Upstream - S2E4: Patriot Games

Episode Date: July 20, 2022

Kill James Bond enters into another long-term beef with a named person, as we return.... to Jack Ryan. This time, retired CIA analyst Jack Ryan (Harrison Ford) faces off against a rogue element of the IRA, after getting himself embroiled in an assassination attempt against a royal when on holiday in London. Irish Sean Bean swears revenge against him for killing his little brother, and hunts him down across America. the American release for this nearly had the tagline 'there has never been a terrorist attack on American soil', which they got rid of because it seemed like too much of a challenge. Find bonus episodes at our reasonably-priced patreon! https://www.patreon.com/killjamesbond   *WEB DESIGN ALERT*  Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/   Find us at https://killjamesbond.com and https://twitter.com/killjamesbond

Time of the morning, Tia, and welcome to the Kill James Bond podcast. I am Abigail Othorn. Joining me is Alice O. Kultweller O'Kelly and O. Devon. We are the HADT! I am broadcasting. I have a pig under one hand. I have a pipe bomb and some whiskey in the other. I'm very Catholic and I'm ready to talk about a film that very accurately depicts the Irish people as far as I know. I'm wearing a huge green hat.

I'm kissing the Blanney's stone. I'm waving hello to the Loch Messe Monster. And... TAAA! To be sure, I, to be sure. They've sung. And that's how the movie is made. They've sung! And that does not make for the best analysis.

Even if you knew something about terrorism, what you do not... Hello and welcome to the Cultural Incentive, the hour. We were so aptly introduced there. Yeah, she's not Irish. Oh, for sure. She's not Irish. Me when I talk to any of my Irish family, it's another episode of Kill Jack Ryan, I guess, is what we're doing now.

We watched, we watched Patriot games, the one where they forced, um, uh, fucking, what's his name? Harrison Ford. Harrison Ford? No, no, no, the guy, the last guy, Humphoradoctober guy, Alec Baldwin. Alec Baldwin. Yeah, so we're watching Patriot games, the one they forced Alec Baldwin out of the role, uh, because he wanted to do street car name desire on Broadway. Uh, and so they used that to leave a hymn out of the role and put Harrison Ford in.

Uh, Ford. Probably a good choice, honestly, on Alec Baldwin's part. I'll be completely answer you. Yeah, he really dodged a bullet on this movie. I mean, if you get to be replaced by somebody like, Harrison Ford is, yeah, fair enough. I wouldn't be offended if you guys kicked me off the podcast and replaced me with Harrison Ford.

Like, I'd be like, okay, fair enough, you know what? If you can get him, yeah. Plus, you know, you get to do street car and Broadway, so it's all good. And also, you don't have to be in a film that's extremely racist against the Irish. That's right. And you know that this film is racist against the Irish,

because it begins with the sort of like clannered sort of like sort of mournful, folks singing, over the flute, low with a fiddle. And you're just like, oh, okay, I got to see what we're doing here. My earnest belief is that they had an expert on the IRA on board on this, so that could be like, is this something the IRA would do to him?

And if he went, no, there would be like, perfect printer. Well, they kind of did because as much as Tom Clancy was very much like my opening drop, not an expert on terrorism. And as much as his book, Patriot Games, is both more racist than this in many ways, and also pretty inaccurate. He hated this movie. He disavowed this movie.

He wanted nothing to do with it. He wanted his name off of it, even. I got it. And so, no, basically they did have a sort of IRA advisor in the form of Tom Clancy, this, you know, 60-something year old former insurance adjuster. The thing about Tom Clancy, right? And I'll just say this since we're doing a bunch of adaptations of his novels, is that much like me, he was an army nerd who was not led into the army because his eyesight was too

bad. And on behalf of us blind weirdos, to any recruiting organization anywhere in the world, if you don't let us in, if you don't let us into the military, will you take our revenge on the world by making fucking books or podcasts or whatever the fuck else? You have to do it, you have to let us in the military otherwise this is what happens, you get killed Jack Ryan or you get paid for your chance. Honestly.

Yeah, no. Yeah, it's probably worth restating our introduction to Tom Clancy and the Jack Ryan because this is not the first film in the series because we already did the first film in the series, Hunt for Red October, on the free date last year. Bakaru, big son of a bitch. You know, I hunt for Red October.

That's... I hunt for Red October. But so... Jack Ryan, if you're not familiar, the gist of him is that he's a CIA analyst. He's not a field guy. He looks at like computers and he, you know, fucking analyzes intelligence and generates intelligence, right? Yes.

But at the point of this movie, he's retired. He has quit the CIA. He's left his extremely windswept looking house in Maryland to go and deliver a speech in London. He works with the US Naval Academy. He teaches history. And they've recast his wife. Yeah, they've recast his wife.

His wife is in Gates McFadden anymore. His wife, the actress who plays his wife does a great job with this, but I. His wife is in Gates McFadden anymore. His wife, the actress who plays his wife does a great job with this, but I'm like, why is Gates McFadden? Yeah, she's an archer, I want to say. Gates McFadden is probably busy doing Star Trek. Mm, but he has a wife, he has a daughter, and they take your family vacation

to a focky old lightfall London England. And let me tell you, he looks like shit. This is what I was about to say is if three days of the Condor is sort of like archival piece of 70s New York, this is perfect. 80s London in that everything looks fucking terrible. It looks so atrocious, honest to God. Like the color grading everyone tick off the kill James Bond being go sheet, Devon mentions color grading. Grayish shit I've ever seen in my life and you know what? Perfect spot.

Yeah we deserve it. The other thing this movie wants you to know is how hot Jack Ryan's wife is. That's right. Like they really kind of draw attention to that. She like gets them champagne and candles so you're just like this guy. Bucks. Yeah it's, it's quite nice. So they're on this holiday whilst he's giving the speech to the Royal Naval Academy, but then they put their little girl to bed in the hotel room and then the wife orders champagne

and like, has candles and stuff. And it's just quite nice to see like a woman owning her sexuality, like in particular, like in the context of like a nice, happy relationship. Yeah, sure, it's cool. It's really sweet actually., it made me, it made me invested in their family dynamic. But then he finishes his speech, which is essentially, you know, climb the mountain of conflict under the ship, all of this shit. He goes to meet them in central London on the more,

and Sean Bean strikes the movie. For exclamation points, and I mentioned that he does. Sean O'Bean. Oh, let me talk about Sean O'Bean. This is not a well-known fact, but there are no actors from Ireland. And so they just try to occur there. There's actually, people don't talk about this.

Yeah, Irish are like, they do really understand metaphor and pretend. They're people don't talk about this. Yeah, Irish are like, they don't really understand metaphor and pretend. They're like fucking aliens from Galaxy Quest. Yeah, exactly. And like, there's not a lot of sort of, it's actually a big cultural taboo in Ireland to act in a film. So, well, to be fair, Patrick, like, some Patrick drove all of the actors out of Ireland. Like, there's no access there because it was never connected to the mainland in the same way that England was. So, yeah, instead, you just have, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, You made your rod and party boy, we've sure him fast. He's like this the whole movie.

It's just like... Yeah, Sean Bean has a very strong Sheffield accent and has his whole life. I think the fact that a lot of the quarter court Irish roles in this are just English people is an example of the fact that at this time in British film and less so now, but still very much the case, if you are an actor and you didn't go to one of like three elite drama schools, you will simply not have a career. So like, yeah, all these actors that are like Lambda, Radha, they went to like the best places because that's what you have to do to be

in films. Yeah, but so Sean Been is preparing his his young brother, his kid brother, Paddy to do a bit of terrorism. Because what does London have? It has the guards with the silly hats. It does. Who are they guarding the royal family? And so royal car. This is, I think it's a dianna. It's a sticks royal, you could possibly imagine. The thing is in the novel, it's dianna and Charles. Royal you could possibly imagine. Well, the thing is in the novel it's Diana and Charles, right? Yeah.

But because that's too controversial for Hollywood and because they, you know, I think Diana might have died. Well, I don't know. But who? Yeah. Well, even so, they make a guy up. They make a guy up. Lord Holmes, the Queen Mother's cousin,

sort of like a Royal you could no one could possibly be offended by. And so the IRA, or so we believe, attack Lord Holmes's car in front of Jack Ryan. And he like pushes his wife and kid to safety and immediately enters the situation. He like grabs one guy, shoves him up against the car, takes his gun, he kills like three people. Including Paddy. He kills Sean Bean's brother in front of him. Yes. Sean Bean is disarmed and arrested, but he sees Jack Ryan kill his brother in front of him. And this sets off the traditional inherent biological Irish urge to blood feud, which this movie really, really just relishes.

Very vengeful people. Yeah, absolutely. Because the thing about Ireland is that after the Warring States period, there was a samurai cast that emerged that had a code of honor, which required the insults and sort of like family hostility had to be avenged. Oh yeah. Yeah, so, you know, that's what Sean Bean is doing. He's just...

Sean Bean also at the start of this movie, a phenomenal mullet. Just... Right, love it. I have to see it. Jack is shot in the shoulder slightly, and then after waiting 14 hours for an ambulance, he's rushed to hospital. Well, this is the thing, right?

The police don't even show up. The guards can't even call him, come and break it up. This is before police were invented, so they had to do all of that themselves. What's important is that American audiences, and this will be the thrust of a lot of my Criticisms of this movie is that it's made for American audiences

Who are as we know idiot dipships who don't understand anything? So one of the major things that this movie wants to drive home is the British cops are kinder purses Yes, and I never have a gun never no matter what it's sort of in the novel too, is that like the British security forces, the British state are always sort of bumbling affably into a sort of multi-decade occupation of Northern Ireland. Yes. Also, this movie and the novel, in fact, are bizarrely invested in the reputation of

the God's division. Like there's a bit where like one of them is standing out outside Buckingham Palace and Ryan's wife literally like tells her child and by extension the camera. Hey, this guy is like a professional soldier. He just can't smile. It looks kind of silly, but the English have their ways. Yeah, she turns to the camera and goes respect the troops. That's right. All troops.

All troops, both sides, all the time. So yeah, he gets shot, he gets rushed to hospital in the shittiest looking ambulance ever through this like grayscale at London. That's right, baby. I just love to see a film that like really accepts that London looks like complete shit. That's true. Yeah. Sean Bean is interrogated.

Yes. And indeed beaten. He's interrogated by a two-man team of British cops. Cop number one, David Threlthorne, also doing a terrible Irish accent, playing detective inspector the Joker. Who are they Sean? He just, he just, who are they Sean? Who are they Sean? And he just kind of like giggles at weird times.

But he, his deal is that he understands the Irish on a code of Bushido because he is also Irish. That's right. But he's, he's, he's also, But he's learned to overcome that. Yeah. We all start out in different places in life. Some of us in Ireland, some of us in England.

But anyway, so he also has his junior there, I think it's the name of Sergeant Holmes. Has his junior inspectors then a guard? Yes. Alan Armstrong. Alan fucking. Playing Armstrong. Oh, and Zanya. Playing Alan Armstrong. fucking Owen's playing Alan Armstrong his opening line is I'd tell you how to out and serve it up to you with chips

Again the English they have strange ways one of one of the greatest character actors in the United Kingdom Just firmly he looks like such a guy He's never gonna be a main man because you see him and you're like, that's Alan Armstrong. I know him for him anywhere. Yeah. He loves to like get into chase scenes and when his plans are full, just scream damn in like a very broad, I think Yorkshire accent. It's great. You're all like throw your hat on the ground and jump on it kind of energy.

Yeah, a real good shit. Look at that. And that's sort of doing good cop, bad cop, where Highland slap sim and cause Maphine and bastard, which is correct. So at least we're laying on the table that like British police are capable of, you know, racism and torture, fine. Good. But in kind of a pussy way, though, it's the thing, that that's the point this movie makes is like,

he slapped him once, and it's like, the point of view in the movie is kind of like, is that it? Mm. It's funny. Sean stays absolutely silent. He doesn't say anything. Oh, by the way, Sean Beans character is called Sean, which is very convenient for us.

Yeah, Sean Miller. But he stays silent. Meanwhile, back in Ireland, we see that this is kind of like a rogue section of the IRA. Yes. And one of them goes back, Kevin, Kevin, the boss goes back to the guys in the IRA and they're like, look, what are you fucking doing? So he talks to not Jerry Adams, who delivers one of the funniest lines in this movie.

A royal family, Kevin. You know that only turns people against us? Yeah, my apps are fucking lootly. Why do they do the IRA love to do is never kill anyone in the royal family? No, never. They've never done it. They never will.

I will point out that in terms of historical prudence, one of the trailers for this movie had the line, there's never been a terrorist attack on American soil. So, you know, it just jolted that one down. That was removed because they decided that sounded too much like a threat invitation. Like a challenge? Yeah, it was. It's going to be a cause 9-11. That's right. To which the response, by the way, is Kevin says, we must strike at the royals in the ruling class and mine is say based. Yeah, obviously being the IRA legally all planning has to be done in the pub.

Yeah, but whether it's like Bayley's or something like that. Yeah, it's O'Dwires. It's literally called O'Dwires. That is even worse. And there's like fiddle music in the distance. Everybody's fucking playing River Dance. Oh, I'll talk about the fucking musical stings in this movie. Yeah, my gosh. No, I'm worried. There are so many times when like an Irish character does something Irishly and there's just like a little flute thing. It's like a general woodwind refrain in the distance.

Yeah. So awful. Again, American audience is are dumb as fuck. So this movie does kind of predict dissident Republicans as the novel did. What Kevin is doing is he is trying to start a faction that sets the IRA and the British to war with each other as if they were until Friday.

And then he's going to sort of rise from their mutual destruction as the acceleration is kind of source. Yeah, it's not like that. Um, but so, so Jerry Adam says, okay, fine, listen, we're going to they're going to straighten this all out with you. Don't worry about it. In the meantime, I have to bang this hot chick, who is across from them. Let me bust. Let me bust. I don't remember which button is on. I'm not even going to try. So he does, right? He takes her back to his room and she shoots him and takes her wig off revealing that she works for Kevin. Women in the IRA. A big red wig.

women in the IRA. A big red wig. Yeah. She does the Which we all want. And that's right. She just has like dark hair underneath because as we find out later, she's not Irish. She's English. We do get to see her in in lingerie, which is kind of like, uh, maybe we didn't need to see

that of the film, but okay. Also the fact, but okay. Also, the fact that- It's a choice. I went women in the IRA exclusively using deception by means of sex, making this movie as progressive as the foreigner. That's right. The moral of which was, less we forget,

Irish women will plant bombs on you. This one, it's Irish women will shoot you in the head with a silence pistol, to which I am only asking when. After that intro? Very soon. Yeah. So Sean Bean Miller is tried, he goes on trial,

and Jack Ryan and his wife get to meet Lord Holmes, who says, oh, congratulations like the queen is gonna make you a knight, like the Queen is going to make you a knight, like KU CVO, right? KCVO, yes. And we also meet one of my favorite actors, Hugh Frazier, who was Lord Wellington in the Sharp series, who is the personal secretary to Lord Holmes. Yeah, he's sort of very super serious, very like sort of.

Oh, thank you terribly. It's how much for saving his Lord to slide. Fantastic actor Hugh Frazier. It's how much fun saving his watch is like. Fantastic, I think. He's a he-fraiser. It's great. In the book, by the way. The little fucking sharp reunion on this set. Yeah. In the book, this is, he meets Prince Charles.

And the description of Prince Charles in that book is so forning. It's really fucking weird. I know. It's strange. But so Ryan has to testify about what he saw and what he did. And we get your classic sort of smug barista-lying scene. Absolutely. Where he goes, there's a true that you simply wandered Americanly into the situation. And then he hits him with the gotcha question, one which we're all being asked constantly.

Are you still, Dr. Ran, in the paid service of the Central Intelligence Agency? Which is meant to be like a ryan just says no, and it just kind of like dissipates. Yeah. It's a nice moment when Jack Ryan says, you know, if I did it over again, I probably wouldn't do the same thing. But we do, we do see that he has some remorse about having killed this kid and Paddy. And he says that in court, but then Sean being kind of expressed his anger at him and it's like, ah, I'm borrowing revenge. Irishly. Yeah, yeah.

You killed my brother. Therefore, I will make it my mission in life to kill you. But they go back to the US. His wife is pregnant. Oh, cool. I'm investing in the story of this family. That's right. Wow.

We see the same woman again, a net, her name is. She goes to a rare book dealer named Koolie. It was also Irish and therefore, you know. Yeah, this movie treats Irish people the same way that live and let die trap black people, which is just like they're all in on a group chat. Yeah, there's literally well, I'll get to that bit and do time. But so she, she tells you I'm thinking of a safe spot. She tells him to plan to break Sean out of prison, which they then do.

We got a nice sort of like three identical convoys leaving the prison in different directions, but because they have an inside it, because they have inside knowledge, they're able to pick which one. Detective Inspector, the Joker is riding with Sean the whole time. Yeah, and the two cop escort,

Niva, which have guns, because they're because he's British. British. The whole time, David Throff was like sort of cackling at him, but he's also like, I understand where the hatred comes from being Irish as I as I myself am also that. I just make no impression on Sean. And of course the IRA, they were the IRA dissidents. They attacked the land. The land to attack the convoy, they bust open the back of the van.

It's cool seeing this, it's really good. Oh, that's all very competently made all the action. Like it's exciting. They bust them out and then Sean executes the two cops and a detective inspector, the Joker. Yes, and at this point, I'd like to put a big pin in the movie because this is the point at which they stop doing anything IRL related the entire movie. Is this like the last thing? You could take every one of these like, this isn't characters and make them any nationality. And it would still basically play out identically. Yeah. When they, when they kill your own like,

girl falls character, they're like, how much did they pay you to work against your own people or something like that? And it's like, hmm. And this is, is he, I mean, for that line to work, he's got to be Catholic, right? But he's like, I'm not sure the movie even knows that line to work, he's got to be Catholic, right? But he's like, I'm not sure the movie even knows that. And I don't know. It's just, it's blundering into this thing of which it knows nothing. And I just, I, or, even if you knew something about terrorism,

what you do not, it's also very notable that like, they don't, the only kind of motivation they bring up is that Sean Beans' father was killed by the Royal Oster Constabulary, but the history of the British occupation of Ireland and causing deliberate famines and suppressing the language and stuff, it doesn't really go into the politics all that much. And I think that makes it a lot more. Lawless unionism makes makes no appearance. It's purely an Irish versus British thing. Everybody lives in Northern Ireland is Irish, which in itself is a hysterically progressive position to take. But they don't like it. And that's why the British have to make them be British. There's a scene set. We book. Well, we don't do that with brutality

because we're all like, oh, I was here. We're just like, we've just like sort of been handed Northern Ireland. Like we found it in a mad old aunt sort of estate sale or something. And it's like, well, I suppose I better hold on to this. Yeah, the idea that we might be like brutal or like execute people without trial

or like try to commit genocide is something that this movie like never really wraps it. It nonsat at a couple of times. There's a bit later on where one of the CIA guys, well, I'll talk about this because so Kevin, Kevin, like, is meant to have this meeting with the IRA where obviously they're going to try and kill him for, you know, for doing this unit laterally. And he outwits them and kills them. Later on, they find the bodies of those hitmen and one of the CIA guys working with Jack Ryan says about it.

That's British soldiers getting out of hand Jack. They're not above it. Not after a hit on the Royal family, which is an insurusting thing. Yes, that is a... Because on the one hand, you get in a Hollywood movie, hey, one of the US's sort of important strategic allies is, you know, Abel and Willing to commit war crimes, sure. However, it's getting out of hand, it's under provocation, and neither of those two... Like, this is...

If they're just finding dead bodies, the closest animalong to that is the shoot to kill policy, which was nothing to do with any provocation. And it was certainly not anyone getting out of hand. It was a directed policy. And that's something that's totally absent from this movie as the idea that the British like had agency in Northern Ireland at any time. It's something that is out of their hands. It's something that can get out of hand. And that to me is very curious. But then James L Jones appears. Yeah, he enters the movie.

James L Jones, sort of your one carryover from the previous movie. Yes. Yeah, the door guy didn't come back. No, no. This is fucked up. So James, James old Jones tells him, that was a great part. Sure, Sean Miller has escaped from custody, because the Brits of Persis come back to the CIA. And, and Ryan says no, because Americans love, you know, since an artist, right? They love the hero refuses the call. Exactly, but they also

love a guy who just goes back to his farm, right? Yeah, yeah, and his wife is like, good, I'm your wife, and I'm pregnant. Yeah, and I'm really hot and I'm smart. I'm an eye doctor. Yeah, I fuck. So, you know, shit, I would go back to England. Hell yeah, I want to marry like a really hot American who fucks and is really clever They put the the dissident Republicans on a boat going we know not where and Sean wants to go and kill Jack Ryan because of his honor Yeah, and Kevin and a net like no absolutely not we have to go do dissident Republican stuff We have to do work. We can't actually just be fucking around on your your revenge thing Meanwhile back in in London Lordhomes is like oh, I won't be intimidated by terrorists and the police like

Somebody must be leaking inside information to the IRA At which point Hugh Fraser is like hello. I'm still in the film I'm very normally now. There's nothing suspicious. There's no need for my character to be here anymore, but I am here. So Jack Brown goes back to teaching at the Naval Academy. He's teaching ancient history, not very well. And his best friend, Samuel L. Jackson, and his the movie. Like playing playing left head and best friend Samuel L. Jackson, and his movie. Yeah, this is playing left-handed commander Samuel L. Jackson.

Uh-huh. That's right. Of young fucking Samuel Jackson. Not really young, but remarkably so. Yeah. He gives him a joke medal, the order of the purple target. Yeah, but we're like interfering. It's quite funny. Yeah, it says shoot me on it. We're like interfering. It's quite funny. Yeah, it's so shoot me on it.

But then when Jack is walking home, he gets followed by sinister Irish music. Yes, he gets like an assassination attempt against him by God's perfect Navy Hymbo. Yeah, he's wearing like a Navy, a Naval Academy sweater that's like four sizes too big. So you can fit a gun under there. Because what happens is that he sees a couple of things that like alert him. He sees the himbo, he sees the cart, which unbeknownst to him has a net net net. And you know, you think that

it's going to be more of a sort of a PTSD fake out thing. You're like, oh shit, he's paranoid now But no, they really are out to get him Because you know if they do it a terrorist attack in the US and blame it on the IRA then it's gonna, you know Help instigate the war that they want so the perfect Navy himbo tries to kill him with a silence pistol gets fucking Airhold by a marine guard at the Naval Academy. And then Jack just leaves. He just gets in his car.

Doesn't even say thank you for saving my life. He gets in his car and drives because he knows his wife is in danger. Right. Because she and the daughter are being followed in a van by Sean Bean. In the 80s, it was legal and it was normal for two guys in a van to just sit outside a school watching it for hours before woken us right back in the day. Yeah, so that's what Sean is doing is he's he's waiting for Mrs Ryan to come and pick up their daughter and then he's gonna chase them on to the freeway and we get sort of a Chase scene and then he's going to chase them onto the freeway. And we get sort of a chase scene that's mostly

about being on the phone. Yeah, mostly about being on a fucking huge mobile phone. Women be on our car phones. To the eye doctor though. That's true, because we know she's an eye surgeon because we see her do it in a kind of, if I gross, seeing my surgery. Yeah, sort of in service of plot now, Jack gives his wife a vaguely threatening phone call

instead of being like, there's just been an attempt on my life and you are also in the same town, so clearly you are additionally in danger. He does like the three days of the condor thing where he just like starts yelling. I'm always getting calls like that from me, though, Dev. Well, to be fair, that's because I keep being attempts on my life. Yeah, and you keep thwarting them easily. Oh, why am I paying these assassins?

So yeah, he does do the three days on the call of a day following me around. When he's just like, leave freeway now, go police station, immediately, daughter, whist. It's just like, you could take your time, I just have a breath. Say the information you need to get across the whole time. He is caning this boxy station wagon down the freeway. It's moving faster than I think that model of car has ever moved in its life.

That's quite fun to watch. Squire tends to see this actually. Like when he's like trying to call her, I can't get a hold of her. And like, yeah, I like it. I am invested in that family. Like, I make no secret of having enjoyed this film. But then Sean being shoot to them and they crash into the lane divider and get seriously bound up.

Hmm, they do. There's, here's the thing, right? We get the scene of him wasting for news in the hospital. We firstly find out that his wife is going to be okay, but his daughter might not be. Yeah, and there's a specific shot that I want to talk about, which is that when we cut to the hospital, when we see the exterior shot of the hospital

and then the interior shot of Ryan worrying, in the interior shot, we are next to the hospital chapel. And in the background, out of focus, but in the center of the frame, is the crucifix of the hospital chapel. And it's just a lovely little bit of cinematography, because it just kind of captures that moment of like tension, of like hope, of prayer, of like, I really hope things are going to be okay. And like, because that's something that you would probably only see in moments of like hope of prayer of like I really hope things are gonna be okay And and like because that's that's something that you would probably only see in moments of like

Distress like hospital chapels are places where people go when they are worried right, man So it's just a beautiful tiny little touch that Fantastic this films this films full of them Go and redress the balance by going to a bunch of hospital japples on just feeling good. Like go into it. Like cheers, man. So psychically neutralize them. Yeah, exactly. Well, this is, yeah, this is the point at which like you, you imagine that he's going to go fully sick, I'm out, right? This is, this is sort of the, the start of the forerunner moment where like, yeah, they took everything from him. They took his family. They took everything from me. no, they took my family.

You think this is the point where he's like, okay, he's lost everything and he's about to go fully sicker mode, but he doesn't, which I do really like. I do too. He just kind of waits for a bit. This is also before the era of feeling like we had to have any kind of a shock factor b, very similar to you, in depicting like former patients in hospital.

If you did this now, it would be, you know, massive fucking prosthetics and makeup and like, 50 tubes in them, but instead it's like mostly carried on the acting, which for me didn't quite work, but happy you really liked this scene, right? Yeah, yeah, I did. So Jack's wife is gonna be okay concussion but like fine the daughter is a bit more banged up and it's they're kind of not really sure and just the shot of the child

like a sleep in the hospital bird's like all banged up and like Ryan watching her through the glass and crying is just so, it's fucking brutal. It really, really got me. I don't know, maybe it's because my family has like little kids in it now, and I just dread to think, you know, if something bad happening to them. But I found this scene really, really affecting,

in particular, a line that we were laughing about before recording our last film. They had to have a response. Like that is, just that line that they had to like take out a piece of their child and like the way that Harrison Ford sells that and the way that he tells that to his wife and then they embrace like is it really really got me. I I loved this bit of a. Maybe maybe there's something wrong with me. I was laughing. I genuinely was. Maybe it's just because I find spleen a funny word.

But I was just like, It kind of is, but also in situations like this, like things that are kind of like absurd, but also horrific do come up. And yeah, I found these scenes. And one moment later on to just be really, really fucking powerful. Well, we see on TV that the, and we have to talk about another Irish guy

because had the own Neil, the Sinn Fein representative in the US, sort of the IRA's bag mountain, someone like the Corseon is outside and he is, disclaiming any responsibility that the IRA was involved, which of course we know they want. He's like offering his sort of, his apologies and his, his anguish and, and, and, and Ryan just sort of looks out of him at the window with this sort of like rage. This movie could have something very interesting to say about rage and about hatred, right? Because there's a bit where he talks to Samuel L. Jackson earlier, privately after he gives him the stupid medal. Where he's like, yeah, no, I just got mad.

I just didn't like seeing it happen in front of me. Just went sicko mode. Yeah, I just went sicko mode. But also, incidentally, imagine being Samuel L. Jackson, you've just given your friend a medal that says, shoot me, and then he has been shot at and his fucking wife and kid have almost been killed. Oh yeah, good point. The hazard of any good bit, I would say, is he just, yeah.

Jack goes back to the CIA and he's like, yo. Yeah, he's like, it's time to go back to the old me and like. I'm back on my bullshit. James O'Jones is going, canter, his name is. He offers up a very reasonable objection, right? Which is, you're fucking A, you're traumatized. B, you don't know anything about this, you know about ships and bullshit like that.

And C, you're just gonna be fucking getting in everyone's way. And that does not make for the best analysis. Even if you knew something about terrorism, which you do not, but, uh, James O'Jones overall, he's like, no, actually, we should, we should, actually, it's based. Yeah. While, while, um, while Jack is in the hospital, we get our, uh, all Irish of the same moment, um, where he sees on the hospital, we get our all Irish of the same moment, where he sees on the TV. I don't

even know what this guy is actually supposed to be, but it's Jerry Adams vaguely, right? This is Pallion Hill, right? Yeah. Who is played by Richard Harris. You might recognize from his Marcus Aurelius in Gladiator and he was the original Dumbledore in Harry Potter, which is baffling to have him be again because Irish actors show it exist. Sinn Fein Dumbledore is a very funny bit. I'm trying to imagine this up. No, it's gone. Just imagine that at home. If you want to imagine Shinnah Dumbledore at home, go, go.

We're practicing disarmament or as we call it, expel-y-arvis. She's not Irish, she's English. Oh, she's English. That was fucking good. Thank you. It was good. I just tried coming out with a fucking Harry Potter Shinnah. I don't say anything, because I couldn't come up with it. I respect yours. Absolutely. Absolutely. Just a fell on the grenade of that bit. Truly, truly. Thank you. And unfortunately, this will be the promo segment as well And we're all gonna be dressed very racistly to the iron

This is like pulling down a big fucking star spank would balac love No, we can't do this but um this guy attempts to apologize to Jack because he's like look we aren't involved in this This is not an IRA thing. If the IRA does something they tend to go, we did this even before or after. But Jack is like, fuck you, fuck the IRA. He's not even like, he's not even like, fuck you. He is like so, so angry. He's so mad.

He's pointing his finger at him and he just says nothing and he just leaves. Right bit of acting. It is so mad. He's pointing his finger at him. And he just says nothing. And he just leaves. Right bit of acting. Like, it is so good. Harrison Ford like fucking brings it in this film. Yeah, he's a good actor. So he does go back to the CIA. Yeah, he does. We see him just at his desk with a big pile of like

island-related papers spread out over the floor. He literally has a map of Ireland up on two screens at once. Just fucking kidding. It's like reading James Joyce. Shit, he's rotating it in his mind. He literally has a map of Ireland up on two screen at once. Just fucking. It's like reading James Joyce shit. He's rotating it in his mind. Rotating an island. It's mine.

That's right. But so what then we just like go to it's like in the fucking in the foreign away. He's just like Google's IRA. Literally. He's the Wikipedia. He's reading the Wikipedia for Ireland being like, I see. And then for green October now.

I burn it. So we'd rather talk about a scene that I can talk about for fucking ages. We go to Belfast because Owens and the IUC have received a tip about a bomb factory. But in order to get there, we have to get through a little scene in Belfast, where just establishing that like checkpoints exist in Belfast, right? In this case, it is two army land drivers pulled across the

road, like one parrow with a rifle, and then there's this hysterical bit where a car drives directly into the checkpoint, like right into it. And you are, you see a man says, and this is verbatim, good morning, sir. Cut the engine, please. May I see some identification please? And it's like, wonderful. Who could be upset about that? I'm pretty sure that's how the whole sort of, that's how that's how the question banner went down, right?

That's, yeah, that's, that's how much banner went down right? That's yeah, that's that's the way we treated the over that Exactly what it was like driving into a checkpoint in Northern Ireland was you got a sir and you Yeah, it really is such like a I don't know anything about the IRA, but here's what I reckon it was like. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, like, good morning, like there's no, they don't like brutalize them or shout at them already going, we can't let any of them for no reason. Like, yeah, excesses, excesses that the British state might do are we could get out of hand a bit and maybe kill some people or we might give you a slap.

Anything more than that, right off the table. Not there's no chance. Yeah. So, just deeply, deeply. So, so Jack's working at the CIA and now he gets PCSD. Yeah, by going into a women's toilet, which related. Yes. The bathroom intruder strikes again. He goes into a woman's bathroom by accident and he sees a woman with red hair and it triggers him. Yeah, we're just putting up a sign up for the women's bathroom that says, no dogs, no trans women, no Irish. Not good. No, no, no, he literally good.

He sees a woman with red hair and he has flashbacks to the second that he saw a net in a fucking Torie-A-Mus-looking wig drive the car past him when that guy was going to assassinate him. Yeah, we are now like Jack. This is a halfway point in the movie. Jack has now become so anti-airish racist that just seeing red hair is A. A Macroville and B. A trigger of PTSD for him. Yeah. Not good. But so also this is accompanied by the fact of him having the revelation in a closed shot that's accompanied by a toilet flushing.

Yes, which will be the... That is such a nice, good one. Which of your short choice? accompanying by a toilet flushing. Yes, which will be the... Yes. Which of your choice? So he's like, wait a second, we need to find this woman and she'll lead us to Kevin. Meanwhile, we see that Sean and the gang have gone to fucking Libya. Yeah, okay. Normal? You're so much liquid.

I don't need to go devam a mode on the history of Libya. I feel like I may well have even done that before. But the great man made River as one of the finest things ever designed by humans. But the thing is, is the Irish Green Book. Yeah, yeah. The thing is, American audiences don't know shit. So the best way to make them realize that someone is a bad guy is to put them in a desert.

That's true. Which is what this movie does, like twice, which I really enjoy, but they've sent the IRA Splinter Group to a training camp in Libya. Sure. Sure. Not enough. I mean, the eye eye got arms from Libya. Like, probably dead. I'd sure find. Yes. Where Kevin tells Sean that actually you didn't kill his family.

You didn't kill right? So I'm like, you thought you did. They're still alive. It's just that she, you know, they had to take out part of a spleen. So you've got like one spleen on your credit, but nothing else. And Sean calls Ryan at home in the night to taunt him. 100 harvest.

Oh, yeah. I have the spleen button. There. The end of the spleen. Oh, spleen, oh, yeah. It's hard to carve like the outline of a spleen onto like an aircraft or something. It's not really.

It doesn't come across. What does a spleen look like, aircraft or something. It's not really, it doesn't come across. What does a spleen look like, even? I don't know. Actually, I'm trying to imagine all of those pancreas. Yeah. We do get another really, really nice moment, though, which is that when Sean calls Ryan at home to taunt him, Ryan has his angry reaction, and it would have been very easy to end the scene there. But instead we see the effect that this has on Ryan's wife, like she's very upset and like Ryan goes and like hugs her and they have this moment where it's clear that this is affecting them in their relationship. It's really

nice that this film like presents their relationship not just as like wife, like some other films that we've reviewed have done. It's nice that the keepers invested in it and like I really did care about this family by the end of the film, which is something that I can't say for every film we watch. Sean calling him at home from Libya. Yeah, it must be. Is he got on the phone in the camp?

Yeah, but anyway, so Sean wants to go back into your avenge. Kevin and I met, like, no, we have to actually do some work for once. Also, you have to get undercover because there's a satellite that goes over at these times, which we know and we've got to hide. Yeah, it's decent, come see. Yeah, it's fine. Ryan, then, thanks about this for a minute. Ryan goes to a bar.

Oh God, tell me about the bar. He thinks about this for a second. He touches his forehead on both sides, and he's like, where'd Irish people go? And he goes to the most chain-looking Irish pub in the fucking, well, he goes to shamelessly doolahans on Main Street, right? And he can't do that.

There would be any real Irish people in this pub as fucking laughable. He goes to the kind of pub, that not the kind of pub that would have a bucket for nor raid by the door or anything. He goes to the kind of pub, not the kind of pub that would have a bucket for nor raid by the door or anything. He goes to the kind of pub that like, fully like bicycle hanging off the wall kind of chint shit. And he walks in like he's entering the heart of fucking darkness.

He is frowning at everybody there. They're playing fucking, it's not even Irish travel music, it's just folk music. And he's like sort of staring at everyone. And then he goes up to the table where Hadeo Neal, the IRA guy, is he is sitting with a Catholic priest, by the way, just in case you don't want to lay those cards on the table. Woo! Like, pick under the arm, like people drinking, get us, it's like, there's like a leprechaun in the background, like that's the level where. Unbelieve us, it's like, yeah, there's like a leprechaun in the background, like that's the level where unbelievable. It's so fucking funny. And and he's like, give up the dissident Republicans. And

O'Neal says, I will never give up my countryman, no matter what they've done, even if they are trying to fuck me over personally, which leads to fucking Karl Marx talking to his friends. I will fucking destroy you. He promises to fucking destroy the IRA by... Specifically getting American funding for the IRA withdrawal, which is interesting. Yeah.

I have a real enough threat, sure. But so he kind of like leaves on that note, incidentally, Samuel L. Jackson has been in there with him the whole time, just undercover, just bumps him on the way out. But so now we have to do some really classic shit. You know what we love to do in any spy movie? You know what I love to do in any spy movie. I love to. I love to do in any spy movie. I love to enhance. And so we fucking enhanced so much over the next I want to say 20 minutes or so.

There's a lot of satellite shit, but so what what he does is he retasks the satellites so that they go over it at different times. He works out that they're avoiding them and he sees From space on the satellite It's they get a satellite like image of a bunch of people in the camp and it's like I should zoom in on various things here And the zoom in process takes four hours each Yeah, or it's just like generally like unix fate like a big fucking Chiron around everything that like zooms in on that And he sees this this person right at the front is I was going on here And he zoom is right in and there's something going on

But he can't quite tell what it is so he goes and you enhance this Ants yeah having yeah having thus enhanced. He sees, having thus enhanced. He sees tits. Just some big naturals, just some big, some big beautiful naturals. Like this has to be the Irish, there's no way that a normal Libyan camp would have tits out in it. Sexually harassing a woman from low, fucking orbit. This face, like I'm Elon Musk. Allegedly.

So, so, James, James L Jones is not convinced. He's like, that could, that could be anyone's tits. Could be mine, it is. Yeah, but how do you, it could be anyone's tits like, Patti comes around, right? As Ryan is in the hospital looking after his daughter

He leaves him a present with the information on on this woman and that which is where we find out that she's not Irish She's English. Yeah, looking at the IMDB page for this entire movie Yes, and and they from this they find out that she is posing as a red book dealer. She goes to cool the red book dealer that we saw in, you know, when they're planning the attack. And so the British cops, they start spying on him and immediately, like, it meets that. It's rumbled so fucking fast.

The massive fucking bugs that they've planted, the gigantic camera they've planted in this guy's light fixture is immediately detected by an electrician who accidentally gets the line. The million with the inflemmy, Naya. No. Yeah, no. Man, I'm... So, so good.

This is, I love every part of this, right? Because I reckon, this, they're right in central. Like, so I recognize every part of this and it's so fucking funny to me how much they try to pass it off because this guy's rare book shop is in one of the arcades right by green park, right? In that sort of place where it's not really even legal for me to look at anything because of how expensive it is. He's just sort of in there and I start to chase him and he goes, he heads to the fucking London Underground. Specifically, he's in Old Witch Station, which is for the benefit of listener, is an abandoned station that is used for filming in. It's spotted on the wall.

And there is a PA announcement for the list of stations that this train is going to stop at. Some of these are made up, but a few of these are just like things that Americans might think sounds London-y. So I have transcribed the list of stations in order. Now calling out. Yeah, in Asmogos, Jaring Cross train stopping at Oxford Circus, Piccadilly Circus, Sesame Square, Green Park, Acton Town, Hammersmith, Marble Arch, Hampstead East, South Ealing, and Hyde Park. What?

And that's a straight line-trip baby. I'm trying to fit together, but can you imagine? Hammersmith. I'm rotating a tube map in my mind, and I'm like, how have you- Hammersmith. Funny thing, I can fucking village where they smith. Hammers, come on. You've got to fuck that. Oh, God. Hammers must have loved you.

I lived enough. I can't believe you. But for it to go Oxford, Piccadilly, and then Green, then like Hampstead, Ealing, and Pacta, I'd park. Is building you with such energy. But yeah, just he just fully escapes. I don't know exactly. It's like damn. A lot. Give some the slip by wearing an iconic cap throughout the entire chase and just putting it on someone else and getting on the train. Coolies iconic cap, which is like

a white Fedora. Also, it's a field. It looks like fucking shit. Oh, it looks terrible. Yeah, it's an old stock train because they can't move like a proper up-to-date one into Old Witch. So, so, um, Koolie is then immediately teleported to Libya because this is the thing. That's right. Like, once you do enough terrorism, you just get to go to Libya. You gain the ability to teleport to Libya, that's right. Just in time for Jack Ryan to see him on satellite and be like bald dude detected.

He's refining to him at bald. Yeah, anybody encountering me bald dude detected and he's like, you've got a sunburn too. I don't know if I'm a male. New guy. And this is enough to convince James Earl Jones, but in the meantime, Cooley is like, why can't I go on the mission with you guys to go and kill Jack Ryan, this thing that you're apparently still set on doing because, uh, the fucking Lord Holmes is going to go visit him. Uh, and it in return, Sean being just kills him for no reason whatsoever. Um, yeah, so Lord Holmes is, is doing a little tour of the US.

And so, uh, Kevin and Annette are like, well, let's go and kidnap him, we'll try again, what's he doing in the US? Mean, huh? And they're like, how? Well, also, they bring Cooley all the way out to Libya just to fucking kill him. It's so funny.

They need it as well. It's really funny. And then Sean's like, well, I will use this opportunity to get revenge. Also, we see Lord Holmes planning this trip to the US. And Hugh Fray is just like, hello, I'm still in the film. I'm getting a phone call telling me to do evil stuff. So now we have to talk about a movie, what a scene that comes from a better movie, I think. Yeah, this was really good. Yeah, this fucking rules.

So James L Jones is like now willing to sign off on getting the SIS to raid this one camp And and Harrison Ford, you know Ryan gets to sit in on them watching The SIS go in kill everybody on like an infrared satellite feed And what's interesting is that This you know the CIA guys in there are like laughing, they're joking, they're drinking coffee about watching people get killed. And Ryan is repulsed. And I just wrote down here, I hope this doesn't prefigure anything about the future of the CIA. But this is so good, like the music and Harrison Ford's reaction to this. There's not really any

lines. It's just a cove it's in there. It's really lovely that he is kind of disgusted by how flippant and cold this is, like these people are just being killed. He also notes on the screen that one person is like wounded and crawling. You can see that on the thermal truck. Yeah, it's a really fucking good choice to do this entire raid, like abstracted entirely

by filming it through through the call of duty for AC130 heat vision. It's really, really good. The only shot of the real people that we see is the SAS as they, unfortunately, crest the hill like tats. Yeah, like you would do when you do the raid. No. One of the major things to do when you're doing a secret raid is make sure the sun is behind you and crest a hill. Yeah, look over a hill. I'm cresting a hill. Oh fuck out of yourself. He dudes single gunshot rings out. James L. Jones sort of like slaps on the back and he's like it's over. And Harrison Ford breathes a sort of like unsteady sigh of relief. And personally for me, this is where I would have ended the fucking movie is just just end it with this, this is how you get your revenge and ensure your safety and you spend

the rest of your time with one eye open, or looking out of your shoulder, because you're never quite sure. But instead, what we have to do is another half hour of really shitty action. Yeah, no, it's really good action, maybe. I agree. It's a good action, but it's shitty as like the pork is beautiful. It's not the IRA is what it fucking is. It's Sam Fisher and his fucking buddy is doing like a breaching clear on this fucking house.

Yeah, they fully take out the state department security who are there, the state cops who are there. Because everyone goes back to Jack Ryan's house. Yeah. And early on, we saw Lord Holmes invite Jack to a dinner at the embassy, and we just thought, oh, he's got a special celebration that you can't miss. Would you like to come over to his house? And then later on, we see that this is Sally's welcome home party from the hospital, which

was so lovely. So lovely. And Lord Holmes is there as a guest. So is Hugh Freyser. We finished the movie off by everyone goes to Jack's house. It's a matter. Hugh Freyser does the classic born betrayal thing of shooting a guy in the back with the silence pistol.

I'd be like, hey, check out this shit down there. And then having cut the- One of the top dead ways to betray. Oh yeah, having cut the power, I would even be mad if I was shot in the back with the science pistol. I'd be like, yeah, that's fair. I should have, that's on me. I should have seen that coming.

You got me. Why don't I turn my back on you? Why don't I go down that staircase in the dark? The podcast is retirement. They call it. That's right. That's our plan. For how this will end.

That's right. But so Ryan identifies that the power's been cut off. It's in the middle of this huge storm. And he identifies the huge razor as the mole. And doing some field expedient torture on him by shooting him the leg. He establishes that works. Torture us.

It's free. It's a safe legal threat. It's legal. He establishes that all five or six of them are coming. And they fucking show up too. At the time, at a time when you couldn't buy cheap knockoff taxical gear on Amazon, they show up with night vision goggles and. Yeah, like I'm saying, it's the full Sam Fisher shit. They're wearing like all black,

they've got those big ass binocular night vision goggles looking at things, and the way that the movie communicates, because you can't see any of their faces, that these are the Irish guys, it's the second they appear on screen. It's the Irish guys. And there's a general woodwind refrain in the distance.

Genuinely, like, God. This movie, like, uses Irish music, the same way other movies use like that discount call to prayer. Yeah, like the fucking words in a billion times. 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. God, it really does. Yeah, every time it's an Irish person, whoo.

Yeah, you have to expect the fucking sub-tied look. I'm up like shattering in. Yeah, like Irish. Yeah. Irish noises. So they. You have to expect the fucking sub-tied liquor mug like shattering in y'all a Irish yeah Irish noises so they They've genuinely on Netflix Irish music Well yeah, so they they Irishly breach the house but are outwitted and outfoxed by Ryan and Samuel Lel Jackson Mm-hmm and Jack's wife who'd not respond out with a shotgun. Yeah, yeah And they end up dangerous. Luring them back to their escape route, which is some boats at the bottom of a cliff.

Sean being accidentally kills Hugh Frazier, and it's just like mindlessly consumed by revenge. Two things here. First of all, the way you get to the boats is by not sure of the difference between the two, absailing or repelling, right? For that, you know, IRA absailing training, you are doing in a totally flat desert in Libya. But in order to get there first, fucking Ryan, his wife, their kid, Lord Holmes and Lord Holmes is non-traterous advisor, had to fucking abs sailed down first and hide. Yeah, sure Ryan Ryan like takes one of the boats to lure the the IRA to follow them We then get a fucking boat chase. It's fucking sick. It's good. I like the boat. I don't I don't know why it was in here. I So I thought it was fucking sick and

And Sean kills both Kevin and Annette because they're like oh the the royal guys back on the shore We need to go back. I forget about revenge and he's like I can yeah, I can't I can't forget about Simply love revenge he rips open his yeah shirt reveal big tattoo that says I heart't, I can't forget about it. Simpli love revenge. He rips open his shirt to reveal Big Tattoo that says, I heart revenge. And then just like, execute both of them, just fully like, got down.

They end up fighting on the same boat, which is now on fire, a boat anchor gets embedded into the deck. And in the end, Ryan, like, kill Sean Bean, huge surprise I know. By impaling him on this boat anchor where he makes a perfect moan dot wav. He gets, he gets put onto the anchor and he just goes, I believe that during the filming of this scene, Sean Bean did really hit Harrison for

what in the face with an anchor. And that is where... Other way around, other way around, Harrison for hit Sean Bean in the face with an anchor. And that is all around. Other way around, Harrison Ford hit Sean being the face with the anchor. And that's where he's a scar above his eye. Yeah. Oh, shit. There you go. So he is killed, the world is saved. And we cut back to them in their kitchen, the Ryan's where they are finding out whether

or not they're going to get a boy or a girl as their second child. And we don't find out. And that's it's really it's so cute. Like like the the the mother finds out on the phone and then I hangs up and ranch goes well and he looks so excited and happy and then just I gotta get on this progesterone shit I'm telling you know I make some joy movies this much I don't fucking simple listen um what what I'm a little woman's my my buddy just did. That's true, I'm not into it. Yeah, this is a movie about the IRA where nothing IRA happens. There's sort of you one major thing to note.

It's a thriller that isn't that thrilling. What's deeply funny is that this just isn't how the IRA operates at all. Not even any splinter group that I'm aware of. Like, this is how is how yeah go from even if you knew something about terrorism what you do not that's right H.I. Don't but I tell you one thing this is this is how the American audience might imagine the D.I. I for it's because this is how American special forces operate They are the guys who have the fucking desert training camp and come back and do like some fish of breach and clears. They're definitely the ones who like wear the

the NVGs, they're definitely the ones who like machine gun a car. Yeah for sure. This is this is the best way that they could possibly get across that these guys are like well-trained as just to be like what if they were American? Trying to explain the IRA to Americans, so imagine a burger Like, what if they were American? Trying to explain the IRA to Americans. So imagine a burger. And that. Rotate a burger in your mind. Well, we have a science-based racing system

on this podcast. It's called the SCUM system. It stands for SMAM, Cultural Insensitivity, Unprovoked Violence, and Misogyny. So how SMAMI is this movie? I see. It's low, but there are a few moments where it's quite pleased with itself. It doesn't suck itself off that much. There's a few moments where it's like movie dialogue.

I'm like, ah. Yeah, yeah, I could see that. I think it's relatively, he doesn't really like Derni lined. He doesn't really do any wise cracks or anything. It's, it's no red October. It's just just not it's just nowhere near as good Conversely, I would I think I would have enjoyed this more without like Baldwin. I believe so Like it's that's no knock and Harrison Ford not that he needs me to knock him He's like a very successful actor. I just don't, it doesn't quite work for me.

I think that as a sequel, doing it like Jack Ryan is back and this time it's personal is a nice direction to go in. Yeah, sure. As I say, I really liked the kind of family stuff. I thought that was a really strong core to build it around. And especially since you know, like we contrast Ryan's happy family life that he cares about with what we learn

about Sean, which is this had a very unhappy family life and lost his brother. How do we feel about like a one or a two for small? I could do one even, to be honest. Yeah, I'm happy to do that. Of true sensitivity. Of true insensitivity. Well, first of all, for its crimes against the English. I'd tell you how to out and serve it up to you with chips.

Not another thing. It's been a while since we've watched a film that has been this culture, it's sensitive, I think. I think it's been a real fucking sec. Like, this is earnestly like huge. It made the foreigner look like fucking Stephen Universe. It's raising the brutality of like British crimes in Ireland is a very serious and ongoing kind of cultural and sensitivity, like we are still trying to block lawsuits

from being brought against people who committed war crimes. Illegal to remember some of the shit that we did. I mean, yeah, a large amount of a current guy is trying to become leader of a Tory party's main thing is it should be illegal to think about what we did in Ireland. Yeah, because a couple of them were there. Yeah, absolutely. A couple of them were like, you know, guards officers there.

So yeah, absolutely. Not to mention the fucking noises, not to mention every Irish person would all be in the same group chat. That's right. Is it, is it, I think this is on a pile with the cultural sensitivity of living that diet, not to kind of equate anti-arash to it with anti-packed notes as a... Since we've had to like numerically quantify how culturally

insensitive a movie is, I think we can do that without saying these two things are like equally bad or equally material or whatever. Yeah. Nine? Yeah, nine. Yeah, sure. I mean, that, for memory, that is what we gave, then I die.

So, I don't know if it is what, I mean, let me check, actually. I'll just, if we gave, if we gave, if we gave living life, dying nine, then we give this a nine, and if we gave it a eight, then we'll give it a eight. Yeah, I'll check a nine. Unprovoked violence, it's complicated one, because there are some scenes in this

where we're told, oh, violence bad, not so good, kind of chilling, kind of dehumanizing. But then there's some scenes in particular, the kind of like one-on-one fights where violence is like, oh, cool, nice. And the movie has a complicated relationship with violence such that if you go toe-to-toe with someone and win, that is like noble baschido. But if you use a satellite a satellite and like BSIS then this is like cowardly and bad so it's like

and also the torture. It was it was nine for liven that die as I'd know it's so it is nine. For this reason. Ryan's like always forced to use violence apart from shooting the guy in the leg which is you know field-experient torture. It's good and it works, is certainly an unprovoked violence attitude to take. So what do we say about that? Three? Yeah, I'm having a three death. Yeah, sure.

Absolutely. And it's like just not a ton of provoked violence, but that is like stuff that I am honestly repulsed by such as torture. Yeah, misogyny. Well, from space. From space. I don't know. Also, like the women deceptive, sexually deceptive, they will use this as a weapon against you, which we will, and it's true, but you shouldn't say it.

Yeah, that's right. The silence pistol is like out. The minute we're in lingerie. But at least she only does it once, I guess. It's not like a recurring thing, and she doesn't do other stuff. It's just that the other stuff is be identified by her tits. If you ask me, more lingerie sets should include of Holster. Yeah, well, the thing is you've got to have the little like,

that's why garters exist is so you can keep a pistol in it. Yeah, that's why I mean I tell you that I am after after a certain procedure which is taking place extremely soon I will be buying so much fucking lingerie. So I will get one that comes with a gun holster. No point. Yeah, it's custom done. Oh, we're at a blogger. A new listener will know nothing about it. That's right. So, so misogyny, how do we feel about a fine?

Maybe. Maybe you've been strong. Yeah, because that's like too off maximum. Yeah, that's true. I forgot, I forgot how many seven was. I forgot how to count for a second. Yeah, that's true. I forget. I forgot how many seven was. I forgot how to count for a second. Yeah. So four, that gives us a total score of 17, which is, oh, that's the worst one we've seen since Casino Royal, no, since no time to die. Yeah, yeah, that's. Season two has a new sort of champion for the worst movie we've seen.

Yeah, that's sort of fun. I'm enchiric with how much I enjoyed it, but I feel like that's not the case for you to. I feel like you both like I listen, I, I, I told turn my mind off for a great deal of it in analyzing it post-hark. It's like, oh yeah, this sucks. But like, it's like competently made. Well, that's the thing. I find it just competent enough to be truly mid. Like I was taking fewer and fewer notes too, because I was just watching it. I just wasn't enjoying it very much.

I just found there wasn't a lot there, really. It was just... Ah, I disagree. I liked it. I thought it was exciting and well-made and well-acted. I thought it was a good sequel to Hanford Red October. I'm looking forward to seeing whether go with the next one, which is... Clear and present-to- is clear and present danger. It certainly has more of a focus on family, right? Because I mean, to discuss masculinity on this podcast, we're all in masculinity. Oh, God, fuck, masculinity is when you insert you in a terrorist attack. Yeah, protecting, wrong, yeah. Women and children.

You like shove your new player family to the side and you go do the stuff that men do. We must protect women and girls. Sometimes women do it, but their gender is like, it's alternately an asset for deception and a handicap. That's right. As trans people, we are of course against the family in all its forms.

We see to destroy it and undermine the West. But we recognize what this film is trying to do. Yeah. So, indeed. We don't do pronsteens or good nights for season two. Nothing has come up yet that we think would be a funny matter. We've got to do another run of like pins, but we'll come up. We'll gin something else up for those.

We did have an idea a little bit ago about some sort of award for giving away secrets so, so fucking easily. The Brian Cox Memorial Award and Intelligence, yes. Yes, secret kill squads. Like, but like, I'm not going to tell you, Agon, oh, right, then like that in and of itself is such like a common occurrence, but I do want to give the dude who does it and award each time. Yeah, but the Brian Cox Memorial award. We give some kind of award to the SAS for

Cresting that Hill. Oh, yeah. But the the the avi Alice joint bad drills. Oh, I love that. I love that. But it only reminds me to say, thank you for listening. We have a Patreon.

You can subscribe to it. You can get some more bonus episodes. The most recent one we did. It was three days of the Condor, where we had our producing Nathan. It was brilliant. And the next time it's my turn to choose it, we're doing totally spies the movie, so.

Oh my God. And next time on the main feed, it is... I'm bearing with Dan. Oh, we're in Quirin. Quirin. Quirin. Oh, fuck. Quirin first train to, yeah.

We are. Some of all Quiris, what? Yeah, some of all Quiris. Yeah. Some of all Quiris indeed. Ah, fuck. Queer and first train to get some of all queers. Yeah, some of all queers. Yeah. Some of all queers, indeed. Well, goodbye. Thank you for listening to yet another episode of Kill James Bond. We will return in two weeks time on the free feed with clear and present danger. Again another Harrison Ford, Jack Ryan movie. But if that is simply too long for you to wait, not to fear at all because on the Patreon, patreon.com slash kill James Bond all onward next week our bonus episode will be on Totally spies the movie

I swear to god Abigail But um yeah Don't you feel you're excited about that, feel free to tune in. Um, Thank you of course to our 15 pounds and above patrons and those are Christine Fox, Fox Winchester, Paint Macala, Jack Holmes, George Roach, Thomas O'Bart, Cirob, oh god. I mean it's Nick Boris in backwards but I have no fucking clue how I would possibly pronounce that.

Yarrick, Carolyn Tankersley, Beno Rice, Max Kappinsky, Morgan Bennett, Kit Divine, Library Hitman, Max Gaman Heart, Jonathan Gurley, Hell Bloodhands, Kentucky Friedkommi, Dreadpire, Robin, Sephiril, Lucifer, Ax Fremen, Commissar, Jen Jen, Ellie, without the E-Tarp, O, Big Tilly Goth girl, Sydney Steckle, Mothman, Trip, Jay Martin, Dell, Charlie, Out of the closet, Jenner, and Port Zoe, Shepherd, Elizabeth Cox, Tuffs, Each Shit, and Diet, Lone, Finn, Ross, Alfredo, Raised on a Diet, and Make Devons, says it's out loud, Wolfie, Al-Owing, Railleel, Millie, J.M. 1 on 15, 1, 9, 9, Bond LeBon, Josh Simmons, Lauren Baston, and Tristram Wolff. Thank you very much.

Gale James Bond is Alice, Abigail, and Devon. Our producer is the wonderful neighbour, and our podcast art is by Maddie Lepchansky. Uh, that'll work out by Tom Allen also. Love you. Bye. Jesus Christ.