Upstream - Episode 28.5- Police Story

Episode Date: March 22, 2022

Alright, Alice and Abi each picked a Jackie Chan movie, so I had simply no choice but to round out the trifecta with what is widely believed to be his directorial masterpiece (and his own personal favourite of his movies)- Police Story! After a drug bust goes wrong, Jackie Chan must protect the star witness from retribution- and hijinks ensue.   Find the whole episode at our reasonably-priced patreon! https://www.patreon.com/posts/64145028   *WEB DESIGN ALERT*  Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/   Find us at https://killjamesbond.com and https://twitter.com/killjamesbond

I'm going to learn welcome to another bonus episode of Co. James Bond. You know who we are. That's right. And we have a problem, right, which is due to due to circumstance, we watched two Jackie Chan movies, The Forerunner and The Tuxedo. And Devon has now become insane on the subject of Jackie Chan. I, this is a negative characterization of me. I just, you, you got to pick a Jackie Chan movie, this Abigail and Chiloh. The taxi. You, you picked a movie and it also happened, star Jackie Chan. So I was like, well, in keeping with my uva and, uh, and the theme that we're hitting on here, I will pick what is widely

considered to be Jackie Chan's masterpiece. The original police story. Yes, 98 times. I mean, it's just content recommendation. We're just doing things for you listeners that you've already expressed an interest in, so. I would like to see the algorithm trying to work out what the deal is with any of our movie watching habits now, because we had that phase where it was like, would you like to set up a children's account? And every single one of us was like, no, we had that phase where it was like, would you like to

set up a children's account and every single one of us like, no, we're watching play in fire and rescue for us. No, this is gonna work. Yeah. And now, now we're getting very much into like the sort of golden harvest era of Hong Kong action movies. So yeah, I'm not sure what you're talking about. Looking at my prime movies, we think you're like like and it's got Armageddon, Air Force One, Fast and Furious movies, gone in 60 seconds. Not a great movie. They're right, they've been, they know exactly what I'm going to be picking. The 18 movie from like 2010.

And Ivan Gellian. That's definitely. Police story. Police story is Jackie Chan's masterpiece, right? It's his own favorite of his films. That's right. The thing he was most known for before he like, broke into like American movies.

And so police story is gone. It's not a movie. It's not a movie. It's not a film. It's not a movie. It's not a movie. It's not a film. It's not a film. It's not a movie in the same way that I've mentioned three years. And I think this might just be an dynamic. It's quite difficult for us to do a movie podcast about a movie that is nominally an hour

and a half long and in practice. Really? Got it felt longer than that in minutes. This is about 20 minutes, yeah. This is something that I said to Alice before you arrived at, which is that it's rare that you can identify that a film is 10 minutes too long and also identify exactly which 10 minutes they are, and they all occur in sequence. There is one scene that just destroys this film, and I'm like, why is this here?

It's cut us out. We'll get to this. But given that this is a police story, that's all the plot you need going in. So we have a briefing in this smoke-full drum that the Royal Hong Kong police are going to arrest some drug dealers who are, I guess, dealing like, heroin. This never comes up, it's not important. Just drug dealing generally. Yes.

And we get like a weirdly specific introduction to all of these guys, too. So we find out about the drug lord himself, whose name is Chutau. We find out about his bodyguard, Mad Wing. I don't know if he comes up. He comes up again. No, no, he doesn't.

Yeah, none of them really do. He's his girlfriend slash secretary, Salina. So Salina does, I mean, what they should have done here is they should have had like a henchman. Mad Wing should have had like a unique thing. He should have like had a cool weapon or like some kind of facial disfigurement or something. You think, you know, just had like a unique thing. You should have like had a cool weapon or like some kind of facial disfigurement or something.

You think, you know, just like... It's not like the most fun guy, right? I mean, I guess, I guess I've just got from soft on the mind right now, but like the, the internet does just feel like a from soft like game where they just like list a bunch of names. And then you never see these guys ever again. You're just like, I don't know. Mad Wing should have like shit grafted onto it. Mad Wing.

Mad Wing plunges his arm elbow deep into a cutoff wing that he's just been keeping. Yeah, he's got one wing. It's all saying. Got a massive health bar. Also, one thing I should say is that in the course of this briefing for the raid that they're going to do on these drug dealers, which is called Operation Boer Hunt, there's just a guy playing electric guitar in back of this, and it's mixed really weirdly. So, anytime some shit is about to go down, the noise you will hear is... Yes, that is true. It's relentless. Anytime anything happens on screen, you get a occasionally he'll do like two or three chords and it'll be like,

yeah, but for the most part, it's just the single. They love that fucking noise, okay? And like two minutes in. For the inception, bram. I was really getting sick of the single guitar chords. Yeah, because I say a guy's name and they show a show of him while there's that chord. You're that chord player? Yeah. And they're just like, all right.

The loathsome dong-eater. And you're like, I don't know. Just gonna come up. Should you turn your right in these down? The scene where they go on the raid is quite sick actually. I did enjoy this opening, this opening. They all get like individual orders and folders and then you get a montage of them all putting them

into the shredder on their way out because that's how top secret their cop work is. And Jackie Chan is one of these, one of these cops, he's not like introduced very specifically. His name is Inspector Chan Carcui, but I'm just going to be calling him Jackie Chan. I literally just call him Inspector Chan all the time. So I'm like, I'm playing. Inspector Jackie Chan Chan perfect. Yes. So the plan is that they wait for all of these drug dealers to be in one place, which is in like a hillside village.

It's called the new characters and hauls. It just sounds like Jackie. Yeah. And then they block off the road sweeping and arrest them, right? But flawless. road sweep in and arrest them, right? But flawless. Except this except except for the fact you're a number of numf fucking I think it may have been casino rail or possibly quantum of solace. The one where the one where Craig Fingersuck is working with another NYC ex agent and he is immediately made. Yeah, because the guy sees him.

Touches it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly the same thing happens. Yeah, the guy the guy sees him. Touches it in the sun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly the same right. The same thing happens. Yeah, the guy, the guy goes to the same spy school. So like, Selena happens to see a guy on an earpiece and she's immediately zero to a hundred. That's the cops, you know, evacuate everyone, cancel the drug deal. And this leads to a gun fight breaking out. And this is like the first big action sequence of this. And it's pretty good. It's pretty good. They kind of have one trick, which is that somebody gets shot and falls off a roof. Yeah. It's very sampling. You got a standing there. The edge of roofs. Honestly, that's my turn.

Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't have the squibs budget of like a peck in poor Western, but in terms of like, guys just hopping off with revolvers and people falling off of roofs. It's entertaining, it's a nice time. I see in this glass is a really fucking sick in the scene. Yeah, so I wrote this down, but basically, being either a copper and organized criminal in Hong Kong

in the 80s is about how cool your sunglasses are. And the cool to your sunglasses are the the better you are at it. And she's got some fantastically weird sunglasses on. It's Matrix rules. Absolutely. We also get some really nice acting from Jackie Chan though, because there's a cool bit where there's another cop who's like quite scared and Jackie Chan like helps him calm down. And then we see that he's also scared. Like and he really does act this very, very well. I enjoyed it.

Yeah, like he's his method of calm down is to like grab him by the ears, put his face on his face and be like, be cool, which I really appreciate. Normal, normal, normal. Be normal. He's like, I'm always saying. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's on a guy. He grabs him by the neck and he's like, touch grass. L, plus ratio. Yeah, I know.

He's jumping in on his clothes, because attack us mental health. Yeah, attack does have some bad mental health. You should stop right now. If you want to continue listening to this S tier episode of a podcast where we're increasingly just sort of talking about how good Jackie Chan movies are You can get the rest of this by going to deli deli dot patreon.com slash kill James Bond all one word and signing up for Five for a month come Come on, that's two cups of coffee. These days it's fucking one cup of coffee, you know, I'm bloody saying

fuck you now.