Kitbag Conversations - Episode 19: Warren Stoddard

Episode Date: July 25, 2022

This week I am joined with Warren Stoddard, a Syria and Ukrainian veteran and published author. Following his time in college, Warren volunteered to fight with the YPG in Kurdistan after Turkey launched their invasion. While with the YPG he was wounded, returned to the states and recently volunteered to train the Ukrainian military. Additionally, Warren has published two books, A Good Place on the Banks of the Euphrates (a collection of short stories from his time in Syria), and No Birds in Yesterday (a western). We talk about: - Fighting in Syria and interaction with the US military after being wounded - Work in Ukraine  - Time as a writer  - Our current cultural shift - And living life as an RPG

Hello, everyone. Welcome back to the Proton Report podcast. This week, we are joined by Warren Stoddard, a Syria Vets, a Ukraine Vets, and all around really good guys. What's going on, man? How you doing? I'm doing pretty good today. Just hanging out, beautiful weather outside. Nice to be talking to you inside, though, in the A.C.D. Nice. So, yeah, we were just talking before, but you said you're a writer. You went to Syria. You've lived around the country. You went to Ukraine. Been wounded twice now, you said?

Wounded once in Syria, and then injured, running down the street in Ukraine. You know, it's like the same band of brothers. Injured when you fall out of a tree or something. I was just running and stepped in a little crater. That was it. So, that's a complete accident. Yeah. That's funny. So, I guess, the start from the beginning, man, you said you went to Syria. When was that? When did you do there? Went to Syria in 2018. The first time I heard about it was like 2016, right after Levi Shirley

was killed, this guy from Colorado. I was reading his story in Los Angeles Times, I think, and he kind of had the same sort of deal whenever he was going up. He grew up, always wanted to be a Marine, tried to get into the Marines over and over again. They kept turning him down. Hemish, for eyesight, for me, it was a knee injury I had in high school. So, I might have read about that one. But he went to Rojava. I think he was there for 18 months, something like that, maybe less. Then he was killed in Mambish. And whenever I read about that, I was like, oh, holy shit, people are just going to Syria and joining this group called

the YPG. And I was in college at the time, and I was like, I've already dropped out once, probably best to not do it again. Then I graduated two years later, and right before I graduated Turkey, and that was kind of the, all the camels back, so to speak. After that, I was just pissed off and angry. And then there's also the ISIS front of the war. And we did the whole joining process. We were over there in 2018, in June. And I spent a lot of time sitting around smoking cigarettes, drinking chai. Rojava boys will know what I'm talking about. Not doing a whole lot. And then we wound up finally going to the front in the Deir ez-Zor campaign. And I was on the front line whenever we pushed from the last, I was

very deposit down in a city called Asifah, which is about less than 20 kilometers north of Babu's. There was a firefight there. And then I got shot by a disco, came through the wall. And How did you walk that one? The disco, man. Well, I didn't even know, like, we were in the middle of this firefight. And I was kind of acting as a marksman at the time. And I had my little post set up and fired two shots. And then Dushka guy, I'm assuming, definitely saw muzzle flash or dust kicked up or whatever. And

just popped me straight through the wall. Then I turned around and I was on the roof, these two arrows. And they had just fucking left. Like they had just gotten up in the middle of this firefight and got not, not for me, not today. And just ran off the roof. So when I got hit, I just sounds about right. Yeah. Yeah, they're, they're something else. But I thought a fucking rocket hit me or something or either we were getting the shit hammered out of us with mortars. Because the marine motor crews in Hajin were firing on the front line and ISIS was firing their mortars. And we were on the very front house. So we were taking all the marine mortars that

were landing short. And then all the ISIS mortars, there was just a lot of ship blown up. And I thought I got hit with a mortar or rock or something that got up and my friend into the stairwell. And I was like, the one guy who spoke Kurdish was like, you okay? You okay? And I was like, Oh, yeah, fine. And I walked a little further. And I was like, man, this is like, kind of like it did like, I kept patting myself down and patting myself down. Like third time I checked. Finally, like pulled my hand off of basically my ass leg area, and covered in blood. And then I had another hole in my shoe and my boot was pulling with blood. The hole in my uniform, where the piece that just got hit me in the armpit. And then I had like two scratches on my face. And

through the tank and on this, the one of the Arab guys who had left me on the roof, the machine gunner like ripped his white t-shirt sleeve off. And it was like this dirty, grimy, crusty little piece of fabric. And he, you know, puts it on the word and like tries to bandage it. And I'm looking at him the whole time, like, you know, my heart's going out to him because he's trying real hard to help me feel better. And this thing just like is dirty as shit and just like falls off the moment he thinks it's done. And I was like, just grabbed my war belt with my iPad, put it on, bandaged myself up and then they, that same guy actually, whenever the Humvee got there, carried me through like 150 meters of just like heavy mortar fire with all the shrapnel and shit

whistling around this. I don't know what his name was, but you know, if he's listening, call me. I'd love to catch up. Do you have a like, right after you're like, wow, you know, it felt like I got hit by a rock or something. Did you do that full forest gump? Like felt like something bit me. Yeah, more or less. I got, I didn't think I got shot. I always figured getting shot was like painful, you know? And it was just kind of like, it just felt like a dead is a closest thing I can approximate it to like a three hours later after I was in the U.S. hospital that was never it started to, you know, feel like I got shot. So how did it work? Did you just get up and say like, Hey, I got to go home and then just went

right back to the U.S. or hang out for a little bit? Yeah, it was actually kind of a weird situation. So like, I get to the hospital and I'm walking up and like I'm limping, but I'm like, I'm not having to carry me in this room. And this guy goes, Whoa, we got to walk in. And I was like, yeah, man, guess so. And that's kind of the baseline from which I interacted with all of the Americans after that, because I was in there and then they hit me with ketamine, which I've never done ketamine before. So medical was the only time I'd ever experience it. And I was like, on a whole another level of high, and they're just like turning me around. And it's like my brain is on the stretcher next to me while they're turning me around. Like I can faintly hear

this dude screaming in the other corner, who's missing a leg. And like, I'm hearing him scream, but it's like, I don't know, it was an out of body experience. And in the middle of me being just ripping on this ketamine high. That same medic is like, looks over the top of me and he waves at me and he's like, Hi. And he says my Kurdish name. And he's like, Now, you got two options, either you can decide to go back with the SDF and do whatever their medical process entails, or because you're an American citizen, you can come back through US mains and I'm just looking at it with huge bug eyes. He's like, Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'm like, I'm fucking stoned. And I'm like, man, you picked a bad fucking time to ask that. And he's like, he's like, Yeah, yeah.

He probably right. I'm sorry about that. But we kind of got to know. You're like, Hey, I know you might, you know, you got like this life threatening injury, but I know you're absolutely blitz, but gotta ask you this really critical question. Yeah. And I was like, Holy fucking shit. And these guys are speaking English and the other internationals that I've been with weren't there that day they had to go back and get water from their ear. So I had like been able to talk to this one dude who sort of spoke to him on G and then me who sort of spoke to him on G. And so it was just so rad to be able to finally hear English being spoken. And I was like, you know, I talked to this one kid.

And he was like, you know, because this was after Erdogan, Turkey was threatened to evade again. And it was like, you know, you might not be able to make it back. Fuck. And I'm still high on me. And I was like, you know what, probably best I go back to the U.S. And, you know, the front lines, you know, the YPG came down, you know, Chia and like was like real concerned. It was like, are they like oppressing you or they trying to force you anything? And I was like, and they have these Americans standing next to me who are like trying to translate for me. I was like, I don't need you. Can you go away? Just please leave me alone. And I was like, no, no, no. But then like, I spent, I think five days on

the American side of the hospital. And they kept saying, Oh, you're going to be on a helicopter bag that denied. Oh, you can be a helicopter to build a night. And the story just kept shifting and shifting from what it was going to be. Like they said, they give me a free flight back. And then I talked with the consulate in her bill. And I was basically asking her how the process would go down. And I had been told I was going to be on a free flight back. I was going to basically take an O and charge you, you know, make you pay out of pocket to go right back. Well, that's what you think. You know, I was like, they offered me this as a quote unquote American citizen. And I was talking to her and she was like, Okay, so now what we're going to do

is you're going to find her bill and we're going to give you some medical care. And from there, once we realize that you're doing good, then we're going to take you to the Iraqi authorities. And then you're probably going to have to spend some time in prison. And I was like, hold the fucking phone. What are you talking about, ladies? She's like, well, you know, you've overstayed your visa by like, post eight months now. And I was like, I mean, yeah, but you're the American, like, can you not do anything? And she's like, well, no, you'd have to spend some time in that jail. And I was like, like with all the ISIS, dude, she goes, Oh, no, this is just like a low level criminal jail. And I was like, no, it's not like, there's no fucking low level

criminal jail in her bill where they put all the terrorists, you know, like I had friends get arrested on the way back to Iraq, I knew what I was going into. And then she started telling me I was going to have to pay my fine to Iraq. And if you ever say your visa in Iraq, I think it's $19 a day. And so added all that up real quick in my head. And it came out to like $5,000 or something ridiculous on top of then after I got out of prison, I would have to pay for my own hotel. I was gonna have to pay for my own plane flight home. And I was like, none of this is the way you guys are talking to me. I was like, what happened to all this free stuff? And she's like, Oh, the US government doesn't do that, sir. And yeah, I'm going to take my chances with STF later.

And then like the Americans who like the whole time I just had super standoffish, like that was the time where they were like clipped and it's turned into assholes. And they were like, we got to see if you're allowed to leave, we got to talk to Jack. And then they were like, Oh, we got to, I don't even know if the FCS is going to take you back. And I was like, dude, I literally just like came here and joined for free. I'm pretty sure they owe me one. And he's like, Oh, I don't know about that. And they like cordoned me off in this room. And he's like, are you on the base Wi-Fi? And I was like, of course not, man, I'm just on my phone playing Pokemon. Man, I was on that Wi-Fi. So I was fucking downloading movies. I was,

I was running the Wi-Fi build up. And then he like comes back into my room, I'll somber. He's like, you know, if he was up to me, I just put you at the front gate and give you some food and send you on your way. And I was like, well, fuck you too. And so this is like just soldiers from Marines or this was like a coalition. This is an army captain. Like, there was another time on that army side of the base where like this sergeant with this like crazy beard was like yelling at me for being out of the hospital room after the doctor told me to walk around. And he's like, you can't be here. And I was like, why? And like, as soon as I asked, you know, I've been to the YPG. So like our rank structure was so different. Like everybody's the same

rank on an even level. As people, as soon as I asked him why, like he lost his shit. And it was like, this is my fucking talk. And I was like, calm down, fucking pop it. And it was like, finally thought of the perfect thing to say at the right time. And like the Americans would like that. And then I went back over, like they were paying for their own food. And like, the nice doctors would buy me pop parts in the morning to eat and lunch and dinner, like they're paying for me to eat out of pocket. And I was like, this is insane. Because then I go over to the YPG side of Green Village, and they're bringing like fresh fruit, fucking homemade, like good Curtis food, not the American shitty pasta that they're eating on base.

Like, and of course, all of it's free. And they're just like, hand me cigarettes and chai, like, you know, we're one or not. That was the first time where I was like, oh, holy shit, like, I'm not an American. So there's Americans. So yeah, that's pretty much the experience I've gotten from everyone who I've talked to who went to Syria or Iraq, they go, yes, as soon as you go, or you're immediately ostracized and you're put on a list and the Americans are just gonna be a piece of shit to you. Because like, hey, one team one fight, but honestly, you're not wearing the same uniform. So yeah, right. I mean, like one dude came in and he asked me my name and I told him my Curtis name a year and he was like, no, no, no, like, what's your real name? I don't want to

know your terrorist name. And I was like, what the fuck? You know, like, you guys are sitting here in your AC on fucking time. I just got shot on this front line that you apparently think you're at. And there's fucking insane attitude with not all the Americans are into there, but with like, macho, you know, who are army soldiers that were on that talk. So what did you do from there? How'd you get back to the States? Oh, well, that head general guy of the SDF, like, lived in that same apartment complex. And, you know, he kept saying tomorrow, like, in Curtis, tomorrow is Sibae. And so like, the whole time we were there, like, we would always get told like, Sibae, Sibae, like tomorrow, tomorrow,

for anything that we were asking about. And I kept saying tomorrow, tomorrow, and the guys that were saying with like, tomorrow, tomorrow, and then I didn't see him for a few days. One afternoon, I just was like, fuck this. And I got all my crutches and like, wandered around Green Village until I found it. And he was having like a barbecue. And he's like, whoa, what are you still doing here? And I was like, I don't know, man. And he's like, all right, you for sure leave tomorrow. And then he turns and he's talking to somebody, you know, stops that conversation and then sentence and turns back and he's like, no, you leave in five minutes, we'll get you things. And then he like had his aid,

hopped in his Hilux and fucking drive me at like 160 mile an hour on dirt roads, not 160 mile an hour, 106 kilometers an hour on like dirt roads, just bouncing around in the back of this pickup truck and smoking cigarettes and got me back to the north end of the country in record time. Basically, you go out the same way you came in after that, which is like, two or three weeks later, I went back across the border in Iraq and then we went home for free. That's the end of that one. Oh, very nice. They're like, yeah, we got you. Thanks. Thanks for taking one. Yeah, more or less. So what's the process like when he got back to the US, what you like you just landed at the airport and they're like, where were you?

Come here. Yeah, more or less. I mean, they are fucking, there's another good story. So I was on the plane, right? And sitting next to this dude who's in his 40s, whatever, and he's wearing like a pull up my type fighters uniform that you would see in like, you know, an MMA tournament. And he's drinking and I'm drinking the drinks are free and my fucking leg hurts. And I'm just like in awe of all like, you know, the women, there's women with like makeup on. And like, I'm just sitting there having a good time and we start talking and he like gets into talking about how he was in Somalia. He was a door gun record door gun Somalia, whatever, whatever he was. And he was telling me stories and like, he's getting drink after drink and he's still talking

and he's like talking about how like they had to shoot at kids who were hiding in the corners. And he's like crying. And I'm like, and I'm not telling him really what I did. But like, in the course of him talking and then all of my non answers, he kind of starts to get a good idea. He's like, you know, talking about all these metals and things that he threw away and he got addicted to dope and he's like going home with way harder than everything else sitting there and he's like, now he's trying to figure out what I'm doing after he's spent like two hours talking. And like, he's like, Oh, by the way, what do you do? Yeah, and he like, does I have this like, Vietnam era coat on?

Yeah, Travis Pickle. Yeah, I look like I just came back from the fucking front. Like I look like Lieutenant Dan, basically. And he's like, what are you doing? And I'm like telling him and like, as I'm trying to not tell him, like, I can see him or go, Oh, this one, I know exactly where this motherfucker's getting. He's just not going to tell me and then he falls asleep. And I then take it like you'd take a nap and then I wake up and see America and we land. Everybody's getting up off the planes and like, it was like, there's from Doha to Dallas, so I think it was close to 16 hours. Yeah, so everybody is just like dying off his plane. They're all getting up and getting their bags out and then over the intercom,

the flight attendant comes on and it's like, can I have your attention, passengers? Sorry for the inconvenience, but there's somebody we need to remove from the plane. And that dude, here's that. You stand up and bow. Oh, he, he reaches across the seat in between us and slaps me in the chest. He's like, they're coming to get your ass. And they did. And uh, yeah. So then I spent like three hours getting questioned and they actually, I missed my connecting flight and they paid for a new flight out of their pockets. They were, they were real apologetic. They plant more than $10,000 on you. They're like, what do you have this? I think I had like 30 bucks. I went to Iraq with, I left Iraq and went to the Syria with $17.

They went out of money until like four months in and then I left Syria with like a hundred. Net positive. So you get back right to the US, do you rehab or anything? Or when do you start getting interested in going to Ukraine? I mean, I didn't really get interested in Ukraine until February 24th. Yeah, basically. I mean, like, uh, Aidan Aslin, like me and him would talk on the internet or whatever. It's like I knew a little bit of what was going on, but I didn't really have much of an interest. It's, you know, you hear all the stories about Azaab. And then like my wife and she background, like I'm pretty actual left and not privately left.

So I don't like the public Nazis. Yeah, more or less. But whenever the invasion happened, I mean, it was like, it was basically like, what happened that happened to me watching it from the U.S. when it's like, holy shit, this is happening in the 21st century, whatever. It's supposed to be peaceful. Like we're just letting this shit happen. It just broke everyone's brain. They went, oh yeah, we can do this. That that's not supposed to happen. Yeah. I mean, I'm obviously kind of experienced in just going to countries and fighting after having been a Syria, getting to Ukraine. It seemed like it was going to be harder, but then actually, it was so simple.

The hardest part I've seen from a lot of guys have gone over is having like a COVID vaccine because you can't go to some airports. They're like, that's the biggest hurdle. I've left at the very beginning of April at the end of March, they ended all that. So it was like, Oh, really? Yeah, I just want to walk on the plane. So how long were you there? I wasn't there for two months. I mean, honestly, I wanted to stay a lot longer and probably we'll go back. But yeah, I mean, like I was with this unit at the beginning, which is just a fucking clown show. And I didn't want to sign a contract with the

Legion or anything like that. Yeah, they floated the, oh yeah, we could have the international volunteers that can come in. It didn't say that it's a three year commitment. Yeah, I mean, like you just can't like you hear all these fucking stories about, Oh, you can leave whenever you want. Oh, you can break the contract. And like, I just do it. And so we were doing training with this group and like, I'm not going to name them, but like on Instagram, and they like portray themselves as super fucking badass. They take their name from the 80s movie. And they like on the internet.

Exactly what you're talking about. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, of course. But I mean, like on the internet, whenever I was on the process, they portrayed it as like this badass shit and then had me there teaching like territorial defense guys. And we were doing fucking nothing. We were sitting in a refugee center. And it was me and then two other YPG that's one of which I was in Syria with and we're sitting there like, man, this is bullshit, you know, because we kept getting told, Oh yeah, you're going to do this. And then, you know, like, I've spent enough time in my life and like thought about things enough to you know, you kind of realize that everything is just fucking made up.

And it was like, why don't we just start our own thing? We basically just split from that group so that we could actually start doing stuff. And then my buddy got on a dating app, bad dude. And then it was like, the Ukrainian girls are so hot. Hell yeah. And like, he's swiping away and matches with this girl on bad dude and then goes to have coffee with it. Long story short, she figures out that he's a, you know, military instructor. And then we fucking wind up meeting with like the common dawn of the Ukrainian Marine Corps, like, this bad dude match who we thought was honeypotting us and was going to like kill us all like we drove in her car and like, we thought we were going to get assassinated. But at that point,

completely worth it. Yeah. Yeah, you just had to laugh along because that's just much ridiculous way you could die ever. But then like, she set us up with all this high level, you know, meeting and everything. It's like, fuck man, motherfucking bad dude. And yeah, we took him from there and kept training Marines, Ukrainian army, special forces, police, worked on a front line for a little bit, but we were not anywhere near like Gombas. So we were mostly just getting shelled really hard and then watching our shells go out. Getting shelled really hard. Consuming region.

We were going to make a live. So like a case on front. Yeah. It was just a different kind of war from what I experienced with, like being a light infantry guy in Syria. And that's what I'm teaching all these Ukrainians, but the front lines are 20 kilometers apart, unless you're in the city. So it's like, what do you do? You just sit there and either you're going to get lucky or not, you know? I mean, that's how you've been, so you just have to start looking at it. So we pretty much like a freelance instructor, would you create something? Yeah, basically, I mean, we created this group called the Dark Angels and we used our instructor, because we're all good at what we do. And we used that as a launch pad to then be able to

work on the actual front instead of just teaching these guys. Because instructing is important than it's, in some cases, arguably more important than actual fighting. But we kind of like the adrenaline. Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah. That's one thing to notice. The biggest issue with the Ukrainian military is just the lack of training across the board. Yeah, it's a lot of from what I've seen, like the Task Force 31 guys or whatever, it's a lot of like GWAT vets from the Brits and Americans or Canadians. We know what we're doing. We know what they need to do. So they go around and they set up a little camp. I mean, we would make this joke, like, because we were training these guys, and like, we're like,

after every unit that we train, they're the only ones in this entire area of operation, the Zero Rifles. So like, we would have to argue with Ukrainian command, like, no, you need to zero your rifle. That's a very, very important part of owning a firearm. What? Yeah. They're like, fucking, like, these guys are the worst shots. And it's just like, I love Ukrainian military guys. They're like, they're so much fun. Like, they're just like, stoked on everything because they've got that high of I'm fighting to defend my country. And but they're fucking just like a second trigger. Just whipping rounds. Yeah, I mean, the fact that they're winning is just mind blowing. Like, I mean, like one time, we're training this 28th mechanized infantry

brigade. And we were doing a defensive, like teaching them defensive turnstacks, like what they should do when people are bounding towards them. And in the middle of fucking training, this guy has a hot mag on him. Besides, he's going to switch from his empty magazine, it was RBK, puts a hot mag in chambers around and then shoots five rounds fully automatic, straight at me from 15 meters. And then you missed. And like, I thought it was firecrackers or something. Yeah, he fucking missed. And, you know, I'm honestly less angry that he shot at me, that he meant to like, we went over breathing fundamentals a day before, you know, like, what was your was your breathing off? Was it your trigger control? Was your sight picture

out of alignment? Like, what was it? You got to teach him to stare at, you know, the reticle and not the target. And you're like, it's just, yeah, crazy things. I was talking to one of the Task Force 31 trainers, and he was telling me that across the board and no bullshit, that every time they did an exercise four or five times, they were going to accidentally, like, blue on blue. It was just more Ukrainians are blasting each other than the Russians are. Yeah, I mean, I've heard a lot of stories from guys who were in Donbass, like, blue on blue casualties are astronomical. Like, Ukrainians are just popping each other in the back because they're just so sure you're happy. They don't like have the mind control to go, okay,

like, know what my target is. Yeah, we're in the same uniform. Yeah. I mean, it's that's the same. All right. I don't know if it speaks to the will of Ukrainians or just how trash the Russian infantry is. Quite both. Yeah, you probably want to like, I've seen a few guys joke that Zelensky said that there was two, they're losing 200 guys a day. And they're like, just 200. That is the blue on blue. They're like, they're like, what's the real numbers, man? It's got to be something more like 500. Yeah, I mean, like, being there, I know that like, Ukrainians, your budget statistics, Russian budget statistics and everything not enough. But

I mean, it's like, you kind of a huge corruption problem before the war. I feel like you have to accept what you're fighting for when you go to a fight for a place like that. Yeah. And obviously, like, in Syria, I had the ideological background that I was super behind, you know, we were fighting a revolution. And now it's in Ukraine with this democracy, state government that is full of flaws, but you just kind of have to accept it. But then you start peeling the layers back and you're like, you start peeling the layers back and just go, oh, yeah, it's a former Soviet mafia state. It's so yeah, it's just everyone's like, yeah, Russians are corrupt. And you can go, all right. So if everyone, Ukrainians grow up,

there's five Russians who are works. So it's just, you just got to accept the fact. Yeah. Yeah, like you want to be on the Ukraine side in every argument, but like sometimes like, ah, I mean, something's not adding up here. And I don't want to be a guy to say it. But yeah. Yeah. And then, you know, two months time that you get vindicated, you're like, no, I was, I was saying this and yeah, yeah, it's insane. It's pretty funny. It's remarkable that they're doing as well as they did, because, you know, US top brass said it was going to take three days for the country to get steamroll. And, you know, say what you will about the American military. I don't have much faith in their like intelligence foresight, but just the whole world went, oh,

shit, Ukraine's still going. Yeah. I think that everybody just kind of overestimated the Russians. It's like you grow up hearing about the Spetsnaz, Boogeyman and, you know, big bad Russia and like, these guys are terrible. Like the 28th mechanized imagery was in Alizantika and eighth company got stormed by two platoon to Spetsnaz on the 23rd day of being surrounded, killed half the Spetsnaz. And then to get out of being surrounded, Kogan and Archilivi strike from Ukrainians on their own position and then ran in a single file line at the Russians to break through and 60% of them died, but they fucking made it out. So like, how do you, how do you see a single file line running actually and only kill 60% of them? That's, that's insane. Yeah. That's

always mind-breaking. Yeah, like that's just seeing out of a, it's a full band of brothers moment. Yeah, that's the level of Russian competency. I mean, they're like, it cannot be that hard. Like they would be shelling us and then the commanders go, oh, they use drones to, you know, zero in on the targets and like, they would hit us with grads and artillery and whatever, and they'd be off by like 300 meters. Like, they're right there. And then they would never walk their fire and they would just hit the same spot again. It's like, I'm not, they're trying to meet a quota or like, those guys are protesting by missing targets because like, they would hit the city of Mickalive all the time and

like, they've got to know where these targets are and then they continually will miss them. But then they hit all these civilian infrastructure all the time. So it's like, are they actually even trying to fight against Ukraine's military or just terrorizing the population? I think the answer is just yes for both of those. Just it's looking at the, when they went to Kiev and they stormed the airport and everyone talked about like, oh, the Russians, they were super incompetent. They absolutely got slaughtered. And I just thought these guys rolled in with six mags plus or minus and imagine taking Atlanta airport. It's, yeah, that's a, that's a bitch and a half. Just think about and you're

only dropping like what 500 guys like, Hey, that's cool. But there's thousands of Ukrainians around. Just you got to take a tram. Yeah, or like something like Dallas or Denver. It's just just looking at airports in the US and going, honestly, that was a pretty big gamble for the Russians. And I was surprised that they did as well as they did. And then they just ran out of ammo and they're like, well, fuck, we got to turn around. I guess we're leaving. And so that's one of those where, you know, you want a route for the Ukrainians, but you go like, well, I mean, you got to see where the Russians are coming from. And it just like in a situation like that, where you drop in your pairs and you're like, all right, we'll be there when we get there.

Yeah. I think it probably goes up to, it's like, we were kind of battling against the old Soviet doctrine, you know, where it's just one guy being a puppet master for just way too many dudes. And I can only imagine that's way worse in the Russian military where they don't have people who are like small unit leadership instructing their new soldiers. And like, that's, I think, probably got to be the biggest problem for Russia. I mean, they have the top down approach. And then, you know, it's just corrupt from the lowest, you know, PFC or Lance Corporal all the way up to, you know, the military district general. Yeah, like there were those fucking stories about them selling fuel on the black market

and like getting rid of it. Like that's got to, to me, that just sounds like it's got to be true. It's got to be. I mean, they just, they got to be shooting themselves in the foot so bad. And just see them not know enough care. Which it's like, it's like, what do you do? Say no. The intelligence chief of the Russians got absolutely dunked on by Putin. He was like, no, you're wrong. You don't know what you're talking about. It's like, after that, no one saw that guy for a little bit. It's like, man, honestly, the funniest thing is there's like the Dolph Lungen idea of this is a Russian and then there's also the Instagram page. We'll get this Russian and you're like, they're walking a fine line between these two of just, just cartoon

characters. Yeah. I mean, our image life. 100%. It's, it's, it's simple. But what's the, what's the future looking like? What you got going on? I'm sitting here waiting for my knee to get better toward my MCL. So it's like no surgery, but I got to wait for it to heal. No insurance. So I can't really tell how well it's going. Can't get an MRI because I got all that juice around in my foot. And I was kind of just playing a waiting game, sitting here writing, we're going to book, we're going to have a few short stories. Yeah. Yeah, go ahead. I'm probably going to wind up going back to Ukraine, but don't know how the situation is going to be when I finally can't get back there.

Yeah. You said before that you wrote two books. What's the Western and the collection of short stories? Yeah, I wrote a Western, which was originally my thesis, the honors college undergrad. It's called no birds in yesterday. I've been out for a little over a year now. It's Western. It's kind of psychological, contemporary motorcycles, choppers, more or less like a modern retailing of Don Quixote, which is obviously just about this guy who loses his mind and thinks that he's an old night, but this is kind of reimagined. This guy lost his mind and considers himself like the next iteration of Billy the Kid and Jesse James. So you made a premise for a book, man?

Well, you know, just channeled full Karmic McCarthy and you're like, I'm just going to read, I'm going to write. I mean, yeah, that's kind of like, I worked on that when I was in college and then after it came out, it sold well enough in the motorcycle scene to where I was able to quit my job and write full time and then I finished another book called A Good Place on the banks of the Freddie's and it's a collection of short stories about my time in Rojava as well as like some journal entries that have a couple of those stories and won awards when this plain lands was listed in Best American Essays. So I love that book, but it's not done as well. But I mean, some of the stories in there I love and then someone will look back and go, yeah,

it's kind of weird. Maybe you create something. You might have something to do with the just like, oh, Western, like that sounds pretty exotic. That was really popular 60 years ago and it seems like those were surgeons, but I think something like a war in Syria. After 20 years of G-wadi, they're like, ah, maybe maybe that's just like public perception. I don't know. It's just, you know, firing from the hip here. But yeah, yeah, maybe. I don't know. It was like, I came back from Syria, so fucked up and then someone's called to shop for years really and just like partied and did a bunch of drugs and partied and go on motorcycle and party. And like working on that book helped me get through a lot of that type of shit.

It's like that guy on that plane said, like coming home is way harder than a war. Man, that's it really just helped you say something to just ground back to reality and, you know, one foot before the other. Yeah. I mean, like creating stuff is just, I feel like humanity is the best way of coping with how the world is built around them and go back to the cake paintings in France and 20 years ago, which is like, it's them trying to understand the world, like it's their understanding of the world on the wall. So you can like build and construct your own world with a painting or writing or music or whatever it might be, like building a classic car

or anything like that. I think it just helps with your psyche and like really kind of instills you as a part of humanity because at the end of the day, the only thing that separates us from chimps is storytelling. It's like the only difference between you and this zoo animals is like making a podcast, you know? Yeah, that's a good way to put it. When you got back to the U.S. from Ukraine, did they do the same thing? Like escort you off the plane or they either like you again, they did not escort me off the plane. So I was kind of disappointed about that. But I was on crutches because I couldn't walk again. And this little lady in her job was like so sweet and so nice. And like, they closed the crippled line because of COVID. So she just stood

with me for an hour in the passport line. And then I get there and they go look at me. They're like, where are you? And I was like, oh, in Ukraine. And they're like, what were you doing there? And I was like, uh, humanitarian work and have a nonprofit. I'm trying to get started over there. It's, you know, opportunity. I mean, that wasn't a lie. I was doing humanitarian work. But she like looked at me and raised her eyebrows and just stamped whatever paper they had and put it in a little box. And then that nice lady who was wheeling me around had to wait for three hours again while I got interrogated by Homeland Security. Then those motherfuckers took my bayonet, my nice trophy bayonet. And I was like, why are you taking that? And he goes, well, you know, it's on the list

of sanctioned companies. I was like, you're telling me that that bayonet is on the list of sanctioned companies. That thing was made before you or I was ever born. Like that money's been made by Ismash, you know? So I'm still kind of not happy about that. Yeah, it's pretty natural. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's probably sitting on somebody's desk. Yeah, it's just sitting in the coffee room at the airport. Oh, man, hold on. I just had something thinking about Ukraine. Oh, do you think it's, I mean, what's your opinion on like these almost free market capitals going into Ukraine going, hey, understand that your city's pretty fucked up. I have five, you know, trucks, I hope you clean it up for this price. And then just the opportunistic individuals going

over there to be entrepreneurs and essentially corner a broken market. Man, I'm a YPG guy who's into the ideology. Like, I fucking hate that shit. Like, that's like, that's capitalism at its worst. And it's like that everywhere you like, everywhere you go, like, we went there and we did everything for free. Like all we ever asked for was food, housing and transportation. That's it. And then equipment. And like, then we're meeting with some people who are trying to sell us tourniquets for $18 a piece, and they have a thousand tourniquets that they will sell. It's like, yeah, I understand you're giving me a real good deal. I wanted to pay $25 this cat tourniquet, but fuck you. You know, we're here on our own dime, like doing this because it's

the right thing to do, not because we're going to get rich off. And I mean, that goes from small, small scale, like tourniquet dealers to those guys are talking about are like, hey, I'll rebuild your city in record time. If you pay me shitload of money, which I know is coming in Western countries. Yeah. And they kind of got no choice but to say yes, because they want their life to go back to normal more than we want our gas pumps to go down. Oh, yeah. It's like nothing stopping a kid from Silicon Valley, flying into Poland, buying a bunch of garbage trucks, moving into, you know, Kiersten or something when that's liberated. And they're like, all right, well, I guess I'm the only one to do the job. Exactly. And I can't fault them because

it's like, if you don't have money, it's just like you can't live like living without money nowadays is almost impossible. Unless you decide you're going to Ukraine and take it from there. But yeah, I mean, shit, it's just like praying on people like there's ways of making money that aren't praying on people. You look at like the housing market right now, same thing. Like in the fifties or never, you know, America's in this golden age, like everybody more or less who had a job could support two or three people with a single income, buy a house before their 30s. And now like companies have just spent so much money lobbying that the laws are in their favor. And then they've used all of that favor to just continually pray on consumers to the point where

we're just victim to their whims, like this inflation shit, like they're just raising prices. That's all that's happening. Nobody's wages are going up at all. They're just raising prices. And saying, oh, it's like, I'm not in the confidence that might be wrong. Somebody could correct me. But when it comes to the housing market, especially in like Virginia, the house that was $235,000 last year is now worth about a million. It's just insane. So Austin was bullshit. Like something like Austin Denver, like those areas are just almost impossible to get housing. Yeah, like it's cheaper to get a house or apartment in downtown Paris than it is to get one in Austin. Like that's insane. That's fucking nuts. And it's like, I spent two months

doing the community of Santiago in Spain last fall. And I was strapped the cash, but we like made it work like we were paying 15 bucks a night to stay in the hostel. Like, you want to stay in any hotel in America? Good luck spending less than 70 bucks off for like a flea bag. Yeah, you could have Virginia Beach on the 4th of July weekend in a shitty Motel 6 full of cockroaches and bugs and not even to clean sheets. It's $375. Yeah, for one night. Like it's happening nuts. Like I don't know how America got to this point where it's just cool with making sure that everybody doesn't get the chance to live their lives beyond the work. Most people don't get to do what you do and make a podcast. Most people

don't get to do what I do and write like they just work and are so fucking tired of the day they watch TV until they fall asleep. And that's their whole existence. But then from there you could just take it a step further and go like, well, then it's like a generational issue because if you guys our age, like they're just burnt out and they're worked to death and then like say our kids or the next generation are going to go, yeah, the bar is pretty low. So I mean, it's not really impressive to stand out just a little bit. Right. Yeah. In terms of like productivity or just being an entrepreneur or anything because it's so difficult. Yeah, that generational divide is nuts because like our parents were able to buy houses by 30, like buy land, fucking live wherever you

save money. What the fuck is a savings account? I mean, yeah, it's like, I don't know, wrong time, one, two, eight, oh well. Or you could just, you know, turn your brain off, grow a good tea, listen to Pearl Jam and drink Bushlight and you're like, this is the rest of my life. This is it. Yeah. And I like Pearl Jam. I do too. Yeah. It's literally classic. The last one is still running around anybody, but oh shit. So when do you think you get back to Ukraine? I know you said like need depending, but it's not even selling a lot. So are you just trying to like clear open your path forward? I mean, mainly like I have all this shit and I move so often. And like the only things that I actually care about are my guns and my motorcycle, you know, so I'm just getting rid of whatever I

don't need and live like this less cluttered existence where I don't have all these materials that I've like been hoarding and collecting. Yeah, this is better. You know, Austin Cole from True Detective. Yeah, just just a mattress in a front room. That's it. Oh yeah. Got some mattress frames you're fucking scam and oh yeah. You go to Middle East like sleeping mattresses on the floor and they're comfortable as hell. Okay. Yeah. You know, here we got this raised bed phenomenon. I'm not about it. It's pretty funny. Just honestly, you don't even need a bed just like lay on the floor. You can test run it once or twice. You know, check it out. You're like, yeah, it's good. I just need a blanket. I mean, after I got back from doing the Camino in Spain

or it's homeless and living at the motorcycle shop on an exercise mat on a sleeping bag with my wife and that's just how we did it. So we couldn't fucking afford a bed let alone an apartment. How'd you get all the way up to like Virginia? Why do you keep moving around so often? Got into a grad program here and I was living in Birmingham, which is like an awesome town with like so many grad dudes and like the best group of friends I've ever had in my life. But it was just kind of, I don't know, it's kind of spelling a dead end is like, I could never really see anything progressing, you know, in my life beyond just living for Friday party and working all week, living for Friday party at the motorcycle, which is fun. You don't get me wrong, I had a fucking

great time, but I got into a grad program here at George Mason, but it is dealing Ukraine kicked off. And I'm like, do I really need to go to school for three more years to have somebody teach me how to write whenever I can just write? Yeah, it's, yeah, when it comes to say like some college degrees like journalism, you're like, what's J.K. Hammerhand say like too cool for J school? Like, yeah, it's like, as long as you know how to intelligently relay a thought and then talk to people, I don't really see the point of getting like a degree in journalism. Yeah, or in my faith thing with like creative writing and people who write books nowadays, it's like, you almost have to have it so that you can quote unquote network and get your name out there or whatever. And like

just you have the letter for like fucking Ernest Hemingway graduated high school and that was it. Yeah, like he just started writing it and became Ernest fucking Hemingway. And so I feel like it's living my life is more important than getting degrees. Yeah, of course. It's, you know, I can use Google better than most people. Like, I didn't have to go to, you know, I didn't have to go to college to sit down and go, yeah, I think I know what's going on in Ukraine. So I don't know that some people, I still get asked, how do I join the YPG? And I'm like, dude, I googled it. Yeah, I thought I googled how I joined the YPG and then yeah, it's, yeah, it's funny. Just go to the wiki page, scroll down to recruitment, click the link.

Look at that nice little envelope here soon. Yeah, people want to handheld, you know, hand the whole, the whole time. Do they nowadays, people don't want adventures anymore. They want to work and come on our TV. It's like, I got so many friends who are like, I wish I could do this and that or the other. And they're like invariably all indoor Skyrim. And I'm like, bro, life is the RPG. Yeah, you know, like you want to go to West Virginia? That is Skyrim. Just go there. Just walk around. If you want to take an arrow to the knee, man, I got you. I got a bow. I got arrows. We can do this. We can get you some interesting shit to talk about.

Did you watch the Shane Gillis new, Shane Gillis set, he's a comedian. But he's talking about like, how crack addicts and heroin addicts get a bad rap because they're always working. They're like, no, they have to stay on the grind that their whole life is like an RPG where they're going. Oh yeah, a quest. I have to go, you know, steal copper. It's so fun. I got to get those wires out of that house. Oh yeah, like I can, they can steal battery out of a car in record time. Just rip it right out. Got to convert. Yeah, that is something crazy. The catalytic converters just going missing. And, you know, sometimes I'll go to like DC and just see entire tires just ripped off of vehicles.

I'm like, Jesus. Fuck man, people are getting desperate. Yeah, yeah. But all right, man, yeah, we're getting to about that time. So if you have anything you'd like to plug, go right ahead. I'm on Instagram at Warrant Starter to buy my books. They're pretty good. I got a lot of cool stories in different literary magazines. You can find links on that on the website. Shout out to JoJo, shout out to Mom, shout out to Noel. Yeah, man. That's basically it. Cool talk to you. Very nice. Yeah, I really appreciate you coming up. Yeah. All right. All right. Thanks, man.

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