Upstream - S2E12: To Trap A Spy

Starting point is 00:00:00 If this were a trap, you would certainly be able to kill me before you went down. No question about it. Welcome to... Good morning everyone Welcome to late night Kill James Bond Listen, good sleep hygiene is important Right But not for me I am Alice Caldwell-Kelly

Starting point is 00:00:38 Joined as always by my friends Abigail Thorne and Devin Hello, I am slipping out of my bedroom in a silk robe. I am sitting down with a pot of tea. There are birds outside the window. It's a sleepy Bond. It's a sleepy Kill James Bond. I'm sitting here. I'm going honk.

Starting point is 00:00:59 Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. There's a feather above my mouth that's just sort of like being blown up and then floating back down. me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me Oh, well done! Fuck off! And the worst part is, the worst part is this sort of late night energy is coming to you at, uh, 1400 hours British time, 2pm, and yet, due to the fact that we're all very functional, every single fuckin' host of your favourite podcast has been incapacitated by a lack of sleep but we watched 1964s to trap a spy the first of god knows how many movies that they made by cutting together bits of old footage from the tv show the man From Uncle? Yeah, so listeners, The Man From Uncle, if you weren't aware of it, is a

Starting point is 00:02:08 very, very famous 60s spy TV show, kind of in the vein of a little bit like The Saint. It was just like an icon. And they took some of the episodes of it and then they filmed extra footage and recut them and they turned them into sort of 90-minute films of which there's sort of six or seven

Starting point is 00:02:24 and then we'll do the whole series, and then we'll do the modern man from uncle film with Henry Cavill. And what I've seen is, my brother and I were really into these when I was a kid, and what I really love about this series is that as it goes on, they just get progressively stupider and stupider.

Starting point is 00:02:40 So this is the most serious. This is the most serious one? Oh, crap. Yeah, yeah, this is like, they're playing straight, and then the rest of This is the most serious one Yeah yeah this is like Playing straight and then the rest of it is just like Fucking ridiculous Well because Ian Fleming was involved With the man from Uncle for a while

Starting point is 00:02:54 Like the Broccoli's sued And made him take his name off of it Before that it was like Ian Fleming's I don't know Ian Fleming's Uncle And it shows because this is basically just like a Bond rip off Oh yeah Yeah 100% fleming's i don't know ian fleming's uncle and it shows because this is basically just like a bond ripoff oh yeah yeah a hundred percent uh and like as as abby says later on it gets more sort of like betray it gets into like spy fight and stuff but here we're just doing like if every episode if every film in the bond series was moonraker fuck yeah they all get moonraker there's there's like

Starting point is 00:03:23 we've split the audience here right because some of them will just be putting their head in their hands and others will just be like, yes, this is my podcast. It was made for me. So, yeah. Enjoy that as it happens. But we have to start with The Trap of Spy, which begins with 009 getting killed

Starting point is 00:03:41 in the grandest version of Bond films. The clown agent. Fool. Yeah. with 009 getting killed in the grandest version of Bond films the clown agent fool yeah what's fucked up is that this 009 looks insanely like Mark Ruffalo yeah I thought

Starting point is 00:03:52 it was Mark Ruffalo too actually yeah like there's a shot of him like he opens the car door he's like crashed his car

Starting point is 00:03:59 he's like gut shot he looks at the thing and I'm like that's fucking Mark Ruffalo this is like already I'm like perfect this is the and I'm like, that's fucking Mark Ruffalo. Like, already, I'm like, perfect. This is the vibe.

Starting point is 00:04:08 I'm back in the room. I love it when I start a film, and it opens by excitedly proclaiming that it's in colour. I'm like, beautiful. Fantastic. Yes. Yeah. It's... We get a scene of him being chased from his car by goons, and through the woods, they're

Starting point is 00:04:24 like pushing foliage out of the way. And this is so poorly edited. Occasionally the timing isn't right, so a guy moves in fast motion. It's so poorly acted. It's so poorly fucking... It's beautiful. They hadn't invented acting back then. They hadn't invented editing. then they hadn't invented editing

Starting point is 00:04:45 we are pre-everything it's like real old school Connery Bond shit it's really fun it's nice to I'm saying return with a V we're going back and so the brief that this act 009 has been given is okay you're gonna stumble

Starting point is 00:05:02 to this house and you're gonna like drag yourself through the agony of your searing gunshot wound to the guts, you're gonna drag yourself through the house, up to the bedroom looking for a woman named Angela, and what you actually get in terms of the acting

Starting point is 00:05:18 is, Guy is coming home from a heavy night he just kind of like, covered in sweat, occasionally forgets that his legs were. This is you at like, 9am this morning, Alice. Yes! That was me now! Like, if you asked me to get up and walk across the room, you would get the same sort of like, uh, the same movement out of me. I would like, stumble from like, table to table.

Starting point is 00:05:41 Knocking things off the shelf, that kind of stuff. That's right, that's right. So at first he thinks that no one is home, so he burns some of the labels out of his clothes in the fireplace, and then he gets on the phone to his boss in New York, and says, they're gonna try to assassinate the president of fictional country. Yes. Like Western Atumba, I think he doesn't,

Starting point is 00:06:09 he doesn't say that. It says the president of Western Atumba is going to visit a chemical plant, uh, next week and they are planning to assassinate. And then he gets cut off. Somebody cuts the phone line. It's good. It's like,

Starting point is 00:06:22 it's good. It's dramatic. It's exciting. And then at this point, uh, a woman who I know is evil walks in and I know she's good yes it's like it's good it's dramatic it's exciting and then at this point uh a woman who i know is evil walks in and i know she's evil because she's italian i know she's evil because that's fiona volpe from yes yeah it is yeah i was like that she's a she is a vodka like here she is speaking of and she's playing i was like let's go yeah she is just playing volpe again you might remember her listeners from the last time

Starting point is 00:06:45 she was like, James Bond, who only has to have sex with a woman, she starts hearing a heavenly choir, like, it's her, she's back. Yeah, delivering word lines, but yeah, no, returning champion, Fiona Volpe. And so she

Starting point is 00:07:00 comforts him, I guess, and is like, oh, I didn't know the phone's out. That's crazy. Can you go and stand by this big window, please? She's wearing this, like, incredible nightie, by the way, which is apparently what, like, in the 60s was passed for sexy. So, like, nowadays, this woman would be here in, like, lingerie. But they can't do that because it's the 60s and they haven't invented sex yet.

Starting point is 00:07:24 So she's here in this kind of like bloomers and like a sheer nightie it's not sexy but you can tell they're trying to be, this is the thing that your grandad thought was like the sexiest shit he'd ever seen, it's not sexy it's like sexy coded

Starting point is 00:07:39 a woman in like a sort of pink ankle length quilted house coat that's made mostly out of asbestos, if you showed that to your grandfather, he would get so horny he would die. Yeah. It happened. So... Yeah, RIP.

Starting point is 00:07:55 How they went out, terrible. Terrible. That's what he would've wanted. How that jambed. Like, saw this movie, and was like, so horny, like, he cannot think. Had a heart attack which wasn't survivable back then as it is now. But anyway, Angela says, oh, you should look out the window for some reason. She wouldn't be cool if you went over to the big window and looked out of it, and

Starting point is 00:08:22 he's like, yes dear. This is a hitman assassination. Put your hand on this metal plate! It's so... It's so... over to the big window and looked out of it, and he's like, yes, dear. This is a hitman assassination. It's so weird. It's very contextual, like, standing in this spot. And then what she does is she turns her photography studio lights on him, because she's a photographer, and he gets got through, like, some gunshots through the window.

Starting point is 00:08:41 They just, like, rake his body with gunshots. It's sort of a godfather way and then the really funny thing is that after he's dead they just shoot like one more burst just into the room generally just to like just to add insult to injury and it's quite good it's a good reveal because then the two guys who shot him

Starting point is 00:08:56 come upstairs and they open the door and they are apparently on the same team as Angela and they said did he manage to contact anybody and she said yes he managed to get through to New York and we're like oh these are the bad guys like she's doing the evil voice now and then we get a sequence which I really love because

Starting point is 00:09:13 listeners this film kind of assumes that you know about the man from Uncle TV series and who the characters are but if you don't this is like a really cool introduction to like that's true we get a don't, this is like a really cool introduction to like, the UNCIR. That's true. We get a sort of nice old archival shot of New York City, of Manhattan,

Starting point is 00:09:33 and New York looked like shit in the 60s. Like, people talk about urban decay or whatever in the 70s, but no, in the 60s, what we see is like, the UN building, and across the street from it is like a factory of three giant smokestacks going. And it's just like, oh man, it used to be fucking atrocious. Maybe it still is, I don't know. Also if you know what those giant smokestacks are, do write in. But so, what we see is a little like, tailoring shop in the basement of a brownstone. The Floryers, I think it's called.

Starting point is 00:10:08 And there's a guy in there, pressing some jackets. Guy walks in, this guy looks suspicious, he looks goon-coded, and takes off his jacket, lights a cigarette, goes to light the other guy's cigarette, the guy working there, and fully smokes him out, because the lighter is like a, sort of like, knockout gas, Roger Moore LSD noise ass dispenser. Actually there's a couple of times where I can use this, because they re-use this bit. They like, use this on two different people in this, and, you know, some good screenshots here I think, perhaps.

Starting point is 00:10:50 Yeah, so they knock out the tailor, and then the guy, he opens the door. And then, no no, he doesn't open the door, what he does is he equips his special bell silencer! That's right. It's like something he's brought with him for this purpose. That's fucking right. Oh yeah! To like like muffle the little bell above the door yeah yeah he puts something in it so that the bell doesn't ring when when

Starting point is 00:11:11 he opens the door and lets in like a bunch more uh this is like three three more goons being a spy is like just putting on a suit and kind of doing elaborate bits with the boys it's so good yeah yeah yeah they just go in they're all wearing business suits they fucking like they break into the uh the secret secret room quarters which is underneath the tailor in the tailors yes and there's a receptionist but they also do a little knockout gas thing too which is very sweet we i love i love i love the design, as soon as you get into the spy base, the receptionist is like, watching this from like, a red bakelite monitor, everything is like, concrete, because like, fucking brushed steel hasn't been in, yeah, it's perfect.

Starting point is 00:12:01 This is like, perfect spy location vibes. This is like, um, Casino Royale in the 60s as well. This was just what it looked like to be a spy. And this receptionist, genuinely, like, they bust in the door, knock her unconscious with the knockout gas, and the guy just fully, like, picks her up and like, dumps her somewhere out of the way. Which, great first date idea for me. However, it immediately sets the tone for what this movie is gonna be, right? Or at least,

Starting point is 00:12:31 we think it does, which is, we're not in the fucking killing people business here, we're in the knockout gas business. This is the sort of like, baseline level of violence. The worst thing that happens to you is you sleep it off in a corner much like me after recording this episode you get sort of honk pilled and you know you stand on the honk exactly and then you're fine but then they they steal some security badges that the uncle um by the way by the way this is the headquarters that we surmise of the uncle who are the united network coalition for law enforcement not united nations because that term is protected headquarters, we surmise, of the UNCLE, who are the United Network Coalition for Law Enforcement. Not United Nations, because that term is protected.

Starting point is 00:13:09 But the United Network Coalition for Law Enforcement. They're like, ah, fucking international MI6. We'll learn more about them later. Two of these guys steal the security badges as brought to you by Doritos. I love the security badge design, man.

Starting point is 00:13:26 They're so good. They're like big plastic triangles that you clip on that have a number on. It's so cool. They're like poker chips. It's fantastic. I've been thinking of them as security Doritos the whole time. They clip those on and they go in undercover

Starting point is 00:13:41 and no one really... There's no dialogue here. It's all kind of silent you hear like the clicking and the clacking of their shoes on the concrete floor it's it's very very dramatic i like it absolutely uh so they make their way in only to get to another checkpoint where they set off the alarm the very annoying alarm the alarm which will continue for the rest of this scene it's sort of like golden eye 64 sort of levels of alarm the door

Starting point is 00:14:12 like shuts on them one guy gets through, the other guy literally gets caught in the door not like killed or anything not like crushed, just stuck and is like ah shit that's the level we're pitched at here. He gives up. He surrenders.

Starting point is 00:14:27 He gives up so easily. The security guard knocks the gun out of his hand, walks over, goes to get the gun that he's knocked out of his hand, points the gun at him, and he's like, oh, okay then. He's kind of like holding his arm where it's been stuck in the door and you're like, oh. Poor fella.

Starting point is 00:14:44 It's just gone waylaid and he're like oh poor fella it's just gone way late and it's like oh yeah yeah what's also really funny is that the second anyone has a gun in this movie what they do is they hold it in one hand and they kind of like hunch over forward they might as well have like one hand out the side like it's no no they don't they don't it's like it's it's almost a roger it's like a cousin to a roger warfinger very much to keep me in the vibe in the film they don't stick a hand out but they do kind of they do a little uncle hunch semi-crouch the the funniest thing is for 1964 this is tactically correct they took like that that's how the army taught you to spy like to hold a pistol, to hunch all the way over and look

Starting point is 00:15:26 like a dipshit. Step one looked like a dipshit! Yes! Truly yes! And to me that makes it so much funnier. It's such a British army officer vibe to me, it's just like holding this gun, half crouched, you're quite low, you're holding it with one hand and you go, your gear's there. That's it. They hold a gun like you would hold a live snake yeah i have no conception of how i would hold a live snake no one does until you have to hold a live snake and you decide very yeah and then you hunch over having held live snakes that is how i held them i mean anyway the other guy gets through um and he he uh blows away through the door we see there's a bunch of uncle agents who've been scrambled one of whom we'll meet later and then by the way the way the way he gets through that he blows his way through the door. We see there's a bunch of uncle agents who have been scrambled, one of whom we'll meet later.

Starting point is 00:16:06 And then... By the way, the way he gets through that door is he has he's brought with him from home a briefcase with an oven glove in it. It's so good. It's fantastic. And he uses that oven glove to apply some

Starting point is 00:16:21 plastic or some thermite, we're not sure which, to a door to like blow his way in he just tosses the poor fucking oven glove fantastic then we meet we meet a man we get the best character introduction i've ever seen in my fucking life so good oh my god so he it's really good right the evil spy he's from wasp which we'll get into i'm sure uh he opens the door and he looks ahead of him and he sees silhouetted against the background a man a man stood so normal and so okay this guy shoots straight at him only to discover that he stood behind some bulletproof glass so you get a bunch of cracks and then the lights flick on and you see just sort of a normal looking guy we see we see the act of robert vaughn yes playing the character of napoleon solo

Starting point is 00:17:14 incredible uncle agent and the vibe is like american discount sean connery. Yes. He doesn't even look like he's not. He's not good looking. He just looks like a normal man. In a suit. And what he does is very dramatically run. Well, run is a bit strong. He doesn't even run at first.

Starting point is 00:17:41 This is, this is a problem, right? Because so, so much of the the unintentional comedy of this movie is purely visual, and I'm struggling to convey to you the way that when the bulletproof glass gets shot for the third or fourth time, what Robert Vaughan does is he does a little, like, oop, sort of excuse me motion out of the fray in the same way do you remember that Roger Moore couldn't do a fight scene

Starting point is 00:18:09 he just didn't have that kind of killer instinct he didn't have that aggression that's Robert Vaughn he just walks around the guy he moves in the same way that like someone with like a tray full of drinks trying to get past me makes me

Starting point is 00:18:24 move of like whoops sorry there and then Someone with, like, a tray full of drinks trying to get past me makes me move. I'm like, whoop, sorry there. And then he just... I don't know if, like, maybe this is a limitation of the form. Maybe they couldn't rotate the camera fast enough. But, like, it's so fucking funny that this guy's main reveal is that he sort of just walks around the other guy and shoots him. Like, effortlessly flanks him. This is the most fun thing as well as that

Starting point is 00:18:45 like throughout the whole film like so sean connery listeners the this film actually made me appreciate sean connery's performance as james bond a bit more because yeah sean connery as james bond was charming and he like you know he smiled he was nice to people robert vaughn it's just like he's not charming at all he's just a kind of a dick he's just a normal dude i hadn't actually seen a man from uncle thing apart apart from the reboot until now and seeing the way that robert vaughn plays napoleon solo made a lot of pieces fall into place for me it made the character of archer make a lot more sense to me uh It made like because essentially he's got one thing That thing is smug and he conveys it through his eyebrows. Yes

Starting point is 00:19:32 So he like sidesteps around the wall shoots the guy three times kills him Meanwhile the the other agents have like just sort of brought in his three comrades, the guys they captured. And we see Robert Vaughn's boss, Mr. Allison, who steps out into the thing and is like, oh, I guess they were trying to kill me then. You could have taken this one live for interrogation, maybe. And you know, Vaughn sort of waggles his eyebrows and goes, well, we've got these three. Also, another Robert Vaughn thing.

Starting point is 00:20:10 This is the great thing about his acting, it's so formulaic that I can just pick out things like this. Whenever he has to smile, whenever the direction is to smile, what he does is he grimaces like someone has lightly squeezed one of his balls, and then gets it off his face as quickly as possible and goes back to eyebrows. That's right. Once you notice it, you can't not notice it.

Starting point is 00:20:36 I didn't need to think about Robert Vaughn's balls. Just like a light squeeze, like a handshake sort of thing. Yeah. And he uses his whole mouth, so it's like, eh. But just for a second, and then it's gone.

Starting point is 00:20:51 But yeah, so at this point we also, we briefly meet, but aren't properly introduced to, Elia Kuriakhin, who will in future films be Robert Vaughn's partner, but in this film. So not appearing in this movie. He's there, he's played by David McCallum, famous flautist. But he's really good in this.'s played by David McCallum, famous flautist.

Starting point is 00:21:05 But he's really good in this. But anyway, David McCallum, Eli Kurakin, brings in these other three agents who've been captured, and then he sits them down on the couch, and then they just kind of fall over dead. What happens is, they don't even do that until he touches them. They're sitting down completely still.

Starting point is 00:21:23 They all have died at this point, as soon as they've sat down. And at this point, David McCallum... And then Allison goes, hey, touch one of them. And he touches them. He's like, ah, he's fucking dead. So David McCallum is playing Soviet uncle agent, Ilya Kuryakin, because uncle is international. And at this point in the series,

Starting point is 00:21:38 he's still doing the accent, which he later gives up on. But he's like, he's dead. He's dead. The drop is, I got this man, he's dead. It's so good. The drop is, I got this one. They are dead. But how?

Starting point is 00:21:55 It's so good. It's so fucking good. It's only game. Why you have to be mad? We have big plan, you know. The 60s sound design is so good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so at this point we get an M briefing Bond scene, because Napoleon's so-

Starting point is 00:22:13 Bond, what do you know about African country? Yeah. At this point, my note I've written down here is, boy, you can't fucking say that, cunt. My one is, oh no. Oh god, yeah. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Alison goes, Solo, what do you know about? Newly independent, very primitive African nation.

Starting point is 00:22:31 Fucking hell, fuckers. Yeah. Snudging up the C score there. Yeah. But the way in which this movie treats, is it West Ntumba they call it? West Ntumba, I think. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:22:44 The way this movie treats West and Toomba is in it's way occasionally strangely progressive in other ways not so good this is one of the not so good column something that genuinely struck me later on is like how

Starting point is 00:22:59 well the characters from the Toomba are like treated these guys are just one of the more characters well, the characters from the Toomba are treated. Yeah, it could have been a lot worse. They're real people. The vibe is, Western Toomba has thrown off the shackles of its colonial oppressor, And is now putting on the shackles of international... Well, we'll get there, but for now, they don't even get that far, they're just like, it's a new nation, on the world stage, and that's a good thing.

Starting point is 00:23:31 And we're sort of broadly optimistic about this. Now if you say, oh, there's a new country or whatever, that's sort of like a punchline, right? At this point, 1964, that's like, no, this is like, George Washington shit is happening in the jungle right now. It is the newest country. Yeah, exactly. And we as sort of the community of nations are proud to welcome them onto the international stage. Unfortunately, someone's gonna fucking kill the fucking fucking yeah premier prime minister m m tells bond or alison tells so one of our guys at the start agent lancer uh the guy from the opening of the film he's been

Starting point is 00:24:12 killed yeah mark ruffalo ruffalo he's been killed 1964 mark ruffalo that's right he he had infiltrated a chemical weapons company a chemical company which is owned uh by a guy called uh andrew vulcan and this is a cool name cool name and Vulcan. And this is a cool name. It's nothing but a name so far. This is a front. The chemical company is a front for Wasp. Wasp are Spectre. And there's kind of a funny thing with this,

Starting point is 00:24:37 which is that like, so in the Man From U.N.C.L.E. series, the Spectre villains are actually called Thrush. I noticed that. Yeah, they're actually called, but for some copyright shenanigans, in this film they're called Wasp, and they're dubbed over really badly. So every time it's just like, we need to try and stop

Starting point is 00:24:53 Wasp. It's even better, the most noticeable one is when they have the head of the Nation of the Doomba say it, and his voice is so different to the one that they dub him over with it's so good Wasp!

Starting point is 00:25:10 Perfect, just fantastic So Solo's like alright, fine, I'm gonna go see I guess my handler slash secretary slash slam piece So the mission is find out who killed Lancer

Starting point is 00:25:28 and then stop whatever Wasp is up to trying to assassinate, we assume, the president of West Natumba. And then so Q and Moneypenny are the same person in this. Qnipenny. Stacked 10 out of 10.

Starting point is 00:25:44 Maggie. Yes. And Maggie works in a little office with a sealed door and a radio in it where she just talks to Solo in the field, which says a lot about how men sort of desire women. But she's about to go on vacation. Imagine desiring a woman where you could touch her, but you could only hear her voice, listeners. Wouldn't that be, like, really weird? One of the things that she says when she's on the radio is uh

Starting point is 00:26:08 channel D is open and I fucking bet it is this is another like uncle thing it's an iconic phrase where wherever they want to talk to uncle they just go open channel D please channel D is open channel D is open

Starting point is 00:26:23 but so this movie is so old that Fire Island wasn't even gay yet, is how old it is. She's like, packing for a vacation, she's like, oh yeah, I'm gonna go to Fire Island. Totally normal. Unremarked upon. But what Robert Vaughan does, what Solo does, is he sees her bikini top, just like, draped over a chair, immediately grabs it, he holds onto it for the rest of the scene, and then, he does a perfect inverse baby boom echo of

Starting point is 00:26:56 the Shinzo Abe meme, because what he says is... This ain't going to slow down the population explosion, I'll tell you that. I'mma keep it real with you the 36th president of the united states lyndon baines johnson this will not ameliorate the exploding population all of his like bond one-liners are like this and they're all shit they're all like what the fuck yeah he picks up the bra and is like, well, this is too expensive to have shrunk, so I suppose you must have bought it like that. And everyone's like, you did it, buddy. Ha, 60s junk.

Starting point is 00:27:32 She gives him a communicator. She also gives him a briefing using an incredibly loud live projector. Yes, I wrote this down too. She's just like, yeah, let me just activate the extremely loud briefing projector. She's just showing a picture like, this is vulcan this is the factory shout over the noise

Starting point is 00:27:55 it's so good so what she tells him is that the delegation for most of the time is like... It's three people. There's the president, the guy that they're gonna try and kill, President Ashiman. There's his minister of defense, and there's his minister of economics. And that's it.

Starting point is 00:28:24 That's all you know. That's all you get. And then at this point... He calls her an agent provocateur. Oh, I have that line. AGP, for short. Quite literally. Yeah, me when I flash a bra strap to get they-them pussy. Well, thank you, my little agent provocateur. And then he has this line where, where she's going to turn on Fire Island is the idea

Starting point is 00:28:47 and he explicitly compares her to a piece of meat by saying medium rare on both sides and it's like uhhhh 1964 yeah they're in like some kind of, I think we're supposed to imagine

Starting point is 00:29:03 friendly flirtatious office relationship. Yeah, fucking Moneypenny shit! Yeah, but the difference is, they are fully fucking, like that's one of the things that the Bond franchise sort of like, diverted into as it became curiously prudish about Moneypenny until the Lazenby era, where it's like, yeah, it's just like this unspoken, it's like a flirtation between them that we kind of sense didn't really go anywhere, whereas

Starting point is 00:29:27 this is like, no, they're fucking all the time in there. Oh, by the way, we also hear that the wasp guys who died at the start, who just fell over dead, it's because they swallowed poison before they even went on the mission. I kind of like this idea, because Kuri Akan is like, yeah,

Starting point is 00:29:43 you know, whether they succeeded or failed, they were dead men. And they kind of immediately undercut it by being like, ah, well, Wasp is so evil that they probably didn't even tell them that they were poisoned. So we do some detective work, Solo goes through Andrew Vulcan's old yearbook, to be like, well, he must have been heterosexual at some point, he's vocelle now, because of business. That's right. Like me.

Starting point is 00:30:14 But, as an American man, at some point he must have been going steady with a woman. Such a cute expression. He looks through sorority records, which he, you know... He probably just has those, I think. Yes, it's a club for girls. It's a useful, useful drop. And he finds a photo of Vulcan with his arm around a woman, whom he has to deduce who this is, and let me tell you, you get a fuckin' name

Starting point is 00:30:45 alert as we introduce... Elaine May Bender. I also wrote Elaine Bender down. Yeah, yeah! Elaine May Bender Bending Rodriguez. Robert Vaughan's voice is so good. Yeah, 100% so good. He always sounds like this, yeah. So Elaine Mae Bender is, uh, she's from New York, she, like, dates him in college,

Starting point is 00:31:11 and then she went off to get married, and is now an unremarkable suburban housewife in suburban upstate New York. What a dream. Absolutely. Jesus. So he goes to visit her. There's a fantastic sort of like, almost bawdy bit, where in order to make this introduction, he's gotten the bishop of her church to send her a pastor or her priest to like, chaperone her, and introduce him as like, no, this guy's fine.

Starting point is 00:31:43 It is normal to let Robertbert vaughn in your house he just does this thing with his eyebrows do not be alarmed i think it's like slightly weirder to let robert vaughn in your house if he's like introduced by a priest like what and the priest gets a bit of comedy too because he's like well the bishop told me to vouch for him but you know in good conscience I can only really vouch for the bishop, and then gets pulled off stage by a big hook, sort of thing. It's like pure vaudeville. But anyway, then Robert Vaughan wins the Brian Cox Memorial Award in Intelligence. He wins the Brian Cox Memorial Award in Intelligence and barb, because what he

Starting point is 00:32:18 does is he sits her down, and he's like, Wasp is a top secret kill squad. You heard of Spectre? It's Spectre? yeah, however, I'm a member of Uncle, which is another top secret kill squad she goes, I'm a member of Uncle, and she responds and here's Brittany you know, I've heard of that, I think

Starting point is 00:32:37 I've read about that somewhere just like, cool secret agent my favorite sort of like, totally unspoken thing... It's the same thing you heard of the red and black! Well, she's a 50s housewife, she's like, I'm a lot of quaaludes, and I've been reading some weird literature. But my favorite unspoken thing here is that when he introduces it, when he shows his ID, which he then snatches away from her, he doesn't say uncle. He says the U N C L E. And then like, and you can tell he's like this time, this time I'm going to make it stick. And she's like, oh, uncle. And immediately he folds.

Starting point is 00:33:16 And he's like, the rest of the movie, he just calls it uncle. It was like, fuck. He wanted it to be so much more impressive. It's like, I'm with the UN, see Ellie. And she's like, uncle? And it's like, yeah, yes, uncle. The United Network Committee for Law Enforcement. And uncle needs you to get on a plane to Washington, D.C. right now and abandon your husband and your children in order to serve your country. Yeah, and get close to Andrew Vulcan and find out what the the deal is with this because we think they're going to assassinate

Starting point is 00:33:47 the president of this new nation this is a fucking banger of a premise for a film it's like suburban housewife has to go and become like a glamorous spy lady and this rocks this is so i wish the movie had been from her point of view to be honest like this will get tired however because one of the tenets of the man from Uncle was that in order to give you a way in, they had to have an innocent, a character who was not a spy, but became inveigled in damn near every plotline. It's fine for this one time, but, you know, bear with me, because it's gonna get boring. So he puts her on a plane, uh, there is a sexy woman

Starting point is 00:34:26 on the plane, flying pink lipstick, which triggers Robert Vaughn. Yeah, she's doing a nude lip, looks great. And like- And like, yeah. And like, Bryce's drive-by harasses this woman on the way first. And she's like, whatever happened to red lipstick? And she's like, it's the same lips. And he's like, very nice. What he says is-

Starting point is 00:34:42 You know, this isn't fraud against men. Kill yourself. How about that? Take you to a sleep on the first date. I'm just going to say this idea of like a fraud against men is like so entrenched in 1964 that you could say it about pink lipstick. How is that? What's the fraud?

Starting point is 00:35:02 What are lips are? Yeah, man. I thought those were your regular lips, but actually, now, I've discovered that there's fucking lips under here! Wait till you hear about overdrawing, my dude!

Starting point is 00:35:15 What? Now you'd kill him if you told him about overdrawing. I will also say, this is something I want to talk about, the sexual politics of this movie. Every man in this movie is constantly, like, sort of wearing, displayed on their forehead, what they think their percentage chance to smash is at that moment. And it's sort of- that's a key component to, like, every male actor's delivery. Robert Vaughn is just like, 100% all the time.

Starting point is 00:35:43 He's in the high nineties all the time he's tattooed yeah he sees the pink lipstick it goes down to 99 she does the line about it's the same lips it goes up to 105 fully just my man moving through life there's even a bit where when he's asking

Starting point is 00:36:00 Elaine about Vulcan and they're like oh yeah we had a little bit of a thing in college or whatever and he immediately hits back with why didn't you marry him and she's like oh no he was weird and she kind of like essentially goes oh

Starting point is 00:36:21 you made a stupid move now you've only been married into trash. But yeah, it's so, like, the politics of the era where it's like, you dated a guy in college, yeah? Why didn't you marry him? It's like, what? Like, I can't even remember the names of half the people I dated in college now, man.

Starting point is 00:36:38 He, like, builds her legend for her. He, like, hands her various pieces of information like, this is what your house looks like. You're now Elaine May Van Every every a rich widow in oil wells uh here's here's what your holdings are here's who your friends are and everything about this is this is i think this this thing where she like she's sitting in the seat he's being very charming with quotes next to her handing her all this shit i think this is a 1960s man's idea of what a 1960s woman's sexual fantasy is and it's all about wealth and at this point i wrote down simply america is dog nation no no no this isn't this isn't the sexual fantasy of a woman in the 1960s, this is the sexual fantasy of me now. It's like, here is your boundless wealth.

Starting point is 00:37:28 Yeah, because the next morning she's in a hotel room and Robert Vaughan wakes her up and he's giving her breakfast and a room full of designer gowns and fur coats and he's like, I've gotten you into a fancy party this evening. You'll be amused to know that I wrote down, which as she does stepping out of bed directly into kitten heels is an abigail thorn move it's all the time yeah she does put on pink heels but she gets into the uh she gets into the hotel room and robert vaughn is like a put on like breakfast um and be like filled this room with designer clothes and jewelry and furs um and i have written i would immediately fuck someone who did this for me because he's

Starting point is 00:38:05 also like andrew vulcan's having a black tie party tonight obviously you're going you're gonna try and get close to him i've also booked you a hairstylist and makeup artist and i'm like because you look like shit quite frankly bestie god like i i would instantly fuck a man who did this for me this is like an iconic move please someone do this there's an interesting little line here where he's trying to get her to eat breakfast which is french toast and she doesn't want to eat like a big breakfast and she says i bet the real uh van every or whatever is fat american american adults overeat i'm like it's 1964 every american woman has two eating disorders on the go at the same time, and like, whose main calorific group is fucking quaaludes. And you get a little bit of a sense

Starting point is 00:38:54 of how that maintained itself as a system, to just be like, oh that's a normal thing to say that will make us sympathise with this character, is be like, I bet she's fucking fat. Also, everyone's like, you know, eating lead and covered in radiation like who gives a shit after our fucking toast who cares lead was like on tables with salt and pepper back then there's there's there's a bit later where solo like meets another woman and apologizes for offering her a cigarette that has a filter on it that's the level of devil may care we're at with public health she's like is is a filter okay uh so and she's like i'm sorry i'm gonna fuck you wearing this condom aids hasn't been invented yet one thing we've skipped over someone is that when elaine

Starting point is 00:39:41 wakes up in in the hotel room napoleon is there already he's stood in the hotel room Napoleon is there already he's stood in the room fully clothed staring out of the window and he goes telepathy is real and he's like I've been sending you messages to wake up for 60 seconds and she's like why do you have the number 3000

Starting point is 00:40:02 on your forehead hell of an open gambit i assume this is like just more 60s like population explosion shit it's still just people must have been talking about this in the 60s it's like i think there's something to this mental telepathy thing and i'm like what dude good morning to you too so so so she goes to the function, where she looks great, she's got her hair done, she's in like a gown, she meets the hostess, who is a trans woman, I'm gonna say this- Who's the same woman from the plane. That's true, she's perpetrated a fraud against women.

Starting point is 00:40:35 She's got a nude lip again. Killer. Yep, that's right. Uh-huh. On the spot. Fantastic jawline on this woman. And she's like, would you like to come and meet the delegation from western tumba and she's like yeah sure let's do it and it's weirdly not racist like i did i

Starting point is 00:40:55 keenly conscious here i was like racing myself oh god this is a podcast of three white people, right? But, to me, it's fully like, or shucks at kind of brand of American liberalism, of like, hey, you guys threw off your colonial oppressors, we did that! You know, I did that too! Did you like some new ones? Yeah, you guys are just Americans. But you're like, you're just Americans geographically displaced. Yeah, you guys are just Americans. But you're like, you're just Americans, geographically displaced. Yeah, 100%. And we see that, like, we actually managed to have a conversation between these

Starting point is 00:41:35 different characters about neocolonialism, because the deal is, they're coming to Vulcan because Vulcan is gonna build, like build a synthetic material, like a plastics plant, in their country. And no one else is going to do it. There's a lot of investors, but no one wants to invest. And we get like a okay, maybe basic, but pretty straightforward

Starting point is 00:41:58 discussion of colonialism, which I've put in, in its entirety as a drop, because I think it's worth talking about first we throw the colonizers out and then we come to them hat in hand begging them to come back don't oversimplify old boy it's one thing to enter as masters and quite another to enter as investors and we genuinely have this like like two different politics of post-colonialism of the kind of like liberal uh it's fine, we'll

Starting point is 00:42:26 get them in as business partners again, versus this sort of rankling a little bit when it's people that you've been fighting for your liberation. And it doesn't make any jokes about this, it's just there, and it's good. And you know, everyone kind of takes them seriously as nation builders, and Robert Vaughan meets them later on and he's just like, yeah, I mean, uh, good luck building a country! Mm-hmm. But so, at this point, Andrew Vulcan sort of like, lurches into the frame.

Starting point is 00:42:54 The big number on his forehead is going up and up and up, because he has seen Elaine May Bender, his old college girlfriend. Elaine May Bender! Elaine May Bender. The oneender the one that got away we sense Elaine May Bender Elaine May pegging essentially shoves

Starting point is 00:43:17 everyone out of the way and is like okay I need to talk to this woman this guy is like Elaine I haven't seen you in years how's it going oh, my husband died. She says like two months ago. Goes down a bit to like the high 70s. She plays a spot perfectly because he comes over and is like,

Starting point is 00:43:36 my God, is that Elaine? And she like looks directly in his eyes and goes, I'm sexually available. And he's like, hot dog, baby. He's like throwing his hat on the ground. Back in business. Yeah. in business yeah not 60 seconds he says it's been many years since i've been moved by the look of a woman and it's like you just heard her husband died two months ago my dude like yeah but he became volsel for business uh he he takes around the balcony

Starting point is 00:44:01 that's right uh he takes her on the balcony Meanwhile, Robert Vaughn is talking to the delegation. And sort of, Vulcan is like looking over his shoulder at him. He's fully winding up to do the kill him thing. Yeah, yeah. This is quite a nice little scene because as Vulcan and Elaine are chatting, we see Robert Vaughn in the background and inside.

Starting point is 00:44:22 And Vulcan's henchman, a guy called Mr. Jist comes in and he's like, oh, oh Mr. Jist but he comes in and he says, Andrew our friend's uncle is here tonight and it's like, oh, okay, so we get a little bit of coded spite

Starting point is 00:44:36 you mean our friend's uncle are here tonight you ungrammatical fuck but he's like, oh, make sure that our friend's uncle is taken care of. We get a cool little bit of spy speak. Kill him. It's cute. And of course,

Starting point is 00:44:53 Elaine immediately recognises this and gestures to Solo, who is like, okay, fine. I'll meet you. I will prepare my special move here. So they talk for a bit and she talks about him

Starting point is 00:45:10 being Volsel. They dance because he's taken dance lessons but he's never had an opportunity to use them until now. I quite like that line. I quite like that. Because she asks him, she's like, surely you must have learned to dance between college and now and he goes, well I took lessons but I've never had the inclination to use them until tonight

Starting point is 00:45:27 he says until just now which is like his like sort of his sexuality sort of like blossoms like a flower which is then crushed immediately because napoleon solo has been charging his special move this is something above a sigma male. This is a fucking Theta male move. He literally... He sees them dancing. He, like, takes his hand away from her, and he's like, no, no, no.

Starting point is 00:45:55 You're doing that wrong. You need to be doing it like this. Shows him how to dance, and then goes, by the way, I'm stealing this woman from you and dances away with her fucking fucking incredible just sigma shit unreal it's it's all carried on the eyebrows here but they they chat and um well this ends up being quite cute because they chat and robert vaughn says okay cool uh i don't understand that I'm in danger. Put this thing in the prime minister's drink,

Starting point is 00:46:26 the prime minister of West Ntumba. And they're like having to like laugh and pretend this is a normal conversation because they're being watched. But then Robert Vaughn kind of dances her back to Vulcan and then goes, thanks very much and walks away. And Elaine has this line where she says, what a charming man, or at least I'm sure he thinks so.

Starting point is 00:46:43 And it's this quite like nice moment where she's acknowledges the weirdness of what's just happened yeah yeah yeah for sure um i plus generally one of my favorite things is when a character says hey laugh like i'm saying something really funny to you right now and and like the other person laughs that i really like that that's one of my favorite sort of spy movie things. So she does drug the Prime Minister, this happens off-screen, because Solo has to go and powder his nose, he has to break into a women's powder room, and communicate with Channel D to talk to this horny woman back at headquarters.

Starting point is 00:47:22 On the way out, another woman, who he been flirting with earlier looks at him like, um, why are you in women's spaces? And he sort of, once again, theta males his way out of it by being like, listen, I'll be in Manhattan on Thursday, you can fuck me then, do you have to break down the door in here? And it's like jesus christ i i have some thoughts about the sort of like the sexuality and the sexualization of this movie they're not weirdly they're not all negative but like most of them are yeah i mean at least the lady on the plane that he talked to the lipstick

Starting point is 00:47:57 but the lipstick lady like she deliberately like makes eye contact with him and deliberately like drops her lipstick on the floor so that he picks it up. So at least she instigated that a little bit. We see throughout this film that Robert Vaughn is being pursued by women. He's not always chasing them around like Sean Connery was. Not always. So the Prime Minister is

Starting point is 00:48:17 incapacitated. He has to be carried up to his room. He's knocked out. He won't be able to go and visit the plant, which is where they think the assassination is going to take place uh so they think he's safe he gets in his car to drive back to his hotel on the way he has a bizarre conversation with maggie yeah he calls up maggie again who is like uh good that the thing's working by the way way, you up? What are you wearing? She fully initiates this as a flirtatious

Starting point is 00:48:50 as a sexual conversation. She tries to sext him over a 60s radio connection. Yes. She's like, what are you wearing? It's like grey flannel suit, same as every other cunt. How dare you? His is tan. Sort of like a brown. You up? One to cyber, over!

Starting point is 00:49:10 I love when a guy comes to my door and is like, telegram, and then you're like, do you want to fuck? And I'm like, I've been bored, I don't even know you. It's like, I'm driving my big sort of 60s Cadillac, like, down a nice, quiet country road. I'm turning the steering wheel for miles and it's not moving. Bet you wish you were here instead of locked up in an office. He has this fucking bizarre line before he hangs up

Starting point is 00:49:36 where he just goes, Drink your milk? Yes! What the fuck? He's like, she's like, got milk and cookies there, which he somehow knows. Women be drinking milk? Because of telepathy.

Starting point is 00:49:49 And she's like, will you sext me, essentially, and he goes, drink your milk. Uh, good girl. We're not getting off the bit where he's genuinely telepathic, we're not gonna do that. I was thinking about it! I was thinking more about this sort of like a Discord Daddy-Kitten relationship between these two. Yeah. It's atrocious.

Starting point is 00:50:10 Yeah, it's very odd. Discord Daddy is a disgusting phrase and I hate you for putting it in my mind. Not now, kitten. Daddy has to, like, detect the presence of another woman. Which he does, because he's, like, the pussy detector goes off. Yeah, that's it. It's like, the number on my forehead is still very high, but there's no one around. Yeah, why is it going up? And he turns around with a gun, and it's like, there's an Italian skank in the backseat of my car. There's a broad in my fucking wagon.

Starting point is 00:50:43 What's happening here? He pulls over, he does the line about, like, oh, I'm sorry, I only have filtered cigarettes, which is fucking great. Because I'm gay! You might as well pee in a fucking dick in your mouth! You're giving me a filtered Marlboro? Die. Get out of my sight. He gets her out of the car, and he's like, well, what if you have a gun concealed on you? And she's like, I'm wearing a fucking- look at this dress, do I look like I have shit

Starting point is 00:51:13 concealed on me, the tuck is like halfway up my fucking asshole on this thing. And he's like, well, I dunno, it could be done. And at this point he sticks his gun in her tits. And the sort of, the, the like, interactive fiction thing of, use gun on tits that he's doing here, really feels like every spy movie we've done has like, collapsed into one singularity. Yeah. It's just like, yeah, that's what it is, that's what it is, fuckin' cut it, print it, send it, make it the episode episode art him sticking his gun on a woman's tits but then he searches her with the gun barrel and it's sort of more it's it's not shown right we

Starting point is 00:51:54 see her face but the sort of thing is he puts the gun barrel like up to her pussy yeah like inspect it for weapon she's like uh pussy off She's either into this or pretending to be. Use gun on pussy. That's right. Um, so, at this point she's like, 009's still alive. He wants to meet you. He sent me here. It's not a trap, and if it is a trap, you're so smart and handsome, you could definitely get out of the trap if it is a trap you're so smart and handsome you could definitely

Starting point is 00:52:26 get out of the trap if it was a trap and this works of course it works because he's telepathic he's like well I'd know if it was a trap you get the drop that we had at the start where she's like oh you'd just kill me straight away and he's like yep

Starting point is 00:52:42 I've written here she's a great actress because as you know he opens the door for her and she gets in the car and then he walks around to get the other side and just through a look we get her going like i'm evil she's so good on her face is just like genuinely genuinely the best actor yeah yeah it's fantastic. And so, he drives them to the same house that we saw 009 get killed in. And we get some more flirtation on the way, she's like, oh, I live alone, from time to time, you know. Me too, baby. Yeah, I never have any men back here.

Starting point is 00:53:23 And he's like, oh, so I shouldn't, like, intuit anything from this, I shouldn't misbehave, and he's like, oh, so I shouldn't, like, intuit anything from this, I shouldn't, like, misbehave, and she's like, oh, I didn't say that. And I like this, it is cute, and it makes me think about this, because this sort of normalization of flirting, of sexuality, is, as we know, a tremendously oppressive thing in real life, right? However, when it's done in this fit like this this framework of fiction where it's like oh everyone's everyone's horny everyone's into it nobody's like got a headache that day or is gay or just fucking doesn't fancy you or whatever whenever it's no stakes like this you get a little glimpse of how i bet it was possible it wasn't worth it but i bet it was

Starting point is 00:54:06 possible if you were in the mood with the right person for it to be fun for it just to be totally normal for a man to go up to a woman and be like hey nice tits how's it going kind of thing um it's you know it's it's nice in a way which seems so weird it's like that right this whole scene is the two of them just sort of like, moving through the house, doing bits. And I, like, earnestly find it extremely charming. He's genuinely doing like, Bob Hope bits, because he knows it's a trap, because of the telepathy. He grabs like a sword off the wall, and he's like, oh yeah, my grandma used to swing a sword around looking

Starting point is 00:54:46 for like, prowlers and stuff. And he's fully just, they're just doing bits with each other, he's like, darting through doors unexpectedly and like, getting her to go through things. Finds the house empty. And he's like, okay, I still know this is a trap, but I'm gonna let my guard down enough to have sex with this. Yeah, meanwhile his like, forehead meter has just has just gone up to about 200% at this point. Yeah, and then we get this, frankly, incredible exchange.

Starting point is 00:55:13 A line which has been painted with a laser designator. This line has been dropped from an aircraft. Willem Dafoe and the lads are sighting you up and blowing up children in the next yard over. And the lads are like, sighting you up and blowing up children in the next yard over. At 30,000 feet, it has spiralled down to directly obliterate me, because he's kissing her, he like, undoes her dress, and the discussion they have is... What would you like me to change into? Oh, uh, anything. But a boy.

Starting point is 00:55:44 Happens to the best of us, anything. But a boy. Happens to the best of us, Napoleon. You should try it. It's not bad. You might like it. I mean, she opened up the whole scene by being like, well, if I was a trap, you'd notice before you went down. Grinder, yeah.

Starting point is 00:56:01 But, like, this is, it's hilarious for Alice reasons, but also it's a very, like, instant and very specific denial from Robert Boyd. Robert, should I be changing to you? Not a boy. I'm not gay. I'm not gay. I didn't say that. I would hate for you to be a nubile young boy. I'd hate that. Why do you have a second smaller

Starting point is 00:56:19 percentage on your forehead that just says thinking about femboys and why has it been 9999 the whole movie yeah it's it's just like an extremely specific denial of the love of all these to be about definitely not a guy beautiful woman and yeah just go i'm not thinking about men And you're like, huh? Like, we are WhatsApp? They have sex, she's like, do you think I'd look good with a moustache? He discovers...

Starting point is 00:56:55 He's like, I really enjoyed making Abigail the other night at the Tia Blanche show! And he finds the burnt label in the fireplace, and he's like, oh, shit, fuckin' 009 was here, and he's not gonna come and meet us, I'm being led up the garden path. Luckily I already knew this. So she's got, you know, there's an old Russian proverb, the fox it's the, uh, the fox knows many tricks, but the hedgehog knows one good one. She knows one assassination method, which is, would you like to stand in my, like, window here?

Starting point is 00:57:37 Yeah. And he doesn't want to do it, and she's just kind of stuck. He really clearly doesn't want to do it. She, like, points down at the fucking like fake little bridge over the brook in the garden or some shit and it's like look there he is and there's just a guy stood like perfectly statuesque silhouetted and i'm like is that him and she's like there's a guy with a gun hiding in that guy's silhouette which is so gay silhouette technique which i used for the opening of the film yeah Yeah, the second guy stood perfectly behind you, so he's blocked.

Starting point is 00:58:08 Two identically shaped dudes. Is it gay to stand perfectly behind your dude, concealing your silhouette from the enemy? Um, so she throws on the lights and then tries to push him into the field of fire, but he just like sidesteps her and she falls into the past of every bullet. He uses the technique of walking slowly around her again. Yeah, once again he just does the whoop. He goes around a pillow and you're like, oh fuck, just one move. And it works! It works, she gets absolutely lit up and I wrote owned.

Starting point is 00:58:40 Yeah, she gets owned. He looks a little bit shocked and a little bit sad because Solo is like debonair and urbane, he's not like in the business of killing women callously, even when they're trying to kill him. But then the two goons try to come in and we get a chase scene. He like gets out over the roof, they chase him through the gardens. We get a bit of a shootout. He gets away in his car, and then one of the goons goes to the other, hey, get the car, and he goes, no, don't worry about it, I've tampered with the car. In a plot for my sort of unproduced screenplay called Speed, I've hooked the speedometer

Starting point is 00:59:14 to some kind of bomb or something, and the second it hits 50 miles an hour, that shit is just armed. I call it, The Car That Couldn't Slow Down. And then he delivers this weird, weird, weird line where he says, Our uncle's going to go sleepy by forever. Much like the podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very unusual.

Starting point is 00:59:37 But then Sir Robert Vaughan does in fact get to 50 miles an hour and they knock out, they deploy his little... I thought it was a bomb out I thought it was a bomb I was like wait literally sleepy bite because the gas the knockout gas

Starting point is 00:59:55 the weed gas comes up through the dashboard how could you know that would kill him 50 miles an hour isn't fast well I mean it's sort of 60's cars he's being impaled by the steering wheel 50 miles an hour isn't fast he could just coast well I mean it's sort of 60s cars he's being impaled by the steering wheel but he happens to be like

Starting point is 01:00:10 he happens to be on a bridge if he hadn't been on a bridge he'd like fuck knows what would have happened but he goes into the water um at this point we go back to Elaine who is looking at herself in the mirror in her sort of like expensive dress and is like like, terrified.

Starting point is 01:00:26 She's like, I don't know who I am anymore. Yeah, she's hearing the fucking Green Goblin suit through the door being like, go on. Be rich. Is away from her husband for one night, I don't know who I am anymore. After all, why shouldn't I become a sort of

Starting point is 01:00:40 rich and wealthy widow? And Solo stumbles in sort of half-drowned, and immediately passes out on the carpet. There's a degree to which I find it very fun that they set up a trap for Napoleon Solo, and it

Starting point is 01:00:56 just honestly goes off and works. He just barely survives and is like, fuck, they nearly got me! He loses his gun and his communicator. As he says to her, when she's feeling a bit insecure about it later, I don't know why, you're doing better than I am. Which I liked.

Starting point is 01:01:12 But so, she nurses him back to health, he does this whole scene with a wet towel on his forehead, and she's like, yeah, I don't want to do this anymore, Andy seems like a good guy, and, you know, I'm not really loving being a sort of like spy cop, and being used as like a sexual trap here, and he... Well, if it was a trap, you'd know when you went down. That's right. And in the most sort of 1950s America is dog country response, he literally goes, and this is damn near verbatim,

Starting point is 01:01:42 Well, if me being hurt doesn't matter to you check this shit out they hurt my car god damn it it's like so genuine yeah they damaged my fucking car woman and then he stands her up

Starting point is 01:02:00 in front of the mirror and he's like I'll tell you what your problem is your problem is you're afraid of serving cunt same speech that Abby gave me when we started this mirror and he's like i'll tell you what your problem is your problem is you're afraid of serving cunt same speech that abby gave me when we started this podcast and she's like he's like listen you you're you're mediocre right you're a mediocre housewife and you're gonna have to go back to that as is your role in our society and you so you're afraid because you're afraid you won't be able to do it because because you look good now." And she's like, yeah, this convinces me. I'm back on the team. I don't know why Abi called you a mediocre housewife.

Starting point is 01:02:30 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm really sorry about that. It was cruel. Textually, I'm sure it made more sense. I'm sure you're an excellent housewife, I promise. Yeah. But so, she essentially is convinced to get taken by Vulcan to his plant, his factory, on a date. His location. To be like, I'm so interested in plastics, or whatever, please take me to the

Starting point is 01:02:57 plastics store. He's like, I'm gonna make them really small and then put them in everything. We get some great goon outfits yeah yeah yeah we do uh we get we get a whole bunch of great sets in in the factory there are some fantastic ones i will be calling this place the pipes factory from now on because that's what it is they have a room which is like big shit bubbling yeah they've got the boiling piss room i was very excited to see the boiling the boiling piss room the boiling piss has a gantry and people walk over it like five times in the same shot, and I'm like, oh, they're gonna dump someone in the piss.

Starting point is 01:03:32 And they never do! Someone's going in the piss, and they just- No one ever goes in the piss! I'm so fucking mad, because they have three scenes where they, like, people are walking over this gantry over the boiling piss, and there's like, no handbars on like... there is on the gantry, but when you get past that, there's just a big... no fucking hand railings, no one goes in the piss. What the fuck.

Starting point is 01:03:55 What am I doing here? Wasting my fucking time. So Vulcan's like, yo girl, let me show you the loading docks. And she's like, going along with this. Solo has called in some help, and we see that the security see a parachutist coming down on the lawn, which immediately sets off every alarm Vulcan's like, you know, guards, kill him. Solo, the real Solo, just effortlessly sneaks into the piss room. Because as we see, the parachutist is like a dummy parachutist.

Starting point is 01:04:28 And we get a great, almost straight Leslie Nielsen thriller line, where Vulcan talks to his scientist, Mr. Piss, Mr. Jizz, or whatever, and is like, it's a diversion. Why? To get us away from thi- so he just like, explains what a diversion is. It's very nearly like, it's a big building full of doctors. A diversion? What is that? Well, it's to distract us so we can do something else. But that's not important right now. It's to go to the boiling piss room, and- audience, I cannot stress enough how much this looks like boiling piss. It's just a big, yellow vat

Starting point is 01:05:06 of liquid. It's where they keep the piss! And at this point, I'm not entirely certain what Vulcan's industry is. Because there's a reactor, there's the boiling piss, he's talking about plastics. Yeah, it's business. It's a business factory.

Starting point is 01:05:22 We see the funniest piece of spycraft in this whole movie, which is... So Solo gets out of the room, he gets to the door, the door's locked, there's a goon outside the door. So he knocks on the door, the goon opens it, he like, hustles past him and goes, oh by the way, welcome, why don't you indoors, and like, tries to get past him. Yeah, this is really funny. He's like, in a tuxedo at this point, he's like, yeah, welcome, what's your name, and the goon goes, okay, hey! This lasts

Starting point is 01:05:48 long enough for the second door stuck incident of this movie. Where he just slams the goon in the door and runs. Door stuck! You're a certified dick sucker. Yeah, he makes his way out

Starting point is 01:06:04 and escapes into the pipe maze yeah we get a pretty good I think chasing him through the pipes he meets a mongo extremely briefly I wrote down in caps last minute mongo

Starting point is 01:06:20 a guy a big guy with a pipe just takes a swing at him. The guy brought a pipe to work in the pipes factory, and he tries to take his head off the pipe. That's showing initiative. Oh yeah. And he just dodges it and moves on.

Starting point is 01:06:36 That guy's in one shot. Day one of the pipe factory, I brought my own pipe from home. All of us are like... There's also a great shot, a two shot combination, right, where one of the guards fires a gun at him and we get a zoom in on that guard's face and his hand holding the gun, which makes him look super cool, and then, in the next shot, Solo picks up a small trash can, and like, places it slightly to the left of its previous position, and that same guard runs full force into it and eats absolute shit. It's great.

Starting point is 01:07:12 It's fantastic. So Solo retrieves Elaine, and then they run out to the car, and then we get the twist, because the president of West Natuba is there with a gun, and he's like, like ah you almost foiled my plan um and it's not him who's going to be assassinated it's his two buddies yeah because he's been working for wasp um i've been working for wasp the entire time you're like sphinx um so at this point uh both both elaine and Solo get captured, they put them in some pretty dramatic looking D-shaped handcuffs, and because of- No, no, hang on, we get a phenomenal line, which I'm gonna try to get first try, but

Starting point is 01:07:57 I don't entirely remember which one it is. Come over here, Mr. Solo, you're about to be chained to a pipe. That's, yeah, I also had that. Come over here, Mr. Solo, you're about to be chained to a pipe. That's, yeah, I also have that. Come over here, Mr. Solo. You're about to be chained to a pipe. Come over here, Mr. Solo. TFW, you're about to be chained to a pipe. Keep it early, my dude.

Starting point is 01:08:17 You're about to be chained to a pipe. And that is what happens when they say they chained Solo to a pipe. Chained to the pipe. Nice. So he's going to be fucking sous-vided to death. They're going to googa him with this steam fire. Next to the born guy's guns. Yeah, they're going to cover him in spices

Starting point is 01:08:37 and they're going to sauna him to death. They literally say this to him and he turns to this woman that he's just pulled out of her life He turns to her and is like Yeah sorry about that And she literally is just like Ah them's the breaks

Starting point is 01:08:51 Yeah she says you tried your best The best part is they're both They're both like dangling from their wrists Because they've been chained to this pipe Which looks like excruciatingly painful And she goes don't blame yourself And he goes oh i don't perfect it's just so good it's like ideal it's this random it's like the the like

Starting point is 01:09:11 the sex chance the sex chance number is like low but not impossible at this point um so so the vulcan and the prime minister of western tumba reveal that when they assassinate the other two western tumban dudes uh wasp are gonna like over the country, basically, and they're gonna have a whole country that can have an army and economic power at their disposal. Diplomatic immunity, Mr Bond. Also, we see that because of the sexual betrayal or whatever, Vulcan tries to hit Elaine slightly before this, and Solo punches him instead. Because you don't hit a woman, that's bad.

Starting point is 01:09:47 Which, again, curiously progressive. Another curiously progressive thing, Solo is like, it's sort of, you see where O.S.S. Sandicette is coming from. He is earnestly hurt that the Prime Minister is betraying his new country. And he's like, but we were going to be buddies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. At the UN. He's going to have a table next be buddies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. At the UN. He's gonna have a table next to you,

Starting point is 01:10:08 gonna eat lunch with you at the UN cafeteria. That's right. So they chain them to the pipe, they leave him, to get sous-vided. And Solo immediately, like, using a shit-ton of upper body strength we've never seen him display at any other point, hooks his

Starting point is 01:10:23 legs up onto the pipe, and then tries to like, kick a joint into the part. He is wearing patent leather loafers at this point, and he's just kicking this fucking thing making no impact whatsoever, as the room gets steamier and steamier, and the woman behind him dangling from her wrists gets sweatier and sweatier and I wrote down, is this bondage scene exploitative? And the answer is yes. That's right. But he does ultimately succeed in kicking the thing down.

Starting point is 01:10:54 The fantastic thing about this, by the way, is that after all of this shit, being sous-vided for hours, her eyeshadow is still perfect. She gets upset actually because they do dangle down and Elaine having just been through this traumatic experience

Starting point is 01:11:09 we do get to have actually a nice moment where we see how she feels about this because she says my family never got to see me looking so beautiful last night I'm like you know my outfit's ruined and my makeup's ruined and I have to go back and just be a sort of basic housewife again and

Starting point is 01:11:25 it's actually kind of strange that we have this but it's quite nice it's a little sort of like first wave feminist grievance because she says like all of the like everyone takes me for granted I you know I cook and I clean and I feel invisible and this one time I felt

Starting point is 01:11:42 beautiful and no one even no one saw me except you it's maybe a nice artifact of the fact that that this was originally an hour long and has been extended and i don't i can't tell what's what's been added and what's what was original but it we do get like more sort of character beats than you might expect in like an equivalent james bond film actually um because obviously the stuff that you add in is stuff that's cheap to film and that means dialogue and character moments yeah yeah absolutely um but so he then diffuses this in a sort of like almost sort of killing joke moment where he finds her like missing earring and they both sort of like break down laughing um because women are silly um so at this point he's like

Starting point is 01:12:22 right i've got a plan you're not gonna like what the plan is And she's like, what's the plan? He goes, come over here Mr. Solo, you're about to be Chained to a pipe This is intercut with all of The little men guys like walking Into the fucking boiling piss room And I was there like, okay, we're reaching

Starting point is 01:12:40 The fucking denouement, baby, someone's going to That piss, we're gonna get a doctor Yeah And I'm like, okay, right Okay, we're reaching the fucking 30-year mark, baby. Someone's going to nap his. We're going to get a doctor in a moment. And I'm like, okay, right. He chains her back to the fucking pipe again. Yeah, he's like, you're back on the pipe, though. And she's, like, dangling from the pipe, like, ah.

Starting point is 01:12:55 And I'm like, is this bondage scene exploitative in the movie? He's like, well, maybe. And two guys come in. One of them's wearing the big sort of, like, hazmat asbestos suit. And then we get the first appearance of something which is going to recur so much in this series that my brother and i used to call the uncle chop which is yes which is if you listeners if you ever need to knock someone out stone cold instantly but without killing them what you do is you go behind them and you give them a

Starting point is 01:13:23 perfect light karate chop right between the shoulder blades that's right take some fucking out absolutely out hours a total unconscious immediately just like if someone ever does that to you you have an obligation to society to the world to drama to be perfectly asleep for the next day yeah my brothers and i just we still do that to each other we still just uncle chop each other for no reason. It's uncle chopping a friend so they get a lovely night's sleep. At this point, also, there will be an incredible moment later in the film series where, like,

Starting point is 01:13:56 he tries to uncle chop a mongo and it doesn't work. We'll get there, we'll get there! The man with the iron shoulder blades. Not working is remarkable. Fantastic. So he uncle chops the guy in the hazmat suit, which like covers his face. I'm like, oh, we're doing Dr. No.

Starting point is 01:14:12 He's going to put on the thing. He's going to like walk around until the guy's like, who's that? No, doesn't fucking do that. I'm not changing out of these loafers, you know? Yeah. These fucking sweaty ass steamed suit that he's just wearing He's like, nah, I'm keeping this

Starting point is 01:14:26 I know it smelled crazy in there In the piss room, there is a dial that says danger on it that's going up Why would that be a dial and not a gauge? I wrote down, the piss is reaching danger threshold What are the units of piss danger?

Starting point is 01:14:42 And he's like, to the two guys The two guys he's trying to get killed, he's like, please stand here, touch this metal plate. Um, meanwhile, the Prime Minister is ushered to the side, and as the pressure builds, Solo enters the room, and at the very last second he's like, hey, we need to get out of here, because the piss is gonna explode. Pulls the two of them out of the room, just in time for the piss to perfectly obliterate everything else in that room.

Starting point is 01:15:09 The explosion that happens behind that door looks genuinely frightening. It looks like they overcooked it. A gout of flame shoots through the fucking door that Vorda's trying to hold closed. You're like, Jesus Christ, what fucking stunt guy worked on that yeah yeah did people really die in this like yeah and and you know everyone who isn't um

Starting point is 01:15:33 fucking elaine the two guys that he's rescued or solo is burned to a crisp in this explosion it's it's a weird sort of ending. Wait a fucking minute. The two guys get to mourn their Prime Minister as a hero and a martyr, who died trying to do something good for his country, which was what he was planning to do to them, in some nice irony. And then we get to the part of the movie that I really want to talk about, because it actually really upset me, which is, he puts Elaine back on the plane, they fly back to New York, and he's like, well, it's time for you to go back to being normal.

Starting point is 01:16:18 But as a reward for serving your country, I got you a night out at you know a fancy party yeah it says the the un are having like a like a dinner next week i've got you and your family tickets to it i've arranged a gown i've arranged a hair and makeup artist thank you for serving your country so you can go and you'll look the bomb and your family will be there and you get to have an glamorous evening again. Which I thought was a nice gift. Again, it would instantly fuck someone who did this. And she says, no, thank you. And what she says is, because we have to, this being 1964, of course,

Starting point is 01:16:56 we have to reify motherhood and femininity and all this other stuff. What kind of a world would it be if women could just go around doing things on their own? And so what she says and seemingly means is... Now, I had my big moment last night when I was... Well, maybe something I always dreamed I might be. But it was a dream, a memory.

Starting point is 01:17:15 It has no right to be anything else. It has no right to be anything else. Bullshit! It's so fucking on the nose, and it's like, how many dreams of how many women were suffocated in this manner? It's so grim, and we see her, like, out the window going back to her family, and you're just like, no, I fucking get where- yeah, she might have been in the fucking CIA, but I see where Bessie Friedan came from, you know? Fuck, she probably

Starting point is 01:17:46 got this idea from the CIA, considering the way Uncle do this. Also, I did write in a joke here that's like, well, I had a beautiful dream from what I was last night, chained to a pipe. Well, I mean, we are all very sleepy on this podcast, but at this point she goes, and the air hostess comes and gives the line aren't you getting off Mr. Solo? And then the number on his forehead rises to 1000% and that's the end of the film.

Starting point is 01:18:13 One sex please. Well actually she's like is there anything I can do for you? And he goes we've got an hour in this empty plane before we go back to New York and he's like and we have a freeze frame ending. We have him being like... I like to imagine that the frame after that is like...

Starting point is 01:18:33 It's just slapping him. No, no, it's him being like, I'm not gay. I'm not thinking about boys. Is there anything I can get you? Not a man. No, not a soft, supple femboy. Sits in total silence, ramrods straight into the next hour.

Starting point is 01:18:55 He opens up his laptop, which hadn't been invented yet, and there's the boy mode map on it, and he's like, yes, actually, you could drop me off in Utica. Also, something I need to bring up, because I just caught it in the, I was looking for trivia, and I looked at the cast list, and found out the big guy, the Mongo, that's Richard Kiel.

Starting point is 01:19:16 That's fucking true. I thought it looked like him, but I gaslit myself out of it. I was like, it can't be. It surely can't be. That's how he lost his teeth! He survived the explosion! In the pipes factory! Really? Oh my god, Richard Kiel! I love to see it, fantastic. So anyway, he's

Starting point is 01:19:40 not gay, is the thing about Cylon. No, he's not gay. He is telepathic. And Elaine goes back to her humdrum existence. Oh my god, he the thing about Cylon. No, he's not gay. He is telepathic. And Elaine goes back to her humdrum existence. Oh my god, he's like looking good in that. Yeah, it's handsome Richard Gale. I'm very impressed. Oh, sorry. It's strange to see him without huge fucked up teeth.

Starting point is 01:19:54 What does this movie say about masculinity? And why is it women are always sexually available to you? They actually love it when you... It's primarily that. mean i'm i'm i'm comparing this to the connery ones but it's nice that he doesn't punch a woman if anything he punches a man for trying to punch a woman which is better uh telepathy is real i mean if you look here's here's my thing right if you look at the contemporaries of this film this is 1964

Starting point is 01:20:28 so it came out the same year as Goldfinger a movie in which Sean Connery correctively rapes a lesbian and this one is just like I mean it's fucking nothing like it like to consider it in the time

Starting point is 01:20:43 I'm earnestly like a little bit impressed yeah i mean he does compare women to pieces of meat and he does like so but like this could be a lot worse within its context this is strangely progressive and that's an incredibly depressing thing oh yeah to realize to be like oh yeah this is progressive in that it's like well women women can have nice lives as a dream, and then they gotta go back. You have to go back to your regular shit. It's probably why Ian Fleming

Starting point is 01:21:11 dropped out of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Progressive shit out of my sight. I can't stress enough how much that upset me. Just to be like, yeah, you can have your nice thing, but you still have to have dinner on the table. It's unacceptable. But we do have a way of quantifying this formally, scientifically.

Starting point is 01:21:29 It's called the UNCLE scheme. And it stands for... Oh, sorry, before we do that, there's one other thing I want to mention which I meant to check back on. And it's the most insane fucking bit of dialogue ever. It's right back at the start when the WASP agents break into

Starting point is 01:21:45 Uncle Headquarters and the second alarm goes off. In the following scene, we learn the reason for this, which is that apparently the receptionist has a special chemical on her fingers so when she hands you the security

Starting point is 01:22:02 badge and then you go through the scanner, the alarm doesn't go off. But if you take the badge and then you go through the scanner the alarm doesn't go off but if you take the badge and she doesn't touch it then the alarm goes off and I'm like what it's like a fantastic security measure to add to the fucking doriso chips unbelievable

Starting point is 01:22:19 I didn't want to let this film go without just highlighting that piece of absolutely insane fucking nonsense sci-fi because that's where we're going to go further listeners fantastic I can't wait I couldn't think of a funny acronym for uncle here so I'm just going back to scum the scum system

Starting point is 01:22:36 so for smum cultural insensitivity unprovoked violence and misogyny well we'll say uncle and then we'll dub it over with scum yeah scum system Yeah, yeah. Scum. We have a science-based rating system on this podcast. It's called the Scum Spectrum.

Starting point is 01:22:54 The man from Scum. It cuts away from his face so you can't tell, but in doing so makes it much more obvious. Alice is like firing up a slide projector now so we're just going... That's right. I'm so excited Alice is like, firing up a slide projector now, so we're just going, That's right.

Starting point is 01:23:07 I'm so excited to have started a new series with you two. Yeah, me too! Me too. Me too. Kill Napoleon solo begins now. So, knowing the answer... Smarm. 7, 10, 25...

Starting point is 01:23:23 This man is a walking golem of smarm it's all in the eyebrows it's all fucking up there it's good to be back with like a 60s motherfucker I feel like I feel like I want to go like 5 or 6

Starting point is 01:23:40 I don't think it's like full because I think he could get worse I want to give him space to get worse yeah I want to go for a 5 here he does manage to be sort of earnest in a smug way cultural insensitivity

Starting point is 01:23:55 I think lower than I expected it's genuinely it is like a sort of optimistic liberal thing that's like you you know, one nation brotherhood. On the other hand, it does, the first lesson of the movie is that Italian women are untrustworthy skanks, which we don't appreciate.

Starting point is 01:24:17 We do also have somebody referring- I personally respect all Italian women. We do have, like, an African Asian being referred to as primitive. Yep. That's true. That is very true. But for the time, three yeah yeah yeah because i think like that discussion of um the actual intricacies of like colonialism and like investment and stuff i was like wow that would be like even sort of remarkable now if that was in the film yeah yeah it's not nothing

Starting point is 01:24:40 yeah totally but it's it's not anything like how bad it could have been. So three... It passes some sort of post-colonial version of the Beck Delta, where a black character talks to another black character about a country that's predominantly black people in a way that doesn't really speak to white people, which I quite like. Yeah, so I'm happy with a three. Now, unprovoked violence... Not a lot, they go out of their way to not kill people, actually.

Starting point is 01:25:11 Even wasps don't do that. Solo shoots a couple of guys dead. In the TV series, this was like, sleep darts or whatever, but we get a shot cut of a guy like, floating face down in some water. But I think those are the only bodies on this movie. Usually not piss. Yeah. We don't even...

Starting point is 01:25:29 I'm so mad about the piss. It's such a cock tease with the piss thing, it's ridiculous. It's fucked up. I was like, chanting at the end, like, my notes just earnestly, like, the last five notes I have are just like, boiling piss room, no handrails The piss is reaching danger threshold Put someone in the piss to exclamation marks And then fuck's sake When the piss room exploded with no piss

Starting point is 01:25:51 What do you think? It could be a one Even I'm struggling to think of any moments When he did the little run around jog at the start That guy had a gun God you better believe that's gonna be the promo yeah it's only it's only the bad guys i guess i guess the closest thing to unprovoked violence

Starting point is 01:26:13 is the uncle chop like they were good also that's true uncle chop knocks you out it doesn't kill you well exactly exactly so i think it's a 1. I am marking down number of Uncle Chops per movie, though. I'm putting a single tie here. Nice. So, misogyny. Seven. Yes. At a minimum, at a minimum, I'm afraid.

Starting point is 01:26:35 The bit where he fucking stands her up in front of the mirror and is like, simply afraid to look nice is fucking... Something else. Something fucking bad. It's genuinely atrocious. This movie is reprehensible. And, you know, we get one... Well, no, we get...

Starting point is 01:26:56 Okay. We get two women who get agency over their own shit. Like, who get to be secret agents. And they're both primarily like in terms of like sexuality in terms of using their sexuality one of them gets hoist by her own petard and the other one is like locked in a fucking bird cage ready for for napoleon to come back to new york and fuck her it's um like in a meat locker almost yeah it Yeah. It's not good! The way that she has to go back at the end. The way that she has to go.

Starting point is 01:27:28 It's really fucking sad, you know? It's like if you made a movie, and I'm sure there are movies like this, but it's like if you made a movie about, like, a trans person, where the moral was, just repress it! It's really fucking grim! It's not good. I think seven at a minimum, I could push it to eight, to be honest, because that repress it, it's really fucking grim. I think 7 at a minimum I could push it to 8, because that is real bad.

Starting point is 01:27:50 Yeah, for sure. Yeah, 8. Okay, okay. In that case, that gives us a total score of I'm so tired. 17. Here's the thing thing we're all sleeping

Starting point is 01:28:05 17 which is pretty good it's the same as Doctor No which is quite nice it's the same as Moonraker as Living Daylights so same as Patriot Games

Starting point is 01:28:21 so yeah it's like a pretty good pretty solid middle of the road score for a brand new series I'm so excited for this I'm so glad you guys let me bring this I'm so glad that it's done well because yeah my brother and I are just such big fans of this

Starting point is 01:28:38 yeah yeah yeah all in the 60s as well we never get to the 70s these all came out in the 60s at some point we will have to have my brother on the podcast. Yeah, love to. I'm so happy to be back in the bad decade where we have some things to say about how things were bad. But right now, of course, we're all very tired.

Starting point is 01:28:58 Our uncle's going to go sleepy-bye forever. So if I can just sort of arrange this, if we can like, stand in sort of like a circle, and on three, if we all perfectly uncle chop each other in the middle of the shoulder blades. So one, two, three. Oh. Oh, god. Sorry. Just woke up um how you doing good morning everyone that was to catch a spy tune in in two weeks time on the free feed for the next episode of Kill Napoleon Solo which is

Starting point is 01:29:48 The Spy With My Face 1965. Of course if that's too long for you to wait do not even start to worry because in one week's time also on the feed, thanks to the winter of content, it's The Lives of Others, which is an Alice pick, if you can tell already. Now, of course, it's not necessary to give us any money to get the entire lot of content that we're going to be producing over this winter, but some people still do,

Starting point is 01:30:24 and it would be frankly rude of me not to thank by name our £15 and above patrons, and those are Christine Fox, Amanda Comet, Fawkes Winchester, Gustavo Lira, Jack Holmes, Paint McCalla, Thomas Oberhardt, Nick Boris, Jarek, Nate Amore, Harriet deGog, Corios, the Commissar formerly known as Jen, Library Hitman, Beef Crime, Benno Rice, Jonathan Gerdes, Callan, Bernie, Max Gamenhart, Jack Drummond, Kit Devine, Kentucky Fried Commie, Jay Martindale, Hellblood Hands, Lisa Mage, Jonathan Siegel, Tarp O, Big Titty Goth Girl, Mothman, George Rohack, Trip, Harrison Fuller, Charlie Outta the Closet, Alex, a trans robot, Zoe Shepherd, Turf Seat Shit and Die Alone,

Starting point is 01:31:12 Elizabeth Cox, Danny Potter, The Femboy a Spy. And that's so appropriate and you couldn't have possibly known how appropriate that is to the episode that we've just recorded. And Finn Ross. Gil James Bond is Alice, Abigail, and Devin. Our producer is the wonderful Naipa Thay. Our podcast art is by Maddy Lubchansky. And our website is by Tom Allen. See ya.

Upstream - S2E12: To Trap A Spy

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