Kill James Bond! - S4E20.5: End of Days [PREVIEW]

Episode Date: August 16, 2025

This is a preview of a bonus episode! Check out our patreon for the rest! This week on Kill James Bond, every 1000 years Satan visits earth to take a bride. In the year 1999, he's in the greatest city in the world New York City baby, and it's up to none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger to stop him! ----- TSHIRT ALERT: ADVERSE CONDITIONS MOVIE CLUB PREORDERS NOW OPEN Thats right, the long-awaited Adverse Conditions Movie Club shirt is finally available for preorder on our website. Featuring art from the incredibly talented Mika Kurzmann-Abrams! Preorders close end of August. ----- We've been nominated for Podcast of the Year at the ITV bCreator Awards! It’s public vote, so vote for us here under “creator shortlist”. should take about a minute, you don’t have to live in Britain to vote! www.bcreator.co.uk/awards/ ----- Friend of the show Bella, a refugee evacuated from Afghanistan in 2021, is raising money for her gender confirmation surgery! Anything you can give would be hugely appreciated! https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/team-bella ----- Check out friend of the show Mattie's new book Simplicity here, or wherever fine graphic novels are sold! ----- FREE PALESTINE Hey, Devon here. In our home, we talk a lot about how insane everything feels, and agonise constantly over what can be done to best help the Palestinians trapped in Gaza facing the full brunt of genocidal violence. My partner Rebecca has put together a list of four fundraisers you can contribute to- all of them are at work on the ground doing what they can. -Palestinian Communist Youth Union, which is doing a food and water effort, and is part of the official communist party of Palestine https://www.gofundme.com/f/to-preserve-whats-left-of-humanity-global-solidarity -Water is Life, a water distribution project in North Gaza affiliated with an Indigenous American organization and the Freedom Flotilla https://www.waterislifegaza.org/ -Vegetable Distribution Fund, which secured and delivers fresh veg, affiliated with Freedom Flotilla also https://www.instagram.com/linking/fundraiser?fundraiser_id=1102739514947848 -Thamra, which distributes herb and veg seedlings, repairs and maintains water infrastructure, and distributes food made with replanted veg patches https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-thamra-cultivating-resilience-in-gaza ----- WEB DESIGN ALERT Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ Kill James Bond is hosted by November Kelly, Abigail Thorn, and Devon. You can find us at https://killjamesbond.com , as well as on our Bluesky and X.com the every app account

Hello everyone. It's me Devon from potentially award-winning podcast Kill James Bond. And before I let you listen to this hour plus of movie-related podcastular entertainment, I need to ask you to give a little back. To do something for us. We've been nominated for the ITV BeCreater Awards podcast creator of the year. Hold your applause. And we need you to help us win it. We need you to go to becreated.com.com. forward slash awards select the category creator shortlist and then scroll down past all of these other bozos vote for us in the category podcast creator of the year and then move on with your life it'll take you just about as long to do it as it took me to describe it just then the links for all

of this will of course be in the description and all i can say is this episode of the podcast is free Please pay us back by giving us the opportunity to make a speech in front of a room full of entertainment and gag podcast industry professionals. I would very much like to do that. And without further ado, give it up for the theme song to Kill James Bond. Just kidding, motherfucker. Me again. Killjamesbond.com. We've got a shirt out.

You've heard about the Adverse Conditions Movie Club. Well, there is a shirt with art by the phenomenally talented Mika Kurtzman Abrams. You can find it right now, killjamesbond.com. This is a pre-order. So the pre-orders are running through until the end of August, at which time pre-orders will become closed. The shirts will go to the printers, go to fulfillment, and then reach you. Let's say, by the end of September. Why not?

You'll get them. They're real. The shirt will be just as high quality as the t-shirts you expect from us. We're using the same printer. We're using great shirt stock. I'm very excited about this. I know we've been teasing it for a very long time and it's finally out and you can finally buy it. Kill James Bond.com. And now, without any further further ado, it's the theme song to the podcast, Kill James Bond. Hello and welcome to another bonus episode of Kill James Bond. I am November Kelly. I am joined, as always, by my friends Abigail Thorne and Devon.

Hello! What's up? It's still religion season, on the quiet. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. can't stop us. The thing is, they've made a lot of movies about believing in God, about not believing in God, I guess that kind of covers all the options, but that's still a lot of movies.

And, you know, we have a solemn promise that we're going to do every movie. And if we don't do every religion movie, then we're going to have to go back for this. We're going to have to do religion season two, son of religion season. I've cracked the can, you know? And then that's going to create a whole schism, you know? Yeah, God. Yeah, you don't want to have that. I feel like I've got to keep going with it.

Does religion season have a son? should it have a son? What's the number of parts of religion season? You know, they're all part of one. Devin is not Abby is not. Is killed James Bond. Yes, exactly. Doing the bit from silence that's like,

could never compare himself to Jesus. But yeah, so this, Abby, this was your pick, right? Yeah, it was. I got to be real with you. I had seen 10 minutes of this movie as a child and remembered only those 10 minutes and had not seen the rest of it. But I remembered that it had a big goofy C.G.I. Satan in it and was like, fuck it.

Why not? That's a bad session. Yeah. And you know what? Stone Cold Banger. Great movie. Loved it. Fantastic. Abby doesn't miss, although she moves in mysterious ways. I feel like religion season has been, has been like heavily weighted towards Satan season for you, which, sure. Like, that's a wild. Absolutely. It's also waited more on. Yeah. I mean, he's a rapist. The world's biggest underachiever. So just, I mean, in terms of tone, the fact that this is an Arnold Schwarzenegger action movie

means that in order to restore balance to the force, I will be picking the most alienating highbrow thing you can possibly imagine for my pick, which is next. So I hope we're all excited for, I don't know, like five or six hours of black and white filmed in like a scrapyard or something that's about like. having a strong theology of suffering. The funniest thing you've ever said about this is just being like, Andre Rublev again, I wasn't done.

I wasn't finished talking about Andre Rubler. I got more to say about that horse. Yeah, no, I mean, you have to have a strong theology of suffering to stay friends with me, right? For real though, I like action movies. I wanted to watch one. I wanted to watch something that wasn't so serious for the pod. I'm watching a lot of action movies lately,

studying them, like studying great action stars of the past for no particular reason at all. And so I wanted to watch a fucking Arnie movie. Studying Arnie in order to work out how to make those noises. Getting like Austrian voice therapy in order to go like, ow, you know? Yeah. Season two, uh, sorry, you in redacted, I haven't done the ADR yet, so maybe I could go ahead. Just sneak one in like a Wilhelm scrim.

I don't know, I don't know, Abby, really good on set, but does the ADR sound like Austrian to you guys? I don't know, let's go. This is a 1999 Schwarzenegger movie that's like, let's say, spiritual thriller, right? Spiritual action movie. And we always... Spircially ripping off Devil's Advocate, which came out two years previously. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, movie fully fucking ripping it off.

I do, I do have to say, I do love an opening credit sequence of Catholicism's greatest hits. Oh, yeah. Which this is. Like, you have to say that Dominicans were cooking when they invented the Rosary and where's their movie? They were, because the only priests who are normal enough to be able to, like,

speak to filmmakers are all Jesuits. But it's, you got the, like, delicate string of pearls configuration. You got some, like, you know, like some, like Latin text. You got flames. You got parchment. It's classic fucking intro.

You've got a pentagram. There's the same shot of something smashing on a stone floor used three, times in this like the space of 90 seconds. I think it's specifically a rosary bead smashing, which you, where did you buy that rosary? Like, you took a few wrong turns off of some people square

and it shatters. You're like, oh, what the fuck? You bought some cheap rosary beads from Piotraskaga, not only is it shattered, but also you've been funding far right activity in Brazil for some reason. That's a quick PSA to the list is if you buy little Catholic chotchkeys and fucking

medals and saint medals and calendars and shit, check where your fucking money is going. Because if you're doing that in Europe, there is a serious chance that you are funding extreme right-wing activity across Europe and South America. Yeah, well, yeah, fucking, like, whatever. Anyway. Two birds one's done, baby. We begin with the worst event in any... We're Nazis now on the podcast.

What? In any paradox game, comet sighted. Because we are in, we're in Vatican City, 1979, and a spooky comet has been cited. And honestly, shout out to the props team on this one because, like, a priest goes into, like, a reliquary of, like, parchments and, like, it's like a silver reliquary with a bunch of parchments in it. It's, like, sick, actually. But, yeah, he reads this parchment. It's got a big picture of the comment on it. And it's like, bad news, chief, in Latin.

Warning. Malus News is, chief. Bad news. The plot of the movie, End of Days, is about to happen. And he's like, oh, shit, I got to tell the Pope about this. Malum noticium. So he goes to the Pope's smoky living room Which looks like the upstairs of a casino

I don't know why Yeah this makes the pop with really sinister That he's just hanging out in this like very smoke-filled dingy room Did the Vatican used to look like this? I don't know Yeah 99 this is John Paul Yeah but this scene is 79 The scene is 79 which were John Paul yeah

John Paul too yeah Not quite but No does not age when they get to the 1999 Pope, which is very funny. That's not realistic, actually, yeah. You become Pope. You instantly age visually to the age of like 100 overnight, and then you stay that way for how long until he die.

Who was Pope in 1979? Oh, God, probably pious, I don't know. It's like, like, who's, hold on. It was John Paul the second. I was right. It's still John Paul. Holy shit. He was inaugurated.

Isn't right. But like 78. 78. Fuck off. Okay, yeah. 78 to 2005. Motherfucker. All right, we'll play Pope John Paul.

It's actually Hector Salamanca. I thought it was Paul the sixth is who I was thinking of. But yeah, okay. But yeah, we really glossed over the fact that the Pope is Hector Salamanca. That's Hector Salamanca right there. That's Mark Mogoli. It's crazy that he is that. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

That's him, yeah. Who's that? What? It's him breaking back. Abby. You haven't seen. Oh, you haven't seen. Season one of Breaking Bad and then stopped.

That is crazy. I should watch the rest at some point. Yeah, genuinely check out Breaking Bad. Yeah, it's pretty good. Podcast recommends Breaking Bad. Okay, great. So the guy's like, Holy Father, turns out we're like mad turbo-fucked cosmic style. Yeah, but the comet.

Like, the comet is indicative that like a, the like Antichrist is going to be born, or at least the Antichrist's mum is going to be born. Yeah. Antichrist precursors are in like motion right now. The Antichrist Mum is being born now, right now. Yeah. Somewhere in the world. And they're like, shit, we have to find her?

And then everyone's like, have you seen the world, dog? Like, it's pretty big. We're Catholic, so we're all over. But like, come on. And there's a kind of division already within the church because there's a bunch of cardinals there who also will not age, who are like, we got to kill this fucking kid. Yeah, we've got to find her and kill her.

No Antichrist, mom? No antichrist. Flawless logic. Smart. Boom. Solved. Yeah. I just kill.

all the babies that were born that year in Bethlehem. Yeah. That makes sense. Easy. It's crazy. No one thought of that. It takes the Pope to be like, historically what's our stance on like the murder of children. We don't do that shit.

We don't kill the baby. Also, the Cardinal who's like, we have to kill her immediately, looks a bit like limmy, which is very funny. Don't back down, double down. Which he does do. So, yeah, because this baby is like going to grow up and then Satan's going to like impregnate that baby with the Antichrist, which is going to cause the end of days one of about 60 times they say the title of the movie in the movie.

And the Pope's like, no, dog, we don't kill people. We've got to have faith or whatever. Yeah, which vaguely like Pope-like thing to say is be like, don't worry about it, you know? I was like France's best when he was on the like, don't worry about it thing. I do. It's interesting to portrayal of faith in this movie.

is a kind of like, uh, trust, it'll be fine. Yeah, basically. And not a kind of like, you have to do good or you have to live by these tenets, but as a kind of like, don't even fucking worry about it. Or even compare that with conclave, right? Where faith is kind of like inextricable from doubt. Yeah, it's like, uh, faith is just like, it's kind of like a magic power that some Catholics have.

Anyway. All right. You know what the drill is? Patreon.com slash kill James Bond. If you want to hear the rest of this bonus episode. And hey, why not head to patreon.com slash kill James Bond via killjamesbond.com. And while you're there, hey, why not toddle on over to the store section of our website and maybe pre-order the Adverse Conditions Movie Club shirt?

I'm spitballing here. I'm just spitballing.