Kill James Bond! - S4E32: The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

Episode Date: February 6, 2026

Welcome to: KJB Roundtable. On this stimulating episode, the girls are joined by Praxiscast's Rob and Tran Girlismo's Victoria Scott to discuss 2006's Seminal 'Tokyo Drift'. Considered by many to be the high point of the Fast and Furious franchise, Tokyo Drift is famous for being the only movie in the series that's actually about the act of street racing, as well as infamous for having a wooden lead and absolutely fucking the timeline up for everyone. Check out Podcasting is Praxis here! Check out Tran Girlismo here! ----- Check out friend of the show Mattie's new book Simplicity here, or wherever fine graphic novels are sold! ----- FREE PALESTINE - With the ceasefire in full effect, the media has returned to ignoring the daily atrocities in Gaza. My friend Ahmed still needs to feed his family and afford medicine. Anything you can kick in would be hugely appreciated. https://chuffed.org/project/150817-please-help-ahmed-and-his-family-get-food-drink-and-medicine And these are some more general links you can support collective efforts with! -The Palestinian Communist Youth Union is doing a food and water effort, and is part of the official communist party of Palestine https://www.gofundme.com/f/to-preserve-whats-left-of-humanity-global-solidarity -Water is Life, a water distribution project in North Gaza affiliated with an Indigenous American organization and the Freedom Flotilla https://www.waterislifegaza.org/ -Vegetable Distribution Fund, which secured and delivers fresh veg, affiliated with Freedom Flotilla also https://www.instagram.com/linking/fundraiser?fundraiser_id=1102739514947848 ----- WEB DESIGN ALERT Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ ----- Kill James Bond is hosted by November Kelly, Abigail Thorn, and Devon. You can find us at https://killjamesbond.com , as well as on our Bluesky and X.com the everything app account

Hi, listeners, this is Abby. I am going to be live in London on stage in a play called Blink, which is about a woman whose downstairs neighbor gets in an obsessive parasocial relationship with her. It's going to be from the 19th of February till the 22nd of March of the King's Head Theatre in London. If you would like to come and see me live on stage in a cool play, you can. And guess what? If you use the code front row, you can unlock the front two rows. That is an exclusive thing for followers of the shit that I'm.

make. Thank you and hope to see many of you at the theater. You know, Sean, the Japanese have a saying. Try fat burger from now and you get yourself a double cheese with fries with $2.95, faggot. Welcome to another episode of Kill James Bond. I am November Kelly. I am joined as always by my friends Abigail Thorne and Devon. Ohio Gazimus listeners. Calabunga. Ohio Gizimus. And not as always. by two very special guests, because as soon as I said that we were doing, the first in the Furious Tokyo Drift, everyone who has ever looked at a car started texting me several times an hour to say,

when are you going to let me be on the episode? And I said yes to my two favorites of them. So, please welcome Victoria Scott from Tran-Gurlismo, and also, well, there's your problem. Hello, thank you for having me. And it's Rob from podcasting as Praxis. Hello, thank you so much for having me as well. I'm very, very excited for a five-person episode to talk about, I think maybe the most hyped and most fondly remembered film of the franchise. Oh, I'm going to be disappointing to listen to then on today's episode.

I wouldn't worry because I also felt sort of out of sorts with this, because as I was getting texts from everyone in the world being like, when are you going to let me on to talk about Tokyo Drift? I was watching Tokyo Drift and unfortunately I was like deeply nauseated through most of this. Not the movie's fault. Not in this case.

I just felt bad authentically on my own. And so most of my recollections of this movie are sort of like through a lens of oh, that time I felt like I was like going to be sick on myself. So, you know, enjoy that as a kind of lens of movie criticism. I was nauseated because of the movie. That's fair. That's allowed.

I think the context that I would like to bring to this is that when this movie came out in 2006, drifting had not really made it all that big in America yet. Like, I believe the first Irwindale drift event, the D1GP series coming to the U.S. The first time was like 2005, which was like the big competitive drifting series at the time. And so this was one of the only Fast and Furious movies where it felt like they were actually towards the front edge of Carcote. rather than following something that they had read about in, like, VICE, you know, a year or two ago, you know? Interesting. Okay.

Are you telling me cars are real from the movie? From the movie cars? From the movie cars? That's crazy. They made those? They made them in real life? That's nuts. I thought that was a cautionary tale.

Yeah, but so we begin with someone who is not Paul Walker. But to ease you into this transition, he is engaging in a Paul Walker type activity, namely entering a high school while clearly a third. 35-year-old man. Yes. I did not figure out that these characters were meant to be children

until about 15 minutes into the movie because my guy has crow's feet. This character's meant to be 17. This guy is like, this guy's riding in a fucking silver frame. What the fuck? The oldest high schooler in the world.

It's crazy how old this motherfucker. It's really, 35 jump street. I was a big, big fan of this. So this is Lucas Black playing Sean Boswell. And I'd now like to debut a surprise segment that I'm introducing to the podcast and we'll be reintroducing every time I see this fucker in a movie. Entitled, some of Lucas Black's tweets. So. Oh, God.

Oh, God. I'm just going to prime you for this, right? I'm going to tell you, there is no intervening tweets in between these tweets I'm going to read. So on the 8th of November last year, Lucas Black tweeted, hashtag roll tide. On the 30th of November he tweeted hashtag roll tide hashtag Iron Bowl 2025. On the 6th of December

he tweeted hashtag roll tide. And on the 21st he tweeted, I do not and will not participate in Halloween celebrations. We as Christians are supposed to associate with one spirit and that is the Holy Spirit. I feel like I need the Rosetta

Stone to understand it. He is a A beautiful, beautiful, stupid Chud. I have another screenshot of him here tweeting only the phrase hashtag roll tide and nothing else across a three-month period. What does that mean? Could be anything.

He is a supporter of Alabama. Yeah, Alabama. It's Alabama College Football. It's the fucking Crimson Tide, baby. It's the Tide, yeah. What? They call Alabama the Crimson Tide, I think. Yeah, the Crimson Tide, that's it.

He's very anti-trans. He's very, like, pro-Trump. He's anti-Vexamble. scene. He, uh, it is just, he's a million dollar question. Is he a pedophile? I don't think so. However, I did in the course of going back like two scrolls in the tweets find that on the 22nd of June 22, Lucas Black tweeted, I wrestle with my sons brackets ages eight and seven close brackets every day. It ends with hugs and kisses. Hashtag fatherhood. Hashtag bring masculinity back. That's really good. No, Baffling.

No comments, Your Honor. Baffling. None. To be honest, I kind of love this guy, right? Like, he is just... All right, I'm endeared. He's gotten so much more chud over the years.

His beard has grown out. It's just like... Oh, I got another one here. 29th of August, 2025. Lucas Black tweeted, Jesus said, Blessed of those who are persecuted for righteousness,

for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Hashtag Charlie Kirk. Hashtag. Christian Martin. What? This is the kind of incredible, I hesitate to say, mind that the United States of America can produce at the moment. Anyway, this clearly 35-year-old man. I was also distracted by this guy the entire time.

This 35-year-old chud. Yeah, walks into a high school. This is fine, apparently. He's presumably auditing it. Also, he was passing through a metal detector when I didn't immediately, I was like, I was in the airport. And I was like, wait, no, this is the United States of America. Yeah, yeah. This is just normal.

Yeah, he has to check that. There's even a zoom out at a moment. There's like a giant bank of television surveillance cameras of like all the angles of the school. It's this intro, I maintain that this intro is what of is Justin Lynn, the director was cooking something here. He had predictive powers over like where America was going to go in the next 15 years that I don't know, not sure that he knew he had at the time. No, I think the thing is like what he depicted was a poor high school in 2006, but he made

the characters wealthy and exempt from consequences. So it feels alien because it took 20 years for that to actually catch up for everybody. But like that is an average high school in an impoverished area in America in 2006. It's like the most, I watched it. I was like this is the most post-9-11 thing I've ever seen. It's just like, you have like a racist football team or rockles. The football team is racist in the sense that they are, they have a rivalry with another football team whose name is the Indians.

and so their team wants to beat the Indians and so there's a shot of like an Indian themed pinata and we see fucking whatever his name is Sean Boswell look askance at this because racism is bad and he disapproves of the racist footballman like to be a Carmen is that much cooler in high school the noble Carmen and the dishonest footballman

but he also doesn't intervene in the racial bullying of somebody outside the garage that he works in He sees that happen and walks away. No, and I kind of thought in that moment that I was like, oh, this is Hero refuses the cool shit, and like he's gonna be back, act three is he's gonna be like, you know, gonna beat up those guys. Not so. That just never gets picked up again.

No, it does. There is character growth, we'll get to it. There is, there is a little bit of character growth. Oh yeah, you're right, there is. Yeah, okay, sure. Yeah, that's fine. We can cut that, it's fine. Or maybe we don't. Maybe I can just eat shit live on air and just be completely wrong about something. I think it's fine.

I think it's fine. We are, we've been wrong before. It happens. But he refuses to call in that moment. Mm-hmm. So outside the school, there is a blonde girl, and I use the word girl, because these characters are children. These are high school children.

There is a blonde girl painting her toes in a convertible. That's classic girl shit. She's sitting on the back of the seat. The first thing this movie does is show us a panty panty shot of an underage girl. Yeah. Yeah. Death.

Death. Death. Yeah. She's sitting in the car insanely wrong. Like she's sitting on top of the seat with her like sandals on the top of the windshield. It's like, get your fucking burk and stuff. What is your first day in a car? But it's, it's her boyfriend's car.

It's, her boyfriend has a Dodge Viper because he's, he's rich. He's, he's, he's the dishonest footballman. He is the footballman. He's the, he's the, the, the, the, the, the, he's the, the, the, he's the, he's the, he's the, Quarterback? Is that a thing they have? It's just a rugby thing? I don't know. They have some strange sports that's play in there. And he's one of the mid-brothers from home improvement.

Is he? Oh my gosh. Yeah. Okay. So Sean has a like a Chevy Monte Carlo, which is like coded as a stupid car for poor. Yeah, I would like to point out that nothing about this car is a stupid car for poor people. He has fucking drag slicks on the car he takes to high school. At this point in time, Sean's car is worth probably twice as much as that Viper RT10.

But it's the thing, right? It's coded that way. It literally just needs paint. Yeah, but not having paint makes you poor. And also, he's like, he's got an interest, which is cars, you know? And also, he's very, he's giving the same kind of Paul Walker thing of being very protagonist-e. He's literally growing a plain black t-shirt and, like, the sort of boot-cut, jeans and it's just like... Yeah.

You did not edit this guy out of the character creation screen. He's just, this is default guy. Default Sean. Until he opens his mouth and we realize this this Apple Jack motherfucker, it's like, oh, I'm talking like this all the time. Why is it drift? I love this guy's voice. It's so cute.

Like if I met a woman with that voice, I'd be like, oh, god damn, you're beautiful. You don't get a voice on a voice like that on a guy without him tweeting hashtag Charlie Kirk, hashtag Charlie Kirk. Yeah, for sure. Raleigh Tide. I love it, I love it. He's an original Alabama boy. That's also why he is from Alabama.

So the accent and the Rol Tide are all genuine to the actor. So I don't think he changed on it. But the movie takes place in Arizona. Like that's where the high school is. They moved around a lot. Yeah, because he's moved around. Yeah, because he's been kicked out of Alabama for being too much trouble for Alabama. So that ends up in Arizona.

He's not finished a single year of school. He's just been drag racing. So the hostile footballman sees Sean talking to his girlfriend. It's like, are you talking to my girlfriend? And Sean's like, no, I'm too Sigma to do that. And leaves in the Monte Carlo. And the footballman throws like a baseball, which you'd think would be his sort of enemy, naturally. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Through the, like, rear windshield, shattering it. And Sean gets out with a spanner, and it looks like it's all gonna fucking kick off. I do like the instant crowd that appears. That did feel very honest. Yeah, that's high school. Yeah, that was very fun. Until this girl says, why don't we solve this nonviolently with a race? And then the footballman is like, but your car sucks ass.

And she's like, the winner gets me and mine are say women are trophies again. Women are property, but this time the woman decides that she's the property herself. So it's cool, my own. It's also kind of, Sean, at this point, is giving future school shooter. Like, it is remarkable. Yeah, he's going to come back to the AR-15. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, he does. It's the smoke. Also, might not say, if your girlfriend is offering herself up to be won as a trophy in a race, then I feel like my guy, footballman, you've already lost that relationship. Or it's a king thing,

which case, you both agreed on it. But, like, it feels like it's not in a good place, man. If I were him, I'd be hurt by that. And it would have been really funny if it would just been like, I don't feel you respect me if that's what you're doing. I don't want to be with you. No, we've got to settle this.

in their car. So they go to Sudden Valley. I want to highlight a line that really, really tickle me is that the footballman is talking about his car and he was just like, this shit's like a Dodge Viper S-R-T, it's got a 12.5-15 and a half, and it doesn't mean to 60 in 4.3 seconds. And someone in the crowd who's watching goes, that's about right. It's one of his boys. He has two footballmen with him, one of whose role is to be like, yeah, that's correct actually. So good.

This car has been fact-checked by Real American Patriots. So they go to the starting line. The starting line, which is in, it's in a like under construction subdivision. That's why I said it was Sudden Valley from Arrested Development. Elaine noir shit. Real good. Yeah. It is.

I also want to point out the way that they start the race is this high school girl takes her bra off and throws it in the air and when it hits the ground, they have to start. This is the second time in 10 minutes the movie has to start. shown as a child's underway. Death! It's real bad. So we get an epic race. Sean does the drive and stare,

which we established in Too Fast and Furious. I also would like to throw in here that this high school must be in like the highest GDP per capita county of America, because the vehicle they are filming the race from in this is a RAM SRT-10, which was the Viper-motored limited run that pickup truck that Dodge made in those like Halcyon days before the great financial crisis. They didn't allow a bad car to be near a camera when they were making this movie, which I think is

compelling. No, like every student has like 50 grand and disposable income to blow on there. Going to car high school? The high school was cars? And the soundtrack, Kid Rock, baby. Hell yeah. And it's the Arizona excerpt that is under construction that in two years time will implode the global economy through a series of voluted financial scouts.

It's actually good that they crushed one of those houses. Yes. It's positive. Nobody was going to live there. He actually delayed the financial crash. Historically progressive force of Sean Boswell. I note that Sean at one point angers the footballman, and the footballman tries, I think what is an authentically stupid move, which, and correct me if I'm wrong about the details on this one, involves banging his fiberglass sports car off of the steel frame muscle car several times. Yeah, really good.

Yeah. Just great. Great impulse control. Ultimately, of course, the footballman is not as good at car. And he spins out the viper crashes, girlfriend, harmed. Yeah, he spins out the viper into like a crash

that almost certainly would have caused them some serious fucking damage. Sean pushes them into a fucking pipe. I thought, like, I genuinely thought they both died. Yeah, same. I thought that was how this movie was going to start. Also, the movie would have been better if they had because there's no stakes in this fucking thing

for the first hour and 15 minutes. So they both crash. But Sean crashes slightly later, which means he's better at cars. And both of these crashes look so fatal that my notes, respectively, are, spin out the viper and kill your girlfriend. And this white boy is getting Isakide to Japan. A great place to get Isikide, actually. Yeah, sort of normally happens the other way around to get Issaquide from Japan.

But in this case, no, he does not get Issaquite immediately. If he gets out of Japan, it's out of Japan. Is it slow motion as Sean is crows? crashing and just at the last second before it cuts away, a bottle of Tabasco sauce floats gently into view. It's like, yeah, get the fucking marketing tie in. There's a great shot immediately after this. He had that in his car, but they have to reassert was that he's alive, so he's just sitting

upside down hands at 10 and 2 in the crashed car. And I'm just like, that's Sigma to me. Apparently, I was reading a bit about like the making of this movie, apparently for this movie alone, because they crashed a lot of cars for this whole series, but for this one, they crashed, or destroyed, 249 cars. Jesus. I don't know where they all went. That's just a higher, better stunt team.

That was just driving on the way to set. They weren't actually even on camera. They're just a really bad driving team. They all get arrested, and the cop interrogating Sean is like, fucking Chad and Stacy out there have too much money to get arrested, as you can tell, from their rich car. You from your pork are poor and you've had like two strikes already, so you're going to go to fucking prison. And he says, and all the four year 18th birthday, I'm going to say, fuck off. Yeah, fuck it right.

This is what it's like if you don't do any skincare. This sounds bold. Yeah. Well, I guess I've got no choice. His mom comes in and I'm like, how old was your mom, which she had you five? The mum who looks weirdly like Ella Pernel from Fallout. The mother looks younger than him. Yeah.

My wife described as pound shop Demi Moore, which I didn't think was... That's reasonable. That's reasonable. My next guy just says, this cop's gonna fuck your mum, which is... Yeah. Yeah, it looks like it. Yes. My note that I put down was, apparently these are the benefits of being a milf, is that

you can smoke in the interrogation room. Yeah. That's the one good thing. She says, Ken, I spoke, and literally behind the cop, there's the smoking sign. He's like, ah, whatever. Pretty good. Yeah. She uses her Milflay charms on this cop figure.

Well, she fully does have sex with her. I think that's implied, right? Like, because her deal is like, we've had to move around a bunch because of my stupid Chud son and his stupid Maga tweets. Please give me one more chance. And then we cut to her and the cop, like, leaving the room together a bit later. And it's like, this is... Yeah.

This is grim, I think, in itself. It's a surprisingly kind of, it's surprisingly willing to imply that, I think. But so the upshot of this is Sean is not going to prison. Sean is going to Japan prison. You're going to drift on over to Tokyo. And we get... Sorry, is that something you're allowed to do in the American legal system? I think it's transportation, yeah.

It's still on the books, I don't know. Going to the Japan diversion program? Yeah. I guess the government's like, I guess you're not our problem anymore, you know? Well, he's acting like this as a punishment and I'm like, how do I commit the crime that gets me a Japanese visa? Yeah. How does that work?

So we get a beautiful little like Tokyo Japan title in the law and order font, which takes me out. And we see him like in Tokyo. Tokyo in 2006, I mean, not to get to like sort of peak population about this, but like it's crazy how empty it looks, relative to now. Because there's a couple of shots of like that one cross, that one like street crossing, right? Everybody. Yeah.

And they have to use like the PS2 crowds, right? Like the PS2 sort of crowd generation software. And it's like, it's strange. It's weird. All the street shots look really kind of quiet. It's a real time capsule. You've got that. You've got like billboards with like MC Hammer advertising what is a digital media camera.

you can't go back to Japan in 2006 God, you can't go back Japanese population is all the way down so if you wait around a few years it'll look like that again Yeah, but you're not going to get the What is a digital camera ads and that's the real thing

buying a brand new APSC camera Weirdly enough, I think I missed this but I think I don't know why that MC Hammer thing is there because Justin Lin's first movie that was a hit, it's a think something called Better Luck Tomorrow or something I forget the title

But that was financed by MC Hammer and that's why I think his ad is in the thing. That's crazy. But so Justin... He owes MC Hammer fealty. Nice.

Justin goes to address and says Oh, welcome to Japan Dad. Is my little girl hot and ready? Because... Oh my God. I've been saving the Yonling Lave twice drops for this. Excellent. His...

The Chud son has a Chud father, right? And you know he's Chud because he's in the Navy father. and you know he's in the Navy because he's wearing a t-shirt that says Navy in case he forget. The other thing we need to know about his dad, though, is that he fucks. He does fuck, yeah.

When he arrives, he's ushering a younger Japanese woman out of his flat. My foot, I was like, he's going to have a Japanese woman in there. Libertarian men. I think that's the closest to Japanese woman gets to being in the movie, which is quite interesting,

but considering it's in Japan. There are two Japanese women with lines, right? And one of them, her lines are entirely in Japanese. So we'll count them off. But these being the peak years of your mom has sent you to live with your dad, angry white boy thing. It's amazing. There's no M&M involvement in this.

His dad is like trying to do like tough chud dad stuff. There's literally a book on the bookcase behind of course that like has straight stuff on the cover, which I like. And he's like, listen, you're going to straighten up and fly Japanese. What are you looking at now? Oh, it's straight stuff. You'd be normal. Yeah.

And so, like, while you're living under my roof, you're going to live by my rules and, like, go to school. And you have to call me sir, which is weird. You have to go to Japanese high school. Yeah. Just go to Japanese high school. Oh, no. What a terrible punishment. Just a short, sharp shock.

We're going to make you get your education entirely. Japanese. Yeah, that'll help. Yeah. I mean, language immersion, they say it's great, you know. I guess so. I guess so. So he goes to Japanese high school.

He hasn't, like, the stupid, like, he can't figure out the uniform, right? So he's wearing a delinquent style, like un-buttoned, to reflect his delinquency. He's downright running there with toast in his mouth as well. Yeah, yeah. He's doing the full Tenshi Muyo. I love it. Mm-hmm. Oh no, I'm late for school!

I love this shit! We see that there's other kind of like, like, like visual K style kids. Like it's kind of a bit of a time capsule in that way. There's also a whole bit about he has to get Uwabaki, which as a weeb for all of my high school years, I would have killed for some of those. Yeah, this is one of the two Japanese women with lines is the teacher being like, why aren't you wearing your learning shoes?

Because it's like countercultural to wear shoes indoors. That's gross. Go put your like cool sandals on. unsubtitled Japanese well-law this teacher I guess maybe it's justifiable in that part of the joke is that he doesn't understand

Yeah it's like look Generous Maybe where they're trying to put us in his shoes He doesn't speak Japanese He's a stranger in a strange land Maybe This will come back later So the other thing in this high school classroom

Is this girl And the movie The way that her makeup and hair is done And the actress at the cat The movie clearly wants us to think with this girl is hot, but again, I'm reminding the movie, this is a child. This is a little schoolgirl. Yes, yeah.

Yeah. For fuck sake, Justin Yin. Like, who are you emailing? She also has what looks a lot. Because of some unfortunate hairstyling, it looks a lot like she has a receding hairline. And it looks worse in every shot. It kind of looks like it keeps getting taller. And I know I'm one to talk, but like it looks back.

It happens. Listen. But so he goes to. at lunch and the Japanese food is weird. That's like a little montage of like weird Japanese food. It looks great. Our stupid chud sort of like picks up some, I don't even know what it is, it's like Tara or something, and eats it and goes, huh, this doesn't taste bad.

He's using a chel-stitches perfectly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I will say. At which point we get ambushed with a baffling combination of lines. Japanese food is like the army. Don't ask, don't tell. What? What? It's mostly fish, ma'am.

Japanese food is like the army, in that it's gay, is... I mean, to be fair, that does make it a more plausible line in 2006, but I don't... The food that makes you gay? Yeah. The food that... The Japanese food that makes you gay? I think I must have had that at some point. Rice, fish, some vegetables, a light broth, apparently all you need to become gay.

No. It's good food for bottoming, so, like, you know... It's like. Continuing the grand tradition, we've got another rapper in this movie here. This is little bow wow. It is. It is.

It is. It is. It's playing a guy called Twinkie, who they called Twink for the entire movie. Would you like my twink drop? Yes. Twink. If you listen closely, it's got a lot of music in there as well. I love it of...

Twink. It's just pleasant, you know? So Twink, Twinky, to give him his full name, bonds with him on the basis of also being American, and he assumes that he is an army brat, which the army send the kids to, like, army schools on the army bases, and, like, there are international schools in Japan. This is weird.

It's weird to send your sort of, like, corn-fed chud moron. to like normal Japanese high school. Yeah, just good luck. Good luck out there. Yeah. Start learning Japanese, giving him the full like Shogun immersion experience, you know. I guess he'll figure it out like Tarzan. I guess Shogun and this occupy a similar space of like, white boy with the weirdest accent we could conceive of is sent to Japan and just told to kind of figure out himself.

Mm-hmm. At some point they bring out a giant kettle and they just put Bawao in it and you go, whoa. Oh shit. I did a first in Oriental languages at Cambridge. This movie, Shogun and Silence, all in the same space. It's like if you want to be white person in Japan, figuring stuff out, you have to have a weird accent to emphasize the strangeness. That's the law. But so, this, I think this is where we get the song. No, it isn't. We have to see the weird accent. He has to see the fucking car.

So obviously, Sean has been expressly forbid from getting anywhere near a car on account of all of his car crimes. It's plausible to forbid that in Japan. It makes sense. And Lil Bauer immediately takes him to see his car. And oh, my God. Who wants to describe this car? It's glorious. I want to hand this to Victoria, yeah.

Yeah. The most magical Volkswagen Touron ever conceived of and built. See, it was, it like, I called this a K car and you said that it's not. It's not. The Toran was not a, it's not quite, it's a four door, and it's like not quite the exact dimensions. Because in Japan, you know, they're at K cars and they have to fit very specific, like, size and weight requirements. The Toron does not fit those. I don't know why they picked this car.

So there are a bunch of interviews that I have read with the guy who did all the car casting and building for these movies. So the guy who picked like the super in the first one. The first three at least were very heavily this guy. And I can be blinking at his name right now. but like he every interview with him makes it clear he is a bit eccentric to say the least so I think he just picks out whatever the hell he feels like with the exception of Fast and Furious 2 which is where Mitsubishi gave the money and that's why they have like the world's coolest evo and the world's most horrific eclipse convertible ever conceived as the hero cars Victoria I can't help but feel that you've somewhat buried the lead on this and the car has what on it.

Oh, sorry, yeah. It is a bright lime green minivan with Hulk fists punched into it and the incredible Hulk's face stretched across the hood. And the interior is purple shag carpeting. To be clear, this rules. It does. Yeah. What this is, I described it to Victoria when I was talking this over as like Chekhov's

K car, right, in that they make a big thing of setting up like, here's the deal, funny small car, right? I've seen Monkey Man. I know what the deal is when you introduce a funny small car. You use that funny small car for like a comical effect later. So maybe does not do that. We never fucking see this car. Oh, it's such a shame.

It's also got sort of like a fake eyebrows made out of what looks like upturned along the top of the windshield. Fantastic. It's great. Anyway, he's like, get in the car. I'll take you to the car's subculture. And this is where we get the song. This is where Gwen Stefani wonders if we know. Not quite, not quite.

Is it not? Is it still not? Well, he's got to challenge the drift king first, naturally. I think that comes after the song. No, the song comes and then he challenges the drift king. What? Yeah. He comes up in the elevator.

No, because they have to show a bunch of shots of women's asses walking around the garage, because women are objects to be desired just like the car. It is true. It's as bad as it's ever been. Devin, you're getting confused because there's two elevator rides. No, they arrive at car location. Okay. When there are many women with asses.

There are midrifts as well. Hot girls car and midrifts also. The child from his class is here as well. Yeah. And she's with a racer and her name is Nila. And then some tough guys notice

them chatting. My notes say new in town and sort of like finding community by going to where you can find all the stupidest dressed people hanging out together. Being a carman is a lot like being transgender. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But yeah.

He talks to her about her car. I can confirm this, yes. So, fuck sake. Yeah, she bullies him about the shoes that she was also wearing, the Uwabaki, a little bit. And once again, we get, like, guy notices stupid Chud Sean talking to a woman. Well, a girl at this point. And so what, there's these two Japanese guys together. Well, one of them is not Japanese, but there's these two guys off to the side, obviously older,

and one of them in, like, the coolest outfit you could wear at the time, which was like leather, blazer, gold chain, black t-shirt or black vest dress shoes, is immediately, like, you know, activated by this, is immediately hostile to this. He's jealous, yeah, prompting his friend to say, What's what you in the school, see? Just to textually reestablish. that this is an underage girl. I'm asking the director of this movie this.

Because the other thing listens is that like, there was no, why are these characters, there's no need to do this? Why are these characters children? You didn't have to do that, you couldn't write anything else? Why are they, it's caused so many fucking problems and I'm baffled. So this guy gets up in his face, and the whole, Bauer has to establish threat, right? So Twink is like, he's like, this guy's fucking yakuza, right? right?

And so what we're setting up here is a kind of Chud versus Yakuza deadliest warrior episode. I would pay so much money to watch the Alabama Tide fight the Yakuza on like a football pitch just that would be glorious. In particular, this guy,

DK, Drift King, calls him Gaijin. He does. He gets all up in his face to the point that it's like, just kiss him, just kiss him, just kiss. Yeah, it's quite bad, isn't it? Every single time, I think that, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not least because these are two adult men, obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Guy too, meaning outsider, like, being an outsider is the theme of the movie, right? So they size each other up, and Sean challenges D.K. to erase. And it's like, what are you going to fucking race me in the Hulkmobile? And then one of DK's boys, Han says, oh, well, you can borrow my car. I want to see what you got.

Hans the guy who said, like, what's with you in school girls? He's the guy who's like, he's looking quite circumsperiment. He's also, in this scene, he has Roman Pierce eating all the time disease. He's working his way through the largest bag of chips, I guess. Because he's just every shot he's eating. The actor must have been so full on set that day. He reminded me of Brad Pitt in the Ocean's Levin movies where she's constantly eating like nachos or something, just constantly.

Yeah, yeah, because he was just hungry. Sean is like worse adrift and like, like Twink tries to explain to him, but it's obvious it's not going to work. But they sort of line up ahead of time. So in Japan, they race mainly sideways, which is the thing. So this is when they take the elevator up and this is when they play a song. In L.A., straight lines. Miami, corners involved.

Tokyo, all sideways the whole time. I live my life 90 degrees at a time. I also would like to know, for the record, that Twinkie gives Sean the worst fucking advice of all time for the car he is about to get into for racing up a point. parking garage. If you tell him, bam, a boy to fucking rip the e-break in a car with 500 horsepower, as he doesn't even know how to, like, shift gears, he is going to have a hard time. I just, I was furious re-watching this movie. But so we first have to meet the coolest man in the film, and maybe the world. Yeah. Briefly, very briefly, because rather than just having, like,

oh, like, sexy woman introduced the race, instead we have... Yes. This guy. Yes. This guy. assisted by... We got a metereosexual man. This fucking... Can we get him to do all the other races from now on and also, like, live in my house and, like, hang out with me and be my friend? Yeah, this guy's very sexy. I like him.

Very elegant. Just Japanese guy in his suit just been like, ready, set, go. It's very... There's, I don't know. There's something about this. I can't quite put my finger on. This actor knew he was only in the trailer of this movie,

and, like, he fucking sells it. Like, hell you do. The guy's extremely T-boy-coded. I'll say it. I've got him on my screen right now. Thank you. He looks fantastic. He looks so good.

The way that I am. Yeah, okay. My notes at this point just say, DK rules, I love DK. Where's the DK movie? Yeah. He worked out how to film the like gear changes and the like sort of foot on the pedal shots

in a way that's interesting. This is like well filmed. Yeah. And like DK just clowns on him. DK just races sideways up this like circular parking garage and Sean just eat shit. He crashes because he can't trip. He's crashing all the time.

He's fucking it up. It's also kind of crazy because, like, he was significantly more skilled in the first race. Because if you remember, his Monte Carlo does get sideways occasionally, and he does catch it. He does have the ability to drive a car around a corner. Yeah. He just loses that skill entirely when put into a well-tuned S-15 Sylvia, apparently. It's because he doesn't understand the Japanese car yet. He only understands the American Chud vehicle.

Exactly. It's something I like, actually, that it, like, it betrays a certain amount of confidence to have your protagonist be straight up bad at something. Yeah. It's like, let's see what he's got. Oh, he's got nothing. They haven't let Paul Walker do this, you know? No, yeah.

Like, they haven't been like, even completely new skill, like, fish out of water thing. They haven't done that for Paul Walker, but they have for Sean Boswell. Yeah. So, of course, D.K., the Drift King. Like, drifts very well. whereas Sean drift very poorly and smashes up the car a lot. It's well shot, though. And Sean limps over the finish line.

Yeah. I'm just like every time like the cars like he bangs the car sideways into other cars into the war and to just everything except like human beings essentially. And every time you're just like you kind of wince because you see how expensive that car must be and like how much damage is being done to it. Like. But he's humiliated. He limps over the finish line in this like wrecked car and everyone's just like, way.

Dude who lent you that car better be the chillest yakuza of all time. Turns out she is. Which is nice. That's the only way you're getting out of this one. Yeah, turns out that Han is just straight up lovely. There's a very brief moment where Twinkie looks directly at the camera and I feel violated by that. I'm like, don't make me complicit with this, Twink.

It's when he like gets in the elevator with the girl. To when the elevator door closes. Yeah. Yes. Again, twink, chronically, a child. Don't want to think about that. He's still little. Yeah. But so, Han is like, you owe me money for the car, I guess, but he's like, chill about it.

Yeah. And so the next day, much like Paul Walker, Hahn is waiting outside of high school. Yeah. There is, we do skip over a bit because he does get back home and have a fight with his dad that culminates him. him angrily slamming a shoji door, which is a great best, I think. Very good. Yeah, don't be racing, last chance.

You can graph his level of delinquency based on how buttoned his uniform is. And in this case, he has straightened up a bit and flown a bit more Japanese, because he's only got like three buttons unbuttoned. And then later on, when he slips more into the lifestyle of a delinquent Carmen, it will be all the way unbuttoned again. So just keep an eye on this. dad when he comes in, it's incredible as well. He just, like, he looks straight at Sean and goes,

have you been driving, Sean? And it's just like, no. It's like I can smell gasoline on you. But so, so Hahn picks him up from school in, I think it's an NSX, I don't know cars.

It's an RX7. It's a nice looking car. It is, again, this is proof of this movie is like, I think as opposed to the other ones where they're like, oh yeah, this car is cool.

We heard somebody talk about this. This is. car sicko shit. Like, this is something that outside of Japan, people were not really familiar with. It is an extremely weird body kit. This movie, I think, was a big part of why it's famous. Cars iconic, it's awesome. I'm sorry.

And also, they use the correct engine sounds. Most of these movies, they just dub in whatever the hell, like vacuum cleaner sounds, but they do have clearly a modified rotary engine for Hans Car's engine sounds. And it is... There is a really funny shot in this of... because he has Sean drive of Sean very slowly and unsteadily driving this car down the narrowest streets in the world. Yeah. He let Sean drive and I'm like, this guy wrecked your car 12 hours ago and you let them drive your other one?

Why? Yeah. But so he gives him his first GTA mission. Because it's crazy how all of the plots of these movies are gaming, right? They're all inspired by like open world gaming, yeah. And he's like, go get my money from the guy with the best. bear paw in this onsen. Yeah.

Which is a thing that we have here in Japan where we are. So Sean goes into the onsen. He's like, I don't understand what an anton is because I'm not Japanese. But the guy with a bear poor tattoo is a sumo. He's like a, I forget the guy's actual name. I think he's Samoan. Oh God, I should know this. Yeah.

A Samoan sumo wrestler or a sumoan, if you will. Big guy. He is a big guy. He is a big guy. Sean gets literally thrown out onto the street. There's an implication there that the guy has thrown him back into his clothes before throwing him out the door, which I like. Yeah.

But of course, he goes back in and gets thrown out again. Yeah, and this is the tutorial level, you know? Like you're being tested for your commitment by Han. And the guy does pay Han, he's just like, you know, whatever, he's the money. Yeah, he's very clearly like being used as like a test for the new guy, which sure, whatever. So we now get a segment called Han Show Sean all of his favorite Yakuza Zero minigames. Yeah. Because he takes him through an arcade and in back of arcade he goes, now I'm going to show you my least favorite Yakuza Zero mini game, Marjong.

And when the Marjong appeared, I need everyone to know that my wife physically took the remote from me to pause and look at the time. I understand and I'm glad that she did. This is a form of madness. I'm instructed to read into the record. Like when we come in, they're playing Mar-Jog and a guy goes, Ron, right? Which is the thing, the call you, one of the two calls you can make to win the game. And he's making a huge fuss about it. He's shouting.

His tiles, this guy fucking Ron Don Tanya, he's got nothing. Everybody else's tiles? Shit. This means nothing. So I just needed to include that detail for marital reasons. or at all reasons. She run on Mahjong till I... Gwen, if you're listening,

exactly right. This is what I wanted. Thank you. This is the thing. If you're around my wife long enough, you will learn Rishi Mahjong. You won't necessarily want to, but you will. It's just like an involuntary process that anyone being near my wife.

I'm looking forward to that. Yeah. She'll bring the Mahjong set with her. I hope she'd bring a set of something else. I was kind of taken out of the movie at this point because I've, for the last six months, and this is new for me, I've been getting ads for like, uh, Marjean mobile games. And they're all about like, you're getting older, train your memory, you're not dying, you're fine.

And it's like, cool, fun, thank you. Everybody get more Chinese now. Yeah, the mahjong that stops you getting dementia. Yeah. But so, D.K. is there, along with one of his boys, Morimoto. Um, you can, you can remember Morimoto because he's blonde. and he like spits all the time. This is noticeable.

But so Han is in like a business relationship with D.K. Donkey Kong, the Drift King himself. Mm-hmm. D-K. He's the leader of the gang. You know him well. Yeah. We all know a guy.

Yeah, yeah. Neela's also here and she's like, oh, stay away from D.K. I'm a child who's dating him for some reason. At this point, I'm just like crawling over broken glass. like, please show me Roman Pierce. Please. They won't do it. But they won't do it.

But they won't do it. Because like, the fact that these characters are children means I don't care about what any of them are doing. I'm like, you're a child. I don't give a shit about what you've got going on. I don't care whether you get the girl. You're gonna break up with three months anyway? Like, who gives a shit?

You think you've got problems? Fuck you. So, so, so, so, D.K. sort of taunt, Han and Sean. Hmm. Mm-hmm. But so, like, they leave. And Hahn is like, you work in the like delivery business for crime now. You're a crimesman as well as a Carmen.

Yeah. Also, Han explicitly tells him just like, he just annihilates the stakes of this movie because he's like, oh, DK's not really in the Yakuza. His uncle is and he's just playing gangster. And I'm like, yeah. Well, there's the villain of a movie completely fucking neutered. What the fuck is this movie about then? And so then he's like, now I'm going to show you my favorite yakuza's. zero minigame, karaoke.

Yeah. So we go to this bar, in back of which there is a club, in which there are multiple male-gays lesbians. Yes, they're all, yes. As soon as they get in the club, two beautiful women immediately come and start, like, stroking Sean's shoulders, and Hun has to say, "'You have your hands off the kid, girls, it's underage.'" Just to again.

Like, there was no need to do this. Why? Just make him 18. Why should you do this, man? Why don't have to be in college? Why'd you do this? Why'd you do it? I mean, with the amount he's moving around, he could have, like, you know, been held back a year or two.

He could have been barely legal Sean. It would have been fine. It would have made sense even. I mean, that then sort of leads you logically to the question you never ever want to be the person asking, which is, what is the age of consent in Japan that this guy? You never want to be asking this. I'm not going to look. No.

I don't want to, I'm not, I'm not Googling that. I don't want that on my record. Find that. It's bad enough, I said it out loud. It's like, this 35-year-old man is underage in the second most pedophilic country in the world after Britain. It's like strains credulity a little bit, I think. It's been much worse if you've been sent to Britain. This is true.

Undersift. Yeah. So Twink tries to embody some like positive masculinity by being like girls like it when you're funny which he hasn't been funny so far. Yeah, so Twink's theory of picking up girls is a twink's a child so I'm not listening to your theories about picking up girls because you've probably been on some fucking weird chat rooms.

But anyway, he's like, Japan is the fashion capital of the world. There's a lot of models who come here. They spend all day on set. They're tired. They don't want to have to deal with men's bullshit. But if you can make them feel, appreciated and make them laugh, then, you know, you can get pussy. And I'm like, all right, that's a surprisingly sophisticated model of pussy getting from

you, little bow wow. Thank you very much for that. Yeah, it's, it's, I think it's intended to be like, you know, like a sort of positive role model, I guess. I know. Sure. But so Hahn is like, now we've got to go to my garage, which is in back of the club. And I think in my head that the garage that's in back of a club that's in back of a bar

as too many in backsop. That's too... Surely that's in front of it now. At this point, it's on a different road. I think you're on a different street. Yeah. Like, I'm thinking mentally sort of calculating the depth

of this block, you know? We learn two things on the drive over, by the way. We learn number one, if you're fast enough, cops can't stop you. Oh, yeah. Which is really good.

Which is really good. I watched this with a... Gone. ...transwoman who used to be a Marine who was stationed in Okinawa. And at this point in the movie, when he went, When Sean rips past the cops, and he's like, why aren't they chasing me?

She was like, oh, an American coming to Japan and not being subject to local law. What a surprise. This is a thing that they established for the rest of the movie is in Japan, the police aren't real. And you're meant to sort of like go back to that. Don't worry about the police. Whenever, yeah, that's a nice piece of like justification, because they never bother. Like, the other Fast and Furious movies have just been like the LAPD is here. And then they're just not, you know, no, they don't.

Yeah. The LAPD have ADHD and they just kind of stop, you know, being interested in things that happen. The star level goes down. It's like... LOS attention police disorder? LAPD, it's all liquid cops in Japan. Solid station. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, they don't have the car harpoon technology from the second movie either. No, no. The coppito, no. And we also learn, Hahn is like, I don't race. If I was to ever race, it would have to be at the emotional peak of my arc. Yeah, Han is kind of like spiritual with it. I also note that in the back of Han's garage, he has some... How old is this guy?

He describes them as bunks later on, but like, because some of the club women are getting in, I described them somewhat indelicately as a skank capsule, and I just... It's crazy, yeah. He does have just sort of a rack of capsules, like a, like a fucking bee-hive or something in the back wall. Yeah, just thing Japan. That's my models pupate, I think. It goes by a motorbike that has two like fire extinguisher-sized noz-cans strapped to the side of it.

And I just, I liked that. I thought that was fun. Yeah, it's fully sick. Yeah. Awesome. What are the stakes? The stakes are, he's going to give him another car, right? Why? Because he's adopted him functionally. He just picked him up from school and he's like, okay, you live and it's like, well, he doesn't live here.

You like work here now for me. What hard has actually done is he has picked up a child from a fallen child. from school, take it into a nightclub with a bunch of sexually active adults of whom he's like seen, like, doing sexy shit, and then offered him a car, and I'm like, this man is fucking grooming this kid. He is, yeah. He does say when he offers him the car, do you think that I'm going to, you know, you're with me now, do you think I'm going to let you roll in a Hyundai, which we will later find out,

I believe, is a deeply internalized anti-Korean racism, which is very sad and also thing Japan. Sean's getting love bombed. Yeah. He is getting love bombed. He is. He takes drifting lessons on the docks. He sucks at it. It's really good.

There's like a pair of old men fishing who are just like, this guy can't drift. One of those is the real drift king. Yes. It's a cute guy. It's a cute camera. Oh, that's nice. I like that lot. Cars are real?

That's crazy. Again, that's like further proof of like, I don't know if... I don't think Justin Lin is into cars. So somebody on set had to be like, hey, you should should actually get Keichi Suchia in for like a cameo. I wonder if it was the actor who plays, what's his name? Shoot. Sung Kong.

Yeah, Sun Kang is actually like a huge car guy. So I kind of wonder if he was the one who was like, hey, you should get Kichi Suchia in for like a cameo on this or something. He actually goes, so the thing about Sun Kang is like his garage actually does kind of look like Hans in this movie like today. It's really cool. I've seen features of his car collection. He is really actually about it.

So I credit him with making this movie redeemable. It's got models being birthed out of pits like Orica. Also, his dad is fixing up an old rack of a car. And he's like, son, this car will be important later in the movie. It's like, son, I too know how it feels because I once felt the call of driving a car. And that's when he hits him with, there is a strange clinic. You're a show in the Japanese ever seen. Which is really funny, just in isolation, I think.

It goes with almost anything. But the Japanese saying that he's actually referencing is... It's like tall puppy syndrome, right? Like the nail that sticks out gets hammered. Conform. Start conforming. And his stupid Chudson is like, no, I'm never going to stop conforming. I'm going to sleep in a capsule in back of a garage, in back of a club, in back of a bar.

So he does. He just leaves home. and moves in with his like adoptive new Asian dads, Han. Yeah. He keeps hitting on Neela as well on the side. Great. Yeah.

So Han takes him up on a roof to have like an emotional heart to heart where he says to him, I'm not from, they're looking at the like big Shibuya like crosswalk thing with all the people with the PS2 generated crowds or doing the same animations. And Hans like, damn, it's crazy how everybody. conforms and stuff. I don't do that because I'm not from Japan. I like escaped here on the run from the law like a cowboy and to me Japan is well... Your hands off the kid girls. Wait, no.

That's not quite right. What he says is to me Japan is Japan is... Wait, that's still not right. He says... Is my Mexico? To me Japan is Mexico. To be Japan is Mexico. Japan is Mexico, which is a great thing to just have me when I'm in Mexico. This is my Mexico. Me when I'm in a really good Mexican restaurant in London Bridge. This is my Mexico.

Nice. But he says, you know, I'm not led by fear. And he says, drifting, it's not about winning. And Sean's like, okay, what's drifting about? We then have a strange scene where Han drifts around some hot girls in his car. The car makes a number, and I'm like, is that what drifting's about? Getting pussy? Yeah.

100% drifting is about getting pussy, yes. Okay. Yeah. It's like a kind of inner spiritual thing, the product of which is getting pussy. Yeah. Okay. Oh, okay. Note yourself go on spiritual journey.

Drifting is the figure skating of automotive, like, practices. And so it's about, it's, it's the art in your soul expressing itself through, like, burning, burning rubber. And so, yes, it does work to pick up women. Oh, okay. Yeah, and also the better Sean gets at drifting at driving car, the closer he comes to getting woman. And when he's at his best driving car, he gets women are a trophy you get for driving good. Yes, that's the theme of the movies.

That makes a lot of sense. That's right. So Han teaches him to use the drifting force or whatever. Yeah, you get a training montage here. Yeah. Sean even wins a couple races and he impresses me. With a rear-wheel drive Evo, which is, again, a really weird decision. They do some real, like, initial.

these shit up in the mountains as well, which is like now we're not just in Tokyo anymore. I love this stuff. Yeah, I love a Japanese rural road race. Absolutely. Yeah, he goes on a little date with Nila and she's like, oh, I hate when people used to call me a guy gin because my mom's Australian. And then that's the theme of the movie, Sean, is being an outsider. And he's like, damn, that's crazy. Yeah, there are long stretches where it's just cars and you forget. Yeah, he forgot that he's talking about it. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

Ohio, Gizamas. Hey, Alabamaans can drift too. They get to. I don't, well, all of this, like, I felt like an outsider myself thing is happening. Another mahjong said is briefly seen in like the back of a shot, and Gwen rips the fucking remote out of my hands, pauses, and we see that this, this is like five people sitting around a pentagonal table, playing Marjong, one of them only has one tile. This might have been a movie that was made by by car people. It was not a movie made by or for Marjong people, I regret to say. This is like

setting up a chessboard wrong. It's just bad. And as such, that will be reflected in my scum score. I'm going to drill down syntactically. It would have been incredible if they had like, like the drift guy who's the cigarette man smoking on the on the docks. They also had like, I don't know what they have in Marjong. I'm just going to call them grandmasters because I don't know. Yeah. Like, they had like a couple of like, you know, flashes of Marjong grandmasters sitting in some scenes. Absolutely. In the Marjong movie, they get the cars all wrong.

They've got no idea. Yeah. So, after he's gone on this date with Nila, D.K. and his boys roll up on the drifting dojo at the docks. And he beats Sean up for hitting on Nila. And it's interesting that Sean does not fight back. Yeah, absolutely. He just lets D.K. punch him a bunch of. Well, he learned that kind of spirit.

of like sort of forgiving Christianity, which would lead to him calling Charlie Kirk a hashtag Christian martyr at this moment, you know? In response to this, Niela goes to dump D.K. Out of Guy Gen's solidarity, I suppose. And D.K. actually hits her verbatim with the line when not so different, you and I? Uh-huh. Really good.

Yeah. And I think it's credit to how, like, Brian T. is the guy who plays D.K., and he gives a fucking good performance. Like, this scene is really good, Despite the fact that one of his lines is literally, we're not so different. You and I, he's really good at this scene. Like, credit to you, dude.

I've got a great performance. I want to see more of D.K., favorite character. I just want to highlight with regards to the date scene between Neeler and Sean here, that while they're having this sort of heart-to-heart, they are part of a six-car drifting convoy. Yeah. Moving through the mountains under the moonlight. And I just needed that on the record.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not even the only time they do it. Judging from the accent, I think Neela is meant to be Australian, which is a really funny bit where it's like coming to Japan to introduce them to hooning. Can't believe they never hoon in this. If a girl drifted a car whilst I was in the passenger seat and she was hitting on me, I would be, that would work. That would work on me. Yeah, just like, interesting. That'll do it.

Yeah, just setting you up for that. Writing this down, this does actually work. My other note is when, uh, when D. like beats up Sean, I wrote down watch your front, watch watch your front in now that I've been sort of reprogrammed by the first movie. Morimoto, by the way, is also- Why don't you try yo sushi? You could get a, you could get a fucking California roll 299 faggot.

By the way, Morimoto spits on him on the way out. It's like, this motherfucker's only got spit-based attack. It's like a Dallophosaurus. Yeah. But at this point the movie remembers that there needs to be some kind of actual threat. So the actual Yakuza arrive. A fucking amazing actor called Sunny Chiba, who is the sword guy from Kill Bill Volume 1? Yeah, Sonny Chiba, let's fucking go.

Yeah, guy who's been in everything. And this is the point of which... Victoria just showed a cat. No, I'm not interested in the fucking dog, Rob. Take the dog away. I want to see the cat. I love a dog. At which point, I have to note that Jeff Bezos must be killed after the revolution

because I rented this movie on Amazon Prime. And my next thing is this scene was either a fascinatingly bold choice to have an unsubtitled all-Japanese scene or Jeff Bezos' cheap-ass AI subtitles have shit the bed once again. And apparently it's the second one. Yeah, I was wondering. I was like, fascinating. Are they gonna translate this at any point though? No, no, they are not.

Given that I pirated the movie, I don't have that fucking problem. That's probably why is it and more ethical at this point. Like, I, you didn't funnel any money to fucking Lucas Black. Yeah, please tell us what happens. So the actual Uncle Dukuzer arrives, he's got this fucking pimp white suit on, and he's like, Hey, D.K., thanks for cutting me in on your illegal street racing winnings. But I think Han, is stealing from us.

And D.K.'s like, oh, shit, I'm really sorry. Uncle, please don't disapprove of me. I'll go and sort this out right now. That makes a lot more sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. And this is where I... So, D.K. and his boys.

Yeah, go ahead, Roald. Sorry. And this is where I have a theory, which is, I think, that when you look at it coldly, sort of materially speaking, DK is right, because Hahn is a piece of shit,

because it is earlier implied in the movie that he is just like, you know, off the top or holding stuff back or like you know and dk who like i don't know not great at being gangster as post not not maybe no maybe not the best business business man but you know but clearly han has been fucking around and the the finding out is about to occur this is also i love dk as a villain this is a great motivation as a villain it's also like quite sympathetic like he's not a big bad tough guy he's just trying to impress his uncle and like

really wants to do a good job and get a good grade in crime and i'm like i love that I love that for him. I get that. Yeah. A powerful uncle-nephew relationship. Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, fucking typical that you cannot get a job in the Yakuza

unless you've already got a family member who is. That's bullshit. Honestly, I auditioned for Yakuza and I gave it like all my fucking best. And they fucking, yeah. Maybe it shouldn't have been white, I think, was the key part of that. It's...

You sound just like my old agent. Oh, great. They've gone diverse again in the casting. Have they fantastic? All right, fine. Huh. So, DK goes back to confront them again, and...

My old agent did say that to me. They have to contrive a way of getting them from a fight scene into the cars. And this is a beautiful piece of script writing, where it's like, we need it so that you can be like, you know, they have to be in the cars now, there has to be cars after this, and the way they do that is to have Twink drop the, like, garage, like, roll door on one of the cars, harming it and thus turning it into a car harming sequence rather than a person harming sequence. And so that then transitions to the chase.

Yeah, Sean has to drift for his life. Yes. Very cool. No, the thing about drifting, I would say. So it's very inefficient deliberately, like that's the art of it, inefficient way of getting from one place to another. Yeah, weird to do while running away from something.

Yeah, making it perfect for a chase. You just got to go sideways all the time Like you're doing an opportunity It's the only thing we know how to do Yeah Yeah I never learned how to not drift Once a car is configured for drifting

It can only go fastest sideways Yeah Yeah my whole front axle Is it 90 degree Now And Sean has lost his American instinct of straight lining

Because he can't do it anymore Whereas in this situation I would argue Straight line Just booking Straight line is the king here I think You would think so You would think so

So, having established that in Japan, cops are not real. We had a long chase in which Morimoto, the spitting guy, gets rage baited to the extent that he is hit and killed by seven different cars. Yeah, he gets in a head-on collision, because he didn't drift good. He gets on a collision and fucking dies. Yeah. In many ways, getting hit and killed and head-on collision is the opposite of drifting, given And the drifting is about going sort of sideways in a very like calculated, you know,

uh, way. Yes, it is. Directly forwards in a very uncalculated way and dying. They have to drift through an intersection full of people too. Yeah, it's the same intersection. Yeah, same one. They cause a mass casualty incident here. D.K. does a sick fucking move.

Difting and shooting. Also like J-turn and shoot out the front at the guy behind you. Fucking sick. Love BK. He splits the whole crowd like Moses. I was, I was, Yeah. Yeah.

Fucking great. And Han gets wiped out and explodes and dies. Yeah. So what happens is they get separated and, and D.K. follows Han and, and, like, destroys his car, just in time for sure to see it blow up. And I write down, wow, that is 100% Han dead forever, never going to see him again. I think it would be a real stretch and, like, admission of weakness for the franchise. if we ever saw Han again,

I'm saying, What are you fucking shitting me? Oh, for fuck sake. I'm pretty certain that I'm dusting my hands. I think we've seen the last. Oh, yeah. Don't worry about it. Now, because the thing is, besides police,

firefighters in Japan also not real. Yeah, they don't come either if you're going fast enough. That's the bargain that you strike. So the police can't stop you, but nothing will help you either. Yeah, absolutely. Smart. It's like the purge.

Much like the first. purge. Sort of purge every night in Japan. Sean and Nila have to escape on the subway. Getting a train. The ultral radiation for the common. Disgusting. Almost verbatim what I wrote down.

We are achieving Tokyo drift compatibility. Yes! There we go. We got there. They go to Sean's dad place. D.K. rolls up. He's a fucking dedicated villain. I appreciate that.

He pulls the gun, but Sean's dad also has gun. Because he's Navy. He brought his gun from Navy. Also, at this point, I'm going to observe that his dad looks like the neighbor from a serious man. But so... He really does, yeah. The thing is, you can, you know, reverse card any gun interaction by having a gun of your own. And then the other person's obliged to be like, ah, I see you brought a gun.

And then they just have to leave. I guess we've all got guns, all right. Yeah. I'll hit the dusty trail. Well, Neela defuses a situation by leaving with D.K. Also, we've established earlier on that Neela is like a living, with D.K.'s grandparents, and that's why he can take her places and it's legally not kidnapping. Again, would have been better if she'd just been an adult?

Most of her lines are in the worst Japanese you've ever heard, like, Takashi, Yamete, which is great. So, Sean has to try and relate to his dad now, and so he's like, Cars is like the Navy, but on land. Yeah. Yeah. Dad, I've experienced character growth by a loaning a race sideways. Okay, son.

How come you have that accent and I don't, son? That's what I, that's what's fucked up about it. Yeah, you know how his dad is in his first scene is like, I'm a real hard ass, you have to call me, sir, I'm in the Navy. It's gonna be like, if I see you near a car, I'm gonna have your like thumbs cut off so you can't drift anymore. That, he doesn't do that anymore. And it's not for any great- What if a boat had wheels? That's what driving is to money.

to money. He doesn't do any sort of like depicted character growth. It's just kind of like he tries to do hardcore dad and then gives up, which is really funny and maybe explains a bit why Sean is like this. If his dad is like, you're never going to

drift. Oh, okay, you're really done it. Sean's dad has ultimate fealty to the Navy and Sean has ultimate fealty to the car. So they're both, you know, it's either to boat or to car. So they are now, you know, they understand each other's world. Yeah. To be fair, Sean at this point does form a really good plan that I really like and made me like him as a character,

because Sean decides to do the mature thing is that he, first of all, he meets Twink and is just like, we're very sad about how to die, but... Twink is like, let my stupid Hulk car ease your trauma, and that's the only time besides introduction, we see the Hulk. Just grieving in the Hulk movie. Yeah, but Sean decides to use dialogue. instead of violence or car violence, he's like, look, we know that D.K. answers to his uncle who's in the Yakuza. I'm just going to go to him and I'm going to apologize. I'm going to make it right.

And I'm like, that's really immature. That's good character growth. I like that. Everyone's like, no, you can't do that. And then he just does it. He lives in the Yakuza district of town. He lives in Crimeville. You go, yeah?

So Twink says, you can't just like walk into Kamata's place. If he's a Yakuza, you can. Like, one of the peculiarities is they have offices, Right? Like it's... You gotta get an appointment, but yeah. Exactly, right? But so instead he goes through this like alley filled with like Buzuzoku, and they kind of like menace him a bit.

He walks into the bar. Neil is in the bar. Why is she in the bar? Child? Yeah. Why is child? You're like a little license. Why was she 17?

It would have been so easy. It doesn't seem like she needs to be 17 for any reason. It doesn't seem like any of them needs to be children. Why are children? It's not. There's nothing kind of on the pro side of that balance as far as I can tell. He walks into the bar and the bouncer is like, hey man, welcome to race wars. Because every Japanese person in there is just like staring at him.

This is what it's like. This is there as well. But Sean passes all the speech checks because he does the special action of show bag of money and that gets you in anywhere. And he talks them in Japanese. He's learned of Japanese at this point to touch them, which I'm like, it's time. Finally. y'all mind if a white boy speak a little Japanese tonight? White boy stuns entire yakuza.

He also gets a kind of like small beneficiary, a small stipend from the KJB, got through the whole speech to indicate that you're culturally sort of legible in Japan without using the word honor scholarship. Pretty good. Yeah. Impressive, actually. Pretty good. Yeah.

Could have been worse. It was on there. He almost, he almost does. it a couple of times, so he gets away with it. But so he's like... He apologizes to the Uncle Yakuza guy and he said, look, I'm really sorry, me and D.K. have like caused a problem for you. Let us settle this peacefully as Carmen, with a race.

And the loser leaves town for good. And for some reason, Uncle Yakuza's like, yeah, fuck it, why not? I've got nothing better do than hang out with a bunch of children. Uncle Yakuza is running a kind of like Anthony Bourdain, kind of like, chuckling, okay, fuck it, let's do this. kind of thing for the rest of this who's just like

yeah, fucking, okay, sure. I invoke the ancient Japanese rat of trial by drift race. Absolutely, right? As opposed to,

I think you're too young to be in here. Again, love D.K. in this scene really wants his uncle to be proud of him, really like it.

Yeah, because D.K. is like, I've already fucking been this guy in a drift race once and the uncle thinks about it from a minute, it goes, then it should be easy to do it again.

Yeah. He's outmaneuvered him. He's placed him into a socially impossible position. It's like... Clever. Yeah. But before you can drift, you got to have a car. You do.

Now, I understand, and this is something Victoria told me, that American car, American engine, it's normal. Japanese car, Japanese engine, it's normal. Putting an American engine in... Putting a Japanese engine in the American car kind of heresy, right? Mm-hmm. You've got to get those converters from W.H. Smith and everything. Yeah. Like, you can put an American engine in a Japanese car, but not the other way around.

Is that? That would... See, American engine Japanese car is, like, chud compatible. Yeah. That is what I would expect from Sean's character. This is really an inversion of kind of my expectations for Bama Boy. They rescue the engine from the car that he wrecked at the beginning, and they put it in the Mustang. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, you must excuse this odd mixture of stars, but I refuse to go entirely Japanese. There is something that happened with that, because I did pull that drop, and then somehow, I don't know how it happened, but it went wrong. And when I heard it back, I laughed really hard and put it on the soundboard anyway, because what I got was, They've sent Charles Gray into the Nega dimension. Oh, fuck. Shit! We gotta get him out of there. Charles Gray's in hell!

That being gay really does send you there. Oh, fuck. Shit! We're fine. Oh, okay, I got a couple of years. Trying to get that book straight talking out. This is the scene where it finally hits me what's been fuck me off about this goddamn guy

is that he looks exactly halfway between Damien Lewis and a chimpanzee. There are some scenes when he's like watching the engine like a chimp would and feel like the strong physicality of the... I think my favorite part of this montage is after, because they like tune the engine and they like, you know, tune all the like suspension

and everything. They do some drifting to like dial it all in. And then at the end with no depiction, they do like conservatively $100,000 of bodywork and painting on it. And just to finish it off. Yeah. With the racing strike, I mean, it looks good as hell. Obviously it does. It does like the Mustang. Like, of course it looks good. Like, can I put like a big fist on this maybe? No. You can The one thing Twink does say is he points out like, you know, D.K.'s going to run you off the road and try and kill you, right? He's going to like, race dirty. And then Sean's just like, yeah, I know. Yeah, he does say that.

I'm not going to worry about it. I'm not, cool. I also wonder, like, what's the financial situation? How, because like the bag of money has been returned to Yaku's uncle. So they have no cash reserves. Where did, how did they, I mean, the engine, okay, you should get sheen there. It's the bodywork and everything. Is that just like free labor and parts?

Maybe they just did that. Yeah, they've still got the shop that... They sold off Hans. ...theircalfed. So they've... The reason that they build this car is because the RB26, they put in the Mustang, was out of the wrecked S-15 that, you know, Sean destroyed the beginning of the movie.

And then presumably, they still left all the tools and stuff. They just repoed all the rest of the cars. So there is actually a reason they have to build this, like, homunculus American-Japanese-swapped weird. weird Mustang car, besides, it's just really cool. Yeah. And they're all carmen. They know how to do these things.

You just, you wake up and you immediately know, like, yeah, I can absolutely lay down perfect, like, metallic paint every single time in like a dusty-ass warehouse. It's fine. So they go to the mountain, and I note in all caps, bring back the race starting twink. I know. Where is he? Bullshit. Where is he? Mm-hmm.

Because instead of that, it's Neela, right? And fucking Uncle Yakuza is like, oh, you get for a fucking, like, I guess race for, like, the girl as well. And it's like, that's an underage girl. Like, and obviously the Yakuza had, not like an organization that have a lot of qualms about underage girls, but like normally it's sort of like grimmer than this, I would say, you know? Yeah, it's like how long were all of these montages?

Has anyone turned 18 over the course of the movie? Yeah. I mean, at this point, fucking Lucas Black looks like he's turned 50. Every time I saw it, reminded me of that, like, Brazilian guy who insists that he looks 17 on TikTok. Yeah, yeah, I just, I... Oh, wow, it'll be the episode, I don't know. Everyone's watching all of their race on flip phones, which I love. Can I give you two more Lucas Black tweets?

I love the flip phones. Please, oh my God. Please, for the loss of God. On the 14th of August 22, Lucas Black tweeted, Pursuing Jesus with an exclamation mark. In a Mustang! On the truth is a drifted. Difting towards Jesus.

Jesus can fucking drift. He's incredible. He's like going around, he's like, un-catchable. On the 20th of August, 22, so a week later, Lucas Black tweeted, following Jesus, also with an exclamation mark. All right. He took him a week to catch up to Jesus. Yeah, yeah.

But so they start the race, and of course, D.K. is a better drifter. That's why he's, that's why he's the king of drifting. That's why he's Mr. Driftsman himself. I had another joke about the name Drift King, but it's all the way back up in my notes and I'm scrolling, so I'm trying to fill time until I find it. No, I can't find it. No, it's fine. But D.K. tries to run him off the road as long as short of it.

He tries a bunch to run off the road. He really does. Oh, yeah. The note was they call him the Tokyo Drift, which wasn't even that funny to be worth waiting for, but, you know. I think it was good. I think it was good. But Sean wins.

He wins pretty much fair and square, too. It has to be said. like flips and crashes out. He crashes, but he almost crashes onto Sean, and I write down from hell's heart, I drift at thee. That's good. Now, that's better.

That's good. Moby Dick did involve some drifting, but of a different kind. This is true. So Sean gets out of the car tram, for Nila snuggles him because women are trophies. And Uncle Yakuza's. Yeah.

Uncle Yakuza's like, yeah, whatever. D. D.K. still alive, by the way. And I really want D.K. to come back because I really liked him as a moment. Well, I'm sure that he will and Han won't because if it was the inverse of that, that would be...

That would be... That would be bad. That would be ridiculous. I would make so much explaining as well with like backshut... Really fuck with the timeline for this movie that features a lot of flip phones to be in the future. And all the other movies as well

because the sequence would be really weird and it would kind of apply that... That Sean is like at least 37, which, you know, fair enough. in high school. But so this is the fantasy, right? Like, you get the girl, the Yakuza respect you, which is really funny because they barely respected DK.

And you get to be cool again. And so he goes back to, well, we jump forward a bit. Yeah, we get a lot of cars and sexy ladies. It's as bad as it's ever been, this intro of fucking montage of asses and madress. I guess the thing with the timing is this time skip is meant to be about 12 years. I don't think so, but I think that later on, they will box themselves into forcing it to have been. Yes. Okay.

Because Sean is still driving. And Sean, it looks the same. I guess he got all of his aging over the way early. Yeah. And Twink is like, we got someone here to see you who says he knows Han. He's been winning races all across Asia. He's from something. He's here about something called the Avengers initiative.

He's here about something called race wars Yeah, he said Han's like family Yeah, he said Han was family And that Han used to run with him in the past Yeah And you feel the nuclear weapon That is heading towards the Fast and Furious franchise From the implications of that one sentence

Two things about this cameo One, without it, this would have been straight to DVD Like this was... Fence, yeah This was genuinely, this was the soul thing that made them release it in cinemas. Really? Really.

And the second thing is that Vindiesel did it for free. Or rather, in exchange for the right to Riddick off of Chronicles of. And so he was like, fine, I guess I will do this for something that I'm passionate about. And I don't think in that moment that he knew what he was setting himself up for the rest of his career. Ben Diesel being like, fine, I agree to be in Fast and Furious movies under extraordinary circumstances. And it's like, you're fucked, you're fucked now. Because I'm going to lift the veil a bit, right?

Where it's, it's like, I haven't seen any of the Fast and Furious movies subsequent to this. But culturally, I'm aware of them. And through osmosis, I know that in the most recent ones, Vin Diesel is in most of them through a, like, a team's call. And also, like, every other aspects of the movie is a kind of, I saw it described as hamburger, Shonan. It's so good. It accretes Hollywood huge guys, and they never kill any of them off, so every movie is just

more and more big motherfuckers. The cast and the guys just get bigger and bigger and bigger until like you need an IMAX screen just to contain one of them. And this begins to feel a little bit like, a little bit like the sort of end of the first act of Oppenheimer, you know? I, what are you about to do? Until someone builds a faster, furious. Yeah, yeah.

But of this, of course, it's Dominic Torreto, and he says, the line of the movie, he says, he says, watch any movie with free subtitles online. I love it, I love it when characters and movies say that, because I heard these movies, and the final subtitle line is always that, so it's always that. is that, so it's always the best one. This is like watching a man sentence himself to 15 years in prison. Yeah, except he's getting paid a million, bazillion dollars for doing it. Yeah, I had no idea what he was doing.

It's kind of a gilded cage, certainly. He's also introduced fantastically with music, because all of a sudden, it's no longer like sort of Japanese, US crossover pop stuff. There's Latino music that comes bouncing in, and the camera pans up, and whom's could it but be, but Vin Diesel. That's him Yeah And finally in the creditor says

Do not drive at home Yeah It's like don't drift In the matter of like The John Waters anti-smoking PSA Who could ever smoke in a movie theater I do want to note one thing Which is the initial

sort of like treatment for this In the original development What they wanted this to be And he wouldn't do it He only would do a cameo was Dominic Toreto goes to Japan to learn to drift and to solve a murder. And I really want them to make that one now anyway. It was, sorry, because I read this as well, but there was one bit that makes even more amazing.

What they wanted him to do is not just solve a murder, but they wanted him drifting around Buddha statues while Geisha looked on. Amazing. Awesome. That sounds so culturally sensitive. Incredible. I was going to say, I can't wait to see it. You'll never see that. You'll never see Dominic Tarasso drift around a Buddha statue.

And I think that's a great shame. But this movie had like a huge cultural impact because it was hugely successful and they didn't expect it to be. It was still not like one of the least successful ones in the whole franchise there, right? Oh, yeah. It only made $129 million. Yeah, which, you know, I would hate to only make $129 million. I don't know if I could, like, live with myself if I only made $129 million.

But, like, culturally, the impact of this, like, the entire Need for Speed franchise is downstream of this. Like, oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah. I mean, like, the ending race, the next installment of Need for Speed that came out after this, I think, that actually was fully developed after this movie came out was Need for Speed Carbon. and they have a mode that is basically it's the toge battle between

DK and Sean. It's just like you have to do the cliffside race and you can crash to the guardrail and die. Hugely impactful in the right circles. Yeah. No, I mean like this movie came out when I was 11, so for all of my teen years I sort of baked

in the sort of downstream effects of this movie and it's changed how I like looked at car culture and stuff. This like Grand Treesmo, a bunch of other stuff too, but like this movie really was, I think, the first one of the Fast and Furious franchise that actually shaped car culture afterward instead of just being

like, oh, hey, we, you know, here's cool, here's cool fast cars that Mitsubishi paid us for. What do we, what do we think the Fast and the Furious Tokyo Drift says about masculinity? Ooh. To be a carman is honorable. Does it have any? Well,

does it have any adults, isn't it? He's not like, you know, he's not that skeezy. He's quite emotionally mature by the end, and a way that I like. True. Like, it's nice to see the protagonist of a movie like going and apologizing and saying let's find a peaceful solution that's so nice and like a han is kind of the widely accepted as one of the coolest characters in the whole franchise and i don't think he does anything particularly egregious he's kind of like yeah this is all kind of childish bullshit beneath me uh and i'm just going to hang out in my big warehouse full of

like attractive women and cool cars and watch street racing videos accidentally made a guy cool by virtue of like not giving him that many lines. I, yeah, I don't know. I think that as much as there is... Han got bober fed? It's why he's called Han. Well, he's, like, he's called Han because, like, you know, ended up writing themselves into this guy's going to have a way bigger role than he should have done.

I mean, does do some like grooming. That's the downside of Han, you know? Han grooming of school child. Oh, yeah, that's the crazy thing is that this movie would have really different. He was grooming Sean, but he just died in a car crash before it came to fruition. Like, it's actually really good for that happened. He was playing the long game. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, Peter Mandelson's emailing Jeffrey Epstein, like, I can't believe Hahn died. It's crazy. Drift racing on Jeffrey Epstein Island? I got Brian O'Connor there next week. Awful. However, we don't just have to be subjective about this. We have a science-based system. It's called the scummit.

system, it's down to smam, cultural insensitivity, unprovoked violence and misogyny. On a scale of zero to seven, how smami is Tokyo drift? That's actually a really good question. It is, isn't it? Yeah. It kind of, it suggests an earnestness with Han being like, drifting as about, like, knowing yourself and stuff. Mm-hmm.

On the other hand, it does contain the sentences. Japanese fool is like, ohm. Like on. Don't ask, don't tail. Yeah, I feel like Twink is pushing it up. Twink's fourth wall break, I think, adds a full point to it. I reckon. In the movie, you don't break the fourth wall unless you're very pleased with yourself.

He winks at us. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Give him a full point for that. I'm not thrilled that Twink's only role in the movie is to, like, drive the plot forward and the Smarm score up, you know? He gets beaten up at one point and Sean helps him, whatever. He does. Yeah, that was the kind of.

character growth we were alluding to earlier. And then it was so unimportant, we didn't even mention it. Cultural insensitivity. We're giving a score. We haven't given a score. You're so right. Sorry, Smum, Smum. I was so ready to be done with Smum.

I don't know. What do we think? Alright, three? I would say like three. Three, sure. I think three. Okay. Cars are good enough.

You gotta knock one off because it's genuine about its love for car culture. Yeah, that counts. Does it count? Does love of car culture count for cultural insensitivity? Does that offset its cultural insensitivity towards the nation of Japan? Unfortunately, no. I know too many car people to think otherwise. Yeah, yeah.

The thing is, it gets pretty close to an omission. Almost. So the two Japanese women with speaking roles are the teacher being like, why aren't you putting on your sandals, you horrific Alabama and nightmare? and one girl going, wow, which is not great. Yeah. I don't like that you had to like establish... I mean, there is one line that Han gets when he's like lightly making fun of Sean about Nilo,

where he's like, why don't you get yourself a nice Japanese girl like every other white guy in Japan, which is funny. Sensitive, okay. I can lose him a point for that. I think so. That's reasonable. You know, there's a love about outsiders. It does resist the temptation that a lesser movie would have indulged in to like compare Sean to a kind of drifting samurai. I like that we don't go there.

Yes, thank you. Because it could be worse. I agree. I like that, well, I have mixed feelings about the fact that the love interest is not Japanese. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Like, they kind of bond over both being outsiders, which is interesting. And it doesn't do the thing of like, ah, the rewards of being.

like cool in Japan are Japanese women. Yeah. I like the little scene with short eating with his job sticks and the face is like, oh, what is this? And he eats it's like, oh, it's kind of all right, actually. You don't have the, I'm in a foreign land eating gross food thing, which is, you know. Yeah. And part of his character growth is learning to speak Japanese. I like what they treat gaigin like it might be a slur as well. I think that's just very fun. And there's the particular scene where like, D.K. is like,

all this over a ga Jin, and he was like, I'm a guy gin, which really... It makes some really broad statements about the role of conformity in Japanese society, which... You're right, it does. I'm not sure entirely nuanced, even if they're using them... And they're using them for the character growth of, chiefly, a white guy. And while it doesn't do the, like, he learns to be Japanese, and the ways in which he adapts to Japanese culture are, like, quite good, like, you know,

learning the language, learning some of the social norms and stuff. It sort of is as much as anything about him not doing that and not compromising and taking the, like, you know, the Mustang. And it's about being like, you know, sort of the best of both worlds kind of thing, which I think is, let's say, unreflective, maybe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, what if, what if an American and a Japanese? What if an American and Japanese guy were like one guy?

Can you imagine that? You know? It's like... I don't get British jeans clicked in there. You went Japanese? Yeah. I don't... How do we feel about another three?

I don't know how to put a number on this. I... Does it knock a point off because they put a Japanese engine into an American car and they didn't make a bunch of jokes about like... Yeah. Like that... That is like, for Bama boy, that is progressive. It is relatively sensitive.

about this stuff and it's not really triumphant anywhere. It's just Japan is a country that exists. Japan is a normal country. Yeah, yeah. Fashion capital of the world. Includes that gay guy. Like, and they're fine of it. They like him.

They made him their race starter. Yeah, true. Yeah, I think we might be headed for like a two or a three here then. I think it's actually quite good. You're right about the thing about the conformity being a pretty broad statement. How do we feel about three? I would go for a three. I think I'm pushing towards three on the basis that like you have a white guy telling another white guy.

Yeah. Japanese people love conformity. Yeah, true. Yeah. Which, yeah. Unprovoked violence. Sean very explicitly does not fight back. Yeah.

When he gets attacked. It's true. He does send those two high school kids careeding into a pipe. You didn't mean to. That was pretty provoked. Like, who threw the first baseball. Yeah. Green into a pipe.

Corrine into a pipe. Yeah, it's pretty low. I'm struggling to think. He seeks a peaceful solution at the end. He apologises? I think this is very low. The violence have imperiling a bunch of CGI spectators by drifting your car when you don't need to, I guess. Tenuous.

I mean, I think the violence done by D.K. is also pretty provoked because, as I was saying, for Han, is, was, will be whatever. meeting on him. Yeah, absolutely. Yes, for a two. The movie doesn't really ask us to endorse any... I don't think so, no. In fact, it suggests that, yeah,

violence is kind of like repulsive to women who are property. Yeah. And if you do violence, you're scaring the property. Yeah. So... And conflict resolution is drive. Yeah. Exactly.

Yeah. Talking, and if talking fails, driving. Might be a one. It could be a one to me. One, yeah. I think it's a one. Yep.

Finally, misogyny. All, here we go. They didn't let any of these ones be in the movie, just as a starter. There's a lot of asses in the movie. Both we and the movie forget to ask the question, hey, what about Niela doing some stuff in a car until it's too late? And there's another bit we skipped over where he's messaging her in class being like on MSN Messenger, how come I never see you drift? Yeah, he texts on Excel, like, yeah, yeah. And she's like, because you never ask and then she drives him.

which is another entry in the franchise's thing of like men allowing women to drive them, which is like still fucking ahead of car culture in some ways. The aforementioned six car drifting convoy under the moonlight. She was driving in that scene. Yeah. She's got to mention that. Her car is cool. It is, but she's in it for like five minutes.

Well, I think in terms of the way the franchise treats women as like trophies and also a set dressing, I think it's as bad as has ever been. I agree. I also, like, she's in a schoolgirl outfit so much. Yeah, and this is where I think it needs to be into the punitive section. Because, again, one of the first things this movie does is show us a child's underwear. It's like, these are children. They're like, the women as, like, property extends even to, like, underage girls.

And that is fucking disgusting. I think it's got to be a nine or a ten. Yeah, I mean. Yeah. Because it established it right at a start is like, these, they're all 17. And then it just keeps saying it throughout the movie. It just, like, why? It keeps directing it at Sean because it would be too obviously disgusting if they directed it at Nila, right?

Yeah. But yeah, no, they're like, what's with you in school girls? I just like, that's not a guy you hang out with? What's wrong with you? Yeah. I think it's got a problem aside. That's your boy. You've got to check in with them.

Yeah. And the end montage is, we've learned nothing because the end montage is the same as the starting montage in Japan. It's just cars are asses and midrifts and young women. Yeah, like, yeah. It's bad. It's bad. I would go for, I guess, an eight. Like, if I...

I think it's going to be high. Like, again, child's underwear in the first one. True. Yeah. Twice. What punitive rate did we give Goldfinger again? Goldfinger, we gave a nine for misogyny because it contained like a textual corrective rape. Yeah.

So that's what sort of puts me at an eight is that this movie doesn't do that, but it does suggest, like... I don't want to rank pedophilia in rape. But I want to give it higher than eight. Okay. I think it's got to be a nine or a ten. There was also the weird two-second shot of the performative lesbians in the corridor in the Hun Club Club. You're right, you're right. I don't want to give it more than Goldfinger is the thing.

Both point breaks got an eight and misogyny. That's what I'm seeing. Yeah. I would be happy with a nine, but not with a ten, I think. I'm going to vote against you. I vote ten. To dev. I think nine.

We're early in the season. It might get worse. Yeah, this is true. Yeah, that is true. That gives a total score. I think that's generous. I think that gives a total score of 16, which means it's not as bad as too fast, too furious,

but is worse than the first one. That tracks. So, again, science-based system does not fail. I don't think the second one was a better movie. His second one was a better movie. I had more fun with that. I did have much more fun of it. I can't wait to see what the fuck they do with the next one.

Well, I think we can all agree on one thing, which is we're never going to see Hart. again. Absolutely. Any condi steens? Any good nights? Um, um, I don't think so.

I don't really go above and beyond for the cause. I mean, like, D.K does kind of try very hard. I guess the point is what cause? Nothing's ever written. Like, there's no actual statement. The biggest threat is you have to leave town. Good night cross to the Japanese cops who refused to be involved in this movie.

I respect. Just like, this is not worth our time. We're not interested. Gorgeous. Well, that is a beautiful podcast and I have two questions to ask our guests if the people want more Victoria

where can they find more Victoria? I've got a Patreon where I'm and I'm making episodes of a podcast called Tran Girlismo Yeah it's great We have to come on I and another trans woman ex auto industry journalist

talk about how fucked the entire auto industry is Amazing So we have we both love this movie but we agree that it is one of the most misogynist things ever made. If you liked that take, you would enjoy the show. We have a Patreon for it. I literally just launched it this week, so I have no idea what the bonus episodes are or whatever,

but you can check it out wherever these podcasts. And my second question, if the people want more Rob, where can they find more Rob? They can listen to Praxiscast, at Praxascast on Blue Sky, four free ones, two bonus ones every month. It's mainly British politics. We also do like about one movie month.

The last one is on Patreon, but we did the last Mission Impossible. We talked about that for two and a half hours. So if you really want to listen to us, talk for two and a half hours about the last Mission Impossible, you can do that there. And you can follow me personally at Trufflehog, also on Blue Sky. Oh, yeah. Also, definitely don't wait for our episode on Mission Impossible because it will be Tom Cruise as a working actor, two minutes, two hours, 29 minutes of silence. We are waiting for him to die. For real, though, it's crazy he owned slaves.

Anyway, thank you so much for listening. Subscribe to the Patreon. Our next bonus episode is going to be... I think that's going to be... It's yours. It's my episode. Yeah, our next bonus episode is going to be Wages of Fear. So if you're into, like, French existentialist films that contain...

Not cars, but sort of enemy of the car, the truck. Then subscribe to the Patreon for that, and we will see you next time. The moderate trucker returns. Bye everyone. Thank you for listening to yet another episode of Kill James Bond. The next episode in two weeks' time on the free feed will be fast and furious, which I understand to be the fourth, the fast and the furious movie. And for those of you waiting in abject terror,

she's in that one, and we're all just going to deal with it, okay? But if that is simply too long for you to wait, then you can head on over to our Patreon. Patreon.com slash Kill James Bond, all one word, and sign up day for as little as five pounds a month. And that gets you access to not only the new episodes, but access to our entire five-year-long backlog of bonus episodes. There are movies in there you can't imagine. We've done movies you've never heard of. We've done movies you have heard of. But that's about it, really. Really? Check out our collections on Patreon for curated lists of our backlog.

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