Kinda Funny Gamescast: Video Game Podcast - Video Game Tattoos w/Lisa Wallen - Kinda Funny Gamescast

Episode Date: September 9, 2024

Lisa Wallen is a comedian who does a lot of gaming jokes -- but she's also covered in cool video game tattoos! Check out her ink (and jokes) here: https://www.instagram.com/wisalallen/ Run of Show - - Start - Housekeeping - TotS: Video Game Tattoos & Lisa Wallen - Ads - SuperChat - Greg’s Tattoo dreams  - Andy’s tattoo dreams - Tim’s tattoo dreams Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up and welcome back to the Kind of Funny Games cast for Monday, September 9th, 2024. Of course, I am your host, Tim Geddes. I am joined today by the Big Daddy himself, Greg Miller. Hello, Tim. How are you? I'm good. How are you?

Yeah. You're looking at all these iPhone things. How about them tigers? You know what I mean? Are they roaring? Are they doing some shit? Really? Kid me.

Let's go! Good for you. I guess we're excited, everybody. Are you excited Nitro rifle, Andy Cortez? I am. A cat was got a big road win against the Browns yesterday. Oh my God, Jack Prescott,

60 million dollar contract They say if you can be to Browns, you can be in anybody. Yeah. I went to sleep at 6.30 p.m. yesterday. Mm-hmm. woke up at 7 today. Holy shit.

What? Who are you? Is your life like totally different right now? This is what it feels like. This is what normal people feel like. That's still not normal. Yeah. And rounding out our group today

making her debut here on the kind of funny games cast. It's Lisa Wallin. It's me. Yeah. It's Weasel's here. Someone in chat said the two tallest streamers on Twitch, and that's true. And also the two shortest.

Massive. At the same time, both of us are. You're six foot three. Power. How is that chair right now? Come on. And it's September 9th. Yeah.

2024. Do you know what that means? Do you know what anniversary it is? 9-11. Oh, my God. This is why I love Lisa. This is why I love Lisa. We were all thinking about it.

No, we weren't. Just two days. No. days. September 9th, 2001. Where was I? Well, it was the day. It was family weekend at Missou. Okay. So mom and dad has just done, exactly. They just done the game with us on Saturday. I was probably setting them off. And that was the thing. I set them off on an airplane. Can you believe it? Whoa. You know what I mean? They didn't know. They got to walk right into the St. Louis Airport. No problem. Yeah. You know what I mean? They had the shoes on.

I changed the tone of this entirely. I'm so sorry. No, Greg was going to get there. There's no show that remembers 9-11 more. The 25th anniversary of the Sega Dreamcast. Oh, is what I was looking for. 9-9-9-9-9-9. 9-9-9. Never forget, obviously. Never forget.

The Sega Dreamcast, oh my God. Well, everybody celebrate that, however you will. Because remember, this is the Kind of Funny Gamescaste each and every weekday. We get together to talk about the biggest reviews, previews, and topics in video games live on YouTube, Twitch, and podcast services around the globe. If you love what we do, please support us with the Kind of Funny membership on Patreon or YouTube to get all of our shows ad free. Watch us record them live. You get a daily exclusive show. For a chance to be part of this show live, you can YouTube super chat in and we will get to those as we go. A little housekeeping for you. Really exciting stuff is ahead. This Friday, September 13th, Organization

13 takes over the kind of funny spare bedroom and only one man and his friends have the keys and friendships to take it back. Mike, Ricky, Kyrie, and Sora return for Mike's epic journey into Kingdom Hearts. With the start of Kingdom Hearts 2, some would say, the best of the Kingdom Hearts franchise. I think everybody would, if I'm being honest. Tune into the marathon stream starting after. That would be the other shout-out.

That would be, I appreciate you, Greg. I'm a PSP, of course. Previed the PSP event. That was another one. Oh, man, that Starfield song. That was a PSP game. I'm going to need somebody to try to find Greg's preview of Birth by Sleep on the PlayStation portable.

And at some point, I'd like to bring it. bring it up on the show. But anyway, Friday, this is going to happen. Mike's going to do a marathon stream. It's exclusive on Twitch. YouTube will upload later. So help make Andy share the pow-pow fruit with Mike to seal their friendship forever. Last time he gave me some pineapple and said his pow-paw fruit,

you eat this, he become locked in a friendship with me forever. I don't know what the fuck's going on in Kingdom Hearts too. I don't know if I'll be a part of this journey. I really hope not. I hope you all, as my bosses, don't ask me to be there. Yeah, Andy. Can you be there on Friday? I don't know if you're actually

about it or not. But I would like to see you be apart of it. What do you got? I got great news, everybody. Uh-oh. Lisa's here. A fantastic comedian. We're going to talk about your rise to fame.

My rise of fame. I have no money, but thank you. Well, that's every comedian. That's every comedian until you get the big deal. But it was the thing where you broke through all the algorithms. And that's how I found you and then I was like, everybody, and everybody, and everybody was like, yeah, we know her. She's been on stuff.

I'm like, oh, okay. told me that. You're like, do you know is Lisa Wong? Like, yeah, she's been in our kind of anime stuff. Oh, fuck. Okay. But I did. I infiltrated and now I won. And now I'm here. So we're going to talk about, we're going to talk about tattoos. Video Game tattoos. I got lots to say.

We're going to talk about making video game comedy, which is amazing. Everybody should follow you. But more importantly, we have some breaking news. Uh-oh. Joey got the following text. Hello, Joanna. I'm occupied and can't take calls now. Text back as soon as you can when you get this. And let me know if you're available.

a complete a task. Thanks. Greg Miller. That's right. Someone's trying to pretend to be me talking to Joey. So now is your favorite segment of the games cast returns where I pretend to be Joey and talk to someone pretending to be me. Let's go. Here we go, everyone.

Last time this got fucking weird. Is this the origin of Ant Manning? Will you try to convince someone to get real small? Hang it was. Strap in everyone. It's going to be a show. After this show, though, the fun continues on, well, before this actually, Games Daily.

a banger episode that was Greg and Bless talking all about the incoming PS5 Pro News. Obviously, more housekeeping for you. Tomorrow, we will be live reacting at 8 a.m. to whatever Mark Serney has to show us. I hope he talks about what he did with my ear pictures. I still haven't heard. You know what I mean? I said it to one.

But what's you going to do with them? I'm not sure. Crazy day. So we'll do that at 8 a.m. It's only nine minutes. We'll go straight into games cast. We'll react and talk and answer your questions and your opinions about it. Then right into games daily and then right into the stream.

Greg, I just saw Greg. replied to the fake Greg who's trying to scan Joey through text. He replied, hey Greg, how's my favorite boss? And fake Greg says, I'm doing great. So we're off to the races, everybody. We're off to the race.

The stream after this is about to be shenanigan-filled and hilarity will ensue because Andy and Lisa Wong, the industry's two tallest streamers, are going to share one controller in dark on the Nintendo Switch.

Could this be any more of a recipe for disaster? This is the best chaos possible. I'm wondering what JoyCon I should take control of. I don't know. I mean, my chat knows I'm the Perry Queen. Oh, hey, same here, Perry Poppy. So that's awesome. I'll take the right.

The two tallest streamers are also the best perriers. I could probably take the right side then. Control the camera, control some of the attacks. I don't know, maybe we flip a coin to. I'll just do the moaning. I'll just do the moaning part of it. Because, yeah, whenever he gets hit to him, he goes, ah, that's the sound he makes.

He's fucking sick of. Greg, did you hear? Okay, so here's the thing, here's the thing, Lisa. Tim, he's so close, he's on the cusp of being like a soul's guy. Almost. We could feel it, we could feel it, right? So far.

And he asked me, he was on vacation. He was on vacation recently. He was like, what's a good starting class for Eldon Ring? And, you know, gave him a lot of, like, different options. Chat was helping me out with it. And he said, I gave it a shot, But there's just so much dork shit in this game in terms of like Because here's the thing, Tim, every in-game mechanic has to, you can't just have your life bar.

No. Like it's all, it all has to have. The essence of bees. No, what the fuck are we talking? Give me a potion that heals me. But you have to know why that potion and what it comes from. You don't. You do.

You don't. You can play the whole game and not know the story like me. You have to know, Tim. It has to mean something, okay? I'm 50 hours in the game like wait there's incest in this game like that's just Oh yeah Everybody's fucking each other yeah

Everybody's fucking each other Oh what's going on here Good Lord Secret Lives of Mormon wives You hear about this Craig Oh what? Oh y'all Strap in

Not the time Not the place No no they're going all the way They actually technically not It's soft swinging There's been a lot of swinging Conversations going on It's kind of funny recently

So real quick I need everybody To know this There's a show on Hulu called the secret lives of Mormon wives. And it's because of this scandal that happens a couple of years back with mom talk.

The scandal? Mom talk is about, no, this is predates. TikTok. It's a bunch of moms from Salt Lake City that are all like Mormons

and they would all hang out and then slowly they'd all just start fucking each other. Oh, and then one of them fucking blew it all up. Goes on TikTok live and she's like, yo, we all be fucking. We all be fucking. So I'm so glad you guys are gross.

because I was really concerned of how I was going to be on the show today. I'm like, am I allowed to swear? Am I a lot of... Welcome to kind of funny Lisa. Now we made a reality show out of it

and it's a fucking disaster. Someone gets arrested in the first episode. I digress. I'd like to get an update on my conversation with fake Greg but I like it when Andy reads them. Oh, here we go, here we go.

So again, this is Greg Miller responding to the fake scamber pretending to be Greg talking to Joey. All right. So again, the scam. Initial thing happens, Greg replies,

Hey, Greg, how's my favorite boss? Fake Greg replies. I'm doing great. I'm aimed at surprising some of our diligent staffs today, and the thought of getting them gift cards came to my mind. Can you get a couple of gift cards from the nearest store? You'll be reimbursed as soon as I am free today. Thanks.

Real Greg Miller responds. As Joey. As Joey. Of course, but, and I've been meaning to bring this up, I have to ask that we don't give one to Andy. Listen, this is hard to talk about, but Andy hit under my car the other day. He growled at me.

He growled at me. when I left the building and swiped at my leg. It was not cool. I can't stress this enough. It was not cool. Fake Greg responds. I don't really follow. Well, everybody, if you love what we do, we thank you so much.

Of course, you can become a kind of funny member. You can watch the Greg way. You can watch the kind of funny podcast live when we record it later today. And shout out to our Patreon producers, Carl Jacobs and Delaney Twiney. Today, we are brought to you by Shady Raisin Hymns, but we'll tell you all about that later. for now. Let's start with the topic of the show. Tots, dots, dots, dots, dots, dots. What a boring topic.

Lisa is the topic of the show. Technically the topic of the show, the headline of the show, is video game tattoos. Why would that be the topic, Lisa? Because I'm cringe and we love cringe. Yeah. No, they're like, to me, they're like, so, okay, I also have a joke about this. My tattoos are like when murderers have trophies. So when I get really obsessed with something

And then I finish it I tattoo on my body and I move on I don't really move on though But literally every one of my tattoos Is either a video game or an anime And it's like just gotten worse Because like you know in your 20s When you start getting tattoos

You're like I want to get something meaningful You know And then we're millennials So it's like tramp stamps of the word faith You know that was our That was everyone's meaningful tattoo And then my first tattoo ever was this legend

of all the Twilight Princess sleeve that I finished 10 years later, I know. But now it's getting worse. Like my next video game tattoo is going to be the meme of Virgil sitting in a lawn chair from Devil May Cry 5. And I'm like, that's just going to get worse. A woman of taste. Yeah. What is the least meaningful tattoo

you have on your body? None. They're all meaningful. Yeah, so walk us through it because I sent Kevin the back tattoo. Oh yeah. The back is the Dark Souls 3 and the Bloodborn. There we go. Yeah, that was painful. It was more painful. Eight brutal sessions, say. Yeah, it was more brutal than beating Sister Freed. There's two

mommies right there on the back. There's two mommies on the back. I got to get a third mommy up on the top. Yeah, that was 40 hours of, you can fill it in your kidneys. I don't know if you know that when you get tattooed down here. What? Yeah. Yeah, the kidneys and the, all of it was just, it's like my organs felt

me playing the games. I'm peeing. Why am I pissing ink right now? Yeah, the thing is, Tim, when you're 22, you're like, when I get my first tattoo, this is what I always thought because I thought I thought I was going to get tattoos. Yeah. You still don't have any. But like when you're 22, you're like, my first tattoo is going to be like the initials of my firstborn.

And then you're 36. Is that really a thought that Andy Quartet has had? And then you're like, I'm probably going to get like a coding Cambria thing and then a rush thing. And now it's going to be like, you know. I have Reagan from Mobs cycle on my hand because I want to kiss them every night before I go to bed. I think that's, I had to get my, like, if somebody Reaganomics really changed my life.

You're like, wow, our guest today is. Listen, if you propose to me, you got proposed to Reagan, too, unfortunately. Or you could propose to the Ocary and Time Link that's in Twilight Princess. Yeah, I just kept going. What's his name? The elder? He is the, what is his name? Or he's the hero's shade.

The hero's shade. Yeah, because I wanted a skull on my hand. I was really clever. Oh, I'm proud of my dark souls in Bloodborn, though, because my back, I designed it. I don't know how to. No shit. Yeah, I didn't draw it. I photoshopped it.

But I was like, I want the sun. moon themed and I want the bitches from each game in there because those games like it's like every woman character in Bloodbourne is like some Eldridge horror so I was like I want to get one that's like the one hot one and they're showing feet yeah it's either Lady Maria or the doll so there you go I'm scrolling your Instagram trying to give Kevin live feet no the arm the first one had the arm the first one yeah there's a there's an art I have like so all the anime tattoos I got in Japan um you got DECU right there and then I got this and yeah I got this and yeah I got this one in Florida. I got the Gintama on the top because obviously I'm cultured.

And then I got my Kiloa and then on my legs I got a little hollow night. I got a quote from with the wind. I got Ash from Banana Fish. I got Revi from Blackaloon. I got Zombie Man from One Punch Man and I have Sysma. These are just a lot of anime. What? What is it going on with the shot right here? Oh my God. We're on the song. Why are we so? I have no idea what's going on. It's figured out right now. It's the glow from the tattooing. There you go. Bunked up the saturation. Yeah.

So I just want all gaming stuff. And everyone's like, you're going to regret these tattoos when you get older. I'm like, no, they look awesome. A, I'm going to give a fuck about how I look like when I get older. And B, I'm going to be like the dopest, like, 75-year-old short king ever. So it's going to be, yeah. But I still have more room. So I just want to fill it all up.

You don't have much, though. I'm just looking at you. Like, I don't think you have that as much as you might think. I have enough room. I have enough room. What is cool, though, what I love about having these tattoos, one of my favorite tweets ever is tattoos are great conversation starters, which is why I regret getting any. But I love when I post like my stand-up clips or if I post like pictures, everyone's like,

dude, this bitch got gintoki on her arm. Like, what other stand-up comedian has a gintoki tattoo? So it's like I've connected with people because of my, my ink, which is, yeah. And it's funny how you mentioned the whole like viral thing. My back, my back tattoo has gone viral a lot. Oh, yeah. And, but I don't keep getting tagged in it. So I'm like, hey, Hey, that's my back. That's my back. Put me in there. So that's your next tattoo, your handle.

Yeah, that's me. There you go. I'm posting back right now. I have another. I mean, this has nothing to do with tattoos, but the first thing ever got viral for was I should send you the link. I posted a picture of myself that my mom took in me when I was 12 years old on 2001 Christmas. And I posted on Reddit. And it gets reposted every six months and it goes viral because it's like peak emo 2001.

Like, and it's me. And I always see it. I'm like, that's 12-year-old Lisa. We need to pull this for sure. Because I saw it and like the fact that it, when I found out, this is one of those like Drew Scanlan moments where I'm like,

wait, we know this person. How is this possible? I have it. Hold on. I have the, I don't know how to share a Reddit post. Maybe screen.

Text it to me. Just text it. I'll just screenshot it and send it to you right now. But now I see that all the time. And then somebody will always be like, yo, that's Lisa Wallin's back. I was like,

or that's Lisa Wallen as a 12-year-old. And I was like, damn it, They're always sharing my shit and they're not tagging me. Oh, we found it. There you go. That's peak 20, 2001 right there. I love that you say Christmas 2001 and the moment 2001 left your mouth and he just looks at Greg like, what's you going to say?

Waiting for the 9-11. What happened in 2001? It was three months later. I have to say it's Christmas because I get troll comments that are like, oh, that skateboard has no, like you're a poser. I was like, yes, I was a poser, but also I got that for Christmas. Okay. Brand new. Now I got to recreate that.

There's lord of this picture. You're like, no wonder your best friends with Barrett. You got one foot off the plane and Barrett was there. Why is that the viral thing of me? Like, why isn't it my stand up? Why isn't my, it's just a fucking 12 year old Lisa. Because that is the most, like that picture speaks more than a thousand words. Like that is such a place in time.

And it's just like, wow. This girl's going to be so depressed in like 20 years. Well, it's because when they make movies, they will reference stuff like that to be like, this is a period piece of the early 2000. What did a bedroom look like back then? The grandma wallpaper with the Sysmoda down posters. It was Blink 182 posters. Linden Park, no doubt.

Yeah, that's what you had to put on your walls. So I started connecting people with emo music. And then, like, obviously with, like, gaming anime, starting getting those tattoos. And now that's, like, the cool thing where it's like, oh, my God, like, you're the one with the hand tattoo. Like, my hand's gone viral because there's this meme that Reagan's in everything. and I did a beer commercial for evil geniuses and Elysian. And there's a part where I grabbed the beer from the fridge. And they're like, for some reason, this video is going viral in Japan and nowhere else.

Because all the Japan Reagan fans are like, why is Reagan a random beer commercial? That's so fun. Can't copy your white my skin. I just need everyone connect all of it together and just give me money. But you say that. You say you're viral. I just share with Kevin the, I think the Dark Souls joke that I saw that like that did 1.5 million, right? like that.

And your reels have exploded. 2.7 for the, I think, the Eldon Ring one. Before we get back to the... You gotta start pinning. You gotta pin. Before we get back to the dork shit. You are way cool. Before we get back to the dork shit,

how many war tours did you go to? I went to 10. Fuck, yeah. I went to 6 and it was way... San Antonio, Texas is way too hot for warped one. I went from 2004. My mom took me when I was 14. And then she got really high with bad religion

and made my 15-year-old friend drive us back to the hotel. Oh my god. Like, what? Why is my mom dope, right? I also have a very viral video of my mom reacting to me plugging in her end's her Nintendo last year because she's like so wholesome and like obsessed in Nintendo

and then she immediately becomes really toxic because like my five-year-old niece is like, can I play? She's like, no. But and then I went, yeah, from 2004 to 2014, I just watched it get worse every year. It just got more predatory and more disgusting and the bands got worse. And I was like, I think I'm good actually.

I think I've warped out now. And now it costs $400 to go see the same bands, do 10 minutes. So it's great. They're bringing them back. Somebody said it's too. San Antonio was fine back then. No,

it was not, dude. Being at a warp tour, and when it was 97 degrees in the middle of July. No SPF, just burning. Dude, like you,

like, just ex, you know that recently released picture that was of Trump, that everybody was like, this is not Photoshop. This is how he looked. I sent that photo to all my friends. like this was us like seven hours into a

warped tour just exhausted drinking sparks no water it's the summer it's Chicago land tweeter center there's no shade this is just beating down on you you're desperate for some old person to give you a beer yeah you're trying to play

hey mister but you can't psych up the courage I had a fake idea it was a bad kid we snuck in a warped tour one year at the gorge we like hop the fence which is funny because tickets were like 25 bucks back then now it's like $400 I actually, I went to go, were you a big emo kid? Oh yeah.

I want all the emo bands. This is how we were old. Is they're all doing their 20-year reunion tours for specific albums? I went to go see Finch and Bayside this year and everyone, the audience is like 40 and bringing their kids. I was like, oh my God, this is like when my parents want to go take me to see like Aerosmith. We are now, we are now elders in the community. Finn's great album. What it is to burn, Tim.

Yeah. Yeah. They're bringing back all the skinny jeans that don't fit anymore. It's just, oh, it's. Well, we've also all gained weight, like all the skinny kids on stage. You know, we've all kind of packed on some pounds. That's the best thing about getting tattoos, you don't notice yourself aging because you just cover it with ink. There you go.

That's why we get beards. That's how we get beers. I used to be a shaved kid. Double chin. Question for you with these tattoos. Yeah. So you're going to Japan and getting them done, you said. Probably.

So are you making the appointment way out or is it's just you stumbled into a tattoo problem? My artist's name is Hodi Beni. He's like very big anime artist in Japan. And every time I go there, I still feel obligated to cover myself. And then I go there now and everyone has tattoos. I was like, okay, so now they're like a little more like, you know, accepting of it. But I tried to go to an onsen last year and they're like, you can't even have tattoos in the building. So I literally had my sleeves up to here and was like, can I get a private room?

Like trying to hide my hands. Fingerless gloves. But no, when I got these done, I did it all in one trip. So I went, got a tattoo, then went to a different country, came back. back to Japan six weeks later got my next tattoo. How does that fuck up your trip? I was listen. Like are you just like the whole like

Oh yeah I walked around With my my hand fresh all in one day Nine sessions nine hours of like each one of these are nine hours I'm just hauling luggage between three countries And I guess it makes a lot of sense because I don't know why I thought that you also had your back tattoos in Japan Okay that makes a lot of sense My back was the last thing I got before I moved L.A.

because my artist, who's my old roommate, she was like, this is like the last time we're going to see each other because she moved to the East Coast. She's like, we've got to do something big. I was like, let's do my back. And I realized that was a terrible idea because that hurt like shit. How long did it take?

40 hours. I went in every two weeks for eight sessions. Just like, I just took a bunch of fucking edibles. Just like, let's do this. Passed out during one of my sessions, which was good. Yeah. And then, but now I feel like I can do anything, you know?

Now it's like when you beat that first boss, and souls. You're just like, I did it. I tattooed my kidneys. I can do anything. Tim, this could be you, Tim. This could be you. Now I also hate myself. That's crazy. The worst was like the healing part because I couldn't lay down because I have the

flowers on my ass and I was like, oh now when I poop, I have to like hold my ass. I made this very smart financial decision on my body. It's like when I eventually go to Turkey to get my like my hair plugs or whatever. You get that expensive surgery. But you can't sleep. You can't lay down. When you get the hair replacement, you got to just like, you're in the airplane. What it's very funny is like you guys are all nerds.

But like when I wear like a tank top in L.A. And people are like, oh my God, you're back tattooing my head. I'm like, you have no idea how fucking dorky this is. You're just like, oh, is that a fucking yawks. That's a fucking prison. That's a prison tat right there. I was like, yeah, the fucking doll from Bloodborn. Tim, what's a who's this, Tim, from Zelda?

This is Mindna. Midna. What? Did you not play Twilight Princess? That was a different error for me. I wasn't gaming a whole lot like that. And they won't put it on the fucking switch for him to play. You know what?

Emo Rocker at that time. There was nothing more emo than the legend of Zelda Twilight Princess. That was my emo name, actually. But that was when I... We have the Twilight Princess here, everybody. That was what was a Myspace name. Yeah, yeah. That was when I was buying the GameCube a whole bunch just to play double dash and smash.

Look at the Zant. Look at the Zant. Who's that? That's the bad guy from... Well, this is actually a spoiler alert because, Vinda's like a little baby throughout the game. Like you know Binda, like, yeah, that's, that's been a, I know I had a child hit on me the other day because I had a bar and he goes,

dude, he saw my Gandorf tattoo. He goes, is that the guy from Smash? No. And I was like, oh, it is. But I have to educate you in this moment. And immediately was not interested. He was like, he had like two drinks and he was like, all right, see him. I don't want to be mansplained by this woman.

Doom guy tattoos, that that guy from Portnight? Like, oh, man. This was unplanned, though. Like, we, every time I just. went in, we just did something new. And we just kept covering it up. It's actually a cover up of other Zelda tattoos, which is even funnier. Like this was a quote

from Twilight Princess, which is like the shadow and light are two sides of the same coin. And she's like, why did you cover him up? Because that's fucking cringe. I got to cover it up with something slightly less cringe, but still cringe, which is legend, which is Zelda. I was thinking about Twilight Princess a lot recently, as I often do. But the Wind Waker, when it came out

and everyone's all, it's too cartooning. I wanted to be real. I love the Nintendo's answer was, fuck it. Let's give them what they want. And they just overcorrected so much. Like everything about Twilight Princess, like, okay, he turns into a fucking wolf. He's just like, everything's so dark and they're all so realistic looking at it. It's like you look at it like they've never done anything close to that sense. It's weird that like that art style for Twilight Princess, Nintendo's never made anything else that fit the era more.

Yeah. Because like every other game had that sort of everything's got bloom on it. Everything's just like kind of dreary and shit. Yeah, I definitely rented Twilight Princess. And then they have a random village full of cats, which is like the best part of the game. The best part of the game. Now you have to play Twilight Princess. You really do.

I replayed it last year to see if it holds up because everyone's like, it's not even a good Zelda game. I was like, hey, fuck all you. First off, what does that even mean? First off, it's the best Zelda game. And I played all of them. Okay. So you can't argue with me because I'm also a Skyward sort apologist. You're just asking for it all here.

Is that a defense? Yeah, it is. I re- You don't fight me I got bad of taste Don't fight me I know I'm wrong I have worse taste

I know I'm wrong and I'm proud of it but I replayed it last year Stevea holds up and I was like God this game is even better than I remember Twilight Princess is just

very slow in the beginning it's like it's one of the Kingdom Hearts too very similar problems where it's like the first like five hours are just like why are we doing this right now

but then once you get going like it's like I think the best dungeons in any 3D Zelda game period now Zelda sucks no just kidding This is not the place you want to be saying.

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for safety or effectiveness by the FDA. Descriptions require an online consultation with a health care provider who will determine it appropriate. Restrictions, details, and important safety information. Subscription required. Price varies based on product and subscription plan. On the show. Fake Greg says, L.O.L. I don't really follow.

Real Greg. pretending to be Joey replies. You don't follow? You, L-O-L? Greg, when you hired me, you said you'd be the best boss I've ever had. For nearly 10 years, you've lived up to that day after day.

Now, I tell you, an employee acted like a RGV werewolf, a Rio Grande Valley werewolf, and you L-O-L-L? That doesn't line up with the hero I work for. Really? That's that? Nope. He went silent for a while.

He didn't respond to this. It said red. Really? That's that. No follow up, Greg, I quit. I won't work with a werewolf. Today's my last day. Tell me how many gift cards you need.

I'll pack a bathroom. I do like where you got left on red. They gave it over it. They were reading it. So that's when I came back with that I will get the gift cards. I love it. Yeah, you're baiting them. Continue to engage with me.

They gave up. You're stuck here with me. It's delivered, but they refuse to open it. Joe, you can get your phone if you want. And it's funny that sometimes as an important. Boy, you have to do that as well. Like, you have to learn when it just give up. I didn't even realize until, like, a few months ago,

the Instagram automatically has read receipts on. Did you know that? So now I've been leaving everyone on red, and I was like, oh, my God, I'm an asshole. So I'll, like, read it and then I'll unread it really fast. So I don't do any. I get such a, or when I reply to somebody and I delete my message so I don't see that they left me on red,

it just causes anxiety. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hate it. You just leave a little heart. Like, sometimes you just kind of like, Yeah. I read this. I'm acknowledging it.

Yeah. I am not responding, though. So the biggest announcement today from the Apple event, for me at least, is that an iOS 18. Are you Apple or Android? I am Apple. Okay. I said that very sad for some reason.

Three out of four of us here are. Andy's known this technology, I imagine, for a lot longer. But you know how on like Slack you can respond with emojis? Yeah. I really like that. You can do that on I message as well. however, you're limited to like five. It was like the ha-ha.

What do you mean? Oh, that kind of... No, you can... They've added this while ago that you can do more. You can add stickers now. I don't think so. Stickers.

Yeah. Stickers. You can put your own face on that. But just like built into the, um, the I message. What's up? I'm sorry. Okay. I'm derailed.

I'm sorry. Yeah. Uh, but like there's only like five things you can do. One's like a ha-ha. One's a heart. One's an exclamation point. And I'm just like none of these are the fire emoji. Like how am I supposed to react to people?

We do that on Slack all the time. That's like my go-to for things. That's like, I saw this. I fucking like it, you know. But it's like the exclamation point seems like I'm alarmed and the heart seems a little much. Or you're just a dad. Yeah. That's my knowledge.

I would be like, dad, I'm dying. He'd be like. Anyway, they're adding all the emojis now. So I'm very excited about that. When's everybody going to get the RCS thing? Because yesterday, Snowlack Mike sent a video to Roger and Roger and Android user. still gets it in like really shitty 144p quality. When is that going to, I thought that was already made official.

I thought we already. Yeah, but it's one of those things. Some people who had the beta were getting that. Maybe, I might be off on this, but iOS 18 should be launching in the next week. So I think we'll know then. Oh, we got some super chats here. Everybody's confirming. Okay, cool, great.

Super chats from Brain 13 saying, hey, friends, ironic topic. I got my first ever tattoo this weekend. And it's a video game one. Wow. I already want more. It won't let me send a link, but my Final Fantasy 7 meteor looks freaking sick. Nice. Maybe a sole sleeve next.

Hell yeah. Hell yeah. I will say there is a problem with gaming and anime tattoos becoming, not this person, but so when I got, I would never get the media because. No, when I first got like my anime tattoos, it was like a normal price to get a tattoo. Usually it's like $100, $200 an hour, wherever you go, right? Now these fucking anime artists, like a lot of them who just, just are doing anime tattoos last two years.

I tried to get one recently. I was like, oh, I want to get the inside of this done. They're like $3,000 deposit. And I said, absolutely not. I'm sorry. Like, I'm all about artists making, getting paid and, like, what they deserve. But, like, you're just scamming people at this point. Also, you're tracing a panel.

That's what you're doing. So, like, a lot of these anime artists, they know the anime tattoos are, like, huge now, especially, like, Djutsu Kaisen, Demon Slayer and all them. So they'll, like, overcharge because they're like, oh, no, no, this is a trendy. Like you're, how are you going to gentrify tattoos? Like, I got, I was really lucky, like, the girl who did my back in my dull sleeve, she's, like, one of my best friends. She gave me a home you hookup. When I go back to my artist in Japan, like, he gives me, like, his basic price.

But, like, I just try to find artists, like, in L.A. And even in this area, and they're, like, $2,500 deposit. And I was like, absolutely not. Sorry. And if you have pets, it's extra. Like, well, I'm trying to live here. I'm just like that. My Virgil on my lawn chair.

I'm going to pay $25,000. He doesn't even deserve that, okay? I already have an $800 statue of him. I don't need a $2,500 tattoo of him, okay? So you mentioned that when you're sitting there, you're kind of, the artist will just kind of go and just draw more shit, like they're kind of just going off the fly or whatever. Yeah, I helped design my back. I knew exactly what I wanted.

But, like, now I just, like, I have a couple artists that I go to that I found recently. And one of them, I befriended in L.A., and then they immediately moved to Houston. unfinished tattoo by them. I was like, why did you move? Because it's expensive here. But like me, it's like, oh, I know exactly what style I have. I know exactly what to look for. But I've gotten them for so long that it's like, I know how to read through the bullshit. A lot of people I know now, I had a girl recently, one of my friends got a Naruto tattoo done by an artist in L.A. And it was just like, it was like about this big, you know, right on her leg. I was like,

how much you pay for that? And she goes, I don't know, like $2,500. And I was like, oh, my God. And I didn't say anything, but I was like, this bitch got scammed. You know. I have a question here from Hey, Peace Love in the YouTube chat says, does anyone know her Insta? No. It's Wiesel Allen. Weasel Allen.

So it's Lisa Allen, but you swap the W and the L. So it's Wisa Lawlin. Maybe I can, you know, have a little more money. You just jumped from that. One of your posts was talking about that, right? Yeah. When the video started breaking out of the wheels. Oh, my God, it was crazy because like I had, like, I was writing, you know,

the 40 to 50K for a while because I've had, I had like other clips go viral, but they're always like my, my normie jokes. Because I also write normie jokes. And then the elder ring one was like 25K immediately. And I was like, oh, no, they think I have more of these. I was very lucky because like most of the shows that I do is like my, like here, like all of our friends that came out to show last night. It's like, oh, that's like 10 or 12 people, I better, that will fucking laugh. Fish in a barrel for video game jokes.

Yeah. So it's like, yeah, I can do those jokes. And my goal now is to be able to write gaming jokes that are broad enough for an audience to, like, get it. I have an anime bit that I've been doing since 2016 that I have written to be broad enough for people who aren't in the anime to enjoy it. Like, I say, like, oh, yeah, like, some people don't like the anime joke because they'll turn in their friends. Like, I don't know what anime is. I'm like, is it Japanese children's cartoons or is it porn? And I go, yeah.

And, like, I have a joke of, about hentai, which I'll just say, because I was like, because I mentioned hentai. And it was like a lot of these jokes are hit or miss because people don't understand like the Japanese translations of certain words, like hentai. Like not a lot of people know what hentai is. And I know that from experience now because I'm on date with a guy a couple years ago who had a daughter was in anime. And what I think what he meant to say is my daughter loves anime so much.

In fact, she likes to draw manga, which is the Japanese word for comic book. But instead it came out as my daughter's an anime fan. In fact, she's a Bukake artist. and so I go, well, he didn't know what Bukaki meant, so I'd have to get in his face about it. And so it's a, it's a dumb bit based on your guys's reaction. No, I like it. Whenever someone's like, tell me a joke and I do and they go, I'm like, I'm going to kill myself. Well, don't give up your day job.

I just said, Kevin, I just sent the Eldon Ring joke, which is the one that broke out. It's, yeah, over two million here. People get so, like, mean because I don't think they realize how hard it is to write niche jokes. like yeah, I have a lot of jokes that are like, yeah, I can write dating app jokes or like smoking weed jokes or write jokes by my parents. And I love all that material, but it's like trying to get into a niche in an oversaturated world of comedians is really hard. And so I've had these jokes for a while. They never told them. And then I post the elderly one and blew up.

I was like, oh, okay, I guess this made the right algorithm. Yeah. But still, like. It crossed through. Like I'm doing Zanies in Chicago next Monday, if you want to come to it. tickets are still available They are still available But it's like I can't do those jokes there

Like I have to do like So I have to not only write Michael Jordan or some shit Yeah I have to I have to write Yeah what's his deep dish pizza I have to not only write like A bunch of niche jokes And make sure an audience can get them

But I also have to be able to write Like an hour of non-niche jokes So I'm just constantly writing But when do you give up and just commit And just be the gaming comic That's basically what it is now I think people, especially like with this stuff doing well, right? People are going to come see you for that.

They're all watching online. How many gamers do you know leave the house to go to coffee shows? Like great. I'm going to do a lot of gaming jokes. I need you motherfuckers to leave the computer and come see me. Everybody, there you go. Let's get a taste, Kevin, with this. If we can hear the audio on the Elden Ring joke.

Playing Dark Souls together. And this is how it originally ended is that we were seeing each other. And he goes, hey, I know Dark Souls is a really hard game. I'll play with you. so that you can get used to it and then you know it'll be less punishing i said okay and so we got to the first boss and beat it and then he ghosted me and i was like wow this game is really hard i think that was part of the tutorial your reaction was i did not think anyone's gonna laugh at that playing dark souls again

that's how you just commit is that you're like i don't know if people are going to laugh at it is and then you do it are like oh okay it went well well you look and i want the elven ring one cab it's the most recent one I sent. Sorry, I sent you that one a while. That one's still good. Greg also mentioning that, you know, doubling down on this. There's only 250 comics left in the world. Greg mentioned that you doubled down on the video game jokes. You can also reverse engineer that shit. And then like, now it's like, hey, I also do these other jokes. And then you kind of What's funny is that's not even the full joke. Like, I just did like a 20 second. The whole bit is like seven minutes about how Eldon Ring cock blocked me twice. No, that's the one. Let's show the

most recent one. Well, I know it's not the whole thing, but. Yeah. Is it this one? Yeah, that's one. Okay, let me refresh. I am a nerd. I love that we're, I hate watching my stand-up so much. I played the game before, and I was like, you should play Eldon Ring. It's really good. He's like, okay, I'll download it, and he did, and then I never heard from him again. This game is a curse.

But we're still friends on PS5, so I can see him playing the game and not texting me back. I feel like I was watching myself getting cheated on. And then he didn't talk to me for two months, and he, like, blew me up with this huge message about how he was so busy and went through Lash. I went to look at his PS5. That motherfucker platinum the game. Okay.

So that was the first time I told the joke on stage, and I've made it better. Because now I explain to audiences that don't play PS5 or whatever. I'm like, so when you add someone PS5, you, like, can see what they're doing. Because the people don't understand, like, I don't know what that means, right? And it's like, I'm watching him cheat on me with Melania now.

Like, he's, like, I'm trying to, build the joke. So I posted the clip knowing, like, this is just, like, a snippet of what the joke is. And I actually have another part of the joke because there's two stories about how Eldon Ring cock blocked me. And the Dark Souls one goes into another story on top of that about how I was seeing somebody. And they hit me up when Eldon Ring come out. And I was like, oh, he's going to come over and we're like going to hook up. And he ended up bringing over a PS5. And I was like, oh, okay, we're going to hook up after Eldon Ring. And then he just left. And I was like, okay. well, that was fun.

And then he high-fied me. He was like, oh, yeah, this is never happening again. But, like, that's so... I got a date tonight, too. Can I get some advice? Right, right? But it's just like, oh, I have a date after this. Can we just pre-funk with some Eldon Ring?

And so, yeah, the anime stuff I did a lot of jokes about. Now I'm trying to do more gaming stuff. And I have a lot more gaming stuff I never posted. I only posted the Dragon Night one recently. Well, that was a good one. Yeah, because I told the joke last night and I was like... What do you have to say about Dragon Night? I missed this one.

Should we play the clip? I think we have to. Jaggonite's Dragonite versus Charzer That's the one you want Kevin I'm dropping into I didn't even tell the joke This became crowdwork on accident

It dropped in the ass It seemed like a very responsive crowd It was and I was shocked about that Because it's my hometown And not a lot of nerds In my hometown It was more of my like hot friends

came out It's always the difference It's always the difference First crash When I was six years old Was Dragon Night The Pokemon Oh no

He's hot, yeah, yeah, he's, he's, he's like, okay, we got a pro-bye great into it. I'm going to tell this joke though. You put Charzar, I mean, listen, we can make this a whole pro-fogam on night. Listen, I'd fuck Charzar too, like, but Dragon Night, excuse me, Charzart's hot, but Charzard goes to the gym. Like, that's, he's already too hot for me. Dragon Night, he just drinks a lot of Milwaukee. his best. That's more of my mind.

When you're 35, you can't fuck Charzar. Yeah, I didn't fuck the Dragon Night. Okay, I'm done. Like, my parents were at this show, by the way. It's your own comment. You left here. That whole bit was seven minutes long,

but I cut it up because the crowdwork part was so funny. Because I talk about how the Dragon Night Evolution is what I love so much, because they basically turn him into a high school football coach. And that's like the whole bit. But I didn't even get to it because the audience was like, I'd fuck Charz. I was like, I guess this is my, my crowd work,

my first crowd work, my first crowd works and be asking the audience what Pokemon they would find. I did it last night and it did the same thing. There was two people in the audience arguing over a Pokemon. I was like, listen, I'm still talking. We're very passionate about this.

Michael Heim was there too. Yeah, of course. Him and his Pokemon. We're just out of him right now. Card of War. Card of War. But it was, yeah. And it's fun because when you do have the people

there that are into it, it's great. But then there's always a corner of like old people who are just like, we just want to see a show what the fuck is a dragon night? Someone sold us these tickets on the street. My mom was like, after a show, she goes, okay, I have to ask, what is Bukake? Oh, no.

This is between you and your computer when you get home tonight. And I posted a video of asking my mom, mom, what's Bukaki? She goes, it's Japanese porn. Like, yes, my daughter has educated me. He's a third evolution Pokemon. I have so many other gaming jokes I haven't posted because I'm like I need to not over saturate.

Like I can't just burn out my material online. Yeah, that's got to be tough. Yeah. And I have more that I like want to write. But I'm like, I got to stick to what I have now so I can get a special out so that it's out there. And then hopefully that'll do something. But yeah. So how long have you been doing comedy?

10 years. Okay. Off and on. Yeah. 10 years as in I started 10 years ago, but I quit a lot. And then the pandemic, I started Twitch streaming. And then the Twitch streaming really helped build. like the niche gaming stuff like because it's like I I'd be streaming and then like my audience

who I love my community would always like say stupid shit that would make me laugh and I'm like oh yeah I'm gonna put that in my bit about like how like some of my Twitch viewers will come to a comedy show and they'll introduce themselves as their Twitch name and I'd be like oh what's your name it's like OBGYN canoby and it's like what's your real name? Like I'm not gonna call you Tom Hanks Taint in person so yeah and it's I think it's helped a lot and I And I think the cool thing about living in LA is that everyone is aware you can't just be a comedian. You have to do other things. And so I have no credits.

My credit is I stream on Twitch, but everyone in comedy is like, she's fucking famous on Twitch. I'm like, I have like 40 people watch me. But thank you. I'm glad you think I make so much money doing this. But it helps like, oh, I'm doing a nerdy comedy night. Like you should be on the show. So it's like I am diving into the gamer comedian stuff, but I also want to be booked for the other gigs where they're like, I want to have you on my show.

but like you just talk about fucking Pokemon. I'm like, I fuck other things like a time. Or the lack of. I'll fuck anything for the show. It's fine. Just not a comedian. It's okay. But no.

So it, I'm in this weird part in my life where it's like that stuff is doing well, but I also like need to do the other things as well. So I'm just always, I just don't sleep. Yeah, fun. I just travel a lot and I don't sleep. And then I need every person here to come to a show.

There you go. It feels like, yeah, you're riding this way. right now because you are doing Zanis, which is a big deal. And you are doing the show. You sold out last night in San Francisco. I did. There's a lot going on. It's dope. Yeah. It is crazy, though. I feel like it took way too long. But, you know, the pandemic, after the pandemic, there's way too many comedians.

And then that's where we're like, okay, I got to double down on the thing that it makes me well known. It's either the 2001 emo photo or it's the gamer jokes. And then, yeah, you messaging me and have me on the show. I'm like, this worked. And the show that I record that at, I did the thing where I rented out a studio. I had a bunch of people come. I said, hey, I'm going to do all new jokes or mainly new jokes, just hoping to get some clips because I'm very, I work for myself. I don't have a manager. So if there's any managers, just know I've worked too fucking hard, okay?

Because I book all my own rooms. I do all my own tickets, all of that. So I just, I rented the studio in L.A. called Petty Cash. It was amazing. I had like 30 people show up. And I was like, that's enough for me to know if these jokes will do good. And then that's where the Eldon Ring, Dark Souls and all the other stuff I came,

came from. 30 people, friends and family, or were they just like... Well, so what happened is I booked a show two months before to do that, and the person who ran the room forgot to record my set, and I was like, God damn it. So I redid it, and I luckily got some of those people in, but I'm like, you already heard this. So we'll see if it's funny enough to tell again, and it did. And so now I got to figure out how I'm going to do this, so like a broad audience, like Zanies, or like when I did Dallas Comedy Club, like, these audience, are they going to be able to

get these jokes? So it's a gamble. Yeah, for sure. So it's like, I'm half my hour set is Normie shit and the other half like my my opening joke is about streaming on Twitch and it's my it's such a good opener like I'm never getting rid of it because it also tells me like does anyone here know what Twitch is is anyone here a gamer I see people like raise their hands and I go okay okay so for those who have sex I'll explain what Twitch is to you guys and then and it's like good enough to like get people going but then I'm like okay so most of the audience didn't know what Twitch was so I'm not going to dive too deep in the gaming stuff but if a lot of people do know then I'll I'll keep going with it and then I will set back, go to the other things, and then I'll go into the gaming stuff.

Fascinating. Yeah. So it's weird. I'm figuring it all out. And it took 10 years to do this. So I love it when someone does comedy, does one clip, blows up on TikTok and gets, you know, in the comedy store within a year of their career. It's really nice to see. Really, I love it, you know.

But also, because of that, a lot of people don't take me seriously, which is kind of sad in L.A. Because it's like, yes, I came from a different state. I did nine years of comedy in Seattle. and I come here and like, oh, she's a Twitch streamer. She's a Twitch streamer. She has a big following because of Twitch. I was like, no, no, no, no, no. Hey, no one on Twitch has Instagram.

Okay, they're all on Twitch. Mine is all from comedy. So I have to like constantly prove myself as a comedian on top of like, you know, being a woman in a male dominated space. And like, and that has been really like hard on my ego to navigate just being like, no, I've been doing this for a while. Like, I know you guys think that I got all this fame from Twitch. which is ironic.

No one got fame from Twitch unless you started before the pandemic. And now it's like, if I have the audience show up, I have the email list and seeing that people want to come see me, then it's like, okay,

I'm willing to take the risk. Because I have bought rooms and like 10 people showed up and I'm like, okay, you guys are all liars. They're like, oh, I don't go to comedy shows. I just stay online. I was like, well, you ruined my life.

I have no, I'm in debt because of your decision. to sign up for that email list. So yeah, it's just like a constant being like, no, no, no, I am a professional comedian. I just so happen to do gaming. I just so happen to be more talented than you guys are. No, I'm just kidding.

So it's a really tough thing to navigate, but I think I'm at a spot now where things are like starting to work out a little. But yeah, it's the thing I was saying earlier before he started this, it's like, I need to do more comedy locally and like show my face, but I also need to stream more.

So it's like, I'm going to come home tomorrow. I'm a stream, you know, three nights a row, them and do comedy all weekend, then come back and stream, and it's like, when am I going to get a job? This is my job now. Well, you're so good at haggling the tattoos. Like, you know, your budgets down well. Eventually, those tattoos, I won't have to pay for. I'll just get sponsored by a tattoo.

There you go. They'll just, I'll have all the sponsors. Walking Abbott's funny. I was going to say, we'll pay for it kind of funny. We'll put a hymns tattoo right here. It's fine. We have some more super chats. Alex Fraser says, I got a tattoo on my ankle that I drew blind out of a gumball

machine. That's a story. I wonder what that, like, is that like a dedicated thing at the tattoo parlor? They have it and it's like, you just pull it out and it's a randomized like thing or a little drawing or something like that. Drawling. Oh, I see. He wasn't drawing it blind. He drew...

He is a gacha machine. He got the thing. Open it up. Yeah, that's a thing. Gotcha. That makes sense. Okay. I thought he had... I thought he was drawing it on his ankle or whatever. Like, not That is not advisable with the tattoo. I see. Okay. That makes a lot more sense.

DJ Canto says, I have Game Over tattooed on my fingers. I'm also in a book of Star Wars tattoos called The Force in the Flesh. Whoa. Tattoo's role. I mean, if that, this is a fucked up thing you can say. You have Game Over tattooed on your fingers, like on your knuckles. That's the knucks. So like if you murder someone, you just do this.

That's super sick. Game over bitches. That's a next horror film right there. From soft service says the back tattoos easily the coolest thing I've ever seen. It is pretty freaking sick. People know how much pain it is. That's why.

Yeah. Like lots of people just like want to shit on people having tattoos. There's a lot of bad tattoos. But if you get your fucking back then like, okay, that bitch is dedicated. I did get a lot of fake gamer like tags on my Eldon Ring thing. They're like, oh, look at her using Eldon Ring to beat the algorithm. I'm like, yes, because that's what you, that was your plan. That's exactly what every normal person thinks on the internet.

If I just write a joke about Eldon Ring, I'll get the nerds on my side. Right. Christ. Mr. Hawk says, my spouse and I got Papau fruits on

our ring fingers. It must work since our nine year anniversaries next month. So Andy, good luck with Mike forever. Congratulations.

And that's awesome. Yeah, but you and Mike should get the Papau tattoos. Oh, thank you. Okay.

You need to get you dyed tattooed on you. There you go. Another great serial killer tattoo, you know, just a tramp stamp of you

died. That's actually pretty good. Honestly, someone out there has it and I need to see it. Oh, somebody has that. I glanced over at your screen and I saw some things. Do you have things you want to bring up potential tattoos that you might want? Oh, sure.

Yeah, I didn't know where we were going. So I just prepped Kevin with stuff. I'm interested in. I'm part of the tattoo community as well, as you remember. Of course. I have the Portillo's paw print tattooed on my arm, of course, because I'm a true. Tattooist. Tattooist.

And like, yeah, you know, the idea I had always thought of wanting logos. on my arms or whatever, like Missou or whatever, but especially Peace Walker. We've talked about it before of like, I think it'd be cool to get the Peace Walker logo. I originally a long time ago, this is the Peace Walker logo, of course, if you're watching, you know it.

If you don't, what's your problem? Go figure out what it is. You're a psychopath. I like it. I like Peace if you didn't know about this about me. No, wow. Good for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A lot of people are pro-war. I'm pro-peace. You don't see it a lot, you know? It is weird living in L.A. now because I'm from Seattle, and I moved to LA a year ago and I never showed my tattoos or saw tattoos because it's cold weather

and now I see tattoo at the time and I'm like oh my God they have so many tattoos like I see other people's tattoos like insane like I don't notice as much anymore Oh yeah it's like oh my god that person's all tatted up Like that's crazy why would they do that to themselves Why would you tattoo your hands? Do you not want a real job Like that's what my brain thinks

So yeah I always thought about a peace walker Originally Kevin if you show Peace Walker 2 I thought about getting the Militaries Saint Frontiers one, but that's a little too hardcore. You know what I mean? Like the skull and stuff like that. Yeah, I like peace more than like skulls. It's definitely a little too much, yeah.

But then I've actually, this is, I'm using this for my own personal game. Okay. Because there has been an evolution in my tattoo game off of a conversation with Jen. And I was like, oh, that's actually really brilliant. But I'm not good enough to do it. But Andy Cortez's.

What's up? So I want to add to the Portillo-Paw, right? Okay. I've talked before about getting the Ragnarok quote, but where would it fit and yada, yada, yada. Put that on the side. What I was thought about doing is doing all the different iterations of Portie on the arm. And so what I wanted to do, if you throw up Guacamale 2 there, Kev,

what's a trailer is in it, right? Portie was in Guacamile 2, so get his art and put it next to the paw. A better one's-video game tattoo? Yeah, exactly. I'm staying on theme here. Oh, yeah. It pops up here eventually in the trailer, a little Portie. You'd have to scrub for it.

It's a bad example, Kevin. I should have got you photo. Sorry. Jump. Well, he's going to show up somewhere in there, right? And there's this. There he is, right? Get this little porti on there or whatever.

You have to throw a quick pause, but it doesn't matter, Kevin. A better one is Toem. If you click Portillo and Toem. So get Portie from Guacamale next to the paw and then get this screenshot of Portillo from Toem on there, right? And so what I need you to do, Andy. Yeah. Are you going to give a tattoo pen just right here? I mean, yeah, that'd be amazing if I could.

But no, instead what I want to do is, I think we need to take a, photo of my arm. Okay. And then I need you as the palette. Because I see like, doesn't we have a pen? No, it's 24. I see like the Polaroid being like there, right? Like you put the Polaroid a Kimbo there. You take a porty from Guacamale and put him there. I figured

the Josh Strickland party from the book or whatever, right? We have a little blossoming porty thing around there. Into the porty. What about the Foxhound porty one that I made a while back? Exactly. You're right there. Exactly. You want a metal yourself. attach you so bad. Yeah. Let's go today. I just want, I just want snake throwing up. That's all it is.

my ideas for tattoos get worse every time. Like Virgil L'Anterr snake throwing up. Let's keep going. Like what else can I get in there? Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I need your help because I can't go in with like four different porties and be like put them on my own. Right.

If we had the tooth, if we flank it. If we could pre-vis this. Do you only have black tattoos? I was a joke. This is my only tattoo. Yeah. It's just the port-a-old. I know, right?

It's so pigmented. My parents wouldn't even let me back on the house after. Yeah. I got, like, I, like, I realize my body does not take color well anymore. Like, I'm going to have to, like, really, like, be careful with this. Like, I have a colored tattoo in my leg that did not heal well, and that just, like, is the territory of getting older, too.

It's like, your body just doesn't heal as properly. Like, my hand tattoos luckily look good, but, like, this was supposed to be green, and it just rejected all the ink. Like, my body was just like, no, you're fine. I'm like, I'm not. Keep going. When did you get that one done? A couple years ago.

actually. So my legs are mainly going to be like black and white just because it just heals beautifully. I always assumed, yeah, if I do more stuff, I would just leave it monochrome. Yeah. I didn't know that was a reason to do that, but that's a reason to do that for sure. Now I'm just like a, now I'm just like a coloring book. My nieces too, like they like took a picture of like a like a coloring book and they like scribbled the arms like, it's you, Auntie Lisa. And I was like, oh, that's so sweet. Thank you. It's actually better than my tattoos. Barrett had his retouched over the weekend. Really? Which one? I think the master sword. Yeah.

I saw it, yeah. And I smacked it just immediately. I said, Hey, man. I haven't gotten much retouch as much. I haven't really gotten any because I, it's like, if I get my tattoos retouched, I have to go travel now. Like, I can't just walk into a shop and be like, can you retouch this? Because a lot of artists are weird about retouching other people's art.

Yeah, I feel that. Yeah. And I was like, I get that. But also, I need more vibrance. So I just cover my arms entirely. And L.A. I was like, I'm going to be, like, dressing like a slut every day. And I'm just like full on black long sleeve t-shirts.

No one can see anything. Yeah, right. Just cover everything. You could just have Kevin just up the saturation like he did earlier. And that's your tattoos that look super colorful. There it is. There it is. There you go.

There's a saturation boost. I've seen you make a comment about this before too, though. Like you're kind of doing like an animated series thing, right? Where they're like, this is your outfit. Like it's the black tank and the jeans. I just like, you have stickers and it's like every clip is either that or the white shirt. He was like, I love that you have a same outfit. I was like, it's called being poor.

But yes. I legit think it's dope. I mean, like, people that watch me, they know. It's like, for the most, every once in a while I get out of it. The Andrew W.K. of comedian. That's fantastic. Like, that's so good.

I do. I basically just wear like a black tank top because it's like, I do stand up. Like, I can't dress over dress on stage. Like, it's like, I need to be the focus. Like, there's rules. Can't wear shorts on stage. Can't wear sandals on stage. Like, like, if my, if my material was a lot more clean and a lot less depressing, then I, yeah,

I can wear some more colors. But I'm like, this is me. You can't wear shorts on the scene? No, it's like a unspoken rule in comedy. You don't wear show on stage. People don't talk shit and joke about you. Yeah. Really?

Sandals. Do you want everyone staring at your feet, you know? It's time to break the mold. This guy is going to push his dick to the next stratosphere. Very heavy. Just the graphic tease in the black tank tops. It's just been like my whole personality. And so when I actually do dress up and go, everyone's like, oh.

Oh. I didn't know you were such a woman. I didn't know you're such a woman. Andy, I know we've talked about tattoos a million times, but where in 2024, as of September 9th, 25th anniversary of the Dreamcast, a couple days after some other events, where's your head out with tattoos?

I mean, I'll probably never get one. We're going to get a tattoo together. I just can't imagine it. I just don't, like, I've always thought about the logos of just things that meant like a timeline. Right. I've always talked about that. That was always like an early thought of I'd get a rush tattoo. I get a Coed in Camry tattoo

Zelda TriForce all that basic shit and just kind of like have it lined across my back right spine yeah oh that would be cool like a health bar In the dead space The dead space health bar right back But I just I don't know I can't really We're gonna do it

It's just also a lot of time You gotta like make an appointment You gotta go there and so You are too much of a flake It's like going to the doctors You gotta make an appointment That's show up That's crazy on a Saturday

Like 1 PM? Most of my tattoos I got within the last like six years because I like went pretty heavy with tattoos obviously when I traveled but like my back was like let's just get this out you know and then like while you're there you just bring your switch bring your phone it doesn't feel like time consuming but think about how much time you sell on your phone now get tattooed stream during it there you go oh a lot of people do that yeah we picked this for the 10 year anniversary for the big stream we have a tattoo artist on set you need a tramp stamp of you dead like it's gonna happen or you died and if you got that that would be legendary let's let's just crowd fund it and it's going to It's going to cost $3,200. It's a San Francisco artist. Maybe, like, could you just learn how to tattoo? You're a very talented artist, as we all know. And if you just, if you had the ability to tattoo,

you'd have a lot of people that would be like, yeah, go ahead, do it on me. You make that money. Well, awesome. No, no. Nobody said money. Honestly, that's another level of it. Of we get the tattoo stuff in here, and Andy gives us all tattoos on the tent.

You do the kind of funny smile. I don't, I think there's, There's a lot of pressure. Like, you got to know the touch. You got to know the pressure, right? You've cut all our hair on content, you know? You shaved Greg Miller everywhere. It's the same thing.

It's equal to each other. It's funny. I basically, and I think about it, I don't have a tramp stamp because I have the middle out. Oh, yeah, you have a reverse. Because I have a reverse tramp stamp. I just realized that. Is that because the spine?

The spine's like empty. I get that for styling. reasons. Oh, okay, got you. It gives you more of a shape. You wing an angel. I just wanted to be a yakuza. That's cool. No, I actually donated blood for the first time in like six years. I realized it's

the longest I've gone without getting a tattoo. I was like, oh, that's so sweet of you. I'm like, yeah, it's because like my artist, I have to find another artist now. Like, I can't get a tattoo yet, but I was like, wow, this is kind of sad. And I had a friend who's pregnant. She's like, can't wait to like not be pregnant anymore

so I can get tattoos again. I was like, yeah, you don't your baby born with tattoos, so. Because that's how old. Wait, is that really? Like, yeah, you're not allowed to tattoo when you're pregnant. Get tattoos. Why is that?

You're not allowed to do shit, Andy. Why is that? They don't want to eat sushi. Yeah. What? Your baby might become a fish. Fuck. Learned a lot of things today.

How can we convince you to get the, you're dead tattoo? Because I'm really into this idea now. You died. What? The whole, no, no, no. I don't fucking know. If you're one of those like your friends do it.

Like we're in a surprise. Well, it's like everyone gets a lot of people, like the big like early 2000s is to get the motivational on your wrist. Like people get like they get like faith and like strength. You should just get you died. This is my motivation every day. You died. I mean, I'm doing it. I'll do it.

Yeah. God, that looks awful. I couldn't even tell what part of the body was that we were shoulder. The bad thing about getting tattoos at least when you get to this level. is I will literally get anything tattooed on me. I don't care. I'll get no regrets tattooed on me if someone told me to. If someone paid for me to get a tattoo, I'd be like, sure, what is it? I would get it done. It could be a cock with a cowboy hat. I don't give a shit. As long as it's cute, I'll get like, I, listen, I'm never going to have a real job. So I might as well just go

all the way in. You know what I mean? There you go. You're already there. I'm already all the way in. Okay? They know, no rug rats. There you go. No rug rats. No rug. That's great. I'm closer to getting a tattoo than I've ever been in my entire life. That's what everyone says. I know. But I hit the point that I thought of something that I'm like, oh, I can actually, I don't think that I'll rug her at that at any point in my life.

I mean, the Game Boy screen of Moose and that's pretty damn good. Why was that so specific? It's a joke of mine. But yeah, there you go. Obviously, come to Zanis and find out. I would probably be Pokemon related to some extent. But I got to want something that's like the most basic shit. Do the QR code for Pokemon Go.

That way people could just be friends. I had a QR code on me. Andy just fucking killed me. Okay? Like that's like pros of the line. How about this? How about this? How about this?

It's a health bar. It's the Pokemon health bar. Like opponent or whatever. But it says Tim, and because you have two dogs, it's two poca, two little filled in of the six empty balls, right? So two balls filled in the six.

I do like that. I like how, because I want it simple. I don't want it. I can't be doing anything. too crazy. I'm way too. Yeah, you're not insane. Yeah, exactly. You're not me. But I want something that it's like, you know, it's not too cringy, but it's like the right level of stuff. And so I finally thought about it because I like words. I like minimal words. I feel like that's probably the

right way to go for me. And I came up with the idea. So obviously, I want to be the very best. Like no one ever was. And I was like, ooh. That could be your early 2000s tattoo right here. Exactly, exactly. But I feel like I want to be the very best is like, to me, that's crossed the line of like a little bit too on the nose. But like no one ever was on my arm. I want it. Wow. I want it.

Because if you know, you know it's Pokemon when you fucking hear it. But if you don't know, it doesn't matter. It's still, I'm like, what am I? Stay better is definitely the, like, that's that. I have a quote from a sports anime on me. Like, that's how motivational I am. I'm going to go run with the wind, the greatest of all time. Okay.

I have a quote from the anime because it was like I watched it during a very like tough time of my life and then everyone's like oh that's a beautiful quote I'm like it's from an anime about running What's the quote? It's called the mountains of Hokane Are the steepest in the world

It's like their tag they say when they run Like the marathon and it's like I'm gonna cry My 20 year old boys They've worked so hard for this I'm gonna get a tattooed on me Yeah Counterpoint Tim you just get

Squirtle. Just fucking just a big. Oh, just the word. Yeah, just the word. Okay. Squirtle. It's a good word. You know.

Love that. Walk out of the tattoo par. Like, no, I wanted the drawing, sir. I do love the people who, please put squirrel here. I love the people who get the QR code tattoos and when you scan them, it takes you like a shitty YouTube video. I've seen people do that before. I was like, that's going to be me. Body video's entire breakdown of Eldon Ring War.

My Elden Ring tattoo. That's your tramp stamp. That's what you add to the center. I do want to get an Eldon Ring one on the back. of the neck. Like I was thinking about getting Malania's helmet so I have like all the bitches on the back. This is the back. Because I had too many boys on my body. I was like I got to get some

women on there. So I got to choose the Eldon ring. So that might be my next one but we'll see. Might be the rings. QR code, Tim, that forwards you to Nick's Doritos Super Bowl commercial. Got to get more views on that. Gotta get more views on that. Where is it? I also want a Simpsons tattoo. Oh, it's too

much. I'm so glad I'm tall. Not tall enough enough. But I am glad that I'm tall because I have enough room of my legs to get all the stupid shit that I want, so I want a Sekiro tattoo? Do you think you're ever going to be done? Like, is it just when you're full? Yes, I already know.

The hard cutoff, not doing any of this. Just the legs and the back of the neck and then I can maybe squeeze in some of my skull under the hair. Oh, I thought you were going to give us an age cutoff. Yeah, no. Do you have like an age, like, once I hit 40? My goal is to get really rich

from all these gaming jokes so I can just crowd fun all my tattoos and get them done by the end of next year because I know as you get older they do not heal as well and they get worse Who would you get from Sekiro?

The wolf? Would you get the one? I almost think about getting the dragon. There's no bitches in Sagero I really care about. No.

I mean, there's Emma. Lady butterfly? Yeah, lady butterfly. The old lady butterfly. Yeah, I want the hot young bitches on me. I shouldn't call them bitches. They don't exist.

I'd probably get the divine dragon just have a dragon tattoo. The good boss white, you'll get there one day too Or it would just, maybe it's just the death sign. There you go, get the Sekiro death sign tattooed on you.

Tramp stamp. There you go. I'm always skeptical of like getting Japanese characters tattooed on me because I'm like, this is not my language. But yeah, I would probably just get Sekiro tattooed on me if I was going to do it. Yeah.

I blame them for having just the coolest-looking language though. I just need to stop playing video games so I can stop having ideas for tattoos. Because now I want a- That'll never stop. Now on a yaku is a karaoke tattoo like I want everything there he is there's the dragon from secular

I get a cure our code that takes you to Baka mitai on YouTube that'll be it there you go right there dragon holding like a spear yeah he's got a big sword it's fucking hell a cold it might be the moonlight great sword because they hide it in all their games I experienced

I recently yeah bloodborne you don't mean nerds get mad at me that I'm actually into this shit it's so great it makes guess how many views Nick's Doritos commercial as now. I'm trying to think of what it was last at. Maybe I'll say

2.1 million. 2.1 million? I don't know where it's at. 2.1 million. Try 87 million. Wait, what? 87 million views. Many years ago,

just for fun. I love this kind of funny lore. Remember those Doritos Super Bowl commercials where it's like, make a commercial and you might fucking win. Nick made three commercials, just for fun, just on the week. did not win.

I don't even think we entered correctly. Like, like, we don't think we just did it just for fucking fun. It was so much work. And then we, he put them up on his YouTube channel and the one of them is at a hundred and 10,000 views one of us at 5.5 million.

And what is it? 87 million fucking views. Holy shit. What's, I mean, even crazier about it though, right is the fact that you said, you know,

one's at 110,000. That's the one they did is like, that's the, 2019 one where they were like, let's just come back and make another one for fun. Oh, that's right. Oh, because the third one,

the old third one is at $683,000. The one with Matt Batson has that many. I think the most views ever gotten something is like $7 million. And that was like TikTok. It was my first TikTok clip because TikTok was like, we're going to rise you to fame. I was like, no one follows me on here.

But thank you. It's a joke about my stoner parents. It got like six million views. And everyone's like, you need to have more jokes about your parents. I was like, I do. But they're still. owners. So, you know, it's a slow build. It's a video that I used to watch when I was a kid of how I knew my parents were like, high, is that we were watching like my fifth birthday party and I was, my dad was filming my mom put up a pinata and he says to her, Yvonne, did you remember put the candy of the pinata? And she's like, yeah. And then five minutes later, I bash it and it's empty. And then like there's just a scene of her like throwing out candy.

And I say it's like she's feeding chickens And a coop and I posted it out on TikTok And I got like 6 million views I was like post a video post a video I'm like it's like on like a shitty little cassette tape Like somewhere in my parents' basement Like it's a memory that I have watching the video So now I'm like okay now I got to get it

But now I posted it like four years ago So I'm like oh no one's gonna remember it Oh it's a brand new audience I got repost it now There you go All right I'm mind blown by this Because it gets crazy

I forgot that they did three new versions a couple years later. And one of the best 1.6 million views of the new ones. I'm saying we should have... We should do that Doritos fandom. We should do these channels, these videos here. People, they yearn for Doritos. They yearn for the Doritos. This is crazy.

What's the Nugdome at? Nugdome is at $40,000. Yeah. Yeah. So we didn't bring back. Oh, man, everybody. Lisa, you've been awesome. Where can people find you?

On everything. At Wiesel Lawlin on everything. You can find me on Twitter, Twitch, Reddit, TikTok, kind of YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Eventbrite, everything. It's the only Wiesel Lawlin out there, thank God. But yes, I'm basically, the things I care about the most is Instagram because that gets me more bookings, the more followers you have. But Twitch, because that can get me money.

and TikTok because it's, you know, it's TikTok. But I'm on everything. I'm too online. Aren't we all? Yeah. They're like, how are you applying for jobs? I'm like, no, but I have five followers today. Who really, who really, you know, knocked out of the park there?

Who made the best use of their time? LinkedIn hype. Remember, that's W-I-S-A-L-L-L-L-E-N. Yeah, we-W-L-L-E-N. I was only following you on Twitter. I just followed you on Insta. Oh, I literally just live saga from 79.8 to 79.9. Let's get her to 80.

I'm dropping your Insta in the YouTube description. Go check that out, everybody. And like we were saying earlier, while this fun is ending, new fun's about to begin. Those two are about to stream Dark Souls. One controller, two human beings. How many brain cells? I'm not quite sure.

We're going to have to wait to find out. If you're watching on Twitch, you can just stay exactly where you are. If you're on YouTube, you're going to have to make the jump over to the other link. Is she on Vine? I wish I was on Vine. Are you kidding me? Let us know in the comments below what video game tattoo you either have or are thinking about getting. And until next time, I love you all.

Goodbye. Bye. So fun.