Khloé in Wonder Land - Down the Rabbit Hole
Episode Date: March 18, 2026In this episode, we're going Down the Rabbit Hole. You sent in your stories, your problems, your chaos… and Khloé is reacting to all of it. We’re talking relationships, friendships, conf...idence, healing and everything in between. Real talk, tough love, and the kind of advice you didn’t know you needed.Episode Sponsors:Customize your Chai, your way at Starbucks.Ollie. Feed the Obsession. Go to https://www.ollie.com/wonderland and use code wonderland to get 60% off your first box!To get the kind of high-quality, 100% American meat you can't just find at the grocery store anymore, visit https://www.GoodRanchers.com today. When you start your plan, you'll choose a cut of meat that'll be included for free with every order, AND you'll get $25 off your first order by using my exclusive code, KHLOE.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
We asked for people to submit things that they want advice on or guidance on,
and man, did you guys deliver?
Okay, so we're a little unhinged.
Love unhinged.
I'm a big fan.
I've always wanted to ask you something.
Okay.
I fell in love with my best friend.
I told him how I felt about him.
I never heard of him since.
Ah-ah!
There's nothing in these streets.
It's all about being in these sheets.
I'm telling you.
My partner left their phone unlocked.
This is my biggest fear.
I haven't even read the rest of her question.
I could never pretend, I never saw it.
I have to talk about everything.
I would like you to discuss age gap relationships.
Like, I don't know, what's a crazy age gap?
30 years.
That's crazy.
I couldn't do it.
Okay, that was make it super easy.
Poor girl.
I do.
I have to give myself good advice.
Today on Chloe in Wonderland,
We are doing a very new solo episode, and it's called Down the Rabbit Hole.
So basically, we asked for people to submit questions or stories that they have, things that they want advice on or guidance on.
And, man, did you guys deliver?
We have tons.
I'm going to read for the first time on camera with you guys.
And I will do my best to give advice or to hear your unhinged amazing story and comment.
So thank you guys for submitting. I'm really excited because this is new and I'm excited to try something new with you guys.
My best friend is dating someone I really don't like. I've tried many times to spend time with him to get to know him because obviously I love my friend. But there's such an unwillingness to get to know me at all. Every time I'm around, he could not seem more disinterested. I'll ask him questions about himself and he won't ask me anything back or carry on the conversation besides what I initiate.
This has been happening for over a year. Wow. I'm done trying but want to be happy for my friend. What else can I do and how do I bring it up to my friend that this upsets me? Okay, well, first off, I think you're being such an amazing friend for trying and trying for over a year, gold star. Could you talk with your friend and explain, like, do it in a way where she doesn't feel attacked or that you're judging? I think it's more like, listen, you
love your friends so, so much and you want to be a part of this chapter in her life. But maybe ask for
advice for her, say like, what can I do for your boyfriend to like me more or want to engage with me
more, want to make me feel included in this part of your life? I remember when Kim, one of her
ex-husbands, I felt like we didn't connect. I would try. And it would, I would, I would, I
would always get shut down or it just didn't, it didn't work and it's really hard when you
want to make it work for the person that you love, but you also like, you don't really care
to also give that much energy at the same time. I really do appreciate how much energy you're putting
into this. This relationship with my sisters didn't last long. So I'm, I lucked out in that way.
But also, you don't want it to have to end in that way. So I think maybe go to your friend and
just be open and honest and position it in a way that you're you want to be more involved and be
a better friend so like what can you do sorry you're going through that i would like you to discuss
or advise on age gap relationships oh girl i don't know if you're happy and everyone's of consenting
age do your thing like if you're not hurting anyone everyone like i don't know what's a crazy age gap
30 years. Yeah, 30 years is, that's crazy. I couldn't do it. I wouldn't date an 18 year olds
on 41, but I also just think that's like, I wouldn't want to. Like I, you know, I think some
things are strange when you're a certain age. I think like once you're like 30, it's like,
okay. It's like the older you get, it just isn't that weird. But like the early 20s, I mean,
that's that's crazy to me i'm trying to glow up hard right now no sugar 10k steps early bed 18 steps
skincare routine the whole thing now my friends say i'm boring because i won't go out late anymore
no drinking too and won't split fries okay how can i balance both worlds i love my friends
but also want to prioritize myself too so listen if all those things make you happy then that's what
matters. Do I think there's some things that are a lot, like, an 18-step skincare routine? For me,
I could never sustain that. The expression, it's lonely at the top. That's because not everyone
wants to take that journey with you. Not everyone has the willpower to grow and evolve.
This is dedication. This is commitment. This is, it shows the integrity of you when you are
solid to any plan. It's so much easier to give up. So many other people are giving.
up and they like the distraction of drinking and being hungover. They like not having this
schedule, no sugar, early bed, 18 step skincare day, but they want someone else to do the riffraffy
stuff with them so they don't feel so isolated on that island. And what's crazy is,
then you, the one that's trying to glow up hard and better your life. Now, you're the one that's
lonely on this island, but stay lonely and get that tan on that island because, girl, this is the way
to be. And then when you want to pop out and have a great fun girls night or whatever you want to do,
it's that much more fun. And you can still then get crazy blackout drunk if that's fun for you,
but you just make it specialty times, like a few times a year or however much. But you're not missing
anything. There's nothing in these streets. It's all about being in these sheets, I'm telling you.
I am the most type A person ever. Hello. Because of this, I became the person who plans every
birthday, trip, dinner, etc. I'm tired. How do you gently retire from being the group's
unpaid event coordinator without causing too many problems? That's a great question. So I remember when I
was younger and I used to date, I would never tell anyone that I could cook or anything like that,
because I'm like, then they're going to ask me to cook. Like, you only do it for special people.
I think it's the same. Like, you do the planning and the extra work when you really want to and
need to, but if you're going on a girl's trip, someone, like, you guys each have to take turns.
You can be like, I'll plan the dinners. Someone book the hotel rooms, like, whatever you want to do.
I think whatever will make you still enjoy your trip or birthday or whatever, release the easiest
piece to release first and then see how that person does. But trust me, everyone is capable.
We just don't give people room to be capable because we are so controlling. I love that I'm saying
we because I am you, you are me. I deaf need your advice. I'm on my senior year in high school
and I'm in the midst of applying for colleges.
It's hard whether to decide if I want to stay in California or go to college somewhere else,
maybe Michigan, since that's where I'm from.
What things would you take in mind when taking an important decision like this and what might you recommend for me?
Oh, my God.
I have a lot of questions.
So you're from Michigan, but where's your family?
Like for me, family's everything.
My support system, I lean on them all the time.
I do think about moving outside of California, but I never could if my family didn't come with me.
So I know that's just not going to happen unless I can convince all of them too.
So it also, it's very personal.
I don't know, does your family live in California or back in Michigan?
Does that matter to you by being in close proximity with them?
Does it matter where your friends are going to college?
Do you want that sense of community already?
And I don't know, do you want, I would take those, those.
would be like my top into consideration. And then sometimes people just need a break. Like do you really
just want to start over and do something new and different? Like are you that type of person? I like
safety and comfort and I need my family and I would not be moving to another state. But that's
just me. My question I would love advice on and think and hope I wouldn't be the only one who
needs this is for someone who's struggling with self-confidence issues. I've had a tough few years.
Unfortunately, my way of coping with a lot of trauma is to binge eat. I'm slowly recovering. However,
I'm finding it hard to not always think about how I look and feel that my friends and everyone around me are
always looking at me or my body and judging. I also am single and 31 and all my friends being
slim in relationships engaged or married. And I feel like I won't find anyone unless I lose weight.
I went through a bad breakup and feel extremely rejected. I also went on some dates and was
then rejected. It's very hard to not think that it's about my appearance. I just need a bit of
advice on how to deal with this. I am as of four months ago, exercise in an eating healthy,
but I'm afraid of how much the thought of my weight is consuming me to the point where I'm anxious
to go out in public. Well, I'm so sorry for you that you feel this burden of trying to emulate
your friends or to have whatever this perfect body idea.
is in your head. I do relate to you though. When I was younger, I used to binge eat. I went to
therapy about it. It was something like any emotional thing I turned to food and just there was no
stopping me. I would eat, eat, eat, literally get sick, then feel disgusted with myself for how much
I ate because it's like you're eating pizza or fries. It's horrible food. Then feel disgusted with myself.
then be in such a shame spiral that I start eating again because I'm in such shame. So it was like this
vicious cycle. So I do understand that. It really took for me. So my divorce was really the
catalyst to why I became obsessed in a healthy way with working out. I realized during my marriage
that I ate so much and I would eat my feelings and I didn't like how that made me feel.
It then turned into, you know, you have bad skin and all these.
things that then is a ripple effect from eating so poorly. And I was like, you know, I'm just,
I'm over this. I'm over feeling this way. I'm over, never feeling like I could be in a bathing
suit. I compared myself to everyone. People compared me to my sisters. I've been there.
And then something just sort of awakens inside of you that you're like, I don't want to live like
this anymore. And I've never had a body type in my head that I wanted to have. I just knew I
wanted to be toned one day or I wanted to be able, I think I always wanted to be able to show my
stomach and like feel comfortable and be in a middreth. And then the first six months at least of working
out or torture. And I started slow. I worked out two times a week by myself. I got a membership
alone at Equinox because I was too embarrassed to work out with a trainer. And then even at the gym,
I was convinced everyone was looking at me. They're not. Everyone's doing their own thing.
And then I remember about six months in, then I finally hired my own trainer. And I liked my trainer because he had a gym that he only took one client at a time. So I didn't feel so much shame. But I would say like the first six months to a year, it's just uncomfortable because you feel you're still insecure. You're busting your ass in the gym. You're not really seeing a big shift on the scale, but you've got to keep going. For me, it was mental that kept me going. I loved how I felt. I felt so accomplished that I did something I did. I did something I did.
set out to do. But for me, it was baby steps. I didn't even think about diet yet. It was just about
getting into the rhythm of working out, all those little things. It sounds like you're doing way more
than what I was doing so soon. You're eating healthier, exercising. I honestly feel that the more you
exercise, the clearer your mind will feel and the stronger you will feel mentally. If you can,
I think going to therapy is so helpful. I know it did wonders for me of feeling
when I went through breakups and not feeling like myself, feeling like people took a part of me away,
going to a therapist and just sort of talking out your problems. You don't have to stay with one,
even if it's just two months of therapy. I really think that's something is something. And I think
it's so helpful. And you really start to get this closure on things and you start to get strength that
you forgot you had. And then the comparing yourself to others, I really think that. And I really think
that will go away the stronger you feel mentally, but I think you feel really broken down from
probably the shame of the binge eating. I know that feeling because I've been there. The bad breakup,
some of the dates where you feel rejected. And these people might not think anything about you
aesthetically. They might think you're the most beautiful person in the world. But if you don't feel
that way about yourself, you're always going to think this is why people are, quote, rejecting you.
end quote. So I do think therapy and continuing the workout is really, really helpful. I'm praying for you.
And I hate that you feel anxious to go out in public. But I honestly think that you're doing so,
so great by exercising and eating well. And I think it's just the beginning of you feeling good.
Lately, I've been really into this idea that spring is basically your permission slip to reset.
Not in some dramatic way, but in those tiny,
little daily moments where you get to choose what feels good for you, how you show up, how you take
care of yourself, and how you move through your day. And one of those moments for me, Starbucks.
It's one of those rituals that always feels familiar, but I also love that I can switch it up
depending on my mood. Everyone knows my order is an extra hot venty chai latte, whole milk,
seven pumps chai, seven pumps classic, no water. Yes, it's very specific, but that's the point. I love that
Starbucks lets you customize your drink to actually match how you're feeling that day. Now you can play with
the sweetness and the chai spice however you want. Swap your milk, even add cold foam, if that's your vibe.
It's literally designed so you can make it your own. Now that I can play around with the sweetness,
My usual go-to order might look a little different, but still it's totally me. Some days, I want it
cozy and comforting, and other days I want to try something new. And I love that chai is the perfect
starting point for that. You can keep it classic or tweak it until it feels like your exact mood in a
cup. I love how it's such a small thing, but it honestly turns a routine moment into something that
feels personal. That's where I'm at this spring. Choosing little moments of self-expression,
even in something as simple as how I customize my drink. Customize your chai your way at Starbucks.
Order now on the app. You guys know I recently got a puppy, peppermint, and I'm not even going to
pretend I'm normal about it. I fully accept that I've become one of those dog parents, the kind who
takes way too many photos, talks to their dog like they're a person, and somehow she ends up having
a better daily routine than I do. Pepperman already has multiple beds around the house, a rotation
of toys, and honestly, I catch myself checking on her like she's a toddler. But if you're a dog
parent, I feel like you get it. They really do become a part of the family. And if anyone understands
that level of obsession, it's Ollie. They're just as obsessed with your dog as you are.
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Ollie, feed the obsession.
I truly admire the way you speak so openly about healing, boundaries, and rebuilding yourself after painful chapters.
Your honesty has helped so many people feel seen and understand.
understood. Thank you. I'm currently pregnant and navigating a very complex emotional season. My partner
and I had been together for 18 years and after a five-month separation, we're now working toward
repair and rebuilding trust. During that break, he entered another relationship, which has added
layers of grief, comparison, and triggers I didn't anticipate, especially as that person
continued reaching out, even after he ended things and shared indirect posts on social media.
doing the work, but pregnancy has amplified everything. I find myself managing constant triggers,
hypervigilance, and the challenge of learning how to feel safe again while also trying to
protect my peace and prepare for this next chapter of motherhood. I would truly value your
perspective on rebuilding trust after betrayal, navigating forgiveness without minimizing your pain
and staying grounded when past wounds resurface. If this is something you'd feel comfortable to
on your podcast, I would be honored. I know many women, especially mothers, would deeply relate to
this kind of experience. One, very beautifully written. Thank you for that. Two, I'm sorry for everything
you're going through. I know pregnancy is one of the most special times of any woman's life,
and so to have these extra layers of emotion and burden and stress. I'm really sorry you're going through
all that. I will say from reading what you wrote, the positive is you guys were on a break. So it sounds
like he didn't betray you from what I'm reading. That does not take away how it feels now that you guys are
back together. But I think if you can put in your head that this was like no wrong was done on his
part, maybe anger towards him would diminish a little bit. It's really hard. I think. I think
it's totally natural to be jealous, have these thoughts of, like, I remember when I would get back
with people. And if they would kiss me, all I would think about is like, well, how was it kissing
her? Like, your brain just sort of like goes back into that place and it's so unhealthy. And it's
hard. I think the best advice I can give you is if you're going to get back with someone,
and that's your choice. You definitely don't have to minimize your pain. You shouldn't. But you need to
forgive if that this is your choice. Don't forget. You both need to have very open, raw and honest
conversations with one another. That's the only way, the only way to get through something is to
actually go through it. So you have to go through these feelings. You have to go right to the
eye of the storm and have these very real and raw and very uncomfortable conversations.
hopefully without a ton of emotion involved, meaning like screaming and all that, so you guys could
hear one another. No one is hearing one another when we're yelling and calling people names.
So I think, and this might be a conversation that happens many times, and that's okay.
And if you need to do this with couples therapy, I think that's beautiful because that person
would be more like your referee, so you guys can talk. And also, if you do all this work,
and you still feel not safe in your relationship, like emotionally, if you feel that you're
constantly looking over your shoulder, maybe you have to reconsider and say, say that this person
served a purpose in my life. He gave me this beautiful baby. We've been together for 18 years.
I know he's an amazing father and partner, but if you don't feel safe, if this is something
you can't get over, then you do have to be honest with yourself. But I think every relationship,
that involves a child specifically deserves a really strong fighting chance. I really, really do. And I think
and at the end, if it doesn't work out, at least you guys would have great respect for one another and know that you
guys are just going to be awesome co-parents. My friend got into a relationship and now I barely see her.
I don't think I'm jealous, but I'm suddenly very aware of how often she says we instead of
of I. How do you support your friend's relationship without feeling quietly replaced?
The tough truths about growing up. I don't know how old you are. I do think the older you get,
the more you experience this with your friends. And even for me, I think there's this honeymoon
stage in every relationship. And probably when I was younger, I used to be jealous of it or,
like, that's my friend. Like, you just have this possessiveness and you would maybe tease your friend
or whatnot, like, oh, you don't hang out with me anymore. But then the older you get, you're like,
no, that's what you want for your friend. The point of life is to, yes, have your circle of friends
and keep that circle. And you do learn how to balance it when you become older. But there is a stage
in life that you aren't good at balancing it. And that's what this pain, it's like growing pains
of life comes from. But I think with you expressing yourself and in a way that does,
doesn't feel attacking or jealous. I think there's a way to say, I would love to have a
girl's night once a week, once a month, whatever, whatever you want. I think you saying that to
your friend is beautiful and your friend might love to hear that. You don't even have to bring up
the boyfriend because it's more your girlfriend needs to know how to do the balancing a little bit
more. But then the older you get, you do have so much more grace for people that are in new
relationships and that they are in their honeymoon stage and that they are hoping this will turn
into their fiancé one day and then their husband. And you want to encourage that chapter in all of
our lives. And the beauty of life is learning that balance. I'm a big fan and I've always wanted
to ask you something. As someone who has been to university, what advice would you give to a 20-year-old
student? Sometimes I feel like I haven't accomplished much yet. And there's this pressure about succeeding and
worrying about the future. I'm not sure if you ever experience something similar. I'd really love to know
how you manage that stage of your life. And did you feel pressure when making decisions about your future?
If so, how did you handle it? Oh my gosh. I think I feel those pressures now when I'm 41.
I will say I think it's unfair how society makes 20-year-olds feel. Because now that I'm in my 40s,
like you're a baby. I got married at 24. I loved that chapter in my life. I loved that chapter in my
life, but in hindsight, I'm like, what a baby? Like, I can't believe I made such an adult decision and
did something so grown. It's crazy in hindsight. And I think the same thing in your 20s. I think
your 20s are made for figuring it out, not really knowing what you're doing, but that's the beauty
of having a beautiful family and hopefully a great support system that will be there to catch you
when you fall, be there to help guide you and navigate you. I don't, I know you don't have to have it all
figured out ever, but specifically in your 20s. I really think your 20s are made for experimenting,
figuring out what makes your heart happy. If you're one of the lucky ones that knows and you move on
with your life and you can get married in your 20s and you know your career, beautiful. But there's
definitely, there's no race. Like no one gets anything at the end of this. Like we all are just
trying to live and create these happy lives for ourselves. But I really do think the 20s are your time
to try new jobs, see what you want to do career-wise, maybe start dating people more seriously.
And then I think your 30s, if you can hone in on that career more, I think that's beautiful.
If you're younger than that, then great that you got that. But still, I think we have so much time
that we don't really realize. So many people don't have it figured out. I love my
Mom always says keeping up, it changed how people perceived her as a businesswoman. It changed in so many ways for my mom. And that was in her 40s. And so, and that wasn't something that in her 20s, she thought she was ever going to do. She's lived so many different lives. And it's the beauty of Chris Jenner. It really, really is. So I think just don't be that hard on yourself, but I get it, society and outside noise. But just try to have a beautiful.
beautiful, happy life. What's meant for you will always find you no matter what. I want to feel confident,
strong, and hot. Here, here. Me too. I also want snacks at night. Me too. And to lie on the couch.
Me too. Can both exist? Is balance real or a myth invented by people who love salads? Love you.
Love you too. Oh no, no, no. I am the queen of balance. I work out and work my ass off in the gym.
But I love crap food. Like a milkshake, yes. Chicken fingers and french fries? Hell yes. Pizza,
fuck yes. Like, I am so that girl. And then, of course, I'll balance it with like fruit, veggie, whatever, like moderation. And I really do that just because I feel like I have to. And I do love salads, but my heart is on the children's menu. And I do that. I do that quite. I do that quite.
often. Definitely, if I never had to leave my bed, then I would never leave my bed. I would be terrified
if I didn't have kids because I would just probably, I read this news story that someone literally
like melted into their couch because they never left. That would be me. So thank God for the
kids. I think I'm on a totally different tangent now. But yes, I think if for me at least my body type,
when I was at the beginning of my health journey and I had certain goals for myself, no, I couldn't
eat like the beast that I can eat now. But now that I'm at a place that I feel really good about
myself and I still work out five days a week, but now I eat literally sort of whatever I want.
In moderation, I still have the good stuff. I'm not eating every meal is not junk,
but I'll pick probably one and I do that. So it just depends where you are. But I think if you are
working out, you can eat whatever you want if you're at the place that you like.
And then I know, like, if I have a photo shoot or something, then I'll, like, I'll get it together and I'll control myself. But typically, I live a very balanced life. And I need to be happy. So, yeah, I'm going to.
You're also really not, like, finishing with those portions are. Yeah, I'm not a big portion girl, but I, I'm a consistently snack person. So, like, I love a handful of this, a handful of that, but, like, through the whole day.
Like, I call myself a grazer because I would rather graze throughout the day than sit and have a big ass meal for lunch.
I just don't like the way I feel.
And I just love hand.
Like, it's like the hand-to-mouth thing.
I can't help myself.
My partner left their phone unlocked and a group chat popped up.
Oh my God.
I think this is my biggest fear.
I haven't even read the rest of her question.
I didn't go digging, but I saw enough to realize their friends do not like me.
Nothing crazy, just little comments. Do I pretend I never saw it or is this something you actually talk about?
Okay, so I get this. I am someone, I don't go through phones, you're just always going to find something that you're going to need to ask a question about. So I don't look. What is meant for me will always find me. Every single thing that I have found out about with X men of mine, they have fallen into my lap. I do not search. They just come my way. My point in saying that is,
I relate to this. So you didn't look, which is good. But I feel like if it's this innocent,
you can just say that. And I will also say that a group chat, if anyone saw my group chat messages,
they are dark and we go low at times. Like we just, you talk open shit about no one is safe. No one is
safe. But that's like the beauty of a group chat. Do we mean everything we say? No, you're just like on a rant freely
talking shit. But I will say that now this is going to make you uncomfortable. Now you know something
that you probably wish you didn't. If it's that innocent, just say it to your boyfriend. Like,
your phone was unlocked. I saw your group chat. I wasn't deliberately digging or anything,
but now I can't unsee this. Let's talk about it. I could never pretend. I never saw it. I'm just not
built that way. I have to talk about everything. You guys know how intentional I am about what I eat,
especially when it comes to protein. So when my friends at good ranchers.com informed me that over
85% of grass-fed beef in stores is imported, I was shocked because I think a lot of us assume we are
buying local. We assume we're supporting American farms and that the labels mean what they imply,
but that's just not the case. And that's what made good ranchers stand out to me. This company was
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Here's my story. I need some advice.
I fell in love with my best friend, and it's ruining my life.
life. It all started like fun and games and we were touchy and flirty but in a very innocent way.
Turns out I was feeling more than just a friendship. Fast forward, things started to get even more
flirtatious as kisses began. All in a friendly way. I don't even know what that means all in a
friendly way. Nonetheless, it was more obvious by the day how badly I wanted it not being friendly.
What does that mean friendly kisses? I'm dying. We planned a trip to another country with some of my
friends and my best friend, and by the end of the trip, I gained all the courage I could and told him
how I felt about him. I never heard of him since. Shut up. You're lying. This happened last September,
2025, and it wasn't until November that he replied back and said he didn't feel the same way,
but that he still loves me and wants things to be as they were. Now I'm torn apart because I don't know
if he loves me or not, because I was left dead silent for two months.
eating my feelings apart, and he didn't even mind to check how I was doing. What should I do? I am the one
ghosting him now because I really don't know if he cares about me enough, or even if I care about him now.
I know you are the one to ask for help. Well, baby, he doesn't love you. He says he loves you because
he's put in this awkward position, and I'm sure he's still like a nice guy and loves you probably
as a friend, but nothing more than that. If he did, then he would have told you.
you, but he's told you that he doesn't feel the same way that he loves you. I just think he's
being nice and saying that. I mean, actions speak louder than words. If he loved you, he would be
all for it. You guys are clearly flirty. You've given him all the signs, all the energy,
like, come and get it. And he didn't come and get it. So I think you've gone this far by dealing
with the grief, because now you've lost someone that you considered your best friend and
someone that you were romantically looking forward to. So you've already dealt with the hardest
part which is trying to get over that. Don't go back in. Trust what the universe is showing you.
My partner is amazing in every way except gifts. Like impressively bad. I don't care about
expensive stuff. I just want thoughtfulness. How do you teach someone how to be better at this
without sounding ungrateful? Ooh, that's a tough one. That is hard.
I love gift giving, but that's one of my love languages is giving to other people. I love it. It's not
everyone's gift. Like, not everyone has that ability. And I really try to give someone a gift that I either
would want for myself. But normally I like to know that person because not everyone, let's just say,
if I want a Chanel bag, not everyone cares about that stuff. So I don't try to just, an expensive gift
doesn't really matter, the more thoughtful, that person never forgets that. You teach people how to
treat you. So you either teach him how to treat you by you getting him thoughtful gifts and hoping he'll get
the memo. And even when he opens it, if he's like, oh, this was so great and you, you guys have to
talk about it a little bit. So it's registering. Oh, okay. Like, this is the direction I should go.
I think what like me and my friends do, we tell someone on his side. Like it could be his best friend. Like you steer the friend in the right door. Like it doesn't even have to be you. It could be one of your besties as talking to his bestie. You're like, you know what Chloe would really like for her birthday? This candle and a massage. Like, and it's coming straight from the horse's mouth, but you're like giving them a little to make it easier for them. In my opinion,
someone's spending their hard-earned money. That person wants you to enjoy it. They're not getting you a
gift because they don't want you enjoy it. I think people would like a little guidance. I'm jealous of my
friend. She has a new relationship, new job, and is so pretty. I'm happy for her, but also low-key
comparing myself and feeling behind. How do you stop yourself from doing that when someone close to you
is really in a shining chapter. Great question. So I used to feel like this with my sisters
when I was really young. And then I realized, no, I'm not really jealous. I'm more like,
damn, I want that too. Like not in an envious way, in a motivational way. But I had to learn
what those feelings were. This was when I was really young. And I had to learn, oh,
because I would feel so guilty that I would think I was jealous. Because I'm having to
happy for my family. Like, we all are. And so once I really put everything into perspective, like,
well, no, because would I want to take that from my sister? Like, would you want to take all those
things from your best friend and have her have nothing? No. I mean, I wouldn't from my sister.
It's like, once I started really laying it all out there, I was like, okay, so I'm not jealous because
I don't want me to have it and them not to. I want us all to win together. So let me take these feelings
and reposition it and use it as motivation and like, okay, I'm going to hustle. I'm going to get
my shit together. I'm going to be on this glow up. I'm going to do whatever your goal is or whatever
you want that someone else has. Don't be jealous. Use that as fuel. Use that as motivation.
And be so happy for that other person because that is truly when you all win is when you can find
such happiness and be that cheerleader. Like, I am fucking rooting for everyone in my life all the time.
So I think it's really just repositioning the way that you see it because life is all about
perception. Life is all about the angle in which you view something in. I tragically lost my
father 10 months ago. He tragically fell off the back of a golf cart. I've been in the depths of
grief. I found your last podcast with the medium so helpful and comforting, especially when she
spoke about the woman's father dying tragically. How did you cope at such a young age? I'm 32 and I've found
it to be such a profound emotional rollercoaster. I can't fathom going through this at such a young age.
Do you still find yourself experiencing or reliving those early days? Does it feel so far away or like
yesterday? Time has become so warped to me. Thank you for your vulnerability and sharing so many
personal moments with your audience. I am so, so sorry for the loss of your father.
Listen, losing anyone, specifically a parent, you never get over it.
You never, it's never okay.
You never not feel the great loss of them.
But every day you do become stronger and stronger.
I would say the first three years after my dad died, I was horrific.
I was horrible, emotional outbursts, crying all the time, mean.
Nothing good.
It was bad, bad, bad.
And then eventually you do become stronger. You never forget, like for me, every single day I think about my dad. But every single day, I talk to my dad. I talk to him like he's still here. I love speaking to him. I love to believe that he's watching over me and my kids. I love to believe that all of this is possible because he's one of my guardian angels guiding me through life. And I genuinely believe that. I think you and I both like feel.
robbed. I see people that have their parents in their 90s and I'm like, God, like, I wish I had that. I wish
I was able to introduce my kids to my dad. Like, I have all these things that I wish for. And that's
normal. And you should have, you don't have to be angry, but you should have those, you should have
those feelings. You're allowed to have those feelings. It's human to have them. I promise you it gets
easier. I think the more you talk about it, the more that you continuously keep your father's
memory alive, it's so special and it's so beautiful. At first, if I spoke about my dad,
my voice would crack and I would be on the verge of tears for no, like, I wouldn't even know why.
And I just could not say his name. I could not talk about him. And then I would try to,
because I wanted to talk about him. I didn't want to pretend like he didn't exist. I didn't want to
pretend that he was on this band list. And so I would talk about him and I would finally get through
those tears. I would get through that feeling. And I'm able to talk about him as if I was with him
yesterday. And it's beautiful and it gives me so much comfort. So I know it seems like forever.
Give yourself time. Give yourself grace. There's no straight line with grieving. You will go up. You will
go down. And also in 10 years, you might have a day that you are sobbing your eyes out,
missing your dad, and that's okay. If anyone tells you, it's been 10 years, get over it.
Fuck that person. There's no right or wrong with grief and there's no straight line.
All this grief is because you had so much love. You wouldn't feel this way if you didn't
experience that depth of love. So if you position it that way, like,
I had my dad for 19 years. I was robbed of a father. I really was. But some people have a father for
literally 100 years. That's a piece of shit human being. And I'm able to say, I had the,
my 19 years were short, I had the best fucking dad, the best memories, the best morals and all
these things that are instilled in me, I'm so grateful for. And so a lot of it, again, is perspective or
how we position things. And I think in anything, there's light and there's positivity. Not all the time.
Do we want to see it? You might be like, shut the fuck up with your positive crap, but also go through the
grief. Again, you have to, to order to get out of something, you have to go through it. You have to go
straight through it. Feel all the feelings. Do what you got to do. Also want to get to the other side.
Don't want to sit in that dark place because life is beautiful. And you will see your dad in almost everything you do if you want to look for him. I want to be kept anonymous. My sister slept with an ex situationship of mine. Okay. I've always been extremely close to her and have trusted her more than anyone. Of course. I want to forgive her because I'm a Christian. I feel like I have been forgiven more than I deserve. She has apologized and I know she regrets. She's apologized and I know she regrets.
her actions. We've gone into normal dramatic sister arguments before, but this feels different. I don't
feel in control of the emotions. I'm feeling towards her. Disgust and hate, and I want nothing more than to get
back to how things used to be. She did this years ago, but I'm just now finding out about it. It has
less to do with the man and more about my sister betraying me. She's held onto this secret for so many
years. She knew nothing about this man aside from the fact that I had been seeing him. I normally have
answers. Navigating this has me so lost. Well, that's definitely a tough one. And I get it. It's not really
about the man. It's more about the action. And I would say probably more about that she's kept a
secret for years. Because that feels pretty shitty. And that sucks. I think, listen,
Men come, they go, it is what it is. That would hurt me too. More the lying and keeping the secret.
So for me, not that I want you or myself to ever be dormant, not at all. I think it's your sister.
You have to forgive your sister. Doesn't mean you need to forget. And doesn't mean that your feelings need to be minimized in any sort of way.
But the life you and your sister are going to have with one another is far exceeding.
the act that was done. And we all make mistakes. I don't know how old she was when she did this,
but I think that does play a factor as well. And I think you will really regret later in life
if you don't try to make amends with your sister, because there's nothing like a sister.
She knows what she did was wrong. She feels great remorse about it. But you guys also have to have
really honest conversations about this. So you're not treated like, oh, she forgave me, I could do
something else. Like you would never forgive, I'm assuming someone else for this, but your sister,
it's different. There are different rules. But you also want your sister to have great respect for you.
And it's depending on age, but it's almost as if she didn't have great respect for herself.
And that's why she did something like that. And so maybe your sister not making excuses at all,
but maybe she was going through something really rough in her.
her life to do something like that because that's a lot for a sibling to do. But I want you to know that
your heart's in the right place. You are wanting to forgive. It's just hard for you. But again,
I really do think the more you talk it through and you set the tone and you're like, I forgive you're
my sister. I love you. But this was wrong. X, Y and Z, you guys go through the whole list and you
guys talk about it, but talk. No screaming, no yelling. Really try to listen to one another. Maybe ask her,
why would you do that? And why, like, you know why she kept it a secret because she was
humiliated. You only are keeping a secret about something because you're embarrassed. I think
there's a lot of conversations that need to happen here. But I honestly think once you have them,
I do think your relationship will be much better. You never have to forget. I do think it's the
right thing to do is to forgive and to have the really hard talks.
I absolutely loved doing this down the rabbit hole podcast with you guys.
These questions were so good, so vulnerable.
I'm so, so grateful that you guys wrote your hearts out, truly.
And I really hope I'm doing you all justice with my answers.
Again, I'm just doing what I think is best.
I am definitely not a therapist in any way.
But I do really, I honor that you guys are trusting me with such.
personal information and so I'm so, so, so grateful. Thank you so much. And I can't wait to do this
again with you guys. You know what Wednesdays are for, and that's Wonderland.
