KFC Radio - You're Just Not Special At All Ft. Trevor Wallace

Episode Date: July 1, 2021

Subscribe, rate, share, and leave a review! barstool.link/KFCRADIO - Doctors don’t know sh*t - KFC and Feits rediscover friendship - Nobody is as special as they think they are rant - Am I The Asshole - Girlfriend is starving on family vacation - Wearing compression shorts at the gym - Voicemails: - Chickens vs Chimps (one of our new favorite voicemails) - Kidney stones vs broken bones - 01:11:33 Trevor Wallace on being mentally fucked up and Only Fans Let us know what you think on Twitter: @KFCRadio @KFCBarstool @Feitsbarstool @nickhammy5 @JNics415 @Joshua__dm @macczack21You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. So I get in the car at my house, I fight a chicken, and I kill it. I go to, like, CVS because I need garbage bags. I get them, I get back in the car, I gotta fight another chicken. It's been four minutes sinceFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. It's Feidelberg and Clancy. We've got Trevor Wallace on the show today.

We've got Am I the Asshole? We've got our voicemails. It's Feidelberg and Clancy. We've got Trevor Wallace on the show today. We've got Am I the Asshole? We've got our voicemails. It's still hot as shit, and the summer take has been one that I never envisioned being this big of a deal, but people are getting angry about it. It's honestly, it's actually a great example of why I just keep saying things,

because we've been, like we said, we've been saying it for years. For years. And it was always like, people agreed, or people were like, you know, it wasn't really a big thing. It is a massive deal. Nuclear.

That's why it's hard, though. It's like I don't like to do the same shit, but it's almost like you have to. Yeah. I mean, I went to the chiropractor the other day and I posted the pictures of he did x-rays so that there's all like the hardware in my body. So I just thought they were cool pictures. I posted them on Instagram and people were like, what? What is this? Like, you got to tell the story

I'm like I guess it's just like always new people coming in who don't know things that you just got to keep repeating but then I feel like an asshole was that story was that neck injury is that the wave or is that those sleepwalking it's all it's all I mean it's all over the years I mean the sleep walking was the shoulder and then the back

and then the neck I mean it all just degenerates from the wave just that that happened right yeah that was that was like The sleepwalking was the shoulder and then the back. And then, I mean, it all just degenerates. The wave. That happened, right? Yeah, that was like, so I had had shoulder surgery. And then I was body surfing. And then that's when it popped out the second time. I see. And then at that point, it dislocated.

I guess I'll just fucking tell that if people haven't heard it before. Yeah, so I was a freshman in college. Went sleepwalking. Dislocated my shoulder. Bading, dislocated my shoulder. Bad. Like, destroyed my shoulder. When I posted it on Instagram, my boy Terrence Ross, he's like the biggest fucking Barstool fan, Instagram user, loves One Minute Man. He's always talking about my shit.

He's like, yo, dude, did you get hit by a bus or what? And I was like, funny enough, that's what the doctor said. The doctor said to me, were you in a car accident or a football injury? I was like, neither, bud. Not even close. So, yeah, no, that was just sleep. That was a sleepwalk. I was sleeping.

And then dislocated my shoulder, tore it to pieces. I remember I actually, the first doctor I went to told me if we immobilized it, not like normal way on a sling, we immobilize it like this for like six months, I could have got away with no surgery. And I was like, okay, like that sounds a little weird and unorthodox. And I don't know if I want to just be like having my wing out there for six months. How do you sit in a car? How do you do anything? So I was like, I don't want surgery, but that sounds almost worse. I go to second doctor second opinion he was like all i had is no he's like are you crazy he's like i don't know who told you that but like that person shouldn't be a doctor you absolutely need surgery

your shit is shredded to pieces labrum rotator cuff tendons like all of it's gone so doctors are fucked up man doctors i think we give doctors too much respect i think i think most of you guys don't know good yeah i bet you like one in ten are worth it i mean think about any other profession it's probably the same right yeah some people are pretty good at it other people get by other people are just completely lost out there even if you're smart like you start to mail it in you know you don't care you're having a bad day you're in a bad year like whatever i didn't have it a bad day and it leads to like and then like someone coming in being like oh i'm sick like i don't fucking care if i had just took it if i had just taken one opinion, I'd be fucking walking around

with my wings sticking out for six months. I'd have done that shit. Yeah, I mean, I really didn't want surgery, but... I wouldn't have wanted to, but I would have been like, well, if you say so, doc. I was going to say, I definitely don't know why I got a second opinion,

and probably like my parents maybe, because I probably would have been like, doctor said so, I don't know what to tell you. Dude, like the surgery I had, I guess it was necessary, because they said like once they got in there it was even more fucked up than they thought like my shoulder and but like the i saw a doctor because it hurt to drive like i couldn't get my hand high enough to like to turn the wheel and that was the only reason where i was like well fuck this like i can't yeah it's fixed and i saw a doctor and

he's like i'll do surgery tomorrow i was like word and that was it like it was it wasn't quite tomorrow that's crazy it was like a few days yeah yeah i'm free it was it was i think i've said this before it was like it was like he's like yeah i'm free in like three days and i was like perfect and then three days later i just didn't yeah i don't think about things ever and it was halloween and like it was how i got on all hallows eve as a sophomore at florida state university i got an elective surgery you are an idiot i got picked up by my buddy in a rufio costume right he came in i was like bro you couldn't even pop on a shirt like he came in like with like the

the leather vest with no shirt under it and a red mo you couldn't have taken the mohawk off and you couldn't have put on a shirt like just put a jacket on over it none of this was necessary i thought i was on fucking drugs when i saw him first i was like what are you i was but dude bro i haven't told you i i think i've told this story before for just doing surgery stories by the time this is how I know I'm willing to die and ready because I just did. I've done it. You died? I have said lies that would lead to my death,

and I just didn't die. Yeah. You didn't want to admit there was drugs in your system, right? They were like, this will interact wrong with this drug. And I just didn't want to go back out and tell my dad that I had, if I walked out, I was like, they canceled surgery. He's like, why? Because I did coke last night.

But here's the thing. All of that shit – here's the other thing with doctors and the medical profession. Everything they tell you, you got to like take the square root of it or multiply it by like 100, one or the other. You know, when they're like, you can only take like two Advil. Like, I guarantee you can take like a hundred. So you need to pick the lowest possible dose that still has an effect so they don't get in any sort of trouble. You know what I mean?

I think it's a line in Scrubs when Dr. Cox is talking, JD, who's Zach Braff, is confused. He's worried about how much medicine to give to an old person. And he's like, it's ibuprofen. Open her mouth and throw a handful, whatever sticks is fine. Absolutely, man. Like 100%. It's like, especially when you know, it's like you can do a lot of drugs, right? Bad drugs.

So the good drugs that they sell in the store, you know, imagine being like, oh, my God, I took four instead of three. It doesn't fucking matter. All of that shit over the counter. Give me a break. But that's fucking hilarious that you had Rufio drop you off, man. Pick me up. Pick you up.

Pick me up. So you're like, that's what matters, too. It's like, you know, you need to make sure somebody can get home. They're like, this is your ride home? You know what I love for doing? Tell us your surgery stories. Tweet at us your favorite stories of going under the knife. When they give you the sedative, the sedation or whatever, the knock, the anesthesia.

Yeah. That, like, few seconds. When they, like, count down, like, why, man? Have you ever tried to fight it? I mean, I had so many surgeries that by, like, the sixth, I was like, all right, I'm going to see how far I can get this time. Because they always joke, like, count backwards from 100 and you get to, like, 98 if you're lucky, you know? Which is kind of scary. Because that means they do pump you with some shit. And they can put you

completely unconscious in two seconds. Like, you would think that it would be like, we're gonna ease you into this, so, like, count from 100 and by the time you get to, like, 50, you'll be done. It's like, 99. Yo, you just killed me. Like, what if? You know? But I remember fighting it. I had, I had, uh, I'm sorry, you go first. It was just like, I mean, I. Like, what if, you know? But I remember fighting it. I had – I'm sorry.

You go first. It was just like – I mean, I was like, 96. I was like, I got that. And they told me afterwards. They were like, you tried your hardest. You got to like – you almost got to 95. But I remember being like, I'm a pro here. I've done this many times before.

I know what – but that feeling, that's five seconds of pure bliss. If you can stay – it's so good and you're just like, I'm gone and might never wake up again yeah i i go like i'm asleep before they even give it to me i'm out cold they haven't even injected me i'm like like oh he's pretty deep i haven't done it yet i had an anesthesiologist and this is is, I think, one of the things I learned. I had an anesthesiologist whose name was Dr. Risk. He was a burly Russian. I had surgery on Christmas Eve. So, actually, this isn't from the E. coli story.

This is from my appendectomy. I've been in the hospital on Christmas a lot. And I had, like, an emergency appendectomy. And, like, the pre-op room was completely empty because no one scheduled. There's not a lot of emergency surgeries and no one schedules it for Christmas Eve. Right, right. So I'm laying in the pre-op by myself. And I can see it's kind of like one of those central desks.

I can see the nurse on duty. And I'm just kind of laying there waiting. I'm totally fine. I'm in a little bit of pain, but they got me on shit. And she gets on the megaphone or whatever it is you know the pa yeah and she's like uh she's like dr risk the patient is ready for the anesthesia paging dr risk and i was like she's gotta be fucking with me right like she's gotta just be having a little christmas eve fun you know double christmas eve shenanigans here right there's no totally what they do there's

no way that like The most dangerous part of the surgery And my doctor's name is Dr. Risk And I actually told this story very recently Because someone tweeted at me Being like I had that guy Dr. Risk

I mean sort of Sort of Dr. Death You can't have a worse name For what is Like you said The scary The does Anesthesiologists are like so high paid

They show up They're like Boop Like push a button Put a needle and. That's it. It's easy peasy. But it's like, you could kill me. Yeah.

You take on all the risk. But if you're good at it, it's the easiest job in the world, right? It's like, yeah, I can do this all fucking day long. But you have a bad day as an anesthesiologist. You're fucking done. You're going to jail. Dude. Or, I don't know, maybe some kid lies to you about what's in his system.

And you don't adjust the medication for it dude that's crazy that you could have just killed yourself and the fact that they they don't like like they really shouldn't take your word for it i mean i i told them the truth it wasn't like i'd done the night before i told them the truth uh well i didn't tell them the truth i told them i'd done it it was further away than it was yeah that's not that's lying that's why i stretched the truth and did the time frame uh did they believe the time frame meant it would be out of your system? Yes, they did. No, because they knew.

The only reason they knew was I told them. They don't want to test you. Right, but I'm saying you told them it was how many days? I told them it was two weeks. Yeah. And it was what, one day? No, it was a couple of days. Because I was going to say.

Actually, honestly, it might have even been a week. I probably just added a week. And it was because i was gonna say actually honestly it might even been a week i probably had a week and i was like i was like they're like are you sure and i paused and like yes and then i was just like all right whatever happens happens let's fucking ride baby roll these dice man and then you got uh rufio picking you up they must have been like this fucking cokehead and his dumb friends. What an asshole. That's a real friend, though. A friend who will come on Halloween.

He's out there as Rufio having a grand old time, and he's like, I've got to go pick up this dumbass who scheduled surgery for one of the funnest days of the year when you're in college. Just because I didn't think. I could have just done November 2nd. You could have waited a couple days. He's got to do October 31st. He's like, yeah, I'm good in three days. I could have just done November 2nd. You could have waited a couple days. He's got to do October 31st. He's like, yeah, I'm good in three days.

I was like, perfect, me too. That is a real friend, which we just learned this week. Apparently nobody has any more friends. Men don't have friends anymore. Science says, brought to you by Cuts Clothing, if you need a comfortable shirt to get through the summertime, Cuts Clothing's got you covered. A lightweight cotton shirt that fits you right and looks stylish,

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Yes, it really is. CutsClothing.com slash Clancy. So science says that, what is it like? I'm pulling it up right now. That's what I was looking up earlier. So I have a screenshot of a tweet I saw. I do that and I forget about them. But this one I remembered.

So Americans have fewer friends. Excuse me. I just had a humongous Mediterranean bowl of beef shawarma. I just ate so much beef shawarma. What is beef shawarma? And yogurt. It's crazy. That is downright vile.

I just ate it. I was starving. I don't even know what it is. It might be delicious. But if you tell me you have a belly full of beef shawarma. And yogurt. And yogurt. That's all going to come out of you, bro.

Tzatziki sauce. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. Americans have fewer friends than they used to. 15% of men and 10% of women have zero close friends. So in night, this is a study done. Yeah, zero.

So this was done in uh in so they did it in 1990 and they did a follow-up in 2021 in 1990 uh three percent of men had zero close friends we're up to 15 15 of people so lucky 15 of people don't have anybody to worry about don't have any fucking friends they have to to look after do things with. I wish I had zero close friends. In 1990, 40% of men had 10 or more friends. No, they didn't. Well, so this is, I guess here's the question here is, is how do you define a friend? Friend, you got to define close friend, you got to define best friend.

Is it like someone you like turn to when you like need something or someone you're honest with? Well, in that case, I have zero close friends there are there's like a barometer of there's there's certain like social things like in pop pop culture why are we both like burping like weirdos i don't know i don't have a belly full of beef shawarma yeah actually i know my answer yeah i don't know what's wrong with me i just wolf down a lot like you know the things of like who would you drive to the airport who would you help move all that kind of shit yeah i have a lot of those people but like like i got i don't think that's the real definition to me what you just said i have there's one friend maybe two that i will

tell like the god's honest truth to when i want to by the way like most times i'll still lie but if i really need to tell the truth when i I'm in a jam, when I'm down bad, when I have something serious, there's one person I will go to that's like... You know what? That's not true, though. I could go to you. There's family, and I have you, and then I have one

friend that's just a friend that I met through life. Not through work, not through family, just through the course of life that I could tell the real real truth now like like we're talking different and true this year because like like if i was in a pinch i have plenty of people i go i go you i go i got friends where i'm like i need help right but like if i'm like so i so the reason i'm saying it this way is i got in a fight last night with like my best friend on the planet and he was like dude you said you were fine like what are you talking about last week uh-huh and i was like well yeah i lied

yeah like that wasn't telling you the truth you week? And I was like, well, yeah, I lied. Yeah, of course. I wasn't telling you the truth. You want me to be vulnerable with you? Well, that's not going to happen. No. If that's what we're defining close friends, someone you're vulnerable with, zero. That's what I mean. I have a ton of great guys that I've met that we could go out right now and pick right up.

We could go have a blast. We could have a great convo. I would help him. He would help me. But if you're talking about like showing the real fucking you and like, yeah, being vulnerable, being open, like telling, you know, sharing like your weaknesses or your moments of like failure and shit.

I still got fucking Neanderthal brain. I got like, what if one day we got to fight each other and I tell him my weaknesses? He knows I'm a pussy. Yeah, I can't cry in front of this guy. I keep this shit what if one day we got to fight and kill each other and I tell him my weaknesses? He knows I'm a pussy. Yeah. I can't cry in front of this guy. I keep this shit secret. Yeah, man.

This is why we're so fucked up. This is why. This is why. I mean, it's so. What society has done to guys is fucked up. Also, I have like. If vulnerability is the scale, then I have like hundreds of thousands of close friends. Because I'm actually pretty vulnerable.

I'm the most vulnerable into this microphone. Yeah, but that's different. If we're talking on a phone or like a – You don't see them. They're not here, you know. You're right. The people who listen to this know me way better than 99% of my friends. They're that one guy.

There's only the one guy who knows me because they don't listen. You know what I mean? Right. Like my friends want to know about me. I'm like, just listen to the episode. You'll catch up quicker. Yeah, you only have nine years to catch up. You know what's fucking fun I'm thinking about right now?

I wonder – and actually, you know, I don't think it's actually as bad. I'm just wondering, like, in the – through a Frank Reynolds lens, what's the devolution look like? The devolution of what? Us. Over the nine-year run of KFC Radio. Yeah. I think about things literally in the sense of there was a time where I was blogging and posting videos from the Hamptons and Jersey Shore about how awesome summer is. And now I physically can't stand summer. So there's that type of shit.

There's us as a sports fan. There's us as what we find funny. I'm just talking about deranged brain. Yeah, but that all kind of goes into it where it's like i think that i'm more deranged now because of all those things that have just changed like it's it's also just like you know life is like you're standing on the shore and the waves are just hitting you you know what i mean and so when you're 15 the waves they're having that many waves you know and when you're 35 there are a lot more fucking waves that have hit you and eventually you're like fuck these waves so you know there's

a lot of shit that can go on in nine years that yeah i think we're just that much more but at the same time i bet we're like pretty fucking consistent i i would think so i i think it's like i i don't think my like mental state has devolved that i think my brain is pretty like i think it's always been what it is you know what i bet it is i bet our brains have always been the same and listeners have known like exactly what we are and who we are and we are just like arriving to it now we're just figuring it out yeah like if we're like any doctor could listen to episode one and be like yes yeah it's gonna be a rough road ahead of you but like that time that i was like i think i i think i'm depressed and you're like yeah dude no kidding like that i think if we if

we were to like tell the audience what we think we are they would be like yeah we knew that in 2014 you know i bet that's the case i bet it's like we're the last ones in on the on the joke or whatever you know but would you would you want more friends no see i do like but like i don't want friends i don't i don't want friends i want friends in 1960 i don't want friends in what the current i don't want friends with the mental health shit what's that i don't want the friends under this mental health wave i don't want friends to like worry about me and talk to me and want to help me no no that's what i'm saying i'm saying. I don't want them to text me. I just want to hang out with friends. Right. I want someone

that I occasionally can see. I have friends who it's like... In my town that I'm going to invent in Stepping Stone, Vermont, there will be no cell phone towers. There will be none. You can't not have the internet. Nope, not doing it. You can't not have the internet in Stepping Stone. It's a little fucking... Back to the

good old days. No, can we have internet with no cell service? Sure. You can't contact me. We'll get a satellite. Yeah, I want to go on the internet, but I don't want you to be able to contact me. Yeah. And I don't want, like, I have friends that it's like, I'm going to get together with you for a beer,

and when we leave, it's like, yeah, I'll catch you soon, man. It's like, I'll see you in a year and a half. And we both know it, and it's okay that way and then there's the friends who god bless them they want me out more and they want to hang with me and they call me up and they're asking how I am and it's like dude I don't want to do this right now I don't like to talk about

any of this and I certainly don't want to do it with you you know I want to have fun with you right now like I want to I don't want to do the life shit I want to do the non life shit yeah I want to do the life shit. I want to do the non-life shit. Yeah, I want to do the life shit once we're blackout. Sure. Then we can cry together.

Like men do. We get vulnerable and we can't remember it. Isn't that funny? It's like guys will be the most closed off, closed off, closed off, closed off. And then if you get there, though, then we're the biggest pussies ever. But we just rarely ever get to that stage. I have the best crew of friends, monster like number, tons of them. Probably I owe almost like my career to them because I feel like –

and I wonder if like everybody feels this way. It's like I think I have the funniest friends in the world. Like I'm sure everybody feels that way about their friends, right? Because you wouldn't be friends with them if you weren't laughing and having a good time with them. But I'm like I think I like my sense of humor was molded by them and the way I talk and, like, I compiled all of our stories and retell them. Like, the reason I can do all this is because I was around them all the time.

But also, like, we're good. Like, you just don't have to put, like, pressure on it or whatever. You know what I mean? Like, I feel like when you get older, it's like, dude, we haven't seen each other. We got to. Oh, remember the old days when we used to do this? It's like, yeah, but it's just not that anymore. But that's okay.

You know? It's like now we're just friends in a new stage in life, and that's all good. Yeah. This is a reckless talking. But you still call them close friends. Yes. Yeah. I mean, if I'm, you know, I think about the number of guys I had in, like, my wedding party.

I think I had, like, eight dudes who were, like, I had because I've moved around a bunch, too. So I was like, these two guys from when I was a kid, these two guys from high school, these two guys from college, these two guys from New York, Pennsylvania. But, like, there was, you know, eight guys, and I probably could have made it, like, 10 or 12 that I was like, these are all all people I I think my rule was kind of like I've lived with you before you know if I've like been your roommate or known you for like 25 years but you know there are guys still like keeping regular contact with all yeah I mean again these now like as we get older and kids and shit like I mean and I'm I'm bad at it like I fell off probably more than most of my friends but these are guys that if I did like text or like want to get together with or whatever we could pick right back up there's nobody that like i have probably

like 10 guys that i wouldn't feel have an awkward like so how you been like oh this is weird we have to like tell each other about our lives it would just be like what up dude you know what i mean get right back into it i i was at a wedding party and i wasn't even wedding party i was the best man in a wedding let's call it seven years ago. I think I've talked to the groom three times since. But do you consider it a falling out? No, really. Honestly, it might not even be falling out.

I might have left his wedding and spoken to him once. It's sad, but it's also – Give him a speech at said wedding. And then never see him again. It's sad if you let it be, it's only sad if – Give him a speech at said wedding. And then never see him again. It's sad if you let it be, I feel like. You know what I mean? I got a wedding coming up in August that it's a dude who, if he got married, like when I got married, I'm pretty sure I would have been his best man. And now, like, I haven't – I don't know his girl that well because I just haven't been around for their relationship much because I got my own kids and my own divorce and scandals and all sorts of shit. And so I don't know her as much.

So I don't think he would make me his best man because it's like I barely even know the girl and all that. That speech? Met the bride once. Well, maybe I will be there. I don't know. But I just – to me, it's like it's not like – it's only sad if you let it be. It's only sad if you are really desperately holding on to what your friendship used to be rather than – it's like when you were a kid, your friends were the guys you rode bikes with.

When you're older, your friends are the guys you crush beers with and chase chicks with. Now when you're an adult, your friends are the guys that you hang out at the pool with both of your kids. And when you're an old man, it's like, you know, I don't know what that'll be. It's like we're the friends that we go to the fucking, our chemo together or something because we're dying. I don't know. You know what I mean? You have these stages of friendship. I heard chemo.

I don't know why. I was picturing anime. I pictured it spelled K-I-M-O. Bonk. And then I was just picturing. Oh, wait, I'm getting bonked. I was thinking a hentai. I pictured it spelled K-I-M-O. Bonk. And then I was just picturing. Oh, wait. I'm getting bonked. I was thinking of hentai.

I bonk me. You were just thinking of cartoons. I was thinking of porn. I was just like, oh. I was like, what? Is that a thing all people like? Kimo? It could work.

I could see like there's a Dragon Ball Z character named Kimo. Yeah, definitely. I think it's because Rudy and I were talking about Too Fast, Too Furious earlier. We were talking about Suki. Suki Kimo? Rudy has a real thing for Suki. Suki, almost all letters are there. So it's almost like an anagram of sorts. Wow, look at this guy.

You have an anagram on the show. Yeah, we'll be friends forever, right? Yeah, we have to. But what would be funny? Otherwise, we'd be poor. What would happen? We could just mic and mic it. What kind of friends would we be?

What if we stopped doing this? What if we get our money somehow? We're like, you know what? This is done. Not like there's a bad breakup. We're just like, we don't want to do this anymore. Would we stay in contact? Or would it be like, I'll talk to you in a few months?

I would guess. Like the way that I do it. I had best friends, guys that I lived with, that I'll catch up with months here and there. Go by. Maybe. My best friend maybe twice a year. Probably, yeah. Isn't that weird?

Like, okay, now we're done, so we'll just be regular guys and I'll talk to you at Christmas or whatever. Yeah. It would be even harder with you because my best friends, I just see when I'm home. I see them at the holidays. Yeah. Well, but I feel like there's times where I won't text you because I'm like, oh, I'm going to wait

for the show. Yeah. Or like, I don't need to see him. I'll see him on the... And then if we didn't, it would just... We would just go back to like,

I don't know. Yeah, I'll talk to you when I talk to you. Yeah. But also when we talk, I got called to you the other night. We just talked for like an hour.

Yeah, yeah. It's always like you talk for like... You have like one point and then like other shit comes up. Yeah. Which I think is friendship.

Yeah, yeah. think it's friendship yeah yeah but i i it's almost like we're just rediscovering friendships like there are so many people for one quick note and then we talk for an hour bro this is again there are probably fans and doctors listening being like these fucking guys they are so fucked because what's crazy is i feel like we are pretty uh i guess, progressive or advanced or like we are open and emotional and like, you know, the beta boys joke sort of thing. Yeah. And so I think we're actually pretty like open in some ways, but I think we are closed off like a motherfucker in other ways. So I don't even know where we fall to think that we might be – if we are like examples of like what's actually kind of good,

then I mean I can't even imagine some of these other guys out here. Wouldn't hope that on anybody. Yeah, I mean yikes. But you know what? Sign me up for that 15%. Zero close friends. Nobody to worry about. I love it.

Less friends, less fights. I got in a fight with a friend the other day because he sent me a song and he was saying that it is like our friend and he's like he's like isn't this so much like this girl and who like we know and i'm just sick of those and like you only hear that from friends like this song is me yeah oh when anything that's like that's that's so us that's so me that's so him her whatever and like you can do it in a joking sense. So here's the deal. I'm sick of it, okay?

I'm tired of this fucking this is me shit because you can do it, like, jokingly. And you can acknowledge, like, oh, we have some similarities. I'm relating to this art. But when people are like, is it this so much? Yeah, that's the fucking point of the song. He sent me the new Dropkick Murphys song, and it was, it's,

I don't remember. Oh, oh, oh, the Queen of Suffolk County, and Boston and Suffolk County. And by the way, real quick side note here, Dropkick Murphys, I wonder if they,

if they like what their celebrity is, because it's so local that like everyone else is like fuck that yeah but you always have that fan base built in sure i but i'm sure it's like i wish that someone in california would listen to us too you don't have to hate us just because we have the one song about boston but also you do always have that core you can like they'll play at the at the td bank garden forever yeah yeah yeah um But anyway, it's like, they're like, he's like, isn't it so much like her? And I'm like, well, why? Why is it so much like her?

He's like, dude, she loves Jameson. I'm like, yeah. And it's like, and it was like, she fights sometimes. And I'm like, yeah. That's everyone. That's the point of the song. That's why it's popular. That's everyone in Boston.

That's every 20-year-old girl. Any song that gets popular and reaches the masses, it's going to have a lot of appeal to a lot of people. The human experience is not as unique as you think it is. We're all just the fucking same with little things. I saw the other day, I think Rosebud put it up. It was like Virginia, and it was like how to speak you good in Virginia, or how to speak English in Virginia. It was like, you good? And it was like all these things. Yeah, you good, you good, you good means How to speak you good in Virginia How to speak English in Virginia And it was like all these things You good you good you good means like are you good

Do you need help I'll see you later Do people from Virginia think that's a Virginia thing Virginia claiming you good It's a bit much That means are you okay And you good that means like you don't have to worry about it You good meaning like you're looking down There's a million you goods.

That's just. People just are so fucking tribal, and they think that they're special. And you're just not. You're just not special at all. That voice and that exact statement is plucked straight from your college's four-year funeral. And then once you get your college school diploma that's it's dead and then you go to college for four years and that's the funeral that's the funeral for your dreams you don't want to talk about how much we've changed or not like i don't think you've

changed a a speck when it comes to that that you're just not you're just not i mean that was that was speidelberg from 2014 it doesn't matter where you're from it doesn't matter what you look like it doesn't matter what you like it's are the same. Yep. It's so true. You are so not special. It's fucking crazy. I see that, man. A band as esteemed as the Dropkick Murphys would write a song about you? What are you, sick?

Bro, the amount of people who, especially probably during dating where it's like you're not different. You're not special. I mean I used to say for guys – there's guys and there's girls. There's guys who are like, not my girl, bro. That's not going to happen to us, man. It's like, yeah, you have found the one girl throughout the history of humanity that your relationship is going to be different. And then you have the girls who are like, I need to find the right guy who fits me. You know what I mean?

It's any guy. He just can't keep up with me. It's absolutely any you're you're just being a bitch that's what's happening and you're gonna settle at some point and like that's it we all just end up settling for what like kind of fits the best and then you deal with whatever cliches and stereotypes unfold because we're all just humans we're all just humans doing the same fucking shit, man. I mean, how many times have we said it? You're not special. Be normal, mediocre, average, male. It's just you're not. Or very, very few. You're like a professional athlete.

If you're all these things that are top 1%, then maybe. The rest of you, you're all the same. And you're so easily readable that someone in a studio, be it a music studio or a television or film studio, can write you knowing that you'll go, that's me. This is why people believe in psychics and shit. They're like, how could you know that? It's like because everyone has some issues with their dad. Because the last six women that walked in are the same. You're all the same.

I looked at your clothes. I looked at your outfit. They were all wearing the same J.Crew romper and the same fucking pumps and the same Louis Vuitton bag. We see it on the Instagram. And they fucking came in here. Every month,

there's an Instagram where it's like they zoom in on the girls. They're all wearing like white sneakers. They're all wearing like brown boots. And it's not just guys.

Sure. I look like 95% of people in this office right now. It's a lot of the flannel shirts. Everyone's a stereotype. The way they look, so you know the way they talk and the way they act. And I can write a song having never met you, and you'll think it's about you because you're that fucking cliche.

Cliche, yeah. It's crazy. Although I will say, the first time, I don't think I truly related to a song Until I was a full blown adult The first time that you're listening to a song That's about heartache Or hardships or struggles or whatever And you're like oh There's a

The KFC radio calendar thing The one where I was like I wish I could just relate to Flo Rida The only thing I wish That struck a chord with me is Flo Rida songs Because I think I listened to The Taylor Swift album for the first time and I was like, oh, this is heart-wrenching because I know what she's talking about. But up until that point, I was like, none of these – I just like the beat and I like the fucking words because I don't know. When you can actually relate to some real songs, it's like, oh, fuck. Dude.

Yeah, this sucks. I think mine was – never mind. Never mind. You know what? Leave that in too. Just – say it. You got to say it now. It's Adam's song.

I vividly remember being on a – oh, my God. On a fucking – I was going to the Greenbrier in West Virginia. I was on a shuttle bus at an airport, and I was listening to Take Off Your Pants and Jacket or whichever album it was. I forget. And Adam's song came on, and I was like – Yeah, this is the jam. This is the one. I get it.

And my second one, I know my second one too. It's Simple Plan Addicted. I'm a dick. I'm addicted to you. Wait. Hang on. What are the lyrics to Addicted? There's one where it's like – Look that up right now because we're about to do Am I the Asshole gonna what are the lyrics to a dick there's one where it's like

oh wait up right now because we're about to do am I the asshole and you are the asshole if a simple plan addicted to you is like yours your fucking song you are an asshole we're gonna find out who's an asshole here brought to you by Miller Lite uh you know part of being friends too is is sitting down telling stories and and finding out you know like like like when you're when you're doing that by the asshole it's like you go to the internet you go to your friends you go to your people to find out who's wrong here you tell the story you want your friends to back you up sometimes your friends gotta tell you man you're the one being the asshole it's stories like that that you got to share over an ice cold beer uh an ice cold mill light to be precise

because when when you are telling the the, when you're talking about the hardships, when you're talking about the wild tales, whether they're funny or scary or just out of control, it's got to be done over a beer because you need that safety blanket. You got your Miller Lite there to go through all the crazy shit in life

and you can kick back, have some laughs at your friend's expense, all with a nice cold Miller Lite. Only 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Brewed in Milwaukee, Wisconsin from the Miller Brewing Company. Always celebrate responsibly, of course. But you can also go to MillerLite.com slash KFC to find the delivery options near you.

Light beer with great taste since 1975, man. So I would have guessed even longer. 1975. I feel bad for anybody who's, you know, prior to that. 1975, man. So I would have guessed even longer. 1975. I feel bad for anybody who's, you know, prior to that. Our grandfathers didn't have a chance to enjoy Miller Lite. No. They had the cool tops, though.

Actually, probably in the 70s they had the cool tops. So we, like, pulled the full thing off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The actual pop tops. Yeah. But, man, think about, you know, you came back from World War II and you couldn't even have a Miller Lite. Ain't that a fucking shame? So think about it.

You're lucky enough to be alive and be of drinking age during the Miller Lite era, so take advantage of it. Go to MillerLite.com slash KFC and get your Miller Lite today. What are these links? It's actually not. It's just like – Not as bad as what? Honestly, it's not even like – I think it was just like the voice of it that really – because like I wasn't like heartbroken as a child. Or not even a child. That came later. Like young teens like nobody like a heartbroken bike from a woman

and so like i think it's just i'm a dick that's what i got like because i'm a dick yeah and also i have a very addictive personality so i do just get addicted to people so maybe i was just thinking about i don't even know what girl it would be but it was i don't know there was there was someone apparently in my life that made me feel that uh no she left me and it really it really i mean i'm trying to forget that i'm addicted to you but i want it and i need it i'm addicted to you now it's over can't forget what you said and i never want to do this again. Heartbreaker. Wow, you really hit that last one there.

Wow. When's the album coming out, bro? You got to start making, you got to drop some singles, bro. Some singies. It's a fucking hot song, man. It's a good song. Listen, we got to know by the asshole for the ages right here. This one kind of went like – this one went viral.

11,000 retweets. I don't know why. I just started to think it's a kickoff. Whoosh. All right. And I think it's a clear-cut one. This might even be fake, to be honest. That's how crazy it is, one of these written ones.

But I'm going to see – I want to can if you can argue the other side of it how about that perfect hello that's weird to start this off with hello my girlfriend myself my parents and my brother and his wife all went on vacation in another country a week ago my brother and i were the ones who did most of the planning of the itinerary although we did ask for everyone's input for a background i make around 150 000 an IT consultant. My girlfriend is a teacher making $45,000. My parents are pretty affluent as well as is my brother

and sister-in-law. My girlfriend knew this trip was coming up and took on a second job waitressing on the weekends for several months to get ready for it. We have always split things

50-50 in the two years that we've been together. There was a few times on the vacation when she did not want to go on outings with us. Wine tasting, scuba diving, etc. She also would only eat two

meals a day, simply stating that she was on a budget. My family does favor more high-end places. My parents thought it was very strange that she only eats two meals a day, although she normally eats three. When we got home, I asked her why she skipped out on several of the outings and only ate two meals a day.

I mentioned how I heard her stomach growling one night and she said I was concerned. She said I was concerned about having an. Oh, and said I was concerned about her having an eating disorder. She got teary eyed and said that three meals a day wasn't fiscally feasible for her. And neither were the outings that she chose not to go on. She went on three of six outings. She said she was not expecting everything to cost so much and she was overwhelmed she also said she doesn't know if this is going to work out long term if she's expected to go on vacations like that with people who make so much more than her i feel bad that i did not pick up on her

discomfort sooner but we did agree to split everything 50 50 and i don't know why she agreed to come if cost was the issue am Am I the asshole for inviting her? Okay, so what's – I actually – You don't think this guy's the asshole? I don't think that – I think the parents are the asshole. Yeah, I'm down with that. I think everybody in this family can be the asshole. Yeah.

I think she's also the asshole. I think everyone's the asshole here. How about that? Bro think everybody in this family can be the asshole. Yeah. I think she's also the asshole. I think everyone's the asshole here. How about that? Bro, if you – why is she the asshole? Because you fucking put it on a show. Yeah. Like, just fucking – you know I have money. Come to me and be like, hey, can you get my dinner?

Like, what are you talking about? We're on vacation with my parents. First of all, the parents are the dick. If you're a parent and you want your adult children to come on vacation and like – I don't know. Maybe I'm just thinking for me. But like when I go to my parents, I always offer pay. And it's like shut the fuck up. You're my kid.

I'm the parent. Your parents pay. And I get everyone's not like – A vacation is a little bit different. But yes, for the most part, you think parents are going to be helping or involved or want us. Like on vacation, I'll sneak a bill or I'll sneak a bar tab or something like that. But they don't ready me paper things. And I get that not every family does that.

But it sounds like they're affluent. So it's like you would think the parents would step up. I mean, now here's the thing. You're eating two meals a day. Your stomach's not growling at night to the point that you can fucking, you know, you don't have hunger pangs to the point that the people in the hotel with you can hear it. So this girl had a, this girl fucking probably had to take a nasty dump is what fucking happened. I mean, like, you know. You didn't have any disorder to watch this shit.

Watch all this food I'm about to expel. It's been in my gut. I got a belly full of beef macraw what is it beef shawarma shawarma is not that crazy i don't know i've never heard of that my wife it's it's it's like uh it's it's having a moment um watermelon salads and beef shawarma there you go brussels sprouts are out i feel like this dude uh clearly he's like he doesn't have a good relationship with his girlfriend if she can't be like, yo, dude, this is too much money. Can you help me out?

There's no fucking communication or anything there. But then to – he kind of knows it almost. He's like, I wish I picked up on her discomfort sooner. I feel like if you ask these questions, you know the answer. Bro, if you're not picking up on someone's discomfort, you're the most narcissistic person in the world. Discomfort is the only thing you can walk into a room and feel. And know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess elation you can too. I guess you can feel it world. Discomfort is the only thing you can walk into a room and feel. And no. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I guess elation you can too. I guess you can feel it all. But discomfort is the clearest one. Right. Is there a reason? What's wrong? You can walk into a room and go, what's wrong? Yes, you just feel it.

You know someone's uncomfortable. You just feel the fuck out. And it sounds like this guy knows the reason too. It's like, what's wrong? It's like, oh, yeah, you're starving yourself to death because our vacations are too fucking lavish for you. And also, like, splitting things doesn't apply to vacations, I don't think. I think splitting things applies to normal household stuff. And then extravagant things, that falls on the person who makes more money.

Yeah, I was going to say, and I don't know if this is just a guy thing from you know years of just like the the norm but if we plan a vacation i might not be like i need to pay for the whole thing but i am certainly not thinking she has to pay her way no you know what i mean like like there was definitely a time where it the conversation would be like can we afford this this? You know what I mean? It would never be like, you got to – all right, we're going to do a vacation. So get half out. You know what I mean? Yeah. You had to pick up a second job?

Yeah. I mean, that's – it's like – so for like six months leading up to this vacation, you're like not seeing your girlfriend as often and not picking up on the fact that she's working a second job just to make enough money to go on this week-long getaway with you. Dude, I would not let my girlfriend get a second job if she was a teacher strictly because I imagine the second job she's getting is a fucking waitress. And now all I have to hear about is how bad the kids were and how – And the – yes. Oh, you wouldn't know unless you work in the service. They didn't even pick me. You didn't work in the service industry.

You don't fucking know. No, you need to pick up a third job as a nurse. And then you're – then you're set. unless you work in the service. You didn't even tip me? Yes. You didn't work in the service industry. You don't fucking know. No, you need to pick up a third job as a nurse. And then you're set. Then you've got it all. Everything covered. The service industry, the education system, and the health care system. You got it all. Trifecta, babe.

Yeah. That connects to what we were saying before. We're like, everyone's the same? Yeah. No, you met a shitty person today. I fucking get it. Absolutely. Yeah. I understand understand like most of the people you're ever going to encounter gonna suck you can't trust someone who never worked first of all we all work in the service industry we're fucking millennials we know what it's like everybody's dealt with it man

but the uh so yeah i would not allow that i'll pay i'll pay for everything yeah just but but i do i would go work i do i I bet you most normal girls would never – like the way I was like at the very least I'm paying for my half and probably the whole thing. I bet you there are plenty of girls who are thinking like, you're paying for my vacation. In this situation? Almost in any situation.

Yeah, I would think so. Yeah. It's just the way it goes. The same way when you go out to dinner. The same way when you – there are just certain things that are still kind of ingrained in society. It's definitely changing. If we're going on vacation with my family and they're not picking up the bill, then I'm picking up the bill. It's like your thing.

Right. Yeah. And I would almost expect – but again, I don't know. And then I would expect if I went with her family, I would probably very much make – you know when you make a sincere offer to pay the bill and an insincere offer? Yeah. If I was – like if I'm going with her family, I would expect that like they are the ones who are planning and paying more. But I'm going to make a like legitimate offer to put my half down. Like I said, I'm definitely going to sneak at least a few things. Yeah, yeah.

Like I'll get up and I'll fucking get in the car and love that move. Yeah, but again, chicks don't know the rush of that. Chicks don't do that. How many times does a chick – No, I did it at the bar yesterday. How many times do chicks get up to go to the bathroom and pay the bill? Never do that. It's great.

That feeling when you go, all right, let's go, and they're like, we haven't paid the bill yet, and you just keep walking. You don't make a deal out of it? No. It's the best. I used to do that in Tallahassee. Fucking the student union. It was a Chili's. And I had a fucking – I had one of the like advanced student cards

like you can you could put money on it and pay at Chili's it doesn't just work at the thing I had like a couple hundred bucks a semester at like Chili's

so you're a big baller at Chili's paying everybody I forget if it was at Chili's or Applebee's it was one of those and I would like take girls there

and I would be like let's get some margaritas let's do this and I was like alright let's get out of here like it was it was I took care of it girl

100% like at a Chili's it worked so you might Like, it was – I took care of it, girl. It was 100%. Like, at a Chili's it worked. Right. So you went out to work at a fucking steakhouse. Oh, it's amazing. I could fucking come just from that. It's so good. And when they go like, oh, you beat me.

I was going to do it. It's like, yeah, you motherfucker. I got you. I'll let you pretend. That's fine. Yeah, right, right, right. Totally. Or if it's another guy, it's like, oh, yeah, you were going to, but you're like –

your broke ass wasn't fast enough. I thought about it before you because you're broke. All right. Second, am I the asshole? And we'll get into our voicemails. Am I the asshole for wearing compression shorts to the gym? Hi there. I recently moved to a new city and joined a local gym.

I've always worked out in my apartment before, but this new apartment does not have one, so I joined a local quote-unquote chain gym. When I work out, I usually wear compression shorts and a T-shirt, mostly because I find that the most comfortable for the type of exercises I do. However, a couple weeks after joining, I had a woman come up to me and tell me I need to put pants on. This wasn't a gym staff, but just another member. I asked her if there was any rule or dress code that specified that. She said she didn't know, but that I was exposing myself, which is inappropriate. For the record, my compression shorts are not translucent or anything. They are a gray heather or black fabric, depending on the pair. What she is referring to, though, is my bulge, which obviously is visible when wearing compression shorts. I told her I don't believe there's any issue with my shorts and put my headphones back in. A couple weeks later, I had a different woman

come up to me and do something similar. She came up to me and asked, are you going to put some pants on, dude? To which I told her I was wearing shorts. The gym itself hasn't taught me about this. Okay, here's the deal. You're absolutely an asshole. You're also a revolutionary. Most revolutionaries are assholes, and this guy's one. You're both. You're fucking filling up two cups. It's a fine line, man.

It is. It's a fine line between revolutionary and asshole. Sometimes you've got to stand up for a hero who you think is an asshole, but whatever. I'm a guy who— Do you want to wear the compression shorts out? No, I don't want to wear them, but I just want people to see, like, hey, don't look at my fucking bulge. Right, right. Why don't you just fucking look somewhere else?

Yeah. That's what I think when I see your fucking titties out. I was going to say, when you're wearing the fucking, like, leggings to the gym, it's like I'm supposed to work out with that ass in my face? Yeah, when I – You're all – every girl has an ass now. You're all squatting and fucking thrusting and putting your asses out there. I mean, there's so many pairs of fucking leggings that, like, look, I could give you a fucking vaginal exam. If an OBGYN could come here and diagnose you with fucking chlamydia,

then, like, that's how tight some of them are. So I've seen fucking vaginas just eat in pants. And so, like, I look away. I look my eyes. I see it. I acknowledge it. I look away. Tiddy city. Guess what? I've stopped by there a time or two, but I move on right away. It's just a quick pit stop. That's what you have

to do when you've got a cock in your face. Yeah, and it's rare enough that it's not like titty-citty for us. I'm trying to look away, but I found some more. You've got one cock you can't look at at the gym. There's one. Everybody else has their cock put away.

Just don't look at this one dude's dick. It makes a lot of sense. Now, here's a question. Do you think this guy's got a great dick or a bad dick? He has to have a good dick. He has to lot of sense. Now, here's a question. You think this guy's got a great dick or a bad dick? He has to have a good dick. Right? He has to because he's showing it off. And I think that maybe that's why these girls, if you were to have maybe an exit interview after this gym session, say, why don't you just look away?

They'd say, we fucking couldn't. Couldn't possibly. We couldn't. It was a guy from Netflix. This thing was the compression short. Couldn't even fucking hold it down. Okay? So this guy has to be one of these dudes. I mean, we've seen it before. The guy with the 15-inch penis from Netflix. This thing was – the compression short couldn't even fucking hold it down. Okay? So this guy has to be one of these dudes.

I mean, we've seen it before. The guy with the 15-inch penis from Europe. What does he wear? Biker shorts. These guys who have the piece, they show it off. Yeah, girls with good boobs wear this fucking – They show it off. Good boobs.

And you know what they say? You know what they say? They're always like, these are my good years. I got to show it off while I've got them. Well, I don't know. All of this, they just say they're proud of their bodies. Right. This guy's fucking proud of his piece.

Proud of his cock. Nothing wrong with that. And you know what? As a matter of fact, it sounds like he's just trying to work out. Sounds like he's not even of their bodies right that's fucking proud of his proud of his cock and you know what as a matter of fact sounds like he's just trying to work out and sounds like he's not even thinking about sexually he doesn't even want to show off his cock he wants to show off he's not saying that john he's not saying that he just said he wants to do his exercises john those compression shorts are the best shorts for his exercises that's what he said that's what he said look i'm i'm a compression shorts guy okay i wear compression shorts and in fact when i with with shorts. In fact, when I was –

With shorts over it, though. With shorts over it. Right. But when I first did a yoga class at Equinon, I used to do them rather regularly. It stressed me out to no end. But I put on just compression pants. I was like, I'm going to yoga.

I'm just going to wear compression pants to yoga. You looked ridiculous. I looked in the mirror, and I was like, I'm going to yoga. I'm just going to wear compression pants to yoga. You looked ridiculous. I looked in the mirror, and I was like, well, that's my penis. And so I put on a pair of shorts. But I'm not a revolutionary. I'm not that guy. I don't have that gene. Well, let me ask you this. You know, you take a look at Olympic runners

and shit like that. Those guys, look at that guy's cock. That guy is in the Olympics. You can see his bulge. That's mostly ball. You can see that's not even a bulge. Look at that one. cock. Yeah. That guy is in the Olympics. You can see his bulge. That's mostly ball. You can see that's not even a bulge. Look at that one. That's a penis. That thing is pointing down and to the left.

So, you know, I don't know. It's like, now here's the thing. You can be the asshole and be right. In fact, it's how it usually happens. And he's correct. How about this though what would you have guessed the internet said on this one uh i guess they say he is the asshole 49 percent uh of of 19 000 votes says not the asshole the ladies are the asshole 23 said he's the asshole

pretty good yeah i mean i'm actually surprised by that because i i i mean listen being real here not having some fun with it i get it you probably just should put on some pants if you this guy probably has a snake you know fucking hanging out down his pants i get it but if you really do want to get real about it and have the discussion it everything we just said there is some validity to it for sure and going up like like again flip it if a guy went up and was like put your tits away you'd be like oh my god you know what i mean like a whole thing you're talking to her about her body and telling her what to do and with a guy it's like expect it i mean with with a girl yeah it's like it's you're proud of it and it's like oh look at

these breasts they you know what it is they nurture life because but but tits and ass is pretty and a dick is gross like a gnarly bunched up dick and balls is not like an appealing thing but if we wanted to be like a fucking mother earther about it like this is this brings the seed of life right I mean listen we should be able to worship this work out naked how lucky for us to be in the presence of such a fucking

god god he went too far you went too far out on that limb and that just broke off the tree just like a dick alright voicemails now they're brought to you by the zebra You fall out on that limb and that just broke off the tree. Just like a dick. All right, voicemails now. They're brought to you by The Zebra. The Zebra is the best way to make sure you're not overpaying on insurance.

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quotes today for free when you go to TheZebra, T-H-E-Z-E-B-R-A dot com slash KFC. Let's play these voicemails. Jack A. Yo, what's up KFC? Fight everyone else. I have a question. Would you rather have to fight a chicken

to death every time you get into a car for the rest of your life or have to fight a chimpanzee to the death once a year for the rest of your life but you get a sword? Oh, okay. Let me know. I was going to say, I can't beat a chimpanzee. I probably still can't beat a chimpanzee with a sword. But if I know, let's say starting right now, I have to fight a chimpanzee this year. Right? So let's say we do it on July 29th of next year.

So I have a year to train with a sword and fight that chimpanzee. And then be ready for the rest of my life to fight a chimpanzee with a sword I think I have to take that because a chicken every time you get in the car is a fucking fiasco

every time I get in the car with my kids I gotta kill a chicken do I have to kill it yes fight to the death to the death okay what about this

what about if I get in the car and the chicken's with me and we just fight during the ride and then once I get in I can get out no no no you can't turn that car on

the keys magically appear okay how about if I'm a passenger in a car And the chicken's with me. And we just fight during the ride. And then once I get there, I can get out. No, no, no. You can't turn that car on. The keys magically appear. Okay. I'm a passenger in a car. I think he says every time you get in a car. That's what he said. Yeah. Are we talking like, I call an Uber, I got to fight a chicken? Yeah.

Well, I can't. Every time you get in a car. That can't happen. I don't have time for that. That's what I mean. Every time you get in a car, it's just a tangent. I get annoyed enough with Uber as it is how long they – by the way, I'm not Uber. I'm a Lyft guy.

But the – I get annoyed enough with Lyft when they lie to me is how long they not by the way i'm not uber i'm a lyft guy um but the um i get annoyed enough with lyft when they lie to me about how long it takes and it's all it's always three minutes and it's always always takes at least yep it's fucking forever yep um and it is if i had to then be i guess i have the rage in me to fight a chicken by the time that fucking car gets there uh but but like it's such a you're going somewhere right you're nice you're dressed up now all of a sudden you got chicken blood and feathers all over the place yeah you can't have But it's such a You're going somewhere right You're dressed up Now all of a sudden you got chicken blood and feathers all over the place Yeah you can't have it

You can't have that Every day I'd come in to work just scratched up Absolutely You're going to beat the chicken You'll kill the chicken A chicken could claw me for sure I'll tell you what I would fight the chimp once a year sans sword

because this is – it's just too many bullets being fired. One's going to hit me if I fight a chicken. Like one day a chicken will get me. Wait, why are you not fighting the chimpanzee with a sword? Just even if there was no sword, I would take that option. Got it. Because like – A chicken will get you.

Then one day – But the chimpanzee will kill you. Chimpanzees – dude, do you remember – Yeah, no, I know. Every year for like four years on the blog, there was some woman who got her face transplant done because her pet chimpanzee turned on her as every wildlife expert told her would happen. You will get your face ripped off. And chimpanzees rip your face off. They beat you to death.

This woman happened to survive, but they will kill you. So you're dead the first time a chimpanzee fights you if you don't have a sword. And even with a sword. That's why I got to train, so I got to be good with a broadsword. Yeah, and it would be pretty cool to have that, like, you can't even train to fight a chicken. That's just like, I got to get my hands on you, and I got to wring your neck. And I will. If your life depends on it, or I guess your life doesn't depend on it, but your schedule depends on it,

early on, it would be a nightmare. I think eventually you'd be good at killing a chicken. But that doesn't mean that there still wouldn't be a fight and some clawing, and eventually they might get you on one. I mean, chickens are fast. There's blood everywhere. But they're in a confined space. But you're not in the car.

Oh, I'm envisioning it in the car. Oh, I imagine he's guarding the door. Oh, I'm envisioning you sitting in it. And I've got to chase him under the fucking car. I'm thinking you're in. He's jumping over the car. Well, that's impossible. You've got to catch a chicken.

They fight the chicken to get in the car. Well, I'm not even You got to catch a chicken. They fight the chicken to get in the car. Well, I'm not even saying you don't have to catch him because he's with the fight to the death. But he's got evasive maneuvers. So if you land a good – you can't even land a punch. No, no, no. You're grabbing it. You have to hold it, and you have to crack and kill. Which is tough.

But you know what? My dad said that my grandma on his side, his mom, used to regularly kill chickens for food. They were like backwoods Pennsylvania shit. So if, like, my grandma can go out to the coop, grab a chicken, and kill it relatively unscathed. That chicken probably thinks it's getting petted. Drew is not ready to fight to the death. But still, the fact that she just, you know, the hand, like, she could just pop that neck and kill it. But I'm thinking an angry chicken.

I was thinking in the car. So it's like you're in a confined space, which is good for you to kill it, but bad for you because it's just a fucking feather fiasco going on. But I also got kids, man. I can't be fighting chickens every time I got to get my kids in the car. So I drop my kids off at school. Then when I'm getting back in the car, I got to fight another chicken in front of the fucking school to get home. At that point, you're going, I'll watch you to the door. And think about that.

Anytime that you stop somewhere and run in and run out. So I get in the car in my house. I fight a chicken. I kill it. I go to CVS because and run out. So I get in the car at my house, I fight a chicken, and I kill it. I go to, like, CVS because I need garbage bags. I get them. I get back in the car. I got to fight another chicken. It's been four minutes since I just fought a last chicken.

You got to kill multiple chickens. You get in gas. I got to fight. You get out to pump, and then you got to get back in. You got to go to self-serve. You can't go to self-serve. I drive to Jersey every day. Absolutely.

You pump my gas for me. I got to fight a chicken otherwise. You got some friend being like, can you pick me up? No, I cannot because I got to fight every day Absolutely You pump my gas for me I gotta fight a chicken otherwise You got some friend Being like can you pick me up No I cannot Cause I gotta fight a fucking chicken Dude I would fight the chimp

And guess what I'd market that shit Once a year Yeah Pay per view Pay per view baby I'm rich as hell Yeah

You might be dead But rich as hell No cause if I knew I was fighting the chimp You'd train with the sword I would be What's the new Marvel movie? It's like the Legend of the Chains or whatever.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it is – I would be in that ring. I'd be in that octagon. And we'd have a jungle theme. That would give them a little bit of help. And I would be fucking slinging the sword. I would be so fucking shredded. You could put me in a movie because I would be like, look, this is my livelihood.

Well, when you know that you've got to fight a chimpanzee, you will. And especially, let's say it's not scheduled. Let's say it's random. You'll hit the gym every day because tomorrow might be the day I've got to fight a chimpanzee to survive. Yeah. So you will live. I'm training.

You know what? So yeah, everybody, live your life like you've got to fight a chimpanzee at some point this year. You will live your life to the fullest. You will be a specimen. What's it like? Every time I put my feet on the floor

the devil goes he's up. Every time I wake up the chimp goes today's the fight. Dude even like you know like I'm always saying no I don't want to do things like you know what man

I'm going to say yes I'm going to go out because maybe I got to fight a chimp tomorrow. But it would be hard to kill a chimp because like when you like say you slice

a chimp's throat as it's laying there dying you're're like, that is a person. You also kill a person, yeah. It also would not be easy to massacre hundreds of chickens a year. Hundreds? I think thousands. I get in the car thousands of times. I mean, think about it.

Every time you're with somebody, like, let's hop in the car. It's like, I can't, man. It's like, why not? It's like, it's going to be a thing. You don't understand. Like, come on, let's go to the beach. I'll walk. Why? It, why not? It's going to be a thing. You don't understand. Like, come on, let's go to the beach. I'll walk. Why?

It's five miles. It's going to be this whole thing. There's a chicken. It's a whole thing. I mean, it's like Peter Griffin. He literally fights a chicken. Right. Every fucking time.

That's a full-grown chicken. That's like a chimpanzee-sized chicken, to be honest. If you really want to get fucking ATI with it, we could do chimpanzee chickens or chicken chimpanzees. But I think that ultimately I also think you gotta hit a fucking that sword's gotta be sharp, but I feel like penetrating the fur and the flesh and

the bones of a chimp is not easy. No, but I would be able, again, I have no concerns. How would you kill, would you go for the head? Throat, yeah. I think I would do a shrawl. Oh, a shrawl. Yeah, but then you could fucking. Like through the stomach and up through.

Like a shrawl. That's a tough angle there. But even like a stab, I feel like it's like he could still, with his dying breath, still stab you in the neck. Yeah, yeah. What about one of those like I jump from above and I. Like a shroom through the top of their skull. He'd barrel roll right onto you.

They're so fast. Next thing you know, you'd be on your back. Monkeys are so fast. You're tough, yeah. That's what I mean. I don't even think I could hit the chimp with the sword. I think, you know what I would do? I would wait in the corner.

I would wait in the corner with my sword. I'd be like, come get some, chimp. I think the best thing that I can do is I think the chimp would do a jump attack for me, and I would hopefully have to just do one of those. I think that would. I could hold it up. You're basically your William Wallace doing the hold? Yes, with the spears. Because if I'm trying to come at you with a sword...

That chimp's in the corner just smoking cigarettes waiting you out. It'd be a game of chicken. It'd be a game of chicken. I think we just do that one voicemail today. I don't think it's going to get any better than that. That was an all-timer. That almost sounded like the same guy from like when i heard that voice it almost sounded like the the rollerblade guy that was amazing that that we need to put in all of our games put it in ati ati is uh is back monday night july 5th uh dan soter shane gillis we got to add

that question to the rotation for everybody else who comes through because it was that good. But all sorts of hypotheticals on the YouTube channel. Go get your game at the Barstool store, and you can download the app for free right now and play ATI. So it's the return of Answer the Internet and phenomenal questions like that. Last voicemail is brought to you by MVMT. Get yourself some nice watches.

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You'll look sharp head to toe. Go to MVMT.com slash KFC. 15% off, free shipping, free returns. One more voicemail. Let's go. This one's KFC. Probably the rest of the people are sitting around in there. I got a quick one for you.

Would you rather pass a kidney stone every three months for the rest of your life, or every six months do like a real fortune thing where you spin the wheel, or whatever it lands on, it's full of bones in your body, whenever it lands on, that bone breaks. You're two very good ones. I was worried that The next one was going to fall flat Compared to the chickens and chimps

But this one is pretty good A kidney stone once a month Or what was it The frequency of it But they're both monthly No it said every six months But I kind of think it should be a year Okay so

Kidney stone So kidney stone every – Yeah, he can't break a bone that fast. No, yeah, yeah. So kidney stone is once a month? Kidney stone is every three months. Every three months. All right, so kidney stone every three months or once a year. You spin the wheel, and whatever bone pops up, you break.

Now, the bouncer you talked about from the Rihanna thing is here waiting out front for you. Send him in. Send him on in. No, wait. I was good to him. Send him in. When he came over to my desk, I sprinted down. Come on down.

It's fucking life, man. Anyway, we'll go quick. No neck or back on this thing i imagine right i don't know i mean if neck or back or i'm out yeah okay all right yeah no no death you can't die from it okay um in that case i i know people who pass kidney stones it is not fun it is a harrowing they say it's like the most painful thing that a man can experience. It's not childbirth or is worse than childbirth, all that. But at the same time – My broken bones have been like – I don't think I've – all my bones that I've broken, I did not go to the hospital in two weeks. Now, granted, I was younger.

My mothers wouldn't take me. But, like, I just – I didn't even know what happened. And then – Yeah, you used to just suffer with broken bones for, like, days on end. All right. I ran over there because I was going to get him to sign a form and be on camera. He doesn't want to be on camera. Well, I mean, I don't care.

Tell him he's either on camera or he's just waiting there for – I mean – or tell him he either comes on camera or I guess I'll see him when I'm leaving. Okay. I'll let him know. Yeah. The bones – now, the key would be like you could spin the wheel and you could get like a – I don't know actually. I was trying to think of a bone that like – Yeah. There's not one that you can offer it up.

You break like a little thing in your hand. It hurts, but you're – it's not devastating, but you're like this fucking sucks. Yeah. But it's only once a year. Yeah. But if it's like a tibia, you're fucked. Yeah, that would obviously hurt a lot. I mean, I've only broken, like, ankles and fingers and shit and wrists.

But the – What's the least bad – I don't know. What's the word? You know, like, what's the best bone to break, if you will? The best bone to break – I would guess a finger or even a wrist maybe on your offhand. I guess, yeah. But even me, I guess my right hand is my offhand. But it's –

There's some vertebrae that are good to break, by the way. How's it getting broken also? I'm just envisioning like it just – you know what I mean? Okay. Like I don't think you have to just smash your hand with a hammer. I think it's just like – I don't know. That bone just breaks. Yeah.

Maybe like a metacarpal or a metacarpal or a – I don't think you have to Just like smash your hand With a hammer I think it's just like I don't know That bone just breaks Yeah Maybe like a metacarpal Or a metacarpal I don't even know what that is It's like the top of your hand Or the top of your foot I feel like that's gonna give you Lifelong problems Yeah

You know what That's a good point Kidney stones hurt But then that's it There's no lingering issues Broken bones can be a problem But most of them no I mean only like the little ones

In a hand or a foot I think And granted I'm like What happened to Dwight Howard? He could handle it. No, I'm thinking like it was a problem for him. Oh, right.

Well, yeah. We're not doing the same things. No, but also like if it is a problem for some of these guys, it's going to be a fucking problem for us. No, I don't think so. I think it's a bit because he's jumping and he's seven feet tall. Yeah, but I'm a rather regular sized human. If his specimen of a body is struggling to get through these things. But at least because of what he's putting it through.

Yeah, I guess if he was just hanging out on his couch, he'd be fine. Yeah. I don't put it through a whole bunch. The kidney stones, I don't know until I fully experience it, but I hear these things. But it's like, I don't know, Doug's had it, and he passed it, and I don't know. He didn't die, and PFT had it, and I'm sure it was bad, but did he say it was that bad? PFT said it was very bad. Yeah, and it's actually when it passes from your bladder to your that's what that was when it's not when it comes out of your dick it's when it goes through your body into your bladder

from your kidneys but yeah i just don't think you can be breaking bones oh no i'm going breaking bones oh you are i think it's just it's because at least you have the ah nah nah nah nah you can't you can't you're right Because there's too many. There's more big bones than little bones, I think. For sure. Well, no, I mean, definitively not. When I say big and little, I mean important versus not important. Most of the bones you break, you're feeling it, and it's a problem.

Yeah. Maybe it helps. Not even the fuck. Oh, no, it's getting a job done. Yeah. I think the problem With breaking a bone Isn't the pain

Of the breaking of the bone It's the Four to six weeks Of a cast Right That's where Your issue is And then if there's

Any lingering shit It's like You know You gotta spin it next year What if you break it again What if you just have The same bone break And it's like

It's a real problem I think I mean you could get A lot of cool signatures A lot of Cast life is cool And And I mean I you could get a lot of cool signatures. A lot of, a lot of, A cast life is cool. And, and, I mean, I was gonna say, like, well, at least the rest of the No Bones break,

but it's, the spin the wheel, it's such a small line because you're gonna have so many fucking cars. Oh, I mean, that's, that's a great point. Imagine that, it's like, you know, right here is like, you know, your fucking, your, your tibia, and right here is like something that doesn't matter. Yeah. No!

I'm taking kidney stones. I'll deal. Three months. I got to think on that one. I got to think on that one. All right, let's get into our interview. We got Trevor Wallace is here. Funny comedian, internet monster.

You've seen him on Answer the Internet. He's been on the podcast before. He's back. Very funny dude who can relate to like the millennial on the internet life. There's very few of us who can really talk about it. He's one of them. It's brought to you by Credit Karma. Credit Karma has always been there to help you make better financial decisions and now they want to help even more. With a Credit Karma money spend account, you can be rewarded for good money habits. It's instant gratification.

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Exclusions and terms apply. See rules. Banking services provided by MVB Bank Incorporated. Member FDIC. Maximum balance and transfer limits apply. Let's do it. Trevor Wallace is back. And you got a nice little, like, sunglasses tan going there.

I feel like you've been out in the sun, baby. You enjoying life? Yeah, I got wrecked. I got wrecked by the sun. I thought it was going to be one of those things yesterday where you, like, see clouds in the sky. And you're like, I don't believe in you, son. But the sun only burns you when you talk shit about it right because i looked at the sky and i was like it's not gonna hurt me all of a sudden fuck yeah we got a motto

here at barstool if you think you're tougher than the sun you're wrong man you're not tougher than the fucking sun and that's and and everybody still falls for like ah it's cloudy and then they say that's when the sun gets you the most and then they still get got by the sun dude see i feel like if your parents didn't beat that shit into you when you were a kid and granted i grew up with like like negative melanin like doctors are like i don't know what this kid is and my parents are like look when the sun's out that actually makes it brighter and you go fucking bullshit all the time but like as like, as a child, I didn't listen to it. But now as an adult, I'm like, they probably had something going on. That's the real fucking deal, man. Oh, yeah, my mom would be beating my ass if she didn't see me throwing on that SPF 50 yesterday.

My mom has been preaching that. I'm just an idiot. My sister literally had skin cancer. My sister had skin cancer from not wearing sunscreen. And I'm like, yeah, I don't know about that. It can't be that genetic. My sister literally had skin cancer. My sister had skin cancer from not wearing sunscreen. And I'm like, yeah, I don't know about that. It can't be that genetic. Well, then it's like, yeah, what are the chances both of us get it? It's not like we share the same fucking skin DNA, man.

No way. No way it happens to two people in the family. Now we're just playing Russian roulette with the sun. Where are you at? Are you in L.A.? I am in Los angeles right now uh beautiful skies of depression and smog yeah man where are you originally from but still getting burnt yeah i'm originally from kind of like a suburb of los angeles like an hour outside of it all right so between los angeles

that's as much of a like la local as it gets like everybody else is coming from all over the country you're that you're from there at least yeah everybody's moving from wisconsin with hopes and dreams i mean i was born in illinois but i was so young it doesn't even like count i was born in yeah i was born in naperville illinois it's like on the outskirts near uh like an that's like an hour outside of chicago i don't even know and then my mom's like this shit is too cold back to california smart and so i feel like you is that weird like i always say people who grew up in new york in the city in new york city are fucking weird because you're you're like riding the subway

when you're like six years old you're like smoking cigs and drinking 40s when you're like 11. It's not a normal – there's no grass. You're not riding your bike. You're not climbing trees. You're not doing normal kid shit. You're a little bit outside of LA, but I feel like that's got to be – when you're a true LA person, that's got to be just as weird, right? Yeah, the people that are in LA –

I think I was in a big enough suburb that we didn't really ever cross paths with LA kids, but the people that grew up in in la i think i was a big enough suburb that like we didn't really ever cross paths with like the la kids but the people that grew up in la are very interesting they're like my dad's a porn star my mom's a pa and i exactly but the people in la the people who grew up in la seem to hate la the most or they're like this is my home i live here i only get you know coffee on third and beverly because that's where my older brother grew up and then there's all these stories and whatnot but yeah so that the people in la are a little a lot of it you know that's like new york yeah yeah there's people who are like i i live here i've lived here for 60 years and it's the

greatest and then there are people who like i've lived here for 60 years and i fucking wanted to kill myself every single day yeah you know it's a little and they let it known they let it be known they're like oh i'm bringing in you know i brought a pigeon to show and tell like they're letting you know that they're from new york so but um are you guys from i'm a new york guy. He's a Boston guy. So East Coast. Most of Barstool's all East Coast. All good. We've talked about trying to get a West Coast like presence out there. We once tried with a couple of dudes who were from Indianapolis and from Indiana, some shit

out there. And then and then tried to make it as like comics. And they were supposed to be like the West Coast Barstool representation. It just it just didn't work. It was, at that point barstool didn't translate to LA yet. I don't know if it, if it could now, but back then it definitely didn't. I think so now, especially because we're doing, got all the Tik TOK boys out there.

I just don't think it would be a different barstool out in, you know, if you were a boss or something like that out here, you know, very different headquarters. What do you think about like, so, so the reason I wanted you on, uh, I texted you recently cause I was listening to you on Ryan Sickler's pod and there was a couple, uh, a couple moments talking about like you coming up as a comic and also just like your headspace when it comes to this whole game. So I want, I'll get into that in a little bit, but, but, uh, you know, you were talking about like earning your earning your stripes and like get your chops in the comedy world. And then, you know, obviously you made it big on the Internet as far as social media videos, sketch sketches and skits and stuff.

But then along comes tick tock where it's just like, yeah, I got six pack and I fucking, you know, wiggle my dick a little bit. And these guys fucking blow up. That would probably scare the shit out of me, drive me crazy. I'd be half jealous, half angry, trying to keep up. Is it good motivation? Is it toxic motivation? Like, what is that whole, how do you view that whole explosion? Yeah. It's motivation from like every different angle because for me, I'm, I think like a lot more like a businessman i go okay what's the longevity of a guy who's got a six-pack who's 18 who's starting to party a lot all right he's gonna start drinking he's gonna get that beer gut and what keeps me at peace is seeing all the popular vine stars who had it back then just for being hot you see them now and they look like they got like just salt infections they're

just big bloated dudes and they're like it keeps it gives me peace of mind knowing like hey six packs aren't forever unless you work at it and train for it but comedy and having personality that's monetary you can you can right that's why stand-up comedians literally do stand-up until they're dead because they don't change internally. They might look like shit. They definitely look like shit. We've all seen our favorite comedians on a headshot and you see them live and you go, that's not the same person. I think just letting

it not get to you is the best thing, but there is a lot of that where you go, 10 million views for being hot. I've gone on a pretty extensive TikTok rant before. Where, like, if TikTokers ever tried to. And it's not even anti-TikTok. It's more just welcoming them to reality.

Where it's like, look, one of your best friends in the next five years is going to wrap his car around a tree and die. Just, like, accept that in your that like that's that's your life trajectory just just fucking understand it it's these kids don't go to college so they're using because i went i was in a fraternity so i got out four years of just aggressive drinking hating my body and then graduating but okay that was fun now what but these kids are going through the no college phase they also have money now tons of money so imagine did you see that fucking thing what that story that story

just like it was like yesterday or two days ago it was like a bunch of tiktokers okay uh this is this is an article from daily dot uh it says says, TikTokers are claiming that a glitch involving Chase Bank is causing their accounts to appear as if they are $50 billion in debt. Now, obviously, they don't have – I think they mean as a collective, like a bunch of TikTok users. But how many TikTok users does it take to make up $50 billion? The numbers are astronomical, man. Anything after a million, i don't even know could you imagine at that age like having access to that amount of money and people knowing you and people the vultures that come around you're fucked that's what i'm saying it's like i got all

my alcoholism and my regrets and all that in college out i mean now these guys have an audience they got millions of eyes watching their every move and they're like i'm gonna get absolutely shit cannon hammered and then wrap my g-wagon like you were saying on the 101 flying so it's like it's it's good to get that shit out of you but they're just they're all in like a frat slash reality show while still not having to have a fake id to get alcohol i mean they're like 19. So it's like, all with two parents who are like, yo, let me fucking get in the video and I'll be your manager.

And like, you've got to put your sister on and you've got to bring the family with you. And yeah, you're going to have like one kid who ODs, one kid who crashes the car, one kid who suffers from depression, one kid who falls, you know, gets addicted. Like it's just the most best best case scenario for tiktokers is bieber and even bieber at stage in his life i think he would say at least one third of his life was spent in a deep dark

depression yeah oh yes the best case scenario the trajectory is being a maniac yeah the trajectory is a lot of drugs. You party and you go off the grid. You get long hair. You find yourself in a Joshua tree in the forest. You do a lot of psychedelics. You come back. I'm a man of God.

Now, once you hit God level, once you start preaching God, that's when you know you've seen it all. You've done all of it. Yep, yep. You've done it all. That's like, it's either that or Dancing with the Stars of Level Lake. That's peak Hollywood right there. Yo, it's so true that you mentioned that you went to college. There's such a difference, I think, when you all do that collective life together,

but then you kind of realize, okay, we can't do this forever. And some people hang on longer than others. And then, you know, it's not like you stop partying in your twenties. Of course you have fun, but there is some acknowledge, or at least I should say this successful people. Like, again, I listened to you on that podcast where you had a moment where you were like, all right, now I got to do some, some shit for like the long haul that now I got to do something for my career. And if you don't just, if you don't have to work for a career or especially in the world of comedy where there's so much failure before success, if you're just gifted 100 million followers because you dance or because of whatever, there's no way you can have the right mentality of what it takes because there's never been any any work for it. There's never been any hustle or grind yeah it's also like where do you go from there because these kids are going from like living at home with their parents to living in a you know like

18 million dollar mansion it's like you're mentally like oh i'm just gonna go to a studio apartment after this right like what how do you what what i love about stand-up and the trajectory that i've done is like i lived in a fucking pool house when i first moved here with i peed outside every morning it was great i was like i love this i'm on house when i first moved here with i peed outside every morning it was great i was like i love this i'm on the grind baby gary v suck me off you know i was fucking fired up but now it's like you get to work towards something but these kids are doing it's like backwards it's like you win the lottery now what do you have what do you do after what are you how are you gonna trump what you already have yeah Yeah, I mean, I'm not – But also, like, as much as we're saying this, like, I think –

I think a large amount of them will go on to be successful. I may make the jokes and shit like that, but I do think a lot – if you look at the Vine guys, right, almost everyone in Vine, or at least the top stars, right, there's plenty of people who just fell by the wayside, but the top stars are still very successful, right? I couldn't name them all for you, like king bach he's one right he does his shit logan wouldn't you say logan paul is a fine guy yeah yeah that's true and the people that do do it they figure it out quick they figure out the the business side of things but uh there

is a lot of just like i drank my ass off for three years oh fuck now what why is money fucking coming ahead yeah i loved i loved uh business savvy you're good the story you told about uh so fights he was he was coming up in the comedy world and and you know when they say like you need to bring people to your show and he's in a frat so he just brings like you know usually a bringer show you're like lucky if you bring like four or five friends along right he brought like his whole fucking frat with him so it's like a wednesday night and when trevor goes up on stage the joint is fucking packed with rowdy dudes who are like two drink minimum yeah like how about fucking 22 drinks let's go and the comedy club's like what the fuck is this and it's like look see man sometimes being a dumb fucking drunk frat boy in the right areas it can pay off man that must have been

unbelievable to be like yeah this is what i do man i just i move crowds i bring them with me it was awesome i mean i had my own like cheerleaders and like for comedy clubs like like you're saying you know they're not expecting much because they just see you as a math equation i'm like can you give me a five minutes of time on a wednesday and off night a shit night i'll bring 20 plus people they're like okay 20 people each person's gonna spend at least 45 dollars yeah get up there yeah and i mean and plus the the majority of the opening acts if you're at a comedy show you don't even remember their your their name let alone like a few of their jokes so the as a normal audience remember

like yeah this is some new kid probably trying to make it work all right where's the real guy at so it's a win-win but it helped me kind of uh you know jump in the deep end early and learn to swim instead of like spending years and years and years and years before i get this massive audience like i went too fast too quick then i was like okay how do i because then I got humbled when my friends didn't show up and I was like oh that was funny yeah it's kind of like a cheat code where it's like if you bring your own audience that's not really an audience coming to see you it's just like your boys hooking you up so that first time where you don't have that that's interesting it's like your safety net's gone yeah it was that beginner's luck type of thing but it's like you need that you need to be humbled

and the fact that i was humbled gratefully and i still wanted to do it is a sign that you're like okay this is a path for me this is for you yeah did you were you big on the internet first or like did you start to amass followers or stand up first so so you were stand up was first yeah stand up i mean i started to stand up in fuck what 2011 2011 was the first time i ever did stand up and then i took some time off and uh and then my like junior year of college is when i got back into it and that's when vine was around so I did stand-up when I was 17 for a little bit and then went to college did the frat thing for two years degenerate just fucking terrible and then after two years of that Vine came out and my friend was like dude you

should start posting on here and then I kind of like was getting back into stand-up a little bit at the same time and then I kind of just kept doing both and i was like one of these will hit before the other yeah with the power of the internet it's so much easier for you know a random 10 000 people around the world to see you then it's like you know how many shows you'd have to do to amount to 10 000 people i that's why i i it's always so interesting and the and the pandemic uh brought a lot of comics into the Internet world. But I, you know, Barstool obviously was digital from Jump Street. And we were doing, you know, the Internet the whole time being like, yeah, let's get like 50,000 views on this video. And where in comedy, you're like, I need to fill up 500 people tonight.

And it's so much more like those 500 people going out, seeing you buying a ticket laughing at you like you probably have deep fans for life as opposed to tens of thousands of views which maybe are only there for 10 seconds but the amount of people you can reach on the internet is just it's it's i feel like a lot of the comics who have just now opened up their eyes to the power of the internet it's like uh yeah man this thing over here is fucking powerful sell your tickets tickets, but also don't ignore this. Yeah, there's definitely that shade in the beginning, like, oh, you're an internet guy. And then the pandemic kind of really merged everybody. They're like, look, you make your shitty content.

I make my shitty content. We don't bat an eye. If something bombs, you just pretend you don't even see it. Yes, yes. But if you think about it, what really did it for me, what did it for me is I'm thinking like, who's the biggest comedian in the world? One of them, Kevin Hart, obviously. Let's say he does a tour of 10 cities. Each city has 10,000 people in it.

Right. Like that he's doing massive shows, but still you can put out a video that does like eight times more views than that, which is crazy to think about. Like Kevin Hart, biggest entertainer in the world and then you just you put out one video and you can reach a bigger audience now obviously he's making fucking rackolas doing those shows but it is interesting like the amount of shows you'd have to do to get a million views yes visually right it's crazy i it's like, is there once you made it and you know, so you're racking up like millions of followers, right? it's like is it i guess is it like the love of the game that still will be like i'm gonna go to the club and play for 250 people tonight just because i love stand

up and that's where or because to me i'd be like ah i don't know i'm gonna bang on another video and reach another like 10 million people yeah no it's a lot of that it's i gotta do both because what they they fulfill is different fulfill different kind of like feelings. There's nothing better than live stand-up. That feeling of hitting that laughter is like no amount of views will ever make me be like, oh, I feel like I've been, you know, my worth has been, you know, funny. What am I trying to say here? But like value.

I've been valued by it. Because like the internet is so weird. You post a video, you see the views go up you refresh you refresh but you're not feeling those 1 million people laughing and patting you on the back not at all number right so you know what it is much rather go down i think this is what it is it's like if you're i would imagine if you're on stage yeah there's a the occasional heckler or some shit who talks shit about you but it's wily people who came out either for you or came out to laugh and they're gonna laugh yeah you'll bomb every now and then but mostly it's love and laughter all that shit the internet is a fucking gruesome ugly disgusting

place where like love on the internet is worth like one one millionth of the hate you know for every one person who talks shit i need like a million nice comments to outweigh that so it's like one is kind of on the internet love on the internet is just just not telling me you hate me yes like if you're not explicitly telling me you hate me i'm like that person like yeah which is so sad that's so sick it's like please just don't wish me death and i'll consider it a win but that's where uh you know being for yourself, an internet guy and a stand up guy, you're going to bomb and you're going to eat shit. And you're going to have to deal with like the times where right in front of you are 300 people or whatever being like, you fucking suck, dude. And then you post a video that maybe that doesn't hit quite right and bombs and you don't get the same amount of views or the same amount of likes.

And that fucks with your mental health and your depression and shit. It's you gotta be, you gotta have thick skin to do both on the level that you do it. Yeah. What I've realized is standup is more forgiving in a sense of like, let's say this joke bombs. You're like, I got another one right there.

Boom. Like I'm always thinking what's next. So if something's not going my way, I go, let me throw in a an a-list top tier joke boom right but if a video bombs i can't get that same audience to be like well hold on wait wait watch watch this next video right they're moving on they're leaving hate comments so like fuck this guy and what's crazy about 2021 is you can get heckled in emojis right

the worst you can get heckled by the straight face emoji to do with the the line mouth just this one it's like that's almost even worse because you picture that person as an emoji so you're like i'm getting fucking i'm bombing in front of goddamn animated figures what would you say is worse what would you what would you what's worse for you if you bomb on on stage let's say you know you bring up the other jokes and you try to hide it but like it just the whole set falls flat or you know your weekly video or whatever it is it's like you know you usually get x many views and you get half of that and all the comments are the straight face which one is

harder to recover from harder to recover from i might say video because video is like you know bomb is like because you can get up the next night and be like it'll be a different audience than the one you had the night before but you're like all right time to get back on track let me feel good again yeah so you can you can prove yourself real quick but the internet is such a weird place because the people who watch that video now have that impression and and they might be like ah trev had a good run but he kind of fell off you know so there's like that you know each video i put out i kind of have to be careful to be like this is a good video i don't want to rush anything you know versus stand-up i'll go up there with a half-baked premise i thought about while i was on the shitter that morning and if it gets a

few laughs i'm like okay i'll work on that yeah once a video is you can always make your stand-up better but once a video is out you can't take the comments re-edit and then re-upload and be like now look at it right yeah i i think there's like uh there's like uh uh i feel like comedy crowds generally understand that you're watching like a work in progress or you know this is you know sometimes you even go up there with a book or a notebook or whatever and you tell the audience i'm working working on some shit. Whereas the internet thinks like, this is it. You put your heart and soul into this one video and it defines who you are in its entirety. And if it sucked, I hate you forever. Fuck the internet. Yeah. They're like, this is the final draft of the video. You are ready to present this. But a lot of times I'm like, I've been staring at this video

for so goddamn long. I need to just post it or else i'm gonna keep yeah with it yeah here you go and then a week later i go why didn't i add this why didn't i you know so it's the internet might be a harder seek a validation with the bomb because it's a time stamp it's like this video is locked in there that's why you just gotta tell everyone like i i don't even like it like like oh you hated it i had i had such a funny experience with that i was talking to some guy to show i was doing a show with the chad goes deep guys you know them so i was doing chad goes deep they do like the courtroom stuff where they were they oh yeah yeah so i was doing a show with them and we're talking about weird interactions and this guy comes up to me in the green room i don't even know how he got in there and he's like yeah man i came for chad and jt and you know you i've been

watching your stuff lately and uh yeah i'm getting there and i was like it's just a weirdo so me just trying to find a cop out i'm like yeah man it's they're all hit or miss you know they're not all great and he goes yeah what is that what is that i was like i don't fucking know i'm not lebron james is off. Let's just say that. Not every single video is a home run. How fucking existential and abstract of a question is that? Like, yeah, man, life is sometimes hit or miss. What do you want me to explain about it, bro?

Sometimes things aren't great. What the fuck does that mean? What is that about? Yeah, you have bad days sometimes or something like that? What's your problem? You have different emotions. You feel different things and then what the fuck man that's wild and then he proceeded to tell me that he uh he proceeded to tell me that he does motorcycle rentals in san diego there you go like you know some of my videos aren't gonna resonate with your audience okay i'm sorry about that i'm sorry the harley davidson crowd isn't gonna get

on this portland oregon joke that i'm doing so it's just very funny but i heard the way people don't see it that way the way you uh spoke about trying to talk to your therapist about this shit and that it's it's hard to find someone who kind of can understand the new age like you don't get if i don't if i don't get a lot of likes, that fucks me up mentally and that some old dude from the wrong generation isn't going to quite get that. And I'm sure like they're – it's more like the likes on the internet. You don't have to know exactly about how that works. It's more about what's going on in between your ears. But I do get that feeling where it's like if you haven't lived it and don't get exactly what we're going through,

you're not going to be able to help me. Yeah. It's like your dad being like, yeah, you'll get through this. And you're like, you're just saying shit. Yeah. You don't know. Maybe I fucking won't dad. You have no clue. Don't even get me started on this. Like don't even, we got, I don't know how much time we got left, but we're going to have to add another fucking hour on the clock if you want to get going on this.

But she's like, I understand. I'm like, you don't. You don't understand it being there. When you're trying to fall asleep, you know they're coming in. And when you wake up, you know they're coming in. And when you're in the shower, you know they're coming in. And one day she was like, why don't we do a little thought exercise? Why don't you just start reading the comments like read your dms i spent 15 minutes

like god's like what are you doing to me what are you nuts what kind of like go well why did columbia even give you a degree this is insanity yeah what kind of i mean that's like looking the bull in the fucking eyes and being like, let's do it. Yeah. I read comments like with – I like scroll to half the words they're showing. Then I'm like, okay, that's a laughing emoji we're making out. We're good. Until you get to the word like butt.

It's like that was funny, but nope, nope, that doesn't count. It's all good. I do take pride in the fact that I genuinely believe people at Barstool, people like yourself who are on the Internet and have been on the Internet and are young enough. We are legit like the trailblazers of it for better or worse. Not saying that we're like the funniest and we're making the industry. We're just like there's very few people that I can turn to tell them I'm going through, and they can actually relate and actually tell me. If I ever came to you and I said, man, I put this video out today. It didn't work, blah, blah, blah. And you said to me, oh, well, this one time this happened and this happened.

And don't worry because it ended up okay. I'd be like, all right, word. Trevor knows that. And John knows that. A couple guys here. Very few, man. Like I can count on like one hand, maybe two hands that I would actually value their opinion because everyone else is. It's like you have no clue.

Like, oh, one time your boss, your your co-worker said something to you like, no, you have no fucking idea, man. And that's literally instead of like reaching out for like professional help which i probably should do i you know whatever but i usually just ask my close friends and i go dude views are down what the fuck and he's like bro just going through that shit it's that's and then just hearing somebody else have that same problem makes me feel better that it's not just me and then you know i'm just bouncing and we just now it's like a running joke we can just call each other and be like this is what's happening and he's like oh bro me too and then you know i'm just bouncing and we just now it's like a running joke we can just call each other and be like this is what's happening and he's like oh bro me too and then you just kind of talk shit on the internet be like fucking youtube and instagram it's all dead

right now you laugh i went through uh what did i do so many times i said it's the algorithm and it's the pandemic for the last year. Fucking pandemic. No one's leaving the house. What do you expect? They're fucking sick and stuff. Yeah, there was definitely a point in the pandemic where I was like, you know what it is? People are on their phones so much that they don't even want to see

what's on their phone. So their attention span, they're just scrolling to scroll, but they don't actually want to see what you're posting. You know don't think that's crazy that made because i do that just all the time i was fucking i don't look at anything i don't write a tweet in six months i've been on twitter for 10 hours a day i haven't actually read one six but bro think about think about how many times job we've said like like you said, pandemic is here. Podcasts are down. Nobody's listening, right?

And then you look at our boys doing RU Garbage. Their shit started in the pandemic and has exploded. You got a guy like Tim Dillon who went from, like, middle level to, like, God level. There are podcasts that are thriving in the pandemic, bro. It's not the pandemic's fault. They're buying followers. They'll tell you something exactly what you want to hear. It's not the pandemic swamp. They're buying followers. Exactly what you want to hear.

Exactly what you want to hear. You're like, people aren't driving to work. That's when a lot of our listeners are listening. So they're at home. The sound system is better in their Kia Soul than they're at their office. They're not listening. It's actually been like, we're back.

You know, vaccines are here and so are these brand deals for Manscaped. Let's fucking go, baby. It is. It's one of those things. It's so funny when, like, something happens like this, and people with no idea why it's happening start to speculate. Like, it's just the conversations coming up again with the NBA

because it was down during the pandemic, and then, like, it's the highest ratings of all time. I think ratings are up 39%, like like since 2018 or whatever it is and like very during the pandemic everyone was like it's the fucking woke athletes and now everyone's like done like everyone like no one has any idea about any no one has a clue about anything in the world like at all it's all so it's so fun dude think about it it's like you know for the longest time there was like television and that was fucking it and yeah It's like, you know, for the longest time there was, like, television, and that was fucking it.

And, yeah, there's, like, more channels were coming and cables coming. I'm sure that medium changed. But, like, that was it. Now, by the time you figured out why something worked, it's over. There's another fucking new app and another – you know, it moves so fast. There's no chance anybody can be an expert in any of this shit. Everybody's faking it. Yeah. Yeah. The pandemic really just showed it just spotlighted everybody's opinion to be like i can say a thing and people will believe me and it doesn't have to be true in any regard so now

now more than ever people are more opinionated well also they also have more outlets to be opinionated on like what you were saying was when it was just TV, you can yell at the TV, but the only people that can hear you is your four goddamn stepkids. So now it's like I can have an opinion, Fauci popping off, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop.

And now all like 300 of the people that follow me on Facebook are just like, yeah. We got to form like a fucking, like a justice league Like a collective of people on the internet

To just complain to each other Can I call you up and cry man And you can call me up and cry when you're going through it It's the only way we're gonna survive this shit That would last for a week And then somebody would be like Hey guys just wanna stop by and promote my OnlyFans You're like Debra get the fuck out of here

This is where we vent, not jerk off! Give me that promo code! You got a lot of OnlyFans chicks out there, a lot of girls that you know, or people like, around here, I think we all kind of know one or two, or you hear about the girl from high school, or her friend, or whatever.

I feel like out in, you know, in an LA or a Miami or somewhere, it's gotta be way more prevalent. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And a lot of it also is like, you know, in an LA or a Miami or somewhere, it's got to be way more prevalent. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And a lot of it also is like, you know, only fans the name. You just picture just spread butthole. Just right in.

You know? But it's really now, it's more so just like bikini pictures. I know. It's some bullshit, man. You know? We're backtracking here, ladies and gentlemen. Like, if you're a chick who's not, I can understand, I suppose, if you don't want to put your asshole on the internet. You got some morals, family, whatever.

But at this point where it's like, you can probably trick some people into at least a couple months of subscribing by just reposting your Instagram with maybe a little bit more. Like, just try it. Why not start an OnlyFans? Literally only post your Instagram pictures and say, I've started an OnlyFans. You'll at least get like 10 grand. And then people will be like, fuck you.

It's like, okay, whatever. I'm gone. They'll get mad. Yeah, they'll get mad. But I don't know. Whatever. See you fucking later. What I've realized is you don't want to fuck with horny people because horny people are

the ones that then go on the internet and be like, it's the same photo on her Instagram. And then they just like, just fucking docks her whole family's address because they didn't get a nut off and didn't see an areola so that might you know it's like it's like if you watch a movie trailer and you're like that looks good and then you go to the movie and then they just rerun the movie trailer you're like i already saw this what are we doing show me the full thing so yeah at least so if you show one nipple i think you're good right i don't even know man nipples these days like grow up your tits you think i want to see your tits come on yeah i'm probably the anti free the nipple camp i am i put that shit away i'll wear a sweater the whole time what do i fucking care i mean that does nothing nothing yeah there's a you can really i mean a lot of girls won't be so out

forward with it be like here's the only fans link it's always like the the link tree by i want to be like or uh not instagram proof uh you know 18 plus adult content right right right you're trying to hide that shit. It's OnlyFans. It's fucking OnlyFans. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And there's like girls from my hometown that like don't even have like a big following.

And it's just like just normal chicks. And I see the link and I'm like, I wonder, you know, are they pulling one in? I, if, if you send me a link,

I will subscribe. I will give it a look. That's kind of my thing. As always, I'll just take a gander, maybe for one month. I'll take a gander maybe for one month yeah just just a quick little look see i just can't imagine and then when i inevitably when i have inevitable like when it becomes inevitable i know it's gonna be where it's just bikini pics i always just fucking i'm just sitting in a toilet just fucking smack my leg and i like i shake my finger on the phone'm like, you fucking got it. You did it again. You dirty dog. You did it again.

The hardest part has got to be trying to promote it. You know, like anything, you can't just walk into followers. I mean, maybe if you do certain shit, but the hardest part that I got a picture, some of these girls from their hometown, they're like, I'm hot. How do I get people to want to subscribe to this? Like, how do you market that? You know, you just go on Instagram one day and be like,'re at the beach pina coladas also here's my pussy yeah yeah i i you know what i think you got to do here's here's here's my business plan i would i would start an only fans i would post i would get the heat i would get the trouble for hey this

is just your uh your bikinis or whatever and then i'd like message or dm you know whatever i'd post like i'm gonna i'm warming you guys up i'll get there i think just even just dangling the carrot to these guys that eventually i'll put my tits out and then you get you know see how long this can last until you're eventually comfortable to actually show them a pussy flap just just buy some time a little internet four boy yeah exactly you know you can't this is our first date this is our first date come on it's month number one yeah no that's really smart what i'm waiting for is when's the first teacher only fan scandal when's the when's the next fourth grade art teacher gonna be be like, Mrs. Wagon has a wagon! And then just like

the local times. I'm surprised. It probably already has happened. Oh, it has happened. Really? And mom? She wasn't a teacher. I'm pretty sure she was a teacher and one of the class moms outed her.

I think she might have just been a mom at a Catholic. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's what it was. It was she was a mom and her kids got the boot. They said you can't. It was a private school.

And they were like, we can't have your kids enrolled in this school because you do only fans. Oh, the kids were enrolled in the mom did only fans. She's like, bitch, I'm trying to pay for Catholic school. What do you mean? Yeah, this was mom. Private school is expensive. Listen to this right mom who makes 150k a month

from only fans says her catholic school expelled her three sons because of her page i'd be like bitch i'm buying the whole school and the only three kids enrolled are mine the rest of you motherfuckers are kicked out that is 150 a month and that's also that's i thought it was it goes maybe less than that and she kind of had to do one of those things where she makes a decision like do my kids stay in catholic school or do i just drop this that's that's um we're the fuck out of here money you'll go to ps118 for a few months then we'll get you a new one next year did you see those kids anywhere because what are those kids gonna do be homeschool while she's filming while she's

fisting her asshole in the kitchen? You know? She's like, keep the kids in school. I need my away time at home. They're going to get a sippy cup for lunch snacks and it's just filled with dildos in the top drawer of the dishwasher. Don't touch that sippy cup! Bro, it's honestly it's straight like

Shane Gillis' last skit with the OnlyFans dad. You want to go wakeboarding? You like all these nice things? It's because I with the OnlyFans dad. You want to go wakeboarding? You like all these nice things? It's because I'm on OnlyFans. How much – I feel like if my mom was on OnlyFans, I would be like, you know, we got to negotiate here. I got to get like a certain percentage of that money to make up for how much I'm going to get bullied.

So I better be, you know, the G-Wagon that I'm going to wrap around the tree. Like we got to pay for that because I go to school every day and I get fucking crushed, lady. How much money would you need for your mom to be on OnlyFans for you to be like, all right, I'll deal with it? You know what I immediately think of is like the funny part about OnlyFans is you can generally see how much money somebody's making by doing some quick math. Yep. So if I knew my mom was making $150,000 a month and I got off-brand fucking dushers in the kitchen, I'm blowing up the whole

house, alright? So if my mom is treating me well and we get the smuckers, we got all the Uncrustables, we got all the fruit by the fucking, fruit by the foot, fruit by the yard, we got all that shit. I don't really care. Alright, how about, yeah, but wait.

So that brings up an even bigger question. Would you rather your mom have a poppin' OnlyFans page or a failure of an OnlyFans page? Poppin'. Right? You can't have your mom be a failure OnlyFans. But even though that means less people are looking at your mom's asshole, less people are going to find out. You'll probably endure less bullying. The few people who do find out, it's like, yo, your mom's got OnlyFans,

and she's busted, and she's got no followers. I'd rather her be the top 1%. And it's fucking – You got to roll that some third grade. The only guy is like, no, I don't want that. That's just sad. That's what I mean, and that's even weirder when it's like, mom, you have like six dudes on the internet who jerk off to you as opposed to like 60 000 that i swear to god let

her be just the biggest only them over yeah the show and tell in class you just bring your mom they're like oh my god he's 93 it's a weird fucking world out there, man. Last question for you. In the same regard, though, if you were a chick, would you do OnlyFans? Legitimately. It's easy to just say, like, yeah, I'd do it. But I think I'm at the point where I think I would do kind of what I said. Like, I think I would try it out and see what I can get away with at least. No, you gotta. Yeah, if I had thirsty DMs, on the on the daily basis being like hey

yo let's go out great fucking jokes because i know i'd have a rack if i was a girl i'd have oh really i'd be a i'd be an ass girl i'd have a fucking donk on me i'd probably be the girl i'd be a butterface i'd have no tits but i'd have a fat ass fat ass yeah but that's the thing with only fans and also important in this time we're in, one of the biggest porn stars on Pornhub doesn't show her face. I know. So you can do just ass. You can do just tits.

So there's a market for everything. You can do just elbow. Like, it's really – it's never been more, like, pieced out ever. So I would give it a shot. I would try it out. And then if it failed i'd be like wow i lost the game of truth or dare i also like i i don't think and i and i don't know a ton of people on only fans i know very few personally it's all kind of tertiary people i know but like i don't

know anyone who's gone on it and regretted it that's what i mean like every girl is kind of like oh i can't do this my family this my morals that but then every girl who does do it is like yo my life is awesome like just like like i said at least give it a shot and if it doesn't work out but you're gonna when you're when you're driving a porsche and you you got you know your own fucking house in the city you've always dreamed of living in i just think the positives far outweigh the, like, I mean, even think about it, like, do you ever, you probably don't, you probably have balanced your content enough, but, like, in the early days of Barstool, we were fucking renegades on the internet, man, we were saying the most fucked up

shit, we were peddling true smut, we're like, look at this hot girl from college, go jerk off to her, I mean, it was grimy, and even that had people like, my parents had to be telling people like, but he's, you know, he's successful and he's happy because enough people were like, Ooh, your son, your son does that. So it's like, if I had to deal with it a little bit, like, and I got over it, they got over it. It's all the same shit where eventually all the people in your, you love in your life would be like, yeah, but they're doing well and they're happy. Fuck it. Success makes everything and people in your you love in your life would be like yeah but they're doing well and they're happy fuck it success makes everything and people overlook whatever you're doing right about it if you're trying to become it's almost like if you want to

be an only fans girl if you want to be a rapper if you want to be a comedian everybody thinks you on the same level in the beginning they're like he's not going to make it she's not going to make it but once you be successful in any regard they they're like, yo, Trev, always been a fan. Once the girl, yo, Cynthia, I always knew you had a fat fucking rack. I was just going to tell you. I'm sex positive. You know, it's actually feminism. You know, all that shit.

The narrative changes real quick when you're successful and got money. The success thing. Because, like, even when early on my parents would introduce me to people at you know weddings or churches whatever the fuck they'd be like this is my son he does comedy and then this is my son he does comedy and they oh what does he do is that like a full-time or hobby and this and that but like you know my parents back then would be like yeah he's you know he's working on but now they're like proud to be like oh yeah cheryl you bitch that's his full-time fucking job he bought me a fucking house, okay, motherfucker?

Yeah. Money changes everything. And he showed his penis. What? So success is the barrier of anything. The bigger question is, like, you know, I would rather try to get popping on OnlyFans if I was a girl than sell fucking Arbonne or fake makeup or, you know, protein.

Absolutely, man's there's something more honorable about it that's great too i guess for sure rather just being some combined the two combined it sell me some whey protein show me some coochie rub that that tea on your fucking rub it everywhere man yeah dude it's uh make that money man what are you so what you got going now you're selling tickets you back out on the road. Are you just doing videos? What's up? Yeah. Back on the road, man. Hitting the road pretty heavy in the fall. So they got me doing just some like warmup kind of random markets just to kind of, you know, stay sharp during the summer going to like places like Des Moines, Iowa, like two weeks. Then I got like Cincinnati,

fucking Oklahoma city and Spokane, Washington. But these are cities that are just pumped to have you. When you perform at a place like New York, they're like, I saw John Mulaney at a cheese shop last night. So you kind of have to bring the heat and be like, here's why you should take the F train 20 minutes to see me versus I was just in Omaha last weekend, and I'm just genuine happiness for them. So I'm stoked. You know, I got this podcast, stiff socks. That's getting pretty, we're doing well.

We're going to take that on the, on the road pretty soon too. And just kind of just, you know, that stuff. Yeah. We were, we were talking, we got to do a KFC radio, stiff socks, a crossover, get, get your co-hosts in the mix and we'll bang it out. Have you guys done any live podcast stuff? We've done one-offs here and there over the years.

We did the Wilbur a few years ago. That was our biggest one. That was back when Big Cat was a part of it. We kind of had our last show with the three of us and we did a couple nights at the Wilbur. Then we started to do once a month shows in Carolines right before the pandemic. So we were like every month one date we'll be at Carolines.

Like we joked it was like our little New York City residency. And then we had like a little tour planned. And it was literally like we were about to announce in March of last year. So that went out the window. So we're just getting back into it now we're going to go to levity in nyack in rockland right outside the city so we're easing back into the live show we were kind of joking it was like a mini residency at caroline's because we were just doing it like there once a month and then we had planned like a little like a mini tour that was supposed to uh it was like march of last year it was like

right before the pandemic i remember i remember i said to john maybe we should just go go forward with it because we'll be the only ones who are doing shows everyone else would be afraid and then i was like yeah bro nah the whole world's done so we uh were you pussy that we're we're performing that was my plan like we're barstool. We're fucking Barstool. We'll do fucking shows anywhere. No, man. It's just four dudes in a crowd in overalls. Fuck yeah. Yeah, so that went out to shit.

But we just announced we're doing Levity Comedy Club in Rockland, like right outside New York City. So we're trying to get back into that. But, yeah, so you're going to do – when you do a live podcast versus – We haven't yet. Oh, so you haven't done it yet. Because that's – No, we really want to. Yeah, I feel sorry. We just don't want to seem like we're phoning it in.

We want to make it a show where it's like we'll do stand-up in the beginning just to warm it up, and then we'll do the show. Because I don't know. And I think people's expectations are like, yeah, they're just going to go up there and talk. So I just want to make the show a level above that. That's exactly where we're at. Because we don't do stand-up, so we don't have that act to do.

If I could do what you just described, I think you're golden. Because we tried to do some little bits and kind of make it gimmicks and all the feedback from those shows were like bro we just want to see you do your show like the show that we listen to every week we just want to see it but my thing is that's also true i know though but if i paid money and i came out to a comedy club like when i'm up there i actually get so fucking nervous hosting live podcasts because i'm like fuck they're not laughing they're not laughing because sometimes you have like a 10 minute combo that's a good combo but it's not like laugh out loud funny so i'm like shit we're bombing no one's laughing but they're like nah we're good man we're enjoying it so i try to give them a little bit more but just try to keep it like what your regular show is i think that's

very true because they just want they they love the show so much they just want to see show live. So you don't have to over go out of your way to make things too different. They're like, guys do the show, but it is interesting. And that's why I love recording in a studio with just me, Michael and our producers. Like I'm not trying to impress anyone. I'm not trying to look for the joke, but I think in an audience you might kind of be like, exactly. It's like, It's like a reflex. I'm like, oh, come on, make him laugh. And then sometimes you go for the low-hanging fruit or you're a hacky or whatever it is, and it's like, ah. So, yeah, I think we're going to do some shit with audio-visual.

You put up a screen. You could put some videos up. Yeah, that's the element where you can enhance it, where you're like, whatever you're talking about is now behind you. And it's like everybody's on the same page they're like wow i didn't know that our teacher did have an only fan yeah there we go exactly that makes that's the name of the game man i think there's money to be made so uh we'll get out there we should do a stiff socks kfc radio live on stage one day right cool man that'd be awesome i think i'm gonna do uh the new york comedy festival so okay that'll be i think it it's in like November or something.

We can just cross paths or even just chop it up or something. For sure, man. I look forward to it and I appreciate the time today, dude. I also got this bad boy. Hey, yo. Yo, yours murdered it the first time. And COVID, unfortunately, just absolutely demolished ATI. There was no chance.

We tried to do it over Zoom a couple times, never translated. And I was like, who do I know well enough that I can hit up and be like, yo, do this yourself and film it. We'll send you the cards, send it back. You were the first that came to mind. Your shit's going to murder, man. We're rolling it back out in like a month. So as soon as you get the time.

I'll set it up and i'll film it nicely because it's like somebody showed like also like hot ones it's like you can't do that on zoom you got to be in the room so yeah yeah this one all you know i'll shoot it all normal and now i can look at it and uh you know make sure i don't say anything because the first time i did it i didn't realize how many times i said like bro or something like that in the comments like how many times this guy gonna say bro i was like oh fucking no i'm at the barstool office that's what we say get the fuck out of here say whatever you want man fuck the comments don't worry about it yeah all right i'm excited man and i got all these i'll just grab like 10 i was gonna say let it rip dude as many as you want man i appreciate the time and thanks

for doing that and uh we'll catch you next time. All right. Awesome, man. Thanks so much, Dev. Have a good one. Thank you. Thank you.