Kinda Funny Gamescast: Video Game Podcast - You Think THAT Game Is a 5 Out Of 10?! - Kinda Funny Gamescast

Episode Date: July 9, 2024

Greg, Bless, Mike, and Tim run through the entire Kinda Funny review scale and give their examples of what game matches every score. Let's talk about some BAD video games. Time Stamps - - Start - Housekeeping - Tim’s 10-6 Game reviews - TotS: We redid our review scale, so let’s give some examples: 5/10 -  4/10 Meh - 3/10 Bad - 2/10 Awful - 1/10 Gollum Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up and welcome back to the Kind of Funny Games cast for Tuesday, July 9th, 2024. Of course, I am your host, Tim Getty's. I am joined today by blessing at E.O. Yee Jr. Good day, Tim. Snowbike Mike. Bless. Great to have you back. Come on now.

And Greg Miller. Here's the problem. What's the problem? Mike tried to steal my seat again today. All right. I came and he was sitting in this seat. I thought that's Andy's seat. It can be whoever's that you sat when we did this last time.

Got him, Tim. He fucking got you, Greg. Got him, Tim. God. What a world. live and Andy's still not here Mike how does that make you feel I miss him a lot I'm thinking about him I'm fucking dare you reached out to him yesterday just to let him know that I'm thinking about him you know but bless I'm happy you're back I will say you are the first person I see every morning when I walk in

very different without you last week just I mean I'm sorry about that yeah yeah but I'm only if only I got a tweet from you you know we'll make a magnet of you and I next month all right I appreciate it thank you I remember of course the Patreon platinum item for this month is the uh Mike and Andy best friend the pendants. Is that what those things are called? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We have two halves of a heart when we come together. We make a full heart. Of course, of course. We rarely do that, though. He doesn't let me connect my heart

with him often. You understand I was gone longer than him. Yeah, but like I, you know, I was in distress. I think about him, you know? You know, I didn't know if I was going to make it. I was fighting for his life. I was fighting for my life. Andy's having the time of his life. Time of his life is right, but I had to check it on him, you know.

Remember, this is the kind of funny games cast where each and every weekday, we get together to talk about the biggest reviews, previews, and topics in video games live on YouTube, Twitch, and podcast services around the globe. If you love what we do, please support us with the kind of funny membership on Patreon or YouTube to get all of our shows ad-free. You can watch us record them live and you get a daily exclusive show that we like to call Greg Way.

For a chance to be part of this show, you can submit your thoughts and opinions as YouTube super chats as we go. And bless, let me tell you right now. Something tells me people are going to want a super chat today. Get their thoughts out there of games they think Are certain review score numbers that we're saying And also thoughts on our takes on this Because I think things might get a little bit spicy

I'm curious on what games people think are two out of tens Yeah Like are the takes out there going to be sane It's gonna be a lot People are gonna have Things hills that they're gonna die on You know what I'm saying That's three or four souls games you can put down there

Wow name one Sakerra Name one walking out Don Some housekeeping for y'all Kind of Funny Games is an 11-person small business, all about live talk shows. Today, you already got some Bioshock for Talk on Games Daily.

At 2 p.m., you're getting our coverage of the once human launch. That's going to be Mike and Greg. Streaming and having some fun. If you're a kind of funny member, right after this episode of Gamescast, we're doing a in-review a little earlier than normal. So right after Gamescast, we will be doing our Deadpool in-review rewatch.

Really, really, really excited about that. Then later, you can get to, day's Gregway, which is Roger and Barrett showing you how the studio works, a little behind the scenes action. A lot of people have been asking for us. A lot of people have been asking for it, Tim. So now you'll be able to see it. Thanks for making our dreams of reality. Patreon producers Carl Jacobs and Delaney Twining. We appreciate you so very much. And of course, because of the level you're out on Patreon, you're going to be able to get the Andy and Mike pendant and a little friendship bracelets as well. So Joey handmade friendship race. 100% handmade. This is awesome.

Today we're brought to you by Shady Rays in a Better Paradise, but we'll tell you about that later. For now, let's start with the topic of the show. Tats, tats, tats, tats. Last week, I missed the episode, y'all did. That was, you think that game is a 10 out of 10. The crux of the conversation, the topic of the show, was going through the kind of funny review scale, our new 1 to 10 scale.

And what our examples that each one of us would say is at the level. So people can understand kind of our taste, kind of when we're grading games, when we give a new game a review, what is in our mind? Like, what are we kind of stacking it up? up against. Obviously, a lot of nuance in there. Our thoughts can change over time as they often do, and that's the whole point of our review scale. But this is us trying to, as best we can, authentically get across what we think a 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, et cetera, et cetera is. But because I missed that, because today's episode is going to be talking about 5 to 1. Quickly, I do want to go

through my 10 to 6. Thank you. Very excited. I didn't need applause, but I appreciate it, though. I'm always happy. I missed you. I remember last time when we did this, we thought we'd do it all in one episode, but we talk too long. So we had this is what it and have. That's fun, man. And I like it. I am excited to go through this. And yeah,

what's interesting is I can't wait to get to the five to one, the main topic of today, because I feel like that's going to be very difficult to really try to define what a one is versus a two versus a three. I think it's a lot more challenging than a 10, 9 and 8. You know what I mean? Like there's, I feel like more games that we even have played that are on the higher scale, even including the six and seven's there. But yeah, once we get a little lower, I think there's going to be some good conversation afoot. But going off real quick, when I put my list down, I was the last one because I wasn't on the show.

So I came up with mine yesterday. So I got to see what y'all put down. And I going in was like, I want to make sure that as much as possible, I'm not just choosing the same thing that other people are. I want to try to add something different. But I was telling less this on Games Daily. The problem is when I think about what a masterpiece is, what a 10 out of 10 is, the first thing that comes to my mind is Zelda Tears the Kingdom. And I feel like because of that, I got to put it there. Because that to me really is the epitome of a masterpiece video game.

10 does not mean perfect. 10 means masterpiece. And Zelda Tears at the kingdom to me is the Shining Star example of I can go back and give many games, like many classic games of 10 and they are tens to me. But I feel like Zelda in recent times has redefined what a masterpiece can still be to me in terms of wowing me with what a video game is. My number nine, I would say Final Fantasy 16. Not perfect.

Not a masterpiece. I think that it has some issues story-wise, pacing-wise, side quests aren't as hidden necessarily as the core stuff most of the time, or at least all of the time. But what is there, the story, the emotional moments, the music, the gameplay, the amount of combat scenarios you can have. I absolutely loved it. It had such a great time. And to me, Final Fantasy 16 is an amazing video game. What do you think holds it back from being a masterpiece? Kind of what I was saying there.

I think there's some of the story beats got a little bits, maybe just not enough time given to them. Like I feel like some things were introduced, like specifically the mid storyline, like, of her kind of building the ship and stuff. I didn't really love where that ended up. I think I was expecting a bit more from that because the game in so many ways showed me when they set something up, they're going to pay it off in a major way. Sure, sure, sure, sure.

And yeah, just some of the side content, I think, just didn't necessarily live up to being worth it. And I think another big problem is, and this is a story-based thing, but the game, without spoilers, something happens, and then the majority of the game looks different. And I feel like that kind of gets in the way of like, the game

got a little drab looking. For an extended period of time, and that was kind of a bummer to me. But besides that, it's an amazing game. And I proudly call that a nine for me. That's one where I feel like, depending

the day I wake up, I could see myself giving it either an 8.5 or maybe a 9. Like, it's weird looking back at it where I think coming off of it freshly, I was like, yo, this is fucking one of the best things ever experienced. And as I look back and I'm like, oh yeah, like I try to break down the themes or break down certain moments in my mind. And like the thing that sticks out to me from that game are the moments, like are the big battles, are the, you know, press L3 or R3 to accept the truth, right? Like those types of things. But then when I start to think deeper about it, as far as like, how do I feel about how it balances themes? How do I feel about, like, certain things Tim's talking about as far as, like, even

side quests and how, you know, I feel like the side quests, either, in many points, either felt thin or quick. I've heard very good things about some of the endgame side quests that I actually didn't get to, unfortunately. But yeah, there are certain things there where I balance enough where I'm like, okay, maybe, like, I think coming off of it, I would have given it a nine, looking back at it, maybe an 8.5, but, like, I wonder if I replayed it or if I went to the DLC, maybe I'll bump it back up.

Yeah, I can see it, are you. for an 8-5. But I feel like at the end of the day, I'm in a similar place to you, but I think that definitively it's a nine to me. And I feel like that when I reflect on it a year after release and how that game has stuck with me and playing the DLC and having as

much fun as I did and how incredible the scale of the icon fights are, it's just delivered what I'm looking for from a video game in ways I never expected a Final Fantasy to do. So yeah, nine, amazing. Question. Yes. What would you give Mario 64? Oh, he got him.

It's tough. The answer is a 10, though. Yes, okay. The answer is a 10. I just is. It's a masterpiece of a video. What would you give Mario Sunshine? Myr's Sunshine. I honestly would need to read. I haven't replayed it fully through in too long when the collection came out. I played through like half of it. And based on my feelings there, I would probably go seven.

Like I think Andy's insane for how low he is on it. But the game does have problems. But it also has some amazing water physics. and the flood, when you are going with that stuff, Mario has never moved better at that point in time. He has since moved better in many different ways. Shout out to Odyssey. My number eight, this is where I think started getting interesting

looking at some of y'all's picks, because I feel like I have some takes here that I'm like, ooh, I want to make them alongside y'all to show the differences between us because Bless had Spider-Man 2 at an 8. I put Spider-Man 1 as an 8. I prefer two to one and I think Spider-Man is one of my favorite

games ever but it really is a great game to me I feel like there's enough things about it that I either did not like some of the stealth mission things as MJ and others and some of the extra bonus content or not bonus content but the things you had to do and you had to do a lot of figuring out

the different science projects and all that stuff like I loved the concept of it I did not love it from an execution standpoint and my biggest issue with Spider-Man one is the final third of the game, throwing the Sinister 6, it just goes, ba, blah, blah, blah, blah, and it, like, I would have loved for those characters and those moments to get as much love as some of the other characters in the game did.

Would you be going eight flat here or eight five? Eight flat. Yeah, eight flat for Spider-Man one and nine for Spider-Man two. Okay, okay. And do you think, do you think at the time you would have given it in eight-flat or anything I think I did with time? I think, yeah, I think, I don't, know if we weren't reviewing with our scale back again, but we often say, like, I would give this

whatever. I'm pretty sure I said, like, this is an eight to me, but like, it's, that's critical versus like how much I'm enjoying it. I think of course, of course, yeah. It's so fascinating because, yeah, I think this comes back to the conversation about, like, feelings changed and opinions changed. Because, like, when I think about how I felt at the time about Spider-Man one, I think I probably would have given Spider-Man one a nine out of ten, whereas, like, at the time about Spider-Man 2, at launch, I probably would have given it an 8 out of 10, but I would say that Spider-Man 2 is better than Spider-Man 1. And so, like, I don't know if that means my feelings are changed about Spider-Man, or if it is just the fact of when you play Ensonomi-X Spider-Man

for the first time and you experience, like, those web swings for the first time and the combat for the first time, and, like, you experience that version of Spider-Man. Like, for me, there was nothing like it, right? And, like, there was something special about that first time. Picking up Spider-Man, too, even though it is, like, I think, marginally better, there, still wasn't that feeling of, oh, this is my first time swinging the Spider-Man. It was my first time using the wingsuit. But like, it was dope. Which was dope.

But it didn't hit the first, like the first time I swam, web swing, web swing. Web swung. Web swung through the, through New York City, right? Like, there was something special about experiencing that in 2018 for me. Yeah, absolutely. And I think that, uh, this comes down to a lot of just like, uh, preferences and differences and differences in people's opinions on, on art. And I feel and I've learned about myself over the years that I tend to find the most,

enjoyment from oh I loved this thing but now the next one is just more of that thing but better and refined whereas I feel like a lot of people value the freshness and all but you'll never forget your first time like I think about it and I'm just like last of us two over one god of war ragner rock over god of war spider man two over spider man and game over infinity war like and I feel like I'm in the minority on a lot of those but it's like it's how I feel so it's uh very telling to me of like okay cool I think about things that way often I guess and there's a lot of times where the sequel doesn't pay off. The sequel's not as good, and I don't think that. But for these scenarios that a lot of people's criticism of, oh, it's more of the same or it's not

hitting like the first time. Totally get that. But for me, I'm... Well, that opening a Spider-Man 2. Come on. You know what I mean? Not just opening Spider-Man 1. One was bad, obviously. Yeah, but... Spider-on 2 was... Do you feel the same way about Padapon 2 over Pat-upon 1? I don't have enough experience. How do you feel about that? Yeah, I don't Pat-upon 2 or Pat-Upon 2, which I know is crazy because, of course, Pat-Upon 3, you just had your one hero rather than you're tired. It's a whole thing. Of course. Of course.

Then at my seven, this was another one that I was like, I don't want to put one down that someone else did. But Mikey had Guardian of the Galaxy at seven. And I'm like, you know what, Mike? That is a seven out of ten good game to me. It's a good game. It's good. It's not,

I feel like that it was definitely held back from greatness in very clear ways. Like, I could never give it an eight. Like there's, there's too much gameplay missed opportunities, too much saminess. But the story, the performances, the music,

the boss fights. all of that stuff I'm like this more than make the cameos and Easter eggs and the love put into this it's more than okay to me and I know Bless had it as a

okay as an okay so yeah I just I like kind of setting that there of where we think about these things and then going down for me my number six an okay game

Star Wars episode one racer you know we're always out here we're always out here talking about swimming and sevens at least But sometimes we just want to, you know, be out there shining in sixes, all right? It's like, you've got to love Star Wars Episode 1 Racer for what it is. You forgot about how it was.

Oh, no, I've played. In 1999 when it dropped, I don't know if that's the right year. That shit hit different. Oh, it hit different. And I feel like it's a game that for as old as it is, is still as fun today as it was back then. Games have changed, games have modernized. The fun's still there. But I think that it is an okay game at the end of the day.

when you think about how many tracks were fun versus how many tracks were not. I think that's nobody got that far. But that's what I'm saying, man. You can like, you can love six out of tens. I love Star Wars episode one racer, but that is an okay video game. With that blue N64 cartridge.

That means, come on. Pretty fire, though. Come on. Man, anytime you got a cool, different color cartridge, man, what a time. That's what a blue one? That's what is that right here on the internet. Yeah, yeah.

I thought so, too. I was like, I thought mine was gray. But if it's blue, too, Because the only blue cartridge are members, is 007, the world is not enough. Really? Yeah. Special video game.

That might be a six, though. Maximum. That might be a six. This is from limited run. So there's the reason. But nothing beats Donkey Kong. Oh, yeah. With that bright yellow.

Come on. Ocarina Times. Solid gold. Gold. Maximum Carnage when that was a red card. Tony Hawk one was blue. All right, now here we get to the actual topic of the show.

We are going through. Five, mediocre. Four, meh, three, bad. Two, awful, and one, Golum. On the kind of funny scale. Like I said, things might get a little bit spicy. I know I just spent the last 15 minutes talking, but I want to start this off with what I think

a five out of ten mediocre video game is, and it's going to set the internet a blaze. Oh. Sonic Adventure 2. Too high. Too high. You're saying too high. Sonic Adventure too high.

That's what I'm saying. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. Honestly, oh, I've only played, yeah, I've only played, like, the beginning levels of it. And I was like, fuck that. Those are the best parts? This might be a three out of ten. I'm not going to lie.

Yeah, here's the thing. Sonic Adventure 2 is a 5 out of 10 mediocre video game. Another example of a game I love and hold very dearly to my heart and my nostalgia. And the nostalgia fuels a lot of the positivity I have towards the game. Is the game cool as hell? Yes, in many ways. Is the game lame as hell? Yes.

In probably more ways than it is cool. I love the soundtrack. I love the Sonic and Shadow. levels. They're amazing. There's so much fun. But even then, they're also kind of wonky. And unless you know exactly the way the game wants you to play it and control the camera and you're going for those S ranks, which you can do. And there is fun there. That's a very niche type of fun, though. I do not think that that is the way the majority people are experienced Sonic Adventure 2. BKD, I would never touch this kind of shit with a 10-foot pole. Can I get some footage here or a Sonic

Adventure 2 if you don't mind? It's a Sonic Adventure. Sonic Adventure 2, I think, is important to note three very distinct gameplay styles. Oh, Kevin, don't bother hitting on the little cong trying to get it better. You're not getting better than 240P on this guy. Three different gameplay styles where there was Sonic and Shadow going through and what you'd think of more traditional Sonic, where it's like fast-paced 3D platformer, 2D platformer at some points, mainly 3D though.

Then there was the Knuckles and Ruge levels, which were kind of like, you're exploring a big open space trying to find these emeralds, like they were hidden under sand. And then there were the Dr. Robotic and Tails levels that you're kind of in a meck walking around blowing shit up. Out of all those levels, Sonic and Shadow were the only fun ones. Like, let's just all be real here. The Knuckles and Roge ones, Rogue, who the hell cares, man. Those things could have been so much better because those characters were fun to play as. to move around. But the digging and finding the emeralds,

it was just bullshit. Like, there was no great design to that at all. And then the tails and robotic stuff, utterly forgettable. But at the end of the day, there's a lot of fun to love about this game. And I feel like the,

the quirkiness of it gives it a lot of points and the style of it gives it a lot of points to get it up to that five out of ten, mediocre. Okay. Right. Fair enough. Bless. It's funny because I wrote these down last week and I'm like, do I consider these fives or do I consider these sixes now?

Because I have outwriters here and I'm like, actually outwriters out that say is okay. So I'm going to move that up to six. Stranger Paradise Final Fantasy Reunion is another one I have here. And I think in talking to Andy last week, like we're kind of having the conversation about how much of Stranger Paradise is intentional versus non-intentional. because it is regardless of like the quality of writing in some points even those bad quality of writing moments are still fun right like i still laugh when he calls chaos a bitch i don't know if he's i can't remember if he says bitch bravade him but he calls chaos a lot of things and like looking back i'm still like there was an amount of enjoyment i got out of it and i played through this game and i if i could go back in time i wouldn't stop myself from replaying this from playing this game and so like i think that i'll move up to a six um which leaves here this game five dates and like

I might I might use this as like a catch five dates is the one we're putting out of a video girl good pick a good pick

that's the thing is I think this might be my catchall for like a lot of those like whales interactive oh yeah like FMV games where it's like

this is janky this is weird these are like not good but also they are fun if you just accept them for what they are

they're short they're like are they still putting these out? It's been a minute. You and me on PSL live, you talked a lot about the Wales Interactive FMV games. And it seemed like they had one a year for a while.

They're maybe two at some point. Maybe we stopped paying attention to them because I know what. It looks like their last one was 2021, Bloodshore, which we played. We played Blood Shore. But no, they put out 10 dates since then because I played 10 dates, I think, last year. Oh, 10 dates. I was going to say five dates is 2020. Yeah.

So maybe they've just been hit with the recession or something. But yeah, like, you know, 10 dates are all split up there. Like, games aren't really well active. but they serve a purpose. That's the thing is like they serve their function well enough to where I'm like, these aren't bad. They're fun times that I would have my friends

that I'll play at least once, maybe four times in the case of 10 dates. But I wouldn't really recommend them to anybody legitimately. Like if I'm recommending a FMV game, I'm gonna be like, oh, play immortality, right? Like play any of those games, honestly. I need San Barlow stuff.

Yeah, but these are such like guilty, pleasure, junk food sort of games that like for me, even though I would say like, oh yeah, they're mediocre. you know, I still like them. I still flock to them. And so I think that's my, my pick. But even Tim mentioning Sonic Adventure 2 made me think about Sonic Forces.

And I think Sonic Forces might also be five out of ten. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's a good call. Mike? Yeah, this one's tough for me. I had a really tough time looking at the second half of the list. I don't think I've played a lot of bad games.

I know that, you know. But I think it's just tough to, like, think of those and recall them. I think I remember some of, like, the bad games and the moments. but I don't remember like sitting with them long. I'm definitely a person of like, if I'm not vibing, I'm going to leave pretty quick here. And so I struggled on this list, but I did find one that's mediocre to me.

A mediocre game, you know, less than okay. Mediocre is I find some fun in it, but it's kind of just like, okay, it was there and it came and went. And for me, that's Dead Rising 4, right? I think of Dead Rising 3 and 4 in that era of dead rising of how much fun I had with 1 and 2. And I think it was the selection of being in that mall or the casino and more of a closed area.

And then when we went to the first ever, HaleA and Dead Rising 3, right? And it became this kind of big open zone, open world mess of a game. And Dead Rising 4 for me was mediocre, right? I think you can find fun in being Frank West, going back to Colorado and smashing a bunch of zombies. But all of a sudden we started to really add vehicle combat.

We lost the really fun and intense moments of those psychopath fights. and it just never felt the same to me. And so three into four at that early Xbox one era as well, we were really hoping for something. They were trying to find something. They were trying. And I think they were just going with the times, right?

It was all about these big open world games that you could just stay in for a while. And just it never was the same. And so mediocre to me, I had fun, right? There was moments where I laughed and I enjoyed it, but at the end of the day, it wasn't the same as the first two. It's that thing where when you start getting into the dead rising, universe and moving through.

They all somehow run together because number three was the motorcycle one, right? Where the dude was trying to save his daughter and riding his motorcycle. I reviewed as a two. That's two. That's two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then what was threes?

Three, he goes to L.A. And it's the young, it's like a young kid. It's not Frank West. And he, that's when they started adding a lot of big vehicles. And this is the one that's just so it was Christmas oriented together. you were frank again. This is the launch one. We went back to... No, Xbox...

Xbox one had Dead Rising 3, so I don't know when this was. It's all just a blur to me anymore with it once you... Because they all... Everybody, I mean, every one of them, 2, 3, 4, all are trying to recapture Dead Rising 1. Correct. Which in so many ways was lightning in a bottle and was so many, you know, it was the powerhouse of the 360 of look how many zombies we can put on screen. You're playing Dead... Dead Rising and you're, of course, they'm going, man,

this is like Dawn of the Dead. I'm in a mall. Like it was doing the zombie tropes, putting in the Capcom stuff, introducing psychopaths, doing all of these like really novel concepts that really established what that was. And then every time someone tried to ape it, they just couldn't find the fun. Yeah. I mean, this was an era of like Dead Island as well. We were getting a lot of like these big open world zombie games.

And, you know, one into two where they started, you could grab items and put them together like we talked about when we were excited for Dead Rising 1 and what Dead Rising 2 did. But three, like I said, out of these vehicles that just never felt right and then four it was like oh man we're just not gonna we're not getting back to what it was and like i said you can have fun killing zombies mindlessly but at the end of the day it just was a mediocre game Craig what is a five to you uh five mediocre i put immortals of avium of course we've talked a lot about this game in terms of you know their studio ascendant laying people off

winding down the reaction to this ascendant studios comes up all the time in the conversation of, hey, we're a bunch of talented AAA devs who are going off on our own and we're all going to come together and we're making a quadruple game, a game on a double a scale, blah, and you get this game in the end, Immortals of Amyo published by EA, right, from Ascendant, that had cool ideas and I just think had too much scope for its own good in terms of what they were trying to do, what they were trying to create, what they were trying to launch. and for me it's one of those games that I played for review, played all the way through, wasn't that far off on a lot of the platinum chasing things, but just could never and would never be bothered to go back. You know what I mean? Like I remember at the preview event when you sat there and you played it and it was like, okay, like I, you know, I don't get it.

And it's obviously, you know, there's always reviews are eye of the beholder. And I've been, you know, here so many months since we reviewed this and had people come up to to me like, oh, I forget which show it was where there was a conversation about like, oh, you know, the gameplay actually was very innovative and intuitive. And that never was the case for me, right? You're using magic, sure, but you have a shotgun blast, you have a sniper blast, you have a machine gun, you know what I mean? You can call it, whatever you want to call it.

But it was this thing that I played all the way through. And I remember liking Jack's relationship with his mentor that you just saw a little bit earlier. And honestly, that's about it. Right? Like, I played that entire game and I rolled credits on that game. And that game is lost to the... ether of something I had a fine enough time with that I you know I'm never looking I remember I liked her looking at this and like begging for a sequel nor do I remember the story nor do I remember

really thrilling gameplay moments when it was it's a magic shooter I remember when you went and previewed it you came back you're like yeah this is a bunch of former call of duty people making a magic shooter and you jump in there when I previewed it and they were like oh we're trying to be like a marvel movie and like their opening credits had that and there's vibes to that but again I think it suffers from trying, as we talk about these AA studios from AAA people, trying to go far too big with your first swing. And so you can't keep all the tent pulls up, so it's

sags and places and collapses in other places, where it would have benefited them to make a smaller scope game, get it out quicker, I think, introduce us to these characters and drip feed it a bit better than this. Cozy Bear, Superchats in, saying Paper Mario's sticker star is a 5 out of 10 game. Its gameplay was severely dumbed down compared to its predecessors and it set its series on a

bad path for years, but it's two polished to be outright bad. I think that is an incredible, very succinct way to put the legacy of Paper Mario Sticker Star. Super Chat-in, if you all have games, you want to put on any of these numbers here. As we get

to number four, meh. Devil May Cry 2. Oh. Oh. And this is the first game I ever was disappointed by. And, you know, that moment changes you forever.

Sure. I'll never. Never forget walking into the EB games. This is a sequel to a game I love. Devil May Cry was the coolest thing ever. I'm about to play the sequel. This is so great. It was pre-ordered. I had my little slip.

I bring it to EB games. Give it to the guy. And he goes, oh, you read gaming for me yet? And I was like, no. He was like, dude. I can't read. You see the reviews for Devil May Cry too?

And I was like, oh, literally I was like, oh shit. Like, how high is it? And I opened it up. And I forgot what they gave in. But I was like, my heart's sake. And I literally refused to believe it. I was like, there's no way. There's no way.

They're not real fans like me. It wasn't even that. It was more just like something's wrong. Like devil may cry too. There's no possible way this game is bad. And I remember booting it up and enjoying it enough. But it was pretty clear very early on that it did not have anything that made DMC one special. The location, the feel of the controls, the playable characters just,

weren't right. The story was asinine and really just comes down to, I think, the location of it just being very drab, not fun. I was not invested nearly as much as I was in the first game. And I feel like so many of the things that I couldn't even put into words at the time that made DMC one

special were just lacking here. Like the connection between him and Nero and the music just sounded bad and generic while Devil May Cry has always kind of had a sound to it of this like driving butt metal guitar with like a lot of drum and bass and stuff.

This one felt like stock footage music of DMC1, and then you eventually see DMC3 come out and solve all the problems and just go back to when DMC3 is an incredible video game. Put it on scale right now. I would probably say a 9 out of 10, and I don't really have many reasons of why I wouldn't say 10, but I mean, dude, DMC 3, DMC, one of the greatest character action games of all time.

At this point, fairly dated, just because it literally came out in 2005 or so, but like, DMC 3 is incredible. Well, how about five? One day I'm going to play all the way through five.

I just can't find the rhythm. Yeah. I'm not good at it. Five is sick. You would like five. Okay. Yeah. But yeah,

DMC2 is to be a four to ten meh game because while there is still some fun to be had and there were some moments that I still enjoy and I still love Dante and some of the final moments of the type of bat shit and insane that I really appreciate him driving off a motorcycle into hell. It's like, come on, man. But that is a four out of ten to me.

Bless. First of all, I look at Mad, mediocre. And I know we've already had this conversation. But is Mad really worse than mediocre? Yeah. I don't know, man. I don't know. But if I'm giving a game four and a ten,

I have three written down here. I'm trying to think of which one I want to double down on and make my main pick. Because I have written down this game Tamarin that nobody has ever heard of. I remember that. Which is like a Jet Force Gemini clone where he plays a little Tamarin animal

and it's very cute, but the game sucks. Which might actually put it at a three out of ten. I think about it. I have Oni written down here. Oini, hell yeah. From Bungee? Yeah.

And then I have Beyond Two Souls written down here. Wow. Yeah. I think I'll double down on Oni. Just based on like, you know, Tim, so Oni came in mind after Tim mentioned, like, one of the first games that you were disappointed by. And that, like, brought in a flood of games in my brain.

And Oni was one of them of, like, looking at the back of the cover of, like, my PS2 disc case for Oni being like, this looks awesome, right? Like this anime-style, like, action games. where you play as a badass girl and like you have a gun and you're doing all these cool martial arts movements and stuff when I played that game I like I think I forced myself or like I gaslit myself into being like no this a good time this is a fun time I'm enjoying this whereas like I didn't really enjoy it like I look back and I'm like wow I really forced myself to play this video game and like I have like a lot of like nostalgia for it because I think

this game has a lot of cool style and like there is something about the energy of this game that I fuck with real hard, but like the gameplay was just very bland and the combat just felt very janky and like the law, I forget if there was lock on, but if there was like, I don't think it worked that well. And I remember like it being unnecessarily difficult, at least when I was young when I was a kid playing it. Um, yeah, no, this is a game that I think of when I think of four and a 10. And that's a great one, especially for a met. Yeah. Because only for me, I Google it to make sure, January 26, 2001. What that means is that, remember, of course, the, that's, that's, November, December, January,

three months after the release of the PlayStation 2 did the day. And I remember having my PS2 and this being like, you had the PS2, that's great. There was like, what am I playing on it outside of these launch games, right? Bouncer, of course. Coming up. I'll stop you. There's some mic issues happening, so Kev's going to come in and try to

fix it. Just let everybody know. Is it Mike or me now too? Okay, cool. Yeah, I saw chat and I go through. But yeah, it was that idea of like, oh shit, here's one of the first PS2 games to be excited about post-long. launch. This is one of the ones that's justifying it. And I remember getting it blessed and having it and playing it and

Po coming over and me like pitching. I'm like, well, it's like dark angel because we like dark angel with Jessica Alba. Right. It was like, this is like you're playing. But yeah, it was so like mediocre. Right. It was so meh. It was so just like, all right. Like what I, you said earlier, mediocre versus me. Mediocre to me is like, and I can use my example, but I, like, you know, for mediocre, it's going to be Immortals of Avium, right? Where I'm like, the things don't come together, but I can see where this might be fun in a burst or this, that the other right.

Whereas the Matt is like, it's just like, nothing's really wrong with it, but nothing really works with it kind of thing. Where, I mean, Oni's that thing where it's like, I don't remember, I remember doing cartwheels and shooting at Oni, but I don't remember. Like, this is a great time. I think as a kid, I was way more excited about the idea of Oni than actually playing ony. And like, when I would play Oni, I'm like, oh, no, I'm not having fun.

But when I wouldn't be playing it, I'm like, but that game has to be fun though, right? Like, look at it. I'm so with you guys on that. Cool protagonist, cool box art. Exactly. Like, they had so much going for it. Then we got, Mike. What is your meh, Florida 10?

My me is actually a recent one. It's the recent Saints Row. You know, I think about that and, you know, the excitement of a new Saints Row and could they revitalize this franchise? Could they bring it back to what I loved with St. Joe, one, two, can I come back? And unfortunately, I think we saw it. It was a sign of the times. They just weren't quite there on the writing style of this.

The gameplay was very generic. And I think it needed that shot in the arm from what it was back in the day, being that competitor with Grant Deft Auto, where when you were a kid, you were playing St. Roe 1 and 2 going, oh my gosh, they did this. Grant Theft Auto would never do that, right? And then I played this just a couple years ago. And it was like, oh, man, you are stuck in the early 2000s.

We never evolved past that. And we tried to pretend like we're in 2021 with the cool cyber NFT guys. And it just never hit. And I was so disappointed. And on the mess scale, right, you can find a little bit of fun in it. And I think there was a little bit of fun kind of racing around the open world. But you can find that in any game. I think when it came to it, the characters, the Saints again, the gameplay of like just repetitive missions,

fighting those jabroney d and d guys in the middle of the game was like oh this is so bad and so yeah for me saint's row was a met and it was disappointing because i think we all wanted st tro to really come back and make a bigger splash than it did Greg what's before ghostwire Tokyo okay this is one you know this is a great from my scale and what i'm explaining right comparison to immortals where it's immortals i was like well i like the character and i like this relationship And all these show, people are like, oh, they did this thing. I don't know, you know, whatever, whatever. But it's like they were working with something there.

Ghostwire just like, none of it bad, all of it flat, where there's just nothing redeeming about it. I mean, you can look at it and be like, oh, it's pretty, yeah, sure. And like there's a million games that are pretty out of being old to fucking museums there at a painting. It's pretty, you know what I mean? Boring shit. But this whole thing of just like the amount of just nonsense side missions and I, again, I,

I struggle now how, and this is what, two years ago? where I'm not to tell you what the story was. I was a detective helping a dead kid or so. No, a detective bonded with me, right? And it's like, what the fuck was I? And there was so many goofy ass collectibles to go through and get. And like all the stuff that again, you know me. I love, I'm a little fucking piggy.

I love the trough of open world ship. Fill it up with your goddamn ninja games where I'm open world and all around. Oh, I get to go fucking listening on conversations that don't matter. This is a great time. none of this was like this is by the numbers checklist shit that was there it was just like another one where you look at how close I was to platinum

I'm like I guess I could keep doing it but no like I don't none of this was good none of this was great none of this got beyond like I the people who have popped up and like oh man like there's plenty of people who try to offend this game back in the day beyond who have come at me or whatever still say that I'm wrong it's like I guess more power to you I'm glad you enjoy it but it's just

like look at this this was the game. What are we fucking doing? This one was tough when me and Greg reviewed that. This one was a drag to play. My favorite parts were the smaller side quests that were talking about the kind of Tokyo urban legends

where it was like one thing we'd learn about them and like, yeah, and see some of that. But other than that it was like, oh, this is tough to get through this one, not as fun as I wanted. Even looking at right now as you watch like this first person's perspective that this does not feel like I am this person. This feels

so stiff. This is clearly a camera on like a stick moving around. It's like no, I'm good, thanks. Before we get to our threes, I want to get to some of the YouTube super chats here. Mara writes in and says, Final Fantasy 15 is a 4 out of 10 for me.

I loved it at first, and his production values are unreal, but it gets far too messy in all aspects by the end. I wouldn't go that low. I see where you're coming from. I think 4 is, there's enough things about Final Fantasy 15 that I would even say are at least good that I couldn't drop it down that low

but that's fair it's fair SD Turtle saying I'll stop lying Nottie Bear is a 5 out of 10 Nottie Bear is mediocre It's great getting all the stars and levels but the performance is horrible My 10 out of 10 is 3D dot game heroes Oh

Wow Voxel remember that an Atlas published game we don't that's one lost to time That was like yeah we now it's quaint And everybody does it but that was the one where it's like Oh this is just a rip-off off of Zelda. Can they legally do this?

So funny. Then we got C.J. Splits on saying X-Men and Spider-Man Arcades Revenge. Two out of ten. Cool cover, though. I don't even know that one. I didn't know there was an X-Men Spider-Man arcade game.

That's cool. It sounds like it was not that cool, though. Just the cover. And then we have Zanfair saying, here are the first to come to mind games from 10 to 1. Mario Galaxy 1 and 2 as a 10. Halo 3 as a 9. Marvel Spider-Man 2 as an 8

Control as a 7 Control as a 7 I was with you on Spider-Man Luigi's Mansion 2 HD out of 6 A 6! Star Wars Battle for the newest one Louisiana Mansion 2 HD

Off the dome for them Off the dome Off the dome I didn't know they got kicked in the head by a mule right before it You know what I mean? Luigi's Mansion 2 HD OK 6 I don't know that that's that crazy

I disagree But like Here's what I want you to do What do you want me to do Greg? Shit or get off the pie Are you on Luigi's side or you not on Luigi side? I am on Luigi's side. You were on the episode with me where we talked about it

and we gave it a glowing review. You know what I mean? I did it. I did it. Fucking stop trying to play both sides. God Lord. Coming in at 5, Star Wars Battlefront, the dice one. D&D, Dark Alliance at 4.

Brink at 3. Ooh, that's a good one. That's the one we like. I liked Brink. I like the idea of Brick. I'm not going to say that game was any way. No, that game was dubbed. That game was sucked.

Ballin Wonderworld at 2 and Mortal Kombat 1 on Switch as a 1 Gallum. So there we go. There we go. Thank you, Zan Farritt for writing in your list. You can do that as well. And then Kabob says game informer gave DMC 2 a 70 out of 100. DMC 1 got a 95.

A couple things to note there. It might not have been game informer that I looked at. But another thing to note, a 70 for Devil McCry 2 was a travesty at the time. Because we expected on 97, like do better than the first one. And all, it just did not hit there. And yeah, GameSmile gave it a 6.4, like,

tough times out there. Tough times. You know what's not tough? Your support. Thank you so much for all of it. We appreciate you so very, very much. Thanks to your support, you don't need to see the ads. But for everyone else, here's a word from our sponsors.

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Set in the near future, A Better Paradise, tells the story of the ill-fated development of an ambitious but addictive digital game world project led by inventor and psychologist Dr. Mark Tyburn. As the advanced software they developed began to deliver unexpected and disturbing results, the team fell apart under strange circumstances and the project was abandoned. The game world and the super intelligence within were discarded, left dormant and undiscovered. Until now. I listened to episode one on my way to work today and the thing that stood out, of course,

are the performances, but then as an audio drama fan, it was the use of monologues. There's a whole bunch of talking here as it sets up the world that is not that far from us in the timeline and also not that far from us in the technology, which is disturbing, but I'm quite interested to see where it goes. A Better Paradise is out now and available everywhere you get your podcasts. Go listen today and don't forget to follow a better paradise on your platform of choice to make sure you never miss an episode. Joey Radstone Super Chatty Insane, when I think of a 5 out of 10, I think Bulletstorm. That shot was so out of focus.

I played that recently in VR. We're still working on the YouTube. It was so out of focus. It was out of focus. You're right. It's artistic, bless It's artistic, it's provocative All right

It makes you really look at the screen Go what But now we are moving on Not from a 5, not from a 4 Moving on to a 3 What we think is a bad Video Game I'm gonna go way back

Way way way back Ice Climer Ice Climer is a bad video game on NES And I say that With the understanding That I didn't play Ice Climber when it first came out

I played Ice Climber many, many years after the fact, just like I did most video games of that era. And I played Ice Climber for the first time after Smash Brothers Melee. In fact, it probably wasn't until around Brawl when they had the museum function where you could actually demo some old games of where the characters came from, where I think I played Ice Climber for the first time. And I'll never forget playing it and just being like, I think the version I have is broken.

I think something is wrong with this. There's no way it's supposed to feel this way. And you compare it to so many other classic games of this era And you play them and you're like They didn't feel bad They felt good in fact Then you play some like an example Donkey Kong The original Donkey Kong

Kind of tough to control It doesn't feel very modern But it feels right still Like you understand the controls You understand what you're trying to do What you're trying to accomplish You're able to do it The design of the puzzles and the challenges

are presented to you Make sense for how cumbersome the controls are but it was an early time. We were still figuring it out, the amount of character that that game had, the little music cues, all of that.

There's good stuff there. Ice climber just doesn't have that stuff. What's everyone's least favorite thing about 2D platformers? Ice levels, right? Slips sliding around. Like, this isn't fun. That's the entire conceit of this game.

But what if we made it so that your jump was all that you have? You're just, you're moving and you're jumping. But the jump feels like absolute dog shit. And the momentum of which you were jumping, the horrors, motion you have is you just don't. You're pretty

much just moving straight up and you just need, you're being timed so there's like a pressure to get up there quickly, but it feels like you are not at all in control of what you're doing. The music themes, melody, totally fine. Overstay they're welcome. The loop is not long enough for

the quality that we're talking about here. Beating the level, getting the little like the victory chime. The victory chime itself is like freaking 15 seconds long and you're just get at a static screen. This game, not it, man. This ice climber is a bad video game. Damn. You took

him a task. Yeah. Who made this? Nintendo. I mean, I didn't know as one of your heroes or something. I don't know. I don't know. I'll look into it, but while I do that, uh, bless. Yes. Uh, my three out of five, or three out of ten, uh, I had Saints

Row written down here. I don't Mike talked about that for, for a four out of ten. For me, there's, there is enough bad about Saints Row to like bring it down to that three. Like, in fact, I'll describe most of that game is bad, right? Like the riding, I think is not good. The gameplay, like, open world stuff. The more I played that game, I think that was for me, like, the first time I had played

a game that, like, I was pretty committed to reviewing. I was like, all right, cool, I'm going to play this. I'm going to see it all the way through. And then, like, halfway through, I just rage quit. I was like, fuck this, dude. I'm out. I can't do this anymore. So, yeah, like, that's for me on the list.

I got Rugrats in Paris written down here. If you know, you know, the only good thing about that game is the fucking... Yeah, NCT4, yeah. The minigoff is like the thing that carries that game. That game didn't have that mini golf, it would be a two. But the thing that I have here that is like my, I don't know if I'm going to say hot take, but like the one that I'm doubling down on is 12 minutes. That game, I thought was bad.

Like this is one that like, you know, I think I had the expectations of the world of it, right? Like it is. William Defoe, Daisy Ridley. Yeah, it's like all-star cast, really interesting concepts, right? Like, interesting art style. Like I'm, I love the time loop stuff. So like I had so many things here that I'm like, okay, cool. Like this is something I'm excited about.

This something we're all excited about. Yeah. I got far enough into this game where I was offended by multiple aspects of it. One being the like actual gameplay of it, like the puzzle design of it, I just thought was really bad. Just in terms of like how it sets up the time loop stuff and how it like gives zero like, I don't know, like good UX cues for carrying the player through. Oh, you already did this thing. All right. Here's like a shortcut.

So you don't have to do. at every single fucking time. Oh, here's like, here's a clue into like what the next thing you've got to do is because here you got to hide in the closet and then wait for this time and then come out and like all that stuff felt so like, you know, it felt janky. It felt like it added up, but then also every single time that I would fail a thing and meant that I am watching a person get beaten to death. And on the like 15th time of saying somebody get fucking murdered in front of me, I'm like, okay, well now this is starting to get grading and now I'm like, I'm going from, you know, being a little bit frustrated to not being like okay well I don't want to do this anymore

and then like you know that's just talking about the game play of it not even talking about where the story goes and me not just not liking any of the aspects of that like this is one that i would put in the category of oh i think this is a bad video game what i like about you not liking it is is that i think when you get down into your threes and your twos and your ones and stuff it's so easy to come in and be like well the this game is broken it's black tiger it's that you know what i mean like i like that you're like that your review of 12 minutes, obviously you're talking about mechanics in terms of like, I can't

skip this, I've done this before, why isn't there a shortcut? Like, there's that and then there's the themes to it and then there's everything else about it where I think it's, I like that you think it's a bad game, but you don't think it's a bad game in the way of like, I fell through the floor, that kind of shit. And that makes sense. Yeah, I think it comes back to how many things video games are, right? And like, even though video games

are technology and even though they, like, you expect a video game to run well, you expect the graphics to be good or whatever, right? You also have expectations about the art of it. And like, for me, I respect 12 minutes enough as art to be able to call it bad art. And so, like, yeah, I, I, I, the story in the game, in the gameplay design of it for me is, like, hurts it enough to even though, like, I respect the fact that it works, right?

And it has a vision. And, like, you know, I don't, I think they had that vision and they carried it through. But I think the vision is bad enough to where I'm like, oh, yeah, it's not buggy and, like a broken mess of a software. It just is bad as a, for me, a work of art that it does bring it down to this three out of 10 for me. Well said. Mike. Yeah, I have a couple on my bads for number three.

I got South Park Snow Day, which was a recent title that came out. I have biomutons, which I was really disappointed. And that is a bad time. I don't want the little mouse guy or a little man. That mouse guy could have been so cool. Turns out he wasn't. Turns out it wasn't. Who would have thought, except everybody. And then I got

you know, not the worst game of the year, but crime boss, Rock A City. We got to talk about it. We do, Mike. We need to talk about the fact you're giving crime boss, Rock A City, a three out of ten bad. And it was on your top ten game of the year last year. Or whatever year it was. Explore the scale. You got to feel out the scale, Tim.

You know what I mean? You got to feel out the scale, Tim. But Crime Boss, Rock A City, not the worst game of last year, as we talked about. But very interesting concept of bringing a lot of high profile actors on this one. And you're thinking, okay, well, what's the vision here? And the vision turned out to be a mix of payday with Grand Deft Auto, remember when you'd have to go back to your neighborhood and they divvied it all up into a giant map that you would take over different territories with? They did that with this and you would drop it and do the most lackluster missions with the

just loosest gun controls ever. And you would play a mission with 90 seconds of shooting mindlessly, get out of that, go watch a four-minute cut scene that was poorly acted by these high-paid actors, right? and then you would go to another part where you would prepare your mission and you would recruit the most off-the-wall characters that you would ever imagine with some of the weirdest names. Some names I don't even think I can say on the microphone type names. And you would recruit them and they would do absolutely nothing in the mission

and you would go back and forth and do it all over again. And it was one of those that I was stunned that it wasn't as bad as we all thought, but it's just a bad game. So it's a three out of ten, bad game. Greg, bad game. Three out of ten. Three out of ten, bad game. I put Suicide Squad,

killed the Justice League. Oh, okay. You know, when we reviewed this one, we were on the five-point scale. And it's fun to sit here again with this games I'm talking about, and I'm putting on my personal scale and have GhostWire Tokyo above this, to have Immortals of Avium above this, right? Suicide Squad, I think, is a bad video game for a number of reasons.

Again, not the traditional you fall through. the world, it's, you know, that and the other kind of failing. It's more the failing of even if you wanted to take away and hide the fact that it's the Arkham burst and that it's rock steady and it's all these things. Just repetitive mission design that is not fun. You take four characters who could be wholly unique and really different and you just give them the same guns. You can give different guns if you want, but why? Just give them the same guns. You know, Captain Boomerang does not use boomerangs to fight in this game. Even that has Captain Boomerang, how he fight, you know what I mean? Like that kind of stuff.

Just what a miss. If you, I mean, even beyond just the moment to moment gameplay to then get into what the end game is and what their conceit was for how this would be a games as a service of you need to go fight 12 Brainiacs and they will just recycle the boss fights you've already done. Like, come the fuck on. Like, what are we talking about?

Like, it's just a game plagued, I think, by problems, but not the problems you traditionally think of. I think, you know what I mean? In terms of performance, in terms of connectivity, It's just a game from its onset, from its core. It does not have a vision that it believes in in what it wants to be. So it just becomes this where there are a million other games to go shoot. You know, we're talking about, I think, as we've all gone on and every mention of it, right?

Outriders is above this game, I mean, by a country mile, every way you want to slice it, right? In terms of that is a game that is just shooting guns and is doing things, but it is getting different armor types and building out different things and going. And having them matter in a way this one does not do. It just does not matter what you do in this game, who you pick and how you want to play. And that's a heartbreaker for a universe that is as colorful and different as the DC universe. Killer cutscenes. You know what I mean? Like incredible presentation.

It was tough to play this game just to be playing for the cutscenes. That's what I went back and finished it. And it was like, I'm only doing this just because I want more of those high quality cutscenes from this team because it's so cool to see these characters. But the game just was awful to play. That one was tough. And again, just such a disappointment. And while we've been live, Paul Tassie quote tweeted them. It reports two days before launch, season two of Suicide Squad has been delayed two weeks.

That's like the hits keep coming for Suicide Squad. It's going to affect 12 people. A couple more superchats here. We got Jabberart saying Resident Evil 6 is a 4 out of 10. Such an awful slog of a game. And then some more Resident Evil here, Demon Hacker, saying, R.E. Remake covers the spectrum. R.E. 1 remake, 10 out of 10.

RE4 remake 9 out of 10 RE 2 remake 8 out of 10 remake 3 7 out of 10 RE dark side 6 out of 10 Ari Operation 5 out of 10 An umbrella corp 1 out of 10 I love that That's great

And I see what you're going for her And I think that you're kind of on the money With a lot of this Andy's answers are in here I don't know if we're reading those Or avoiding them but like Andy here Has Resiable 6 as a 4 out of 10 Yeah I buy it

That makes sense We got Cole saying and I don't get to catch y'all live, hardly ever. Thanks for all you do. The podcast get me through the days. Also, congrats to Tim and Gia. Thank you very much. And thank you for hanging out here,

and I'm happy that you get to be live with us today. And then Zach Brown disagrees with Bless, saying, how can you give 12 minutes such a low score? It was a great family game. That's a good one. All right, let's get to, actually, yeah, hold on, real quick. You bring up something good with Andy.

He had Trek to Yomi as a five, mediocre. He had Resident Evil 6 as number, uh, four along with Redfall, given that four. Uh, for number, for three bad Super Mario Sunshine and Mario Golf Super Rush.

Breaks my heart to give Mario Sunshine a score that low, but he made his case. Was that the last one? Or was that like, does that, I think so. Was that the Switch one? No, no.

Ain't a way. There's to be three at 10. That's at least. Oh, shit it was. No, that's like a five at least. That's a six at least. That was a fun time. He didn't play the new Dunk City levels.

And then, yeah, that's where we're at. So now we're getting to our number two, awful. Awful on the kind of funny scale. Star Fox Zero is an awful video game. And it breaks my heart. So is Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 5. I'll start with Tony Hawk real quick. I just want to say you guys can go watch my review as I did a let's play back in the day,

2015, I want to say, in the original spare bedroom. and you can see me just like my heartbreak as I'm playing this game and just showing how horrible it was. How excited I was for a new Tony Hawk's pro skater of all things. Could not believe it was actually happening. Screenshots started coming out and like, this does not look pretty. They started making more and more announcements of it. I finally got my hands on the sticks and I'm like, this is wrong. The pros of it, you could play as Little Wayne.

I was tickled by that. And that was a lot of fun. There is. Yeah, you should check this out because it is definitely, this would be the content I go back to everyone. once in a while to watch and I'm just like, wow, you see a sadness in me that you rarely see. But yeah, the things that they add to the gameplay functions of hitting triangle to just immediately stomped down, it got in the way more than anything. The greatest praise I can give the game is that some of the levels kind of resembled

some of the good levels from the past. And that's pretty much it, because otherwise, it was just an absolute disaster that looked like shit, played like shit. Look at your face. And it required a always online situation that just borked the entire. Well, people love that. Man, absolute trash of a game. I can't believe we got remake one and two after this.

But StarVox Zero is the one I'm definitively putting as an awful video game. StarVox Zero, I think, failed to, failed any of the goals it set out to accomplish. StarVog Zero was supposed to be the, this is why the Wii U game pad was necessary video game. Not only did it come at the end of the Wii U game, life cycle, thus justifying this was a bad idea and we didn't

have a unique gameplay gimmick to be able to add to enhance the experience of a Nintendo video game with this gimmick unlike the Wii or 3DS or other things that we've seen the DS. It took Star Fox, a franchise I love so much that I think has so

much untapped potential and tried to apply a gimmick to it that just simply didn't work. The concept was there. I get what they were going for. Use the game pad to kind aim as you're going and also control with the screen. It just didn't work to have to look at the game pad and the screen at the same time. It never felt right. And there's people that swear that once it clicks, it clicks, I tried for it to click so bad. And on top of that, the biggest issue I

have with this is this is essentially just another remake of Star Fox 64. Star Fox 64 was already a remake of Star Fox on the Super Nintendo. And it just did nothing better than Star Fox 64. And on top of that Star Fox Assault the GameCube game that was the previous one to this had fully orchestral soundtrack, really tried to present it and have an epic story and amazing linear levels. This game had absolutely none of that stuff.

It was a step back in every single way. I think this game is a travesty and I think that it did more harm than good to a brand that should be so much more important to Nintendo and I hope that they can get it back on track. I hope that this game never comes to switch. I hope that this game

dies. This game is Off. All right, Kendrick. I like hearing him get passionate about something. They're doing his little rat dog bad. Wow, beautiful. That's great. That's amazing.

Plus, what's an awful video game? Yes, this is one that I struggle a little bit with. Just because, like, it's hard for you to recount what two out of ten games that I've played in my life. But I have ones here written down more so for the posturing of what I think a two out of ten is versus a one out of ten. the games I have written down here are Duke Nukem Forever and also Gollum. I have Golan written down here as well.

I'm saying this is somebody who's only heard Roger talk about Gollum. I'm not played Gollum, but I think it'll make more sense once to get into the one out of ten of why I put this at two and not necessarily a one. Duke Nukem Forever I can speak a little bit more on because I did play a bit of Duke Newcomb Forever. I think fucking sucks, man. The game's bad. The fucking shooting doesn't feel good.

The fucking riding is terrible. You start off that game by going into a toilet picking up a piece of That's the recent one, right? Well, the most recent one. Yeah, yeah, that was crazy. That was crazy. That was crazy. We brought that back.

The fact that, I guess I don't know what I expected, because I wasn't like a round around when Duke Nukum was like first becoming a thing. But I think I had an idea of like, well, it's a first-per-shooter. Like, it's a way to make that fun. Like, I had an idea of who Duke Nukin character was when I played this game. Can we show this? And like, I think for me, I remember, I remember, because I think they had a demo. I remember downloading the demo

of Duke Nukin Forever. At the very least expecting like a competent first person shooter. And I played it and I was just like, this is fucking terrible. Like this is like really, really bad. So yeah, I was a two out of ten. That was when I lived. Yeah. Like at IGN where it was just like, why does anyone

care about this? Like why is this a big deal? And it was such a big deal. Like remember it had been in development for 10 years and then Randy Pitchford like saved it or whatever. And then they and then I remember doing demos. I'm like, this sucks. Like, why did anyone want this? Moment in time, man.

Mike, what's an awful video game? Awful, two out of ten for me is Skull Island, Rise of Kong. Me and Roger played this on a stream right before the holidays, and it is as bad as everyone talked about it to be, right? There is something going on from the gameplay itself, never felt fluid or fun. The monsters that you fought were insane to just, man, why am I just mindlessly murdering these velociraptors?

You know, we talk about the Redan fight in Eldering. A lot of people talking about visual clutter. That's how I felt when we played Kong, or rise of Kong, whatever. It's like, you couldn't tell where we were supposed to go. There was no idea of like, what is, am I supposed to jump on this piece of the object? Am I supposed to run this way?

Just getting lost all the time in Kong. This was an awful video game. It earned to play. Yeah, this looks crazy. Why is the screen shaking so much when you're just moving regularly? It's get a headache. Greg, what's an awful 2 out of 10 video game? I put Martha's Dead on here.

As you know, I love horror video games, and I play a lot of horror games, and I feel the horror video game scale is a different spectrum than our usual scale, because it's hard to pull off horror quite a bit, and you like some of the cheesy bullshit. Martha's Dead was just so fucking boring and so stupid and so out of the blue of why am I cutting this fetus out of a dead woman? Like, you know what I mean? Like, it was just a nonsense game that I don't know why so many people do like. I know the Steam version was different

the PlayStation version. I played the PlayStation version. But it was like not scary. It was convoluted. I remember the voice acting I didn't vibe with either. It's been a while too, but I remember how much I did not like this game and talked about it on kind of funny how much I did not like it. And stand by that. It's just like so many better

horror games to play out there than this one that was trying to do something that just didn't land it. Andy's 2 out of 10 awful game was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the NES. And I got to say this offends me. This offends me. Bad call. Yeah, I don't, I mean, the thing is, though, I don't know what I would get. I mean, probably like a five.

I don't know that I can say it's a mediocre game. It's definitely below that, but I love the hell out of it. But yeah, there's awful might be, I don't know why it hurts me, Andy, but it does. But that's what opinions are. Let's beat him over it. No. No, no, that's, that is more a 2D platformer. Cabobbs writes in and says, in my opinion, Mario Maker 1 is the Gamepad Just a Fire game.

I would argue against that. That was the best use case of it, but they could have done that on the DS. Like, I feel like that wasn't adding something that you had to do with the interacting between the TV and the game pad in a way that, like, really was pushing things forward.

But then Orell Sanchez says, I was gifted Duke Nukem for Christmas. I hated it, and I tried trading into GameStop, and even they didn't want it because it was not worth anything for resale. Wow. Um, here we are, everybody.

Number one. Number one. Ghalum on the scale. The kind of funny scale. Below bad. Below awful. I got to start. My shout out.

And I feel like a shout out for it's appropriate. Hey, you, Pikachu. Wow. This game sucks. A one out of ten? Hey, you Pikachu is a one out of ten. For the reasons grade was saying earlier, he's giving you praise for the opposite of this. The game just simply didn't work.

The entire point of this game is you have a microphone, you put on your N64 controller, and you talk to Pikachu and that he does things. So cool. But he didn't do the things you told him to do. In fact, he did nothing. And even when he did, the things he were doing were not interesting whatsoever. This game sucks.

And when you add the extra pricing to it and all that stuff, no, no, no. This is Ghalm levels of bad. But some more modern stuff. Ball and Wonder World truly is a Gallum out of ten. It is absolute insanity. that anything I could have said earlier about Sonic Adventure 2 being a five to me, that Ballin Wonderworld from, you know, similar creators there, all the worst ideas just on display, no cohesion at all for what this game was.

The amount of gameplay variety is just insane that there could be hundreds of different gimmicks of platforming styles and not a single one of them fun. I cannot believe the time I spent with this game of the insane things that would happen. of it just bursting into a musical out of nowhere. And it's just being so fun to laugh at. Like this is one of those games that to some extent is so bad. It's good. But only with that context, this is a truly, truly beyond awful video game.

The humans have some of the worst art style I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, like I just don't like how they look. And even how they move, how they move, Jesus Christ. But yeah, like, it's funny because you mentioned like the burst in the musical thing. For me, that was the selling point. Like when this game was first revealed, the idea of like a musical video game, I was like, listen, I've been waiting for this. All right. Like, I love musicals.

I love video games. I'm down for them for them to combine. It's from the, you know, guy who helped create Sonic the Hedgehog and then went to jail for tech stuff. Yeah, like I had some level of expectation when they first announced it. And it was that first demo that had to be like, oh, no, man. No, like here we go. Here we go. Bless, though.

What would you put down as a one out of ten? Yeah, so like this kind of goes back to when we were talking about, like, in the last episode, talking about like 10 out of 10 versus 9 out of 10 and kind of what that means to us. And for me, when I think of like a 1 out of 10, I do think about it in the opposite of a spectrum of a 10 out of 10 where like when I talk about 10 out of 10, for me it's like, oh, this is a defining video game. Like this is a game that, you know, was like innovated for its time. This is a game that other games look to for inspiration.

This is a game that really pushed things forward. For me, a one out of ten is a defining video game to the opposite extent of like this was detrimental to the industry. And so like, that's why I put Golem at a two out of ten as opposed to a one out of ten and why I put something like ET as a as a one out of ten. Because the fact that we have stories attached to that as far as like we have, there are like, you know, there are copies of those games that are fucking underground right now in a plot somewhere, right? Like Superman 64 I have is that as well, right? of like this is a game we consider one of the worst of all time and also have the date before written here as well too which is a recent one of a game that came out and was a pure scam right like that game was an online game that lasted for like a week before they had to take it

down and shut everything every single thing down like these are games that are historically bad on a level where it is this is the worst we have to offer and i think golem works well enough as a video game again listening to roger talk about it right it's broken in so many ways but at the very least they didn't fucking tank things for everybody. E.T. is a thing that like, you know, we might have not come back. There's another timeline where E.T. fucking shut everything down, right? Like Superman 64, we've not gotten Superman games since. We might have, but like they've not been good.

We have. We have. We've not got up apocalypse wasn't bad. But was it good? I mean, on our scale for what I remember Superman's shadow apocalypse, PS2 being I would have probably put it at six. Yeah. Okay.

What would you put Superman 64, Greg? I mean, yeah, that's going to be, that's going to be number one. Yeah, that's a Gallum. Yeah, it's a Gallum game, right? I've never beaten Superman 64, right? That's wild. Yeah, I rammed my head against the wall a long time fighting folks and Matalo and whatever and that.

And I was just like, I can't do this anymore. I got to stop. And I remember going to school and my, I think it was a, yeah, like somebody's brother actually did beat the entire thing. I'm like, what the fuck's wrong with you? You know, they were asking me questions about a fight. I'm like, I never even got there. Like, why would I do that?

But that was always, you know, my. E.B. story of going there in my Superman shirt and getting this after on my pre-order and being so stoked and getting home and like blowing off a neighborhood barbecue and like taking like two full days of playing to be like this game's dog shit. Holy fuck. And then of course that's me the worst game of all time. For me it's like I put it there because I this is one of those ones I think would be on the Mount Rushmore when you talk about like bad games. Right? The way that you talk about the tears of the kingdom and being like the fucking masterpiece is like come on man.

Superman 64 is up there, but for a completely different reason. Andy didn't have one here. Mike also didn't have one here. I'm like Andy. Like I said at the top of the show, I struggled from five to one to really start identifying games. And, you know, maybe there's one out there that someone will jog my memory on, right? I think I tend to try to block out the bad or we move on so fast from a lot of these bad games that I don't remember them as well.

But I'm going to simply put it as this. I'm on the search for my one out of ten gollum. And one day maybe I'll find it. You want to play golf? I love you, Mike. Maybe that one. That's amazing. CJ splits on says red steel for the Wii is a one out of ten.

I don't know about that. That's wild. That's wild. I feel like that game is like four to six, depending on who you are. One out of ten, I wonder, explain more. How did that hurt you? But Greg, what's your one out of ten? My official one out of ten gollum pick is, of course, Z.J.

The Ball. ZJ the ball is the breaking point where Blessing and Janet said I have to stop doing this and I have to stop playing for trophies. Actually, can you do the first link? Oh, nice. Do the first link for me, Kevin.

The first link in the document is ZJ the ball. It's highlighted is the gameplay of ZJ the ball. I'll get to this in a second. ZJ the ball, of course, is just a garbage game. Now, before you shit too hard on ZJ the ball, I am of the belief that ZJ. the ball was someone's project that they made a game

called ZJ the ball where you bounce up and down, you collect coins and you move through these things and whatever, right? And then what I think happened is that there is a group of people called breakthrough games that got the rights to this

or made it themselves and maybe I'm completely misrepresenting them, but got this game and decided that they could break it up level by level and sell them for 99 cents and put a platinum trophy on each one of them. And Tim, it gets worse. Then do challenges of the same levels again

and publish those for 99 cents and have them all be easy platinums that you could get in some obscene amount of time. Wow. Kevin is now showing you the PlayStation Store where if you search for breakthrough games, you find 128 different games that they've published for 99 cents that are all easy platinums.

Page 1 now has one on their, I've never heard of. Our Church in Halloween. And Our Church in Halloween is the thumbnail. And I must be on page two. Sorry, Kev. But it says, Welcome to Aaron's story in the world of our church in Halloween.

And it's a visual novel that I looked up while we were talking here. And you can go through in two minutes and get the platinum money. It's a visual novel. Just hit the button and it goes, right? The thing about breakthrough that I find especially weird is that if you stop here, Kevin, and if you look at the breakthrough gaming logo that says, arcade on so many of these things. You'll notice the cross.

That is the cross Jesus was crucified on. Oh. Breakthrough gaming sells all of their games as religious games. If you went back and looked at the ZJ the ball footage, you would see, of course, the Jesus fish on the coin ZJ is

collecting. And what this means narratively is that at the end of every level in ZJ the ball, somebody pops up a turtle or whatever and basically is like, oh, on your way to church, Zijai. I sure am. Jesus is great.

And that's it, boom. That's the religious message of the game they're doing. I'm totally paraphrasing, but it's like that level of it's not like you're learning a biblical lesson here. It's just that, hey, this is this and we're Jesus and ball. And so there's so much weird shit going on with breakthrough gaming that like I love the idea of it just being a money making scheme. Here we go. Here's Axel with the cross on his head pops up. Let it play.

If they don't get it. Here we go. I thought there was more to talk about from Axel. That's it. That's the Jesus in integration or whatever. And so like this is what they do and the games are terrible. Like you know what I mean? Like you're seeing it.

And again, if this was somebody's, that's how fast they skipped through the dialogue, Kevin. You can't even see what fucking what is. What does DJ say about Jesus when he gets there? In the word. You know what I mean? The gospel. I saw one of the games there from Breakthrough Games is, uh, ZJ the ball, what's the difference?

So is it really one of those things? where you just spot the difference. Wow. Yeah, this is bad. Yeah, it's NCO. It's you again. Robot, yep, we meet again. And I have another game and then they give you a game. He's got a cross on his head. So that's what they're doing.

That's what they're doing, everyone. We got to call these people. Like, what a fun, wild topic to talk about, right? Like, how much money did they make? Who thought of this idea? Oh, this is still going on. How was PlayStation letting this go down? And man, there's a market for this.

Like, that's crazy shit. Well, I mean, yeah, trust me. The market's here. The market's sitting at the table. I want you fucking guys in that. I wish I had a chip. You know what I mean? I've been 24 months sober because I'll tell you, motherfuckers, I think about it.

I fucking think about it every time I see it. But again, if Greg and Mike were combined as a person, like, we'd be so screwed. So again, breakthrough gaming, right? The other scammie, really weird thing about all of this is that they publish these games on Sunday. Like, on purpose, on the Lord's Day. The official description of the Aaron, whatever one is, the game's release is part of Breakthrough Gaming's Bible video games Sundays. Purchase and play our new Christian-themed video games

releasing every Sunday morning in the PlayStation store today about Breakthrough Gaming. Breakthrough gaming curates Christian-themed entertainment products such as video games, animation, comics, and books. It's like, what are you fucking talking about? You know what I mean? Like, all these games are like, is DJ the Ball is like, they're dude, and it's like, don't get to start it.

And this is still going. Remember when PlayStation's like, all we're cleaning it up? And they are still publishing these things. Wow. Wow. They don't steam as well. Somebody's got a column. Someone's got a column.

Someone's got a column. If anyone out there has their number, please let us know. But yeah, there you go. Z.J. the ball, a one out of ten from Greg Miller. I feel like I should try this errand story, though. No, I don't know, Greg. I love Halloween. Our church in Halloween.

What's happening? Teddy, this says one out of ten, God of War betrayal for flip phones in 2007. Yeah, there are most of those flip phone games from 2007 that they tried so many, so many times to get right. I would say are probably a three or a war game. The flip phone betrayal. Oh, I had that one, yeah. Yeah, one out of ten. No, I wouldn't say it's a one out of ten.

I would, I'd maybe put it like a four. Oh, okay. Yeah, no, I feel like it was good. Yeah, me. Good as far as me as concerned. So it's a high three? It's a high three. MCAP 33 says we may need a new kind of rating for games that are now just plain

unplayable due their time-bound content or limited modes. mag when it came out it's like a five mag now it's only value is as a coaster zero point five what a wild one what a time to be alive massive action game zj ball zj the ball not on steam it's crazy that like there's a lot of stuff on steam yeah there's so much stuff on steve highlighted and did a great job i wasn't afraid to tell you what's actually out there and they're on xbox or switch either but playstation is the only ones being like all right all right fuck it come in. Well, everybody, thank you for hanging out with us for this awesome episode as we broke down every single number on our kind of funny scale of what games we thought along there. Let us know

in the comments below what you think about our opinions, but also I'd love to see more of yours. And also, if you're watching live right now, we have a very special thing to ask you. We're about to do the Deadpool in review rewatch episode. If you want to do that, you need to be a kind of funny member. You can do that on YouTube or Patreon. If you do either that, you'll be able to watch me, Greg and Nick, Breakdown, Deadpool. live in front of y'all just to be clear is j the ball very much on xbox it's on sale from 499 to 99 cents yeah i'm never mind wow and then after that we will have uh gregg and mike playing a little bit of uh once human is that the name of it yeah once human on launch day uh we're gonna jump right into it

today and tomorrow see what we think of a brand new game coming out there we go everyone uh but until next time i love you all goodbye