Upstream - Episode 12: For Your Eyes Only

Episode Date: July 21, 2021

Alright, we got a bit silly with the whole Moonraker thing. Let's just have a nice, calm and normal Bond film. The Lads are joined by podcaster and video essayist Mia Mulder to discuss From Russia with Her Majesty's Secret Service. Die Another Who Loved Me. The Living Day another Die with Love You can find Mia at https://twitter.com/Potatopolitics support her at https://www.patreon.com/MiaMulder Watch her (excellent) videos at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_OttpBEWWzSUlZbk5qmhSA And listen to her podcast at https://twitter.com/leechfestpod   Find bonus episodes at our reasonably-priced patreon! https://www.patreon.com/posts/53137109   *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/   Find us at https://killjamesbond.com and https://twitter.com/killjamesbond

One is called Kill James Bond and it's hosted by Alice Calle Bell Kelly, Abby Thorn, and Devon. Three pretty well known internet personalities from the UK. We might bring a much different perspective to the James Bond franchise than most podcasts about that. So Karen, this podcast seems a little more thoughtful. Oh! Ah! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

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Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Hello and welcome to an intellectual refined critically acclaimed critically acclaimed on the Canadian broadcasting operation podcast I am Alice called well Kelly joining me Titans of the mind Intellectual giants Avogale Thorne Devon and we're joined by Mia Mulder. Mia, how's it going?

It's going well. You've forced me to watch a James Bond movie. So, it was a good one, though. We've invited you to our intellectual conclave where... I'm looking forward to sharing my philosophical insights and the intrigues of this James Bond movie. Joy. All the vibrators, all the vibrators in terms of the podcast of the mind. So the thing that I've done in order to make that intro, right, was I have assembled, I have collated every single one of our dumbest drops.

And I've put them randomised on a single button. And that's the power that I now have available to me. Is that at the press of a button I can hit you with, I have no idea what it's going to be. It could be anything, but I can hit you with... A consp and there we are, Vyklik and Sen, with unauthorized leakages. How welcome to Japan. And that is my little girl hot and ready. There are so many of these. You've made too powerful. Could be anything.

All the firefighters. All the firefighters. And so the electrical plate, the thing that the thing that electric heats the gas and puts them in the shark tank is also on the same board. So we've got to be careful. That's true. That is true. Ever since that shark ate Ed's itch and he's not he's not been well.

He's been looking a bit green about the girls. Oh, bugger. We watched for your eyes only. The one where the bond franchise tries to go a bit serious again. It's good again. It's good again. Roger Moore does a bad one, a good one, a bad one, a good one. He alternates.

Is that the rule? Is this a, is this a good one? I mean, you haven't seen the rest. That's, that's the rest. That's true. This is the only Bond movie I've ever seen in my life. And this one, I mean, it sure is a Bond movie. This is the best one so far, I think. I'm pretty much forced to break your lifetime vow

to never watch a Bond movie. Okay, I did see the man with the golden gun when I was like seven years old with a Dutch dub. So this one is like very different from what I remember. This one like has editing. There is a soundtrack like it is technically like a film. Where are some of the early cornering ones were like, yeah, it looks so. It's a failure.

I'm going to dive right into the synopsis here. Firstly, because of the reason that it like destroys, humiliates Abigail's theory that like James Bond is a code name and that there's multiple guys called James Bond. My moment. Because we see Roger Moore go to a nice English churchyard and mourns the death of his wife when he was George Laisenby. Doesn't actually say it was love could have been an unconnected woman, but all right.

Yeah, I've got to go to the previous employee's wife's grave. He's a little bit slurred. Yeah, it's really inhabiting this James Bond thing a little bit too much. Are they only employee guys who have been married to someone called Tracy just to keep this going? Yeah, and who died on the same day. Well, I guess. Yeah. So Roger Moore gets to do a little bit of acting here. He gets to look sad.

And then as he is being whispered and destroying the fan theory that James Bond is a code name, he has a code nameame at 007. It's the same guy. The person, the vicar interrupt him to say that work has like sent a helicopter to come and pick him up because it's an emergency. And Roger Moore gets quite a nice line where he's like, yeah, it always is. And also, it killed my wife. I am punished Roger Moore in this movie.

I'm getting old. He's looking real old. He's looking better in this one than he did in the last one. I did know what they've done. They've given my man some of the good Adrina Crome. They've changed his hair. He's looking good. I'm not sure about that because I wrote in my notes that he looks a little bit like Donald Trump. He looks a little bit. He looks. Like he looks a little bit.

It looks three times as old as I would expect him to. He's got the like a sort of like adult diaper walk. Yeah, no. But he gets in the helicopter and as the helicopter is taking off, the vicar makes the sign of the cross at him and bond is like, hmm, this probably doesn't mean anything. That's been weird. Yeah. No, not all weird. How many times now has Bond gotten into a mode of transportation

with a like sealed divide between the front and the back, with a guy in the front he doesn't know and then been surprised when the front is like taken control of? Because by my count it's like at least half a dozen. We have to want every two movies now. I mean, yeah, after a certain time, it's his own fault. He's been thrown out of planes. He's that we've seen this happen in a cab. It's like, yes, I exactly what you would expect to happen happens. A mysterious, uncredited man with a cat in a naru suit. It's pervert. It's pervert.

It's pervert. It's pervert. It's pervert. It's pervert. It's pervert. It's pervert. It's pervert. It's pervert.

It's pervert. It's pervert. It's pervert. It's pervert. It's pervert. It's pervert. It's pervert. It's pervert.

It's pervert. It's pervert. It's pervert. It's pervert. It's pervert. It's pervert. James Bond for a little bit. No context. I had to look it up on James Bond Wikipedia to find out that it's legally not blow-feld. Do we have a page on James Bond Wikipedia? We don't even mention it on your Wikipedia. A mysterious bald man who is legally not blow-feld because the name name blow-full was owned by a different guy who would go on to make a different parallel bond movie called Never Say Never Again. Instead, it's not failed in a wheelchair. Yeah, also he's still in a neck brace, which you only see the last scene, who's last seen as Charles Gray.

Yeah, being gay. Sort of, but then also the last time, wait no, yeah, did he break his neck in a Charles Gray one as well? Well, the last we saw of him, he was a homosexual and b being swung through a wall inside his bathhouse up. Prepare my bathhouse up immediately. You may remember him. I like this as sort of like a non, like an out of timeline thing because it seems like

it's set pretty quickly after the George Laisen b1. Well, in any case, all of the Roger Moore things have happened over the course of about six to eight months. Yes. He, he, he like, which I choose to believe. He kills the pilot, right? Well, he electrocutes the pilot, having like, you know, he has them touch the metal plate, right?

Um, which is weird because the pilot works for, for blowfeld, but like he, he just kind of kills him anyway. He's like, he'll send for literally no reason. One of my, one of my less valuable employees, and then sort of flies the plane that the helicopter remotely. And just kind of like, Wiggles bond around for a bit to try and like,

unknowable. We love to wiggle him. We love to wiggle James Bond. And during all of this wiggling, not low-feld, not fells like, cackles menacingly. Oh, he feels like 45 minutes. So long.

Do you want the worst line in this? In this? The line that he actually drops. Goodbye, Mr. Bond. I trust you, Henry Pleasant. Try. That's Dracula. That's a straight up Dracula line and voice.

I just, my response to everything was... He's the only thing Dracula line and voice. I just might respond to everything. He's not even gay anymore. That's not funny. It's not. That's really good. But he's not even gay anymore. They couldn't even get Charles Grey back. No, no.

He's shot entirely from the back. You only see the back of his head. It's on control. Oh god, it is. On gets control of the helicopter. And then I've written Bond theme. Brackets 80s. Well, no, not yet, because Bond first has to do his disability limit break. He has to like explain it, exploit opponent's disability. So he gets control of the helicopter, ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-ex-ex-blo-eld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld. Ex-ex-blo-feld. Ex-blo-feld I have five electronic attestants, the stainless steel. I'll buy you a delicatessen in stainless steel. What is that thing? What the fuck is that? Now, the reason it is in is because

Covey Broccoli believed, I think, falsely, that he believed that like 1930s mobsters would bribe each other by buying themselves, by buying their friends, delicatessence. So, yes. But this in the 1980s bond move. A reference that audiences in 1981 will be sure to go, ah, yes, of course. The delicatessen. Let me look this up on the ah, yes, of course. The example of a contestant.

Let me look this up on the internet, which doesn't exist. So it's called my library's reference desk. So I can ask somebody who has a job at a library, a thing that existed then. Why blow-fold would say, I'll buy you a delicatessen in stainless steel. In stainless steel. In stainless steel.

So this bond wiggles him around for a little bit. Yeah. He does. There's no cacling anymore. No. And he drops him down a chimney. He Fred Dippna's him. He straight up kills Lofa.

He just goes. He goes. Going out like Fred Dippna, he drops him down a spot. And you got to understand, like, you got to see how confusing this is from him. Because I'm watching the movie, right? So James Bond and he is like, the older man with a helicopter.

He's killed a disabled man with a helicopter by dropping him in a chimney. Oh, that's a pretty good introduction. And then, and then the movie starts. Yeah, because this is not relevant at all. Ah! To do with the first 10 minutes of the movie. Yes. I was legitimately worried that this was like a continuous series

where I had like missed and now so. Oh my God. So that's fun. Really irrelevant. So the reason why that scene was written was because this was written at a time when Roger Moore was considering stepping down from being bond. So this was sort of written for like a potential new actor to try to tie him back into the series.

Yeah, one real quick. It's real. It's the real quick. This script was written for Dalton and we'll get to that later. one at real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. Real. place. Yeah, but he was like nine. Would it? Yeah. What if he's like a room? It's a child to be a James Bond. And we'll get to the Dolson movies. And I think they were right to do that.

But anyway, are you aware of what decade it is when this movie comes out? Because it's the 1980s. And you were going to learn that from this title sequence. Sheena Eastern. And again, you're gonna be like astonished by my doctrine here, but this is my favorite Bond thing so far.

Yeah, hands down, it's gay, it's gay baby. It's gay. I like the beeps, I like the beeps a lot. There's like, I really like the beeps. I like the synth beeps. The lyrics are, you can see so much in me, so much in me that's new. I never felt until I look to you. And my notes here say, why am I crying?

I guess we didn't think about this movie. There's a vibe about this movie. I mean, Abby have found that it's gay. It's gay. It's gay. It's gay movie. But yeah, I'm not I'm not going to say it's the best bond because it's not technically not at all. No, it's not surely Bassy, but like it's definitely the most emotionally affecting to me because it's got the beeps. And I like the beeps. Um, you got to you got to have the beeps. All right, so now we have to say that we only got like two properly 70s mode Bond films. That's true. We've got to live and die with the like make on the white pimple mobile thing.

And then all the music from the spy who loved me was firmly 70s. Yeah. And now we're just a start of the decade decade 1981. We're just right in there with We've got synths. We've got Sheena Easton. We've got like weird colors Yeah, no, it's cool. We've got Gaysurf, but we're not allowed to call that because we've got section 28 Mm-hmm. So as ever, right? We've we've gotten to what we've seen as sort of the high watermark for at least the more movies where they stop coming up with new scenes, right? And so this movie is like a remake of a remake of a remake

Which means our inciting incident has to be like the British the British Armed Forces get something jacked off them also There's yeah, they have to get jacked off. If I'm getting jacked off, I have to get jacked off. This is a thoughtful podcast. That's true, that is true. Balls, cool. So. I hate that you have that fun so much.

There we are, back to the concern with our authorized leakages. Yeah, so. There's a boat. It's a boat. It's got a missile system on it called A-TAC, which they used to call it. It's a new key of self. It's a British spy ship.

It's not a lec to decoder on it. Yeah, it does. One thing I didn't really get though, because they're on a fishing thing, right? I guess. Like a fake concealed spy ship, pretending to be a fishing ship. I was confused if they're doing espionage or if they're coordinating missile subs from there.

It's both. They're doing both. Why are they doing both? Because you can walk into your gum at the same time. Yeah. Because you have to have that cool visual of the guy going down through the like super structure of the shesiter and then going into the like nice clean air-conditioned control room where they have the lector decoding machine or whatever the McGuffin is called this time, the ATAC. The ATAC, didn't mean that this boat has to be like a target of some kind because that ship is way smaller until they enter that control room.

Yeah, which is like a small building. So once it's sunken, bond goes into underwater, it's suddenly huge. It grows several sizes when you put in more spoiler alert. It sinks. And the way that it sinks is they haul in a sea mine. And it just picture the like, you know, sea mine from either mind sweeper or hot fuzz, depending on your generational touch time. They haul in that it touches the whole thing. It explodes both sinks. They hold on that. It touches the whole thing. It explodes both sinks.

They try to like self-destruct the attack, but the guy can't reach it in time before he is like horribly drowned. And so now there's a British decoding machine just at the bottom of the ocean. I think it's later revealed that this is actually just an accident. It's not like this was arranged by a specter and I think this just kind of happens. There's there's kind of an implication otherwise, but um, so then go go back baby. Go go. Oh boy. Ah, the man himself in his office with the picture. The head of the KGP. Oh, come, right, this is very late at night.

However, I'm doing a large amount of sex to these blonde women. So I was awake anyway. I love, I love general go go. He's so good. It's like, oh, we should, we should try and obtain the decoding machine. And then of course, this will be the point when we cut back to London. And then he goes to Spectre Island. And there's a guy on it called Red Grant who he harness.

Just trying to get that, like to decoding machine for the Russians before the British can get to it. And also Bond meets a sort of kind, heavily accented father figure that helps him out the whole time. Also there's a scene where he's met in his room by a woman who comes out of a shower. Also, it's the same movie! It's one film.

We make it one film, different settings, sometime, every time. It's the same fucking movie again! I mean, normally we would cut back to M and we'd do this exact same scene with that. But this time, Dead. Sadly, sadly, sadly, burn it. It's dead. So instead we go to Greece, where there's a sexy lady who goes, there's a sexy lady who goes to meet her father, Jeffrey Epstein, who is,

who's, who's first line, incidentally, is, give me a nut. No. Intellectual podcast. Yeah. He's a marine archaeologist. He's going to be dead in two minutes in a nut. You know what I have. Intellectual podcast. Yeah. He's a marine archaeologist. He's gonna be dead in two minutes in a while.

But the sexy lady goes to me, her father, who's a marine archaeologist on a boat in Greece and then her parents both just get fucking iced. Yeah, she drops her off. Yeah, there's like human guy in the right. Like flies her in and then machine guns her parents from the same sea plane. So, so Jeffery Epstein and wife are compromised to a permanent end.

And, and we see this, this, this beautiful woman, that also sort of swear event. Also, Jeffrey Epstein has a parrot. This will be important, Liza. Yeah, he has a talking parrot. Crucially important. Yeah, he has a talking parrot. Yeah. Give me a nut.

Intellectual. Intellectual. Intellectual. Intellectual. Intellectual. Pretty good. So anyway, what's currently doing are fast-witted scene by scene analysis, where so well known for? I was just a review. So Bond goes back to London.

Money penny is the bond of money penny. You're looking so old. They have a kind of like charming and energy. The word I would use is comfortable. It's like an old married couple almost. They're like, they're fluttering, but it's not like- Two brown chairs talking to each other. No, just the, yeah. Wait, what? I said it's like two brown chairs. These explain about it in detail.

It's just like old furniture. They're just kind of old and comforting. They just like, they both belong in my grandma's house. Like, it's just kind of like old. Yeah, no, I can see it. I see, I get it. Yeah, Bond is less of a danger now. And it's more kind of like charming.

All right, he's like an old man who's no longer dangerous. You can write the next scene yourself because the next scene is bond what do you know about McGuffin? Well sir, everything. Only it doesn't have M in it anymore. So it has like some kind doing a fucking Julian fellow's voice. Like I said bond what do you know about McGuffin? He's just like rude to Bond,

which is like normally we would like. Yeah. But the long and short of it is there's this computer system that controls Britain's nuclear missiles, sitting at the bottom of the ocean. If anyone fucking finds it, then all our nuclear missiles are bugged. So we hired this fucking marine archaeologist

secretly off the books to go and find it for us because he does underwater shit But he's now mysteriously dead so bond go and find out who killed him in Greece Hmm go sir go to call food and find out what's what's going on and who killed Jeffrey Epstein Well, they know I think they they even know from that scene who killed him Yeah, they know who the Cuban like hitman was and they know, I think they even know from that scene who killed him. Yeah, they know who the Cuban like Batman was. And they know where he is. And Bond's briefing is like, yeah, just go to next location and apply pressure to this man to find out who hired him.

So Bond goes there, it's actually not great. It's Madrid. He goes to a villa outside Madrid where this guy is. And we get a little shot of some women by the pool, which we're going to talk about. I didn't know that. I'm like, hour and a half. Yeah. Shall I do a quick reading? Do you want to do a quick reading of what the little Amazon trivia thing that pops up

into the screen says during this entirely unremarkable shot of like a pool full of women and bikinis. Yeah, pops up in the corner says General trivia. One of the Bond girls was played by Carolian Kossi, or someone who is later revealed to be a male to female transsexual. She appears as one of the poolside girls in a white bikini. This is quite noticeable in the ungainly walk. Now, let me tell you, listen, it is not. I posted a clip of that scene without highlighting who she was and pretty much every girl and it was guest at least once. Yeah, it's impossible to tell it genuinely. Also, she's in this movie for like three seconds, but this is that honestly. honestly yeah it's like a professional model like hmm and this wasn't out of it. It was so now to tell

this movie. Obviously they're much like they're much better now they wouldn't do anything that even I haven't looked at them in a while I imagine. I assume the British media has a great relationship with trans people especially trans people in the public eye. I have not checked. I will not be checked. That's right. I am looking forward to a future bond movie where we can have trans-sexual pool parties

without controversy. This is the kind of vision of inclusion that Woke James Bond will offer us. That's literally what I had also in my notes for us, like because I could not, it's impossible to tell, right? So I'm just assuming that every single girl in that scene is absolutely true. That is true.

Every woman in this movie is trans. Anyway, there's something a little bit dare I say ontological about this, because when she was outed, the news of the world, the news of the world said Caroline Cossie used to be a man. That was the framing that they used. Nowadays, but they referred to her with like she and her pronouns

and they kind of gendered her correctly with this that she used to be a man. Nowadays, I don't think they would do that. Now I think they would say, I may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may or may of a factor would be a thoughtful. It's a nice little thing to think about how the moral arc of the universe is long. It bends towards justice and it only goes one way. Anyway, so Bond, Bond, we're back to our nonsing boy, James Bond. It does some infiltration. He'd wander up a hill and sees a guy with rimmed the glasses and his mate come and pay off this

Cuban hitman with a briefcase full of money. Whereupon bond sort of immediately then does his next move, his next special move, which is getting himself captured. He's like, he's instantly, he's terrible at sneaking. He like tries to sneak a bit closer to see what's going on and he gets, he's just instantly. He's terrible at sneaking. He like tries to sneak a bit closer to see what's going on and he gets jumped. And then as he is being sort of led away, our Cuban hitman gets fucking got

with a crossbow bolt in the back as he's diving into the pool. You gotta say though, I think it's pretty like a Chad move to have captured like a secret agent in your pool party. And instead of actually doing anything about it, just being like, just gonna quick swim first. Yeah. Also, Guns' only dive. Guns' only just fit here is like those short, short shorts, which I really appreciate, like so small.

That's the in like the inseam length that you want to see. So like in the confusion bond kind of escapes and he finds the woman who fired the crossbow bolt who is Malena Havillock, the daughter of international non-sav mystery Jeffrey Epstein. And she's a fucking smoke show, 10 out of 10, 9-piece. I listen, the first bond girl in a while, since, since post-aggloss flying circus that I've been turning the squirt bottle on myself here, but like... She kind of looks a little bit like if me, Mia and Alice all did the Steven Universe fusion dance. Oh God, it'd be so cool. It's very true actually.

We'll be very tall. Yeah, absolutely. If she's fantastic. I don't know, she's got dark hair, I have a thing for like, it's all I'm going to say. No, no, she looks good. She looks good. Well, she's not American or blonde, so I'm afraid not, but good effort. Yeah, no.

We're into the thing of like the transsexual Alice feelings of, hmm, do I want to have sex with this woman or to look like this woman? Okay, no, no, no. The answer is always both. Yes, it's always both. That is true. She looks like I want to look when I grow up. And if you tell me this actress is younger than me,

I'm gonna kill you and then myself. Oh, God. I don't want to know now. Not yeah. One takes her back to his car. And we got a brief scene of the car, just completely detonating. That's a comic, that's a third of her.

That's a comic relief. It has burglar protected on the window and a little sticker. The guy tries to like break the window to get in and it fucking goes up like a, like a, like an apple. Already did. And then, and then later on. on why you always mad at him for this having happened why what if someone tries to steal your car when you park it in like a city yeah what if something like a man just comes into it

James ball is fucking the vehicle's a ball and improvised explosive device yeah it's so fucking funny. So he's like, well, I hope you have a car. And then we come to another genuinely charming thing, right? Which is, I'm not sure if this movie invented it, but it's certainly it's one of the earliest antecedents of it. It's something that the born movies have done as well, which is Chase in silly little

car. I love these. It's the best car. And I fucking love these. It's the best car chase in the franchise so far. She's got a yellow Citroen 2 CV. And they are immediately being chased by the evil spy cars. And you can tell that they're evil because they have the yellow franchise headlights. And everything about this rocks, right?

Like it's a great way of making James Bond sort of the underdog is to give him the shitty funny little car. So he has to out drive them. He doesn't have any gadgets. And we get this such a good car chase. Incidentally, a little detail, uh, he asks if he can drive before just taking the wheel from her, which is like, she just has a first name. Would not have done. In fact, if you remember way back in Doctor No, it was a thing that Bond hated letting himself be driven by a woman. So there's there's your little sort of barometer of social attitudes when they're now are into the there's a really there's a really funny moment where I'm in the

narrow streets of Kofu, the henchman gets stuck behind a bus that's coming the other way, and they're like beefing and arguing with each other. And one of the henchmen just shoots his gun in the air over the bus, and the bus is like, okay, we're backing up, it's very funny. The whole time is right there.

I think by the way, that shot is the last shot of the entire car chase. Because after this, the little shitty car that Bond is in, that gets flipped over and they just put it back on the road like the things happen. And I called the cars where you can just do that. Yeah, just flip it back up, play down. There's another great shot right where they sort of pull

level with Bond in the 2CV and he just like for a second he fully does the like OSS Sony set like look to camera and grin and it's fucking great. I just like that's the one time when I've got the smar thing like on side for me is being like are you jammy bastard. It's like, yes, perfect. So there's something else that happens in the scene that I didn't realize had never happened before. But Bond makes a little comment during this car chase. He's just like, something like love to drive in the country side. And she laughs at his jokes. She laughs at his joke. And I was like, oh oh fuck, they've never thought to have that happen yet. Yeah. They've never actually had someone like his jokes. Because it's not a

hair expense. It's just a kind of like, it's kind of a both a very expense, I suppose. Yeah. And like a fun moment. Yeah. They have almost a little bit of chemistry, which is very weird. almost a little bit of chemistry, which is very weird. It's nice. This bit is nice. It's a nice scene. So like they escape and Bond sort of like tell us that you have to like stay out of this because they're going to try and kill you, right? And she's like, I don't want to. I have like sworn revenge because I'm half Greek and that gives me a fiery passion. Please tell me you got a drop Alice. Please tell. Oh, did I ever get the fucking drop?

The Chinese have a saying. Before setting out on revenge, you first dig two graves. Mysterious music. Chinese have a saying attack and receive. How was it the drop I was going to explain? What was the what what dropped as you want? This but Bons says don't take revenge, don't do it.

And she says, I wouldn't expect you to understand. You're British. And then she's like, I'm half Greek. And Greek women like Electra always avenge their men. I heard that too and I'm like, are you what? I'm half Greek. Sure. I did a rasmus in Athens and as such, like Electra. I never, I never give up the question of engines. Oh, how is Dutch? It was, it means I'm always high. It was like a really, it was a pretty good line

but it was very strangely delivered down stage, right? She's like facing away from him straight into the camera. So so so bond like convinces her to like leave it alone for a bit, right? And then he goes back to London to meet with you. Computers Compute us. Compute. She's a really good. More magephans. Now, literally, like, if we could identify that someone,

why don't you try the identity graph? Oh. At this year, I just wrote, oh, fuck, of course. And I love this too, because it's so obvious that's like, they wrote themselves into a hole being like, we killed the guy and we have nowhere to go now.

We just have to have a science guy and we have nowhere to go now. We just have to have a science fiction device tell us where to go. You mean the identigraph? Hang on down a queue lab, use the identigraph, idiot. Everyone's like, oh, shape it. And then they played the Sims 4 for like a couple of minutes. Yeah, it's like a combination of that

and like the oblivion character creator. It's like the identigraph is a room of minutes. Yeah, it's like a combination of that and like the oblivion character creator. It's like the identify graph is a room sized computer where Bond like I am. I am John Henry Eden. Yeah. It's describing a dude and then cue like cycles through a bunch of like possible sliders for what this guy would look like.

Or different presets as well for like his four different hairstyles. I think he was an odd girl. What's the idea? I know fat. I'm sorry. It's like such a monster fact. It's a Breton with long hair.

And in universe, this takes them all day because Q's assistant is like, I do one of them and he's like, no, no, you can go. We'll be out this all night. Like by the end of the scene, Bond's like, take it as Jack and I'll be like, yeah, there's like a nice bit of scene setting where when she comes in, she's like, oh, do you want anything? And she's accused like, yeah, it's the coffee.

And then like, you can't to bond with his jacket off and they have like four cups of coffee in front of them. Yeah, they still work on the things genuinely. Yeah, it's quite good. You also get like a very strangely not delivered in Q voice line from the Netherlands, which I think, because he puts the nose a bit too long and wants like nose Q, not a banana.

And he just says like, I'm sorry. Like very quietly. Like, he forgot he was acting for a second. No, seven times too. Like he keeps making like mistakes and he's like, oh, sorry. And just Q. Anything to deceive, except for just making it longer. Because Q is so fucking old in the scene.

Yeah. He's so old now. My man's going to get older. There's even a scene, which is very brief. And I wonder if you noticed this as well where Bond is talking on the phone to Tana, saying he's got a positive ID on the identifier. Gator and Desmond Luella, Luella, he's just my god. So sorry, that's a generic term now. Desmond Luella is just staring at the camera. Like his face is perfectly neutral. And he's just looking

dead at the lens of the camera. And I'm like, oh, buddy. Oh, good, my man. And I'm like, oh buddy. Oh, good, my man. Oh, God. Dude tries to reverse the aging process and time to upload seven. So now we have five shit, dude.

Yeah. But the guy with the glasses who paid off the very hairy henchmen in the shorts, his name is Emile. Belgian. Belgian, Emile Locke, which they find instantly the second they have this face. It could be just tells them to be escaped from prison by strangling his psychiatrist.

He's wanted for a series of grisly murders across Europe, and now he's an enforcer working for Greek smuggling rings. So we obviously, this leads us to bond. You must go to Greece. You must go to next location. I'll be in Northern Italy. We're in Northern Italy. We need to go to Northern Italy. Yeah, go to Italy.

He was like recently seen in Italy, I guess. So yeah, he has to go go and meet his MI6 contact, who is a guy called Abel Farara, who is not that interesting. Farara introduced him to his contact, who is interesting. It is really interesting. Really fucking interesting. His name is Aris Krastatos. He is a war hero. There's some ideology here because the line is,

he thinks he knows who Locke is working for, a guy called The Dove and in fact I have the line here somewhere, yes. Drugs, white slavery, contract murder. In the Greek underworld he is is known as the dove. Yeah. Really sick joke. I really like the white children music of it, drugs, white slavery. But they know each other because we fought together in the Greek resistance and against the communists.

Uh-huh. What happened in Greece after the war anyway. Uh, I assume it was all fine. It's it was it was fine. It was fine. Uh, and Christelso has been like given the king's medal for like heroism, uh, for like his work in the resistance during the war. And also, he has a protégé, BB-Dal. And BB-Dal is an ice skater. She does not have an ungainly gate. Oh, good god. And I guess, for the first time since Doctor No,

we once again have a character on a Bond movie whose deal is horny child, which is unsettling. It's fucked up. I had this in a very indefinitely in my notes that like this, she looks like she could be both 25 and 12 at the same time. Yeah. Which is not quite sure which one they're like going for either. And so like she sees Bond and she's immediately like,

I got to get some of that Bond there. I need that old man called. You got old man penis. Like what are you talking about? It's without a doubt the horneous character in a movie that I've ever seen. That happens, but that happens like more and more. I mean, you should subscribe to our Patreon and hear about it in the name of the Rose. But yeah, Christata says that she is innocent in the ways of the world, which... And also, like, we're not quite sure whether the vibe we're meant to be getting from

Christaas here is like, furtherly or like, avancular or nonce or what. And also, another thing that leads you to remember that this was written for Dawson, right? Her deal is, she even though she wants to fuck everybody because she's a horny child, again, gross. She doesn't want to fuck like Christa's us right because he's too old. He looks younger than Bond. Yeah. Yeah.

Some bond. Significantly younger. Yeah. I think Olympic athletes are about this horny being lit. That's that that is true. That is true. That is what? No, Olympic athletes fuck. Yeah, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolute explosion of STIs. Yeah, but they shot surely they fuck each other. They do. Olympic villages is a fucking like watching pretty much through. That's what I mean, I don't feel like they don't fuck random old men who walk by the other. That's probably say that. Yeah, I don't know. No, so like, oh my god. So

find the dove and you'll find, well, if you find Locke, you'll find the dove and he's the real bad guy. Yeah, he's definitely killed Jeffrey Epstein because remember, we need to find an underwater computer. Incidentally, the actor who played his crystals was actually like a shortlist contender for replacing Connery. Yeah, he's good. He's very charismatic. Good. Yeah. So the Bond stumbles upon none other than Melina Havlock, who has, I guess, traced, like, done her own detective work and like traced Locked Italy. No, she got a note. She got a note allegedly from James Bond.

You're right, I forgot this. Yes, but at last it was an arc from James Bond. It was a trap and as she is like hurtising the organelles. No, absolutely not. Absolutely not. So as she is purchasing crossbow supplies, she lost a crossbow on the previous one. She lost a crossbow on the previous one.

So obviously, she's like, new location, new crossbow baby. What are you going to? You can't take a crossbow through airport to Curacy, can you? We could have known even as like God. You probably could have. This is before 9-11. You can take anything on a plane. If it's declared, I'm pretty sure you could have 19. Even if you're like, God, you probably could have been dead. This is before 9.11. You can take anything on a plane. You know, if it's declared,

I'm pretty sure you actually can still. And it's not explosive, so it's probably fine. Yes, not a lot of stuff. A couple of guys on bikes try to run her down. Bond saves her life by grabbing the safety barrier from the outside of a car park and he hits a guy with it and it makes fully the go to horny jail noise.

It was a really good song. He bonks that guy to death. He flies away. Yes. He only said he bonks the other guy. Yeah, he bonks these two guys and then He has to like go spend some time with with BB down. I want to know first There's a very touching scene where he eat bond takes Milina away on a little sled and is like for a second time

Please like stay out of this you're gonna get yourself hurt and she's like no, no, I'm half Greek I must take revenge and like he's genuinely quite sort of caring. He's like, look, I know this is difficult, but like I am a professional this. I wish I could tell you more. And it's actually quite a, it's quite a sort of touching scene. He's aged into it a bit all like he is technically kidnapping

a woman at this point. Yes, he's like, he's bundled her into a sled. And then every time she says, okay, stop the sled. He like tells the guy via Vante. And then every time she says, okay, stop the sled, he tells the guy via Dante. And the guy looks back over his shoulder as they're making up after arguing. He's like, oh, I'm more, I'm more. Which is wild also, by the way,

because they're not picking up romantic vibes. No, no, no. If I was a driver of this, I would be like, I'm calling the police. It is this man's a kidnapper. At best, kindly uncle. Yeah, but. So I want to go a little bit further back even slightly.

Because during the motorbike thing, Bond sees Willas and nips into a flower shop to sort of escape from her sight. Yeah, he does. While he's in there, he just orders 12 white lilies. Velas and nips into a flower shop to sort of escape from her site. He was. While he's in there, he just orders 12 white lilies, as something to do as a front for why he was in there. Then when he goes out, he knocks one of the guys on the motorbike through the window of the flower shop and the last tries to give him the flowers and he goes, send them to

the funeral. This was this was fully my like union jack. I was sure moment where I just put my head in my hands and went, oh, you daphtold bastard. Yeah, this is exactly the vibe that I had for this movie. It's, oh, you daphtold bastard. Yeah, so great, fantastic. Bond puts this guy in horny jail, kidnaps a woman, and then like he has to like spend some time with baby because he's been asked to like escort her by Aris, I like protector. And what I have here in my notes is Bond refusing an opportunity to nont's question mark. Yeah, so he gets, he finds a blonde American who's like very horny in his bed in his hotel room.

And he's completely naked under the sheets, by the way. Yeah, and she's an Olympic athlete. And she's like, let's shag. And he turns her down. He doesn't explicitly say it's because she's too young, but he has this line where he says, I have the line. I have the line. Yes, well, you get your clothes on, now buy your nice cream.

Yeah, like it's kind of, I think it's like a very good scene that he doesn't explicitly say, like, you're too young for me, but the fact that he is aware of that, like he, as you say, he turns down the opportunity to nons. I think it's growth. Yeah, they've been reading out tweets. They just put that. So this is clearly set up sort of as a parallel to the scene in from Russia with love, where Sean Connorey comes back

to the hotel and Tatiana's in his shower and as she moves naked to his bed. And it's quite nice that they use that because it's trying to set us up that we think he's going to do the same thing again. But then he goes, you know, I don't know. And I thought that was quite nice actually. He's growing on the other hand. The one problem is that like the thing that makes us like him, this like being slightly older and slightly less, you know, aggressive and a bit more sort of like, you know, a bit nicer is exactly the same thing that like Because in particular, that line did like, oh, buy you an ice cream, whatever.

That was really felt at that time that it reminded audiences too much of how old Roger Moore looked and was. And that was like part the reason why they were sort of, slightly trying to hook him off stage after this. But yeah, so he takes me to see the biaflon where an East German himbo called Eric Kriegler is going to be a big deal. Love this guy, so good. It's Abigail.

Do you want to talk to us about Eric Kriegler and what his deal is? Eric Kriegler is dedicated to the task of killing James Bond. I mean, so, I mean, Kriegler come on the show. He's a biathlete, baby tries to, tries to hit on him. And he's just like, he looks at it like, what the fuck? I see like, skis pass and like,alon, as listen, if you don't know, it's where you do the skiing and the shooting. So like, ah, I don't think he's like East German.

He's incredibly jacked. Anyway, Bond goes skiing with baby and then is that right? I gotta go. But then secretly, Kreekler follows him and tries to shoot him in the woods. And it's like very exciting scene. Yeah, because before this,

in a nice piece of establishing thing, we have seen him, like Alcif breath from cross country skiing, like ski up to the range and like hit every single one of his shot with his rifle. And so he he pins bond down with gunfire. He like shoots one of his ski poles and half. And then what we have, what follows is like, what feels like about an hour of like, yeah, you ever had a winter sports? It's just a lot of a ski chase. I had, I wrote that this just feels like watching the winter Olympics. Yeah, but it's supposed to feel like you're watching the Winter Olympics because this was made in the

The aftermath of a Winter Olympics in the USA So the Interested it was at the full-time high so I thought they'd set it in a Winter Olympics location Yeah, it is so a bond bond tries to escape from the pits Gloria where blowfield has been perfecting his vaccine Sorry, so bond tries to like escape, like he, he like skis and then he goes down like a Bob sled thing. He has to fight some guys in an ice hockey rink.

Wait, wait, wait, that doesn't happen yet. Yeah, wait, hold on. He does a bit of like a ski chase thing. There's a tense bit where like he gets into a ski lift with a bunch of civilians and that also there. Then he sk skis, he pretty much takes out all the henchmen apart from Kriegler. Bond skis down a bobsled run with Kriegler on a motorbike behind him. Then they both crash. First of all, Kriegler fires his rifle empty, then throws his rifle at Bond, then picks up his motorbike and throws it at Bond.

He goes well, warrior mode. My man hates James Bond. One thing we're going to learn about Eric Kriegler is that he has one move and it's lifting stuff over his head and throwing it at James Bond. Both hands. But he's got to set a word to Bond, but he fucking wants him dead. And I know who I'm nominating for the Cronstein Res Bond, but he fucking wants him dead. And I, I mean, I know who I'm nominating for the Cranstein Reset, but like,

yeah, or also Bond, like gets, Bond gets in a fight on a ski jump. If it, like he's being chased by Locke who has like an astounding fit of like a fur hat. And incidentally, if you go back and pause, the guy on the ski jump behind Locke is dressed and looks like exactly like Luigi. He's wearing an all green ski suit with a green cap and a mustache and he looks exactly like Luigi.

Okay, I'm looking this up now and if this delivers it will be the episode art. This one, I'm not even sure how you would look it up. Like, I mean, I guess I can try and find it in the actual thing, but it's the ski jump scene, but the bit, the guy standing directly behind lock in that scene looks like Luigi Mario, Plumber, Manchinona, uh, how much it goes best there? How much it goes best that he looks like Luigi. Hot dogs. Um, also one of the henchmen in that scene a young Charles dance. That's right. It's fucked up seeing Charles dance young.

Yeah, full of anger. I saw him and I've really figured that oh shit, this is a new character. It's just none. No, he's just there for a few seconds. So bond escapes, he goes to CBV again, she's like practicing ice scacing with her like trainer, Miss Brink. And like I've written down in my notes here, Kriegler gay question mark because the one thing that she says about Kriegler is, yeah, and he never takes any interesting girls which I took to be like a heavy implication that like this man gay, but it's also possible that like he's just like his only love is like killing bond, but I think to a 1981 audience, the read there is this man gay.

I don't know, I've heard about gay people from the film Diamonds Off Forever and don't make typically mints and make a specific kind of homophobic noise. Yeah, Kregelid does not make that noise. So something else in that scene is that lock, lock is wearing a white dove pin. And he, it kills the guy and planted on him. Yeah. Which is important. Yeah.

He kills Abel Farahra, the guy who we didn't care to mention very much. Oh my god, he looks like Luigi. Oh my god. Then he looks exactly like Luigi. He looks like Luigi. He looks like Luigi. That's the man who looks like Luigi. He's dressed like Luigi.

He's got the hat. He looks like Luigi. Anyway, all right, carry on. So, but Bonsovibe's one more like ice-th ice themed assassination attempt where three hockey players, three ice hockey players like try to bully him. They just hit him with sticks. Yeah, there is one like earnest attempt of trying to kill him where they try to jam like the skate blade towards him to do it to do a bit of a slice.

And then they just like pummel him with a bed of a stick while he chucks them into the hockey goal. And the score increases. Like there is a scoreboard that registers that Bond is making doing points. So someone is sitting and like pushing a button button. This is how I'm imagining this. Yeah. It's not interfering. It's not calling the cops, but it's like really invest in just like giving bond hockey score. Yeah. Well, if I mean, I guess you like runs one of

them down on a zamboni. I guess I'll be expected like an Austin power is sort of running over and spreading out blood over the hockey. No, that's on the majesty secret service. All right. So Bond, Bond goes back to Greece, to Kofu, to speak to Malina, but he tries to like find out more from from Aris Gristoff. So he has to go to a casino, right? Where we see a guy named Bunky being fin-domned. Yeah. Yeah, I've just written Bond obliterates a guy named Bunky at Bacarat on clear how this connects. Yeah, yeah, and like also like genuinely it is like a fit femdom shit, like a tall blonde woman in a blue dress,

Scyder was up next to him, and she's like, I don't think you're betting enough for me, pay pig. And like induces this man named Bunky to lose his entire shit to James Bond. Fine, okay, cool. And this lady is allegedly the girlfriend of the dove, who is the kind of the big the big big bad

We have been told who gambles with other people's money. Yes, he did. Yes. Yes So Bond goes and has a lovely dinner with Christartus, which is quite funny and Christartus. Yeah, Christartus is like, hey, you know The dove he's a really bad guy Like you should back him over there Which was not a turn I was expecting. Yeah, right? Table. No, it was really good. Point. Basically, that's him at the next table. It was so good.

Because you get Roger Moves, you're like, Ernder, we're going to find him. He's like, he's there. He's going, oh, it's that guy. He's playing by himself. Yeah, yeah, by, by him to Paul. Fucking, yes. And like, we, by Ham to Pole. Fucking yes. And like, we see Bond like zooms in on him,

and we see that he's wearing a little cufflinks. And we're like, oh shit, that's a fast guy. That's a guy, right? So Bond, like, kind of vaguely agrees, oh, well, maybe I might have to kill him. But he's recorded doing this, and we see the dove listening to this laser. Yeah, it is.

But like, he offers the countess, this findom, a ride home in Iris' car. And again, we get some sort of dialogue, which, you know, I heavily implies that Bond is about to get pegged. I really be most grateful. How grateful. Very. I adore grateful men.

I adore grateful men. He's gonna get pegged, yeah. Gonna get pegged. He's gonna... His next line is Bottoms Up, so I think he really does. Yeah, okay. He knows it. Okay. bottoms up. So I think he really does. Yeah, okay. You know that. Um, okay. That's enthusiastic consent right there. I think this is nicely set up. Like she's, we see her having an argument with the dove. So like, she's just been pissed off by her man. She's a horny gold digger. She isn't an older lady. She's kind of about

Roger Moses. And this is like nicely set up. Um, and then bond correctly deduces that she has been told to shag him by the dove, but like, she's kind of into it anyway, so what else? The way he deduces this is her accent slips. So like, she is pegging him or whatever, and she's like, oh, you're up. Yeah, from Liverpool. That's a beautiful sound. I'm pretty certain, haven't shagged. Look, but more turns down the barely legal jailbait and then instantly belines to a mill. Northern, I respect that so much. Like you wrote them soul, Northern milk.

Yeah, it's cool. This is, I think probably the only Bond movie that he is, where he has good vibes, section. Yeah. Like, is where he has like good vibes, section. Yeah. Because I always hear about the bad vibes he has, but this one, for sure. For sure, for the milk. Yeah.

For the milk, and that's respectable. I think it's absolutely. But she's into it. The fact that he's a little bit older, and I think that's why I found this movie in general to be charming is that so many of the major characters are quite old. And he subs to that milk.

And I can't help but think they just wouldn't make a movie with that elderly, a main cast these days. Apart from Indiana Jones. They did try and make one with old Daniel Craig, but it just didn't work. Because he was- Yeah, it's never coming out. It was just Daniel Craig.

No, no, it was the last one. They just put white stubble on Daniel Craig and said, he's old now as he's doing pull pull ups and I'm like, I don't believe it. Yeah, that's true. So yeah, Bond gets pegged in her like conversation pit. And the next morning they like go for a walk on the beach. She's quite relaxed. She's had like a nice time, bonds had a nice time. And he's like, I was quite, I was quite looking forward to having breakfast with you.

And of course, now at this point, we have to get a woman killed. But this differs a bit from like, golden eye or whatever, where like, it just sort of happens off screen, right? Bond actively fails to save this woman's life. And it is presented as a failure, right? She is like, it is presented as a failure, right? She is like, run down on the beach by lock and killed. Whereupon bond is captured by the men of the dove, who we are told is named as Milos Colombo, which is very funny to me. I just want one more thing.

I do want to say though, that like these people emerge from the ocean. That's true. Like they just, they don't like show up in a car or anything. I wrote down a tack of the aquasquad. Because they just like emerge in where they're supposed to sit in that house.

On the way, suits. Yeah, yeah. They're too extras from Thunderbolt. After that. Yeah. Where they just call him Colombo. So it's stuff like stopping Columbo will be difficult. That's true. He gets you with the like just one more thing. Yeah, you think he's you think he's something about to leave you and he's not. And then he turns right around.

Yeah. So so like Bond gets knocked on unconscious and wakes up on a yacht Where he gets to meet the dove who is like It's Ali Karen Bay. It's Carrie Bay. Yeah, it's Karen Bay. This is a good good twist. I liked it You think he's gonna be evil instead. No, it is like Jovial the Jovial Bond ally character has been has been rewritten once again. And so saving his life, you are now his son. Mr Bond, you have what the Greeks call frassos, guts.

It's not like Aaron Bay. It's the first I heard that, I did hear Thrusty. Yeah, I did, sorry. That's the one that's the one that's the one that's the Greek's call Thrusty. Wonder. But it's really wholesome. Yeah. They have like a real, just like comfy moment where, where like Bond is a bit, like mistrusting a little bit, like he thinks that this guy's bad and he offers him some whiskey

and Bond refuses like, nah, you're gonna poison me with some shit. And he hands Bond a gun. Yeah. And they just become buddies. Yeah, like he's like in front of a big map and he's like, yeah, of course I'm a smuggler. I smuggle everything.

I smuggle like, you know, fucking. Gold. Gold. No, not heroin though, because I, you know, I've got a heart of gold. What about that white slavery? Not going to answer any questions, not mention slavery. Not mentioned.

Because what, what the dove tells Bond is that actually the real villain is Christatus, who has been lying to Bond in order to try and eliminate the Dove, his main competitor, because in fact, Christatus is the heroine smuggling white slver who is behind all of this, and is trying to steal the underwater computer, which I had forgotten about when the Reminders, because he wants to give it to the Russians. Again, to eliminate his competitor who does not smuggle heroin, not sure what he's competing again, anyway.

They don't like each other. It's been said that they have a personal beef. That is true. Yeah, they were like, oh, it's so nice. Bond gets to be like, Ah, but like, he was a hero in the resistance. The British government gave him this medal, right? And the dove is like, yeah, because of all of the other people he got killed who knew

better because he was a fucking double agent. And since you don't trust me, we're going to go to his warehouse in Albania right now, right? This fucking second. And we're going to go on our way. We're going to turn the place And we're gonna- We're gonna turn the place over. Yeah, we're gonna turn the place over. Do you wanna do some rating with me? And Bond of course does.

We get a couple of fun fight scenes. There is one thing, which I think a lot of people miss. There is a little implication here, which is when they're in, Aras is a warehouse in Albany, there is a rack of sea mines of the kind that like blew up the same George in the first place. And I believe, I believe the implication there is that like

he has engineered this whole thing start to finish. Oh, good. I like that. It's good. It's not, it's not explicit though, but it is, I think it's really close to the scene where Bond just tastes some opium. He does do that as well, I wrote that. He's like, opium. It's very smart.

And the reason for why he does this is not stated. He's not there to investigate this weird mystery liquid. He just wants to taste this and find out what it is. He just sees the opening, he's like, hey. He just tastes the forbidden juice. No, this is a great scene, right? We get my favorite moment in the movie, which is that they both save each other's lives in quick succession,

and then bond jumps down from behind. They both like pull guns on each other, and they get a moment of like, huh, which is fantastic. That's really good. Love that. Love that. Love that.

Love that. Love that. Love that. Love that. Love that. Love that. Love that. Love that.

Love that. Love that. Love that. Love that. Love that. Love that. Love that. Love that. Love Lock tries to blow up the warehouse. Everybody escapes in time.

And then we get to probably the funniest chase in this movie. Lock is driving like a Mercedes. Oh, no. Oh, no. Against the powerhouse that is Roger Moore agedly jokking up the long flights of stairs. He does it though. He does it. He's not even going like... He's not even going like...

He's not going to stairs at a time. He's going one stair at a time. He's the little end of it just around the corner. He is running so slowly. It's like... I believe I'm gonna get you. It's like I've been in Monte Fieven when he's running closer and closer to the castle. But he does catch him. He gets ahead of him in fact. He shoots, like, wounds him. The car goes out of control and it's like

balanced perfectly on the edge of a cliff. And Bond commits some cold, blooded murder. Little like a little bit. He's kind of deserved because we established that lock strangled Ferrara, Bond's friend who we skipped over, what was like kind of a nice guy. And Lock did murder him and call blood. And I even think Bond has a line, was like, this is for Ferrari and kicks him off there. Yeah, he says that he holds up the dove pin and says, like, I think you left this. You left this.

And it flips as like a coin into the perfectly balanced car and that is with causes the car to tip over that like tying the pinway. It's probably one of the best things. Okay. So we're getting soft. Yeah. Yeah. But Bond and Bond and Melina have to go and find the wreck of the St. George, the spy ship. Right. And well, where are we going to find this? Where is it?

Well, it's not in his notes. So there's notes in shorthand that only this woman can read. So only a million has to be on board for this. And they're like, fine, fine, but they dive, they dive into the wreck and then they like retrieve the A-Tack machine, which is a little tight price of thing, just like the Lexa decoding machine. And then a guy in a big, immersion, like diving suits. Love it. It's like power armor from Fallout.

Yes. Yes. And it's set up too, because like they showed that sort of power armor diving suit in the warehouse earlier with the opium. It gets blown up, so they had another one, I guess. Yeah, what else? Yeah, he's just wearing a gym suit. Like, Jaya, and it's such shallow water

that things build for like massively high pressure situations. And the water is just like, beautiful turquoise. Yeah, I mean, one has this line. It's a marine too. One does this line that because they're down so deep and they need to breathe a special mixture of oxygen, helium, they can only stay there for eight minutes. But then the water is like, you can see by moonlight and it's like perfectly clear and there's no animals in it.

It's like, okay, I guess we are we are Suspense, especially if we believe that we're very deep even though I clearly know when that guy in the massive power on It sneaks up on them, which he does. Yeah, it's literal. It's literally the jaws music. It's the music from jaws they they like The the attitude that James Bond movies and the podcast kill James Bond have to copy right is we share one which is to say we don't we don't believe in it. So they just put the jaws music in there. You're allowed to if it's cool. That's right. That is right.

So like Bond kills that guy by blowing up his suit with a little explosive charge. He uses the charge that was supposed to be eight. He's so about the eight act. Yes. Hermite is that a brutal way to kill a match? Yeah. That also solves the riddle of it. Why did they retrieve the eight act rather than destroy it?

Because presumably the British have another one. But they have to use the explosive charge to kill this man in the enormous walking submarine. Yeah. Now, we get a submarine fight between two submarines. You get a submarine? Robot Wars ship. We did incredible.

So, immediately, OlaGo has like gone ahead with his plans, like, and installed the nuclear bombs that he's stolen from the RAF aircraft. There's an underwater submarine fight. Bond and Bond and Millie Millie get back to their ship and they find that Christartus has done the very easy and sensible thing of just being like, well, they're down there retrieving the attack system, but they're going to have to come up. So I'm just going to hijack their boat and wait for them to do my job for me, which honestly

love it. Kriegler is that? That's Mark Smarthand, not Harder. Kriegler is that, and he is for no reason. For no fucking reason. For no reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason.

For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason.

For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason.

For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking reason. For no fucking. For no fucking reason. For no fucking. For no fucking reason. For no fucking. For no fucking. to bring up like a years old meme, but the vibe is the golden one. Yes. Yes. 100%. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so the coral reefs and stuff. Dr. Katanga cuts them up a bit, so the sharks weight them, and then dips them into the shark tank. There's a henchman in the background of a scene

that it pops up as credited henchman attacked by shark. I was like, oh, buddy. You don't wanna be credited as that. I dream of having that on my CV. Yeah, Kristallos does the very basic, the thing is they like don't kill them now. Not them. Kill them in the way that's fine.

They're having fun. We're gonna tie them to some rope and yank them across the ocean and hope that sharks eat them. Because they'll drown or like we have whatever like. How much coral did they kill filming this? Yeah, a lot of shots of them just like being dragged through some coral. Yeah.

I do really like Christata as a villain. Because he's the first villain we've had who comes across as like kind of normal. Like he's not got a sort of weird underwater sea or space. No, he's just a bit sadistic. Yeah, he's just like a fucking gangster. He's just like, I'm trying to have some fun and make some money. He has dinner with Bond and just seems like a normal dude.

He doesn't have a weird deformity for Bond to exploit or a gimmick. He's just good dude. Well, yeah, as we know, go to his very bad. Nobody should ever have them. That's right. But yeah, he's just like trying to kill Bond because Bond's in his financial way. And I just like him. I think he's fun.

Mm. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, so like, Bond apparently did not fucking bring the rotating bezel circular saw watch. From the last time this happened to him. Yeah. He doesn't have any magic watches in this, which might be why I like the movie. Yeah, there's not a lot of like bond in my guffins. Like, you didn't use like weird sci-fi, I should, except for the identigraph in the beginning. And the identigraph is good, because it's played for laughs. Like, yeah. Yeah. So the way that bond defeats this is by sort of like wrapping the, the like the rope around a spur of coral and then trying to snap the line, which he does, and then just wait for Chris Dottos to get bored and be like, the sharks have them.

Yeah, and when that line snaps the boat, wobbles, and this henchman, he falls into the water, and then gets taken by shark. Yeah, henchmaning time by shark. Which no one lived to in his own strikes again. Yeah. So, like, they don't know where the... It's such a fucking like... Oh, well done, Dev. That was a really good set up, fungicide bud.

Yes, would you like a sticker? So, they don't know where Chrysadus has taken the ATAC, which he's like gotten from them. But someone knows. Someone knows. Someone who has been offered a nut. They spoke about it loudly. In this movie, it's the fucking parrot. And the parrot has parroted back to bond that they've gone to St. Cyril's monastery.

This, this is literally a far side cartoon. There's a far side cartoon. There's like a bunch of gangsters in a room with a parrot and they're like, all right, the new hideouts at like a dress. Let's all say it 40 to 50 times. I totally remember. Just for having an negotiation where the East German guys, like, I'll take this and I'll just go away before, and Chris Adams is just like, no, I'm going to shoot shoot

the location and you're going to give me money, this specific location at this time, at this location. We're going to go to St. Cyril's. And then when we go to St. Cyril's, you're going to give me the thing and I'll give you the thing is St. Cyril's. Also, Kriegler is like he's introduced as a West German and then about halfway in, it's revealed that he's actually an East German. And it's like a defector. Yeah, it was a defector. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so like bond bond gets back together with Milo's Colombo, the dove, and he like brings some guy he brings he brings five guys. He does. Yeah, this is the exact same thing as when he assaulted blowfolds base at the

top of Pitzchloria with with the guy who wanted bond to fuck his daughter. It's that. Yeah, he's like, hey, you're a lot like my, my, like father-in-law, now that I think about it. And also this guy that I met in Turkey called Ali Karim Bey, because I'm the same man in all of these films. But Bond has to like climb up this sheer cliff side to the monastery to lower a basket down to the rest of them. It's good. Oh, sorry. Apart from I'd be remiss, non-s of the rows. Is there all dressed as great girls? Thank you.

Yeah, and they all have leather jackets, which is cool. So like Bond climbs up there, but one of the guards, Postis notices, and instead of calling for help, or like sounding the alarm, or whatever. No, no, I really want to kill James Bond, which we approve of. But on my own, and only in a climbing-related way.

So he gets a rope, and he shimmies down to try and knock the pegs that Bond has put in out of the mountain side. That's right. All I wrote here was a post is putting in his application for the Cronstein Rosette. He's going so far about what he needs to do. He is. Yeah. Bond is literally trying to pull himself up by his bootstraps, as he's getting more and more pegs knocked out from under. He literally uses his shoelaces, isn't it? Yeah, absolutely. It's very tense.

It's good. It's tense apart from me thinking, dude, you could have just shot him or said anything. But then, hey guys, we're going down the mountain to shoot this man. Yeah, or wait for him to get to the top and then just shoot him. Just push him man. Yeah, or wait for him to get to the top and then just shoot him. Just push him off. Yeah. Yeah, no. A pasta, of course, gets killed and F.

That's a joke. Flies off comically from the sheer place also. Yeah, but Bond, Bond infiltrates the shed with the basket. And then there's another guard who does the exact same thing of never, ever calling for help. Yeah. There's another guard who does the exact same thing of never ever calling for help He like sees the door is locked sees the winches moving and it's like right. I'm gonna go in on my own and Right, I'll start this out right in yeah Aris great. Arthur has very very big on like self-reliance, right?

He's not a teamwork guy. If you're gonna work for him, you better be prepared to like fix this bond shit on your own or not at all. And when Melina and the dove come up with a dudes in the basket, Melina shoots this guy with a crossbow, and then they treat his wound because he's not dead.

He's like in pain and like, they're like helping him, but like also trying to keep him quiet. It's a nice touch that he wasn't just like immediately killed. I did appreciate that a great dude. Yeah, although the dove then does go back and knock him unconscious, but that's played for laughs. Yeah, fair enough. So, Gogo is on the way to collect the ATAC. BB down and her mentor, Miss Brink, are also there.

BB gets slapped a lot in this last couple of scenes. Yeah, it's like a couple of times in a row by everyone in the room. Just by kind of like, it's a little bit like the, you know, the fucking airplane thing where people are queuing up in the aisles to slap her. And the staff is like trying to keep her sweet and she's like, fuck off your anons. Yeah. And they're like, we're gonna have to go to, right?

Yeah. They don't do not be around this guy anymore. And they reject this creep, it's not. Yeah. And so Bond sort of meets them halfway. And he's like, right, well, we'll help you if you help us If you tell us where where Christa says which which she does so bond

My notes say bond fights Kriegler who is too jacked to be harmed Kriegler He glows on the only be disabled. He can never be destroyed. Yeah, so Kregler has one move. He's even less than move on his three. He picks an object up with both hands. He takes it up on the misery time, fucking captain Kirk. And he just throws it.

And it takes him so long to reload his arms every time he does this. He has one shot every time. And it works every time except for the last one. It feels like this would have been George had George not turned good. They genuinely wanted George in this and then they considered, oh well maybe we're doing a slightly more serious tone, we should not have George be in this. Yeah, so they had Red Grant. Oh my god, he is just red ground again. It's just red ground. Yeah. So it's a red ground gets, but Bond kicks him out of a stained glass window.

He falls very comically once again. He turns into a dummy part of the way down, which is weird. Very obviously, too. Like, it's very clear that like hang on. This is not the same individual with that. And then I was forced to escape with the attack and the dove chases him and we get old man fight. Yeah, which is really not each other around for a little bit. Yeah, they're like, you're not as fast as you used to be old piece of shit. And then he's like, you're also old. It's like, yeah, great. This is cool.

Sorry. I wrote a Kriegler goes out like a shit. And then he's like, ah, you're also old. It's like, yeah, great, this is cool. Sorry, I wrote. Kriegler goes out like a bitch attacking a thief. That is true. That is true. So the old men both like fight each other to a stand still. Bond grabs the A-Tag just in time for General Goggle, our boy, to arrive. And Bond throws the A-TAC over the side of the cliff where it is destroyed and the line is... That's state on comrade. You don't have it?

I don't have it. And like the absolute shagger that he is, go go not only stops his boy from killing Bond which he got have done very easily. He just bursts out laughing. He's like, yep, you got me. Well, bye. Yeah. Good, bye. See you in the next movie. This is this is entirely like work a day for me. I don't find it's kind of cool when he made the day to enjoy. Okay, I cheered because you flagged that as a possible punchline three movies ago. You did it! Yeah, so did someone else, yeah. So at this point, Melina really wants to kill Christaatos

and Bond, again, I think for the third time in this film says to her, now look, revenge is not the way to go. You don't want to do that. You don't want to have this man's death on your conscience. He who pursues revenge must dig two graves and I, for an eye, makes the whole world blind. I just want to have this man's death on your conscience. Like he who pursues revenge must dig two graves and, you know, an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. Um, I just want to remind you, listener of the fact that bond

spent 10 minutes of the opening of this film, killing an unarmed disabled man with a helicopter purely out of revenge and lock earlier on. And also see is it And look, earlier on, we're in the middle of the video. And also look exactly like a lot. So see, his ejection seems to be. You're like, see, not as I do. But revenge is not womanly and that it will give her an unganely gate if she kills her. Speaking of only an egg, she has her third or fourth crossbow here.

Yeah. Because they can't be the same crossbow. She's just like the same crossbow. She just loves crossbow And she shot it I think like ones or maybe twice. Yeah So like our our's like tries to pull a knife I guess and then the dove kills him by throwing a knife at his revenge. It's pretty unceremonious, as you say. And then the dove sort of collapses and is really really should have been calling him Columbo this whole time. Columbo. Columbo is being is like one more thing and nice. The guy is being tended to buy BB and Ms. Brank. And then like Bond gets this line like,

I guess she has a new protege. And Columbo gives what I can own. What I have here written in all caps and double-undlined, non-swink. Yeah. Yeah, no. That white slavery thing, bud. You'd never actually checked up on that.

What are the drugs? White slavery. Yeah. You never asked him about that, man. Mm. Now then, I assume that that's the end of the film, because I don't remember anything else happening. But I try to remember, I get a sharp pain in my head, and I hear a buzzing in my ears.

I can't remember anything else happening in this film, so I assume that must be the end. And I have a taste in my mouth like copper. So I think we can just leave it there. Friends, comrades, how do we end a bond moving? And the best, only possible way to do this. Well, the last few times, they were like, we're going to send this footage directly to the White House and Buckingham Palace.

But where else can they possibly send that footage at the end of... That's number 10 downing the street. We see Q setting up the line as Bond and Melina are fucking. And we see a gloved hand onto the phone in a kitchen. You know who it is. Oh, baby. It's Maggie. I want to know. It's Maggie.

Maggie Thatcher. It's fucking Maggie Thatcher. Which, like this, this takes the movie from okay to great. It's a perfect ending. But not only does they try to get Thacher to talk to James Bond. She actually talks too. The one and only. The fucking parrot.

The fucking parrot. The parrot. And how does it flirt with Thacher? Yes. The parrot. Yes. The parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. A parrot. United Kingdom really I'm gonna be thinking about that in my That's the sound of my Firing the sleep paralysis demon Neatly got my fucking chest. It's the Tomatic parallel because here is the Chuckling that is also in the beginning of the movie.

It's a minor. Oh really, Mr. Balmond. My question is, are they making fun of Margaret Thatcher in this scene? Yes, but in an affectionate way. They also have her useless effeminate husband as well, who's very strangely played. He just like sidles in and limply waves at the camera. I don't. Are they, are they making fun of her?

Stalker tell, I think it like, they might be honoring, it might be like humanizing. Yeah, that's what I don't like about it. Because I mean, not like, listen, there's not to get like, too serious for mement, but this is a woman who is responsible for many, many deaths of people in the world. One of the worst people in the world.

Of people like us, of gay people and trans people, whose economic and political policies like ruined so many lives, and especially in the North where I'm from, this is like a person to me who is like not funny. This is like not a figure of fun. And like to have her like suddenly appear at the end like that's okay. I was like fuck you, James Bond. You fucking awesome.

Oh man, it was the Bond. Like to name just one of her policies, like section 28 is like touched, mine and Devon and Alice's lives in a very bad way. I was so upset by this scene. And it's even just from a movie perspective. Yeah. It's been a good movie, so far. We had my favorite Bond theme.

We had some nice vibes. And then in the last minutes and 20 seconds, just destroyed my rules of the ski slope. They hit you with a fucking pile driver from the upper eye on a sphere. They just drop Margaret Thatcher on your lap in the final second. Completely sure. Not only Maggie Thatcher just shoe her in, but like horny too. Horny Maggie. Really, Mr. Bond. Mr. Bond.

In real life, of course, she was horny only for blood. I mean, I did, I did take some consolation for the fact that she is dead and died horribly and is in hell. But still, you've got to put a content warning on it. You know, you have to watch it like for that. Yeah, for the warning. Maggie Thatcher approaching, like challenger from smash bros. I just need that at the beginning of the movie that the capture is part of this.

Yeah, count down to her appearance from the beginning. I'm the top. Like two hours. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely destroyed my brain in the final seconds of the like viewers at home. May wish to may wish to turn away now because Margaret Thatcher will be appearing on the screen. I'm triggered. I'm alone. I'm a snowflake. I'm the work left.

She Margaret Thatcher must not be allowed at Pride. She there could be children there. But we have a science based system on this podcast. We do. That's right. We have a 100% science based dragon a science-based system on this podcast. We do. That's right. We have 100% science-based Dragon MMO that we use on this podcast.

It's called the scum system. Four, smart, cultural insensitivity, unprovoked violence and misogyny. So, on a rough scale of zero to seven, where would we put this movie in terms of SMAM? Not a lot actually. I'm coming in here from the perspective of only having seen this. I have no externos contest, but it's not that's mormy. I expected a lot worse. And there's enough sincere moments that kind of counter that. And what SM what's smart there is like bond giving the kind of like shiss eating look to the guys and the carn over like it just just makes me go like, I have the off-delt bastard which is like that distinct for me. So I want to say this is like a low smart. I might even be like a one, you know.

I think it's about a two with her majesty's secret service, which was a two. Yeah, okay. Sure. I did I did two. Okay. Cultural insensitivity They do have a lot of they do have a lot of olives when they're in Greece There is a lot of which I feel as a little bit stereotyping and I agree It is racist against Germans by portraying them as like big buff blonde dudes with the shirt. They invade Albania's territorial waters. I don't know.

We're pledging it straws here. Good twice. Yeah. Pretty low. It's like a one or two. I think it could be. I'd say one, even. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm worried, because there's not that much racism I've are Wow, I'm sure for a phenomenal response here unprovoked violence He doesn't what he does Get a disabled man in the beginning of the movie Yeah, it's kind of

VOD did kill us right Difference between like Provote it's not like I think I think we have to set out right now that like when we mean unprovote, we don't mean like there is no cause to bond doing the violence, merely that it is like a non-concruable plot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a little bit more maybe it's called for.

I would say, I would say a five, just cause I'm the way it started. But it does, like I would say it higher. I do five, I do five, I would say a five, just because of the way it started to out, but it does, like I would say it higher. I do five, I do five, yeah. Because he does it after a while, he does go this like, don't revenge is bad, don't do revenge, but all of them when it comes to women, like, he can do revenge. He can do revenge on murder a couple of people. But, no, I think, what, I mean, when he kills, when kills lock that's definitely provoked Yes, you're plus before him though at the mercy

About three or about three or four. I'd be four. I'm not coming down below four Okay, sure and finally miss Archie No woman Absolutely zero. There's no miss Archie in this movie. No, not at all. Such a remarkably small amount for a fucking bottle. Why all? Especially for a Roger mob. Yeah, absolutely wild stuff. He turned, he actively doesn't nons.

Yeah, this is the most incredible thing I've seen. I'm not a risk-checked. I'm not a risk-checked. I would give it a little bit of misogyny because he doesn't actually follow through on his promise of buying a nice cream. Yeah. No, you're right.

That's true. He does a wider and ice cream. Lying. They do still have sex at the end, which I wanted them to hold hands. There's a lovely scene where she's crying of a Jeffrey Epstein and Bond Comforter, rather than nonsense her. I want to give it a one or two, what do we think? I think so. Yeah.

I go one. I do have a joke anecdote here from, he does scare a lot of people at the Transsexual Pool Party. That's true. He does scare a lot of women there. It's not a real challenge. He was the only guy who we've seen like, you know, hang out with the transaction. He doesn't do that. Ohica, adica, adica.

So, where does that leave us? My goodness, that leaves us with a score of eight, which means it is tied with honor and majesty's secret service for the Fisk Bond film so far. They nearly on the sea in L sea blazing bees. The strongest Roger Moore bio could Roger Moore now has the most offensive and least offensive. To the land of contrast. Like you're telling you are telling me that the like the joint least worst James Bond movie is the one that includes Blowfeld going, I hope

you have a nice fright. Yes, yes I'm afraid it's objectively the best Bond movie. I also had a lot of fun watching this, like I think overall it's a good enough film, like the action as well. It will last two minutes. Until the last two minutes when I had an aneurysm and the first ten minutes when you can like walk in late if you like get popcorn or whatever, but like I think it's good like they learned how to make movies finally. I really want them to like nail the next one. I know that given Roger Moore's past performance,

the next one's probably going to have him like doing blackface and committing a series of assaults. But like it's because he alternates you does something even more offensive personally. It's not blackface. He does clown face He invades clown spaces You can tell by the ungainly gate You could talk to his gates to gainly before we like wrap this up Why why does this movie give me emotions? Why did I like this movie? Why did I like the theme to this movie?

There is something going on here that I can't quite put my finger on. Much like Columbo, I want one more, I want to find out why I feel this way about this movie and I don't know I Think I'm coming in obviously blind, but I watch some trailers for other bond movies This are give prepare myself for the vibe and I think this is one of the few That isn't just outlandish like this is like rooted in some sort of like, all the most like plausibility. Because in the one before this, he goes to space, right? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Yeah, and there's like, this is bone-to-off to having go into space. Yes. So I feel like there's just more space for emotional acting and more space for like connections. Like when they're in the sled for example and we're talking about like revenge and talking about like greater purpose because he's also mentioning that like

she asks if his mission is more important than her parents and he just converts her in a minute and a bit and I don't think that that's something that's really present in a lot of these in a lot of these sort of spy sci-fi thriller movies, in that sense. It's less magephony, it's more emotionally based, and I think that's maybe why it's hitting so good. I think, and I hate to add so much credence to your opinions, Alice, But I think this movie was created for Timothy Dalton. Yeah, that's true. But there's something weird going on here, right? And I think what's weird is,

if you had done this with Dalton, it would have been a straightforwardly good movie, right? Like minus the that, just stuff, minus the like blow-feld stuff. Like I think Dalton probably would have had chemistry with Malina. I think that the fucking the sex thing would be less weird. I think like BB wanting to fuck him would be less weird, but with Roger Moore, it's like it's a different animal because he's like, I don't know, there's an entirely different

vibe that's not quite intended. And I don't know. I don't know how to explain this different vibe that's not quite intended and I don't know. I don't know how to explain this without getting like very sort of bodies and spaces. And if I ever accused James Bond of querying anything, I want you to shoot me in the face. So like, I'm going to stop with like, I don't know. But like, there is something here that like, I can't quite articulate. And I'm going to come back to it like at a future time I think. I think a lot of it is a theme song. The theme song is like, is gay as hell,

especially during session 28, like, yeah, maybe I'm an open book because I know your mind, but you won't need to read between the lines. Like, it goes. Yeah, it's gay, it's gay, It's the gay one. It's gay. It's the gay one It's the gay one I think my my personal reason I like this. I think there's something else about it, but I can't quite word I will also come back to this, but again, it's it's that they're all so old Yeah, right? And just like money penny is looking down right, gilfy, just genuinely very homely,

lovely last. M is an in it because the actor who played him has got cancer and is currently dying. Like Desmond Lohellen is just staring into different parts of the frame every so often because he's forgotten where he is And Roger Moore looking old as shit as ever and it's it's such a strange feeling that yeah This is a blockbuster action film starring people who are actively senescing before our eyes Hmm. It was like a safety film because the studio needed to like rescue itself after heaven's gate. So, yeah, it took a lot of years to start the studio. Well, what do we do next, Emma?

Oh, God, oh, right. We're probably going to have to do. Never say never again. That's not. What is it, Dr. Pussy? It's Dr. Pussy next. Dr. Pussy is the one that we're talking to do. Never say never again. That's not. What is it, Octopussy? It's Octopussy next. Octopussy is the one that we're talking to someone who's got to be watching Octop. Figures.

Next one is going to James Bond will return in the name of the movie really is Octopussy. Yep. Just yep. Get it out. Octopussy surgery. That's the name of the film. To get rid of that ungainly guy. Octopussy. Me awake and the people find you. God, that's a good question. I'm coming from the very end. I'm just like realizing how little I have contributed to this movie. No, shut up. You've been great. I'm going to write. And so, answer me is like description into the Identigraph.

I'm going to write it. I'm going to write it. You can find me via the Identigraph at extraordinarily tall and also on my googling my name, I guess. You can go to meamolder.com and you can find my YouTube channel where I make videos just like Abby, but worse. And I can also go to Twitter at potato politics where I tweet just like Alice, but worse. And you also have a podcast, do you mean? I do have a podcast. It's called Leech Fest.

It's a medical history podcast, which isn't as... It's not as like... If you say it's not as good as this, I'm gonna find you. No, no, no, no. It is amazing. I'm not gonna discredit the podcast. It's better than this. It's better than this.

Yeah, well, that's not difficult. It's gonna be wrong. It's amazing. No, but it's good. It's not like a comedy thing in that sense. It's more like we talk about actual medical history. Yeah, we just released an episode about the history of autism. We also have an episode coming up on Space Medicine, which doesn't include James Bond,

but it does include a bunch of Nazis and the American Space Program. So that's fun. That sounds cool as hell. So check that out. I'm gonna play us out with me hammering the random terrible drop. It's extremely good that you've come back to that because we really did just start being actually quite thoughtful and analytical near the under. A man comes. It's called Kill James Bond and it's hosted by Alice. All right, Devon here about two weeks later, just popping in to say the word that we were looking for towards the end of this episode, but we never managed to find is Illigiaque.

The entire movie feels Illigiaque. The reason for this as Abigail Thorne posits, is that Bernadilly was dying during the filming of this. The sense of loss was so great it hung over the entire production. Every single cast member's performance is, it gives the impression of them continuing while understanding that they are in the process of losing something great, and that comes across in such a manner as to profoundly depressing upset every single one of us.

It's unfortunate, however, we were so upset that we forgot to actually hand out any of our awards that we do. So since no one is able to stop me, I'd like to say the Kronstein-Razette goes to Postis, who is the guy who instead of just getting some help, decided to ab-sale down the side of a mountain and personally kick on climbing anchors out of the wall himself, instead of of using like I don't know a gun or anything like that that's really going above and beyond in the service of Judy shame you fucking died idiot get some help next time and the good night cross goes to I mean look look, look, I bet you're going to think it's going to be going to Colombo, but actually,

I'm still a little bit help on that whole white slavery business. So instead, I'm going to give it to Bunky, the guy who is getting fucking obliterated at backer ads. I think he deserves it. Good night, cross to Bonky. Thank you for listening to yet another episode of Kill James Bond. Our wonderful guest this time, Mia Mulder, can be found at many of the links that will be in the description.

This is currently during the Kill James Bond banquet of forgiveness, which means that the previous bonus episode, named with the Rose with Dr.. Helanoyonigar and the next bonus episode, Cars 2, will both be available on the free feed. So check those out while you have the time too. But if you would like more bonus episodes, several in fact, going back the entire runtime of this podcast, you can head on down to patreon.com for slash kill James Bond or one word to join our wonderful and beautiful patrons Special thanks of course to those 15 pounds above patrons and those are George Rohack Jack Holmes paint Maccala Sol Amanda Rockdog Bobby Lagerstrom Nikki Kentucky Fried Commie field comm Commissar, Gen-Gen, Jack Bushall, Amber de Grazia, Larykins,

Tarp underscore O. Mothmat, Timothy Pajorny, Jay Martin Del, Pete Snorrison, TRIP, Big Tiddy Gough Girl, Beno Rice, Richard Drum, Josh Simmons, David Wick, Marmaratna, Elizabeth Cox, Alfredo, Kinnie, 92, Raeal, Leo Jonas, Schwamburg, Zoe, Shepherd, James, Nattman, and Robbie Morgan. If you'd like to put your name in those hallowed halls, please, run, don't walk. Patreon.com

stashkill.js Bond. Yeah, I reckon that's all I have to say. Sorry, I'm really fucking drunk right now. I didn't realize this was an alcoholic drink, but actually it turns out it was about 13% and they just smashed essentially just a bottle of sake on my own. You can, kill James Bond, we'll return in Octopussy later on. This has been Kill James Bond, starring Alice, Alessia, and Abigail Thorn, and Devon,

an opportunity as always is the wonderful neighbour, they are podcasted aren't by Mattie you