KFC Radio - YUNGBLUD || 20 Lbs of Sh*t, Top 5 Pornstars, & Prince Phillip

Episode Date: April 13, 2021

Subscribe, Rate, Share, and Leave a Review! What up chickenheads, cluck cluck b*tches! -Usher got "exposed" throwing counterfeit money with his face on it at a strip club -This takes us on a series of tangents that comes full circle 40 minutes later (tangents include, but are not limited to: crypto, milk, parenting, the meaning of life, Prince Phillip, bit clout, and more) -The Send off of the century for Prince Phillip -Feits made an investment and we try to figure out if it was a good one -Logan Paul at Wrestlemania -Feits Notebook: -Where's the worst place to live during the pandemic? -Sandals -Feits and KFC figure out what they want to be when they grow up -Top 5 Pornstars -Feits addresses "beef" with Rico Bosco -Voicemails -Was Jesus a cult leader? - AITA for taking a bite out of my kid's sandwich -Winning an argument -Seeing a customers porn on accident (02:11:51) YUNGBLUD joins the show! We discuss how he wants to become an astronaut, trying drugs in space, what it would be like to spend a night in England with him, hanging out with Machine Gun Kelly, making music with Halsey & Travis Barker, getting kicked out of bars, destroying stages, and much more. Let us know what you think on twitter: @KFCRadio @KFCBarstool @Feitsbarstool @YUNGBLUD Subscribe here: barstool.link/KFCRADIOYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce to you the greatest show of all time. Sounds like you just want to fuck her, period. Of course, yeah, definitely. Fuck the queen? I would fuck the queen. I bet you the queen.

Are you ready for it? Are you ready for it? It's another edition of the KFC Radio Podcast on the Barstool Sports Network. What up, chicken heads? Whoop whoop, chicken heads. Ka-ka-ka-choo! Ka-ka-ka-choo! Ka-ka-ka-choo!

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Ka-ka-choo! Ka-ka-choo! Ka-ka-choo! We're going to start every show from now on. You're just going to plummet. I use this as listeners. I'm going to fucking app them. I got a – I'm already sweating. I know. This goddamn –

So Jackie tells me this morning, this dumb bitch Jackie says, it's clearly a you problem. I was like, it's clearly a temperature problem. It's fucking hot in here. It's cold in here. I mean it's definitely not cold. I would guarantee you it's at least 70 in here, which is insanity. It's too hot. Yeah, it is.

And they're in here all day. Like, they never leave. Yeah, you have to go outside. You'll realize how fucking hot it is in here if you go outside. Yeah, yeah. Let me explain to all these goddamn listeners the heroes that we are. The strife that we put up with the struggle. Every show with my pants stuck to my ass. Yeah. I do that for you. Can you imagine anybody who

sits in these seats after us? It is imagine if you were doing like hot yoga but you were podcasting. Screaming and yelling about like killing people and having sex and all the weird dumb shit we talk about. I'm sweating everyday thinking like I'm about to get fucking fired for what I'm saying. And then on top of it, it's just super fucking hot as well. Yeah, that's probably what the heat comes from. It's just anxiety.

Pure and simple. You know why they're cool? They're happy. They're happy and relaxed. And I'm over here just miserable and ready to like die. It's so hot in here. But yeah, the chicken head. Speaking of being hot in her. No's not usher yeah i knew it but i

wasn't sure yeah he took a shot that's nelly we we are going to talk about usher today john tried to segue he went with the nelly song i don't hate it i i went like, Usher, Hot and Her. Usher. That's Hot and Hersher. Usher. Usher made waves. He was exposed. I hate that they're using the word exposed. Because he clearly knows what he's doing.

You know? It's not like he got caught. So he went to a strip club. I like to think he didn't know. I like to think he just went to he went to his strip club grabbed a couple well that actually might happen so usher went to the strip club and he was passing counterfeit money and i'm not talking about money that like it's it's it's it looks like american currency but it just happens to be fake it's got usher on the face of the money and not only just hundreds

he's got singles fives tens twenty hundreds, twenties, hundreds. Yeah, Usher, believe in yourself, man. Stop putting yourself on $1 bills. Is it Usher pennies out there? No, the one makes sense because he's at the strip club. It's the five that I've got a problem with. Like, 20s, 50s. Did he make any 50s? 50s are rare.

You get a $50 bill, you feel like, whoa. $2 bills and $50 bills, I think, are cool. I went into my wallet last week and found a 50. I have no idea when I got it $50s are pretty cool $50s are cool, $2s are cooler $2s are out of existence $50s are rare

I got a $2 bill I guess it's some fucking Italian thing before Pat's Super Bowl I forget what number but the one in Atlanta Pat's Rams and me I forget what number, but the one in Atlanta, Pat's Rams, and me, my dad, my brother were out with Dante's crew before the game,

and Dante just went around handing out $2 bills to everybody because it's some Italian good luck thing. Worked. It's one for one. Fucking Dante. It's a one for one gimmick. I don't know. As far as I can tell, it works 100% of the time.

$2 bill for good luck. I'm sure he's gone around doing that withone gimmick. I don't know. As far as I can tell, it works 100% of the time. I do know I built for good luck. I'm sure he's gone around doing that with every Super Bowl. Works pretty well. Pretty good, pretty good. Okay, never mind. It's not one-for-one. It's seven of nine. He's probably doing it for the Bears, Super Bowls, and all his Chicago shit, too.

But speaking of Atlanta, that's the club where Usher was caught, if you will. Because, like I said, now maybe he did open the safe, like, all right, we got to go to the strip club. And he grabbed some stacks thinking, these are my American dollars. Oh, no, whoops, I grabbed my Ush box. But I'm pretty sure he knew that he was thrown. I think he knows what he's doing here. This is going to be some grand reveal.

You think so? I know so. Because he does have that tweet. He has a tweet he tweeted out. It's a tweet he tweeted out. It's such a goddamn sentence. It's a tweet he tweeted out. It's on her um the

and it was just him with a full fucking suitcase like a away luggage but clear see-through that was just full of and it just had all the denominations really it had a thumbs up in quotes thumbs up emoji in quotes i don't know what that means. More layers to this mystery. Yeah, the quotes are good. Money, I like. Why do you do that? What's the quotes on? Yeah, something's up. Quotes are nefarious. Yeah, so he's plotting, planning something.

And then you go to the club and you do this because you know you're going to go viral because people – the girls. I would sincerely hope that Usher gave some real money to the manager, the owner, the girls at the end of the night, whatever, and said, like, here you go. But hey, if you want to tweet this out and be outraged about it or something, because now all of a sudden people are making the joke. Everyone's saying ush bucks. I was calling them usher bucks. We're talking about usher money. And we are living in the era of fake money.

We're talking about, you know, Akon made his A coin. All the eras of fake money. That is true. It's all fake, baby. That is true. Gold, they say, is not. Gold is the fakest is true. It's all fake, baby. That is true. Gold, they say, is not. Gold is the fakest of all.

It's the fucking rock. The gold people love to say when you talk about crypto, when you talk about Bitcoin, they go, yeah, but gold has 3,000 years of history behind it. Who fucking cares? I mean, I do get that, though. You know what? I'm going to come around. I'm going to be with those people.

No, it doesn't matter. I mean, you can throw that out the fucking window if you wanted to. People are going to want gold necklaces. I guess. People are going to want gold earrings. You can't make a crypto earring. You can't make a crypto necklace. Watch Usher. Usher's going to find a way.

You ever had a crypto watch? I don't think so. We should make a company just called Crypto right now. I feel like some of us are. If no one's tried that yet, they really missed the boat. But I mean, we make things. So, like, you can have a crypto watch. It's just a watch.

It's called crypto. What's it made out of, though? It's not made out of crypto. No, not at all. It's just the name. The name is just hot on the streets. We've got to make, like, quality, like, just quartz or whatever. Sure, that sounds easy enough for us.

Yeah, sure. We can do that. My mom does that to me all the time. She's like, why haven't you made XYZ? I'm like, because I'm not like Nikolai Tesla. I'm not a fucking inventor, mom. You know what she really wants you to make? I don't know, mom, because you fucking didn't do anything for me as a kid.

You sent me to public school. That's why I haven't done anything. You gave me a dumb brain. Yeah. It's your fault. She really wants me to make, and if anybody can help me with this, because I don't think it's the worst of ideas. My kids drink water.

Just water. They don't do juice. So, I would like. Is that like that's what they want? Yeah. I'm like, you want some soda? Like, you want to try this? You want to be a cool kid?

Yeah, like iced tea, like everything. I'm like, you want to try this? And they're like, nope. You're going to inject your children to sugar addiction very young? Well, it's funny because when I first got a dog, when I first got Duncan, I remember being like, I'm not going to feed him bad shit and he's just never going to know about it. And then he'll be healthy and it'll be easy or whatever. And then within a week, I was like, you want to try some bacon, bro?

You want to have these treats? Because I just want my dog to be happy. And my kids just sit there drinking water. They have milk, like bottles, like milk in the morning, milk at night. And they chug it, bro. It's weird. Every night. My kids are probably getting everyone

chugs milk you have one touch it uh glass of milk once it hits your lips when it's warm warm milk yeah you microwave the milk what are you talking about right now well i think it's like you know you start out breastfeeding and it's like warm so then when you switch over to like milk it's supposed to be you know you keep it warm my kids are probably getting old enough where i should be like weaning them off that but like yeah, yeah, you put the milk in the microwave. That didn't happen to me. Didn't? No.

Josh drank cold milk his whole life? I think, yeah. I think, yeah. I think if my mom ever put my goddamn milk in the microwave, we got a conversation to have. Text her right now. Say, did you ever warm my milk up in the microwave? I'm guaranteeing it's going to be yes. You know what's a crazy thing, John?

What? When you're still doing breast milk, you can do the pumping thing, right? Where you save it for later so you don't always have to breastfeed. You can put it into a bottle, right? Yes. So you got to store that. So what you do is you pump a bunch of milk, and then you freeze it.

You put a date on it so you know when it expires, whatever, you freeze it. And then it's time. Well, you freeze it. It doesn't expire. That's what I say, but I guess. Oh, yeah. Ice cream expires now? Yeah.

What are you, a fucking idiot? Stupid. What's next? Ice expires? Yeah. Look, Ted Williams begs to differ that fucking things in the freezer expire. Him and Walt. They have not expired. Put some fucking titty juice in the freezer

when you gotta warm it up you're not allowed to put it in the microwave oh yeah I thought you gotta put it in the yeah cause it like kills the enzymes or something oh cause it just brings nuclear radiation to the child's fucking

look at my eyes. Roll them out of my head. I mean, please. But, so these kids, man, I'll give them a bottle at night. So they're drinking it through like a little sippy cup thing, you know? What'd you say? No, I am not a bad mother. Wait, wait, wait.

Okay, so what she's going to say is that she heated it up ask her if you heated it up because she's probably saying what you're saying like it's not nuclear fucking uh uh you know you're putting radiation that is funny though but that's what she means i think if she if she comes back and she says like no i give it to you cold because i'm a good mom. Then I'm shit out of luck. Then I am shit out of luck. Hold that up to the fucking – hold that up to the camera. If you're watching on our YouTube, go subscribe, you motherfuckers. This is what you get. You get to look at pictures of John's text with Polly.

It's exclusive shit that you get that's better than when you're just listening. So anyway, I give these kids morning and night. So morning, first thing they wake up they're like fucking you know rubbing the shit out of their eyes or at night time they're like ready to crash I heat this milk up

I give it to them I think because that's why they choke and then they go and I'm like yo I'm like what was that? And they're both like, what? And I'm like, are you guys okay?

Like, you know that we're not in a rush or anything. You could have just, like, chilled and sipped on that and enjoyed it. Only chocolate milks you warmed up. Only chocolate milks you warmed up? So you used to get chocolate milk warm? I guess. I don't fucking know, man. Wow. We came from different know, man. Wow.

We came from different worlds, brother. Different worlds. It is funny when you learn those things. I never thought this because I just know I'm realistic about it. But people who think they're a good parent, it's like you've only raised your kid. And you did a fucking mediocre job. Who raises a kid? There are like literally 10 people on the planet

who are good parents, who should be able to go like, of course I'm a good parent, look at my children. If you raise like Elon Musk, LeBron James, maybe like Obama. I think if it wasn't for me, my parents could say they were good parents. I think I'm the exception to the rule. I think they botched me.

I was the experiment. I was the first one. You know what's crazy? They're like, well, try cold milk. What's crazy is I think I probably would have been the favorite child until like four years ago. Why? What happened? But even divorce.

Did Daily Mail do an article on you? Yeah. Did you make international waves? i can't believe i really did i know that's kind of awesome yeah dave i remember dave signed to me hey you made people magazine it's like yeah i mean adolf hitler made the cover of time not all no such thing as bamboosity, there is. Yeah, there is, bro. International waves. I was talking to Chito Santino about it. I was like, we were just talking about the industry and, like, publicity, bad publicity, all this shit.

And he was kind of just like, what the fuck? What do you mean? Like, people still care. I was like, I don't know. I don't know why. But they all still care so much. But, yeah, up until then, I probably would have been favorite. Now, no, I don't know. I don't know why. But they all still care so much. But yeah, up until then, I probably would have been favorite. Now, no, I'm not.

Boy, we are all over the place. We went from international scandal incident because of milk, because of my kids chugging it, because I was about to tell a story about how my mom wanted me to invent things, because we were talking about Usher inventing his own money. That, my friends, is how you podcast. You're welcome for the free clinic, okay? See if anybody else can do that in the first 10 minutes of their goddamn show. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but it's something special.

You're not going to get it on any other fucking program. No one else is doing this fucking stupid shit. Yeah, right. Everyone else is like like welcome to the show like top five stories about sports yeah not here not here here's our rundown we made for this show today throw it out the window don't have it the um i you actually said something interesting that came up this weekend where you were like uh you talked to cheeto or some of the industry and things like that and i've i've come to the realization because like – we've talked about it before how you text a good amount with people and you talk to people a lot.

Yeah. And this wasn't even about texting on campus weekend. But I am just incredibly uninterested in people. You are. Like we were on a train and someone was like, can you hear this conversation? And I didn't have headphones on. I was just staring. And apparently there was a loud conversation happening about fucking each other. here's a conversation and I didn't have headphones on I was just just staring and apparently

there was a loud conversation happening about fucking each other and they were rubbing each other's dicks Kevin they were rubbing each other's dicks

you said it was a guy and a girl so the girl was rubbing his dick and Kevin when I tell you I was sitting as close as you and I are right now

that's exactly how close I was sitting see that's a conversation I think I'd be interested in but I just I just didn't even give them the opportunity to interest you I was just like just sitting there just staring them the opportunity to interest you.

I was just sitting there just staring. You know, that's funny you say that. We were an aisle away. I was getting a handjob an aisle away, and it was completely unbeknownst to me. I was thinking just the opposite because I am – I do like to meet people. It's funny. I don't want more friends. I want more professional acquaintances.

I want to talk to people who – You're interested in their lives and things like that.ances you know like i want i want to talk to people who not like you're interested in their lives and things like that well i don't want to say you by the way you're on the right side yeah you have a good trade well here's what i think when i say when i see people like want to uh travel the world let's say for them to experience something. I want that one. Right. There's no one to talk to me while I'm doing it. I think life is all about the relationships you have and the people you meet.

Let's say there was nobody else on the planet Earth. You wouldn't have a life. You know what I mean? So I think it's all about people. So I think that's why I'm cool with – I can just sit on Twitter and I don't think that i'm like wasting i mean you can't just scroll and waste the day but i think if you're like following interesting people and like reading articles and reacting to people and talking to them i don't think of that as like i wasted my day where someone who wants to like go hiking would be like you sit on twitter all day and it's like yeah i just like i learned some

really interesting shit i saw like some interesting opinions. I talked to this person. I think that is actually – I'm kind of with you on that. Yeah. So that's why I think I can live – this whole NFT thing and the world going digital where people are like, what are you going to like live on your computer? I'm like kind of, yeah, because I think that's – I don't need to be – I guess I don't really travel. I just like – I'm cool with like – and I can go into any room anywhere. It's like I was never the type of person to go to a party and be like, man, this place is beat. Let's get out of here and find something better.

I don't know. I can find interest in anywhere in life. Oh, I can have fun at any party, yeah. Because I think it's all about the interactions you have. I can find it interesting because I can find it interesting while not talking to anyone. Yeah, so you want to observe, but you don't want to – no, because you wouldn't even watch this person get jerked off.

I did not want to. I was completely unaware it was happening. There's a line in a favorite movie... Somebody said to me the other day that you are a golden retriever, and I really believe that's the case. Oh, I've said forever that I'm a puppy. I'm a golden retriever. I get excited for two hours, and then I just sit there for the rest of the day.

I just chill. I'm good. I'll run around, I'll have fun for a bit. You're kind of oblivious. You can lead me anywhere. It's easy. Just sleep on the day. I just chill. I'm good. I'll run around, I'll have fun for a bit. Kind of oblivious. You can lead me anywhere. It's easy. Just sleep on the floor. I am the easiest person to deal with because there are some tough times.

That might not be right. Manipulate? You're not gullible, but you're kind of easily persuadable. Where it's like, come on. Come on, boy. We're going to go here. You're like, okay.

All right. Yeah. You want to do this podcast? Okay. Yeah. Much like a puppy, because I don't want to disappoint you. I don't do anything. Yeah, right.

I know. I just do it because I don't want to disappoint people. But that's – you know what I don't fucking get? And I hear this with therapy and all this shit all the time where people are like, you got to live your life. And when you're happy, then it's like, no. Or maybe for other people, but if I were

to do what makes me happy, I would let down a lot of people. If I were to do what makes me happy, I wouldn't do anything. That's what I'm saying. And I have kids and shit like that, but even if I didn't have kids, I would let down my family, I would let down my friends, I would have, it's like, just do what makes you happy, and then once you're, it's like, people are like, put your mask on first sort of thing. I would let down my friends. I would have – it's like just do what makes you happy.

And then once you're – it's like people are like, put your mask on first sort of thing. I'm like, no, I got to like take care of that because otherwise, trust me, nothing is going to happen. I'm going to fucking sit here on Twitter all day. And it's not even because I think doing nothing makes me happy. It's because I just don't know what makes me happy. I don't have an answer. If you were like, go do what makes you happy, I'd be like, I don't know what to do. You know what I don't know?

I am – I've tried a lot of things. I don't have an answer for you were like if you like go do what makes you happy i'd be like i don't know what to do you know what i don't know i am i've tried a lot of things i don't have an answer for you yeah that's interesting to not know it's like uh you know uh like can you find what makes you happy it's like can you tell me what even makes you happy i guess draw a map to it and i'll fucking go do it right i don't i need a step-by-step and that's what i think that's what's fun i think maybe most people don't don't break it down as step-by-step. I think that's what's funny. I think maybe most people don't break it down as simple as we just did, but I think that's what

the problem with life is that there is no fucking list of how to do it. It's like you think love will make you happy and you fall in love with someone and you're like, well, I don't know,

that's nice, but it doesn't really do it. Like, I got my dream job here at Barstool. That ran its course pretty quick. Just the job. Like, you do all these things that I think you just

gotta keep, you're like a shark. You just gotta keep it moving. I think everything in life eventually gets course pretty quick. Just the job. You do all these things that I think you just gotta keep, you're like a shark. You just gotta keep it moving. I think everything in life eventually gets boring pretty quickly. Very quickly. So you can't like, okay, I made it.

That's why these people get married when they're like 22. It's like, I found the person I love and we're in our forever home. You're 20. You're gonna live here for like 80 years and just do the same shit over and over?

How about that motherfucker, Prince Philip? He's married for 73 years. And we were loyal for 12 of them. Also, 12 is a fucking stretch. It's a real stretch. My mom was telling me that there was people over in the UK rolling their eyes like,

another day of coverage of Prince Philip? We're over it. We get it. It was like day like day two and my mom was like funny coming from her bitch uh she was just like you know like really like this guy walked like two steps behind his wife for like 70 straight years like no one even knew he existed until like two years ago maybe you can give him a little bit of a send-off for like a couple days before you're sick of it it's kind of like on the internet where uh where people like like uh i'm usually on this train, but there are times where people are like, are we going to beat this joke to death? It's like I've sent two tweets about it. It's been like eight hours.

We can still talk about it. Oh, the internet moves in nanoseconds. But sometimes I'm on that train, and other times it's like, bro. I'll make a one-minute man video on something that happened yesterday, and they're this is yesterday's news like it's been 12 hours give me a fucking break man but yeah that dude 73 years like all all i didn't know about him until he not until that picture of him where he looked like the crypt keeper yeah you know i didn't i if you told me a couple years ago that prince that the queen was married i'd be like no she's not you told me yesterday right you still didn't know it was him. Who? Yeah.

And he's not the king? You know what's so funny? How the fuck are you married to the queen and you're not the king? The bloodline and shit, you know? Bro. The blood. That's why, like, you know, Harry, you know, Harry could never be princess.

I would hit, like, 60 and be like, all right. I'm out. I'd be like, I'm the king now. Oh, yeah. I would refer to myself as king now. Well, that's what's funny is back in the day,

I feel like people did that shit. They were just like, nah, I'm going to, like, take that over. Like, that's mine now. Like, when you usurp the throne, I would have just been like, bitch, I'm as king. Well, that's what's funny is back in the day, I feel like people did that shit. They were just like, nah, I'm going to take that over. Like, that's mine now. Like, when you usurp the throne, I would have just been like, bitch, I'm the king. Yeah. And then just keep saying it until people are like, okay. I would just kill her.

Yeah. I'm the king now, right? Oh, well, okay. That got a little darker. Well, you said back in the day, that's what they did back then. They just fucking killed him. Definitely. Don't bring up the past and expect me not to bring up murder. Yeah, especially when it's a chick yeah like well we'll just like i could

kill her so easy prince philip was yo you know what sucks prince philip was i don't know all right like modern like now right now i'll kill her tomorrow you're saying you like you know like you're saying you have like the mental fortitude to do so to kill the queen no i'm just gonna have the physical ability oh i would hope yeah you can kill a 90 year old woman yeah okay pretty easy why are you questioning yourself i'm just questioning whether it's okay to say on a podcast i'm gonna murder okay i was gonna say bro bro bro where's america let me tell you let me let's make this clear. No, I'm gonna. Take out the gonna. Could.

Could. But I won't. I just want to be very clear. We're on the same podcast where John talked about his ability to kill Vladimir Putin, okay? So he could massacre Queen Elizabeth. You could turn her head into a fucking watermelon smashed on the pavement. Into a fucking English breakfast. Yeah, buddy.

Nooks and crannies in your face. I want a royal blood sausage. I got you. Would you rather fuck Queen Elizabeth or kill her? Fuck her. Really? Yeah. For sure. Sounds like you just want to fuck her. Period. Of course. Yeah, definitely.

Fuck the Queen? I would fuck the Queen. I bet you the Queen, I bet you she has not. We're in a volatile relationship, QE. We are going from murder to fucking fast. Every relationship is better. I was going to say, aren't the best ones just like that, though? I feel like not in many decades, but I bet in her prime she could throw down. You think so?

What's old Elizabeth look like? She looks good for her age. Elizabeth of yesteryear. Oh, you mean when she was younger? Yeah. I'm not even saying, like, I don't know what she looks like, so I don't know if she's hot or not. He's pulling them up. I just bet that she, because she's such a G, like, don't get it twisted.

Queen Elizabeth is a fucking OG. And I feel like she knew the power of the pussy. She's fine. You know what I mean, though? Like, what you're saying is true. Like, why isn't there a king? Why didn't someone just murder her? And I feel like, you know what she reminds me of? Olenna Tyrell. Oh, really? Don't you see that? No,

I don't see that. Why not? Because I know nothing about her. And I hold Olenna in such high regard. I feel like she's a gangster, man. First of all, you should love her. She still gets dressed up every goddamn day. And I feel like she's just been like running through the royal family.

Said it? Oh my god, millions. With that like, accent too. Yeah, oh my god. Shut up, go fetch me a, you know. Like speech bubbles. Like words you type and things like that. You could do a speech bubble for fucking the words Queen Elizabeth said. It's basically just a billboard.

Well, why do you think that she hasn't made public appearances in like 50 years? I feel like she can't. I feel like she can't open her mouth. It's just like fucking the N word. And then it's like init down here in a small. Init rub. And then fucking T goes in like in the middle of one of the Gs. It's just a little T.

I'm going to need a visual to understand this. Oh, sure. Give me a pen. I think that the reason why she doesn't speak and they only talk through like press releases is because I feel like every time the Royals open their mouth, it's an N-word. It's just the N-word. I don't even know what the offensive word for like – there's a lot of Indians in England, right? Like actual Indians, not the American ones where we just renamed Native Americans.

I think there's a good amount of Indians in England. And I think that... I don't even know what the offensive word for an Indian person is, but that one. I'm sure they're saying it. That's a pretty big one. You know when people, like old people, retire from public life? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because of dementia? Because of racism. We can't let Grandma out anymore.

Because she will yell slurs. She's forgotten all the words except the words she said the most in her life. Yes. Because one time we went out to dinner and there was a black waitress and it was a problem. So we don't go out in public anymore. We just stay locked in the walls of the castle where she can say it as much as she wants.

Just make her cream cheese and toast for every meal. Otherwise she just rants about the etymology of this food. Aside from the rampant racism, What is this fucking spice? We get this from the colonies? From the Triangle Trade? Oh, you're making me a T, huh?

Let me tell you about the East India Trading Company. Where's my molasses? Have we been harvesting that anymore? I don't know, man. I don't know what this podcast is. The only thing Queen Elizabeth sustains life on is she snorts flour. Yo, I for sure think that she's doing some get out shit. If there is any truth to adrenochrome, adrenaline, whatever that's called, it's the royal family doing that.

You're mispronouncing adrenaline. No, you know what I'm talking about? I know the idea of what you're talking about. The royals are the ones doing that. Like that dude, Prince Philip, was 160 years old. He was just running out of the magical fucking blood they put in him. That poor bastard, like his legacy will be that one picture. Remember, they were like Prince Philip released from the hospital.

Everyone was like, released from the hospital? He's going out of the hospital looking like that? He should be going in. You know how fucked up that picture is good i didn't even know prince philip was you could say you know the picture that british dude you know people be like yeah oh the one with the eyes yeah think about think about chloe kardashian trying to get that normal ass picture of her scrub from the internet and poor prince philip has to have his dead face all over the web. Prince Philip was so gone, he didn't know what you were doing.

Prince Philip's mind is so gone that he saw that picture and was like, pretty good day. He's still, to this day, but three days ago, he didn't even understand a whole lot about it. How about the fact, first of all, that he's got a full suit on there. That's crazy. He should be wearing those suit suits. It took him from Tuesday to Saturday to tie that on.

To put that on. I think we should officially change the ACI question. Would you rather watch your dad murder someone or fuck an old man, a hundred-year-old man? It should be officially Prince Philip. Because you put a face to it now. Would you rather watch your dad fuck? Would you rather watch Prince Philip blow your dad?

That is just tough. That is tough. Would you rather watch Prince Philip blow your dad or Prince Philip fuck your mom? That is tough. I think no matter what, his facial expression doesn't change. Show me your old face. That dude. Sounded like a cow in pasture.

He's making that sound, but what he's saying is like, please take me, please death, come get me. But all that comes out is... Like at night you hear like a ghost in the hallways. Like that's just Prince Philip, he wants to die. He's just waiting for death, no big deal. He just can't crawl over the banister to jump. We find him here every night, holding on to the railing, just trying. Is someone helping?

I'll get you back to bed, Grandpa. I'll just throw you. One night they catch him. He's like this. He's like, help. And they pull him down. No! You don't know where you are. You don't know where you are.

I know exactly where I am! I'm three inches from Taliesin! A little push for freedom. Please, Harry, please. Please, get that black white beard and send her over there. He wrote a letter preventing extradition for Harry if he Harry, please. Please get that black white beard and send her over there.

He wrote a letter fucking preventing extradition for Harry if he promised to just throw him off the roof real quick. I mean, take the fucking private jet. Just throw me off the roof. Take me with you and crash the plane. Throw me out the fucking window. Poor Prince Bill. The royals are the true definition of you live long enough to become the villain.

Motherfucker, you kicked the bucket. You kicked the bucket right, if you never left the hospital for that picture, you went out on top. Yep, yep, for real. And Megan had to go on Oprah. And now everyone's laughing at your death. Look at that second one. Looks like he just has straight up black eyes.

Look at that. He looks so old that someone just punched him in the face. Wait, maybe he does have black eyes. Oh, he does. Okay, yeah. Okay, I thought that was just being so old. It says Duke of Edinburgh sports black eye. That's the first person above being like 14 years old who had a black eye.

I was like, I just walked into the refrigerator. Yeah, that makes sense. Sorry, I just walked into the doorframe. That's going to happen a lot the rest of your life, I feel like. Wait a minute, am I wrong? Didn't his black eye jump to the other eye there? Go to the right. It's on his left eye now.

Just a different time. Wait, wait, wait, look at that. 23. Does that mean 23 royals have suffered black eyes? Is that what that's saying? When royals have suffered injuries from black eyes to broken bones is a whole site of just times where royals had black eyes? What? What?

It's a Pinterest column. A Pinterest page of just royals with broken black eyes? What is happening? You want to see rich people in pain? This is a rotten.com tab. I'll tell you what, I would like to slug one of them in the face, though. I'm sure you pay for that kind of action.

I'm sure they pay to punch people in the face. How many homeless people do you think the Royals have killed? I feel like they hunt them, you know? Yeah, I would think so. You know when they all go out quail hunting? There's always a human in the mix. Yeah, the Royals were the inspiration for the most dangerous game. Yes, for sure.

They actually don't even hunt homeless people. They hunt fucking athletes. Yeah, they get the cream of the crop. The only reason Beckham got a Man U contract was because he fucking avoided being murdered by Phillip. This young chap can run quite well. Speaking of that accent, we got an interview with Youngblood on the show today, who is one of my favorite people of all time. Youngblood's the man.

He was really fucking cool. Bob Fox had told me that. He's interviewed him before. He was like, he's the man. He undersold it. He's fucking awesome. He's a wild one. He explains in the interview, here's how I would if I were to take you guys out on a night out in town, here's how it would go. I was like, oh my you guys out on a night on the town, here's how it would go.

And I was like, oh, my God, I couldn't even do, like, the first half of the first leg of this. I was like, I did that at my fucking parents on Saturday, bro. You think you could out-drink Youngblood? Yeah. Out-party Youngblood? I do. He's a literal rock star. You think so?

Yeah, I have a podcast, Kevin. The podcast is brought to you by a new amsterdam vodka it's premium 80 proof vodka made from some of the finest quality ingredients and uh and grains from america's heartland new amsterdam it's american made it's quality it's fun it's it's uh it's become the official barstool liquor so it's the official like vodka of partying and and like i feel like man they burst on the fucking scene you know what i mean like just a years ago, I would list every other vodka under the sun. And now it's, like, it's at every party, every bar, the bottle, the branding, everywhere. Now it's painted on the ice at TD Garden.

That's crazy, man. I mean, it's all. I hadn't heard of New England three or four years ago. Now it's painted on the ice at TD Garden. It's all due to Biz and Wit. It's all due to spitting chiclets in the hockey world and bracing it. But then after that with Pink Whitney, it broke out into just, like, it's, you know, where there used to be a chiclets in the hockey world, embracing it. But then, after that with Pink Whitney, it broke out into just like, it's, you know, where there used to

be a bottle of all the other brands, you know. The old advertisements and the bottle shapes, it's all gone. It's all New Amsterdam now. It is like the vodka taking over the world. So, whether you're drinking Pink Whitney or you're just making yourself a vodka soda, whether you're making a little Moscow Mule, the American Mule,

in the Copper Cup, whatever it is you're making, shooting Moscow mule, the American mule in the copper cup, whatever it is you're making, shooting, doing shots of, drinking, make sure it's New Amsterdam vodka. So anyway, back to Usher, man. Do you think that, so I think this is going to be a plot of some sort. I think you're more in touch with these things, so I'm going to listen to you. But I'm also conspiratorial, so it might

just be, I don't know, he's fucking around. Conspiratorial? No. I'm just calling it. I don't know. If we were playing Scrabble right now, I'd say bullshit. I think I'd be like, no, fuck you. When you play Scrabble and call it out, conspiratorially, motherfucker. That's not the word you said. I think you could

take off L-Y over anything. I don't think so. I don't think so. All right. Yeah, any word that has L-Y, you can just take off the L-Y. I think it means I'm like... Safely? That means safe's not a word.

Yeah, I mean, I'm always, you know, I got the tinfoil hat on, so I'm thinking like, I'm always thinking I'm waiting for a scam or a plot or, you know, Michael Strahan gets his fucking teeth done it's like the whole world knows it's a joke like i don't think you tweet that picture and then go to the club and do this without having some sort of reveal or something you know and then in this world of crypto coins and then bit clout coming out bit clout is it's gotta be the biggest scam of all time i don't know what it is i see people talking about

it i do not yeah are they investing in you yeah so it's like think of it as you know and this idea makes sense and big cloud's the first one on the scene at least to burst through like pop culture not the first the athletes did that one for a while that's what i mean like it's not the first but you know it's it's it's getting it's goingering the most attention. Is that company now defunct? I'm sure it is. I would guess so as well. Yeah. But now this idea has come – they were almost – you can be too early with your idea sometimes where it's like the world is not ready for it.

But now people are talking about investing in NFTs and crypto and things that are much less tangible where it's like you might not know finance finance and the business world and stock companies but and maybe not you don't know anything because you don't take any interest in anybody but like if if yeah you're right you're right but like but think about barstool so like think about uh dave with caller daddy like he wanted to bring caller daddy and i remember thinking i was like i don't know i don't think this is a good idea i don't know and like if he could have invested in Alex Cooper then, if you could have bought Alex Cooper coins and then she gets the Barstool gig and explodes, it's just like buying a stock when it's like at the bottom. That's what BitCloud is. It gives you like a – it looks like Twitter kind of and you can invest in people. And then – so like I signed up.

I actually claimed my – they already make – like you already have one made. They make them for Elon Musk. They make them for everybody. And then you can claim it if you have the Twitter account. So they're trying to lure everybody in. So right now my coin is worth $980. Is that what that says? Yeah, so it's like $1,000 to buy a KFC coin right now.

$474 for me. Get it on the ground floor. Yeah, so if you were to claim yeah so so if if you were to claim that so then if we were to like grow uh we could then nick nick hammy's not there but like that dude chamath chamath you know see he has that blue check he's on it 31 so his yeah and elon's the top dog with his his coins are worth 66 000 bucks but he hasn't claimed it yet but like uh i think so chamath did uh logan paul did um a couple like a couple so did you get money first well so i i signed up i claimed it basically what happens is right now nobody can get any money and i think

it's like you can invest in people and i think they're and so i'm assuming you're paying like this company money right yeah and i think they're either and so I'm assuming you're paying like this company money, right? Yeah. And I think they're either going to steal all the money or it's going to be legit. I think it's going to be legit or like one extreme or the other. It's going to be something or it's going to crash and burn, and it's going to be like everyone who gave money to BitClout is the biggest idiot in the world. So I wanted to get in with – I wanted to get Chamath. I have to pay $32,000. No, no, no.

You buy percentages. Correct. But like let's say i wanted to buy a chamath coin or whatever these are yep i give 32 grand and then then you own a coin of chamath then say he becomes mayor of los angeles like you want it to be uh his i would assume his just clout his value would go up i think what they do right now it's based on social media like because you see that's like your that's your twitter bio and everything yeah so i think they scrub like your instagram your twitter your tiktok blah and they i'm sure have

some sort of algorithm or some sort of plan or whatever that assigns value to it and then as you do better your coins go up but it's like so like making that up who decides if you go up or down how much so like all that shit it's like what the fuck you know so like if you have a bit cloud you you've claimed yours correct so do you have to put down any money no that's what you never put down a dollar right do you get money it right now you can't take any money out they're in there like the early phase so like right now they're people let's say you reach 30 000 but you never invested in yourself do you get any money if i if i if they eventually let you take money out yeah how would you get money if you never invested in it?

It's just me. I think I just claimed it. It's my account. It's my company. People just invest in me. Whether or not I put money in, you put money into me. You invested in me. So if I put in money into you.

Actually, that's a good question. Do you need to buy your own BitClout too? I would think you do. Yeah, because you buy stock. I paid money for that. Now I have that stock. Now when it it goes up i can sell it and i get that profit but i paid for it okay but if i'm the company that you're investing in maybe it's like you're paying like dividends to yourself i don't know it's a good question i have not i did not do any research on this i just claimed it i was like i'm deathly afraid of like missing the boat so i was like

you're either completely stealing my identity there was like a terms of service that said like you are waiving your right to suing us. There's no class action lawsuit available. There's no – like I saw that and I was like, this seems shady. Except. So they're either like stealing all my money and all my identity or – and then I saw something. There's something called a key, product key. See that little key logo right there with all those letters next to it?

Yes. A lot of people are like cutting and pasting that somewhere because that's like your login key if you will and i saw someone that said like anywhere that you have pasted this key is completely compromised and they can now access and i was like fuck i definitely did that like if you emailed it to yourself if you saved it on your phone you are now compromised and i'm sure if like you know fucking snowden wants to hack you or something i don't know if like regular jamokes can. But like if the people at BitCloud are like nefarious like that, we could be totally fucked.

Yeah, I could be totally fucked. Or maybe I'm going to get rich for nothing. Well, now here is I think the all-important question. Let's say, like I said, you actually do have to put in money in order to profit. How much do I invest in myself? How much do you invest in yourself, babe? How much does KFC believe in KFC? Not much.

Not much. I think it is crazy that I have a career at all. I think it's all absolutely insane. Okay, would you put $10,000 into yourself? I don't know that – no. I believe in myself $10,000 enough. I just got too many bills right now. If I had $10,000 to burn, I would burn it on myself, yeah.

Yeah? Well, no. I would. I've put $10,000 into stupider things. Yeah, definitely. Didn't you buy like a timeshare in Atlanta or something like that recently? Yeah. John like bought anhare in Atlanta or something? Yeah. John like bought an

apartment in Atlanta. More than $10,000. John came in one day and was like, yeah, I think I like got, I got like the scam of the century, like run on me. And then like two days

later, he was like, turns out it's legit. And I was like, and we never talked about it, but you like bought apartment condos in Atlanta. Apartment complex.

Yeah. John Feidelberg owns an apartment complex. I invested in an apartment complex. But he's a part owner of an apartment complex in Atlanta. What the fuck? Why? Why? Because it's an up-and-coming town, Nick.

It's on the outskirts of the suburbs of Atlanta. It's Newman, actually. Newman County, south of Atlanta. The north of Atlanta is overbuilt. They're going to be going south soon. Going down, yeah. It's called Urban's Atlanta. It's Newman, actually. Newman County, south of Atlanta. The north of Atlanta is overbuilt. They're going to be going south. Going down, yeah. It's called Urban Sprawl. It's a mere 45 minutes from the airport.

Great for blue collar. How much did you invest? Not that much. How much? If it wasn't 10, was it 20? It was 5 times 10. It was 50. It was 5 times 10.

So you invested 50 grand in an apartment complex in Atlanta. Have you seen any money out of that yet? Is that because it has failed or because you're just not at that point yet? No, it's been a couple months. Can I get the book some time? Real estate, it's a long term. It's a long game. Let me tell you, as I understand it, I just basically just stole a bunch of money.

Of course. As it was pitched to me by the man asking me for money. Very easy deal. And these guys are running it as if they're like a landlord now, and they get rent, and that's the idea behind it? I'm going to get monthly checks. But you have not gotten yet? I have not yet. Is there a time that they tell you that will start?

Didn't even ask, Kevin. Didn't even ask. Someone you trust, though, right? Literally. Someone you trust. Never met him. I have never met this person once in my life. He's a prince from Nigeria.

We had a Zoom call one time. But the person who connected you, you trust. Yes, that I do. Okay, that I do. Do you trust or you just know? Like, do you really trust when you think about it? Do you know enough to be like, yeah, this guy knows what's up? Yeah, exactly.

Like, if you hooked me up with somebody, I'd be like, I trust John. I mean, I know John. I don't trust him. He has good business sense. Yeah, well, clearly I don't. Right. So I feel like you've invested in sillier things. Because you know what's really funny?

When the whole world... You've heard of a rosé company, Kevin? You've never heard of a daily rosé company? Something that one could drink each and every day of the week? It is funny that when the whole world... I think I just don't like having money. You know, we're not known. The Irish are not known for our financial prowess. It is funny that when the whole world – I think I just don't like having money. We're not known.

The Irish are not known for our financial prowess. How many Irish billionaires are there? We're not known for that. I really think it's because we're inherently stupid people. I was thinking about this the other day because I'm trying to buy a house for the kids, and I have my own bills. I'm literally running out of money again and I'm like and and then I started talking to somebody who was like you know if you have this equity you can probably go get like a loan or like draw down upon it because like you know you basically have this collateral and like you can just have money now and I'm just like why don't I know that and why don't I do these things it goes back to what I said like a few months ago

where I'm like we're always how many Irish billionaires are there? 16. That's actually more than I, well more than I expected. Way more than I expected. I would have expected like one, you know? Ryanair, I would have guessed like that. And that's it. But, you know, I just always say like, we're just always on like the sidelines of life.

Like we don't invest in, we don't get on the trends. We don't get on these things. Not me. I just sit. the sidelines of life. We don't invest in it. We don't get on the trends. We don't get on these things. Not me. I just give money away. If you ask me to do a Zoom call and ask me for money, I'll give it to you. Yeah. I'll give it to you. I should have been robbing John this whole time, right?

I should have been giving money off the top, like Dean cooking you the whole time. I was doing my taxes this weekend while I was home because to do a chore, I need someone looking over my shoulder. And I wasn't doing my taxes. I was just getting them – to do a chore, I need someone looking over my shoulder. I wasn't doing my taxes. I was just getting them ready to give to my accountant. My mom was like, well, with the pandemic and everything, you can write off all the working from home.

I was like – That's what I mean. I was like, mom, if I do that, I'm not going to do the bare bones of it because that's going to be too much. So I was like, I'm just not doing it. But it's the same thing with why don't we do our expenses to get free money? Why don't we do – why don't we figure out these little tricks? And that's why we'll never be really successful businessmen. Like you know what happened to me the other day?

I was watching a YouTube video and an ad popped up. And you know how you just five seconds in, you can click, skip ad? I watched the whole thing. It was six minutes. I watched a six- minute ad on YouTube because it had a good hook it was like it was like this this sector of business is they had this chart that was like this thing has been growing steadily for 10 years what the fuck were you watching where they had six minute ads yeah it was crazy well you know what there's two things that have been

popping up a lot on my YouTube there's one where where this guy is like, did you know that at any given moment there's between five and 20 pounds of poop inside a human body? And I was like, what? It's some company about like one of those. I have more. Bro, let me – I thought about this. If I have 20 pounds of shit inside me, literally take a gun and kill me. I do not want to live if I have 20 pounds of shame. Five pounds is a lot, too.

Think about, like, feel this. If you took a shit that was this heavy, you'd be like, that's disgusting. That's not even close to five pounds. Not even close. If I gave you a five pound dumbbell and said, this is covered in shit. 20 ounces.

An ounce isn't even the weight measurement is it no but a 16 ounces is a pound so this is like a pound in a little bit imagine five times this being like in my body and then imagine imagine four times that is that if i have 20 pounds of shit in me then i need whatever that product you're selling what's funny is i didn't look at that one i just clicked i was like whatever i don't know not me is that what a colonic is yeah scoops your shit out uh yeah probably i think it's like a colonic is like a fucking i think it's like a diesel enema yeah they just put a hose up your ass turn it on can we we really glossed over the fact that nikki glazer came on our show and talked about how she gave herself an enema that's crazy why that's just crazy that she just like admitted

and talked about we were just like laughing about it and like next topic. Not many people in the world can do that without being, everyone's just like, yeah, keep it moving, whatever. I think a colonic is they just put like a power washer up your ass. Yeah.

So it comes out your mouth. Oh. That would be tough. Nikki's on that Google tip today. I get so many weird fucking ads now. Oh, I'm sure. Well, yeah. Guess what? You're going to get the 5 to 20 pound

shit guy now because of the colonic. And then this other one that was like, this is the number one business spot you're missing, right? It streams gallons of water. Up your ass. Hydrotherapy. What makes one

say, I'm going to be a... There's nothing to support a colonic's effectiveness in the way of running better health. But I don't know. If you told me that there's 20 pounds of shit in me and this could get rid of it, I'd be like, well, I don't know about, like, truly scientifically, but if you could tell me I could either have 0 pounds

or 20 pounds of shit in me, I'm picking the 0 pounds. Do you weigh 20 pounds less then? I imagine. That's what I was thinking. I was like, dude, forget about, like, summer diet. Just get this shit out of me, bro. What makes one want to be a colonic giver you know i don't know hoses are pretty fun to play with assholes are too put it all together

it's really the shit that's the problem uh anyway this ad said here there's this business that's like been ignored and you could make money on it now and they said like it's had 10 years of steady growth and then in the past six months the same amount of growth in that past 10 years and they're like we call that the like tipping point inflection point using all these like terms of a business not those but like something else and i was like okay like what is it and it was like malls are closing and people have online businesses now. And like, this product will help you like drive. It was like online advertising was the answer. I was like, I watched six goddamn minutes for this.

I was like, I already do this. I already do this and I don't make that much money. Fuck off. Like, yeah, people sell things online and will like help you. It was like, you know, Facebook ads, basically. But I bought a sports.com. Get some sweatshirts.irts both wearing them right now you got the plush moon man we got the uh the uh the subtitles uh hoodies out now but but my point being that i was like whether or not that was like a stupid scam or whatever like shouldn't we

look at me john look at me in the eyes, you dumb fuck. You dumb puppy. We have... Totally zoned out. We have... You're like shiny. You're like a cat almost. I was wondering when you got a blue phone. I've had that for a year. I feel like if I could

use this and make it dance, you'd be like... You'd have a little paw out there. We have all these followers. People who are like a cult. they'll do everything we say except subscribe for youtube everything else in the world you know and i'm like if we just knew what the fuck we were talking about this kid is i somebody dm me and told me to stop saying this word as much as i've been saying it so i will but john's being a retard right now he's resting his chin on the microphone and he's answering my question because my question

my my question was gonna be like why don't we do some research and figure out like how do we take this audience and put them here and find out the the spot in the market that's that that's lacking and find the arbitrage of this and that and turn this whole thing that we've been working on for 10 years into money and it's because I've got my friend seeing how far he can push his microphone with his chin that's what he's doing my business partner here is like maybe I can push it to the end of the table

maybe I can do it it's gonna fall it's because the answer is because we're dumb he's going Woody Woodpecker again Oh man it's funny You answered it right though

You know what You know who we need to be more like We need to be more like Logan Paul I know you don't want to hear it I don't want to hear it Logan's a good pal the people the people the people i saw logan paul at uh let's talk about logan paul it's brought you by bloomscape why don't we feel like the people at bloomscape bloomscape are the some of

the smartest motherfuckers in the world because they know that people need plants people need plants because you know why because i've got four blo skates in my house now. And you feel better about yourself, don't you? Sure. To an extent. One iota. Yeah, no. That's not your fault. It's clinically depressed. It's got to stay put on Titanic, but it's there.

I feel like when you live inside, especially here in the city, you're in the, you know, look at Jackie, for instance. Jackie came from beautiful Southern California, right? Green as far as the eye can see, right? You come to New York and there's nothing but just homeless people and concrete bullshit. People filled with 20 pounds of shit. And you want to have

some greenery. You want to have some life. You want to have some, you know, more oxygen, right? It sucks up the CO2. All the good shit about the outdoors you want to bring into your life indoors. And also, just like when you're... Most people listening to this probably don't have the best decoration.

You don't probably have a great feng shui. You walk into someone's house. You put one of those big plants in the corner. Boom. Done. Something alive. Done. If you have something alive in your house, it's classy. And it just takes up. It's like what do we do with that whole section of the room? Bam. Big plant with nice big leaves. Let me tell you what I do. You get a fucking plant. Pop a couple

books next to it, just strewn about the place. Like, oh, those things, those are just books I read sometimes. Just a little like, oh, look, it's just there. Guaranteed. The ladies love it. The fellas love it. I love a good plant. I would say this is not scientific.

You can't hold me to this, but I would say you have you double your chances of getting late if you have a plan yes yep you want a girl walks into your place i wasn't gonna say it because i didn't want to be held responsible at least double right seriously perhaps triple like you walk into somebody a girl walks into your place and you're like your typical like young dude you have a mattress on the floor you're like a poster on the wall. You have one cup. You have a half a towel and like a single

solitary fork. And she's like, I guess I'll fuck this guy. Now you have all those things plus a plant that you water and keep alive. So you can nurture. Bruce Almighty. And she's like, yeah, boom.

She's like, I'll fuck this guy twice. I'm sure bloomscape is going to love this. Yeah. But if you're a plant mom or a plant dad, you, um, well, I can't even fake it.

If you call yourself a plant mom or plant dad, you are an asshole. So let's just avoid that altogether. But watering something and keeping it alive and, and making your apartment lively. It's, it's just shows a little, a little sense of like taking care of something and initiative and whatnot.

And so you can go to bloomscape and you can get everything you need to get the plants. You can get the accessories, the tools, the supplies, everything, you know, to get your,

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stunner at wrestlemania that's awesome yeah weird Kevin Owens I want to say what's he doing with a stunner you know what's funny is all these wrestling moves everybody's finisher is just a wrestling move that like one person you know claimed so it's like maybe there's the stunner

and it was the Stone Cold stunner when Stone Cold did it I don't know maybe Logan just said like I would love to get stunned I'm only doing it if it's a stunt. Yeah, yeah. But I mean, like, that's just... He's in the fucking ring, pushing the other dude, he acted it up, he played the heel, had the

heat, takes the stunner. I mean, the dude's just a fucking monster. That's a guy who's probably, you know, investing in strip malls closing down and getting rid of that 20 pounds of shit. You know? I wonder thing in the strip malls closing down and getting rid of that 20 pounds of shit you know there are there i i i i wonder if people like like like logan and other businessmen and shit are they really that much more savvy or do they just like get rich and then like surround themselves with people who

know they're talking about you know does it start with like the person like do you have to be like reading books and learning yourself so that you you have the instincts to be like we're gonna go into this sector or we're gonna do this next or is it just like i made these 20 videos i got a bunch of money and i hired like really smart people you know i would guess i hope it's plan b because if it's a we're fucked i would think it's the second one but maybe not i don't know because i'm sure there's a little bit of intelligence there. I think about it at Barstool because Barstool's great. Look at that.

Bam! And then he laid there. He put up a picture. He put a side-by-side of him and Nate Robinson. That's great. I think about Barstool. Barstool's great for the distribution channel, and we built and like uh you know lawsuits they'll cover and like there's a lot of shit but like you just have to make your own way here it's not like we

and there are there's support people in here on merchandising people and stuff like smart people who help us but there's nobody sitting down and being like all right like like what's next like like if we wanted to do like an nft we'd have to just like figure that out ourselves you know but is that just like oh i don't know what you're talking about we got tons of experts here yeah yeah we we know about my blood feud with stew i hate stew's guts stew is he an expert i guess so but he you know like he's an expert who never helps me so what so what's an expert you know what is an expert even good for if he just tells you no every time you ask for something?

Fuck. I need some experts who are willing to help me. Yeah, I'm always so pissed about that too. My financial expert who helps me is like, don't invest in fucking

rosé companies. Why are you telling me no so much? Because you keep coming with bad ideas. So what would you say to an apartment complex in Atlanta?

Does that make up for the rosé? One or the other, sir. It is funny that you somehow invested in the only liquor that didn't work. Every other seltzer and everything blew up. Not yours. Because we're dumb. Is that surprising?

No. Okay. It's just – It's also like every other liquor is like The Rock and Kylie Jenner. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But you would think that you would have like a commensurate level of success, you know?

You don't have to be the Rock. Also, it didn't help you weren't allowed to talk about it. It didn't help when everyone lost their jobs who was involved in it. I guess what I'm saying is, you know, we're dumb, and dumb people don't make a lot of money. And I think I just have to get used to that. Let's talk about porn stars, huh? Okay.

Bread and butter? Yeah. Let's talk about your black book first. Oh, you want to do notebook first? Yeah, what do we got in that black book? Okay. I got three things. Anything that's going to make us rich?

Just to... No, one of them is going to be something I'm... One of them is literally what I want to be. I just want to put a period on this whole segment because this whole thing, this whole fucking podcast stemmed from I never told you what my mom wanted me to invent.

This is my favorite podcast ever. I made that statement like an hour and 10 minutes ago and let me tell you what her what the whole reason this podcast happened when i ended up talking about 20 pounds of shit inside people and stuff is because my mom wants me to make juice boxes filled with water that's it she wants me to call it baby water it and she wants and i and i mean i'm laughing because of the ridiculous conversation we had because i think it's a great idea like that's because my point was that my juice boxes are like handy because they can't spill and the kids drink it but they're always just filled with juice my kids don't drink juice so i'm always giving them like fucking bottles of

water and cups of water they're always spilling and shit if i was in a juice box it'd be a lot better and so she was like she's like i was like i was like mom i'm sure that exists she's like yeah i'm sure it exists but you call it baby water you get the right packaging you get the right boxing and i was like yeah that's a great idea mom exists. She's like, yeah, I'm sure it exists. But you call it baby water. You get the right packaging. You get the right boxing. And I was like, yeah, that's a great idea, mom. Like, how could I do that? And she's like, I don't know. Don't you work for this, like, massive fucking company? And I was like, yeah, you're right.

Other people do that, not me. She's like, I don't know. Go talk to Alex Cooper. She'll fucking make, you know, baby boxes full of commerce. I don't know. Not me, ma. I don't know. She's talking about shit inside humans my dumb friend who gets drunk and depressed and writes in his black book

no this is nothing there's nothing crazy today this is just three things um i've i've no no okay first thing i've decided the worst place possible the pandemic was not good anywhere right not a lot of great places okay wait before you i'm gonna try to guess like the worst place possible. The pandemic was not good anywhere. Not a lot of great places. I'm going to try to guess. The worst place you could do the pandemic? Yeah. Are you talking like country, state, or like a smaller scale than that? Smaller scale than that.

I'm not going to guess. Just tell me. New York City. Because it has nothing to do with being sick or dying or anything like that. I had this conversation 50 times this weekend because I was home and I saw different family members and shit like that. Literally every single person asks, so is it coming back yet? Yeah. Every fucking conversation I've had for the last year.

Like, how are things in New York? Coming back? Everything's been open for like nine months. It's been a long fucking time. Right. Like, yeah, I don't know. It's summer, so people go outside more it's every restaurant that was opening or every bar that was opening has been open for a long fucking well they announced that thing the other day that uh like everyone who

makes over a million dollars is gonna get taxed more you know some shit like that and they were like that's it city's dead i was like the city has died fuck i've lived here five years the city has died 50 times yeah i mean i guess i guess that kind of is right though it's like if you if you're gonna be a millionaire you'd be like well i'm not gonna live here anymore so all like the important people leave i guess that you know that's a problem yeah but i don't know i guess this is all part of my existential crisis where it's like i live in this city because i just this is where i'm from and i live here and i don't walk around being like this city must be a glorious landscape of art and happiness and money and otherwise i'm gonna be outraged about it i'm like i don't know man i just fucking live here

and there's some homeless people here before and after pandemics from things closed something's open i don't know i just go to work and i you know and again i just try to keep the shit out of my body like that's just how i don't think about the the grand scale of things so i'm just like i don't know if this this like empire has collapsed or not. I just fucking go to work. You know, I was so worried about it. It's like,

I don't, I don't know, man. I don't even know. I don't even know what taxes are. Like, I don't, if you ask me,

I think, I think if you ask me what I pay for taxes, paying taxes, I would have no, I wouldn't even have a guess. You don't, you know what taxes are. I know.

I mean, I know. I said, if you ask me what I pay, I wouldn't have a guess. Well, all I know is I are. No, I know. I said that. Have you ever asked me what I pay? Oh, yeah. I wouldn't have a guess what I pay in taxes. Well, all I know is I don't pay enough because every fucking time tax season comes around, I owe a bunch of money.

I literally couldn't. I couldn't give you a ballpark of what tax bracket I'm in. I couldn't give you a ballpark of how much money I paid in taxes last year. Yeah. I couldn't. I don't. So if they say taxes go up, it might go down for me because in my head it's higher. Well, it's like gas prices.

Like what I said – everyone yelled at me when I said this like last year. It's like I never look at the price of gas because what am I going to do? Just run out of gas? No. Yeah. Same thing. You have to pay taxes. So just whatever it is, it is.

I don't know what to tell you. But at the same time with everyone moving around during the pandemic, I'm kind of like, so wait a minute. You're telling me if I lived in Texas, I just wouldn't have to pay this? No, that's a fucking lie. That's's not no it's no it is it's fucking fuck off texas you fucking assholes you just pay way more property tax like like they make up for it in some ways yeah you just have a high property tax you don't pay income tax your fucking property tax is way higher than this massachusetts and and it always like so it ends up i'm sure it's upcoming because i always heard that about athletes like they're like they go play in property tax is way higher than it is in Massachusetts. And it always, like, so it ends up I'm sure he gets out and comes back.

Because I always hear that about athletes. They go play in Texas and California and Florida. I guess it might be better if you're an athlete if you want to live in fucking wherever, but you just make you pay like a if you don't own a home there, so you don't have to pay property tax. Maybe that's different. I don't know.

No, but I feel like that's what you have to do. Establish residency or whatever. I don't know. Me and Chaz were talking about's what he's got to establish residency or whatever. I don't know. Me and Chaz were talking about it. He's like, yeah. I just have a way higher property tax than fucking you have. See, but I don't think that's – like I'm pretty sure like if you live somewhere in New York, like the town I was living in, Bronxville, is like one of the highest property taxes in the world. And then on top of it, I also get fucking state income tax. It's just like, well, what the fuck am I doing here? I guess,

but like the Texas, the Texas people fucking pissed me off. Yeah. The Texas people were like, oh, we're going to secede. We got freedoms.

We're patriots. We're seceding. Son of a fuck up. As soon as it snowed, they were like, we need help. We need help. They were like Prince Philip.

And I'll tell all those motherfuckers down there too, like anti-bailout shit. Hang on, we need some money from those fucking states that pay high taxes because we need to be fucking safe. Shut up, Texas, you fucking assholes. Oh, you're going to get it now, boy. Texas is coming after that ass now. Fucking A. We got breaking news on the Patriots.

What? They just caught Edelman. They caught him? They caught him for not passing to physical. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Was that meaning like an injury physical?

Like he's just not in shape physically? Yeah, there have been. There were rumors this year that started probably about last week that his knee was not ready to go. He was not going to be okay. Actually, the rumors were weird. They kept saying it would be unlikely that he'll play a full season. Which I was like, what does that mean?

He's going to start late? Or are you just predicting he's going to get hurt? Right. Either you should say he'll be out for the first six weeks. That's a weird way to word it. Yeah. And everyone was saying that. It's unlikely he'll play the full season this year.

Are you just predicting? Is he going to blow out? What does that fucking mean? Yeah. So this is not too surprising to you, though. I had not even heard this year. Are you predicting that he's going to blow up? What does that fucking mean? Yeah. So this is not too surprising to you, though. I had not even heard this rumor,

so this is surprising to me. No, yeah, it's been discussed for quite some time. Boy, I mean, how the mighty have fallen. Not quite some time, but a couple weeks.

So, like, this season for you is going to stink. No. No? No, I didn't even pass a league this year. Passed a league when the AFCs. You don't really think that's going to stink. No. No? No, I think the Pats will do this year. The Pats probably got to win the AFC East.

You don't really think that, do you? Yeah, absolutely. The Bills are obviously the frontrunners, but I think the Pats will be in contention this year. Why do you think that? You think Cam Newton's going to be good? I don't know if Cam Newton's going to be a starting quarterback. I think that they're not done.

Stay them? No, they're going to draft a quarterback. Oh, okay. Either way, I feel like you're going to have a rookie slide. I think that they're not done with QB. Stay them? No, they're going to draft a quarterback. Oh, okay. But, I mean, either way, I feel like you're going to have a rookie slide in. Great offensive line. Great running back. I think they're going to have an awesome defense. I think the Pats are going to have a good season.

I think they're going to do something. Ten wins? I think they're going to do something. Ten wins is a lot. But it's probably going to be to take the AFC. Yeah. We'll give it ten wins. What are you going to be? Nine? Oh, no. I guess now it's going to be to take the AFC. Yeah. We'll give it 10 wins. That's good. What are you going to be? Oh, no.

I guess now it's going to be, what is it? 17 games? Oh, yeah. That's right. You better get 10 wins. 17 games, definitely. So now you've got to win more games? Not 18 games.

17 games, right? Is it 17? I think 17. Yeah. 18-week season, I mean. Okay. Second one here. And this is one that I am very passionate about.

And I forgot about it because last year I just wasn't really here much in the weather. We are now at the time of year where the fucking animals and savages start walking around New York City in flip-flops. And men, you must fucking stop. Your feet are disgusting. And I have to look at them on a subway. I have to look at them while I'm ordering sandwiches. I was getting lunch the other day.

The motherfucker in front of me had on, like, not Jesus sandals, but, like, they were just too many straps. They were, like, chick sandals. Fucking stocky type shit? Yeah. Kivas? No, they weren't even that because it was, like, thin leather straps. It was just, like, a whole fucking thing. Like the stocky type shit? Yeah. Kivas? No, they weren't even that because it was like thin leather straps. It was just like a little fucking thing.

This goddamn fucking animal fucking savage fucking pinky toe was just sticking out like fucking. Like hanging off the edge? Like a door that was half shut. It was just fucking disgusting. If you're a grown man, if you're out of college, if you're a fucking someone who just has shoes on most of the time, keep wearing shoes in the summer. Are you saying in the city or like? In the city, in most places. If I'm like in a beach town. A beach town, sure.

But even if you're in a bar in a beach town, you probably fucking wear shoes. I think sandals are for the beach. I agree. There was a time in my life I disagreed. I had pretty feet back then. Now you're fucking disgusting. You got hobbit feet. You got to cover those things up.

I got gross ass feet. I don't fucking show them in the world. I think investing in a good pair of like slip on like vans or like a pair of sneakers like that that's like, yeah, I know it's the summer. I know you're in a beach town. But like if you're not going to be walking around on the actual sand, put on some fucking shoes that can – you can be an adult about it. I thought you were bending down to take your shoe off. I didn't know what was about to happen. No, no, no.

I thought you were about to show me an example of your feet. I was like, put your fucking dogs away, dude. I'm with you on that. But especially if you're in New York and like – you don't realize the amount of shit that you're kind of kicking, especially flip-flops and things flippy-flopping. And you're kicking up needles and piss and dirt. Oh, my God, this homeless guy walked by me the other day. And he was like holding his bladder kind of. And he was walking at me.

So I was like, oh, my God, something's about to happen. And he was like, oh, fucking shit, man. And I was just like, oh. And I move over and he goes, oh, I'm going in between that car. And he just went in between the car and started pissing. Oh, he's pissing. All right. At least I was getting some of those 20 LBs down.

He almost like – he almost – name this episode 20 pounds of shit. Or I don't know. But the guy, no, I'm going in between those cars. It was great. I felt him. I was like, yeah, it's okay, man. Go ahead. You can pee all over this place.

Okay. Last thing here. I've discovered what I want to be when i grow up says the 31 year old before you tell me okay what like where did you did you see something did you was it on a tv show a movie was it a no it was shown to me by a friend. Okay. What shown to you? A website? A picture?

It was a website. It was on Wikipedia, but it's just the definition of a thing. Okay. It's so fucking awesome, man. Is it like a cool job? Yeah, it's literally the coolest job I've ever done. Like me and my dream to run that bowling alley in the Caribbean sort of thing. Something like that? Or is it like a –

It's even better. Okay. It's an umarelle. An umarelle. I think that's how it's pronounced. I don't understand how pronunciation works. Here's how it's pronounced with spelling. I don't know what the fuck that means.

What? I mean you're basically telling me you don't know how to read. Okay. Granted, like some of the – if you give me like give me, like, a U with, like, a swirl. That's what I'm talking about. That is tough. Yeah, yeah. But for the most part.

Instead of an E here, it's like a three. Can't read it. Just read it. Yeah, I mean, I agree with you. Okay, that's tough. But I also could just look at that. That's like Uma Rell, you know? I think so.

You don't need to be a goddamn genius. Well, it's Italian. So maybe it's Rell. Uma Rell. Uma Rell. So, okay. Uma Rrel. Uma-rel is a term

in the Italo romance variety of Bologna referring specifically and this is where it gets awesome, folks. This is where I mean, goddamn,

this is the dream. Referring specifically This is going to be catastrophically stupid. To men of retirement age who passed the time referring specifically This is going to be catastrophically stupid. To men of retirement age who pass the time watching construction sites, especially roadworks, with hands clasped behind their back

and offering unwanted advice. I mean, if that's not the sickest job, just stand, look at the pictures, the two of them. Hang on, hang on. If you guys just stand outsideest job, just stand – look at the pictures, the two of them. Hang on, hang on. If you guys just stand outside the fence just being like – Like, oh, you're using a two-by-four there, huh? It's literally the only construction term I know. I'd have gone with a hammer.

Not comparable. Yep, yep. No, I mean I know exactly what you're talking about because there's also Asians who do this. I'm trying to figure out what they do. Oh, fuck. Hang on. It's different but similar. You stand like this and you just yell at construction workers giving them unwanted advice.

I mean, I could crush this job. I can retire young and become numeral. This is I can't find the exact term for it. This is different than they're calling the Beijing bikini, but the, um,

there's old men. This might be it. Bang. Yay. Bang. Yay. Old Asian men. Bang.

Yay. Is, uh, exposing grandfathers is the translation. And they, in the summertime, sounds like a Pornhub. I know, right? I know, right? in the summertime... Sounds like a Pornhub crew category.

In the summertime, they just pull their shirts up. And they just walk around like this. Just because they're hot. I'm going to be a Bangay Umaral. Let's combine the two. They stand outside of a... And they kind of push it out

so they have this big pregnant belly. Because they're just hot. How about this? Maybe they have something with their nipples they just don't wear a shirt they put a shirt on, pull it up and they do the hands clasp on their back and they just walk around China so we're going to do this

and we're going to be like you dig in the hole too deep we're going to hit a water main you assholes don't you know you're pouring the concrete too slow it's going to hit a water main, you assholes. Don't you know? You're pouring the concrete too slow. It's going to get hard. I'm going to bang you over the rail, motherfucker. Oh, table saw, huh?

Not me. I used a hand saw. I would have gotten that. More accurate cuts. Oh, you got one-eighth of an inch, huh? You're going 116. No, you're going one-eighth. That's us. I can't wait.

Is that an Allen wrench? I'm out. That's it. We're out. I would use the electric screwdriver. I'm gone. Bang yay in Umarell for the summer, motherfucker.

Bang yay. Exposing grandfathers is a tough branding, though. We're going to have to work on that branding. That was a good Johnny Notebook session. I like that. That was good. Now let's talk about porn. Why are we talking about this again?

There was a reason why. Riley Reid is engaged. Right, okay. So Riley Reid got engaged to a parkour guy who just runs around. Hop on the mic real quick. Both of you, actually. Would you are either

of you attracted to parkour guys? Parkour guys? Parkour. Would you be more inclined to fuck somebody if they are good at parkour? I'm it is right it's cool yeah I know what parkour is would you be like more inclined to fuck somebody if they like are good at parkour I'm saying it right

it's not like maybe no no I know what you mean he's like yeah motherfucker I guess it seems way up her alley way up mine what does that mean I don't know

you're from California you're from California you know you probably had guys like you're hanging out in like I don't know that is true you're much more inclined

to catch guys maybe not because I feel like you do it in like cities a lot where you can like jump around buildings and stuff but I can see guys like outside in California looking like hot and and toned and jumping on shit.

Yeah, exactly. I mean I guess it kind of just translates into athletics, right? Like you're in shape. But do you think it's actually – so like you could meet a guy. Let's say you meet me, like a guy like me. I'm just sitting at the bar. I'm talking. We can have a conversation.

I'm funny. But then there's this other guy who's like, look at me. I'm jumping over this car and spinning on my head. You're going to be like, see you fucking later, dude. I'm going to go bang that guy. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's cool, but like – I feel like you need a visual kind of –

After a while. I'll show you this guy that Riley Reid got engaged to. He's just running around like just jumping. He's just like, look what I can do. And he just jumps and spins. And I'm looking at it because, like, there is something inherently, like, I can do that and you can't. So that's, like, cool. That's always, like, a cool thing.

But it's just, like, did it, like, go off? Pasha Petkins. You're like, what's up? I don't care. Well, that's – it's like, you got money. I don't give a shit. Pasha the Boss is his name on Instagram. He's got 1.3 million followers.

So he's obviously like, you know. But all his shit is just like running around. He's running around the beach. He's like doing flips and shit. And so that makes you be like, I will fuck that guy. Probably more likely, yeah. We got to take up parkour, bro. Yeah.

What about, wait, wait, wait, before you go. What about standing with your shirt pulled up over your belly and judging construction workers? Do you want to fuck those guys? Because I'm glad I just saw. Absolutely not. I think it's not really for me. No, I'm saying. It's the crowd.

Dad, that was way meaner. No, no, not. I'm not saying because of your bodies. I'm just saying the weirdness of you guys. Cut that mic. Cut that mic. That's enough. That's enough.

I'm not saying it because of your disgusting body. No, not because of your body. I meant because of your deplorable behavior. It's just the act of you two. Get out. Get out. So Riley Reid got engaged to this. I'm just slapping it.

Yeah. No, you just slap. I'll do the rub. I'll do like the winnie the pooh like i need some honey uh so riley reed got engaged to this cat who does parkour so uh it had us talking about riley reed and is does she belong on the mount rushmore of porn which is now we're getting down to four is really tough. So we're going to do top fives where each of us can have five, and then we'll talk about the top ten, really, because in the porn game, there's just so many different ways you can go.

New, young, old, different races, different styles, different time periods. We tried to do it on the rundown, and you narrowed it down to four while leaving out monster people. So, top five porn stars. I'll let you go first. Of all time.

Yeah. All the time. Of all of the times. What did you think? I was going to give it, like, a time constraint? You're going to eat into the mic and just destroy people. No, I'm not going to. I'm just licking it.

I love how much it upsets people. I am going to eat a Dorito chip on purpose for the people who hate it. Because I just like to watch the world burn. All right, now that we've set the mood and got it nice and sexy, number one is going to be, God, this is hard right now. I feel like I'm picking winning lottery teams. I know. I feel like I'm drafting the dream team. It's like, I'm like, this is, I feel like I'm drafting,

you know, it's like the dream team where it's like, I don't know what you draft like Jordan first magic first. I don't know. What are we doing? My thing is like, I'm just trying to think how I'm going to break it down. That's what I mean.

You can pick like, just like who are the prettiest. Yeah. Like, like you personally, like, yeah. What you watch the most like, who the prettiest. Yeah, like, you personally, like, yeah, what you watch the most. Is she the prettiest? Is she the sexiest?

Is she the most hardcore? Is she someone you watch the most, like, when you grew up, like, the first one you watched? Like, there's a million different ways to go. I'm gonna go number one.

I think Jackie should leave the room. It's not fair that you get to look that way. I'm gonna do it like this the whole time. You should, you have to stare into Zach's eyes while you get to look that way. I'm going to do it like this the whole time. You have to stare into Zach's eyes while you do this. Make it even.

Make it fair. That's a lot worse for Zach than it is for me. That's a punishment for Zach for sure. All right. Number one. Number one. What the fuck was that? The Tootsie Roll Owl.

One, two, three. All right. Fuck it. Let's go. Number one. I think I have to go. I think if I'm going most, like, who ushered me through puberty the most? I'm going to go Jenna Hayes.

Yeah, you've always been a Jenna Hayes guy. Jenna Hayes. I'm a big Jenna Hayes fan. Mm-hmm. I mean, she is... No problems there. No beef with that pic. You can't get mad at the Jenna Hayes thing.

No. I remember there was a video where one time she said, she goes, this is funny, this't like sexy it's like that's how we live i love humor erotica uh she was fucking who'd she fuck i forget one of those you know there's some porns that you just like like you like oh i know that room like yes yeah like oh my god i know like all of them i've seen a bunch shot in this house yeah you know the one with like kind of like the pink oh i might not know the one you're

describing but i know like you know it's got like a pink like almost like see-through type wall um i mean if i showed it to you yeah i would know it yeah anyway she's fucking man well in there and uh and it was an anal cream pie scene and jesus christ john and she couldn't get it out she just laughed at you i think my ass ate it was an anal cream pie scene. Jesus Christ, John. And she couldn't get it out, and she just laughed at you. I think my ass ate it. Funny sexy. That's funny sexy.

That's funny sexy. I mean, it's – I hate to admit it. You kind of stole my thunder. My number one pick is Manuel. You know you're going to get the goods every single time. I mean, I've clicked on a Jenna Hayes and been like, nah, that didn't do it for me. Like, not that one. Another one, great.

I've never clicked on Manuel and been like, I've been captivated every time. I got a problem with Manuel, though. Now, Manuel, king of the king, right? Yeah. Good as it gets. The guy's a pro's pro. What's your beef with him?

It's really not him. It's a more of a... Accent? It's a fucking criticism of his... It's a criticism of people who he's actually... The industry? What are we talking here? It's a criticism of his co-performers a lot of times.

Because Manuel's uncircumcised. That's fine. No big deal. I've seen plenty of people uncircumcised. I have to look past that, yeah. That's fine. All hard dicks are the same. But sometimes when it's not hard yet, they suck it and bite the extra skin.

Yeah, that's not his fault. That's what I'm saying. It's a criticism of the performer. He's giving them the. They, like, suck it and, like, bite the extra skin. Yeah, that's not his fault. That's what I'm saying. It's a Christian's karma. He's giving them the tools to do it, though. Well, you were not kidding when you said you were going to get gross with it. Here's a question for you. Would you switch dicks with Manuel? But you have to be uncircumcised.

But you'd get, like, his dick. Because my answer's no. No. But it's not an uncircumcised thing. It's just too big. Oh, no, I'll take that size. but I don't want to have that size. I think you're going to run into a lot of girls going, no, thank you. You are, but you're also going to run into a lot of girls saying, yes, please.

I think you're going to run into more being like. I disagree. Maybe it's something they want to conquer, but they're not going to have fun with it. You will run into more. That's a great question, though. That's a good ATI question, kind of. I think you'll run into more one and dones with girls who are just like, they want to experience that. And then you're going to put it in and be like, ow, ow, ow.

Yeah, that sucks. But, I don't know, you look at, like, the, you know. Who, the professional fuckers he fucks who do a good job taking a dick? They all, listen, the human body is an amazing thing. It can take, it can take, it can take Manuel. Whatever, Manuel's my pick. Fuck you. Even if people chew on his skin or whatever you're complaining about.

Jesus Christ. My butt ate it. Okay. Number two, go go go, Christy. Go go go, my girl. Christy Mack, yeah, that's your girl. I mean, Christy's my bae. Yeah.

That's like your girl. I mean, Chrissy's my bae. Yeah. That's like your one. And that's also where I feel like that's where this draft goes. It's almost maybe we should have done like the Chicago style where it's like pick one old, one new, one this, one that because there's just too many categories, but you can just do it yourself because in the same vein, like I don't think this person is the hottest necessarily. I certainly didn't love her comeback, like i don't think this person is um the hottest necessarily i certainly didn't love her comeback but heather brooke for me is like she like come back really fell flat

no it really felt like i hate i hate to say this because it's like unbelievably creepy but i'm like i wish i was like your manager. I could have, I could have planned a rollout for you much better because when she did come back, it was like the first day was great. She had the Jordan Jersey and everything. She played along and then she just, you'd have been like Lil Nas X.

I had 10 months to play this rollout. I am not going to lose. Because also my rollout would have been like, just blow Jim on camera. My number two pick is Jim. Not even, not even Heather. My number two pick is jim not even not even heather my number two pick is heather and jim they are they are that skinny dick of his is is a is a is a is important to the like like if his dick wasn't so skinny i don't know if she could do what she does you know but but heather brooke like i mean she raised me like like i went from a boy to a man on heather brooke man i just

will forever haunt me when my mom was like, what is IDeepThroat.com? I feel like everyone had that conversation. Yeah, and it's like, oh my god, mom. I want to see. You want to see? It's fucking crazy. Hop on the computer with me, mom. I'll show you.

God. All right. Number three. Gossa. Oh! Yeah. See, that's not fair. Number three. Asa. Oh! Yeah! See, that's not fair.

Because I drafted, I was going to say Asa, but I was drafting for the sake of, like, continuity, like, you raised, like, I was like, it raised me. Okay, I'll go. I'm taking Asa. You're taking Asa? Yes. Because Asa, Asa, I've said this before, it's not even about her porn. I really actually didn't watch much Asa Akira porn. I used to think her name was Asa. I thought her name was Asa Akira because I never even, like, knew her that much. I mean, I thought said this before. It's not even about her porn. I really actually didn't watch much Asa Akira porn. I used to think her name was Asa.

I thought her name was Asa Akira because I never even knew her that much. I mean, I thought it was for a time. I thought it was Asa. You corrected me. I am drafting Asa Akira like the human. I've said this before. She went on Girls Gotta Eat recently. I don't know if they aired it or not, but Reina had texted me, and I set them up because I was like, I don't I can't think of anybody else who is Asakura is truly one of a kind on the entire planet Earth.

Like if you think of someone who has the because of her job, because of being like dominant in it for as long as she is and having like the smarts that she has and like the she's got like the humor that we do. She's smart. Like we like smarter than the average in her industry industry so like there's nobody else like finding the average person that's what i mean yeah she's writing books and she's like you know she has this like weird like japanese educations thing and also like can you know be like a 10-year like dominant porn star like if you if you had to try to pick someone in the world that you know is completely and totally unique i think she's the number one person in the world. I think –

Because it's like LeBron James, but there's Michael Jordan. There's other guys up to par. But there's nobody else like her on the entire planet who can podcast and fuck around and also fuck your feet and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not even really about porn. It's more about everything else with her, the other side of it, that she is one in eight billion. Okay, number three. Man.

I guess I'll have to go with Cechik. I would – when I first saw – I'll trade Yossif back for Cechik. The first time I saw a Cechik check video i literally was like like i texted people okay do you know how i've never done that before ever where were you were where were you i remember the video kennedy's assassination 9-11 bro and pushing bocce balls out of her ass it was bro that i remember i remember the video i couldn't tell you like jenna hayes's first video i saw i couldn't tell you like christy's first video i saw christy uh i couldn't tell you like Jenna Hayes' first video I saw. I couldn't tell you like Christy's first video I saw.

Christy. I couldn't tell you. But like I remember touching the video and I remember seeing it. I remember seeing the thumbnail and I was just like, oh, god damn, that one was really pretty. And then it was like a solo video. I would never click a solo video except she was so pretty. I was like, I got to see this. She was so hot. And then in the video, she was disgusting.

Solo? She was disgusting? Solo, she was disgusting? Solo, she squirted into a champagne glass and then drank it. And I was like, I was texting her. I was like, bro, you guys heard of this fucking Asian person? She is a wild one. Like, yo, you know how fucked up it got me to get a solo video and go, yuck. That is truly a talent. Make someone go,

Jesus Christ, while you're sitting in the room by yourself. It's like a magic trick. It's like, do you want to see a magic trick? I am about to dazzle you, and you're looking at her like, you're just in a room with four walls. What could you possibly do? Watch this. Watch this. Oh, she drank it?

Did she like... Was she like... No. Kevin, she's never done that in her life. No, not once. Never. She's like, what do you mean? I know. I don't get it. On that pretty tip, I'm going to say Tori Black.

Tori Black getting fucked at that college party. You know when you have your go-to's that you go back to the well on? Tori Black getting banged by that dude at the college party is way up there for me. I've probably seen that like thousands of times. I don't have any go-to's. Really? I'm like Bob Fox where he've seen Star Wars like 800 times. That's Tori Black at the college party for me.

I would have gone to premiere night dressed up in a costume if I could have. I would have said, I'm a college boy. I would have gone for that era wearing an Ed Hardy shirt with my hair spiked up like Paulie D. I'm like, will you fuck me? But I will say, actually actually maybe my pick should have been my number four pick is that dude who fucked her.

He was just a random kid at a college party. Four picks in, three guys. Could you imagine being a college kid? He fucked Tori Black right. He threw down and he was just aory black right like he threw down and he was just a random college kid

that guy must have got so many chicks after that like yo he fucked a porn star right like he was throwing dick man three out of four dudes he stayed hard in a rubber drunk at a college party with an audience wearing a condom and he was hard?

Superman. Superman. All right, my number four pick? Dude, my therapist just called me. I'm like, I'm busy. We'll get to you in a moment, sir. You've been on vacation. I'm working.

You know what's hard about my pick now? I'm getting in my own head. About what you're going to leave by the table? That, also people who follow me. What up, Phoenix Marie? You make your pick, Phoenix Marie. It's also a valid pick. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. But also, I remember we have a valid pick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Also, there's a... I remember we have a big porn star following. Yeah. Yeah. All right, Phoenix. It's Phoenix. It's Phoenix.

Phoenix is a very valid pick. Phoenix is a fucking... Phoenix has, let's call it what it is, a magic butthole. It's just a fact. Phoenix has a magic butthole. You're talking about, like, it disappeared. It ate it. It's just a fact It's a magic butthole It disappeared Well um I bullied you into that pick because

The right one is Bella Danger I mean Again not even about porn She made us go viral She's the reason why the fucking card game exists For god sakes Bella Danger has impacted my life professionally She has left a mark on my life.

Asa and Abella have left a mark on my life professionally. To the end of time, I will owe those girls financially. That's crazy. You guys have an Atlanta. I got a place for you. Next time you're in Atlanta, it's on me. Nice blue coat down not far from the airport, right off the interstate. Wow.

Who's on your cutting room floor? I got one more still. Oh, okay. Five. I got a wild one that just popped in my head that's the thing there's so many jade of fire

that's good we got a little diversity that way we're not being called super racist I wouldn't have thought of it except I fell into a jade of fire rabbit hole the other day I don't care for the of fire rabbit hole the other day.

I don't care for the scenes in the braces. The braces? Dude, I think there was a phase. There was a phase where fucking porn stars always had braces. And I think they were all faking it. I think it was just some of that fucking freaky shit. I want to look younger. Not interested.

Take the braids out. Take the fucking braces out. Just fuck. Yeah, you know who was going to be on my list but a little too scary for me because of that? Amber Rain. She was always pretending to be a fucking 12-year-old who was saying the N-word. This chick is crazy, man.

Yeah. RIP. Amber Rain's dead? Amber Rain's super dead. Are you kidding me? That's a surprise? Did I know that? No, I thought she was a real estate agent in Florida. Nah, that's super dead. Are you kidding me? That's a surprise? Did I know that? No, I thought she was a real estate agent in Florida. No, that's Taylor Rain. Oh.

Amber Rain, I believe, is R-A-Y-N-E. Yes, yes. Okay, yes, she's dead. She's big dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, shout out to Bonnie Rotten. She didn't make my list. No Face Girl, she doesn't really count.

No Face Girl doesn't count? Porn star? Tell her that. I was thinking the whole time No Face Girl was going to be pissed. Because she's more your girl than my girl, so you have to take the brunt of this one. Well, I was... Alright. Whatever. Whatever.

I would probably have drafted No Face Guy anyway. We're going to get into our voicemails in a second, but first we got a little inside Barstool, which I know people like. People love the drama. People love the behind-the-scenes talk. But for a long time, there's been like an unspoken beef, really,

between Feidelberg and Rico Bosco. And I'm a rider. I've had my run-ins with Rico. He once retired because of me. We had our beef. We squashed it. I'm officially a rider. But then my right-hand man fights, was always beefing with him to the point that I have

never seen. But beefing isn't the proper terminology. True. Never. It's a cold war. You guys have a cold war. Yeah. Because I was going to say, I have never seen you two interact. Never. I've never seen a hello, a goodbye, a fist bump, a shake, a cold. Yeah, yeah. Because I was going to say, I have never seen you two interact.

Never. I've never seen a hello, a goodbye, a fist bump, a shake, a laugh, a joke. I've never seen you guys on a rundown together. I've never seen you on an appearance. Like, it's like, it's like. It's very, it's very impressive. Because I'm, if we're going to stick with the puppy analogy from earlier, I'm very puppyish. I'm just like, hey, what's up?

Yeah. To like most, I say, hey, what's up? Like, what's up, babe? To anybody. Basically, everyone walked by in the hallway. Yeah. I don't know their names. You said on the rundown that if you walked by Hitler, you would instinctually just give him a head nod. Yeah, and then I would be like, ah, shit.

I didn't mean to. I take that back. But I would just be like, what's up? Ah, fuck. So I say hi. I fist pound everyone. And on the other side of things, I know from Rico's point of view that he's not like a fan, but he respects you because he's like he's a made man. He's one of the OGs.

So I know like if you were just some jamoke, like the dude to do like he talks shit about it he's like fuck that guy but he would never say that about you so there is a level of respect there so there's a certainly level of respect i respect the fact that he fucking ices me out yeah like there's there's this mutual respect in a cold war grudge that just doesn't need to exist. But Rico's beef, he says that he says that Well, we can hit you on the hand. This is an important part of this, is the fact that I never

knew why we had beef. And I knew, Dan told me this weekend or before the weekend, Dan was like, no, he says he has people in your inner circle who told him that you used to talk shit about him. And I laughed that off. I was like, no, he says he has people in your inner circle who told him that you used to talk shit about him. And I laughed that off. I was like, my inner circle is – first of all, I don't have an inner circle because I'm not fucking Drake.

Second of all, like, my circle is like three people big. Yeah. And I don't think you, like, would sit around with anybody talking shit. And I never would just bring up, like, hey, by the way. And, okay, so I would never just be like – Randomly talking shit, yeah. I don't talk about work with my friends. Right, right. Whether it be work, actual stuff or employees or whatever.

Right. And so I was just like, what the fuck does that even mean? And I thought it was ridiculous. And I tweeted that because someone asked me. Like very shortly after Dan explained to me why I was in a beef, someone tweeted me, oh, I guess because the dozen stuff got announced. So someone was like why why does rico hate fights and i quote tweeted it and said apparently there's someone in my inner circle who has told rico i'm constantly talking shit about him and which was a bit of an exaggeration

from what dan had said but you know basically the point and uh and then someone was like oh i tell you only talk about yourself and i was like no no no like i went through a real phase where i i just call my best friends and bitched about a guy who called a radio show that they didn't listen to. Yeah. Because at the time, this all apparently went down about seven years ago. When he was on Pick'Em, and that was it, right? I don't even think he was on Pick'Em.

Pick'Em was a podcast. Yeah, he would call into like, I don't even know. It was multiple years before I moved to New York. Right. And that was five years ago. Right. So it's at least six moved to New York. Right. And that was five years ago. Right. So it's at least six or seven years ago. Right.

And I had a friend who follows me on Twitter, obviously, who she texted me and she's like, wait, you really don't know what Rico's talking about? I was like, no, I have no fucking idea what Rico's talking about. And this girl had a friend like one summer. Like it was like kind of like a fleeting friend. They were close at the time, but they're not lasting friends. And she's like, that summer, that girl I was friends with was like best friends with Rico or like they're family friends with Rico.

And she was asking you about him a ton. And eventually you were just like, look, I don't even know the guy. Because I literally did not know the guy. I don't remember this. I have no recollection of this interaction at all whatsoever. And from her mouth, she tells me that. I just said, look, I don't even fucking know the guy.

Which is true. I didn't know Rico from Adam. Rico could have walked in, punched me in the face. I would not be able to give a police report for who it was. He hit his face. I literally would not have been able to say what this person looks like, who he is. I didn't listen to Pickham or whatever show it was he called into. So I had to pick him up. I don't even fucking know the guy is apparently what I said.

And maybe he has a different story. Maybe my story is wrong. I don't know because, again, I don't remember it. Well, we're playing a game of telephone too. So it could go from I don't know the guy to like, yeah, he's a fucking nobody. I don't even know who he is. Something like that. Which is not something I would say about anybody.

Right, right. But yeah, so now that I'm aware of what – because I always just thought it was like – I don't think anyone really knows with Rico. Like if it's all real. I thought it was just like part of something Rico does where he just picks a random person. He's like, fuck that person. I hate them. And I was just like, of something Rico does where he just picks a random person. It's like, fuck that person. I hate them. And I was just like, all right, whatever. So when me and him had beef and he retired from Barstool, being a Barstool fan via his iPhone app, which is Notes app, which is the funniest thing in the world. He said that you tweeted out a celebration gif.

It was like everybody dance now. That'd be funny. I might have. There's no real vitriol behind it. And then what was the other one? It was like, everybody dance now. That'd be funny. I might have. There's no real vitriol behind it. And then on a KFC Radio episode, we were talking about celebrity boxing matches or something, and you were like, I'd like to fight Rico or something like that. So those are his two. Because now it's going to be like, rub him out, rub him out.

Right, right, right. Got a big fat check, maybe. So then we were talking on the rundown though and like he he's like it sounds like he's like nobody even needs an apology nobody like cares really it sounds like this cold war will just keep going on though i was like so what do you need like an apology and he was like no no it's just two ships in the night i respect him we're just not friends and you're saying the same thing so it's just like okay i was talking to was talking to Dan about it. This weekend when I was like, when that girl texted me,

I texted Dan, I was like, dude, I got to the bottom of it. Here's what happened. And he's like, oh man, you got to go all in and be like, Rico, I'm sorry I didn't speak exceptionally highly of you back in 2013. I am, I'm sorry.

He's the greatest guy in the world. I just didn't know him. I said, I don't know him. I will probably be in more trouble in Rico world for putting him on speakerphone during the rundown when I said I wouldn't, which is a sleazy move. I would never do that if it was anything serious, but this whole thing is patently ridiculous, and it was good for the audience, so whatever. It was.

So I feel like you guys will just continue. We keep using the ships in the night thing. I think it's more that you guys are just parallel ships, and you're just going to the same place at the same speed, never to intersect. Yeah, it's super awkward. Yeah. Just like two people walking at the same pace. Yes, yes, yeah. All right. What, I'm not saying hi?

Okay, fine. Yeah. So, you know, it's one of the – I'll be a big man here. I'm going to say bigger man. Rico, I am sorry. I apologize for not – for not, first of all, not noticing why we were in a beef, for not squashing said beef, and for, I guess, not knowing you. Are you apologizing for the gif?

I mean, the gif. Are you apologizing for the gif? That's like a silly thing to apologize for. Are you apologizing for the gif? That's just like, we're just fucking joking around on the internet, man. Now, this is the guy who says, you know, he made Saturdays for DJs, he supported the slogan. I couldn't follow that.

He just said that, you know, well, here's the thing. So was he mad I didn't thank him for that? No, he said he didn't need to thank you. He said he's a team guy. He was just using that as a... So many people were making Saturdays for blank shirts. I don't know who was doing anything. Well, you also, people have to realize that John didn't get any money off that. If you made Saturdays for the DJ shirt...'t know who was doing anything well you also people have to realize that John didn't get any money off if you made Saturdays in for the DJ shirt

you probably made more money than I did yeah you probably made like you probably you made 10k you probably made 5k he probably got a five thousand dollar bonus for that and so uh I will not talk to anyone from that company until I'm apologized to do you promise so so like so there was a a spongebob meme talking about how Rico said i won't talk to anybody from the company but then he's talking to them that's really about it oh okay i apologize but look at that look i don't get i'm sorry i am i am an easy if someone says i demand an apology i'm not one of those people who are like i refuse i stick to my guns i don't have guns i'm sorry i have no conviction so there you have it rico the ball is in your court and does the cold war continue or will will there be a new Barstool friendship?

Tune in next week. Voicemails today are brought to you by Icon. Yeah, baby. Let's go. Fights is a big skier. Anybody who likes to hit the slopes, ski, snowboard, whatever. Maybe a big apres ski guy like myself. I'll buy a season pass just to hang out at the bottom of the mountain,

hang out in a hot tub drinking some spiked hot chocolate. So whoever you are, whatever type of skier you are, hit the slopes with an Icon Pass. I mean, this is one of those things. This is like the original movie pass thing where it was like $5 and you get to go to every movie ever until the end of time. It's an absolute no-brainer. If you ski twice a year, get an Icon Pass.

Yeah, listen to this. It's crazy. Each pass starts at $399 for an adult. For an adult. So, I mean, yeah, if you go skiing like one time, it's like a couple hundred bucks, right? I mean, I went skiing three weeks ago, 200 bucks a day. So if you ski two days this entire season

this pass pays for itself and you're an avid skier you gotta get the icon pass own the season own the stories own the stoke with icon pass it's up to 200 on child savings on child passes up to 100 in renewal discounts and there's a new payment plan if you can't afford it up front you can play zero dollars down with zero percent and just pay it as you go. And first of all, that's insane. I'll take one. Just give it to me. Yeah, it's an IOU.

But also, the mountains that you can go to with this are insane. What do we got? I'm not even going to read them all because there are too many of them. I'm just going to read the ones either i've been to have heard of we got mammoth mountain big bear squaw steamboat aspen snowmass winter park arapaho basin a basin by the way i've been told is the steepest skeeble slope in the north in north america i've skied it whatever no big deal um you got big sky jackson hole deer valley snowbird stratton killington sugar bush sunday river sugar loaf loon like if if you like going to the Deer Valley, Snowbird, Stratton, Killington, Sugarbush, Sunday River, Sugarloaf, Loon. If you like going to the good mountains in the west or in the east, just get an Icon Pass.

How about this? Get an Icon. Can I have one for free, please? For real, seriously. I'll buy one, but also I'd like it for free. This says for the 21 and 22 season. So I feel like you get the spring of 21 and then next winter too when it turns 22? That's crazy.

So you get this year and next. 40 unique Icon Pass destinations. John just rattled off a bunch of them. An entire season to look forward to. So go to Icon Pass. That's I-K-O-N Pass dot com and get your ski pass today. What was that Edelman video? He retired.

Oh shit, really? Play that video. Foxboro Forever. What was that Edelman video? He retired. Oh, shit. Really? Play that video. Foxboro Forever, it says. Him sitting in the middle of the field. About four minutes. But just play at the beginning or when he's talking at least. That makes a lot of sense.

What? That he would retire. Yeah. Like, where's he going to go? Fucking play for the Jets or something? No, he's going to play for the fucking... I'm actually a little surprised. Play for Tampa?

Yeah. Well, maybe he's pulling a Gronk, you know? Oh, that's going to go play for fucking – I'm actually a little surprised. Play for Tampa? Yeah. Well, maybe he's pulling a Gronk, you know? Oh, that's cool. Man, you know. Dude, I'm going to play a video real quick. I like all the Patriots in real life, which is tough. I love Willie McGintis now. We're Instagram friends.

Oh, yeah. Vinatieri was cool when I met him. Obviously, Edelman's been great. Came on our show and everything. I just hope that I meet Tom Brady, and he sucks. I want to hate one of them for life. This is the best. Is it not working? The Vine?

Literally my favorite. Yeah, Vines I don't play anymore. Oh, here it is. When he gets fucking smoked by Cam Chancellor, and he laughs and says, Ha ha ha, I fucking love getting hit! Yeah. I love getting hit.

I love getting hit. I love getting hit. I love getting hit. He gets rocked by one of the hardest hitters of all time. Yeah. And he's just like, I love getting hit. I mean, that's what you gotta do. He's probably hardest hitters of all time. Yeah. And he's just like, I love getting hit. I mean, that's what you got to do. He's probably like, oh, my God, I'm concussed, but I'm going to say this.

Dude, he is the fucking man. Yeah, he's been great, man. It is sad. It's a sad day. He's one of the, he is a Marchand-esque where it was like you went from like pest to just fucking legit threat, like fuck. Dude, another one. And I mean I mean he ruins

you know he ruined my part of my life with that catch the one with like one inch off the ground yeah that would have been the end that would be the end of that Super Bowl right that was like third down or fourth down or something like that I don't remember what down it was I want to say I want to say that was like catastrophic it would have been yeah maybe yeah it would have been like fourth and long it would have been you know catastrophically bad

and he and I remember he also I forget if he yeah I think, yeah, I think he was the, I think he caught the winning Super Bowl in the Seattle game too. Obviously Butler ended up being the bigger story there, but I believe he caught the last one. Yeah. Where he fucking. Yeah, I mean he just.

Congrats, man. Hell of a career. Legend. Probably going to work here soon. Yeah, probably. I like how we've reached the point where we just say that about all athletes. I know. Probably going to work here.

Like Paul Pierce liked to tweet. I actually do think Paul Pierce will end up here. Do you? I mean, Dave was like, I'm making a run at him. If Dave's – sometimes these things are like, you know, it's not up to us. But if Dave is like, I want Paul Pierce to work here. Like, where is Paul Pierce going to go? I guess if it's like –

Paul Pierce wants to be in media. If I was Dave, I would go to him and be like, we want you – and everyone keeps talking about Perkins. I don't know. Whoever it is that like Paul Pierce's guy is. I want you to be the next Steven Jackson and Matt Barnes for us. And I mean to me, if you're going to be – But also I think it's hard to say the next. What is current?

Well, yeah, but you can be contemporaries with. You can be – or be better than. I don't know. Like blow them out of the water. Tell better stories. I feel like the basketball podcast is a – Saturated saturated i feel like it is maybe i'm wrong but but but the difference is and the reason why i don't know anything about the reason why stephen jackson and barnes stick out is because they yeah i'm glad someone got it well i mean i don't think there's anything to

catch you don't know anything like i didn't think that was a joke that's just a fact you don't know anything about the industry i said it to be like well we're on a podcast saying that you know how to do it but you don't know anything about the industry yeah i don't know anything about anything yeah you know nothing about i know nothing about nothing put that on a shirt um i just feel like paul pierce and again people keep talking about perkins if they were to tell real stories i think they would have a good podcast. You know? Yeah. Those guys just seem like guys who have stories that,

you know, you get Garnett on there talking real shit and talking about hating the, the heat. I think KG is a podcast. Yeah. He had something like, uh,

the area, area 21 or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So maybe not. Cause that's not exactly thriving,

but I do remember hearing that's gone viral here and there where he tells stories. Oh yeah. All you gotta do is just tell real stories. Right. You could be, it could be a basketball. You could be in any, any sport. You could be a basketball. You could be in any,

any sport. You could be in music. You could be in entertainment, anything. If you tell behind the scenes stories that are true and real. And like, you might, you know,

piss some people off and might ruffle some feathers, but it's like, Hey, it's a good story. Uh, you're gonna be successful. Like people will always tune in here and there for that. So,

uh, congrats to, well, I guess congrats or whatever. Congrats on a great career. And like, I, I always want to say congrats.

You don't have to go to training camp. You don't have to get your head bashed in. You can just chill and enjoy life now. Probably pretty good. And walking away relatively. Maybe one day you'll be in the morale. Hey, Jules. You want to come find Italian construction zones with us and critique them while we pull our shirts up?

We might not let you pull your shirt up. Let's make it an official offer because it's men of retirement age. Official offer to Julian Edelman. You can be an umarelle slash a beignet with us. Yep. You looking for something to do this summer? Pretty good. Hit us up.

You went from Brady and Gronk to fights in KFC. It's a lot easier, though. It's not as hard. I can make you do push-ups. I feel like that's something they do. I was going to say. Everyone knows football players do push-ups. I feel like that's something they do. I was going to say. Everyone knows football players do push-ups. All right, voicemails today are brought to you by, or we already did that.

We already did that. Okay. Yeah, let's go. What up, KFC, Fights, Jackie, Nick? I have an interesting question for you. I was watching the Masters all day, and for some reason this thought popped in my head, maybe a little bit of three-cheat.

Do you think that Jesus, if he was a real person, do you think Jesus was the first cult leader sociopath of all time and just had a cult of people that ended up telling his story and spreading his story when realistically it all just started from this random cult. Let me know, boys. I mean, yeah. Yeah, I think that religion is the biggest, you know, snake it till you make it, fake story, marketing campaign Greatest story ever told slash

sold ever. No, so wait a minute. Jesus was the first like cult hero. St. Peter was like the cult leader. Like the church is the problem.

JC did, you know, JC existed. JC was a real person. That's not debatable. He's real. Is it not debatable? Yeah. I mean, he's real. Like there's historical accounts that that person existed.

Whether or not he's the son of God is what the debate is. That's the story of St. Peter. I didn't know he was even like definitely real. I think him and Muhammad are like real people. Okay. And they, you know, they have very parallel like. And I think that St. Peter came along and told, St. Peter is like the Hollywood agent who like got in his ear, you know, and was like, we're going to fucking build your whole thing up, you know, because, and then, you know,

then Jesus is dead and they're like, let's fucking tell the story and run this church. Let's find a guy who looks just like him. Yeah, to come out of the tomb and all that shit. Yeah. Who knows what, that could have, or it just could have been a fucking story, just like him. Yeah, to come out of the tomb and all that shit. Who knows what... Or it just could have been a fucking story. Just straight up a story. Like, yo, did you hear a couple towns over in Jerusalem

that dude rolled out of the tomb or wherever he fucking got killed? People started believing it. So Jesus is the first cult, whatever you call that. Like the L. Ron Hubbard. L. Ron Hubbard started it too, right? Did he? Yeah. Whoever's like the centerpiece of your cult is, where you believe in that person

as Jesus, but... He would be... Not Zorb. It's... He'd be the fucking... Whatever the alien is. There's definitely an alien. Right, right, right. And then L. Ron Hubbard would be like St. Peter. Yeah. Facts. So, yeah, same thing with like, you know, Heaven's Gate, like tea and dough ran it,

but they believe that like the comet or whatever. There's always like the thing. Haley's Comet. Yeah, Hale-Bopp Comet. Hale-Bopp Comet. And then, so, yeah, Jesus would be like the focal point, and then I think St. Peter would be the true cult leader. But yes, final answer on all this is yes.

Yeah, I didn't even know it was a question. Yeah. Of course. I mean, they're, you know, it's just tough with these people who believe in these things because they're going to be mad. It just is what it is. It is. Cult also has a negative connotation. For sure.

Probably rightfully so. I would say. I can't imagine why. Like, okay, listen. The Catholic Church, horrible stuff. Cult-like stuff. Right. But also the idea of, like, Christianity has also spread, like, a lot of – if you do Christianity properly, it's a good cult.

It's a cult of, like, goodness. Yeah, people do good. But then people exploit everything and do it wrong and all that shit. Pervert the idea of it. But I'm saying, you know, the idea that there can be a cult that's just like, we are a cult who, like, we're like a gang. We kill people. Christianity is a cult. The idea was, like, to spread love cult. We're like a gang. We kill people. Christianity is a cult. The idea was to spread love and all that shit.

Which they did by killing people. Yeah. Yeah, you know, between the Crusades and the pedophilia, never mind. It's a bad cult. Next question. KFC, Fights, Jackie, Nick, what's up? I'm just listening to the newest episode, and the guy was telling a story about how somebody, he was a cashier or something,

saw a text about ordering shrooms from a friend. It got me thinking about my time in college working as a cashier at Dick's Sporting Goods, and a lady comes in. She's mid-30s. I was like 21 at the time so could be even younger I don't know the she was there with her mom and her like three-year-old kid and she had a coupon on her phone and she goes to put the phone down for me to scan

and Pornhub is up and I got me thinking you know like what you would say in that situation when somebody hands you a phone and it's just porn. And then I'd see me being the professional didn't say anything immediately called over. Every single one of my coworkers told them the story. But just got me thinking again, you know, what would you say in that situation? And they're handing you a coupon or something and it's just porn and they're with their family. So I'll shut up and it's just porn. And they're with their family. So I'll shut up and listen.

Pretty simple. I'd be like, you think this is something? Watch Adrian Hachechi does in a room by herself. Or would you rather watch Jenna Hayes' asshole eat a cream pie? I mean... Like, oh, you're watching the fucking Tame stuff, huh? I got something for you. I just put on a fucking, like, pegging video.

You want to trade? You ever seen a fucking dude with tits fuck a chick? Here, watch this one. A dude with tits fuck a chick. So, wait, he was saying this was, like, a hot mom? Like, an older? Like, is that what? I didn't get the hot.

It's definitely a woman. I mean mean there is something hotter about that though you know it's one of the it is like it's pretty cool it's like it's just a mom at the grocery store and you just you're like you know that that drum riff you know what i mean it's like oh okay yeah i like that there's there's something about just like like we all know everyone in the world watches porn, but just hearing it is another level. It's like anything but having sex. When you say something about it, it's even better. Right, right, right. I'm an auditory.

I'm an oral listener. I'm an oral getter-offer. I'm an oral getter-offer. I remember the girl I was dating at the time i uh opened up her laptop and at the time it was old enough where there was like always you know there's like always like a live jasmine pop up or whatever it wasn't live jasmine but it was one of those that it was like uh ashley madison whatever it was they had she had x'd out of the porn hub but the pop-up was still there and i was like i know what you were doing, and that is hot.

Even though I already knew it, but knowing it made it better. Have you seen the TikToks and the videos where people, you play the Pornhub drum for your girl to see what they react? You're in the car, you put it on the speakers or whatever, and they're filming it. I also don't ever hear the drum. Is that an older thing they don't do anymore? Absolutely not. It's on every single porn. That's what's funny is that you don't even realize

it because it's in every single porn and if uh you know that childish gambino song redbone it's like the same exact drum beat as that so that somebody made it so that it's like the porn hub thing into nothing it's also BFF I just clicked like the first video on Pornhub alright I'm gonna click another one what is this

okay this one has a Pornhub intro so let's see what this one yeah that's gotta be it yeah okay so so what was the other one you watched like a brand before that i guess it's maybe if it's like a studio producing bffs what are dave and josh finally making porn together i've been i've been waiting for that i've been waiting for that to happen. What a headline on it, too. It just says, Cute... Girls, I guess.

Cute flash their tits to play my arcade games. What did you say the word? What? You said cute. It's just a double word. Oh, okay. I thought it was like a slur or something here. It's like, damn.

But so the amount of chicks who are like, right, like they look up from their phone like, what? And then the guy starts laughing. It's like, yeah. It's like, yeah, because girls know the fucking Pornhub drums too. Women watch porn. It's 21st century, bro. Get with the times. 2021.

Next up. By the way, wait, do we say this on this podcast, the 90s thing? Probably not. Not on this podcast, the 90s thing? Probably not. Not on this podcast. Speaking of the 21st century and 2021, I heard today talking about it. And this is just basic math. It doesn't make sense. But I heard that talking about the 90s today is the same thing talking about the 60s and the 90s.

Crazy. And that sucks. I mean, we're old. that sucks. I mean, that's... We're old. It sucks. I also don't really care. I'm surprised that that even affected you. It didn't at all.

I was trying to be like, oh... I mean, it definitely is like a whoa, but it's... I actually... I have not given a fuck about my age ever until this year. This year you did? This year maybe. I don't know why. I think I'm old enough and I'm now around enough young people like this fucking bitch

and these other people who are so young where I'm like, oh man, I'm not even in the same fucking zip code. We don't. We don't. We're worlds apart. We are. We are very, very far away. Yeah.

It's crazy. Crazy. Next up. Hey, KFC, and the kick-ass team behind you guys. So a new listener as of Christmas. Love the comical and somewhat relatable content you guys put out.

I think it's just so funny that there are people discovering our podcast right now. That guy's been listening since Christmas? Does this make any sense to you? I think it's just so funny that there are people discovering our podcast right now. That guy's been listening since Christmas? Yeah, that is crazy. Does this make any sense to you? Do you even understand why we want to kill ourselves and stuff? None of this should make sense to you. You have like a thousand episodes to listen before any of this is a good show to you.

But okay, enjoy it. Thanks for coming. Welcome aboard. And he's like calling and everything. He's so into it. He's like, I got to get involved. Bro, imagine like just listening.

This is the first episode ever. You listen to the first hour of this episode. You're like, what are these guys talking about? These fucking idiots. And then the second hour

is just us talking about porn. I mean, this is nuts. So a bit of a backdrop. So, happily married, father of three, young kid in Canada.

So yesterday, I got home from a bike and characteristically decided to finish dinner and started putting the bowl an hour before dinner. So, finished dinner and started putting the kids' lunches together and ended up making a mean PB&J on fresh bread. And I decided to take a large bite out of it before wrapping it up for my first grade kids lunch anyways next day kid comes home super pissed with a note from his teacher

that he lost his shit at lunch son and wife are pretty mad at me but I think in time they'll see the humor am I the asshole for taking a are pretty mad at me. But I think in time, they'll see the humor. Am I the asshole for taking a bite out of my kid's lunch as a practical joke? I mean, I said, like,

I can't believe, you know, it's so weird this guy's, like, fighting the... I love this guy. No wonder he picked it up, no problem. He's taking bites out of his kid's sandwich. I can't... I mean, people can be upset by that.

Like, teachers and... Wait, teachers were mad about it? Yeah. I missed that part. I missed that part. Mom and the teacher was mad? No not school shooting oh jeez i actually saw that earlier i was looking at twitter i was like oh school shooting yeah yeah see i see like what's happening it's like element retired we're talking about that and right there on the screen

it's like kids are dead we're like whatever um okay so wait so teachers got mad it was the teacher the kid lost his shit at lunch so like the teacher wrote a note about it. The mom got mad. Oh, well, yeah. Listen, if you have a fucking psychopathic kid who's going to throw a tantrum, then I guess you can't be eating a sandwich, but... Did you cum in my burrito? I guess the kid might have been like, who the fuck took a bite out of my sandwich? And they're like, it's your abusive father. It's your negligent father, kid.

I don't know how old the child is, but I feel like you realize that the sandwich has been in your possession the entire time, right? Right. That's what I mean. You just unwrapped the tinfoil, bro. I guess you can rewrap tinfoil. I'm actually going to defend the kid a little bit. Lunch is a fucking war zone, man. Yeah, you can't be cutting your kid's legs out from under him.

You've got to give him good snacks, and you've got to set him up for success at lunch. That literally, I think we talked about this before. Malcolm Gladwell in Tipping Point, he talks about how like your name really sets up where you will be in life because like people – A through F, whatever, like in the front row a lot. They pay attention more, all that stuff. And I think how your parents sent you to school will also – which i i part of it means like did you grow up with money because you'll be popular at school but but within that realm significant it's like it's like did you did you send your kid to school with like a five-star binder and a trapper keeper or did you give him like shitty stuff did he have a crappy backpack did he give him shitty lunches

do you you know all that stuff for like you're gonna get made fun of you're gonna get bullied you're gonna get like you're gonna feel less than it's like you know you shouldn't spoil them but i think you got to give your kids i don't think of it as spoiling i think it was like you got to give your kids ammo yeah you know you can't you can't send them to a knife a gun with a knife gunfight with a knife you know what i mean like they got to have a snack to trade something that makes them look cool keep up with the j Joneses on their sneakers and their clothes a little bit. You know what I mean? Like, you can't be like, here's my poor kid.

Yeah. You know? Here's his fucking textbooks wrapped in a brown paper. Yeah, I can't do it. Which my mom did to me. But whatever. Just draw cool shit on it. Last Voice Melody is brought to you by One Championship,

the largest martial arts organization in the world, and it's on TNT every Wednesday night in April. That's free television right after AEW Wrestling. So you can watch AEW and have some fun with the scripted stuff and enjoy the entertainment, and then right out of that, right after that, One Championship

with some fucking killers, man. I saw Brendan Schaub reviewing them the other day because I don't know these guys the same way they do. Apparently, they were like, he was like, like yo they don't give a fuck at one championship about who they match people up with apparently they put like a like a former champion in the other league against like some jamoke and he just like killed him really so it's like that's awesome yeah it's like old school shit like ufc's huge now but there's all these rules and regulations and stuff and it's like these are the new kids in the block who are like we don't give a shit

let's get it on russell crowe to have Russell Crowe fight a lion later. Right. They got the Russian killer, Timothy Nastyukin. I mean, the word nasty is literally in his name. Come on. He knocked out Eddie Alvarez in less than one minute. So he gets his shot at the one championship gold when he faces the lightweight champion, Christian Lee. It's a clash of knockout artists with Lee holding the record for most finishes in one

and Nasty Yukin for having the fastest KO in history. It's going to be fireworks. Plus, there's the kickboxing world championship with Janet Todd and her quest for gold as they do some Muay Thai fighting. And so you get the guys and the girls all on TNT2. Wednesday night after AEW Dynamite, 10 p.m. The prelims start at 8.30 on Bleacher Report.

Fuck that. But go to TNT and watch the one championship at 10 p.m. Eastern after AEW Dynamite. Oh, by the way, the photo of you and Joey kissing. Yeah, look at that. Look at that. That's what you call sex, folks. That's security right there.

Hey, KFC, Bites, Nick, Jackie. I got an oldie but a goodie, and I just wanted to say, is there any better feeling than winning an argument while using the exact tactics that the person that you're arguing with uses on you. Like, I just won an argument with my wife of three years by doing exactly what she does to me, and I don't think I've ever felt better. I know that makes me an asshole, but I feel really good about this.

I just wanted your guys' take. First of all, winning an argument, period' take. Thanks. Love the pod. First of all, winning an argument, period, is the greatest feeling in the world. It's better than sex. It's better than love. It's better than winning money, making money. When you win an argument, you got someone dead to rights. It's the greatest feeling ever.

When you do it, when you beat them at the score. But when you beat them at their own game. I don't know what that means. I don't know anyone I've ever dated or argued with. I don't really know their style. That probably says a lot about you and your relationships. I don't even know what my significant other is like. I don't know their fighting style. It's funny.

It's like we're talking about the one championship here. I'm a southpaw, and she fights Muay Thai. Give me an example of styles you've had to deal with. I think it's more like if your girl is a stickler for this thing, her one pet peeve, and then she's doing it to you. And it's kind of like, oh, yeah, when you complain about me. I don't know. Let's say she always is upset that you don't call or text enough. And that's how I'm thinking. He probably I don't know about argument styles the same way either.

But when you when you're always in the doghouse or something and then they do that, it's great. You know, like there are times where I don't even it doesn't make me mad because I know because I'm always upset when I'm in trouble for it. I'm like, this is so fucking stupid. But then when you do that same thing to me, you better believe I'm getting my pound of flesh, which is when you know a relationship is over, by the way. That I pinpointed. I was like the moment that I was like, I'm not actually mad. I don't care. I'm not upset. But I have to do this to keep the score even.

Like it can't always just be that I'm the one in trouble. So I'm going to stick this to you. But I'm totally making it up. I don't care that you didn't call me or that you did whatever you know what i mean but i have to at least like try to like even the playing ground to the playing field here i think that's when you are for sure you should dump the person i think i'm the most annoying person to fight with there is oh yeah i think it would be i've seen you in action it's terrible you see me in action yeah like? Whatever you have to say specifically. But like – okay, so you explain to me what I do.

You'll – well, you – very rarely do you care about something, but then when you do, you like stick to your guns and it's like, no, that's like absolutely not like the right answer. Well, yeah. Yeah. You give me a wrong answer. I want to make sure you know you're wrong. But then – Stand there in your wrongness and be wrong exactly and that's like it's like rubbing your nose in the carpet but the only and that's why i only have ever lost

the fight i'm like undefeated i'm like floyd yeah because i don't you only do what you're right unless i'm positive yes unless i'm positive you're wrong i used to say that about about dave a lot dave has like never lost an internet fight but he only picks the ones he can win but it's just amazing how often other people are wrong yeah i'm not even like picking one i'm winning i'm right you're wrong i'm going i know i'm right if there's ever any doubt i i won't make a scene about it because i know there's some doubt and if i know and if i uh they're playing where i know i'm in the wrong so you don't get you don't get that out of me because i go ah fuck you're right which is the best like you know you know you don't even get that like you don't get to hit the bag you'll get me smart you know what the I just go, ah, fuck, you're right. Which is the best. You don't even get that, like, you don't get to hit the bat, you don't get to be smart.

You know what the best way to win a fight is? Admit you're wrong. Concede the fight and you don't actually lose the fight. I do that more often than I, because it doesn't get to a fight. It's like, I can't believe you did that. You're right, that was fucked up. My bad. That is what happy wife, happy wife, happy life is supposed to be.

Happy wife, happy life turns into like your wife just like steam rolls over you and you end up being miserable happy wife happy life should be like when you really are wrong like just fucking admit no problem earlier i was like i'm sorry i didn't yeah yeah yeah right i'm saying i am i have no problem but i'm not like i'm like i will stick to my god's idea. All right. If everybody would do that, divorce rates down, happiness up, the whole nine. It's when you are like, I am right here or like I didn't do anything wrong or whatever. And I still just have to concede to keep you happy to shut you the fuck up. Then you're going to end up being bitter and miserable.

But yeah, if you're wrong, just admitting you're wrong or admitting you fucked up or whatever has become a lost art, man. I mean, every time I get canceled or whatever, like the Kaepernick stuff or when I actually did something wrong, I'm just like, yeah, that was a bad blog. And people are like, well, what do we do now? Yeah, right. What next? We've never seen this tactic. It just totally disarms at the fight ends and everybody's happy. I'm writing a new Sun Tzu.

But you should only do that when you're really wrong. Yeah. When I genuinely did something that's fucked up or something I regret doing, I was like, yeah, that was fucked up. I'm sorry. That was stupid. And then everybody was just like... Right.

I wanted to fight. I wanted to yell. I wanted to prove you wrong. But that's why what he's talking about is so good. Anyway, can I get you a glass of wine? So whether it's a style or a hypocrisy thing, where you're talking about the substance of the fight, whatever, when you win one, this is more for like – if you're really getting excited that you're like dunking on your boyfriend or girlfriend early in the stage, it's like that's probably not a good sign. But when it's like we're doing this for life.

No, we're not going anywhere. Three years in. Yeah, that's when you can like – yeah, I want to fuck you and i want to beat you in arguments yeah it's been yeah three years in you probably realistically five six seven years into a relationship then you can let it rest on graves yeah start running up the score all right young blood one of my favorite video uh favorite interviews ever this guy is a trip and you know it from the jump street man uh the accent the style the stories the the uh the attitude all of it he was awesome it's presented by 3g perfect i mean pop some 3g listen to some young blood music listen to this interview with us it's all vibes baby i mean he said that like so many times i was like see good example like

yeah last year i would have been like yeah man it's a vibe and this year i'm like no i think i don't know what you're talking about yeah last year i would have been like yeah man it's a vibe and this year i'm like no i think i don't know what you're talking about yeah last year i would have been like yo like me john youngblood on a spaceship listening uh eating three chi it'll be a vibe and this now this year i'm like that sounds like so much fun youngblood have a good time i'll be at home you guys can tell me all about it when you get back i I'm old. You don't want me there. It's fine. So 3C on a spaceship with young blood, man. What a world that would be. Because 3C is the Delta 8

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Uh, it's psychoactive, so it will give you the buzz. So please respond, please use it responsibly. You must be 21 or older to buy it. give you the buzz so please respond please use it responsibly you must be 21 or older to buy it and you can get five percent off your order when you go to three chi the number three chi.com uh and use promo code kfc 2021 i mean these guys are just like legal dealers folks i'm just gonna say it just go go to the website do it that way it's safe

it's it's regulated it safe. It's regulated. It's good. It's real. And it can get delivered right to your door. Go through them. It's a much better alternative than whatever else you're going to do. Go to 3cheat.com. Promo code KFC 2021 for 5% off your order. Youngblood, let's go.

All right, guys. What's up, bro? What's cooking, man? How's it going? Oh, shit. I need to voice no more. Alright, lads. What's up, bro? What's cooking, man? How are we? Oh, shit, I need to voice them. I'll tell you that. Alright, cool. I'm doing that right now. How's it going, boys? You alright? Good, man. How you doing, man?

I fucking love the accent. I love it, man. I'm alright, man. I'm alright. I'm voice recording now, so whatever you want, we can get started if you like, or we can just... Oh, you voice recording so we can't cut this up and get you in trouble? Is that what you do? That's smart.

That's what I'm saying. Do you know what I'm saying? So if I say something I'm not supposed to, we can cut it up and we can pretend to be faking it. Bro, you fucked us. That's exactly what we do. We just cut shit up and make it seem like you say rigged. It's all gotcha shit. We're just trying to take you down right now.

I know, bro. You're literally just going to cancel me four times on this, aren't you? I mean, don't worry. If you're getting canceled for something on this show, we're definitely getting canceled too. So we're all good. I mean, dude, to be honest, I get canceled every bloody day now. Do you? Yeah.

I feel like we talk all the time about how the whole cancel thing is blown out of proportion. I hear the word every now and then. I roll my eyes. But I do feel like it happens, I don't know six times a year to me it's like whatever what do you i mean whatever it's yeah what do you get canceled for i mean i mean just whatever man i don't know i just say just people like to twist things don't they i mean it's like twister but it's all right man it's it's all it's all vibes you know i'm saying i don't because i'm lame and you're cool.

You speak too cool for us, dude. Yeah, like, just your whole look, your whole aesthetic, and your whole vibe is very different from us. So when you're like, it's all vibes, man, I'm like, no, it's not. Like, it's vibes for you. We're just lame. I'm kind of liking your vibe, though. Look at your room.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, we got all sorts of, of like shit on the walls and whatnot. I actually said this. I said before the interview, I was like, I think we're going to all get along here. I think this guy, because you just seem to let it fucking rip, man. That's what we do. We've been doing it for like 10 years. It's like, we're just talking, you know, we always talk. We're talking

about fucking and drinking and partying. Can I just tell you something? Yeah. My fucking mates are pretending to shag each other behind the lap. Flip it around. Let's see it. Let me see it. I'm flipping it. Yo, don't be a coward now. Yeah, now's the time to shine. Come on.

Show us what was going on. Yeah, go on. Show us what was going on. I couldn't possibly. Don't be a coward now. I mean, I don't give a shit. So wait, what is this? Show me out that window a second there. You look like you're a coward now. I mean, I don't give a shit. So wait, what is this?

Show me out that window a second there. You look like you're in a nice... That's the window. That's the house. That's the vibe. Yeah, so where...

That looked nice, man. We should live in like... When you said that's the house, you're not in the house right now? Were you in like... No, I'm in the house. No, I'm in the house. I'm in the house,

but that's the outside of the house. Yeah, that's how it works. Indoors and outdoors. I'm in the house. No, I'm in the house. I'm in the house, but that's the outside of the house. Yeah, that's how it works, indoors and outdoors. I'm inside, that's outside. I'm inside, that's outside. We're together. It's the vibe, I'm saying. What's the vibe been like for you trapped in the house for a year?

I feel like our artists are so used to trapped. It's weird in it we did the other day by the way we did we did a a draft on our show at our top five favorite like british accent and and and uh slang and shit like that my number one pick was in it in it in it love in it bro in it the thing about it, love? Isn't it, bro? Isn't it, man? Isn't it? The thing about it is, right, it's just like I feel comfortable in America because no matter what, even if I'm going to meet some cunt who fucking hates me, if I was like, hello, mate, how are you? Everyone's like, ha-ha. Yes. It's so funny.

Even the way you just said cunt who fucking hates me. I'm like, I like you already. Oh, my God, you're British. What the fuck? I love that for you. I'm like, I like you already. Oh my god, you're British? What the fuck? I love that for you. I love that for you. What are you, Alexis fucking, uh, Alexis Rose? I love that journey for you.

Like, your energy is just like, what the fuck? I love that for you. Wait, what star sign are you? Oh my god, you're a Leo. Oh, my fucking God, my sister's brother's cousin's a Leo. What's funny is that all fits him, too. That voice, it all fits.

It all works. I'm literally 15 different people at any one moment. I mean, I'm like Jim Carrey in the mask. Oh, I've said that before. I got best friends who have never met me. They're people I work with who have never actually met me. My parents haven't met me, bro.

Are you kidding me? I'm someone different for everybody. We're just waiting for you to come out. That's really what it is. One of these personalities. I miss having random best friends. You know what I'm saying? No one's been able to go out and get really fucking messy in a club or a bar.

You know what I'm saying? You know when you get really fucked up and you're like, you're my best friend, my man. And you don't even know the name the next day. You know what I mean? I miss random best friends. Yeah, you're making plans like, we're going to go travel somewhere together. We're going to like, you know, and then you wake up in the morning like, I'm not going to talk to that person again.

I'll never see you again. Literally, everyone's off the fucking tits. This is going to be the best new business ever. What the fuck? Bro, you know how many businesses I've started at 3 o'clock in the morning? Thousands. Millions, man. If we could harness that 3 a.m. energy, we'd be rich.

I love that, man. That's so, like, legitimately. I think I was planning to become an astronaut about 18 months ago. I could make NASA. I could do it. You know what I mean? I could do that. I could be like, I could take a test.

I could, like, learn to eat space food. I could fly to. I could take a test. I could learn to eat space food. I could fly to the moon. And I'd just fight with a punk rock NASA man. You know what I'm saying? I'd be like the fucking punk rock space soldier. Wait, so you were already a famous rock star and were like, you know what? I think I want to be an astronaut. That's usually some shit for like

seven-year-olds. You're good, dude. You just keep doing you. You don't need to become an astronaut. You greedy bastard. Could you imagine how much the other astronauts who are all fucking business and straight-laced would hate you? You show up, you're like,

I'm going to the moon, isn't it? And they're like, what the fuck is this asshole? Does anybody want some drugs? Imagine doing coke in space. You're just trying to catch it out of the air with your nose. Does anybody want some drugs? I was like, does anybody want

Mr. Rollins' blood before the table? They're probably like tech company guys. I'm saying it's like rage on the probably just like, they're probably like tech company guys. You know what I'm saying? It's like rage on, work all week and rage on the weekend. You're walking to the ship, like through that catwalk they have. You're like astronaut Greg Kelly. You're like, yo, dude, shove this up your ass real quick.

He's like, no, no, there's no TSA. You're like, no, no, I don't care. Just put this up your ass. Literally this side. And then when we meet the security, like, he has heroin in his arm. He's got it.

And it's like, it's like, no, the British accent makes it better. Have you seen Get Into The Green? Yeah. It's like, it's like,

oh, you've got that special thing for me now. I don't know what you're talking about. Heroin. He's a mule. He's a mule. He's a mule. He's a mule. You're an international space mule. Bro, we're taking drugs to the astronauts.

Yo, I was talking about how we're going to get along with fucking aliens and shit. That's how. You offer them drugs right away. Wait, that's a great question. You're telling me that when these guys go up to space stations or wherever for nine months and they're not bringing at least edibles or something. You're telling me those guys are just straight edge the whole time? No fucking way.

No fucking chance. Could you imagine, right? You meet a fucking Martian for the first time, right? He's going to rip your head off. You're just like, all right, bro. There you go. Don't rip my head off. This is cannabis.

Yeah. This is the best thing ever. This is what we can offer from our planet like you do this so we'll get along this grows on our planet and then the fucking martians like oh fuck yeah dude he's like don't kill him he gets on the phone don't exterminate them they got some good shit they're cool don't worry man or they invade Earth looking for cannabis. That's what I was going to say. That would backfire pretty quick, I think, now that we talk about it. We're the Quaaludes.

I bet you, man. Man, I bet you if we do ever meet aliens, they've got the best of drugs. See, I disagree. I think aliens don't do drugs. Why not? I think everything's advanced. They do everything to the max. To be honest, yeah, that's the thing. Because. Yeah, they're probably, to be honest here,

that's the thing because like human beings, we're just fucking dickheads. You know what I'm saying? We are just assholes. You know what I mean? We're the worst. So I think like, you know what I mean? Can you imagine like aliens like nerdy as fuck?

It's like, you know, I'm supposed to kill you. So like my boss kind of told me to. Right, right. I don't want to, but I got to wipe you guys off the face of the planet. I don't want to, but you know what I'm saying? Like fucking planet Zorkoid wants me to fucking, you know what I mean? Like, he told me to do it. I just got it.

I'm just going to be in trouble, you know? You know what I mean? Whereas humans are like, I was supposed to kill you, but you're kind of fucking cool, so fuck the free world. Let's go. Yo, I read an article the other day that was saying if we were to do long-term space travel with babies, their heads would get long and their eyes would get big. And they basically would start looking like, well, we picture aliens as. Really?

So maybe when we've seen those aliens and people have done their drawings, what they think, it's actually just humans who have been space traveling for a long time. Whoa. Whoa. Because babies, your bones haven't grown all the way and shit. You're all soft and mushy. think it's actually just humans who have been space traveling for a long time whoa whoa because there's you know your babies like your bones haven't grown all the way and shit you're all soft and mushy that's some that's some interstellar shit yeah exactly man so what if aliens are just humans who have been space traveling for like thousands of years do that you know did you know kfc radio did you do you get like free chicken sometimes or not? Bro, it's the worst named podcast on the planet Earth. It's my, it's my fucking initials.

I started it 12 years ago. I was just like, I don't know, KFC radio. And then it stuck and it worked. And now it's the worst goddamn name on the planet Earth. Bro, I don't know, man. I stole the mustache in the fucking KFC. And like, you know what I mean? I didn't have like one of them crazy,

like ties was going to come out. Fuck, man. Yeah, no, I mean, you know what I mean? I didn't have like one of them crazy like ties that's gonna come out. Fuck, man. Yeah, no, I mean, at this point, I would, actually, it's kind of fucking ridiculous

that KFC has never worked with us. Yeah, man, KFC, what the fuck? What's the fuck, man? Like, what's it called? Captain fucking chicken, man.

Give me some chicken, man. You mean Colonel Sanders? Captain, Captain Chicken. Colonel Sanders. Colonel Sanders gives some Colonel Sanders Colonel Sanders Gives some fucking chicken I'll tell you

If we're talking about Rebrandings And things like that Colonel Sanders Sounds like a racist motherfucker Captain Chicken Man Sounds like a More fun

I'm Captain Chicken Fuck Colonel Sanders Yeah Fuck you I'm saying I'm like He definitely supported Trump didn't he Fuck that guy

Colonel Sanders Way ahead I think Trump Supported Colonel Sanders was way ahead of him. I think Trump supported Colonel Sanders, dude. Fuck that guy. I'm essentially like, yeah, let's go like Captain fucking Space Cadet Chicken Man. Captain Chicken Man. I love it.

What's your favorite fast food? Oh, fucking hell, man. Let me think. I'm English, so I love fucking a kebab. You know what I mean? There's nothing better than a British kebab. Have you ever been to England, you know? Never. I've been, but I was young, man. Let me think. I'm English, so I love fucking a kebab. You know what I mean? There's nothing better than a British kebab. Have you ever been to England, you know? Never.

I've been, but I was young, so. Oh, shit, man. We've got to take you to it. Right. Okay, cool. Let me just tell you something. This is going to be one of those 3 a.m. things. We're going to become best friends and go travel the world and shit.

Yeah, this is what I'm saying. I'm going to take you for a British night out, all right? Okay. This is what we're going to do. So, you knock on the door. Knock, knock, knock. All right, lads, good to see you. How's it going? Let's cook, let's cook.

We're not going out. No, we're going to stay in my house for two hours to get to, like, fucking pre-drink. So we walk to a local shop. We have mini-marts called, like, Tesco or Sainsbury's. I'll buy us, like, 35 cans of lager between five of us. We'll net them. We'll play some probably pretty shit rock music,

but we'll just keep fucking going. You know what I'm saying? I'll have a selection of crisps, we call them, or like chips. You know what I'm saying? I'll have a selection of crisps. And then like, you're kind of like pretty fucked up. You know what I mean?

So usually my American friends, I know you lot like, oh, we can drink a lot a lot compared to the english it's not really that good so they're all like oh fuck you know i'm looking in the mirror like and i'm like oh we're going to the pub now you ready it's only 9 p.m the night's just about to start yeah yeah you know what i'm saying so like we go to the pub sink 10 pints of lager apiece. The Americans now are usually looking pretty green. You know what I mean? And I'm like, that's good, though. It's fucking good. You know what I'm saying?

So we're in the pub. We're in the pub. And then what we'll do is about 10 p.m., before we hit the nightclub, we'll go get a kebab to soak up all the shit. You know what I'm saying? So if you're trying to kiss a girl or a boy, whatever you're fucking into, don't get the garlic sauce yeah i'm not even i'm not even shitting you it will be on your breath for about

two weeks you know what i'm saying all right so we get the kebab now we're back in the club get the fucking kebab favorite thing ever which by the way is that like is that like a street like on the corner you go it's like it's like, no, you go to a kebab shop. It's literally just like, hello, lads, how are you? You can have just a fucking doner kebab with like footloads of salad, chili sauce. Most of the fucking time, some of the lads are throwing up outside. But it's good because after throwing up, you're like, eat that. Bang.

It's literally like a fucking shield in your stomach. You know what I'm saying? You've literally just got like the fucking fucking shield in your stomach. You know what I'm saying? You've literally just got like the fucking Mike Tyson in your belly. You're going to be sick. It's like, bang, fuck off, bang, bang, bang. You know what I'm saying? It brings you back around.

Then you go to the nightclub, and then we fucking do what we do in the nightclub. I don't know. Usually the spirits come out like a cheeky spliff in the corner Don't let anyone see Cheeky spliff I love it I'm saying like Literally a cheeky spliff

Like if you're a fucking rock star You can usually blag that shit In a nightclub Yeah I mean it's like Who's smoking over there What are you like in the club You like post up at the

Like at the table And like Are you like out in the Are you like dancing Are you just chilling Are you smoking What are you doing I don't really

I don't really like clubs. I spend half the time going to music. Shit in here, innit? So then, yeah, go on. Sorry. No, wait. You finish tonight. You please go ahead.

Sorry. I'm taking you tonight. So then I'm looking at you two. You've fucking got a bit of kebab on your shirt, a bit of sick on your shoes. You're in the fucking club. I'm kind of like, music's shit in't it you know i mean and then i'm like do you want to um go back to the pub we were in because i know the owner is going to fucking keep do as a lock-in and then it's going to like fucking just you know i mean supply fucking whatever our daily needs may be we're in there

to about five at five a.m the kebab shop opens again at 6 we go back to the kebab for breakfast sleep all day usually for about three hours and i'm knocking the american store be like why are you fucking sleeping time to do it all again now i didn't say before this tale started that i was supposed to go to england in march 2020 then the coronavirus thing happened so I had to cancel that trip. But I do have one upcoming, and I will be taking you up on all of this. Yeah, you better be. You made a mistake, brother.

He'll be on your couch in six months, bro. I can't wait. I can't wait. I hope I am the one under the table. Honestly, I hope I am the one. He'll give you – I feel like he'll give you a run for his money. I'm washed up now. I can't hang. He'll give you, I feel like he'll give you a run for his money. I'm washed up now. I can't hang.

He can roll with the best of them. You want to skip sleeping Friday night and Saturday night? He's your man. Let's go. He's your man. I love that. Let's go. That's the beautiful thing about me.

Manages from L.A., Malibu, Calabasas. So it's like I took him to, and he fucking loves the UK now. It's like, dude, like, we go into a pub and then we, like, drink and then we, like, eat crisps and shit. It's like horror. I fucking love that, man. You know what I mean? How old are you?

23 and full of beans. Oh, shit, you're young. 23 and full of what? Full of beans. I don't even know what that means. I don't know what it means, but I love it. I don't't know what that means. I don't know what it means, but I love it. I don't know what it means. I mean, I love it.

23 and full of beans. Sure, why not? It's funny, isn't it? It's great. Man, I didn't realize you're that young. So you're just living life, huh, man? Shit. 23, like blowing up. you look like you look like you act like you know you got personality for days

fuck it's got to be good to be young blood right now dude it's a vibe man it's just like when we say we're full of beans it means we're full of fucking i don't know we're fucking nicely fed nicely watered ready to fucking rock and roll. Do you know what I mean? That's such a polite way to put it. Like, I'm ready because I have the water and the beans, you know? I have the water and the beans and the sunlight, you know?

I'm a little flower. Oh, shit. So the new album dropped right at the end of 2020, right? I feel like it's primo time. You got to drop right around then so that by the time the spring and the summer comes and everyone's out and boozing and partying, that's when everyone's got their – your songs in their rotation.

That's how you get the song of the summer and shit like that is you come out just right before. It's a big vibe, man. We just dropped it and it just went fucking massive. I was like, whoa, that went big, didn't it? Shit, fucking hell, I didn't expect that. Really? Did you not expect it? You actually were surprised by the success?

I mean, I knew it would do all right, but then it did fucking really well. Do you know what I mean? And it was sick. And then, to be honest, because of the old coronavirus, we've been locked down, haven't we? So I've got another album, two albums, ready to go for your enjoyment, ladies and gentlemen. Another two? Another two albums? Two records, yeah. When are you dropping that?

So basically, I was like, wouldn't you like to know? Wouldn't you? Give us an exclusive. Come on. So start of the year, man, I went up to, I was in the UK and I went up to Leeds, a place in the north of England with a load of me mates into one house because a lockdown, we went just before the lockdown. We knew it was going to happen.

So it was like, we may as well be fucking Leeds, like in a one studio, just drinking ourselves silly and like writing an album you know i mean so we made like a fucking oasis bowie kind of a vibe at the start of the year oh wow and then i kind of was like cool let's drop that and it was like now it's a little bit too early so i was like i'm gonna go to america and i'm gonna make a fucking post-lockdown, jump about, lose your fucking head album that sounds a little bit like Dookie. Oh, wow. That's a vibe.

You know what I'm saying? Dookie is different. For all my friends, Dookie was like a lot of my friends, their first album they ever bought. And at the first one, they were really like... That's what I mean. I was just like, do you know what? Let's just do a fucking album

that people can just fucking cut their heads off to. That that's what's up. That's where people are at right now. Do you think that that music's making like, like, I feel like I, when I was, you know, a teenager, I'm 32 now. Well, as a teenager, like punk rock was the only music I listened to. I fucking love punk rock. And then I feel like it disappeared for a while where like the bands that i loved then were still making music but they

really weren't new bands coming yeah and then i feel like in the last few years between you and like mgk that there's like a resurgence of punk rock and that kind of shit that's and that's the thing that's the idea it's like it got it we called it guacamole rock you know i mean it's like it became very guacamole punk music no i mean it became very like i'm going to go to the studio at nine a.m guacamole at lunch and they're going to be done by five i'm like where's the fucking beer and the fucking nakedness yeah the fucking fire i mean it's literally became fucking sunshine you know we need just to bring them i mean someone needs to take a piss in a bucket weenie roast it's so true though it's like it's like it's not about the music it's about like the people

making it and how they make it and the story behind it. I want to know when I listen to punk rock, I want to know that you were in the studio taking a piss in a bucket. Fuck it. You know what I mean? I want, I want that. That's the vibe. That's the plan, man. That's what I mean.

And the thing about it is it's like, like the record, this record's almost done. I got to record it now. Like the daunting process. It's almost written, but I got to record it. And I'm just like, you know you know i mean there's a lot of like kids are playing guitars again and that's cool sometimes it's a bit fucking like hey man i'm a fucking rag star but usually like you know i mean the kids like some of the kids who are doing it now look like they used to push me into lockers but that's all right i'm saying it's like

it's like that's all right i mean like the jocks are doing fucking rock it's like, yeah, it's all right, man. You can fucking, you know what I mean? Like the jocks are doing fucking rock. It's like, hey, I'm so sad. I'm like, you, you're not sad. But that's all right. Yeah, yeah, you don't even know sad, bro. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, but it's kids are playing guitars again.

And that's fucking sick, man. Do you know what I mean? And I'm like, let's go. Let's go fucking rock and roll. Let's get silly. Let's fucking smash the fucking laptop up. Yes. Who do you think who do you why do you think that are you leading that is it is it you and like you said mgk was there a band like i just sometime that i just think we it was it was very mad man i mean when we did i think i'm okay like i remember me i remember i was like doing

like rock and roll was bigger in the UK it always has been it's kind of the music that the students listen to in the UK was hip hop and rap rightly so because it had some fucking gusto was like overtaking the world and I was like fucking great

it's got some gusto at least talking about cool shit and then I came over here and I met Travis Barker and did 11 Minutes with Halsey, which was a rock song. And the pop star was doing a fucking rock tune. And then me and Kels got together and we were like, right, it's time to sweep out the fucking trash now.

Do you know what I mean? So then we did I Think I'm Okay. And it just, something happened. And then we're kind of just best mates and his album fucking flew my album fucking did all right and then we just i was flying together just been like you need you need like a like you mgk halsey and travis barker super group dude that i think that's what i Do it. What we were saying, that's what I mean. We were just like, with it,

me and Kel's just fucking are best mates anyway, so we just write together. And I was just like, we've got to do something big, you know what I mean? So. How did that come about?

Did you two just meet because like, you're in the industry doing something? He rang me. He's like, all right, so she and Kelly,

I was like, oh, fucking hell. He does seem like that kind of guy who would just be like, yep, let me call him up. Do you want to look on my house right now? I'm like, all right, cool. And I turn up. And I remember I turned up and the door was unlocked.

I didn't even knock. I was like, fuck it. I just walked in. Walked downstairs. There's everyone smoking weed in the fucking hood. I was like, who's this British cunt in a skirt? I like a fucking skirt i was like hello lads has anyone seen the machine gun like fucking i don't know i looked a bit like a fucking i'd come to shag him or something he's in the back and then and then i walk into the back he's like all right yo what's up darman

and then we just like i had that moment like did we just become best the back. He's like, all right, yo, what's up, Dom? And then we were just like, out of that moment, like, did we just become best friends? Because he's like a massive Oasis fan. You know what I mean? We just fucking got on, and he's naughty. We're two naughty children running around with a microphone. You two seem like a fucking wrecking crew. Like, I could see you guys being like,

someone else throws a party party and you two show up and they're like, oh, fuck. Youngblood and MGK are here again. Everyone go home. Yeah, right. Like, we're about to burn the place down. My favorite night with him, man, when I think I'm okay just went gold.

We had a party and he was playing at Orange County and I was playing in LA. So I was like, why don't you pull your bus up outside the roxy where my after party is and let's fucking have a mad night so we dropped it and we said all right it's gonna meet me here fucking i don't know the venue from my gig was outside a couple thousand kids were in the street we got on his tour bus went upstairs upstairs, played the song with Travis Barker live. We put the drums upstairs in the middle of the fucking bar.

And I vividly remember swinging from the rafters with him and seeing a girl be sick on a mate's face. This is what you're talking about, man. This is what you want. And she just threw up on a mate's face. And the mate just went a mate was just like ew fuck yeah and then it's like and we were just like that is so gross that's exactly what you're looking for man that that's that's the story I want behind it. You know what I mean? You want to bring him over? That's what I'm saying.

We got the gusto back. The gusto back. We got this game that we play over here called Answer the Internet. It's a card game we made with all of the most crazy hypothetical questions, whatever we've got from our podcast and the internet, whatever.

So I'm going to hit you with some of these questions. While Kevin's looking through these, I do have a bone to pick with you, young blood. What's my bone? Original me is too catchy, and when I sing it out loud, I just keep calling myself a loser. I was singing it legit this weekend.

So I was listening to you. I knew we were going to interview you. And I was in the car with my dad, and I'm like, I'm the original loser. And my dad was like dude chill out man he's like is everything good at home that's the trick that's the fucking trick man it's so funny it's like what i remember playing that played that song in fucking poland or something and they broke the barrier to it i was like i was like fucking hell man this is sick

you know i mean people just get it i don't know why it's like everyone's like i'm a fucking i'm self-deprecation is fucking it right now it always goes out i'm gone yeah i got nothing all i got that's the only that's the only club i got in my bag, man. All right, let me ask you this. What's the worst thing you've gotten thrown out of a bar for? Oh, fuck. What is the worst thing I got? I probably, this is bad, right? My guitar player was on DMT in Sydney, and he got his cock out in the middle of the bar

by accident because he thought he was in the woods having a piss and that was not good it was it wasn't me but it was someone as i was associated with yeah he thought he was in the woods he's like boy these trees are doing a lot of dancing right now that's when you're on that shit you don don't know where. You don't know what's going on. My female friend, Jamie, put his cock back in his pants for him, and we took him out, and it's fine. Imagine that. You tucked that little baby away.

Thank you. I can't think of anything grosser than putting a limp dick back in a pair of pants. Just tucking it in, sliding it back between the boxers. She's just a badass. She was just such a fucking badass when she basically, like she looks after, she looked after us on the road. I mean, God bless her. That's a fucking...

For fuck's sake, fine. Get out. Would you rather, would you rather have no music for the rest of your life or all music has to be sung by your significant other?

So a boyfriend or a girlfriend who just, their voice sucks and it's grating and you can't stand it or no music ever again. I mean, music's music, isn't it? So fucking just give me like, even if it's like, you know what I mean? My missus actually is a very good singer.

So she's fucking, she can blast that at me all the time. Oh, that's what I'm saying. All right. You know what I'm saying? That's kind of cheating. What if your missus had a terrible voice? Fuck that, man.

Like, what if it was me? I had to sing fucking original me the whole time. Yeah, nobody wants that. I could see you fucking wanting to shut the laptop as I was doing two words from the song. To be honest, it'd be kind of funny for like an hour. Because I'd be like, ah, he's so bad. But then I'd be like, fuck. Then you'd want to kill yourself.

Like, this is what I have to do the rest of my life. I have to hear this. Yeah, nobody wants that. Would you rather be blind or dickless? Oh, fuck. Definitely blind. Blind? Blind's tough, though, man.

I mean, but dickless is tough. I can't let you say it. Like mean, but dickless is tough. I can't let you say it. Like one, like dickless is like everything. At least you can have a wife. I love that you didn't even say sex. Like, who cares about fucking people? I just want to be able to jerk off. But blind, man, like think about it.

You jerk off. Let's say you jerk off even a couple times a day, right? That's only like a few minutes here and there. You're blind. Like everything you do in life is a pain in the ass. I know, but I don't know. I kind of like me winking.

I'm with you, bro. Like, what would you do if you were dickless and, like, you were just hungover? I know, you can't jerk off. Like, when you're hungover and you can't jerk off, what would I do? I'd have nothing and I'd just eat bacon, egg, and cheeses all day? Nah, I'd fucking pass. Well, you do that and you jerk off. If someone texted you a picture of your dick and just eat bacon, egg, and cheeses all day? Nah. Fucking pass. Well, you do that, and you jerk off. You do.

If someone texted you a picture of your dick with no context, no nothing, would you know that it's your dick? Yeah, definitely. What's the distinguishing feature that you would recognize? Some fucking...

He's my mate. I've known him my whole life. You know what I'm saying? That's like, yeah, would you recognize your brother? Yeah. Yeah, would you him my whole life. You know what I'm saying? That's like, yeah, would you recognize your brother? Yeah. Yeah, would you recognize your fucking mom? You know what I mean?

I love it. That is a fantastic answer. I don't know that I would recognize mine, but I, mine is just so nondescript. It's just like, all right, that's just a dick. Just a plain old dick. If you had the flexibility, the ability to do it, would you blow yourself? Oh, fuck it. I mean, probably, yeah.

Everyone would. But what if everybody knew that you blew yourself? It's like, oh, there goes Youngblood. He sucks his own dick. I mean, it'd be kind of cool, wouldn't it? I think so. I just feel like, yeah, fuck it. Don't knock it, man.

It's like, don't knock it until you try. That's what it is. Everyone would make fun of you, and then if they could snap their fingers and do it, they'd be at home fucking. Were you alive or were you old enough for the Marilyn Manson rumor back in the day? Probably not. Everyone said that in school. Everyone said, like, took out the ribs and did that. Dude, honestly, that's one of the most fascinating things to me out the ribs and did that. Dude, how like

it's so honestly that's one of the most fascinating things to me in the history of the world. That just like before the internet was massive

before everything the entire world knew this rumor. How did we all know? We weren't calling each other. I love that shit. I love those I love those

little fucking rumors. Do you remember in school when you used to like pass songs over on your phone through Bluetooth? We could share songs through Bluetooth. I'm so old now. I just told you I was 32.

You think I was fucking around on Bluetooth in school? Bro. Dude, I had a legit Walkman with tapes. Dude, not even CDs. I had tapes. Dude, that's hard. I remember literally having a Sony Ericsson flip phone at 13 and be like, alright, you got the new killer song. Can you

Bluetooth me? Wow, that's crazy. Go ahead. Will you Bluetooth me, Mr. Brightside? That's what I'm saying. Have you ever heard the Lil' Kim rumor? What Lil' Kim rumor?

Well, urban legend along the same lines as marilyn manson when we were growing up the story was that she was on tour with biggie and puffy and bad boy and that she was sucking all their dicks and that she had to get her stomach pumped she went to the hospital because she had too much cum in her stomach to be honest to be honest like i i fucking know know. I've never heard that in my entire life. I feel a bit like, ooh, I don't know, man. Lil' Kim's pretty fucking badass. Yeah, that's what I, it would almost be like if there was some groupie that had to.

To be honest, they were probably sucking her, too. That's what I'm saying. Exactly. Lil' Kim was like that. That's the way we fucking like it. Like your hard partying friend who was like, we got to take him to the hospital. I'm fine. I fucking do this shit all the time. I'm good. There's no way. She'd be like, give gotta take him to the hospital. I'm fine. I fucking do this shit all the time.

I'm good. There's no way. She'd be like, give me more. Give me more. I'm fine. Give me another beer. You mentioned a rumor there. If you could start any rumor about yourself, true or false, what would you be?

What would you start? Oh, fuck, man. I don't know. I'd probably be like, Youngblood's a qualified marine biologist. That might be the best answer we've got. Everybody is like, I'd start a room and have a big dick or I fuck good, whatever. That is a good answer. Yeah, exactly.

I'm saying, I'd be like, yo, fucking hell, man, you know I was in marine biology? Yeah, fucking. I've been to the depths of the deep blue sea, baby. That is like, and that's something that's kind of believable. Because I feel like so many celebrities, like, they just have these weird pasts. Like, what's her name? Phoebe from Friends. Phoebe's like, she's like a brain surgeon or something like that.

Is she really? She's like a neuroscientist or something like that. It's like Brian May from Queen is a proper physician or engineer. I was like, fuck that. Isn't that cool, man? He's just like a shredding guitar player, like fucking cock out on stage shredding guitar. But also he can like fucking build a rocket. Yeah, he's an astronaut.

He's going to space with you. Yeah, with a bunch of heroin in his ass. Yeah, I'm just like, you know, when you're watching him on stage, it's like, that guy's incredible, but fuck me, he can build a rocket. I'm a loser. You know what I mean? I'm going like, I'm a fucking loser, man. Right.

Do you know what I mean? That's a dude who can do it all, man. He can do everything. Yeah, man. Last question here, this i think this works with the crazy fucking punk rock vibe and you know kind of like the the ozzy osbourne type shit would you bite a live gerbil's head off for five thousand dollars and you might be too rich so maybe like i don't know ten thousand twenty thousand five million whatever the number is for

you that money motivates you would you bite the head off a gerbil? I'd do it for a fucking tenner. I apologize to the vegans. The story of that, I mean, I don't fucking know, to be honest. I think I like a live gerbil's head. Because the problem is, like, I don't think he knew it was a live bat. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, right, right. Someone thought he handed him a plastic bat. And then was like ah like on whatever fucking drug i was gonna say i mean

you believe it if it's ozzy osbourne he didn't even know he was doing a concert yeah he thought it was at a fucking he thought it was a local beach bar in fucking prawn exactly he was in the woods with your buddy pissing and eating gerbils man that's what i'm saying it's just like and can you imagine like fucking going oh man this is gonna be so cool i'm gonna bite this plastic bat because fuck it that crowd i love it i'm on stage so i know these stupid ideas you get like one second it's like oh do you know what i'm gonna do i'm gonna fucking i'm gonna smash my guitar and like fucking set the stage off by it's gonna be sick ah you actually do it it's like okay i've been sued for 45 grand now that's not a great idea i mean you can imagine

your managers backstage like oh fuck man i remember when i jumped up i remember i was crowd surfing in the netherlands and I jumped off this fucking, like I was climbing up this like stupid fucking, you know, like there's like two levels in a place. And this was really fucking high. I'm talking about 15 feet. And I jumped off it and it caught me. So then I proceeded to go up again and again and again.

Everyone's on stage like, why has he gone up five times? What's fucking wrong with him? You know what I mean? Once was cool. And then my agent was like, what? What if you hurt someone? You are liable for that.

I was like, I don't know. I was just like, I was at fucking, I was at like seven flags, mate. Six flags. That's ballsy. I'll tell you what. Seven flags. I'm a guy who's done a couple stage dives in my life way back in the day we used to have like we had an edm tour called the barstool blackout tour this kid he's the least successful stage diver of all time and i would have to get in like costumes and i'd stage dive but i'm pretty big i'm like 6'1 220 and no one would ever catch

me like every time they'd see me coming and they just, everyone would move and I would land on the fucking pavement. Every single time. We have a montage, like the gas, like the smoke would pop and the beat would drop and he'd be like pointing and he'd be dressed like a frog or something. And he's pointing and then he just jumps and the crowd just goes.

And just smashes. You know, it's kind of weird. I always get taken down though. Like the amount of shit I've had nicked off me. Like they catch me and everyone's like, ah! Yeah, I'm sure. Dude, they stole my head one time. I was dressed as a chicken.

They stole my fucking mascot head. Just started passing it around. I didn't know that one. It's like you just see the light disappear as you swallow it up. You're like, no. You just get stepped on for a bit. I had to crawl out. It was fucking brutal.

Dude, I saw more action in those fucking nights than most people who have done tours in Afghanistan saw. Crazy. Dude, that was crazy. All right, dude. I love it. Thank you so much for the time. You are a vibe, sir. You really live up to the. I love it. Thank you so much for the time. You are a vibe, sir. You really live up to the hype.

Thank you. Thank you for having me, honestly. KFC Radio. Shout out, motherfucker. Anytime you want, brother. The door is open. So good luck with everything. The album's out.

Album Weird is out now. I will be in England soon, and I'll be partying with Youngblood. We'll tell you all about it. I can't wait. Thanks for having me on. Youngblood, fuck Colonel Sanders. all about it. I can't wait. Thanks for having me on, but fuck Colonel Sanders. My man. Later, bro.

Later. All right. That's a big thanks to Youngblood. Isn't it amazing how you have that accent and it just makes everything so much cooler and funnier? I mean, he's just so goddamn cool anyway, but yeah. That hair. It's just certain people.

The way he put on headphones was cool. Did you notice that? He flipped his hair back like i was thinking like if i like if let's say when i had my i had long hair like probably similar length different cut different style but like if i dyed my hair red and wore like skull and crossbones sweaters and rings and shit people would be like go absolutely kill yourself and he does it and it's just so fucking cool and like him and mgk together like the fact that that mgk just called him up was like come over and he just walked in yeah and everybody just walked in and was like is is the machine gun kelly here like they must be uh those two shout

podcasts forget about paul pierce and kendrick perkins get young blood and mgk on a podcast together all right so that's it right now uh go subscribe to our youtube please 58 000 people subscribed if we get two more about 1500 more people uh we will release the rat family vacation so i've been begging but now i'm telling you we're going to give you something we'll release a new video with the unseen it's not it's not new it's unreleased footage of marty fights and casey parading around fucking disney disney world like a bunch of drunk idiot children adults like. I'm excited to watch it. You don't know what happened.

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