Kill James Bond! - S4E40.5: Convoy

Episode Date: June 5, 2026

This is a preview of a bonus episode! Check out the whole thing, as well as our half-decade backlog, on our patreon! Holding the rare accolade of being one of the only movies ever made based on a song, Convoy is a tale of an emergent revolution; a small act of police corruption leads to a breakout of violence at a truck stop, and the fleeing truckers attract more and more attention during their journey south. But, as the Convoy captures the imagination and hearts of the american people, politicians and the media plot to coopt and defang their message, whatever it might be.   ----- HANDS OFF LEBANON Here are some fundraisers to support collective rebuilding and survival efforts on the ground in Lebanon. -Beit El-Baraka started out as a food bank, but has grown to help people afford rent, cover their essentials, and live with dignity.  https://beitelbaraka.org/donate-directly/ or donate in general https://beitelbaraka.org/donate-now/ -LiveLove was a charity for a number of other matters, but since 2024 has been solely comitted to helping people displaced by Israeli attacks. https://livelove.org/donate -Lebanese Food Bank supports displaced and impoverished people https://lebanesefoodbank.org/take-action/donate/ Solar Powered Lebanon is an initiative to restore people's power using solar panels, since larger infrastructure is at constant risk of attack. https://fundahope.com/en/campaigns/solar-powered-lebanon   FREE PALESTINE My friend Ahmed still needs to feed his family and afford medicine. Anything you can kick in would be hugely appreciated. https://chuffed.org/project/150817-please-help-ahmed-and-his-family-get-food-drink-and-medicine And these are some more general links you can support collective efforts with! -The Palestinian Communist Youth Union is doing a food and water effort, and is part of the official communist party of Palestine https://www.gofundme.com/f/to-preserve-whats-left-of-humanity-global-solidarity -Water is Life, a water distribution project in North Gaza affiliated with an Indigenous American organization and the Freedom Flotilla https://www.waterislifegaza.org/ -Vegetable Distribution Fund, which secured and delivers fresh veg, affiliated with Freedom Flotilla also https://www.instagram.com/linking/fundraiser?fundraiser_id=1102739514947848 ----- WEB DESIGN ALERT Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ ----- Kill James Bond is hosted by November Kelly, Abigail Thorn, and Devon. You can find us at https://killjamesbond.com , as well as on our Bluesky and X.com the everything app account

Breaker, breaker, this is Brick joke. What's your 20 come back? Breaker, this is the Sussex Gimp. We hear you loud and clear. Hi, brick, joke. Hi, Sussex Gimp. I'm mining the back door. This is Mommy Mover.

Holden ass. Holden 10,000 sex asses all the way. Mommy mover, I'm hearing you loud and clear coming through the beautiful CB radio. Welcome to Kill J's Bond podcast, the only podcast recorded by three sequential trucks. Just moving through the California. It doesn't. In the course of truck season, we have become the trucks. I gotta tell you, you gave me the pick and it's like, oh, Armageddon, that's a movie

about trucks, sure. Yeah. Oh, the Irishman, that's a movie about trucks, sure. I challenge you to find a frame of this movie that doesn't have at least one truck in it. This is one of the most about trucks movies I think I've ever seen. I would say so. This is about trucks. I would say so because today, Devin, it is your bonus pick.

and it's Convoy, the 1978 entry, I would say the definitive entry, in the small, weird category of movies made after novelty songs. Yeah, this is the movie of the song, Convoy. Which I had never heard before watching the movie, which is very funny. I was like, why did they keep playing this fucking song? All right. It's a pretty straight adaptation of the song Convoys. That's true. It really does.

So the thing to know is that CB radio was a fad in the 70s because truckers used it to communicate. And so functionally, this is sort of like subculturally, if you had a movie called group chat after a song entitled group chat, the chorus of which is, we got a big old group chat posting through the night. Come on and join our group chat. Angie your beautiful side. Group chat. And CB radio lasted a couple of years and then disappeared without trace. Oh, did truckers not still use CB radios? I don't think it's a cultural phenomenon in the same way.

I guess they don't all like by default use it, I suppose. Which is that that's a shame. You should be able to do this. These days they're all texting and driving is the thing. Oh, yeah, they're in a group chat. off with the one hand, texting in the other. This day, they're just, they're driving on the highway, they're screaming down 95 kilometers per hour, they don't know what any of that means, but they got their phone up, they're staring

out of their own, Jachy-T, generate me a video of me meeting Iron Man. Whoa. Straight through like a bus stop or something. Back in the day, before internet. Back in the day, they were proletarians. You had to talk to each other like it was 1978, on a little radio headset. They've all got anxiety. Yeah.

This was the thing that we saw, we saw fucking in big trouble in Little China. Yeah. Like, this was what he was doing when he was on the radio and the truck. Jack Burton was on the radio podcast and just saying whatever over the airwaves. And these are the airwaves. On the subject to like new generations having phone anxiety, yesterday somebody who is, bless at 21, said to me,

she was having a cake delivered for a party. And she was like, I just called the bakery. and I had like no problems being on the phone with them. And she said this is like a tone of being like expecting me to congratulate her. And I just went, in a way that I now realized it was really insensitive. I was like, why would you have problems calling a bakery? And she was like, because it's a phone call. And I was like, what?

Oh, yeah, great job. Yay! Zoom is on the CB radio just like playing away. Everyone's talking. I'm not touching it. Yeah. I'm like staring on it. This is like the Voicamp test to me.

Like the zoomer, your phone mogging this zoomer. and the Zuma's just lying there, like having made the phone call looking up at you and you're not helping, why aren't you helping the Zoom? You're not congratulating the Zuma. Why don't you congratulating her? I did, I did.

I was like, well done, well done. You made a phone call on her own. I'm pretty bad. We have a bunch of actions that we do a VACORN that involve phone calls. You laugh when I tell you who that Zuma was off, Mike. If you think it's taking me a second to get to the point of this podcast,

it's because this movie is heavily padded. Oh, yeah. It's pretty thin on the ground. You could sum it up in about one song. And that song would run, oh, two, three minutes. Three minutes, maybe. Maximum. And so going to Hollywood and going,

give me two hours out of this, is a fine exercise in the padding arts. Yeah. But part of that padding art is to just show us, we open on long stretches of just barrens, own wasteland, sand, not a soul around, and then the distance. Arizona, baby. A truck.

We get a little cameo from the road from one battle after another. Oh, really? Hello. Which love to see it getting work. Yeah. And just the credits. The credits promise so much. If you hand me a credit, like, and featuring Ernest Borgnine as Dirty Lyell, amazing.

And he does a great job. Oh, yeah. He's a very racist cop. That's true. That's true. So what we're doing out in the Arizona desert is a Jaguar X-K-E convertible sports car is overtaking an 18-wheeler. And he immediately tries to sort of like honk the horn to like, I guess, bait her into a duel-type situation. I'm like straight up, you've got to duel this woman, like right away because she overtakes him and then...

Yeah, the Jaguar is being driven by this sexy lady. And the truck is being driven by an all-American hero, Mr. Trucker. Mr. Trucker, Chris Christopherson. Robert Duck, as we will learn his name is, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, Ali McGraw, amazing. She looks so fucking good at this movie. But she just like pulls up in front of him and then like sits there.

So he immediately begins dueling her. Yeah. And they get, but it's dual. It's kind of like a flirty duel. They're all alongside. It's like a playful, flotatious duel. It's less duel more trade. And I know when we talked about Jill,

we talked about how that's a very like, gay and cruising movie. But this is like, this is heterosexual flirting is what this is. This is, yeah. This is like the decameran. This is like the cans of retails, you know? Truck masculine and car feminine. Yeah, especially the Jaguar, like, very, like, sleek. The Jaguar is very cavacious.

Yeah, yeah. That's a cavacious car. Very sexy car. But yeah, he likes, she's taken photos of him on like this Nikon, but I didn't, didn't pause to try to find out what it was. I did very well for myself. Well, well-time. What's it going to go?

What is that? I'm going to ruin this for both of us as the two photographers on the thing. She's got two. She's got a Nikon F, and she's got, I think it's an F. It's an FM2 with a big motor drive on it. It's cool. Yeah, it does look good. She's taking photos of him through the thing and then a cop spots him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're putting each other. They're taking up both lanes, by the way. Yeah. This is all very sort of harmless, at which point I know that the credit pops up for the director. and this was directed by Sam Beckenpa. The guy who did The Wild Bunch, the guy who's the reason why the gunshot effects

and Red Dead Redemption too are the way that they are. Like, the man who brought Gore to the West. This is a man we will talk about a lot in varmence season. Absolutely. A little preview of varmets season for you let us. Mist of violence, taking a bit of a holiday from his usual fare, to do what if this one was kind of horny? Hmm. Okay.

And so the state trooper pulls him over. There's a cop coming in the other direction who has to swerve because they're taking up both lanes and then he turns the sirens on and he pulls the truck over. And the trucker protests, of course, that he has been inveigled into this by a beautiful woman. First, the trucker, when he's pulled over, he immediately gets out of the truck and I'm like, if you did that in front of American cop now, this is a genuine listener's hauntology moment. If you do that now, they will kill you dead We'll straight execute you for that man

If you are pulled over by an American cop As I was in a car a week ago That was pulled over to buy American cop Put your fucking hands on 10 and 2 And do not fucking move Yeah Because if you fucking blink they will kill you I'd make that fuck up 100%

I would get out of the car And be like, hey officer Like wave, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang! Yeah, you've been shot a million times in their head I feared for my life and the lives of my fellow officers bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. But Chris Christopherson, he's jumping out of the truck in his double denim. He's making fast lunges for his Smith and Wesson novelty gun-shaped wallet in the back of his waistband.

He's asking the cop if he wants a bridge named after him. There is nothing this guy won't do. That's good. He grabs his, like, he's got his trucker log, his log book, and he chucks out of a guy. And a guy's also gun-shaped. Also gun-shape. My novelty gun-shaped truck log. Catch!

But the thing. is this cop isn't engaged in a sort of war against all civilians. This cop is engaged in a shakedown, right? Like most of the cop stuff happening here is in pursuit of legalized robbery, right? Either in the form of fines or air quotes, fines to just take bribes off of truckers. I'm going to cite you for something that's got like a hundred pound fine, a hundred dollar, obviously. Hand us something over. Dangerous driving and speeding.

And then we see the, this is a great character establishing moment, right? Is that you put your main character in a situation in which they have to make a choice and the choice reveals something about them. And like we reveal that our trucker, Mr. Rubber Duck, is wily because he says, ah, well, you know, it's all worth it. Because the girl driving that Jaguar was smoking hot and she just wasn't wearing any underwear, man. Breaker, this is the Sussex Gimp.

If you're going to want to hear the rest of this episode of Kill James Bond, you're going to need to head on over to Patreon.com slash Kill James Bond, all one word and sign up for at least five pounds a month. All right. 10 forward, good buddy. I'll see you on the flip.