Kinda Funny Gamescast: Video Game Podcast - New South Park! Ubisoft Press Conference Reactions! - Kinda Funny Gamescast (E3 2015)

Episode Date: June 16, 2015

All the biggest Ubisoft news of E3 2015! South Park! The Division! Assassin's creed! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Ubisoft E32015 press conference post analysis, kind of funny games cast. As always, I'm Tim Geddes. I'm joined by the coolest dudes in video games, Colin Moriarty, Greg Miller, and on my right slash left, depending on how you're looking, Alfredo Diaz. It's your right. It's my right. It's their left. Yeah, but you're saying you're right, so they know. Yeah, but I don't care.

I'm letting them know. I'm letting them know any direction they want. It's not just one direction here. You know what you want it. Oh. That's the way you need it. So we were talking about Ubisoft, running through a little bit of what we saw. Started off with South Park, the fractured butthole.

Great name. Really excited about that. UBSCol's conferences in general are just entertaining. Can we just... There's that. Then we got into a new IP called For Honor. That looked interesting. True enough.

Yes. Then we got the crew expansion pack called Wild Run. Then a Trials Fusion expansion pack called Awesome Level Max with a bunch of axes. which comes out July 14th. Why your lips wet? I put on chapstick. Really good chapsic. Your lips are wet like all up here, like almost like the mustache area is wet.

The word you're looking for there is moist. Oh, God. They're... Is it chapsic or was it lip gloss? It was chapsic. I'm so deliriously tired. Something else, guys. Then we got the division, beta next year, March 8.

Bita. Then we got Ano. Aeno. Ano. Aeno. Ono. Aeno. NNO 2205

It's like a city builder game But in space Building shit in space Do you like that? Yeah, look cool I'm not gonna play it probably But you like the space I like space I like space

Just Dance 2016 It's common Jason DeRillo came out and did a little jig It was really awkward It was really awkward It's like Jason come on man I didn't understand Then they announced Just Dance Unlimited

Which is a streaming service Which is something that even though that's not our game I like this I like the platform idea Of you can stream and do all that Yeah, that's a moneymaker. That's what we want everything to move to, right? Anything that's annualized.

Yeah, no game needed. It's just a platform-based thing, whether it's Xbox 1, PS4, or Wii U. So that's cool. They showed off Rainbow Six Siege, the new tarot-hunt mode. It's four-player thing. Terrorist. Terrorist. They called it Terrorist.

They did. You're hunting tarotards. Got to get rid of syllables and letters. Beta, September 24. These days, they got to go. They got to go. The demo was very intense. Very intense.

Super intense. Then TrackMania Turbo. It's coming to consoles. Apparently it's a PC thing that I've never heard of. I've heard of Trackmania. I've just never played it. I wrote my notes here literally whatever. Ah.

Cool. And then Assassin's Creed Syndicate. It was a cool trailer. Very... Whatever, man. But it's Assassin's Creed. I just don't care. And then they had a little surprise at the end with the Ghost Recon Wildlands.

Wildens. And the trailer, like, you know, took a long time to reveal what it was. It became increasingly clear as it went on. Who knew from the jump? Who knew from the jump? Alfredo Diaz. He knows the things. When he sees a gun.

He just gets all happy. He understands that gun. He's just like, oh, I know that gun. So my favorite games are Splitter's Cell, Rainbow Six, Ghost Recon. So I was like, oh, I think it's about time to show us to go street con. Bam. Yeah, it was at first, well, my, my instinct, my guess originally was that they're going to show watchdogs too, which they didn't. And then when they showed the skull and stuff, I'm like, oh, maybe Prince of Peria for about five seconds.

And then they showed dollar bills and cocaine or $100 bills and it's like, all right, it's got to be a perjee game. That's about to get, fucking nasty. I like that. Some people are claiming that the cartel leader has the tattoo on its face of the kind of funny logo. Our little smiley guy. I believe it. So we have a lawsuit. We have to say that.

Where there's cocaine. There's one man close behind it. That's 100% true. Yes. So let's jump to it, guys. Fucking South Park. Yeah. Oh my God.

This has been an interesting day because we did our predictions podcast last week. And to see what we were right about and what we were wrong about and the things that were like, oh, that will definitely not happen. It's interesting that some of those things are. happening and things that we thought were a shoe and like I think all of us agreed that watchdogs in some form was going to be shown I mean I made the thumbnail for the show that I'm now going to need to change based on watchdogs and that's it's interesting to me that we all were like oh there's no way there's a new South Park especially not like maybe they'd be an HD definitive edition type thing sure yeah it's four and Xbox one but there was like no way they were going to make an actual sequel

and then they did it was cool yeah I think that you know it's reasonable to expect that South Park was it going to be there since they explicitly said they have no interest in making another video game and that the development of their original RPG was torturous for them. And then certainly they had money thrown at them or something and they had the way. You know, like they said, they started to understand it at the end. And so they want to use those skills, I guess, to make a new game. So I was, I actually went to the bathroom at the beginning of the conference, assuming that they were going to open up and not really have anything interesting. Maybe they were going with a Sassie or something.

And I came back and they just talked about a South Barker region. I was like, you kidding me? But it's weird that they're going away from Obsidian. It's Ubisoft San Francisco. Yeah, and that's a little at this point. No disrespect to the Ubisoft, San Francisco, but I'm a little disappointed that they didn't say Obsidian was making. The Obsidian doesn't have, obviously, the resources to make it.

They're already working on, like, two games. But that was a little disappointed. I loved the gameplay so much of the stick of truth, that I really wanted that. I mean, like, they come out, it's more South Park RPG, which I'm already super excited about it, and then it's going to be one set in a superhero world. You know what I mean?

Where you're up against... Those episodes of South Park. Did you watch them? Yeah, where Butters is what, Captain Chaos is as in general disarray? Like, fuck, yes, that's awesome. So now we, everybody's gonna have superpowers, we're not doing stuff. Hell yeah, that sounds like a great RPG, one right up Greg Miller's alley. But I'm worried about the pedigree of Ubisoft SF.

They're not used to this. You know, they're not out there doing these kind of games all the time. Not that I'm knocking them. I feel like, and I don't know, I mean, because we just don't know anything about the game right now. It's been being made under our noses in San Francisco, but I was just there, like, right before I left IGN, too, which is funny, they were probably making. They didn't tell me any, no one tells me any secrets. You got it.

I feel like they could take the engine of the original game, since it, is looks like the cartoon. You can't really make it look any better than it looked. Right. So they already have the infrastructure. It'll run better on PS4 and Xbox 1 than it did on PS3 and Xbox 360. So that problem was solved. And then you just make the game and you make, you know, you know, you make your, you know, you code your differences, whatever,

and all that kind of stuff, your voices, and you make your art and your animations. But I feel like the structure is already there. And that was probably the most difficult thing because it is such a picture perfect version of South Park. They don't need to upgrade it to make it higher res. It looked like South Park already. You know what I mean? So like I feel like a lot of the work's already done. Dan Ran 98 says

Professor Chaos, Greg, God damn it. Profound Providence says, Professor Chaos, noob. So I just want to make sure everyone knows I screwed up. Colin, you can happen. I felt like, oh, Professor Chaos was it? General Disarray. General Disarray. Yeah, general disarray.

I like that one. So, yeah, that was a huge surprise. Like the Jaffe moment, we were talking about in the pre-show when he said Twist the Metal wouldn't be at E3 and that it was. This was a thing that, you know, they said that they didn't want to do and had no interest in doing. And so it was reasonable to expect it would never happen. So, I mean, I don't think anyone could have possibly. guess this in a reasonable way, but there it is.

And that's probably, honestly, the biggest surprise of the entire UB conference. and certainly the game I'm looking forward to the most. Yep. Yep, yep, yep. That is definitely, I think, the biggest surprise, even though Ghost Reconna, I don't think anyone really expected to be there. But I think the biggest surprise to me was the lack of UB. arts.

Yes. I thought, yeah, even a weak prediction I put out there couldn't come true because the best trailer's clearly South Park. I totally was disappointed in no Ubi Art game. Nothing crazy. No valiant hurts too. Nothing. Well, they're not, I mean, how would they do that?

They tell me a different story in a different war. Come on, Colin. It's not that hard. But it would be a dog again? It doesn't have to be a cat. Do we ever use monkeys in a war? Yeah. Yeah?

Which war? Space war. Here, you say the biggest surprise, Tim. I'll tell you the biggest surprise. They're talking about the division. They say it's a multiplayer at its core. Yeah. And at some point, after Colin got done,

Belli Aiken and bitching about it. I turned to him when I'm a little bition. like, it looks like you're going to have to play this one with me. And he turned to me and he said, this might be one we have to play together. I did. It just looks. That's, you know, are you already playing a multiplayer game? It just looks too good. But I still feel like I'm going to be able to play at least parts of it by myself. There's an interesting comment I want to read out because this is maybe the weirdest comment I've read all over. Here we go, everybody. Get ready. This is from the dark Katsuki Knights. He says, Colin, you are a biased fan boy guy who thinks they should scrap Batman. What an

idiot. What does that mean? Remember last time you were saying we should scrap Batman. There shouldn't be any more Batman games. When did I say that? You said, if I remember correctly, correct me if I'm wrong. You said you played the first 10 minutes of Arkham Asylum and said, scrap this whole series. Oh, yeah, definitely said that.

You're a big time fan of scrap. I'm trying to figure out, is there a riddle in this? I want to read it again. You are a biased fan by guy who thinks they should scrap Batman. What an idiot. There's certainly a hidden message in this somewhere. I love the Batman games. I'm trying to figure out.

I'm trying to figure out. I'm trying to figure out. Well, I'm going to come back to you with the dark Katsuki Nights, because I feel like you're trying to tell me something. Let us know in the comments that are Dark Kusukenans. I feel like you're trying to tell me something. I've been reading the comments as we go, usual kind of array, and I saw that one, and I'm like,

this doesn't make any sense. And I want to read it aloud, and we're going to figure out what it means. We're going to side his head eventually. Remember, that's a comment from twitch.tv.com. Where we stream each and every day. Today on E3 Monday, we're doing one giant stream that never ends except for when Twitch Twitch exploded.

And of course, this is being uploaded to YouTube. If you're up over on kind of funny games on YouTube, thank you for watching. Please subscribe. Yeah. So here's the thing I want to say

about the division real quick. Lay on me. I'm serious know that we read that funny comment. What I like about the division as a native New Yorker is that there's been since 9-11 there's been kind of,

New York's kind of sacred, right? No one wants to fuck around with New York. And I like, and I appreciate and respect that. I like that the division's finally like, okay, and the division's not the first game or property. to do it, but New York's not off limits anymore. And in fact, we're going to have a fucking complete catastrophe in

New York that wipes almost everyone out there. And I like that. Nothing should be off limits to fiction. And I say that as obviously the son of a New York, a retired New York City firefighter and a New Yorker, that, you know, I feel like this is something that resonates with me, that we can go back to New York. It doesn't have to be some fictional country, doesn't have to be some fictional city or somewhere else, somewhere in the Middle East or in Asia or wherever you want to be. It's in New York City. And I feel like I love that about that. It's about time somebody guys took you back down a notch. Because I tell you what, before 9-11, everyone in America hated New Yorkers.

God, you were annoying. And then that happened. I'm like, ah, fuck. We're all together. Yay. We're still very annoying. Well, that's the thing. Now we're getting back to you guys just being annoying. I like the bagels and the pizza and the hockey nobody cares about. There's so many islands. There's a few islands. There's a long island. There's a Staten Island. There's a Manhattan island. That's basically it. I mean, that's more islands than I've ever seen. Brooklyn and Queens is on a long island. Before we move on to the next game, I have a very special announcement to make. Ladies and gentlemen, we've crossed 100,000 subscribers on Kind of Funny Games.

Thank you. That's our second YouTube channel. Thank you all for taking care of us, supporting us over there. If you weren't part of that first 100,000, get in there and be part of the first million, we are building up. It's going to be good. It's going to be real good. We get that YouTube plaque now. So this press conference was really interesting.

We hit that a while ago. It was such a Ubisoft press conference. Yeah. Aisha is out there doing it. Yeah. I used to do something saying fuck 10 million times. Yeah, what does she care? Yeah, she's doing her thing.

But it's interesting to me that they didn't show a lot of the stuff we thought they were going to. And they didn't have the same problem that EA's conference did where, like, it was too much of a lull. But I was, I feel bored in this one, a bit more than I was in... In U.B? Yeah, I was... Really? I actually thought they were... It was tight, and it was...

They showed the games they needed to show. With the exception of... What do I have here? Just Dance I don't care about, but I understand that. they need to talk about that. I mean, Just Dance is so big that they're still releasing it on Wii. You know, I think that's coming out in 2015, the fall of 2015 won't be on Wii. So I think that, you know, I understand why they talked about. And my notes, with the

exception of, you know, they spent just a little bit of time on the crew, a little bit of the time on trial's fusion. I don't care about that stuff. The only thing that'd spend any time on that I just didn't really give a shit about was Trackmania, but I understand that people like that game. It's a big game. Sure, sure. So you have to spend time with that. I thought that this was 10 times better than the A's conference in terms of engagement personally. I agree 100% with that. Are you comparing it two EAs, you're saying that was more boring for you? No, I mean, I guess really what comes down to is for me, I'm not really going to play any of these

games. Maybe South Park. Like, South Park's the one that I'm interested in. Okay. It doesn't grab my attention. Whereas EA Leaks Mir's Edge and Star Wars, like it had that for me. But this, I don't know. The press conference was better overall. Yeah.

But it lacked so much for me. It lacked the... It had Jason DeRula. It did have Jason. I don't understand why it was... I think it's just... They're not your type of games. They're definitely not your type of games.

But still, like, I wanted the UB. Arts games. So, Jason Derulo was there. You missed it, Nick. Hope your meeting was worth it. Making sure everything works. No.

Ubisoft, dude. Everyone was really, everyone was really confused. We're about to bring out Jason DeLrulo. Please, everyone shut down streams and footage. No. No. That sounds like for that one.

Talk dirty to me. That's the one that starts with the JSON. I don't understand. They start the whole conference off with just, it went and goes to black. No one can really hear you. I don't know. They didn't, but

Jason DeRula. Now, Alfredo. What's up? Are you ready to go, now that you're on camera, confirm you're going to play the division on PS4 with me? Oh, Lord. You know what? I will do it.

Thank you. You want to hug it out here? Hug it out by the sign, everybody. This is the peace conference for the division. The peace conference for the division. Okay. I didn't realize. We had some press conferences at a peace conference today.

We won one. I guess we got to do it like this because we're so big. Now we can just do this. We won one, huh? There you go. Trofees. That's going to be a very, very interesting stream, by the way. I feel like it's going to be a lot of tension between...

Here's the next thing. Greg and I, and then Colin's just going to come out on top. Here's the thing I'm going to say to you right now. I'll win. And I'll look you in the eye because that's what brothers do. Okay. I will never turn on you when we play together. I will never do it.

Yes, of course. But you and I will never turn on you. Will you ever turn on me? I won't turn on you. I won't ever turn on you, ever turn on you, ever. But I mean, like, I'm always going to be front-facing you, though. Here's what I think we should do. Uh-huh.

And I'm dead serious. What we should do is every time we finish the match, we should go back to back and then spin clockwise. That's true. I like that. Badass. Well, here's the thing you have to understand. Greg just swore on Portillo. Now, Portillo is at least 90% dead already.

He's a purebred weiner dog and he's over 10 years old. So this bet doesn't mean anything. By the time the division comes out, he'll be more like 95% dead. At which point you really have nothing to long time. I'm not going to play. I'm not going to be playing the division until he's 100% dead. if he's 95% dead when he comes when the division comes out i'm not going to think that extra 5% i'm going to play like what nine more months 10 more months i'm just saying that the bet doesn't

it's not like this is a new warm pup here you know with you have a lot riding on this i think colin's trying to turn us here's what i'll tell you right now already on on portillo's life and a dog to be named later oh my god next dog i won't turn on you ever in the this isn't an n-fx jeet turn on me great playing it as a lot Greg's having a dog to be named later. He's the general managers. She's letting you know how much I don't care about me and Fredo being the best division team in the world. All right, what I want to talk about is what we think about this game for honor that Ubi Montreal is working on.

I kept saying to Greg, I'm like, this looks really pretty, and then I'm like the camera angles are making me really nervous. You kept thinking they're going to pull it out. Yeah, I'm like it's a mobile, oh my God, get out of it. But it's not, but it's more of like a medieval combat game. Four and four it looked like, or I don't know if you can play it with more or less or by yourself. Very pretty game, but again, I think. feel like there's all these games that emphasize, we were talking about, we've talked about Evolve so much, like a game that's going to do fine probably, but I feel like this is

going to rubber band at some point, this whole notion that you have to have someone to play with everyone. It's too much. Sure. You know, it's just, I'm sorry, it's just too much. No one, what about the sanctity of the single player campaign? You know what I mean? That's why I was so happy with Fallout 4, but that's one thing we didn't talk about. Maybe they're going to fucking spring that on us. But no multiplayer. Yeah. No co-op. You know, I couldn't believe it, actually, I get my mind, and I just forgot to bring that up. So I feel like Ubisoft's going the other direction because when you look at all these games South Park will be single player probably but for honor the crew

Charles Fusion the division Assassin's Creed just dance Rainbow 6 Ghost Recon these are all multiplayer games yeah you know and it's like at some point that's maybe a little too much now yeah I mean a little too much so I like that they came out and you know admitted

that they can suck at times you know they had fun with it yeah Ubisoft's been pushing that agenda for a while but they were the first people I think to in my mind start cementing the idea that next gen, or this current gen now, is going to be all about cooperative play. You're out there doing things with other people. And they're sticking to it. That's their mantra. They're biting in.

Alfredo, you know French. What is biting in in French? Yeah, I got you on that one, Greg. Oh, I'm sorry. No clue. Sorry. But Ghost Rican, though. Les all phones steady. Oh, man.

I thought it was a good conference. I thought it was cool. You were such a hate. I think you're crazy, Tim. I think that conference was way, like, leaps and bounds better than... Chat, here's what I want you to do right now, chat. In the chat, say Ubisoft,

if you think Ubisoft is better, EA if you think EA was better. That's how we'll decide. Who the hell would choose EA? I thought Tim was just saying that compared to EA. I'm not saying it was a better conference. Ubisoft had a better conference, for sure. Okay. So then here's what I want you to say.

Either fuck you, Tim, or fuck off Tim in the chat. That's what I need to say. Thank you. Because I don't even know what you're saying anymore. I don't even know what the point you're driving at is anymore, Tim. Some people are pointing out. I'm looking at it now. Assassin's Creed Syndicate, shockingly doesn't have multiplayer.

Really? I still don't believe it. But there's all these interviews saying that they're not doing it. So that's great. It's good news. Yeah, yeah. So that means that, all right, so let's go through the list again. So it's for honor, the crew, trials fusion, the division.

Just Dance, Rainbow Six Siege, Ghost Recon, Wildlands, all multiplayer game. So we'll remove Assassin's Street that leaves. Anos, certainly, there's probably single and multiplayer. Like, you know, like shared world kind of stuff. South Park probably not getting me a single player and then Trackmania Thanks chat

I love it This is great So many asterisk in my name I'm gonna assume the asterisk You had it coming when you said that Are a bunch of hearts That's not very nice Why you send him the dog's on Tim?

What do you mean? He's got a great share He's a young man He's gonna pick him down a night Tim's a young man He's only taking selfies Consistly like I don't know if you know about this

I appreciate you standing up for me Colin But I am a punk ass bitch You are a punk ass bitch I'm not I'm not denying that you're a punk ass bitch All I'm saying is that You're a young man You don't know

know what you're getting yourself into with Greg. He's an animal. He's a wild man. He is wild hunting. And he says a lot and now he's doing this with his tongue. That's what wild people do. I can't believe there's like 13,000 people watching this right. Here's what it comes down to is that I give it, I give it hard all the time to Nick Scarpino. Wait, well, yeah, that's right? I give it hard to Nick Scarpino all time. Every time we do the game where we're Gregie show, he complains about how hard I am on him, right? And it's because he's a husk of a man, he's got no life left in him. So then you start going to the other end of the second. So okay, let's go into the life percentage. Where's Nick at?

On the Fortillo's at 90 How close Nick is to death? Nick, do me a favor? Stand right here for this for just a second. Just right here. You can't be in Camering? I just want to look at him. Yeah.

Nicks. Oh my God. You just flex the peck. Give it to the camp. Come on, do a little kneel in front of the camp and give me all peck dance. Oh, Jesus Christ. It's gross.

Now this is, this move shows incredible dexterity. And this move shows incredible agility. Nick's still about half dead 50% Because what we were saying was Portillo is at least 90% dead Yeah, he's 95 Would you say you're about 50% dead at this point?

Yeah I'm about half Okay, good Is it a good half? Okay I will say this Thank you, I appreciate that See once again confirm

Has this been seen? Colin Moriarty The only one of us Without a baby dick Oh, huge thing I mean it's like Show me what it is It looked at the troth today

It looked kind of like this Lots of girth That's what the difference was Wait so this is this yours Hold on hold on hold on Okay Our name bars are covering Can't even see that

Is that how baby the baby dick is Kevin's moving and hold on All right so let's We need a baby dick Kind of He's getting hold on He's moving stuff from Kevin's doing stuff Kevin's gonna wipe him now

So what we have here This is this is Knicks And he's got girth He's like it's like the base of a redwood And what we have here Is apparently me which is, you know, a little more slender. Is this accurate?

I've got the lake going for you. Here's what, I mean, here's what it really comes down to, and this is the thing we did. Tim just said it. Tim just said it, right, that everyone in kind of funny has a baby dick but Colin. Is it just that Colin's dick is so large that everyone's dick looks like a baby dick compared to? That's a good point. I've never thought about that. You need something to put the scale.

We need that banana again. It's like when you put a quarter next to something that show how big it is. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, but here's the thing, though, the tiny condoms that you buy. Great. But again, Colin's, the one ordering me the tiny condoms.

So maybe the him, regular condoms are tiny condoms. Greg does need, I've explained it before. You take the latex glove. Yeah. The pinky of the latex glove and you cut it in half. Yeah. And that's what we're basically ordering on special. I tie it off with a little piece of thread. It's all per lot. There's no elastic there in the band to make

it stick together. What's wrong, Nick? I'm pretty sure that you just started a conversation about phoenixes. So I don't know if the camera angle really matters I like it. Jason! I don't understand! So, Ubisoft.

Good show. It's cool. I'm gonna go from hard to soft. Yeah, Ubisoft. So let's settle this once and for all. Okay. Is it Ubisoft or Ubisoft? It's By-Saw.

It's Ubisoft. So this is another thing when we talk about, like, I always said, Ninja Gaden Forever and stuff like that, Mario. As a kid, before you heard anyone say it, I always thought it was Ubisoft. And that's what I said for years. It's short for ubiquitous. So it's Ubi like that. You ubiquitous.

Yeah, I wouldn't have seen that. Yeah. But nobody cares. As long as somebody's fucking happy that you're talking about their games. I used to Tyler made up every French name she said out there. Yeah, but it sounded so right. Right?

Yeah. Like les en font sterile. Yeah, for the longest time I couldn't pronounce assassin. What did you say? What did you say? Oh. Really? That's not true.

That's just how I remember to spell it. Oh, okay. I knew it was assassin. Someone was asking Mizi 5-02 says, why is Colin ordering Greg Connums? You want to tell the story about that? Somebody's got to. Go and tell the story about it. All right, so this one time I had run out of condoms.

And as you know, I'm the CEO of kind of funny. Everybody's wives and families, they look to me for this. So I was so busy trying to negotiate a billion dollar deal that I had to give my shopping list to Colin, who then went to Amazon and ordered everything I need. But the problem was that the ones I ordered... You ordered me too big. They were too big. They were too big.

Well, I just have so much sex that I need to get them in crates. Yeah. Oh, that makes sense. He needs that two-day shipping. But we in San Francisco, Colin can't drive a car. I can't give them that kind of thing. They can't give them that kind of responsibility. hashtag prime.

I'm definitely not going to drive a car. All right, let's talk more about you. We yourself games. So the crude DLC we don't care about, really. And Trials Fusion DLC, we don't care about. Wild Run is the crew DLC and awesome level maxes. The Charles Fusion DLC. Those are really not interesting to us,

but I'm sure they're going to be fine for fans of those games. Yeah. The Charles Fusion thing was trying a little too hard, I think. I don't come off too negative about it because it's like, I enjoy things to try hard. If you don't notice, I'm wearing a freaking sweatshirt that has Mickey Mouse all over it. But that trailer was a little...

I think it's trying to art. Okay. Personally. Again, I am a punk-ass bitch. I need that to be reaffirmed. But I think that trailer went a little too far. It's like, oh, here's the internet likes cats and unicorns and fire. Let's put them all together, you know?

But people will enjoy it. So I'm happy for that. Fans of the genre. All right, let's talk about Assassin's Creed Syndicate. Real quick. I want to throw this out because you keep skipping it and I was over there trying to fix it. You skip past Aano. Aano.

Oh, Aano. I know. 22.5. Yeah. I'm looking forward to that. Some people in chat Rasmu. They know I'm a SimCity fan. That's all I'm saying.

Is it now in Japanese? A know. A know means that like is um. Or like you're thinking. When a Japanese person says, you know, an no. And then say something. That's like us saying,

uh, spring. So I wonder if that has anything to do with this game. It doesn't, but I was just wondering. You think that this is a Japanese developed game that they asked them what's the title? And they went, uh,

and they're like, oh, and they're like, Ano, it's like, uh, 20205. And they're like,

oh, okay, you spit it out. The game looks cool. It's a city builder some sort. I don't know. Anna is a series that exists, as far as I understand. I'm interested to see, but I mean, I don't play these games,

so I don't have any useful insight. The thing about our coverage of games, is that we try to be honest about, we're totally honest about our preferences and our console preferences and all these things. So you can kind of take and leave whatever we say. And for this, I have no useful insight whatsoever. You know what I mean?

Okay. All out. Yeah. So Anno is just representing a year. I'm just saying that I'm looking forward to that game. That's something I'm going to have my eye on. What are you going to have on? My eye on.

Good, good, good. My eye on. And someone was saying Ano for Anno Domini, which makes perfect sense. So that makes perfect sense to me. Why they would call it that. Okay. Sorry. Now, moving on.

You want to talk about Assassin's Creed. Yeah. Assassin's Creed Syndicate. Now, I was going to tweet it out, but I just wonder. And I don't want to say this because I just, I'm trying not to be negative about things. I don't understand what the fuck is even going on in Assassin's Creed anymore and why it's so intriguing to people.

You know what I mean? And then I was thinking about it on the other side that I wish that a series that I loved so much, whatever that series might be. They just gave it the annualized treatment, and I just loved playing it. So I understand both sides where Assassin's Creed fans, and there's millions of them,

are buying these games every year and they're getting the fucking red carpet treatment by getting these games every year. And on the other side, I'm like, I just don't get it. I wish they'd walk away from it for like five years and just be done. Sure. And then come back and do something special. So I'm curious like what you guys think of it because it looks pretty.

I love the Victorian setting. Yeah. It was interesting for me because I was editing a little bit while the conference is going on. So maybe that was why I wasn't as into it, by the way. But I was looking up every once in a while. And for a while I thought it was the order. And I'm like, wait, what the fuck? So there's that.

And it takes place in 1868 instead of 1886. There you go. But it did look interesting to me. And UBS or not Ubisoft. Assassin's Creed trailers have always intrigued me. And the game plays just not for me. I'm a Prince of Persia guy. And when it kind of moved on, it just got a little too complicated.

And I was just, it wasn't into all that stuff. But whenever I see the trailers, I'm always like, why don't I like these games? Because this does look cool. That's the thing. And we've talked about this for fucking years now. Is that Assassin's Creed always looks awesome. It always nails the aesthetic. It nails the presentation.

It nails the story. It doesn't play right. You know? Like, that's like, I'll never drop that as long as I live. And when people, and when I played AC3, and that which was the last one I bothered I was like man oh man this is such a fucking waste you know because

I wanted I there was your game there are a few games that have ever come out that I wanted to like more than Assassin's right right right right sent your favorite time period and yeah oh my god I was I was over the moon by it but I got about halfway a little more than halfway through I'm like I can't fucking play this anymore I just I'm just I'm not into it and I went back and as I saw

as many people know I went back and platinum to Assassin's Creed too to prove that I've spent a ton of time with these games so I can at least judge them going forward but now I'm kind of neutral on it because I've not played black flag and I've not played, you know, the newer ones, comet, whatever that, rogue, whatever that ended up being called, but no, code name anymore. So, will they fix the combat? I don't know. It just does not sink up with me. Well, what happens if they fix the combat? That was good. Would it bring you back?

It would. I feel like they need to, like, that style of combat is something that Batman perfected, which is kind of like the reactionary kind of combat where you're waiting and you're plotting or whatever. But for me, Assassin's Creed would play better if it was Arcady. you know, Ninja Guidon-like, almost, something like that, or God of Warlike. You know, like, something that's not that he's, like, overpowered like that, but I'm saying, like, you know, sword swinging and kind of moving around fast or whatever. As opposed, I just, I don't, I'm not feeling that way.

Well, we always talk about, right, and it's the same thing that you brought this up when we started playing the Witcher, and you were, you started playing it before I did, and you were talking about what you didn't like about the controls, right? And it was the fact that you have that sense of momentum in where it's not one-to-one, where you're like, now I'm going to stop doing something, I'm going to stop, right? Like in the Witcher or Assassin's Creed, you want to stop running, they slow the character down. So even if you want to like just stop on a dime, you go past the point you're trying to do. And in a game like Creed, where you're climbing up everything, running around, chasing people down, narrow passages and all that stuff.

That's where it gets cumbersome for you. Yeah, and it's more than that even because I can forgive it in Witcher because Witcher is actually so immersive and so good that the combat, which I think, is really not very good. I can overlook it Because it doesn't really emphasize even combat in the game You fight a lot, but you're not, I'm running around I'm, you know, my fucking horse Doing all sorts of You're fucking the horse

You're not fucking the horse I'm not fucking the horse, I'm running on the horse While he runs I'm running around on the horse Okay On the fucking horse Like this Yeah, horsing around

And galloping Or cantering, right? Depending on how, depending on how far off the dog Cantering is a big part of it Strut if you will Yeah, I mean if I'm going into town I'm going to be galloping up up and down the streets or I'm going to can't or I'm going to draw some attention to myself.

You know what I understand? But there's so many things that kind of keep you engaged in that world of the Witcher where it's like, well, there's side quests to complete all these kinds of things. And Assassin Street has some of that ancillary stuff in it, at least the ones I played. But not enough of it for me to overcome. I mean, if a game set in the American Revolution couldn't grab me from front to end, it's just not going to happen. So I've come to accept that I'm not going to bang the drum about my dislike of Assassin's Creed anymore

because it's just not for me. Clearly it is for millions of people. And I'm sure Eves Gilmott and those guys are keeping a very close eye on the sales and seeing if they should keep annualizing. Because the one thing Greg and I have always appreciated about Ubisoft and Eve's Gilmount specifically is that he just says what he thinks. And he said, like, we make Assassin's Creed. And I'm paraphrasing, we make Assassin's Creed because you buy it every year. Yeah. You know?

So I'm sure syndicates going to sell millions of copies. It'll be totally fine because people like it. But I don't. I need to revisit Assassin's Creed. I dropped off after two and like I didn't like the combat and how it felt. And then the storyline we pulled you out, and I was like, this is really weird and very sciencey and, like, sci-fi out of nowhere. I wish they would just drop it all together. Templars versus the assassins.

That part never really caught on. Do you think of reboot is in the future? Of Assassin's Creed? I don't know. And I don't think it's telling the story. The thing I was thinking about during Syndicate is now it takes place 1868. It's an industrial revolution. This is when you start having repeating rifles and all sorts of things that are going to totally break the combat in that.

game. So what are they going to do? Because the next logical step from there is maybe World World War I or something like that. At some point, Assassin's Creed has to change radically if they want to finish the story in the present day. And I think that they'll probably finish the story and then maybe leave it alone and then go back and reboot it in the future. But that was the thing actually that was going through my mind the whole time is I'm like, all right, now they have six shooters. Yeah, it's especially going to catch up. Yeah. And you know, in the Civil War, in America, which took place a few years before Assassin's Creed Syndicate, I mean, that's when repeaters and and gaddling guns were introduced and stuff like that.

Like, how do you play a game like that? By the time you get to like World War II or Vietnam or something, like how the fuck is the game even going to play anymore? Yeah. And so those are creative things that they need to, and I'm sure will overcome. But I was super interested in that in my mind more than what I was even seeing on the screen. I have no idea what the fuck's going on. It seemed like Assassin's Creed was always building to, you know,

you were going to catch up or take over the modern day, right? What was it? Not Destin. Desmond. Desmond was going to have his own game, right? And then spoilers. He dies, right? He's dead.

So it's like, well, what the fuck are we even building into anymore? Now we just walk around a first person, putting on animus and doing all this stuff. And then when we played Assassin's Creed Liberation, right, in the Vita, that was the first one that it was where it's like, hey, you're just putting it getting into this thing and doing this thing. And don't worry about your story, modern person. And they're like, all right, come. I could kind of just do that. I don't need all this stuff. You know what I mean?

Yeah, and people are saying in the comments, because I don't know, I don't feign to know enough about Assassin's Creed to know if this is true enough. But they're saying there is no story to continue without Desmond, but I don't think that that's true. Isn't it like what's happening today? What ties in why they go into the animus and then go back? And they've been progressing chronologically through all the games, no? I thought so, but I mean, you and I are in the same boat where I've just stopped playing them. I'm just, I'm done. I mean, I'm super interested maybe this is the straw that broke the countless back at the very least what we were talking about with Call of Duty earlier.

Yeah. Where the games aren't selling badly at all. They're doing great, but they're somewhat plateauing now. They're not, they're not like marquee event thing anymore. Yeah, exactly. They'll do their 15, 20 million, of course, but they're not, it's not like year-of-year 10% growth or whatever or Grand The Auto numbers, because they don't treat it with enough care. That's why Rockstar makes an event of Grand Theft Auto Auto because they could easily annualize that. Easily.

You know, they could hire anyone would fall over themselves that fucking make a Grand Theft Auto game with their engine. They don't do that. Grand The Total Five was an event because it came out, you know, five years after Grand Theft Auto 4. And I would wonder what an Assassin's Creed game or a Call Duty game or anything like that would look like if they gave it the love and care and the time that was necessary to distance itself. from what was already done, but they don't have the financial luxury of doing that. Publicly owned companies, you own these, you fucking beat them into the ground,

and they're unapologetic about it. Yeah. They gotta make money. Yeah, I mean, it makes sense, I understand it. We're business owners. Yeah. Small business owners. Right.

We're being our financials. We're being our stupid shit into the ground real quick. Yeah, I was gonna say, our financials are similar to Ubisoft, a bit different. Yeah. But Aisha, Tyler will be hosting this kind of funny press conference. Sure, that'd be great.

That'd be great. What else is, I'm looking, all right, so, Anna, Assassin's Creed, Rainbow Six. Yeah, Alfredo. So Rainbow 6, Vegas, is one of your favorite games of all time. Yep. Is Siege grabbing you in that same way? Yeah, for sure. It goes back to just, kind of reminds me of like Counterstrike and old school Vegas or like a lot of games nowadays is like run, like spawn, like spawn, die, spawn, die, spawn, die. This one's more like, you know, slow pace, like work against a team.

You have one life to live. It's a lot more suspenseful. I like how they show Terrace Hunt though. So like a different aspect to like Rainbow because we've gotten hands-on with multiplayer. So I was like, cool. There's terrorist hunt. And they were going to call it terror. Terah hunt. What is that?

It's a compound word. It made up compound word. There you go. And then we got a glimpse of the story, which is cool. But I mean, like, yeah. And I'm excited for it. I think it's good. I think a lot of, like, Rainbow fans are happy with this.

Because this is exactly what we want. Every time you see the game, it looks beautiful. Like, it looks fun to play. Now, granted, because every time you ever does a multiplayer demo, it's that, all right. Well, I'm going to flank left. You go right. Oh, my gosh.

All right. Now I've nailed two guys on them. Usually it's Nick, like you would be talking about penises or whatever. So like when you get into that moment of siege, I think, with your friends. And it is like, oh shit, you're just blowing the walls apart. You're like, fall back on. They're blowing it through the ceiling. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's going to be awesome. What do you think about it? They were talking about it a little bit earlier. We already hugged. We already talked. Well, I know, but like, like, Alfredo, is this something that, like, you feel? You love destiny. I really.

I really. No, I got kind of like a destiny vibe when the, when they were just, they're doing their own thing. and then all of a sudden, like, other people came and they're like, oh, what are they going to do? Like, what's going to happen here? So I kind of got, like, a destiny vibe from that, which was cool. But I don't know.

I'm still trying to figure out, like, exactly, like, I get what the game is. I just don't know, like, I don't know. I guess I want to know more about it. So I really understand, like, really, like, what it is. I don't know if that really makes sense. I'm just kind of trying to grasp my head around, like, the whole entire concept, like what everything's going to look like, and you know what it's going to flow, I guess.

It's what I'm trying to get at. But I'm going to play the hell out of it. I hope it doesn't suck. I feel like it can easily just fall off. So we'll see. I'm curious, you know, I'm going to go pee in a minute, before I do that. That's what you're curious about? I'm not curious by that.

I was just, that was like a, you know, I put like a double dash there. Like a 7-9? Oh, man. Oh, no, Greg. Now you're getting into the weeds. Now you're getting into the weeds, correct. I'm curious how we would so far rank. Let's see, so we have Bethesda, Microsoft, EA and UB so far.

I'm curious like how we would rank them from best to worst. Microsoft won by a mile. Yes. Just a mile. A master class on the day on how to do. do it. Then Uby, then. Really? Yes. What about Bethes? You put Ubi over?

I thought we were just doing today. I'm sorry. I thought you said today. I apologize everybody. Then it goes Microsoft, Bethesda, UB. Yeah. Yeah, I would agree with that. I would say even Microsoft, Bethesda, UB, 7,000 other things, and then EA. It's true. It was a bad press conference, but it had good games. It did have good games. And they did have good games. And they kept promising that the good games were going to come at the end. Yeah. We have Star Wars. We have Star Wars. We have Star Wars.

Yeah, but it makes you sit through so much. Sure, sure. But what abs? What abs? What are you gonna do? Can't do nothing? I gotta go peevee. Yeah, we could. Any final thoughts on?

Do we talk about Ghost Recone? Oh yeah, go pee and then we'll talk about Ghost Recone. Or we can start talking about Ghost Recone. Give me two minutes. Everybody, we're gonna let Colin P for two minutes. While he does that, I'll remind the Twitch audience, thank you for watching. Twitch.tv.tv. slash kind of funny games.

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Tell you what. How you doing, Greg? I'm good, man. Good. We're to that part. Yeah. Where now my eyes start to dance. It's Christmas for Greggie as we get ready for another PlayStation

conference. I mean, here's the thing. Like, how fucking excited are you? Because this is what I've been waiting for. Yeah. But I'm a PS4. I have my PS4. I got the Xbox one, but still in a box.

I've never even played it. But it's really weird. I'm excited. I have a PS4. I've played the Encharted Series. I've played the last of us. This is great. Alfredo Diaz.

Alfredo Diaz. He is the Xbox gamer to end all Xbox gamers. Since I've known him. Oh, okay. Why don't he... The last 10 years of my life. That's how my parents shaped it, right? They got me a game gear.

Then they got me a Sega Saturn. Then the Dreamcast. It was weird. And then Xbox. Sorry, that. And then Xbox 360. Then it finally started making sense. If they just handed like a Nintendo in my hand or something,

then it would have been a different story. It would have been a different story. You probably wouldn't want to go to that fast. Yeah, that would have been. That would have been different. Jason, that rule at all. I'm excited that you're excited about a Sony conference. That means a lot to my little heart.

I always respected the Sony conferences. Oh, yeah, but you never gave in a fuck. Well, see, now the whole point is, though, that it's just come down to the fact that these are the ones you rely on. The fight, I feel like Eddie 3 every year now is between Xbox and PlayStation. Even when Bethesda comes in and delivers the game we've all been waiting for and everybody's gone crazy about it, right? Now we've already know Microsoft's hand they had a great, great, great showing, right? So now what happens with Sony?

Is it going to be that Sony doesn't deliver and Microsoft runs away with it? Is that Sony puts up a fight and there's actually a debate to be had? Is it going to be that they finally do Pat upon 4 on the PlayStation Vita? Who knows? These Final Fantasy 7 rumors, man. Yeah, there's a lot of rumors. I'm getting stoked. But the thing is, Square has its own conference, so it's probably going to be announced there.

We'll see. if it would happen, but I mean, it also would make a lot of sense of PlayStation. Is it the 20-year anniversary coming up? Of what? Final Fantasy-7? Yeah. Well, it came out in the States. I think it might have been a 96 game in Japan, but probably not. It might have been universally in 97 games.

But like if they announced it, you know, before that day, like, oh, that can make a lot of sense. I'm real excited about that. We'll see. I want to say something real quick that I was thinking about in the bathroom when I was peeing in the trough. What do you want, Kevin? He's asking Tim if he wants to be in. I'm good. I'm fine.

Thank you. Kevin, you can just come on and speak to us. You don't have to worry about it. Yeah, you can be on camera now. It's more distal. I know what you look like now. I prefer you not sneak around because you're scaring me a little bit. And also, I don't want you, this is exactly what I'm talking about.

I don't want you to trip on things. There's no windows for you to fall out of, which is nice. That's a plus. But you'll find one. Also, everyone missed it because we weren't live at this time. But during the last press conference, this whole sign just came crashing down. It did. In a burning flame.

It could have killed us off. I wish you saw it. If we were here, but we weren't. I want to say something real quick about Ubi before we move on. Well, we still have to do the Ghost Recom bit. Oh, okay, we'll do that as well. But I just want to say something real quick. I'm curious what you guys think about this before I forget.

Ubisoft is a huge publisher. They make a lot of money. They have a lot of studios and make a lot of games. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I still feel like they have the spirit of something smaller. When I see them talk and I see their games and I see the way they carry themselves, their developers that they put on stage carry themselves. A lot of diversity, which I think is really cool.

A lot of different kinds of styles of games, seemingly autonomous studios making games, like kind of cross-pollinated making whatever Assassin's Creed or Tom Clancy. game, whatever. I feel like unlike EA and especially Activision, they still have a small spirit about them, even though and they're really making superior, they make superior games, I think, in greater quantities actually than the other two, as well I would even put that out there.

Well, that's why they dodge so much of the hate, right? They are one of the big companies, but, you know, it is Activation. It is EA. You know, EA gets voted the worst company in the world every time, right? Ubisoft is trying and Ubisoft is able to come out and say publicly, we are making Assassin's Creed every year because you buy it. We are a business. We want to make money, and we take that money,

and we do occasionally put out Valiant Hearts, or we do go and put out something, you know, fun and different. We're trying with your money, and that's all gamers want, right? It's not that they're just pumping out the same thing over and over again. It's not fun. Yeah, I feel like they know their audience. I feel like they understand, and their audience is, I should say. For Honor is not the same audience as Ano 2020, which is not the same as Just Dance.

But they seem to have a touchstone for everyone. They don't linger on any game too all along either, which I think is really nice. There's something special. And Aisha Tyler, I think, who is our friend, so I don't want to be biased about it. But there's something about the way she hosts and the way she moves the show along too that I think she's funny, she vamps. You know, like it's, I don't know, there's something, watching EA's very structured and stilted conference and then watching Ubisoft's very loose and funny and personality-driven conference

to very different companies. And I'm not saying that EA's, you know, make plays out bad games, they don't, but they definitely have a different culture over there, I think, than Ubisoft does, and I think it shows. Definitely. So I wanted to throw that out there before I forgot. A tip of the hat to the Ubisoft culture. Now, Frato, tell me why I should care about this ghost recon, wild hunt. They ripped off an A name number one.

It was always just a solid third-person shooter, tactical shooter, to be honest. Yeah. Yeah. And I like that they're going gritty with it. It definitely looks different than every other ghostry kind of thing. Wild lands. One thing I kind of wish that Tom Clancy games did was kind of add some personality to it. But there's never like that character you kind of just, you know, move forward with throughout all the Tom Clancy games.

Right, right, right, right. So it's like with this one, like, oh, it's cool, it's going to be gritty. Maybe we'll get like some kind of character-driven content. The dude looked like me. Just super bloody. Did he? Yeah. I hope you get to save me, Alfredo.

Maybe one day. Because it's already confirmed, so I'm in the game, and Nick Scarpino is somewhere in the game. I heard that there's a rumor that Felicia Day is providing one of the voices. Hashtag, kind of funny E3. Rumors. Rumors. Yes. One of them.

I mean, I don't have it on a confirmed source. I'm kind of just saying it to start the rumor, but that's what I heard. That's what I heard of Leaguesia Day. Logsfall, user Logsville has an interesting comment because this is exactly what I thought even though I knew it wasn't. I'm like, I thought it was just cause three. When you jumped out of the plane. Yeah, and I saw that. I was like, what the fuck is this?

You know, it's not Just Cause. You know, Just Cause isn't published by you. Somehow gets bought. Yeah, but I was like, what the hell is this? And then I was like, they were talking about reviving something. I'm like, what? I was like going through my head. I'm like, what is it?

I didn't make a Tom Clancy connection until they got on the ground. It was the tactical gear that I saw, like the camo. And then when you landed and there was more people. And I was like, that looks like a squad to me. The moment I knew was when the little thing he flew up. Oh, that was way into it. I know, yeah. I don't know shit.

Guns are. Yeah, like I said, I like that they're going to go gritty with. I hope they really, like, run with that. Instead of, like, using, like, more Jones stuff, you're more of a brawler, right? There was a bottle smashing over the dude's head. Yeah, yeah. I hope it's more just like, yeah, balls to the walls. I feel like the cool thing about Tom Clancy games, too.

And I like, Rainbow 6-3 and stuff was, like, one of my favorite games on the original Xbox, was they have three of these games now in development, three Tom Clancy games. And, you know, they're doing different things with them, it seems like. You know, Siege is not the division. The division is not, you know, what they're doing with wild lands or whatever like that. So there's a, even within the Tom Clancy subgenre, or subset of games at Ubi, they're certainly diversifying their portfolio. I mean, those are so different. Like the Tom Clancy thing, that's like saying Mario games are the same.

Sure. When it's like Mario Kart, Mario Party, Mario, a platformer, those are different games that just happen to have the same name. Sure. And it's a name that's, I almost wish they just drop the Tom Clancy shit. But they, as far as I understand, Ubisoft owns that name now. Tom Clancy? Yeah. His spirit?

Uh-oh. He's in a little cage? That's why I said a spirit. But yeah, I want to look that up real because I actually think... It's time for Greg's dinner. One lemon wedge. What do you ask for? Oh, he's going to own it. Let me see here.

Jesus. Yeah, it says in 2008, the French, Ubisoft purchased the use of Clancy's name for an undisclosed sum. It has been used in conjunction with video games and related products such as movies and books. God damn it, ladies and gentlemen, that has been the kind of funny games cast. Sometimes they just want to knock you out, man. It's like it's one of those times. conference we're gonna be still live if you're watching this live on twitch.t.tvs slash kind of funny games the Sony conference is coming up and this is when shit's

about to get fuck less than one hour lots of rumors about what's going on there we watch and I'm so excited 30 minutes till the Sony pre-show oh we do here oh man all right time peace