Upstream - Season 2 Episode 0.5: KJB Q&A 6 [UNLOCKED]

Episode Date: June 1, 2022

It's the pre-show party to Season 2, baby! And this year it just so happens to fall on the first of June, the first day of our yearly Banquet of Forgiveness, where YOU (thats right, you) get our Bonus episodes for the month COMPLETELY FREE! This week on KJB Q&A: We discuss fighting a chimp with a sword for ten minutes, Abi invents a new Regional Bond, and we decipher which wrestling moves would be safest to perform on a child! Enjoyed this? Find our entire backlog of bonus episodes at our reasonably-priced patreon! https://www.patreon.com/killjamesbond     *WEB DESIGN ALERT*  Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/   Find us at https://killjamesbond.com and https://twitter.com/killjamesbond

I'm welcome to another bonus episode of Co. James Bond. You know who we are. Although perhaps you don't. Is this gonna be on the banquet of forgiveness? Oh, this is coming out on the first of the month. So as a result, this is going out on the free feet. Wow. That's not as many slurs as we had originally planned. Just, okay, well that's cut my notes in this far half. I am Atlas Corva, Kelly. Joining me as always are Abigail Thornton and Devon.

Hello. How you doing? We're doing another Q&A. You have some cues and we're going to aid them. That's right. That's right. So it facilitates the parasitial interaction which we count on to pay our money. Because the thing is we are your friends.

We are your real life actual friends. Yeah. It's really nice to see you. You're looking well. You're looking well. You're looking well. Looking great. Love the hair. I do the Jason Bord're looking well. Looking great. Love the hat.

Do the Jason Bordefegger thing. You look tired today. Where are your friends and we love you and we care about you. That's why we made this podcast especially for you. No one else can hear it. Just you. Yeah. And the thing is, the thing about podcasts is it's about checking in on your hogs. And so we're checking in with the questions that you've asked us. Love that the hogs is stuck, isn't it? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, well, I've got a bunch of questions. I've got like 17. So I thought I would start us out on a nice easy one, a low ball to begin with.

So in your own words, what is a woman? So I thought I would start us out on a nice easy one, a low ball to begin with. So in your own words, what is a woman? A miserable pile of secrets. I define it vastly. You didn't see the little flourish there that I did on the camera, but it was quite something. That was the music, but it was quite something. Um, I'm just thinking that was really good.

I had the idea just now. Oh shit. It's my specialist subject. I'm mastermind actually. Yeah. What is a woman? Kil'James Bond answers the stand-alone question with. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I went. Yeah. I went to the gym this afternoon and I fucking changed in the women's changing room and nothing happened. Hey, nice. Nice. Nice. I thought I read in the music Glasgow have been destroyed.

I was in the gym. I was in the gym the other day and I was having this memory because I don't work like wake up or anything when I go to the gym, I was in the gym the other day and I was having this moment because I don't want to wake up or anything when I go to the gym. And I was having this moment like, fuck, I look really cockable, I feel really out of place, like my beard shadows all fucked up or whatever. And I was waiting for these machines

and then this girl came up to me and she was like, hey, babe, are you waiting for this machine? And I was like, yes! Yes! They call me fucking David Beckham because I am passing. Easy, easy. Don't know any other footballers. Hope that works. I think it lasts. Yeah. The thing about David Beckham is I think he passes as a footballer. I wonder if he imagines himself as a footballer. Do you imagine yourself bending it around the goalkeeper, when you're just...

Do you imagine yourself bending it? Oh, it ought to be quite painful, I imagine. Yeah, yeah. We do have to do a bend at, like, back on at some point, because that's a genuinely, really fun movie. Yeah, we probably do. I have enough. I don't know why I went, oh, I have no fucking idea

what the movie entails. I just don't like to be taught to do anything. It's the most, it's the most sort of, oh, I have no fucking idea what the movie entails. I just don't like to be taught to do anything. It's the most, it's the most sort of like implicit lesbianism of the 1990s stroke early 2000s. There's a lot there. It's I think. Actually, I think the most implicit lesbianism of the late 90s early 2000s was me and the closet.

No, I think this movie might give us both a run for our money to be honest. Well, okay, actual question here. Jordan Lamb asks if we had to direct a sequel to any movie that we've watched for the pod, which one? Mask of Zara. We're not talking about the fucking legend of Zara. I don't even mention that to me. Just like off the dome, what would I want to see another movie of?

What I want to get the chance to like exercise some creative freedom over it. Zara, want to do another Zara. It'd be cool. I think I would want to get in one more Roger Murk. Tomorrow, I always never push you again. Yeah. Bring him back, Paul. Just to like, what is like, what is like, 90? We like CGI, Roger Murk. Not to make him look at a younger, we get the oldest possible footage of him and we can post it together.

It's like fucking Disney, like doing the Disney resurrection, right? Yeah, we make him older if anything. Yeah, we've applied this sort of like aging effect from the Irishman or the end of saving private Ryan to old Roger Carrie fished Roger Moore for one last adventure And I would have done your craig with the villain that's what I do. I just think that would be nice

You just you just want a past bond to be the villain. Yeah, you love a bond movie to be in dialogue with The other movies. Yeah, I do. I love it when films are in dialogue with other films. Other when things are meta. Yeah, meta-toxed, you're right. The Man from Hong Kong too, where I air drop George Laysen be into Hong Kong instead. Woo! What's this sort of vibe there? It's called Stoner.

So, I'll make you watch this. Damn, this sounds good. It's a little worse than Man from Hong Kong. They have a name. Perfect. So, that sounds good. It's a little worse than man from Hong Kong. They had a name that's... So it's just brilliant. Yeah, it's just the second best film ever made. Five-minute sex scene that I was just there like, is it still going on?

The stuff... I love it. I love so much. We've talked about George Lathambe so much. I love that that's what he gave up on to do was the five-minute sex scene in Hong Kong movies legend Let us yes, good of him keynote Yes, I'm already building power

Very well, well similar question you from oh no, I cannot say that and I'm not gonna I'm trying I thought it was a slur for a second someone at I want to know what about one of our biggest donors and patrons has asked. What do you think the border between Greece and Albania should be drawn? Oh, I got it. It's probably Leppinayun, I think, who asks, who will play you in Kill James Bond the movie? Oh, well, yeah.

Oh, no, that's smart. That's... I'm curious whether this means like, who do I want to play me or who do I think would actually be cast to play me? Because I mean, who do I want? Who do I want to play me, Leia Sado?? Yeah, who do I want to play me? Leicido? Who do I think would be cast to play me? Leicido for you. Who do I want? Yes. The French. Yes. Yes.

And it changed my fucking life. Turned me around entirely on that woman. But no, who I think would actually be cast to play me, Rory Keneer. Oh, I mean, he's a great actor. Was the only one who can replicate my perfectly concave arts? I'm trying to think, I know a fair few trans actresses, I'm like, who could conceivably play me? I don't, it's maybe like one or two, who'd be like, oh, it's gonna be like Jeanette Lollashurur I think probably Eva Green is

Abigail Thorne It's unfortunate because you are an actor so I can play me but ideally you But failing that Eddie Redman Yeah, why not then try it again My apologies my father just Eddie said it. For business reasons, I cannot stop it. Two different trans women doing separate self-deprecating jokes about being played by a male actor there. I don't know, Jason Mammar.

I don't know. Oh, wow, that'd be cool. No, because I'm there since. What, George Lason be there? Yeah, George Lason be cool. Yeah, George Lason be good. George Lason be age 90 playing dev, yeah. Henry Cavill, but he has to have the mustache for a mission impossible fallout.

Oh, yeah. I could see that he has the same kind of like shoulders. I could actually feel the sea Henry Cavill in the fucking like the romper. Yeah, no, no. He's got like the Witcher hair, right? Where he's got basically my hairstyle in the Witcher, but it's longer.

He's enough of a nerd, and I say that affectionately, that I maybe could get him on. I bet we could get Henry Cavalong. Just get him on for the man for a month and be like, oh man, they're never making another one of these, huh? Hey, that's not a, that's a good idea. That's not a bad idea. The problem is that every time we think about having like a genuine actor on, we have to conceptualize

that we would have to be really serious for like three episodes. Yeah. Any agent checking would be like, this seems acceptable. They probably wouldn't check too thoroughly though. Just off top of my head. And for some reason, I have this idea in my head that people in the industry, in the podcasting industry, don't really check the people that are like getting in all that.

I don't know why, not so, yeah. That any idea will be. That process is fast and quick and easy. Alfie Hoss being a being serious. Alfie Hoss asks, fuck Mary Kill, the free cues. The OG obviously, Desmond Loelon, the person who never say never again, Bask you, or Ben Wichot Twink Q. And then Bracket's here, Alphys included, Cleese obviously left out. Yeah, because he's not a Q, he's an R. It would, it would, it would eliminate our options very quickly if we had Cleese in

the, because we all know what we would pick for him. Yeah, I mean, I think we, we can all solve the fuck part of the equation already, which is simply, oh, welcome to Japan, dad. Is my little girl hot and ready? I'd like a fun whistle. Oh, James Bond. I'd fuck Ben, I mean Ben, Ben, Ben, which was gay. So I'm, you probably, that's true, you'd have to like, that's the thing. That's the distinction I would make is I I would give Desmond Loisland one beautiful night of passion, but to settle down with. Yeah, that's true.

To settle down with. Over like, I don't Ben Wysher, look, like Ben Wysher was about fucking, I don't know, 70 years old or whatever, but he still has twink modesthetics. He still has trap modesthetics, because he follows that like, fortune and diet crap.

Oh, God. He eats like, you know, beans and calm, He's still as trap mode of aesthetic because he follows that like fortune-dying He eats like you know beans and calm or yes, yeah exactly exactly and so so he looks young enough that I feel like I could get a couple of Decades out of him and you know, he's got that kind of like cozy sort of like cable knit sweater or aesthetic as cue I I would marry I would marry Ben Wyshaw and obviously I would kill, I would kill BazQ from Nevercy, never, BazQ doesn't even stand a chance. I would be sucking Desmond Lwela not while he's driving his reddit on the gun to a book signing of that in 1999. I can't believe you, you did that after you had already sucked off Matthew McConaughey in Ireland that one time.

Was it Matthew McConaughey? Fuck, it was a, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, hand. I was like, wait a minute, shit, how long? I feel a long time. I've seen Ben Wischel at live and up reasonably close. And he's surprising, big and well built. They make him look... I was never waste my fucking time then. He's six foot one. The marriage is off.

I'm sorry. I saw him play Brutus and Chilli Caesar at the bridge. And he's like surprisingly like Hanch. Hell yeah. They make him look Twink on the on camera. Yeah, they do Twinkify him for the bonds. Yeah, that's a Twinkify me for recording this.

Yeah. They put him through the Twink filter. Just a real question. Where could I get the Twink filter? I don't know. You'd have to speak to Sam Mendez, I think. Well, all right. Noted.

Sam, there's no end contact. No, you listen. Milo, not this one, a different one, says, we all enjoyed Welsh Bond, but are there any other regional bonds that you think could have as much or perhaps even greater potential? Any regional bond is funny. You apply that because the thing about bond is that he's like, he's always the man out of time, out of place, or whatever. It doesn't work as soon as you drag him down to the level of the Monday. And as soon as you think about bond being from anywhere apart from Scotland

by way of Switzerland, by way of London, then it gets fucking weird. You can't have a donkaster bond, for instance, because it just, it, it collapses the whole mind palace. That's why Sean Bean couldn't get her own, yeah. Yeah, that's right. Um, I do think that Jordy Bond would be very funny. Jordy Bond would be a fantastic, funny. Fuck it, smash your face in, blow-feld, bust out. Now, I'll get out of 007. This is a knife. Now, pay attention to 007, this is a knife. Phew, I'm familiar with this device.

Pay attention to 007, an ordinary flat cap, however. If you look carefully, do you have a number of razors have been hidden within the brim? Now, pay attention to 007. This is an ordinary sausage route. You have three of these from Milligans for 50p on a Wednesday. Never been cropped, but I helicopter a Donna Smokestark. Imagine it'd be quite inconvenience. Yeah, glass region bond would be very funny. Bond, what do you know about the four corners, KFC? Well, sir.

I don't fucking tell you, this the four corners KFC? Well, sir. I don't know. I'm talking to you, this is like, unconnected to anything, but I've walked past Kevin Bridges in the street the other day. I saw him in a cafe and I'm very nearly, just was like, oh, fuck, but I didn't say anything. But it was definitely fucking me. You're doing this sort of Leo de Cappriot,

sort of pointing at the screen from one time in Hollywood, yeah. Yeah, no, any regional bond is funny, I'm sorry. Could be absolutely anywhere. Cornish Bond. Cornish Bond is the one that the question asked are included. Essex bond. It's gonna be fun to be nice. I don't know. I enjoy it. I could play it. Maybe good. Not gonna be the way.

Looks like an ordinary bottle of scrumpy. But one sip of this and you're gonna fall down a fucking mind shaft Let me tell you, 40 jacks baby This is Christ it's in a blue plastic 5 litre bottle and it's like 7% Holy shit, I'd love to see like a henchman doing all kinds of like fight choreography and Jordy Bond just fucking nothing Not even moving till he gets close and then just punching him like that police horse Jordy Bond just keeps taking his shirts off. No one knows why Oh fucking come on man

You fucking bust up smash your face in Come on then, you fucking bust, aren't you? Smash your fears in. Fuckin' gear, cunt. Yeah. By the gun here, I included that because I was like, Abby's gonna do process. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm just gonna do process.

I read that question as I, we can get like four or five, I reckon. Yeah. And there's one side, man. Malachi Biffle, phenomenal. Right, mate. asks, today I went to make a playlist of KJB biggest absolute bangers and ended up downloading three quarters of the episodes, which kicked off an hour and a half,

categorizing and organizing frenzy. This is an unclicked question. But what are our hosts most seemingly boring things that give you an inordinate amount of joy? I have an answer for this right off the fucking bad. It's going to be the same. It's it's it's. I just held out the camera. That was a room joke. Um, it's it's absolutely when Abby says she's

putting the kettle on. Yeah, that's an episode. That's also my answer. That's my answer. Really? Oh, you guys are really sweet. No, it's how I know that I have to like sort of lumber across the room and start up design caster as because like five minutes before we have to go. Abby will announce that she's putting the kettle on possibly sometimes including a photo

of the kettle. And that's just delightful. Yeah, these days the injectors has included like it's it's grown to the point where now we're just putting like D minus kettle. You could yeah, you could do anything like at this point, we all know we understand the signify you could take a photo of a pizza and be like we've got to start the episode in about four hours once the team's up. Like a teacup in a piece. It's just a course time. It's time, baby. Sometimes I just start a podcast with a cup of tea, you know, it's good for the voice.

Tonight I'm on the wire. Slate. Obviously the question, right from mundane things that what? Yeah, mundane things that bring you a lot of joy. Yeah, from your co-hosts, I think it was. Not specifically. Oh, wasn't okay. Well, I still stand by my answer. I think I have to, I really love Devon's Devon clothing. The Devon clothing is so fucking good. It's so good. Like I was I was in on the ground floor of the Bianny Devs necessarily North Face Jacket and every time I got a little progress update about

how that was going it just sort of like ah perfect perfection. So good. Everything about your life Dev like your mum as well. I love your mum. My mum is phenomenal. Absolutely. Top 10. At what point of the top 10 should be though. So what are the other nine mums? Top 10, I mean, I cannot. And I mean, I, I cannot. Um, no, but the fucking North Face Puffer, and if you don't know what, I'll be talking about regarding the Devon clothing, it's going to be my pin's tweet for a while,

so you can just head to Devon on earth and have a gamut. And I screen printed the word Devon on a shit load of like shirts and a hoodie in the Supreme font, because I found out what it was and it was very easy to do. And then I got a North Face puffer jacket. And it's the same one from the on-hand majesty secret hype beasts. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's it's exactly that I used I used them. You what is it? Some drip Goku is the meme image. I use that as reference. But yeah, it's just an image of Goku wearing the North Face puffer jacket with any means necessary all over it.

So I I aped that and just printed Devon all over it. And it took me like two solid weeks of work. And like, so much material, but it was worthwhile, baby, because that's a fucking decent jacket still. I guess it'll function. It looks amazing. I think, I think at this point, we got, we got to start selling the Devon shirts. You can, nah, you need, baby. Fair enough. I think if, I think if, you know, actually we probably could, if I get like an order of like five of each size from once, for us and just throw it up one day, you have to get in there fast. Devon shirts are only available in XXL. You've got to get ripped to fit. I'm wearing a medium. Devon shirts are, you can only order

them in two sizes, two small, say you look ripped. That's right. That's smart. That's smart. Hillary Johnson asks, uh, witness is something I've been thinking about for quite some time. Would you rather have to fight a sword wielding chimpanzee once every year for the rest of your life or have to fight a chicken every time you enter a car?

I mean, I would obviously pick the chicken because like, I just got my theory passed. I still, I don't have a car. I don't know when I'm gonna learn to drive, but I think this is an important decarbonization measure. If I have to fight a chicken every time I get in the car, I'm using that shit for essential journeys only. I'm not popping down the shops

because if I do, I'm gonna have to kill a chicken. And at that point, you know, I've already got half the shit that I want to go to the shops for dead chickens. So like, yeah, no, it's definitely, that's my answer. Although the idea of the sort of like battle of honor with the chimpanzee, is it the same chimpanzee at the time? That's what I was about to ask. I believe it to be, To me, I would believe it to be the same chimpanzee. Chimpanzee's gonna wage faster than me, baby. Yeah. I've been thinking about this for some time because I saw this question as a tweet at some

point last year and boys chat chatted about it for a long time. With the chicken, I think it would become mundane very quickly because it's not even a problem to have a long neck. It's like buckling your seatbelt. You get in the car, you reach over, you snap the chicken. Yeah, it's just like, all right, it's like, mirror, mirror, all right, chicken dog. So I'm not going to snap its neck, I'm just going up the road, I'm just going to hold it. You just toss it out the window and just drive away. What's it gonna happen to you? But the sword wielding chimpanzee as a concept

fills me with such like honor. It's a once a year. And to me, I feel like I would have to know when it arrives. Like I would sense the arrival of my long-time enemy. Just carving a zed a cheap ant's seat. Son of devil one who sent you. What kind of swords do we envision the chimpanzee being armed with here? Is this like a, is this a rapier situation like sorrow?

Is it a katana? Does it have like a saber? Ambiorepia. No, that's too powerful. A chimp with a rapier. No Of a rapier and a be horny for it. I cannot do that to a chimp Like a samurai sword of some description as well. I think I'm imagining, you know, like finest Nippon steel, or a claymore would also be fun. But you would feel his presence like the quickening, like Highlander. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, absolutely, because it wouldn't be fun if just like once a year I could just get murked from behind in a crowded space by a chimp with a sword. Like, it has to be honorable. The fucking Kato. I mean, you think about the quickening, that's one option. My alternative option for this is that you get a little alert on your phone telling you the proximity of the chimp like grinder. That's a chimp has been dipped in. Yeah, chimp is 500 meters away. Chimp is 450 meters away. And that was like a second later. Yeah, yeah.

It's like, the notifications give the impression that it's closing on you at an alarming speed. Maybe it's like by mutual appointment. Like you both have to go to like the field of honor, right? At the same time every year. You feel it a resistive urge to a faraway land to fight for the prize. It's got like wild flowers all over it.

There's like blossom in the wind. It's very aesthetic. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, no, it's, it has always cherry blossom no matter what time of year it is. The thing about the chimp, right, is that when it shows up, after you defeat that chimp, that's the most relaxing series of months you've ever had in your life. You don't have to worry about anything. If you've defeated the chimp, it has nothing. That's fair. But soon as that new year's clicks over, it's back in its back in attention. You're worrying about the chimp.

Less so, but the longer it goes throughout the year before the chimp arrives, you're going to get more and more worried. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Also, I envision it being the same chimp every time, like we said. So, like, it's never a battle to the death, right? It's a chimp that is known to me. Yeah, and by definition, so you defeat the chimp, which we're assuming you're going to do most of the time, and the chimp sort of limps away to look at twins and like, you know, come back the next year stronger, but the sort of... You need to beat the ch the chip and you raise its chin up with the black. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a big gun when you're ready. But the problem is, at some point, law of large numbers, you're going to lose to the chip. And then you have to spend that year. You have to spend a year of your fucking life knowing that you've been bested by the chimp and you have to fight it again. And your options then are either to train or to fight or to go for the jugular vein of the chimp or to accept defeat and become someone who is cursed in effect to get their ass beat by a chimp with a sword once a year.

I think if the chimp with the sword defeats me, I would want it to kill me. Yeah. And I didn't want to have to do of that. That's when you know that's life is done. Oh yeah, that's when the chimp can take over from me on the podcast. Yeah, but the chimp won't kill you because it would be like, you know, it would do you too much honor to be to be killed by it. It would kill you with tears in its eyes.

It would thank you for teaching it. It would be head you honorably. Absolutely, absolutely. Of course, if it does let you live and the rest of that year, I'm in fucking absolute training mode. Yeah, of course. That chimp is not getting past me twice.

What if you become so complacent you start to flex on the chimp? If you go sort of mussashy mode, you arrive with an awe. You know, you start to flex on the chimp. You go sort of in msashimou, you arrive with an awe, you're trying to feed the chimp with a comedy weapon. If you think you're ready to come at me, and I've got a fucking fork. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you have any getting defeated by a chimp, and then just becoming like fucking Vegeta for this chimp? Just like training constantly to try and beat it? Oh, I'm trying so hard to fucking beat the chimp just like training constantly to try and beat it. I'm trying so hard. Fuck. You're putting the fucking poster up in your home gym that's like the chimp exercise today, did you? The thing is, I'm okay with being of the G-T-O. The chimp exercise is really good.

Yeah, can we do another poster? Sorry. Yes. The chimp exercise. Okay, can we do another poster? Sorry. I'm not doing it. Yes! This chip is a chip with a sword. It's got like, it's got like, it's got like, it's got like, it's got like, it's got a sword in one hand. It's like doing chin ups with the other.

Chip with a headband? Like, it's so good. I don't remember what I was going to fucking say. You said you were okay with it. I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, so good. I don't remember what I was going to fucking say. You said you were okay with being Vegeta and I said what I was 14, I said the same thing. I am okay with being Vegeta, largely because my sister's boyfriend is stronger than me.

He keeps, I know, it's fucked up. And he, I just, I'm not stronger than him. He's a bunch of like lifting when we were building um and not possibly answer that. Yeah. When we were building the barn and he was he's just slightly stronger than me. So I'm I'm okay playing. When was this though? Because you've gotten bigger in the last few months. I am. So is he that's the shame? Oh fuck sake. Happens to the best of it. Well, he hasn't got a bigger actually, he's got much slimmer, he's lost a shitload of weight, but it's all muscle now.

You know what though, he wouldn't, he wouldn't be able to best you if he was constantly having to think about the chimp. You know, it's true. It would weaken him. I think that's the thing about the chimp is that it doesn't make you stronger, it weakens you. It's a war of the chimp.

Yeah, exactly. If I was about to honorably duel someone, we've been doing this for like 10 minutes. If I was about to honorably do something, we've been doing this for like 10 minutes. If I was about to honorably do someone and they were like hold on, I'm expecting a chimp. I'd be like, oh, okay, no worries, man, I'll get out of here. I'm like, I stand in between you and the chimp. Yeah.

It's the chimp-pastor idea is so good. The chimp is pretty good. I don't know yet. It's just terrible. It's gonna be a no-a-a-a-a-a-a. It would be very funny. We do much smaller size, a normal size that you can find a frame for.

Ash, with an exclamation point, asks, what is the worst thing about the UK that you will nonetheless reflexively defend if an American criticizes it? Um, the flag, actually. I think it looks nice. Um, I'm not sure why. I just like the little pretty geometric shapes.

And it's a purely aesthetic opinion. I make no political defensive it whatsoever. I just think that it looks good. London. London. Yeah. It's fucking shit. It's horrible.

Everyone's got air pollution in their lungs. Everything's too expensive. Then if Americans have a come here in the lab, this is shit. I'm like, you're from fucking America, fuck you. I'm even from London, like. So badly when I came down for the live show because I grew up sort of adjacent to it. Like I count myself as having grown up in London just because Echinom is so fucking Tory that it like, whatever. Yeah, but. Yeah, no, like I've told the story a million times,

but the first thing that I heard in London, when I got out of the station, was a guy yelling at his girlfriend, going suck your mum, bruv, to his girlfriend. And I'm like, I just sort of drank that in from it, and I'm like, I'm hung. It's the only city in the world. Everywhere else is fake.

I'm actually with the London London London's shell. I hated it. But when I, but it's so good, I keep going back once a fucking month. It's so good. But what the thing that I will reflexively defend about the UK is the food. I think the food's good. I think it's fine. That's true. I think Cornish Pasti was invented.

It was revealed to us by God himself. That's been a perfect. Yeah, because even if you get the sort of the lib take here, which is like chicken teacum masala is a British food, diversity has made our food significantly better. Therefore, it's not bad anymore. It's true, but like... So the food that is not diversity, let's just...

Yeah, the food's good. But the food, like, I've completely jumped the track on this one. But no, like, I guess what you might call the fucking trad Anglo food, whatever. I think it's often unfairly maligned. You know, steak and alpay, delicious. Rost, roast, yeah. Oh, it's fucking Yorkshire pudding, baby.

One, one, it's good, sir. Eel, it's all good, I think it's good. Sustard rolls. Even if you ignore the fusion crezenes that have made their way over here, if you even incriminate all of that, I'm not saying a fucking can jelly deal pie is good. That is still shit.

But like, like pies, steak and ale. I miss pie. That's the only pork that I miss is a pork pie. The sole thing, don't miss, I don't miss bacon, I don't miss anything, anything that has pork in it, apart from a pork pie. And it's purely because of the like,

the sort of the crust and the aspect there. Ah, hot water crust, I think. H.P. sauce, beautiful. H.P. wonderful, made in Holland, whatever. It's got as a parliament on it. Propossusages? Can't got proper sausages in America. What's the sauce? Nah, you can't get a fucking decent sauce. Mmm, that's our patriotism, Quo, so now we have to talk about all of the ways in which

the United Kingdom has to be destroyed, possibly by the ape. If you join forces with the ape, we're all fucked, yeah. That's true. Okay, fine, fine. What is a lesbian? Yeah. Um. So.

That's the reminder. I don't have a written a pay off for it yet. Um, like tip two thirds of the podcast. Yeah. Again, I define it vastly. Yeah. Yeah. The simplest argument to refute a lesbian prescriptivist is to simply have a lot of gay sex and not think about it too much. And while they're making so, while they're sort of making little comics where a fucking anthropomorphic dog goes, oh, actually, you're not allowed to call yourself a lesbian, meanwhile, you're blasting through he and pussy. You're fine, you know. It's fine. Hey, his little attention to that shit as possible. People like, I sound like, sapphic will, will, I'm actually specific,

a Vincian Achilian. Yeah, you're a Vincian Achilian, M-spec, sapphic, I really don't like the word sapphic in general, and I especially don't like the word sapphic as a plural. If you say sapphic, Stemine, Stem like, lesbian and bisexual women, to a word to me, the IKN is like a phone.

I think just because of drama school, if somebody says to me, I'm saphic, I'm like, you're like poetry, like, you're a Greek poetry, like, but it's not a problem, I saw it, I saw it in that post, the term, lesbian and I was like,

no, that's, that just reads just the S. be in some way. Yeah, yeah. At the same time, like, if that is you, if you're like, actually, I'm like, a staff, I can not let's be like, this is summarized my experience more, I could even, hey, very enough, not telling you like, what you should do, listener, because you're our actual friend, I mean, love you. Just saying like, well, well, that's been summarized, keep a simple. What we're saying is, don't fucking tell, turn, tell us what to do either, because we'll kill you.

Yeah, like that fucking chip. That's right. Here's time. We'll unleash a Jordy Bond in your genital direction. Oh, fucking lesbians. Shit. Fuck me, fucking problem with that. Let a thousand blossoms bloom, but I ain't spent any time on it because I don't

have enough new castle based knowledge to make the equivalent of the Bobcatadjoke. Yeah, I mean the Bobcatadjoke is phenomenal. It is good. Bobcatadjoke, but sadly there's no. Oh, let me just indulge you here. Oh shit. But I ain't spending any time on it because in the meantime, every three months, a person is taught a piece is by a crocodile in North Queensland. That was his rationale for not, for not like opposing same-sex marriage,

which he did later vote against when it came up. So he was just like, I'm not, I gave people a get married because. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not into legislating it, I let a thousand blossoms bloom, but I ain't spending any time on it because of the crocodile thing.

I mean, yeah, because once every three months someone is talking to pieces of crocodile, that's not very often. I mean, like, That's remarkably, that like, what was that for a year? Yeah, yeah, I mean, so fine, that's negligible to me.

Do you have the fight a crocodile every three months or a chimp every 12? I would take the chimp, I don't want to fight a crocodile. This thing's a fuck you right up. I'm not fighting a fucking crocodile. That boy is dinosaur, I'm not fucking him at all. You know, there's like videos of a crocodile like bellowing and like the fucking reverb

like splashes the water by its by its chest and I like this is I'm example of me. The thing about crocodiles is that they're God's perfect killing machines. They absolutely no more evolving left to do. They've had their chance. Sharks of the land. Yeah, they've declined it. They're like, no, I'm fine as I am. And every three months I can tear a North Queenslander to pieces. Oh, absolutely. Like, Saurosukeans were there. It was like a shitload of various kinds of crocodiles. They filled out all these niches, but you know what? Best still original baby.

That's right. Crocodile mode. Normal. It's fine. Original and best. Original and best. So also delicious. So delicious.

Black. Crocodile. Never had Cro and best. So delicious. Delicious. And crocodile never had a crocodile. Had really good. It's the weirdest. I'm asking my own question here of what the weirdest meat I've eaten is. Which for me is probably ostrich. Angeroo and crocodile Python. Yeah, I can't. Python.

Ostrich is nice. A horse isn't bad. Had a horse is fine. Yeah, I can't agree. Um, Python. Oh, by the way, uh, ostrich is nice. Horses isn't bad. Uh, had an interesting horse meat casserole. There is a restaurant in London that only serves exotic animals. If you are ever feeling like a fuck, if you want to put on your pith helmet and go, um, I did, I did once, uh, I did once take somebody is, uh, on a date there because we had a thing for being like decadent and evil and Karma punished us because at least surprising

And as as we leaned across the table to kiss she set her hair on fire with the with the candle And I said the most ink the most English thing I've ever said I was like darling you pitch me on fire Which I was quite proud of how smooth that was but that that was We quickly put it out and it was an amazing evening with delicious crocodile Wonderful insane to me George black and this is stick with me on this okay says when watching Penguins late last year, you noted that the four titular characters matched up with the three of you and our listeners. Sure. So the three of us being... Oh yeah. Skipper, Kawalski and Rico.

Rico. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was private, of course, being the listeners. but of course being the listeners. With. Just do it again. Slap the fruit. Work a day. Second half of the question. George McGress, with which of the four humors do you most strongly identify? Oh fuck.

Like, sapphic, a killic. Yeah, a bit of an invention. Okay, we've got a, we got black bile. We got yellow bile. We got- Hollow. LEM. Yeah, Colors Yellow Bile.

Right. And then we got blood. Yeah, I'm feeling quite sanguine generally. I think I could, I think I could perhaps be blood. Yeah. What emotion does that give you? Sanguine generally. I think I could, I think I could perhaps be blood. What emotion does that give you? Hot. I believe it's not hot. It's two things I'm hot and wet because the thing is the humors in humorism, there's like they have a they have a hot versus cold and they have a dry versus wet.

So blood is hot and wet. Yellow, bilis, hot and dry. Black, viola's cold and dry and Flemish, cold and wet. You just rattling the shit off. Listen, listen. You sitting there in a fucking like, plague doctors mask you. I do actually own one of those because I got it through a shit post at the beginning of reading from a compendium. Listen, listen, it's not, it's not, it's perfectly neurotypical to know whether you're...

Oh, yeah, that's typical. To know whether you're caloric sanguine melancholic or flamatic. Alex is like levitating off the floor, reading from the fucking dark holds like... I got so many orbs going at the same time. Oh, that's a lot of orbs going to be... Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. I'm like carving like runes and sigils and like flames. Yeah.

No. I'm collapsing the two Biles, because I think that's too many Biles, down into one just Bile, and I'm assigning that to the listeners to make room for come, which to me is the true feel for you. So the listeners are both caloric and melancholic. They're like sad but also angry. Oh, I'm melancholic actually. Yeah, maybe I'm melancholic.

I think I'm going to go with the angry one, the yellow bow one, because I'm playing a character at some point in the near future on stage, who at one point somebody says to them, what, drunk with collar? Because they're so, so angry. So hot and dry. Hot and dry. Hot and dry. Hot and dry, baby. Absorgarian asked,

if well, there's your problem existed within the James Bond universe. What events would there be episodes on? So, so many things. The Craig ones come first, am I, because he sabotages that aircraft launch. Does? Merika, Merika does.

Fuck, yes. Rocket fall down, Justin. Rocket fall down. Ros, explain the fucking amoon. Rake. Hearing Ros explain, Doctor like radiation filled through. It would also be. We get like slightly distracted and we end up talking about like train air breaks for

a half hour during the slide about you know Dave Batista kicking Lyrsido on the face. Oh, there's so there's so many. There's so, so, so, so. Basically, every movie has at least one thing that it would be unbelievably funny to me to hit a rose attempt to explain. You should do that on April 4th, that'd be quite fun. Yeah, maybe. We'll get both of you and we'll do a crossover episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, there's kill problem. Well, there's kill your James problem. Listen, I'm still I'm still riding the high of like my fucking alchemist moment there. If you want, if you want any, any polishes done, if you want any tingles,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm doing. Yeah. Also, I'm you and the same sort of same as your three Dias with the C. Oh, dear. Anyway, Hazel Smith here, baffling me, word to question who says, if you could only do one of the three things that Vargas doesn't do, it's a bit of a, it's a bit of a, stop. Stop and do what. Diagram this sentence out for me. So Vargas does not smoke does not drink does not make love. That's right. That's right. We can only do one of those three things. Of course Vargas does not drink does not smoke. I love the word. I love how he says that's not making it only. Does not make love.

Well, in keeping with my hot and wet temperament, I think I am going to choose to fuck, because that's what Vargas does. He doesn't. Vargas doesn't do, right? Yeah, so the question is if we could only do one of them. Yeah, he doesn't want, well, you know, which one would we do, obviously? Right. Alice does not drink.

Yeah, yeah. I'm taking, I'm taking drink. Yeah. Well, I quit smoking. I smoked really heavily thus accounting for this voice until I was like fucking 20. Honestly, I'm so, I've already, or already, yeah, take up smoking. So I've already quit doing that.

I don't smoke. If we're choosing drink to mean alcohol, I fucking barely do that either. So we're left with the one thing that I do do, which is fuck, I fuck, yeah, absolutely. I would also fuck, I think. Vargas Topak. The funny thing would be to stick.

It's standing down. I guess he doesn't drink. But but by God as he fuck. Jesus. I see the carqueels. He does not talk. He does not switch. We got fanboy, though, I guess. Jesus. New stick refuses to use it. It's very smart. I think it'd be very funny if I was like, I'll smoke only. I know girls like that. I think it has to be fuck as well. I think it has to be fuck.

Yeah. Cause if somebody said you can't ever drink again, I'd be like, well, that is a shame, but a bit after a while, I would miss it and the long one would probably be good for me. That's something that something a doctor might plausibly tell you, you know? Like, yeah, when I'm told to convert to Islam. Well, like sequentially or anything, I would like get drunk once, be like, oh, well, that was unpleasant.

Let's never do that for, you know, six, seven months, and then just sort of carried on like that, so. Some reason I kept, I went through a run of like dating girls who were very heavy drinkers. I had like three or four years in a row, I was just getting battered a lot. As in John. Oh, that was awesome.

But also the other thing. That was awesome. I could see that one like a plane coming in for landing. That was an accident, I did not mean to do that. But it was locked in on the fucking approach path in there. Friend of you, this is just fun to me. Friend of a show here asks, talk us through your pitch for hosting Eurovision.

Did you just name yourself Friend of the show? That's such an awesome idea. That's a form of the show. That's a nice idea, I'm very glad. I mean, all of you are friends of the show because you're our real life friends. Yeah. But, yeah, no, that's smart, that's smart.

What's our pitch for hosting Eurovision? I think the theme is gay James Bond. Just because it would, it would, it's the theme. That's the theme of every Eurovision. That is true. I mean, I mean, I mean, I would be in, I would be in some form of romper, you know, this to be true. Black tie romper would be very funny. I'm tempted me. Do not tempt me. I don't go to enough black tie. I'm simply trying to be the transgender petrometer. I would try, I would imitate her desperately. And I think it would work very well.

Transgender. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. The Swedish presenter, because she's the only good Eurovision presenter it's ever had. Everybody else has been shit. That's true. I think on Alice's behalf, I would make the theme to Eurovision Islam.

That's just the thing. I think it's extremely funny to all of like, because it would give an end to all those people who are like the creeping Islamization of Europe. It started with Eurovision. That's right. That's right. First, the transgenderism with Conchisa Vost

and now the Islam is easy. Yeah, she invented it. Is the thing. I'm not sure that's true. Yeah, both. The thing is, she is a devout Muslim. You can tell because the, you know, the beard as according to the sooner.

That is true. No, must act. She does as with just the chance to. The thing about hosting your revision is while I think it will be funny, I think that if I ever heard Graham Norton making fun of me, I would cry. I would do sort of the opposite in sort of an unusual role reversal for us here, Dave, which is you get sort of a drunk Graham Norton and the BBC press box going like, oh, that wasn't very good.

Was it? And you just look down and you see that I'm making my way off the stage. I'm just like, I'm in a walking pace just to get up there and be like, what the fuck did you just say about that? I'm dead, that'd be so funny. I can't go through the door while not on set. What are you fucking saying? Son of a bitch.

I got this chin here on the word of you. Oh, Graham, you're fucking bastard. Just not really quite guessing the interaction that Graham North and your official presenters are meant to have. I'm just getting genuinely quite angry. And you're being mischcribed. Oh, I'm trying to find out. I'm trying to find out.

I'm trying to find out. I'm not even writing this script. Graham, please. Oh, dear. I'm sort of running low, yeah. I've got a couple. Got a couple left and there are some emergency questions in the tank. Yeah, there are some nice low balls, which John Ningen here asks, given this podcast explores masculinity and in brackets and also children's movie stuff. Fuck up.

You, you... I'm like, I'm leaving the recording and going to this person's house. Go on, go on, go on. I just try to figure out if we can find these people's addresses. Sure, because I like it. I think you can. I think you put your address in the Patreon, which is very handy for me, proceeding at a walking pace towards you.

Like the fucking thing in it follows. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Good. Good. Do you feel a creeping sense of dread that one day you will have to watch the Fast and Yeah. Yeah. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good.

Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good.

Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good.

Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. this is the thing right now we're in season two. Now that we've all finished season one, we can now do every movie in the world, because we're talking about how does it relate to, is this enormous culture or sort of sociological phenomenon of masculinity, which is sort of like applied in various degrees of consent to like,

broadly half the population of the fucking earth. Yeah, we can, we can fucking do anything. And the one thing that we won't do is Austin Powers. That's our secret. Every movie says something about masculinity. Because they've all either got men in or they don't. Yeah. So when we, when we do end up doing the first and the furious, I mean, much like this podcast, the first and the furious movies are about family, right? That's the one thing I've learned from them. That is right. And also about Vin Diesel slurring all of his lines really badly. So I think we'll have, we'll have a good time with them. I think it'll be fine.

Because we're about family. It's about family and you, the listeners, are also our family. The thing about the first and furious thing is that we would do it like we've done Jason Paul we would just watch each of them. Yeah, no for sure and there are I think and oh my God, so that's so many fascinating So fucking many over two months God God Maybe like approaching Three four maybe God we'll be emmering Listeners as as we do movies that are like in the modern age with actors and producers and people who are still working You'll you'll hear me get like less and less critical of them

Because I like fuck I might like bump into this person. We're doing, that's why we're doing every movie chronologically. That's why you can badmouth George Mellier for doing voyage to the moon, right? Is, yeah, we're gonna be watching the train arrive. Yeah, exactly. And then go, oh, she's a lot of masculinity. Mm-hmm. And then man on that train?

Don't know, maybe. Yeah. Actually, fuck, do I still have, yeah, I do. Society. I know you do. You have shift from, you have shift from doctor, no. No, I've just been readily to hand. I mean, readily to hand, I also have

Senes Raulm strong from Metal Gear Solid Revenge and saying, mites. My. It's, it's, it's nice. It's nice. I was there when, when you created this this and I still don't really understand why it's because it's clipped. It's clipped through. It's my sources I fucking made it up and you've accidentally clipped just before I accidentally did one second of my and I just I was so challenged by that. I'm just I'm just keeping it.

Nice society. I can do. Oh, God. I decided. Yeah, would have been nice if I had that for fucking flushed away. Oh, well. Yeah. I feel left out. I feel left out. I know I have a million. A sequel. Yeah. I got million. I got left out. I feel left out. I know I have a millionaire sequel. Yeah, I got million hour, I got Riley based. So look, I think that it is based on this. I still have all of the like, they took my family, obviously. They took everything from me. No, they took my family. There was a new one of those recently, wasn't that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Earth's most divorced man got further divorced and complained about it also.

Do we have a question to end on? Do we have a question? Yeah, we've got a couple. Um, we've got a few, uh, you know what, let's, let's take a look at here. Um, it's fine. Just put the, put the, uh, who wants to be a million ahead of music over yourself. It's fine. Just put the who wants to be mailing that music over yourself. Frank Kettering, so that's not his name, it's Kettering, as Arabia is a weapon of a horny man and I've had a fat, which is of course a quote from, I'm a saffron. What have my favorite sentences I've ever said? What is the horneest form of combat? Wrestling. Easily.

See, I do think it's sword fighting. A bit, but sword fighting, you're not in let it absent a few very specific circumstances. You're not getting greased up to sword fight somebody. Hmm. Maybe you won. You're not going to grab me if I'm pretty tight. All the times I've ever fought somebody with a sword

I was wearing a shirt as well. Which was maybe my mistake, you know. Okay, that's a failing on your part. I don't know why you're... They don't let you wear the fucking little frilly shirts for like health and safety reasons while you're fencing, which is bullshit, frankly. Yeah, that's true. It's bullshit.

I think it is specifically, you know what, I can't say that. Yeah, there's a little website called, no, I can't say that either. Fuck. Shit. Sorry, I will tell Devon how that's what my actual answer is later on. For now, I'm going to say, it's also so funny. So funny. The horneest form of combat. I know what the third ask. which finishing moves from professional wrestling,

such as the Patista bomb, the Stone Cold Stunner, are in your opinions, one, most effective in real combat, two, coolest looking, and three, the safest to perform on a child. I feel as if one and three are pulling against each other. Does that have to be one answer? I don't believe I have to. I'm going to try and make it one answer anyway. If you want a universal wrestling move, the answer is clearly the people's elbow. That's why it's called that.

After they nationalized the rock and took all of his moves into public ownership. I have to rock when bankrupt. there was a run on the rock. And the check at the financial crisis. People in the Northeast were queuing around the block to get the money out of the rock. Matt Ridley was briefly sat. It was easy to do a run on the block. Yeah, I saw the theme park Amazon River movie

and I want my money back. So I'm gonna get my money out back out of the rock. And you can do that. You can head straight down to the back right now and go all of my money, please. Yes, that's right. It helps us to have a gun, unfortunately. Why? Because then if it's just turning into a crime, it's you don't agree.

I think you can go to a bank and you say, give me all of the money. I have a crime. It's your only crime. I think you're going to a bank and you say, give me all of the money. I have a gun. That changes the whole dynamic of that situation into one in which you're much more likely to get all of the money. You're kicking the door down of the bank, which is more difficult these days because they're typically glass sliding doors and all the bullshit. It's bullshit. Bank should be easier to rob. But I reckon if you can't kick them down and then you yell, I'm PG, but it's my fucking money. That's right. That's reason. I've never seen a professional wrestling,

so I don't know any of them. It's fine. It's one of the horneous forms of combat. That is true. But it also gave the world Hulk Hogan. So, you know, I think you could perform an RK on a child, and it wouldn't even be a problem.

DDT is a child. I think that these wrestling rules is that they aren't really supposed to actually like, you're too bad because it's your mates that do it. Do it, do it. Doing the kind of like outlaw wrestling stuff to a child where you're hitting them with fucking fluorescent light tubes. You've got like a bunch of hidden razors and shits.

I would hate to be hit with a fluorescent light tube in all honesty. I wouldn't enjoy it, but that isn't true. I was about to say, I was going to say, I was about to say, there aren't a lot of things I would enjoy being hit with, but that's false advertising. Such a fucking life. That's just a lie. That's untrue, yes. I'm just thinking of like British lads

who each of with chair. Nothing. No, that's a movie that has a lot to say about masculine. That's a lot of a form of contact. Yes. That's, that's, we just discussed British lads. I could do that now. I can picture every frame of that.

The fact that it was clearly in like the back of a terrorist house. The guy picking up the discarded cigarette. Oh yeah, he smokes a cigarette, toss it down, and then another guy leans over and picks it up. He drinks a bottle and throws it down, you hear it smash, and then when the guy falls over, he falls perfectly onto where you know the bottle went. Him getting lifted off the ground, looking like fall of Icarus. It's perfect. It's a perfect bit of cinema. Yeah, I think it is the highest sort of the highest

achievement of the whole art form. Wouldn't happen now kids be too much on their damn phones. That's right. You can probably be playing fort in large with a chair these days. And you know, wouldn't get made now, but be cancelled. That's right. That's right. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not.

You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You could probably be playing Fort Rich not. You couldn't get made now that'd be cancelled. You wouldn't get made now that'd be cancelled. You wouldn't get made now that'd be cancelled. Yeah. No. That's true. You could probably be pretty. Yeah. No. That's true. You could probably be pretty. Yeah. No. That God. Thank you for listening to the first bonus episode of the banquist of forgiveness. I forgot the site immediately forgot. The one that we used to sort of draw people into subscribing on the basis that, hey, check out this bonus content. It's good. It's not weirdly self-referential. It doesn't involve a lot of talk about. Okay. Okay, listen, it to be fair, increasingly the podcast is involving a lot of chat about

chips. That's true. You should do a chimp-focused movie. Do the fucking planet of the apes, really? That would actually be fucking right. You know what? You know what? You know what?

You know what, move it. We're taking a hard right turn immediately into season two. It's chimp season. All of the mainline episodes, chimp season,, chip movies. We're going to see different movies with different chimps. We're going to fucking, we're going to decide what they say about masculinity. And we're going to make a podcast. You're going to listen to it. You will. That's right. No, because the thing is is with the banquet of forgiveness, you are still going to get

two free bonuses. This one just happens to have gone out on the first of the month. So if we're, ah, why not? Why not? Take it. So we had a plan to do it in the opposite of the party. Yeah, but we'll get to that. We will do some animatism.

Yeah, we'll simply rearrange that for a different time. But in the meantime, we have been coaching on it. militantly transgender podcast. That's right. Subscribe to the podcast if you don't already. If you do, thank you. All of us are now leaving the stage and walking in your direction.

And we're all furious. From three different angles, depending on where you live. If you live in fucking Shroesbury, we're coming for you. Yes. Yes. Oh. Grimmed. We actually did that.

We briefly, when we were trying to decide, I'm sorry, I know the problem. No, it's not. It's not until I play with a fucking feeder. Even though we edit around that. We did, yeah, no, it usually gets cut, typically. We found the exact, like, geographic midpoint between the three of our houses and it's Shroesbury, like the middle of Wales, all of that place I think should stay.

And then when we posted this, so on DMed us to be like, yeah, my dad's the mayor of Shroesbury. I'm not doing it. No, I'm not going to hang on. Wait, can we get a key to a city if we do a left-shed? Ah! And no, we can't. So fuck. Ridiculous.

Fuck the whole place. Thank you. Goodbye. It's been a night on Shrewsbury Real Platform one time. Thank you for listening to yet another episode of Kill James Bond. And in fact, well, it's not really the first episode of Season 2, it's sort of the pre-show Season 2. Still, speaking of course of Season 2, that will be rolling out in exactly one week's

time on the free feed with Sireana. I'm very excited to crack on. Typically, at the end of the video, I would say thank you for being a patron, but it's highly possible that you are listening to this episode on the free feed. As part of our wonderful yearly banquet of forgiveness, where all sins are cast aside and we celebrate you, the hog, glorious and humble listener. But of course if you do want access to our entire backlog of bonus episodes you can still head on down to patreon.com slash killjames bond and join these hallowed halls.

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