Upstream - S3E1: OSS 117 se déchaîne (1963)

Episode Date: August 31, 2023

Let me set the scene: It's 1963, the movie 'From Russia With Love' has just released and pre-production on 'Goldfinger' is already taking place. The People are clamoring for international nonces of mystery, and the great film-mills of Europe are only too happy to hard shift from the declining 'sword and sandals' genre into something that will forever be known... as Eurospy. It's episode one of season 3, the much anticipated 'Season of Solidarity', where we take a look at movies not currently struck by the WGA or SAG-AFTRA and get to get back to our roots of talking about a bad spy movie from the 60s. On today's docket: OSS 117 is unleashed!  ------ THE MOVIES ARE ON STRIKE! SAG-AFTRA and the WGA are both on strike for a number of reasons, from pay for streaming residuals, to the rights to own your own appearance, to the right to not have AIs trained off your work. So if you've got a few spare pennies, why not chip in to help keep movies from becoming Shit Forever. https://entertainmentcommunity.org/ https://actionnetwork.org/fundraising/the-snacklist-support-striking-workers And if you're in the UK, the UCU could still do with some help https://www.ucu.org.uk/fightingfund ------ Consider supporting us on our reasonably-priced patreon! https://www.patreon.com/killjamesbond ------ *WEB DESIGN ALERT*  Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/   Kill James Bond is hosted by Alice Caldwell-Kelly, Abigail Thorn, and Devon. You can find us at https://killjamesbond.com and https://twitter.com/killjamesbond

Oh, la la. Bonjour, bonsoir. And welcome to Kill James Bond, two-ay James Bond. I am Alice Kordor Kelly. Join us by my friends, Abigail Thorne and Dan. Hello. How you doing? Really pushing GCSE French recollections here. The wheels are fucking forward off mine, I've got to say. So welcome to the first episode of a new season of the podcast, one forced upon us by the cowards at the American motion picture industry, who are currently being struck by both their writers and their actors. Sucks to suck. That's right. And until they get back around the negotiating table

and give those people everything they want, we are engaging in the much-trailed season of solidarity. This was your idea, Dev. Do you want to sort of brief us here? Yeah. So I got some guidance back from SAG and they said that they consider anything that is or would have been produced under a SAG theatrical contract to be struck work, which is essentially everything that was ever made

in America. But also we aren't covered because we're film criticism rather than promotion. It is important, no, we don't actually have to do anything. We're doing it because of the sense of solidarity. We're nice. Yeah, because we're nice and because you should, you know, we want you to feel very positive about listening to this podcast, rather than us having a sort of unfair, competitive advantage when every American podcast is like, hmm, can we say the specific guidance that they gave us? Oh my God.

So this badly annoyed me, right? Because listen, I support the unions unreservedly. Their communications throughout the strike less so. And one of the things that they told us was, well, it depends, because if you're doing like criticism, it would have to be like, if you're doing like a modern Cisco and Ebert. That was specifically, like, if you are the modern-day Cisco and Ebert e-book that then you're then that's criticism and it's like, and that triggered me. Well, it means you need to wear foot because there's three of us.

Yeah, syscular e-book and Devon, it's no one. I didn't. Please, please touch your hands. There's a metal plate. Yeah. No, but I genuinely like this, this triggered and owned me because I will absolutely make the case any day of the week and twice on Sunday that what we're what we're engaged in here is serious film criticism.

It just also includes a lot of phrases like serving count, right? It's, it's, you know, dev is wearing a serpico hat as we record this. This is both serious and not. That's right. Yeah, I mean, there was a thing a while ago, somebody was lamenting that there weren't any , there weren't any like serious film critics anymore, they were all gone. Somebody in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a,

in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, newspapers. I'm sorry that we believe that there are more than two genders, right? But like, I don't even believe we know. There's no gender on this fucking podcast. But you have to set that aside and like listen to the film criticism as it is. So with that in mind, because we didn't feel great doing struck work, what we're doing is, as best we can tell, not struck work. Yes. Which is every film in the IMDB category Euro Spy.

In release order, that's right. Because when it comes down, we are a movie about James Bond. And James Bond had reverberations in the film scene. Some of them were felt immediately. And one of those is the explosion of Euros by movies. Yeah, so there were basically a bunch of like bond brackets, like German or bond brackets French.

And that's what we're doing in this case. So France had their own James Bond, OSS Saundice, 117. We've met him before. Yeah, we did him in a bonus episode way back in season one. OSS 177. But we'll save it. way back in season one. Osses Sandi said. One in season two as well actually. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. We've done two of the sort of like reboot, the comic reboots of this character, but Osses Sandi said, Osses 117 is one of approximately a billion euros by movies that we're

going to be doing that will all be called shit like agent seven hunts. And the funny thing is, oh, I said, Sony set, like, I believe predates, certainly the movies, but predates some bond too, I think. Yeah, this is 1963. When was Dr. No, 63? 63 is the same year as from Rush with Love. Okay. It's important to note, OSS Sunday's set, the novels predated bonds novels by four years. I've got a little polit history here just to get us up to speed her. Lab by name is John Bruce, wrote 88 OSS Sunday's set novels by the time of his death in a car accident in the 63. How the deep state got on. And his wife took over, his wife, Joe Zepbrus,

working on an on-to-plume J-Bruce, wrote 143 between 63 and 85. Oh, fucking hell. Wow. I miss when you could write that kind of pace, right, and just bang this shit out on type. So just like, million of these. But this film was made as a response to the popularity

of Bond, but the character isn't based on or a parody of Bond, rather OSS helped inspire the Bond novels. Oh, it's like a Zorro Batman situation. Yeah, that's an app for conversation more than Bond's parents were killed coming out of a screening of this movie. I mean, I think it is important to note that James Bond is sort of like, is a stock character in a screening of this movie. I, um, but I mean, I think it is important to note that James Bond is sort of like, is a stock character in a lot of ways. It's just the most successful of this sort of like spy thrillers that were sort of very current around that time and

were all written by guys who had been doing cloak and dagger shit during the war and then just typed some of it up with some added sex to keep things interesting. Now all called like ancient 700. Exactly. Yeah. And so, OSS Sondice is the French James Bond, if you like, that's a reductive way of putting it. And this is, I believe, the second movie they made featuring him, but the first post-bond one, and the movie is OSS Sunday sets edition. OSS 117 is unleashed. I'll say this, not very unleashed in the series. No, he's quite leached. It over promises because if you like,

if I go and see a movie and the title of that movie is, this guy's off the fucking chain. Yo! He's like, he's dead! His tagline was like, Y'all! He's wearing a tie. He wears a tie almost all the time, like he... The entire time.

He's actually in the quad logical. So, OSS Sondi said, begins with sort of piece the camera that in a Bond movie will be delivered by M, but is just a sort of introductory cutscene. I quite like this because it makes the films plot easy to understand sort of 60-odd years later. Genuinely, it's made into sort of historical aspect even though at the time what it's doing is like you dumb French piece of shit, you don't even know what's going on outside this very movie system. It's genuinely like a sort of briefing about the time and place

in which the audience live, which is very patronized. But useful for us, you know. That's right, but so useful for us. Yes, yeah. Over half a century later, podcasted, if shit. So we get this, we get this stock footage of like ships at sea and submarines and stuff. And we learn that there's a fear of atomic war all across the world. Everyone's afraid that the bomb might drop any moment. And so the military has nuclear submarines that are patrolling all the time to guarantee

world peace. Then nobody knows where they are. But if anybody ever managed to build a detector that detects atomic submarines, then the delicate balance of world peace would be completely fucked into a cocktail. So. Then vented a new submarine detector, it goes beat. Yeah, well I think there are like five of these in the Bond series as there's some kind of like detection.

Yeah, this has happened before. But the idea is that, and this is why it's very important that all our intelligence agents have to spend time and picturesque coastal towns sc scuba diving with beautiful women in order to make sure nobody since they're submarine detectors in its luxury results. What an assignment baby.

I know, I do your spy job. Pretty good job, I think. Ha ha ha ha. Just like we need you to go around and like inspect the coast of Corsica in case anyone has installed the big submarine detector. Whenever I go scuba diving from now on, I'm just gonna say this is what I'm doing. So no, I'm actually I'm checking for atomic submarine detectors. And so we go to Southern Corsica, Bonifacio. And first of all, the first name I would say,

it's a beautiful black and white print. Such a good film stock. I don't know man, it's so good. It's such a good film stock. I don't know man, it's so good. It's a really good looking film. Irrespective of like anything else we're going to talk about, it's really good looking a lot of the time. We see a guy, like leave his apartment and go through the sort of like narrow alleys of this course of the Contown. There's a close up on a Dutch angle of like a blind beggar who starts following him.

And that guy by the way, wearing extremely cool sunglasses. This is the same way that Dr. No started. With a guy who's about to be a sassan, he's a being followed by a blind guy. What were they cooking about? Like blind people in the early 60s. What did they know? I was there so shook and teagin.

That was their trans people. They were like, fuck, you're there pretending to be blind to assassinate me. The blind assassin, yeah. I'm really mad because your menus available in Braille. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I Look at that. Look at that. So there's Guy Rousse, Willem Rousse. He goes through the old town and he meets up with a guy Renott, who is a scuba diving instructor boat captain. Yeah, yeah, Nicholas Renott, he's a boat dude.

Bo dude. Bo dude. I'm going to keep calling him Bo dude because I can never remember his name Renott because I always want to make it Minott, which is for handcuffs the word which I know but I don't know anything else. I just call him in my nose because This is and then we meet Bridgette yeah, I learned that my GCSE French Very very specific vocabulary. Yeah, Bridgette Bridgette

This is Nadia Sanders, an American. And I'm going to say, well sure. Bonjour Madame. This movie gave all three of us 1960s woman to support. Yeah, African woman and this is so smoking heart in a way that doesn't exist anymore. It's, I don't know why, like what happened to faces

or makeup or cameras or something, but no one fucking looks like this anymore. I'm thinking this also. I mean, 1960s woman does for it is I think I coined that. Yes, you do. As a thing. And it's just as you say, no one looks like this anymore, even people who are trying to look like people from the 60s, even sort of like the man from Uncle couldn't achieve this. Why don't human faces look like that anymore? Is it a camera thing? Is it a makeup thing?

I don't something changed. Don't know. Is it a genetics thing? I don't know what they are cooking. I have a thing is, right. And I'll say this often, we have now new science in the form of womb transplants. Incredible, right?

You can finally get your transgarter and pregnant. But we haven't invented the surgery to make you look like a 1960s French woman. And I mean, that for me is up there with the cigarettes that are good to you. Like, if you're a scientist, like, get on that shit, like immediately, please configure your entire lab. If you know, if you like, work in plastic surgery, maybe, and you know, uh, the answer to this

question, uh, do you write in and explain to us why women don't understand it? Get in touch. Is it like a lost knowledge for plastic surgeons, like how the Romans forgot how to make cement or whatever, where it's like... It's like Greek fire. Yeah, there was one guy who made faces like this and he died. I bet you the plastic surgeon will know, because I once had a plastic surgeon explain to me

exactly in detail why it is that I can get cast in period pieces and other actresses can't. And it's due to like the specific genetic profile of my nose. So it's like somebody who wakes in plastic surgery will know. It was like it's edging into a segment of me. Yeah, yeah.

Maybe it's a climate change thing. It's a specific genetic profile of my nose. And meanwhile mine is just sort of a big, you zoom in on the DNA, it's just got potatoes on it. Maybe it's limited. Yeah, it's part of a million of CO2 in the atmosphere. Yeah. Like people just don't look like this anymore.

We climate changed our way out of 1960s women, what the fuck? It's like feedlark or syndrome. Well, because I've watched this and I was like, it's really weird watching footage from the 1960s, which is before half of all the CO2 in the atmosphere was emitted. It's like, oh yeah. Oh yeah. That's like, ah, man, these guys still had a chance.

Ha ha ha ha. Man, and this is what they're doing with it. There was hope then. Mm. So Brigitte is Mr. Hankov's girlfriend and they go out diving together on this boat, which then prompt the strangest theme song I've heard in a minute. I like it.

It's good. I do too. It's like a port second theme. Like it's still a tropical, we're having fun. It gives you a... Oh, la, la. About 50,000 times. Yeah, yeah.

Which is really funny. It does the whole song, the title sequence is just this one boat going out. Yeah. We're going out on the water. We're having a fun time. Yeah, it is. We stay with Bruce, our sort of 009 figure,

for a fair amount of time, actually. He doesn't just, like, get killed off in the opening sequence. He gets killed off after that. He does the just like get killed off in the opening sequence. He gets killed off after that. He does the best spy job, which is diving for detectives while you're beautiful girlfriend, sunbathes on the boat above you. And mine would say, oh God, underwater filming. So there's a little joke in the remakes of OSSIS-ON-USET, where he just says gem-l-thing in a sort of like very enthusiastic way. And there's almost a sort of like straight version of that

where the guy, Renata is like, what do you wanna go into this shitty underwater grotto? And Rousse says like, way too enthusiastically, gem, de grotto. I love him. Love the grotto, baby. I'll get enough, seeing every single one. Yeah, we've found a grotto.

Diving spots, right? I bet. Yeah, I think we've found a grotto's. Diving's fun, right? That's right. I bet. We do some underwater photography as they die of ol' Brigitte just kind of stays in somebody. The difference between that, so let's know as if you've not heard the podcast before. We all have a fear.

We all have a fear of underwater photography because we watch Thunderball, which has about nine hours of it, and it's all the sudden. And, but this, the underwater photography is good. Because the French have an inherent biological genetic advantage to underwater photography because of Jacques Cousteau. Yeah, they invented it, yeah. That's not, yeah.

Here's my theory. Thunderball is shot in per-technic color. True. This is shot in black and white. And the problem with the Thunderball thing is they spend all their time just shooting fish, just like, because they were like, wow, look at what the colors are. This is black and white. And the problem with the Thunderbolt thing is they spend all their time just shooting fish just like, because they were like, wow, look at what the colors are. This is black and white. They didn't have the latitude. They have to just shoot what they wanted to do underwater. I think it limits them in a way that keeps them focused.

The cinematography is also good. I can see where everyone is. I know the geography of the underwater scene. It's well-made. Yeah, I mean, and you know, it's a really beautiful print as well, which means that a lot of the stark shadows really stand out quite intensely. It works quite well on the cliffs, it works quite well on the alleys, it works quite well underwater sometimes, and this is one of them. So Renat and Rusd dive together, and Renaut's just like, kind of like, fucking around. And he looks back over his shoulder and Rus has like instantly been killed silently. He's like bleeding into the water.

He's like clutching his breasts. He's lying on the bottom, yeah. Yeah. And Renaut is like, okay, in fact, I don't want anything to do with this. I'm just leaving. Yeah, just want to know that Renaut does not follow any of the unresponsive diver procedures here. Very unsafe.

You shouldn't have abandoned his buddy in the first place, but certainly shouldn't have left his buddy unresponsive on the bottom of the ocean floor. I think he was like, this guy's dead. This guy's over. He's coming that cool. Are you've got to bring that? Never mind.

Renarchan, he's wearing a striped shirt in every shot of him on his movie. He's a diving instructor. What you should know is not. He's gonna lose his license, yeah. They haven't invented that yet. This is not scuba code compliant. He just, he just like books it out of the water.

Brigitte's like, hey, do you want to like, where's the other guy you dive with? And he's like, don't worry about it. Give me a cigarette. And she lights one herself and puts it in his mouth. It's, the 60s were a different time. I've written this, the French have a very intimate and instinctive understanding of how cool

and sexy smoking is. It's just no other in that blood. It's the cigarette that's good for you, you know? Let's invent it. Don't start smoking to sound, to cool, but it doesn't work. Yeah, no, it doesn't work. But if you are smoking currently, then that's one thing in your favor. Yeah.

Don't start on a count of us, but if you are, hey. A horrible influence. There's a lot of youths that listen to this. Yeah, I'm sure. Don't fake. Yeah, if you're smoking a sweet vape, that's not sexy. There's no way to vape sensually. No, no, vaping is the anti-smoking vaping sucks.

Like a fucking fam-fatal just blows a cloud of strawberry vapour for you. And you're just like, I don't have a massive, massive, like, jewelry, but like I know there's a dude in my building who who like vapes because he's addicted to nicotine but he's vaping the sweetest fucking shit I've ever smelled in my life. I just walk out of the building sometimes and there's like a cloud of custard. It's like come on. I also don't like the smell of cigarette smoke but I like it.

I like it. If somebody sexy inflicts the cigarette smoke, but I like it. I like it. If somebody sexy inflicts the cigarette smoke on you, that's sexy. Yeah, you can go step up that anyway, but like, I mean, there was a minute, there was a minute where, um, where vapes, you can't put out a vape on someone in a whole new car. Exactly. You can't do it. There was a minute where Vapes looks like

cigarettes, but like, you know, it was like blue tips or whatever. And I, the only onion article I reliably remember is man smoking a futuristic blue cigarette must be some kind of bounty hunter from the future. Right. It, it looks quite cool. And then it just, it looks good. Then we just went to these boxes that dispensed custard over units. Yeah, with the grey... Car battery size shit awful. Nothing. No, no.

But so, we're not takes, Brigitte, back to town. Also, sorry, I'm not done. Please, please, please, if I'm into... You want to talk about... That's whatever, man. There's not that much movie. Like, it is understood that if you go to somebody's house, you don't just light up a fucking cigarette

without asking people to do it. Yeah, you don't just smoke in my front room if I don't smoke, right? Whereas for some reason, people haven't gotten that message with vapes. So I've had people come round to my house. You can't vapin' my house. And just start vaping and I just went,

don't fucking vapin' my house. I don't want my like, furniture to smell like strawberry jizz. What fucking like YouTube's, zoomer did you have over that like, actually I know, done onto that. No, no, it was not that person. It was your fucking girlfriend.

What? Yeah. Oh, here we go. It's okay. It's to be a feeling of attention, music, one hour mix. Which, this is is this is perhaps those 2023 sentence which of my girlfriend You're living room non-concerned. I'm not gonna say that on the

We're not the modern syskull and ebert Say it and bleep it. Say it and bleep it It was okay ble, okay, believe it, but it, b the fuck. And fucks it. She's not my girlfriend, she just puts cigarettes out on me sometimes. Okay, fine then.

All right, believe the name, but leave that, because that is funny. I mean, I'd like it to be, but like. The person you were referencing did not vape in my house. Okay, all right, one point in favor. Yeah, nah. All right, what are we doing here?

So the fucking Renault takes British back to Bonifacio. We haven't even met you, Vanya. Okay, cool, get this. There's very little in this movie. And also, this is going to be the dynamic for the whole fucking season, right? Is it impossible to find the movie once we do there's not much to talk about.

So we're just like in the back of a provincial French cinema in 1963, talking about boys, yeah. Which of my girlfriends made you the bigger? With, I think, we're not the one in the Ciscolan Ebert, and that's fine, that's okay. I think Roger Ebert would have asked that question, had Vate technology been... Roger Ebert never did a live show

where he had to be lubed into his outfit, all right? We are better. That was a good outfit. It was a good outfit. I'm not sure that that's true, Devin. If that is the outfit. They go to the Jondarmory. And the Jondarmory is like very rural.

And I appreciate very much that when they're interrogating them, which is kind of more of a debrief, there's a Jondarm who like doesn't want to do any work and just supplies you with an easy answer. Yeah, gives all the emotions, yeah. Yeah, he's typing it up and he's like, so you just probably had like a stroke or something, right? But the body just got swept away instantly. So there's nothing that you need me to do about this.

Yeah. Which is ideal to be honest. And we see the Nicholas Lies because he says, yes. William Bruce was careless and a bad diver. Yeah, he just rose some on the way out. He's like, by the way, shitty dives. By the way, sucks. He hated it, actually.

And we also see the Brigitte lies as well. Yeah, she's agreed to cover for them both. And so she's tells the same story. This guy, he just had a heart attack or a stroke or something. He's just gone, you know. And it's his own fault anyway. And the cops don't look that closely. Yeah, the cops are like, I heard Diving's,

Diving's pretty dangerous then, and he's like, no, no, no, it's so easy. It's just that this guy's a dumbass. Yeah. And then he's like, all right. Leaves. Really like breaking scuba-diving and struct a confidentiality, you know?

I feel like there should be like a seal of the confessional on that. If I suck at scuba diving, you can't tell them that. I'm so auto. Yeah, don't hold it dead. But then we cut with absolutely no ceremony at all to Uber, our guy, OSS, on the set, French Bond. Yeah. And I feel like these films, you know, they missed the trick here,

because like in Bond, you know, you cut to somebody in shadow and he steps out and it's Bond, in the man from Uncle, we cut to Robert Vaughn just standing really normally, just standing so normal behind a panel glass. Love that, God, I love that shot so much. Yeah. But here we just cut how many's just in a room and it's just like oh voila. He's talking to like French M or Yes, French American M because this is a weird situation in which yeah, yeah, I thought he was French I was just on this is like he's a French guy working as an American agent. That's the thing He actually works for the OSS in this one in the remakes that we've watched He worked for the the French thing which I don't remember the name. Yes, yeah

the remakes that we've watched he worked for the French thing which I don't remember the name of. But in this one canonically he is an American agent from Louisiana of French descent. Whoa! Which gives me a really good ongoing bit. So this guy is supposed to be like whipping up an etufane as spare time. Yeah, he's, he's Louisiana. That explains why he's dubbed, because I was just like, I thought this movie was French. This actor is clearly speaking English, but they're like, pizza hot of,

Paulie, Paulie ADR dialogue. So, so we get a conversation between two Americans that takes place entirely in French, where American M says, listen, they're saying that our boy, So, we get a conversation between two Americans that takes place entirely in French, where American M says, listen, they're saying that our boy, Rousse, was a terrible diver, but we know that's not true. We know he kicked asset diving, actually. Of course, the con government would have you believe. A Willum Rousse was a foolish job.

A veritable gumbo of conspiracy. Okay. Okay. Yeah, it's a very simple gumbo of conspiracy. Okay, okay. We can't let this abuse of our best diver stand. He was great at diving, we all know this. And also, world peace might be threatened if there's a detector there, which we think there might be. Yeah, so go to Corsica and find out what's going on.

Fuck around, just go to trouble go around and find out what's going on. Fuck around. Just go. Fuck around. Just go to Tropical Island, fuck around, see what you can see. Yeah, by the way, here is my beautiful secretary. Oh, sure. I am now going to cock block you. And so he introduces this woman and we see that. Oh, I thought you meant me. I was like, why?

Oh, no. I thought you were going to tell me like... Out of revenge, what you said about my girlfriend? Yeah, I'm now going to... I thought you were going to tell me out of revenge or what you said about my girlfriend? Yeah, I'm not going to tell you. What are you going to tell me? Like, ah, you fancy her butt, she's racist or something. I don't know. No, no, no.

What it is is that- It was the 60s. This is Osset Sondi's real name. He's about Bonnie Seydel Abatt. Tries to put the moves on the secretary because he's a charmer. He's a womanizer. He's unable to stop himself.

And what's really funny is you see the gears change when he enters like, seduction mode. It's really like, gross. But so, American M is like, no, you actually have to leave in like 10 minutes. You cannot be fucking my secretary. Now, at this point, I'm going to talk about the actor who plays, plays, or assist on the set. This is this is co and Matthews. Yes. Now, a key detail that I want you to know about co and Matthews, is that co and Matthews was gay. Really? lived for 46 years with his with his partner. Yeah, really, really sweet, lovely man by

all accounts. And the reason I mentioned that he's gay is because in a scene intended to establish his sort of rapacious, heterosexuality, he goes to leave and is like, I guess I'm not going to be able to have sex with the secretary, but he gives American M the contiest look. I've ever seen, he's got like one hand on the door frame as hips, the kind of outness. Just gonna pull this up. Nice, finally, we've got a gay bond. We did it in 1963 before bond. All of, all of Co and Matthew's mannerisms in this are like slightly more feminine. And I do wonder about the sort of timeline in which this took off instead of like Sean Connery as Bond, right?

Where the model of sort of like, Swav Masculinity was being a little bit gay. Being a bit fruity. Yeah, being a bit fruity. What's the names of these, you know? Hmm, that's right. She let me hit because I'm fruity. And that's... That's really the story of all of our lives actually

He's the thing about Cohen is that he he's a total He looks like a totally normal guy just like completely standard bloat But if you look at him for long enough, he does start to get kind of hot. It's like a magic I think yeah, you need to better have stylists in this he played Sinbad. He did. He played Sinbad. He was kind of like twink for hire for a while. He's got that very upright 60s man posture with it all walk around. Yeah, mostly the like the suits and the corset train stuff. Yeah, because you see it in Man from Uncle 2, but it's like you can't move in these things. It's all shoulder-to-face. He ever suffer any consequences for being gay because it was illegal in his six years.

Genuinely, I read his biography, it was fascinating, interesting life. He was in the army air force for a couple of years, there's a pilot model too. He got out, he did some acting, he did some more acting, eventually retired to open an antique shop in San Francisco, lived there with his partner of 46 years, died in a sleep in his like 80s. Wow. Lovely, like, I mean, just made me very emotional thinking about. I have recently adjusted my estrogen dosage. But it made me use her as a reaser.

Yeah. Just like, why am I crying about the fact that this guy had like a seemingly like very nice life that was like very, very loving. And this is... Meanwhile, I have recently adjusted my testosterone dosage, so I'm having to hold myself down on the secretary of the morphing. Oh, my God.

His part of my race, I look all the way to Tom Nickel, who was a British guy, who was a display manager at Harvey Nichols. This is awesome. It feels like a collection of homophobic jokes, you know? Yeah. So like, why don't you go like marry a a guy who like works for like a menswear store and open an antique store in San Francisco.

Sounds lovely. What a beautiful life. They really did have it all in the six truly truly. They died the day before 9 11. So, so we see Renart is like on his boat. He's really a big newspaper that says news. American tourists dead, commerce stupid. Oh, he's really a big newspaper that says, news, American tourists, dead, commerce, stupid. Oh, he died in 2007, actually, I'm afraid.

Shit, diver dies. Yeah, shit, shit, diver fucks it, dies. And a couple of sort of menacing guys, in a great mode of menacing guy, and so he's come up to him and sort of like menacing, and then we cut away again to OSS Sondisette arriving. Another classic of a genre, his code name is just his normal name, but they've changed for some.

You bear. Yeah, who the fuck is Jersey Bondov? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. He's a Jersey Bondov, is that? So he gets off this beautiful Air France caravale. And again, I ask, you know, I don't ask for much in this life, but what I want is a hundred thousand

pounds worth of surgeries to make me look like I'm from the 1960s, and a vintage Air France uniform. Because fuck me, the stewardess asses. And you deserve it. I do, I do. Yeah, you wouldn't even like fly on it. You just be in the plane just around. Yeah, I'm just hanging do. You wouldn't even fly on it. You'd just be in the...

Just around. Yeah, I'm just hanging out. The rental car lady? Yeah. The rental car lady. She's your type, definitely. So, so he goes across the airport to meet with the hurts rental car lady. And again, he turns on the seduction mode, right?

Which is like, yeah, you have beautiful eyes. And so this is the thing, right? Yeah. We know this stuff is bad. We've talked about this being bad before. We've also talked about a wrinkle in it, which is it's a compelling idea of the male fantasy that this is the kind of conversation that you have that is all in good fun. And the woman has like never, the woman who like works for the rental car agency has never heard the, do you come with a car? Joe never before, before, in her entire life.

And is like, that's the male fantasy. Is to be able to hit her with that line first. Well, really, the male fantasy is to be the only man. That's true. Yeah, pretty much. I do like this dialogue though. He's, he's softer than Bond. Cause he's like, oh, you have, you have beautiful eyes Bond because he's like, oh you have you have beautiful eyes

And she's like, oh you're a customer and he goes for your eyes. Yeah, so she's like, oh, I'm afraid they're not For rental and he's like, ah, I don't mind you It's really funny to because the actress playing this woman Really makes this work because the way she plays is just that she's kind of indulging him Which is really fun that it's like, oh, this is like a bit of kind of indulging him, which is really fun, that it's like, oh, this is like a bit of, kind of, he's doing some bullshit here, but it's kind of fun, I'll go along with that.

It's also really funny that like, oh, okay, so your secret's like, Agent 700, rocks up to get his car. What's the car gonna be? Is it gonna be a DB5? Yeah, that's the mind. Yeah. It's gonna be like a Jaguar E type. No, it's a fucking piece of shit.

Renault. It's a, it's good. Renault don't fiend. Yeah. It's just this gay little clown car. It's this tiny little fucking French car. I have so many thoughts about his gay little clown car, but first we're going to talk about the thing that kind of really is moving. Yeah. Yeah. This was a shame. I was enjoying it to the spot.

They, they take the sort of really, yeah, yeah, this was a shame. I was enjoying it to the spot. They take the sort of like, a slightly too fun seduction thing, a step too far, where he'd like, forcibly pulls her in for a kiss, right? But because they got a gay actor to do this, apparently it wasn't convincing because they put it in fast. They do speed it up really interestingly. Obviously in real life, he was like gentler and softer about this, but then they just put it in fast version. Because obviously in real life, he was like gentler and softer about this, but then they just put it in fast motion.

Sort of a laser-beast situation. But in my notes, his mega-nonce fast motion attack to the genuinely what it is. It's like, it's like, it's a stand, mega-nonce fast motion. It's like, he just like grabs her into like fast motion.

And it's, you know, the classic bullshit thing where he like kisses her and she's like, horrified, but then into it. Yeah, it's an assault. It's a sexual assault. It's a real nasty. Which is a real shame. And then he, but he likes actually a soldier

and then drives away in the smallest, chisiest, Frenchist car, which, yeah, it's not right. It's like this visibly the body is like, the body of the car is moving as he gets into it. And it's just like this isn't like even at the time they couldn't have thought this was cool. This is just pathetic. They didn't think that was a sexy car.

That was definitely a joke. That's a punchline. Yeah. It's just. Oh, Prem. So he goes to to try and trace Renault, the instructor. And he goes to Renaut's apartment,

and a guy opens the door. And I found sort of like, you know how on the Godfather part one, the first guy who comes to Don Corleon is like visibly shitting it, and he's like rehearsing his lines outside the door. And you know that that's like a real Malfioso who they just got to do it because he wasn't an actor and he was

Reversing the lines for real right because he was just playing it to be like terrified It's good. I have found another role like that which is this guy who opens the door because Because oh, it's a Sunday set goes hey you you ran out and he goes Yes, and it's like okay, we need you to do some bad act. And it's perfect. Clearly panicked. Yeah. Yeah. This is the role you would get me to do. Like this, because this, this henchman, yeah, me too. Doesn't immediately resort to violence the way that a bond

henchman with like a, a quirk fucked up disability would, but with like, you know, metal eyes or some shit, worked up bond henchman, you know, metal eyes or some shit. Quirked up bond tangibly, you know. Quirked fucked up, it's a bit. You know, like, you know, shit. Like having no eyes or whatever. Having no eyes, having no eyes, having no eyes or whatever. Yeah, I mean, I've got to have a metal ears

or some shit that a bond got around. He can hear you from a thousand years. This guy's just a dude, and he tries to bluff his way through it first, like, very unconvincingly. And he doesn't immediately fight, but when they do fight, it's good. Yeah. Yeah, they have a fight which is, I mean the choreography is not great but like better than fucking early

bond who only had like heavy attack and grapple like that's the way that's true. This shit is amazing. Yeah. It's like a ground game. Yeah, ultimately, oh, it, OSSIS-SONI set tries to interrogate him and then accidentally the guy falls on his own knife. Yes. In a way that's kind of contrived, but the thing is, I quite like this is a clumsy, stupid killing. Yeah, I like it a lot. And OSSIS-SONI set just sort of like,

emotionally goes through his pockets after it's like... OSSIS-SONI set stands next to the body and presses square. Just like loose. What is in your inventory, mother of a... He has tape all. Yeah. Let's go. I'd hate to have someone go through and wipe it.

Immediately becomes over and come, but like walks to the chair really slowly. What he does, what he does is he like goes through his stuff, leaves him there with the knife to keep out of his back and then sits there and turns the lights out and sits there on the dark. And that we see James Bond and Jason Bond and any number of other counts do this.

But we only see the end of it when someone else comes in, discovers the body of the lights garpent bond is like in the chair of the gun, like, yeah, huh. We seldom see them do this part. Yeah. Because that makes them not magic. It just makes them unusually callous and patience. Yeah, it's really, really good.

I also think this is a really good use of the film stock too, because obviously, as we mentioned earlier, shadows are much more visible in black and white. And half the shot is just filled up with this guy's shadow. It's really nice. It's like one foot still in film noir, which I really like. This director did a lot of crime films, which you did as a writer.

So at this point, Nicholas and Bridgetta arrive and they're like, somebody been vaping in here, smells of... Storbridge is? I think this is so funny, because they open the fucking door. And we're not just like, well, I'm gonna go to the police again, I guess. Generally, the reaction that this gets,

it's really sort of like undersell. So he's like, all right, fine, whatever, two corpse in a week. What's really funny is Brigitte's reaction, where she opens the door, turns to see him, and just goes, really needed more than a gauze. Gotta be more than a gauze. The guy's like fully dead on the ground,

and the best chicken mustop is like, oh, as like, you don't have to do like full horror movie screen, but like give me some. Oh, shit. She then leaves. She's like, I don't feel good. I feel unwell. Have you seen this, Cops?

I'm gonna go. And then at that point, Bond, brackets French, Uber, emerges and says. It springs the... Yeah, it's like, aha! And he claims to be William's brother-in-law. He's like, oh, my brother-in-law was shit at diving, but I'm here to collect his body, take me to the body.

And he's like, no. It's like, well, I could go to the police. And for a guy who was just about to do that, this immediately becomes a sort of like powerful threat. Because. The point. Yeah, he genuinely walked in this room like, well, guess I have to talk to the cops again.

And from this moment on, Ubea's big hold over him is I could go to the cops. He really does control the scene though. I, great work, I I got really, really solid. Strange nut based threat follow where he just like fishes a walnut out of a bowl on the guys table and is just like, you're the nut. I have crushed the nut. What? Check this out. I'm the other bad guys who are following you with the fingers. You're not in my hands. What?

You're not in my hands. You're the nut in my hands. And if you don't do what I say or do, this is going to happen to you. Then you're not. And they're like, whoa. Do you have any vape? You're not is all over my hands.

I'm going to through to like coming to someone's front room and just start crushing the nut. Yeah, it is. I got to bust your nuts. They're done. It's over. He said he says, he says you're the nut like to a lot.

So many times. I don't know why that's being. Look, look, look, look. Yeah. I think he might even call him Voo. If he said, look, what? We do our best here. You, you say are the nut.

And then he's like turns on and down. He's like, would you like help disposing over the body? Do you want to choke down? Body out the window though. Because he, he sets this up. Because he like, when he's scouting the room, he notices that they have a window that just opens off the cliff down to the sea and he looks at that for a second and then he sits down and then when, um, we're on our own project,

come in, when I was like, fuck, we could just chuck it out the window, I guess. So it's just like, you want to hand chucking that boy out the window? It's only their own good terms. It was worth it to see a 1960s French movie dummy get tossed off a cliff. Insanely fucking funny shot. The dummy's so badass, so hilarious. They follow it all the way down. Two things to discuss immediately.

First of all, as was the sound of a dime, all filming was done visual only. There was no sound recording. Everything is folded in or dubbed afterwards. Which means within a lot of scenes when he's walking around if they don't know what to do, so if they do the fucking James Bond thing and just, okay. The entire time he's just doing something normal.

Yeah. But the shot of this dummy coming out the window is so good, because it comes out like it's fired out of a cannon. This thing is falling like 20 feet away from the cliff. Yeah, they must have really fucking thrown it. Two stage hands have just like gone. The dummy is in a seated position, falling completely stiff, held on the hallway, and then when it hits the water, the fully splashed is so inappropriately gentle

Which is just like It's like And I'll make them like this anymore. Great. It's really good. They make them better, but that's worse So he secures an agreement from Renato to like meet him tomorrow morning and he'll take him to the grotto, right? Ah, Bridget has overheard this. Oh, yes. She pretended not to, but she has invited overheard it. Yeah.

He does some more charm with her, including a very slick move, where he shakes hands with her goodbye, and then kind of like holds onto her hand for a second as he leaves. It's like, yeah. Yeah, so he then goes to investigate Rousse's room, and there are two guys waiting for him in your classic

sort of like spy movie thing, one of them sort of like in a car directing the other. And the way they film this, it's the one's real misstep in the cinematography, is he's looking around the room, and then there's a reverse shot to outside, which makes it badly look as if one wall of the room is this parked car. Yeah. Yeah, sliding everything er, er, er, er, er, hour. look as if one wall of the room is this parked. Yeah. Slight editing error there. Hour. Yeah, this is the fake blind guy from earlier and then just an extra goon.

Fucking blind again. The extra goon guy tries to like hold him up with a 45, like a 19-lam, by the way, they're blasting the same song over all this, as you say. Yeah. Oolala. What he does is he like, high kicks the gun out of his hand. That was impressive.

Which he hates us. We get a bunch of like pretty dubious foliar of punches. It just sounds like someone like knocking a stack of cans over. It's kind of fun though. Yeah, it's fine. It's a better fight soon than the first one. I always appreciate anything that opens with being held up with the gun and then having it like kicked out of your hand.

Yeah, I'm mentally comparing this to the Connery bonds and this is better than any of the co-oreography we've got in that. Sure. Oh, easily, easily. The other henchman runs over his body in the getaway car to drive away. Yeah. And so who doesn't have a chance to interrogate somebody again. It's like, oh no, what's going on?

It's a mystery. It's good. You gently clips this guy with the corner of the car. He dies instantly. Yeah. So the check that Uber does is like lift up one eyelid to see if the guy's eye is moving when it isn't. He's like, where is death? That's the square.

Loot's all of his belongings again. Just a lot of wheels and cheese. Renata is like threatened in the middle of the night. By the way, after all this shit, he and Brigitte are sleeping on bunk beds, which is just really insulting. Like, do all this shit not to get a hot girlfriend, she's like on a bunk above you and it's like, okay. Maybe, maybe she's into that. Maybe that's, I don't know. What, bunk play You're top or bottom yeah

So bunk beds so you'll take turns like uh Sorry really funny to imagine somebody who's so innocent they ask if they're a top or bottom when they go do you have bunk beds? That's fucking hello. That's really good. Okay. Yeah That's going in a script that's going in a script. That's going in a script. Sorry, you can't have that. He gets threatened in the middle of the night by the guy who found Rousse's old dive gear. And he leaves with the boat and Brigitte in the middle of the night, forcing the next morning who was found the birth empty to go and find a plane,

and then use that plane to figure out where the boat is and where it's going. Yeah, so he follows the mountain sea. First, he spies on some women who are sunbathing topless on the boat, which I'm not so fond of. The general aviation nonce. And then he sees their boat and he's like, sort of deviance from that that they're going to Nice. So he has to go to next location, which is Nice. He then follows Brigitte into a cafe and has a sort of a conversation with her.

And she's like, he does have a good line, which is she's like, oh, fancy running into you again. He's like, oh, the free world's very small, which I quite like. Yes, nice. She's also, she says she running into you again. He's like, oh, the free world's very small, which I quite like. Yes. She's also, she says she's a Swedish model. Yes. And she says that she's Nicholas's mistress,

even though they sleep in separate bunk beds. Mm-hmm. That's just what she thinks being a mistress is. When you share a bunk with someone, well, not even a bunk bed with someone. And he says, I'm looking for my brother-in-law's body. It's important. And she agrees to meet him and help.

By the way, it's got a frank conversation about sex. It's not even the bond ones used more innuendo than this. Whereas he's like, are you fucking him? And she's like, yeah. Were you fucking Roos? And she's like, no. It's surprisingly blas-ing French, I guess. She says says no, I wasn't fucking Roos and he just goes why not He was a hot guy and the great diver why were you like he's really sort of like wingmaning his boy from beyond the right

Like why not he's got a lot to offer I mean not now Yeah, let less so now. No, no. No, it's not shot in a chest. It's fine. She leaves. And he's like full fathom five by now, like his eyes are like, oh God, I thought he was left on the order. Okay. Now you're right now. It was nice. It's not looking good. She, she, she leaves and he follows her in the most obvious, I am following someone down the street. Yeah.

Yeah. They had an inventor that's been all shit. Yeah, he's like leaning behind postcards and like columns and shit. It's really, it's really great. It's, it wouldn't be more obvious if he had like a big, like a big newspaper open with the eye holes cut out, just walking down the center of the street to us, huh? What would you do if you saw someone on the street like hiding behind a pillar,

like clearly following someone? Because I feel like that would trigger my like video game NPC sort of like alert face. I feel like I'd rock up and go, so what's what you did? What's going on? Why are you doing that? It's like, I think I would just go,

must have been the wind and carry on with what I was doing. You're very like little peripheral vision. I would do the same thing that I do whenever I see like the police talking to like a homeless person or someone and just like, wait nearby. Just sort of put you in. You find a column across the thing and then also like, I take out my big newspaper with the eye

holes cut out we listening. And I sit down on a fetch. Yes, you might. Can you see the certificate? That's right. Well, I'd be in disguise, which is not wearing the hat. Of course. You can't tell who I am at that point.

Different, different person. So he follows her into a Catholic church where she meets a guy. Now this guy, this fucking guy. So this is Sasha Munin, who is meant to be a Russian agent. And this is Daniel Emilfork. Also gay, this is important for a point I'm gonna make lazy, right?

Chilean dude, very, very weird looking head. Also gay. This is important for a point I'm going to make Lazy, right? Chilean dude, very, very weird looking head. Really brutal. I don't know, like severe facial features. Love it. It's like the cheekbones and sort of like the hairline. I got a man up with his hand. Yeah. Same as clocky. He's saying I'm clocky. He's like, break that. No, he's like, this guy looks like an eagle. He looks like a bird. Yeah, yeah. The eve review look like this guy. I fuck it.

I'll talk about it now. I will talk about it now. The reason why I want to talk about the way this guy looks and the reason why I mentioned that he's gay is because it's the same thing you get with a lot of, especially like the combination of gay and Jewish actors in film noir in this sort of like, you know, 30s through 50s and including 60s, I guess, period, where it's like their cast faced first and their cast on this sort of like basis of looking

to the audience and being made to look weird and alienating and kind of effeminate threatening. Right? It's the same thing with Peter Laurie and the Morty's Forkin. Her bit long gets a few rolls like this. There are a bunch others whose names I can't even remember because they're really obscure sort of like film noir things. But it's like essentially the role is, check out this weird looking dude, right? Isn't he sinister? And there are some implications with those. And I see, I think it's done effectively here, but I think what we can say is that we can problematize

it. Yes, I believe that's true. Anyway, he's like her handler because she's a double agent. I like this reveal. I like that she's not just kind of a bikini bimbo. Really like this. Yeah. So she reports all of our assess Saundi sets movements to him and says, look, I'm gonna meet him tonight with Nicholas and he's like, look, make sure you get them into the apartment at 10 o'clock and then when Saundi set arrives, offer them a drink. And she's like, oh, you're gonna poison them

and he's like, that doesn't matter. We'll take care of it, you shut up. You don't just know anything Yeah, really really like hey has not reached the world of SV now and still hasn't but not that we would know That's why I had to start this podcast She's she's been given this mission sort of like an improv prompt her whole role in the whole next of the scene is like is always trying to get others to drink Yeah Her whole role and the whole next of the scene is like, is always trying to get others to drink. Yeah. Which is really funny.

By the way, we also see that French intelligence has gotten wind of this and like through a series of phone calls, there is a guy, T-Bur, who has been like detailed to follow Sasha. Mm-hmm. Sasha has a little meeting with a guy named Yugo, and I really like their energy. They have a great little rapport between each other. I love all my husband and his half names. They have a great little rapport between each other. I love all my management and this have names, they have personalities. Yeah. Sasha has a sick nasty calm.

He's a wake-all-a-car. Yeah, he does. Holy shit. Hell yeah, this car is so cool. Got a 61 Chevrolet in parlour. Beautiful. In black, too. Oh, I want this. But then he goes to you guys, I listen, I just get in there. You know, you have to do his kit for doing it.

And then we can go, and he's just poisoning every drink in the apartment. I find really fun. Yeah, the entire bar globe is poisoned. Can I feel whiskey, poison, vodka, poison. We did this bit in one of the uncle films were in in the reboot uncle the the 2016 one where she just poisons every drink in the fucking groove. It's like you were going to drink something. Yeah. I just really,

really like that as a technique because it yeah it's great. It's fantastic. So so oh, says Sandu said arrives at the apartment. Brigitte is trying to get them all to drink. She has a Yeah, it's great, it's fantastic. So, oh, so Sandy said, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, delayed by things. He's about to get some ice for his whiskey with the ice. He's kind of like frozen into the ice cube tray. He's like run under a cap to go that. Yeah, it's luck. It's luck. Because by the time he's about to drink his drug to drink, Nicholas has already had his in his collapse and somebody says like, oh shit, but not drink it. That's, I think that's what I like the most about this movie. It's they keep showing you like how how the cookie is made a little bit like with with you, you're sitting down and waiting, with this guy just poisoning every drink. And these are things that in the Bond films would be like,

it would just happen that that one was the poison, what, they would open the door and bond would be in there. But we get to see the setup a little bit more. It's nice. A little bit of trade crowd. Yeah, it's fun. So just in time, because Hugo is coming up the stairs to, I guess, kill them some more.

Just shoot them all while they're asleep, I guess. He's going to stab them in their sleep, I think, as the past. Yeah. And so he has to like, I mean, why not just poison them at this point, but anyway, so Uber has to like, to like fake being unconscious, who like slumps down the chair. like, so like fake being unconscious, you like slumps down the chair. And as this other guy who goes about to sort of like kill Renat, this guy, first of all, alarmingly bald henchmen, it's the first time we see him outside of the car, he turns his head and you're like, whoa, okay, an asteroid, not a big thing in 1960s France. Wow. That's why the women all look like that.

Yeah. This is, yeah. But the other thing about the alarmingly bald henchman is that he has a secret attack because, oh, Cecil, he certainly tries to creep up on him. And he has an instant knife throw. He just like tosses the knife and like catches the handle in his hand. Spivots throws instantly. It's really fun. This leads to like a knife fight. We're not gonna get stabbed at least to unconscious and dust.

And Saundi set deploys an Uncle Chop. He like Uncle Chop's user right in the neck and knocks him out. Yeah. Yeah. I fucking love you. I was like, oh my god, this is great. So good. List as if you're not familiar, like something we picked up from the man from Uncle series is that if you want to perfectly knock someone out, you just deliver them with like a straight hand karate chop. Like usually between the shoulder blades, in this case, like the throat is unusual, but it will just like just out like a light, just whew, shaw out. Yeah. So I appreciate the week we killed Renult without any sentimentality. He's just dead. He's dead, I really like that. He dies in the same way that everyone dies is,

you just see them lying completely still with a big knife stuck out of some of them. Oh, yeah. Bridget is unconscious. Yeah, I think she's been drugged as well. That's my belief for what you go as going to do. He was just going to come in there and just stick a big knife into all three of them.

Yeah, just like, it's three a big knife into all three of them. Yeah. Three knives. That was all going to get. Yeah. Three equal size knives. So at this point, who bail tries to escape, but Sasha is coming up the stairs and Teebo is following him.

And so what happens next is a kind of convoluted sequence where Sasha goes into the apartment, sees what has happened, perfectly like vertically escapes out of a skyline. He uses the ascend ability. He opens up the wheel of runes and uses ascend and just scrum. Yeah, just scrum up, yeah. Which leaves Tiba who has a gun and ends up holding up Ossosondi's set a gun. Thinking he's a henchman. Yeah, there then follows a fight scene where each of them get this to that gun kicked out of their hands about three times.

It's genuinely like every buttery gun. Like it's just like whoops. None of them can hold this fucking gun. That's right. So very lubricated pistol. Eventually. Eventually, the gun out of the hand, pick it up. Yeah.

Oh, kicks the gun out of the hand. Yeah, fix it up. Tivo gets to the gun point, calls in to French intelligence and asks them to call back, gets the gun kicked out of his hand again. And then while he's held at gun point, oh, it says something says like, won't you make yourself a drink? Now I thought this was like, he's testing him to see if he knows whether or not it's poison. I know that's what's to do.

No, he's like straight up poisoned. He's just like, when you have a drink guy collapse it. Yeah. This whiskey perfectly clear. And this guy slugs it like it's lemonade. Oh my god. He's mom turns that. Oh, so much. It's like half a mug of whiskey.

I guess if you're getting held at gunpoint and someone's like, make yourself a drink, you would get the whiskey and just fill the pint glass and be like, you know what? And maybe that's a die. I'm buying time. I'm doing little sippy-sip because I'm like, you't you wouldn't shoot a woman before she's finished her drink would you? That's true. That's true. That's true. You wouldn't you wouldn't shoot a woman before she's finished her novelty beer star.

You just you just sit down with one of her like fucking um brunch bloody marries. She's got like the pizzas and the bagels stuck on the top of her. I haven't finished my drink. You wouldn't shoot a woman before she's finished a commemorative chugging boot. A yard of hair. Sit down. I can't hold my shine.

Of whiskey. A horn of meat like you. Anyway, that guy get that guy immediately knocks himself out. They've- I still wasn't 100% of the boys and just knock you out. I thought he just killed us there. And the thing is, I thought it was a better movie when I thought, yes. But then, then, French intelligence calls back and you go fix up the fever. Sorry, you go fix up the phone. And like after like two cents, he's like,

Hey, it's fucking you, but how you doing boys? Yeah, I don't know, it's gonna be you. Just like, oh shit, T-Boh works for you. It's just like getting called by Emma and being like, Oh shit, I hope that was knockout poison and not dead poison. Yeah, hi, Barbie.

That's really funny is that like, Uber has sort of camel a Harris level of weird inappropriate laughter throughout this scene. He's like, the guy says two words, and he's like, he's asleep. We're like, wake him up. He's like, he's not too easy. He might have hit his head on the table as he went down. I didn't check. He could be very serious deal. I'm going to put him in a recovery position now. Just hold on hold on. I'm sorry. I was very confused just that I didn't know what was going on.

So he then has to do some more non-sign right because our our girl has been left under an open skylight that such as this, this is a jump vertically up. So she's gotten wet, and she just wakes up in his bed the next morning, in his pajamas. In his pajamas shirt only. Yeah, and we get a bit of sort of like comic relief about the possibility of roofing this one. Yes. Where she's like, oh, did she?

And he's like, no, but what if I had, though, pretty funny? And he does the weird Camila Harris love. He also says that he undressed her and then redressed her. So he has now assaulted her. Yes. But he clarifies that he didn't rape her and that he slept in a separate bed, so good guy. Greg.

He also says that this might be a joke or might not that he rubbed her all over with rubbing alcohol, which yeah, I don't know. Probably a joke, but very strange. Yeah, the joke is that maybe he assaulted this woman, like that's meant to be the joke. That's the big huge rolling in the aisles when they're playing this, you know. So at this point, we now go to the secret base. Yes. And I start paying attention to the movie again. I sit up in my seat because we've got a cave with a science device in it.

You know what it looks like, baby. Yeah. I love the science device. It's like hanging from the ceiling. It's like a Tesla coil looking thing. Yeah. Yeah. And we see this guy, Mayan, that's his codename. He's like a Tesla coil looking thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we see this guy, Mayan, that's his codename. He's like a KGB agent.

He's setting up the sub detector. Hey, I could use one of them. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. I mean, it's fucking like I'm throwing off the results all the time. But so he talks to his guy, Boris. Right, you know, you got to introduce a Russian guy that you don't write too much. You call him Boris. And Boris is like, what I've done is I've wired up two things. So what

we're going to do is we're going to plant the sub detector. And then we pull this white lever that blows up the small bomb that like dynamites off the cave entrance and seals the thing in here. And no one knows it's here and we're good Immediately next to that is the black Bomb unlabeled That's the much larger bomb that destroys Everything and kills all of us just in case I just Just think I put this in just a case and it's like

Boris mate maybe sometimes you shouldn't go the extra mile. What do you think? Yeah, Boris may still not the worst based self-destruct mechanism we've ever seen. That still goes to Thrush from the man from Uncle who had a time of clock on their on their wall that was one button and that you had to keep like changing the clock on it. You had to keep pressing it every 30 minutes to reset the count up? Yeah, really good actually. Yeah, the identical handles is really funny. It's just in case. Yeah, this is the bond that we have to press.

And right next to it, here's the one that kills us all. There's no key, there's no password. Unlabel, it's just a lever. Yeah. And there's no countdowns in case you press the wrong one by accident, you've got 30 seconds to change your mind. It's just like,. Yeah, and it's there's no like countdowns. In case you press the wrong one by accident You've got like 30 seconds to change your mind. It's just like no bam dead This becomes even funnier later having a bad day at work. Yeah So at this point having enlisted her her help again

Who about takes Brigitte back to to course good? They reuse the file footage of the Air France playing He is issued from the woman that he sexually assaulted earlier, a smaller shittier car. Gailor Clown car. Yes. Yes. I cannot stress enough how much of this movie, like as a percentage, is watching this guy bounce down a cobbled street in this small shittier gay little French car, all the wheels are pointing in different

directions like Loupon III and the soundtrack is going like, boom, it's so fun. But at this point, in this scene, right, when he gets the second shitty car, he drives them to our hotel, the soundtrack just gives up and they do it in total silence. There is also a nice moment in the airport where Bridgeta gets a moment on her own and another henchwoman called Lucia comes to her and gives her her instructions. And it's like, remember, if you don't betray Saundi set, then we'll kill you and your family.

Your family and stock home. Good news, you're on the duress. And it's like, okay, okay, I see the shape now. I mean, I saw the shape from the start, but you know. Not to keep calling, co and Matthew's the F-slur, right? But the scene where they check into the hotel is very cruising, because the gist of it is he has to get his wife like this woman out of the way and then immediately make contact with another man and take him to a bathroom.

Yeah, yeah. Listen, it's a tough life out there. It's filmed that way. It's genuinely, not intentionally, but it's like... It's cruising been invented then? Yeah, of course. Of course I had. Cruising's older than the fucking Babylonian Empire.

It's a lost art. Yeah. Well, I don't know. I think the people keep it alive, but yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't know. I think the people keep it alive, but yeah. He gets his own secret instructions. She's going through his baggage in the hotel room, and he has to make up another lie about why he's really there, where he's like, I'm from the sexy insurance company,

but I accept this immediately. Yeah, that's really good. You always want to get sexy insurance. You couldn't do this now. You couldn't be like, If you're a victim of a sexy crime, I actually work as an investigator for an insurance company.

A woman now would not be like, oh, yeah, they don't have you investigating, certainly more. Most recent example of this was memento. He's the only guy who is like, oh, in the past life, I was insurance company investigator. And it's like, oh, cool. It's like, oh, carry on, masculine, wow, damn. I'd like for being the insurance company investigator

to be that cool. Because I think we need more cool professionals. Yeah, yeah, yeah. California fire alarm. Exactly, that's what I was thinking of, yeah. License to just have a little look around. Yeah. See what's up. I'm so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, So they sort of reconcile on this basis.

And then they sail to the grotto to finally investigate the body. She has an extremely white wetsuit with matching goggles, tank and fins, gorgeous. We disagree. I write down here alarmingly unsexy rubber wetsuit. So maybe I don't know. I don't want to tell you.

I'll have to go to the tapes. I mean, I'm comparing it to like baseline wetsuits, which are extremely unsexy. This isn't the sexiest wetsuit we've ever seen on the podcast. That honestly still goes to be on says, but this is the second sexiest wetsuit we've seen. I mean, I'm gonna get people very mad at me here, but I just don't find Robert that sexual material to be honest. No, no, do I? But I mean, like relative to a wetsuit normally. I see. I see. That's like neoprene order, which is even less okay. Yeah, I had to do a play wearing a neoprene corset.

Yeah, it's a fucking nightmare. Yeah, got so sweaty. Yeah, so it's not fun. I've just gone to a tape, sorry. Not us, sorry. I'm outvoted. They dive and she's like ditches him pretty quickly, because she knows that he's being set up to be killed

and it's a trap. And the problem is that like infundable, they gave Bond a kind of baby girl red and white to Uber outfit. Listen, that was a good outfit. It was a good, the reason why he had that was because you could look at the thing and be like, that's James Bond.

Yeah, I can tell who's who underwater. That's James Bond voice. Yeah. Where's this? Oh, James Bond voice. Where's this in black and white? Hard to tell who's who. Yeah.

Same. Much more difficult. And I also sort of wrote down at this point, it's like an hour and 20 something into the movie. Can an underwater knife fight be boring? The answer? Yes, it can. Yes.

Yeah, my no say, this bit reminds me of Thunderball, which you should take to mean, I'm the most bored I've ever been. I like it. What is French for Thunderball? You know, probably Thunderball, but like French for Thunder, it's like Bal de Tonea.

It's just about life. De la Tonea, yeah. So he kills two guys, he like boops one of them with a prop knife, the other one gets shot with a spear again. He wins the fight, he surfaces again and is crying on the boat. She's also completely dry.

Not sure. And he realizes that she's betrayed him and he throws her down, he beats her. He does the, he does the like, it's vintage sort of bond, women down, he beats her. He does the, he does the, it's vintage, sort of bond, women abuse, because he slaps her a few times and then he does the thing that like men do to women in these shots where he just kind of like grabs her

by the shoulders and shakes her a bunch, like a, like a, a baby you're trying to murder. Yeah. Yeah. He's slaps her in the face and then it hard cuts to them both in bed and him going, are you feeling better now? I'm like, what? Yeah, genuinely.

Is there a real missing? Was there something like? Did they shack? You just like shake a lot and then like picks that up and like talks her into bed off camera? Like I don't. I don't know. I don't know.

Mm. Don't do that without consent. I mean, to be honest, don't do the like grabbing someone by the shoulders and shaking them thing. Whisk consent because like. Oh, don't do the shaking. I was talking about the slapping. Actually, no, don't do the grabbing someone by the shoulders and shaking them thing. Whisk and sent. Because like, I don't do the shaking. I was talking about the slapping. She know, don't do the eye.

They don't crack my teeth. And I need those to work. It's going to take the rings off first, not that. I mean, you know, I've been slapped in the face a lot. I'm fine. Oh, I mean, so bad, but I stopped doing because you can crack your teeth. Really? I mean, no one noticed with me.

And so, like, a sort of alarming, alarming digressions in this episode. At this point, he has to contrive a way to get out of her clutches, which he does by getting arrested. They do kiss at this point, and that's why my notes say, did they shack? Because there's suddenly a level of physical intimacy here that seems to have been absent before. I don't know.

Yeah. She's also apparently told him everything. Now, I'm just like, okay, is there a scene missing? Yeah, and then he gets arrested for being a nonce, and I'm like, massadol you for Bridgett here. I'm funny if this is the end of the movie. It's just, it's just some guys coming in and like, Andrew under arrest, and he's like, what? What? Just like, yeah, you saw the culture of joke. No, I've been investigate in the shit the whole time. But no, it turns out that it's like French intelligence. And this guy, Ferrestier, is like running the whole thing.

Felix, Felix lighter. Yeah. Felix lighter, brackets French. There is also a comic relief guy whose job is to follow him, who looks alarmingly like Chris Maltes-Santi, and who gets an extended comedy scene where he's trying to use the phone to call into the Russians, but there's a woman in there. Doing a make up.

Whatever. The plan is, so 117 looks like he's been arrested and so Bridget obviously goes back to the secret base where her handless are, and then they're like, ah, now we follow her and she's going to lead us right to it. That's the plan. And they do. So they get to the secret base, and then they're like, how are we gonna get in?

And then the henchman who's been following them comes up behind them, and they get into get out of his car. And then they uncle chop him to death. Yes, they say that actually, like, for us to punch his them, he's like, oh, uncle chop guy's fucking dead. Uncle chop him. And then, and then, and then, so he says like, oh my god, like this for us to punch his thin knees like, I'm just saying, fucking dead. Uncle Chop's him. And then, and then Sony sets like,

oh my God, like this man's fucking stone-call dead. You're a murderer, motherfucker. Like, see, that's what happens if you try to do the uncle chop, but you haven't had the training that uncle provides. Yeah. It's a dangerous to be fucking around with. It is.

Don't try this at home. And then, Sony set managers to Uncle Chop at God without killing him. And they even make a joke out of this. Is he dead? He's like, no, he's fine. We'll just stash him in the boot of the car. With a dead guy,

I always wondered about this with the Hitman games. It's like, I cannot imagine many more traumatizing experiences than waking up in a sort of like closet or sort of locker or trunk of car, having been Uncle Chopped, next to a corpse. It's a bad situation. It could be worse. It's true, but like, talk about your survivors,

guilt, Jesus. But then also you're like, well, they probably think I'm dead. I guess, but at what point you get out of the trunk. And then you can do the James Bond thing where you go, and you just disguise yourself as a mummy and scare a hen. Smart. That's true. You can do that.

So what they do is they weaken that bunnies this guy. They just fully put him in the front of the car, have him like honk the horn, and have the guard sort of like open the gate for him. They even nod his head at one point, which is feels insulting, you know? They do nod his head, it's funny. This guy, by the way, he's the blind guy from the start.

Oh, okay. Finally, we've wrapped up that particular thing. Oh, okay. Should be driving then, too. Yeah, he's supposed to recognize him by his distinctively large eyebrows. But what excuse me? It's just something.

We shouldn't be driving if you're dead either. The guy who looks like Christopher Moll's a Santa. So we get some scenes where when Mayan is kind of like threatening Brigitte and her family in Stockholm. And yeah, she's like, oh, they're gonna take me back to the USSR for trial. She goes to her bedroom and Sasha has to put the like in-sale moves on her to prove that he's like

sinister and sexually predisputary. Which he does and he's like, you know, I'm your only chance of like getting out alive at which point, OSS Sunday set, like, springs out and strangles him for a bit. Just like, no, just, just a one punch knocks him out. Just, just one hit. Oh, excuse me, the strangling is the last one, yeah. And then Mayan enters and Lucia to and gets 117 at gunpoint and captures them all. Yeah, by surprise, because he has them at gunpoint at first. And then they're like, guess what, bitch, we have two women.

And we see here, we've got all the, all the kinds of women, blonde, brunette. That's it, baby. And that's good. Yes, that's all of them. And our knowledge and belief and she's no women of color, no people of color at all in both the colors blonde. You're black and white. Yeah, there's everyone's in this film stock. They do the classic get handcuffed to a pipe bit.

Yeah. And then a handcuffed to a pipe for us. Yes, out though, the sniper rifle. So they're going to be taken back to the USSR and tried, which is cool. I thought they were going to be like, and now you will remain here and we'll blow up the base and you with it. Yeah, I like that. No, I mean, it's like, no, we will take you back to the USSR and try you.

Perhaps we will even persuade you to join us. Yeah. What they want to do with with OSSONDU set is like if they can't do that, interrogate him and then trade him in a spice swap. Yeah, they even say this. Yeah, it's all they want. It's quite cold. Yeah.

It's also quite nice that their plan is not to like end the world or steal a bunch of gold. They're like, no, we want to give our country a slight military advantage. Yeah. We want to know what the guys are, which is reasonable. So Sasha takes them out on a boat to get them to like a rendezvous off the coast. This is where Ossetani Satyusha tries to like strangle him with his handcuffs. Yeah. What Sasha does is he like fains unconsciousness and then goes for his boat to gun. He has a gun hidden on the boat. Yes, he does.

Hell yeah. Especially a little like coffee, especially all compartments for this, for this, for this wasting for this moment. You don't want the gun to get wet. That's true. That is true. Listen, when you put the gun in your fridge, it's, you're not planning to use it. You just want it to be though and That's true. That is true. Listen, when you put the gun in your fridge, you're not planning to use it. You just want it to be, though, and you need it. I love gun.

Cold, nice cold gun on a hot day. Sishing on it. Correct, temper. Oh, I got Joker the live show. Sasha's Britishist for his boat gun. Bridgete quicker off the ball, turns around, just kills him out of hand. And there is a funny little bit where like, oh, as the son who said doesn't realize, that's what she's done. He thinks she's just like, hold off and killed him for no reason. And it's only when he'd like checks and sees that he had a gun that he's like, oh, thanks. At this point, we get the moment that Kuspi to laugh out loud. Yeah. This is just a thing. Right. Okay. I hear us are on the boat. Correct me. He's got a rifle. We're going back. We're going to have the final confrontation.

And Mayan and Lucio just like, I don't want to do the final confrontation to you. No, they just pull the black lever and put himself high. Literally, it's quite nice. Like, he holds the lever, he's like, we're done. It's over. He holds the lever. She puts her hand on top of his hand on lever,

and they just pull her, and it just goes. And it's like, that's the movie. It is the end of the movie now. Bang! Mine just goes for it. It's over. The thing is, I'm so glad Boris installed this just in case. The thing is, there were ways to film this effectively, right, to be like, damn, this

is like ice cold. They'd rather die than be captured. Like mine even says, I know too much to be taken alive, right? But the way that it's filmed and the way that it comes out is like, well, time to kill ourselves now. Yeah. Yeah. Pulls the thing, blows up. And like, that's not all the movie because there is one little bit at the end where in a very sort of smarmy way that the laser movies will parody very well. Osset Sondi said is like, yeah, we got to like go back and say bicep for S.O. and to you looking into the camera,

wink and that's the credits. Just upping the S score by a whole point by doing that. That's right. And speaking of which, I mean, do we have any sort of like closing thoughts about Osset Sondi said is off the fucking chain? I liked this and I liked iti set is off the fucking chain. I liked this. And I liked it more than I liked the early bonds. I had fun.

It dragged a little in act two, which these films often do. But I don't know how to find one with it. It's a shame about the assaults. It's in many ways a better movie than Doctin does. Yes. But it doesn't have the innovation of the villain, right? My aunt's not, he's not a fish window. He's not doing any monologues about how, oh, it says, Andy said, there's a stupid, stupid.

Does he really do anything except kind of stuff in the movies? No, he's like, hmm. That's good. I've really enjoyed this. I bet back a really sort of like self-deprecasing joke. I've tried it there for growing as a person. I've done it for sort of like self-deprecasing joke while I was trying to get that from growing as a person. I'm proud of you. Thank you.

Thank you. So yeah, there is an alternate timeline in which these were the sort of like primacy of sort of like spy movies and like France, you know, one of the sort of civilization cell cultural victory. And you know, everyone's like, oh yeah, James Bond, you mean the British OSS, Sandy Sat? Yeah. Because in many ways, this guy isn't Bond, as I stated. He predates Bond. He was already very well established by the time the Bond movies started coming out. There were 88 fucking novels by 63, which is the year that this movie came out.

by 63, which is the year that this movie came out. So like, it's sort of not bond, but it is in many ways bond. But bond is all the brother. That's what I like about it. It's sort of, it's, it's almost unfair that this got shoehorned into a Euro spy. When a lot of the Euro spy that we're going to see is going to be very, very derivative, this kind of isn't because there isn't much to derive. That's, that's what I think I like about this. I like, there's got, there's a lot of OSS on these set movies that are gonna be into space throughout this season. We're not just doing them in order, but they do go as a brief reprieve

because these aren't really specifically texturally parodies of James Bond in a way that a lot of the other Euros by movies were. So they have their own little innovations to the thing. They have different ways of doing it that I think will be very refreshing when it comes to the next one of these. Yeah, I'm looking forward to that.

That's pulling that this dude is supposed to be Louisiana. Yeah. But there is an alternate universe in which people were just like, oh, James Bond, you mean the British straight OSS Saudi set. That's right. That's right. I genuinely believe that the kind of like

current Matthew's masculinity would have been. Maybe, yeah, like a somewhat better timeline of that had been the one that had caught on instead of short cornerings. Because although he does a bunch of the same things, his heart's kind of not really in it in the same way. Kind of like a Roger Moore. Anyway, I love it. Like. Kind of like a Roger Moore. Anyway, a little bit like a younger fitter Roger Moore, but we have a science based rating

on this podcast, which we are going to deploy for every euro spy movie into the strike as ended. Now, it's called the scum system. It stands for SMAM cultural insensitivity, unprovoked violence and misogyny. How SMAMI is Ossess on disset, Sideschen? Well, 20 new listeners, we go to a soft cap of seven, but a hard cap of 10 if we think the movie is exceptionally bad in one of these areas.

I don't think it's exceptionally Smaami. It's not. Like, I don't want to... It tends to become a power and if we're going to be going over seven. Yeah. Yeah, I think the thing is I don't want to sort of grade on a curve, is it work, right? And I think that's something we've been careful to avoid

with the bond movies. It's to be like, well, it was of its time or whatever, or like even the opposite of that. Well, it's grown as a franchise. No, we're judging these things sort of like an isolation. But even on those terms, I just like Ciscolani, but what? Yeah, it's like Ciscolani, but.

I think it does get a full point for that wink at the end. It's got a good one. The wink is pretty smarmy. The like discreet episodes where he activates non-smote are pretty smarmy. Yeah. The, the nothing would be smart, me if it wasn't so insane.

To be like, just look a guy really intensely in the eyes and be like, you're the nut. You're like this nut. You're like this nut. You're like this nut. What was his plan? He's just, you're the, you're the nut in my hand. Well, bust, you're not.

He spent the whole time he was waiting in that room looking at things in the room to threaten this guy with. I've been like, I gotta go with the nut, I think. If he hadn't had a nut in that bowl, he's like, fuck, you're like, you're the apple. You're like, sort of decorative horse. I've changed you. Yeah, to practice tearing an apple in half of his bare hands

so that he could do this. You're this pop toy. Where did you get this? What? You were this little vase in my house. Yeah, I would say it for. It's slightly more than average, but not a huge amount. Of troll and sensitivity. I mean, it doesn't really do any bits about Corsica or niece, which are the Russians are not played for laughs, really. Even when the guy is like, I want to kill myself now, that's what I tried entirely seriously

is like, this is a man with blood of ice running through his veins, kind of thing, rather than like, you know, these strange alien Russians, I do think that there's potentially a little bit to be said about Sasha, about Daniel Emelfer, but like, even then that's really, really like subtextual, and it's entirely possible, I'm just like making this shit up as I go. So there are no people of color who have lines. That's my, yeah, omission is baseline. Omission is baseline too. So say, what do we, what do we do for that? Like a three? Three? Am I bothering? Sure. Unprovoked violence, not a whole lot. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, but it's not like women to glorify the violence. He does poison a guy for the laughs. He does for that. Yeah.

He does poison a guy banter style. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like maybe, maybe he doesn't realize that guy works for French intelligence at the time. Still though, he's like, well, you have a drink of this poison whiskey. I think adds a little bit to the smile.

This is the thing that was smile. This is well. One or two. I think maybe that takes it up to it too. Yeah. And sadly, I feel like this is where the film is going. Miss Sojourney. And more points, Miss Sojourney. So we do have an on-screen sexual assault.

We have an off-screen sexual assault. We have physical assault for women. Mm-hmm a woman. And women exist to be facked. Yeah, I think, I mean, two of them, well, both of the women on screen are at least spies. And Lecia doesn't really do anything, sexual, which I appreciate. It's nice that she's not over-sexualized, yeah. For a rental car, lady. Like, all she does is kind of like serve Kant and then kill herself, which.

Uh-huh. I'm not gonna make that joke either. I'm so proud of her. I'm just curious. Well, growing as a person sucks. She's always there as like almost like a cuphur. Like here's a new small shitsy gay car, double-o-send. I wanted to come back.

You didn't fight, man. Yeah, I, she's very friendly. She's like, I just got this new job as, you know, cause the next one's setting like Bangkok. I just got this new job in the heart agency in Bangkok. Finally, I'm gonna be like thousands of miles away from like weird cage and dudes.

It's JW Pepper motherfucker. And this guy looms it on screen like, you're so on D. Um, no, I mean, I think generally for a sort of like on screen assault that's like portrayed as a positive we go for a seven, right? Yeah, I think we do. You're right, we do.

That is science, that's science. And that's unfortunate because that means that the film has been nudged up to a total score of 16 when it was doing so well. 16's pretty middle of the road for Bond, not as bad as Dr. No. So, I mean, it was a 17.

Straight. Watching this felt like watching a kind of middle of the road Bond's office for that. I feel that that's about right. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. The hell of a better than fucking Rambo ever did. Oh, man. Oh, no, I'm so glad we never have to do that again.

Yeah. Beautiful. Well, the next free episode, as long as we can find it, is supposed to be FX18 and 1964. OK. No idea what to think about that. But if we can't find that, then the movie that comes after that is Shadow of Evil, which is a direct sequel to not direct sequel, but it's the

next in the OSS on the set line starring the same guy. Lovely. Next bonus episode, I think we're going to do a Q and A. We are going to do a Q and A. Reset things in between seasons. That's right. You can Q us. You can ask us, you can, you can ask us cues and we will aid them. Yeah, when the episode comes out, I will also post a link for questions just for those. Yeah, it's nice a little bit better, this more para sociality. Yeah.

Find out who's been vaping in all of our front rooms. I can't believe she did that. I was surprised too, she's, yeah, I was just like, please don't fake it, my house. Thank you so much for joining us. We will have the Patreon. You can give us money. You can unlock, by this point, oh, fucking hundreds of new episodes. You can go back and listen to those.

You can go back and listen to the old James Bond episodes that we did, even. And we will see you next time. Off-wild! Off-wild. Off-wild. Abiento. Where it has come, it's all Allah. Thank you for listening to yet another episode of Kill James Bond. If this is your first episode of Kill James Bond. If this is your first episode of Kill

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