Upstream - Episode 33: Jason Bourne (you know his name)

Episode Date: May 24, 2022

They fucking.... they fucking made the same movie again. I'm going to issue an actionable threat of violence against named persons   This is it guys, with the conclusion of the Jason Bourne Miniseries we are truly at the end of KJB Season 1. It's been an incredible journey, from nothing to the apple podcasts #1 film review podcast in the UK, to over a million downloads within a year is an insane pace and we're so truly grateful for you for coming with us on this adventure. Alice, Abi, and Devon Will Return Find bonus episodes at our reasonably-priced patreon! https://www.patreon.com/killjamesbond     *WEB DESIGN ALERT*  Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/   Find us at https://killjamesbond.com and https://twitter.com/killjamesbond

Jesus Christ, it's Jason Bourne. Jesus Christ. That's Jason Bourne. Bourne? Jesus Christ. It's the same movie. it's the same movie again! Dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada,

dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, Devon we Christ Jesus Christ that's Jesus like at the squat rack at the gym just like Jesus Christ that's Devon. It's the same movie. He's made the same movie four times in a row. Paul, Paul! It's just like an avid god art piece. Are you taking the piss to see how many times you could do this to me? We're almost done. We're almost finished. We are so close to being done with Jason Bourne. And this is the final one, the fifth one in the franchise. It's called, you know his name brackets. If you don't, it's Jason Bourne. Or at least that's what's on the poster.

It's Jason Bourne. Although actually, the way they title it on the title cards, it's Jason Bourne, or at least that's what's on the poster. It's Jason Bourne, although actually, the way they title it on the title cards, it's smushed together. So, the title of this movie is Jason Bourne. There was a metaphor I used in the copy for the episode, the Bourne legacy, where I likened the Bourne legacy to the the bit in Spider-Man 3 where Sandman is trying to pull himself into a corporeal form, nearly fucking makes it and then just collapses back down into slok. And that is what happened to the born series. Very briefly, it tried so hard to be real, but then it just became a slop.

Every day I get up, I push Jason born up a hill and every night he rolls down again Every day Jason born eats my liver and it grows back It's the same film It's insane This time it's made in 2016 which means that Matt Damon is looking increasingly like himself in the end of saving private Ryan He's he's he's he's getting he's getting the thing. He's in his 40s and he came back for one last movie in exchange for getting Paul Greengrass back to right and direct. Absolutely. Loss, loss on everyone's partner, which means it's going to be another movie that you

can't see. I'm so upset. There's a's a note later on, which I'd get to, but I don't care, which is like, there's, I still can't see anything, but the budget and stunt work is much higher and higher quality. So I feel like I'm missing some really cool shit. He does hold off a little bit longer in this one. That's true.

So we begin by, because as we know, this is from the era posters of writing stuff over Matt Damon's face and what they did with this one was, you know his name, like you know who Jason Bourners, but they have no confidence in it. So they begin with Jason Bourne's sizzle reel. They really do. Just reminding you of all of the stuff that he's done, all of the people he's killed. Mark Strong comes back and a flashback,

as Professor Jim. You see him committing to the program again? Yes, yes we do. Albert Hirsch is there. You get like a shit load of lines from Hirsch, but there's one line in particular that is somewhat conspicuous in its absence. He won't say it.

But also Jason says the weirdly horny line of whoever you need to be certain. And he becomes Jason Bourne. And then we see where he is in the present day, which is much like the mountain goat song, international, small arms traffic blues. He is on the border between Greece and Albania, where he is like debasing himself by just getting in fist fights and like bare knuckle boxing. Yeah, he does fight club and he just he won punch man's a guy. Yes, that's the one like piece of cinematography that I kind of liked in the scene is that he gets in a fight with this guy.

He like and the movie kind of hikes him off a bit. He's a big guy and the camera sort of follows over Jason Bourne's shoulder was he just walks out there and like follows the punch through as he like knocks him to the ground with one blow, which is nice. So, yeah, absolute return to form for foreign voices as a threat indicator, which is always fun. Yes. We got the yellow filter back.

Yeah, maybe. We're seeing a bunch of guys sort of like really focused on a big combat sport event pushing in the circle trying to make bets, which is your sort of casino royale. I think as well. Also, it can't just be like Greece, because Greece is like, you know, Greece, like nice holiday destination. Oh, Greece. Oh, fuck, it's on the Albanian border. It's only shit. It's Albania. Also, this isn't quite in the year, the years of tactical bids, which we'll have to talk about when we get to

Sicario or whenever Ryan Gosling's new Gray Man movie comes out. But this is, but he does have like a slight beard, like a kind of stubble. And that's so you know that it's like a beard of sorrow. He's like down on his luck. He's having a hard time because he doesn't shave. Yeah, same. It's punished. Born. He's just had an electrolysis. You can't shave it for a couple of days. It's a shame. It's a shame. Yeah, no. And then immediate. So the thing about this,

this opening scene is just in case you forgot what Jason born is, they play the hits. And that's capital P capital T capital H. They play the hits. Yeah. Unfortunately, all of these missed the first time around. So I'm just fondly remembering shit movies. They play the misses. Play the fucking misses. Like they cut straight from like foreign voices threat. There's a filter. Jason Bourne punches a guy. It's straight to computers. Yes, we have to enter 20 minutes of computers because Nikki Styles, Julia Styles, Nikki Parsons, from the previous movies, she's back, she's in Reykjavik, she also looks like shit, but women aren't allowed to grow a beard of sorrow, so she just hasn't put

any lipstick on. It's very funny the way they try and convey that, it's like a full face of makeup that is trying not to look like makeup. Oh my god, you're right. That is how they do that. Like, you can't have beat them so, Mickey. So you have to have, like, Mickey just, like, not wearing lipstick. That's very funny. Yeah, yeah. You have not wear lipstick and have, like, one strand of hair out of place. Like, she looks better than I have ever looked in my life.

And she's like, we're supposed to get from this like, oh man, she's in a horrible way. She gets fucking done doing it. You buy this movie again. That's true. So she goes to a, I guess, anonymous hacking cap. Yeah, she goes to a gamer, Dan. Yes. It's cool. Where she, she games her way into knocking on the front door of the CIA's mainframe With a with like an old CIA laptop and I just I look right I'm gonna play a couple of drops of what the dialogue is like at this point because this immediately sets off an alarm in CIA headquarters And we see at least if you can't uh hello who is the CIA's like computers expert go to like try and count to hack it and everybody sounds like the reading of cue cards everyone sounds like this They found it back door

We need the commercial. I'm gonna locate the source. I'm working on it. That is unedited. That is how the dialogue sounds I made some eyes on the street guys the lab was on the streets. I'm Oh, that I think the graphics The graphics on the screen here is perfect. It's a little laptop icon trying to plug into the big CIA icon that is literally labeled CIA main server. Clippy appears and is like, it looks like you're trying to access secret files on kill squads. Would you like some?

It's one of those movies where a lot of things happen on a computer, but they also don't have the confidence to make it look realistic. So I spent a lot of time pausing to read what was on the screen, and it was always phenomenal. Not me. CIO secret mainframe. Oh, J.P. We have a major breach of our class by mainframe. I hate when I have a major breach of my classified mainframe.

That would fucking suck. So, personally. Alicia Vikander, implant some malware into the little USB sticks that Nick is downloading the stuff on. But we see Nicky go through the files. And what she's looking for is like, all of the tread stone programs, all of the like bullshit other programs, because they invent a new one every year,

like Black Briar. There's actually, yeah, they find a fucking laptop later on and it lists all 10 chimp programs and I have their names here if you'd like to run through. Please. So, in ascending order, obviously, Trudstone, the original chimp program, then we've got BlackBriar, the Trudstone upgrade, Emerald Blake, outcome, Laks. That was Jeremy Reynolds. That's the drugs one.

Yeah. Laks was the superchimp. And then since then, they've had spearfish, Rubicon, our glass, laskus, spectrum, iron hand, spectrum, spectrum is fucked. So the thing is, right, the CIA, they've done it again, obviously, in the new one is Iron Hand. Well, you don't know that yet. What we have to do is go through all of the like files, and as she's going through the file, she finds that David Webb, Jason Bourne's dead name, was like, he was spied on in advance of being recruited, and the guy who wrote the original, like,

And the guy who wrote the original like, Treadstone program, the guy who proposed it is his dad, Robert Web. Robert, yeah, Michelin Web. So at this point, I'm like, the movie is in my head now, just the born paternity. It's the born paternity. Absolutely. And so they trace back this thing to the SecOps hacker camp, which is so we have heard of

anonymous. It's the same thing this movie does when it references Edward Snowden. I have a theory about this later that I'll get into. But the important thing is that Elisabeth kind of shuts down all of the power, cuts off the hacking attempt, but they know they've've been hacked and it follows its way all the way up to the CIA to the director, Tommy Lee Jones. Love his performance in this film. So good. Looking extra cracking here. Looking like trying harder than like anyone else in this film to make it good. Yes. Oh yeah. And across across the country to a tech firm called Deep Dream to the CEO,

Riz Ahmed playing the same role from Venom. They only have a let Riz Ahmed play a tech CEO. They should let him do another one. But to say, fucking hell's this one. So good for him. Yeah, yeah, he does. He's kind of a Zuckerberg time. Yeah.

We also get the first drop of a name that I would love to continue to refer to here, which is they mention Christian D'Aso They mentioned this man. They can set him up so hard I got to wait to discuss what they do with remember who that is He's the hacker activist guy. He's he's some sort of like Prince of hackers. Oh, that's who that guy was His names in like full caps on this glasses screen and that we get we get a series of lines where CIA computers person Heather Lee is chatting with Tommy Lee Jones,

Ryan Cox number five. Where like you get the first one, which is just like this is worse than Snowden. And then a second. Where'd I like a hack was it? This might come on the podcast. It's good impact, deep dream and iron hand. And I wrote, oh no, deep dream and iron hand hand hand hand. Oh, I don't know.

So Tommy Lee Jones wants to figure out where they're going. And they think that maybe Jason Bourne is involved. Nicky is involved with Jason Bourne, they're going to try and destroy the CIA and therefore they have to track them and they track Nikki going to Athens. They track Nikki through. This is another point where I paused and looked at what they were typing into screen. They track Nikki through the exhibition essentially googling woman in Raziavic and it was like 300 matches and just flashes up a series of faces to get to Nikki.

Yes, it was so funny. Heather, Alicia Vikander has seen the previous born films and she knows that there's a role of like the guy in the control room who's like doing hack tap bypass. She's like, hey, Tommy Lee Jones, I want to be the man in the control room bracket woman. Yeah, I want a girl boss. And Tommy Lee Jones is like cool, yes, sick,

agent girl boss. And then Tommy Lee Jones activates a French chimp He activates him as your chimp Who's gonna be our guy who's hunting Jason? I wrote him down as the quasi-chimp because the the chimp's deal was that they were impersonal and stuff But this guy he's called the asset which is a terrible fucking code night He's he's not quite impersonal because in a sort of your actions have consequences, Jason Vaughn, baby's first theme.

He was undercover in Syria. He was captured and tortured because he was exposed by Jason Vaughn, leaking the Tredstone program. And so now he has a permanent sort of personal vendetta against him. Which I'd like to mention. He's a former. Didn't happen. It wasn't Jason Vaughn who did that.

It was. He never didn't happen. CIA girl boss Simon Ross. Yeah Pamela Landy who is not in this movie. They've just like had her killed or whatever. It's this not appearing in this movie who she she leaked it. It's not anything to fucking do with Jason Bourne. Yeah. Yeah. She and she leaked it. Well that guy leaked it to the guy who works for. This guy is a writer for the Guardian. That guy. Yeah, Simon Ross. Yeah, Simon Ross. Who's the man whose last words were, oh, the bin man. Oh, the bin man.

Play it again, Sam. I mean, the fuck. Oh, the bin man. Bins mate. So, yeah, he activates, miss your chimp. Everyone still sounds like they're reading off cards. Oh, and we also get a sense of the sort of managerial dynamics of the CIA, which is that Alicia, if it kind of wants issues ambitious and she's trying to go around the CIA director,

which he does not appreciate. And he is going to like it is heavily implied he's going to try to fuck her over later. So, um, Nicky goes to Greece, leaves a message for Jason Bourne while he's bare-knuckle boxing and getting his ass beat. It's like, come and meet me at the protest scene from the Bourne identity. That's his verboten! He's getting his shit knocked in during the boxing and then he spots Nikki in the crowd and ends in one punch. So you get the sort of- Yeah, the win button.

He's built up enough to unleash his super, it's fine, don't worry about that. Do these people ever meet anywhere other than a protest that's about to turn into a riot? Is my thing. We have got to stop meeting like that. They meet in a left-wing process, which bizarrely everybody is carrying either a red flag

or the Greek national flag. It's a sort of an odd combination. Yeah, you'd think they'd, you think they wouldn't be getting on. It's just Greeks protesting is sort of the vibe of it. There's no like real. They're doing, they're doing patriotic socialism. Finally. Oh, we're going to do it, baby.

Yeah, they're all getting together and giving a big speech about how I work. We're all family. Yeah. Yeah, so all of the Greek intercept guys, they're fighting the cops. And this is the one moment where Paul Greengrass's directorial instinct worked for him, because the way in which he does stuff is I can't see, right? He cuts every second. It's his way of showing like speed and intensity and violence. His problem is he just does it too much. It's not legible and he does it and bits where it doesn't

make any sense. The one place where this does make sense is filming a riot, right? And so it kind of works. You get lots of little like shortcuts of guys getting the shit kicked out of them by riot cops or like throwing mollusks or whatever. And you're like, okay, this is kind of, you know, this is kind of getting something going. This is working. So she has to like meet him and deliver a series of like ominous, like half explanations. Yeah, so she says they've started another illegal kill squad. Yeah. Final. Jason, a fifth Jason born movie is happening. Squad. Jason, a fifth Jason born movie is happening.

They want to put the files online. That's what Nikita was like. We want to leak this. Despite the fact that like the previous leak clearly did not stop the CIA creating illegal kill squads because they made five more, but whatever. We want to do it again. I'm working for Christian Dusso, this hacker guy. We want to do radical transparency, put it all online,

and also, by the way, your dad was involved, which causes Jason to have a little dad flashback. He has, he does have a dad flashback, which I really appreciate. Every time his dad is mentioned to this motherfucker, he like fully goes into like a full crouch, hand on his forehead like, oh shit, my dad, I have to like remember this. Oh my god, I'm remembering the one memory of my dad, which is when we were hanging out

in Algiers and something happened. I remember. And also, so she says that like they were watching you before you signed up to Transdern. So basically she thinks that Jason Bourne might not really have volunteered and that kind of like undermines his entire character from the previous three films. You chose to do this. Yeah, like that was the whole thing about like I volunteered and therefore I feel guilty. If he didn't volunteer then he's just like, oh, I guess I don't need to feel guilty at all. I can just go in there. Yeah, that's his character arc from this one. Like there there is a line from Tommy Lee Jones earlier on

where he's like, you're gonna have to face the facts Jason Bourne that you volunteered for this. And I was like, okay, that's the theme. But the actual storyline that Jason Bourne goes through is, no, I didn't. And that's his arc. We get the world's fastest hero refuses the call where he's like, I don't care about this, why should I care about this? And she goes, I think you should hero refuses the call where he's like I don't care about this

Why should I care about this and she goes I think you should and he goes oh right? Oh right fine I'll do a fake Explore our relationship from like the but it was hinted that we had a thing before No, I'm waiting to explore their relationship. Oh fuck she's gone Nikki hardly has any lines in this movie. Of course, the CIA, because they're tracking her and because they're following the the USB stick as well, there's a bunch of guys looking for her with monoculars. There's always. They love her.

They're not losing this movie. They love her. Yeah, there it is. And Alicia Vikander identifies a blonde woman in the crowd. She goes full abbey mode and she's like blonde detective Hold on yeah, we get she looks she unironically does doesn't and she enhances Okay, she has a weird accent this movie too. She she enhances this blonde movie It is of course Nicky and the sets off the chase.

So we don't, okay, here's some fucking thing to note. They don't say the line. They don't say Jesus Christ, that's Jason Bond. They don't know that. That was Traylor and they cut it. In the actual movie, what happens is that he's briefly mentioned during the high-power CIA meeting, which includes Tommy Lee Jones, Alicia Vikander and two other

guys who are also present. Yeah, his Tommy Lee Jones is like, Adjutant or whatever, who says? Or Jesus Christ. Yeah, Arta Asando, whose job essentially is to be in every high powered meeting and just look baffled? He doesn't actually do anything, he's just present at all times, looking like a holy shit. But he's the actually do anything. He's just present at all times looking like a holy shit. But he's the born Jesus Christ. He's the Christ. And Jason Borg.

So they try and kill them both. Jason Borgne, there's some Jason Borgne shit. The right stuff is like well filmed. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, The asset shows up driving at speed in like a in a VW golf. And then we get like inevitably there's another bike chase, right? Because Jason born finds a bike. He beats up the guys. He puts he puts sneaky on the back. And he's like, try not to get shot in the back of the

head with a sniper rifle like the last girl I was doing this with. And she does. Unfortunately, not great at this. He's going to track record of north for north on this. No, just wasted, fully taken out by Monsieur Chimp. I feel really sorry for Julia Starrs because she has a lot of night shoots in this film, a lot of like difficult, like bitty stunt work, and she just gets fucking nothing to do and just gets killed, she's got no arc. She has one series of lines where she just says the plot to the movie so that everyone can know what's happening and then immediately gets aced by a sniper and it's like, she's given nothing to do in any of these movies. She's then not mentioned again completely on Maureen's life. She gets a sort of horror death scene which is quite

effective where she's like shot but she's not dead immediately and the Athens cops are closing in on a Mishur Chimp and the CIA telling him to get out of there, and he's like, no, I don't want to, because I have to use her to lure Jason Bourne out and kill him. But this is not successful, and he ends up killing her in front of him. She throws him the US B-stick with her dying moments. So now he has the US B-stick full of CIA malware

and also the information on his dad. Also, I missed one thing which is when they identify the blonde woman, Tommy Lee Jones is also in the room and he sees that there's a dude with her and he goes, I didn't find a male. Every time I'm gonna change your image. Just going off like a self checkout is like, Just going off like a self-checkout is like So also like every time I go to the post office I hear too many jones Me and the sources are looking for a white sauce made with eggs

Terrible Well done louder. I have I have a thought here right which is as Well done, well done. So I have a thought here, right, which is as this chase is happening, right? Like, we see police roadblocks everywhere. The whole of Athens is like fucking on fire. Someone tells Tommy Lee Jones, apropos of nothing that like, the Greek government has declared a state of emergency, you know, everything shut down. I thought between this and the sort of fake anonymous thing,

this movie is like written for a counter-ulture or moment that didn't happen. It really is right. I'm so glad you Victor for this too. This is I remember seeing this when he's back to this this world of rights in Greece in 2016. I mean no more than you sure like I think the thing is right it's written for a kind of time that thinks that 2016 or so was going to be another 68 and that was going to have sort of transformative effects and You kind of get this question of like is or is Jason Bohr going to be aligned with like counter culture sort of anti capitalist thing And the answer is no and it's just as well that there wasn't like there wasn't this counter culture at a moment because This movie has less than nothing to say about it.

But it kind of acknowledges the possibility, which is... One thing I will say for 2016 as a cultural moment is that that was the last year that ever happened. And since then every year has just been 2016 again, so that is worth. Much like every film that Paul Greengrass has made has just been Jason Bourne again. Paul Greengrass has several shots that been Jason Bourne again. Paul Greengrass has like several shots that he loves to do and I'm going to highlight them as they come through, but that was one I missed, which is CIA computer's woman on, she's in a dark room on a computer, she's lit by the computer and it's filmed through like a shutter shade. He loves that shot

so much. The other one that he loves is in a chase scene. Somebody's foot pressing down on an accelerate. Absolutely. And he got 20 minutes into this movie before the first one of those, which is in the bike chase. So that you can tell they're going fast. How are you gonna know for accelerating if we don't show them pushing the accelerator?

So Jason has been tossed this USB stick and essentially like a notebook that says go to next location, right? He goes to next location. It's a left luggage locker. We get one interesting thing here, which is there's a gun in the left luggage locker and he just takes it and that's an interesting parallel to Switzerland, what he does the same thing, but he throws the gun away because he's not a killer or whatever where now he just is. That's cool. I like that kind of. But there's also a notebook which is like Jason next location is here. Yes. Also very funny to me, the USB stick has

printed on it in big letters encrypted just so you know. We thank you to the most boring B-plot of all fucking time, which is we've even missed out like two of these scenes because they are interesting. But Riz Armored and Tommy Lee Jones are having meetings where Riz, Aaron Kallur, he's the CEO of this fucking deep dream thing, it's not ever really stated what it is. He's just, yeah, it's Facebook. It is, it's Facebook. He does, he does a fucking like press conference where he's announcing nothing.

He goes out on stage and goes, deep dream baby and everyone's like, yeah, and he goes, also, that's, that's the other thing about thing about Aaron Calorite is that because Paul Greengrass has known it, they had a right or direct someone who is popular. No fucking, everyone is like way to into him. He will say, he'll show up and he'll say, hey, how's it going? And people will be like tearing their clothes off. They'll be like lying on the floor. It's nice. He's dressed right. Like he comes out in like a suit. Yeah, sneakers. He's got this like the t-shirt and the suit jacket.

Like it's a perfect texia. And he comes out and he goes, people have got some questions about surveillance. And then he pauses for 50 seconds. And then goes, we aren't surveilling you. And everyone goes, yeah! And that's his character, right? Yeah, and we see in this meeting between him and Tommy Lee Jones

that essentially this movie has finally gotten to, ah, there's a relationship between big tech and mass surveillance. Should we explore that? No. What they do instead is like, Riz Ahmed has been blackmailed and coerced and funded from a startup by the CIA in order to do this. Yes. And I think that's not just a misunderstanding.

Sure. That's not just a misunderstanding. And that's catastrophically misrepresenting why the tech industry works the way that it does. Right? presenting why the tech industry works the way that it does, right? There's, you don't need to blackmail Mark Zuckerberg into doing anything for the city. I don't need to blackmail Facebook into surveilling you

because that's the whole fucking business. Yes, yeah, exactly. It's just selling the surveillance state. Like that's how they make money. Like how is, how is resumbed profiting if not by doing surveillance? There's a very specific line from Tommy Lee Jones, where he's like, metadata is not enough anymore.

I need a back door into the system. And Riz Ahmed is like, yeah, well, when you get that, you'll just want something else, wouldn't you? And Tommy Lee Jones goes, yes. And Riz Ahmed goes, ah fuck. And Tommy leaves the scene. And yeah. It's right to be fair.

I think this is a much more interesting film. I would much rather have watched this film about like Riz Ahmed and Tommy Regions to great actors doing like CEO surveillance text shit. I'd much rather watch that without Jason Bourne nonsense. Sure. Like the idea of a CEO who like wants out and doesn't want to play ball anymore is an interesting one. But it's not a realistic one in the way that this movie presents it because it makes the CIA the only bad actor here. Everybody's forgotten about the national research assay group or whatever who are like bad and CIA. We've forgotten about them. It's CIA clowns. It's just that it's doing everything they can, Paul Gringress, to render the previous movie non-canon.

Like, they're not discussing anything that happened. They're not mentioning any of the characters. And Jimmy Reynolds is not in it. He's on a beach somewhere with Rachel Bice They're not mentioning any of the characters that were mentioned. And Jimmy Reynolds is not in it. He's on a beach somewhere with Rachel Bice, so at the end of the last film. The only mention you get is that one very brief, like, word, likes and God, what's the outcome on a fucking screen?

And that's it. The only rough. Anyway, it's not like... All of these are totally separate and a big tech actually wants not to surveil you. It's just being forced to by the government against it's will, which is a very reddit interpretation of how that happens. Rather than these discrepate permeable institutions that people move between quite freely.

Yeah. Rather than actually the interests of capital and the interests of government have more or less aligned and they both want to. Essentially he's doing like an agit-part thing, right? Like he is like, are the internet needs to be free, you know, like a lack of surveillance privacy is free? What's an out-swart thing too, which is, I think also part of the name. And like Tommy Lee Jones, his character is like, repeatedly just being like, listen,

you're gonna give us that data because that serves national security. And if you're not gonna give us that data then you're fucking actively making a country worse. So I'm not gonna fuck up with you. There's a bit later on where they are meant to have a debate between each other on stage. And the announcer fully just tells you

what the theme of the movie is. Personal rights versus public safety. This is the great question of our time. And the choices we make about this will determine our future. Yeah. So, you know. The fact that you think it's a choice,

the fact that you think the public has a choice about that is already fucking laughable. So Jason goes to Berlin and he meets Christian Dysau who is wearing that. So this guy was, I thought he was a kid. He's the hacker guy. You can tell because he's wearing a big long stupid Euro vibes ass. Yeah, I know, say pre-order now now to receive Christian to so as I call it. So, do I have a spark? Yeah, he lives in a totally empty loft apart from a load of computers and a sort of weight and a weightlifting bench. It should be first, so do I.

So, let's hang on. That's not true. You've got gungles. Oh my god. I'm going to retire. Just going to kill us. Oh, yeah, no. No, I was saying that.

So, in a good way. You've got interior joy. I'm going to retire. I I'm gonna retire. Just gonna kill us. Oh yeah, no. No, I was saying that in a good way. You've got interior decorating, you've got Gundams. Well, Christian just tries to get him on site. He finds out that Nikki is dead and he's like, yeah, well, she knew the risks, whatever, which Jason does not like.

Yes, but Christian. Not enough to mention Nikki again. No, no, no, Christian tries to get him on side with... We both want to take down the corrupt institutions to control society. So he talks like he walked here from in the name of the Rose. It talks like this. Oh, fucking times.

So I got a really clean drop of society, which I will be using. Yeah, that's right. That's right. That's fucking right. Jason, it says a lot about that society. Which I will be using That's fucking right Jason it says a lot about that society Jason my name is Christian Dessau Blasting through twins I obviously had no idea who this guy was and I was like why is why is chimpsamus anyway? He fails So he fails, he fails the, the Skyfall test, right?

Because Jason hands him a big USB drive with stolen CIA data, with encrypted on it and goes unencrypted this. And he just plugs it into his regular ass laptop where it sets off every single alarm at CIA headquarters. I would have turned the Wi-Fi off on my laptops so that that couldn't happen. This should just so mention Snowden for a second time this movie. This laptop should not be connected. It shouldn't know what the internet is.

It should be in a concrete safe, 50 miles underwater before you plug anything into anything. But of course, the moment he does, the CIA immediately go, Jesus Christ, that's Jason Bourne, and also a weird German guy who keeps talking about Twinks and society. They immediately get the CCTV feed outside, so they're looking in at them as well. You get a really clean drop of someone in the CIA, and it grims saying, yes, it's on a computer. Yes, I have that. And in fact, I have the longer version where immediately after that, Tommy Jones says how I feel about the movie

Is on a computer? You have to stop please That's just Why does he deliver that line like it's like you're dad talking about your transition. It's so, can I get it again? Can I get it again? Yeah. He's on a computer. Can you have a stop please?

It's a stop. Man, Tommy Lee Jones is disappointed with your transition. Asma, horrible. Hey man, we all love to Shela. No, you have to stop this. You've got Gundams? No, I do not. You take that back.

Oh, no, it's self-touch Gundams. Interesting. Yeah, I think to me. Yeah, curious. And yet you yourself participate in Gundams. Interesting. So Jason gets the files decrypted. He goes through them and he sees

his dad and immediately enters dad flashback number two. This incapacitates his death. But all the same must be a nightmare. He sees a photo of his dad and he goes, I am going to have a one and a half minute flashback over the time I met up with him in Beirut. And he said, I've done something mysterious that comes with a cost. And then he was blowed up by a terror. Jason Franz over to the exploded cart looks up and sees two Arab men.

And it just sort of holds on them for a second. And I was like, I don't think you should do that. Also, I don't say lamayo jason's dad invented trust tone okay cool we need to stop making movies actually. So jason figures out that he was surveilled beforehand and he was surveilled by like a specific guy Malcolm something he was now in private security in london Malcolm Gladwell. He works for a company called and this is on the screen for a fraction of a second, a company called Pac-ma-Groot. Sure.

To which. Yeah. Pac-ma-Balls. To be fair, I guarantee that some of the most powerful people on God's Earth work for companies named that kind of shit. But additionally, I'd like to note, what is our Christian Dessau, the man that they have built up

for a fucking entire movie doing during this? He is well. Well Jason Bourne is distracted by dad mode. He simply saunters over to his weight bench, picks up a dumbbell and tries to hit Jason Bourne really hard in the back of the head with it. Why does he do that? Because Jason won't, Jason won't leave him the files to leave him in there. He literally, like, he walks into a scene and they're like, I see that your Christian does so and he goes, we live in there, society. And, and then they, they don't know what to do with him. So he stands doing like a fucking idol animation for the entire scene while Jason born finds out about his father. And then he just decides to him and then he gets knocked out and that's the last we fucking see if Christian does so.

Yeah, because Christian Dessos deal right is Jason, you want to be part of this cult or cultural moment that we're in. And Jason goes, no I don't because I'm a sort of a grumpy American patriot because this movie is still fundamentally liberal one. And Christian Disso goes, fair enough, I should have to kill you with some exercise equipment now. Yeah. Jim, I'm sorry. Jason Bourne is a sigma male.

He's going to die. Yeah, Brian is not sure. He just stands around and then eventually goes A-Mode. And additionally, what else is happening during this scene is computer's woman says the line, there's a phone in the room I can use it to delete the files and I went She also she uses the phone to like call Jason and she's trying to get him to come in because what happens is now that now that Nikki

Has been killed Jason has been issued with a second helpful CIA woman Who is able to text him things like you have two minutes to leave before the CIA get there. She thinks she can bring him in, but Tommy Lee Jones takes over the phone call and is like down home country. I'm very disappointed in your transition.

Once again, we have a female CIA operative who's like, we need to bring Jason born in alive and we have an older male CIA operative. It's like, we need to bring Jason Bourne in a live and we have an older male CIA operative is like, we need to kill this guy immediately. It's the same. We need to kill this one of the fuck right now. He literally, a like, in sane Hail Mary from Tommy Lee Jones to go, what was your dad think about this to a guy who's remembered his dad existed like 30 seconds ago? Well, he's trying to put him in dad mode again.

He is trying to put him in the flashback. He's trying to fight time. I'm putting him in dad flashback. So Jason escapes, escapes easily by shoving a door into a guy's face. Yeah, he does a share zone. He just leaves. He's afraid. I thought he was going to get like an escape sequence, but he just walks out.

The building leaves. He leaves and he goes to London. While he's on the train, he has another dad mode flashback, where he remembers his dad. And then he thinks about the woman, the computer's woman, Heather Lee, Alicia Vikander. And he Googles her and her bio and her appointment are public on the CIA's website.

What a fucking movie. With a photo. I'm up to the photo is a quote from her where she says, I'm choosing the CIA because I think I can make a real difference there, which is something that I would write when I stop taking pills. That's something I did write when I became a YouTuber. So he's like, oh, maybe she has a lot of... You also get a fascinating shot and it's going to take me a while to explain why this is funny.

But you get the shot of born dissociating in dad flashback on the train. But he's sat on a window seat next to one of those tables where they've got the sort of emergency stop, like, lever you can pull. And the effect of that is it's shot in soft focus. So for a brief second, it looks like he is just sanitary staring terrified at this, like, blowing black box with, like, an orange-like emitting fragment. And I found to be phenomenal. I really enjoyed that. So, so, so, Alicia Vikandar tries to like go around the CIA director, around Tommy Lee Jones again, to his boss, the director of National Intelligence.

But being like, listen, I can bring Jason Bornin, if you let me run this operation, we won't have to kill him. I think he's at a psychological tipping point. All I have to do is say, hey, think about your dad much once, and he'll be like mine. I'll be able to like, sissy him. Look at it to the program. Yeah. And so the director of national intelligence, okay, is this. And Tommy Lee Jones gives the most like, I am going to fuck you up for this. Look. But kind of like, GLAAB hands up, and he sends, he sends the asset, a Mischief chimp to help them. And as they're preparing in the van, Mischief chimp is very much in the asset, a Mischiefchimp to help them. And as they're preparing in the van,

Mischiefchimp is very much in the like, I am going to betray you voice. He's like, oh, you're the boss, right? We're all friends. We have an extended, I like this. I wanna just preface, I like this, but we have an extended sequence, which is like, it's all the man who was Thursday,

like every single person involved in this is in a group chat with everyone else. All the training each other at once. And it's... It's great. Like, yeah, just like every group chat we're like... Like Malcolm Gladwell, I don't remember his name. I'm sorry, Malcolm Gladwell gets the call from Jason Born

and they're like, we want... I'm gonna meet you at location in minutes. Haddington Plaza. Yes. They love to do it at Paddington. They're all in it. They're all in a group chat. Tommy Lee Jones keeps posting his modeling pictures and making everyone else feel bad.

Tommy Lee Jones is running this from his desk at home where he's got a little gamer headset on. He's doing like, let's plays of this shit. Alicia Vikander is just in the back of a van trying to coordinate She's trying to bring Jason born in but Misha chimp kills the CIA guys and it's like on his way to try and kill Jason born under direct orders of Tommy Jones and additionally Fucking Malcolm Gladwell fuck it is in a group chat also with Tommy Lee Jones who's going, just hold on, just stand still.

Switching pieces every five seconds. Yeah. It's obviously the most like they're in Boyz Chat and then there's Boyz Chat brackets, no Nikki and then there's Boyz Chat's bracket, no Tommy. And they just like have all of these various things and they're arranging it. Yeah. The thing is like, Alicia Vikand is getting betrayed here, but she's getting cut out of this operation. But the way that just happens is she spends a lot of time in the back

of a van looking at screens, because that's the shot that Paul Greengrass loves. And at this point, I'm so bored that I'm just starting inventing new kinds of lesbianism. And so I'm just watching this, like, and she's got a really great shape nose. Do you think I could get one of those? I got a rhinoplasty and like, are you good? Yeah. I mean, she kind of looks like,

like an evil clone of Jennifer Lawrence. I look a little bit good. Look, look, look. I can't cry like a catching fire shit. Like she absolutely does look like mocking J.S. shit going on here. Yeah, so Jason Bull manages to kidnap Malcolm Gladwell. He takes him up on the roof and he interrogates him.

But while he's interrogating him, Malcolm Gladwell is still in boys chat with Tommy Lee Jones who's going, don't tell him anything, I'll kill your family. It's so cool. It's like they're in like, Malcolm Gladwell is in like the sights of Montse your chimp. Like he is fully being shot repeatedly via camera not actually shot like he's just there

He's got a big fucking X on his head and Tom and he joins his on the phone to be like you should stand extremely still right now You should you should not move your head at all for like the next 25 seconds for no reason Yeah, and like and fucking Jason does his special movie sets off every alarm in the vicinity again, but we we see him doing it this time, which is a little better, but he sets off every alarm. Everyone starts moving. Mark and Gladwell is like, there's a lot of people around. I should move and Tommy's like, you shouldn't move. You should stand very, very still. And eventually Jason does capture him. Jason captures him. He interrogates him. And despite Tommy Lee Jones in his earpiece, Malcolm Gladwell tells him, doesn't it? The spy who loved me, she's like holding him via

tie off the edge of a building. Yeah. And Malcolm Gladwell tells him, yes, your dad created Treadstone. He tried to keep you from being recruited. He tried to keep you out of it, and that's why they killed him. Which causes Jason to have another dad flashback. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just at the wrong time, because at that moment, Moussia chimp rounds the corner. Jason, no hesitation. Uses Malcolm Gladwell as the human shield, falls off the roof with him and like uses him to break his

fall with some terrible CGI. And just before this happens, Jason Bourne is interrogating him and summarizes the film. Oh, yeah, she's right. He does. He grabs him. He's like, explain this to me because it doesn't make any sense. He's like, why doesn't the plot of this movie work? Yeah, yeah, his father found out he was going to get chimified. He tried, he threatened to expose the program and said they killed him. Yeah, they killed him specifically Mishachim, which shows more figure around. Which is so cool because it means that the asset wants to ship actually doesn't have a motivation at all

He's not mad because Jason betrayed him because he betrayed Jason in the fucking first place. Yeah, killed his dad My fucking dad brother. Fuck you. It should be kind of just driving around in the van Just like I've been fucked here and Jason born enters via the window and just goes hey you and my new accomplice Tell me about the plot of this movie. And so she explains that the reason why Tommy Lee Jones wants Riz Ahmed's network is to do full spectrum surveillance watching everyone. Stop it. Shut it.

Shut it. The government will know exactly how many Gundams you have. Forced for surveillance. I don't know how it's typical. I just like them. I think they're cold. I want a drop of that. I said I, yeah.

Watching everyone all the time. And like, I'm sort of in two minds about this, right? Like, on the one hand, as we know, thanks to Edward Toden, Massive Alent, already a reality, right? Like on the one hand, as we know, thanks to Edward Toden, mass surveillance, already a reality, right? Like it's a mass data collection is already a thing. But on the other hand, and that kind of like undercuts this movie, if it's like, oh no, the CIA might be able to read your emails and shit. It's like, I can already do that. But on the other hand, this is a problem with all of these movies, every movie about surveillance, everything from like, enemy of the state, whatever, is that the way you build the penopticon is by belief, right?

You have to believe that you can be watched at any time. And like, that's something that the CIA, the NSA, any number of intelligence agencies, also have a vested interest in, is this idea that like, oh, we are actually like omniscient, we can pull anything. but it's like, the actual capabilities there, which are very frightening, are different from being able to watch every person

doing everything all the time. It cannot be done. And so, but it's important to make you believe that that is a technological possibility. And if that's a technological possibility, even a bad one, then you're going to sort of adjust your behavior and you're going to take account of this. And this is like one of the real problems with this movie. I think it's also why everyone's so insane

is that because we've all internalized this about mass surveillance, because we all believe that there's, you know, a predator drone watching us at any time. No one believes in accidents or incompetence anymore. No one believes in, like, this is why people look at things that, you know, the CIA do and go, it doesn't make any sense. Cause they know everything, right? And if they know everything,

why do they make mistakes? And the answer is that they don't. They have a lot of data, but that's like saying, you know, you're able to consume a lot of individual drops of water if you put your mouth over a fire hose. It's true, but like... Yes, that's very astute analysis. How is this?

It's really good. They call me Alice Analysis. That's why they listen to the fucking podcast, baby. That's what they're here for. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there you go. So they have to go to the next location. Yeah, anyway, monsture chimp is here. So Tommy is micromanaging the shit out of months you're chimp. Like he's calling him every couple of minutes

to be like, you okay, you need some water, like your pallet. Yeah, which is essential. I don't know why he's called the asset, by the way. Like he's not part of Iron Hand or anything because he killed Jason Bourne's dad. So he clearly predates Treadstone. Like I don't know what this guy is for. And also, if every resource you have available to you is an asset. If you get me the asset,

then how do you know that you mean this means one French man. So, but we have to go to the next location. Next location is Las Vegas where Defcon is happening. So this is the second movie I've seen this year where like a major set piece is like a Comic Con for weapons manufacturers in Las Vegas. Is this a real thing? This is just Defcon. Yeah, Defcon is a real thing, but the thing is, it doesn't understand the culture of it very well. Defcon is sort of like what you might loosely term a hacker convention, right? A lot of trans people.

I will say that a recurring game at Defconn is... So when would you say it is in the year? How about you? A lot of trans people, a lot of weird, sex shit happening around Deaf on it in the second turn. But also a lot of weird, fed shit. But in a way that this movie singularly fails to understand. Like one recurring game at Defcon, for instance,

is something called Spots the Fed, right? You win a prize if you're able to identify an undercover federal agent. What this movie's version of Defcon does, is it has the... The agent gets killed. Yeah. Yeah, touch your hand on this metal plate. Um,

is that the, it's like chicken, but we're metal plate. That's what we're doing. We're all going to stand around as slowly put our hands towards the plate. My new start up plate. Um, no, but what this movie's version of Defcon involves is the CIA director giving a keynote, uh, privacy debate against Facebook guy. I have a feel that he would not do that. No. So for two guys who are really worried about the fallout if they were revealed to be working together, they sure are sat next to each other on stage.

Oh yeah. And to graph next to each other out. Oh yeah. I got to talk about the other thing, the other catastrophically responsible thing that this movie does, which is like one of three, I think, the previous two being mass surveillance of like in an omniscient way as possible, and the other one being I don't remember,

but the third one is that Tommy Lee Jones wants to have Riz Ahmed killed for betraying him. And so the way he does this is he gets his guy, the guy who says Jason Ballon Jesus Christ to do it, and they come up with fictional jihadis shooter, a 20 year old Iraqi national. We create a bank account, travel documents, emails, phone records. It looked like a lone wolf. So there you go, the US government can and will and does perpetrate a force flag terrorist attack by shooting in Las Vegas nonetheless. Interesting.

It's simply a year before Stephen Paddock. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, not in a national, so to speak. Like I say, this is like, because we have so badly mishandled in the popular imagination, the evil shit that the intelligence community does, it makes people conspiratorial and it makes people conspiratorial in the wrong ways and the wrong directions

to the point where they're not able to believe that like a guy might perpetrate assuting by himself because there are no accidents. Yeah, yeah, because in a world of total surveillance himself because there are no accidents. Yeah. Yeah. Because in a world of total surveillance, there can be no accidents. It's a much more boring idea of a world to live in, but it's also one that will make you insane. This ties into a theory I have about this film. Like Jason Bourne says later on, like, my dad was blown up by what I was told terrorists and therefore are volunteered to become a chimp. And then he has this lineage from where he says

I volunteered because of a lie and mine would say is this film about 9 11 being an inside job? Shit, maybe is this like we did the Iraq war because of 9 11 and I'm like busched it's like the fifth movie We've talked about where you've come out of nowhere with it. This is about 9 11 First of which most know this However, this is about 9-11. That was a much, much, no, but it's pretty. It's pretty. Well, that was about 9-11. No, it's like it's two, sorry.

Well, yeah, it was about 9-11 yet. No, it was three. It was three. I was three, I know you're right, you're right. So Jason born Infiltrate's Defcon. He picks up two quite literal plot devices. Of the store, one, there's a big bucket of RFID tags, which is like so funny that that could plausibly be a DEF conflict. Here, spy on your friends or enemies with this

bucket of free RFID tags. Also, like, surely, surely, just like the women at the conference would be like, can we not have that maybe? You would have. Let's not make it really easy for someone to follow me. Well, he does put this direct, like he gives this to a woman, like so, but the other thing he picks up is a spy camera with a, like a laser microphone, like she recalled audio from 50 meters away. This will not be important for a while.

Podcasts. Yeah. That's right. So Tommy pulls up the monster chimp and he goes, you need to kill this motherfucker right now. Yes. This bitch, I'll fuck this bitch Aaron. Aaron. Aaron. That's right. Yeah. You need to shoot Riz Ahmed right now. You need to kill him because he's going to go back on the contract or whatever. He's going to expose, he's going to expose that the CIA is deeply embedded in Facebook and will use that to do social surveillance. Also, Edward Snowden is a real person within the fiction of this movie. It's everyone already knows that, but he's going to. And in order to pass it off as like not a very specific and targeted shooting.

Tell me volunteers to get in runs a K of C goes, yes, I'm going to have my hand by my side, put a bullet in it too, just to avoid suspicion. Just for the, just live off, you know, I'm not going to play concept, yeah. When he hangs up the call, which I really like, he just like looks at his hand for a bit, as if he's like saying his goodbyes to it, he's like, you know, you've done your best. So I've got 15 minutes, I'll have a wang with the sound why not 12 times?

Yeah, the farewell stranger. Fairwell stranger. Doing that before I get surgery. So all of this, meanwhile, meanwhile, Monsieur Chimp is engaged in like a hitman level. He really is. He disguises himself as a waiter. He like, infiltrates through the back.

He puts a sniper rifle together. He's gonna shoot through a vent and kill Aaron Kalo. Jason is also, Jason takes advantage of like an agent going to the bathroom to just beat him up in the bathroom. Which is cool. It's in the bathroom. Which is cool. It's an born bathroom invader. Yes, he gives, he gives a Lucie Vikander the RFID tag and is like, put this on Tommy Lee Jones, which, which he does while he's sort of evil-y monologuing to her about, you know,

there's no way he can defeat me. I'm the bureaucratic master of, of deceit and conspiracy. We also see that she and Eric and Lord know each other from Stanford, they went to college together, which I do kind of like, it's like yeah, all these people know each other. That's fine.

Yeah. Tommy Lee Jones is also like gets on the phone to chill and is like, yo, you gotta kill this girl too. Yeah, yeah, it is now time to kill her as well. They get on stage, but they're about to do the like mass surveillance debate. And Tommy Lee Jones, Jones gets held back by a phone call like Jason Bourne is here. So he's he's staying off the stage. He is ready to like come on and trigger the shooting and

Riz Ahmed, aren't well begins with the most ominous, excessive like words. I'm not sure why why Monsieurimp waits this long because essentially what he goes is, there's a cancer at the heart of my company. I made a deal with a guy in a dark suit when I was starting out. Now it's coming back to survivors and everyone's like, what could this possibly mean?

Yeah, I feel like you should have just been more direct. Monsieur Chimp is like, oh fuck, I thought like you should have just been more direct. Do you? Yeah. Oh fuck, I thought it was desperately assembling this knife right full faster. Shit, shit, shit. At like, Tommy rings him up and goes, kill this motherfucker right now, right now.

So Jason. But that would surely be the most suspicious thing possible is to be like right at the moment he was about. Yeah, shut mid-sentence of saying that shit. And I know that these days a government cover-up doesn't have to be particularly believable, but you want to be at least the fucking, at least the, or the CCTV cameras without that night thing is a little bit more subtle than yeah, I made a deal with the C.I. gunshot noise. Yeah, that's crazy. What is going to say anyway? Yeah, what wonder what that other initial could have been probably nothing. Um, so it's a bit Jason, Jason distracts him,

he shoots and wounds, uh, miss your chimp, uh, dust saving Aaron Claw's life. At least you've accounted doesn't even get shot at all. And Tommy Lee Jones is like, right, I gotta, I gotta not go to a secure location. I gotta go back to my hotel room and I'm gonna monologue at this guy. It's time to go to an insecure location. It's now time for Tommy Lee Jones to earn his paycheck on this movie because he fucking bosses this is. It is now time to act. And this this is this is a great scene actually. We've had the like three or four instances of Jason confronts the shadowy CIA person who made him Jason born. This is the most sinister it's ever been. Also Tommy Lee Jones is one of the only actors I've

ever seen who can make who can make getting into a lift looks sinister. Yeah, he's so good. He's good. He's got this pride of us. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good. He's good It's always a great thing. The CIA security fuck up because they accidentally do the thing they weren't supposed to and identify Professor Chimp, Monsieur Chimp as the shooter. And so from that moment on, the cops are on him, which I really appreciate. Yeah, it's good. I liked seeing the like chased by cops or someone other than Jason Bourne. But so Jason, Jason kicks the door and holds him at gunpoint. And the vibe here is essentially like, no, you chose to do this, actually. You volunteered to do this. This is your whole identity.

You are Jason Bourne. The name of this movie is Jason. It's not David Webb. Like no one gives a shit about. It's David Webb. No one gives a shit about that guy. This is who you are. You've got to stop running from it. You've got to come in. And Jason is very troubled by this. Will you commit to this progress? Yes.

And Jason is like, I can't commit to this program. Because 9-11 was an inside job. Because he killed my dad's. And also because it's you. I'm clipping dad as well. I'm neurotypical. I'm flipping that as well. I'm neurotypical. I'm normal. They're neat.

So he's like Jason, you're a patriot and you know that our country is like exposed to real danger and you want to and you wanna be Jason born. And he's like nah, nah, nah, he gets he shoots him non fatally. Jason born get shot. And then at the last moment, Alicia Vikander has to come in and shoot Tommy Lee Jones fatally and and and the thing because you know, fine. And then then he's like, I'm gonna go and kill him as your chimp and she says, you don't have to be Jason Bourne, Jason Bourne,

and then he just leaves. He just leaves. He doesn't even bother answering. He's like, I could. Yeah. There was one fun line in this one language. He's like, where Jason is holding him at gunpoint. He goes, listen, I'm trying to do something else.

I'm trying to be someone else and tell me, he doesn't like. Doesn't make sense. Looks at him with a gun to say, it's like, how's that working out? You know, I'm very happy. I'm really happy. I'm really happy.

So, is that going well for you? So, they now remember that Misha Chimp exists. He's getting hunted by the cops. He looks the most ominous and like the most obvious he's ever looked. Every time he, like, he runs into a load of cops, stops dead, turns around 180 degrees degrees and runs in the opposite direction. And then all the cops notice. Also, like much like the Berlin cops and in, also Mason,

loved shouting, polet, sigh, all of these their own thing. This is for the collected Jason Bourne, slash kill, James Bond, anthology of cops. Yeah, and I imagine like shouting federal agents as you run through them is probably pretty fun. So I don't begrudge them. Yeah, it's the core of the tent. I don't know what college cops do. So then we get a car chase.

I can't see what's happening. No, I was so I was so annoyed right. Jason Chaser's Misha chin down to the lobby. We get a one second foreshadowing shot of the parked SWAT team back at and I'm I just write down at this moment. Oh no. No, not a cut. Just please. No, I'm not strong enough. We get the fucking car chase. Misha Chimp is driving the back at. Can't see. Jason Bournes chasing him.

There are a lot of carbs. We get a lot of foot shots. There's something I want to notice. I'll flag up about this car chase. It goes on far too long, for instance. But secondly, you know that moment, like during a vehicle chase section in a film where there'll be some like really intense music

And then a vehicle goes in there and the music stops and then the vehicle like comes down again and the music starts again So it'll go like, da da da me if you know the words. I can't see what's happening. That's right. That's right. At one point the cops try to block in this like armoured truck with their regular cop cars, which is very funny. I like to think I'm a little, yeah, maybe. And then he just crash his way through. Yeah.

Jason defeats him by means of car suplex. He drives his car onto the roof of the truck, which then causes it to crash. Yeah, it would be sick if you could see it, huh? I thought he just crashed. I thought he just fucked up and crashed. No, they escape into a sort of obligatory sewer level where they fight. And of course, because it would be rude, the cops don't interrupt them. You hear a couple of sirens, so you know they're still there, but like no one follows.

Yes, I was like, I assume they fight, can't see it. Can't see it. I'm going into a storm drain. Let's wait. Jason, Jason makes him look to the left really quickly. Right, here's another fucking thing, and it's similar to the one that you mentioned in the born ultimatum. I don't know, the old name, the fucking same again, which is that I don't know the name the fucking same again. Which is that, this guy has a knife and Jason bought his fighting him using a fucking saucepan he picked up off the ground. And there's no jokes. No, it's quite a complete way.

It's like with a saucepan and it's just like played straight. Yes. Also, why is there a saucepan? I know. I don't know. It might be a saucepan. I could fucking see it. I'm trying to flutch my source fun. Like, I don't understand how you can fuck it.

This is like you gave someone who paints movies, unlimited budget to make a movie. Like, he's proving why the media needs to be retired. That's his fucking purpose. The synopsis on Wikipedia says, he born, snaps the asset to tonight, killing him and avenging his father and past tense, but he doesn't avenge his father. He doesn't say shit about that. He doesn't say shit. He just kills him and leaves. Also, Nikki isn't mentioned. I make him look fast to the left and then he gets up and

sort of staggers off. And I was like, they better not be a sequel hook. And guess what, baby? Bad news. So how does he get away from the police? Never mind, do you, leaves. This is a whole Kossak posse up his ass. Where did I fucking, the full Kossak posse up his ass. Can't arrest a guy who's limping. Can't arrest?

This guy seems like he's just achieved the potheosis of his storyline. We can't fucking arrest him, can we? Can't. Society. So we... R are med survives. Yes. Heather wants to be the new director of the CIA and then I'm like, aren't you like 25? Whatever. Yeah, Riz Ahmed doesn't want to get killed. So he just walks out of hospital and everybody's like, Hey, what are you going to say after C and I? And he's

like, I'm not going to that. I'm not crazy. Yeah, it's crazy. Anyway, though, how about Facebook? Yeah. And then we go to Washington DC. Yeah, what's your aunt up to? You wanna know Facebook? Well, she's a cousin up to, or not good.

I'll tell you that. Not good. Yeah, so we go to DC where, at least for Candra's talking to the director of National Intelligence and she makes us sort of like Darth Vader pitch here, which is like, listen, all of the last four the last four Tommy Lee Joneses all old, right? My thing, I'm not old and also I'm a woman. What if Tommy Lee Jones was a whole lady? I know how to compute it. These are my people.

I understand them. And I still think that we can bring Jason Bourne in. And the director of National Intelligence goes, well, okay, what if you want? She goes, well, obviously we fucking kill him. Of course, I just leave him alone. Would I get the kill Jason Bourne job if I just said, uh, no, I probably wouldn't worry about it. And he goes interesting.

And then she like gets out of the car and fucking, he gets, like, he gets on board. Jason Bourne is there. She goes out to him and I'm like, Hyde Park, they're the fucking like, um, the pond or whatever. And she gives him a cast of his dad star in Langley on the wall. She's just kind of nice. Not Nikki, nothing to do with Nikki who? Character, who are your films? Yeah. And she gives him the sort of like, oh, we're both patriots, you know, you could help keep this country safe. It's different now at the CIA. This is the one other part I like is like

come back, baby. I promise the CIA. One of the few sort of glimpses how chillin. It's awesome. How institutions are able to like reproduce themselves and preserve themselves by doing the sort of minimum amount of superficial change of being like, I actually wear girlbosses now. So have you considered Jason that you're a misogynist? Um, so, and Jason goes, yeah, I'll think about it. She gets back in her car and she sees he has left the spy camera with the recording of her going, yeah, I probably was fucking kill him to be honest. Um, and we get the least fucking hunt.

Moby! She walks away Jason born Jason born will definitely return in Jason born, you know his name too, you still know what he's called. Fuck off. I hope we keep doing these forever. I hope we do them like Indiana Jones movies. I hope Matt Damon is 94 years

old, having to jump off of a roof being D.A. Indiana Jones was at least different every time. I really list as cannot stress how much this film is just like it's just Jason born one in a bag shaken up just as Jason born two and three way. It's just the same film. 2023. I want the born similarity where we do this with Matt Damon again. Also, listen, we've been doing that joke, we'll be good. That's because they literally are using the same music. It's back, it's back, baby.

It is, it is, it is. But for now, until they persuade Matt Damon back again, we're done. We got us as we're finished with Jason Bourne. We're finished with the sort of, we've transitioned from this phase of the program, having killed James Bond. We've finished another series. And now that leaves us in the position of going, well, what the fuck do we do next? Good question.

I think, for now, the answer is, we still want to be kill James Bond, because it's a good name. And also we have the website and everything. Uh, I think that's really how it's changed names. It turns out, there's, there's, I'll tell me about it. Um, any of us really like holding it very easily. Yeah, all of those are changed names at least once. Tell me about it.

I did it twice. Yeah, same. Uh, I think what we should do is, I think there's I thought those are the things that the least ones tell me about it. I did it twice. Yeah, same. I was in a baby. I think what we should do is I think there's some war on terror movies. I think there's some spy movies that would provide a useful counterpoint. And the movie that I want to watch next for our next mainline episode is a little film called Seriana, also with Matt Damon.

Okay. To ease us out of Jason Bond. Yeah, I think it'll be a useful, a useful counterpoint because it's like, it won't depress Also with Matt Damon. Okay, to ease us out of Jason Bond. Yeah, I think it'll be a useful counterpoint, because it won't depress you as much as the one that I had also mooted for this role, but I want to talk about Cereana, because I think it's wildly underrated and understanding all of this. That case, I think I'm pretty happy to call that season two episode one. That's what I think so.

I think so. No, it's. Go. A.V. You have now completed season one of Kill James Bond. Well done. Well, first we have a science based rating. Of course.

You're not quite done yet. It's still scum. The Earth system is good, but it's a little like... It's scum, but I think we should find a way to insert homophobia. I think we can just talk about that in jet. Anyway, so scum, it's a culture. I think we should find a way to insert homophobia. Yeah, I think we should.

I think we should. It's not really funny to me. It's not necessarily. I'm neurotypical. So, smaam, the smaam of this movie. I think the chums system we could have a uh, I mean, uh, uh, smart, smart. What do we think about smart?

I think it's really low. I mean, like it, obviously Tommy Lee Jones has a lot of smart, but he has punished for that by being shot. Um, that's true. He does have a little bit more than usual. Jason Bourne doesn't have a lot of smart, because as ever, he's a sort of yawning void of smart. Like, the, the, all of the bits where he talks about himself

or his arc or whatever, he's just like, I don't care about that, I'm not your friend, I don't care about society or indeed anything. It's a sort of a nihilist movie in that way. So I think it's low smar. I think I wanna give it a two. Tommy Lee Jones's smar is like a particular kind of like schmaltcy patriotic smar. That's true, that's true. I think it want to give it a two. Tommy Lee Jones's Smaam is like a particular kind of like schmaltcy patriotic Smaam.

That's true. I think that's true. I'm still proudening the definition of Smaam as we venture into season two, but how do we feel about it too? Yeah, and Alicia Vikanda tries to do it with a Smaam on him too, and you're like kind of meant to sympathize with this idea of like grumpy patriotism of being like, oh, you know, maybe you have to do the necessary thing and stuff. So yeah, no, I think so. Two. Two. Two. Sure. Cultural insensitivity.

Uh, well, I mean, Abbanian fucking border. Yeah, yeah, both Greece and Albanian, not doing, not presented well in this movie. On the other hand, we spend most of it in what, fucking, I mean, Athens, the Greek people who are always rioting and fighting the cops. Yeah, based, based. Um. Doing, finally doing patriotic socialism.

But then other than that, we spend most of it in, in, like, London and... The euros are new. Yeah, London and Las Vegas. And Aaron Coulod, despite being a, the psych character is not portrayed particularly insensitively, culturally, like there's nothing to, like, that doesn't, way on his character at all. Yeah, yeah.

Which is, you know, kind of a double edged sword, I suppose. But yeah, no, he's just, you know, just regular texie, oh, this is kind of apparent. I still, I think that thing about Albenia is like kind of... It's pretty great. Ah, civilization is within the EU. It's a bit like, I'm a three. He's on the borderlands of civilization,

which is why he's a grown man. He's like basically fighting for the amusement of these foreigners. It's the kind of thing they do out there, yeah. I've got a three. I would say a three, yeah. Come on, let's go. Absolutely. No.

Unprovoked violence. Two. Absolutely. Now, unprovoked violence. There's, I mean, everyone dies in this movie. Is one thing I'd made me know? There's a great deal of violence towards Nicky or Votepi Fair that probably worth discussing under. So, I don't know. There's still the way this movie deals with people is that they're in a scene, they say what they need to, and then they die. And it's so fucking like so clear that they just don't know what to do with a character if they can't shoot them at the end of a scene.

Society. Society. Yeah, I'm getting more goldbithered, I was saying. Yeah, absolutely. It's important. Bumbling modes. If you can see that, that's really, really, really society. He's not French, he's German. I Dublin modes, if you can see that there's really a finesse society. He's not French. He's German.

I don't know why I'm French on it. We're that they named him Christian Disso. But anyway, yeah, I think Christian Disso does betray some of the films attitude towards violence in that it's like normal. Yeah, the asset's killing of Nicky is like something that has to be avenged or whatever. But yeah, for him to try and hit Jason over the back of the head of the big dumbbell or whatever,

that's kind of expected. That's just the world that they both inhabit. I kind of want to give it a few points because over the course of the series, there's kind of been this creep of the normalization of violence. Yes. Because in the first one, Jason Bournem was like, oh my god, I killed people. That's like horrible. I wish I wasn't a CIA killer and in this one it's just like well You could kill the wrong people, but killing somebody is like not fundamentally all that bad Yeah, when it kills when he kills professor chimpe in the first movie

He just he shoots him and kind of like almost a mercy killing this one He he snaps the guy's spine and that's shown too that's that's Yeah, yeah, facial close up before he'd like. And this is portrayed as like good and right. And it's like, I think that Jason Bourner, the first film who was raised, that's not the way of the fisherman that you were raised. It's nothing to do other way of the fisherman.

They're bad. And we really thought, we really thought the way of the fisherman would be a bigger thing because we didn't look at any of the movies after this. He doesn't do any fisherman shit after that. Yeah, if they've done anything even slightly fish-related, you guarantee you're gonna be saying that shit, but like, just doesn't do that.

Well, he did do Jason Spawn at the end of the last week. How do you feel about a four, three? I would say four. I think the next snap takes it up there. Yeah. Now misogyny. Well, before we talk talk about Nikki we do also have to talk about Hezoli Alicia Vikander is competent scheming evil She gets outwisted but she gets her own back Born franchises also finally learned how to have a female character who is both cool and hot. That's true

Yeah, I think you I think you're doing down Pamela landing a little bit there, but yes, sure. Yeah, I don't mind her as a character. Does it still have weird fucking accent, but what can you do? But on the other hand, on the fucking other hand, how can we portray that a woman is going through emotional turmoil? Oh, she's got a bit of makeup, you know, that's what women're going to do in that. Oh, so yeah, what I like about Alicia Vikander's character is that that role could have been played by a man. You could have very easy.

Like the fact that she is a woman is never really like, never really touched on. And I'm like, oh, cool. That's, that's in one sense. Good. Yeah. And it does help her feel like a bit more of an outsider when she's like in the room scheming, which is nice But so so Nikki of course she gets

Five lines more or less all of which are Jason another Jason ball movie is happening Gets gets chased but there is one bit in the scene where she like does defend herself She hits one of the CIA guys with a pipe and it isn't like kind of like Kind of like thing she fucking like laser guy out. She's a master of kung fu and it isn't like kind of like, ah, kind of like thing, she fucking like laser guy out. She's a master of Kung Fu and karate. Yeah, yes, well. But then she gets killed to advance the plot. She wasn't really a character,

we've forgotten about all the stuff we previously did with her character, which was kind of interesting. It's bad, it's real bad, in my opinion. It sucks. I'm so... We could go to, yeah, we could go to a four. kind of interesting, it's bad, it's real bad in my opinion. It's us. It's us. I, I, I, I, I was up. We could go to, yeah, we could go to a four. It's actually very funny to me, actually.

That gives us a total score of 13, which is not good for the Jason Bourne franchise, to be perfectly honest. No. Certainly, it's worse than, uh, born legacy. Yeah. I mean, that's for born legacy was the accident made most of a good film. And then Jason born it again. And I it's so desperately funny that they thought they were not the one afterwards.

To me, that is the funniest thing in the world. Yeah, you have to put Matt Damon on like a thin serving of gruel so that he's able to maintain the fucking stupid physique that you have to do to do these movies in his 40s. I have such a advanced former shandon for you to do these kind of movies, so if I see an unresolved sequel hook, it fills me with such joy. Such true energy, like you fucking dipshit. And that is a podcast. That's a podcast. And now that we're into season two, Bill James Bond, I think we wanted to focus a lot on like films that say something about

masculinity. That's right. So that really opens up, that opens up to all kinds of stuff. I would love to do the Superman series at some point. That would be like a really good run. Like what we're going to do. Ignore my thing about seriana. What we're going to do is now that we've seen all of the James Bond movies in order, and now that we've seen all of the Jason Bond movies in order,

we're gonna watch every other remaining movie series in order. So next episode, we're gonna see that thing with the train coming straight towards the camera. That would be a really good, like, special episode. The next, by the way, this episode that goes out is gonna be the 69th episode That we've posted on nice on pod bean because we've unlocked a few I think that's funny. Yeah, we should do like the fucking train coming forward The one where some shit crushes into the moon Unprovoked violence to the moon the moon is a woman so it's misogynist. The next bonus, I don't know if I'm limited to divulge, but it is the month of June, which

means that once again, it's time for the banquet of forgiveness. That's right. The month of free bonus episode to say thank you to you, the fans and to our proud sponsors at Raytheon and GCHLU. That's right. And thank you for staying with us throughout this whole season and we'll be on return with I guess, Void to the Moon. Jesus Christ, it's Jason Bourne. Thank you for listening to Yet another and indeed the final episode of season 1 of Kill

James Bond. It's been one week since the War of Legacy. It's been a hell of a journey, it's been fantastic, I cannot say thank you enough to you, the fans, the audience. I still don't want to call you my fans because I think it feels exceedingly conceited to admit that I might have fans. So instead I'll simply say thank you to you the listener. Kill James Bond will of course return in two weeks time for season two episode one, Siriana. But I've had it simply too long for you to wait. We have a Patreon Patreon.com-killjamesbond where next week we will be releasing the CSM2 episode 0.5. So we had to push this one back a week, we're going to do a Q&A instead, sorry lol.

Oh I cannot believe we managed to make this one happen. Hey oh we didn't manage sorry. You don't want to subscribe to the Patreon. Well fucking worry about it because that one is going to be coming out free on the free feed for the banquet of forgiveness our yearly month where we give back to you, beautiful fans. And speaking of you, special thanks of course to our 15 pounds and above patrons, and those are Christine Fox, Fox Winchester, Paintmachala, Jack Holmes, George Rohack, Charles Schultz, Thomas Oberhard, Nikki, Carolyn Tankersley, library hitman, Max Kupinski, Bernard Rice, Michael Lutter, Kit DeVine, Amanda Rugg, Max Gamernapp, Jonathan Curtis, Dreadpire, Robin,

Hell Bloodhands, Kentucky Fried Commie, Jay Martin Del, Freeman Commissar, Jen Jen, Phoebe, Olivia Harper, Ellie without the E, Mothman, Top, O Sydney Stackle, Big Titty Goth Girl, Timothy Pjeony, TRIP, Amber de Grazias, oh god, Sephira Lucifer Axe, okay, uh, Shelley out of the closet, Janet and Pawe Zoe Shepard, Elizabeth Cox, J.M. 1-1-1-5-1-9, Finn Ross, Alfredo, I make Devon say this out loud, Philip Smith, Raoul Leal, Wolfy, Tristram, Wolf, Yutu Shudder, McFranc, Al Erwing, Richard Drum, Lucy Keely, Faye Haven, Millie, Bon Lebon, Josh Simmons, Lauren Baston, Penny Banks, Ray's on the diet, and indeed, eat shit and die alone. This has been Kill Jones Bond, starring as always Alice Abigail and Devon.

Our producer is the wonderful name of the day. Our podcast art is by Maddie Vypchensky and our website. It's by Tom Allen. See ya. Music