Kill James Bond! - Episode 27.5: The Foreigner

Episode Date: March 9, 2022

Alright, maybe The Tuxedo wasn't a fair movie to introduce Jackie Chan with, so here's a frankly great movie starring him and punished Pierce Brosnan- The Foreigner! A nung chinese veteran loses everything in a resurgent IRA bombing, so goes absolutely ape shit tracking down the CEO of the IRA - Gerry Adams!   Find the whole episode at our reasonably-priced patreon! https://www.patreon.com/posts/63557106   MERCH ALERT Pre-orders are open until midnight on the 15th of March for the KJB The Movie poster and t-shirt, both designed by https://twitter.com/MiaCain2001! You can get the Poster here: https://killjamesbond.com/store/p/kjb-movie-poster… The Shirt here: https://killjamesbond.com/store/p/kjb-movie-shirt… Or save five quid by grabbing the pre-order exclusive bundle here! https://killjamesbond.com/store/p/kjb-movie-bundle *WEB DESIGN ALERT*  Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/   Find us at https://killjamesbond.com and https://twitter.com/killjamesbond

I'll snap motherfuckers. There is still time to pre-order the poster and shirt or poster and shirt combo uh over at killjamesbon.com slash stores so head on over and now without further ado your main event, the pod cast. I don't know what they say in court rooms. Order. Order in court. We'll hear argument next in case 27.5. Coldwell Kelly V. Thorn, Judge Devon presiding. Ms. Coldwell Kelly, you come before the court representing yourself today.

Accusing the movie The Forerunner of being Nihilist and misogynist calling it in your words a Marine A-ass movie. That's correct, Your Honor. Ms. Thorn, you come before the court representing the accused party, The Movie The Forerunner 2017 starring Pierce Brosnan and Jackie Chan. Saying that in your words, no it isn't. That's correct, John. Court is now in session.

We made it pretty far in this series before we got to a courtroom episode. If it pleased the court, I have prepared some submissions. As you've seen in my scalp, no, it's not typical. That's right. Listen, all the memories from the mock courtroom are coming back. But if a judge comes off the bench at you with Are you fucking nerd? I may I would simply I would pack up my little wig in my little box I would leave town and I would not return the judge pointy are you mean bottom?

Fuck you dumb shit. No, there's no appeal for that. You're not coming back from that shit But no, we watched the foreigner, and we had very different opinions about it. And the foreigner is a movie with Jackie Chan. We went back from more Jackie Chan. But this time, it's a serious one. It's a thriller in the mold of sort of like, man on fire, that sort of thing.

So we begin with a shitload of opening titles, because this movie was made by 20 companies, all of who insisted on having a full five seconds of their logo. And then we see Jackie Chan, family man, sort of punished to Jackie Chan. He has the depression face. He doesn't have the full beard of sorrow,

but they shoot him very gray He's driving like an older Ford Mondayo This is after the events for Tuxedo. Yes. Yes. After he is struck out with Exactly exactly here. He is now Opened a restaurant in London. He has a daughter in sixth form and He's you know, he and he's taking her to get to try on a dress, I think for her prom, do we have proms here? We can't film anything again to that.

Yeah, well anyway, also she has a boyfriend whose name is Chaffee and I just wrote down a nudging date when Chaffee appears on screen. Fuck! That's Chaffee. Don't worry about him, boys, and additionally do not worry about this daughter, because nudging date when Chaffee appears on screen. Fuck that that that's Chaffee. Don't worry about him boys and additionally do not worry about this daughter. But you know, she is pissed. She is killed instantly because she goes into this,

into this building and then the building fucking explodes. It is a terrorist bombing. Jackie Chan gets a shitload of like glass embedded in his face. He doesn't make it his whole thing like that Korean guy and Dianna the day did, but he does. What's nice about this scene to me is that obviously like we're aware just that the movie itself is about the IRA kind of. But this scene, it doesn't set up that there's a bomb at all. Like it's halfway through a sentence that I think goes off. There is no way you could have predicted coming, and it

hits us in the same way that it would hit Jackie Chan. I went into this film completely called. I had no idea what it was about. No, it's good, because he gets in like a minor car accident outside. And as he's about to demonstrate with the guy, the bomb goes off, the other guy is killed, and he's left there sort of like deafened, looking for his daughter, who has of course been owned by the Republicans. And then we cut to the newsroom of the daily transphobia in central London.

Doesn't mean in our town, but yeah. Well, yes, yes, it's in central London. Where they get the bomb threat called in. I guess the bomb, it's not even a warning. It's like a post-hark warning. Hey, just so you know, and I'm covering the receiver of the phone with my mouth, hey, just so you know, we blew up a bomb because we're the authentic IRA, because all of the good synonyms for real had already been taken by existing IRA groups. So the real IRA already exists,

the official IRA already exists. And so what they left with. I know I think it's verified. Yeah, it is. I have a little blue tick. Yeah. And so what they're left with is, who's the authentic IRA? And we don't know

So so we follow this journalist who is as told to like get down to the scene of this bombing So they were talking a bank next door. That's what yes. Yeah And find out what the hipster IRA have done and like, you know who are these people? We also get a truly baffling little line just in the middle of this, where his editor goes, called the Metshin-Faim, monitor the blocks, which, you know, I love to do. Yeah. Um, monitoring the blocks all the time. Yeah, absolutely.

I love to know. Um, so he goes down to the scene and already this movie is not pulling punches with the gore, and this is my first submission about this being a nightless movie, because you see, uh, like a woman with her leg blown off. You see like a woman like screaming an agony. He's taking photos of this. And finally he sees and hesitates from taking a photo of because this is too much for him. Jackie Chan cradling his extremely dead daughter. You're on out. I do not dispute any of the facts that my learner friend has drawn to the court's attention. And I thank her for drawing them up as I was about to do anyway

Please please do you make in my case No, these these are facts that are not in dispute. Yeah, absolutely so Quan this guy Jackie Chan his name is his name is not quan is Devastated by this of course, and it like really name is not quan, is devastated by this, of course. And it really, the grief is total, and it burns everything else out. But I say, Jackie Chan, really good performance. Yeah, he acts against tight peer, and it's really good.

He does traumatize very well. And so what he does then is he tries to petition the police to like investigate more. This is what you have to do if you want a British institution to do its job is you have to fucking contact them every day. You've got to be in the lobby 24-7. Yeah, yeah. And that's what he does. He goes to the Edeclinic demanding that he can see. He goes to counter terrorists command every single day. He finally gets a meeting with its head commander, Bromley, named for the worst suburb of London. And yeah.

Yeah. He's like, can you, who gave, who did this? Give me the names. And he's like, we don't know. It's an ongoing investigation. You're actually making it harder by just like fucking with us 24-7s. There's genuinely very good. Yeah, yes, yes. This is a part that I want to talk about because I think it is really good. Is it's heartbreaking, both in how it's acted, is he goes, okay, well internally, you can kind of see him go, okay, well, this is the reason why I'm investigating. This is how it works. I have to give you a bribe. And so he hand him 20,000 pounds, which is such a perfectly judged number for a bribe,

because it's exactly the kind of amount of savings that this guy would have on 100%. And would think is a not insulting number. And obviously, this doesn't work. Like the cops sort of gently returns it to him. It's like we can't, you know. And it's just, it's really like that. That got me a little bit.

It's good. All right, that's enough, Reloader. If you would like to continue listening of this bonus episode of Kill James Bond, you'd better head on over to our Patreon. Five pounds a month, you get this episode bonus episode kill James Bond you'd better head on over to our Patreon. Five pounds a month you get this episode and the entire backlog and two episodes a month. Isn't that nice? That's a pretty good fucking deal. Five pounds is what?

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