Kill James Bond! - S3E30.5: Sex and the City 2 [PREVIEW]

Episode Date: October 27, 2024

this is a preview of a bonus episode. If for some reason you want to listen to all two hours of our Sex and the City 2 discussion, check out our patreon! Yeah yeah I see your tv glowing, I see your people's joking, but it's my turn to pick the movie now and i raise you this. The most spiritually evil, vapid, breathtakingly solipsistic movie I have ever had the displeasure to watch. Sex and the city 2. I hope you're ready Joining us is friend- and all three hosts- of the show Mattie Lubchansky! Check out their patreon here, listen to No Gods No Mayors here, and puchase Boys Weekend here! ----- FREE PALESTINE Hey, Devon here. For the past few months I've been talking to a family trapped in Gaza, working to cover their daily living costs amidst repeated displacements in the Genocide. Their names are Ahmed and Layla, and their 4 kids are Jana, Malik, Lana and Amir. Anything you can contribute would mean the world to me. They deserve to live. They deserve to survive. https://www.gofundme.com/f/a8jzz-help-me-and-my-family-get-out-of-the-gaza-strip https://www.map.org.uk/donate/donate ----- Consider supporting us on our reasonably-priced patreon! https://www.patreon.com/killjamesbond ------ WEB DESIGN ALERT Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ Kill James Bond is hosted by November Kelly, Abigail Thorn, and Devon. You can find us at https://killjamesbond.com

Hello and welcome to another bonus episode of Kill James Bond. I am November Kelly, I am joined, as always, by my friends Abigail, Thorne, and Devon. Hey! What's up? Blah! Halloween special spooky! Bleh! Abigail!

Bleh! I want to suck your penis in public! And a very special, very spooky Halloween guest. We are joined by all three members of the cast of Kill James Bond and one third of no gods no mes, Massie Lepchanski. Massie, how's it going? Uh, pretty good. I was gonna say I also want to suck your penis, but it's been taken, I guess. I want to suck your penis.

Mattie Lebdambski? Uh huh. You'll get there. Abigool? Let's give her three to four minutes to get this one together. Mattie Blooddambski? Damned ski... Uh huh. You'll get there. Abigul... Let's give her three to four minutes to get this one together. Massive blood, damned ski... I do not drink calm. Vargas, he does not drink blood.

Dracula's ex-girlfriend, okay. Just to get really, like, out front with this. This is Devon's fault. Because. Because. Because it was your pick for something for us to watch for Halloween, and the brief was, something spooky, something scary. And this movie is scary, but it's not very spooky. You picked Sex and the City 2. LWX Now, if I can just get out right ahead of this and just start by blaming women, because both my mum and my beautiful partner Rebecca, basically at gunpoint made me watch the movie

Sex in the City 2 a couple of months ago. I can't stop fucking thinking about it. Well, ironically, or? Hurt people hurt people. In the same way that I did it to you. Uh huh, sure. It's sort of a shared pain is hard. I was gonna say, if they've recommended this unironically, you should break down. You should disown. No, no, God, no, don't worry.

I love horror movies, but I don't do like an October, I'm going to watch all the horror movies, but last my two last Halloweeny movies I've watched was last year. I watched all that jazz, which is a terrifying insight into this, the spooky experience of being Bob Fosse. And then this year I'm watching this, which is the third time I've seen this film? Third time. God. Okay. Now, what I will... Three times.

I'll defend myself on this one as well, because I didn't make you watch this. No. You heard that we were watching it. I put out a kind of like all points bulletin in girls' chats to say, I am being forced to watch Sex and the City too. Reputedly... Send help. Fire on my position.

Exactly, exactly. Don't let them dishonor me or this uniform. I accidentally posted, I'm watching Sex and the City in the main chat instead of just the KJV one, and it inspired some communication. Now I just have a lot of Sex and the City thoughts, because I've watched all of it. Like two years ago... Really? That's crazy.

I haven't even seen the previous movie. So like, I grew up, when I was a child, it was on HBO and I would watch it sometimes with my parents for some reason, but then a couple years ago me and my partner sat down and we watched all of Sex and the City, both movies, and then started watching it just like that, which I've seen now all of it, I can never stop, I have to keep current on it, I've seen every minute of every Sex and the City thing ever made. So you're our expert, whereas I came to this as a, I've never seen any Sex and the City, have no knowledge of it.

I've not seen anything but this movie. None of you have seen anything? No, neither have I. So what we've done effectively is we have brought you on Matthew any of it? No, no. Neither have I. Neither have I. So what we've done, effectively, is we have brought you on, Matthew, as our, like, psychopomp. You are gonna, like, you're the Virgil to our Dante, as we, like, sort of descend into hell. That's funny, that's what I said to my partner this morning, I said I had to go on another

podcast, and she said, are you being a psychopomp for Sex and the City, and I said yes, actually. Because Sex and the City, too I said yes, actually. ALICE Because Sex and the City 2 is notoriously terrible. It's like, universally critically panned by Lindy West so badly that it almost ended her career because of the way in which she wrote about this film. RILEY Wow. RILEY Mmm, yeah, No, not a good movie. Not just bad, but also maybe like an evil object? Like a vile object. Like an object of power and control, right?

I was expecting it to be bad. I was shocked by the racism of it. And also, it is quite spooky too, because a lot of it is about gay people. So it feels quite strange to be watching this as a gay person and be like, they're talking about me. And I can't say anything. This is a movie so evil that it cannot be watched, it can only merely be glimpsed. What's also very strange about this is that Sex and the City is the production of gay

men, right, about women. Yes. Oh yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Like, all the people who created this were gay men. One of the things Lindy West said about it in that review was that it was like watching gay men play Barbie dolls for two hours. And it's also, this movie is like, watching gay men trying to do women trying to do gay

men. Which is like a bizarre sort of Rube Goldberg thing. So, I will say, in terms of like, just like, in terms of the gay man who ran it, his name is Michael Patrick King, who is the guy who currently controls the franchise, there were two creators, him and Darren Star. Hornstar, I was gonna say. So through the first three seasons, Darren Star is the showrunner mostly, and the show is actually pretty funny and good, it is kind of like, what if there was Lady Seinfeld, it's very funny and interesting and good, and like, crucially, funny.

And then Darren Starr leaves the show, and Michael Patrick King takes over, and his only thing is like, this is a show about shoes, right? It's a show about shoes? It's about chicks. Absolutely. This is the Imelda Marcos thing. It becomes like, oh, women be shopping, the program. And like, people like, all of a sudden they're putting Miranda in an insane amount of makeup in high

fashion, which was that she's like a dumpy lawyer. ALICE Another key thing about this is that reputedly, Sex and the City always had this insane toxic mean girls culture directed at sacrificial anode Kim Cattrall, right, who plays Samantha. Her and, uh, two Carrie Branch, Sarah Jessica Parker fucking hate each other. Yes, yeah, yeah. Huh. Yeah, no, I understand this to be the case.

To the point, this is one of the nastiest pieces of Instagram feuding I have ever seen, which is when Kim Cattrall's brother disappeared and, like and was later found dead, right, she was thanking people for their support, and she posted in the midst of this, I don't need your love and support at Sarah Jessica Parker, you're not my friend. Whoa! Yeah, they really cannot fucking stand each other, and by the way, critical support for Kim Cattrall rocks, and I love it. Of course, truly.

Of course. Absolutely. Samantha Jones, number one. We'll get to the depiction of gay men in this shortly. Yeah, also a homophobic depiction of gay men. It is, but it's a specific kind of, well, I guess maybe this is an insight term. Maybe it's what we would call power gays, which are like, there are some people

in the entertainment industry, like the creators of the show, who like have a little fiefdom and are convinced that queerphobia is over because of this. I chatted with somebody who definitely fits this mold a while ago, who's a big commissioner in charge of some stuff, who's just like, there's no more queerphobia, there's no transphobia in the British TV industry, you're just not working hard enough. And I was just like, okay, cool. All right, nice. It's like gay men of a particular generation who succeeded before 2008, who have not yet

been replaced by anyone with more talent than them, who are convinced that everything is fine now because they can get married and afford shoes, and it's like, great, good for you. Yeah, none of this will ever, like, crucially become retrograde in any way. Trans women can finally be shopping. Yeah. I hate to do this to you, Matty, but my understanding of the characters of Sex in a City. Carrie Bradshaw, Nii Bradshaw at this point, I think she's married Mr. Pig. She's sort of like a columnist who writes about her dating life.

She is a column for The Village Voice, which is like an alt weekly in New York that doesn't exist really anymore. But she is a sex columnist for The Village Voice. She's based on real life writer Candice Bushnell, who, by by the way is the woman who appears in the movie and is like, you don't have kids? And sets her off on her whole existential crisis. ALICE Oh is that what that... ALICE Okay, right, we'll fucking get to that. We'll get to that. RILEY Yeah, so that's why it's shot like a fucking cameo, it's cause it's a cameo, that is Candice Bushnell.

ALICE She has three friends, these four women comprise a dramaturgical quadrilateral. Each one of them represents one of the fucking ancient Greek humours. ZOE No, I'm sorry, this is a dramaturgical point. These women are interchangeable. ALICE Also true. Yeah, but they're the fucking Ninja Turtles, but like, if the Ninja Turtles are high fat. ZOE Correct. ZOE And also, all of them were Leonardo.

RILEY I'm taking this movie in and of itself as the text, right? So that's what I was gonna say, in terms of like the Ninja Turtles, that makes sense for where the show starts. But where we, where you clowns have entered. Yes, we are. In 2010. They've all been flattened into Leonardo. So like originally, yeah, Carrie's like the sort of like every woman, but is like the

sex columnist. Samantha is a sex crazed PR power executive. Miranda is a lawyer, and is very dyke-coated, because she's played by a dyke, but is like a straight- She'll be an Exxon, what's up? Yeah, is a straight lady on the show until later. And then there is of course Charlotte, who is a Wasp maniac. Yeah, Charlotte who is also there, as far as I can tell.

I don't know what her main thing is, but we open up as any movie should with a brief history of New York, which is this. Once upon a long time ago, there was an island, some Dutch, some Indians and some Beats. Yeah, not good. Racist from the first line. At the American Museum of Natural History in Manhattan, there is a diorama of the purchase of Manhattan, you know, by the Dutch

from the Lenape Indians. And there is all over the diorama, big stickers that say, what's wrong with this? What was bad about all of this? Can you see the wolves in this picture? Truly that, like there's just big stickers all over being like, what's wrong with this diorama? Because it's like so, it's so wrong. That story. Oh, I love that. That's how it opens. Hey, usually me cutting in to be like,

if you want to hear the rest of this episode, go to the Patreon, patreon.com slash killjames James Bond or one word and sign up for at least a five for a month. Usually that's something that I do because I'm like punishing you, the free listener being like, if you want to hear the rest of this really good episode, you're going to have to cross my palm with silver, you know, you're going to have to give daddy a little bit of sugar. But in this case I really do think that I can't in good faith tell you to spend five

pounds to hear about the rest of Sex and the City 2. Spend it on one nice coffee instead. Just treat yourself. Don't worry about this movie. It's okay. You've got so much more to worry about.