Upstream - S2E29: Rambo

Episode Date: August 2, 2023

It's the fourth Rambo film. Sylvester Stallone reckons this is 'the best film he's ever made' because it's 'the most truthful'.   We reckon it's the worst movie we've ever seen. ------ THE MOVIES ARE ON STRIKE! SAG-AFTRA and the WGA are both on strike for a number of reasons, from pay for streaming residuals, to the rights to own your own appearance, to the right to not have AIs trained off your work. So if you've got a few spare pennies, why not chip in to help keep movies from becoming Shit Forever. https://entertainmentcommunity.org/ https://actionnetwork.org/fundraising/the-snacklist-support-striking-workers And if you're in the UK, the UCU could still do with some help https://www.ucu.org.uk/fightingfund ------ Consider supporting us on our reasonably-priced patreon! https://www.patreon.com/killjamesbond ------ *WEB DESIGN ALERT*  Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/   Kill James Bond is hosted by Alice Caldwell-Kelly, Abigail Thorn, and Devon. You can find us at https://killjamesbond.com and https://twitter.com/killjamesbond  

Man, I have seen some shit, brother. I ain't never seen no shit like this. Hello and welcome to another episode of Kill James Bond. I am Alex Kordbroke, Ellie. I'm joined as always by my friends Abigail Thorne and Devon. Hello. How you doing? We're all back. All three of us, finally. That's right.

It's so again. That's right. This is the follow-years of doing it with only two of the triad have ended. But first up, we got to do a statement, a statement which I'm going to deliver entirely off the cuff, which is always a good sign. That's how you want to do your big statements.

Things are happening in the world at the moment. The world is... Most notably, yeah, the world of cinema, located, as we know, in Hollywood, California. Now, in Hollywood, California, the movies that we know and love are made by people. They're made by labor. It's a commodity to commodity involves labor and the labor that makes those movies in this case the rice and the actors are currently on strike against the amp tp the like conglomeration of hollywood studios movie producers. And under that strike anything made under those rules, under those contracts, which they're striking against, which is basically any Hollywood movie since about 1930, that is like struck

work. You can't do anything with it if you are a member of the Screen Actors Guild, SAG After, if you're a member of the RISES Guild of America. Or if you want to be in future. Yes, you can't promote it. And also this applies to anybody who might want to become a member in future, which listeners includes your humble servant Abbey Thorn. That's right. So obviously upon figuring this out several months late,

what we did was we sought some guidance from Sag After and from Equalcy, which is the union that Abby's in, which is not on strike, because it's illegal for them to be without doing a strike ballot. And the conclusion we got is essentially, we're fine, but we don't feel great about covering stuff that no other podcast could be doing,

because we're not Americans, but we're also Americans, you know, we're not, we're also not promoting stuff. Yeah, so our podcast comes under film criticism, which is exempt. Yeah. Yeah, something that will become very apparent during the course of this episode in particular is that we aren't promoting these movies. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I'm saying, do not watch the sea. Do not go and watch Rambo off of this. But yeah, so I think mostly where we come down on it is it doesn't feel good to be doing Hollywood movies and we want to do some sort of like measure of solidarity with the people who make the movies, which are, you know, that we talk about. So what we're doing,

the plan tentatively, as it is, subject to any further guidance coming out, is we're going to finish up Rambo, the franchise, and do a couple more bonus episodes, and then we're going to pivot, we're going to pivot into the season of solidarity, and until the strike is over, until further notice, we're going to try and do as many non-Hollywood, which is at least non-US-made movies as we can. That's right. So give it to him. British films, British films, things like this. New Zealanders.

We're going to have to fill up my sleeves. We can go partially, though, not entirely Japanese. Listen, long time listeners, we'll know all of the movies that I tend to like, they're all fine. I can bring the fucking Hong Kong Kung Fu shit. Oh no worries. We're all playing to our strengths in different ways. You can bring the Hong Kong Kung Foo shit. Abby can make us all watch anime and I can do the introductory studies in French film course that I've always wanted to teach. Dev course at Make a Swat Island. I'll follow you.

So this is our big solidarity gesture that is honestly not that difficult for us. We're going to be doing that going forward. We're going to try our best. It's quite difficult to work out what isn't struck work, which is why every podcast that actually has to observe this, but really has to, is struggling. We're in the fortunate position of just doing it because we feel like it. And so we're gonna do that, and then we're also gonna look at some ways of materially supporting the strike.

We're gonna try and put some links in the description that you can donate to strike funds, and yeah, we're gonna look into what we can do on our end. But in the meantime, it is like a crucial moment in the business of making films. And if you want making films to continue to be a viable endeavor, then these are the people who are doing it and they need your support. And Lister, if our relationship,

Lister, our part of social relationship means anything to you, then please do support the strikes because as somebody who is just starting out making movies and was just starting to get to a place where it looks like that might actually be a cool thing that I could do in my career, I would really be nice if the industry

did not entirely burn to the fucking ground because it's too much of my eyes. Yeah, I would really like to not be replaced by an AI. I just started this career. I've just started to get roles that are actually cool. So if you would like to see me and more things, please do support this because it is an existential fight for the future of the entire industry.

Absolutely. Yeah, completely great. All right, I think that's the statement. That's the statement. So now, with that in mind, we can talk about a movie. I've been gone for something. Quite intellectual. And moral, the higher-minded. Now let's take a look at Rambo 4. Fuck me, two pieces. Rambo 4.

The quest for Rambo, Rambo universe. Yeah, Rambo 4, the Rambo that's just called Rambo. Rambo 4th blood. Rambo 4th blood. Rambo for the Rambo that's just called Rambo. Rambo for blood. Rambo for blood. Rambo for blood. Which begins with the movie sort of like grabbing you by the lapels and going, listen up, you stupid bastard. Here is what and where Burma is. And we're going to be quite selective about what we tell you.

If you're not familiar, Burma is a kind of reading from the Wikipedia page here, Burma is a country in Southeast Asia, it has a horrific military dictatorship and we start with some like legitimate like shock movies some like, snuff films. Yeah, so it opens with like real footage of a war in Burma, which is like genuinely horrific. I did not need to see that and was quite disturbed, but you can, in certain movies,

use real footage of historical crimes, like judgment at Nuremberg, very famously used real footage, and it is absolutely hiring, but it is used to good effect, and it is like cushioned by the film. This, like, cannot stress enough, the opening shot of this film is like real human beings being killed and mutilated, and it's like, oh, oh. And you know that the payoff for this is going to be a Rambo movie, it's going to be handled with the tax and sensitivity that we've come to expect. Long-long time distance we'll know that I love to analyse a movie as if it was trying to say something

even when it patently was. So like movies that we've talked about in the past that have absolutely nothing to say. I like to analyse them like they're trying to really put forward something. This movie is genuinely trying to put forward something and it fucking sucks at every turn. First and foremost, this doesn't work. Putting real war footage, real war photographs in front of people doesn't ever work. It never has. It didn't work in Vietnam for a number of reasons. There's a John Berger essay about this. It's like, people thought that the photographs of Vietnam War didn't really work to galvanize

the public for a number of reasons. One is they thought people got enured to it. Any other one is a people thought, these guys are very far away. They're not the same as me. It's fine. Neither of these are true. The thing that Berger puts forward is that, for a second, you are caught up by the photograph and you go, oh my god, that's awful. And then you spend the entire rest of the time thinking about your own situation in relation to this, you start thinking about, oh, I must be such an awful person, but I'm not thinking about this all the time, you're flagellate, and then eventually you just stop because it sucks to do that. That's why this doesn't work.

And it's not productive. It's not meaningful. It's not links to anything. Trying to explain via now more photography to an American audience. Imagine John Burke. Really good. Really solid. All right.

Pretty good. Pretty good. We're back, baby. OK. So we get some like some footage of legit war crimes, real war crimes committed by the Burmese military, the Tamador, and a news anchor reading over it says the Karen people, so they mispronounce, they say the Karen people, comprised mostly of poor Christian farmers have been singled out for extermination. Now this is immediately, this is the movie, setting it still out and it's wrong in several

crucial details. This is going to become very important. First of all, and take this apart, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the Karana poor Christian farmers. And not all Christian, right? That's a big split in like Karen sort of like resistance to like Burmese war crimes and the Burmese military dictatorship is some of them are Christian, some of them are Buddhist, some of them are animist. The idea that this is specifically an oppressed group of Christians, right, when on the numbers

at something like 30%, this is a real sort of like, this is a standard for the US evangelical rights in the same way that the Afghan used to be. If we're familiar with a group called the Free Burma Rangers, there's this insane former American Special Forces officer that, like Rambo, called Dave Ubank, who does, by all accounts, pretty good humanitarian work with Korean people and other people who are being genocide and being ethnic clansed by the Burmese military, but explicitly on an evangelical basis. And on the basis that like,

you know, God has sent me here in order to make you Christians in an order to like help you to resist tyranny, right? That's the framework that this movie is taking is that these are people who are oppressed by virtue of being Christians. They are all Christians and that's why they're being oppressed. I was struck reading about this. What is the reason for the actual violence? What is the Australian prices actually, but like there's a little bit more to it. Yeah, no, I was struck by this. I read one thing in a history of Burma that says there are, you know, about a hundred

different ethnic minority groups in Burma and the Burmese military has attempted to ethnically cleanse all of them. Now this most notably recently includes the Rohingya who are Muslims and therefore not in this movie, right? We exhausted our sympathy on Muslims with Rambo 3, but also a whole bunch of different people who live in what is like now constituted as Burma and part of the reason why this is the case is like the long legacy of British colonialism. Burma never really having had a successful democratic government because of like, you know, assassinations upon assassinations and recriminations. But yeah, it's not really, I haven't had this explain to me as like a religious conflict in any meaningful way.

It's an ethnic conflict, it's a national conflict, and I've sort of like heard the current sort of like attempt to resist the Burmese government described like by analogy as being like the Kurds, right? It's not a particularly like religiously inflected fight. It is, however, as the movie correctly says, one of the longest running civil wars, because it's been going since 1948 and then some, depending on how you count. So yes, that's the serious background to all of this. I'm sure I'm butchering some of this, but this is my best-rock election.

It's better than moving the Rambo 4 does. Yeah, unfortunately speaking of butchering, we then cut from the real violence to some gratuitous fictional violence. So an army truck pulls over, and a bunch of prisoners are unloaded, and they are forced to run across a minefield but the guy throws the mines.

It's a right strategy and he chucks the mines in. Well it's not really, I mean, faithfully it's a right strategy and chucks the mines in so they can't see where they are and makes them run through it. But this is violence for the sake of violence for the cinema. I don't like it. Yeah, the practice of fakes are very gruesome. I mean, people get blown up by just to get turned into red chunks, basically. Oh, yeah.

It's very confected. Not to do this cinema sinning about war crimes, but that's not how landmines work, and that's not why they're like bad. It's like for the most part, it's people who don't know that there are, like, are aware that there are landmines in an area, but like they have to live or work there anyway. The point of it is psychological, closer to, you know.

Well, we do meet our villain for the film, a man who I don't think is named, but I referred to him in my notes as Captain Sunglasses. Yes. The leader of these Burmese soldiers who... Oh, he's... Yeah, the bad guy with the movie. He's always wearing sunglasses, that's who you know who he is. And he looks on at this very coldly. He's running the show, but he's not really...

Not really bothered by it. He's named in the credits as Major Tint, but it never comes up and it's never on dialogue. So Sunglasses, is man it is. And then we cut very matter of factly with no sort of build up or anything, which I thought was an interesting choice. We just cut to a boy, Rambo, and it's been, God, how long has it been? It's been what, 20 years since I was eight?

Yeah, he's stayed in Thailand. Yeah, he's still in Thailand. He's using his powers for good. Yeah, older obviously every third person in Thailand is still a Buddhist monk. That's correct. Yes, which I appreciate. That's how you know you're in Thailand. It's like Rambo lives in rural island every third motherfucker is wearing a casak. Yeah. He's he's so fucking big. who is wearing a casak. It's like, yeah. He's so fucking big.

He's so fucking big. And they're filming him like he's a normal guy. Like he's just going about activities and they're filming it. And it's inherently comical because he is colossal. And he's in the country where the average height is about a foot short of an over here. So like even for here, he's colossal,

but he's walking around in Thailand. The man is a Titan. It's crazy. There's a dinosaur. It's a dinosaur. There's an accidental, perfect, like top secret style visual joke, which is when someone comes looking for Rambo inevitably, a guy points him out,

which is, and it cuts across and he's half the frame. How do you miss this man? Yeah. Rambu, Rambu, he's packed in the stick fighting that he used to do. And instead, what he does now is he catches snakes for a snake fighting show. Sure, man. Yeah, the snake that he's capturing off for a show in which a man just like bothers

cobras. Yeah, he just kind of get into a real It doesn't say that you wouldn't watch cobra Barbara. It just irritates the cobras Yeah, I've got like rings. I've got like ring-sensies for cobra anoyer. Yeah Yeah, I mean ours, baby The the best of the show is just like Rambo I need I need more copras. You got to give me more copras. The copras are table five. And Rambo's like, Oh, fuck off.

Yeah. They're like ordering specific snakes off Rambo. Like, He's like, Amazon for snakes. Well, the Amazon for snakes is indeed the Amazon. Oh, crazy. Yeah. I should also say, Rambo is, well, Sylvester Sloan is slurring quite badly. All of his

lines in all of this. And so, like, he would just go, yeah, he's next. And Rambo syndrome is in advanced stages at this point. He's got nothing left. Yeah. He's got tertiary rambosis. Oh. But the, the boss is like, Ramboh, I need, I need, I need two cobras, three ball pythons, a corn snake and a side of fries, and then a tiramisu.

And then I need to run my thing, and I fuck off, I don't want to. I want to break it. It's like I'm done. And then white people arrive. Yes, someone comes in and asks, I, it's not clear what he asks, because it's in the background.

You stick with Ramboh and like these, these guys come in and the background and ask after him. And you asks, it's not clear what he asks, because it's in the background, you stick with Rambo and like these guys come in the background and ask after him. And you're like, hey man, have you seen the biggest fucking guy on earth? Is he around here? I like, yeah, that's him. All right, beautiful. You see this gore-on looking motherfucker?

Yeah. Just Jerome, yeah. See, the thing is, if you're asking after Rambo, you have such an easy fucking job, because you walk into Thailand, you're like, if you're asking after Rambo, you have such an easy fucking job. Because you walk into Thailand, you're like, have you seen Rambo? And I'm like, yes, 100% of you shot the work. Yeah. So these people are soy.

Right. There is a soy guy called Michael Burnett, played by Paul Schultz. And he's like, I'm a pussy. Please take me and my friends over the border into Burma, like on your river boat that you use for snake catching. And Rambo's just like, no, I don't wanna do it. Yeah, he says we are missionaries. We are bringing the medical supplies and prayer books.

We don't have weapons. No, I'm saying. And Rambo's like, which is a problem because the Tamadot have a fucking load of weapons. Yeah,'t have weapons. No. And Rambus like- Which is a problem because the Tamadot have a fucking load of weapons. Yeah, you should really snap this. Yeah, and Rambus like, no, fuck off. You can't change anything what you think you're gonna like pray the situation better in Burma.

And then the guy's like, oh come on, don't you want to help the world? And Rambus is like, I fuck the world. No, there. He goes, yeah. It's a review of the call. However, he does. However, the soy guy does have a woman with him. He goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, anyone tells me it's racially offensive, I'm gonna like walk into the sea. She comes

back to his fucking heart after dark and she's like, but Rambo, all lives massive. This is very close to what he actually says. She's genuinely like, I got to change the world. She's cinema wet in the scene whereas he's fully wet. So he's absolutely soaked to pieces, whereas her clothes are soaked and her face is completely dry. Yeah, yeah. Because I know I don't trust you because you're fucking cinema wet. If you are a real G, you'd be soaked like me. That's true. And she's trying to impose on him in a sort of like earnestly feminine way. But the problem here is that Rambo, Rambo hasn't loved a woman since his Vietnamese girlfriend and he gave her necklace away to a kid who grew up to do 9-11 or kill Nate or whatever.

Like, we don't support that the kid killed Nate. No. It's really unfortunate for us. I should've said trying to kill Nate. Nate has not been killed. No, it's a chance. It's a chance. said trying to kill Nate. Nate is not being killed. No, it's a shame. It's a shame. We're looking for a new editor, really.

That kid that like Rambo gave his like dead Vietnamese girlfriends necklace to statistically is of an age and at a time to have like taken a shot at our producer, right? And Rambo was so wise. I can't shot at our producer, right? And Rambos sort of like, Rambos sort of like, he doesn't have room in his life, like this kind of, this kind of femininity, you know? Rambos like, no, I'm refusing the call.

Then we get another scene of Capture Sun Glass is doing the same thing. The soldiers are like batting on the prisoners. It's more just like, retreat to like, oh, the situation in Burma is really bad. It's more just like, reture to like, oh, the situation in Burma is really bad. It's basically the same scene we saw earlier on. Like, yeah, it looks like it was filmed on the same day. Another one's happening later.

A lot of padding in this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really a lot of padding, because it's like 90 fucking minutes. Like this is not a long-dread to reach that. It's 91 minutes and there is a ton of fat on these fucking bones. Yeah, so she goes back to the, to the missionaries. She goes to the Rambo for, fuck, I forgot about the Rambo for,

Rambo is forging Narsil. Oh my god, he's holding the fucking hammer so far down. Like, what are you doing, man? You're gonna, he's gonna turn himself out. You have to hold it right now. Yeah. Anyway, we finally get the scene where he forges his own knife. They cut it from Rambo three. They wouldn't let him do it. He's doing it now, baby.

That doesn't happen till later. Now, no, no, he's just in, he's just in Rambo for each. So we established that he has a forge. And Sarah comes back to say, hey, can I give you the call to adventure? He's like, no, I'm actually still refusing that, but thank you. Try one more time later. And then we cut, again, more padding. We cut back to this village where Captain Sun glasses is rounding up young boys to turn into a child.

A lot of fucking weird. They won't, they about Rambo doing the thing. Yeah, so Rambo's not doing. Because you don't know Rambo. Yeah, come on. So yeah, he takes some child soldiers and makes some threats. So like again for the third time We've just have was like shoot is bad in Burma. We know. Thank you only only time they bother to like

Subtice all that guy I In the third act of this fucking film. Don't worry. Okay. All right. We'll get that one's Then Rambo goes to the Ramboat Sarah is on the boat. And then it's raining at night, and it's all very dramatic. And then she's like, can I give you the call to her adventure? She's like, no, so fuck off, I'm not doing it. And she's like, look, I'm here to make a difference.

And I want to change the world. And Rambo's like, you can't change the world. People can't change. Violence is always going to happen at Sid on nature. He says peace is an accident. Killing is like really, really easy. Killing is as easy as breathing, which is a good line. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's like the only good line in the movie because the rest of dialogue is like, he delivers it like, which is sort of undercuts. I don't remember that line. Yeah. So Rambos basically just like,

violence is endemic to human age, like go home, live a nice life in the US, like be free, be free of whatever you can. Because you know, I don't care about anybody and she says, you know, you must care. You must care about something because if you didn't care, you would have just taken the money

and then left as there for dead. Or you would have like taken the money, like taken as there for dead. Or you would have taken the money, taken us up the river and then fucked off. You must care. And Rabo's like, okay, fine, I'm accepting the call. That's fucking damn it, all right, fine. I accept the call to the show. This now, the point at which he forged

is the big fucking knife. No, still not, that's not what it was. No, it doesn't do that, yeah. Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, now watch this. This is just like two weeks ago. Yeah, okay. Yeah, first, first out. We watched this movie, expecting to record it maybe four episodes ago. Yeah. I gotta tell you,

I did not find it in my soul to rewatch it. I gave it a real thought and I was like, no. All right, so he takes them up the river. Yeah. We get like a little bit of background about each of the missionaries. One of them, Michael, you know, guy, her husband, he's a Saw kind of doctor. There's a Saw Dentist, there's a Saw, I don't know.

And then she's like, I don't know what she does. Her role is girl. She's a question, she's the girl in the gang. Unfortunately. She's a question, Mr. No, she's the girl in the gang. Unfortunately. She's a white woman. Also, we get this interesting line where she, where she and Rambo have this conversation about like, the USA and Rambo's just like, oh, I actually haven't been back in like,

to where I've not been back since like Rambo. Yes, since like, K-O, like, in thousands of cars. Taken out of prison, I'm probably like, wanted, wanted. Actually, yeah, that's probably not good. I was just statue of limitations on roaring rampage of revenge. Like, is that like 20 years? Yeah. And she says, do you have any family stateside? And he's like, oh, I think my dad might still be alive.

Which is the first before to this guy. My dad used to live in Arizona, I don't know, maybe I'm not been back. She says, oh, you know, it's like really different. You know, like you should consider going back there maybe like 9-11 happened. It's 2008. He's like, I heard about this, gonna have a- I feel bad about maybe helping.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he feels bad because like one, his like adopted son figures like passport was found on the street and that happened. Yeah, but this necklace around was like, that's why he's been staying in Thailand because he's now like, Link, he's gonna go to fucking Guantanamo if he goes back to the US. Brandbo is passport is definitely out of date.

He can't go back. Does he, he doesn't have like Thai citizenship either. He's like a stateless person. So anyway, so they go on the boat, down the river and there's some like lights and some party music after one side and Rambo goes are Burmese river pirates, which I'm reliably informed is not a thing and Okay, these Burmese river pirates Right in kill James If you are going to be a forever pirate, you're listening to this show. Right in, kill James Bond. Yeah.

Yeah. Don't be like, kill James Bond slash contacts. Just let us know. Like, what do you have to? Yeah. So, these Burmese? Look, if you're a Burmese estuary pirate, stop fucking writing in. I'm sick of getting your messages.

We do not want to hear from you. But we think of the pirate's Burmese river pirates own Oxbow Lake. Knock off. If you're in an Oxbow Lake right now, you can fuck right off. There's no two ways of it. I really thought I would have to deal with Oxbow Lake's much more than I've had to in my life.

I learned about him quite often. Yeah. Hmm. So these Burmese River pirates, it's their works night out, I guess. Yeah, it's sucking out. They're not really doing any river pirates. I would say if you're doing the river pirates too, like they like they're just yeah one of the things that you need to do and you're doing some river piracy is watch

River Listen to episode kill James Bond man they're distracted yeah, yeah, yeah, and so Rambo's like okay cool. We'll sneak past them in the boat This is not work. One of them looks over from their episode of Kill James Bond and it's like, hey, get them. They have a PT boat, which how did it get there? Why do they? Whatever. Anyway, they pull the thing alongside. And Rambo's like, don't look them in the eyes, or they'll kill you to which I wrote why. I was, yeah, why? To ran a soul for this, I think. Really?

I don't know what that is. Unusual thing to take a fan set. Yeah, so we get some, of course, we get some white woman peril, right, which is that they're going past sort of the like, soy missionaries and the soy missionaries are like They can't make eye contact man. It's listen, it makes them uncomfortable the pirates have scope of phobia They're just they're really shy The scope of phobic Burmese river pie They're really shy. The scope of phobic Burmese river pirates. I'm like, look at me, I make some feel comfortable.

They get triggered and owned because the woman who's in a Sarah, she looks one of them in the eye and that that activates like molestation mode. Yeah, that activates for like rape switch in every one of their heads, which apparently is a team that exists. She never wanted to activate that. But you know, like a woman, brilliant. They're like a woman. A woman. Yeah.

So they're watching more like the same switch. They like menace her and Rambos like don't like this. He's, he's inching closer to going Rambomot. He's nearly Rambomot. Do they, this specifically announced their intention, which is to kidnap Sarah, and if any of the others resist, they'll kill them. And, you know, we, we, we, we summarize the reason they were clear

organizational strategies. That's good management, you know, you keep your subordinates looped in. And, unfortunately for them, Rambo is about to enter Rambo mode, and when they try to kidnap her. All right, all right. So there's a thing, right? Because of John Wick, and because of action movies

of its generation, every can't has to have the ability to do a bunch of very fancy pistol shooting, we have literally never seen Rambo use a pistol before. And I want to know, I want to know where and how and when has Rambo been practicing his Ipsick like John Wick speed shooting while mother fucking shit during his life of Riverine snake fucking he has nothing but time He's been practicing. He's been hanging out. He's got his fast twitch muscle fibers right up there

That's why he's so big. It's all fast twitch. It's crazy. He just put yeah on the snakes. What else? That's a great target. they're very small. Small head. If you can hit a snake, you can hit a guy. I'm saying this. He pulls out his gun and like, thomas, all these motherfuckers off in like, point three of the second. Everyone on the boat is like,

oh, what the fuck, you killed him? And he's like, violence is cool. It's actually sick. That's his, I think that's the thing. He grabs the soy guy by the fucking the pells and like slams him against one of the upright poles and it's just like, it was cool that I did that. And he's like, I just agree. He executes. He executes one of the pirates who is who he's wounded and Rambo executes him on the floor.

And Michael, the soy doctor is really upset. He's like, no, you got girl people and Rambo chokes him and shout at him. Yeah. The Michael Sawidock, the says, I have to report this, which sort of begs the question of to whom. To whom? God. The fucking Burmese River Pirate Cops. Yeah. Who we all rely on these form hate, do not express it.

It's like more of the same guys, but they just have like cop hats. You are a member of the Burmese River Pirate Police, please do write it. If you are a member of the Pirate Police, River Estuar, fucking Estuary Police, fuck off with sick people. This is ostensibly a movie about war crime. Yeah, the fuck. Burmese Estuary Police, we said this, it's all right.

He turns the boats around and he dumps them all back in Thailand and Sarah comes to find him again because he can't have enough fucking heart to heart with this woman and Much like no, he doesn't dump them in Thailand. He leaves them in he leaves them in Burmare of their destination No, you're right. Okay. Yeah, I've confused this The reason why I've confused this is before she gets off, four weeks ago. I thought she did this in a like separate scene on the boat,

but like whatever, she gives him a little crucifix necklace. Yeah, yeah. Which, which we're taking a look at for you. Like women, that's the only way emotional necklace dispensers. This is the only way, so let's just alone when writing a movie, knows how to imply that a woman is taking a shine for someone.

You have to give them a necklace. This is so important in his life, it's giving it a damn, you're right. You just have to go never at this. There's also heavily implies that if in the next Rambo movie, he gives that little crucifix to like, you know, like a girl or something. She's going to do Christian 9-11, 20 years later.

Mexican, which I'm not thrilled about. Mexican night. Yeah. Next one is said in Mexico. It's pretend. Yeah. My God, you are so much to slow, just like, just give it out, Mexican. He wrote both of those. Like, Ram they just be giving out necklaces. I'm running you both of those.

Like, Rambu, he doesn't comment on this. Rambu's not just like, uh, you just be careful where you step. Just like, uh, just for the next 30 seconds, could you just stay here, like, don't go anywhere. And I'm like, wow, what a coincidence, holy shit. Yeah. Well, actually, maybe I don't want this,

like, take this back. Oh. Rambu drops them off in Burma, and they do some missionary shit, which is not yet though. For fuck's sake, ok. Please cut all of the bits where I get the scene wrong. So they walk off to do their missionary shit and Rambow goes on his way back to Thailand and he goes via the boat where the bodies of course. Oh, right. And he has to cover up his murder from the Burmese river pirate cops.

Yeah, that's tough. Oh, gosh. So he burns the body's angrily. He's flashing back to Rambus 12 and 3, mainly two. And then he throws his knife into the river. He's like, I'm sick of violence. Everyone hates me when I do it. I want to be around him anymore.

Yeah. Then the missionaries reach the village. And it's pretty, here we get a scene. Here we got a fucking scene. This scene is, look how nice Christian missionaries are. Yeah. They're doing a TV of the woman at Trackser. She walks through the village.

And like, there's all the other members of her group, which is like, talking to kids, like helping people. She walks past one guy and he fully like takes his glasses off, kneels down to a kid and goes, let's see what I can do for you. And I'm like, yeah, shut up. They're doing physical and spiritual healing because they have some like Bible study classes and I'm writing down. If these people are Christians already and they're being oppressed for being Christians, what do they need? Missionaries are rocking off and going, you ever heard of Jesus and they're like, yes, we are familiar. And again, Sarah's job is just wife. She's like her husband's like fucking

operating on kids or whatever the fucking. She's just like going around. She's just giving her necklaces to everyone. She's just spending out like a broken, broken, rounding machine. Yeah, yeah. Now, oh, why can we talk about that? There's a lot of like wounded kids in the village.

Like before the village gets fucking annihilated Just want to take a note take a moment to know the light. There's those are kids with their legs burn off Like when they're showing us the state of the village again. It's really laying on the gratuitous like horror And that is about to get worse because there's so many women and kids in the village and so many nice white people as well Don't get attached. No the village and so many nice white people as well. Don't get attached. No. So, at this point, we have to do some warcraft. If you remember Rambo 3, the bit with the Soviets, like attack helicopter to the fuck out

of the Afghan village. So, you just clip, you say, at this point, we have to do some warcrafts. I'm, it's time. I know, to clip that. I'll say that at any time. So, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the fucking start mortering the village, right? We get a lot of gore. Yeah, because it's that's the like the bloody mass perk from Fallout 3. Yeah,

yeah. People do just get turned into like chunks of like, of immense. Yeah, but they built to it. I really like that. I think this is a very interesting choice that they made. Does they build to that? Like, the scene starts out and there's an explosion and everyone's like, oh shit, we're getting more to it and people are running around and there's more explosions. And that was like really dying yet. And the first guy to go, remember the guy I just said who kneels down,

takes his glass off and he's like, let's see what I can do for you. He fucking hops like a balloon. And that's the first bit of this that they show. The first violence is the one white guy who they've been like, look how nice this guy is. Explodes just into pink mist. And then they flip the big explosions switch. And I really, we got a lot of switches here with the rapes switch and the big explosions switch. And I really, we've got all those switches here,

with the, you know, the rapes switch, and the Rambo switch, and the explosions switch. Um, the stop branch at the bottom. I could talk about this scene for about an hour and a half, right? Because it's fascinatingly, serially violent in a way that like, you know, it isn't meaningfully violence even, it's just

go. Like the amount of stuff, it's so desperate to like push like violence and like the effect of violence on you, that it sort of like it degenerates completely, it loses all sense of like meaning or coherence until you're just it becomes honestly and I swear to God this is like I come by this feeling absolutely from a place of absolute sincerity. This scene is really funny and it's a scene about like war crimes happening. Funny. There's there are points right because you get overwhelmed it the they're trying to

show ultraviolence but they're trying to show ultraviolence, but they're trying to show it sincerely. And there's no real way to do that. There are ways to do that. People have made better films that actually get violence across well. But this one, all they have is gore and props. So all they're doing is just like splattering guys.

And it so many dudes like splattering guys. And it... So many dudes get splattered too, the other... It feels like one of those comedians is just like, you're triggered. And it's like, I am actually upset by what you're doing, but also it's kind of pathetic. Like, children get shot and we have like shown this. Like, there's a guy running with a baby in his arms

and like, he gets shot from behind in the bullet, goes to both of them. Like, people get set on fire, women get clubbed to death, it just goes on and on and on and it's become the bike. To the point that there's a fatigue. There's no death or texture in any of this, which means you don't feel any of it.

Instead, it's the opposite. There's a bit where, so she's running through the village, this whole scene is her escaping the village, right? And there's a bit where a kid gets blown to shreds by a mortar and she goes, no. And at that point, I started laughing and I kind of didn't really stop for the rest of it because it's like, it's such a disconnect and it was so poorly acted. It just sort of like, it became like a sort of a parody of itself.

Something happened to editing between Rambo 3 and this one, because it's so staccato. Like no shot breathes, three in a second, it's just like violence cut, violence cut, violence cut, violence cut. Someone slams a kid into a fucking tree by holding the legs and it's like at this point there's nothing left in me and I'm just like looking at this and going okay someone throws a stansely throws a child into a burning building but it's a doll and it pirouettes so so nicely and it's so obviously and there's such a cut and then it's so obviously a doll after that. Oh, it's the kind of shit you can only do

if you think you're like saying something by doing it. Yeah. And the thing is, they really, really think they're saying something, but there's no deliberation or hesitation in a way that would make any of this work. There's no sort of texture to it. It's just sort of like things running together. Like if you sort of passed this as it's presented, the Burmese military have

started firing mortars at a village and then immediately sprinting into their own mortar fire to go and like, bayonet children into fires. And it just sort of, it just, Oh, this phone reminds me. What does it remind you of? The room in that it is absolutely sincere and yeah, awfully executed. It's 100 cents in sheer. That's the worst part, we'll get another.

But I did learn something about mortars in the course of this scene though, which is that mortars work this way. Either it hits next to you and you're fine or it hits you and both of your legs fall off. And this happens. That's what I was talking about.

From the early 50s. That's what I was talking about. And the first time you're like, oh damn, okay. The 50th time you see an extra CGI legs blow off. It just, it stops making an impact. And it's just like, okay, we're just doing more of this now. The reason why it feels ridiculous is because they don't do any humanizing moments at all.

Like it's just violence upon violence upon violence. Like if you were actually, you know, if God forbid, if you were experiencing something like this, like, there would be other emotions than just like pain, fear, like, it's, it's nothing. It's nothing. It's, it's garbage. It's the worst. If you're currently experiencing water fire, please go to Kiltspistone.com. Contact.

Ah, I mean, I don't reply to those emails very quickly. If you are currently experiencing machine gun fires, stop right again. We are sick of hearing from... This is the weirdest, weird, and I'm looking to read. Is it the same guy who's writing it all the time? That Burmese Ripper pirate, yeah. I should also say, in their attempt to convey everything bad that's possible, they do also attempt to include some rape in this, but they're curiously squeamish about that and that they obviously for like, ratings reasons, they cut away from that. But then it's like, it's even more striking

that the next sort of like, you know, 10 minutes of the scene are dudes getting their legs blown off. It's like sort of, it's a really striking double standard, you know, that this is sort of like, this is the kind of violence that's like sacrosanct and has to be sort of like, like, just implied like, this is the kind of violence that's like sacrosanct and has to be sort of like, like just implied. And this is the kind of violence that we're really gonna like zoom in on, you know?

Yeah. And of course, Capture and San Glasses is watching all of this happen. And Sarah is captured and taken back to... We get some sad music, some sad captured white people music, which is gonna be a recurring motif. And John, meanwhile, just not knowing anything about this, John is dreaming about Colonel Sam from the previous Rambo movies, RIP to that actor.

Sadly passed away after Rambo 3 before he could be disgraced by appearing in this nonsense. Do you think, do you think Colonel Sam lived to see 9-11? Is the real question. I think Colonel Sam died of a broken heart on 9-12. Oh. It's what happened to you. OK.

Either that, or he died on 9-10, been like, I've had a great career. I've safeguarded my country after I've been on a real job. America has never been safer and more prosperous than it is right now. I'm out. I think he's overbearing. I think he out. I think he I think he's over there.

Like a good night. He wanted to celebrate the end of a long career by going to Windows on the world. Um, and he picked a really bad day to do it. A US policy maker and dying in 2000 must have been the greatest life of all time. Just like sorted. Oh, yeah. I'm done. Just cash out.

I just cash me out. Yeah. Francis Fuki, it. Oh yeah, I'm done. Just cash out. Just cash me out, yeah. Francis Fukuyama, like, put his feet up and taking a big drink of coffee. No, I'm nine, ten, like. Ah! Reckon, that's history over. Because we're playing Rambo 3 again.

The Rambo 3 CIA guy who's like, hey, Bestie, Colonel, Trautman has been captured is here played by some other fucking guy. Yeah, he shows up and is like, he's a pastor in fact. Yeah, he's the he's like boss missionary and he's like, Rambo cannot believe what has happened since you fucking left other Which would you mind going up there and getting my guys back? Yeah, we hired some mercenaries. Yeah,. He says to Rambo, I've hired some mercenaries because I'm a pastor and that's the sort of thing I do. Please, can you just guide

the mercenaries to the same place you dropped the missionaries and that'll be it? And then Rambo's like, yeah, okay, sure. I'm guessing I'm back. Let me go to my brooding forge. Yes, he forges a new knife whilst this guy pounds. He forges a new knife. Well, he does. It's more of a, he gets a billet and he heats it up to about red and he draws it out exactly three inches and then quenches it. Now, what the fuck are you doing? What are you doing? He's doing the like, he's doing the forged and fire like, skin's knife making. This will not kill. What are you doing?

He makes, he makes a kind of machete, I guess. But while he's doing it, he's doing, he's like brooding to himself. And I have my very first Rambo for drop, which is, you didn't kill for your country. to himself and I have my very first Rambo 4 drop, which is... You didn't kill for your country. You killed for yourself. Which is interesting, right?

That could be a real so like emotional crux, is like... Because from Rambo 1 to Rambo 2 to Rambo 3 to this, you didn't kill for your country is like an interesting moment of self-realization. And it's like, all right, cool, fuck America then. You were right in Rambo 1 when you were like, man, this place is terrible. And I hate it. And maybe that's why you just kind of stuck around reinvading Vietnam and Afghanistan. This does not last. It's just a sort of like passing moment where he's like, nah, I do it because I like it. Bye. Then we meet our gang of mercenaries who are not exactly no. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, because the thing is right, when you're sending mercenaries to Burma,

what you want to do is you want to send the most geese- Englishman as in order to, I mean, I was in Burma. See, precedent. Yeah, yeah, no, that's him actually. He's in this movie. Yeah, the thing is, this scene, they're like, all right, we've got one fucking scene where these guys are going to be talking. We have to make sure they get their entire deal across. And oh boy, do we learn all of these characters' whole deals as they just kind of sit on the boat and just say what their thing is out loud to nobody in turn? Yeah, there's a gang of about four or five missionaries, mercenaries, only two of whom are important. The leader is, I've just got him down as like Mr. S.A.S.

Leave his name as Lewis. I call him Geezer because he's a fucking Geezer, right? Like every time he's on the boat, he's going, I said to him, look mate, that's what you get when you go to trespass and it's a fucking Burma. Fucking Burma, son. Yeah, I do. He's a fucking Burma.

Also known as fucking Myanmar. He's very offensive. He uses like a ableist slurs and like his, his, his Twitch fans are really upset by it. Yeah. Um, there's also his, his younger nicer compatriot. He's just called schoolboy, but I thought of him as schoolboy queue every time. Yeah. He just sort of turns around and says apropos of nothing to Rambo. They call me schoolboy. And I'm like, I shouldn't call you that. What?

I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. That one. I. He's the nice one. I hold out for a nice nickname.

He's the nice one. He's the sniper. He's former SBS. He's the snipe. He's like a nice guy. Nick was holding the menu, which should call me off guard the entire time. I was going to say he looks a bit like the guy from lost and then the Giza one looks a bit like the the other guy from lost. Yeah, so Giza blames the mercenaries for their own troubles. He's like, fucking God squatters, like getting themselves in trouble.

Yeah, we're going to fuck it and sort this out. Yeah, fucking yeah. So they get to the get to the spot and there's these two local boys there who are like part of the resistance, I guess, who are like, yeah, we'll guide you to the village. We skipped ahead of it. We skipped ahead of it. Right. Because there is some more stuff on the boat, namely that Geese did, like he tests Rambo's

resolve. He's calling him, he's calling him boatman the whole time and he's like, he's calling him boatman the whole time, and he's like, He's calling him boatman. He's a boatman, why can't I have a fucking boat going? He's fucking faster. Okay.

So, yes, so I said, and I said yes today, what I mean is last main line kill James Bond episode, Ramp 03, Nate set out a thing called, like, check off some manga. I want to put forward a separate theory here and this is called big guy blindness, which is when you're in a situation with the biggest man that God has ever created and you're like somehow trying to intimidate him. And Lewis spends

the entire scene like just trying to like intimidate Rambo and it's comical because, no, this isn't small. He's a big guy, but he's like nothing compared to the cheese and Skyrim who try and muggy with like an eye on dagger. We're just standing there and a full day trick. So funny. Also, I should say, in to cut with this, we also get a little bit of stuff about what Sarah's up to. And what Sarah's up to is a kind of perilous torture porn that I think is significantly more twisted than most actual pornography. But she's sort of like being racially menaced by the existence of Burmese dudes. She's like tied up in a pigstie and she's sort of like the guys

walking around on the floorboards are like above her and it's just sort of like really gratuitous and weird and sort of like the the the air is sexual threat but again we're not like making that explicit even though we kind of made it explicit in the way that we cut away from in the village when we did it. Let's be clear, the sexual threat here is that there are men of color walking around. Yeah, that's what it's like. That's what it's like.

Mm-hmm. And so, so John drops them off at the same place he left the missionaries. And then there's two local boys who are going to guide them and they said there's 100 soldiers and Giza's like, stay with the boat, boatman, he uses some racial slurs. Oh, I have a fucking drop of that.

He gets really like target fixated on the boatman thing. I've ran a couple of lines together because basically this whole scene is him going, right, why don't you wait with a boatman? You stay with a boatman. He's the boatman, he stays with a fucking boat. He really wants him to stay with the fucking boat on account of the boat. He's going like called JW Pepper Mode on these like Burmese guys who help him out. Realistic depiction of British person.

I'm too racist to trust them to look after the boat, so you boatman as the only white man please stay with the boatman boatman. And Jon's like, I'm going gonna come with you and he's like, now stay with the fucking boat and he's like, all right then. Yeah, I should also say that they're like guides, they're current guides, no like uniform or anything, they're just like two kids.

I know uniform, no name, no character, don't worry about it. Yeah, I should say say the current national liberation army was like a emphasis on the army part. Like, that's why there's a civil war. Anyway. Most there is go to the ruins of the village and obviously it's pretty horrific.

People have been headed. That's when we get our title line. I've seen some shit, but I never seen some shit like this and then the other guy goes, word in I really like I mean they do the thing again, and I've seen some shit But I never seen no shit like this word word And the last news like this almost like certainly dead, but like let's go check it out and then fuck off just a tip the box

But the other thing is that they're like horrified, you know, these like, harden mercenaries are like horrified by the shit that the Burmese military has been doing because it's like so far like out of pocket. Listen, not to be like this, you've been in the SIS as like two of these dudes textually have like a decent part of your working career is training people to do that shit. That's what it's for anyway. I hate to say it.

CGI fly technology isn't there in the way that this movie thinks that it is. Cause they got nothing but CGI flies and they look like hot shit and they're really distracting. Oh, they walk past Chekhov's bomb, and the CGI flies and they look like hot shit and they're really distracting. Oh, they walk past Chekhov's bomb, which is a British like massive bomb

that we dropped in the jungle and then just kind of left there and it's leaking high explosive. But whilst they are in the village, the army arrive because they're gonna play their prisoner execution minefield game. And the mercenaries all hide and then they love. They love that shit.

That's like the fucking, that's like the fucking world cop to them Yeah, and that they do it like three times a week, but then the the mercenaries who all hide They realize they're right in the firing line. It's like very tense scene You know the prisoners are being made to run across the minefield and then who appears with his with his bow and arrow But John Q Rambo We've not seen him do Rambo shit. There's a whole fucking movie.

He's got a bow. That's his thing. He's got a fucking bow in the head. He forged that as well. You see him, she's where he had the boat. You see him shooting these people, he shoots them and then you just see him. You're just getting the arrows flying out of nowhere. And then when he jumps into shot, the biggest man I've ever seen in my fucking life holding a bow,

I don't know, I just laughed. That's not the class you are, man. You're clearly a barbarian. What are you doing? Why are you doing stealth archers? Why are you kind of fucking rage at bow? He has to have a sort of a fight with the geezer guy who's like, I don't give a fuck, we gotta go back to the fucking boat. And the way that Rambo resolves this is by holding him at arrow point in a shot that tracks along his arm and makes a very big deal of the like little crucifix that he's now wearing around his wrist instead of his neck. Just to make really explicit. Rambo is like God's Rambo now.

Yes, he's a soldier of God now. That's the main thing about Rambo. So he's like, come on, we're going to go rescue them or at least see whatever's left of them. So they go to Captain Sunglasses' camp. They sneak in on a truck. One of the missionaries has been eaten by pigs. Yeah, like partially eaten. Meanwhile, all of the troops are doing some more sexual menace, but in a way that's like the thing about the boys, right, in the Burmese military, is that they love to watch four women listlessly dance in total silence, and they do this for about an hour and a half, it seems.

I know it says, what is this scene supposed to tell us about the Burmese people, and I don't think I've made another note for 20 minutes. No. There's these four women in not a lot of clothing who are being forced to dance, who are very clearly upset by this, and for the entertainment of Captions on Glasses, men who are like hooting and throwing things at them

and then eventually assaulting them, just wanted to make a note that that is happening in the background of what's happening next, because that's really important. Yeah, it led to no urgency to the rescue attempt whatsoever. No. Or indeed any sort of sense of consequence to the movie, it's just sort of like a thing that happens to establish

that these guys are bad. And also that distracted, which is, yeah, in the course of like, hitting the big rapes which, right? Like one of those dudes sets off a smoke grenade in the, like, cabin that they're in. And I don't know if you've ever like been around a smoke grenade, it's just like,

it's not conducive to like breathing it in, you know? But yeah, anyway, so they like- His sunglasses about to non-subway. Did I understand what the film was showing me? They're showing me. They're showing me. He's gay, and that makes him extra evil. We see him like go into his cabin to like non-subway.

I actually don't know what age, but it doesn't, I think it matters to the movie. I think the point that the movie's making with this is just like this motherfucker gay. He's a gay, beautiful, which is more depraved, yeah. And yeah. John, Rescue's Michael, and then Sarah, schoolboy is like silently taking up people

because he's the sniper. And Sarah is kind of away, at which point Giza's like, leave her behind, we've got enough of them, we've got enough of them and Rambo's like, ooh, I'm gonna go get it. So cool, great. She is about to be raped, it is implied, and then John appears behind the guy.

But I'm only ever implied, we're fully showing that. Within the sort of constraints of the rating system, we're sort of like making that pretty explicit about these other women, not the right one though. Yeah, John Aphor is a guy and stealthily kills him with a knife. Oh, sorry, he actually rips his throat out with his bare hands. His throat out with his bare hands. Sorry, I have to do that. So they've been abandoned by the Giza and his mates.

And so they're sort of left exposed, but schoolboy Q comes back for them. And because he's the sniper, he has the rifle that when it hits you, launches you horizontally about 50 feet. Yeah, no, he's got like a bar at 50. Like what is happening here, man? He's applied Kinesis to some other others.

It's a transfer of kinetic energy. If your body moved with the bullet, it wouldn't hurt. But anyway. The reason I wanted to make a note of those four women early on is because obviously Rambo and Skullboy and Sarah escape the camp, those four women are not rescued. No. No. Never, never like confronted a sort. They do not matter.

Movie has an sexual assault. Just as much prisoners as Sarah is, but they are not important. The movie and presumably just as Christian, by the way, if we've established that about the Koran. Yeah, I wonder if there's anything else about them though that might discount the value of their lives. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, maybe. So this movie loves to... My note here just says, you have a fucking responsibility as a filmmaker to not do this.

I feel like I might have just written that 50 or 60 times and that's the rest of my notes. Yeah. This movie will show you non-white bodies and go look at how devalued these people are. And it's like, yes, by you. You're doing this, you've set up every part of this. You're not being true to life here.

You're being low-summing, disgusting. Yeah, it's barely even the Rambo 3 thing where it's like our Rambo is a friend to all oppressed people. He didn't give a shit. Like he said, actually, he doesn't give a shit. He's just out here for himself. And because he now, you know, is there for Jesus.

Who is presumably white in Rambo's imagination? Yeah. So during this whole camp escape sequence, it's absolutely raining, it's pelting it down. In the morning, everybody's running through the jungle which is very dry. And you know, this one thing we know about the rain forests is that it dries very easily and quickly. Whatever. At this point in my notes say,

Sarah's fur is cut. And I think what I, I think I can't do my hand writing is that Sarah's foot is cut. Because I don't remember her burying fur coat in this scene. For that would have been amazing. No, maybe she was wearing like a big fur coat. I don't know. In the jungle too, she's delicate.

She's going to ruin that fur coat. So my notes running into Cruella here. Sometimes somebody and they've got a fur fetish. There's that happening. They're trying to escape by river. And unfortunately, the plan sort of gets fucked here when they remember that Burma has a Navy. Hmm. Oh shit. So the cats is causing in the Navy.

Also, cats is no glasses. There's a weird gay little walk. Yeah. You like walks like Elma Fudge. I don't know what the fuck that's all about. I'm in possibly know. Very odd. It's really quite homophobic, but in a way that's like baffling to try and explain. Yeah, it's almost like they told this actor,

like, can you please mince and he's gone, what is that? And they've given him like 10 seconds of exploration, he's gone, all right, and this is when he came up with that. That, that actor by the way is Karen. And so like he's depicting sort of like the, you know, genociders of his own people, but the way in which he's been forced to do it with the direction is like gay style,

which I don't know how I feel about that, not good, not positively. Not great. He's a stepson of fucking non-mining, it's his legs shredded. He does. He's a stepson of fucking landmine and gets his legs shredded. He does. Yeah, it's made. Wouldn't have happened to me.

I don't remember what caused me to write this down, but my next note is about to kill more dogs than the ATF. Oh, yeah, they release some dogs. They release some dogs. They do release the dogs. And we know that Rambo from Rambo 1 does not like dogs. So Rambo helps Sarah and schoolboy escape by drawing off the, like, I guess the Burmese army and like firing guns in the air and getting him to chase him.

And then he borrows a claymore from schoolboy and attaches it to the British World War 2 bomb. And like runs away and like blows it up and sees a big distraction. No donkey noises in this one. No donkey's one. No, I had to film. So we're sort of meant to understand that this has taken out fucking hundreds of Burmese soldiers.

The impact on the rest of the film? No, absolutely not. May as well not have bothered. Yeah, because when Sarah and schoolboy get back to the boat, the lads have all been captured. Captur's sunglasses is there. This probably gets some transfer here. We get some... Oh, this is interesting. And actually, like a good combo.

Well, this is... I wrote this down too. Yeah, so because for the Geeseer guy, he's being like, lightly tortured, and he callsosses guy a lady boy cunt begging your pardon, which is an intriguingly racist piece of mis-amed Transphobia, right? Because... Yeah, because... Famously, that's Thailand, which is a different country.

Yeah, no, I mean, you're not meant to sympathize with him at this point, but you also kind of are. It's... I know I said we do serious film criticism earlier. It's deserted me at this point. I got a bit of serious film criticism, if anyone wants to hear some of that. This movie loves to show the sunglasses man yelling, and when it does, it consistently leaves him untranslated. But it translates him at some point, which leads you to, if you are using foreign languages, right, in your movie,

and you're only translating them sometimes, you're admitting that every time you don't, that you're just using it as noise, it gets just part of the scene setting for you. This bad guy's yelling shit into a microphone and it's left untranslated. Like he's coordinating his actions and it's untranslated. He's not a villain of a plan, he's just foreign.

They're just using foreign voices as part of the threat. That's it. Foreign and gay. You're really, yeah, you've really hit a nail on the head that up. Mm-hmm. But just as the gods are about to be executed, who should appear? But John Quentin Rambo, who beheads a man and steals a big gun and starts to...

I have some thoughts about the big gun. Because we have Rambo on what is like a pen tool mounted, M2 Browning machine gun. We have SchoolboyQ with the Barrett M82. And my suggestion is given the return of sort of like absolute gore, but in a sort of like good way, a way that we're meant to feel like positive about, the only thing that this film truly feels anything for is the 50 caliber Browning gun cartridge, because we see it go into a lot of people and we see in a lot of detail,

people get blown apart by it and stuff. And it is absolutely, I can pet the sexual menace of Sarah to be more perverse than pornography. This is absolutely pornographic. This is pornographic. But it's pornographic for people who are ar it's like, it's pornographic for people who are sort of like aroused in them, like,

quite possibly in sexual way, quite possibly in more than in sexual way, by this kind of violence. And, you know, we get a lot of killing, a lot of violence. Sarah, all she does is cry, but, you know, I'd be crying too if I was standing next to an M2 with no hearing protection. And I'd be crying too if I was on a set of Rambo 4. Yeah, crucially, our Soy Jack Dockster. Oh.

Missionary. Now, listeners. It is. So, listeners, if I told you, okay, we've got a Christian missionary who thinks that killing people is always wrong. By the end of the movie, obviously, his arc is he's gonna have to like kill someone

and like commit some violence and learn that actually sometimes it's unavoidable. That's his arc. Okay. Now, what would be the most obvious possible way you could think for a Christian missionary to learn this lesson? Like genuinely, what is your first thought? Obviously, you go, what's Kane enabled? He's gonna kill someone with a rock, but they wouldn't do that because that's incredibly fucking obvious, right? the rock, but they wouldn't do that because that's incredibly fucking obvious, right? At the very least, let him use a hammer and nail in someone. Maybe that's either of that to you on the nose, but now, of course, he beats somebody like Ken and Abel. He beats a guy to death with a rock, right?

It's like, okay, great. Great. I thought you were really clever with that one, didn't you? Yeah, he has to learn independently that killing is good. Killing is based sometimes. That's the apotheosis of my character rock. Thank you. Ranvaful. Is that's the apotheosis of my cat rock. Thank you, Rambafol. And is that also the movies like statement?

Yes, yeah, two movies. Sometimes it rules actually. Yeah, the thing is, the action isn't even good. Like, no, it's not compelling to watch. There's a flame throwaboo. Edit it, like shit, it's choppy, it's sped up. It's shit. Like if you're sacrificing everything just for the action and the action isn't even good,

like you've got nothing. You know the movie within a movie in Anglory Us Bastards? The Nazi propaganda movie where Daniel Bruehl's character is like he's a sniper in a church tower and what seems like the whole movie is like gratuitous incomprehensible shots of him like picking off Soviet soldiers with a sniper rifle. And sort of like Hitler and all the audience like watching this and laughing. You know, that's what this is, that's what that damn that, you know, it's the same. And so finally, Captain Sunglasses makes a run for it. Yeah, the sort of the the Mujahadin arrive in this case and the guys of the the

current national liberation army. Again, just some guys, just some guys with guns, uniforms, boys, you can Google even. The thing, the thing that they do, which is hysterical for any sort of like Student of insurances as they let the army retreat in disorder. They just let them go No the guys who have been that's firing the more to the guys have been bayonething No, no, no one of the civil wars been going on so fucking long Now, one of the civil wars been going on so fucking long, you finished the job. But Katz's robust makes a run for it and of course Rambo appears behind him, like Batman stabs him and then pulls his intestines out.

CGI when he does that is like weirdly really bad. It's all for ya. Considering all the practical stuff they've done, it just looks really bad. It's bad. And it's not a both theorist. These guys have never met each other before. There's nothing here. This is a way I do a false situation.

Yeah, they do have a opposing viewpoint. It's like, who are you? As much as I have contempt for Rambo 3, where Zyzen was just going around being like, who is this Rambo? At least he fucking knew who he was. Yeah, he knew his name. He's been having a time. He's been doing like whatever.

He's been like doing his gale or war crimes. Yeah, and then he just like bits and feats. Fully disemboweled out of nowhere. Also like what ideological polar opposite does he represent to opera antagonists? Like what is, what? Being Burmese. And gay. Yeah, that's genuinely the only thing. polar opposite to see represent to opera antagonist like what is like what being Burmese and get yeah

That's genuinely the only thing so anyway Sarah and Michael reunite and John is like oh good some look I'm gonna go pussy after all um yeah he's like you know that he has learned to kill so she's like you know Did she's relieved respect you now um yeah geezer's dead John walks away and then we get, which comes out of fucking nowhere. So we cut to the USA where Rambo has somehow managed to go despite not having a passport. And he walks up to a mailbox, which is like a ranch in Arizona, and he walks past the mailbox. And we see it has the name Rambo on it. And it's like, oh, he's gone home. And I'm like, what? Is that the completion of a character?

Was that what this is about? Is you going home like this was mentioned once? Like what, how have the events of this film enabled you to return to Arizona? What does return to Arizona mean? The man's a dream. It's already the one of myth, is it? Like, is it?

He refuses to call. He accepts it. Question mark, question mark, question mark, return time. There is one thing I refuses to call, he accepts it, question mark, question mark, question mark, return time. There is one thing I want to know, which is he's dressed in his outfit from first blood, right? His M65 jacket, his like Vietnam outfit. But with one crucial detail, he has taken the big American flag off of his jacket, the one that provoked all of the like bullshit in Rambo

one. And I, yeah, I kind of do too. I don't really think it's saying what they meant it to. I think it is sort of inadvertent, I think it's an inadvertent admission of nihilism, right? That, you know, Rambo, this guy who, like, was a drifter who, you know, stood for, you know, wanting to survive, wanting to get by, and then, you know, whatever fucked Cold War version of, like, the oppressed peoples of the earth, we want to convey in Rambo 2 and 3. He's now just a guy who likes disemboweling people. And you can, you can go home and you can be a normal American, which is an insane thing to think that this guy can be really bad. And that's Rambo 4. Rambo is so much about

masculinity, namely, that you have to kill. Yeah, yeah, it does, which is a really sad, a damaging thing to tell young men, or indeed anyone who believes even falsely that they might be a young man. It's a really nasty message to tell someone that masculinity is about being able and willing to commit violence, and it's not. And against perceived racial inferior.

Yeah, it's far to do that, but also it's like based. It's not based. This movie made me sad. It really made me sad. You know what I think about it. I can read a quote from Silvestis to Lone here. He says, this was an interview later on after a couple of bits later. He says, one film I'm truly proud of, it's the best action film I've ever done because it's the most truthful, is Rambo 4, feeling with Burma. I was really happy with the film.

I never thought I'd reached a theater I thought, and I'm gonna show this, he said, that it did just history capturing the reality of civil wars. And this, I have future choice words, but I can't say them, but the first one is, no, sort of doesn't. I mean, it kind of does in the sense that it's just like violent and pointless and makes you feel bad.

Yeah, but I kind of like, even the sort of like, quite a quite realism of the violence, it's just like, this is a dude getting lost in the sauce. This is an actor who has been playing action heroes who long has forgotten that he's an actor. Yeah. This, I mean, so what's the thesis of the movie? The movie wants you to be like war.

I mean, there's a lot of war going on in Burma and it's bad. But it's not. There are effective anti-war movies that show violence, right? There are like movie, you can make a movie that is anti-war and uses gratuitous violence. You can do that really effectively. It has been done. It's come and see. You don't have to watch it. It's really hard to watch, but it exists. And if you want

this, you can watch it. This movie is more obsessed with spectacle, because it just gets so into the action. It gets into the violence. It takes so long showing you it. It gets over obsessed with it. And then I mean, it's like, it's not come and see, right? It's like, hey, check this out. It's like, hey, fucking like Avagandra this. I think the thesis of the film is genuinely, uh, wars make men of us. And that was literally like the arc words of the villain in my in my show when I wrote the Prince like that that is that is what the villain of the show believes and needs to unlearn and this movie is just like yeah it's true at base actually. I genuinely

think that this is best understood as pornography. I think that that's the sort of the cultural valence of it I think that that's the intent of it. And yeah, I hate it, like, profoundly. But, you know, I don't just have to hate it profoundly. I can hate it numerically, too, because we have a science-based system. I... 10-10-10-10. Well... Cross the board. Well, I don't know about that. So, we have the scum system, which stands for SMARM, Cultural and Sensitivity, Unproven, I think it's going to probably, it's scored pretty high to later on,

but I think the ass for SMARM might save it because I don't think there's a particularly SMARMy movie. You're fool. All the dialogue is so movie. Everything that Rambo is saying about, like hang on, let me just pour some love. I'm a fine person. If you don't stand for something,

you'll die for nothing, I think, is who calls them, I'm a fine person. If you don't stand for something, you'll die for nothing, I think is one of them. When you're pushed, killings is easy as breathing. It's got a wikikwot.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.r.rambod.r.ambod.r.rambod.rambod.rambod.rambod.r.rambod.r.ambod.r.r.ambod.r.ambod.rambod.r.rambod.r.ambod.r.ambod.r.ambod.r.r.ambod.r.ambod.r.rambod.r.amb.r.r.r.ambod.r.ambod.r.ambod.rambod.r.amb.r.rambod.r.r.ambod.r.rambod.r.r.ambod.ramb.r.r.rambod.r.ambod.r.amb.r.r.r.rambod.rambod.r.ambod.r.ambod.r.ramb. but it has more, but also I can't back that up because I watched this three weeks ago and I don't remember any of them, but I remember having that sense from it. I would be willing to go like a three or a four on SmartM because you'd write it, does have some of those like movie ass lines, but I don't think it is as SmartMee as like previous Rambo entries.

I think two and three were really, really smart-y. To compromise, compromise Candidate and say three. Okay, let me throw this at you. How proud of itself is this movie? Because all of the decisions that were made in the production of this movie feel to me like someone who is like, we have something to say and we're just doing nothing but saying it. There's a movie that thinks it has a colossal point to make and is making it so often and so self-assuredly and pleasantly that I find the whole the whole valence of the movie to be

smarmy. That's a good point, so you're viewing smarmas not just as inherent to dialogue, but in fact to like, oh yeah, okay, I can see. We've definitely mid-bonds, we asked the question, how pleased with itself is this movie? Yes, I think you're right. You know, this interpretation is grounded in the history and tradition of the people that I would have thought.

I'm a totalist, no, it's half-bend. I'm a fond, I'm a homologous. In that case, you know, considering how pleased with itself the movie is, yeah, I could definitely see scoring it higher, like a six, maybe. I think you could certainly describe a lot of the like righteous violence as being filmed

in a way that is deeply smarmy. Like when it shows a guy get disemboweled, sort of like at great length and is like check this shit out, I think that's very pleased with itself. You're right, yeah, you're right. I think you're okay. You think you talked me around there. I could go as high as a six or a seven for that. Alright, seven. I've sort of okay. You think you talked me around there. I could go as high as a six or a seven for that. All right, seven.

I've sort of like really been a bell whether they're I exceeded to both sort of like interpretations of Sma'am immediately. Controllers are so stupid. I think you've won me round that, I think that's some good fucking, some good, some good scholarship that's some good podcasting.

Thank you so much. Where's the serious film critics on this podcast? We are. Controllers are so stupid. 10. 10. Great question. 10. 10. 10. 10. Great question.

10. 10. 10. 10. Yeah. We just awful the sheer devaluation on, on come. Especially your point, Devin, about like the untranslated dialogue that's just used this like foreign noise.

Yeah, especially when it's the main villain of your movie. Yeah, it's just, it's not great. So do you. Yeah, he's a whole deal is foreign. Yeah, that's the only thing that separates him meaningfully for Rambo is he's foreign. I'm just trying to think about what the other Rambo's would have been like if he just hadn't

translated like any of the Russians, for instance. If they'd just been like torture, if they'd been like electrocuting the shit out of his balls in like Rambo first blood part two, and they'd just been speaking Russian the whole time, that would be, yeah, perversally someone's wrong. You swatted around, right. You make a movie,

released in a Burmese market, and it's Rambo one, and Rambo is speaking like a Burmese dialect, whereas the sheriff is just saying gobbledygoug like he has no idea. Yeah, yeah. Just like America. Yeah, I just bet in my heart that there's a really cool like Burmese poster for first blood out there.

But so we gave Rambo to a 10 out of 10 for cultural insensitivity. Ooh, okay. And I think this is actually worse. I think it is, yeah. 11. I'm not willing to... He's going to 11. He's going to 11.

What is the highest number we've ever given something in a single category? We've never given anything more than 10 because it's supposed to be out of seven and 10 is supposed to be an extreme situation. I don't think we shouldn't leave it as a decimal cap. Yeah, all right, 10 it is. Couldn't possibly score any higher.

Um, unprofessional. You wanna know that this movie's fucking problem is that it shoots all violence the same. It has one fucking paper. Yeah, the violence you're supposed to find unattractive and like disgusting is shot exactly the same as the violence that you're supposed to think is cool. That's where a fucking falls down.

They even use the same mortars. I forgot about this, but there's a bit where the correns use the same mortars to attack the army and it's like the same dudes getting their legs blown off. And you're like, this time it's good. Yeah. Yay. Yeah, because it's being done against people who aren't might yet tan. Yeah.

Number one, people getting their legs blown off and it's like, oh no. And the second time people are in their legs blown off and it's like, oh no, in the second time, people are getting their legs blown off and it's like, childyea.wav. Like, it's racist both coming and going and that it's both, like, both times, it's being called largely the people who aren't white, but like, I turn that down and put it in when I said it was.

It's racism. Yeah. So misogyny then, 10. Wow, 10. Wow, to be fair, let's dig about this. That's the soundwriters. Okay, the non-white women that are just abandoned in the camp on the way out. Yeah, sexual's definitely count. That definitely counts. Sexual threat is used.

Sexual assault for non-white women, sexual menace for white women, but that is portrayed more seriously and more threateningly. No non-white woman has a speaking role. Yeah, the way that the role of the female character is to be nurturing and loving and I think you care. And I think so much could have been improved had just one of the mercenaries been a woman. We just had one tough girl, one like Ramirez, one shaved head, muscular girl, and that would have been... You keep the geezer exactly the same but gender swap her? Yeah, just any other role for woman other than either like victim of sexual assault or like I'm here to be nurturing and kind and teach you how to love again. It's female Gizaer is played by Helen Mirren.

Just as an actress it's boring. Well then anything. Oh yeah, there's nothing to do. It's boring and it's offensive. Mm-hmm. Are there any other women even in this? No. It does.

It does. It does. It does. It's like a radical theatrical deconstruction where we adapt Rambo for the stage with an all female cast. I would fucking love to see that. That would actually genuinely be sick. I think we should do that actually.

Copyright copy. Listen, if you ever want me to be on my extremely annoying like a sort of playwright shit, I'll knock that out for you. Check out the girl's Twitter for the thread of her trying to acquire the rights to Rambo. Yes, I call 60 people trying to get the thing the Rambo. Rambo and we will adapt it for the stage.

Yeah. Rambo the musical, that'd be great. Rambo the popper. Yeah. Oh God. Rambo post electric play anyway. So yeah, misogyny, I, I, again, I'm holding out for a tan. I don't think it's the most misogynyistic film we've ever seen. What do you think is? What's our highest rated? Probably Goldfinger. Misogyny, we definitely should have like that. Goldfinger does have a corrective right, yeah. That is true. Oh, that is true. We definitely should have like a gold finger. Gold finger does have a corrective right. Yeah.

That is true. Oh, that is true. We gave that a nine, I think, on misogyny. I honestly think it might be worse than gold finger in some ways, but I think we can give it equal billing. I think we can give it a nine. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, that's true.

Does it, do we want to give it a Saturday? It must also. Rambo 5, tens across the board, I want to. But the reason I think, Nine, is that I think there's a peculiar interaction of sort of like, of misogyny and cultural uncertainty of misogyny racism to be clear. Yes, yeah, yeah. That isn't present in gold fingerin that I think we would be remiss not to include. Yeah, I'm happy to give it a nine if you are. Yeah, well, nice.

All right, that gives it a total score of 36. I was holding out for that 40, which means that Rambour 4 is the worst movie we have ever seen on the podcast. Blowing out of the water, our previous winners, which were tied, a topic blonde, a live and let die, and Austin Powers 3. A really interesting topic. They're all sitting joint on 28, but Rambo for the new worst film we've ever seen on 36, truly, exe-cecruable crime against cinema. It's entirely marited, is the thing. Yeah, it is like a pro-

Oh, it's evidently fascist movie. Yeah, I like spiritually, I agree. Like this is the worst film we've seen on the podcast. No, it's awful. It's horrible time watch it. This is the movie so bad that when I watched it, I felt it necessary to provide like content warnings in the group chat. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, which we didn't provide for any of you. You don't

get those just us. I'm going to put them in the description. Don't fucking worry about that. Yeah, it made me feel awful watching this film and I'm sad that I wasted my time on it. You know what I want to put in the description for this. I want to put in some donation links for like Karen Refugee and healthcare stuff. I want to do that. It'll be in there with the sag after stuff and you see me as well, actually, really needs a bit of money. No, let's fuck it, that'll be in there too. This is the worst I've ever felt having watched a film on this podcast, like I don't know, even when the film is bad or offensive normally, it's like, oh, fuck off, but this one I'm genuinely

like, oh, this left me actually feeling bad. It's because he reckons he's doing a great job of it. That's the bit that like really makes it. So, it leaves a really bad taste of my mouth too. But only remains for me to say thank you for listening. We have a Patreon after you've hit all of those donation links, you can subscribe to it. We are gonna do another bonus episode.

The next one is going to be superco, to be sort of much of a muchness with Copland. We're going to do one more Rambo, one more bonus episode, and then we enter the season of Solidarity. That's right. So, look out for that. In the meantime, goodbye. See you. Do I have the right to it, wasn't it?

I was in Burma. There we go. That, and the meantime, goodbye. See ya. Do I have the right to run there? I always feel Burma. There we go. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Thank you for listening to yet another episode of Kill James Bond. I'm quite genuinely drunk. We recorded a double bill, we did Rambo 4 and the next bonus episode, which is Serbco, and we did those as a double bill from 7 until 11pm on a Sunday evening. So obviously I've been drinking. But, now this is a free episode, which means that if you're hearing this, you may not necessarily

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