Upstream - S2E27: Rambo: First Blood Part 2

Episode Date: July 27, 2023

Alright fine, it's time to admit it. We hate America. We're absolutely sick to death of Yanks. And all it took to finally tip us over the edge was watching the movie Rambo: First Blood Part II ------ Consider supporting us on our reasonably-priced patreon! https://www.patreon.com/killjamesbond ------ *WEB DESIGN ALERT*  Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/   Kill James Bond is hosted by Alice Caldwell-Kelly, Abigail Thorn, and Devon. You can find us at https://killjamesbond.com and https://twitter.com/killjamesbond

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just gonna be mad. I'm just gonna be mad. I'm just gonna be mad. I'm just gonna be mad. I'm just gonna be mad. I'm just gonna be mad.

I'm just gonna be mad. I'm just gonna be mad. I'm just gonna be mad. I'm just gonna be mad. I'm just gonna be mad. I'm just gonna be mad. I'm just gonna be mad. I'm just gonna be mad. to the loving memory of Theodore J. Kaczynski. Rest in peace, brother. You're a weird dude, but you gave us permission to be weird too.

So, right about the rest of the three guys. I Yeah, what I bet Ted of it come Surprising down to a very funny When I was making Oh When I was making up earlier I was fucking dying My god, what you need to do for the next one of these is put in Like fade into it the news reports like some like radio like podcast news thing It's like Theodore jay kazinsky has been found dead and his cell At federal correctional institution but not how old was he?

All right, uh, like 80, 80, 20. I was like, 20. You're still in like twink mode, I guess. I think that's the case. It's like Jeff. Yeah, he was like, it was like the boss, baby, except it was the boss, you know, bomber. He was like, oh, the fact, the wrong part of that, the uniform, the, like, you, the uniform, the uniform, the wrong part of that, the unibominable. Unibos, baby. The unibos, bomb. He was a unibomin prodigy.

He was unibominable at such a young age that they put him in prison. And now he's like died, but he was only like 20. It's crazy. He's like a unibominable child prodigy. Well, where does the unibit come from? The prefix unibominable. Because he was bombing university professors

and the FBI has this insane code name thing where it's like smash this stuff together so it was university bomber you know bomb. So that's that's why he's the unabomber but I think we've decided it's funnier to use it as a verb just intrinsically and it's like the unabom whether he unabombed someone. Hello and welcome to another episode of Kel James Bond. Speaking of domestic terrorists. I am Alice Cold Rockers Innski joining me. I'm a Kel Kazinsky and a devil. How you doing? This is the thing is, right, this is this is nightmarish because Rambo first blood, right, we had our differences about it in a friendly way, but like we agreed it was a

movie with potential, right? We agreed it was interesting, there was stuff to talk about. And then, then we watched Rambo, colon, first blood, dash, part two. Oh God. It starts going wrong at the title, just immediately. colon first blood dash part two. Oh God. Starts going wrong at the title just immediately. And it's it's so much easier to talk about Univomings than it is to talk about this movie. First of all, this is a Sylvester Stallone James Cameron joint.

Yeah. James Cameron did the screenplay for this. Fling director. I will convert there converter of yes. Yeah. And then they had a falling out over the, I guess the politics involved in this movie, which to be fair are dog shit. And so James Cameron has like disavowed bits of this movie, which is fairly strong as well he may have done. Which is very strong as as well. He may have done It's Sylvester Stallone's least favorite Sylvester Stallone movie really as well

Yeah, he said it was like a cartoon which it is like a cartoon. He's not wrong about that Yeah, but my brother in Christ Sylvester you made the cartoon We're gonna get into this quite it but like the changes that Silver's just lone mates to James Cameron's original screenplay are profound and interesting and all dog shit. I thought it was really weird when Rambo had that piano dropped on him by the Vietnamese soldiers and then his teeth were replaced by all the keys. That was really weird. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A little bit fucked up. I think it was kind of apropos that the unibomber is in the news for the final time because this, I mean, in the last film, Rambo did a unibomber. You're barring any surprises. Yeah. That's true. So in the first film, Rambo did like did did some domestic terrorism and is in prison for it. He did.

Yes. He is in domestic terrorism prison. And the thing that you do when someone is convicted of domestic terrorism is you want them around as many powertools, explosives as possible. And so Rambo has been sentenced to hard prison labor in open cast mining where he's just like smashing rocks with a pickaxe while explosions go off. where he's just like smashing rocks with a pickaxe while explosions go off. Because it's cool, because it's an excuse to show him with like a very like a sweat through shirt, but like I just love that what has happened here is they have sent him to the fucking salt mines like a Roman slave rebel. Yeah. He's mining the lorry and silver right now. It also explains why he's jacked. Yes. Well.

And he has a sick record. He looks like dev. He does have the sort of like long mullet. Um, here's the first major change, because in the original screenplay, he was hospitalized. He was a, Rambo was in like the psychiatric wing of the prison when he went to go over the cook who's nest Rambo that's as he should be because the thing we established in Rambo one first blood part one a is that Rambo is a man who's deeply unwell. But now he's crazy yes, but he's thriving psychologically because he's just like hitting rocks with pickaxes. He is just hitting rocks with pickaxes.

That's literally what he's saying. There's a like prison shot that a movie can do is just like guys hitting rocks and being like, that's it, that's prison baby. His PTSD is no longer a factor really. That's fine. He's fine. He was cured of that by like in like week one of prison. But he gets caught away by a guard to meet standing on the other side of a fence Colonel Troutman his old boss and father figure the guy who does the line that sounds like an MF doom sample that guy uncle Sam Yeah, and uncle Sam tells him listen, you've got five years left on your sentence, which is his

First move You've got five years left on your sentence, which is his steric when you remember the first move. Yeah, like, like, he's done three of them. You've got an eight year stretch for, we don't know what exactly, but domestic terror must be part of it. You blew up most of the town. A shot of police officer. You waged war on an entire civilization.

Even discounting the property crime, he did shoot a police officer. Very much so. With a gun. It's several times. They'll kill you for that, Rambo. But no, he's got five years left on your sentence. Do you want to come and do some shit

for the United States government in a deniable way instead. And this is a really funny detail. He says, a computer, headquarters said that you would be good for it. Yeah, this film has a real, well, a computer's a gay, computer's a gay and soy and real men don't use through. That's what this film says about technology. And it's right on every count. But it's very funny to me to imagine a sort of like 1980s Pentagon doing AI prompts for their black ops, you know, it's just like, you know, generate me a convincing way of doing this shit.

John Rambo. Yeah, let's get John Rambo back in the mix. Yeah, the fact that Rambo is asked to do this mission makes zero fucking sense as we will see later on. But anyway, the vibe is the mix. Yeah, the fact that Rambo is asked to do this mission makes zero fucking sense, as we will see later on. But anyway, the vibe is... Absolutely, the computer. The vibe is, so there's a secret mission going on in Vietnam. Not going to tell you what it is yet, but it's happening in and around the prison camp that you escaped from in 1971. So if you want to get involved in this, you'll be temporarily reinstated in the army, and if you succeed, maybe, you'll be pardoned by the president, maybe. They're not even going to suicide squad him, really. They're not putting a bomb in his head, they're not sending a prison guard with him to Vietnam.

The mission had he done it correctly would not have been massively dangerous. Wouldn't have been hard even. He Definitely makes it more difficult than it is. That's true. Yeah. That's true. And he's sort of like, ums and ores about this. And ultimately he's convinced by Troutman, but the line. The line is Garver's line.

This is the part where I get to talk about how much this movie makes me hate America and Americans because he looks at Troutman and he goes, do we get the winners time? Fuck you, fuck off, you fucking, no you don't, you will never defeat the fucking people's, it's funny. You know what we're going to do? You know the Frankie Boyle joke about how America comes

to a country blows up all your shit, kills everybody and then 20 years later makes a movie about how doing it, makes their, blows up all your shit, kills everybody, and then 20 years later, makes a movie about how doing it makes their soldiers feel sad. That's right. This is like, it's just that movie. War and insulting. But it's a more insulting version of that movie, and that's happening again now about Afghanistan with like the covenant or whatever the fuck. And it's like, yeah, it's America fucking comes to your country like bombs it to shit like Deforent some massive amount kills Half a generation and then we'll come back 20 years later and make a movie about how they could have done more if people weren't so soy

It's not even that they feel bad about it. It's just like we could have done a lot more killing actually Yeah, I feel bad that I didn't kill more people with that Yeah, like that rambos whole deal. Like, it's a fucking synopsis. If you know anything about the Vietnam war, and I mean anything, if you watch the fucking Ken Burns documentary about the Vietnam war, if you watched the event of zoom in, and all shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's that very same guy. If you saw any of those that line is so fucking insulting and like America as a culture as a mass culture produced this and you fucking touchdown spike the football child mind motherfuckers. I hope the ghosts of all the people you

killed haunt everyone involved in the making of this movie this movie is the dying day. Yeah, it's genuinely, it's like sick. On a kind of like, you get to win this time level, like it's, it's, it's sickening. So I can't still fell man, it wasn't just because people were soy back home, like you lost the fucking war. Yeah. I want to be rooted in it. But then the titles come in and the word Rambo is in flames, which is very cool.

I will say one thing about this film is that the music is sick That's true. Yeah, I'm right now. Music is cool. I mean sick in a good sense like the music is cool Like in a very Miles bronze friend Darryl moment the theme is done by Sylvester Stallone's brother I tell you yes The Sloan's brother, I think. Yes, well, really. Well, yeah, we got my brother who plays guitar to do the theme. It's gonna be epic, which I kind of like. Oh, cool.

I wish I wanted my brothers to write me a theme song. We gotta go to Asia, and we know we're in Asia because we start with a huge shot of like a giant bodice outfit statue. And then they sort of like 9-11, a helicopter into it. They steal a bunch of shots from apocalypse now. Like, helicopter's that shit. And then they sort of like 9-11, a helicopter into it. They steal a bunch of shots from apocalypse now, like helicopters flying into sunsets and sunsets.

Yeah, yeah. So we're in Thailand, that's where we're, that's where we're like base campers. And the first thing we, like Thailand is a whole last country, a beautiful country with a lot of like, you know, history and a lot of other big cities in Thailand, right? But the first thing we see of Thailand is step farmers in pointy hats.

And it's like, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Fine. Sir. Just to make sure you got the memo that we are in Asia and what you should think Asia is, it's rice paddies and the conical hats. Yes. Rambo gets off the, no, Rambo gets off the helicopter and meets a guy called Erickson

who is wearing a very tom of Finland leather, unzip vest and nothing else on his chest. I can't do that. I can't do that. I mean, it's, I mean, he's kind's kind of serving can't like I don't want to be kind of is kind of is There's one thing I know about the military It's that they take what a lack sat at you towards what you were that's true Yeah, sorry, whatever it's very casual organization listen if you get good enough at killing you can sort of enter the like Ghost call of duty protocol and just show up wearing whatever and everyone has to accept it. Bro, you're beard out. Yeah, you can just be on some show.

Oh, yeah, you can wear a skull mask 24-7 and no one's out. When are your skull masks to work? To take the fucking skull mask off. So like clearly no one is here to tell Ericsson who's this big muscular dude. Hey dude, you can't wear the tomuffinland vest to war. You can't do that. You got to wear like a shirt or something that like buttons or zips. You can't just be like tits out in the war zone. I think you can't find. I think you should be able to. Well, he is. It's a predecessor as well. Yes, it is. Yeah. So, so Rambo walks in and he meets

Colonel Sam, who we already know. And also meets this this dude Marshall Murdoch Who is yes, do we recognize this man? Yes, he's the voice of Zed from the animated men in black series Well done. Do we recognize him from a screen presence at all? Yes, he was in Austin powers gold Yes, he was Yes, He was in Austin Powers. Yes. He was. Yes. He was.

Yes. He was the general in Austin Powers one. Charles Napier, a guy, I think I can say we love to see. A guy who is prolific, a guy who has did like hundreds of these roles. Including like, I had Austin Powers parodying himself. Which funny, I had it Austin Powers, parodying himself. Which funny, I realized the other day that in Hot Shot's part two, which is a parody of Rambo, the guy who plays Colonel Sam in this

also plays Colonel Sam in that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Richard Crener I think is nice. Yeah, but Charles Napier was typegast as American authority figure brackets bad, right? Yeah, yeah. Always believe he was the soldiers, Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. Go very close. He was the soldiers generals all villainous of corrupt judges.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And so he's the CIA. And you can see how CIA fits have changed. You know, they had an invented 511 car keys yet. So he's got to be wearing like a full suit, less the jacket with the tie undone. Yeah. And you remember. You remember.

And we don't like him. We don't like him. He also, we know that he is because he feels the heat. He's like, oh, it's too down there. Where he's always like that. He's like, he's like, he's his often lighter. This is what I was leading up to. If you remember when we did the Man from Uncle movies, we talked about the directorial decision

to make a character be looking for their keys through a whole scene. Much like that, this guy's direction is you are too hot throughout every scene. He's reading the script, but he's also too hot. You know, I can't. Yeah, he's like, he's walking around, sure. And the script might just say walking around, but he's like, oh, damn, it's too hot. And he's going to do this for an hour and a half. It's cool, actually. I mean, it's, it's, it's nice to see actors make decisions about their performance that are based on the environment the characters are supposed to be in because

that is such an important part of it. And one that is these days would not to be too like, ah, too many green screens in movies, like it's, it is something that's often neglected as like the physical environment the characters are in. So I thought this was a good choice and something to have. It's not bad, actually. It's not bad. We do see that the CIA's headquarters, they've brought the CIA to Thailand and Rambo, it's like interposing into it as the rugged individual. Murdock has a little desk flag, a little desk American flag, there's right in the middle of

a shot across the desk. They have a Coke machine, which, you know, the Coke machine in CIA headquarters is a bit ironic. Also, there's a dude with an incredible fit leaning against that Coke machine. This is... Sent me the screenshot of this guy. Real, real founder.

Yes. He's credited as a lifer. This is this actor's only appearance in anything. And he's wearing like aviators, he's got a blonde moustache, and he's got like a shirt that he has not bothered to button at all, because again, it's hot. It's sad, right? And so, so Murdoch tells, he says, right, Bond, here's the deal with this movie. And as you probably know, Rambo, there are 2,500 soldiers from the Vietnam War who are

still officially MIA. Most of them are dead. But there's a rumor, a persistent rumor that some might still be being held as POWs, including in the camp that you used to be in. So what you're going to do is go in there, take some pictures to either prove or disprove this and then come back. That's it. Just take pictures, do not engage. Perfectly, perfectly reasonable for an intelligence agency, I would say, first of all. If there is anybody there, we'll send Colonel Samin with Delta Force to pick him up, but just go in there, tapictures, confirm the presence and then leave. And Rambo is like, what do you mean I don't get to rescue them? I remember that we're still even the guys there.

So we're still even the boys. They're Rambo. So now, yeah, and the way the way the way Murdoch describes this POWMIA shit is now maybe the government didn't care. Maybe certain segments of the population didn't care. That's and that's a horrible. A lot of us. A lot of us.

Certain segments of the population actually damn heavy. That our boys were being tortured having their like nut sacks burned with like hot ions by the Vietcong or whatever. This is a myth, a first of all, this is a myth. This is John McCain's pet myth, is what this one fucking is. Yeah. The Vietnam War POW issue.

They're just dead, bro. Yeah, actually we'll see later on, but this doesn't even make internal sense. Yes. No, if you're curious where this came from, you may have seen, if you're an American, the POW MIA flag, sorry I said I hate you in your country earlier, I do. I do. You an American that the POW MIA flag sorry I said I hate you in your country earlier I do I do you may have seen the POW MIA flag the like black one with

the like like human head silhouette against Bob wire or whatever that like some some places like that's in commemoration of this kind of myth in the narrowest sense and that started when the Nixon administration and this will shock you, lied about something. That's crazy, dog. In order to increase support for the Paris Peace Accords in order to like, you know, increase support for ending the war, the Nixon administration exaggerated the number of Americans who were missing an action in Vietnam. And what missing an action usually meant was like, you know, your skeleton is in the jungle

somewhere they can't find it. Dead but we can't find it. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. And what they did was they exaggerated that number as a way of like sort of pressuring the American people to support ending the war. And then later, this became a real feature, if you've read the essay, the Paranoid style and American politics. A real feature of that style was they still have

live American prisoners over there in Vietnam in Laos and Cambodia, even though the war has ended in Vietnam in Laos and Cambodia, even though the war has ended and why aren't we going and rescuing them. And this continued as a myth from the early 70s all the way through, I mean, it's still kind of around today, but all the way through into the 80s. It's suffice it to say this is wrong and deeply racist. Vietnam was desperate to like redevelop relations with America at this point. There is no reason that they would ever possibly have to still have POWs. Yeah, also, I mean like spoilers I guess for later on, but it turns out there are actually some POWs in this room. There is a movie. There is a movie that happens. You just don't just go and find nobody and then just confronts the ghost of his past, that would be quite good though. But later on, we hear that, oh, skipping forward, a lot of Colonel Sam says, oh, at the end

of the war, we were supposed to pay the Vietnamese reparations, we didn't, so they kept the POWs. And I'm like, if that was the case, if the Vietnamese government were intent on ransom in these people, why keep it secret? Why wouldn't the Vietnam constantly be like, yo, we have these POWs, please give us money for them. Why would it, it doesn't even make fucking internal sense? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, it does not. And bear in mind that like since normalization of relations with Vietnam, the Vietnamese government has been helping the US to like find and catalog remains of all those dudes who just died in the jungle.

Presumably, in the mindset going on here, which imposed itself on American politics for a long time because by force of arms and masculinity by being like, no, you weren't there so you don't get to tell me that my obviously false belief is false. You have to throw this fucking flag up about it. Like presumably that all of those guys just like died of old age, I guess. Yeah. I guess like, you know, we've now reached the point where even if there was anybody who's being held as a peer WNVNM, they're almost certainly dead now. Yeah. I'll ask you if you're listening to this podcast in a torture camp in Vietnam.

Yeah. If you are listening to this like neck deep and pig shit in a Vietnamese press, that's gonna be a difficult listen to you because we do insist for you aren't real. Sorry, nice of them to let you listen to podcasts though to be honest. Thank you. See if your characters will let you access killjamesborne.com slash contact and just get in touch. Yeah, I'm like, I'm in a tiger cage, you know, my wrists are like tied together with will let you access killjamesborn.com slash contact and just get in touch like I'm like I'm in a tiger cage you know my wrists are like tied together with wire they're making me listen to call her daddy I'm screaming screaming no one's

answering by the way I should also say people did try and do the plot of this movie there was this guy called Boon Oh no. Ritz. Who tried? He was American name. Bob Dogman. Yeah, he was. A boxing dogman. No, to fucking be called Todd Bonzalos. He was a special forces like Lieutenant Colonel

and he tried to organize private rescue missions with Laos and anti-communists. And anti-communist in quotes, is that? Anti-communists in Laos, interesting. Yes. Yes. And these were financed by a bunch of private donors, including Ross Perot and Clint Eastwood. Hell, yes.

And they went there and a bunch of their dudes got captured and ransomed. That's a fucking movie. That's the movie I want to see. Is they go in like Gongho to rescue PWC all there and get captured? That's funny. They've become the POW. Yeah.

Self-fulfilling fucking prophecy. This is, and people say that cinema doesn't have an impact on the world. Look at that. We're financing. I'm like, people, this stuff that Bo Gritts got up to was both such a great movie in and of itself, but also so embarrassing that Eric Haney, this guy who was like he was a Delta Force master surgeon, like he was also a believer in this P.O.W.M.I.A. thing, but

his excuse for how they'd never found any was we were gonna invade Laos and Vietnam again and find the POWs, but then this guy Bo Gritz showed up and started doing like TV programs about how he was gonna free the POWs and they just moved them. And it's like, fuck sake, guys, guys, 40 years, no one has produced a single shred of evidence that this even happened, even one time. It's the same with the like spitting on me when I got back from Vietnam and Rambo first blood part one, one,

where it's like, no, this didn't happen, but like it's psychologically important to you to believe that it did. Anyway, that's why Rambo's going in because he's gonna find the evidence. And he's going in, because he's going to find the evidence. Yeah, and he's also going to be going in a loan, and they say Rambo, try and forget about the war, the war's over, it's a different time now.

And then they say, Rambo, you'll be assisted by all of these, state of the art computers, all of which are gay. That's right. Yeah, we've got these gay computers for you, and the computer like prints out a thing, it's like I love sucking dick, I love being gay, I print out of things like I love suck and dick. I'm a whole whole room full of computers. Yeah, all room computers, whole room again guys.

Rambo to operate the computers. I don't know. Rambo's like, we never find out what this technology like is they send him over the big back which he immediately loses. So I'm imagining they're just loaded him down with like starting monitors and mechanical keyboards and shit. Yeah. Yeah, he's carrying in two IBM select tricks

in a backpack. The calculator. The later, I think. Rambo doesn't like the technology. And he's like, I always thought that the man was the best weapon. He's my still-loan. He sounds about as good.

Rambo, you're mentally ill. I'm not too much. I'm not a brother. I always thought that my crazy mind was the best weapon. I mean, not to like, disparage people with mental illness. Like, that's fine. People have PTSD. Okay, cool. Yeah, for real.

But like, I'm also, he doesn't, he doesn't have PTSD anymore. He's fine. Yeah, okay, he's fine. He's mind is the perfect weapon now, because it's just it's just secured like you'd have guessed that's another thing. It's still on change about the script is that he's actually fine now. Yeah, this makes us so much worse as we'll discuss later on, but yeah. I do want to, I do want to activate Alice Autism mode for a minute here and say that again, if you know anything about the Vietnam War, this movie is hysterical, but one of the reasons why is that special forces in Vietnam, which Rambo was supposed to have been, were all

in on very then advanced and very experimental technology. They had ammonia detectors to try and detect the scent of people's piss from miles away. They had acoustic listening devices and shit. Some of the black-up shit they got up to, it's probably still don't know about. And that's fine, but like, it's quite a contrast from that to like, all I need is my knife and my gay little headband, and I'm gonna go in there,

and I'm gonna like stab everybody and shoot them with a bone and stuff. Yeah, and because this is like a fantasy of like, masculinity, like returning with a V, reacting against just whatever is around at the time, including computers. And we really ramp up that masculinity fantasy because we're gonna talk about the like,

gearing up for the mission sequence. There's one bit that I wanna talk about just before that, which is, Oh please, yeah, I've missed this actually. I'm not exactly like you. Marshall Murdoch says to Uncle Sam, Hey, like his Rambo really up to this. And Uncle Sam says, Rambo's a pure fighting machine.

He's got no fear, no regrets. The place that you call hell, he calls home, and he's basically Ram, he's Rambo's hype man, right? He's doing it with do-no. I'm just gonna know that like- I think I have that, actually. The final. You're a fighting machine with only a desire

to win a war that someone else lost. There you go. But like, Rambo ended the last movie weeping into your arms, dude. Mm-hmm, yeah. How can you say that about a man who you have seen bare his soul who's been deeply hurt? Like, I mean, this movie is just pretending

that the previous movie didn't happen, I guess. Yeah, to be clear. The reason why that is is because that didn't happen. Yeah, that was wrong. Yeah, yeah. Oh, there is one other thing as well. That was going to be okay. Yeah. There is one other thing as well that happens when Murdoch briefs him where Murdoch goes, listen, I'm not just some simple country CIA person. I was in the shit.

I was with the like three two Marines at K-San or whatever. And on his way out, Rambo's like, you know, the three two Marines were actually at like denang or whatever. So we know that Murdock is stealing that. Three-tomb Marines actually worked in the land that day, you know, they've, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Took their own holiday. It was south of France, you see.

He's stealing Valle, he's lying, the worst thing you can do. And you know, you're not meant to trust him. Rambos sharpens his knife and he gets, he doesn't do it. He's a, does his boots up very tight? It's so gay. It's very tight. It's extremely good. It's so much. So many shots of tight glistening muscles in this movie. This is the first of many.

I've got a lot of that written down here. It's so gay. But it's not, it's obsessed with the male form, but not in a homosexual manner. It's obsessed with it as an instrument of killing. Violent. I guess part of it is you're supposed to see this, if you are a man, you're supposed to see this and it's an excuse for you to kill the gay thoughts inside you.

It's just like, I will resist. I will not think about this in a gay way, even though it's very gay because that's how straight I am. It's like. Damn, what if I was Rambo? Yeah, I mean, these muscles have to be. You don't have to call me in this,bo. Yeah, yeah. I mean, these muscles have to be. You don't have to call me an S-tweth.

Yeah. And we get a great, I never would have thought of a little shot. Yeah. Yeah. We get a very funny little shot of them have him loading an SLR camera in the same way that you would have gone.

Yeah, that's nice. That's for everybody I love to though. Me every time I go taking photographs. So Rambo doesn't trust Murdoch. And then Rambo gets on the plane and flies away, just going to the mission. And then Murdoch says to Uncle Simon, I don't think there are any POWs there, but whatever, it's important to Congress that we disprove this myth so we can all fucking stop talking

about it. He's right. He's right. Objectively, factually, he's right. Rambo has to parachute in. And it's a static line drop and a static line gets tangled. Where's the very guy in the homework? Yeah, that's also true. It's like a leather sort of like big old's helmet. But also the pilot

at this point screams back to headquarters. He's being dragged, which I can't get a drop off because it's mixed too low. So that beatens that as some of the quote of Rick's way. Check the internet lately. This is why, I mean, this wouldn't have happened if Rambo who had exited the plane properly, which is, you sit down, go, you're like, he's pushing yourself out. Like, he evokes up by like jumping from standing. You can't like fall out of a plane sitting

because that would be gay. But anyway, he gets, he gets caught up on the side of the plane and then he cuts himself loose, but he loses all of his CRT monitors in the process. So now he's got, you know, his knife and his wits and that's it. Yeah, man versus nature, even loses a shirt at this point. Of course he fucking does. He, yeah. So before we take this one, I do because I want to set something up. Yeah. So I read the first draft script for this. I read Cameron's original script, right?

And James Cameron had a character in the script, a guy by name of Brewer, who was a sort of sidekick for Rambo. He was first, right, he was penned with John Travolta in mind, first of all, so know that down mentally. John Travolta was going to be playing this guy's like, fucking sidekick. He would assist with like technology or some shit, like bit of comedy relief.

Do the typing. He was introduced in Thailand in a scene where they were actually like in Thailand. Oh, that's why they have the scene with Ericsson and it doesn't go anywhere, because Ericsson like just doesn't do much. Yes. He was supposed to be interested.

Silvestre's Sloan removed this man and replaced him with a different helpful character, a character by the name of Kofong Bao, who is a Vietnamese woman who speaks in broken English for the entire fucking movie and it was broken English as written by Silvestester Stallone so not like not like how a fucking between me speaker would speak bad English how Sylvester Stallone imagines

no I mean she speaks yeah she speaks bad English yeah you do this like it's say yeah fully it's mentally I mean there's first there's a a little bit where Round Bill kills a snake just to proof how about that. That's great because he's getting like across country having been sort of like dropped in the wrong place is to jog around in his little headband with his lips. It makes sense. Intimidating a snake.

And he's also using the little button compass in the pommel of his knife that you know needs two hands to work which made sense as an emergency thing in the first movie but not at all here you could just bring a camp whatever. Also the film really wants you to be creeped out by Buddha statues. Yep. It really wants you to be triggered and owned by seeing the conical hats, like straw hats. Then he runs into this woman and he's like, you know, and she goes, you surprise me woman. Sure. You not expect woman.

It's just like, well, yeah, I saw my parents the same thing. She goes, now go next location. Next location is. So, well, I'm going to let's introduce her. This is Co, as she's called in the film, she's played by. Next location is. So well, I don't know, let's introduce her. This is Co, she's called in the film. She's played by Julia Nixon, who is not Vietnamese. She's actually from Singapore, but whatever. And she speaks in this fucking caveman dialect.

The entire movie, she also, later on, becomes the centerpiece of the funniest moment of the movie, which I will watch for all of this. But yeah, okay, so she takes them to some pirates, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes Village Thing, is essentially to say, hey, Asian dudes, they're fucking scary, right? You're on board with this, right? So a bunch of Asian men fucking terrifying, and Rambo looking around like, oh God. And it's kind of like, you can excuse this a bit. I'm sure the movie would try to, by being like,

yeah, this is like the Southeast Asian equivalent of most I see, right? Like, it's a bad neighborhood. But the effect is these and co and the Vietnamese soldiers who are not people are the only Asian people in the movie, right? In fact, as far as I remember, they're the only non-white people in the movie.

And Rambo is like looking at them like, oh God, oh fuck. It's like, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what fuck. And it's like, what else the fucking lady's like in a shower? What's she gonna do to you? You fucking psycho. Yeah, this is purely just like the presence of Vietnamese, people is itself a threat, which is horrible. And I guess you could also excuse us being like,

oh, Rambo's got PTSD, but he doesn't. He's fine now. He's fine, yeah. Don't worry about it. Yeah, so they get on the boat. Yes, they got down river. That's the thing. Does he speak Vietnamese? Yeah, we get an emotional.

Does he speak Vietnamese in this? There's like Rambo understand them. He likes speaks Vietnamese to her. OK, that's fine. Which, so you're meant to understand that, like, damn, he's so smart. He speaks Vietnamese. They get on the boat. I'm not saying it's an easy language to learn, right?

But it's also not fucking mind-labyrinth impossible. Millions of people speak it every day. I just don't think so much. I think so much. I think so much. I think so much. I think so much. I think so much.

I think so much. I think so much. I think so much. I think so much. I think so much. I think so much. I think so much. I think so much. I think so much. I think so much. I think that's fair. They got on the boat. They have an emotional moment where he like talks to her about what her and he goes what your deal. She goes my deal. My deal is dad die sadly.

Now I do this. What you are. I mean her character is quite interesting is somebody who is Vietnamese and now working for the American government. I would have liked to know more about that. That's an interesting thing, but never mind. Yeah, no, don't worry. I think so, like, layers of complicity, but her dad died instead of going to open a frankly delicious restaurant in Virginia. And she asks him what his deal is, and he's like, yeah, I'm fine. There was a war in America when I got back,

but it was a quiet war, because it was against the most police departments of America who hated America. I mean, it wasn't very quiet when you were blowing up fucking petrol stations in Washington, that's why he did. Yeah, it was quite a loud war actually because of all the gunfire that you brought to it.

Mm-hmm. And again, it's like, this thing is like, oh, everybody hated Vietnam veterans. It's like just the left wing ones. That's what you thought. Vestors let it talk, and I fucking go and just is like, oh everybody hates Advietnum veterans. It's like just the left wing ones. What do you call that? Vestas Lodok, you know fucking go and just be like, do you know what soy is? And she's like, yes, it's a staple food.

He's like, no, no, it makes you gay. It makes you, to Americans, it makes them gay. That's why they had to get out of Vietnam. But she says she has a line had to get out of Vietnam. But she says she has a line. She's like, I gotta get out of Vietnam because too much death here, I'm like, you psyched a movie

and that was the fun in America. I hate America if you used to help us. America, you caused the deaths. You caused the deaths and now you're bitching about them and then you put them into the blows words, into the mouth of a Singaporean woman in a movie about how it made your dudes feel bad. You too much death, a fucking cry.

Too much death, which is just incidentally here, just being honest, just unlucky, I guess. And at no point does my mouth. Yeah, I guess so. I mean, I mean I mean just a toxinist with an interesting Rambo had like don't like a little bit of a look or not or like a yeah I guess you know a lot of that is kind of out for even just a little bit of a knowledge remember you just it's really plays this race like yeah there is a lot of

that here huh it's odd it's it's the fault it's not Rambo score it's not the fault of men like Rambo who are doing the killing. It's the fault of the guys who are ordering it. And at this point, we cut back to Mr. CIA, Mr. Murdoch, who is looking for a cold diet coke or whatever. This is another thing, not to really go anti-burger action here. But Americans love to sit on their asses and watch movies and drink coaks. And then the movie is about an American who is sitting

on his ass drinking coke and about how he's a gay pussy.'s a mirror. Yang. So we see the murder. Yeah, it's like podcast now. I'm sorry. Murder, it's like assessing Rambo up to fail. So the heart because he's soy and gay. And he's like, yeah, I actually think that it's going to be good when he doesn't find anything. Yeah, because they go to the camp.

He's already like, oh, we're not going to find anything. It would be ridiculous. We found anything. Obviously, there aren't any MIA here, W's. So they go to the camp and she's like camps, camps are supposed to be empty. A woman shows up and she's like, check out this slut, which like a genuine, she calls her a whore. This is the only other crazy movie. Crazy. A fucking movie. Does that fit of dialogue technically past that? No, she doesn't talk to the to the whore now. No, no, she would have to.

So Rambo then goes and infiltrates the base on his own. He ignores his orders. So he goes in. There's a silly way from outside. So he goes into Havala ground. He takes a bow with him. So he's clearly intent on doing violence He he sneaks underneath two people fucking at one point like he's Jason Voorhees

And he's like looking at them fucking through the forwards Yeah, camp counselor Rambo But he finds in a bamboo cage in a corner of the camp that no one's even really guarding They don't give a shit about these guys. Oh, it's been so many fucking years. Like no one cares about the Americans. Yeah. Yeah, they look pretty good considering they've been there for 14 years.

Yeah, maybe like a dozen Americans. Yeah. And you get shots of them like suffering and there's like bugs on them and stuff. And it's like, again, fuck you. Fuck you a third time because like you would rather empathize with fake veterans you made up than with real ones. Like it's just so...

That's a bad point. No, it's a seconding. It's so curious. So this one guy who's been like strung up on us in Andrew's cross, yeah, so Harambo cuts him down, he's like, I'm gonna get you out of here. We're gonna rescue you, come back to the other side.

We're gonna get the handage to the Vietnamese army's BDSM division. He's like, no, I mean, consensually, this is part of the scene. Let me go around. Interrupting my goddamn king. So he kills a guard with a throwing knife and then two others with a bow and he escapes with this P.O.W. Here's another sentence. Remember in the first movie where Rambo and he escapes with this, this P.O.W. Here's another sentence.

Remember in the first movie where Rambo didn't kill anyone? Yes. Yeah. That was also the plan for the second one. Would you believe that so rest of the Sloan was like, no, no. No, no. We're gonna go insane. I'm gonna be killing. We're gonna go, we're gonna kill and by God are we gonna fucking kill by the end of this?

We also see that Co immediately like fails her part of the stealth mission, purely so that we can see Rambo rescue her by pinning a guy to a tree with an arrow through the fucking head. It's... I hate Americans. I hate Americans. Why is your culture like this? I'm afraid of Americans. I'm afraid of Americans. Yeah, so the day escape, they get the likes and Andrews cross guy onto the boat. And the pirate is like looking piratically,

brackets duplacitous, brackets Asian at them like, I'm gonna sell these dudes out. Rambo does not notice. Rambo tells this P.O.W. who's So, the guy's like, what year is it? I was like, it's nine and 85. And it's like, oh shit. Crazy. Yeah, you've missed out on so much.

Like a flock of Seagulls, the Rocky movies, 1985. Oh, it was just a normal country by that point, Matt. Like, it wasn't even like an ongoing war, man. Making stereos in the Vietnam by the 1980s. They finished eating Cambodia, even. Like, this was so... Oh, my fucking god. Rambos, you missed the events of Rambo 1,

but don't worry about that, it's not important. So the guards, meanwhile, have discovered the bodies and they've called this in. They've radiated somebody, but they haven't managed to capture Rambo. But then of course, the pirates betray him. Of course, surprise that the pirates have betraying the Rambo like kills them with a shot.

Yeah, this is a huge free ad for the Frankie spas 12 shotgun. He just kills everybody on the boat effortlessly with it. At which point the patrol boat boat lights them up with machine guns. You know, a Rambo, and like, what, co-own this in Andrews Cross Guy are like swimming to shore. Rambo is just like hitting the deck as the whole thing gets shredded by machine guns. Rambo blows up the patrol boat with an RPG that he found earlier. Yeah. It was just in his inventory.

And then as the sort of like burning patrol boat is drifting towards his boat and about to blow him up, a guy who I will immediately award the Kaufman star tries to fucking get him. The scene rosette. Yeah. The scene rosette, excuse me. But yeah, the the crime scene rosette to this guy who had been hiding in the boat attic,

while it was being shot at for several minutes, lying in wait for Rambo to go past him. Rambo the guy who has killed everyone he knows to try and like, a garot him. That's a bobbin beyond. Incredible. Yeah, it is. Yeah, yeah.

That's the time. Rambo kills him with a knife. Yeah same the jumps off the boat before it explodes very dramatic Cool shot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the explosion effects in this movie killed a stunt man I I think this was a bad movie. I also do not think it was worth a man's life. Oh Dedicated yeah, it is dedicated to the guy that they killed with an explosion. I'm not sure which explosion it was. Oh my gosh, that's horrible. Fuck, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know.

Shit. A dude died to make Rambo a first blood part too. On the IMDB page without the under-trivial goofs, do you think? I think that's a goof. I think that's a goof. Actually, I think that's stuntman.. I think that's a good thing. Actually, I think that's Dunman. I've never found his body. He's actually being held at a prison camp

underneath one of my steers. They got him like a lash to a snake. And then prison's wrong. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's actually, he's MIA. That's Dunman. It's time. Even weirder too, considering they filmed this shit in Mexico.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, Jesus. It wasn't an explosion Clifford Wager 34 He fell over he fell over for water for oh Dude fuck that's so what's that's really horrible We're not we're not like pro dead stuff We're strongly anti that But like a dead movie first of all

For this? Yes, I have not yet met my stunt double for reacted but I'm hoping they whoever they are they do not have to die So it's a high seat Oh Yeah, so I'm so sorry! I see it! Oh, I'm a lot. Yeah, so... Rambo fucking like tells co, leave the movie for a bit now. Yeah. That's enough of you. And she's like, yeah, okay, I leave movie now.

Okay, me returning to scenes. He and St Andrews cross-guy. St Andrews, I guess. Yeah, St Andrew. Like trying to escape over some rice patties because of course they are. And the Vietnamese army, including this one officer who does not get any lines, but we like recognize him from his like distinctive mustache who has been following them, is like, okay, fuck just shooting them. We're gonna mortar them.

Yeah, we're gonna set up a mortar. Let's kind of mustache again, we're gonna be applying for the crime scene here. Perhaps not quite get it, but no tool runner up. Mm. There's no kill like overkill, right? And the fact that they're like waiting through a rice paddy immediately inside of you and you have an AK, it's neither here nor there, bring in the mortars.

And so we get to see Rambo like escaping the mortars as he tries to make it and bring this guy to the rendezvous point where the helicopter is going to pick them up. Now he's gone loud at this point. It's fair to say. He's real loud. Yeah. Yeah. And the sort of the mission was go take a photo and then come back. So when the helicopter arrives, it's like, hey, bud, this is a bit louder than maybe we were planning to like pick you up under.

But Colonel Sam is in the helicopter and he radiates back to base, is like it's Rambo and he has a POW with him. And at that point, Murdoch is like, right, abort the mission, abort the mission, pull out now, do not pick him up, leave him there right now. Don't you just ask that, yeah. And Colonel Sam's like, you can't do this

and the guy who's in the chopper with Colonel Sam like pulls a gun at him. And it's like, oh, betray. Yeah, yeah, yeah, guys. Yeah, I've saw you that guy as well. Yeah, I've seen a clown. And they pull a gun at him and they are forced to abandon Rambo.

Yes, Rambo. And I guess the guy gets an under it. Yeah, they get captured. The guy. That's really funny. What's really funny is that textually Rambo has less PTSD from being captured by the same guys again than he got from Razer burn. Don't want to be very traumatic, as I think, you know, you know,

you know, Rambo stick supposed to. I'm sorry. Rambos stick with the electrolysis. So at this point, here's one other change. The POWs would have been characters, additionally in the first one. I don't want to get stuck into this or where I'm like, oh, James Cameron wrote the perfect movie and it got ruined because obviously the politics of that one were the same. The plot was basically the same. It was still going to be about movie. But the prisoners of war had characters which sort of they're kind of the fucking pivotal part of the movie. It's sort of the core of it really is them and they get nothing. It's crazy.

Nothing. That one is really good. It might as well just be a flag that he has to go and capture and then just bring back like there's nothing here Brief case for live interlips. We've dropped Rambo off at two-foot and he's just gonna get this Upside down flag off the cross and just take it back. That's it. Yes. Yeah, absolutely So now Troutman back at base I'm going back to base and he figures out what the plan was like Like, it was a set up, basically. And we get some anti-war politics. The line is... It was a lie, wasn't it? Just like the whole damn war.

It was a lie. So, there were some politics. We're like anti-vietnam war now, like the government, the fucking government, lied to get these dudes into Vietnam where they were doing dudes' rocks, and they never did anything wrong. But now that they have done something wrong, it won't even look out for them and it won't love them back. Yeah, so apparently the setup was to send in Rambo, who Colonel Sam says was a distinguished veteran, and then he would find nobody and thereby disprove the lost POW Smith.

He wasn't supposed to actually find one, that's why they had to abandon him there when he did. And why not say, Rambo is not a distinguished veteran, he's like a lunatic felon. He wasn't supposed to actually find one. That's why they had to abandon him there when he did and my notes say Rambos not a distinguished veteran. He's like a lunatic felon. This is this is like if we said okay We need to send somebody in to disprove the fact that Iraq has WMD's so we're gonna send in the fucking unibom If we sent it like why Rambo this guy who shot up a down like the computer the computer said the computer said Rambo Yeah, so so trapments like I'm gonna expose you and the CIA guys like no you fucking not You're on base in Thailand or I got my incredibly sexy mercenaries here I'm also like murder makes a good point. It's like yeah

And and then what are you gonna do like Like if we have like a POW, an American POW from Vietnam on the six o'clock news back home, people are gonna be clamber for another war. Like what do you want me to do? Fucking bomb side gone. Obviously we have to cover this up for the sake of the greater good. And it's like, it's interesting actually

that he does, I don't like to have an argument there. Kind of. It's a good point. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna do, guys lose again. Yeah, exactly. Like, so at this point, we go to Rambo. Rambo is, you remember my joke about being

neck deep in pig shit? That's what Rambo is doing. Yeah, I'm listening to this podcast. He's like, I put him in the overflow from a pig pen where he is like up to his neck in pig shit and then in the funniest moment in the movie one of the guards spits on him which yeah just like that's a level of hating Americans I can't even aspire to to look at this dude who is like mostly in

shit at that point be like you know fuck you a bit more than the fuck you bro how can I make this worse? Yeah. So we are doing it. We are doing it. We are doing it. We are doing it. We are doing it. We are doing it.

We are doing it. We are doing it. We are doing it. We are doing it. We are doing it. We are doing it. We are doing it. We are doing it.

We are doing it. We are doing it. We are doing it. We are doing it. We are doing it. We are doing it. We are doing it. We are doing it. We are doing it. Vietnam and the Soviet Union were very tightly related at this time, largely if not almost entirely because Ronald Reagan refused to normalize relations with Vietnam over the P.O. W.M.I. issue. So it's sort of a self of an approximate sea of it. That's a really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really

really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really. So, so we get a couple of things to know here. First of all, dog shit, personally insulting attempts at Soviet army uniforms.

That shit is silkscreened, the berets don't match, the collar tabs don't match. There is a hock and a very annoys me. They're wearing black camouflage in the fucking jungle, which is also a great time. But the other thing to note, it's general all of us. It is, yeah, just back from killing 009 in I wrote down a full caps. It's gold. Which movie?

I don't know. It's gold. No, it's not all. No, it's not all. No, it's not all. It's a general room off. There's so many fucking so be general in the bond movies. when your pussy eyes only for you. It's the circus one. It's the original, it's the original, it's the original, it's the... I'll put pussy. I completely forgot that I was on the pussy. It's the Jango State India.

Yeah, with Sash Graham and Q. What did James do to that guy with the fucking rocker? I don't know. What did James do to that guy with the fucking But so general general whatever he's like The second thing I've got written down which is oh no, it's the Nazi Soviets All three of America's greatest enemies are fighting us right now Transylvania And so he has he has Rambo like pulled up by his arms. He's like suspended from another bondage rig.

It's like fucking, it's cock inspection day in the prison of war camp. This, it's so, this whole next sequence, so, so homorotic and also so sadomasochista, right? Because, Same as the Rambo, you're looking very tight. Look at this sexy looking very tight. Mmm, look at that sexy. I'm afraid it's high.

He's like, cuts the leeches off him with his own knife. He like, has him cleaned up. The leeches... The leeches even live in pigshirt. That's not the first card, please. I know. You almost think of his podcast up to your neck in pigshirt in a Vietnamese torture camp.

You are right in the picture. All the le or on you. That is no. Leach expert. But so then he like, he just like, homerotic thing, like grabs him by the chin. He goes, and he keeps saying shit like this as he's torturing him. He keeps saying shit like, and it's so intimate. You may scream, there he is, no shame. And it's so intimate, it's like...

Yeah, it's all that. He puts, he puts Rambos knife in a Hibachi grill, which is really gonna fuck the heat tree. He shouldn't be able to use that for the rest of the movie. It's gonna shove it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we've seen Forge in Fire. And Rambos... Which will not kill. Rambos gets tortured, he gets electrocuted, which means we've seen Fortune Fire and Rambo will not kill.

Rambo gets tortured, he gets electrocuted and which means we get to see a lot more like straining tense glistening muscles. Yeah, we do. It's in close up, my god, just, yeah. It's remarkable. And like, the point of this is so you know that Rambo isn't a pussy, right? But he still breaks they still torture him successfully by threatening to torture the like dude with no name Like threatening yeah by threatening to like Blind him with Rambo's

Cool star on his face that like people give you a sick ass Momentum of this occasion her Ambo is like, I know he's gonna escape at the last second. Had he not, that's a more interesting movie. But also, when St Andrew gets almost blinded, the guy drops him onto a sack of US food aid, which is very prominently labeled, just to show that Americans are stupid

to distribute that, you know? Oh, the end I was undergoing a famine at this time! Oh, that's so fucking political! Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, fuck, I forgot about the fucking food. Oh, my God. That's really cool.

So, all of what all of once, what fuck off Skillons is not that fucking like is not that much he wants Rambo to call his boss and be like It's gone wrong. Don't send any more guys on account of this is like an invasion of the territory of the people's Republic of Vietnam It's not gonna What's going on doing it? It is it is yes, yes, it is yeah Yeah, just I mean I just doesn't even know the evil voice. It is worth saying online that, you know, Vietnam is a sovereign nation that the US does not have the right to just wander into,

but this is not even mentioned in the film. It's not even like said as a joke or like an arm. I'm not talking about what we're doing, it's illegal, it's off the books, so I don't tell anybody. The idea that Vietnam has like national sovereignty is just like, we don't even need to consider that, we're America. It's one, two more wars since the Vietnam War ended, man.

Yeah, yeah. He's got a track record. That kick it us. That's right. So China without even the army, I'm sorry. The army was incredible. Incredible. Can't board you at this time, and then fucking den jail thing was like, we're going to teach

fucking Vietnam a lesson, spend three weeks trying to fight against like border guards, lost 30,000 men and then we're like and we've taught them a lesson, boys back to Beijing. Huge Vietnam fans here. The military history of Vietnam incredible. Vowens up one of the greatest militaries. He's up there with fucking Napoleon. Like, oh, dog. What is the Vietnamese equivalent of W? I haven't really used a Latin alphabet. Probably just a double. Fantastic.

Um, so they, they say a number down in front of the microphone and they're like, you know, say a pronoun, call it in. Yeah, call yourself Woken Gay and try them in love to break radio procedure. So like he's, once again, he's like, Johnny, it's, uh Gay and Tramman loves to break radio procedure. So like he's once again He's like Johnny. It's Sam Troutman from Army. How you doing buddy? That's giving you both his name your name The Murdoch guy from the CIA is here. I can give you like a short description if you want What up? It's your boy fucking On some YouTube around to smash that like and subscribe button.

Yeah, Rambo is like gripping this big heavy microphone. He's like, I'm woke, I'm gay, I'm soy. He doesn't say that he's woke again. He says put Murdoch on a Murdoch. He's like, hey, Rambo, it's me, it's Murdoch. Every day, are we cool? We cool? And Rambo's like, I'm coming for you Murdoch.

And then he like, sucks hitting dudes with the microphone stand. Which, you're gonna damage your podcast equipment if you do that. I'm always telling you, don't I know. I know. Co has like disguised herself as the sex worker's Malia and has like infiltrated the thing. How could women... When I see Co on screen, I go,

oh please God, not more of this. Why movie, not over already? So at this point, they escape from the fucking POW camp. Oh my God. Oh my God. God sorry. There's a bit with, like, they don't have the budget for like separate vehicles and stuff.

So there's a Vietnamese Huey, there's Vietnamese jeeps, that they are one helicopter that's getting repainted every time they need it for a different country, which is really funny. But there is a sequence where, like, you want to talk about Americans, like make your film about how the war hurt their soldiers' feelings. This is so precise, a historical inversion, making a film where Americans are pursued through the jungle by Vietnamese helicopters. He is the V's hewis.

So perfectly, insultingly reversed, I was wondering when they were going to start dropping Agent Orange. I thought they were going to do that too. I thought they were going to do that too. They were going to do that too. They were going to do that too. They were going to do that too. They were going to do that too.

They were going to do that too. They were going to do that too. They were going to do that too. They were going to do that too. They were going to do that too. They were going to do that too. They were going to do that too. They were going to do that too. They like, it was the Russians. This time. And so they escape. So the next morning, they're in this, this is the funniest bit.

This is the best. They're in this beautiful spot by the river. And Rambos, Banda, Rambos wounded. So like, tears had a bit of a dress off to Banda, she's hand. And he thanks her and they have this tender moment. She's like, me go America with hand. And he thanks her, and they have this tender moment. She's like, me go America with you. And he's like, yeah, sure. Yes, me open delicious restaurant

in suburb of Virginia. And then they kiss. And they have this like tender moment, I'm like, yeah, I can't imagine you have to be, I know the love of a woman. And then she is immediately shot at the dick that killed you instantly. She doesn't even get the dick. She's just immediately killed.

It's so- The kids that killed you instantly. She stands up dead. They- they use- In a wide shot with squibs just shot dead straight away. So many squibs. She gets like riddled with bullets. So Rambo goes Rambo mode.

He kills all of the guys who shot her apart from that same officer from before, who just like gently jogs away. Yeah, yeah. Rambo is like, OK, crazy. They very healthfully having established Ramboos location and having been trying to kill him and having had a dude survive and leave, they leave him the time to bury his like girlfriend and take her little necklace.

So now Rambos is wearing a fruity little necklace. Yeah, and it's like way too small for him. So it's like riding up his neck like a choker. I have the same problem. Um, but yeah, he wearing a choker for the latter half of the movie. It's really funny. He's like completely jealous now. He's taking off his shirt for some reason. It's raining. It's completely chucking it down. So the rations and the Vietnamese culture. It's bandana choker. That's it. And what? That's an outfit. That's an outfit.

I don't want to. I might not say a rainbow. Rambos them. In this moment, he He truly became Rambo first blood part two. Yeah, he Rambo's all over them. If you're ever seen in first blood where they're like in the jungle and they're like, where is he and he fucking batman's the shit out of them? It's like that more violent and lessens both his bow makes pew pew noises, which is it does. Yeah, the bow is the funniest thing in the fucking world to me. The explosive arrows is so fucking funny. Then they set it up earlier, like he adds explosive arrows

in the helicopter. He's got four and he fires five. He's crafted like, for my arrows. It's not the kind of criticism we do at movie, sir. No. What is funny is that dogs, they're so, they're like straight line. They just explode with a variable amount of explosion depending on how much he wants to destroy per go

Diley you yeah, it's one guy with it just There's a couple of fun details I want to talk about here first of all It's way less inspired than in first blood because they don't want to give the Russians any lines Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of shots of people's boots and no one talks in the fucking bootlaces. Really annoys me. Put the cinema scenes in ding-wad. I don't even give a shit. If you're gonna walk around with your bootlaces, that's gonna trip over them.

And then there's a bit where like Rambo just grabs the guy and drags him into a ravine or something. And that guy just goes, ah, ah, ah, but he's not being strangled. He just like has laryngeitis that day or something. That's just a bad thing for him. I look like a rambore like I didn't say anything. He's got like a sore throat and he's like, ah, ah, ah. He's like, as cold.

Rambore's like eating him from the feet up, I guess. He also loves. Rambore. He lost some guys into a field of corn and burns them alive, which he does. He periphery assumes what I can only call his mud form. You don't even kill one guy. In a previous work.

I mean, like, you know, really is nudging up the unprovoked violent score because even if you're saying, okay, he's killing these guys in self-defense, like the manner in which he does, like, burns people alive, like, this is a war crime. Like, he kills left hand up moustache with an arrow. He shouldn't even be there. Yeah, like he burns people alive, but this is a war crime. Like he kills left-hand up mustache with an explosion of an arrow. He shouldn't even be there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no.

He should still be in the fucking prison hospital mental health way. He should be through it. Like hallucinating this next appears a brazen in the North Korean prison camp. No, I choose to believe that this is what Rambo saw in his, he was actually shot and killed in the standoff at the end of the first movie.

And this is just his brain just dreaming up as he died. The entire rest of what Rambo saw in his, he was actually shot and killed in the standoff at the end of the first movie and this is just his brain just dreaming up as he's the entire rest of the Rambo series. It is just like that. It takes place inside Rambo's mind. That's really good. That's really good. Yeah. So yeah, we get a lot more explosions.

The same love talent tries to kill him. And like Rambo's standing right there, he misses every shot with an entire magazine on an AK and then he's like a big target. He's not even moving, he stands still at one point to be like, eh. So fat. So fat. He explodes the guy who kills his girlfriend.

At which point, the Russian sergeant we barely spoke about, the big dude shows up flying a Soviet hewie, drops a bomb that looks like a pool float on him. He makes this very weird noise as he jumps clear of the explosion where he's just like, that's most of the noises that he makes. Um, and then they like hover the helicopter and Rambo, sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, red, I fucking trivia on the IMTV. There was a bout the death scene that we just discussed here, which is as co-bought died in Rambo's arm off the ambush, Originally, there was a triple crash zoom. Wow, while still left the slowest screams

and no, an echo to three times. Oh! And the sentence here is, during a test screening, the audience started laughing. And it was re-entited. Yes! Damn, I started the original camera. Yeah, release the camera, girl.

The light's so fucking funny. Like, so mad a fucking car. Yeah, release the camera, girl. At least release the camera. That's so funny. I swear the fucking girl. OK, they hover the helicopter low. Rambo gets in the helicopter. OK, Gary, also, let me hit this first. Rambo is wrestling with the dude in the back of the Huey. Having gay sex is the 40th most gay thing you can do. This is above it. He fights more going in the back of the Hewie. Having gay sex is like the 40th most gay thing you can do. This is above it.

He fights more in the back than the helicopter, like throws him out. Yeah, yeah. He throws him out and then we award a second cronstein, Rosette, to Rambo for attacking the guy flying the helicopter. That is a lot of us, it's hardly in. Yeah, true. He doesn't attack it, he's very close to Paul's knife

and the guy actually just leaves the helicopter. He's just like, ex- The guy just jumps. Yeah, this is like, exactly. The guy just jumps. Yeah. This is like, fuck it. Whatever. We now get a long and incredibly fascist helicopter sequence where Rambo uses the Soviet Huey to like destroy the prison camp single-handedly.

This moment made me really quite sad because this could have been a really emotional moment for John Rambo. This is the place where he was tortured. This is a side of his trauma. This could have been a big moment for him to destroy it. For instance, I've talked about this ages ago in philosophy tube. I had a moment like this when I destroyed a wardrobe that I had built for my abuser. And I was like to physically destroy something that has come to symbolize your trauma and

the suffering that you've endured. It's a big emotional moment that like, I think it's a bit much to destroy a dollar college. Yeah, yeah, yeah, true. We'll have a helicopter, but I mean, you did it and you're a better person because of it. But instead, he just yells and it's like, oh, this could have been a really important moment or he could have destroyed it and then we have a moment where he doesn't feel any better. That would also have been quite powerful, but we don't. No, he just takes the like obligatory M60 off of the side of the Soviet helicopter. And just like fives in the air a bunch, he goes like, he rescues the guys, the helicopter is about to try and escape. And then, oh man, this poor, this poor Eurocopter fumer, they have bolted so much shit to the side of it

to try and make it look like a hind. It's got like fake wings and fake rocket pods. And we get a... It does look sick. It does look sick nasty, that's true. And this sequence is quite sick. Copt, Chase. We do get a helicopter.

It's being piloted by Podowski, which, okay. Yeah, he has a very hands-on management style. And they damage the helicopter, and what Rambo does is he like fakes him out, lands the helicopter, makes it look like the helicopter has crashed. Plays dead while the Colonel was like, citing him up with the rockets, evenly. And then grabs a lot of light anti-tank weapon and fires that inside the helicopter. The back blasts from it presumably vaporizing

every single POW on board. I would have been very happy if Rambo had destroyed all the evidence by doing the obvious. Yes, and that's why there's no proof of the POWMIA. The Rainbow Kill's Day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The shame. And Rainbow kills the guy who was like gay torturing him and he gets to win this time. They land in the island. And by the way, the chopper is still damaged, so it's like smoking, but it's just below

a white smoke. So it just looks like a hot box this weird is how they got it. Rambon flies away in Dewey's chopper. Yeah. He crash lands Dewey's chopper. Gets out, Ericsson's there, didn't get to do anything in this movie, still wearing the little leather vest, immediately gets dexed by Rambon.

I'm like what the fuck? He flew the chopper that abandoned Rambon earlier on. I guess so. But like, he's just, he doesn't punch Troutman. He just like, yeah. We get an interesting sequence where Rambo goes into the gay computer room and shoots them with the MG and Yel, so it's like, what are the computers doing?

He hates the computers. He gay. He gay, he hates the computer. He hates the anti-Christ. That's fun. CIA guy is like in the other room listening, like, oh God he's going to come for me doing like first blood shit again. At which point Rambo does come for him. Sticks the knife in his like desk next to him is like, you're go rescue the rest of the POWs because I know there's

more. Make Rambo 3. I believe that you will do this because I have threatened you and not like have me killed. John Rambo kills 75 Vietnamese guys and then leaves one American alive and that's supposed to be like the, oh my god. He's a model of restraint. I have the way out. He has a conversation with Trautman. Oh man.

We get the last dose of politics in this movie. This is like having having finally been exposed that like maybe the Vietnam War was not a good idea. The right wing populism has to concede that much. And so you get Troutman's thing is I think best understood as you... you know uh... american power going you would go to glasses would you wear he just he just says war everything that happened here may be wrong but they don't hate your country for maybe you know it maybe you know it maybe

why why not we may have napalms and children right and then we may have naparms and children, right? And then we may have invented some drill cadences about naparming children. And we may have thought that all of that was good, but you know, don't get mad at us. What point do you hate your country then? Or even just like, not even hate, but just be like, damn, that's fucked up.

Like, and it's not, it's not even like a, you know, against the war support the troops thing. That's too far left for this movie. What Rambo says is like, I hate my country, I would die for my country. I just want it to love me back. And it's like, it's like,

it's like, like yes, it correctly identifies, that often the US treats its veterans very poorly and like does think of them as disposable and doesn't give a shit about them. It's sort of like, of a, like, lower order of magnitude of the people it gives a shit about, are people who happen to be in Vietnam or Afghanistan

or Iraq or fucking anywhere else. Also, like, something Rambo doesn't ever engage with is the fact that like the reason the US government gave so little of a shit about so many of those soldiers and you do so many of its soldiers generally is because they are from poorer backgrounds often like racially disadvantaged backgrounds. Yes, yeah, absolutely. It doesn't, it doesn't really mention like the draft, I mean, we assume Rambo volunteered, but like, no, it's dog shit. It's an incredibly fascist movie. It's a piece of like apologetics for American power.

It's really, really just infuriating. I propaganda. That's not too strong. Yeah, yeah, it is. And I just like American propaganda. Yeah, yeah. It's disgusting. There are parts of American sort of like self-mythology

that can be very good and very appealing, not to like both sides this shit, but that genuinely can be. This is not one of them, right? This is one of the movies that like helps facilitate the kind of anti-Americanism on a like a reflexive basis that you know, you fucking, oh my god. And the thing is, the central myth of this movie, right? The fucking Vietnam war, forgotten MIA, guys, was still like a central tenor of like Republican beliefs right up until basically the modern day. Like this was still John

McCain's pet theory right up until he finally fucking collapsed and died of being a stupid bastard disease or he've tripped over into a fucking pool and just like knocked his head or some shit. From a from a film point of view, it's also it's also just really disappointing to go from Rambler first blood part 1A, the opening chapter, attack of the clones, which had potential, and I thought actually had some maybe interesting moments and some moments of good acting. So this sequel which just squanders it and just remakes all the worst bits uncritically. Not even the best but remakes the good bits but without the added context of like, you know, the politics and the emotional drama. I just like don't fundamentally give a shit about Rambo anymore because, you know, he's just fine.

No, he doesn't seem to have any emotions. He doesn't have emotions like a human being. He exists to be an avatar for sad, insecure men to project their violent racial fantasies onto and it's real shame actually. I'm triggered. Not to be hindsight. Yes. Not to be like hindsight is 2020, but like, I think that feeling is a big part of why I was as hard on first blood as I was. Yeah. Not because I had seen this, because I hadn't seen this before, but because I kind of like got the sense of where it was going to go with it. And I think the kind of like populist needle that it was trying to thread, that stalone

quote, I read at the end of the last one where he's like, he doesn't hate the system. He's just against parts of the system. I don't think you can do that without it turning into this. I think it leads you into, it coheres into one ideology, and that's this. But. And you know what? You do have.

That's exactly why I was like, we need to talk about Rambos. Because that set up and then pay off is, is, oh, it's so, yeah, the way it's quanted is it's even any of the goodwill I gave it in the first episode is gone. Yeah. It's shit. Well, the Vietnam War, it may, it may have been wrong, but we have a science-based rating system that prevents us from ever making such mistakes. It's called the scum system, a sense of smar, cultural insensitivity, unprovoked violence and misogyny. Now, this is a sort of

an interesting question to open with. Can we even think of Rambo as smarmy? Is there smar at work here? He doesn't even have that... He got more like movie lines in the first one. And I think generally there are more like movie-ass lines in the first one. And I think generally there are more like movie-ass lines in the first one, like, God, didn't grip Rambo. I did. There's less of that this time around. Yeah, there should have been more.

Yeah. Yeah, it's like curious, because I can't tell if it's less sincere or more. There are fewer emotions, right? Like, no one's really feeling anything. But equally, there is absolutely no sense of irony to any of this. It has played

completely straight. There's no moments where Rambo like kills somebody and then has just like a catchy leader or like a, you know, a tough liner and he's pretty taciturned throughout most of them. Yeah. My theory is that all of the cool lines were given to this other guy in the original script. And then when he got caught they just were like, and that's, yeah, let's just leave those there. I mean, we gave the first one a two. So if this is less smarmy than that, it must be a one. It's not smarmy like it's bad. It's not smarmy. Yeah, it's one. But chance to re-cube some points here with cultural insensitivity. Oh baby, ten. Oh, 10, 10.

I wanna argue with you. We've already talked about all the reasons why. Disgusting fucking movies. What was it you said when the group chat, the Vietnamese army might as well have been awed. Yeah, they have no like internal lives at all. They just exist to be mown down. To be neither do the fucking Americans.

To be fake, the fucking... James Cameron said about this one who was like They might as well have just gone into a jungle to get a six pack of beer and that have been the whole fucking block because like Did he actually not yet? There's a bit of beef regarding the changes to the script I know it is like banging like GI Joe dolls together. I'm having a fan. Murdock at the Starless movie states that Rambo has 59 confirmed kills during the Vietnam War.

During the course of this movie, Rambo kills 74 people. It's a new PB. It's a new PB. I completely forgot that bit. That's also where he says Rambo is Indian German and then says that's a powerful mix, which is very crazy. What? We're like. I love it. It's a CIA fronology there. The unprovoked violence, burning people alive in a cornfield,

he explodes a dude, a guy's getting like pen to trees by their skulls. Yeah, Rambo should be in the head. 10, yeah. Midway through the action scene, he does the entire fuck right three. We bomb them scene where. Now that was fucking cinema. That was fucking, that's so great. Okay, well it's not a mission because there are two women.

One of them is a sex worker and disposed obviously the other is co-bowl who is also dispensed obviously and is supposed to do it. Fastest reaching ever and speaks by the emotional thought for a time fucking movie. Third act of plots. Yeah, yeah. We had a brain of child. Typically on these I like to take a back seat. I let the women speak because it's about misogyny.

You know, you two have a better idea of it than me. However, I'm pretty happy to say I think this is quite misogynist. Yeah, yes. Yeah, just an ally. Yeah, I can tell. Right. Watch this, now I'm going.

It's not going to be misogynist. I'm going to be misogynist now. Yeah, yeah. Uh- Right. Watch it, it's not going to happen. It's not going to happen to the sexist now. Yeah, yeah. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah. And we put a number to this. I mean, at least she does wear a nice dress, but at least she is like competent with

that. She is. At least she isn't sexually objectified as much as some of the girls in that she like we don't see her in a swimsuit for instance. That's fair. She's like sexually with like a slow pan up to her ass. She's not like sexually threatened apart from one moment with a pirate like tries to like brush her hair and she like slaps away. That's... I could have been worse.

There I said it. I've been worse. There I said I've been five. I was, I know we don't give three, I know we don't give like point five, so I was gonna say three point five, but I do want to settle on four. Oh, settle on four. Okay, that gives us a total score of 25, which is not the worst film we've ever seen, but definitely way up there. Same as Austin Powers too, for those of you who are keeping track of him.

And then... Worse than this. Oh, it's worse than all of the Bond films except live in that die. Yeah, that's about right. That's true. That feels correct to me. That's a science-based system.

Not that movie, it was a film. It is, it is. Yeah, God, we're so good. We just like took a swing at this at the start and just invented a perfect movie categorization system. And it's it's perfect. And of course now, follow up after this, we're going to have to watch Rambo 3, which I see you are no stranger to pain. So we're going to have to I can't imagine where they're going to go this. I think there's a real possibility that the Rambo series. Gannestown. I'm sorry. Yes. There's a real possibility that the Rambo series might provide us with a new worst film we've ever seen. If it keeps going in the direction, I, I, I finally believe that it is

possible. And I'm fine. I'll vamp for a bit. So we have, we have, we have Rambo three coming up and then an additional two Rambo's on top of that. But we also have a Patreon, you can subscribe to it's file. That's what it was. A month. In return, medals. We, we think, Fraunstein Rosette to... No, okay, for the... Could you rename them for the series

to like the Vietnamese Medal of Honor? We're just selling little badges for the Vietnamese Army Medal of Honor goes to Rambo for attacking the pilot of a vehicle that he's in once again, always perfect. And to the boat guy. Did I cross four co? I don't think she deserves it or indeed

anything as a character. She's not really. What's our next Patreon thing going to be? Is it Death Becomes her? It's Death Becomes her here. It's Death Becomes her. I'm so excited to do Death Becomes her. So subscribe to the Patreon if you haven't already. If you don't do that, you will see us again with Rambo 3, but you should do that. And we will see you next time. Bye! Bye! Thank you for listening to Yet another episode of Kill James Bond. I have been Devon as

always and I've been joined by Alice and Abigail. I don't know why I've never said that before on one of these but it felt so natural so I guess I've said it now. If you're listening to this that means you may not necessarily be a Patreon subscriber because this is a free episode. If you're not yet a Patreon subscriber, that's fine, you don't have to be. But if you are, hey, hey, how you doing? Ooh, you're looking good today. Is that a new haircut?

You got that? You're looking good today. Is that a new hair cut? You got that? You're looking great. And if you're a 15 pounds or above Patreon subscriber, oh ho ho ho ho, hello! How are you doing? I'm trying to create a sense of like missing out for anyone who isn't a Patreon subscriber and anyone who isn't a 15 pounds above Patreon subscriber and they are! LowBeeons.candyFordsFraherAlowiciousGistavoLyRJackHomesMikeBurgHanaOverheartNicBorris Johnny Tell come here!

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