Kitbag Conversations - Episode 38: Tales From The Grid Square (again)

Episode Date: March 17, 2024

He's back and we talk ghouls, NPCs, and Ben Shapiro

When dreaming, I've got to tune all the world, time and time again again Earth's sunrise, I thought to stay asleep Cause I don't wanna leave the comfort of this place Cause there's a hunger, a longing to escape From the life I live when I'm awake So let's go there, let's make our escape Come on, let's go there, let us can we stay Can you take me higher

To a place where the lightning will see Can you take me higher To a place where the golden sea I'm just gonna hit record. Alright, well everyone, welcome back. Today we're joined by Tails from the Grid Square. What's up dude? What's going on man, finally. Just taking a minute. For the listeners out there, we were just's going on, man? Finally. It's taking a minute.

For the listeners out there, we were just talking about the finest of Americana food where a Mexican guy makes pizza in a Confederate neighborhood in Virginia. Oh yeah, it's like this. Oh, wait, I forgot. This is an important element to this interview. One second. Oh, there we go. I don't know if your listeners can hear that, but I just cracked a beer. Dude, you cracked me up last time where we finished. You're like, could you tell I was six beers deep? And I was like, no, nice.

Yeah. So for the listeners that are tuning in for this, the last time I was on, I, uh, I started drinking like in the beginning, not like because I was like on the show, but because like, yeah, you know, I'll have a beer. And so like, I kept cracking beers and I kept trying to do it discreetly. Like I would walk away from the mic and I would hold it away from me and I would crack the beer. And I was like, okay, I didn't hear it in my feed my feedback so it must be good and at the very end like I thought I was being slick and then I talked to you and I was like hey did you realize I was six beers in you were like yes I heard

I heard them the entire time I was trying not to laugh I was dead dude I remember I was trying not to laugh. I was dead. Dude, I remember. I remember I was like- I just shit into my fridge. There was no strategy. I was just grabbing a beer. It's like, oh, I'll drink this. Yeah, I'll wander around.

Oh man, I remember I set it up. And then I was like, I'm gonna sit on the couch and took a nap for like six hours or something. Yeah, I was like, ah. Oh man. Well, what's up with you? Oh, you know, yeah, so back, you know, back in the mainland United States for a little

bit for a couple short days before I head back into the tropical yonder, you know, came down here to do some like army training. I wish I could say it was anything cool and awesome like that, but I would be lying. You know, and just, you know, otherwise just trying to stay sane in this little, little hotel that I'm staying in right now. You know, you made me put on pants tonight. So that was a plus. I made you put on pants. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You come in the hotel room and you're just like, I'm by myself. Like, yeah, I don't really need pants. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You come in the hotel room and you're just like, I'm by myself. Like, yeah, I don't really need pants. Dude, nobody cares. Everyone just walks around without shoes and shit. Oh, yeah. This is like what I'm in, like one of those like off the right off the highway hotels. So like, you know, all sorts of fucking vagabonds and weirdos are coming through this place. Like, oh god, I'm pretty sure I came back to my hotel room this afternoon and the hotel staff just randomly installed the fucking shelving in the hotel room. It's like, why did they do this? They didn't need

to do this. Dude, what's up with hotels attracting NPCs? People just talk to you like you're on a side quest. It's bizarre. Dude, yeah, it's like, you know, like the back rooms and shit like that all the kids like nowadays for whatever reason, like that's why I feel like hotels are that I feel like hotels are like the back rooms. Like I'm just like, who are these people?

Dude, I was in Detroit a couple months ago, and I was like, walking the dog and this guy just walks up out of nowhere, almost like an NPC from like Oblivion goes, what's his name? Is his name Jeff? I was like, what? He's like the dog is his name, Jeff. I used to have a Jeff. He's a shit all over the place. And I was like, yeah, it sounds like a Jeff thing. He's like, he's dead now. All right, later. Yeah, it sounds like a Jeff thing. He's like, he's dead now. All right, later. That's like, what? Thank you, sir. Very cool. The genuine NPCs, man. These people aren't real.

These people have the right to vote, by the way. That's the funniest thing. These people have the same voting power as me. Terrifying. Yeah, no, I go to hotels and like, growing up as a kid, like background, right? Moved around the United States like quite a bit. So I stayed in plenty of fair share of hotels and it's always somehow sketchier

than the last hotel. Don't know why like you pass people in the hallway and you're like, are you gay dude? Like are you all there? Is it a vent? Or is this how you usually are? Like, I'm always curious, like, how many serial killers have I come across? Right. All every single one.

Yeah, like just like going to hotels and you pass somebody and like, that guy's got a weird, I'm kind of off. Like, I always wonder, like, damn, does he have a corpse in there somewhere? Like, should I be worried? Dude, it's like, uh, where the chicks are like, I don't know how many rapists I've walked past or walked past along the highway or down a street. You're like, how many people are genuinely dead inside that you see every single day that hang out at hotels? Hotel barflies are the funniest kind of people.

Dude, that's like my one complaint with this hotel is it doesn't have a bar. Like that's what I was kind of looking forward to was like the hotel bar, man, because there's all sorts of just fucking weird people that just show up. And it's just like. I just don't know how to describe it. It's that Americana right there. You can't have this in Hawaii because all the hotels are like ridiculously expensive, but here, oh man, here, talk about some culture.

Dude, every time I'm in like a new city or something, I'm like, yeah, I could go for a beer and I look up and the bar is near me and it comes up with this very nice glamour shot, couple of nice reviews. I walk in, it's a single table. They took a very nice angled photo of like the two bar stools at this hotel and like a single table shoved into a corner and their beer's like $11.

What the fuck? This was in Nashville a couple of years ago. Was this like the world best hit sir bar or something? I was the Nashville Regional Airport Hotel. It was just. That sounds so fucking yeah. I mean, I don't know. Hotels themselves are like such an American thing. I can know there's hospitals and hotels everywhere, but like the budget hotel

culture in America, I think is second to none. Like, I don't know. I don't, I think you'd be hard pressed to find the European mind cannot comprehend the fucking budget hotel. The $67 a night where everything's missing. That could be nailed down. Dude. Yes.

Dude, I stayed in a hotel in a Fayetteville, like, I don't know, six months ago, just outside of Fort Bragg. Dude, they had to buzz me to get in. I tried to have DoorDash delivered and they would, the hotel staff wouldn't let them in unless I picked it up at the front door. The room smelled like melted cardboard, like, you know, just that scent burning cardboard has. Everything was missing.

There wasn't a phone. There wasn't any lotion, of course. And I was like, what is this? What kind of gargoyles like flocked to this hotel? If for the listeners, it was the one next to the Walmart, you might know. Oh, I mean, like, here's one for you. Like, I know we're on this hotel tangent. Let's ramble about hotels for 35 minutes. Yeah, well, I promise this will be my last hotel anecdote, but have we ever heard of hourly hotels? Is this just for gay swingers? I mean, like, yes, kind of. It's, they're sex hotels, right? Of course, I didn't know this at the time when I checked in,

because I was like, oh wow, the rate for this is fucking super cheap. Like pay by the hour, that's weird, but you know, whatever you can check out whenever you want. I was just like, get a thing about it. And I showed this hotel in New York City and it's literally like the size of a room, there's a, it's like a twin, it's like a full size bed,

a fucking bathroom with like a, it's like a twin or a full size bed, a fucking bathroom. It's a twin. It's like a twin or a full size bed, a crappy bathroom. Everything is sticky and you can tell it's sticky from clean air solution and there's a legit condom dispenser in the bathroom. What kind of hotel is this? Come to find out. What kind of fucking hotel is this? Came with the largest bottle of lotion you could find.

Not those tiny little finger sized ones. Oh no, they knew what you were there for. Is this a drum of fucking lube in here? Who's using lard to do their business? Come on. Yeah, so for the listeners, you go to New York City. I don't know if they're still around, but when I was there, this was like 2011 to 2015. Like they have hourly hotels and they're basically like hookup hotels. Like they're like sex hotels. So you go, you do your business and you pay by the hour. So if you want to

like spend the night, you just whatever nightly and it was something like something weird, like 20 bucks an hour, $25 an hour or something like that, you know. That probably leads out to like a clean regular night's room. Yeah, I did the math and like that's why I was like, oh, this is like not bad. It's like it was cheap for the city and I was just like what the fuck what kind of fucking hotel is this like why is everybody like like moving with such like What was the what's the word? I'm looking everybody was like moving like they were under watch. Oh, yeah, you know Probably there they're probably their favorite escorts and prostitutes. Huh? I got told that recently that I walk like I'm being followed.

Is that that? Should you turn around? I am. No, I was with my stepbrother. We were going out for a burger and he's like, you walk like you're being followed. I was like, I don't know if that's a good thing. Like I look... ...and I'm suspicious.

That's when you turn around and be like, that van, tell me that van's been following us. You see it right? The fan, it's been following us for the last three miles. Yeah, that's when I pull the gun out of my pocket. I'm like, why don't you speak in my microphone? Bro, please. No, bro, please. The government's following me, bro. Bro, no, no, bro, please. I promise you the government's real.

Dude, I was at work the other day, this guy was like, yeah, I came up with a genius system on how to condense all of my work for a week into two hours. I'm like, would you bring a gun to work? And he's like, Jesus Christ, no, I made a calendar. I was like, oh, all right, nevermind. First off, man, you get paid hourly.

What do you do when you like, you know, fucking trying to get two hours of work? You gotta think smarter. You gotta dude, we are scumming government contractors. Our whole goal in life is to do nothing and soak up bills. I hate you people. Dude, I took my Lance Corporal Marine Corps mindset and applied it to this this sector and it's worked flawlessly. this sector and it's worked flawlessly. Dude, yeah, I uh, one day maybe one day. If you want to jowl, I'll get you a one.

Don't tempt me. Do not tempt me, bro. I love the army, but you know, sometimes, you know, you go through those days where you're just like, I can't, I can't do this anymore. I get me out of here. I got to get out. You're just staring at the balcony. You're like, I can do it this anymore. Get me out of here. I gotta get out. You're just staring at the balcony. You're like, I can do it. I could leave.

There's no one that can, no one will stop me if I leave, but you don't, you don't leave. Dude. And then when you do, you can't think about going, you just think about going back. Oh man, I went to the,

so I moved my wife here recently and I was looking, I don't know a lot of people in my neighborhood yet. So I was thinking, I was like, man, I don't really want to hire movers or call people and get them out of work. And I was like, wait a minute, I used to be a Marine. I believe they owe me some service. So I went to the Marine Corps recruiter and I walked into this recruiter. I was like, I am not here on personal matters. I'm here personal or not here professionally. I'm here personally. I've already done my time. I need all of the free bodies you have to help me move stuff. And they're like, what? I was like, I used to be a Marine. It's cool. I understand working parties. I'll get him a medal. I'll put them in for volunteering. And he's like, Oh, yeah, sure. Here's one. So shot in the dark. Hail Mary worked. Then I texted this kid day off. I was like, Hey, I'm going to be in the area about five. And he's like, Oh, I got orders to Camp Pendleton. I leave. So it's like, damn, but it worked. So, you know, they can still give back. You can still use them if you want to scratch that itch. Damn. You literally, you literally use, you literally finesse the recruiters within you. Pull leave. They probably just assumed you're just like some NCO in the area just got a beard now i walked in i was like my dog is cool the whole time he's like

do you want to come back in i'm like negative negative i'm done but i will take all of your labor and benefits dude that's fucking funny that's like i'm in awe of, I'm just in awe that you're able to pull that off. I was shocked. I was laughing the whole way. Dude, what's even more bizarre. And so afterwards, I was, I was in shock. I was like, there's no way in hell this fucking worked. And so I went to a Burger King drive-through and number one, I don't know if you noticed the Burger King, Whopper Juniors are now two for $5. Insane. But there was this guy I pull up and he's like, he's giggling through the microphone. And I was like, all right. And he's like, it's going to be $5. And I

was like, fine. And I pull up and there's this kid giddy at the window. He's like, I'm going to be like you one day. And I was like, what? He's like, I'm going to be a Jeep driver. I was like, do you want mine? You can have mine. I was like, I don't want it. He's like, no, I don't have a license. I'm going to get a license soon. And I was like, I don't want it. He's like, no, I don't have a license. I'm gonna get a license soon. And I was like, who are these NPCs? I was like, what is this? The nicest kid, nicest kid. I have nothing against him. He's kind of cool, but I was just shocked.

I was like, what do you mean you're gonna be like me? What have I done? Thank you, Kyle. Very cool. That moment of existential crisis, you're like, oh God, I've done nothing with my life. You don't wanna be like me, but. Listen, kid, stay here.

Don't prosper. Don't ever seek greatness. Stay in your box. Stay in your lane. Survive. Go full Mars, Simpson. Set your expectations low. So low that if you achieve them, you don't even notice.

That's right, homie. All right, but I guess we should talk about something instead of just rambling like two incoherent schizophrenics. We should probably say something that your listeners of Kitbag, formerly known as Crow, rest in peace, would appreciate. Oh shit. Can you tell me about the Watchers of Southern California? That's where they were, right? Cause I looked into it

a little bit, couldn't really find much, and I figured you were an expert. Yeah! Oh, yeah. A lot of people assume I'm an expert, but I really don't know what I'm doing. But actually, I have looked into the Watchers. I honestly have not found much on it, other than what's already out there. People have told me, so like, I honestly have not found much on it other than like what's already out there

People have told me so like for the listeners So Southern California certain parts of California Then like, you know the kind of the more secluded obviously, I mean you'll have watchers in San Diego They're just called crackheads and you'll have watchers in you know, Los Angeles and they just called Armenians It's okay. I can make that joke. I married one. Can you delete that? No. You're Armenian?

No, no. Anyways, so the watchers are basically, I believe it goes back to like Gold Rush period where this is recorded, is the shadowy figures that hang out in the distance or up on cliffs or like in the forest or whatever that just literally as their name implies watch people. Like people you'll walk towards them they walk away they sit out in the distance they're kind of like mysterious I know they've been in a couple like recorded history historical documents and it's just kind of like mysterious. I know they've been in a couple like recorded history, historical documents. And it's just kind of like a really weird thing.

I have talked to people through Tales from the Good Square that have said that they have seen like similar things, now whether that's just, you know, maybe people living off the grid or like true ghosts or spirits or whatever remains to be seen, but it's kind of creepy and there's not a lot on it, believe it or not. I thought it had something to do with when the Spanish first came to that area and the natives were like,

yo, watch out for the Watchers. They're like, bullshit. And then they sort of see them on the rooftops. Yeah, I think it goes back to that too. I recall. It was like a native legend. As the legend of the Watchers goes, it was when the Spaniards and first settlers arrived in California, the natives warned them of like these entities called the Watchers. And then thus people started recording scenes, Watchers. Now maybe they're just, you know, natives themselves watching from afar or whatever. But I mean, there's all sorts of like these weird Americana specific legends. They're not very well known. Um, and it kind of, they kind of remind me of like view of listeners have ever listened to the,

uh, the podcast monsters among us. Um, very good by the way. So there's like this thing, like somebody brought up called the mirrored men that they've seen in like, you know, rural America, whatever it's, you know, three strange little shadowy people things walking in line after another. And they walk like in perfect synchrony, synchronously like, like they're in a mirror, right, like reflections of each other. And when you see them, they'll, they'll suddenly realize you're staring at mirror, right? Like reflections of each other. And when you see them,

they'll suddenly realize you're staring at them, stop and turn at you. And like, you know, they'll turn slowly as if one person, all three of them, and stare at you. And then people like black out and wake up in different parts of the woods or different places or up a tree or down in the valley, down a hole, whatever. You know, and it started off as like one story

and then the dude had like so many phone calls about people seeing like the literal exact same thing all over the United States. And it seems to be like in the South or like, kind of like up in the Midwest, like more secluded parts of the Midwest. Like people are all seeing the same thing, right? And it's like I don't know, it's like,

I feel like one of those American things that, maybe it's somewhere, maybe someone listening to this is from another part of the world and is like, oh yeah, that's exactly like our legend here. But it's like the Watcher and the Mirror and Man are in that same vein of like American legend that I'm always like super fascinated in. So I know that I'm kind of like American legend that I'm always like super fascinated in. So I know that was kind of like not an answer. No, you're fine, man.

Because I looked it up because my wife asked me about it and I was like, I know a little bit and then I just went on to, you know, standard like forums. I was like, dude, there's nothing on these guys. I said like a few, like a handful of like firsthand accounts. But, dude. No, there really isn't. And I even remember as a kid, I grew up in Southern California,

like I said, I've grown up all over. And I remember reading in like ghost books and weird California, like the stories of the Watchers, but like there's really nothing out there on them. And there's supposedly this like there on them. And they're supposedly this endemic folk tale from California. Dude, that's insane. That does bring up a, you kind of touched on it,

American folklore, because if you look at the Europeans, you got all of these crazy different ones. And in America, it's more like we have ghouls and goblins as our folklore, like folk heroes. We have Bigfoot and all that cool stuff and Windigo, but then in Europe you have the Brothers Grimm and you know what I'm trying to say. Yeah, it's like that meme, like you've seen where it's like forest in Europe and it's like all whimsical and magical and like the little gnnomes, the fairies are coming out. It's like soft music.

It's like Forrest in America and it's playing like the Doom theme. There's like Windigo's and Sasquatch's. That's what I feel like America is. Yeah, we don't have like a King Arthur or anything or anything cool. We just have, yeah, there's a possible Sasquatch that has three toes and also has the skin of a lizard who eats chupacabras. You're like, all right, yeah, I'll work with that. Yeah, be careful around him. He has asthma. Dude, I don't know if you listen to Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast, do you? No, I don't. I need to. Dude, there was an old bit from years ago, they were talking about how Chupacabras code for gay Mexican.

They were like, I've never really met one. It must be code. I mean, I mean, I've definitely met one. He's mean. I'm not gay, by the way. But you know, I respect your life voices. Yeah, we need to leave that part out. I don't even want to f*** it. Yeah, but so funny, speaking of Mexican culture, I grew up with, like, they're the boogeyman, right? So, Mexicans have all sorts of superstitions, like La rona and other fucking like the duendes and other little people and it's like i've always liked if hispanics are telling you about this weird shit that's happening like there's probably some fucking weird shit happening because hispanics is in just my opinion are just really supernatural and just more open to that stuff and

say like the anglos of the world um they were Western, Westerners in America. I don't know how to describe it, but you know what I mean. And like I remember growing up being told about the kukui, like a kui or whatever. And it was basically like a Mexican boogeyman, you know, basically things that go bump in the night, the thing that goes bump in the night.

And it was just like, you think it was a joke. And it was my grandma's like, or like my grandma, like my cousins right now, man, it's real. They're like monsters and shit out there. Like got like a la la rona or whatever. And I told you, my grandma's haunted house and like the ghosts and stuff that live there. I like how you just say that cash fool. You're like, oh, they're real. They're in there, by the way. Oh yeah. No, they're real. Like, I mean, the world is a lot. When people are like, why do these things happen in the real world? I don't know. Once you accept that demons

are real and actively influencing events like that, you know, things start to make sense. Dude, I love you so much. I remember it was like probably a year ago when I sent you a Bigfoot meme and you're like, you got to look out for the Bigfoot enthusiast. Those guys are a little tough to deal with, but Windigo's are real by the way. Do not question that. No, it's like, all right. Real. I love the paranormal, but I just love I just dislike how serious it is and like Every motherfucker I swear has like the answers right and that's why I don't know

Why don't I have a tick tock or YouTube like I don't really want to be and that's why kind of like why I don't Show my face to I don't really want to become like a personality sycophant Or I don't want people to become personality sycophants towards me and then like, you know like Or, I'm sorry, I don't want people to become personality sycophas towards me, and then like, you know, like, become an influencer, and I just like, I just like having fun with it, and spreading awareness, and telling people stories, and stuff like that, you know? You're like, dude, I'm just trying to have a Miller Highlight for 30, and just have a good time. Like, dude, like, I don't know, I'm like a fucking 30, 31 year old man, like, I work, I ain't got time for this shit. But I do love having fun.

And I will be goofy and I will be silly. And I will laugh at things and I will make inappropriate jokes. And you'll laugh too. This is a threat. Dude, you slaughtered me with your Creed memes because those seem to be dying off. It's hilarious.

Cause I'll wake up early in the morning and you're like X amount of hours ahead of me and you've spammed like eight stories in a row with, can you take me? Dude, I love Creed. On popular opinion, Creed has always been good. And people that say they're not just are lying to themselves. Dude, I used to have this poster at work that said,

it's Creed Tuesdays, parentheses, it's a real thing. I need this poster. I need this poster. Holy shit. It was Maverick on Top Gun in Top Gun racing the plane and it just said it's Creed Tuesdays. Where did you get this? I need it. Dude it was in the ready room when I was a Marine. This thing is years old. That's incredible. You know, for a fact that Marine made that. Oh yeah, of course. That's like the level of autism that's only achieved by junior enlisted Marines.

Dude, it's perfect. I love the Marine Corps. I love how stupid it is. You're like, all right, yeah, we have 86% of our aircraft are down, but we get the sick ass Tom Cruise poster and we listen to Creed. You're like, all right, yeah, we have 86% of our aircraft are down, but we get the sick ass Tom Cruise poster and we listen to Creed. You're like, all right, yeah, that's good. I just fixed a helicopter. I don't know. It just kind of started working again. Real started to fall down in that it fell down. All right. For the viewers that don't know,

helicopters are nothing more than an example of man's arrogance in the face of nature in where we created a machine for all intents and purposes that does not want to fly yet still does. The first guys who created them just looked at dragonflies and said, we could do that. We can do it. And then probably died. Yeah, many times. You know, if people are curious about why we have so many aviation crashes and stuff

like that, if this is my pure, you know, opinion, it's because helicopters do not, by nature, helicopters do not want to fly, but we make them fly. Like I was like, that's the, uh, the Osprey as far as I know, we'll have to talk to Skid Row about this or something. He, uh, that airplane aircraft platform defies the laws of physics. It's not supposed to fly. Oh, yeah. Like it, and you know, it's just, I don't know, it's just nature of the beast. Like I encourage people to like look into like aviation mechanics and stuff and like all right holy shit like when

i saw like how complicated helicopters are it it blew my mind like you know you have one one tiny little component the size of your thumb fail in this massive machine and the whole thing's coming down is how complex they are just us punching down as hard as humanly possible on nature man you're like you fucking fucking do what I say. Dude, absolutely. Hey, can we pause this real quick? I gotta... You know what? I gotta use the restroom real quick. I don't care. I'm gonna get another coffee.

Okay. Let it run. I want to hear you pissed. No, I'm good. Turn it off. Wish you guys heard that. Nick was just... I would have purged that. Yeah, you know, I let your listeners know that this is what you call scraping the bottom of the barrel by talking to me. No, Doug, you're my here. We were talking about it earlier. Next to my wife, you're my second most talked to person on Instagram. Hell yeah. Yeah, I remember you hit me up. It's probably like six months ago or a year ago, you hit

me up to start a podcast and now we're friends. I'm like, hell yeah. Yeah, dude, yeah, it's kind of wild. Like if Tales of the Good Square has done anything, it's like I've connected more with people in real life on the internet than I do in person. Dude, and Medina has a candy can comprehend this. Bro, the European mind cannot fathom the American autism. Dude, I love, so I don't know, you probably see my Instagram first.

My backyard, I have like a grill and a deck and there was like a dividing fence and the backyard was just like a construction pit. And so I love taking pictures of the sunset with a burger like the European mind can't even fathom. Dude yeah you know like you know you're kind of like you know America could be improved somewhat and then adulthood you're like fuck Europe shut the fuck up North you shut the fuck up you freak. Oh- oh you're Dutch? You Yakuubian swine, get over here so I can measure your skull for science. Dude, the funniest fucking meme I've ever- it's a fuck- it's a tweet,

where it's like, yo shut up you Yakuubian swine, show me your skull dimension so I can be appropriately racist. I love that. Dude, I love that. See the meta- the meta reference in that. Oh man. You ever watch that video of Black Israelites getting interviewed where they were like, you know, Mozart, they're like, black. They're like, Abraham Lincoln, they're like up for debate. They're like Christopher Columbus. They're like, not black.

I love Black Israelites's realized they're the coolest people on the planet. I looked into like, Yakub and all that. I was like, this is awesome. Dude, so that doesn't answer the question. Where did Mexicans come from then? Like, okay, all right, so they're a side project. The black Israelite lore explains white people and black people, but doesn't explain brown people. Where did brown people come from? Dude, there's this guy that jumped into Discord, I don't know, about six months ago, who was

from like New Mexico and would hang out with black Israelites and lived in Spain. I was like, you're the coolest dude I've ever met. This is so sick. I just was like, why are you guys so angry all the time? Like I just asked a question. Dude, I don't know. You're hanging out in DC all the time. The town I live in in Hawaii, there used to be some black Israelites that posted up like randomly out of nowhere. Like never, never been in, I've never seen them in Hawaii since ever. And like they were there for like two weeks before like some of the homeless people just enrolled them.

And I haven't seen them since. I have no idea where they went. Dude, who would win in an argument, a Mormon or a black Israelite? Because the Mormon lore is so funny about where the Native Americans come from. Okay. Nah, got it. Three-way battle between a Mormon, a Black Israelite, and Ben Shapiro, who wins. I can just hear his little nasally voice. Now, let's just say, hypothetically, of course, I being of God's chosen people.

Oh my God. It's just getting bored at work and reading about Mormon lore is some of the funniest shit. Cause you're like, you mean they're red because they're demons? All right. And then like, then you talk to Mormons and they're either some of those political, they're

either some of those political extreme racists you've ever met in your life, like religiously motivated like racist people. And then they're also on the flip side, they're some of the sometimes they're just some of the nicest, most down to the earth, salt to the earth people you've ever met. They're cool as long as you're not Jehovah because I don't understand anything about Jehovah Witnesses. What did you witness? Who was Jehovah? All I know is there's like 150,000 people in their religion that are able to get into heaven and they dispute amongst themselves who those people are. It's something like that. It's bizarre. This is not going good at the pearly gates, bro.

Yeah, right? Like why would you even go in this PR campaign of going door to door if there's only 150 seats? Very strange. That's all like some church unitology shit. I did. You ever see that movie the master church of Scientology it's about it's like Philip Seymour Hoffman plays L. Ron Hubbard it's not like L. Ron Hubbard it's not its name but it's pretty much just the founding of Scientology yeah bro uh what's his name Joaquin Phoenix is like a schizophrenic sailor that comes back from World War II and starts hanging out with the Scientologists. Why does he always play like a schizophrenic hero? I just don't get it. He might be himself. He just gets into character. He just walks on the set. God, if Heath Ledger hadn't have died, we could have had an insane Joker crossover event. Spider-Man type movie where all the jokers get in the room. You ever hear that Nick Mullen bit about the Joker?

No. So there's, you know, there's the Dark Knight shooter who dressed up very similar to like Heath Ledger's Joker, right? Yeah. But what if he dressed up as Jack Nicholson and he's walking around with his machine gun like, sorry folks, show's over. That's so fucked up. Yeah, that's it. Technical foul. Oh, I guess that was a bit much.

Yeah, there's a little too much. Yeah, we're getting canceled this year, bro. This is not going to look good at the pearly gates. Oh, man. My dog jumped out of the cab of a moving truck a couple of weeks ago and just hit the ground like a rock. Like he gauged the distance so poorly. It just. That's that's sounds like my dog.

I have an Australian cattle dog and he's just like he's so fucking stubborn and he was bound and determined to get after this cat in the backyard and like was he he saw the cat from across the house took off across my across the living room in the front room to the backyard and my other dogs on the cat and is barking at it and it stopped in screen door Not this guy. He literally fucking take it runs into the screen door doesn't take a hole, right? He literally takes a whole screen door with him and the poor thing. That's a hero. Oh god He did not get that's a Greek lore hero. That's so good He's more like Don Quixote

Which by the way people fun little trivia about Don Quixote there's an entire Japanese Like supermarket chain called Don Quixote Yeah, is that an Okinawa? Now there is There I think they're mainland Japan and there's also like four on Hawaii, but it's a Japanese supermarket chain and it's called Don Quijote. I don't know why. Dude, they had this one, because I used to live in Japan, they had this one like, the

Americans called it the monkey store. Their logo was like curious George and hard hat. And it was like, if you wanted a car battery, fresh milk and running shoes, they were all in the same aisle. It was the most bizarre location. I swear the Japanese are just, they're just so ahead of the game. We can't, the American mind cannot fathom

the Japanese innovativeness. Dude, I love it. I loved everything about it. I was like, if I ever need a pair of both cutters, yogurt, and a new camera lens, it's all they're all sitting on the same rack next to each other next to the checkout. I'm like, this is perfect. They're so ahead of the game. It's a shame they lost the war. We could have had this efficiency around the world. Oh my gosh. Well, yeah, it's just something about their culture too.

Like, you know, like I ordered something from a Japanese guy, like a little camera on YouTube, not YouTube, eBay. And like he sent me emails to make sure he sent me pictures to make sure I was like, how do you pack the box? No, that was like from this fucking Nigerian dude. I've never find that. Yeah. Yeah. So. I'm ever find that Yeah, yeah, so

I'm sorry Some tales from the grid square lore. I also do photography as a hobby and I I buy everything used when I started a new hobby and everybody they knew to save on costs. And I wanted to get into the hipster TikTok craze of the Fuji X100 series, which for the listeners, if you want a really awesome travel camera that's like super tiny and super powerful, the Fujifilm X100 series is incredible. Love it, right?

So I wanted to model at the time and, you know, found one online for a really good price and went to go pay, purchase it and buy it and come to find out that there's an entire, entire market of people that scam individuals for this fucking camera online. And I got scammed. Joke's on him, I got most of the money back though.

Dude, I'm so sorry. When you told me that I was heartbroken for you. I was like, silence. I was so embarrassed you know that's the best part too when I realized what it was it was awesome it when I realized I got I got scammed was like literally my birthday. Oh my god. Fucking god yeah which you know you know god works in mysterious ways because literally I had given I was like whatever I'm not gonna buy it by that camera There's this awesome photographer. I'm gonna give him a shout out. Thanks Waldo creates At Waldo creates and he was doing a raffle for an older generation one the x100f which is awesome and

He let me know like hey, I'm doing this this draft if you want to get it. And I want it. So he gave me a camera with 100 shots on it. And like super cool dudes. Awesome. He's an awesome photographer. Check him out. The Waldo creates on Instagram. It's a cool dude. Hell yeah. That's so sick. The Lord works in mysterious ways. Yeah, he does. He does. And then the hilarious part is now that same fucking camera, the new one came out and you

know, you know how American by every by the next model culture is. It's like, maybe I should become a scammer now. You could. I might as well. I won't. You know, so actually, the funny part to the second, the last funny part to that story is, so I never deleted the dude's number. I was just like, made it a game. Like every morning I'd get up and I'd be like, Hey bro,

I hope you die. Like, I hope you never die. And you're denied the kingdom of heaven. I would just send him like, obviously he blocked my number, right? you're denied the kingdom of heaven i would just send him like obviously he blocked my number right you were denied the kingdom of heaven yeah i was like dude i i should be able to bring it up hold on let's see if i could find it uh damn where i would just be like bitch where's my fucking money like just like i knew he was never gonna give it back, but it was just like every single time I would just send something. So I guess he... Oh, watch it there for a second. Yeah, yeah, there. Yeah, so I guess he forgot that he had scammed me

and he unblocked me. And so he sent me another message with like, you know, those fake like, hi, this is this isn't a call. I had this number on my phone. And I'm like, Who the fuck is this? And I looked at it. And I noticed it was the chain. And I was like, I was like, Hey, bro. Where the fuck is my money, James? That was his fake name. I was like, hey bro, where the fuck is my money, James? That was his fake name.

I was like, I hope you fucking choke on it, Jesus, did you die? I was like, here's some clips of what I said. I say, may Allah block you from entering the gates of paradise. You're going on my suicide note tonight. And hey bro, I hope you're having a horrible day and you kill yourself.

Dude, my little brother got his Instagram hack. He was like in high school or something. Instagram got hacked, found out that it was like registered in like Nigeria. So he found this Nigerian message. And he's like, hey bitch, stay out of my shit. And he's like, why did you call me bitch? The best part is my brother actually called this dude

and he picked up and my brother was like, my brother pretended to be like immigration services and shit like that and called them. Oh, it felt funny. I got like people to fucking call this dude's number and we just trolled him for like a week. Dude, I had a thought in the shower the other day. Why don't we just round up,

well, that's actually a wrong term. Why don't we hire a bunch of American Indians and have them cold call India? Just give them a taste of their own medicine. Dude that'd be badass. Like and honestly, dude this could be a good idea because like, you might be honest I'm here, because there's those guys that they like hack into those illegal, because you know most of those call centers are illegal in India, right? Like they're banned by the government, it's against the law. Like the government knows. It's just like, it's like almost impossible to like stop it, right?

And so they hack into these dudes like networks and spy on them and call them out and get the addresses and shit and get these people like arrested and shut down. It's not beyond something here. I think it would be sick. Yeah, right. Hit them with an UNO reverse card. The like we did in World War II with the Navajo Code Talkers. Call it universe. I think it would be sick. Yeah, right. Hit them with an universe card. Like we did in World War II at the Navajo Code Talkers, we just applied the same method

to India, right? You ever heard of Romeo Dialing? No. Oh, dude. So this is not a serious episode. So in Romeo Dialing, in India, dating got there in like 2005, you know? So it was arranged marriages forever until like 2005 or six and so these men are just so desperate for women they go into like the phone book and find the first girl and they call they're like hello this is the doctor and your family is dead

and you can have them back if you go on a date with me yeah it's apparent it's apparently like a like an epidemic over there they just keep cold calling every woman. What feeling, never feeling the touch of a woman does to a motherfucker. Babs, Babs, please. But then again, you know, they also have this massive rape culture where, you know, fucking, you know, women have to live in fear their entire life, you know, but I will digress because if I offer my solution to this, people call me insane. Yes, yes. digress because if I offer my solution to this, people call me insane. Yes. Yes.

It's, you saw that, you saw that headline of the, uh, the journalist chick and what like a week and she was just chilled and she went to India horrifically, uh, sexually assaulted. Yeah. Like it's just, it's it's like, Well, this, let's talk about something else. Zin, that's a big kind of product for a lot of Americans. This podcast is brought to you by Zin. Yeah, Zinagog is the TV show I'm making.

Are you a born Zinner as well? Yeah, I've dabbled. Yeah, I'm an occasional zinner as well. You know, I stopped doing it a while because I knew this chick who also zin, but nothing against women zining of course, but she like literally packed five packs at the same time. I was like, I feel like that's a lot of nicotine. I feel like that's a lot of nicotine and I feel like that's a lot of nicotine and I feel like you have some serious issues going on. Are you okay? You have a criminal amount of underlying issues

you're not addressing. Yeah, I feel like we need to talk this out. I'm going to stop doing nicotine right now. It's like drinking too much coffee, the most harmless addiction. You're like, I just got to stop. But then I'll throw this back. We've been making fun of Europeans. The American mind cannot cannot fathom the European dipping culture or snooze culture, if you will. Snooze. Yeah, actually, before I actually was a pretty, I want to say religious, but I was a pretty pretty, I wouldn't say religious, but I was a pretty, like, favored snus snusser, or partaker of snus. Dude, I used to, I'm not hardcore.

I used to work at a cigar shop and every time like these young guys would show up, they're like, what do you recommend I would just give them snuff and like you show this up your nose man. Dude, you're so fucked up. I've done stuff once and I'll never do it again. That shit was wrong. Dude I used to have so much there was this one time there was like I don't I hate to call him like a crackhead but he was like a fucking tweaker. A crackhead? Yeah he's a crackhead. So he's like he's like this he's this black dude out of a skateboard and he just walks in he's like hey man you got cigarettes? He's like no we have cigars. He's like just he's like this, he's this black dude out of a skateboard and he just walks in. He's like, Hey man, you got cigarettes?

It's like, no, we have cigars. He's like, just give you a cigarette. I was like, I don't have any. I was like, there's a gas station across the street and get cigarettes there. He's like, you got any beer? It's like, no, I don't have any beer, man. Sorry. And he was like, all right, I'm going to go to the gas station.

He went across the street, came back with like a 40, drink the whole thing in one pole. And then started doing kick flips in the front room. Like, dude, get the fuck out of here. So we walked to the back where all the dudes were hanging out and started harassing them. So these old dudes were getting pissed off. You know, these guys who were divorced like three times, they don't have time for this.

So they were like, get the fuck out of here. So this guy was like, hey, you, I'm white too. I like to fuck my sister. I was like, what? And he was like, yeah, I can do tricks. I was like, show me a trick outside. And he walked outside and I locked the door. It was almost like a cartoon. He walked out and I closed the door behind him and locked it. And he was like, yeah.

Like, oh yeah. Poor guy was just, man, he was just trying to show off his fucking skateboard moves to you. You ungrateful whine. You ungrateful bitch. I was just impressed he downed a whole 40 and was like, don't go hearing. I was shocked. He, whole thing in one pull. I was like, good Lord.

That's, that's magical. Yeah, even in my, even in my, oh, he's probably dead. I don't know. It was the streets of Jacksonville, North Carolina. So I don't know. He's probably thriving actually. Yeah, one could hope he's thriving. I wish I was nothing but good fortunes except for

the guy that scammed me. Dude, it's scammed. I don't know if I've been scammed. That was the only time I can legitimately say I was scammed. And it's like in hindsight, you feel so stupid because you're like damn I should have seen this coming. Right you're like everything it was painting the picture and internally you're like wow a deal. I know because like it was just you know it was too good to be true it is. Man what else is fun? What's your timeline like? I got some time left. I literally have nothing going on.

What is it? 2032? It's still a little too early for me to go to sleep. Whoa, this guy's in the military. He said 20. Yes, civilian. I said 2032. That means 832 PM in civilian.

God. Oh man. I was so right. to PM in civilian. God. Oh man. I like this one right. This is like we're scraping from the bottom of the barrel for this one when you're talking to me. Well, I haven't done anything in like a month.

Like I guess for the listeners, Cody quit and then my wife moved in and then I hadn't worked. So I'd just been pretty busy. Yeah, what happened to Cody? I don't know man he just sent me a text one day it's like hey I'm gonna do my own thing later. I was like all right later so I was like well I got a lot going on. You know what happened right? What's that? Ukraine was like we'll give you we'll give you some big buckaroonees if you

if you stop talking about it since they were awesome. He's like how many many buckaroos? This many buckaroos. He holds up three. He's a well. Well, that's a lot of people like, we'll give you your own Bradley. Dude, back back in like the heyday a couple of months a couple of months ago, like the amount of pro-Ukrainians

that would slide in the page, they're like, literally go fuck yourself. You can't stand to see Ukraine winning. I'm like, I don't think, what? Okay. And it's a picture, it's like replying to a story of a frog or something. I'm like, what are you doing? Get out of here. I just like, sometimes I look at you guys and it's like, do they really think Ukraine is going gonna lose or do they just save this to get people going? Like I feel like they just save sometimes to get people going. Uh back uh I don't know if you follow like the Kroatoan page but that that page is like dead, it's dead dead. So periodically every time a funny headline comes up where it's like Ukrainians lose several thousand people in assault I'm like I'm gonna share that, it's funny.

So I was trolling. I don't care. I'm not going to lie though. Some of the comments were like, some of the comments were great. Like, Croatian Report be like, no, bro, they're going to fall any day now, bro. Just be, bro. It's like, people fucking commenting. I was like, bro, these comments are fire. Dude, I used to just like, I would have a bad day at work. It would be like a bad day. I was like, man, I need a good pick me up. Let's see how Ukraine's doing right now. And I'll share a picture of it with Alex Jones, though.

Slaughter my ass. Just tearing headlines with Alex Jones, chimping out, chimping out. Oh, yeah. with Alex Jones chimping out. Chimping out. Oh man. The latest one I posted on there, the picture of the wolf and a sword saying, me protecting all of you, poorly cropped. What is the one I just posted with the other page, I friend Fox. Oh hold on, let me see that. The chocolate trap went off, but there

is no corpse. Oh, man. Gang fear. Dude, Iggy Pop's a good artist. I don't care what he says. Yes, Iggy Pop has always been good. Like, you know what I mean? Like, you know, this is like probably the greatest insult. If I could, if I became, hypothetically of course, a dictator and absolute control, I would wage holy war on people that have labeled my music that I love, butt rock and divorced dad rock. Do you follow that page on Instagram? It's like a playlist on Spotify called Divorced Dad Rock. Do you follow that page on Instagram? It's like a playlist on Spotify called Divorced Dad Rock. Honestly, it's a fire playlist. It's hilarious. But the fact that kids like, I have had someone to my face say, yeah, you like Divorced Dad Rock.

I told them like, I am literally going to fuck your ass up here in the next 15 seconds. No one talks shit about Fred Durst except for Fred Durst. Dude, you're driving to work like, I stand alone. It's just sitting in traffic. Actually it's more like, you know, I'm Nickelback, you know. I don't care what anyone says. Nickelback is fucking good. Dude, dude, these are some bangers. People just said Nickelback sucked. Dude. Yeah. And it's like people said Nickelback sucked when I was like, we were kids because like that was trendy and cruel to do.

Oh, edgy bro. Like no Nickelback has some bangers, dude. I saw them at concert. And that was a fucking phenomenal concert. Dude, I remember I was in the fifth grade and I was sitting next to this kid who was in like the sixth grade. And I think his girlfriend just broke up with him and he was this isn't like 2005. He's like, hey, do you want to listen? Please tell me it was photographed. It was photographed so he's like you want to listen and she's like you want to listen to music with me and I was like oh sure so he gave me one of his uh like headphones and we listened to photograph on loop for a big 20 minutes. Dude I'm not gonna lie when they uh I saw my costume in Honolulu was like the first time they

they had been in Hawaii. Hold on, here, we want a little magic for your listeners. Oh, oh yeah, there we go. There it is. Yeah, there it is. Like, I saw them in Honolulu, it's been the first time they played in Hawaii for like 27 years.

Fire, oh my God. They fucking brought the... And the best part was like, it was talking cheek the entire time that they're all 40 40 year old men edging towards 50 Mm-hmm That's one thing so I saw awesome

I saw blink when 82 in concert a couple years ago And i've always been a huge blink when 82 fan But I just think there's something odd about 50 year old men making dick and fart jokes still Yeah, I mean but then again we were two 30 year old men taking fart jokes. This is true. Who are we to judge? Who are we to judge? Wow, literally me.

I had a buddy from the Marine Corps who hit me up a couple weeks ago. He's like, Hey man, do you know what imposter syndrome is? I was like, yeah. He's like, I feel like I have that. I'm an E6 now and I still feel retarded. It's like, yeah. He's like, I'm in charge. I'm like, whoops. Oh, real.

He's literally me. Dude, actually, serious note. Did I tell you on the last time I never, I did not listen to that one before this, that I was on the USS New York and that was like a floating tomb? That thing was haunted as hell. No, I've always wanted to go like on to somebody's house and say, I'm going to go to the house and say, I'm going to go to the house and say, I'm going to go to the house and say, I'm going to go to the house and say, I'm going to go to the house and say, I'm going to go to the house and say, I'm going to go to the house and say, I'm going to go to the house and say, I'm going to go to the house and say, I'm going to go to the house and say, I'm going to go to the house and say, I'm going to go to the house and say, I'm going to go to the house and say, I'm going to go to the house and say, I'm going to go to the house and say, I'm going to go to the house and say, I'm going to go to the house and say, I'm going to go to the house and say, I'm going to go to the house and say, I'm going to go to the house and say, I'm going to go to the house and say, I'm going to go to the house and say, I'm going to go to the house and say, I'm going to go to the house and say, I'm going to go to the house and say, I'm going to go to the house and say, I'm going to go to the house and say, I'm going to go to the house and say, I'm going to go to the house and a floating tomb. That thing was haunted as hell. Yeah, I've always wanted to go like onto some of these haunted ships. Yeah, so the USS New York's made out of the World Trade Center. And so there's 3000 souls built into that damn thing. And swear to you, every night, like blanket would fall off or be pulled off because a little coffin racks like they're not big, you can't really move around would fall off or be pulled off because a little coffin racks, like they're not big, you can't really move around those, they would fall off. And then I worked in

the ready room in the back of the ship and there would always be like a knock on the door in the middle of the night and I would wait just to see if like someone's like, you know, fucking with me or something. Nah, man, someone would just like something would just knock on the door. And then the whole the whole ships are floating too. So you kind of wander around and there's like this water, this bench was in the North tower on the 32nd floor. And then there's like all these knickknacks that were in the trade center floating around the ship. I'm like, God damn, this is the most haunted thing.

It's intense. Like there's like an atmosphere on it. I've been on a couple of ships and that one's just eerie. Yeah, that's kind of macabre, man. I didn't even know that. I did not know that. I knew it was made of like steel from the World Trade Center, but I did not know. Yeah, like, yeah, that's like, if you look up, yeah, what is it? The top 10 or top seven most haunted ships. I don't know if anyone wants to talk about the USS New York being haunted because it's the World Trade Center. But it's been over 20 years. The society is healed. It's time to talk about this. It's wild. You know, it's kind of funny, you know, like on the topic of 9-11, like I've been to the 9.11 memorial and I've always wondered like, you know,

like you just have to, you just can't help but think about it now. Like, you know, what, like so much, like so much sight of so much death, you know. Oh yeah. Like, yeah, it's like, like, you know, what, like, is there stuff that happens there?

Do people see things? Like, I, and like, I've been there and it's like, it's overwhelming, to be honest. Like it's it was, especially when you go down inside to the Accra Memorial. It's very overwhelming. It was very overwhelming. It's like, I watched this. It was like a late night travel channel episode about World Trade Center survivors and what do you call it, like artifacts around that area being haunted. There's a bunch of people that were like, yeah, I was a firefighter. And like, I've had weird type of paranormal activity ever since 9-11.

It's like, I don't know. I think you're out of something. Yeah. I never really bothered to look into it, but like, you know, I know how I felt when I was at the memorial. Just one, it's just like this overbearing feeling of emotion. Somebody lost their life in an instant. I just always wonder. It's like the stories about the Indonesian tsunamis, right? You know, how many people did this? No, they remember the Indonesian tsunamis when we were kids.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. How many, how many people did that kill? That's so many. I watched this. Yeah, I watched this one. Every time I go to a hotel, I just watch travel channel, like late night spookies. And I was watching one of this like Indonesian

Ghost-hunter who went to an abandoned like amusement park where it's supposedly haunted a lot of people died at this thing with the tsunamis Roll through bruh the amount of footage that came out of that was insane. Oh Yeah, like it's insane like when you hear when you you actually listen to the stories about like Where the tsunami hit and what people see I in the aftereffects of like, you know People knock on your door in the middle effects of like, you know, people knocking on your door in the middle of the night, like soaking wet, like asking for help or like same thing in like Fukushima, right? When the tsunami hit Fukushima, like there's still people that report like seeing victims of the tsunami wandering the streets at night.

Like stopping for someone. That's bizarre. You know, it'd be a cool one if you took like a well, I mean, probably not now, given the circumstances, we take like a little sub and go to the Titanic and just see if anything is spooky happens. Yeah, so I'm gonna try to do it exploded. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, good. Remember how funny that was? Because they were like, they only have so many days and hours left to breathe. And then the Navy came out there like, yeah, we're we got knocks every 30 minutes down there. And then it came out that's like, the Navy found him weeks earlier. They're like, what was that knocking that everyone's like, shut up? Yeah, I remember that. I was like, that was weird. And then the story came up, I'm like, oh, they were knocking to like, not yeah, they died instantly. Or today. I always find it sad because there was that kid that was pulled down into all that, you know, everyone's like, oh, but you dead millionaires died. And there's like just some poor fucking innocent kid that got killed in the whole thing.

Yeah, this guy, he had a look through his mom watching Titanic on loop and she was like, you're going to be Jack one day. And he's like, all right. That was intense. That was that was a whoo. It was a bit much. I'm assuming I just had some black coffee. I'm feeling good. It's 844. Black coffee at 844 at night. Who drinks black coffee at 8.44 at night? Well, you see, I ate a bunch of corned beef and we had to do this, so I was like, I need a little pick-me-up so I drink a pot of coffee. A pot of coffee? Who needs a pot of coffee? I just made some coffee.

Anybody want coffee? Dude, I love how we have the same type of humor. Yeah, we're both autistic as fuck oh man carry the boats i don't think i could carry a conversation i might have autism dude it's yeah oh i mean what else we got going on i was going to make a stacking bricks lego bricks by the same color joke but I don't know where to go with that Yeah, I mean like I don't know what's going on the world right now Israel Palestine, I don't know news a lot of news lot of news Decade decade of you know

Well, yeah the so the prime minister president of Haiti said he wasn't gonna step down until the revolution or whatever was over and then the next day stepped down and so now the leader of the gang his name is barbecue is now the de facto leader of Haiti and Like marine sense. I think it was like the 13th Mew send a bunch of guys to get it. Yeah, I saw the bass Marines or something. Yeah, so they sent the fast guys down there to pick them up, get the embassy evacuated. I've seen a bunch of things about how they are cannibals, but I have not seen any footage of people eating one another. So I can't confirm. That might be just the name of the group. And then what else is going on? Israel is going hard to the paint on Gaza right now. Ukraine's still losing. Trump got the Republican nomination.

The French president's wife might be a man. I've seen that a little bit. I've been listening to the band, Alex Jones, Prison Planet. I don't know if you ever listened to that. Wait, back up, huh? Yeah, I saw a few. There was like a video of like,rone's you're talking about McCrone Yes

Who if you didn't know? Married his elementary school teacher. She's like 20 years older than him. He went to school with her. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, I'm Pretty sure she's like an old woman Yeah, but yeah, there was like this I saw it on Twitter There was a video of her walking and it looked like there was a bulge and so all these, all these right toy conspiracies there is sort of like, why are they all gay? It's like the same people that insist that Milchel Obama is a man. Yeah, they just saw a picture of her back and they're like, look at the lats spread. She's massive. Yeah, bro, how do I be like her? Like, you think this is like a game?

Like you're making fun of her? Like, bro, how do I get it back? Yeah, we're looking at the wrong issues here. Talk about what she's doing to do that. Like notwithstanding, it's very obvious that she's probably a swimmer. She has a swimmer's back. I don't know. People, you know, I love wiring right wing conspiracy theorists because sometimes they're just so fucking retarded. Like seriously, bro. This is the hill you want to die on. You want to die on the Michelle Obama is a man.

You do that for like 15 years. Michelle Obama is a gay man and had his gay sex friends murdered in Chicago when he ran for president. I'm like, I don't understand how that has anything to do with anything. But all right. Like I'm just saying, like, you know, you know, I also find funny that Barack Obama is, you know, I, you know, I didn't agree with a lot of Barack Obama's policies, but I, you know, personally thought he was a decent president. Like, you know what I mean? Um, I find it funny that he's always out of the limelight. I'm like the Clintons, unlike Trump, I'm like the bushes.

Like our first black president is like nary a mention in history now. Yeah. I feel like that's incredibly honorable. Yeah. It's just respectable. He's like one of those guys, like I feel like I should like dislike him, but I can't find it within me to dislike him. I can disagree with him. But yeah, every time he has a new interview come out, I watch it because he has such a perfect way of talking to like gain the audience's interest. I'm like, damn, he's good.

Oh, yeah. It's funny, too. Like I tell people to like, you know, like this media campaign to make Joe Biden seem like he's like dementia ridden and crazy and stuff like that. Like, yeah, I think it's funny. But like, I don't think he's like that in that. Because like, I've listened to interviews where like people talk to him one on one.one and he's like not in like a president vibe and he's very coherent and he actually says like some very profound things. Dude, you want to hear a breaking news from Dan Crenshaw. America wouldn't be here without Israel.

I believe that's the other way around, but that's just me. What do you mean by this? I don't know. I met Dan Crenshaw once. I went to my buddy. My buddy worked at the 8th and I, the Marine Corps headquarters in DC, and the Ukrainian ambassador Dan Crenshaw were there. And so I walked up and you know, he wears an eye patch. And it was like my buddy just said, dress nice. I wear a blazer with an open button shirt. Now everyone's wearing like suit and tie so I was criminally underdressed for this like suit and tie occasion and kept asking to take shots out of Dan Crenshaw's face. I'm like you took a shot I'll take a shot like I think it'll be fun. He did not like it was like a it was a bizarre turn the Marines were like can you please stop talking to the uh the guest. I was like yeah sure.

Who invited this guy? Pretty much dude I was floating around there. I was like, yeah, sure. Who invited this guy? Pretty much, dude. I was floating around. I was like, where's that incredible ambassador? I would like to have a word with him. My buddy's like, please don't talk to him. Please God, don't talk to him. I was like, all right.

So then we went to the Commandant of the Marine Corps. We went to the Commandant of the Marine Corps' house, went into his basement and drank a bunch of his old whiskey. That was a good night. Wait, with the Command command of the Marine Corps? No, we just went into his basement while he was attending to the guests.

It's fucked up. I feel like, who the fuck drinks my whiskey? Dude, we were like high schoolers, like going into the basement as our parents were having guests over. We were like, eh. Oh, okay. They're like our mid-20s. Yeah.

Okay, yeah, that's fine. Yeah. That makes, okay. Yeah, that's fine. I mean, you know, honestly, one day when you stop responding to my messages, I'll know why now. Oh, I was, this was like two years ago. This was not. Exactly. When you stop responding to my memes I send you, like, I'm going to know why.

They got me. The, uh, I do appreciate that. I'm gonna laugh when you know when Ukraine becomes our 51st state. I'm just gonna be like I'm just gonna go and send you memes and just be like oh you. Dude, it's the cheapest leg grab of all time. We didn't lose a single American in the game. If you want to think about it, the 54th behind Germany, Japan, and Iraq. It's going to be the biggest proxy war of all time. It's going to be huge. It will be even bigger than all the wars in South America. We do the best proxy wars better than the Russians, the Chinese, and the French. I like how you gave him a French accent. Yeah, I'm like slurring my words here,

if you look at that, I'm sorry. No, sorry for that, ladies and gentlemen. There was a impromptu break. But anyways, we're looking at each other now, so this guy's an absolute beauty. I don't know, but this bottle of horse soldier is looking mad fine right now. I have to I have to fight it After two beers, that's when my alcoholism comes back out Fun fact for your audience. Like that's how it feels really gets where it started

I had more than two beers had six that night actually There's a 12 six. Oh Yeah, so I am that guy that has the, I am the type of drinker that I will overindulge and not know when to stop. So I think, I think I had six that night and I just kept drinking. I think I ended up like, I had probably about 10 that night and I was like, I'm going to keep fucking just throwing a paranormal military page about the military and I started it and then I was just like the next morning I sobered up and I was like

oh fuck what do I do with this it's so sick you ever see those memes where it's like uh it's like what's the best thing about having a girl move in with you is like when you let her know that you need six beers to fall asleep oh my my god. I can't say that with me. I definitely, I have to stop drinking now because if I want to go to sleep in the next like hour or two, like I can't drink before sleep. I'll sleep like shit. Dude, it's a Thursday. Yeah, I just passed this course, you know, this army school. Well, I mean, I didn't pass, I still have to go to school tomorrow, but tomorrow's a bullshit day. Is that graduation day?

No, it's like you go play around with the Chinook, which I've done like a thousand times already and then you leave. And then I'm a certified sling load inspector. What is that? So it's basically something like in the Army Aerosol school, among aging you and repelling and stuff, they teach you how to set up and inspect sling loads. This course is they take out all the repelling,

all the physical stuff, and they just focus on the sling loads. So this course also, it basically tells it tells people that I'm I could set up an inspect the sling load before it goes on a helicopter. Is it like one of those if you're a parachute rigger that if it malfunctions, you're held respond responsible? Yeah. Yeah. It's actually I was caught off guard. It's actually a pretty not like I would say like in pot was really hard school, but it was a lot more in depth than I thought. It's only five days, well, four days,

really. Well, really three days of class, one day of testing, and then old practical the next day. So like, you really don't have that much time to learn shit. So, you know, I passed by the hair and my little chinny chin chin. That's man. I chin chin. Would you like to see my cat Isis? Sure. Alright let me get. What would you like to see the kitty? Yeah let me grab her. Where are you?

Stop it you. This is Is you. Stop. This is Isis. Meow. Yeah, she's not a two-haft. I never had cats. I'm a dog guy. But I would love to have a cat. Yeah, I like a cat that likes me. This one's pretty chill. Plays fetch. Yeah, it's fucking badass. It's awesome. What else do we got to talk about? I don't know.

We're kind of just bullshitting. Yeah. I'm like, honestly, for your listeners too, like I haven't been posting a lot of stories on the page just because I'm fried. I've literally spent a month in Alaska. Uh, I had a, I came back home for a week and then I'm here. I'll go back home for a month and a half and then I'm in Southeast Asia for a month and then I come back.

Dude, the only thing more bizarre than your timeline is the time you met Chris Chan. You told me that one time. Yeah, like long time ago in passing, I didn't realize who he was at first. So because I'm back here, I'm I want to go I want to go to Richmond I want to find his ass. Oh hey yo Christina come here. Christina I want to take a picture with you. Christine Wesson Chandler Sonichu Goddess Blue Heart yeah. And then I would steal I would steal the fucking Sonichu medallion and run. Dude, it's... I love Christian. I would steal it for you.

I've introduced so many people to Christian, I showed my wife and she sort of cried. She was like, why is this a person? Dude, honestly, like when Albert Huxley warned us about man-made horrors beyond comprehension, yo, Christian. I'm not saying that Unabomber was justified in his actions, but I am saying that, you know, he did warn us this would be one of the results. Dude, fucking Chris Chan. We ended on Chris Chan.

Let's talk about that for a little bit. Dude, I don't know if I want to. I am an avid Chris story and I've watched all of Geno Samuel's documentaries. Every time I get, every time a new lore video drops, I'm an avid Chris story and I've watched all of Geno Samuel's documentaries. Every time I get every time a new lore video drops. I'm there. I've read his Chris Chan is the perfect example of what happens when you take a mentally ill loner who doesn't have a support structure. And you introduce him to the internet in an echo chamber of people,

what backup and he is also, you know, a person who is also extremely gullible and receptive to outside influence because of his mental state that he can't control. And he introduced him to the internet and we literally watch this man, this boy really, like, descend into madness in like real time and it's horrible. It's insane. It's like that political horseshoe, you know what I'm talking about, where it goes whole circle, where it's like, it doesn't matter, political horseshoe for listeners, it's like, it doesn't matter what your policy is you always end up at like nazi political ideology but that's just it's chris chan but backwards where it's like it's terrible it's funny it's terrible it's funny and there i love that meme where it's like it's like chris

chan if you look normal and he's like why what now I did what with my mother come on man that that is that's a crazy ass dream let's go into the arcade what if it was all just a dream dude there was a video that he made he made a video back in like his the golden era Chris Chan where he was like it's all been a ruse. I take care of my family. I'm not autistic. And then he wanders off and you're like, this was the good ending. That would have been a perfect troll. He's like, you have been trolled. And then, yeah, we know what happened. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time. It would be a toss up between saving Harambe, because we all know that's where the universe diverged. Oh yeah, of course. Uh, or like preventing Chris Chan from meeting that one chick.

And maybe we could have saved him. Megan Schroeder. Yeah. Maybe, maybe Chris Chan just needed an actual friend and we could have prevented all this. Clyde Cash. Blue Spike. If we could, I'm not that kind of guy who goes, who's like, if I were to tell him, should I go back in time to kill Hitler? Cause I don't know.

I'd fall in love with his voice. He was very persuasive, but Blue Spike has to go. No, you ever see that Norm MacDonald bit where he's like, yeah, you know, Norm, yeah. Where he's like, yeah, it's a seductive voice. And I would beat up Hitler because he was such a goober. Yeah. I would fight Hitler. Hitler can't fight. Let's just be real. Like all the were bros out there and the fucking neo-Nazis come at me.

We all know Hitler couldn't fight. That's why he had to get a whole nation to do it for him. Like Che Guevara, did you see the, I posted it. It was like Che Guevara got Dunked on by Fidel Castro and wrote a whole fucking thing on it He's like Fidel Castro his flamboyance in his his skills on basketball won him the game But what cost to the relation of the revolution? I was like what a fucking goober Please send me back in time so I can beat him up

Che Guevara, oh dude like what a fucking goober, please send me back in time so I can beat him up. Jake Rivera. Oh dude, I would beat up Karl Marx because he wrote on capital after he knocked up, like he got five children and he was penniless and he was like, actually the system is the problem here. But okay, to be fair though, to be fair, Karl Marx had some points, like the workers access to a weapon shall not be infringed down

based. Yeah. Yeah. But never forget, Karl Marx, Karl Marx was a land was a property owner with you was a homeowner. What's fucking weird. I'm looking for here. landlord. Yeah, that guy. I'm fucking I'm feeling it right now. Damn dude. Oh, what else? The beers I had are like 8%. What'd you have? It's like this Virginia beer I've never heard before. So I lived here before and I love the beer culture because for those I don't know, Virginia is fucking awesome for fucking breweries. Probably some of the best beer I've ever had has been in Virginia. Except for one beer on the Big Island Golden Sabbath by Big Island Brew House, fantastical beer, highly recommend. But I digress. Virginia beer is awesome. And there's like now coming back to Richmond,

there's so many breweries here that I don't recognize because there was like 50 of them when I was here before and there's so many now. Damn. Dude, it's like the water is down here apparently. Really? Yeah. Dude, I think it was trash man. Dude, like I don't know. So I think it's central Virginia. I don't know about DC area, but central Virginia, Virginia beach, I don't know. So I think it's central Virginia. I don't know about DC area, but central Virginia, Virginia Beach. Like, apparently the water is supposed to be super conductive to brewing. Really? Yeah, same thing with distilling. Like, it's just really good.

Dude, that's sick. I told you who has no business making beer, the Greeks. I've had their Hellas beer. Hellas? Yeah, I've had Hellas. It's the worst. I drink French and Greek beer on a pier in fucking... where was I? Not Dubai, it was the port outside Dubai discussing beer. And it was, we found it in the back of a fucking fridge, an entire pallet of it. So we did do that on the pier for 50 cents. fridge, a higher palette of it. So we did do it here for 50 cents. I've had a Cruz Campo Spanish beers like their Bud Light. It's pretty good. It's like also like 50 cents a can. So my favorite cheap ass beers if I can choose. Not American, of course, if I was

not really not the American ones. LeBot Blue. A love LeBot, a Canadian LeBot Blue. Yeah, that's good. Well, I guess it's technically American, but a Genesee Genesee beer from fucking Rochester. I love Genesee Creme Ale. Um, Montauk Cold Snap, the Montana State beer. That's a fucking great beer. You can get like four tall boys for like seven bucks. Why? And it's like it's like PBR except for good. Dude when I lived in Japan oh go ahead go ahead. Oh no go ahead no you do. Oh so the only light American beer they had in Japan was uh PBR. You know a bush white bush white bush light

like fanatic so I was just having to swallow PBR. I will say though that the Japanese Orion beer is not bad. I actually my favorite Japanese beer, I mean, you got to respect Kirin Ichiban. But my favorite is Asahi Super Dry. Yeah, that's a good one for dinner. That's a good one. Really? You ever had the Strong's? No, I don't have.

Dude, Strong was like standard little can, but it had the equivalent of like four shots of tequila in it. And it tasted like the way fruity pebbles smells, dude. It went down so easy. It's like soju. I refuse to drink soju because of how easy it goes down. It's, yeah, back in my Marine days, dude, it was was it's a good way to start the set Friday night you're like just get off working to crush one of these with some naan bread and be like all right yeah let's go fight some engineers. Hell yeah it's like and then if I'm gonna go like non-American beers non-German beers but uh I prefer so Guinness is good I love the good Guinness every now and again but I prefer Kilkenny.

Oh, yeah, that's good stuff. But Kilkenny is so fucking hard to find. In fact, the only place I'm good. Killian's Red is pretty good, but the last place I had Kilkenny, and this goes back to my complicated background lore, was in the officer lounge of NSA Naval Support Activity, Bahrain, in like 2013, the officer club had fucking Kilkenny on tap and so I would go wander down to the officer club because of my position and I would drink Kilkenny from the tap like I'd have like two beers then go out of town because for those of you that didn't know if you go look up cities of the world Manama Bahrain is like number three or number five depending on this Yeah, Manama Bahrain is the Muslim sin city

That's pretty fun. That's pretty fucking sick, dude. Yeah. Yeah, I have I had this entire crazy background Lord Hey, I wish it was cooler. It's interesting that it really is. Oh Yeah, it's like one of those where you look at your life. You're like, I haven't done much. And then you actually like go down the list. You're like, I've actually done some cool stuff. Oh yeah. I party with a Sheik in fucking a Filipino karaoke bar in Bahrain. Dude, how was that?

I mean, I was drunk, so I don't know. They were buying the drinks. That's also when I was, I was also when so I don't know. They were buying the drinks. That's also when I was introduced to how gracefully Filipinos age, because I was talking to this, this is before I met my wife, obviously. I was talking to this lady all night, and I swear to God, I thought she was like my age, like 22. And she was like, how old do you think I am?

And I was like, 20s. And she was like, no. And I was like, how old do you think I am? And I was like, 20s. And she was like, No, and I was like, Okay, early 30s. Now this woman she was 51. I was like, holy moly, like, you age incredibly, like, incredibly well, like, I'm in awe of how, like, certain certain demographics and ethnicities age. Blew my mind. Dude, it's a superpower. Man, damn, I was gonna say something, but dude, it fell out. Pinoy supremacy.

Pinoy? Oh man, what else? I don't know, man. You got anything going on? You can get to write a third book. Oh yeah, so I'm working on volume three. Well, I need to. The travel that I've been doing,

I bring my computer with me and I'm like, oh, I had so much time to work on this stuff and I don't. So unforeseen, but I have all the stories set aside for volume three. So I need to put it together. So I'm planning on trying to put that out before Christmas. I think that'll be like a little bit better than the May timeframe I've been doing. I have another collection of all like civilian stories, not civilian, but like non-military stuff.

Yeah, that I think will be pretty cool. So I'll put that. I want to put that together this year too. And then I actually wrote a short story collection. Really? Like, yeah, so I like did it a while back. A buddy of mine, William Boulard Buck,

basically, he, oh, hold on, let me check something. Hold on, Delete that part. Okay. No worries. I don't know if I should, I don't know if I should say his name real quick. Me check something. You're good.

Yeah. Yeah, we are. Yeah, nevermind. Um, I'll just say it. Yeah. He, uh, uh, he hit me up a while back. We've been friends for a while. Like internet friends too, like this

wonderful relationship. And for the, I'll plug his book, he wrote, he wrote Soberman's Thought with Dead Reckoning Collection, awesome poetry book, one of my favorites. You know, hit me up a while back, we were talking and he was like, hey, I think you should try to write a short story for this collection that was going on. And so I wrote a short story. I submitted it. It didn't get selected, whatever.

But I'm like, you know what? I'll just self-publish, right? And so like the last year, well, yeah. So like over the last year, in some change, I was been writing like some short stories here and there because it's easier for me to do like, as I was getting into it, like figuring stuff out and developing my like, like style, if you will. So I wrote 11 short stories for

a like a short story collection. And I put that together. Yeah, and I'm trying to pitch it. I haven't signed the contract yet. So I won't say the name yet. But I'm trying to pitch it to like a minor publisher, like a veteran publisher nice and see if they pick it up or not If not, I'll just publish it myself or you know, someone else but hopefully it goes well. I think it's pretty good I think most people will enjoy it. I try to write it like Like, you know scary stories to tell in dark kind of something like that like military made so there's like every story is a military thing story with the military themed story with a military, like a paranormal topic to it.

So there's of course- Are you pulling in like a firsthand accounts as like references or you just building it? No, so I tried not to rip off people's stories because I felt like that would be a cheap way out. So I took a lot of inspiration from people. So like elements that in people's stories that I found being like, you know kind of connections Why kind of winding into a thing?

so there's like a story about like ghouls and Fallujah which I based that one off of An old 4chan post I saw back in the day About dude seeing ghouls in Iraq It's funny funny enough I did get it somebody hit me up and I don't know if it was fake or not. They never told me the story about seeing monsters in Fallujah. So I kind of like, yeah, this sounds like it'd be kind of cool. So it's about like, you know, Marines encountering ghouls in Fallujah. And it's like the ghouls, you kill it like eating all their fucking insurgents that they kill and shit like that. Because they're like

the eaters of the dead. And it's like sh shenanigans and of course the marines kill a bunch of them. Oh yeah of course. Yeah the marines like see someone in a tomb and they're like you know what grenade oh I guess I spoiled it bleep that part out. Oh no. You want me to? All right yeah. I don't care like I did some other ones like there's uh there's 11 stories like some are about ghosts and they're about monsters uh I try to make it interesting There's 11 stories, some are about ghosts, some are about monsters. I try to make it interesting. I try to add some twists in there, some good reveals and stuff. I just think people are interested. And if it does well, I have some ideas for a novel in the future that I'll work on. You're going to shoot for a novella or you're going to go full on book?

I'm going to go full on book. So in the short story collection, full on book. I'm gonna go full on book. So in the short story collection, um, at least two of them are like novella length. They're they're like a bump. What's considered a short story. Nice. They're like, one's about a little over 10,000 words and one's just at 10,000. Really?

What is that like 30 pages? Uh, just just about, yeah. So I think the math for a 5x8 book would be around 200-something pages. 250 pages. Dude, hell yeah. So I'm trying to make something for people to enjoy. Something, you know,

toilet reading as I call it. Dude, that's so sick. I'm so happy, man. That's awesome. Yeah, I know. Maybe it'll be released around October timeframe. We'll see. Dude, that'll be sick. But is there anything else you want to promote before we jump off? Dude, not much, man. I wish I was more active right now on the page, but this new job is kicking my ass, man so like believe it or not like the last like year from Like October prior I was in the man like running this page in a payday like

When it started I started getting big like I was literally in company in the entire time And like I don't know I I managed that in company command and survive. But this new job has me traveling a lot. So it kind of bites me in the ass. But yeah, you know, I'll be home for about another month, month or so. So I'll be able to like, dial down and do some stuff. I was thinking about trying to do like some Facebook live. Like I was thinking about trying to go on like, I'll do an Instagram live after this, maybe, you know, just to get people going. Hey, guys. Facebook lives like I think about trying to go on like I'll do a Instagram live after this maybe

You know just to get people going. Hey guys Hey guys, it's me I'm still around I'm so so fucking sad Not really, but you know, you got to muffle the audio so you sound like a 2008 like Call of Duty model warfare 2 like hey It I'm that 22 years on YouTube. I don't know if I can do it because I mean, I've had a couple of beers, but I used to have a pretty bad ass like Ben Shapiro voice. I was like on point.

Me like, no, I'm laughing so I can't do it. Dude, I'll tell you something funny though. My dad, one time told me, my dad was like listening to Ben Shapiro and he was like, I would hate to see this guy in an alley. I'd hate to cross them. I was like, why? He was like, because he would just wait or disarm me with logic. I was like, what's he talking about? I call it the Ben Shapiro strategy where it's like, you don't have to know what you're talking about. You don't have to be right, but you just have to be louder, more aggressive and more ambitious

than the other person and you're going to fucking win. Dude, dude, he's built like plankton. He's got the same type of vibe. Dude, I just like, like his self like the things he says, like, why did he say that? He's like, it's like, so he's like debating some chick and she's like, you know, I'm just, um, I would be uncomfortable with a man like you if I was alone in the elevator. He's like, seriously, you would be afraid of me. A five foot five Jewish boy with baby soft hands, afraid of me. Like I was like, what, why did he say that? Or like, when he was like, he had nothing to gain from that. Like why did he burn himself like that? He didn't sink the ship, but like why? Like I mean like he destroyed the carrier group, but he killed himself at the same time.

Or like that fucking real dead tweet where he was about like, you know, this is a lot like sniffing your sister's underwear. You do it once or twice out of curiosity, but it doesn't progress to anything more than that. And I was just like, what do you mean by this? Ben, we've all seen your sister. What does this mean? Ben, what? Ben, stop.

Have you seen that guy that calls like, go ahead. Oh, sometimes I think people like him to say shit because they have a massive humiliation kink and then when he likes to say shit like that like when he was like there's there's no such thing as a laugh it's scientifically impossible and people just like ragging on them like I just feel like he was just busting the fattest like just loads because it just if I'm like what does he have to gain by this other than humiliation like literally that's all he wants that's

all he wants to do is be humiliated. God damn it I was gonna say I lost it Ben Shapiro the damn dude fuck I lost it sorry I like to show my Shapiro voice I used to have a really good Carl Weiser voice back Damn dude, fuck man. I know. I lost it. Sorry. I like to show off my intro voice. I used to have a really good Carl Weiser voice back in the day too. Dude, Carl Weiser memes coming back is society is healing man. I told my fucking mom to do me. YouTube poop style videos coming back to the internet is amazing.

Do you see a bit of a toilet? Why would people want people like complain about them? Like, bro, this is just YouTube poop. Dude, only the real estate number the Mass Effect YouTube poops. Oh, my God. Dude, Mass Effect is a game by itself. Was essentially about being as mean to aliens as humanly possible and getting what you want. Where you're like, uh, based. You're like, tell me about the, the gamma sphere. And he was like, yes, this crazy ghouls come from this part of the galaxy. Would you like to hear about your like,

I don't care about this. Okay. I'm commander shepherd and this is my bowl. Okay. I'm Commander Shepard and this is my bowl. Dude, what was the first YouTube video you remember looking up? I remember mine. It was... I remember mine. It explains why. Yeah, mine was Halo 2 funny videos and it was like Green Days Boulevard Broken Dreams

playing over like... Yes! I remember this one! I remember this one! Dude, well, dude. Dude, that was like 2005. Kids these days will never know about fucking watching beheading videos on fucking Facebook, bro.

Oh, it was so sick. Dude, like people are like, oh my God, they're showing so much violence in Ukraine to like de-synthetize. I'm like, dude, this is nothing, dude. I watch people fucking get blown apart on YouTube and Facebook. I watch Saddam Hussein get hung to death by his own people with a phone.

Yeah, bro, like, dude, like, kids these days would never survive in fucking early 2000s era internet. No, no. It's like, ugh. I remember my first YouTube video though. it was the Argentina gnome video. What is this? Oh yeah dude, you gotta look at the Argentina gnome video. It's what started it all, man. I looked into the gnomes and I'm cursed with the knowledge of gnoming.

I have a buddy that like, this guy's timeline is bizarre. He was in the army as like an infantryman, then he came up, went to school and like, Orlando to be a projectionist, then worked for the WWE as like a projectionist. And now he goes on gnome adventures. He looks for gnomes. Dude, that's badass. We're never going to see him again. Dude, he always puts pictures of him with a Gnome in the background.

One day he's gonna vanish and we all know why. Dude, he got too close to the truth. Dude, speaking of WWE, I do love it that there's that one chick, whatever her name is, Ry or Ripley or whatever. They try to pass her off as Hispanic and she's like literally a fucking blonde haired fucking Australian. Dude, have you seen the Vince McMahon allegations? Dude, no, I miss the heyday. Kizney Zayn will never know about the ladder battle for Dominic Santiago, okay?

Or like no one will ever see when like dudes literally died in the ring. I used to watch a lot of WWE when I was a kid. Dude catching that when I was, I caught the ass into the attitude error when I was a kid. It was so good. Dude. Oh man. Like I had this like, of course this edgy white kid that lived across the street like introduced me to it. Was he doing moves on you to show you how cool he is? No, he was just like, dude, this is real. He explained the entire lore to me

and the kid that lived right next to me. And we were just so into WD. We never went to any shows, but I'd still like watching it. I remember it was like when I first joined the Marines and I got to my first unit, didn't know anybody, didn't have any friends. It was like a Friday and I saw a YouTube video that was like Undertaker lore. Next thing I knew it was Sunday night. I understood

all of the lore of the last like 25 years. I couldn't look away. I was like this stuff is addicting. It's so good. Dude, yeah. And then you got like just absolute gems like John Cena and Dwayne The Rock Johnson. Dude, I love when they bring out or bring back Stone Cold Steve Austin. He just waddles out. I love the Mario meme. Mario that stole about five thousand bowser's taking the princess. We gotta do a little bit of jumping. What? Punching? What? I'm gonna die. Dude, it's so fucking good.

Just not you line for line reciting a meme. Yeah, you know, guys, I'm pretty fucking retarded. Dude, I love it. Oh man. All right, it's 9.30. I think I'm gonna call it. Alright, bro. Tales from the Grid Square, everybody. If you don't mind holding on for a minute after I jump off. But if you have anything else, feel free.

Yeah, guys, it's great coming on. I like bullshit sometimes. I don't always have to be serious and talk about ghosts and goblins and shit. Sometimes you're just being two dudes, you're just being kind of stupid. It's fun. It's a refreshing breath of fresh air. Alright, everyone, goodbye.