Upstream - S2E1.5: Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro [UNLOCKED]
Episode Date: June 14, 2022The gang are joined once again by the wonderful Shannon Strucci- editor, podcast host, video essayist, and foremost Lupin III scholar that we happen to know- to discuss Hayao Miyazaki's directorial de...but; the 1979 animated movie 'Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro'. You can find Shannon at https://twitter.com/plentyofalcoves and https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh9DnjvObUcvvwrYbJ4-cLQ You can also listen to their real play podcast, Critical Bits, at https://twitter.com/CriticalBitCast AND, you can also listen to them on the 'fight together' miniseries at https://twitter.com/OnePiecePodcast While you are listening to this episode for free due to the Banquet of Forgiveness, you can still head on over to our Patreon to find many, many more bonus episodes, including one with Shannon! https://www.patreon.com/killjamesbond *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/  Find us at https://killjamesbond.com and https://twitter.com/killjamesbond
Transcript
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Go boy, chill out before you burn yourself!
Hello and welcome to another episode of Kill James Bond.
I am Alice Gordwock-Hally, joining me as always,
a rabbit-girl- Thorn and Devon.
And we're joined by returning champion Shannon Strucci.
How's it going?
I'm so excited to be back.
You got us to see the castle of Caliostro,
another loop on movie.
A much better one, I think.
Not to just shit on the first, but I think like objectively.
This is like, Hi-Miazaki's first feature film, right?
That's right.
Like 1979.
I guess we can just get straight into it.
If you're not familiar with the character
of the franchise of Loop 1 and 3,
go back and listen to our previous episode
where a loop on me is Hitler.
And you know, it loop on me is Hitler.
And you know, it just gets me that way.
Yeah, I was sad that this film didn't feature
Adolf Hitler, who's one of my favorite side characters
in the loop on the third franchise.
You're talking about Adolf Hitler.
Ah!
Don't worry, this is about continuity
because the continuity of loop on the third
is a little bit kind of, yeah, you see,
it's kind of vague at all over the place, but we have Shannon on,
because Shannon is one of the worlds foremost loop on the third scholars.
From the Institute of Advanced Loop on the Third Studies.
Yes, it's a Boston University Cypherum Lehigh.
And the dub that we listened to for this is not the original, because the original that came out
in 1992 was apparently not good.
What we got was the manga entertainment dub, which has now other than David Hater as a living
which means I can only hear him as solid snake. I can only hear him as solid snake. So I will be
referring to him as solid snake the whole time. But we did watch the dubs rather than the subs
because listeners, as you know, this is a podcast that refuses to go entirely Japanese.
That's right.
That's right.
And also because we have to do drops.
And if I just do the drops in Japanese,
then they're not very satisfying
unless you speak Japanese.
But so solid snake we begin with him and his friend,
Jigun, robbing a casino in Monte Carlo.
Yeah, poison on tour.
The lads, the fellas.
And let me tell you, this is like whip crack fast
in terms of what it sets out in the opening.
It is, they rob the casino in two shots.
The casino is robbed when the movie starts.
They're just leaving.
They're escaping a shitty little yellow car.
Yes, the silly little, the silly little fear 500s.
Everybody's like, anytime anyone's in it,
their knees are pressed right up against their chest,
because it's so small, it's perfect.
And they've sabotaged all the henchmen's cars.
Yeah, we see what kind of thief Lupon is,
because he has fixed it so that when the henchmen's cars. Yeah, we see what kind of thief Lupon is because he has fixed it so that when the henchmen try
to chase them, all of the wheels come off of their cars
and he's left a note for them to open.
It's a little bit of notes that must have taken forever
to go car by car instead of.
But we see later, he has like a full on calling card
and he really like, invests a lot in his graphic design
and his like, henmanship and stuff. But so they robbed this casino and then they realize that the proceeds are
goat bills, which are a form of fake currency that counterfeit cash.
That's right. They're counterfeits so good that they've fooled the government.
And for that reason, they're worthless and they decided to dump it.
I feel like, if the government accepts it,
that's real money, baby.
That's money, that's legal, turned out.
Also, Lupon's like, we should go and source
of these fake bills and then we'll be rich.
I'm like, but then all you're gonna get
is more fake bills, man.
Yeah.
But they, they, they, they, they, they, they,
they do it, dog. You know, you don't spend the fake bills, you manufacture and sell them.
You can't get high on your own supply.
That's true.
So we get some beautiful opening titles, like really visually arresting.
But then, Jugen and Lufan will have to infiltrate the micro-nation of Kali-Ostra.
Yeah, it's a San Marino.
San Marino, by way, of Luxembourg
and that it's got a grand duke,
it's got like 3,000 people in it.
Oh, also, when we say the opening titles,
they're beautiful.
Listen, this film, I think, as we mentioned,
was Haya Meazaki's first cinematic release.
Haya Meazaki's the guy behind Studio Ghibli,
if you know them.
So that's
why this film looks really, really beautiful. That's kind of one of the only things that has
going for it. Oh, it's all get into gorgeous. Yeah, there's a lot of heebly DNA in it, namely,
you can see all of the influences that it's had. And the problems, yes. Yes.
and the problems, yes. Yes, yes.
So in disguise, they infiltrate Kali Astrojig
and as dressed as podcaster Justin Rosniak
at the border.
But so they infiltrate the country
and they just go for a nice drive on the countryside
and we get this beautiful shot of them
in the shitty little fear with the ash tray overflowing,
the entire back of the
car is filled with cup noodles and tinned fish. And it's just, it's really nice. These
are the strongest parts of the movie. Yeah, it's all the little things that really
sell, but not only are these two great friends, but they've been doing this for ages and
ages, because there's so many tiny things that the entire way through the opening titles,
it's like little vignettes of them like camping, like making food. And then when the car breaks down,
they both wordlessly and immediately start playing rock paper scissors to decide who was going to fix the car.
And it's so like, it's so well done because obviously you have to introduce the audience
to these characters as quickly as possible.
And it's really good at doing that.
Really self-suffering.
So they can then spend the rest of the film like fucking around.
This is the thing that Cedia give me movies is they all start really, really strong me.
But then because they're about the visuals from other than the story, they fade out.
So it's always just like, oh, where are you?
It goes to a mining town on the edge of an enchanted wood
where spirits of this is a movie.
Yes, spirit it away in particular is a movie.
Yeah.
The die room goes, gets transported to a magical world of spirits
where she has to move, move, move.
Guy shows up, he gets really big, and then they wash him,
and then he's that friend again.
They gotta wash the guy.
They gotta wash the guy. They gotta wash the guy.
A young girl becomes the housekeeper to a wizard
and a moving castle that says,
does, don't worry about it.
Yeah.
So I just say too, in the intro,
I've seen this, I've seen this,
been watching this movie,
like since I was a teenager probably since I was like 14,
was the first time I saw it.
When they're driving at the beginning
without the counterfeit money in the car,
if you look closely,
Goymon is just in the back seat, covered in money.
You can see just a little bit of the back of his head.
You see that?
Yeah.
You can't notice.
It's really hard to notice,
but he's just covered in money.
And you can see the,
they're like,
that's so many little details like that in this movie.
It's so funny.
The first time I saw that,
I was like, oh my God,
they just buried him.
And I'm like,
there's one of the cars when they escape Monaco,
it just like falls perfectly in half.
And I was like, well, that's a go-mong thing,
but I didn't see the eye at all.
We should introduce, we should reintroduce Lupon's boys here.
Yeah, he has two main guys.
Jiggen, whose vibe is, how do we describe Jiggen's vibe
other than being very good at shooting things?
He's gay.
Uh, James Cobra and the Magnificent Seven.
Yes, silly.
His character is based on, like, hats real down,
who's like always smoking right up to the filter.
His reputation as a misogynist is legendary.
That's right, yes.
As one of the dub lines, has it.
LAUGHTER
And, uh, Bachelor here. it. And the bachelor here.
Yeah.
And go on is, well, a samurai.
It was just around, just along for the ride.
Anyway.
Yeah, he has a sword that can cut through anything.
And as we remember from the film,
loop on the third, the first, his Zen Taskin is a Rhea
Saken, that memorable phrase that we all know what it means.
Hold it.
I was like, oh, shit.
I was so happy this movie had a good dub
that I was like, I like this stuff.
The dub of the first I was like,
okay, we can watch that I guess if we need to.
So six minutes and 12 seconds in
and the movie has to do the thing
because we're starting out strong.
The thing of every loop on movie
which is the silly little card goes fast piano music thing.
Yes.
Because we see a woman in a wedding dress,
drive past in a Citroen 2CV being pursued by Goons.
Oh, perfect Goon car.
Yeah, we set off into a great chase scene
where they try to shoot out the tires and that doesn't work.
And they end up driving up the side of a cliff.
It's fantastic.
It's just beautiful as well.
It's so charming.
We animated the way the car jumps around.
And so, Luke won rescues this woman in the bridal dress.
However, in the course of this, they both go over a cliff together.
And we meet Clarisse, who is not a character.
Clarice, yeah, just sort of present.
It's a shame.
All she does in this movie is this noise.
For like an hour.
There is a decent proportion of this movie
that is just, and I hate that convention of like,
girl noises, right?
I hate it wherever it comes from.
It was in fucking on her majesty's secret service, too.
Where it's like,
Oh, you can't even be fuck to give this woman fucking dialogue.
Instead, you just like,
Oh, I just made some genders.
She doesn't have a serious case of anime girl voice. And I'm, I'm emailing Chloe's being like, oh, I just made some of the others. Ah. She does have a serious case of anime girl voice.
And I'm, I'm emailing Chloe's name, like, yo,
do you have any tips on voice training?
Yeah.
Because all of her lines are just like,
have a account, have a positive nature
trying to Skype for the gods of it.
And I'm like, what?
Yeah.
No, no.
That you were like, you were like,
you were like, what?
I'm like, every time she's on screen and, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Lesson, one of the sort of originators or whatever of Moa culture.
And Clarice and Lupon Dojins were pretty popular.
She's 14.
Oh, I wouldn't.
Well, she's definitely under in the original version
that he calls the count, Alalacon.
She's definitely underage.
I did know a bit.
I was like, oh, I guess she's like 20s.
It might have changed it for the dub a little bit.
She's definitely like a girl. Oh, yeah
No, she's gonna be like underage
Again every time behind the paywall we do peter failure
No, it's the- No, we're not.
Don't forgive me.
No, we're not.
The shit goes out.
Fuck.
Hang on, wait, let's see if I have, I feel like I even have the Peter Philly that dropped
me one second, yeah.
In a way is that whenever we're behind the table, we almost do accidental Peter Philly
there.
It's of course from Alex Ryder Stormbreaker.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
So, okay.
So, Lou von gets knocked unconscious.
And in the course of this, Clarice like mobs his brow with a handkerchief and smuggles
her wedding ring, her engagement ring, I guess, into this and leaves it with him.
And he instantly makes the signal on it.
It's like a herald at Graham.
But he kind of like gives out that he does not know what it is.
She gets recaptured. Yeah, she gets recaptured. And Lupin and Jue are going to left to like
pick up the pieces and go and go and find, well, first they find the Grand Jucal Palace,
which is in ruins.
One or two nerds here. The first one is phenomenal crank, Foley.
When he's lowering himself down, it's just like one of the most perfect hand crank noise I've
heard in my life. The sound design in this is really good. Yeah.
The the Duchy of Cagliostra is approximately 70% lake. Yes, by weight.
It's mostly lakeed in the rest of it is like Alp.
It's very evocative.
And like a truly incredible castle.
Like, that's, that's Ghibli, maybe it's a castle
that's fucked up.
It's perfect.
Yeah.
We see, this is what fiction is.
It's about castles that are fucked up.
Now, the original English title is castles that are fucked up. And we see original English title.
It's the castle that's fucked up.
Castle in the sky, moving castle,
castle is fucked up.
Castle doctrine is perfect.
We see two castles that are fucked up in quick succession.
We see the press down Grand Duke's castle,
where it's like, oh, the Duke and the Duchess
died in a fire years ago, leaving only their door
to behind to one off to a convent. and this is not foreshadowing at all.
And then immediately over the next, like cresting a hill,
like fucking two forts, is the second more fucked up castle,
the castle of Caliostra.
Yeah, why'd you put it next to each other, man?
It's not a huge country.
It's a tiny country, yeah.
A little baby country.
I love that guy, the exposition man walking by with a ladder for no reason.
Yeah, you watch this movie.
He's like, hello, let me explain our history to you.
I think my route is an NPC here.
Pretty much every character in this is exposition guy at one point or another.
Yeah, so they find this old guy who's a groundskeeper in the Burntown Pass. The character in this is exposition guy at one point or another.
Yeah, so they find this old guy who's a groundskeeper in the Burntown Pass
and I was like, oh yeah, okay, I've seen a movie before.
This is quite clearly like the stifle guy.
This is the dude, he's not really dead.
Like he's a father and it's going to be a man.
And then the end of the movie is like, no.
No, that guy actually just was the groundkeep.
Yeah, he's just stood outside the Burntown Castle
with like an exclamation point over his head. And Lufan goes and gets a board, put chickens like the ground
you died, right? He's your king. So who runs this place? And he goes, there's a region and then leaves.
Yeah, it's like, don't worry about it. It's a region. He's 20 foot that way.
So Castle Caliostra is like, noise fanstein, but in a lake and with an aqueduct on either
sign.
Oh, you're really good.
It's a real fairy tale castle.
It's got the very pointy roofs and everything.
And Lupon tried to break in 10 years ago and got owned.
Yes.
Yeah, but he's still lying.
He's still like, I don't know what's going on.
And what happens at this point, I do appreciate is, you can just put some in arm, Jail. You just like, you can check know what's going on. And what happens at this point, I do appreciate it, is you can just put some in arm jail.
You just like,
you can check in with his homies
and he checks in through the expedient
of sitting down next to him
and then putting him in a headlock
and going, what's wrong bud, come on.
You are lying to me, stop lying to me, we are friends.
Explain what is explaining.
You check in on his bloke, that's right.
Yes, yeah.
And so Lupon explains that he tried to rob a place 10 years earlier. Yeah. He got this shit. Yeah.
Yeah. Got a shit kicked in. Actually, we see this later. He got Jason Bond.
He got shot in the back a couple of times, meant to fell into a body of water.
Like weird arrows. Yeah. Yeah.
Because he got Jason Bond. Jason Bond. of times, men fell into a body of water. Like weird arrows. Yeah. That's right.
He got Jason Bond.
Um, Jason Bond.
That's the best of us.
At this point, at this point, they go to get a room.
They get to, uh, the inn where Lupon immediately curves on the waitress.
While she's doing exposition, she's like, oh, yeah, I bet you're here for the wedding
between Clarice and the count of Calliostro who's a notorious playboy.
And Lupon goes,
The count's got a reputation as a playboy.
Playboy.
Just like me.
Now, how about a smooch?
Huh?
Ah!
Ah!
You!
Ah!
This is...
She's into it!
I don't know.
It looks like a team.
Yeah, but she's...
See, how are you getting this? It's not good. I don't. I'm in. Yeah, but she's. See how long are you getting this?
It's not good.
It's truly not good.
Compared to most Lupon stuff where he is just like a psycho,
like, Riepas.
Yeah.
It's Miyazaki's version.
He can only tone it down so much, I guess.
That's the thing.
It's weird because I'm not.
Studio is going to complain if he's not at least a bit non-sie.
Yeah.
Something. It's tradition.. Yeah, that's something.
In tradition.
I mean, here's the thing, right.
Their vibe on Lupon, I don't think they really figured out quite what it was, because
in a lot of ways, it's more PG than any other Lupon thing.
It's, he's much more chivalrous, he's much more altruistic, barely steals anything.
Fugico's breasts are like the size of breasts.
Yeah, they've nerfed Fujiko's portion.
Rather than like her head.
Not watermelon.
But, um, yeah, but he's still, you know, still a bit like this.
Anyway, so.
Well, we also see that the count is, uh, is a bad guy.
He's holding, uh, Clarice prisoner.
He realizes that her ring is gone.
The way that he's that her ring is gone.
The way that he's introduced is so fucking good.
Sick nasty. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
He gets out of his auto gyro.
At one point, Jiggen literally goes,
Ghibli.
Yeah, I don't know anyone's still flu auto gyros.
And it's like, yeah, no, this guy does.
That's his five.
Welcome to Japan, Dad.
Yeah, that's right.
That's another bit of Ghibli DNA
is a funny little flying vehicle.
So it's good through that's near to you. He's a funny little boat too, but he's getting out and
he's being briefed by his evil butler and he's also being undressed by him and at no point during
this does he stop walking. He's just slightly above walking pace as well. It's so fruity, Jordan.
He gets his trousers taken off him, and he doesn't break stride doing this.
It's incredible.
But so I guess we should talk about the count two.
The count vibe is sort of smug.jpeg.
He spends approximately like 90% of his screen time just walking menacingly
a slightly above an average walking pace to various locations in the castle.
Yes. Yeah. So his plan makes no fucking sense.
It's just he's evil European so he needs to do incest.
Yeah, sure. Get rid of the whole, that's the plot of the movie. He says that's count. Well, while he's on his way to go visit Clarisse, he passes by a single other female character,
which at this point, if you're familiar with this, you'll go, as Fujiko.
That's Fujiko, me and her.
This is a librarian.
They've held on this character for slightly too long.
Woman detected.
Oh, I think I have a drop for this. Hold on.
A woman? A woman?
Why do we both have soundboards?
We both pulled the save.
A woman?
So, we have our first conversation,
which is entirely based on evil laughter versus woman noise.
Where we come to understand the plot that's happening here
is that she is being married to Count Caliostro
against her will in order to unite the two houses
of Caliostro and retrieve a great treasure.
Right.
Which I mean, okay, so also he needs a ring for some reason, but doesn't, I mean, you could
have got that.
Why do you need to marry her to get the ring?
It's my first question.
Secondly, what is the treasure worth?
Thirdly, you aren't either head of state and also like have an infinite supply of fake money
because you probably was like, what treasure do you need?
Like, what none of it makes sense.
I wrote down at this point,
the treasure's gonna be some like a bullshit metaphor, isn't it?
And I was wrong.
Nope.
So it's a random thing.
Yeah, it's fine.
Yeah, it's unclear what he's gonna do
when he gets the ring.
Because he could,
hey, he could just take it off of Ingrid any point.
Yeah.
He says evil European.
He has to do in such,
like, there's something like fundamentally,
like, disgusting and evil about the character.
But he just didn't even do that.
He's an entire character.
He's like, there's something fundamentally disgusting
and evil about Europeans.
And I don't.
And you're right to say it.
In anime, there is.
That's right.
So, we've detected you're listening to a free bonus episode for the banquet of forgiveness
on Kyojaim's Bond.
Now it is Marbikoad for now, but next month these are going to go back to being paid only.
So if you want to keep listening to bonus episodes You're gonna have to head on down to kill James Bond atryon.com slash kill James Bond
And so I'm now for like five and a month
It's pretty good deal soap
And fucking kiss me look beautiful
So lufa and juggen have gone to bed and at this point their room is infiltrated by ninja
So you're a Pian ninja European yeah ninja brackets Italian this point, their rumors infiltrated by Ninja. So, yeah, European Ninja.
European, yeah, Ninja brackets Italian.
What I'm making, I guess, explosives in the hotel room.
Yeah, yeah.
Because his little like beakers out and says, little glasses.
And so they fight them, but they're wearing armor
that the Ninja are.
And so they are unable to like be, be shot or be beaten.
But so far the vibe here is still like romp, right?
Like, where is there like threat, right?
No, other than the count himself being like a little rapy.
When the ninja come in, like both of them are like,
I thought it was gonna be boring, this is fun,
this is a good time now.
And they escape.
At this point, we have to, we have to drag in the other characters.
That's right, baby. Someone sends a fucking signal flare up and the two boys arrive.
Yeah. Who did and hollered when I saw the boy number one go on. Yeah. Who is he? He is present.
Who is Jay? He is present. He doesn't like understand why Lupon is like interested in a woman, but he's you know he's he's here anyway. And also inspectors and a gator. Oh boy. We get to a problem that I have with this movie, which is everybody talks an exposition. And so Lupon, a guy who has been like, this guy is nemesis for most of the,
both of their working lives,
looks at a guy that he knows very well
through a telescope and says to no one.
Good old Zenny Gata, devoted archetypal Japanese worker.
I'm always describing my friends, is the thing.
Yeah, I'm always in it.
I'm always like, ah, there's Alice,
transgender podcaster.
That's right, yeah.
There's Devon.
Ha ha ha ha.
I got Gundams, you know?
Oh, by the way, we also, we see that the count
is responsible for all the fake money.
He's got a printing press in the basement,
and he prints the fake money. Which why? Yeah printing press in the basement. He prints the fake money.
Which why?
Yeah, you think you're the head of state, dude.
You can, like, all the money that you print is fake.
That's how currency works.
Whatever.
You just infinite money.
The shop where Goemon and Zenek are to arrive
is baffling but fantastic.
Because it's like pissing it down a drain.
There is a horse-drawn, like, cart arriving. It's like aing it down of rain. There is a horse drawn like cart arriving.
It's like a covered cart full of barrels
and going when it's sat on the back of it
and just passing him is a police cart.
And I see both of these things and I go,
oh, oh!
When I saw Go-Man, I hooted like an owl
and when I saw Zenigar I honked like a goose.
Like, oh it's just like, let's go baby.
It's the boy.
We should also talk about Jiggen's response
his problem solving thing here,
which is upon being confronted with an enemy wearing
like a light suit of armor,
he is immediately escalated to bringing an anti-tank rifle.
It's, yeah.
Where did you get that man?
He does this twice. He does this twice.
He does this twice during the fucking opening car chase.
He shoots at the tire and it doesn't go out and then loads a large bullet in.
Now this guy shoots this guy, it doesn't kill him.
He's like, get the fucking anti-tank gun.
Where was he keeping this in the tiny car?
He spends the rest of the movie holding this gun.
But it's like he's high.
Yeah, he's so pleased of that.
He loves it.
He's on a zipline at one point, carrying it, right?
This day.
So we see Zena got to go in and sort of generally
making nuisance of himself and the way
that we've come to expect, which is
poke around looking for Lupon.
Uncover a bunch of the countermeasures to Lupon,
which are like lasers and shes.
Oh, also the recent set of Gunners here is because Lupon
center calling card to the count saying,
hello, I'm the famous thief Lupon the third,
and I'm going to steal your brain.
He loves to do it.
He does, he does, but this is a tactic on his part.
Yeah, he's trying to summons Enigada with this. Yeah, he's trying to summon Zennigata with this.
Yeah, he's like setting his enemies against each other.
We also see that Kaliostro and his, his goon,
his chief goon who's just a big German.
Yes, yes, Gustav, yes.
Yeah.
Gustav, Gustav does not want Zennigata there.
He also has racist towards him.
He has extremely racist, poor Zenegarza in this movie.
Gustav literally calls him an oriental and then Zenegarza says,
right, you are an salute him. It's fucking such a little piss.
That's not even like a dub thing. That's in the subtitles with the original as well.
Like, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, so Z Zenny God is like, all right, let me look around and Count Caliostro is like,
no, we've got huge dudes here, and then a huge dude arrives.
He shows them around, and then when Gustav leaves, a second huge dude arrives.
But this guy is on Zenny God aside, and I wrote, all these dudes are so big.
I'm like a kid in a candy shop.
It's a big day for big shoulder muscles.
It's a big day for dudes.
Every day in my house, baby.
Let's go.
So, we see Lupon and Jiggen try to infiltrate through the aqua duck.
They have to like swim in.
That's fine, that's cute.
Yeah.
And Lupon gets washed away and he has to to get swept up through a big series of clockwork
cogs.
I thought it was an illusion to modern times, the Charlie Chaplin movie, but I could be
wrong.
But he has to platform his way through all of these.
Is any got to just sense is that he's there?
Yeah, he's like looking, he's eating ramen noodles and he's like, wait, and he
wants over and almost catches him.
He notices something.
The windmill has slowed down and is like, what's that windmill do?
And I like it raises order into the captain.
And he's like, where's it go?
There's a guy in there.
I know for a fact my man isn't that.
He gets pulled away at the most.
Which shows you, but my god, these guys have been doing this for like decades.
It's really good.
That's like one of the things that I like that it shows rather than
tells is that this is sort of like late career Lufan who's been at it for a while.
Everybody's sick of every day.
Well, not a thing he's been doing it 10 years.
Yeah.
So he says in the phone.
So Zana Gasser gets pulled away by a phone call because Count Caliostro is trying to
use political pressure to pull Interpol
off the case.
You want Lupon to come to him, bring him in the ring back and then he's going to kill
him and take the rings and pull off the marriage.
The case here, of course, being nothing.
Yes.
The case being I have received a piece of paper that says Lupon on it.
And the full might of the Japanese police have arrived still of this.
So Lupon disguises himself as Zenigata, a thing that he loves to do. He does.
All the time. They don't let Zenigata back into the castle and he leaves in a half.
And then Lupon disguises as Zenigata, shows up and goes, oh, was I just here?
That was Lupon. That was Lupon. Fantastic. He loves this bit. He loves to do it.
It's his favorite thing in the world. Yeah.
There's some cute shots of Loupon just with the eyelashes too.
Some reason he like takes part of the mascot, but he's got some he got his eyelashes.
What's really funny is that like we get to the one of my favorite phenomena here, which is cops are a compressible fluid.
They do this so well. Yeah. And so what what will happen is you have a staircase and
a sort of a fluid of big German dudes will come down it and a fluid of Japanese cops will come
up it and they will just meet and it's perfect. Usually Zennigata is in the middle.
There's like dead bodies on the stairs. It's just like a globule of violence halfway out the
and Leopold's cackling and running. Perfect. I do.
And then we see the real Zennigata gets dropped through a trap door that takes a Polaroid of you as your fighter
Which is so good that's such a flex to be like are you falling into my trap
And now I also have a keep sake of the moment when you got out
Like Kaliose just has like a board where he puts all
where he puts all the buttons and he's like, I'm sorry, I'm fucking old.
Like, canonically, this has happened dozens
if you're hundreds of times, and he just has those.
Like Tiger Tanaka did.
Yeah, yeah, great.
So so Lou von there, Tiger did.
Infiltrates, infiltrates the like,
himmetically sealed tower where Clarice is being kept.
Oh, he also finds Fidget God.
Yeah, there's, there's's a bit just prior where after Zenigara has fallen down, Lupon is clinging to the roof
via Lupon physics, which he does a lot in the next couple of minutes.
And like, Jotos at the ghost, this fucker.
Yeah, the eagle motherfucker.
Yeah, this eagle look an ass guy.
This eagle situation, he rolls on in.
And like, we see him turn the head of the statue to sort of deactivate the trap and then go down
after Gustav to be like, you have been bamboozled, my friend, you have been
thrown into him.
You get to bamboozled in his town.
And Gustav, he goes down and like the violence is sort of like in the the late party era where like most people are sat down
There's a bit of violence still happening
But not really Gustav is holding two dudes one on a shoulder and one under his other arm
And he's just receiving instruction from
Is like you've been tricked and he's just holding two guys like you're sorry
And then immediately they also get down the trapdoor Yeah, they get owned is great. Oh, I'm not even talking to you guys, I'm just like, sorry. And then immediately they also get down the trap door.
Yeah, they get owned.
It's great.
It's like a sick.
So Lupon has to parkour up.
And there's a fun scene with the really intensely pointed
roofs where he's fucking having to try and slide over these.
But he makes his way over into the tower, where Clarla Roses, and we get a conversation which is undercut
on two levels, one by the voice acting and two by the music,
where he's like, I'm gonna rescue you, I'm a thief,
you should trust in me because I'm gonna get you out.
And she goes, this is unedited audio.
You don't know about the terrible secrets
of the Calliastro family.
I'll never be able to escape the count.
What?
It's not, yeah, no, it's right.
I mean, it's, yeah.
It's Tweet.
It's Tweet.
I mean that.
Yeah, it's doing like,
cause the loop on's like, I'm rescuing a princess from a tower.
Like, I don't know.
I'm thinking you don't have to marry the bad guy.
This is Lake Career Loop on.
He's no longer horny.
He's just like Vauxhall now.
Honestly, dashing at this point.
This Vauxhall.
He's Vauxhall.
Well, he's Vauxhall because his true love, of Fujiko is of course also in the castle and refusing
to talk to him.
Yeah, just cool.
I would do.
I would be done with him at a certain point in my life.
Yeah.
So, so.
Ten years of shit.
Yeah.
I'm tired.
So, he does a little magic trick for her.
He gives her a rose.
And then he immediately gets confronted by the goons and drop down a second trap door.
Mike, I love trap doors.
Love some.
The count turns up and he's like, well, he explains his plan again, but this never comes back.
He's like, I'm sick of serving the Duke's family.
I'm going to unite the two houses and get the treasure.
And I'm like, none of this ever comes.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
I mean, Clarissa, she's right there.
That's the only one.
I mean, serving your head of state, like, what?
Whatever.
The method through which he gets to the tower,
or it is phenomenal, which is just like an extending corridor
that just sort of extends out of the castle over to the tower, which is again,
it's a very, very deeply.
The count has a lot of bullshit.
He's got his whole castle.
He's had nothing to do for like 20 years and he's just made his castle.
This wants to kill foreigners and do incest.
He's got so many trapdoors to kill Japanese people and the Reds.
But I mean, the half of the office enter the chat. So it can't even like go into the garden or he'll get shot by his own lasers. and do and says he's got so many trap doors to kill Japanese people and the right to do.
But I mean, I'm a coffer's enter the chat.
So I can't even like go into the garden or he'll get shot by his own lasers.
Like what does he do?
Crazy laser machines.
He flies his little little arrows thingy.
So so so Lufon is like rather blusher about this.
He's like, it'll be fine.
Trust me.
He gets dumped down another trap door because the ring ring that the count of achieves it's fake.
Lupon still has the real one in his pocket.
Yes, because we see during the conversation that the ring has been switched and the ring that
Clarice is wearing is a radio transmitter that enables Lupon to just like taunt the counts of it.
Which is great. That's fun. I appreciate that.
Go check in here then, I want to explode,
or fuzzy chicken.
And then after it explodes on his finger,
a full second afterwards, the count is like,
this is fake.
Ah!
It feels the need to suck it out loud.
It's shit.
It's really, there's not a lot of subtext going on in these parts.
This is the point at which the movie starts to drag.
Yeah, this is the point where the movie starts getting into the territory.
Yes. So, Lupon gets dumped into the same catacombs as Zanagata was earlier.
And wouldn't you know that they're forced to make an uneasy
truce?
Every time, every time, baby.
Yeah.
Don't even acknowledge it that like this is a recurring thing.
They're just like, oh man, this is for the first time ever,
we're going to have to make an uneasy truce.
It seems that once again circumstances
is forced to make an uneasy truce.
And at this point, I've just written kiss in order to save an underage girl.
I would say a caliostro more than other Lupon stuff down plays the homo erotic subtext.
Yeah.
There's a lot of other things.
Sucks.
Fortunately, I'm here.
So.
Yeah, I'm here.
So.
So, like, Jiggen's more brotherly and then he got his more of his dad whereas another stuff
is just like really gay.
And the dubby calls then aigata old man a lot.
Um, yeah.
So at this point,
Pops, yeah,
Pops and the Ginny on dub.
So some more, some more ninja try to,
they should kiss.
I'm not disagreeing.
I'm just saying me as acu probably didn't.
Some more ninja try to kill them.
Lupin does a classic hitman move of trying to take the guys clothes.
He does do that.
Yeah.
No reason because five seconds later, he just jumps out and locks the the butler and the
fucking castercams.
I feel like he drowned that dude, right?
Oh, he absolutely drowned some.
His hands come up and he drowns.
What are the guys like?
I can't swim as he's being locked under a great
and neck high water.
And he's like, okay, that guy's dead.
Dead.
He's fine.
He's fine.
It's off screen.
It doesn't count.
Yeah.
That's true.
So far, that's still at the tone.
If you kill someone off screen, it's fine.
We'll get to that.
We'll get to that.
We'll get to that.
We'll get to that.
We'll get to that.
We'll get to that.
We'll get to that. We'll get to that. We'll get to that. We'll get to that. All right, yeah, yeah, yeah. They emerge into the counts, counterfeiting factory. Yeah.
Then we get like a weird bit,
well, Lupe was like, oh yeah.
Oh, yeah. Let me talk about the bit.
Yeah.
Let me talk about the fucking bit
because Lupe one goes, oh yeah, these are the goat bills.
These are, this is fascinating.
Notorious imitation currency
that silently brought about the upheavals of medieval Europe.
It caused the collapse of the bourbon dynasty
provided Napoleon with funding
and eventually triggered the great bank panic of 1927.
And goatbills were responsible
for some of history's most influential
and devastating events in the last 400 years.
And when he says that last bit,
it is over a bit of a footage from World War II.
Ah, I mean, what?
That's fine.
Yeah, I mean, the thing about doing a story about the hidden financial hand that controls
all politics and which caused World War II is maybe, you don't want to do that.
It's not a Jewish thing.
They just, you legally can't do a loop on thing without mentioning Hitler at least once.
I'm the guy who's going to be in there.
It can be subtle.
Yeah, you can try actually obligated Hitler.
Napoleon and Hitler, Napoleon's also in.
And Napoleon is.
It's like, it's the implication that Hitler used fake currency to pay for a rearmament.
That's an interesting.
That's an implication.
Also how did this cause the bank come?
There's no implication.
It comes and goes like fucking wind.
I wouldn't even worry.
Also this thing got to come.
Everyone's forgotten it by the next sentence.
If I was just a history nerd and he's info dumping
to Zenny Gata.
He can't believe that.
Also the why.
What?
Oh.
Uh-huh.
There is a cute bit when they do this sort of like uneasy
truce thing where Lupon goes like,
oh, do you want to shake hands on it?
And Zenny Gata's like, don't push it luck.
I really appreciate that. It looks like he's going to, but then he's like, oh, do you want to shake hands on it? And then a guy says, like, don't push it luck. I really appreciate that.
It looks like he's going to, but then he's like, no,
I'm not using this.
No, no.
So Fujiko having had one conversation with Lofan
where she's figured out what his deal is,
immediately activates Fujiko mode.
And Fujiko mode.
Fujiko mode.
Fujiko mode.
Consistive.
The whole camera outfit.
Yeah, she goes into visit in her, to visit Clarissa,
to visit Clarissa in her like lady and waiting outfit.
Unzips that shit to reveal full combat outfit
with guns and grenades.
Oh, camo onesia.
She's got grenades. Fuck that. She also gives this massive info job
about who she is to Clarice is just like, look how did I have been working together for years.
Sometimes, this friends, sometimes, this enemies, sometimes, we're even lovers. I'm like, cool, great.
This girl's 14 and then has PTSD. Can you just like get her out? That's so cool. She can say is, Ha! Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
So, uh, yeah.
This goes like, who the fuck are these people?
They keep turning up in my house.
This is the most bored girl on Earth
and then people just keep showing up in her room
and being like, my name is Frutico.
I'm a, I have no loop on here.
Here's my deal.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's my deal.
This is what's happening in the movie.
She asks, she asks if Lupon like broke up with her and,
and Fijica replies that she left him, which genuinely appears to be like a huge turning
point, including says like mind.
He's like, holy shit, women.
Yeah.
Women, women can be powerful.
And I'm like, yes.
Um, and at this point, on hot boxes castle Caliostra
He fucking does yeah like smoke starts coming out of every available poor in this castle
And when it is already like reached the fucking upper eye on a sphere
It cuts to go him on who goes something's happening. You know like yeah
who goes, something's happening. You're like, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Catch up, brother.
We also see like legendarily slow reaction time,
Count Leo Stroh, who has the smoke is bellowing in through his door.
It's like, holy shit, is that a fire?
Yeah, he's in bed with like 30 servants in his room.
It's a alien bed.
I'm not like, let's on in there before we cut in.
I'm so proud.
Like a silver robe.
How many people do you need to tuck you in, man?
So what they're doing is they're burning the printing presses in the counterfeit currency.
And so they make their way up to the towel by virtue of kicking a bunch of guys.
Yeah, they run up and there's some music and allow me to say, it's, it's, it's phenomenal.
Samba, Temporato.
The whole soundtrack is so good.
Usually our nose music is awesome.
So far, the violence has been, guy gets kicked in the face.
Guy falls out of a thing off screen.
Maybe a guy is drowned.
Fugico escalates to murder one.
Drop of a hat she is ready to rock and roll
because some guards try to come in the tower,
and she's like, okay, fine, I'll just fuck.
I'm fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking.
Parade of right, if Lufjord was in a situation,
the door opens and a bunch of guys come in,
he would
simply say the words are now it's getting interesting. Whereas the door opens and Fruchka opens
fire.
Fucking sub machine gun.
Wrong the hint, like different techniques, different vibes. Really welcome.
I love through it.
We see this kind of buttless uniform, just get fucking like taken out. They're not even
like the ninjas, they're just dudes.
Imagine if you work in Castle, Caliostrand, you're just kind of getting used to the new vibe
which is, oh there's going to be some capers, I might get kicked over by a thief, right?
And then you fucking go into a room and you see your friend get shot in the fucking face
in front of you.
I want to know.
Yeah.
She must have known all of those people.
She must have been in the fucking break room at Castle Caliostra, like seeing photos of
their kids and she's just like instantly the second she's fucking Zenia on a top mode
at seven-hour control stations.
She's fucking Zenyar on a top mode at seven eye control stations. She's fucking grenades.
She is so much more dangerous than the situation calls for. Like there is a point when they're trying
to like break the window because Zenyar and Lupin steal the fucking, the funny little photo giro,
yeah. And they head on up there and they can't like the glasses, but it proof it's chair proof question mark.
And she pulls a grenade standing in front of this fucking window sill,
and instead of putting it on the window sill,
just underarm tosses it, a little arc onto it.
Not like that is so fucking dangerous.
It's a grenade could roll.
And then afterwards she goes grenade proof figures.
What?
Does it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fantastic.
Why would it need to be grenade proof?
What is Clarice packing?
So we are almost, we're on the precipice of rescuing Clarice here.
That's right.
And in the course of this, as he's about to rescue her,
LuPan gets fucking shot in the chest, he
gets shot in the back.
That's moaned again.
Well, he has very high caliber weapon.
Oh, really?
Well, like now, now that Furtico has sort of escalated things, the tone sort of goes a
bit wonky, right?
Because Lupon gets shot.
Clarice tries to cover him with her body and she's like,
if you spare his life, I will, like, I'll marry you, I'll give you the ring. And we see
Count Caliostro, like, light her face and he's like, yeah, okay, killer. And fucking Joe
so the butler is pointing her fucking MG42 at them. Like, it's the battle of the Arden.
It's like, because like fucking Caliostro is just like,
yeah, yeah, of course, like guarantee a safety.
If you just come over here and get me in the ring,
and Joe goes, shall I kill them boss?
And it's just like in a minute, in a minute, just come down.
Yeah, so the hold on, so.
So why is that gun mounted on the side of Clarisse's tower?
Like, what?
Also, like if all he wants is the ring
and he's still willing to kill him, and why then why do you any of this? Never mind. We also we also get a gross line because
you know we got to remember that Fujiko is here so the count just goes. Fujiko I think I'll have
to interrogate you later in my chambers. Gross. At least she's older. At least she's older. She's grown up. Yeah. It's fake.
At least she can speak and not just say,
ah!
So with Lupon incapacitated, the count gets the ring
from Clarice.
She goes willingly, but in the course of doing that
allows the others to escape on the auto gyro.
Yes.
Which is on fire at this point, right? Oh, yes.
And the guy does not know how to fly it.
He's just screaming.
It lands in the backyard, I guess, of, uh, like,
beard guy from earlier exposition man.
Yes.
A crash in a tree loop on is flying through the air completely
unconscious and for, and
seevably no reason.
Go in one, uses his sword to cut all of his cloves off mid-air, and then just sort of goes,
well, that was the waste of my time, wasn't it?
Like, he's like, fucking Zorro.
Yeah, he is.
It's sick.
Zanagasa goes back to the UN to like,at his case for this being an international counterfeiting ring.
That's right.
This is a series of fantastic backfries.
Guys.
You mean like when they're going with a British flag lapel pin goes...
We have a sticky wicked hair.
It's so good.
It cuts across to like a guy with a French flag with open.
He goes, sacrible! This is a conspiracy!
You can only look at the UN if you're a stereotype that's how it works.
The Soviet Union guy is like he's so huge he's bold and Zenny got a...
He's calling us like, m-m-m-me!
Zenny got to of course please to them he says,
Let me bust this guy!
So of course I've got let me bust
hey you hog
a woman let me bust
so that happens really in this movie
yeah yeah but they won't let him do it
because politically compromised they won't let him do it because politically compromised. They won't let him bust. They won't
let him bust because if he busts inside Caliostro, then every
country in the world will be implicated. And so they they
tell him to go off the case. And what we get next is
punished Zenergata, which is my favorite sound on the soundtrack.
So good. He goes out past his like detachment of dudes. And the big dude is like, yeah,
when are we going boss? And he's like, no, it's off. It's over. Don't even talk to me. I can't
face it right now. It's perfect. We say he just develops instant alcoholism. Yeah, he
stops. That happens a lot in the series, he'll just get drunk.
Start smoking on the job too.
He like sadly walks into his office and then like after a three day time skip,
we cut back to him and he's just still there.
So we see that Lupon is convalescing, do you can helpfully offer him some food?
I'm so much.
Converlessing, Jiggen, helpfully offers him some food. It's a mush.
He's been out for three days.
The wedding is now very close.
An archbishop from the Vatican is coming to officiates.
And he has to get back up to strength.
She tries to do by eating a lot of food.
We also see that for some mysterious reason,
the old dude's dog recognizes him and likes him and the dog
doesn't like anyone and he knows the dog's name.
And so what we finally get out of him is the truth of how he was Jason Bond, which is
he was sent to assassinate a central African leader called and quantum embossing.
It was about to write a book about.
Oh, sorry.
Okay.
Okay.
He was a young thief.
He tried to rob Castle Caliostro. He got Jason Bond washed up on the shore and
Ten years ago, so I guess four-year-old like Pablo
Which is why I thought she was 20 because there's no way this fucking kid is she made me like six or something
Yeah, she sees him
It is. She made me like six or something.
Yeah, she sees him so dressed.
And she goes,
and this forge is like a bond for life.
Where Lupin is like, okay, I must protect this,
this girl is my own child.
She's a scappetal people atonic, please God stop.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Please.
At this point, we need Fujiko to go and sort out some of the plot.
So she just does that just off her own.
It's nice to try to do that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She tips off Senegart, and she's like, oh, whoa, yeah.
It's going to be in the finale.
It's going to be in the finale.
No, no.
It's a telephone line.
Yeah. So I'm just using a phone like a normal person.
This is a big fire.
From the back of a motorcycle too.
But she calls zenigarth.
She spends 90% of her time on that motorcycle.
There is a point where like some,
she throws something through the window
while loop on is recovering and Jiggen finds,
and it's starting to say it out loud.
That's Fujiko's motorbike.
That's the sound of a motorbike phase away.
Like, really?
The last misdirected Archbishop,
and obviously we've seen a film before,
so we know that somebody's gonna pose as an Archbishop.
Yeah.
Fujiko gets into the castle wedding
by posing as a TV journalist,
not wearing any kind of mask.
You think they'd be like, I've seen your face
and also you're one of two women who exist.
But whatever.
You dress is like girl reported.
She's dressed as like April O'Neal.
But also, I should point out the vibe of the wedding here
is RSVP for my spooky wedding dress code spooky.
It's so dramatic.
I want my wedding to feel like this is so good.
I also wrote that down.
My wedding to me about this dramatic,
the helmet that he's wearing,
the cape that he is wearing.
He's like,
I'm a plot Dracula shit.
It's so good.
He's got like 50 dudes in black KKK robes
with swords like theigan on a guard.
It's fucking sick.
Yeah, they're like penitenti.
He's dressed in the fucking household cavalry dress uniform Dracula would wear.
He looks like he's going to be in an opera.
It's very cool.
Yeah.
And there's a whole vibe here because the thing is that his incest plan is to unite.
They're both Caliostras and he's going to unite the dark and the light side of House Caliostra
in order to unveil this great treasure.
Because he's got a ring as well and apparently when you put them together, question mark treasure?
Yep, that's right.
Why didn't do this at any point previous?
No worry about it.
So, I have some Ariha first?
No idea.
The experience through which they kidnapped this priest,
by the way, is that one of them approached us
and dressed us elderly in, oh God,
what's the name of it?
They even beat the old guy.
He dressed us as a shepherd.
And he's like, will you bless the lamb?
Yeah, no, he dressed as an ex-position guy.
Walks out of the car, he's like,
yo, is that the archbishop?
Can you bless my lamb?
And he goes, yeah, all right.
No.
Because I have a flock of sheep.
No.
Ah.
Flock off.
Ah.
Flock of sheep.
So anyway, the wedding, so I do speak now
from a whole new piece, and then Loupon going on
and a gigant jump out dressed as ghouls. Do you speak now from a whole to piece and then Lupon going on and
Do you give jump out dressed as ghouls?
That's right. Yeah, he's got things and he's a mummy
He's got things What the nominal archbishop says at this point is
Mum and me ha ghost
I I also have
Mum and me ha ghost
I also have mum. I mean I ghost I should point out he's he's dressed in red
He's not a car than he's an archbishop. He looks a lot like Santa and he goes
Mom, I mean I go all of everyone is immediately formed by
the fucking obviously fake ghost loop on and it gets stabbed several dozen times,
which of course does nothing because loop on is in disguise as the archbishop where he
like reveals himself with the truly baffling line I opened the episode with.
Go boy, chill out before you burn yourself.
Go boy, why not?
What's up?
He steals the rings and then we get the ring.
He steals the ring.
He's like, grop, he's out.
And uh.
The fire works.
She's got a giant gun again, just firing into the wedding.
Yeah, he does.
Yeah.
He's got a fire on the wedding box.
He's got things.
He's firing into the wedding.
Right before this happens where Lupin goes, wait a second, they drugged Clarisse so that
she couldn't speak, so she couldn't object.
She doesn't fucking speak anyway.
Why did you need to?
Yeah, they drugged us so she couldn't go.
Yeah.
Speak now from a whole new piece.
Who's your co-shoots and ninja?
Yeah, she does. And then... Yeah, yeah, she's got like a wrench, right? speak now from a whole GPs. Who's your coach? She's a ninja.
She does.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's got like a wrench, right?
She's like, yeah.
She has two great things in this reporting.
She's reporting.
She immediately starts, starts fighting, right?
She's got a tear away.
She's got the camouflage outfit underneath her reporter outfit.
And it's like one zip and pull.
And that shit is just off, which I appreciate.
And this one under all of her clothes at all times.
Yeah.
And the second thing I appreciate is that when it's time to like go mobile, she just grabs
the microphone right down the cleavage and it just like just holds it there while she's
running.
Fantastic.
Absolutely.
Goals. Yeah. Luke, Luke
one gets discovered. Whips openness. His cape needs to go to shitload of fireworks. My
wrote, look, to be fair, every mission starts off with good intentions. And then eventually
you panic and just do an active international terrorism. It's really easy to just accidentally
fall into these kind of things. So during this time, Zenigata.
Yes, Zenigata.
That's one of the reasons I love this job is this scene.
It's really good.
So funny.
You want to tell me?
Zenigata, like purely colluding with, with Fujiko, like goes into the, the crypt with the fucking,
um, the counterfeit money presses and goes, oh my god. goes into the crypt with the fucking
the counterfeit money presses and goes,
oh my god,
I have stumbled upon
an unrelated, criminal, and surprise.
It's so good.
What should I do? Oh my god.
And then I got a live on TV.
We see cuts at the UA.
One of them just goes,
Florida's a bad actor. It cuts to the U.A. One of them just goes,
it cuts to the U.N. who are all crowded around like a fucking tiny TV,
CRT, and they wound that in.
Fuck's sake.
I'm not.
He's like mugging at the camera like,
oh my god.
That's crazy.
I can't tell you,
because I thought Lufan was in it.
So good. Oh, I just love that guy, man.
They go back to the fucking big clock tower room.
Clock tower baby. We've seen it in every single shot of the castle, like every wide shot.
That's right. It's time.
So, like Lufan carries Clarice up there because she has the anime girl, Powell, which allows
her to be unconscious at will and just has to be carried.
Mm-hmm.
Need to learn to do that.
Yeah, it's fully metal-gay solid too at this point.
Just to fucking carry her around to her mind.
Maybe it's three.
Whatever.
Anyway, point is, the guys, like the goons chase after the, one of them gets crushed in between
two cons. The guy after him comes back down and he's like, yeah, that's not working.
He's like, no, that's a bust man. We're not going that way.
To which we're going to take the steps.
My man sees Lou Fonko up there and is like, I'm following him instantly gets
a stonkali host just like, there's a staircase man, like, what are you doing?
You know this one.
This is a list, actually.
You work here, like, what are you?
This set piece is unbelievable for like something that is pulled off entirely and like
hand drawn and I made myself.
Yes.
It's so well animated.
It's unbelievable. A great mouse detective ripped it off and used CGI, I'm so well animated. Unbelievable.
A great mouse detective ripped it off and you CGI, I think like very early CGI.
Outly.
It's so good.
But they they fight with a wrench and a sword on top of the
the cogs in motion.
In the background, all of the cogs are emotion like it's
it's incredible. Unbelievable.
But eventually they they managed to fight their way onto the hands of the clock on the massive clock
tower, which is a classic place for a final confrontation to occur.
Sure. Um, 13 steps, you name it.
Yeah, one of the old times that happens in the end of cast two.
Yes, it does. Yes, it does.
There in a clock? I was too.
Unfortunately.
John Lasseter is like a Kelli Oster absessi.
He's like the first date I took my wife to was Kelli Oster.
It's like one of my favorite movies.
Huh.
Huh.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, he's like a reprehensible pervert.
But it's like perfect match then.
No wonder he likes it so much.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Kelli Oster is like, give me the rings. That is, that's all I care about now. Perfect match then. Oh yeah.
Kali, I just like, give me the rings.
That is, that's all I care about now in this season.
He's given up. It's like, all right, fuck, sake, I'll just take the rings.
I'm done with this.
I don't even want to do incest anymore.
It's too much trouble.
Vladimir Navikov has left the chat.
It's a high bar to get me a European man to not want to do incest,
but you've successfully achieved it. I'm only animated by greed now, give me the rings.
He takes the rings. This is fucking Clarice and Lupon end up diving into the lake.
Yes. Finger rockets. Yeah, because of his one ace up his sleeve, Rocket fingers. Are you just shooting fingers?
He shoots his fingers at loophole.
And he's got them on both hands too,
because he threatens him with the second hand.
Yeah.
This movie is really threatening around
like fingers and gauntlets, right?
Because all of the ninjas
are like holding their hands completely flat
with these pointy ass gauntlets on.
And just going, yeah, Everyone's got like amazing nails.
They're like mantis mode martial arts, it's phenomenal.
Yeah. So, so, so Kelly Austro, he climbs up to the, the thing that's going to unveil the
treasure. He, he puts the rings in, he activates the clocktail, which goes very, very fast.
And in, what is, frankly, an insanely gothic novel ass demise for an otherwise weirdly
like PG movie, he is crushed bodily like an insect in between the two hands of the clock
at mid- A audible squish. A audible squish.
It cuts to a wide shot, thankfully,
but you see him, he's like, oh shit, oh fuck.
And it cuts to a wide shot
and then just the single pixel of red just goes,
you're like, oh, Garellen Poe.
And then watching this, we see Joe saw the butt lobby,
like, well, guess I'm out of a job.
Yeah.
Because he's just this to go away.
And he's like, oh, kill me then.
Go away.
I'm not going to do that.
I had to do that.
Because of the code of the samurai, not the code of the samurai.
Yeah, of course.
But we unveiled the treasure, which is of course a metaphorical fucking treasure.
This is a treasure, alright.
It's one to be shared with mankind.
It's too big for my pocket anyway.
It's a fucking sunken Roman city.
Yeah, because the clock tower, when this happens, the clock tower falls down, reveals a, and unblocks, a hidden floodgate,
which causes the lake behind the floodgate to lower, revealing a Roman city, which was there all along.
It's a kind of Roman. It's very beautiful, the water and sunlight.
Not a truly...
Thank you, it has always been for the Omelette water.
Not entirely. What Kaliastro would have done with that.
Well, he didn't know what the treasure had.
Yeah, he would have been pissed off.
We were like, what is this?
Yeah, I can't use this.
So you know that was there.
Because you know, you could have think,
skidder dabbed over the lake.
The thing about water is this.
Artifacts, whatever.
See through.
Yeah, see that is that
But still divers ever anyway, so it's fine. All right. No one say I got like a coin washed up on the show
Oh, it's Roman going over for something like
Medical don't worry. So Clarice is like okay take me with you
I will learn to become a master thief unfortunately
That would be too interesting and not misogynistic enough.
So, Lupon's like, ah, no, you're just a woman.
No, absolutely not.
Well, she's also, she's like an underage girl
who's traumatized.
I'll give the movie that one.
And she clearly has feelings for him,
and he's like 30 or 40,
and he's like, the scene where he almost embraces her,
but then Miyazaki's like, don't do it,
and he like pulls his hands back.
Like, trying to kiss like, don't. It's slightly weird that this keeps happening to Lupon, the underage girls keep throwing themselves at Lupon and he says,
no, this is the second time he's ended a movie this way and I'm like, dude.
He's like every time, every time he does a bonus episode, he does smacks it into a video.
I think you're the first, hopefully she's like 18, 19.
I don't know, it's still weird for you.
Yeah, let's teach her, right?
She wants to go to Boston University, yeah.
She doesn't.
Yeah, she wants to go to Boston.
She's a study archaeology at Boston University.
But of course, he has to go back to his true love,
which is his 24, his 24, seven brat relationship
with his engasa.
He's just like, oh no, I hope no one chases me.
Like there is for a bit where Zenergasa like leans out
the window of his car and he's like, back,
doing the shit again, this is fantastic.
So, and that's the movie book.
Yeah, she goes in for a kiss, he goes for the forehead.
And it's just like right time
I've been a go and then gets in the car while she's distracted
Like I was like what's over there? I got to chase this guy because he's stolen something very precious
He's stolen your heart and I guess in his car and least as well
It's it's like I'm here too
He's not even called Carl.
That's the dog.
We don't know what this guy's name is.
I don't know what his name is.
Yeah, yeah.
I have no idea.
Grants keep his name.
30 times.
I don't know.
That man doesn't have a name.
I'll let you guys have like the last word here, but one thing I will say is that I've enjoyed
recording this and talking about it with you guys,
much more than I enjoyed the movie.
I did not care for this as I was watching it.
Genuinely, and I like, I just felt like, you know, it's very influential.
Sure, lots of people feel a great deal of affection for it.
I did not.
I watched this and I was like, no, I'm not sure what's wrong with me that I'm not getting
it, but I think it's, you know, a facile childish fairy tale with still-to-dricing, worst
VA, problem with women and tone and pacing, and like 50% of it by volume is just kind of
... which I really, really, really hate, I can like see all of the fucking lineage
there, but I didn't like it. And that's, you know, I feel bad because I like, I want to
say, oh, you know, I had a great time watching it, but I didn't, I didn't care for it.
That's completely reasonable. I mean, like, it is, it was his first directorial pursuit,
and that's never typically your best shot at something
he's doing at the first time.
Oh, really, Miyazaki movie.
I've not liked, which is saying something.
I think I'd have been enjoyed it more
if I didn't have to take notes.
If I've just been able to, like, take some legal substances
and then sit down and watch this beautiful looking film,
I just want to have a look at what you ever made. Yeah, it's gorgeous. The soundtrack's phenomenal looking film. I just thought it was just a dream.
Yeah, it's gorgeous.
The soundtrack's phenomenal.
Like, I just enjoyed the boys hanging out, which doesn't really happen for most of it.
Just not really.
That's kind of the shame.
And those are the only bits for it shows rather than tells too.
It doesn't really come anywhere near passing the back to El Tess because there are two women
in it.
One of them isn't a character,
and they have his Fujiko, which you sort of legally have to include if you're doing a loop on thing.
And she does most of her cool things, impliedly off-screen.
But ultimately, I think it's a good movie, and I enjoyed it a great deal, because I could see
the DNA of Ghibli, and I could see that start out, and I did it a great deal because I could see the DNA of Ghibli and like I could see
that start out and I did have a phenomenal time. The first time I watched it, I was also on some
some legal substances having a love and time. And I don't know, it's, I'm not doing, I'm not doing
film and ask. I'm talking about my vibes and my apologies, I should make me choose some analysis.
But yeah, no, it's, it's, I think it is what you make of it really.
Like I had a good time watching it.
If you didn't, I should have done some drugs, you know.
Shannon, how does this film fit into the kind of wider loop
on and wider ghibli sphere?
Yes.
It's, um, it depends on if you're talking about,
like, if you're talking to like a loop on weirdo,
a excessive person or or a normal person,
because a lot of people, especially more,
like anime dude bro people really don't like it.
And I understand it too,
because the first is just trying to do Calliostro again.
You have this really interesting James Bond
pastiche character who's very dark and very anarchic,
and Miyazaki makes him a hero,
and then later on everyone wants to make him a hero,
but without the subtext subtext of like,
he's trying to be a better person.
Kaliostro is kind of like his last heist chronologically.
And like a lot of modern Lupon is trying to chase that.
It's just terrible, because it doesn't have,
it's nothing interesting.
He just makes him like a boring hero,
whereas in other stuff, he's much more like spy versus spy violent.
I mean, it's like a universally beloved movie for like a lot of animation people, a lot
of people I like Pixar, a lot of anime references it.
It's like a like inspired a whole lot of people in their careers.
I understand the criticisms, especially about Clarice, and I think it's one of those movies
that I wouldn't show people who don't like movies that are slower or longer, but I mean, it's one of my... For me, it's one of my favorite films and I like the...
The maddically, it's sort of about doing right by other people.
Or not... He's not like trying to atone for being a thief, but he's maturing. And I like that.
But yeah, it kind of sucks because it did. It's a really good movie, but other Lupon stuff can be so much more interesting.
Like, I like Mama Moore, which is just an insane insane, an arctic, violent movie that has Hitler in
it.
Lupon, like knee jerks, solute Hitler, because he's scared of him.
That's the kind of movie that is.
So I'm trying to make him hero.
And was there other Lupon series of films made before this, or was this like his first
adaptation to screen?
Or no?
There was a live action movie for some reason and then MAMO and then this. It's like a sex comedy
that I saw as a teenager. I didn't like it. I would probably like it a lot more now. There's
live action Japanese movie and then there was like part one and part two were also before this.
That was like early 70s.
They're still making adaptations, right?
Oh, the newest one was trash.
It was actually set in a great Britain.
Any fought Sherlock Holmes.
And it was like the worst thing I've ever seen.
I really hate it was very poorly received.
Never set anything in Great Britain.
I've been saying that.
It was it was awful.
But Keshie Quake is also making a series of movies that are like
grindhouse movies that are like really sexual and violent.
And those are some of the goi-mons movie is really good and the other ones are like way too
rapey, but those are interesting.
That's the only interesting thing that's happening right now, because the main line stuff is
it's again the the Caliostro influence like he's like heroic and nice and it's like why?
Like because Abby you watch a lot of part two, which is a lot more he's like and it's
always sunny character.
He's like pity and shitty and he's a lot more interesting in that.
But he always has a Hollywood story, but that's nice.
That kind of lights.
I've observed exactly two, like, used to loop on mid to and a half. If you include the
bit of mama I watched before us, aside from what I was on too many legal substances to
understand what's happening. I've just seen this one, and I've seen the first, but for
which I watched four of podcasts, so I was taking extensive notes.
So I feel like I have more knowledge of it
than I really deserve to have,
because I've got such in depth.
But comparing the two, I do massively prefer
Caliostro.
Really?
Over the first one.
I think the first, the side characters are terrible.
And Caliostro, the great one,
the mission of that Hitler. What the hell? Do you want me to play? The first the side characters are terrible like they're like in Kelly Oster the great one
Do you want me to play when I saw Hitler I stood up in clout? I go to I think you have to
Oh when Hitler appeared on the screen I stood up in clout
I cheered when I saw Hitler
But the first does have that DNA the more anarchicic DNA when lupon dresses as Hitler and a rubber mask, that he's, you know, that's what makes the franchise more
interesting, which sucks because Caliostro is such a beloved and well-mame. I love Caliostro
too, but I also prefer the darker, weirder, like saluting Hitler are just like blowing
people up and like sort of evil, a Gremlin lupremlin loop on instead of like oh he's a hero now cuz Miyazaki doesn't want him to be you know yeah
Yeah, that's fair. I think you're right Allison that there is somewhat of a ton of shift
Yeah, about the point of the first gunshot wound. This is saying don't scream
The point of which if it's been like a lovely romp thus far. And then Fujiko like aces 20 dudes on screen. And you're a holly shit.
Yeah. Fair enough. Well, I mean, that's that's the cast look Ali Ostrich.
Shannon, welcome. The people find you.
You can find me on Twitter at plenty of alcoves. Um, I'm a player on the
teenage superhero body horror podcast critical bits at critical
bit cast. Um, I'm on the fight together. Many series on the One Piece podcast, and if you look up Fake Friends,
Parasozcial on YouTube, you will find me. My video is fantastic. Everyone do that, and
we will return for Body Horror. It wasn't included last time you plugged yourself.
Oh, I should have. It is a Body Horror Podcast. That's what we'll play. I play a Teenage
lesbian ex-villain, and people's heads explode and stuff on the show. That's what I play. I play a teenage lesbian ex villain and people's heads explode
and stuff on the show. It's good. I like doing critical bits. It is good.
And we will return with, I'm not sure what we will return with actually.
Fucking, is it breach? It's breaches the next one.
All right. Breach the next. I'm going to see some more Chris Cooper. We're going to hack
tap bypass all of these things. In the meantime,
thank you for listening and we will see you again soon.
Thank you for listening to yet another episode of Kill James Bond.
Thank you of course to Shannon if you would like more of them, please.
Head on down to the description of this episode where there will be links
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