Kinda Funny Gamescast: Video Game Podcast - No Avengers or Final Fantasy VII Remake :( - Square Enix E3 2018 Analysis - Kinda Funny Gamescast

Episode Date: June 11, 2018

All the biggest Square Enix news of E3 2018! Kingdom Hearts 3, Tomb Raider, Final Fantasy, and more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up, guys? Welcome to the Kind of Funny Gamescast Post Show Analysis for Square Enix's 2018 E3 press conference. I'm Tim Getty's joined by one of the coolest dudes in video games, Greg Miller. Bojohn! And the number one video games journalist, Andy Cortez. Let's square this away. Squared away, guys. Square it up.

Squared in. Let me begin. Oh, my God. Your elbow went right down on the rifle. Square away. We got Nick over there on this shop, right? Square away, square away. I don't think Kevin active in your mind because you asked for it not to be on.

We've had some problems with the live stream we were doing before. So I feel like I went from having like, no energy, I'm middling energy to the energy all getting backed up in me. And now I'm ready to fucking explode. I'm very happy you're exploding on this beautiful show here. We are doing post-show analysis of each and every press conference at E3 this year. At the end of this episode, we will rank all the conferences, similar to our hit show, X-Men, Cinematic Universe, in review, X-EU, in review. It's going to be a good time. And we're also doing live watch-longs of all the streams.

You can watch those on Twitch.tv slash kind of funny games. Or you can just listen to the post-show analysis afterwards on podcast services or watching it on YouTube.com. And there's a Periscope contingency stream. If the streams go down, we'll be live on someone's Twitter. We'll figure that out. We'll be on Twitters. We'll be on other fun. There's all these sorts of devices now.

Stay tuned. Stay tuned. All right, let's get right into it. Square Nix conference. What do you guys think of it? Pretty unnecessary. That's the thing, is that here's, I feel like

it didn't accomplish much. In the way of maybe, again, we talk about this, you've seen, even keeping up with the games cast, you've been seeing these post shows, right? Okay, Bethesda's breadth of games, maybe the majority of them don't appeal to me,

but there's excitement in there, they're doing announcements, they're trying, they're speaking to their audience. Angie WK, too. Did we speak to the square audience today? You're the square audience. See, that's the thing.

They did. They just didn't have any... There wasn't any of the big things people wanted or expected. No Avengers. It's not expected. The things people wanted. There was no Avengers. There was no Final Fantasy 7.

Yeah. There was a slightly modified Kingdom Hearts 3 trailer. Is that confirmed? It is, yeah, because the end scene definitely confirmed it for me where it's like, there's some, like, very fan servicey moments in there that, again,

are going to get the Kingdom Hearts world ablaze with theories and trying to figure out what's going on. So in that sense, they did their job for the Kingdom Heart side. But yeah, so the thing that I want to point out, though, is two new game announcements that were not things people expected. The quiet man, I don't know 100% what's happening there with the live action to video game business. Hate that trailer. Okay, I'm interested in the concept of the game. They too. Deaf guy comes in and beats the shit out of people.

All right, cool. So two new PS4 Steam exclusive games coming out from Square. The one was the other one from platinum game. And it's just like when you look at the success of Neutonautonom, it's like that right now isn't a big deal, but it might be in a couple years, similar to when Squared did their conference in 2015 and had a whole bunch of stuff that at the time were like,

who the fuck, this is stupid, no one gives a shit. But now years back looking on it, you're like, oh, those are really good games. And I think that we're going to see similar things there with a quiet man and Babylon's fall. As a life is strange fan, I was excited to learn more about the awesome adventures of Captain Spirit. But somehow I felt the way they present,

all this information was way less enticing than it wasn't at Xbox's conference. Xbox's conference I thought was a, oh wow, cool, there's this story, there's this dad, there's this son, the son escapes, they're not in a good place, the mom's gone, all right. Whereas this was, I liked having don't nod come out, say, explain what the fuck's going on because it's been confusing on the internet. June 26th, it's free. It is not Life is Strange 2. It is an episode in the Life is Strange 2. If you look around, you'll find Easter eggs and nods to what's going to happen in Life is Strange 2. Don't nod. But it is the first steps in your world, they said, right? Story and Character. in the Life of Strach 2 World. Great, but then they didn't even show the full-blown. If you missed the Xbox trailer, you're like,

why? Yeah, I feel like this would have been a much stronger, not much better, but much stronger conference if we didn't see Shadow the Tomb Raider and Captain Underpants. Oh, at Xbox? At Xbox, yeah. And the Kingdom Hearts trailer. In the year, too.

At Xbox. And near, yeah, it's like. That's the thing is, I guess that's what I'm driving at, is that Bethesda, while another one, I'm like, okay, cool, you're, I don't care about every game here. It was like, I'm excited, there's energy, there's something happening where a lot of this was like, I feel like, oh, okay, we've seen this before. And it's more of the shadow the Tomb Raider. There was gameplay, I guess, too, which I shouldn't knock because I saw that ahead of time.

But maybe you guys had and other people hadn't, obviously. But yeah, it was just like, all right, somebody's talking about it. All right, we're into it. I like, okay. I love the pacing of it, though. Everything was, like, let's just fucking move on and get through it. Like, a big fear I had was they were going to focus on Oxbat Traveler way too long. I think that total thing was 30 seconds.

It's like, hey, this looks awesome. You already know that. it's coming soon. I'm like, thank you. I just feel like with no Avengers pop, this just felt like a waste of time. Like, a lot of these games could have just been shown in other conferences, and it would have made sense and been fine. Yeah, exactly.

The Quiet Man seems interesting. It's kind of like a it's like they're going for the John Wick of video games or something like, just a dude who kicks ass. Well, it was just a weird mashup, too, of like, on an announcement trailer, where we don't know anything about it,

to merge live action and gameplay like that, it's like, well, are you doing like a quantum break thing? Or is this just that you wanted to show? Is this just for trailer purposes? Yeah, I don't,

I wish they would have not done that or explained that, yeah, that's how it's going to be. Maybe they didn't have facial capture of a Mexican guy saying, mehavite. So they had to just film the dudes saying it.

That's what I'm assuming. That's how he got it. Yeah. But he looked exactly like he did in the game. So I'm assuming the live action stuff is part of it. Part of the game. Yeah. It's,

that was definitely the one that left me going, oh, okay. Just cause four. I mean, if you're into Just Cause, cool, yeah, and we knew about it, obviously. We saw it Xbox 2. I thought this trailer was better than yesterday's. Agreed.

But even, like, yeah, I agreed. This was a better trailer and, like, the weather stuff of being able to call down tornadoes and things. I like the fact that I know how many people like the grappling hook. For me, it always was playing it. Like, oh, man, I'm going to have to dedicate time to get good at this. It wasn't working exactly. I like that they call out the fact that they've made it easier to use. And give you more tethers.

If you are a more advanced player, like a big Kev Dog Coelhollo over there in Just Cause world. they were saying you know you can do even more with it now so it's like it looks like hey it's more just cause which I know a lot of people want so yeah good for them yeah and similar to Bethes's conference last night when we were talking about it there's a lot of stuff that it definitely isn't for us but it is for people out there when it came to like the the card game or elder scrolls online quick champions we got a lot of that stuff up front with the final fantasy 14 expansion coming out and the crossover with monster heart world yeah that's cool and you know a lot of people are excited about Dragon Quest 11, the weird Dragon Quest mobile crossover with the Brave Exodus.

It's like those things, not for me, but I know there were millions of people out there to play them and enjoy that. That are all about that. And again, they didn't waste too much of our time with it. So I'm like, good on you. I just wanted to see something Avengers. To end it with the 98% of the same team of harsh failure. And we're expecting it.

And it's also just not very good. It's the same sort of like just crappy quality of the audio. I expected them to show the trailer and then do what they'd done with like Tomb Rider of like, hey, everybody, I'm the developer on, and then show a gameplay part of it. Like you actually jump into it. Going right. Yeah. Oh, I'm so happy they didn't.

Going from that into the sizzle reel was just like, oh, what? Thanks for coming. It was like, what a weird, awkward. It's the same thing was happening. It seemed like with Bethes last night, right? Fall at 76. Then they talked again about the mobile. The mobile.

Yeah. And then we were like, is that really how they're going to end it? No, Starfield, Elverschroll 6. We understand we have to end on a high note. We have to punch you in the face here. The thing of Kingdom Hearts. is I feel like the last frame that they added is I think they did a perfect job with this

in terms of speaking to Kingdom Hearts fans. The trailer still sucked because of the audio was using it being weirdly edited and shit. But I feel like any gameplay and stuff they showed, any more they went into it, it would turn people that aren't fans off more than it would turn people that are fans on. Gotcha, yeah, yeah.

All I needed was for the trailer then and it just like sort of similar to what you had with Master Chief with the halo with his helmet. Yeah, yeah. Just have like... Iron Man's helmet. Cap with the shield or something like that.

and then, and that's it. Like, yeah, anything would have... During all of our predictions episodes, we talked about Avengers and like, are they really going to show it first here

and not at Microsoft or Sony? Like, that feels like the type of game that deserves a bit more of a debut than a video presentation. I just feel like it's... Yeah, I agree with that,

but I feel like, then why are you fucking doing a conference? Yeah. If you don't want to think of yourselves as those people, if you want to save those for the bigger shows, you're never going to be a bigger show. If you're never going to come out

and, hey, we are going to punch you in the fucking face. like Bethes did it. And I mean, I don't mean this year. I mean, years and past, right? Of like, no, we're doing our own thing and we're going to come out. We're going to have awesome announcements. We're going to do this every year. I think this is like, why do this? I feel like this is like, well, everybody else is doing when we should do it. Yeah, but see, my thing is, the way that they did it with the video showcase, like, this is to get people watching a trailer dump.

This is just an E3 trailer dump. They could have done this and had people watch and maybe be interested in some things. And now, like, you actually know what a quiet man is. Otherwise, you would never give a fuck. You would never know. I would know what the quiet man is. Show him the respect he deserves him. A quiet, man. He's the quiet. But it's like, otherwise the D3 square would have just released these trailers. And that's it.

You know, so put up together in a 25-minute thing and just be like, here. Let's just run through the bullet points I have. So they show, to shadow the Tomb Raider to begin with, of course, September 14th, 2018 release date there. Stormblood, Final Fantasy 14 online was there. They talked about that. Summer of this year, they're dropping the Monster Hunter World crossover with Final Fantasy. And then out some new expansion or something. I think Stormblood was the news.

Oh, you're right. You're right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry. Then they came out and did more awesome adventures of Captain Spirit. Life is Strange tie-in. Again, June 26th. It's free. It's not Life is Strange 2. It's the first steps in this world. Stories and characters from the Life Institute Strange world will be here. Dragon Quest 11 came out. September 4th release date there. None of us were big Dragon Quest fans. Charles on yet. Mr. Slam wasn't here to walk us through it. Babylon's fall was next. A Platinum game. PlayStation 4 and Steam, 2019. Near Automata

Become as Gods was next. Again, Xbox's trailer from last night. The definitive edition for Xbox, June 26th. Project Octopath Traveler, then came out, which everybody's fucking stoked for and can't wait. I got up and I had to talk to Kevin for a second. What's the release date? I always forget. I think it's July 13th. It's coming up quick, right? You want to Google it? Yeah. Next was

Just Cause 4. They showed the weather disasters December 4th for the release date. Again, the quiet man, not a quiet man. July 13th. July 13th. The quiet man came out. More to come on this game in August. Okay, PlayStation 4 in Steam. Is that August, are we saying August because of gamescom? Is that gamescom?

Google, open the calendar. I just did it myself. You did it. You know, I made a shortcut there, but I needed it. There we go. Take me to August. No, show me in the month. That's not going to do it.

Take me home tonight. I don't want to let you go till you see that. You could have just Googled games. I know. I thought this would be faster and it wasn't. And it really fucked everything up. And honestly, at this point, I could just look at the chat, but I refuse because I'm doubling down on this. August 21 through 25th.

Everybody, it's on the calendar. I want you to know, I have it on there for the 20s of August. I assume that's when you'll learn more about the quiet man. And then, yeah, Kingdom Hearts, January 29th, maybe. I believe that when I fucking see it. Am I right, Nick? You're right, fuck that. Thank you, man.

So, yeah, that was the conference. Okay. All right. So is it time to rank them? Yeah, it's time to rank those podcasts. Andy, give me the song. We'll rank in the conferences We're ranking the conferences

Good job Andy Good morning to you And good morning to them Because we're ranking the conferences Okay Actually yeah All right you brought it back in the end Now are you going to be able to remember that

For the next year Okay great We're doing the best E3 conference ranking right now Remember we are just ranking them And then Tim has the Tim Tears Which I believe go Great, good God tier Oh sorry

Great. Good, bad, horrible. Okay. So far we have number one is Xbox. Number two is Bethesda. And number three is EA. We need to put Square on here and add the number four. Andy Cortez. Where would you vote for Square to go? I don't know about this whole Tim tier stuff,

but I have this below EA just because the games didn't really interest me. EA for me at least had Anthem, which I'm really stoked about. Yeah. This didn't have anything that I really cared about. That's more of a game perspective. Yeah, sure. Tim. I mean, I think that's crazy in terms of

Even if whether or not there's a game for you It's just like that EA was such a bad conference This was so short and cut out of bullshit And there is a lot of different games There are two new game announcements So I mean it's above EA for me Nowhere near Bethesda This is tough

This is a tough one for me Because here's what I like I like the pomp and circumstance Of the EEA conference But they failed at it Oh and Andrew was great And they had lights and stuff That's all I'm looking for you know what I mean

I appreciate Square Not wasting my time Here's what we have and here's our trailer. But it still felt like a waste of time. That's true. That's true. It's tough. Yeah, but they wasted 30 minutes of your time.

I'm going to... The EA didn't fully waste my time, is what I'm saying. I'm going to vote with the one and only, pure one, Tim Gettys. There you go. And say, yeah, I think this is better than the United's Conference. Well, there it is. How about that? I'm Ironman.

Talk, Phil time. My Tim's here. I'm trying to figure it out. It's somewhere between bad and good. I don't want to say it's good because they should have had at least one wow moment. But it's hard for me to say it's bad because there is two new game announcements in there in 30 minutes and a lot of new stuff about games you already knew. But I'm going to say bad.

Well, there you have it. Holy shit. What? Right now the Tim tier. It's going from horrible, bad, good, great. So you're saying Ubisoft. Ubisoft. You can be God tier.

We'll find out not long now, ladies and gentlemen. If you're watching live, hey, shit's working. That's pretty cool. What are we back for the pre-show? 1230? 12-30 is what we said. So that's about an hour from now. We'll be back with the pre-show for Ubisoft.

Kevin will keep fact-checking and checking on things, I guess. We'll get this stuff up on YouTube. Remember, if you're watching later, of course, every one of these games cast post shows for E3 goes live on YouTube.com slash kind of funny games. Later, or at the same time, I guess. It goes up as an audio MP3. If you want to watch live, you can go to twitch.

dot TV slash kind of funny games. We do a pre-show, a live watch along stream, and then a post show for each and every one of the press conferences. Of course, if anything goes wrong,

we'll be in the chat the best we can. You gotta slow down. A lot of people are like, there's no updates. And I was like, no, I was updating you. There's a thousand of you going fucking fuck the computer,

fuck Comcast. It's hard to get out there. But now we figure out the Periscope backup stream. And the stream lab backup stream. Um, I will say, as somebody mentioned in chat

and I kind of agree that we should have a meh on the level, on the tim tier. Here's what I'd love. do that, but it's Tim's system. And he's been, as you know, Greg puts up a poll after every conference. If I can add a meh, I'd add met to this.

Yeah. You know what? Fuck it. We're out of the tier. It's all rolled. We knew whatever fuck we want. Yeah, because I don't think it was bad. It was just like, yeah.

Yeah. It's going there. Because like I would say, it's somewhere between good and bad. It's going now for a bit. It's kind of like, the way I want to think of it is like when you play a video game and you get, you get ranked the ABCD. Sure. But then there's S. Oh, yeah, yeah.

S is like the God tier. I remember the first time I ranked a crazy taxi level. I was like, what the fuck that goes above a? This is a big moment for me, Andy. Yeah. Sorry, I couldn't be in a rock band like you. We'll see you guys. 1230.

Love you. Bye. SoundCloud.com, touch maximum cortez. Check out my rock band.