Upstream - Episode 29: The Bourne Supremacy

Episode Date: March 29, 2022

Remember when the Jason Bourne movie ended satisfyingly and conclusively? Well what if we fucking made four more. Idiot. Fuck you   Find bonus episodes at our reasonably-priced patreon! https://www.patreon.com/killjamesbond   *WEB DESIGN ALERT*  Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/   Find us at https://killjamesbond.com and https://twitter.com/killjamesbond

We are all of us going to do what we are the two lazy or anept to do the last time around. We're gonna find this son of a bitch and beat him down. Hello and welcome to another episode of, I guess, still technically, Kill James Bond, a podcast between names, as we attempt to kill Jason Bourne, James Bond's sort of non-union American equivalent. I am Alice Cauterical, joining me as ever, Abigail Thorne and Devon. Hello. And we watched the Born Supremacy,

which I think we can describe. All of us can agree is certainly a film. Yeah, they should have called it Born Again. Oh, nice. It certainly contains many frames of film, assembled into a narrative. That you would imagine a film would have, right? It's got characters, it's got scenes.

It's got one song. Yeah, they've got one. Specifically this one. They've got the drop. No, no, no, no, no, that's the credit song. But they've got one bit of ambi and original music, which we'll get to. They've got edits, too many edits, many would say. Mm-hmm.

My god, do they have cuts? Yeah. They have so many cuts. We have so many cuts, but of course, we remember Jason born our beloved CIA assassin. He certainly doesn't. So it's a good thing we do. A beloved CIA assassin from the first movie, the ball and identity. He has recovered his memory of being CIA assassin and he has gone on the run

with his girlfriend, Frank, a potato brackets. Hello. And they're living in Goa now in India. And she's kind of like helping him work through his PTSD because this is made at the point where Holly would remember that PTSD existed. And so Jason Bourne has that. And he gets bits and pieces of memories of things that he's done and like murders that he's done Man will literally flee to go a India with a strange woman rather than go to therapy Absolutely

Maybe one of the one of the things that he remembers Conklin his his boss who was killed at the end of the last movie Driving him driving him to work which to me is very funny for a CIA assassin. That's quite cute. It's quite cute. It's quite cute. It's quite cute. It's quite cute. It's quite cute.

It's quite cute. It's quite cute. It's quite cute. It's quite cute. It's quite cute. It's quite cute. It's quite cute. It's quite cute.

It's quite cute. It's quite cute. It's quite cute. It's quite cute. It's quite cute. It's quite cute. It's quite cute. It's-you-kindly ass sentence. He's clearly like fucking psychologically, like priming him to do the thing. But he doesn't remember what he did.

And so Marie, his girlfriend, like encourages him to journal and write all of this shit down. And we get this shot of Matt Damon. It's sick of me, I can't say. Yeah. Yeah. Matt Damon is- What's got hosting this Jason, just write write it down even larger than he was in the

ball and identity. So there's this shot of him in the in the beach house, sort of with this this journal curled around his like massive arm and he looks like he doesn't know how to write. And he's like doing this kind of like warrior monk act where he's so tormented by the things that he's done and seen, but he just looks like he's sort of staring vacantly. Yeah, he's like, only knows that he's trying to shoot someone with a pen because he doesn't remember how to use it. He has nightmares, yes, had X, yes, and so he's journaling about all of this. Meanwhile, in Berlin, we see Pamela Landy to which, again, I say, hello, stern older

turtle neck woman. She is blonde and American, so she's just getting in under the wire. Pamela Landy, who is a CIA girl boss. That's essentially that. Yeah, but that's her. I think her name and the movie and the crows, they're just like girl boss. Yeah, girl boss. like a name in a movie in the crows, they're just like girlboss. Yeah, girlboss. She's running an undercover operation to buy some files in Berlin. P.S. Brosnan's there, he's gonna blow them up with some glasses. There's already with cigar. Exactly.

But then, Carl Urban walks into the movie, Billy the Booker. Billy the Booker. Yeah. Tiny baby Carl Urban. urban. So sweet. Oh man. Oh, he's like a fowndling in this movie. He's like left on the steps of the set, and they raised him as their own, not knowing

that he would one day grow up to star in the boys. And he's playing. And Lord of the Rings. Yeah, he's playing a Russian in this, which means that he does do the Russian guy of it, too, exactly. And it's not very good. His name is Kyrgyzstan, but that's not really important. Yeah, that's Karloven.

Yeah, it's Karloven. Yeah, it's Karloven. So what Karloven does is he plants two bombs to blow up the power cables, like two individual little bombs. And we see him plant Jason Bourne, well, we don't know it's Jason Bourne, we see him plant a fingerprint on one of these bombs to frame somebody for doing the bombing.

And he fucks shit up, like he goes in and he kills the buyer and the seller and steals the files. He has a silly little pistol that makes a silly little silenced pistol noise. It goes, it's great, perfect. Sweet. You've got to imagine listening to the

whilst all this is happening when like cutting back several times to like like a room full of CRT monitors and like 20 CIA guys been like, do we have visual, lost the confirmed, get traced that guy could go to the court and we have another rag.

Like this is so much is happening. The CIA in this movie loves talking over each other. That's their way of like running a control room is to talk over each other like podcast hosts. And it's never once talked ever someone in my life. Really fucking annoying is what it is. Also we'll get, I think this is the point at which the cinematography really starts to show itself.

Oh, Christ. This is the sort of, they replaced Doug Lyman, the original director who was not really an action guy with Paul Greengrass, who was also not really an action guy, but was more pliable. And the way that I was. He was highly, highly, highly it was more pliable. And the way that I was, he was highly engaged. Really hard.

Yeah. I don't know, man. It feels like he's sort of read the, if you don't use a tripod, that makes you an author, because every fucking shot is just so wobbly. The camera is like a participant in the action, except it's not, because the script doesn't support that at all. But yeah, no, basically his only way of conveying urgency is to do several cuts very fast.

And it really badly over relies on this, not least because it becomes impossible to see what's fucking happening. It's a lot like the sort of like the later craig movies and this respects, but this is like really a step up from them. It gets worse. The film goes on as well.

It's a little bit of it is fine. It can be done well. And we've definitely seen it done worse on this podcast, but yeah, it gets pretty bad. It's harder to follow than the opening chase from Quantum of Solace even. That's what I was thinking of the whole way through here. So yeah, Carol kills both of these guys,

leaves with the files, and then goes to meet his boss. It was a Russian oligarch called Gretchenkoff, and he just meets him in like a kind of downmarket airport hotel, which is very funny. They introduced this guy, he's like, he became rich by buying oil franchises when they were privatized. He's like one of the richest men in Russia. He's just staying in like an OIO.

Yeah, it's also so sick because like the way they introduce him is they use this thing called sort of the storytelling technique right where he's watching the news and the news is explaining him. I've always just stood I've always been, he's just stood in a hotel room, he's not even sat down, he's stood up watching the TV where there's a guy on the news explaining what he is. Time to finally find out what my do-

It's silly from the news. It's perfect, man. So that's immersive storytelling. In a Bond film, we would have seen Carla been going to like a big mansion through lots of sets of doors and we've had the bad guy playing a piano or he would have had like a fucked up animal or something. But in this, he's just like in a hotel room, which is like an interesting choice for the

villain. I mean, that's like a question of taste, whether you like that or not. I just leave it to the viewer, although I will point out that all of the real guys like this, all of the real oligarchs, are absolutely some pet tiger having motherfuckers. Mostly because they love bond films. Anyway, so Gretchenkoff is like, good job with the thing, I'll take the files,

go kill Jason Bourne in India, which to which he goes to India. My notes here say Jason born runs like a dipshit. He does. We see him jogging on the beach and he runs. And oh my god, Matt Damon has been poorly animated for this film. Also completely still like it's moving on a track.

Arms and legs like perfect right angles, just swinging back and forth. He's also wearing like a perfect dad fit, which is like a sweat cover, totally not wicking cotton t-shirt, black new balance and white high socks. So that's a strange thing. He runs and he is dressed,

not like he's out for a jog to stay fit, but like he's like late for a bus, like he's like running for something. It is silly. So he's dropped off the grid, right? The part of the point of Jason Bourne is that, you know, Jesus Christ, it's Jason Bourne. He's like a ghost, he disappears.

And so Carol comes to India and finds him by showing one guy a picture of Jason Bourne and being like, have you seen this guy? And the guy immediately shops Jason Bourne. We, we then see that Jason is, all of his like, old instincts still work because he clocks, um, carloven immediately. He's like, okay, we have to leave now. That's carloven. He's hell, holy shit. That's a young carloven. Um, Marie thinks he's being crazy, but He's hell, holy shit, that's a young carl urban. Marie thinks he's being crazy, but he's not. And we get a chase, which is again, impossible to follow. Yeah, they ramp a talk talk over a camel. Yeah, there's a sword fight.

He hits the gear, the rarest things of this nature. It's not even, it doesn't even do India the courtesy of doing that. It's just background. Like it could be anywhere. Yeah, I was disappointed in all honesty because I thought as I was watching this, that here was some sort of redstone of Russian-Tresden, sort of like inverse thing. He just talks to this guy in Goa, hands him a picture of Jason Bourne's,

have you seen this guy in English? It would him a picture of Jason Bourne's, like, have you seen this guy in English? And I'm like, it would have been no effort to have him speak, like the fucking the local language, like fucking con carne, awesome shit. And they just chose to not do that. Yeah. And I think it takes away from him as an agent. It does also mean that Matt Damon and Jason Bourne clocking him is kind of like white guy detected. That's basically the only other white guy in a shot. Yeah, like Colin McCollough and that's not what goes like. Like this is a 50 trillion fucking yoga people who have come there to find themselves.

So I feel like the movie is missing Professor Chimp. It's a shame that we killed him because this should have been Professor Chimp. I miss Mark Tronner, but yeah. Yeah, Mark Tronner was good, but it should have been Professor Chimp. Yeah, so what happens then is he like, Jason switches places with Marie in the car

and then tries to drive them across a bridge and Marie is bridged. She is fucking JFK'd. She's done so. Incredible shot. She's talking about, oh, it doesn't always have to be violence and he's like, you could choose something else Jason. And then instantly gets domed off. It's like that's an inspector where the Madeline's, what is it? You have a choice, James. It's bright. They just immediately get a dinner kicked into a face. Yes, they move that down.

I wrote that down. I wrote that down. I wrote that down. I wrote that down. I wrote that down. I wrote that down. I wrote that down. I wrote that down.

I wrote that down. I wrote that down. I wrote that down. I wrote that down. Yeah, because like, I wrote this down. I wrote this is exactly the same scene as when Madeline Swan said to James Bond, there's always a choice that instantly got ahead, put through a cable by Dave Batista. Yeah. Just, it's, oh, it's so fucking, mmm. It's actually worse than Madeline Swan, I feel, because like, she, this character Marie,

yeah, and Marie, Marie was like aware of like all of Jason Bourne's shit because we had the whole previous movie where she found out that he was an assassin. She knows perfectly well that people are trying to kill him and she's like, you don't, you don't have to do this actually, and then gets killed. Yeah, 16 minutes 54 until they fridged the wife. Oh, very well. Very well, right.

It sucks. I liked her as a character. She was interesting. She was the only person who was like normal. Like she was the only person who had the opportunity to be like, fun. Oh, god, she was the only normal person. And this is this movie suffers for a lack of normal.

She was the only counterpoint to Jason Bourne's weird powers where he's like, I have a single minded determination and ability to like read every license plate outside of place before I go into it. And she like, part of the reason why she was good in the first movie is because as a character she just kind of disarmed that a bit. Whereas now we just get that unironic. This is emotional support girlfriend. Yeah, basically. Putting my emotional support girlfriend on a leash so I can take her into places. Anyway, um, so this is of course intercut because during this girl boss CIA has

discovered Jason Bourne's fingerprints has like run the fingerprint through it fucking like fingerprint detecting algorithm. I don't use the identity we have. We have this fingerprint on on fucking file, but I don't have the. What's really funny is that like the way that I think you want to run a top secret organization bureaucratically, is that when anyone searches for it, it shows them, no, you're not allowed to see this. It does exist, but it's hyper secret and also here is the name of the operation.

So she searches for ghost Jason Bourne's fingerprint. And that's what it comes up with is, oh, this is a threadstone thing. You don't have clearance for it. If you wanted to get clearance here, so you'd have to ask, which is like a very important way to the ministries of the same day. The way it goes and asks, you get a series of scenes where it's just her being like, I've got the bloody threadstone files.

I've read all about this and that's like Brian Cox or some shit across from it being like, yeah, we'll get. You don't know where you're getting into, you don't understand the clearance necessary to know about Jason Bourne. It's like it's nothing. It's just a series of scenes. I haven't seen Blackhoff's in Vietnam while you were still sucking on your mother's tinnitus. Would start Kelly. Why was, why was Brian Cox here played by, uh, by Tim Westwood?

You don't have to go. Oh my god! You don't have to go. You're not in a kill squad. So Marie gets killed, the fucking car goes off the bridge into the water. And we managed to do another hit from Casino R.I.A. which is when we like a woman and we want to give her a sort of dignified, barifying death, we just let her like drift off into some murky water. And so that's just, Jason tries to like give her mouth to mouth.

It doesn't work because she's been shot in the fucking head. And then he just like leaves as she like floats away. Kiro, our guy is then like, oh yeah, he's totally dead. I haven't seen a body. I definitely shot a woman, but I am now 100% confident that Jason Bourne has been killed by me. I love this moment because like Carl, like everyone's crowding off in the bridge

because the car's just gone over. And then Carl urban is standing there like with a very long bag over one shoulder that's clearly a rifle. And then he just like turns away from the scene, puts his sunglasses on, it walks and I'm like cool normal. Mission a cut. You know in his head. He's not supposed to.

His head. He knows what was playing was like. Dada, Dada! No, it was the fucking... It was the fucking sting from the list or? Yeah. Oh. the fucking sting from the list or yeah. So yeah, so he goes back to Moscow. Gratkov pays him. He leaves this movie for the next 50 minutes. Gratkov has like take a month off to like fuck around, but also are you 100% sure that Jason Bourner's dead? And Carol looks him in the fucking face

and goes, I am 100% sure that Jason Bourner's dead. I definitely have not underestimated him. So then we get a couple of scenes, a good 20 minutes I would say, of Hanlandi, CIA girl boss, being what I can kind of only describe as the CIA cop. Yeah. You don't have the clearance.

Yeah. Fuck the character. You're a dog. Back in the first film, we run in a legal black ops operation. Oh. I've got such a weird brainer that boys. I'm really sorry. Anyway, she watches the first movie and listens to our podcast.

It's okay, I know who Jason Bourn is. Brian Cox gives her the security clearance. Well, no, Brian Cox doesn't. Brian Cox's boss gives her the clearance and she interrogates Brian Cox who says a lot of things like I have shovel shit on for content. Not sure why.

Yeah, he does the Brian Cox thing. He's like, I created Wolverine. It's also very funny that she's like, what is Operation Transstone? I've never heard of it. She goes, I have security clearance and he made it. It goes, it was an illegal kill squad. Yeah, illegal kill squad. But we're at.

What's also really funny is that when she pulls Jason Bourne's file, she's got in there like some three by five glossy head shots. Like he's revission fishing for beautiful shots. That's like why it's up. There's like one and a quarter profile. And I'm like, why would the CIA need this? I, I, I'm glad you brought that up because I was going to bring it up for something that occurs much later on.

Yeah, just they come back headshots of this guy. So what he does then, Jason Bourne does is he gets on a boat and he gets on a boat to Naples using his like sort of fisherman code of ethics that he picked up on the first movie where he can travel undetected by boat. Then immediately you would like goes through customs with his Jason Bourne passport and gives the camera big look like it's me Jason born to try and like see what's going on and this obviously sets off another of the interminable Jesus Christ Jason born scenes. It honestly got to the point where every time Jason Bourne came into shot, one or both of me

and Abbey would go, Jesus Christ. Very quietly to ourselves. It's always shot like that. It's always like, yes, who it is. And it's like, yeah, Jason Bourne, I know, I'm watching the movie. Yeah, seeing the first film. We follow the information back, so it goes to like London England CIA substation, which if you're K-Leb, like, Abby's apartment. Yeah. But I saw this. I was like, London England CIA substation. Like, yeah, sure is. So this goes all the way back to the CIA headquarters, where the director does the thing, he's like, okay, we got a fucking kill this guy. Yeah, yeah, because there isn't a hunting end.

The reason Param was involved in this is like a few years ago, somebody embezzled about 20 million from the CIA. And Param is like, I think it was Chris Cooper, the villain from the first one. I think he and Born were in this together. That's what we were trying to find out with these files and like Bourne as far as we know turned up and like killed everything because

we're not allowed to frame him. Brian Cox is sitting there sweating through his fucking yeah through like three layers of suit. Yeah he's like wow we got to kill him right now we got to definitely got to kill the sky immediately and then Pam's like no I reckon we should bring him him alive but anyway Pam and Brian are off to find Jason Bour now. We got to definitely got to kill this guy immediately. And then Pam's like, no, I recommend she bring him in alive. But anyway, Pam and Brian are off to find Jason Bourne. And he's been locked up in an airport by a dipshit. Yes, guy is like, there he is. What's up?

How you doing? I feel so bad for this guy. I really like this guy. I like it. He gets one scene. And I like this actor's performance. He's like, yeah, I just got to Jason Bourne. His name is John Nevin.

He's like a CIA officer in Italy. And we see him come and he's kind of harassed. He kind of doesn't understand what he's getting into. Clearly, no one has told him about who Jason Bourne is. He's like on the phone on the way in. Like, yeah, no, it's probably nothing. A guy's name just came up and I'm gonna like ask him some questions. He tries to like interrogate born, born no-saleson, like completely. It doesn't even answer, it doesn't even look at him.

And then he gets the phone call from Pamela Landy that's like, Yo, do you know who Jason Bourn is? Do you know how insanely cool Jason Bourn is? He gets the text which just says it's time to start the killing. She hyped some Jason Bourne for a bit and Jason Bourne immediately goes sicko mode on him, knocks him in another cop unconscious. Because he gets the text, right, he gets the fucking call and then he's like, I understand he's in the room with Jason Bourne while he, I understand. He's in the room with Jason

Pond while he's doing it. He's like, he's sort of fun of like, yeah, yeah, all right. And then just pulls a gun immediately. The second he gets off the phone call. Clearly, what what Pamela Landy is saying to him at this point is this guy is the most dangerous cunt you've ever seen in your life. Shoot him immediately. And so he like pulls the gun. Jason Pond killed this motherfucker. No, someone conscious. Matt Damon knocked the actor unconscious doing this by accident, which really did sell it. So, you know, I mean, I said,

I'm very sorry. The George Lason be approach. Yeah, absolutely. He just really followed through on that punch. The house of Arthur approach, just fucking do it. Yeah. So I wrote down the punch noises have gotten a lot better since the born identity where

it sounded like somebody slapping a big steak every time somebody got punched. Maybe that's just because they just recorded Matt Damon punching a man unconscious. So he takes the cell phone SIM cards, he can listen in, locks them in and makes good his escape. And this poor fucking guy wakes up having had his fucking entire like brain stoved in by Jason Bourne and picks up his phone and immediately gets like, I guess it like don't buy parallel Andy. She's just like she just really hectors him for a bit like Yeah, she's like I'm gonna call you back in 20 minutes and you better have Jason born in a cell and meanwhile this guy is like You know like clutching his head like what what day is it like He's locked in he's fucking just out of concussion

He's locked in, he's fucking just had a concussion. He's for city yelling. It's a lot of us are as unconscious. It's so great. I almost clipped this bit, which is like, how long have you worked for the CIA? He's like, four years. Well, if you want to make it to five, then you fucking lock down everything,

and you get me Jason Bourne. Hack tap, bypass, trace, back access. Yeah, I still have that drop in fact. Those are the targets. Big, borrow, pack, tap, black pass. This 25 cuts are happening. It's all very dramatic. Oh, also, this is the point where we hear the song, the one bit of music that they have. Oh, fine. where we hear the song, the one bit the information that he glends, because she tells him all of the shit for no reason is her name is Pamela Landy. She works for the CIA in Berlin, where two guys were just killed by Jason Bourne.

And he's like, well, wait a second, I didn't do that. I have to like go to Berlin to clear my name and see what's going on. And also, so instead of doing that, he goes to Munich. And either of you explain to me why this scene is there? Yeah, okay, we missed this scene. I feel like we don't know like this scene. I like this scene, I love me.

Okay, so what he does is like, there's one of the professor, Chip guys, one of the other, Tredstone guys who we didn't see in the previous movie, but you're supposed to intuit that he was like one of them. He was one of these super agents. And today he's living a quiet life in Munich as the most outgoing and vibrant German man, which is to say he lives in a totally blank white and like steel house. He also has a gun in his fridge,

which is a curly car fridge gun. Yeah, the fridge, the fridge cup. When he comes in, he immediately makes that Jason Bourne is in the house and like enters a silent alarm, it's his like alarm thing. Then he goes for his fridge gun, which Jason has already emptied.

Jason of course has also been trained to. Still guns in the fridge. That's where I was. Seriously, the shot is like, we're following this agent through his house and like, it looks casual and he's like going to the fridge, what we think is a snack. We see Jason born, come out from behind the camera with a gun and point the gun at behind and said, we're upon the guy turns around and is pulled the gun out of the fridge and I'm like, I can't figure out in the fridge. He's got one the gun at behind the set. We're putting the guy turns around and his phone to gun out of the fridge and I'm like, yeah, you can't

get in the fridge. He's got one in every cupboard in the house. Fridge gun is like the CIA equivalent of pocket sand. You know, there's no counter to it. Other than going into the fridge and taking the bullets out of the gun first. Does he have different colors of gun like in the vegetable drawer? There's like one like a bigger one that I got the top shelf. He's got a nine millimeter. I would have respected this so much if the fight scene that ensues from this is him try to like pull eight different concealed guns

from different fighters. It would be really good. But instead instead of having this. Or maybe it's just like to catch up bottle on him. Jason Bonoville, you put your catch up in the fridge. You got down freak. Jason holds him a gun point. He makes him like zip time himself

and he demands information on who is running Fredstone because he thinks that the CIA are fucking with him. They've killed his girlfriend. They're now trying to kill him. Pamela Landy is now running Fredstone. It's the same thing that it was previously. And our guy is sort of quite personally like, yeah, no, I don't fucking know anything.

They closed it down, stopped kicking me off of chairs. This is like Jason's, Jason's one interrogation move, he sits him down in the chair and then he kicks him off the chair. And it just seems to irritate the guy more than anything. Yeah, once again, he's doing this thing. I'm like, who am I? Who do I work for? Who said me?

Punk, punk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so Jason realizes that he pushed the silent alarm thing and the CIA are on their way. And so they fight. The guy comes out with a knife, just like a kitchen knife. He didn't have like a concealed like a fridge knife or anything. Oh, yeah, yeah.

I know to say, what is happening? Because I can't see anything that happens in this fight. I Don't mind this thing right I think the fight choreo By the fucking cinematography Yeah, no, I like this movie. I like the moment where he realized that we're born realises that this this guy has outwitted him A born kills him, but it's like a closer run thing than it would be, which kind of gets the sense of like danger and stuff.

Yeah, but he doesn't learn anything. It's not clear why there's scenes in there except then Jason born blows his house up. In case you forget that Jason born is like a dangerous man. Yeah, and he blows his house up by putting, by like starting a ghastly, then tweeting. And then putting a newspaper starting a ghastly and then tweeting and then putting a newspaper

in a toaster. So that when it catches fire, it blows up the thing and it kills the fucking CIA backup team. Fine. Whatever. Also Pamela, I think mythbusters might have even done that one and determined it to not be a thing. Pamela and Brian Cox stop off in somewhere in Europe

to pick up Julia Stiles from the last movie, the like CIA handler. Only what's really very interesting is they've decided that she is this movie's hot girl. And so they've given her hot girl makeup this time. She's not. She's very pretty. But what's interesting is, in the first movie,

they gave her very plain makeup with nude lip. What are you talking about? In the first movie, they gave her very plain makeup, nude lip. In this one, her hair is a lot more stylish. They've given her a darker redder lip. And I'm like, OK, you're this movie's hot girl. Good for you. They've upgraded her.

Yeah. They've pumped her up. And she identifies the biggest problem with this movie, right? Because they're trying to figure out why his Jason Bourne showed up using his passport with the name Jason Bourne and looked at the camera. It's almost like he wants us to find him, but that can't be the case. And she, they go, maybe it's a mistake to which she says, no, they don't make mistakes. They don't do anything by accident. They always have an objective. And maybe the scary thing is maybe he's just making his own objectives now.

And this is like the big weakness of this movie. It's something that I think about a lot is that they asked Daniel Craig at one point when he was deep into the sort of like I am never playing James Bond again feelings. What do you think we can learn from James Bond as a character? And he said, nothing. Let's not pretend that there's a lot going on here. He has like an objective and in a scene and then he goes from one thing to the other thing to achieve the objective, right? He doesn't have any inner life. And the same thing is true of Jason Bourne, especially now that there's no sort of like outside counterpoint to be like, but Jason, why are you doing all of this spycraft shit? Yeah, I'm just not mystery as well.

Yeah, now it's just he sets out to do the thing and he does the thing and he maybe like suffers a bit, but it's not that interesting. He doesn't have any inner life. But so she criticizes this movie from the inside and then we just move on. Yeah, it's good. I enjoyed that. Yeah, there's a, I don't know, man, there's a lot of, a lot of shots in it. I'd also like to highlight a guy who never does anything, but he's in like 80% of a scene. He's called Tom. He's, he's just got short, short black hair and he's just also there. Sure. What's his purpose? He's, he's, he's, he's tantra. Yeah, he's Tana. That's exactly who he is. Is he the one who is about to get

fucking iced? No, that's Danny. That's basically like each each one of so there's two big CIA agents here, Pamela and Brian Cox and each of them has a Tana. Danny Zone is is Brian Cox's Tana and then Pamela's Tanner is this other guy, and they just kind of each are allocated one, I guess.

It's kind of like forklifts in the cars movies, right? They're just, whenever they meet somebody who can do something, they just make them a forklift. Same thing with this, they just give them a Tanner. Anyway, so Jason Bond goes to Berlin, he gets some flashbacks of having been in Berlin before. And then he finds the CIA girl boss because she's staying in a five-star hotel under her own name. And yeah, under her real name, which is, which we felt like the last movie

hinged on the fact that Bourne didn't stay in at a hotel in Berlin using his real name. He used a great name for that. Yeah. So like they've just gotten worse at Opsek. She's just yeah, she calls around every hotel above a certain price range using terrible German by the way. And he's like, yeah, you got a panel of landy here. And one of them and they're all like, no, no, no, no, and one of them's like, let me check and he hangs up and he's like, that's the one. And it's like, it's meant to be cool, but it's like, why would she use her real name? I think the receptionist is like CIA, paneler landing. Yeah, she's here, Pam.

He finds out what room she's in even, although this was. This follows her to the local CIA office. Yeah, and then this is fucking with the experience where she found out what room she was in was very strange. I kind of like this. I thought it was clever. The idea is he calls the number that he already has for her with her like extension on his cell phone. And then he goes up to the desk,

asks them to call the room. So he sees what room they're calling. And then because he's already calling it on her cell phone, they're like, oh, it's busy. So he just leaves. He doesn't have to speak to her. He doesn't have to give his name around. He's just like, oh, it's fine.

I'll check back later and hangs up his phone. No, it's fine up to a point. But why did he have her room number? But like, why did he have her fucking like room's phone number? That's a great question. Because if he's calling her, they would be calling. That's a great question. If he's calling her room's phone number, which is the landline, it's different.

Yeah, he would have to call the hotel and speak to the woman that he just speaks to. Like, fuck shit, this doesn't make any sense. I kind of look cool at the time. He doesn't ever use the information. Anyway, he follows it. Then we do get quite a fun scene where he looks through, he goes to the building opposite CIA headquarters in Berlin

and like looks at Pam through the window with a sniper rifle and then calls her. He's like, who do I work for? Who sent me? Who am I? Yeah. Have you seen this movie? Have you seen the first film? Can you bring me the allegedly hot girl from the first movie, please? What's my objective? And she's generally pretty straight with him. She's like, you have to come in, you killed two of my guys.

I want to know about it. Brian Cox is here also. And then the first time, I want some dead pound, want some alive. So that's quite nice. Yeah. The first time that she tries to bullshit him though is he's like, bring, bring me the allegedly hot girl. And she's like, well, what if I can't find her? He goes, well, you're looking at her right now. That's like that's like that's like this. It's like Jason Bourne moment is you get the moment. Also.

Just standing by next to you. Brian Cox. Brian Cox says another thing. You're in a big puddle of shit panel line. You don't have the shoes for it. All his lines are like this. Oh, yeah. I can't stop. You can't stop. Who for it. All his lines are like this. Or this. So much.

You can't stop saying this. You just need to note this. So he can be like. Also, there's some really bad ADR in this scene where like we cut to Pam giving an order and she just says something completely different in the audio than what she said on set. Like it's very noticeable. Yeah, it's really like sort of disson anyway. So he, he like arranges a meeting with the allegedly hot girl. What's

a fucking name? I can't be calling her that. She is. Nicolette. Okay. Sure. Whatever you say. She's blonde and American. Those are the two things. And she is. Builders Nicky in this one, which yeah. And cause she's sexy now. At Ward tries to like position snipers and stuff to kill Jason Bourne, and he easily outwits them, with the help of a convenient German left wing demonstration that happens, which gives him cover. And we get here to the funniest thing about this movie, which is the way that it treats German-speaking people, which is to say they love to say things in German all the time.

And so as he's pushing through this demonstration, what are the protesters even just goes? It's sort of like, you don't have to isolate that and boost it out. It's just one that is a joke, it's really good. It is verboten. That's just terrible. That's just verboten. It's verboten. Do you remember how the first movie kind of had this sort of like a quiet sort of electric

tension of like feeling like you were being watched and stuff? Yes, I recall this. Well, this one doesn't do that instead. The way that it communicates you are being watched as to have like Rising threat is to slowly turn up a big dial that just says number of people speaking German. Yes. Yes. Oh shit That's literally true Historically that's also Speaking German literally true Historically that's also So so he kidnaps Nicky interrogates her and she's like treadstone is over Nobody fucking

Like everyone thinks you killed those guys you've never been in Berlin before and's like, you're lying to me because I remember having been in Berlin. She's like, no, it's not in your file. When you were officially part of the unofficial death squad, you never did any work in Berlin. And he like terrifies her to the point of like, solving and then just. Yeah, yeah, he's very horrible tear in the scene. We love, we love a woman crying in terror, don't we? I have to say, very difficult to be difficult to be sympathetic towards this character now.

Just sort of horrendously treated. Yeah. Swimmon. So, so we have a name. What's your name? He remembers a name. He remembers the name Nesky, and that has something to do with his first job in Berlin. So he Googles Nesky and finds that Nesky was a Russian MP who was like an opponent

of oil privatization, whose wife killed him in a murder suicide in his hotel room in Berlin, allegedly. Yeah, the hotel brecher. And then we have to get back to some more intrigue with Brian Cox. Oh yeah, this is a fun story. Oh this is a fun twist. I liked this. So, so Danny's all, Danny's all who is again, Brian Cox's Tanner, like summons him down to the basement, where he's like, you know, have you seen these bombs? And at this point, I wrote down, why is there ops room in the same building

that two of their guys got killed in? And which they were using, why why why would you use the same building one look they've only got one building in Berlin it's it's a shame it's a we work fuck me dude I so Danny's on is like listen you know how in the when you saw this scene for the first time you were like hey it's kind of stupid to use explosives to blow up these wires and also to use two bombs. Well, it was stupid. And this means that this is bait. And I think someone planted this to frame Jason Bourne and whoever that person is. Yeah, because this is the second bomb that like allegedly didn't go off that they found

Bourne's fingerprint on. Down he's like, if this if this went off, it wouldn't really do anything because this wire just controls like the coffee machine or something. Yeah. Yeah. If you had the ability to get in here and set this up, you'd have the knowledge now that you didn't need to. Like, all of it occurs, you can just turn the lights off and do the same thing afterwards. So, whoever's trying to frame Jason Bourne, it could be anyone, it could be you, it could

be me, it could be someone that I've just led into a dark room with no witness of, fuck, and he gets stabbed. Yeah, the internet plot gets figured out by Mr. Also appearing in this movie. And then, Frank Cox is like, that's crazy, mate. That's absolutely insane. Show me that again. And the second he uses is a fridge knife. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh But also because this is edited like really like frantically I couldn't quite tell what Brian Cox

had done and we had to rewind and it looks as if Brian Cox just grabs both sides of his head and gives him a little kiss on the ear. This is going in a very different direction. It's like you're very clever. Just leading me down here. And what? Oh, he just does. I'm surprised. Yeah, that's I mean that's Brian Cox's secret weapon, really, is the kiss of death. Yeah, but when you get that, So, so, so Danny's on before he gets the kiss of death, and he figures out somebody is covering their tracks

by trying to blame Jason Bourne and Chris Cooper, the villain from the first film. So whoever the real traitor is, they're trying to set Bourne up and Brian, and then Brian Cox is like, I love you, kiss me. Yeah. Very different.

And the one guy who so far has been like, yo, we need to 100% kill Jason Bourne as soon as the opportunity presents itself. Yeah. Because it's really awkward that he's here. The guy who has been like sweating buckets anytime Jason Bourne's name is mentioned. Yeah.

Quietly going, Jesus Christ. I had nothing to do with this, are you sure? It was an illegal kill operation. Shit. He's a fireable liar. Oh, yeah. So, so Bourne goes to the hotel bracket where he like breaks into the room where he remembers doing the killing and he remembers killing Neskin, his wife, and making it look like a murder suicide.

And he remembers seeing a family photo on the way out of them with their daughter because once again, this movie doesn't have any new ideas and so this MF loves being confronted by kids during his murders. Love's it. He's always doing it. Now at this point, it's so cool how completely unconnected the A and B plots are. Yeah, what did you say the this movie's rising threat was? A number of people speaking German. A bunch of people arrive to speak German very quickly. At this point, there's like a trillion cops all around the country. I love this. I love this. I love this. Like Pokemon, they all just start yelling,

let's see. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Every step is perfect. Each one of them individually. I think, Paul, it's, I think. Here's the thing, right?

This is a little fact about me. I love a scene of a guy escaping a SWAT raid. I love it in Hitman Contract. I love it in Leon the professional I love that shit. It's fantastic. It's a great way. It's a great way to show the contrast between the cops who are like kicking doors And are being like, Pollock's eye and your calm composed protagonist, right? So he kind of escapes by climbing up onto the roof, he's being chased by the cops. And incidentally, this has some truly fantastic

like early Naughties, German cop aesthetic. All of them are wearing leather jackets, they have the like green and silver cars. One of the guys who like kicks his door and is wearing a knitted balaclava with an ice cold red trim around the eye hole for no reason that he likes to get out. From home, they're wearing the big like SEK helmets to wear like a headset underneath

that it's cooler so anyway. So Jason born sort of escapes and then as he's walking out for the first time in two movies Someone thinks to put a cordon around something and one of the German cops is like Jesus Christ it's Jason born Jesus Christ does is Jason born Yes, Christ is Jason born into his radio and this sets off a foot chase as he tries to like escape Meanwhile all of the more cops arrive and every single one of them loves to shout Polytsai or Stan blibin every two steps I know we already did that is for bottom of the big polytsai

is for Boughton. I've got big polyps high. It is for Boughton. It is for Boughton. It is for Boughton. It is for Boughton. No, Jason has a problem here, which is that they've disabled his amazing teleportation powers from the first movie, and he has to actually escape. He loses them by giving them a little loop, do loop.

Yeah, it's fun. he loses them by giving them a little loop, do you loop? Every single pop in Berlin has like the easiest to lose AI on the fucking planet. Yeah, like must have been to vent. Every, every single cop he jumps onto a boat because he remembers his training as a fisherman and like he loses them after. He instinctively seeks out boats. and then like, it's usually just the end of the day. Instinctively seeks out boats. Then they're like, have you checked out the steers on this leather jacket, this amazing. All of these guys are like going to Berkheim later.

That's fucking sick, bro. That's fucking sick nasty. I wish fucking sick nasty. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I really enjoy all the fits. I enjoyed the way they act.

I think it's cool that they are essentially NPCs. It's really good. The German cops really are the many cowfmens of this movie. They just completely derailed the movie for me. Absolutely. Come on the part. All of you. Yeah.

The entire Berlin police, g Come on the pod, all of you. Yeah, the entire Berlin police, guessing on the pod. I just got like a pod. So this is a second time I'll ask that you have complemented the output of specifically German police, because I remember when we did octopus, you were like need to cop that green motorcycle. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, before they they decided to make it into the kind of EU bullshit where everything was dark blue, when German cops had green as a color, I think it was based, and I'm standing by this,

especially a green leather jacket anyway. So Pamela goes to Hotel Brecker, and she goes to the room that Jason Bourne was like scratching around and having memories. and she's like, what happened here? I remember what happened here. This guy Nesky got killed here and she weirdly she says, I remember a photo of a chalk outline on the floor which I don't, maybe there's a carpet. That must have been quite difficult to do. Yeah, a guy just chalking a hotel carpet.

And she's like, wait, wait a second. This is, so he killed Neskey on Conklin's orders as like a sort of an unauthorized thing. This, what does this mean? Right. I'm starting to look more suspiciously at my coworker who like has not done any tasks at all. what does this mean? Right? I'm starting to look more suspiciously at my co-worker who, like, there's not done any tasks at all.

He's just been present. Yeah. Not even faking it. Kind of ridiculous. So, we see that Brian Cox calls Gretchenkov. And it was them that embezzled the 20 million. And like, Conklin was in on it and had a little bit of it. And those two are the guys who were in on it. it and like they killed Nesky as part of this.

And now they have to kill Bourne to try and cover it up. And then basically Grachkov's like, I get fucked, I'm not asked. Like Jason Bourne's already dead, I don't believe you, fuck you. Yeah, my guy told me he was 100% confident that Jason Bourne is dead. Yeah. And he wouldn't be wrong. This is a great example in trusting your people.

So delicate and then you trust the results that you have. When Brian Cox hangs up, Jason Bourne is obviously behind him in the hotel room. And tape recording the whole thing. Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Brian Cox pisses his pants. He's like, you're an animal Wolverine. You're always being animal.

I created you goddamn mutants. He really is just fucking doing X-Men here, but he's like, okay, okay, kill me then. And Jason Bourne goes, no, she wouldn't want me to. What I'm instead gonna do is I'm gonna take the tape. I'm gonna give that to Pamela. And I'm gonna leave you a loaded gun. Trusting that you won't shoot Pamela or shoot me in the back as I'm leaving.

Yeah, you should have done that. If someone had loaded gun and then like turn my back on them. It's like such a like 19 1940s British Jason Bourne. I've left you your service revolver so you can commit honorable suicide. He leaves. Pamela walks in, I guess, like it's like a re-fucking revolving door in the so-called in the fucking way. Yeah, exactly. You know, he points the gun at her and she's like, I fucking knew it was you. And then he does it. He does the thing. He kills himself like an idiot. Why would he do this?

And then he does it. He does the thing. He kills himself like an idiot. Why would he do this? There is no reason. Doesn't make really any sense at all. But that's, yep. And that's that. So, you would think this would be the end of the movie, but. But now, we have a guy we forgot to check back in on Fanny. Yes. Yes. There is a guy doing the funniest activity. It's possible to do. on fairly. Yes. Yes. There is a guy doing the funniest activity. It's possible to do. Yeah. This is so funny. Carl Urban is in Clapham Inferno's Moscow. The worst club I've ever seen in my life. This is genuinely unbelievable, right? So it cuts to the inside of a club. And as a normal human being, when you see the inside of a club you go, I yes, I understand the time of day that this must be occurring. Yes. Yes. Because like Nesky is fucking in there. Not whatever it's called. The name is

color, but it's a little yeah color. Yeah, Mark Strong is in there. Mark Strong. The best guy in all of these movies can't be Mark Strong. We can't say that the guy in all of these movies is Mark Strong when it isn't. Perhaps you can't. be Mark Strong. We can't say that the guy in all of these movies is Mark Strong when it isn't. Perhaps you can't, but Mark Strong is in there. And he's surrounded by women and he gets the fucking call on his phone. It's just like a,

Ari Jason Bourne, following up on this. And he goes out for fuck's sake and walks out through the doors and you see it's like three p.m. Yeah! Total daylight. Yeah, it's great for me. Like all these drinking, all these girls on there in that washroom evening skirts, you

get something walks outside and it's just the middle of the day. And Gretch comes like, like, what have you been and he's like, you told me to take a month off. Like, I've been here the whole time. He's getting his fucking money so I've had that month off. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.

And so Jason Bourne has arrived in Moscow. Pamela tips off the Russians that he's coming, just to be helpful, I guess. And so he has to like escape from the cops in a taxi. We have to, this being a Jason Bourne movie, he has to escape from the cops in a shitty little car, in this case it's like a vulgar taxi. But the cops in a taxi. We have to, this being a Jason Bourne movie, he has to escape from the cops in a shitty little car, in this case, it's like a vulgar taxi. But the cops are onto him and they pursue him.

And so too does fucking Carl Urban, who we see is an FSB agent. He works for the Russian Secret Service, which this is fine, Good. I like this. It's fun to have a word. Jason Bourne is walking by the side of a river and Carla, but it's on the bridge. Maybe like 20 to 30. He's behind it and in broad daylight, just like pulls out a gun and shoots him in his shoulder. And then the car's right up in a rest collar. And he's like, I work in the FSB.

Yeah, I have I have a literal get out of jail free card. But I want to get back to that club now He's just he's so done with Jason born. He's like doing this on his lunch break Honestly, so good. He sees Jason born. He's like all right bullet time It's there's no planning. There's nothing else there. He only strikes by rivers You get he fires in broad daylight and then like a bunch of cops around him and he like drops his gun and just yells safe and they go, ah fuck. Ah, skinshies.

So at this point, Jason Bond has been shot and what he has to do is he has to break into a supermarket and confront the most tactical Russians of all, super market security guards. Oh, Christ. He grabs some like... All clots, he's all cop. Yeah, he grabs some bandages. He grabs some vodka. One of the Russian security guys tries to stuff him.

Curiously, they're not wearing the like blue urban camouflage that Russian super market security wear. But one of them tries to stop him, he's born, just pulls a gun on him. And this sets off chasing number two. He also spits vodka into a police officer's face in a very petty move. It's quite funny. Yes, he does.

Yes, he does. And then, so the cops are chasing him. Kieros chasing him in a, like a Mercedes G-Wagon that he's like, card jacked. And then my favorite part of this, at one point, one of the cops just goes, you know, this is too much for us requesting FSB backup. And we cut to four guys wearing leather jackets over suits driving Mercedes e-classes arrive on the C and that's it. That's the FSB.

I love them. Oh, it's so good. We get a pretty cool car chase. Yeah, yeah, no, you're not a good car chase. I've written down my most visibly irritated note in this entire podcast here, which is nice chase if I could see any of it because the cuts become unbearable at this point. The way that they have to convey fastness is you get a shot of Jason changing the gear, you get a shot of his foot on the accelerator, and then you get another shot. And they do this like gear change foot thing, like three or four times in this chase. It's real bad. So he evades the cops and then he and Carol drive into a tunnel to do a kind of car jutsu

fights. Yeah, yeah, it's pretty, it's pretty sick. I have a gun fight out. Yeah. And then he like drives Carol into a lane divider. If you get into a really bad car chase and a really bad car crash, I mean, in your life, generally speaking, you can apply the wisdom of the born movies. He's walk it off. Jason born. He's fine.

He just gets out and goes, oh, Lord. He just he just gets out. Seize Carol, who is like, I'm not sure if we're meant to understand that he is dying or if he's just badly injured. I guess we'll decide whether or not he will decide on that based on whether or not he's in the third film. But he chooses not to shoot him at least and he just leaves. Yeah, he's a bit walks out of the tunnel and like nobody. The way the way that cops there and he just goes like it is time now for me to head on out like fraud daylight just walks out of the fucking not even like hug in a wall straight

out of a center of the tunnel. Yeah, I think the thing is the scene about Russian cops is if they're going to arrest you, you can just walk on. No, no, no, you don't. That's true. That's true. Click them on the nose. Also, the way that the way that they convey that Mark that Carl Erwin is dying or whatever is that he has two streaks of stage blood and they have sprinkled some fucking safety glass on top of his head like he's covered in it.

He looks like a pastry. It looks like sugar. It really fucking. Probably is. Yeah, sugar glass in the space. Like a glazed collar. Yeah, exactly. And then Gretchenkova is arrested for some reason, I don't know why.

This is the most optimistic thing. Pat Wheatley Pamela learned she has fixed it for the FSB to arrest Gretchenkoff for corruption, I guess, which is hysterical. Giving him a medal, which is what they would do. Even if you want to get rid of an oligarch, you throw them out of a window or something. You don't arrest them. Also, he's still $20 million from the CIA. Surely they'd be like, yes, well done. He does look a bit like hot girls.

The red work was. Yeah, well anyway. So what happens then is Jason Bond has learned at some point during this shit. The daughter of Nesky, the politician that he killed, is living in the project outside of town. And he goes to the Russian tower block that James Bond goes to at the end of Spectre to have an identical moment even though she's on top of the block.

Yeah, of course. Yeah, he goes there, he breaks into her house like a fucking nonce, holds her at gunpoint and is like, I'm not gonna hurt you. I can't sell Geri and love not. Yeah. He says out loud, he also says the word you're older than I thought you'd be as well, and I remember the nonce, which is the first time I've hit Jason Born with a nonce. Yeah, that's not.

Now, I mean, first of all, just knock on her door, like a normal person. Second of all, this scene is so clearly like, Matt Damon going, can I please do some acting in this movie? Just as a tree. As a tree. At the end, can I get five minutes

where this fucker has emotions? Because he doesn't have any, when he fucking looks at his dead girlfriend. But now he gets his redemptive moment. One of the things I do appreciate about this movie is that it seems empty and pathetic. I'm not sure if it's intended to, but he looks like shit. He's probably broken a leg or something in Germany. He's been shot.

He looks exhausted. He's like, I would want He looks exhausted and he's like, I would want to know if it was me, I killed your parents. Yeah, you're mother. Yeah, but like, it's touching and it's nice that he feels the need to kind of apologize and tell her the truth,

but also like, he doesn't make himself physically vulnerable when he does this. So like, what the, it's like a gun. Yeah, like what the fuck is she supposed to do? Like, he should have given her the gun. That's the way this scene goes, is you give her the gun and you go,

that you can kill me if you want and then she goes, no, I don't want to, like I forgive you. Like that's how you write this scene. Otherwise, he just turns up and just ruins this woman's life again and then leaves. Yeah, yeah. He doesn't even tell her why.

He's not even like, yeah, it was part of a CIA death squad. You're just like a death squad. No, I just didn't even tell her it was part of a CIA death squad You just like that No, I just don't have the clear is like fuck it now. Yeah, no, I I just killed them on on orders from Tim Westwood From Pimp my ride you can't just read it radio DJ I think the Tim Westwood bit might be our single least and I've dropped it for any listeners outside of. Yo, doc, I murdered your parents. I don't know if I was kidding. I was a secret CIA black ops kill squad.

My my two notes for this scene are just like in brackets kindly lovingly. I killed your parents. And then afterwards like he's really working through his own emotions here by just going to a woman's house and being like, yeah, I killed your mama and dad. Yeah. And I feel bad about it. So you can't be mad at me. He'd be bye. And so he leaves. He bumps into James Bond dropping off the Algerian love nots. It's on the way ahead. Yeah. He just, he just, he's just an absolute

tower block. He just head in there. You finish your plot off and then you, you crack right on. The thing that I do like here is the way that it's shot, the way that it's acted is that he doesn't really look that absolved. He looks like shit still. He looks pathetic. He just walks away. This is where the movie was originally going to end. This is where it should have ended. This is where the franchise should have ended. Yeah. Again, another movie over. Actually, the franchise should have ended at the end of the previous film.

Well, yeah, that's true. But if we couldn't have that, then ending here would have been fine. But the thing about Americans is that they're infants, and they don't like films that make them feel bad, even when it makes them feel bad by accident. And so this ending didn't test very well, because it made people sad. So does the CIA murder not get a happy ending. So, so instead they had to pull Matt Damon off of oceans 12 and do reshoots for the new ending, which tested much higher, which is Hamila Landy is in New York hanging out, working, looking at Jason Bourne's three by five glasses. And she gets a phone call and she doesn't immediately do the you're

outside the fucking window with a sniper rifle again, aren't you, it shit that I would do. She goes, she's just like giving him the finger from the from the town. How many fingers are in the whole of that? She's like, she doesn't try and shine laser pointer out of something. No, she's like, who is this? It's Jason born. And Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. It's Jason born. And I knew this was going to be the fucking Moby scene. We're moving towards it because the last movie ended with

Moby. And so, so will this. She's like, you should come in in we can talk about it. He's like no She's like well, okay, but I want you to know that the CIA is good now We would never do the bad things again. We're nice also here is your dead name You here is the name in your files. It's David Webb. You were born in Nixon, Missouri. He's like He reacts to this like, uh-huh. And then- So it's like, what do you, okay, Kairzman? Great.

I used to be called David. He used to be called David Mitchell and Webb. They should have given him, they should have given him, because David Webb is still like a cool spider. He should have been like, your real name is Heronymous Diffship. Like, you're real name is Raphael and Brojus Kustot.

Or even just like, in his stockings, this is like, your name was Rachel Webb. Like, oh. Yeah, we used hormones to make them all male. But yeah, and he does the fucking thing again. He's like, get some rest, Pam. You look tired because I'm looking at you from outside with a sniper rifle, because that's the thing

that I like to do, because I'm Jason Bourne. I'm outside your windows, I'm looking in, I'm seeing what you from outside with a sniper rifle because that's the thing that I like to do because I'm Jason Bourne I'm outside your windows. I'm looking in. I'm seeing what's going on. How's it going? I Hate this fucking can't so much wonderful. It's stupid. I hate this movie. It should have ended Let's go to a friend of show Phoebe for analysis. I don't think that this is a piece of art. I think that this is a cynical as a piece of art, I think this is a cynical piece of fanfaction. That's fucking right. That's a good job. Which is a fucking drop of herb that I have on record because it's everything we've

ever talked about. That's right. That's right. That's the thing that I make you walk. This is shit. We should accrue for either. We should accrue for either. Into the mega drop for when we kill James Bond.

Oh no. Well, this has been the born supremacy. into the mega drop for when we kill James Bond. Oh no. Well, this has been the born supremacy. Do we have any closing fucking thoughts about this? Yeah, I mean, I think it tells us something interesting about sequels, right? Because I compare and contrast this to the Matrix reloaded, which not everyone likes that film, but as a sequel,

I think it is exceptionally good, because it expands. Has some means to it, yeah. Yeah, it also like expands on the original. It's like, oh, all that stuff about like breaking out of the system, actually, that's just another means of control. Cool, great way to like escalate what you set up

in the first one. This like doesn't really add anything to the themes of the first one, which were like, hey, have you tried being normal? And this one is like, and no, it's cooler if you're not. I'm like, okay, great. That's better than normal. And this one's like, no, and it's cool that I haven't. Thank you. They try, they try to pull off the fucking laziest plot hook possible of, you think you're out, but you get dragged back in because you can never really be out because of how special you are, right? It's the easiest thing to land in the world and they don't fucking land it. It's insane.

I'm film, but I'm just like, you're not, it's not about anything anymore. It should have been called born again. But we have a signed space system on this podcast. That's right. We do. We have the girth system which stands for going through my notes here. How much this movie cares about glory intellectualism respecting the troops and heterosexuality. So Glory in this movie. Do we think that this is a particularly glorious or glory obsessed movie? He's not really that bothered about like honor and patriotism and stuff. Certainly like there's there's less of that kind of thing than you would expect from a post 911 movie.

So he does bring Brian Cox the option of an honorable suicide rather than kill him himself, which is shown to be morally better. Yes, that's true. That is true. But even so, because he's black ops enough to books, I don't know, I think it's going to score fairly low overall. I do feel like I got one. I wouldn't go down to a one. I think the suicide thing makes it a two. Okay. Again, he's not particularly insecure about like being clever is not a a dipshit thing to do. Yeah, intellectuals. It's like a point dexter like a, oh, I'm not manly and stuff. But that might be good. But

no, again, I think I fell alone. I think there's going to be a one here. I don't think I'd like, yeah, sure. Respecting the troops last time we get it too a little bit a little bit more this time. Yeah, it's slowly bumping up We got more CIA the CIA the CIA like has authorized this death squad, but it's done it for like Sort of like broadly necessary reasons to the CIA did it But also it would never do it again kind Kind of like, it's such a damage control thing, and it fits into the pattern of damage control that the CIA would use in real life for things like all of the torture it did,

of being like, yeah, no, all of the same people are still in charge, and in fact, we rewarded and promoted them, but that was a different time in our nation's history, and we would never do that again now. We've gone from the CIA contains one rogue element to the CIA contains one rogue man, Brian Cox. Yes, yeah. And crucially, all that's required is that we provide the CIA with the girl bosses it

needs to rigorously audit itself. Yes, that's right. Three? I'd say three. I don't think it's up there with like zero dark thirst. You're anything, but yeah, I think three. It's not overly insecure about heterosexuality though, because Jason Bourne is like pretty sexless in this actually, because it's going to get JFK in the first 15 minutes. Plus Brian Cox gives Danny Zorn a little kiss. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, he does give him a little kiss, which is quite, I think, quite forward. I think it's quite, um, yeah, anything is very, yeah. It's groundbreaking for the time. Yeah. I mean, Jason Bourne is quite sexless as a hero in the same way that, like, John Wick is. Yeah. Agent 47. Yeah. I could, I could quite happily do.

Well, no, hold on. Because he is. Yeah, stop bringing up the hitman movie. No, I won't. I'm not going to make us do it. I, I'm, I'm not gonna make us do it. I'm gonna make you do it. He does get spurred onto his rampage of revenge by the loss of his woman, which is true.

True. Yeah, we do fridge. We fridge the fuck out of Frank and Trinsey, yeah. Yeah, true. How do we feel about a one or a two? I go, I go, I go one. I mean mean it's bad, but it's like less than last time Yeah, one two three four six seven. That's a double. Oh seven. So it's getting worse, but still pretty low It's it's getting worse, but you know talk to your doctor about the effect of long Jason born because we have three more of these

Fucking movies. I didn't realize I was so many fucking Jason born movies Yeah, one of them doesn't have Matt Damon in it, which is very funny. Yeah, good. And yeah, I am quite excited to see how these films develop, because we've gone from one that was filmed pre-9-11. This is now just post-9-11. So I'm looking forward to seeing how culture changes as this franchise. Yeah, very much. The culture is kind of like downstream of the history here. Yeah, culture is like. That is very much our remit here on Kill James Bond. The culture is kind of like downstream of the history here. And this is like, it came out 2004,

which meant they were making it and writing it when like the Iraq war was starting and then like continuing. It wasn't even clear that it was gonna be the Quagmire that it was yet. So like, yeah, no, we'll come back to you for 2007's the Born Ultimatum, which is right about the time for things to get really bad, I think. Absolutely. Also, I just want to make a quick announcement. I don't know if we have a

crime scene or a good night in the necessary, but if you go to the Achilleschains Bond website, we now have all of the scum scores for previous Bond films all of age. You can do super metrics on us. You can check all of the scum scores. A table, it sucked, we tried a couple of things, but we think it looks quite nice now. It was a shame. The call the next Bond movie dropped tables. It's bastards. You can't say swear to God.

Well, we hate kill James Bond slash kill Jason Bourne slash assigned movies at birth. We'll return for the Bourne Automatum. Stop it. Thank you for listening to yet another episode of Kill James Bond. Join us in two weeks time for the born ultimatum is what I believe for the next born is called. But if that is simply too long for you to wait, you can head on over to our Patreon where we upload bonus episodes every other week. The next bonus episode will be Shoot Them Up. Shoot Them Up. Gonna piss everyone off by pronouncing it like that every single time. And speaking, of course, of our wonderful patrons, special thanks to our 15 pounds and above patrons, and those are

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