Kill James Bond! - S4E43.75: Black Dog

Episode Date: July 31, 2026

This is a preview of a bonus episode! Listen to the rest, along with our extensive backlog, on our reasonably priced patreon! A semi-aged Patrick Swayze is forced to drive a load of counterfeit illegal toilets across America, but Meatloaf is determined to get Swayze's load on his hands by any means necessary... ----- HANDS OFF LEBANON Here are some fundraisers to support collective rebuilding and survival efforts on the ground in Lebanon. -Beit El-Baraka started out as a food bank, but has grown to help people afford rent, cover their essentials, and live with dignity.  https://beitelbaraka.org/donate-directly/ or donate in general https://beitelbaraka.org/donate-now/ -LiveLove was a charity for a number of other matters, but since 2024 has been solely comitted to helping people displaced by Israeli attacks. https://livelove.org/donate -Lebanese Food Bank supports displaced and impoverished people https://lebanesefoodbank.org/take-action/donate/ Solar Powered Lebanon is an initiative to restore people's power using solar panels, since larger infrastructure is at constant risk of attack. https://fundahope.com/en/campaigns/solar-powered-lebanon ----- FREE PALESTINE My friend Ahmed still needs to feed his family and afford medicine. Anything you can kick in would be hugely appreciated. https://chuffed.org/project/150817-please-help-ahmed-and-his-family-get-food-drink-and-medicine And these are some more general links you can support collective efforts with! -The Palestinian Communist Youth Union is doing a food and water effort, and is part of the official communist party of Palestine https://www.gofundme.com/f/to-preserve-whats-left-of-humanity-global-solidarity -Water is Life, a water distribution project in North Gaza affiliated with an Indigenous American organization and the Freedom Flotilla https://www.waterislifegaza.org/ -Vegetable Distribution Fund, which secured and delivers fresh veg, affiliated with Freedom Flotilla also https://www.instagram.com/linking/fundraiser?fundraiser_id=1102739514947848 ----- WEB DESIGN ALERT Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ Kill James Bond is hosted by November Kelly, Abigail Thorn, and Devon. You can find us at https://killjamesbond.com  

One load, Atlanta to hear. Melanie, I'll make enough money to get us out of this. The last time you said one more load, then we'd be okay. We weren't. So, and welcome to another bonus episode of Kill James Bond. I am November Kelly. I am joined, as always, by my friends Abigail Thorne and Devon. Hello.

Kawabanga, what's up? How are we doing today? Oh, I think this is going to be an interesting moment in the history of the podcast. as Abigail takes us to a film with a 13% on Rotten Tomatoes. Is this the lowest we've ever had? I don't know. Oh my goodness, no. No.

I think that's harsh. I enjoyed it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What we are talking about is 1998 black dog. And this is Patrick Swayze film. It's a truck film.

It is certainly a truck film. You cannot argue that it isn't. It's definitely a truck film. It's got meatloaf in it, as in the guy? It's got meatloaf in it, baby. Can we talk about meatloaf? Just really quickly. It's...

Please. Fuck, yes. It's so funny to be doing action roles and still making them credit you as meatloaf. I'm never going to get over... Yeah, he's not Dwayne the Meatloaf Johnson. He's like... He's not changed his professional name. I don't even know what his real name.

Meatloaf. What the fuck even was his name? Marvin... I think it was Meatloaf, I'm pretty sure. Excuse me. to just dead name meatloaf here, Michael Lee Aday. What the hell? Okay, yeah.

Keeps the doctor away. You see why the meatloaf. But it is very funny to have, as this movie does, a very sort of bombastic opening sequence, which really hits you over the head with, Patrick Swayze is in this movie, meatloaf is in this movie, and then a lot of people whose names you may not recognize.

One person whose name I sure fucking recognize, maybe we will get to that. But, okay, it's a modern Western as well, listeners. We're doing Cowboys. truckers are the cowboys, truckers of the air to the cowboy spirit. Oh shit, this was, this was the sort of pivot that we were going to do all along, you know, from my season into varmint season, into Western season. We start with some cool Western music and we are in beautiful New Jersey.

Yeah, wow. Trucker's paradise. We introduced immediately to truck, which is, of course, carrying cargo, carrying goods, but it's being followed by the FBI who are doing some real, let's say, Golden Harvest ADR. Yes. I would say that a lot of the dialogue for this film was recorded, oh, six to 18 months after filming concluded.

Yeah, there's some really funny ADR in this movie. Yeah, it's great. But the FBI are trailing this chunk. We get some dramatic music. And then we get some American goon cars, the airs to the kind of like little French car with the yellow headlights from James Bond is we get some black Mustangs

start following. I feel sort of like we need the Victoria Scott consult here, but this does seem, 1998, it seems to me like the Ford Mustang's ass era because these these like cars, which I understand

are meant to be cool, come out of nowhere to, you know, start attacking the truck Fast and Furious style, and I just look at them and think, it seems like a bad car to me. It doesn't compel me at all, I'm afraid. I don't know. It's kind of like a little sedan, you know? I don't know. It's kind of cute because we don't have these cars anymore. You can't buy a

sedan anymore. You can only buy a tank. To me, it looks alarmingly. It's a shame. Alarmingly British. It looks like a Ford escort, you know. It does. It really does. I thought these were like, I mean, this is the kind of shit that my mom was driving at the time. This is not like, hell yeah. This is not. Mom. drove on myself. I don't think so, no. But we get a cool car chase. This blows the surveillance operation.

Yeah, yeah. And so the truck driver sort of takes evasive maneuvers that makes them lose one of the big sort of cargo crates, which snaps open on the streets reveal that it's full of guns, right? And this is why. Yeah. Powerful evasive maneuvers of just raising the bed of the truck and then starting driving crazy style. Yeah.

That would also get me to break the chest. You can just start driving chasing, fucking hell, you can just start driving crazy style any time you want. I mean, don't go berserker mode if you want to. Don't answer that question that way on like the theory test or anything,

but it is possible for you to do. Just start whipping the wheel back and forth. Yeah, if you're driving right now, start going crazy style with it. How many deaths do you think this podcast of ours is responsible for? Not enough. We'll never find out.

They're never, comment on the Patreon. And if they did, I wouldn't read it. Exit Survey, I am currently driving crazy style and fear I may die. Exit Survey filled out mid-air from going off the bridge from driving crazy style. Just like, I will not be continuing my Patreon support of Kill James Bond as I am dead. The rewards are not what I expected. I am driving the fastest car in Cuba off of the Malicon.

Sorry and goodbye forever. I'm about to hit the water and become gay immediately. This podcast is sailing into the Apple. afterlife and digging a trench and filling it with blood to ask you why you don't subscribe with the Patreon. The deeds of our Patreon subscribers are gathered around to shame us. But anyway, this truck driver, he manages to drive the truck into a bus and perfectly explodes.

This sets off, I would say one of about a dozen crashes in this movie that leads to a perfect explosion. It's great. Very compelling. They know. what I want out of the movie, which is to see a practical car hit something and just explode like it was gathering the wages of face. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love it. I have to imagine that the sort of stunt direction on this film is now a sort of lost art of, yeah, we just filled a car with like kerosene and igniters and explosives. Pushed it down a hill and blew it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's so clearly like a fucking gas explosion because it's bright reds. as well. It's really fun.

But we see that the FBI surveillance team immediately get on a fight with the drivers of these Mustangs who are the ATF. Yeah. What does that stand for? Oh, well, according to the FBI, it stands for alcohol, tobacco, and fuck-ups. Yeah.

Pretty good. It's not bad. I personally would come back on this with, like, an FBI bit. I think you live in a bit of a glass house if your own organization has an F in the actual. acronym this way, but, you know, it's fine. In this case, our ATF guy, he is very therapist in his language.

He's Agent Soy, and then the FBI is Agent Chat, and they don't get on. He's five with each other. He's a guy I'd love to see, Stephen Tablowski, who is in nearly everything. Hard to even give you a specific thing. Is it Sammy Jank is in Memento, maybe the one that's will be most familiar with? But he's been like three movies every year since, like, 85. The type of line that you're getting off of this guy is I'm sensing a lot of aggression, a lot of hostility from this conversation, you know.

I love it. That's kind of the one joke that these two have. Yeah, they're soy and chat. They're like cookies and the opposite of cookies, you know, chalk and cheese. They're both working the same investigation, which is... Cuckeys and anti-mutter cookies. Illegal firearms, right?

and the ATF want to bust the firearms themselves and the FBI want to sort of work both ends and get the buyer and the seller, right? And so they're forced to work together. Yes. Yeah. One of the opening lines is from the FBI guys being like, we are only trying to monitor this guy,

we don't want to take him in. And that sets their approach for the entire rest of the movie. We're just going to keep an eye on this and see what happens. Yeah, it's like the FBI here are doing sort of seasons 1 through 3 of the wire and then the ATF are doing like seasons 4 through 5 of the wire if you catch me.

Down on the docks, men are hitting girders with hammers and so on. Men, men are doing manly business, give me good numbers, Jimmy, but like mask. There's a lot of give me good numbers, Jimmy lines in this. There's a lot of incidental

dialogue that rings just very, very preciously, falsely. Yeah, I love it. But so we are We're in a truck garage and working on one of these trucks is an aged, Swayzey, I think we can say. I think it was good. He's touching aged, yeah. He's right at the very end of it. Patrick Swazy born 1952, 1998 minus 92 to 92.

I can't do math, I'm just a girl, but that's cool. this 1952, 46-year-old man in this sort of working on the truck. He has a boss. Looking good. He's going to pick up this movie and he's going to carry this movie

all the way to the end, baby. Thank you, Patrick Swayze. Yeah, he is going to try his best. And he's very much giving a sort of like, you know, mid-career Segal protagonist's performance here. In that he just wants to get home to his wife and daughter and his daughter's football game or whatever.

And he has a boss who's like, Ra, I hate Patrick Swayze being a good father. I'm gonna sneer at the idea of fatherhood. Motivation. Fucking Patrick Swayze up. That's it. I hate barbecue and I hate Christmas and I hate all the things. And he says, we get the first of about a million lines involving the word loads because his boss says, You've got to fix this truck.

I got a bunch of loads going out. I'm like, good for you, man. Okay, man. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, all right. You know what's happened here. You've reached the end of the free section of the episode, and you're going to have to go to patreon.com slash kill James Bond, all one word, and sign up today for as little as five pounds a month to get access to the rest of it.

And I got to tell you, there's a riff about the 17 to 24 minute mark that will be worth it. So, hey, I'll see you on the Patreon.