KFC Radio - World Series Game 2 Instant Reaction, Rude Jude, Helicopter Rides with El Pres

Episode Date: October 25, 2018

Feits skypes in right after the Red Sox won game 2 of the World Series in Boston and gives his reaction to his guy David Price delivering once again. Feits then talks about his helicopter trip up to Boston with Dave. We've also got voicemails with Rude Jude from The All Out Show on Sirius.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

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it's a full-blown fucking factory. Dude, how about Nardini, too? Nardini goes over to the bar next door to take a picture of it. Totally empty. Just a flex. Yeah, that was fucked up. We're here when we're not here. This is what's happening.

That poor bar just fucking ethered that place, dude. John, I am looking at you right now. You are smiling ear to ear like the fucking Grinch, bro. It just keeps growing larger and larger and larger I'm positively giddy it has been it's been a tough tough three years now this you nobody has ever dug their heels in longer on something that they were fucking dead wrong for three years on until right now. It is unbelievable that the patience paid off.

Well, you know what it is. We discovered it tonight. He doesn't care much for DSs, the divisional series. Fuck a DS. Don't waste David Price's time with a divisional round. Get me to the championship series. Get me to the world series. I'll give you a 270 ERA. I'll take you to the fucking promised

land. This is no problem. I'll put a team on my back here. He just needs a first round bye. He just needs a Patriots route. Done. That's what it is. He is. And to be fair to myself, I've always said that. I've said he's not a guy who is scared of the moment. It's not the moment.

He might be bored. And I got a little David Price in me, where I say, look, I can deliver, but this just bores me, so I'm going to pass on it. And that's what David Price is in the divisional round. You're like one of those parents.

There are parents who say that about their kids, John. Oh, he's just not challenged enough in school. That's why he does bad. You want me to introduce you to some of those parents? They're mine. My mom would always say that. Like, John can do whatever. You just got to kick him in the ass.

Like, yeah, I can. I can do anything you fucking want. You just got to get him in the ass. Like, yeah, I can. I can do anything you fucking want. You just got to get my attention. That's how David Price is. John, breaking news for you. I'm one of your parents now, too. I fucking know that also. And I watched you tonight on that electric chair.

John, I watched you. And I watched you like a proud father as you were screaming at the cameraman. And as you were hollering like a like with your voice like ariana grande style let's go let's go nardini just texted me are you in 1005 recording a podcast yup you got it i mean at this point are we even are we even thinking anything other than a sweep oh no i no. I said last night. I said last night before the game. We had the game.

We did the radio show before the game started last night. And I said, I think Karabas said six, but he meant five. Right. And Dave said six. I think Coley said six. And I said, I'm going to say five out of politeness. But it's four. I was five coming of politeness. But it's four. It's four.

We all know it's four. I was five coming in. And, I mean, after Kershaw has decided to be, you know, Kershaw, and after just watching, like, you know what the thing is? And I said this all along with the Red Sox. They just execute. It's not like they're getting lucky. It's not like this is anything flukes.

It's just like they're doing what they came to do, and they do it much better than everyone else. And when you look back on it, and John, and I swear to God right now, I'm as big of a fucking Red Sox fan as you are because I know how much it crushes the Yankees. When you look back on it, after they sweep the World Series, after they beat the Astros in five and only lose once for the fucking Yankees, they're going to beat a combined like like, 300 wins. And have two

losses. Has anyone ever done that? I mean, they're going to be one of the most dominant postseason teams of all time. And dunces like Hubs and the fucking dumb guineas from the Bronx are going to just fold into themselves and die. And I can't wait for it.

Now, we got some professional opinions today. We had Kevin Millar on Barstool Radio. Heard of him. He said, who wins in a seven-game series? 0-4, 2018. What year is it? 18. Who wins? 0-4, 18. Millar. Quick as a jackrabbit. 0-4.

We smoke him. Because that's who Kevin Millar is. I was going to say. And then we asked Alan Embry and Keith Folk also came on. And both of them, Folk, by the way, put on a couple LBs. I guess he put on a bunch. He's lost a couple since. Still not looking

like Keith Folk. Couldn't take the hill right now. But he said, in fact, Keith Folk, God love him, love Keith Folk. Keith Folk said he wasn't wearing his championship ring because the 0-14, a lot of them threw out the first pitch today Fulk said he wasn't wearing his championship ring because the 0-14, like a lot of them threw out the first pitch today. He said he wasn't wearing his World Series ring because it didn't fit. I don't know how much weight you've got to put on

when your ring doesn't fit anymore, but Keith Fulk just put on that much weight. Not even a ring. Like a World Series ring is like a fucking bracelet. It's like a fucking chandelier. If you can't get your finger through that thing. I'll tell you what, he's got a hell of a handshake. He's got a powerful hand because that thing is fucking huge. It's

a monster hand. All right, enough slander of this poor guy. All right, he did you a favor. He was a heck of a guy. He handled Dave Portnoy calling him Kevin Folk with grace. Which was a wild move.

You know, it's funny because I do know that Dave is a Red Sox fan and I know when the playoffs come around, he kicks it into high gear and he's watching the team, but he really makes it hard to believe he's a goddamn sports fan sometimes.

Fucking A. I think the thing with that is I think he gets the yips because he, like I, when Embry came up, I joked, I said, Dave's probably going to call you Aaron Embry. And by the way, Kevin, I was hosting Barstool Radio today. My guy, I heard you were reading ads and shit.

Dude, all coming in and out of breaks. Bam, bam, bam. I was terrible. You can do anything you put your mind to. You can. Oh, I wasn't very good. But the, I told Alan. Um, but the, uh,

I, I told Alan Embry, I, when he, like we shook his hand as, as he's sitting down, I said, Hey,

just so you know, he's probably gonna call you Aaron. And then once we started going, I was like Michael Scott, when he can't say the company's bankrupt. And it's just like, Oh, I'm going to say,

I'm going to say, I'm going to call this fucking guy Aaron Embry. And I'm going to steal the whole show from Dave that the Kevin folk will get forgotten, and it'll be me calling him Aaron Embry. I mean, what a life you lead right now, bro. Oh. Watching the Red Sox basically start their suite, sitting with the 04 guys, hosting the radio show,

thousands of people watching you on the electric chair, idiots like Hubs to your left. Your guy Coley to your right. It's just, it's a wonderful time to be John Fuddleburg and I'm happy for you, my friend. Kevin, you left out the fact that we took a goddamn fucking helicopter here. And then your boy David Price puts on a show. David Price

was... It's just been sex. It's been goddamn sex. John, are you peaking? No. Well, are you coming out of the valley a little bit? Doubtful.

But here we are. I'm here. I had fun tonight. Me and Coley danced to I forget, one of those hip-hop songs today, and it was fun. I'll tell you that. I had fun tonight. Me and Coley danced to, I forget, one of those hip-hop songs today, and it was fun. I'll tell you that. I had a good time doing it.

I don't remember which one it was. It was a Drake one. I only love my bed and my mom because we chest-bumped to it. That was a hell of a time. I'll give you that. But I don't know. Peeking, I don't know if I have that in me. I think it's a plateau.

It's ideal. You're plateauing right now. That's fine. I'm't know. Peaking, I don't know if I have that in me. I think it's a plateau. It's ideal. You're plateauing right now. That's fine. I'm plateauing. Some people count that as a negative. That's a positive for me. I'm hitting a plateau. It's fantastic.

I haven't even begun to plateau. I mean, it was – I just need to speak directly to the Yankee fans right now who don't understand what's going on. They act like me rooting for the Boston Red Sox is something new. They can't seem to wrap their dumb fucking pea brain front running 27 ring loser brains around it. I've done this my whole life. I've done it before Barstool.

I'm going to do it after Barstool. Anything that makes you miserable makes me happy. I will root for the Red Sox every single fucking time. As long as I know that the Yankees are in it, as long as I know that it hurts the Yankees when the Red Sox are better than them, I will join. I will hug Dave Portnoy. I will join every fucking asshole and I will celebrate with them just so I know that it crushes you when you wake up in the morning and you know that hubs and all your fucking loser fans are miserable that's been one of the funniest things about this is like I mean I've me and David been having a blast together

it's so weird and you know what's really? And you can tell that you guys are like rarely doing this because your high five game is so off. It's like me and you high five. We know how to do it. If you high five with Dave, it's like we've never fucking done this. He doesn't know where to go. I'm going high. You're going low. It's all over the map.

It's weird being friends with Dave. It's like I think it's like me and Dave. I mean, me and Dave have worked together closely for close to 10 years now. And I think it's, I've been thinking about it. I think it's comparable to a father and son who they don't really have much in common, but they love sports and they have their sports teams together. And when they're successful, you bring good memories. Like you texted me, we were doing a video doing a video uh well i think it was today's watch list or you know uh yesterday's watch list and you were like come down let's record this and i wasn't doing it i was just sitting in dave's office and we're just reminiscing about

sports and t-shirts and it's like it brings this this emotion to us where it's like yeah that's what that's it's just it's just a good feeling we have it makes us happy together you can barely even talk right now you You're so giddy. Dude, we were wondering today on radio, like when are we going to talk about next segment? He's like, let's just talk about the best shirts, like the best times we've had covering the game. And I'm like, it was fun. It was fun.

We did it the other day on radio. He just scrolled through his blog and just said the t-shirts out loud. That's all he needed to do. Listen, if there are two things that boston writers from barcelona have done well the past decade it's win sports and put out t-shirts what you two do we cover it we cover it we really we were we went out with napoli last night a little bit and say no more say no more but i was just telling him, I was like, dude,

I remember when I couldn't go out until you had gone in and I was like covering, like, you're just roaming the streets of fucking Boston. You're going down Lansdowne. You're going down fucking Newberry street. And I'm sitting there, my friends keep texting me being like, dude, you gotta come out. You gotta come meet us. It was one of the world series. And I'm like, I can't go anywhere until Napoli and this goddamn bottle of fireball go home.

So I got to keep tracking him with blogs. And, like, we were talking about that with Dave. It was fucking – it's been a fun time. And we've talked about it on radio. We talked about it on today's podcast. We're like, of all the championships Boston has won, this is the most foregone. Like this is a conclusion. And so it's become where it's not even like,

there's no worry of covering the game. It's more just like we're celebrating Boston as a whole. I mean like, dude, we're doing it again. Okay. Wait a minute. Now stop. Because now you're going to get me. Now I'm going to, now, now I'm going to puke. That's fair. That's fair. You should puke. If you were saying this about the Pats, Celtics, or the Bruins, I would want to fucking rip your face off.

Since it's the Red Sox, and I know that your little spiel there is making the Yankee fans upset, I'm okay with it. No, Kevin, I assure you I'm not doing a spiel right now. No, I'm saying the fact that when I hear you put it like this in terms of Boston, it makes me want to be like, all right, I got to pump the brakes here. But what you just said is just so incredibly obnoxious and unbelievable. I don't know what to do anymore.

Don't disagree with you in the slightest. Don't disagree with you at all. It's disgusting. It's gross. It's horrible. But it's a fact. This is done. This was done before the series started. It done now it's just about seven kevin we had on monday morning we had our t-shirt meeting and we're

talking about all the shirts we're gonna launch we're all fucking spitballing we got we're up on the drawing board we're doodling out shit that part's not true and uh and it's just like never never for a second in that meeting did it cross my mind that we might not put these shirts on sale. They might lose this series. It was absolutely guaranteed. It was a done deal. It's a done and it continues to be a done deal. So it's just like a week of being like, Hey, remember how awesome we are? We're doing it again. That's kind of what this whole week is.

John, think back just a mere three years ago i was in the world series i'll compare your experience to my experience mine was five games so what like six maybe seven nights total of fucking like pure hell like it was anxiety ridden and embarrassing. And all I wanted to do was like, Hey, let's at least try to force a game six. You're on game two.

You're, you're guaranteeing victory and you're guaranteeing this. Dude. I said, I say game one before on radio yesterday, I said, game one's a muscle. I asked it and everyone kind of looked at me crazy.

And I said, I think it's a must win. I think when you have Kershaw on the mound – because before game one, right, it was Kershaw-Sale. And Sale, he hasn't been so great. No. I mean, he hasn't been – granted, he's injured and stuff like that, but Sale's been pretty mediocre.

I said, you've got to win this one because David Price just wins World Series games. That's all. You know that. And then our two studs this postseason, they're going games three and four. Then we got Porcello and Evaldi going. Those are the guys who have been dominant for us. So you got to win game one to give yourself a fucking

prayer. And it might get a little tricky in LA without a dh because also jd hurt his ankle we don't know if he's gonna play right field because oh yeah by the way our mvp he was supposed to be a second baseman he just happens to be a gold glove right fielder are you gonna play him at second yeah it was i mean that was going into the series cora was like he's going yeah we're going at second. He said he's second-guessing himself.

He said he's thought about maybe not going second, but it's going to be Mookie at second, JD. Yeah, that's pretty disgusting when it's like, all right, well, we'll just put our MVP at another position, like wildly different. I'm not talking about moving from center to right. I'm talking about moving him from the outfield to the infield and nobody's even concerned or batting an eyelash. That's an embarrassment of riches on that team.

It's fantastic. By the way, I'm just going to go ahead and cold take myself when I said I wouldn't trade Matt Harvey for Mookie Betts. Let's get that out of the way, folks. It was Mookie and Xander. Not combined, but it was either or. You know what? It might have even been combined.

It might have even been both. how'd that work out for me god damn it i can't i i honestly like it's almost i i always say this about my teams versus your teams it's like i'm watching a different sport when mine are so bad and yours are so good but even when my team was good, like the world series that was 2015 is a different sport from the one in 2018. It's just not even the same comparison, the same experience, even remotely. You know, what's also crazy too is like, it's just the outfield is, is so good. It's everything, everything about the team. I mean, I mean, I mean, and again, how many times do we have to reference the selling

your soul to the devil? Ben Attendee flying through the air in the Jordan logo, like T-shirt time, makes the play, puts the T-shirt on sale, steals the game. It's just flip the game. Yeah. Right, right. To my credit, I said, that's a T-shirt.

He went, that just flipped the game. And both things happened. T-shirts on sale now. Store it at barcelsports.com. But it was one of those things where it's like, there's been a lot that's happened. But this team right now, the batting order is relentless. The pitching staff is dominant. Now that you have a great bullpen,

it's just like... And that's what I love about Dave Dombrowski. When Dombrowski, at the trading deadline, he said, guys, I'm good with the pen we're going to have. Don't worry about it. And everyone's like, he's nuts. Tony Mazzarotti, fucking Mike Feller, they can't win with this pen. Guess what? No one's seen this goddamn pen. We're still the starters out there.

You can't win with it, too. Save him for later. We're still the starters out there. It's like you come in and do it in a year or two. Save them for later. We got these starters that are going to go in. Boy, boy. We'll still the starters out there for an inning each. Honestly, I used to think it was Dave Portnoy selling his soul, but I think I've been forgetting that you might be the second half of the equation. I think, like, I don't think you sold your soul, but I think,

I don't know. You're somehow combining with Dave's deal with the devil. It's like, you're the X factor that it's like Dave sold his soul, but the, you know, there was a missing ingredient. It was like a little sprinkle of Feidelberg soulless fucking hard, bam. And all of a sudden, pow, the whole thing. You know what I was? I was the extra ingredient for round two. Yeah. It was.

It was like, Arsenal Sports started in November 2004. So that was probably right around the 2004 championship. Yeah, like it happened right at the same time almost. And then 2007 happened and there was a lull.

And then I came happened, and there was a lull. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And I came in 2011. And Bruins, I was there for Bruins. I was there for – yeah, I was there. I came in – well, it was 7. You had Celtics in 08. And then there's a lull.

I came in 11. And it was 11 win, 13 win, 15, 16, 17, 18? God damn it. Fuck you, John. Fuck you. I forget. I lose track of my friends. You can't even count them.

I fucking hate your gut. You know what? I'm ending this segment right now because, honestly, I'm happy for you, and I'm happy for the Red Sox, but I'm honestly, I'm ending this segment right now because honestly, I'm happy for you and I'm happy for the Red Sox. But honestly, if I listen to you miscount your fucking championships again, I'm going to start to puke. I'm in the market for a brand new couch and the only place I'm going is to Borough. And I mean that literally. Borough is in the same building as us. It's like two floors above Barstool Sports. I might go up to their office and literally tell them I'm in the market for a new Borough,

send one my way. It is the only couch that matters because it's got a USB cord. Right now, I am literally, I'm at my house, I'm sitting on my couch, I'm looking at the outlet to plug my phone in, and it's a solid 12 feet away. I got this cord that's, I don't know, three feet. You do the math. That's nine feet of space where I can't reach and I can't charge my phone. With a Burrow, they have a built-in USB charger right there in the cushions. You reach over, you plug your phone in. Wherever your couch is, that's where your charger is. Wherever your charger is, that's where your couch is it is perfect right now go to burrow.com slash kfc that's b-u-r-r-o-w dot com slash kfc get 75 bucks off they got all sorts of styles all sorts of materials sizes shapes gets delivered right to your apartment and you can customize everything

to your liking and get 75 bucks off when you go to burrow.com slash kfc okay then good if we're gonna change segments because i'm fine with that it's cool um i want to talk about something else that happened on the trip up here which is we took this to helicopter oh yeah and do you ever like hang out with new people and they don't find the things crazy that you and your group finds crazy uh not particularly because i don't hang out with new people and they don't find the things crazy that you and your group finds crazy uh not particularly because i don't hang out with new people but i know what i'm talking about that's happened once or twice in my life but i kind of i kind of resigned from doing that like everything that happened on the helicopter was insane and no one seemed to care because you were with what team portnoy it was not even important i mean it was me frankie carabas and

dave um so he's half team portnoy And Karabas is slightly there. But it was... Like, there were so many things where I was like, Kevin would be losing his mind. I know he would. We are such a gay couple. It's unbelievable. Like, I know he's freaking out about this right now. When the pilot said it was...

So the pilot, we get in there, and we say, how long is this flight going to take? And to be clear i don't understand why we took a helicopter it makes no fucking sense but we did and i was like i was uh i think dave asked how long is this flight and the pilots had 1.3 hours and i immediately like snapped back and like i was like someone else freaked out with me someone like who the fuck talks like that 1.3 1.3 hours and i i think i tweeted immediately i was like i'm gonna be annoyed about this for two to three weeks this is gonna

piss me off and i've tried to bring it up on radio twice i've tried to bring it up countless occasions and no one seems to care about why this guy said it's gonna be 1.3 hours dude i would have been there i would i would i would have talked about nothing on the electric chair except for that. That's all we were talking about. 1.3? And it got crazier. Dave goes, credit to Dave, incredible math. He goes, what's that, about hour 25?

Dave goes, eh, hour 24. I was like. It started spinning back there, Kevin. It started spinning started spinning it's like what are you talking about it's now like 24 minutes and then and then i guess the plus mathematics that does not work for you john those two things did not fly outrageous whorageous. Who does that? Who does a thing like that? What kind of monster says 1.3 hours? That's a fucking pilot trying to be a pilot.

You know? Right. Walking army time. Oh, we'll be there around 0600 hours. Just wake up, dude. We're not in Afghanistan. Relax. We're not touching down Black Hawk Down style, alright? What fucking time is it gonna be? There's an easier way. Remember in the office we're not touching down Blackhawk down style. All right. What fucking time is it going to be? Like there's,

there's an easier way. Like remember in, um, in the office when Michael Scott's like, he's given out all these, all these abbreviations for everything. And they're like, it could be easier to just say exactly what you meant because now you have to explain it to it all to us.

Like you said 1.3 hours. So you could have just said an hour, 20, 24. Apparently you just say an hour and a half. What the fuck are we talking about could have just said an hour and 24, apparently. You're just saying an hour and a half. What the fuck are we talking about here? It's an hour and a half. What the fuck is going on? We get into this place,

and we flew out of Blade. We flew in Blade helicopter. It's a thing. It was... You get there 30 seconds before you fly. Then a helicopter magically touches down, and you jump off. That's it. And it was, like, the most nouveau riche thing.

Like, you know, remember in, like, elementary school, we had, like, the trailers for, like, the special needs kids? They had their classes out there. That's where I was from, yeah. It was, like, just a trailer. It was attached to the building but it's like a trailer it wasn't like uh it wasn't like a white trash trailer but it was a trailer it was a temporary building this is a fall river thing or something i don't we didn't put our retarded kids in a trailer i don't know what's going on definitely might be because it was in middle school too i just went with elementary school but it was both and um and it

was like this is where like the special needs classes were. And like, that's what this building was. It was, it was painted black to make it look chic. And, uh, you get in there and I, I got, I was the first one there. And, uh, cause I've been late before. You didn't know that I've been late to things. So I decided I'm going to show up first and it's just, it's like pretty blonde girls sitting there you know like in a it's like the the lobby of a hotel again like a new hotel and she's just like can i get you a drink well it's

10 30 on a tuesday so no i'm gonna be okay right now thank you very much okay but and like the new art hanging around like just naked lady but it's like in an artsy fashion. And then this thing shows up. And no, first of all, I filled that out with candy. It just punched candy, just stuffed my back with candy. And then this thing rolls in and we just, it's like, actually, can I tell you this? You love the candy thing.

I had gone into the wrong helicopter company at first. And then I asked, you know, is the Fidelberg a reservation here? And they were like, no. And I had already stuffed my bag with candy. So I just walked out and stole their candy. That wasn't a different one. It wasn't Blade. But then you get in the helicopter.

And I'll tell you what, if you're super rich and you're not riding in a helicopter everywhere, you're fucking up because you feel like you're king of the world. You can still see everything. Like an airplane, you can't see stuff. In a helicopter, you can still see everything. And by the way, the lever for the door is right there, which is fine in a car, not in a helicopter. You could have just ditched right out bro it was super uncomfortable but i was like oh oh mr i'm gonna kill myself you could have put your

fucking money where your mouth is oh i've said countless times i don't have the stones to kill myself but i accidentally died that's fine true story dude the helicopter life, it is, it's everything it's cracked up to be. I did that in like, I don't know. That was probably like 2011. I'm the only person who had their Barstool career peak in 11. Everything else is taken off. I'm going backwards. I'm going from helicopters to minivans. Motherfucker.

Bullshit. Yeah, no, there's not a more cockier feeling than like getting out of the fucking chopper. It's not a more cockier feeling than getting out of the fucking chopper. It's unbelievable. I was actually mad that... I didn't Instagram a picture. I didn't do anything because I just hate that.

But I was like, if someone's outside the helicopter when we land, I want to redo the Sinatra picture. I don't know if you know about that iconic Sinatra picture. I even brought a flask of whiskey. I was like, I'm ready. I'll fucking dish in the glass. I'm ready to rip. Ready to rip on this one. It was just like one

guy who I just wasn't... He was a baggage handler. I was like, I can't make this guy take a picture of me. I mean, that's the other thing too. You gotta act like you've been there. If you're the getting i mean could you imagine dave if you wanted to stage an instagram on this fucking helicopter you would never shut the fuck up about it but you know what that's also why you gotta travel with me because i would have taken that picture for you babe well you can't like like i i don't like act like you've been there because sometimes you just

haven't been there yeah no you haven't been there and you might No, you haven't been there. And you might not be back. But in your case, you'll probably be back. Probably be back, man. You know, well, I don't know. I'm not, because this isn't going to come back to Boston. I hate you. I don't know. Maybe, maybe, maybe we'll know, because Atlanta, we're going to, when the pass from the Super Bowl, we're going to take the train down to Atlanta.

Holy motherfucker. Yo, train life is going to be dope, though. The train's going to be sick. Train life's going to be awesome. Fuck the Super Bowl. The train ride down to Atlanta is going to be dope. Quick 20 hours on a train. All right, let's get into this.

We got Rude Jude on the show. He's answering our voicemails. So we'll talk to Jude Angelini, and we'll catch you guys back in New York for next week's episode. You know me. It's your boy KFC and I am the captain of team indoors. That means every time I walk through the door of my house, the first thing I do is I get in comfortable clothes.

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That's TommyJohn.com slash KFC, 20% off. We are joined once again, probably one of our longest-running return customers here, Rude Jude Angelini back in the building once again. Thanks for having me, gentlemen. Yeah, I just said to him before we started, you know, you pushing anything, and he said, no, I just came to chop it up,

which I really respect. It's like he actually just wants to talk to us. Even just saying chop it up. I was like, God, rude. So cool. Yeah. Yeah. You guys are day one.

You guys have been fucking day one. So it's true, dude. I mean, uh, it's, it's been, uh, if you've been, if you've been riding with Jude since the beginning, it's been a fucking ride. I mean, we don't have to tell the whole story. Go back and listen to the old interviews, but I mean, it's from,

start from the bottom, you know? Same with y'all. I remember being in the boardroom doing a phoner, like I was in the boardroom of Sirius doing a phoner with you guys from, I think it was your crib. Yeah. We were in his basement in Brooklyn. I remember that and all you fuckers called me a wigger.

So fuck you. I still remember that shit. I always forget when a dude comes in here and smokes all the fucking chow soup. I'm always mad at you fucking date raping frat boy motherfuckers. Always calling me a fucking wigger. Fuck you.

Why does he fucking talk like that, man? Holy shit. Fucking problem, man. I didn't know who the fuck was talking in here. Whose vagina did you come out of anyway, man? I do always get a kick out of when I tweet out that you're going to be on here. I always make sure I include a picture just for the inevitable. Holy shit, Jude's white?

It's a great feeling. It's like breaking news. It's like, hey, he's white. Yeah, surprise. Bitch, and my credit's wh. It's like breaking news. It's like, hey, he's white. Surprise, bitch. My credit's whiter than a motherfucker, too. I'm in the mid-sevenths. Buy a house on you, bitches.

I love it. I love it, man. I don't even know what good credit is, by the way. I honestly can't even imagine what your credit score is I have no idea you probably you don't have any right it's probably zero

probably zero yeah that's bad that's not good yeah that's bad man well I thought being low is good I got zero motherfucker no you want to be high

oh you want to be high you want to be like 800 yeah oh I think I just have zero yeah like the only thing worse than a bad credit score is no credit score

that's you so I'll just get a credit card and fuck it up and be a higher up it's better than what you're at right now. I know. That's how,

I got some foreign homies whose parents named them the same name as them and then just ran up, ran up their, ran up the credit and their name. So like they,

they came in with a real bad credit score into 18. My dad named me his same name. Damn, he might be getting you. The one off the top of my head

named her daughter Thelma. That's smart because no one's going to suspect a Thelma. Thelma's not fucking with me. She never does that. Thelma, you can trust Thelma. That's a scam right there. That is some next level scheming.

I'm going to fuck with my blood. Because I want to. Yeah, bro. That is some next level scheming. That's of like, I'm going to fuck with my blood. Right. Yeah, because I can. Because I want to. Because I want a new Hyundai. Yeah, man. Blood. I feel like these days that's who you fuck up more.

Yeah. You hear more stories about people fucking up their blood than anything else. Yeah. Everyone's worried about fucking their kids getting kidnapped.

It's the uncle that's going to fuck you. Right. Remember that shit. Watch the uncle, man. Don't let that motherfucker, oh, he drank too much. Nah, just put him in an Uber man don't let don't let that motherfucker oh he drank too much nah just put him in an uber don't let him stay tonight fuck he's gonna fuck your kid dude trust me trust you you know everyone's so scared like we're in this everyone's so scared

nowadays like they won't let their kids go out and play because they're afraid the stranger's gonna get strangers don't want you i don't give a fuck about your kid. I don't want your fucking kid. How about this? The thing of the year is be careful this Halloween they're going to give out edibles, like weed gummies to your kids. Who's fucking giving away their

weed to random kids? That shit is expensive. I'm going to buy all these drugs and give them away to random children? I don't think that's how it works. Fucking get out of here. So I do GHB, and GHB is considered one of the date rape drugs. Roofies is the one. Rehypnol is the one, but GHB is like its cousin.

And chicks are like, are you going to GHB me? And I'm like, bitch, you know how expensive this shit is? GHB me. I'm like, I'll talk you out of some pussy. Like, it's cheaper to fucking take you out for drinks than fucking the amount I would need to fucking knock you out. That's like

$50 worth. You roofie yourself? Yeah, bro. Like, straight out of The Hangover, straight out of Arrested Development. That's straight out of Steven Janikowski, Sebastian Janikowski at FSU. He used to do that? He got caught with a bunch of GHB, I think it was. Yeah. And he was like, no, I use that myself.

And everyone was like, yeah, right, dude. You're a Florida State football player. You're definitely giving it to girls. He's like, no, I just drink it myself. I have a problem. Yeah, it's a low-cal way to get fucked up. The homosexuals like it. Magic Mike may do it, too.

Yeah, the gay dudes and fucking white guys do it. You should start doing it. You're getting gains, bro. Fights is looking diesel these days. It's bothering me. I'm not. I was looking fat yesterday. That was a bad picture.

There was a picture yesterday. His sleeves are hugging his arms right now. He's got the tricep popping. Yeah, bro. That divot in the back. It's fucking annoying. Crushing him. But you know what?

Because he did steroids in high school. He always says that. It's not because of steroids in high school. Because you did it. I did it, but it doesn't have anything to do with how I look now. I don't know, bro. I've changed shape three different times since then. No, I gave you like the base.

No, the base. You had that roid base. I had. Exactly. I'm from a big family. My family's big people. Large family breeding. My family's big people.

I don't know. If I need a jar of peanut butter open, I go to you. I'll just be like, here, man. Handle that shit. Can't get in these pickles. Yo, bro,

I'm doing HGH right now. That shit is... You just bought it? I got a homie that goes over to Mexico and gets it for me. Can I get some of that? I think we should all be on that shit.

I'd love some. I'm dead ass serious. I would really like some HGH. I'll put you with my man. The hardest thing is keeping that shit cold, but... Oh, you gotta with my man. The hardest thing is keeping that shit cold. Oh, you gotta keep it cold? Yeah, you gotta keep that shit cold.

Like a bad or something? Yeah, it's gotta be refrigerated. What is it, like a liquid? Yeah, it's a liquid and I shoot it in my stomach. Oh, shit. I'm not gonna do all that. Can I drink it? I'll do intravenous.

Can you drink it? I'm not trying to fucking shoot up, but. What do you do, like an insulin shot? Like you pinch a little bit and do it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like in one of them little baby needles. Not like a full grunt. No, it's like a full.

It depends. When I was shooting ketamine back in the day, I'd have been bummed about that needle. But like, it's half the size of a ketamine needle. So for the seasoned veterans out there. For the seven of you out there that shoot ketamine besides my junky ass. I quit, by the way. Did you? Yeah, I did.

I feel like last time you were here, you were working on that. Yeah. So good to hear it's... And then I relapsed and I quit again. But I'm good now. So we got that. You arguably might be the best drug user of all time. Like you're successful.

You've held down this gig on the radio for how long now? I know, I show up to work. Yeah. A lot of drug users don't. I got in trouble once when I was like by 18, I was living in Newport and I had a friend who told my parents that I was addicted

to Adderall and drinking and my parents called me and they were like, what's the deal? Check my work schedule. I've worked every day for the last 21 days. I promise you I don't have a fucking problem. Because of the Adderall. That's why I'm working. Gets you up from all that drinking.

What's the problem? You always wake up too after you have an Adderall. I always wake up like I had a nightmare. I'm not in the middle of a nightmare, but every time I wake up it's just like, okay, we still have energy. Awesome, time to go to work now. Get it in.

It's always a shocking arousal rather than just slowly groggy. It's like you just pop out like Dwayne Wade in that commercial. You're like. All right. Work. No. John Snow. He goes back to life.

He takes that breath. So, yep. Still living. Still going. Are you still doing the Adderall? No. I don't use it because Adderall keeps up for like three days. Yeah.

I've never been down with the idea of doing drugs for school or work. People are like, I got to do work, so give me some drugs. I'm like, the whole point is to have fun. I don't know. I'll just sit here at work and do my work and be miserable, you know? I do my drugs after work. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's your prize.

Yeah, exactly. That's the carrot. You know, you dangle the ketamine. We all work in media, and I know when I'm close to the line, sober. So if I got a little bit of buzz in me, I might be stepping over the line a lot. So are you done with the ketamine? You swap in the GHB? Is that how it works?

Just like one rock, beater, and paypal? Yeah, basically. One of these days. One of these days,'ll see Sober Jude It'll be great Can't wait I'll be rock climbing And shit

That's true though If you're this I mean you're a busy guy You're writing books You're doing the radio You're a functioning Fucking addict at this point If you were sober

Who fucking knows Yeah you'll be climbing Mount Everest and shit Don't wanna do that No I Don't want to do that. No, I wouldn't want to. Or either that or it's the opposite. It's like you would just,

you know, that's what fuels you. I was sober for shit like 12 years back in the day trying to get on. Yeah, but it was just, I just would fuck.

I'd drink Red Bull and fuck, you know, so it was like, let's be real. That sounds fun too. That sounds terrible. Drinking Red Bull and having sex sounds awful to me. I mean, I wouldn't have the can in my hand and, like, smashing doggy style.

I wouldn't be like, yeah, it's fucker. Pour it on her back and shit, lick it. It's not like, yeah, it'd be sticky. I wouldn't do that either. But you'd fucking drink it ahead of time and you'd go out to the bar. I get like like uh the i always tweak on something but caffeine's never done it for me that's why i don't like that at all either it's like the the like jittery fucking focus i assure you i don't want to feel

like me but i mean you were sober for a while so maybe you could shed some light on it but to me i'm like so you just are you at all times like you don't even have a couple of drinks after work to like, just feel better. You talking to me? Talking to everybody out there who's sober. I mean, I guess Red Bull and fucking did it for Jude, but I know there was some quote like,

uh, about being able to stand your own company. Like most people, like most people just can't deal with it. Yeah. I suck. Fact. Yeah.

Or like, I'm boring as shit. I'm fucking like, what is it late enough to go to bed yet Yeah I actually did that I was doing that Maybe like two weeks ago

I just kept like Looking out my window Being like fuck The sun's still up Can't go to bed yet And I just sit there Putting my thumbs For a little bit longer

Is it time Like alright It was like Santa came Like sun's down Run into bed Fucking curl up Time to go to bed This guy's been fucking

With gravity blankets Yeah Gravity blankets He's got 40 pounds of blanket He has a 25 pound one Run into bed Fucking curl up Time to go to bed This guy's been fucking With gravity blankets Yeah Gravity blankets He's got 40 pounds of blanket He has a 25 pound one And a 15 pound one Isn't that for like Autistic kids

Yup Everybody says that Dogs and shit Yup Thunderstorms Yup Correct All the kids

Like high anxiety And uh Buddy let me tell you Sleep like a fucking baby Isn't it supposed to be Good for you Yeah it's amazing He loves it.

He loves it. Do you sweat? That's right. That's why I... I set up my AC going to my room. Okay. So that probably helps, but I do. I have a 15-pound blanket and a 25-pound blanket.

I stack them on top of each other, and I put a five-pound sleep mask on my eyes. Did you... Like, what was your gateway blanket? Was it the 15? No, he said it was like heroin. I need more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what...

Yeah, it was like heroin. I got a 15 first, but my mom got me the 15. She was like, you're all fucked up. You need this. His mom sends him texts and emails and shit that's always like, hey, why don't you check this out? And it's like this self-help book from some psychologist. Jesus Christ. Here's an autistic kid blanket.

Just, I don't know, thought you might like it. I'm like, that blanket was awesome. I know, I've been trying to convince you of autism since you were six ever since you locked the fucking cowskeeper in the basement we need something tested i tested negatively but she doesn't she doesn't believe in that science i guess last time last test you pass bro yeah they're like there's more autistic people now but i just feel like they're i feel like they just kind of are noticing it more. Yeah.

Well, that's. He was just a fucking weirdo. My mom has said to all of her kids, like you, we're going to do anti-vaccine. My mom has said to all of us. I've been saying things a lot recently that people kind of just let fly. Just slip it in. I think that's like a bad look from me where people are like, yep, that's what John thinks. Okay, we'll carry on.

I'm going on that YouTube thing. We're like fucking waiting to vaccinate. I'm going to wait a little bit to vaccinate. I'm not going to not vaccinate, but I'm going on that YouTube thing. I'm fucking waiting to vaccinate. I'm going to wait a little bit to vaccinate. I'm not going to not vaccinate, but I'm going to wait a little bit. I'm not going to not. But you presented an interesting case. That's all I'm saying. I'm going to hedge my bets, though.

Everyone's autistic. My mom was like, all of you were doing weird fucking shit when you were kids. That had it been 2018, it would have been like, oh, my God, they're god they're on the spectrum instead we just said you're a fucking weirdo yeah you know yeah humans are fucking weird i was just telling i was i was i'm like yo dude like everyone's all crazy right now but like like i feel like people are at a fever pitch and all upset about fucking everything and like if you really think about it like the, the last 50,000 years, this is probably the most chill we've ever been. You think? Fuck yeah, dude.

As far as human history? Yeah, as far as human history goes, like, us just sitting around and not trying to kill each other and then fuck each other's wife. Yeah, and, like, kill the main, the oldest son so he can't fucking battle me and shit. Then I'm going to go run over to this village over here, fuck them up. Yeah, that's true.

It's like we're just talking to fucking microphones and getting paid. You're like, hey, bro, you're not supposed to fuck your cousin. These are all new ideas. You're like,

wait until she's 18. New ideas, man. We're next level these days, bro. Yeah, bro. I think everybody should give ourselves a break, man. We're doing pretty good. I like that take. bro. Like, yeah, give us, I think everybody should give ourselves a break, man. Like, we're doing pretty good. I like that take.

Yeah, I do like that take. That's a new one. You know, humanity, everyone's always like, fuck everything. Humanity's the worst. Like, trust me. It could have been a lot worse. It used to be way worse. You would just get clubbed and, like, skinned, and that was that.

Yeah, bro. Like, fucking the steps over there, the Mongols and shit back in the day, they used to like to get a girl, man. You just go to another. Snatch them. Yeah, you go to another fucking village and grab one of their fucking chicks and it worked out. That way you don't got the inbreeding so much and. Good to go. Boom, you're my wife.

Bam. Surprise. Get used to it. That's your new dad over there. That's your new mom. That is true. We always do bitch about that, that too with like Twitter and how technology is fucking us up

and like the like indigenous people like the cannibal islands who don't have Twitter they're still eating each other yeah so like

we're eating each other on the internet as not having Twitter is yeah that's because people are just fucked up whether you give them a Twitter whether you give them a fucking club yeah whatever

people are going to do some bad shit with it because we're fucking wild as hell. It's true. See, that's why I like Jude, though, because he just lives wild. He's just like, yeah. Like, why go against your nature, right? Yeah.

Just let it rip. Or like, I don't pretend like it's not there. Right. And then it helps you fucking, it helps you have compassion for other people and fucking compassion for yourself. See, that's what you... Forgive yourself for doing stupid fucking shit. Right.

But then where do you... Do you worry about you're just enabling yourself to do fucked up stuff? Well, when I... I feel like you still have a moral compass when I'm burning myself down, I realize that you're killing yourself. You need to have some self-awareness

in order to just cut loose and give in to your cravings or your nature or whatever. Yeah. But that I've always said this every time you're here, people joke, we don't give a fuck. These guys don't give a fuck about anything. You just, you don't give a fuck about what you don't give a fuck about. You live exactly how you want to live, no matter what the norms are,

no matter what the you're supposed to do. Yeah. It's hard to do though. Yeah. I'm 41 and single bro. So like exactly though, just even that alone. Crazy fucking stomach problem going. yeah I'm 41 and single bro so like exactly though just even that alone got some crazy fucking

stomach problem going like I'm not like I'm not I do not look at me as like as something to strive to be no but the fact that you're like 41 and single

like that's okay like that's fine it is fine but I'm telling y'all motherfuckers like get a good one

and put put some kids up in there and then make it work and fucking. Don't be Jude is what you're saying? Yeah, don't be me. I'm a fucking cautionary tale. I really am, dog. I'm a cautionary tale.

Those books, those stories are entertaining though, bro. Yeah, they're good. You're an entertaining cautionary tale. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, that's what I'm saying. A cautionary tale you want to go get a drink and do some GHB with. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do. Yeah, I mean, you're right. You don't want to, like you said, burn yourself down and shit what I'm saying. Like, it's- A cautionary tale you want to go get a drink and do some GHB with. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do-

Yeah, I mean, you're right. You don't want to, like you said, burn yourself down and shit. I'm becoming more conservative. But there is something to the fact that you're just like, eh, that's the norm. I don't really give a fuck. And when you say I don't give a fuck, like, you truly don't. I'm going to do the opposite because I don't care. A lot of people can't do that.

A lot of people just conform. We always talk about it. We're just like, you know, some girl. We're dating some girl. We don't like what's going on, but we just, just like fall into the routine and we just let it happen and then all of a sudden you're miserable you know yeah you gotta check them i'll be telling my home boys you gotta check and ladies if you're listening like if you start dealing with somebody you need to check that behavior quick early yeah because it becomes a pattern and if you don't fucking

you can't break it then you don't you can't break the pattern because it's like six weeks later you'll be like what are you talking about I've been like this right yeah yeah it's like oh I've hated it the whole time

but why did you say something I remember I was fucking with this broad she was bad bro she was uh they got this shit called colored people

and I'm not talking like some redneck in the south this is in South Africa there's black people there's white people and then there's colored people they call them you can look it up on Facebook

and they're basically mixed people like mixed on white people, and then there's color people. They call them. You can look it up on Facebook. And they're basically mixed people, like mixed on mixed on mixed, and like just bad, like bad as hell. Curvy than a motherfucker, like all different types, every texture and shit, all these different shades. So I'm fucking with this color girl from South Africa, and she starts like, on the third time we're hanging out, she starts nitpicking me, nitpicking me. And I see where this is going. It's starting to hurt my, it actually hurt my heart I'm like damn this is yeah this is her like death by a thousand you're being a little too honest right now and I was I had to check her out I was like hey look you're not gonna talk to me like this because you're gonna I'm a I'll become a man that both you and I hate you're gonna despise me and I'm gonna despise me so I'm going to despise me.

So like, don't you fucking be negative towards me like that. She was like, all right, she chilled the fuck out. Chilled the fuck out, man. See, that's an inspirational tale,

not a cautionary tale. Yeah. That's how you should be. Yeah, check them and tell them why. You know what I mean? Tell them why is a tough one. Yeah. Because then you have to admit

that it hurt your feelings. I think, yeah, we some fragile motherfuckers, dog. Yeah, man. Oh, yeah. I'm in rap. Insecure shit. I'm in rap.

They're the most fragile cats ever. Yeah. Like, you step on a motherfucker's shoes at a store and it's a fucking shootout. You know what I mean? Like, I'm dealing with fucking kid gloves all the fucking time. What did you think of Pusha and Drake? I thought that was almost the best example of like, you said her name, well I'm gonna burn your shit down.

Oh, you mentioned that I had a kid? Oh my god. I don't think either of those were necessarily that bad, but everybody in rap acted like to both of them. I know. They're not used to it though, you know? Like Pac came out the gates like that's why I fucked your bitch. He didn't even rhyme. He just said it.

He just was like, that's why I fucked your bitch to Biggie. We rhyme. He just said it. He just was like, that's why I fucked your bitch to Biggie. We were kind of, we're just used to more, these rap beefs now, they kind of see, they understand that it generates, it's like World Wrestling Federation

or WWE. They just understand it. Especially Drake. He just turns right around, doesn't care, sells out a fucking million arenas. Has everyone he hated on stage with him like a week later

and it's no big deal. It's like, I mean, honestly, we should start beefing just to get shit going. Yeah, I don't know. It's good for biz. I know, it's really good for,

like, it's really good for biz. I think that's the whole background. Like, I'm not, I'm not sure, but I think that's like how K-pop blew up. Like, yeah, all these motherfuckers

got storylines, bro. Really? Yeah, man, it's like a fucking, it's like a goddamn soap opera behind the scenes. Like, this group is dating that group. And it's real or it's fabricated? That's all fucking fake, man. It's like a goddamn soap opera behind the scenes. This group is dating that group. And it's real or it's fabricated?

That's all fucking fake, bro. What did you think of that? I don't know anything about K-pop. I don't either. I just know it's fucking big as shit. Huge. Dude, fucking Jeff Lowe the other day, when those K-pop dudes were at Good Morning America, he tweeted like-

He said like, never seen anything like it, right? He goes, they have a huge crowd. In like 45 minutes, had 9,000 retweets. That's crazy. Yeah, bro. That's next level shit. It wasn't even retweeted by, like, the group or anyone. It's just, like, people saw K-pop and were like, that's huge.

Man, it's about time Asian dudes start getting some pussy. You know what I mean? Good for them. So I'm fucking happy for this shit. You know what I mean? The plight of the Asian male has been a tough one. Bro. You know, the girls, at least, they have their niche.

The guys, it's like, there's not a girl alive who's like, what's my fetish with my thing? An Asian dude. Straight up. That is on the list. Yeah, it's about to be, though. K-Pop's about to put them on. The way Woody Allen got nerds pussy, K-Pop's about to get motherfucking Asian dudes some fucking. If you didn't have game before, just wait a year or two.

You can get some girls. Get those pixelated dicks going, man. I mean, cats that got game, it doesn't matter what the fuck they are or how they look. That's true. I think that's probably the problem with a lot of Asian guys. Did you talk to Eminem at all about his beef? Nah, man. Where'd you fall on that one?

I'm on Eminem's side. Clearly. I worked for the guy um and i don't know i was never a fan of machine go kelly so i mean i never knew i mean i knew the name i couldn't have named it he rapped fast i couldn't have picked out a song i didn't know a title i thought he actually came came all right and then when you really broke down what eminem said on the response it was like oh this is a massacre the thing was was he came hard enough for him to have to answer. Which is, you know, like a win in its own right.

I wrote a billion words on it one night. I just started spewing. And I said, like, ultimately, I think Eminem wins this battle. But the fact that, like, what does that mean to Eminem? Nothing. MGK is like, now I know him. You know him. We were talking about him.

That's a win. We just spent a fucking minute on this motherfucker, you know what I mean? The fact that he, that Eminem, of all people, was like, I gotta sit down and write this shit, is I mean, he fucking massacred him, but just even that in its own right. I think he lightweight massacred him, too. Yeah. Cause

he didn't even like Wikipedia's ass, you know what I mean? He just went from the song. Like, if you, if... That was the thing, you needed to listen to his, to Machine Gun Kelly's shit to really understand what Eminem said. Yeah, he just answered from the song. That was the thing. You needed to listen to his Machine Gun Kelly shit to really understand what Eminem said. Yeah, he just answered the song back. Forget about it. Yeah, if he would have just opened up Wikipedia, he would have killed him even worse. He slaughtered him, but it was lightweight.

He's opening for Fall Out Boy. That's it. Battle over. That's what I said. I was saying on the show when it happened, I was like, bro, even if Machine Gun Kelly comes back, you can't be in a battle with the dude opening for Fall Out Boy. Do it. Let him drop a thousand songs on you.

Yeah, I really think he would not have responded had he known that. Like, oh, this guy is literally nobody if he's fucking opening for Fall Out Boy. Well, hang on. Let's stop with the Fall Out Boy. Have they had a hit recently, or are they like a legacy tour right now? I mean, they're still selling out, whatever it is. I think they're in one of the bands now

that they just do songs for the NHL. They have the opening NHL song. The montage for the champion or whatever. They do that kind of stuff. Which is like, that's Imagine Dragons too. That's a lucrative business. It's his own genre. I feel that.

Let's get into some voicemails here. We've got some people with the questions. What's up, Vice, KFC, Super Producer BC. Need a little bit of advice here, not really a hypothetical or a question. I've been dating this girl for a while. She wants me to move in with her. It's fine. I'd love to do that.

But it'd be two hours commute from my work, and I really like where I work. I got a good job. I want to stay there. But I said I can't really do it right now, and she said it's fine. But I need some extra income, so I'm going to become a stripper. And she's super serious about it. I kind of call her bluff on it. She immediately sent me three different places where she wants to talk to the owners and shit like that.

She really wanted some advice on it, like how do I handle this. I called her bluff, and she's actually going through with it. Oh, man. I don't really know what to do. This is like, this is some Seinfeld shit. This is Costanza driving out to the Hamptons. You know, like, she's just committing to this. Like, nope, nope, seriously.

Look, I went to the strip club. I talked to the owner. I swear to God, I'm going to be a stripper. You don't think she's actually going to do it? I mean, I need to know a little bit more about this lady before I can say whether she's stripper material. Because I do think you could probably call someone's bluff if they're really not stripper material. Everyone's day shift stripper material. That is true. You know that real well.

Go read Hyena. You got some day shift stripper stories that are the glob of peanut butter, which is still one of the funniest things I've ever read. I swear to God, all the hookers I ever get, I'm like, why don't you look like the hookers in the movies? You're just like a regular broad that will fuck me for money. You're not even pretty. I pull way prettier chicks. Such a bummer.

I've said before that I'm fine dating a stripper, but she has to already be a stripper. You can't have one become on your watch. Because if I meet you and you're a stripper, then you're a stripper. That's fine. That's you. If I meet you and we're just like a regular couple and you're like, to spite you.

Yeah. To become a stripper out of spite is kind of a fuck up. That's why I think she's not going to do it. I feel like she's just mad this guy won't move in. This is all power play shit. Yeah. And I think... I don't know. He seems a believer. That's the whole fucking shit. Yeah. And I think, I don't know,

he seems a believer. That's the whole fucking point. That's the whole, like he already, look man, she already got my man, bro. She already got you thinking

about commuting two hours. Yeah. That's crazy. We talk all the time about how like, like I won't break up with you. I'll just sit there and be miserable

and go with the flow. You're not commuting two hours. No. Oh no. I mean, that's an instant break up. I have a 15 minute commute and every morning I'm. You're not commuting two hours. No. Oh, no. I mean, that's an instant breakup. I have a 15-minute commute, and every morning I'm like, should I do it today? Right.

Two hours? Like, the fact that you were even considering it. The fact that she even asked you, thinking, oh, he'll do it. You needed to check something a long time ago. And, yo, if you're not making enough money, like you say, lady, then why don't you come moving over here where the money's at? Like, if I got the money, why are we moving away from the money?

You move to me. That's how the fuck it's gonna go. That's a great point. I don't know how I would think of that one. Look, man, I don't know about this. This girl's got a bunch of red flags. Yeah, bad vibe. I would dropkick that hoe. To the fucking curb. Say you're dating a girl and she wants to become a stripper.

You okay with that? Not under these circumstances. Say she she wants to become a stripper you're okay with that not under these circumstances say she just wants to be a stripper and make some money if we were serious yeah nah you're not doing that but if it's just chill

but if she was already like but also I fuck tons of sex workers because like for free because of my show and cause I accept them

for where they're at. I'm like, alright dude, you fucking for money? Whatever. Half the porn chicks are... If you slide in their DMs and offer them $1,500, two grand,

you can fuck, y'all. You know what I mean? It's what they do. You're doubling what they usually get. There you go. Just make doubling what they usually get. So fucking, there you go. Just make sure your paperwork's tight. I'm not trying to change into these chicks and I'm not trying to wife them neither.

And I'm not, I'm okay with fucking an ex sex worker, but you're not going to be doing no sex work while I'm your fucking man. When I was younger, I was, was cool with that shit, but not, not now. I see that. I was cool with that shit, but not now.

I see that. I think that's a perfectly fair stance. I still think that we've had to deal with the whole stripper thing. In my mind, I like to think, yeah, that's cool if you're a stripper, but eventually it probably wears on. The first night that you start thinking about it or you see some of the people, you go to pick her up and you see some of the guys that are in the club or whatever, that shit starts to eat at you dog like think of all like

all the sacrifices that you've made and then to fucking your girlfriend's getting her hand by some fucking rando fucking banker or something like the only thing i could think that might be good because if i let's i i'm inside the head of a girl here. If I'm the stripper, I'd be like, I'm not going to give this guy a hard time about anything because he lets me fucking strip. Because if I was, if you would just start nagging me about normal shit and you're a fucking stripper. You were jerking a guy off last night. That's, I don't. I'm not going to, we're going to watch what I want to watch.

But she is going to nag him. That's the thing. She is going to nag his ass. They'll never not. They'll never not. I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, and it sounds disparaging to the stripper community.

I don't want to put them down, but I'm saying that like, I feel like you get a lot of slack in the other parts of the relationship. If your man's putting up with you being a sex worker. I don't think so. Cause I don't think it's you. They should, but they won't.

I don't think I would give my girlfriend credit. Like if she's like, look, you talked about our fucking sex life on radio for two hours today. I'm watching what I want to watch. I'm like, no, it's always Sonny is on tonight. John, you're 100% correct. I retract everything I just said.

Next voicemail. The government decided to send out the herd and eliminate the bottom X percent of the population, which, side note, I think is a great idea. At what percentage would you start getting worried that they might take you off? Are they based on everything? How good a guy you are, how much money you make, how good you are, your job, family stuff.

This is some introspective shit. So let's say the government, the government decides we're going to send out this herd of fucking, you know, massacre, this murderers. And we're going to wipe out the bottom X, Y,

Z percent of the population. Okay. What percentage are you like? Oh shit. That might be in that. That's some honest shit. Pretty low. You think?

I mean, he said you got to conclude everything. As far as jobs go, as far as entertainment goes and shit, you're in the top, top, top percentile. Yeah, you're contributing highly to the tax base for a person. Now, your character might not be the highest. Might be a piece of shit. So something's high, something's low. I mean, you've got to compare yourself to junkies, to fucking homeless people who are living in the sewers. Okay, I'm above them.

Barely. I just meant that literally. They're in the sewer on the street sewer I am literally higher than they are I don't really know It's a tough question to actually answer Honestly about yourself I think my answer would be Higher than I'd like to admit

I think I'm like a better person Than I Oh yeah You have all sorts of self-doubt issues. But not. You're much higher than you. If a gun to my head. You got a way to bake it.

Blanket, bro. Bet your mom got you. It ain't coming for you at the bottom. A gun to my head, it would be like, I would be forced to like, I'm actually a pretty good person. That's what a gun to my head would do. It would be like, all right, I'm actually not that bad. You should probably keep me. What about you, Gare?

I mean, you know, public opinion this past year would probably put me, like, at the bottom. I think a little more highly of myself, though. But I guess it depends on how much you value certain things, you know? And you're not in a vacuum looking at yourself. You're comparing yourself to America. Right. I mean, America sucks. We live in the Northeast. We're better than most of it. I would say that alone right there.

That's why we hate y'all, motherfuckers. Just so you know that shit. That's why we fucking hate y'all. That's why I say it. I know you guys say that. The only people I like are from Jersey. Because they feel bad. Because they're from Jersey.

I would say... I'm going to throw myself in the upper... Like, if we just split it down the middle. I think I'm on the good half. Okay. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

Because I think... If they kill half the country, you're alive. Yeah. It's like, alright. I'm probably the country, you're alive. Yeah. That's like, all right. I'm probably the bomb. Bad husband, good father. Like, good fucking entertainer, bad character. I don't know.

Everything is like, well, good but bad, good but bad, good but bad. I think I'm going to be in the middle. So you're saying that we're human. Yeah. Yeah, pretty much. So I'm going to be right at the 50% mark. Right there where it's like, you know, coin flip. So the next time the herd comes through, we out fast.

We're like the first death. I'll be like, y'all back already? It's been 15 years, man. Come on. Take a break. Where are you putting yourself, dude? I'm alive like a motherfucker. I'm living.

I'm living. Fuck yeah, I'm alive. I get around. I've seen some shit. So like, yeah. Yeah. I get around. I've seen some shit. So, like, yeah. Yeah, that is true. We've been in our bubble. You get out there and see some fucking shit.

I'm a lot better than a lot of you. Yeah. And that's not even cocky. That's just a fact. It's not even, yeah. And it's like, it's, and I'm a piece of shit, too. So, like, there's. I mean, there's murderers, rapists.

There's some terrible people. We're good. People that steal. Yeah, right? People that lie all the fucking time. I'm still at Hershey's Almond Bar once. But see, you still know what it's eating at. Yeah, you got to fucking...

Look, there's certain... Three Musketeers, too. You want to get anything else out while I'm fucking here? A pair of batting gloves. I ate some candy off the ground once before dinner for the longest time i was never much of a watch guy i didn't like having anything on my wrist i never wore any like bracelets i never wore any chains i didn't like any of that stuff and i wasn't gonna spend a ton of money on it i know i know i had buddies who were wasting tons of cash buying like thousands of dollars of watches trying to look good, look cool.

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15% off your order, free shipping, and free returns. Join the movement today. Yo, Fights KFC, Superdude from D.C. First time, long time. Anyways, so I'm a sophomore in college, and this weekend I had a girl over for the first time this semester. Now, I randomly chose her, and I don't have any other option. But anyways, I asked him. I was like, yo, is it cool if I have a girl over?

I'll be 20 minutes. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fine. Sure enough, call in this girl. I'm in my bed, you know, start cooking up, whatever the usual. I look over, and he hasn't left the room. He's just laying there with his headphones on. I'm like, this is fucking creepy. So I just casually text him

like, not trying to be a dick, but can you leave? So he got up and left. And then, I mean, I'm not going to act like I'm a freaking wizard in the bed. It was probably like 25 minutes and then we left. That's pretty good. I was going to say. I'll sign for that.

So anyways, the next morning, I wake up. All these text messages from this thing to like, I'm not scared of this kid. He's kind of just like a fat white kid, but I'm not like in tagging and tagging and tagging on these rants. I think I understand what you're saying. So, I mean, you've got roommates. This is like, this is part of the game.

I think on both sides. You got to get out. But I also think it's like who knows, maybe this guy does this all the time or maybe this guy's a dick all the time. It's kind of give and take. You're going to have to get the fuck out when someone else's girl comes by, but you also have to understand that it's going to

piss people off a little bit too. I think it's very simple. Right down the middle. Like you said, there's... I wouldn't have a problem if he just laid there with his headphones in. As soon as he said headphones, I was like, so who gives a fuck? I mean, probably the girl. If the girl's not saying shit, I won't say shit. I'll probably put on a motherfucking show.

You know what I mean? Like, ah, look at this shit, motherfucker. But I think y'all younger cats, and this is just what I've gathered, Motherfucker. But I think, I think y'all younger cats and I'm, and this is just what I've gathered. You guys really got to work on being direct and fucking directing your communication.

So be like, Hey bro, I'm having a girl over. I need you to leave. Right. Are you good with that? Not I'm having a girl over implication, implication,

take that as you will and do what you want. The point is to get the fuck out. You guys could have had that conversation. No, I'm gonna a girl over implication implication so take that as you will and do what you want the point is to get the fuck out you guys could have had that conversation nah I'm gonna chill here well I don't feel comfortable you know then you could hash that shit out so just work on being fucking direct

with this motherfucker well even the fact that even the fact that he texted him that's a very strong advice I mean he literally lives next to the guy and he texted him you know what I mean that right there is a red flag

yeah you couldn't just say it to him but that's that's part of the problem but in his defense there like it might freak the girl out if he's like texted him you know i mean that right there is a red flag yeah you couldn't just say it to him but that's that's but in his in his defense there like it might freak the girl out if he's like hey bro get the fuck going right right if she's so he's now he's trying to be like a ninja about the shit or fucking do you got a girl for my fucking roommate i used to do that i was always i was always a homie without a car so i'd always like i'd pull a chick at the mall and i'd be like hey bring a girl for my boy that's driving.

And he'd always get the better looking chick. Every fucking time, dude. Every goddamn time. I was like, I gotta get a license. It's ridiculous. I think we're gonna end on that note right there, bro. Not gonna get any higher than that. We appreciate it, man.

So, the books are hyena and hummingbird they've been out for a minute but if you haven't gotten on them they're timeless doesn't matter when you read them go reread them go buy them read them slow bro like read them like it's poetry like word for word you can't hyena legit it was the fastest i've ever read a book yeah so try to read it slow but i guarantee you bang that shit out in like a night. Or audible if you got that shit. Yeah, if you're lazy. Do you read it? Yeah, I read it. You got to get it. That's what's up.

Got to get it. Yeah. That's – if I ever write a book, I want you to do it. No way, man. You got a good voice, bro. Not like Angelini, man. Come on. Thank you, bro.

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