Kill James Bond! - S4E44: The Taking of Pelham 123

Episode Date: August 7, 2026

Hello Trainmaster. It's time to talk about the taking of pelham 123 for the first ever time. Despite being rudderless without our fearless leader November Kelly, we are ably joined by her surviving No Gods No Mayors cohosts, Mattie Lubchansky and Riley Quinn! ---- HANDS OFF LEBANON Here are some fundraisers to support collective rebuilding and survival efforts on the ground in Lebanon. -Beit El-Baraka started out as a food bank, but has grown to help people afford rent, cover their essentials, and live with dignity.  https://beitelbaraka.org/donate-directly/ or donate in general https://beitelbaraka.org/donate-now/ -LiveLove was a charity for a number of other matters, but since 2024 has been solely comitted to helping people displaced by Israeli attacks. https://livelove.org/donate -Lebanese Food Bank supports displaced and impoverished people https://lebanesefoodbank.org/take-action/donate/ Solar Powered Lebanon is an initiative to restore people's power using solar panels, since larger infrastructure is at constant risk of attack. https://fundahope.com/en/campaigns/solar-powered-lebanon ----- FREE PALESTINE My friend Ahmed still needs to feed his family and afford medicine. Anything you can kick in would be hugely appreciated. https://chuffed.org/project/150817-please-help-ahmed-and-his-family-get-food-drink-and-medicine And these are some more general links you can support collective efforts with! -The Palestinian Communist Youth Union is doing a food and water effort, and is part of the official communist party of Palestine https://www.gofundme.com/f/to-preserve-whats-left-of-humanity-global-solidarity -Water is Life, a water distribution project in North Gaza affiliated with an Indigenous American organization and the Freedom Flotilla https://www.waterislifegaza.org/ -Vegetable Distribution Fund, which secured and delivers fresh veg, affiliated with Freedom Flotilla also https://www.instagram.com/linking/fundraiser?fundraiser_id=1102739514947848 ----- WEB DESIGN ALERT Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ Kill James Bond is hosted by November Kelly, Abigail Thorn, and Devon. You can find us at https://killjamesbond.com

Listen, train master. Your locomotive has been hijacked by a group of heavily armed men. It what? Waguana Lakum. And welcome to yet another episode of Kill James Bond. I'm Devin. I'm joined as ever by my friend Abigail Thorne. Cowabunga?

And no November Kelly. It's weird today. I'm afraid our fearless leader has been laying low yet again. She's caught tuberculosis from the ghost of Gavrello Princip at a Czech military hospital. while engaged in a disco-elisium-themed live-action role-playing event. But fortunately, we two don't have to muddle on alone. We are joined to sit shiver by two of the only people who could possibly understand the depths of our bereavement.

Please join me in welcoming the two surviving hosts of No Gods and No Mears. Riley Quinn and Maddie Lachanski. That's right. We have names. They fucking know. Okay, I don't know. I was waiting for Maddie to go first. That's fair enough. Yeah.

Are you saying sitting shiva because it's Jewish coded because it's a New York movie or because I'm here? That's just my question. I think it's funny to imagine that we're shitting sitting shiver over like. Shitting, sydhivir. We're all getting together on webcam to sit shiver. Yeah. Anyway, welcome to Kill Mayers No Bond.

That's right. Yeah, that's right. Kill Bond. Remember when the episode is over for a sense of completion for the shiver, go outside and walk in a circle around the building that you're in. just to sort of get some closure. I do that after everybody. I've always heard that the best way to sit Shiva is to go to work and do your job.

Yes, absolutely. That's correct. Traditionally, it's supposed to be a time of working and reflecting on a film. It's unreflecting on emails. Yes. And what a film we have to reflect on friends. This is the first ever time that we've recorded an episode about the movie, the taking of Pelham, one, two, three.

Mm-hmm. Yep. How do we all feel about this movie when we saw it the first time? When I saw it for the first time six weeks ago. Yeah, listeners, I owe you an apology here because the thing about me listeners is I'm a psycho. And I maintain a ruthlessly clean desktop on my computer at all times. So basically, as soon as we finish the podcast, I upload the file into the shared Google Drive and then delete everything, just like wipe everything. And the upload failed.

and then there was no way to get it back. It's the first time that's happened. But it's because I'm just like OCD about my computer. Something to find out that you've been sat under a sword of Damocles the entire time when it finally hits. Sometimes I wonder like, could you, because like every, in our industry, the terror of the corrupted file, the failed upload, whatever is always there. It's like the black dog for podcasting.

Could it be possible to like mix down everything else and then just, try and say what you think you might have said in the gaps. I'd wait that up so briefly, but I thought it would be funnier to have a lost episode. Racing my own ghost in Mario Kart. Yeah. That was simply you deleting all the files on your computer, Abby.

That was simply you being inhabited by the mayor, the meritaculus, the spirit of it. It was piloting your body, making you do that because it knew that this is such a municipal movie that you needed some municipal guests. Exactly.

Yes. And also that, that what you're doing really is us a favor because you are getting, I usually watch this movie on about an annual clock and you're giving me an excuse to double it up, or as I call it, the taking of Pelham 246. Hey, hey. That's what this year is for me.

This and three days of the Condor are my annual, my annual rewatches. Perfect movies. But listeners, we are in 1970s, New York City. It looks like shit. Mamdani is Master of Manhattan Subways of Battlefields and we're in a time when everyone dresses weird

half the carbon in the atmosphere hasn't been omitted yet but there's trash in the streets but everyone's ties are yellow so who's to say if it's better than or not there's trash in the streets which means that anyone who moves to New York from I don't know next year

won't recognize it quite so much we have a very suspicious looking man with a big mustache wander his way down into a New York City subway and get onto a train. He's carrying a very long package of some kind. And slowly he's joined by three other mustached and hatted and overcoated individuals who begin skulking around this train car. They're all cosplaying as Zenegada. There's like a, there's an anime convention and they're all going there. And there's a trainee conductor on the train who very helpfully tells us

everything that he's doing so we understand how the train works, which is nice. One of these guys, one of these Zenegada's, these anime con going motherfuckers, sexually harasses a lady on the train. And it's like, oh, that's how we know he's going to be the wain grow of the team. That's our wain grow. It's kind of three wangroes on this team. He has. Oos all wangroes.

Yeah. It's like three wangroes and then like a disgruntled ex transit employee. And one Mr. Magoo. Like that's the team. Yeah. It very much, this very much is a story of the, the corruption of our Mr. Magoo figure. He comes into this so certain that nothing will happen.

Yeah. That this is going to go off so easily. Yeah. But there's someone else. Yeah. The fourth guy has a cold, Mr. Green. Because they've all got, they've all got, like, colored code names. It's like, Mr. Blue is the boss.

Mr. Green is the guy who has a cold. And then there's Mr. Brown, who's just kind of like also here. And Mr. Gray, who's Wayne Grove. And that's Hector Alizando, I think, is the Wangro figure. The chauffeur himself from, uh, from fucking the Princess Diaries, which is where. I recognize him from. Quentin and Tarantina by written directino. Just stolen.

We'll do reservoir dogs at some point, but it's just like, you hack, bastard. We'll have to actually, yeah, yeah. He did. He completely ripped off this. Yeah. Well, it was harder to see movies back then. He just had access to a rental store, you know?

Nice. He was telling you, yeah. And we stick up the driver. We have a fourth guy. We got Robert fucking Shaw, baby, waiting. on one of the platforms. He sees, there's a homosexual man who, like, wanders around near him. I only know that because in the credits, the man is known as the homo, right?

Is it actually? I don't know if it's the homo, but he's specifically the gay one on the train. Really? Robich-in-shod was, like, staring at him a little bit and he goes, what's the matter, baby, never seen a sunset before? And I'm like, I love you, brother. I immediately was like, I'm going to start saying this to people on the street when they stare at me. I'm going to say, you know, I'm not so good.

Never seen a sunset. By implication, any other unnamed character is like... Straight. Because that's the only person who... No, we don't know. We don't know. Yeah. He's the only person with a definite sexuality is the one guy.

It's called the homosexual. Yeah, it's almost like heterosexuality is seen as a kind of default. And then like homosexuality or any other sexuality is seen as kind of like authoring and needs to be marked. Anyway, Mr. Blue, the boss, that's Robert Shaw. and he's English. He's very, very posh. Yeah, yeah, he's got a very, very posh English accent. He pulls up to the window,

because we've seen from our guy earlier on that's like running through what a conductor does. The thing to do now is to lean out of the window and check the train. And this guy leans out of the window to check the train, and it's Denny Doyle, by the way, fucking guy I love to see, leans out the window to check the train,

is told, hey, I'm taking the train. To which he responds, you're taking my train? I just got it. We never imagined that someone would be able to do this before. Why would you? It only goes to like two directions. There's like five characters at the start of this movie

or all independently say something like, who would steal a train? What are you stupid? My favorite thing about this movie, I think, this is my second launch of it in my life. And I think my favorite thing about it is that everybody is at work. And you are bothering them at work.

Everyone's trying to talk to each other. They're yelling. Everyone just goes, I'm in fucking work right now. I'm in work. I'm trying to do my job at work. at work and you're bothering me and it's incredible. Everyone is so stressed. Everyone running the New York City subway is yelling at each other. This is just what life in the Big Apple is like folks. I can tell I can report back. Yeah. It is such, that's one of the reasons why I love this movie so much is that

in addition to being like a very like well put together suspense. It's like, well, what is their plan? How are they going to get away with it? That it also is a picture of a sort of highly dysfunctional. is a picture of an actual system being held together by a bunch of large middle-aged men screaming at one another. And an outdated signal system that the one that you see in this movie, the signal system when they're in that one room, like tracing where the train is and the little Christmas lights. Guess what? Guess what's still in use today?

Oh, yeah. Well, what are you going to do? Stop the subway for like a couple of days just so that you could change the systems over? Literally like all the time the train is down because for like signal updates. and they're like very, very, very, or signal modernization, and they've been slowly doing it for decades now, but it's still this like ancient system that are, that's like analog.

They're going to finish modernizing and they will have been modernized in 1990. And they'll be like, fuck, like, for real. And I think, I think people are no longer using the fucking Alexander Graham Bell telephone on the scissor arm anymore. I think that's gone. It's probably a regular phone. That's woke. We need to bring that back straight away.

I love the fucking big, like, arm. Watson, come here, I need you. It's kind of what we're all talking to right now, actually. As much as I appreciate your need to get around the city, can you please appreciate my need to have a big room with lots of blinking lights and sort of,

and it's a reek of cigarette smoke that mainly exists for middle-aged men to scream at each other in it? And they'd be mad that a woman is there for the first time. There's a weird undercurrent in this movie. Everyone's just like, and what if a woman's in the workplace? What did? You get the sense they invented women about 20,

minutes before this movie started filming. Because everyone is just like, and they're letting women do it now as well. About every job. It's so funny. Sometimes there's not even a woman present. They just speculate like, oh, I hope it's not. One role you know is a man going to, like, you know, do something. They're like, okay, well, that cop's down there.

So, okay, good. What if it's a woman? Never then addressed. Whole fucking transal authority of just men being like, or she, or she. just catching themselves constantly. These days, it would be like, or they? Like, that's what they. I hope that cop down there isn't non-binary.

They're non-binary. They won't do it. They won't. They won't take the shot. We cut across town and we meet our protagonist to this movie and they don't let actors who look like this be in movies anymore. They don't let them brown.

Walter Mathau baby. Yeah, this is Lieutenant Zach Garber of the New York Transport City Authority cop. So you'd say it's sorted. He just looks like a normal guy. He looks like a fucking snoopy-ass dog. He's like a jowly motherfucker, right? Yeah.

Love him so much. Bright yellow tie. Yeah. Brayel tie on a flannel shirt. There's some guys from the Tokyo subway who were being shown around. And then he gets stuck being their chaperone basically. And the joke is that they don't speak English, we assume. And he's just like, you guys don't understand what I'm saying, do you?

Ah, fuck, all right. Whatever. I'll give you the tour. Yeah. He's wandering around showing them this stuff. I love him so much. This is, of course, he's a lieutenant of the New York Transit Police. This was before they folded that back into the NYPD and it all became one thing.

So a lot of this movie is rivalry between the two police forces that arguably have jurisdiction over it. Yeah, I couldn't really understand that because, like, later on the cops call the cops and I'm like, what? What? Yeah, it's really good. You're just calling yourself? Yeah, the NYPD has been very slowly swallowing agencies whole for like 100 years. just like it used to be a smaller thing and just keeps eating other city agencies

and now the transit cops are a part of the NYPD but for a long time it was just like that's why there's so few they have like literally like a light on a map for every single cop that's in the subway system that they have that the MTA has because it's like well we only have so many because we don't really

I would put cops in the subway that's crazy single fucking LEDs there's like 25 of them on a big map of New York and now it's like you would have that in one single station now pushing them around a big board like Churchill. Yeah, you need 45 guys standing by on a card table playing fucking Candy Crush at all hours of the day.

Well, speaking of the New York City Transit Police, we are brought into a room that Lieutenant Zach Garber refers to as the Noyves Center of the New York City subway. This is so beautiful. This is the other best part, of course, of the movie is also New Yorkers don't talk like that quite so much anymore as much as they used to. Yeah, the historical accents are really nice.

I love all of these strong New York accents that we get in this. There's a guy called Casman. Dollowicz, who plays a major role early on, who is the perfect guy to me. The guys run out the Russian hat. I love him so much. Yeah. Again, it's that old thing of do you want to know Kazdollowitz? Not particularly, but is it delightful to hear him talk? Absolutely. You need him on that wall. You need him in that tiny room of blinking lights. Like, I'm not going to fucking do it. I don't want to talk to him, but I need him in there. You need someone who is so cantankerous and cranky that he just watched.

to his own death out of pure spite. Kees Dullwitz, who also earlier before he dies, says the word Turlet, to refer to a toilet. He does, yes. I do know a guy in New York who does have that same accent, and he runs a deli, and, like, is very loud and boyish-tress, and it's also very possibly an egg. Whoa. I mean, I know 45 guys with this accent, and they're all in my family. So... It's beautiful.

It's great. Because if they've never really escaped having it. Of course, of transit police and the Tokyo Metro guys are being shown around and our fellow goes. The course of a normal white week, the average T.A. policeman deals with such crimes as robbery, assault, murder, drunkenness, illness, vandalism, misogas, abusiveness, sexual molestation. And they leave in the room as he says that. You get the impression he just keep. going on with it. Because the joke is nothing happens on the fucking subway.

Everyone in that room is doing nothing. They're just reading the newspaper. Like, nothing really happens except small-time stuff. Yeah, including young Jerry Stiller. Including fucking young Jerry Stiller. Who's like, who like will not say hi to them? He's like, I'm busy. He's reading the newspaper.

He's at work. Do not bother him. There's one guy who's just like leaning back and like fucking drawing on his mug. And as they go past, I was like, here's our artist in residence. to the Tokyo fantastic so good

down in the tunnel the robbers the robbers stop the train and they split the front carriage off from the rest of it and then like

separate it by a little bit and the passengers are still like whatever like it's New York City like we see Spider Man every day like we don't give a shit right

that's right so they they then like take out some big fucking guns and Mr. Blue threatens them all in his English accent and I love that

all the people in this if we can't just laugh at him yeah like it's really good. You're doing what? Yeah.

It's like, come out, man. You're hijacking a subway train? It's on a track, brother. They know where it's, where it is. Yeah. This one doesn't even leave,

this one, I mean, it goes to the Bronx, but the track it's on doesn't even leave Manhattan. It just goes to South Ferry and stops. It's like goes down

and then there's a loop. You go fly it away, like, but they're pretty serious. And so Mr. Blue tells the conductor, right, walk back to the other nine cars,

collect the passengers, and fuck off. You guys are, you have a note from your mom that says you don't have to be involved in hostage situation today. It's just the people, like these 20 people in this front car,

you're now motherfucking hostages. And one of the hostages does try it on as well and goes like, can I go as well? I've got like a really important appointment. And he goes, no. And she goes, ah, shit, she goes,

she goes, she's back out defeated. She's trying to go to work. That was my best plan was to say, excuse me. Can I leave as well, please? Everybody.

You can just leave the hostage situation if you want. Hit the bricks. What are they going to do? Well, I was going to say, I just love the guy who's like, who asks like what they're doing and they're like, we're not going to tell you. And the train separates it.

He's just standing in the doorway, like looking at it, go away to sort of like, fucking all right, man. Like everyone's so unfazed. It's so funny. He tells them nothing will happen as long as you obey my orders. And the, the homo, the gay guy from the start, says, that's what they said in Vietnam, which is interesting.

And then Waingrove racially abuses him and hits him. And it's like, I'm racist, I'm a racist, I'm going to hit you. And we get a nice moment later on where Mr. Blue is like, hey man, we don't do that. And Waingroro is like,

hey man, I do. Fuck you. Yeah. I'm the way. I'm Waingo. That's not how we operate here. We're just taking hostages. We're not racist.

We're just violent armed criminals. We're not like, fucking racist or anything or homophobic or anything like that. Yeah. And now is the time. They've got everyone ready. They're in the car. It's time to let the boys know that they've taken the subway car.

If I may jump in, though, there's a little bit of something here that happens, which is one of my other favorite exchanges, which is in the control room and Grand Central and the noise set up. The Grand Central Tower. Yeah. Exactly. Before they realize what's, before they realize that the train's been taken, there is, and again, this is something that a lot of. of sort of more modern movies that won't do. They won't accept this level of pacing of just like five to seven minutes of why isn't the train moving.

Can someone go find out why the train's moving? Call the motorman. I'm at work. I'm going to fire him. You know, flush his head down the toilet and so on and so on. Turlet. And this is again, and this is where we get like Kaz Dahlowitz going from Grand Central Tower to like the Noive Center.

Yeah. Where he also, again, says the line, when they're like, hey, can you? Stop swearing. I love this line so much. Yeah, oh, I don't have it. I don't have it say it. Okay. Oh, come on.

If I got to watch my language just because they let a few broads in, I'm going to quit. How the hell can you run a goddamn railroad without swearing? Exactly, though. So good. You can't not. I'm a memorable character. Get attached to me. I'm going to be in the whole of the rest of the movie.

You can be sure of that. Hey, and don't forget to join me, Cass Dahlowitz, in The Taking of Pelham 1, 2,000. three, two. He's going to go and sort the situation out the way he's sorted every situation he's ever come across out. He's going to go down there and yell at them. He's going to march towards them yelling.

Yeah. We're going to do a Joey-style spin-off, a Kaz Dahlowitz loyering to accept his female callie. In the Kaz Dahlowitz prequel series. Yeah. Well, hey, hey, my name is Cash Dahlowitz. Welcome to win in the most amount of money you could win in 1970. $600.

Oh, life-changing amount of money. Cass Dolowitz, by the, he's complaining about there being a woman in the switchboard room with him. And after something terrible happens to Kaz later, spoilers. After that, she ably and handily takes over his role just like completely for the rest of the movie. And they don't like highlight it or anything. Well, he's mad at her because she lost her wedding ring down the turlet. Yeah. Yeah, she's the one who lost her wedding ring down the tour and they're like,

We had broads in here for 10 minutes and already the turning into the pandemonium. I mean, to stick with Kaz, he heads down to the tunnel and he encounters the conductor and the other passages coming the other way. And he still doesn't really know what's going on. He still doesn't stop. He tells the conductor off for like not going down with the ship and starts walking towards the hostage situation. I don't care what weapons they had.

You're like a captain. You've got to go down with the ship. His elbowing is way through the crowd of hostages going the other direction in the tunnel. They're like, you don't want to go down there, man. And he's like, oh, you don't know what I can do. One of them is like, I'm going to sue you. And he's like yelling at the monoway pass, but he still finds the time to insert in the middle of that.

Watch the third rail. It's over there on the left. Perfect guy. That'll come up later. Goodbye. That'll come up later. What is it? Hey, why do we, you'll pay your 35 cents.

What do you want us to save your life? I've got that. Holy shit. Grote of goddamn fashion. What the hell I expected that lousy $35 cents? I live forever. Yeah. Do you guys know what the subway calls now?

three American dollars. Can you believe it? That's crazy. Cheaper than the tube. Yeah, the tube is cheaper than the tube. That's true. The tube is absolutely fucking ridiculous. Yeah.

The overground, especially about it. Out here in L.A., like you can get public transport right across the sea for like $1.75. It's so cheap. Isn't a subway free there? Am I making that up? Have I invented a memory? No, there's somebody who wants to make it free, but it's like basically free. Also, a lot of the time you get on the bus here and they're just like, yeah, whatever,

I'm not charging you today. He's like, all right. Cool. This is Los Angeles. This is a bus. The bus here is kind of similar. You can just kind of get on the bus. Yeah.

It's nice. You kind of do like do the finger guns at the bus driver. I mean, the subway is also free if you simply jump the turnstown, which I do not recommend doing it. We need to avoid the 45 off duty calls, but good news, they're not looking up.

They're looking at their phones. That's right. Well, they're trying to avoid a taking a Pelham 1, 2, 3 situation. Hey, are you going to take Pelham 1, 2, 3? No, it's about, it's 1125 of the morning. It'd be Pelham 1,125. Yeah.

Yeah, that's actually something that they make sure to say, say is that all of the cars are named after the time that they leave. And the place that they leave from. The place that from. During the hostage taking, you do get a beautiful multicultural moment where there is a Spanish language speaker who doesn't understand English. It's like, look, if you're taking hostages in big 2026, you've got to have at least Spanish language translation.

Yeah. I'm getting mad at my hostage takers because they don't have a BSL interpreter. I'm like, oh, you don't have like sign language for my hostages? Like, come on. Yeah. It's like, I don't know what's going on. I can't tell. So this is not a very inclusive hostage situation.

That was actually a really beautiful New York City moment to me. Yeah. It was beautiful. I love it so much. Back to the Noive Center. Yeah. Mr. Blue calls the Noive Center and he's like, hello, I'm the train master.

Hello, train master. You're the train master. I'm the English hostage taker. I'm Count Benface and I want... See if you can solve my train puzzle. You may remember me from the movie Jaws or possibly the sting. He kind of does sound like Count Binface. He's like, hell out.

But he's like, look, I want a million dollars. We've got these sausages. You have one hour. And for every minute that you are late, I will execute one hostage. And that is also how I react when my train is late. Also, like, that means they have 20 minutes until they're like, well, we're out of hostages.

Yeah. Yeah. What do you do at that point? It's like, well, we start killing ourselves. I guess, yeah, that's what you're going to do. In 24 minutes, situations resolved itself one way or the other. I guess we could vandalize the train maybe. I would start with that.

During this, Garber is still got the fucking Tokyo subway guys coming with him, but he like realizes halfway through the hostage taking speech, and he's like, oh shit, get these fucking guys out of here. He doesn't call them fucking guys. Frank Correll refers to them as Chinaman, and he says fucking monkeys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He does. Rich.

They do get richly. But then also we get the punchline of the joke, which is they're all like, oh, I'm so sorry, left time, we'll get out of your hair. And it's like, we'll take ourselves up. Don't worry about it. Most informative tour. And it's like his, his face, he's got such a command of his face in this fucking movie. You see him like realize everything. When they hit you with such a train phobic statement, you got to give him that Walter Mathau stare. Trainsphobic, trainsphobic, trainsphobic. Trainsphobic. Trainsphobic. Transphobic. Transphobic. Transphobic. Transphobic. Transphobic. Transphobic. Transphobic. Fly the train's flag, yeah. He does have a theory, though, about this guy. Well, a guy who's talking,

he's got a heavy English accent. He could be a fruitcake. It could just be insane. Yeah, but they can't figure out why they're doing this. In fact, Zach even tells Mr. Blue on the radio, he's like, you're in a tunnel. Like, what are you going to do? Like, how do you think this is going to work?

And he's like, don't worry about that. Just get me my money. It's like, okay. Mr. Blue is loving it for this opening statement, the bit where he's talking to Frank. Corel and he goes, I've taken, your train has been taken. He like smiles to himself. He's having a wonderful time.

He's aura farming for the entire hostage situation. We see him later on and he's just sitting back doing crosswords. He's just doing crosswords in that room. He brought those with him. Fantastic. But they, because of this, they immediately go, holy shit, we got to get Kaz back. We've got to pull Kaz back. So they reach out to someone else who's on the platform.

our SWAT team of yelling guy. He might not be able to yell them down on this one. They call the other guy who's on the platform, a fellow by a name of patrolman James. And they go, please follow him in and get him back. And James nearly gets to him. James, who is a MTA cop and not a city cop, crucially, right? Yes.

So he is less of a cycle. Yeah, he's a normal type guy. Yes. But meanwhile, Carr turns up at the hostage situation, he turns up at the hostage situation like George Galloway with like pasties in a fishing rod and he like he yells at them

that's a deep cut for people from England he yells at them and then the waingrower Mr. Gray is just like damn that's crazy how about I yell back at you with my gun

and only knows one very loud word bang yeah nothing arrests Kaz's forward momentum until the bullets hit he's being yelled at by a guy with a gun and he does not stop striding forwards

God damn it it's great it's like if we can read the um the uh sort of one of the monologues from early and gladiator which is if you find yourself suddenly alone stomping through a field with the sun on your face yelling at nobody then you are in elisium and you're already dead you're in the bad old days of new york city i yeah this is just i mean this is that was the 70s i believe yeah i'm saying this is the 70s this is what we

referred to as for a long time in the early 2000s people were referred to this as the battle days here. The sort of time where my father recounts telling me as a young man he once found a corpse in the fucking vestibule of a chalk full of nuts coffee. It's just sort of how things were. Palham, by the way,

the ancestral homeland of my family. So I feel very close to the train and what happens to it in the movie. But one of the key demands here, let's us bring our two dear friends in. He says, tell the mayor we want one million dollars.

in one hour. And then we get our mayor. I hope he's not sleepy. Our mayor sadly has the flu. Much like our fearless leader in November, our mayor is in bed going, I don't want to do it. I'm the only poisted not wanting to be at work right now.

Really good New York mayor moment. The establishment shot is just like a shot at Gracie Mansion and him going, I'm the goddamn mayor of the goddamn city of New York. The second most important thing and the second most important office in the country and I'm sick like any other guy. You telling me, I just got to sweat it out.

I mean, I mean, also the, like, again, fundamentally, right, the taking of Pelham, one, two, three is a movie where everybody yells at each other except for Robert Shaw. Yes. Right. And the mayor is one calm English guy. Everybody else is yelling at each other. The power of being Sigma. And the mayor at this point is yelling at his doctor who's like, you have to, you have to rest. It's like, I want to watch TV.

All the way. Oh, you're making me, you're making me miss Danuliwed game. Even though he's like in bed like wearing like a sleeping cap, like he's like Hong Shoe-moated, but he's still screaming in everybody, which I really love. He's like, he's, um, his attending physician is a black lady who would later on is going to get her hand slapped by the mayor's aid, which I do not like. This woman is not your woman. Yeah, just the kind of casual misogyny and the fucking casual misogenoire in this movie is not great. It's a deputy mayor Warren LaSalle absolutely someone who would be like spot welded to a Democratic Congress seat fully yeah no this is such a guy.

Deputy Mayor Warren LaSalle 40 years later is being like weekend at Bernies by his like yeah by his younger age. Right like this guy's he's voting he's voting for like welfare reform in 1998 yeah like as the representative for like Harlem in the South Bronx absolutely yes 100 percent this is this is like This is one of the best portrayals of the early career of an establishment Democrat before everyone decided what an establishment Democrat was. Savvy political operator, deputy mayor, Warren LaSalle, who's just like, I don't care how sick you are, Mr. Mayor.

We have to get you out in front of the crowds. You have to make the decision. I got a line here he goes. You're the mayor. The buck stops with you. Oh, shit. God helps. Because he tells us.

Like, look, Mr. Mayor, armed men have taken a subway train and they won a million dollars. You're paying them. Take as long as you need to decide that you're paying them, but we're paying them. Yeah, I mean, this is honestly, I will say, a really good depiction of like actually, another good thing about this movie besides everyone being at work to me, is that it actually is a pretty good depiction of like the snarl of New York City politics and municipal power and how it is applied and how it works, which is until fairly recently and still kind of true and like it's basically, a thing that we're trying to get over right now is that the mayor as a position in New York City actually doesn't hold that much power and mostly exists as a person for various stakeholders to yell at.

Yes. Like it seems more important than it is. It is actually a machine that kind of runs itself. And then you just kind of put a guy there to get ritually murdered every like they're, they're just doing, he's the omelash child for municipal politics, basically. And if you, yeah, that's, that's it. It's just like, but this idea that like, the mayor is just some sleepy guy in bed that you yell at. Like, the decision's been made.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. This is one of my favorite lines is, uh, is like, uh, we're trying to run a city, not a democracy. Yeah, exactly. Because he doesn't want to make the choice. He's still demurring. He's like, get me the fucking chairman of a transit authority.

Get me the chief of police. Get me the fucking comptroller. Get me Bradlander. Now bring him in here. And, and, like, Deputy Mayor Warren is like, okay, fine. I'll get there on their way already. But they're only going to tell you. but it's your decision.

I mean, the mayor being, like, so sick he can barely stand up is a wonderful, very obvious metaphor for New York in the 19th. What? I mean, this is also,

this is also post like Ford to City drop dead time. Like, this is like, the city is dying. Meanwhile, in the Noyve Center, Zach gets the news that there is an undercover cop

somewhere on the train, which is a great, like suspenseful little bit and he's like I hope it's not a dame I hope it's not a dame I hope they don't have fucking blue hair and pronouns they all like scare themselves

with the thought but it might be a woman undercover cop Oh no but they're like well what's one cop gonna do any down there anyway even if they are especially if they're a woman Yeah mean even if he is a big beautiful man of eight feet

Paul or meet a bar with rippling muscles I don't know if he could even do anything against four automatic weapons. Automatic weapons. Sorry, I'm just inventing new kinds of New York access. Disrespectful to my people. The shadow of women hang over the taking of Pelham, one, two, three. There could be women anywhere.

This is where we now come to understand they have filled that fucking tunnel with cops. Yeah, every cop in the world is that. And the NYC, the proper one, has shown up and they have done what they do best, which is deploy 300, other fuckers with guns to go like really nervously fiddle with them. Yeah, they've sent the NYPD's famous standing around response group to go stand around. Oh boy, I wish we had something that could occupy us more than this pocket abacus.

They mentioned really early on here that there's at least nine snipers scoped. God damn it. Oh, yeah. Do the riff. I'm playing chess by postcard. They got snipers in there. Snifers scoped in. So you're like, for the rest of this movie,

just remember that there are like 11 guys with the itchiest trigger fingers in the world on their radio going, let me take the shot. Please let me take the shot. I've got a shot. Let me take it. With night scopes. And Charlie is in between them being like,

please let the NYPD know that I am, I am down here. I am, also I'm a black guy and I have a gun, but don't kill me. I'm a cop. Like, yeah, it's good. Yeah, I get, because another huge part of this movie is like, and the first act is a lot of people being like, I'm at Woik. Why are you bothering me at WIC? And then the second act, as a lot of people

being like, we're all at WIC, but we all have to tell each other what other people have said and telephone chains are like four people long at every end. There's a lot of conference calls at the end of this movie. There's a lot of Walter Mather like flipping switches and being like, so that's what they said to me. I'm saying it to you now. It's great. Love it. Mr. Blue claims to be a mercenary of some conservative. We get a little bit of Mr. Blue's backstory. Yeah, and Mr. Green is an ex-subway driver who got fired for smuggling drugs. But he maintains that he was framed for it.

Yeah, they used Mr. Green to move the train earlier on, rather than just like get the driver to do it at gunpoint, but whatever. Mr. Green is clearly a train guy. We see him interacting with the motorman and the conductor. He clearly very deeply knows what all of their jobs consist of. He's like very kind about it. He starts trying to talk to. the conductor about what he got cited for when he was,

like, Mr. Blue's like, yes, go on Mr. Green and tell him everything about you. Again, one of the things about New Yorkers is that they will, they do love to talk about they don't love to talk to strangers, but they do love to share a bellyache. Green comes in to check on Blue and Blue is doing his crossword puzzle and he goes, can you please stay out there? Like, just I don't want to leave the other two alone with the hostages. And Green's like, well, don't you trust Brown and Gray? And he's like, I trust Brown.

Mr. Gray is 100% the Wayne Grove. We need to keep an eye on this guy. He says, that's why they threw him out of the mafia. And I'm like, I didn't realize the mafia had HR like that. What do you have to do? Also, I didn't realize you could get kicked out of the mafia alive. Like, I didn't realize you could just get fired. Fill up your box, empty your desk.

What's the very narrow offense that you committed the mafia to get, kicked out but not killed. Time theft. You have to... Taxes? Yeah, yeah. He's just claiming a lot of overtime, this guy. He's shitting a lot on company time, yeah. He was fabricating his punch cards. The coffee is an

honor system. I think if you are not a maid man, but like an associate, they could just be like, we don't want you around no more, Vinny. He doesn't know too much. He's just annoying. Yes. Hit the bricks, pal. He made inferior meatballs or something, but yeah, all right.

And so anyways, Zaiiariariah. calls them and he's like, hey, we're going to give you a million dollars. So Mr. Blue is like, great, cool. I want it in like 50s and hundreds. I want old bills. I want random serial numbers, big rubber bands. I want, I want like flowers in my dressing room. I want all the M&Ms that

are blue removed from the bowl. And you've got 26 minutes, so we're going to kill all the hostages, right? And he's like, oh, shit, okay. He's like, 26 minutes is not enough time. And he's like, you'd be surprised what is possible with enough time pressure. He also tells us the hostages, like, hey, good news. Like, they're going to pay a ransom. And one of them is like, can I ask?

How much we're worth just out of interest? And it goes like, it's a million dollars. And he's like, no, no, no, all together. He's like, oh. Yeah, he's like, it's not so fantastic. The old Yiddish man asks about this. I love this guy so much. He's always talking shit in there.

Like, there's a bit where they announced for their hostages. And he goes like, what did you think? Guests? It's like, man, you're in the hostage situation too. Meanwhile, up in the Neuves center, Zach figures something out. He's like, hang on a minute. They moved the train early run. so there must be somebody down there

who knows how to drive a train. We should look up all the train drivers who recently got fired and therefore might be somewhat disgruntled. And I don't know. This proves to be correct in the longer, but I think it's quite a leap considering that they took the driver hostage. They could have just been forced him to do it, whatever. I guess he's

gotten back to them by this point. No train driver would allow themselves to move a train under duress. They would abandon the train, yes. But they love the train. And they would never do something like that to the train. What this movie loves is pairs of cops. And we have a beautiful pair of cops here. Because they have to be drift compatible with the train.

These are the morose cops who have to transport the cash from the bank to the subway. And they're both just fair going, you know it's going to be our ass if anything happens, right? I will also say this is part of the movie, I'm going insane because whenever I watch any movie set in New York, I'm always very, very attuned to the geography. And if they're getting it correct, you know, you watch Escape from New York and they talk about the 69th Street Bridge. I'm like tearing my hair out, whatever. But this movie, it's a really good grasp on New York City geography. And everyone does say like, oh, it's not enough time.

And I'm thinking they're being like, it's like four miles from the Federal Reserve to where they are underground. Just four miles driving. That's crazy to go that. Like, the subway would not be that fast, you know? Yeah. So I'm going nuts.

Like, they've really fucked it. Well, so, like, well, so Mr. Green says to Mr. Boo, it's not enough time. You should give them two hours. And Mr. Blue is like, well, you know the way this thing works. If you give them two hours, they take two hours. Give him one hour, take one out. Like, I've got places to be, man.

Like, what shit to do? He's not, he's not from around here. It isn't now. He's not, yeah, he's not. Yeah, it's shit, right? He's like, look, they will get it done in an hour if you tell them but it has to be done in an hour. He also tells off Mr. Gray.

He's like, Mr. Gray, stop being away and grow. And Mr. Gray hits him with a Duke, with a Duke nuke him. He's like, blow it out your ass. And we get this, like, failed standoff where Mr. Blue's like, I once had a man shot for talking to me like that. And Mr. Gray is like, I don't give a fuck. Like, I do my own killing. Like, fuck you.

That's the difference between us. I do my own killing. I'm Waynegrove, Morty. We'll settle this in the third act. Yeah. Why do you got to have a wangrow on every crew? It seems self-defeating. It's the fucking international brotherhood of wangroes.

They need one on every fucking heist team. What leverage are they exerting? They're going to go on. It's like, you need one guy there. Who's about to blow up the entire arrangement? If you don't have one, they're going to do like an ins- The Wangro union is going to do an inspection,

and those inspections never go smoothly. They take, like, any amount of money you get from a hostage situation. If you don't have a Wayne-Grow, they just take it. I was actually, I was in a hostage situation that went so smoothly. Like, there was actually no problems at all, and everyone got the money,

and everyone was alive and whatever, but there was a big inflatable rat outside of it the whole time. And pick a line of Wain-Groes. There should be a Wain-Row here. This should have gone badly. That's delightful. What do you mean it didn't go sideways?

What are you talking about? They paid the money and you just made a clean getaway and all the hostages are fine? The fuck are we doing here? Was anyone wearing a hockey mask? No? What? Nobody was a Nazi?

Nobody randomly racially abused to the hostages. Nobody was referring to the women as like 20 cent hookers. They've all got fucking signs of fair practices. Honestly, honestly, like, you don't want to be a wang grow, but it's the best health insurance in the entire industry. You got to pay in. It's like a year of waingrowing before you can get your card.

Yeah, yeah. Honestly, just do six months of wain growing and then put in immediately for like hacker, you know. They're the only ones that cover gender affirming care as well. That's why there are so many trans waingrows out there. Honestly, it's an incredibly powerful union. It's almost as big as the international brotherhood of steam and smoke and sparks and water barrels and sand barrels and allied trades. Carrying big sheets of glass across the street.

The little market stalls that always they crashed into during a chase. Yeah, with cabbages and shit. This is why that movie Inside Man, right? Like, that's why it's considered to be a scab film. Exactly. There's no Wayne Gros inside, man. There's no Wayne Gros. But all Wayne Gros and baby driver.

Now, Garvall manages to argue him down to the deadline being the money arriving at the station instead of getting to him. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Because the cops crash the car and they're like, shit, the money's going to be delayed. Yeah. And we get a beautiful little Columbus egg moment where a guy that we haven't introduced, a man called Chief Inspector Daniels. Fantastic guy, wonderful fellow. He's just on the platform with a cigar the whole time talking at the radio.

Never not smoking a cigar. He goes, well, how, if, I mean, if they know the things flipped over, how are they going to hold us to the original deadline? And Agaba's like, they don't know any, how are they supposed to know anything from down there? Holy fuck, I can lie. They just immediately hits the radio and goes, yeah, the money's here. It's here. It'll be there a second. It's made it here.

Absolutely. It's within like 50 seconds of them executing the first hostage. Which we can see that, like, Mr. Blue is stealing himself to do. After he does the holy shit, I can just lie moment, the money finally does get there. I'll do the little mayor thing first. Because the deputy mayor has persuaded the mayor to come down there to do a little speech or something. And he's like, I'll just get booed. And we don't see the speech.

We don't hear anything. We just stick with the cops and they hear this. Jesus, it's the goddamn mayor. It cuts away. We don't get any of it. We're just like, yeah, he got booed. Yeah. There's also a bit where the cops are like talking about the mayor coming.

and they're like, we'll hold the crowd for him. So good. There's also a bit when they make that, when they like get the green light to pay them, the head of the police gets on the phone to the cop down there and goes, we've gotten the green light and they're like, and he's like, fantastic. The boy's been begging me to start shooting. And he's like, no, no, no, no, I got the green light to pay him. And also, here's my question also. Why are you set, there's all the, there's the motorcycle escorts for the car going uptown with the money?

Yeah. Why not put the money on the motorcycle? They don't figure that out until they flip the car. the first time. Yeah. So good. They do ultimately get there themselves. This is one of the principles of Montessori policing is you have to let

let them make the mistakes themselves. Ever since they switched my city to a Montessori police department, every time there's a problem. We're getting thrown. Fresh loaves of bread are being thrown at me because it's all the cops know what we do. Well, it's like the thing is, it's not really a. about getting direct result. It's about what kind of cops will they grow into

and will they have like curiosity of mind? You know, it's about instilling those qualities from an early age like 35. Because the police brain has a very high level of neuroplasticity for a much longer period of time. But the money gets there and I do appreciate about the money

but it's in a big fucking like brown Hessian sack that says like money on it. It's a federal reserve, I think. It has a dollar sign on it? Yeah, it's good. I literally exclaimed, we used to build things in this country. We used to fucking build. Like, the two cops get access to the gain control of the bag of money.

And they're like, that's a million dollars. Everyone's like, it's what it buys, not what it weighs. They're disappointed in the weight of the thing. But they start to bring it down. The instructions are very specific. You've got to walk down the track with the money. There's two of you. One of you has the money.

The other has a flashlight and he's moving it side to side. And as they are approaching, someone. We'll never know who it was. Monovo snipers gets an issue trigger finger and fires and hits Mr. Brown in the arm and that unleashes pandemonium.

Everyone starts shooting. That unleashes the wanegrove because Mr. Gray just fucking starts firing everywhere into the tunnel and just like sprays everything. And nobody gets killed. Yeah.

But Mr. Blue says, Yeah. Mr. Blue says, we can't let this go unanswered. He goes, we'll have to kill one of them. Yeah. It says to the

Dr. Hey man, walk down the track and just pick up the money, will you? Yeah, just let us know when the money's coming. What? And it's like, I can hear the soundtrack of the movie. Like, I know something bad's about. Everyone in that car knows that this man is about to be killed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so clear to everyone.

So they sent him down the tunnel and then fucking gun him down. They kill him. They're like, don't fuck with us. Mr. Blue kills him himself and then turns and Sigma faces directly at Mr. Gray. As if to be like, I do my own killing two. Mitch And meanwhile up in the

in the noive center They're like Oh no We just lost one of the hostages And then like Where's this secret cop This undercover cop What are they doing?

It's like ah What chance do they have Especially if it's a fucking dame Is this a dame Is this when Matho punches the other guy Is that late? Yeah it is yeah We goes

I'm not helping out The killers of Kaz Dahlowling Yeah the guy that we I don't think we've mentioned him Is like the guy who controls The railway Yeah yeah The Lord Byron

Of the New York City subway On a podcast microphone with a big he's got a big podcast microphone he's got a big switchboard and he's in charge of all the railway and the whole time they're trying to start out

the hostage situation I assume he's running the rest of the trains he is yeah I mean I assume this is why they picked the six train but a little New York City subway fact is that the sixth train

is very very isolated compared to the other trains in Manhattan it's like kind of there's like no other trains on the east side oh I see so the rest of the subway system

has to be running perfectly fine. So he's just over there like running the subway, I assume. And he's just screaming like, hey, it's just no way to run a railroad. And he, yeah, and he yells at him and he fucking grabs him and he throws him to the ground. And he's like, listen to be,

you dumb son of a bitch. If you don't help me out, you're going to be having dinner tonight where Kazdalowitz. And he chucks him to the ground. That sounds good. He's a charming dinner companion. Very racist, but we'll get over it. And the money makes it

to the car. The robbers stash it on their persons. They have special vests that they just put the bills in. Yeah, suddenly we see why they have the specificity on the bundle size as they've all got pockets sewn into all of our outfits that hold a specific amount of money. Exactly 18 bundles each. They've pre-split it.

They figured out how many bundles, one million in these hundreds would be and have already pre-split it out. So there's no argument. You've thought of everything. Mr. Blue even lets Mr. Gray load up first as a sign of like, We're all on the same page here. And something else that Mr. Blue does, he begins drinking. Yes, he does.

He goes into the cab and cracks a little tiny bottle of whiskey. Yeah. That's probably good, right? Just cracking a monster. Yeah. I think it's time to get loose. Definitely. You know what?

Five o'clock somewhere, right? You're out of danger as far as I can tell. Celebrate, you know? Just spend a million dollars today at work, honey. It's great. The money changes things so clearly, right? When it pours out onto the ground, like they hold on it. And like we get like close ups of everyone's face looking at it.

Even even a bunch of the hostages just be like, holy shit, that's a million dollars right there. That's like $20 million in today money. Yeah. Blue calls Zach and he's like, right, okay, next phase. Turn the power back on. I want green signals all the way down to the end of the track. Get all the cops out of the way. And it's like, and Zach's like, okay, I mean, I'll tell everybody.

But like, what the fuck is your plan, man? Like the track only goes one place. Like we know where you're going to be. And also we could track the train. He's like, don't worry about that. It's like, why don't you let me worry about that train master? You're paying me a million dollars to worry about it. I did really enjoy his recasting as Vincent Price in the end.

I just like the trade master. Fuck, what happens next? Hang on. So, Zach is talking to the other cops. And he's like, well, well, it's one of the other cops. who's like, well, what are they, what they're clearly going to do is set the train rolling.

Oh, yeah. Jump off. And then slip out of an emergency exit. And then, and then Zach is like, well, they can't do that because there's a dead man switch. Like somebody has to be able to hold down

the fucking go button. Otherwise, they're not going to go anywhere. It's like, you can't just put a weight on it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the robbers have thought of this.

They've rigged a fucking doohickey on the outside of the train to beat the dead man switch. And they do exactly this. They leap off the train and then run into a slide exit. Yeah. This movie has exactly one

problem, which is that I wish, I wish they'd showed the operation of the doohickey. Yeah. They are so vague about the doohickey and you can't help but feel that it's the most on purpose thing in the world. It is. And was. Yeah, exactly. Like, just like, you can't show them how to get around the Dead Man Switch.

It's like, it's in completely the wrong place. They all go outside and do something around like the wheels as well. And the device that we see is just like a couple of lengths of pipe. It's so, so vague. Yeah, I would have invented like a 200 pound weight on the button. Yeah. I would have put something on it. It would have been tough to haul a 200-pound weight down into the subway, though.

Roybiz will never come up with our weight technology. Wait a minute, no, hang on. You've already got a corpse in the tunnel. Put the corpse on the dead man switch. It's got to be pushing is the thing. Oh, I guess. And also some of them, one of the passengers could take it off. But anyway, the passengers are panicking because I stuck on a speeding train, right?

At this point the undercover cop finally reveals himself. I guess we don't know that pronouns. It could be like reveals gender neutral femself. Officer, officer sock reveals themselves. He's like surpo-moding. He's undercover long hair, big mustache poncho. He jumps off the train and goes after them. They're like, oh, it's the undercover cop.

They've revealed themselves and it's like, was more than one of them? No, it's only one. It's a non-binary cop. Oh, man. This is where Mr. Blue makes a mistake. Mr. Brown notices this guy roll off the back of the tray and flags it up. And Mr. Gray goes, we should go back and check that out just to make sure that wasn't a person.

And Mr. Blue is like, eh. No, it's beer o'clock, actually. Yeah. It's beer o'clock, baby. Yeah. It's probably fine. It's probably fine. It's a great thing to say in a robbery.

That's a good point, Trainmaster. Unfortunately, it's Miller time. So I'm out of it. The robbers remove their hats and they're, mustachees, which turned out to be fake. They changed their coat because they brought like a change of clothes. They will, they all like change into a different country outfit. To reveal Hawaiian shirts underneath.

They tear up their own coats. We're on island time now, boys. Margaritaville starts playing. It's more thought of everything stuff here because blue is like moustaches, hot, reverse coats. Like it's really good. Swap hats. Swat hats.

Like they all swap to a different hats. It's very military and we, I think, learn it one. point that he was a colonel in the military. He's a soldier of fortune. Hand over your guns and Mr. Gray won't give up his gun. So Mr. Blue's like, well, in that case, I will use my... It's in my way, grow contract. I never have to be disarmed.

I will use my gun and shoots him dead. Yeah, he hits him with the blow it out your ass line again. Yeah. He says, you already said that one. And get shut. How about I blow it out of your ass? They shoot him. They hit him right in the chest over the heart.

And they immediately strip it. I was saving for the ass. I was trying to shoot him in the ass. I thought it'd be funny. I don't know. They strip all of this guy's money out except for right above his heart. There is one wad of cash

that has blood stain on it. And they all leave that. Smart. I'll leave this for a second. The undercover cop, meanwhile, shoots Mr. Brown dead. So now we're down to two. And Mr. Green runs

while Mr. Blue is like, right, I'm going to have a kind of like duel in the tunnel with the undercover cop. Go ahead, Green. We'll meet up. where we agreed to. And he goes back in.

Mr. Green, on the way out, takes the blood-stained money. Shunna-da-na. Symbolic. Shunna-da-na. That's him accepting the life of violence. That's why he deserves

to get caught at the end. Spoilers. But our Mr. For five minutes from now. Blue wins. Spoilers, they don't get away with it. Yeah. Blue does go down there and shoots him

and is about to give him the execution. Asks if they're a cop, the fellow nods And he goes like, very good, the mayor will attend your funeral. That's so hard. It sucks and everyone hates, but you'll be dead so you can't boo. It'll be a booneral.

Hope you're ready for a terrible political rally at your funeral. But then Garber has figured it out in the car with Daniels earlier on. He's gone, holy shit, that's the nugget of the idea for why they did this. They figured out how to beat the Dead Man switch when they did that weird maneuver. they were getting out like you said. There's a doo-hiki. They've got to have a fucking do-hiky. Also this whole time, the passengers have been in the screaming train,

and the old Yiddish guy is like, don't worry, the red lights will make us stop. I love that guy so much. He's like, they're all good. The homo, I believe, goes, they're all green. Just one problem, darling. They're all green. But Garber has made it down there,

and he takes a very long walk-up to the, please drop your gun line. He goes, excuse me, Mr. If you wouldn't mind putting your hands on your head, turn it around. He goes in through, by the way, an emergency exit that I recognize the exact location of. Oh, wow.

Just like a second, seconds after Mr. Green has left that emergency exit and got in the way. They get back then. This is the hardest shit in the entire world. Yeah, yeah. Mr. Blue turns around and he's like, oh, do you have the death penalty of this state? And then Zach's like, no, why?

And he's like, that's pity. And then Mr. Blue touches the third rail and instantly gets his dick sucked. Yeah. It just immediately like cooks himself on the platform. Quite a shocking answer, train master. Mr. Trade Master. A shocking bit of information, don't you think? Have you considered, have you considered I have one last trick up my sleeve, which is dying instantly?

you're about to be Goodbye, Trainmaster I've mastered the art of the spirit world and I'll be seeing you soon But there's so many other options There's so many other options up to him here Like he could try having a gun deal with Zach

And just like chance it and kill himself If he loses Like yeah you might as well Or what I'd have done is I've just going to gone Ah, I am the undercover cop This guy is the robber I got him sir

I got him for you And then Zach Like do the fucking what the Hans Gruber does in Die Hard, I'll just try it, and then the moment Zach drops his guard shoot him. I'm like, I don't know, you didn't have to get your dick stuck like that, man, but all right. No, that, not that convincing.

Oh, Mr. Trainmaster, this here was the hostage taker. I've got him. I've taken care of him for you, Mr. Trainmaster. We actually went to school together, which is why we sounded the same. Anyway, I'll be leaving now. Just trying to walk away.

What a go. But no. I have to go to Wojk. We all sound in the way of Eastern Brooklyn. Oh, my Jersey accent, yes. Unremarkable, I think you'll agree. From Jersey, the island of Jersey, yes. My Guernsey accent.

And I was living, of course, in East Brooklyn, and why was I on the Pelham one, two, three, you may ask? Well, of course, my dear boy, I have Wojk. I was, Mr. Trainmaster, I was simply, Walking ear Go mess But the train does actually get stopped And at that point we get the punchline of a joke

There's the lady who's been asleep the entire time And she wakes up as like, oh, we're already there And it's like, you slept through hostage situation After we see Robert Shaw suck his own dick right there on the train tracks We get the punchline to that whole thing as well Which is the undercover cop has long hair And is lying face down

so Garba goes, don't worry, miss, an ambulance will be here in just a moment. Very good. Fantastic. We then have to swap to investigation. The hostages are secured. There's one guy who's gotten away.

We're going to hunt him down. It's time to become a buddy cop thing with Frank Stiller. Yeah, so they run down this list of like former drivers who've all been dismissed. And they go around and I talk to someone that was like, no, I was here all day. And then there's one guy who is missing a leg. So it was like, okay, presumably it wasn't him.

And eventually they get to Mr. Green, who is like rolling around in money on his bed and has to stash it in his oven. Very cute. Really love that. He's like rolling around. I thought he's having a perfect moment. And they knock on the door.

We're like, cops are here. And he's like, just a minute. And like, he's doing the most suspicious shit of all time. Like, he's just bundling this money around, moving around. And they're outside of it, just chatting. Because they're not suspicious in one bit. They have a little conversation. How many more we got to show?

see today. Six, seven. That's the numbers from the thing. Jerry saw six seven. Six seven. I do really like also, they're like, hey, come out of here and like, get, Mr. Green knows exactly what's going on.

And just, again, starts stomping around rustling. He's like, I work nights. I just woke up. I was asleep all afternoon. I got to rustle around and stomp for a little while and open and close some cupboards. He can't stop brushing his sweaty hair. He just keeps like...

He just immediately starts combing his hair in the most nervous way anyone ever has. And they're walking around the apartment. He keeps seeing things like he sees a little bit of money on the ground, like wanders over to and kicks it onto the bed real fast. And he says, you guys got a warrant? And they're like, no, he's like, the Supreme Court says you need a warrant. And Matho's like, yeah, for now.

It's like, I often changed out about 10 minutes anyway, things are going. It's the same thing. When Blue asks about the death penalty, Matho is like, Not right now. Not at the moment. Yeah. But there's this, there's this real estate guy, see?

He's golden hair. He's gonna fix all of this. The death penalty was illegal in America for a while and then it came back. Isn't that fun? It's not fun. Not great. Still not in New York State, but isn't that fun?

To be fair, it did deter all those murders. That's true. Murder did stop for about 20 years. I remember when they stopped murder. The precocks, yeah. That's right. Mm-hmm. But as they're leaving

They've They're going Okay There's nothing going on here And they're on the way out But Mr. Green just pushes it slightly too far He starts getting on his high horse

And being like I'm a working man You come here bothering me Get the hell out of here Why don't you? I'm a wiking man I'm at work Going to work later

I'm gonna work later on I have a job I have a job You don't understand I have a job And on the way out there Just leaving He sneezes

And he sneezed a couple of times On the radio that's far And every single time, Our Garber has reflexively gone Guzondhyde. And he does it again now and then just cracks the door back open and gives him a look of like, he gives him the 5-5-5-come-on now. Like exactly. He does. He gives him a perfect 5-5-5-come-on now.

It'll be the episode art. He gives him that look. The soundtrack should be like, bha-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-w. Yeah, it really is. I heard it, even if it wasn't there. In my mind, it was just like the Looney Tunes, like, circles out. you know that's all train master

somebody's done the curbinger enthusiasm cut I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure yeah yeah beautiful and also like the investigation bit of this movie is what 10 minutes it's really not long

yeah maybe 5 it's really not long it's kind of incredible like the pacing of this movie works because it is so it's like an hour 40 It's like not a long movie. And it could have been paced so much worse.

And there's no reason for it to go on. It's just like he took the blood money. Crime doesn't pay. Done. Dusted movie over. Yeah. Bam. Yeah. See, what's like the, I think the fundamentally, right,

like what we've seen with all these things that are these little pieces, the reason I love this movie so much is it's about all of these little pieces, little piece of investigation, little piece of the office. Even like the heist is so simple, right? we're just going to we're going to kidnap a train say we're going to kill people if they don't give it

give us money right like really I complain about the dead man's device thing but like in fact that's the only piece of like you know well we have to overcome this problem fundamentally this is a very very small movie

that is laser focused on its actual characters which is what makes it so fun is the only like bit of like conjecture everything else is just worked out to the minute like what they would do here. And like Garber says, the whole nugget of this heist

is that they figured out how to beat the Dead Man Switch and everything from there just follows naturally. I love this movie. I liked watching it twice. It was a good, it was great to get an excuse to rewatch it again. Yeah, it's really solid. Yeah. I'm going to be interested to see

how it compares to the Denzel Washington remake, which we will be doing next. I've heard it is not so hot. To prepare yourself. I remember it fondly. I saw it as a child, so it's been that long since I've seen it, but yeah, I've never seen it before. I'm very excited to see what it happens. Do we have any closing thoughts on the taking of Pellon, one, two, three?

Do you think it says anything about masculinity? I think it maybe has something to say about masculinity? It seems pretty insecure about masculinity, the way that it, like, constantly talks about what if it's a dame or whatever? Like, it's very odd. The real heist is women stealing all the jobs, stealing all the way. Yeah, I mean, I think it's just like, it is a sort of, it is a, it is a classic sort of, like, late 70s movie and that it is about like society ending.

And like, things being up, things being overthrown in a way that is scary, not in a way that is being, that is interesting, like, or fun, like the 60s.

You know, it's, everyone's afraid for the future because, like, everything was bad. New York City was falling apart. The federal government had told us to get fucked and to die. Like,

it was, the city was bankrupt. It was everything was, everything was falling apart. So like, there are all these existential threats, uh, to the way things work and the way things worked where men were in

charge, right? And so yeah, it's a, it's a very, a movie that is very afraid. Though it is, you know, it's funny that it's still such like a morality tale of, take the blood money, the literal blood money, and you will be caught three minutes later. When he's rolling around on his bed at the end, the blood money is like right on top, right in the dead center. It's like, there it is. You see? He accepted that the deaths were worth it for him to have the money and then he immediately got caught. There you go. But the other thing is that the movie itself, sorry, I'm sorry, the movie itself, it does, it comes down really hard on this, this like anti-woman shit that they're all talking about the whole time, because the only

time we see women doing anything, they are competent at it. Yeah, yeah, that is true. I mean, we don't really have a lot of like, you know, internality. We have very little of them. Yeah. The best you get is the one who takes over Kazdolowitz's his job and just does it flawlessly. Yeah. And that's not, it's not, they don't like point at that and say it. It's just there for you to pick up. I don't think she has any lines for the rest of the movie. She's not rude. She just kind of disappears. She does. She does. But only a couple. And on the train, there's like the conductor

who's like, when the conductor doesn't want to die, the women are like, he doesn't have to go if he doesn't want to. And it's like the only line that you get. Yeah, that's about. Yeah. And there's a woman like chanting Oams as the train is speeding. I did know that. It's a cross section of New York, these guys. But we don't just have to talk about the film subjectively. Because

we have a science-based system on this podcast. It's called the Skama. It stands for Swam, Cultural and Sensitivity Unnecessary. violence and misogyny. So on a scale of one to seven, how smarmy is it taking a pull on one, two, three? Like zero. Not a, not an ounce to smart on it. Mr. Blue is smarmy and he pays for it. Yeah. But it's how satisfied the movie is with itself. Oh, I don't think so. I don't think we're satisfied with itself. There's a small amount of eyebrow waggling. When you make the mayor a very sick man, like when you do all of this stuff, there is a small

amount of eyebrow wagging. That's true. But it's just, that's true. I don't know if I I call it Smarmy. The fact that it's like a morality play where he gets caught straight away, I don't know. I'd give it like a two or a three. I could see two. Okay.

I don't remember what we gave it last time either. I, in fact, do have that in front of me, so I'll be able to do an interesting comparison. On the last episode, cultural and sensitivity, we do have characters of color in the movie and they are actual characters. They have internality.

They get to do things. We get patrolma James and we get that other police officer as well, at least. Notably, it's the black men who get to do that. The black women in the film definitely don't, but we could put that under misogyny. So I'd say it's like, I don't know, fairly low. We do get some pretty racist stuff against those Japanese guys,

and that's kind of treated as a joke. You can tell what they're trying to do, which is the joke's actually on him for assuming they can't speak English. Like he's a schlub. Yeah. Yeah. And the fact that it's the Waingroh who's racist, and this is shown to be like, you know, bad.

That's a Waingrish property, yeah. Yeah, even, yeah, and Shaw is like, don't be racist. Don't be racist We're an anti-racist organization Colorblind hostage taking organization I don't care what the union says Will be an arbitration for years

It doesn't bother me You'll be doing your hostage takers Sensitivity Training on Monday Well the wangers have to go to insensitivity training They're pulling you in and But like I can't help but notice The last group of hostages you took were all white Do you want to talk about like what's going on man

It's like no I was just I was just in an area I'm sorry I don't I was thinking about it But why are you only taking hostages in those areas? Live skiing my hostage situation being like, wow, all the hostages in my hostage group are white. Damn. Yeah, suss. I mean, you tried to take Pelham 1, 2, 3 right now.

Everyone would immediately start just like streaming on Instagram live straight away. I'm in a hostage situation. Yeah, yeah. All right. Kind of suss. Between stations, there's not service. So you can actually still do it. They're all live skiing it.

We all do. We do know what happens when a bunch of people with phones are put in a hostage. situation, which is when that like, I don't know, science teacher tried to shoot up like the Republican convention and then all of like the Fox women just started live streaming. Oh yeah. I do remember that one actually. I don't remember that. I don't remember that. Oh, it was like, I don't know, like maybe Fox women. There was Kitsunez at the fucking at SEPAC. Damn. I got to become a conservative. Oh. Get out of here. I know it's pronounced Kitsunei. Don't fucking at me. I'm writing a letter to you. We were doing cultural insensitivity. Yeah.

You're not asked to sympathize with any cultural sensitivity. It's always used to illustrate why these guys are in the wrong. And it's kind of, I don't like the way that the Japanese businessmen are referred to, but I'm not going to give it a high one for that. It is a very 1970s way of being not anti-racist, but not racist, and that it is like, racism is bad, but we can all talk pretty frankly about other races. And it's like, well, okay, that's not exactly there, but it's, Better than it could have been, I think.

Yeah, two, three? Two. Oh, three, actually. Okay. I'd say between two and three for the first two, I'm happy. Yeah, I think that makes sense. Ah, gorgeous, gorgeous. Unnecessary violence?

Not a lot, to be honest. Like, it doesn't ask us to endorse any particular violence. The whole way through the movie, they're saying, escalating the violence of a situation will only harm us in the hostages. Yeah, that's very true. We see what happens when one of the cops squeezes off like one shot, results in someone's death. It's very anti-unprovoked violence. Yeah. And the guy who's the ally of Fat Kaz is just like, he's the one who's like,

oh, fuck it, I don't give a shit. And it's like, no, we do have to like try and negotiate this. I know, I almost want to say like, one, zero. Yeah. Zero. Right? Zero. I can't think of anything. And finally, misogyny. Now, you were doing so well taking a Pelham, one, two, three. Oh, taking of Pelham, one, two, three. You were, you were, you were absolutely, the scum system for the first three letters. As is so often the case. The M is always the killer.

Women aren't, well, women are kind of people in this. There are some female characters. I don't like that the black women in particular are treated so poorly. And in particular, in one case, like, slapped. And this is just, like, not even remarked on. M.A. Yeah, yeah. That's not cool. And, like, the film's constant, like, worrying about women.

And, like, what if it's the undercover cop as a dame? I'm just like, oh, come on, that's a shame. I could go like a four or a five. I'd go five if I was feeling cruel, but what do you guys think? I don't know if the perspective of the movie is that misogyny is good. That's fair. I think the misogyny of the characters is like laughed at. Yes.

And like the punchline of the whole thing being that he's so in his head that he just assumes that a male cop is a woman. Because he's like just, he's seeing them around corners now at this stage. Like that's, that's hung on him in the. the same way that the racism is. Yeah. And like in the whole movie is, I was going to say, and like in the nurse being slapped is not great,

but also like those people are all depicted to be pretty evil like operators. Like they're not like the, like the deputy mayor you don't like. It's not a good person. Like his actions are not being endorsed by the, I don't know. Like I think it is not a feminist film by any stretch. Is the movie endorsing Kaz Dollowicz?

Does it believe what Kaz Dollowicz? This podcast endorses Kaz Dollowicz. accent exclusively. I don't know if it makes enough of a break from him. We're grading this movie on the Dollar Wits system. Yeah, I think I'm with Maddie on this one. Again, it's like, because if the whole point of the movie is that it's super paranoid, it's super paranoid. Yeah, it's super paranoid. Yeah. And it's like you can get, because the whole idea, right, in the 1970s, and especially as the 1970s is remembered, is like, you can't even go outside without getting taken. you know it's it's trying to portray like actually that these people's war and the thing about the movie is it's smallness it's it's all in very tight spaces whether this is small like low ceiling rooms but there's places off to the side like very little of it is outside it's all very brunched in and crushed and i think part of it is these guys seeing um just seeing around the corner people like non white non men just coming and then it's and and and and they're

threatening them. That's why I think it's actually pretty significant that all of the hijackers are white guys, right? Because everyone who they can't stop talking about being afraid of is black people and is women and by implication like non-white people as well. That's the way I see it. That's a pretty good analysis, right? Are you talking out of a four or a three? I think that's fair. Death? I'm not going to minimize it. Put it as a four. I was going to say it's a three in 1978, which is a four in today's scum system. Call it. That gives it a total score of nine.

Wow. Which is pretty darn good and is in fact, I can reveal two points better than it was on the last episode where we gave it 11. It was a feeling meaner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Clearly November is a kind of a force for evil. That's a pretty good score. I mean, it's like on a par with, um, it's on a par with blue collar.

which is that Richard Pryor movie we did a while ago with Harvey Coutel as well. So, yeah, 1970s. Turns out it makes pretty good movies. Work is decade. Yeah. Yeah. Well, there was no computers. That's one of the main things.

Right. There's a bit in the movie where they're like, the subway's going to be so fucked up. We're going to need a computer to put it back together. And they still don't have one. They still don't have one. They're working on putting the computer in here. They have the base level of computer, which is just like switchboards.

Christmas lengths, yeah. What they've been trying to install for the last 40 years is a computer. the size of a small office building. This is the most compact computer that Atari makes. Yeah, the other thing remarkable to me as a current day New Yorker watching this movie is that everybody's wearing jackets

in the subway and in the tunnels on the platform. And I'm like, even in the winter, the subway is hot now because the ground's been heating up for so long under there and there's none of events. So like, there's ads from the 20s that are like cool down in the subway in the summer. And it's like, that's crazy. That's crazy talk. It's so hot down there now, like year round.

Yeah, they've released the other half of the carbon as well. Yeah, they've released the half of the carbon. It's not a deal. But even just like literally on a freezing cold day in the subway, in the tunnel, it is still hot. Often. It's crazy. It's like I'm a warm of thing. Anyway, well, I doubt that there's anyone listening to this who wouldn't be able to answer the question if you want more Matty and Riley, where can you find them? But just in case, if they want more Maddie and Riley, where can they find you?

So take the sixth train to 59 train. Lexington Avenue, transfer the N, and that'll take you two Queens where you can find me anytime. We're posting Maddie's docs in the comments. I've talked very much about what neighborhood I live and it's fine. Can I say it's super important when Maddie says take the train? She does not mean in this way. No, well, this one's going up the train. This one's going uptown.

It's different. So anyways, no guys. Armed men have taken your train. Yeah, they do it every day. I mean, my main thing right now is, you know, but the podcast. Go buy my book, please. Simplicitybook.xyZ. It's a good book and I like it and it has nothing to do with this movie. It can't even tie it in. gorgeous that's right

but it's good it's a good book you all you all know what it is we talk about mares we did an episode with devon whoa

yeah so um Devon did come on to know gods no mares where we talked about we talked about a mayor what is his name Larry Vaugh

his name is Larry Vaugh we talked about Mary Larry Vaughn a really fascinating tale I think yeah interesting guy a fascinating a fascinating tale hey

hey all right all right we have to stop recording the podcast now. My air conditioner is broken and I'm dying. Oh no. Goodbye everybody.

I'm also unbelievably warm. Goodbye, everyone. Bye-bye. We'll see you next week for a bonus episode. We haven't decided yet. Thank you for listening to yet another episode of Kill James Bond. It's difficult to pick up the pieces without November, but I think you'll agree that we've done a passable job of making an episode of the podcast Kill James Bond.

The next free episode of the podcast Kill James Bond is. in two weeks time is going to be, of course, the remake of the Taking Appellar 1,2, 3 starring Denzel Washington and John Travolta. Totally different. But if that is too long for you to wait, then you can head on over to our Patreon. Patreon.com slash Kill James Bond and sign up to stay for as it was five pounds a month to get our entire five-year backlog, as well as the next bonus episode. Which is November's pick and I said to her, I said November, you're ill, you're dying. pick something that makes you feel good. Let's have something that's going to get you up and going.

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for this episode. Now let's start with the people who deserve to be condemned. Hang on, I'm just going to... Here we go. All right.