Kitbag Conversations - Kitbag Conversations Episode 10: Chief
Episode Date: May 2, 2023CW4 Schwalm, 33 year army veteran with 24 years in 5th special forces group. Chief Schwalm has been in the gulf War, Horn of Africa, Invasion of Afghanistan, Invasion of Iraq, and the War on ISIS. ...
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I'm supposed to mow the grass today I'm supposed to fix the fence
But when the sun's beating down on me It's hard to make it make sense
Half of me wants a cold bed Yeah that's the cold hard truth
And when the refrigerator stops full of them Tell me what's they gonna do
I ain't even trying to find it's already been decided The sky and the mountains are blue
Half of me wants a cold bed And the other half does too
Yeah I kinda need to wash my truck
Welcome to the KitBed Conversations Episode 10
So I'm gonna speed through this introduction because
So 33 years in the army We said 24, 24 years in self
And then 5 conflicts First Gulf War
Invasion of Iraq Invasion of Afghanistan
Return of the Empire ISIS
And then the Horn of Africa
19 Delta and Gulf War got your combat action badge
You did 18 Zula 180 Alpha time so you have your CIB
And then you've also done 18 Delta and you did the combat medic
So basically you have every combat badge under the sun
You've been in part of every conflict in the last 30 years
And for those who don't know this is my dad
So we were talking but we're gonna start from the
Let's start with the first job which was the admin specialist
And you gotta start at the recruiters office
Because that's actually the funniest fucking thing
Sure no problem
So admin specialist
So to start with how I even got to the recruiters office
It goes back to how you know I was 18, 19
Absolute shit head kid was not doing
I had gone to college but my mom and dad had paid for me to go to college
I screwed off you know I was an absolute shit bag of a kid at that point
You know I wasn't getting in trouble
I wasn't like getting in law but I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing
My grades were trash
And I had failed pretty much
I had failed out of my first college which was a four year state college in New York
But you know in an odd thing I had gone to take my ASFAB while I was there at that college
And scored a 128 on my GT at that point
Which I knew nothing about or what the relevance of that was
Is it on max like 130 or something like that?
132
So I didn't even know
Yeah you got a 128 and the recruiters like I didn't do whatever I wanted with this
Yeah they were constantly on me I didn't know why
But I wind up going back to Rochester
I started going to Monroe Community College
That's where I met your mom
We started living together
And one of the things I was working at Night Crew at a grocery store full time
And I decided I wanted to do something more with it so I was going to go into the reserves
I had a friend who was also going to the college too
He said why don't you come out and be a combat engineer
He sold me the idea of being a combat engineer
I had to go take another ASFAB
At that point I scored a 129
I get back and the recruiters are really excited
It's like yeah we're going to send you over to the map station
You're going to be a combat engineer
You're going to go to the unit
Go through the deal, go to the map station
And of all the things that I was just
Physically everything's fine except for one small little thing
According to them I was color blind at the time
You're not color blind
At that point I somehow managed to suddenly become color blind
I couldn't tell the difference between red and green
Horribly so the numbers that I saw when I actually got to look at my own physical
And I understood what I was looking at
I was like you've got to be kidding me
I think so
You just looked at 50 bucks like I need an admin specialist
The difference between the recruiter and the map station
It's like what is the map station trying to fit in that day
And here's this kid
For looking at him he's got like a 129 GT
This kid, let's do something
So they sold me on this bill of goods that I could be an admin specialist
Which is a 71 Lima at that time
Packler essentially
Go down to four checks
The selling point to me
As soon as they told me I couldn't be an engineer
I was almost in tears
I couldn't be the cool guy I wanted to be
But they're like you can get six college credits off
I'm like okay, I get six college credits
Maybe I can rebuild my college career
And make my mom and dad happy
Get that college degree that they wanted me to get
Love, love, love
And I go down and I became a pack clerk
And I will say one of the things that has been
A huge part of my life in the Army
Because when I went through Fort Jackson and became a pack clerk
One of the things that they drove home while I was there
Was appearance, basic soldiering
And walk right, talk right, look right
And you can say what you want about it
When you become the combat arm soldier
And everything like that
You almost totally detest people who look like this
But when you're an NCO
And you've got that one soldier
Who is never a problem on appearance
Or anything you like
His records are right
His appearance is right
His uniform is right
His hair is right
When you get those basics out of the way
And this was always a big thing when I became a warrant officer
And in senior NCOs like look guys
Do the basics
Because when I go and talk to leadership
I don't want to talk to them about how my soldiers look
Or how they act or something like that
I want to go talk to them about
Give me money so I can go buy equipment
Give me the best operations
And the jobs that you guys got out there
From my team, from my units
I don't want to talk to them about that other crap
That's wasted time
If I've got only 15 minutes with my commander
Or my sergeant major
I don't want to talk to them about how one of my soldiers looks
And I was that one guy that took that burden off
Every commander, every soldier, every sergeant I ever had
Has never had me as that problem child
That they had to go talk to the sergeant major about
Or anything like that
And now since I've taken that off the table
All the other military things that make you a better soldier
That super soldier was available to me
And it's just like here, now go do this stuff
And one of the things that we always said in Special Forces
That a Special Forces soldier is not like this real super soldier
He's just mastered the basics
And if you can master the basics
Everything else is gravy
You know what's funny about that though
Is that without even mentioning it
We do that to each other
For those who don't know
It was weird being me for a minute there
Because I was a second lieutenant
With aerosol, airborne, and then my pathfinder torch
But I didn't have a ranger tab
So automatically heads started going
What the fuck is that thing?
Because we check each other
Because we wear everything
I know your Special Forces are a ranger
I know if you've seen combat based on a combat patch
You can read somebody
Immediately once they walk it
And we don't like to admit it
We don't really care how we look
We like to be war fighters
But really we do it to every single guy
And not so much women
We may start soon
But men size each other up
And uniform the minute they see each other
You got a combat patch
Oh shit you got one
You got a ranger tab?
Well though you don't
I got a ranger tab
You're a pussy
Oh yeah yeah yeah
It's a measuring contest
Yeah
But then you could be a fat ranger
Or you could be a fat SF guy
And then it's like
You look like shit
Well that brings things into question
That brings into question
You know it's like yeah
You can be overweight
But now we got a question
Are you overweight and out of shape
Or are you overweight
And you're just one of those guys
That miraculously can pull this stuff up
As opposed to looking at somebody go
Oh no he definitely can go do what he needs
What we want him to do
Yeah
I think it was buff S1 clerk
I've never fucking seen
Right right right right
Yeah
Yeah and so that would
That the one thing I would
By having all that S1 background
I mean I could do anything in an S1 shop
You want a lead form
I'll do a lead form
You want your records to look good
SGLI
DD214
You know all that stuff
You know we'll do it
I'll do it all
I can do it all
So I know what Wright looks like
And that made me a danger
You know that
You know when I walk into an S1 shop
And when I was in Special Forces
Or any unit really
And somebody
You know tries to song a dance act
Why they're
You know I'm telling them
They're screwed up
And they're like
Oh well you're just an SF guy
You don't really know what we do
And I go
Let me show you something real quick
You know Stud
I used to be you
I know what you're supposed to be doing
I know what you're capable
I know what you were trained to do
And this ain't it
And then they
Oh shit
Yeah which also on the other side
Of the coin too is like
You know S1 is in finance clerks
And we're my best friends too
Because I spoke their language
And we've talked about this
You know when you're in the S shops
There's like
There's an S shop language too
And you understand emotions
And things that
It's different up there at that level
And so I was
After being one of them
Besides the fact that I could correct them
Was also the fact that I understood them
You know it's like
I know what you guys do
I know what you guys are also going through
And I can
I can either be your worst enemy
Or your best friend
So how are we going to do this
Yeah it's the
It's a difference maker
You said it before right
Like there's a lady at fifth group
Who's been at fifth group for her entire life
She's the receptionist for the group commander
And everybody likes to kind of like
Oh she's being
She's not giving me the calendar
Of the commander or this or that
And it's like
No no no
You hand Ms. Joyce flowers
Ms. Joyce
You hand Ms. Joyce flowers
You hand Ms. Joyce Valentine's Day
That's mom
Yeah that's mom
Same with like your staff shop
Like everybody wants to come in
And shit down the throat of the admin people
But then the one guy who does come in
It's like hey guys what's up
They're like
They move heaven and earth for you
All of a sudden
Oh your computer's fixed today
Oh the
Yes
Your paperwork is done over lunch
And it's beautiful
And it's like because you're the only person
That went in there
Yeah
With a smile on your face
It's odd that we even bring that up right now
Because I just
I think it was yesterday
Or the day before
I got this friend request on
On Facebook
From a female
Last name Sullivan
I'm like Sullivan
And I look
Originally when I saw the picture
It was her and a guy who was a pilot
And I think her first name is Jordan
Sullivan I think
But I'm like
Who is she
And why am I getting a friend request
From her and her pilot
And I started scrolling through
Before I agreed to accept the friend request
I started scrolling through
And I'm like
And I realized it wasn't him
It was her that had sent me the friend request
And I looked at her
And all of a sudden I saw her in a uniform
And I go
That's Lieutenant Sullivan
Lieutenant Sullivan
Was actually working at the group S1 shop
Yeah
And you should remember her
Right
Because
She actually filled in
So when the group S1
Actual went overseas
She stepped in
And filled his role
She filled a major slot
Yeah
She's a Lieutenant
Filling a major
Like an O2
Filling a freaking O4
O4 spot
And she's killing it
And so
Lieutenant Sullivan
And I always talked
Because I'm always in the group command
And talking to people
And it was because I understood
I understood S1
I spoke S1
And then was also
You know one of the things where
She was one of the
The major players in getting you
Out of the Hunter and First
And over to Fist Special Forces group
Yeah
And so and I realized it was her
And I remember her talking about her
Her Warren Officer
Which was also
I know another connection that we had
Was that her husband was a Warren Officer
Flyboy
Okay
Flyboy
Warren Officer
We won't go down that road just yet
But you know she
I remember her being pregnant
Up there
Up that group
And boy she was pregnant pregnant
Like you know we're talking
Third trimester
And we're still doing her
Killing it up there
At group
I mean they had to drag her out
With a
A freaking tow truck
To go have her baby
She was awesome
She
Yeah she was
When I dropped my packet
To come over there
She was like
Yeah you're the only intel officer
With a combat deployment
Who applied
And I was like
Yeah
That's really strange
And she's like
You got time to talk
I was like
Actually no
And she's like why
And I'm like
Because I'm literally about to get
Out of helicopter
And go to a mission
And she's like
Oh you're still over there
I'm like
Yeah I'm still here
I was like
I'm about to come back
And not be an Hunter
And first
But
She was really nice
Yeah she was fantastic
Yep
Yeah so that
You did the S1 thing
For like
Whatever year it is
And then
No about a year and a half
About a year and a half
And then
So
As a reservist
I was still
Working in the
In the civilian sector
Going to my reserves
And
I got with your mom
And we talked
We had a baby
Your sister Erika
And we
The discussion was
Like look
We need a better opportunity
Let's
Go in the military
There's better opportunities
For the medical
There's better opportunities
For our life
Let's
You know
I'm going to go
Act of duty
And the decision was made
Go
Go act of duty
And went back to
You know
Maps again
Just
You know
They're like
They keep looking at my GT scores
And they're like
What do you
You just want to be a cat
You know
Somebody hard charged
And like yeah
You know
They were offering me everything
It's like
You want to be on a nuclear weapon
Or you know
I just want
I want to go
Run through the trees
And everything else
And if I'm not color blind
This time
I would really like to go do that
You know
You know
One of the things I was
You know
Well here's
Here's the sidebar on that
As well as at that
The 817th hospital EVAC
Which was the reserve unit
That I was assigned to
You know
And
Just amazing NCOs
At that unit
That
Just further
You know
Magnified everything
That I had learned
As a 71 Lima
But
You know
I go into
I go to
The next MEPs day
I check with
The medical section there
And I was not color blind
And then I go
And did the
Went to MEPs
And this time
Lo and behold
You know
They sell me on this
I'm not color blind
And they sell me
On this cab scout
You know
I'm wanting to be
Infantry
I want to go
Ranger
I want to go
They're like
Oh
Cab scout
Closest thing to Ranger
Without actually being a ranger
Plus
Beautiful
And if you
If you ever get a chance
To see the old
1980s
Cab scout
Selling video
It's
Man
You're just like
Wow
I'm going to be
Like SF on Roids
Here
Yeah
But no
No
I got to find it
Because if I can
That's a
Later is that
Like
35 years later
You'd look at that
With a beer in your hand
And go
Motherfucker
No
You guys
I didn't ruin my life at all
But talk about
Cherry picking
Visual concepts
Yeah
I mean
This was like
A 30 second inspirational video
It's like
You're a den
You get done watching that
You're just like
Waving a flag
I'm America
Yeah
And
I got to say
Becoming a 19 delta
Was amazing
So
A couple different stories
There
So number one
Is I go to
Fort Knox
And while I'm there
I go to Fort Knox
My
They got this new thing
Coming through
Called the Bradley
Finding Vehicle
That tells you how old
I am
That the Bradley
Fighting Vehicle
Was new at that time
You know
I don't even know
What vehicle iteration
Run now
For everything that's
Out there
But
The Bradley
Fighting Vehicle
They had two versions
They had the
Infantry
Fighting Vehicle
And the
CSB
Or the
Cavalry
Fighting Vehicles
And
This added
An extra three
Or four weeks
Of extra training
On my Cav time
And so
I'm
Climbing all over
This new guy
Meanwhile
Everybody else
Who didn't get
Assigned
The new
Delta 3 training
They're out there
Running around
In the old
113s
Or the
Flat tops
Vietnam level
Shit
So I go through that
And then
I graduate
Go down
To my contract
Go to Airborne school
And when you get done
With Airborne school
I was
Airborne unassigned
19 Delta
Airborne unassigned
And I'm thinking
Alright
There's only two
Unison out there
That have
Airborne scouts
82nd Airborne
Over and for
Breck
And
Italy
They had scouts
Over there too
And the
82nd had
The best
Cavalry
Like Airborne
They dropped
You know
I mean
By God
I'm a
I'm a
19 Delta Airborne
Cav Scout
I am going to
For Breck
I find this
Very funny
Because I didn't know
You went to
Airborne school
Before
Like
Before selection
And I remember
Very, very
A life changing
Discussion
Slash
Debate
You and I had
Was like
You wanted me
To become
An intel officer
And I wanted to be
An Airborne school
Why can't I go be
A Cav Scout
Like you
Like go be a Cav Scout
For the 82nd
Or the 173rd
And you
This is the first time
I've ever heard this
By the way
Because
Really?
Yeah
No
I thought you
Went to Airborne school
After SFAS
And
For the
Listeners out there
When I was a cadet
We had this discussion
Because he's like
The only people that
Leave the wire
Are aviation
Intelligence people
And special forces
I wanted to be
A pathfinder
I wanted to be
A long range
Reconnaissance
Paratrooper
And stuff like that
Yup
You motherfucker
You motherfucker
I wanted it so bad
And you were like
Put MI
And so I put intel
As my number one choice
And then
Number two I was like
Fucking Cav Scout
I swear to God
If I get there first
Like
Anyway
I didn't know
Yeah
Yeah
But you know
Now you even know
The difference there too
So
Now
I look at my orders
And it says
29th
Tree division
And then it said
Fort Benning
Unassigned
I'm like
What?
Or not
It wasn't even 29th
It was Fort Benning
Unassigned
And I'm like
Alright
This is weird
I'm actually staying
Here in Fort Benning
And one
Of my buddies
Had a car there
And we actually
Went in and drove
All around Fort Benning
There was only
One unit in
Fort Benning
Bradley's
And that was the
29th infantry division
Again
Not knowing anything
About the units
At Fort Benning
There were two units there
Or three units
You had the
Rangers
You had 29th
Infantry division
And then you had
197th Infantry Brigade
197th Infantry Brigade
Had flat tops
Everywhere
29th Infantry
Had
Bradley fighting vehicles
And then
You had the
Ranger battalion
Over there
And so it's like
Alright
So this makes sense
We're Delta 3
Bradley qualified
KF Scouts
Going to the 29th
Infantry Division
Finally get
I'm in processing
Fort Benning
No, no
197th Infantry Brigade
Like
What?
Yeah
Are they getting Bradley?
You know
Am I missing something here?
So I've got
All this additional training
I'm Airborne Qualified
Delta 3 Qualified
And here I am
The unit
And I'm in a flat top
Central
You know
There's nothing about
113s
And what
The other thing
That they had
It's at the hammer
The old hammer heads
Where it fired
Twin toes on top of it
That came up like a hammer head
And it would fire
On top of that
That's
The Scalpatoon I get assigned to
Has three flat top 113s
Vietnam A2s
Which are just
One level above
What they had in Vietnam
And we had
The ITVs
See, you know
The hammer heads
Yeah
This
Like, wow
Talk about
You know
And this is where I learned
That the military will do that
They will train you
And then throw you
To this level
And then throw you
And something down here
And you're like
But I'm one of the few
That's actually trained
To do that
Okay
Then they'll take some idiot
Who has no training
In any of that
Send him to that unit
And they'll bring him up to there
It's like
But I'm already there
Send him
Well, the 29th Infantry Division
Their job there
On forebending
Was the assistant training
Unit
For
They were the ones
That did all the training
For the infantry units
That were there
They were
Some were instructors
Some were just support assets to it
And the 197th Infantry Brigade
Is like
Who the hell is the 197th
They were
They were nobody
They were like
They were
It was actually the
197th Infantry Brigade
Separate
They were
They were not assigned
Any additional division
They were just
The 197th
We were
I mean
If there was a shit job
On forebending
We got it
Like, if they needed
Additional people
Not
Not the instructors
Not the people
Who were designed to support
The schools
On forebending
They were like
We got taskers
All the time to go out
And help
The training
Because nobody
Knew what the hell to do
With us
We were just this
Random brigade
And middle of nowhere
But
The
Scalpatoon
So I was in a
Scalpatoon
In an infantry battalion
The NCOs
That we had
In that unit
We're like
The Ambassador children
Of the entire battalion
In a 19 series
In an 11 series
Battalion
And there's only one platoon
Of us
But the NCOs
That I had there
Were amazing
Like we're talking
You know
They were NCOs
Who had gone to Korea
And been on the border
In Korea
They were from
11th ACR
Over in Germany
3rd ACR
Over in Germany
And this is
We're talking
Before 1990
In the fall
The wall
And everything like that
And so
You know
When you're talking
Cavalry
Like these are the guys
That went overseas
And that was the other part
Of the rotation
Out of Fort Benning
Like if you went to 197
You were going to go to Korea
Or you were going to go to Germany
And these were
Very real missions
Over there
In Germany
And in Korea
It's like
The bad guy is just
Right there
And
Got nuclear weapons
And the Russian Horde
And everything was
Very, very real back then
And so
You know
It came to
You know
Teaching us
Our 19 Delta
Series tasks
And ingraining us
You know
What we were supposed to do
And like
We knew
Like the 197
Did have a mission
And was to go over
And be a support
In Germany
And
We're going to die
You know
We are
We
You know
What's the word?
Dip
Die in place
Was our scout mission
You knew
As a scout
Like if we were going
To go over
And fold a gap
Or somewhere over there
One of the gaps
That the Russian Horde
Was going to come through
And we're going to
Be on the sides of these hills
We're going to get put in place
And essentially
All we were was a trip wire
You know
When the Russian Horde
Came south
And they started going
In Germany
And going through Europe
And all that other stuff
They were going to go through
These specific locations
And as they went through
There was going to be
19 Delta's on the hill
Saying
Okay
You know
This is the
Or this is the
The way they're arranged
As far as their
To a front
One in the back
And that's it
And then the artillery
That the Russian
We all knew that the Russians
Were going to do
Is the flanks
Were going to get
Chemicaled, artillery
Everything
Everything on the side
Of where the Russian Horde
Was going to go through
Was going to be flat earth
Okay
And we were going to be
You know
And we
We lived
You know
For the whole time
That the spirit of our thought
Process was
We are going to die
There was no
In our
No
No
In addition
The best we possibly could
Success for us
Was sitting there
Getting off that
Radio call
Right before we died
And saying
This is the way that
The Russians are arranged
And we might just be
Able to stop them
Because we're saying
They're one
Forward, two
Back or two
Forward, one
Back
And that's it
That was
That was
That was
Success
You know
Your flags
Everywhere
You know
Taps
And everything
The possible task
In the 19 series
And the
As a 19 series scout
You know
We got so much crap
From all the 11 series
The infantry guys
But then one day
We just
You know
I had a great NCO
And he goes
Hold up
They used to have
The task books
By MOS
There were
These books
They had all your
Tasks for an MOS
They said
I tell you what
Go get all your
11 series tasks
And so there's like
You know
Level three books
Level one, level two
Level three books
And they were about that high
Stacked
They go
Alright cool
Go get the engineers
Level one, two
And three tasks
So they went over and got to
The 12 series tasks
And they stacked them
On top of it
That's cool
Now
Go get
The
Go get some
Armor guys
At task books
Go get some
Artillery guys
Or the call for fire
And all those other
The
The forward observers books
And they stack them all up
And they're about this high
Everybody else's are this high
And they're right about even
And they're like
It's like
This is what you get
When you get a calf scout
You know
He's
He's prepared to put in a
Mindfield
He's prepared to do a route
Reconnaissance
He's prepared to do infantry
Tasks
He's prepared to
You know
To clear trenches
He's
He's also a forward
Observer
And
Yeah
There are 19 deltas
It absolutely sucked
To being four observers
But again
When you got guys
They're like
You know
From Germany and Korea
Where their lives depend on
Being able to call
Decent for fire missions
You know
Like if we weren't doing
Anything
We'd go up there to the TV
Room and our NCOs
Would have us
All right
Lay in a
Mindfield
You know
All this other stuff
Just you know
Call for fire
Here's a tank
Bring
Scunning down on it
From
You know heaven
From artillery
From a mortar
And
Just that
And then
You know
Of course
All the NTCs
And getting beat down
And rushing forward
And all that other stuff
Along comes
Desert Shield
Desert Storm
This is where things got
Interesting for our unit
So
Everybody said
Saddam comes south
Goes into Kuwait
Starts taking stuff over
Everybody's getting ready
To go over
Oh by the way
Yeah
Everybody's getting ready
To go overseas
We're watching
80 seconds
First ones to roll out
They're over there
Crying because
They knew it
They were just a speed bump
That
Right
So it's like
Right
Right
So they're out there
It's like 80 seconds
Like they get them over there
Because they were the first ones
To get in there
They're a speed bump
They're like
All right
They're screaming
We need armor
And so the first armor
The first division
That they sent over there
You know
Because Germany still had
Germany going on
Korea still had
Korea going on
They call out
The one division
That's
Mechanized
They go rolling over there
Now they had a
The 48th National Guard
Was their round out brigade
So they had two
Active duty brigades
And one
Round out brigade
Which was a National Guard unit
And they had to be validated
Prior to going over there
So they took their
Quick cut
Kicked everybody else
Out of NTC
Took the 48th National Guard
Ran them over to NTC
And said
All right guys
Let's see what you guys
Can do
And they
They were
And they immediately
Oh god
We have a problem
It's like
We need a brigade now
To go with the 24th ID
And so they
Just so happened
Right there in Fort Benning
Was a separate brigade
The 197th Infantry Brigade
And so we became
They reflagged us
As the third brigade
24th ID
We went through a
Reflagging ceremony
And like the next week
Boom
We're gone
I had been
I had been in Georgia
Let me see
Probably
About two and a half years
At Fort Benning
You know
Going through all of our training
Everything
Prior to going over to
The Gulf War
And
Again
That same mentality
The dynamic place
Mentality
The speed bump
And again
As early as we first
Got over there
Into Saudi Arabia
It's like
We were the
Additional speed bump
We were the
We were the
Our portion
Now here we are
Fort Benning
24th ID
Which has M1s
M1A1s
And
Bradley's
And here we are
You know
We're the little brother
Coming up in 1, 1, 3
Hi
Hey man
What's up
We're with you guys
The fuck is that
Like
Who brought in the
Vietnam team here
Yeah
We're like
Please God
This has got to
Work out some
Awesome way
It's funny
The quality of soldier
Is different
Because there's just
There's no technology
Right
Like you're saying
Like the Cav Scouts
Got to be able to do
All these fucking things
And it's because
There's no drones
There's no cyber
There's no intel
There's nothing
And I mean
We
We got our GPSs
Over there
We were in
We were in Saudi Arabia
I think
Around
November
We got the
The green
They looked like a sandwich
They were the green
Trimble
GPSs
Which were
Analog as analog gets
I mean
There was like
A digital screen face
When I say digital
It looked like the old
Scout calculators
With the
It took like six dots
To make a number
Four or something like that
You know
On the face
They had a toggle switch
On there
It was just this little thing
You would click on the outside
Those who
Those who know who
Remember the old
Trimble packs
And again
It's worth looking up
If you want to see it
It was a GPS
Which had to have
The wire to
A separate
Anten amount
Which had to have
Clear observation
To this guy
The antenna
The antenna ray
On this thing
Was like a box
About this big
And it had to have
We had to create a special
Thing
Arm on the 113
For it to sit on
And nobody could hit it
Otherwise it would
Take everything off
And the only thing
Would tell you
Was your ten digit location
It didn't
You didn't have a map on it
It was just
I mean
A grid
You know
We only had
Maybe eight, nine
Satellites up there
Flying around at the time
So your location
And it fluctuated
Between maybe
And possibly
So
You know
We went from reading maps
In the desert
In the Saudi desert
To finally having
A GPS
If you
Put in a location
If you pumped it
You know
Click, click, click, click
In your ten digit grid
Where you want to go to
It would give you
Like this
A knife
You had
You had straight up
This or the
You know
There were only like
It just kind of
Gave you like an arrow
Right, right
An arrow was like
That way
It goes straight
And
It was awful
You know
It might be able to get you
Within 50 meters
Of your spot
Which is
In the desert is amazing
You know
It's like
Alright, we're close
So that's how
That's how
We're doing basics
That was basics
We got the Mark 19
Over there
That was like
You know
One of the things
That they pushed forward
Was the Mark 19
We went through
Mark 19 training
We got this GPS
We
We refitted
Our 113s
Because they took away
We were three ITVs
And three 113s
They took out the
Three ITVs
They gave us
Three other flat tops
So we had six flat tops
And we
They re-rigged
These things
So that we could have
Three main guns
One 113s
Jesus Christ
Right
So you could have
The situation was
You either a
Mark 19
With two 50 cals
And an M60
Off the back deck
But you
We just looked
Like this
This porcupine
Of 113s
With guns
Like
I couldn't
We drilled holes
In the 113s
To mount
The 50 cals
And this is
There were no chicken plates
There were no nothing
Out there with a 50 cal
And the flat
Yeah
You're just laying on top
Just laying down
Hate
No
You're sitting
You're in the back hatch
So
Well the other two guns
The ones on the corners
Uh
They were actually
Not on the
They were on the corners
But facing to the
45 front
So you had the
Whoa
And the other two
Which faced out
To what was
You know operated
By the two guys
We had
We had to get extra guys
In the back of the 113
So we brought
Four infantry guys
With us
And we put them into
The 113s
And so they would
The
On the back hatch
There would be a guy
With the M60 facing
Backwards
With the M60
So
350s
Facing forward
One facing back
Or one
M60 facing back
Or mark 19
Is the main gun
Which
And
250 cals
And then
The M60
It was
It was
Awful
It was
We were standing
With our hands
And cans
And ammunition
And explosives
That's
Please
That was your
Please
Yeah
If something
Had hit us
It would have been
Just a vapor
Nothing
Would have been left
Nothing
Nothing identifiable
As even a vehicle
People are
Guns
Or anything
Just
A green
Metal
Aluminum
Explosion
Mist
Thankfully it never
Happened
But that was awful
It was
I mean
The guys in the back
Were standing
In the back
Waste high
Because like
On the thing like this
You know
With their belly
From their waist
Up
Exposed
Because they're standing
On top of stuff
Jesus Christ
Yeah
We
Oh no
Man
Nobody even thought
Chicken plate
Or anything like that
This is how we die
Body armor
There was no body armor
Back then either
Back then too
So that was another
You know
Experience
Just wonderful
You know
But really great
You know
And we had already accepted too
We were already
Like dying place
You know
And then
The order comes
Like we're going across the border
We were
The
When we eventually
Went across the border
Into Iraq
And we did the
The actual
The Gulf War
Invasion
When we went to
Desert Storm
We were on
The far
The
The swing
Which put us
Right next to
The Hundred and First
And the Hundred and First
Was the one that was doing
Those bounding movements up
But because the Hundred and First
Could bound so far forward
In one quick leap
With their
Their unit
The night before
Everything really kicked off
They said
Alright
We need
Everybody on the left
To kick forward
Across the border
About
20 miles
So before
The war
Even gets going
Before everybody else
Knew that
We were going to
Invade Iraq
We were already
20 miles
Into Iraq
Okay
To make up for the time
Different
You've mentioned this before
Where it's like
At the farther away
You are
The more you ground
You have to cover
Because it's like
The door swings
So you're
Haul and ass
If it swings like this
If it swings like this
This group right here
Is only got to go this far
This group's got to go
Ah
They're screaming
Across the desert
Trying to make ends meet
The outer outer part
Is 101st
And they're just like
Oh, no problem
No problem
They're just jumping forward
Jump through the helicopters
Oh yeah
Yep
Yep
Amazing
Just
Eye-opening experience
Into
You know
You go from
Not knowing war
To knowing war
In such a short
Or
That
That was like
You know
That's also
You know
It's one of the
One of the major reasons
I have to get therapy
Is you know
To get away from
The border
All the way up to the highway
Of death
And then we came back down
The highway of death
To come back into
Kuwait
And go back to Saudi Arabia
And then actually leave
So
We saw it all
You know
From the gunfights
To the
To the death
To the crispy critters
To the
You know
You know
Vehicles just on fire
You know
The surrendering
And it's just
Insane
You know
Just how
You can go from
Being this kid on the streets
And thinking
You know what's going on
In the world
To suddenly
War
Yeah
And not just like
Not like the war I experienced
Where it was like
Very small
Pocketed
This is
Because you've talked about
Like your first firefight
With like
Iraqi tanks
And I'm like
Do you
Like
That's something
That's a
And we've talked about this
Where you're like
Guys will sit there
And they'll come from
The regular military
They'll come into special forces
And be like
I know
I know what a firefight is
And then they go
Hey chief
Come here
And you walk in
And they're like
You're a tank company before
Like
No
No
Yeah
Yeah
No
There's no
That's
That's open scale warfare
And there's no
Harrison
And
You know
Thankfully
Nobody's had to
I think the only time
Anybody even came close
To this was over there
In Syria
When the
Well
I'm sure during the
I'm not going to take anything
Away from anybody else
Like during desert
During
The Gulf
Not the Gulf
But the Iraq invasion
And stuff like that
Those guys saw some
Yeah
And stuff
They got into some stuff
They got into some really
Crazy, crazy stuff
But
You know
We're talking
That level of ground
Scale warfare
That we saw during the
Gulf War
You're talking
That hasn't been seen
Since like
Not in Vietnam
Not in Korea
That hasn't been done
And they did it
And then
You know
Backward study
And everything
You look at the generals
And the way they thought
And the way they acted
And you look at the
The battles
And you're like
Wow
That was all
Our entire success was based
Off of
Our experiences at NTC
And the fact that
We just got wholesale beat
Down at NTC
And just shamed
By the Russian
Hordes at NTC
It's like
These guys
When we went against the
Iraqis
It was so
Matched
That
You know
They
I mean
We're out there
Using GPS's
And the triple guns
And the Mark 19s
And everything else
Like that
And these guys
They were like
It must have been
Like a Boy Scout
Trip going to NTC
Because we just
Beat
And we were like
Angry about it too
It's like
No
Fuck you
You know
We were
The people that
We had trained against
At NTC
You know
These guys
We just
Routed them
You know
Wholesale
Spanked them
So they were
At the time
You know
They were like
The number seventh
Ranked military
In the world
And I think
We knocked them down
To number 15
After we left
For one
Like
That's something
When you take somebody's
Entire military
And you turn
You lost
So many positions
In one fight
Dude
In less than 100 hours
We took
Scaled your
Entire military
Outlook
We changed
The geography
Of your art
Yeah
We changed everything
It's like
You guys were
You know
A contender
You guys
Aren't even
That anymore
So
Yeah
So you
Get done
You get your
You know
Your taste
Of first
Combat
And you've got
Right
And it's funny
Because
For those
Combat patches
Handed out
At like
One station
Unit training
For drill sergeants
So like
I'll see that patch
Like I grew up seeing
You with that patch as a kid
I remember
Being in the army
Going to
Airborne school
And seeing
A drill sergeant
With that patch
I'm like
What the fuck is that
And then I remember
And I was like
That unit isn't
Even a combat unit anymore
It's a fighting unit
That they
Designated
I'm like
And so like
I've always thought
On the wrong side, man
Like
No, it's not
No, it's not
Yeah
We got done with
When we got back
They gave us the option
To
Where either
The 197th Infantry Brigade
Patches
Or Combat Patch
Or the Terraleaf
The 24th ID
Patch
We could
Either or
We could
Our choice to pick from
It all depends
How we felt
And most of us
Went with the
197th
Eventually
They made us change it
To the 24th ID
But for the longest time
You sent us to war
In flat tops
While you guys
Reigned around at
Bradley's
Fuck you
Yep
Thank you
Yep
So you get done
And then
The famous
My
My platoon sergeant
Or my squad leader
Is a fucking idiot
I can do better
Than this story
Oh yeah
Yeah
So
We get back
You know
I made it to
Specialists
At that point
And
This was
In 1991
After we
Get back from the Gulf War
And
We had
So we get this NCO
And
He comes in
And he's
You know
He's an E5
The buck sergeant
And he's just
Talking smack
To everybody
Da-da-da-da-da
You know
He was over there
I think with like
The first armored
Or something like that
And
He's just talking about how
It's like
On an NCO
It's like
And he started bragging
About having a 62
GT score
And I'm like
What?
Like we
After he started bragging
About that
We started calling
His nickname was GT
Absolutely
And I was like
This guy
And then we would go out
And do some platoon training
Because we were now
A lot more serious
Than we used to be
And we'd do platoon training
Like some of the things
That happened out there
In the field
We just
I looked around
I'm like
I'm going to die
You know
I've been to combat
I know what's expected of us
I know what's going to happen
This guy's going to get me
Killed
Fair
Fair and square
And
I can't
He outranks me
It's like
It wasn't a good time
It was not a good time
To be there
And
The professionalism
Of the guys
The NCOs
That had been there
Was leaving
The professionalism
Of the soldiers
That we had
At the junior level
Was amazing
And we got this oddity
Then
And it just started
Perpetuating
We started getting more
Like that
I was like
Okay
Something's happening here
I went to PLDC
Which was
The very basic
NCO course
At the time
Got undergrad
Leadership award
And this is
You know
Competing against
The rest of Fort Benning
To include the Rangers
Come back
They promote me to corporal
And
I got my NCO
Shortly
I got my E5
Shortly after that
And I had been reading
I had been reading books
On SF
All this time
And I said
You know what
This is 92
And
I make the
I make the career choice
Like I'm going to go to selection
You know
And I will tell you
I was very
Prepared
For selection
Physical wise
The amount of 12-mile
Ruck marches
We did
The fact
We're required to do it
In three hours or less
Really made a deal
The rucks that we carried
The PT that we did
As a scout platoon
Was very
It was ideal
You know
It set me up just right
For to go to selection
And I went to
To selection
In 92
Early in 92
I think it was like
March or April of 92
And
That was
It was very
It taught me
So much about myself
More than
You know
And not going to lie
It's like there were
You know
You'd get done with the day
And you're sitting there
You're thinking yourself
And people say this
Like you know
I'm going to quit
And Gaggins books covers
All these things
Very in depth
But
I don't know
Whether it was just
Fortitude or just being lazy
Like I feel like
I think I'm going to quit
You know
It's like this is really really hard
But nobody's ever given me
Any bad feedback
That's the one thing about
Selection is like
You go through all these events
And you never get feedback
It's like
You know
You do your runs
You know
I'm in the top third
On everything that I'm finishing
You know
For the runs
And for the rucks
And for the land naves
And stuff
And
You're not getting any feedback
There's no positive
There's no negative feedback
And you just start
Assessing yourself
And you're like
Man
It's like
I just
I don't feel like I'm doing
And it's like
Man
I'm really tired
I'm hurt
I'm
You know
My ankle's swollen
It's like
I don't know what the hell
I did to my ankle there
Like I had to
I had the old jungle boots
I had to actually
Cut the back strap
On my jungle boots
And actually
Every morning
I would have to
Retape my jungle boot
Around the swelling
In my ankle
And at night
You know
You go to bed
And you're only going to get
When they tell you to fall asleep
And when they tell you
You can go to sleep
And you wake up
When they tell you to wake up
You're only getting four hours
That's it
And in between there
Everybody in the
In the hooch has to pull
Fireguard
And the more
I keep leaving your hooch
The more time you get
On your fire guard
So you go
It's like a 15-minute fire guard
I mean
Most people
If you've ever been through
Any sort of a fire guard
You're not a special force
It's like one or two hours
A fire watch
Like you got 15 minutes
And all it is
You sit around
You know
You wake up the guy next to you
But you're bad
I will tell you
If you sit in that bed
For that 15 minutes
Boy, you will be asleep
The biggest thing I would do
Is like I'd get up
Sit in my 15 minutes
Wait for the next guy
Go to the bathroom
And then go back to bed
But the whole time
You're talking to yourself
Like man
It's like I
You know
I want to quit
And then the next morning
Like nah
I'm not going to quit today
Because I've already woke up
You know
I'm here
Right
And then eventually
It got into my mind
It's like no
I'm not taking myself out
They're going to have to kick me out
If I mess up
You're going to have to pull me out
And you get to the end
And you're like
Okay nobody pulled me out
And then you get selected
And you're like
Oh shit
Yeah
Oh it's done shit
Yeah
And it becomes
An all heart issue
It's not a
You could go there
And I've realized
That you could go there
In mediocre shape
But if you got the heart
And the mentality
To
And this was something
That was just
Driven into me
As I was growing up
It's like
Just keep going
Keep going
Just keep going
Keep going
And then
It's just
I don't know
It's like
A level of Jewish religion
Of just keep going through the
Desert
Man
We're just going to keep going
Forward
Just
Just keep moving forward
No matter what
Just keep going
Keep going
And no matter how
Even if
You only get an inch today
Just keep going
And that's
That's what eventually became
Around the end of SF
It's just
The selection
It's just like
No, just keep going
You know
I'm going to run down this hill
And I'm going to
Speedwalk up that hill
And I'm like
And you start
Looking at the people around you
And they start
Pumping you up
And you
You could see it
And I could
I could tell you
About
Probably about a
A third of the way into
Selection
I could tell you
Looking at somebody
That they were going to quit
Because you could
You
You can try to save them
But the
Language that they use
The way they appear
Their shoulders
Their eyes
Their everything
They're defeated
They've
Committed to it
And
I think one of the
Best stories I've ever heard
Actually came from
One of the guys who
Who went back
Who got selected
To go back
And work there
At Selection Committee
As an NCO there
Is he had
A guy
Come to him one night
And this was
Just on a whim that he had
And the guy came to him
And he was going to quit
And he goes
I want to quit
And he goes
You can't quit
Unless you can get
You've got to bring a buddy
With you to quit
The guy
Back to his hooch
Talked to somebody
Who he knew
And he talked him into
Quitting
And the next thing
He noticed
He got two guys in front
And was like
We want to quit
He's
What?
That definitely worked
And if
Sure shit
Kid came back
With another kid
And he's like
He knew exactly who
He was going to go
Back
There were
There were some nights
You'd wake up
It was like a total shock
You'd wake up in the morning
There'd be like two less people
In your
In your little area
I was like
What the hell are so
All their shit's gone
They left in the middle of the night
They did their bit of fire guard
They didn't go to the bathroom
And come back and go to bed
They did their bit of fire guard
Because they were still going to be a buddy
They weren't going to screw
Anybody over that
And I do my fire guard
And I quit right after
They grab their shit
And go over to the hooch
And quit
And you're gone the next morning
Yeah
Hell
I've had a couple L.T. buddies
Tell me that
Like grab a kid who they know
Is about to quit
And they'll just like
At ranger school
And they'll tell them
Like hey motherfucker
Get to dinner
Then quit
And it's like why
Because I want your fucking dinner
Like fucking
Yeah
I want your M.R.E.
Like
Get your M.R.E.
And then quit motherfucker
Like
There was this celebrity
Special forces show
You get a chance to watch it
It's like a one season deal
With ten episodes
And they've got these celebrities
Football players
Baseball players
Models
People
Bachelorette
All those other
That go through it
And you can watch
If you watch the celebrities
You can see
And you listen to them talk
You're like
He's going to quit
It's going to happen
If not today
It's going to come
You can hear it in their conversations
Their internal conversations
With themselves
And then they slightly
Leak it out to other people
It's like
You know I just don't think
I'm doing that good
You know
I've got
I'm really worried about my kids
It's day two
He's been gone
It's like
I'm really worried about my kids
Well he failed an event
The day before
I'm really worried about my kids
I think they need me
I don't think I need to be doing this
It's only ten days dude
That was a ten day selection
According to the ten episodes
Ten days
Ours was three weeks
You know
And these guys are quitting
Day two
And it's like
Yeah people quit
Day two
And that's the conversations
That you hear
It's
You know
There's a couple of medical drops
And those are
They're just as sad on that show
As they are in reality
In the real world selection
Where you've got a guy
Who's a stellar guy
And they get
A medical something happens
To them so bad
That they get taken out
And they're not
They're more than welcome
To come back
And you feel bad
Because now they got to come back
Through selection again
Yeah
Yeah
I was about to say
It's
For those that
I've never been
I made the conscious decision
Not to go
But it
Yeah
I understand what you mean
By self talk
Especially like you find that
On deployments
Yes
We worked with everybody
Over there
And so it's like
You talk to SF
Or soft guys
And Air Force guys
Not so much
I'll dog them
Because they do have that
Like little bit of a
Negative Nancy in them
It's weird
But then like
You meet like a
Mars sock writer
Different mission
Different mission
They got it
But they're just ready to go
And they're happy
And they're every day
And so like
Even as like
Even as like a beat up
Intel guy
Where I'm dealing with
Like you know
Six PowerPoint presentations a day
We're doing hundreds of missions
People are dying
Getting blown up
And I'm getting yelled at
In this meeting
Like just a roller coaster
Of emotion
They didn't care
What kind of day I had
Or what was going on
Around me
They're just like
Hey Cody what's going on
Let's go get that brief
Let's go get the
The pre-reef started
And it's like
I'm sitting there
With my mac and cheese
Amaciated by 30 pounds
I'm like bro do I look
Like I'm having a good day
And they're like
But we are
Yep
Get the fuck out of my face
Yep
Yep
Yeah
But I think
I taught you kids this
I said you know
The definition of a good day
Is any day you're not getting
Shot at and people aren't
Going around you
It's a good day
You know
Everything's got to be
Scalable
And until you see
What level 10 is
You know level
If you're sitting there
30 pounds less
Eat mac and cheese
But nobody's dying
And nobody's shooting at you
And things aren't blowing up
Around you
It's a good day
Yeah
You get blown up
A couple of times
And you get shot at
The VA
The VA
Pays for it
For the rest of your life
That's how bad
The day it was
For me
It was
It was a bad day
That was right
Nobody was
When you do get shot at
And blown up
It is a pretty bad
Fucking day
Yeah
It's a bad fucking day
As soon as you're looking
At a casket
It's a bad day
And then
So let's move
Let's move forward on that
So I get done
With selection
They
I'm thinking to myself
Maybe now
I put this down
As my primary
MOS request
You get to request
Your 18 series
And I'm like
18 Charlie
I want to be an engineer
I'm finally going to be
An engineer
The five
Five years into
Into the army
And I'm finally going to get
A chance to be an engineer
And that 129 GT
Score came in
Medic
I was like
Fuck
Shit
It's like
Medic
Then they sent me down
So I get back
I'll process
Benning
Go down to
San Antonio
Because that's when
The med school used to be
For
SF
We go down to
San Antonio
And spend
About a year before
I was down there
In San Antonio
Down at the
The army med schools
Some great instruction
Down there too
And then we go back
To Fort Bragg
We go through
The actual
18 delta portion of it
Outside note
To that whole thing
Is
So I picked up
As you're looking at
My rank structure
As I go through
I went in
As a
What I've
As an
E5
Promotable
As I actually
Go
While
So
Actually
Sorry
I went in as an
E5
They
Ordered me to go through
The
Board
I got boarded
While I was in
San Antonio for
E6
As a 19 delta
Because they still
They still want to keep
You progressing
In your old
MOS
In case you
Fail out
You know
What they want you to do
Is spend
So long
As a
Go back
And now
You're behind
All your peers
Because
So I got
Boarded
While I was in
San Antonio
I get to
I go through
Med school
At Fort Bragg
And the
Same day
That I got
E6
As a
You know
When you
Became a
Green Beret
Back then
You got your
E6
The same day
I pinned
My
E6
Whether or not
I had become
An SF
Green Beret
I was an
E6
I was not an
SF
E6
You know
Where you
Suddenly get
Promoted to E6
For graduation
At the time
I was
Through 19
Delta
E6
At that point
In time
Too
So
Go through
That
Go through
All the
Field courses
And stuff
We're both
Yeah
Two of them were
Fifth group
One of them was
First group
And because
I was so familiar
With Desert Shield
Desert Storm
I was
Really familiar
With the desert
I wanted to go
And Fifth group
Was operating
In the desert
Their mission
Was the
Scud Hunt
Back then
You know
Long range
Reconnaissance
And that was
Every
19
Delta's dream
Fifth group was
Doing
I mean
That's what
They did
During desert
Shield
Desert storm
Like
I looked
At my instructor
Said
If you can
You know
When I
Realized
They told me
I had passed
They said
If you can
Recommend me
For Fifth group
And they
Recommend me
Fifth group
I get the
Arabic language
Weird
I didn't
This is
Ninety
Five
Graduated
Egyptian
With a
One plus
One plus
Was rocking
Just missed
Two two
Because I didn't
I didn't know
All my vegetables
In
Egyptian
Sorry
They confused me
When we were talking
About the garden
And that's when
The conversation
During the
Testing broke
Off
During my garden
I was like
Anyway
We go
About your
Egyptians
You need to go
Learn modern
Standard Arabic
I'm a
00 in modern
Standard Arabic
And you want me to go
Learn Egyptian
So
Great
Lovely
Anywho
That's
In Fifth group
Get there
Ninety five
Did
This is
Still
This is
Special Forces
Pre
Nine eleven
Yeah
Money
Uh
Fantastic
Level
NCOs
Um
That were there
I mean
Those guys
All of them
Just
You know
Legends
Still in my mind
The things that
The level of commitment
To the job
Despite
And if you
Have to go back
You know
We're still thinking
Um
You know
We still had
Trimbles
The team
Still had the
Trimble
GPS
That was
The communication systems
Were still
Pretty old
Um
The
Satellite
Satellite communication
Was just coming up
Uh
We're doing a lot of
HF
A lot of VHF
Um
We
You know
But
The level of
Medical
The medicine that
Was required
At that time
Was really
Pushed down low
Like
The 18
Delta
The requirements
For us to
Maintain
In-depth
Be able to
Operate completely
Separate of everybody
Nobody
There were no
ISR platforms
Or anything
That were going on
At that time
You had to know
Your job
Scud hunt
Was still huge
And so
The ability to
Live in a
Hole
You know
Covered over by
A net
Pissed in a trash bag
You know
Pissed and shit
In a trash bag
You know
10 days
Was the
Minimum training
The pressure
To be
Excellent
Was on us
Um
So
You said money
It kind of
Skipped out
But this is
What's funny
Is because
I remember
As a kid
Remember
The clay
Pink buildings
That you guys had
With the cargo
Right elevators
Playing around
In those halls
And stuff
For those
Who
Were not
In the army
Before 9-11
Like
Even looking back
As a kid
And then
Becoming an officer
Looking at
I cannot stress enough
How little money
Was put into
Special forces
Compared to now
Like you go
To a
Special forces group
Today
And it's like
Everybody wants to be
There
Everybody wants to go
There
Because just
The training
The equipment
Like each soldier
Has like
Each green beret
Or like
Support personnel
Like the
Soldier
You know
Shooting schools
All this
In the 90s
The most
None of that existed
No we didn't
You got the M4
The first
And I remember
You saying this
You're like
I got the M4
And I was like
Holy shit
There's a collapsible stock
Right
Right
Yeah we went from
Having a
Locked out
Stock to
A collapsible stock
And I thought
That was the coolest
Thing ever
We still care
Our
Green
The flap
Overcase
You had to
Unstrap it
The dummy
Cord from hell
On that thing
And we never
Drew out our
Nine mills either
We always kept those
Things separate
Those weren't even
A consideration
To carry around
On the regular
But
We
To give you
An idea
Of comparison
What's going on
In the civilian world
We didn't
Get a
Computer
Until our captain
Brought
One computer
To
And it had
Microsoft Word
On it
And we were like
This is awesome
Yeah
That's
That's our level of
It's like
Oh that's
F you guys got it all
Now we
You know
Microsoft Word
We can actually type it up
You know
This stupid printer
That you know
Was
All the paper
Is attached to itself
You have to
Separate the paper
People off the sides
And everything else of it
In order to turn it
And print everything
You know
Intriplicate
Using
Carbon
The da31
Your
Leave form
That was
Written
Okay
We had to
Fight for the
Carbon paper
To get our
Leave form in
As fast as we could
Because
Getting
Carbon paper
For the
Insert
In between
Your paper
Like
If we
Got carbon paper
Teams would
Horde
how bad it was like you can't even think these guys today they can't even fathom
and you know it's not about printers out of ink oh dear you know I think level
your your your Xerox whatever or not even Xerox or whatever the printer that's
you know the size of a fucking ice machine a Zamboni now that they got that
they can collate print and print books and stuff like that that every team room
has now we had one we had one of the one just horrible we were begging to
brown we hoard ourselves out for any dollars we could and only the best teams
got the best missions and if you got the best missions you got extra money for
your team like we like you would get a good mission and you get your team would
get a thousand bucks to go to go buy team equipment for your team room we're
you know one time we got $1500 we were excited beyond compare for 1500 bucks to
go buy equipment with oh god you know we buy our own t-shirts by like most of us
bought most of our own equipment at one point I remember you saying that when
you're in the medical course you guys sold blood plasma just to get like a
team yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah part of part of our like yeah yeah yeah dude you
had we were whores man we would we would whore ourselves out for anything for
money just for the team fun so we could buy team thing you had more you had more
money invested in your spear gear which is the gear that they give you when you
become an opera like when you become operational like if you're like support
personnel or green beret they give you a spear issue which is like all that high
end equipment it's like two for five grand or the shit yeah you had more in
that when you left than when you had in the teams like oh god yeah $1000 in a
trash bag yes yeah for 12 guys you know yeah yeah for 12 guys here's you know
you guys you guys did really good this year you are the number one team we're
gonna give you a trip overseas you're gonna go to Jordan and we're gonna give
you thousand dollars to spend on cool on cool gear but it still belong to the
team you actually had to be paperwork it down to the team but your team could
have a thousand dollars worth of extra gear what are you guys getting oh we
got mosquito nets we fucking mosquito nets they were right there at the
World War two level mosquito nets were like this huge purchase for us and then
you had to sign for your mosquito net Jesus Christ welcome to the team
here's your equipment here's a mosquito net
well you're caught oh thank you
yep and then again the the one the other things that were going on back then
that were different from now is the amount of autonomy that the teams had like
yeah they so the team was the team if whatever you saw out front was the
God's honest truth you told everybody in the back you know back in the rear what
you saw and it was for real nobody questioned that you know if you say
this commander is not working with me that commander is not working with you
nobody questioned it if you said the enemy is out front here nobody questioned
it if you say the temperature 70 degrees in this spot nobody questioned it and
it with the we were given like carte blanche to come up with ideas and we migrated from
doing the scud hunt where okay we're going to be in static positions out there in these holes
looking looking at these intersections looking for the scuds to becoming to thinking our way
through us and and we had this one war officer brady uh we used to call him king brady and
he between him and several of the other senior nco's came up with this idea of taking the
taking our vehicles that we assigned to a team and and instead of being static becoming mobile
with those vehicles moving them forward in a linear fashion across the desert hiding them
you know when we want to but most of the time you know moving forward and what you're doing is
if we it became instead of static hiding looking we became area denial which we'd roll through and
everything behind us was clear and we'd move forward and and be looking actively hunting the
scuts like why should we fear him you know we have the ability to talk to airplanes we have
the ability to bring scunning in from above on top of anything out here um and we became good at
that too that was another requirement of things that we had to train on was the amount it was
being able to control air and we we we moved forward with that that concept and we became really
really good with it we could clear you know space and then we even studied um the whole
concepts of scuds somebody it's like this is the target that we're looking for it's like you know
Saddam Hussein had I don't know 20 30 scud actual scud launchers but for every so many
launchers he had he had like a loader like if you for every for every three launchers you had
one loader and a fuel thing and now it's like do we need to take out the launchers or if you
take out the loader and the fuel thing you shut down the launchers you shut down four launchers
yeah right right so the then it became from all right never mind about just you know finding the
tell the launcher um find the launcher follow it wait for it to go back to the refueling point
where it gets the fuel and the loader and take out the loader the fueler and the launchers
simultaneously and you shut down not just one launcher but several launchers for that section
and that that would play a huge part for me later on in the intel world when we eventually get
later on into the the the the long-range uh war on terror uh iraq afghanistan and stuff like that
and we just see at the time that the managed to change the mission internally the way we did was
huge and that would eventually come into play in 2003 when fifth group came out swooping out of
jordan swung across iraq and completely denied the entire west side of iraq where Saddam was going
to push the missiles and launch them into israel and try to bring them into the war so it was it
all came from the fruits of the labor of all the all the the sf's guys at that time getting out of
those holes and becoming movement oriented and actually denying that type of going changing the
mission completely and and show what what we could do and and this is this is something that like
i i can't even imagine because when i was there with you we had the group commander
and oh six interviewing and talking to the team level like they no company commander coming to
brief brief the oh six no battalion commander coming to brief the oh six what his teams were doing
the group commander had a vtc talking to teams talking to the team leader what are you doing
what's going on out there right and it not not a group commander micromanaging company commanders
but individual odas like yes that's and then 30 years before you guys are out there like hey
we're changing the whole god i didn't even know i i'd never i'd yeah i'd never seen our group commander
no i i didn't even know my battalion commander that while i knew my company commander pretty decent
but i'd have no no we just didn't we didn't interact with them that much they didn't want to talk to us
say they had other missions to take care of us at that point that's that's a game changer yeah we
didn't you didn't just things that have changed over time and then so um moving forward continue
to move the the the ball down the field you get to 9 11 uh you know everything changed um
you know all of our planning for what we're doing in iraq changed and you get to 9 11 and
the the towers fall uh we all know what happened there you know you know if you were in a military
at all during 9 11 you saw that everybody saw the changes that happened uh money came out everywhere
you know at that point you know the and and uh our our kernel at the time um you know in conjunction
with the the the major leadership of the united states at that time uh decided to push this special
forces group forward and into uh afghanistan and together with the the northern alliance and everybody
that was over there um you know we we changed everything it was such a small footprint with
small risk to the united states uh we managed to push the town put the Taliban on the run put al-qaeda
on the run game changer game changer um and you know and and it would start there you know like
the again you go with the autonomy that we had then you know as a team you were thrown into
you were surrounded 360 when they threw us in afghanistan it's like you you went in um you had
two contacts a day yeah yeah we didn't have to maintain solid you know communications with anybody
you had your two mandatory shots a day uh you know morning and night back um
and that it's completely unheard of now you know you can't be a team out there and not have
a comm center running 24-7 you know talking back to the rear if is our platforms flying over your
head you know if you don't answer the phone now you know everybody loses their mind everything
okay about that end yeah i'm good uh you want to take a quick bathroom break and come back to it
yeah let's do that let's do this let's take about five right there this is like so we've talked about
like there's like this five-year period before 9-11 right um of just j-sets you guys are going over
there training kawaitis you guys are going up we're as as f units we're still doing uh ntc
rotations with regular units too as well okay and so like tons like 10 years 10 years of training
calf scout like you got calf scout experience 9-11 drops and this is this is kind of the funny
thing because everybody knows the horse soldiers nobody knows the toyota hilux soldiers and so
you you were one of the first teams in there yep and so this is this is my favorite thing because
i i met some of these afghans when i was over there and it was really really weird to me to meet
uh the the lion of pan shear his son we got to hear him talk and he was an american educated guy but
you yep explain because like i love the the g chief story 9-11 happens you're tagged one of the first
odas to go into country talk me through it because like shane shanes is a different story like shane
was one of the teams that went in too but it's like this is this is the this is zero hour like
this is d-day right and so how do you explain that uh all right so uh the way you're you're
if you look in the data um our the the oda that i was on at that time was uh five three two we were
assigned to poli comory um the g chief that we had over there um fantastic guy uh so he was
underneath uh dosa um he had grown up in afghanistan um he was sent to the united states
i think he went to the university of pittsburgh there's a great video out there um that
i'm trying to think of the name of that there's a the name of the video something like the the
lion of the um he's at the pan shear um can't remember the name of it i i've seen i've got to
find this yeah because he's yeah you can find the video easy enough he's riding the harley he's
right he's a harley rider he went to pittsburgh he he worked he like in for extra money he
worked at mcdonald's um like nobody's business um uh he the the warlord could damn or got
something like that as well um but he if you in the opening of the video you see him riding that
harley davidson uh the guy spoke perfect english uh fan just absolutely amazing guy to talk to uh
he's i think he's been in and out of afghanistan in various uh power positions over there since
we left uh but he was our g chief like i said underdosed him um he with uh we were just outside
of poli comory and our primary mission at that point in time was to break through the talban
lines and get a hold of poli comory uh which is a major uh line of communication uh city on
line of communication which uh goes around afghanistan it's especially coming out of the uh the
mountains there um very um and i will tell you you know in a amateur sort of mindset of war of
warfare at that level and the things that happen post post conflict during conflict and after
conflict was it was very very eye opening for me um so got along really really well um
we had zip when we got there we he had a small force which helped protect him inside his his
little valley there um we uh in in working with them we managed to develop develop it up to about
infantry battalion level strength you know with with supplies and equipment and uniforms
and eventually uh we would accompany them uh as they moved uh did their large-scale movement from
the location that they were at into poli comory um and like like i said the very very eye opening
and i encourage everybody to try to to listen to this part especially if you're you're dealing in
the conflicts that you're dealing with nowadays um and that is that everything is even though it
appeared like we're we're so used to okay bad guy good guy um it's we we that's the way we think
is that there's a bad guy good guy bad guy goes away good guy takes over it's all over you don't
think about okay um levels of good and bad and what their intentions are post conflict and
as we moved into poli comory uh we encountered another force that was in there in poli comory
and it started an all-day uh fight between forces over there to we were
unknowingly did not know that we were engaging another northern alliance force and if you watched
the horse soldiers the 12 the 12 strong uh you you saw a kind of a hint of what happened there
between dostam and uh i forget who the other general was at that time trying to get into
that one town and seeing who was going to get there first and so we were just at another
location where that was also occurring the only difference is we got into a fight
and at that same time the leader of the other northern alliance force was actually down in
kibble um and they were raising the flag at the us embassy in kibble uh they were right next to each
god damn it so we are bringing in planes we are dropping bombs on them they're shooting at us we
got tank rounds we've got it's a fight it's a it's a real fight okay right and and we're every
there's hell going on all around us it is you know it is tanks armored vehicles you know
and aircraft guns like i i had the anti-aircraft gun level at the top of the hill that i was on
you know exploding above us and raining down on top of us our people that we were supporting
and this general looks at our colonel and says hey america and afghanistan or he goes yeah no
duh he goes no no he goes the new afghan afghanistan and america or it's like your your planes are
bombing my people and he's like what a few phone calls later and we're like he's like look we're
going to put a stop to this i'm going to get my guys out all right hold the americans out of there
we'll get that other force in there because the other team had to get essentially the same team
but the other part of that team was actually in poli comory we were on going down in and did not
know and then it was explained to us the situation it's like well what do you want us to do you know
we're here with our our g chief he's trying to get there we had told you we were going there
you know you know news sudden news flash now here we are you know two green on green is what it was
and they got to get us out um and this guy wasn't about to let us go he was like hey i'm you know
the other team was ready to fight you know didn't annihilate us and he goes look he goes either you
stop shooting at my guys long enough for me to extract my soldiers out of there or i'm going to
take all your toys off the board and he they did a ceasefire long enough for us to get hot extracted
out and then we essentially bailed on it took the americans left that g chief and left him on his own
yeah there's some minor mentions of it in time magazine but you'll never hear too much mentioned
about all of that you know but we you know we had you know in the accompanying we had got high luxes
you know as we were building up the forces we had helped them buy high luxes get them weapons
you know get them all the equipment we just left all that right there with them this is this is
something i will say because i heard this story uh going through college and we talked about this
when i finally got tagged for intel and it was a huge this was a huge i would say this has been
probably the number one story that kind of helped me become i mean i'm not going to say i was a good
analyst but hell every month i was in afghanistan i was i was getting recommended for a combat award
but uh right this story is absolutely phenomenal because exactly it's exactly exactly what you
said you said there's level outside of america and like there's people in our discord and our
patreon who understand this is that like outside of america like there isn't you know bad guy good
guy there is this guy's good but he does this you know this guy's a bad guy but you know he
gives his money to this orphanage and he does this and it's like there's this huge spectrum of gray
in the real world and i'm gonna say the real i'll say the real world because america's not
the real world and like this story is like the best story ever because like if you ever decide
to get into intel you need to know that like this is this is what happens there you there you're a
pawn um you can upgrade your pawn force to you know a rook or a bishop but ultimately you're
going to answer to state policymakers and there's a lot of room on the chess board to play and you
guys were kind of unfortunately caught by a bigger piece and outplayed and it's yeah it's the uh what is
it the polycom that you can do polycomry yeah the polycomry it's your design to fail it's a
star trek reference like you had to fail it was all you had yeah you weren't set up and then and then
this okay so the the partnered force that the americans were with we we left them because of the
political sabi point i was like the accordingly that the north owned it at that point it wasn't
our team that owned it but the northern alliance owned it and one of the things that that showed me
you know and like i said this is you when you dwell on it long enough you said that the lessons
are just poor and and what it is is like look you know we're thinking end of conflict is when the
you know the bad guys are done but they're overseas they don't just think the end of the
taliban or the end of al-qaeda once i get them out of there now they're they're thinking their
political future as well and what that looks like and and there are other elements that they
they're with you know their political future all they're before the first bullets are even
thrown they're thinking they can continue them beyond the bullets being shot and we're only
we were only thinking and it's just so ingrained to us as americans that the fight's over when the
fight's over and everything everything suddenly becomes you know roses and it's like no no and
then the other thing is like even though we have like and as we're just the military aspect
your government that's in power along with various agencies um they have a political
spot they have a thing that they want to see also so just because my force gets in there
and wins is it the is it the force that we want is that another agency wants to win or not you
know does work in the grand long scheme the 10-year plan the 15-year plan of america and when you
work in special operations and you work at that level that's what you're dealing with is the
continuum beyond the conflict and everybody and people are trying to run this game sometimes too
early sometimes too late or they're not even thinking about it at all or that's all they're
thinking about they're not thinking about the end of the fighting first they're thinking long
term it's like you guys need to go back to reality we're still here but you know it's
it's always like we always talk about in sf it's like nobody ever talks about it like phase seven
you're supposed to talk about phase seven where you you pass off where you pass off control to them
starting at phase one you know eventually we when you give a guy a gun you have to sit there and
say oh by the way i want that gun back when the fighting is over okay this i wrote a piece on this
you're not aware of it but this was a huge piece for me that i wrote on kit bag and i i said i i
don't know if you follow the instagram or not but it was i wrote a piece called ukraine and phase seven
and everyone's like what the fuck do you mean by phase seven i'm like eventually we have a 200
billion dollars in equipment that are held by asov battalion a far right extremist group
we have anarchists there we have a lgbtq community that is headed by a male to female
commander or nco in the ukrainian military there's certain types of generals over there with high
mars like let's say and that was something that i wrote i wrote exactly like you said i wrote
let's say ukraine wins tomorrow yeah what are you going to do with the nazi battalion the lgbtq
battalion yes the yes a plethora a million eastern european orthodox slobs with guns yes
and what what what happens and nobody nobody everyone's like eh we'll figure that out later
nobody wants to yep we need to figure that out and that's part of being in soft and like i learned
in fourth battalion is like we have to choose the guys we give the guns to very carefully
yes if we set if we link up with these forces eventually we like you said now you know come
on buddy give the gun back like you yeah and it's okay you have to like before you deal with gchicks
now you have to ask that question well okay so let's say the war it was over tomorrow what are you
going to do what do you see what's what's the backside now and what's even crazier than that is
american i like like we were just saying is american ideals being implemented on afghans
and slobs and irakis and stuff like that nobody's gonna be the george washington here's my sword
i'm gonna go back to mount fernan i'm gonna smoke a bunch of pot and don't call me everyone's gonna
hold on to that look at con their their congress and their parliament they're gonna go no i'm in
charge now so i mean if you if you really i mean there's so many lessons that came out of
that it's like all right all right define winning so in american concept we we watch these movies all
the time like uh you watch all like even the uh the the avengers all that crap like that what
happens in the avengers the bad guy loses all the bad guys are gone good guys are there everybody
you know little funeral for tony stark and all this other stuff but everything continues on all
happy all the bad guys are gone um uh no no over there uh there's no such thing as all the bad
guys being gone you're not gonna this isn't a movie where all the bad guys you go away you you have
that that fulfillment of victory or anything else they're not going to do that this this is
somebody pointed out is the difference between a finite game and an infinite game it's like we
were thinking finite but they're playing infinite you know they're they're it's not over if there's
a guy on there who's still got a gun who still wants to shoot at you it's not over the the
resistance is still there and your american movie of all the bad guys being gone is not
going to happen i'm sorry you're not going to get rid of that last guy with the gun um
and so that that that whole you know i had this finite i had this image in my mind of us
taking this battalion we take over paul poli comrie we unite with all the other sf teams out
there and we we all we hooray afghanistan we got rid of all the taliban but wait a minute
all the taliban are actually the sons of the people who are the posh too who are own pretty
much 95 percent of afghanistan so i can't really kill all the taliban or you know yeah it's not
gonna work because you know then you're killing off all the sons and daughters of so of the the
the biggest part of the population yeah you've got and i mean go down a yeah he's i actually got
told him he's no longer taliban mother fucker oh no we we had he's he's good yeah we we fucking had
that we had we put you know it's like we're working with dostem and we're working with all the northern
alliance but who did we put in charge in afghanistan um uh what's the fuck oh god what's his name the guy
that uh the the stupid hat yeah uh the first president dude so many people make fun of him
yeah um carzai carzai yes carzai yeah he was posh too he had he he only showed up with the one the
one oda um that we we lost all the guys on when he was down there with that oda they got blown up
up there you know all you know sad to stay because they were just the other side of the mountains
and we could have probably been there if we had the ability to um but that was his only that's his
that's his biggest fight was that you know it was to carzai but the whole northern alliance had been
fighting the whole time carzai shows up they pull him in he shows up you know a little bit and now
he's we decided he's gonna be the president because he's uh linked in with all the posh too who are
over there in afghanistan who by the way are also the parents and grandfathers of all the taliban
that we're fighting it's like all right so we can't don't don't kill all the taliban just just
the really bad ones who is your son a bad one no no my son is not a bad one he's not one of the
really bad it's not what he's just a little yeah so that's where you get to the level so if you
know what is there's a guy great so much great well i mean that's so we had we had that happen
we had an oda go in the helm and and they they didn't get kinetic at all and like all the intel
guys were like what the fuck just happened and they like they just walked around the market
all day we're just watching this on isr they come back we're like what just happened and
they they're like oh they were good taliban and i'm like yeah say that slower fucking yeah could
you could you repeat yourself and what you say yeah and and i mean it's just like you said levels
and of gray and black and white and it's it's funny i mean but then you realize like you go back to
like the mal and the mal levels of an insurgency right like that's just the auxiliary zone oh we're
not taliban we're only taliban when the taliban are here and then we support the taliban we're
the militia like and so and then i do have one question for you because this is something that uh
so there's a lot of green berets that come out now and the fall of afghanistan has happened
um we lost call it what it is but we we we all know that like the ana and the anp and the afghans
never had the will to fight the taliban they didn't care um no but they're buying you've deployed
several times to afghanistan you were the first one one of the first ones in there
your fucking kid went there which was my that was my favorite was uh i don't want my son fighting
here and i'd be like well too fucking late yeah like fucking yeah too fucking late yeah but i was
going to say the green berets like to blame the conventional guys they said once once the generals
got involved where where do you place the the blame it where from your experience like who
lost the war for the united states good really really good question because i have my opinion but
yeah i yeah uh and i'm like i and i will say that everybody's opinion has some validity to it yeah
you know sit there and put the blame on the generals you can put the blame on politics you
can put the blame on the the ana you can put the blame so many different places but if i was going
to put the blame anywhere it it would have to be on the upper i'm gonna i'm gonna put it in two
different pockets number one i'm gonna put it into the military industrial complex who was all about
finding you know they were making money and money and money off that so the incentive to continue
the fight is there from the military industrial complex and all their lobbyists and all the people
that they're connected to in the highs but so if you got the people out there who are looking for
the money there was the incentive to keep it going and nobody took away that incentive from them
to perpetuate the fight so there's that number two if you were a legitimate person who wanted to
achieve something over there you didn't understand what was going on over there that was the other
thing is that there was such a lack of unending of you know everybody you know if they're in there
with that that that mentality of all that we give it all the bad guys it'll all end no that's not
going to happen they're the bad there are going to be bad guys over there and you're going to have
to accept that when we walk out of there bad guys are going to be there and then you talk about the
tell you know tell banner actually the sons and you know the sons of all the posh too it's like
okay so they're going to be there um you know there's still going to be the poorest border with
pakistan there's everything it's like you guys you your definition of winning has to change it's
like what you you we we talk about this in the war and officer courses in there it's um always
terminate before you culminate or is it a culminate before you terminate one of the other i can't
remember right now it's just been too long but in one sense you finished all your objectives in the
other sense you can't do anymore and so and in fact you start to lose ground and the idea is
you need to identify your military objectives and achieve your military objectives and that's
terminate so you do terminate you're you're determining you're determining your termination
criteria it's like when we achieve this we're done okay that's it we should could we have
terminated as soon as we took the Taliban out of power and left it up to the afghanis afghanis and
let them sort that crap out it's going to be a mess you know that we get somebody decided to keep
pushing and staying there and thinking we could do something cool with it like give with the women
the right to vote and all that other over there right you know it's like somebody just kept adding
termination criteria after termination criteria and eventually we got to the part where we culminated
we could there was nowhere else we were going to go there was nothing else we were going to achieve
the resistance was too high we had overstayed our cape what we intended to do there you know it's like
one thing that we had in the Gulf War was our termination criteria that was clearly laid out by
Colin Powell and Schwartz and Schwartzkopf they said this is how it's you know under these criteria
we have achieved our goals and we are getting the out and then let hell you know everything go to
hell after that but we achieve what we wanted to achieve the idea that we had we went in we moved
the Taliban out we should put al-qaeda on the run perfect kind of easily you know backed off and
dealt with it it's like if we have to go back in we go back in but we create new termination
criteria we go in now we stay because people had the good idea ferry was just running around ramping
over there supported and I want to say supported by the military industrial complex pushing the
good idea ferry it's like yeah go ahead stay women's right to vote all you got to do is continue
fighting and keep buying all these arms and and spending all this lucrative amount of money and
here's contractors and all this other there's there was too much incentives to stay there
and then we got to a point where it was staying continue to stay was ludicrous which was the
culmination point yeah you everything was going to shit at that point you know now you're an
occupying force and it you you don't even know what you're freaking doing you know you got people
are coming up with arbitrary termination criteria women's right to vote was hilarious they can't
even read they can't even read right you can't even read you know it's like oh everybody everybody
gets to vote including women oh yeah that sat well with that crowd over there um and then it's
say you when you got it when you got a group of people who are populist over there who are looking
at you like what do you mean give the women the right to vote they we're trying to implement
you know 200 years of american society on them in a couple of matter of years and it's like
and if you don't we're going to shame you you know because you don't have the right for women's
right to vote that's whatever oh and and you got to let you know you know gays and all that what
yeah i mean let's you're not pushing this and yeah it you're taking a country that was literally
and and we joke about it in the discord um they they literally build their houses out of mud and
like and and it's impressive i will say that because those those mud brick houses can take
a 50 cal it's impressive but it's a mud hunt yeah yeah they're women wear potato sacks yeah
yeah and yeah and gay rights yeah yeah and and yeah all that and and meanwhile you're chasing
the like the largest heroin dealers ever known to man billions where did that even come from
what did that have to do with anything oh my god uh well that was that was that was the thing for me
was like when i was introduced to the dea and my five mission over there and i saw how much money
the Taliban were moving i'm like why is this not the main priority like why are we not attacking
the terrorist funding and they're just like well we're trying to get the americans to bite off on
that they just keep wanting to blow shit up and like you said the military industrial complex like
you don't sell a lot of bombs blowing up heroin in fact you sell more by attacking and so that's
like i said i've i've got my personal views on that but we you don't if you don't understand the
fight don't get into it and we not and we we did not understand the fight and we had people it's
like watching a high school fight you got somebody out there who got pushed into a fight with somebody
else and that there's a group of people supporting them or not even in the fight they just keep
egging it on yeah fight fight money money money money fight fight fight oh right and then you got
these other idiots over there right to the vote right to the vote gay rights yeah yeah yeah and
the guy the guy you know we who went in there to you know military people we understand military
objectives and what do you mean vote why are we still for yeah that's what the why are we doing
here why do you have your camera out he what we're fighting for dirt you know they like
what are we trying there isn't a guy in there in this valley there is a person in this valley
who is going to number one become a threat to the united states at all yeah nobody in this valley is
going they can't they're going to it on a map huts they're fighting over mud huts yeah yeah okay yeah
that's Afghanistan then i i i do think though that you're uh the the shining moment for you's always
been uh iraq uh o3 uh solder city a15 like yeah o3 to o7 um probably you know with
with that i was with i can't go into specifics on at their mission or anything um a special forces
they don't exist anymore they don't exist anymore they don't exist anymore you can explain what a
criff is right like you can it's the uh i can give you the what the acronym the overview it's like
yeah it's a commander is an extremist force um the words the words are the definition okay if a
commander has in a a situation uh you bring in a force that's designed to deal in extreme in
extreme circumstances um and they're they're trained specifically a highly trained and skilled and
supplied and supported to deal with a crisis situation um so i you're the wikipedia and the uh
go for it the wikipedia and google article okay so the criff and the or the sif the continental
reaction force or the the sif was the at every group you had one company um at fifth group it was
a15 um they were the group commanders they were his they were the beating stick 60 hand-picked
green berets from across the the entire group who roughly yeah yeah six teams yeah yep six teams
60 guys so you got to get into special forces you got to get an incest into a15 or the sif or the
for whatever it is that day of the month but basically if somebody if some shitheads acting up
you're gonna have 60 of the best dudes knocking on your door and it's only because and the only
reason they're there is because delta force was busy with somebody else like if delta forces i don't
know who you're trying to know who that other force is yeah they that's another non-existent
entity yeah they talk about yeah but go go to google go to google but if if he's they're too
busy begging your mom this is the like they're only jv they're only jv to one person and usually
he's out banging someone's mom so you yeah yeah but yes so yes we were we were um we were tasked to
work with um uh iraq's uh most elite special operations forces going after um iraq's highest
target deck um was this the baseball cards for them we we we helped build them from just a platoon
to a company to a battalion to eventually the uh the i was a the iraqi counterterrorism force and
the various um uh ranger brigades which are out there uh running around or commando commando
brigades which are in iraq um but we still we're still doing the the sf mission of of um build
capacity you know we we the idea was um lead one a company one you know support one type thing
and those are the iraqis that we worked with um some some of the finest iraqi warriors i've ever
dealt with um you know we lost a lot of friends oh go ahead so this is something that you may
have to touch on but there is a big difference between the iraq military and the afghan military
oh yes the iraqis oh yeah yeah but go ahead yes so right so again if you go if you look at the
iraq military the the way that their own culture speaks for itself because they were the number
seven until the gulf war and then we now down to like 12 or something like that um so the the
military is very very ingrained in their society um they it's it was an honorable profession within
their their society uh even under sidam if you were a part of the military it was still considered
an honorable profession um it but you had to it it all depended on whether you were suni or shia
you know when under um saddam was saying uh predominantly most of the officers were suni
most of the the the uh the enlisted were shia um the the major officers were all suni because
that was what saddam was was suni and the the more the the hardcore elite units of
saddam was were suni handpicked guys a lot of the if you if you think like national guard
reserves they were they were a lot of shia that were there but the um so when you're
when we started creating the ictf and the commandos uh they actually had their own
selection process they we we helped them create their own selection process to create the ictf
and the commandos um and very similar to ours a lot of challenges uh we had to show different
people were weeded out um but they were elite military fighters they were dedicated they would
fight especially the ictf they were um they they got called the dirty brigade uh numerous times
by by every bad guy even some of the you know mostly good people at rap were led to believe
that they were the dirty brigade but what they were made up of uh they were the the the ictf was
everybody it was suni she occurred um even you know various all different ethnicities
and they were dedicated to uh at least why we were there the from during the years that i
were there they were very very dedicated to doing the right thing getting bad guys off the street
so that iraq could develop our government and become something of trying to regrow and become
back into the norm of of the rest of the world or at least get back to the level that they they
could or would be so they were they would they they were not running around in sneakers they were
running around in boots and uniforms they wore their uniforms right um the ictf were the ictf
how amazing these guys were is these guys had their own gym and went to the gym on their own
we didn't have to push them into the gym these guys ran platoon formations on their own these
they would run um they they wore nods if they put nods on they put the nods down and they
wore them on target um they wore baseball hats they had uh flex magazine pictures of of dudes
with you know they were they were trying to be like muscle wise off their wall locker you know
like you'd see them in the gym trying to work out they're like i want to be like shon uh which was a
shon uh ray uh you know it's like they're they're just they're they're flexing in there and they're
just like going down they were they were dedicated they were their ba um so that that's a proud work
with that that that's something that i i guess we'll touch on it now but a lot of a lot of it is uh
and this this actually kind of comes into the family dynamic that you me cj have but uh you're
kind of hinting at it but this iraq team house family dynamic that kind of became our household
it's it's it's the gym it's guns it's video games and see it's men men men men men it's right right
right well wait and and you give somebody shit but you love them yeah you know it was
it was uh you know like if somebody screwed up you just sit there and everybody looking and
lean on it did dumb ass like i didn't care if you were seven years old i'd sit there and say
you're a dumb ass you don't know about it you're like yeah i was a dumb ass move i yeah i mean it
it is to because like you're you're describing it but like the the muscle and fitness magazines
like it doesn't matter if you were a runner or a lifter it didn't matter about any of that like
you you worked out you did your job you go home to your family you play video games with the boys
but it's literally like a temple of toxic masculinity it is absolutely a dolly lava like yep
with with the one side caveat of love like you know no matter what i've got your back dog i can
on the like you and me are the only two that can talk shit to cj and and well and cj can whip
our ass for it but i was to talk shit to cj it's like now you've got the three of us coming down on
i'm like you know i'll i'll make you cry you know like cj proved it going in the air force is like
yeah how many times has cj been up to go see his his officers for making people cry we would be like
well that's funny so so this is this is the we'll do the the next the next bit uh the warrant
officers ices and then i've got some questions at you for you but then so you go from running and
gunning like literally all the time to yes what what happened with the warrant officer thing
uh all right so let me see uh i made it up to e8 um and when i was down there with a with a15
and when i say down there that's all relative to the building we ran it was always upstairs
downstairs a15 was always down there on the first floor but uh so i was with a15 i got my e8
i had been thinking about warrant officer for a while and we were getting to a point in the military
community and within sf where the level of knowledge of what happened prior to 911 and
what was beginning to become apparent as we move towards 2000 2011 eventually where america got
kicked out of iraq is we're moving back to more of a peacetime force and that there that there was
no knowledge left of that uh and i you know you're looking at me at that point so when i went in 2007
to become a warrant officer uh i had uh 19 years in the military so i was i was old and and with
long and long in the tooth to become a warrant officer and so my selling point was you know
number one i'm still in great shape i'm still out there i'm a warrior um uh but the knowledge that
i'm bringing to the table is worth it to you here's what i'm bringing to the table is all of this
you know everything prior to 911 ever since everything since 911 leadership skills and
i'm bringing this to the table and saying i want to stay here and when you become a warrant officer
in sf you go you go right back to the teams as like a newbie almost you're a new officer but with
all your the knowledge that and you want your warrant officers on your team your warrant officer
is a key player on your team he's probably the longest in the tooth the most educated um the
most experienced on the team you know second only or or maybe more so than the the actual
team sergeant himself and so having been a team sergeant i had my e8 i did my e8 time um and was
moving up to staff at that point uh it wasn't that i didn't want to go to staff i just thought i had
more to bring back to the team so i became a warrant officer in 2007 uh funny thing about
that is i went back to the very first my my team that i got was the team that i was first assigned
to when i was in 18 delta and i got to a special forces group uh got assigned to 51 what i went
from 532 to it was now 5132 due to the renumbering system and you can if you look at the pictures
on the wall you actually see pictures of eric as in you know enlisted e6 eric e6 e7 eric and then
later on warrant officer 1 eric 2 and 3 eric on this i'm in the same team room you're like okay
this guy's been here you know 95 and here is 2013 you know he's been here a while so uh warrant
officer uh did my team at the time on the team went back went back to afghanistan went back to
iraq as a warrant officer led the team when when they didn't have a captain um got to did my did
six years on a team as a warrant officer and then moved out to become a warrant officer instructor
i was selected by uh fifth group to to represent fifth group at the at the warrant officer academy
there was at that point we only had one warrant officer from every group at the academy it was
considered a prestigious position uh you're you're essentially the representative for your
group and when warrant when guys went to become a warrant officer at the academy like all the
fifth group guys you know i was their their other advisor so you had their their assigned advisor
and then you had your group specific advisor that's still you know liaison with the group back
and back so i was teaching at fort bragg i was liaisoning back to the special force of group
the warrant officer leadership uh that was back to our fifth group keeping everybody advised to
find out how our soldiers were doing and everything like that um came back became a company warrant
officer for this uh charlie company first battalion uh then went up became the what's
considered the a bow or the assistant battalion operations warrant uh within first battalion
and then migrated up to become the s3x up a group and then the ops warrant the the operations warrant
the s3 ops warrant up there at group as well so i i you know the only position that i did not
occupy as you as you go the two positions i didn't occupy as i as i migrated up was the
actual battalion operations warrant within first battalion or the group operations warrant the two
highest one one's the highest end of battalion and one's the highest in group but all the other
key major positions within group and now here's a bonus for you so when i got some surgeries for
my shoulder and my neck uh around 17 um first battalion went forward and i was given uh i was
the authorized battalion rear d commander for first battalion so i actually signed for first
battalion i've here's here's my here's what my my my if you i've still got the the paperwork on it
where i had signature authority for uh five three two as the the team leader signature
authority for i was the acting company commander for charlie company the acting battalion commander
for first battalion uh and this is when you know at one point i had uh four companies underneath me
yeah i was the acting battalion commander yeah so there's some literature out there you know it's
as far as leadership capability goes that soup that's even far superior than just being the
battalion operations warrants like it i'm i'm answering questions as a battalion commander
to the group commander yeah fill it filling in uh as it was really funny because i've for those
listening like i got to spend a lot of time as a cadet at the warren officer academy with my dad
and like hang out with all the fifth group like fifth group third group all those warrants and
my favorite question was when you and another warren officer were briefing these new special
forces captains and you were telling them all the capabilities of a special forces warren officer
you can lead the team you can take charge of the team you can own the team like all the things
a warren officer can do and this guy stands up and he goes chief what the fuck do i do then if
you're in charge of all of this if you if you can do everything i can do what the hell do you need
me for yes it it it yeah and so you know and in the army for those listening like we consider
warren officers a uh you guys are the subject matter experts and so you guys are basically
as a 180 alpha of the subject matter experts on unconventional warfare and how to be green
parades and so it's it makes sense that you guys can you know i can take the team back it i can
do the yeah yeah you want to watch go go do whatever you want to i got yeah yeah you go do
whatever go to a meeting um uh so then like so we've we've talked for a while but you've
you've been to iraq twice now iraq's done and then somewhere around 2014 twice or not i mean like for
two conflicts right for two oh yeah yeah okay you've done the the fellowship of the ring you've
done return of the tower or the two towers and now yeah we're yeah we did season six yeah yeah and so
now yeah now or you know you can make any joke but now isis right what was that like to see it like
knew it suck you saw it coming yeah uh 2000 um there was mites so we were uh up north in
diala province over in iraq around 2011 um 2010 2011 and both the team before us and our team
were collecting data on the targets that were being prosecuted in that area and things had
politically changed uh inside iraq um the the shia were primarily in power i think ali was the guy
that was uh the the president at the time um i i'm i'm i don't forget who but anyway they all of
any shia target aim almost unprosecutable we could not we could not go after any shia targets without
any suny target we could go in on a whim you know they were like oh is he so many like go go go
prosecuted and we we crunched the numbers over two rotations up into that area uh 99% of the
targets that were prosecuted were suny the other 1% were a shia target that we had to get command
influence to go prosecute the go prosecute so when you have that kind of a dynamic um we
and you know the the whole thing about uh sf is uh dale press will be there to deliberate the
oppress when you see a group of people regardless you know a minority or whatever when you see somebody
just beat down beat down beat down and the government is the one that's beating them down
there's only they they're gonna die they're gonna be exterminated or they're gonna fight back that
was it and the numbers didn't lie then the and there was as soon as anybody were worth a while
that was willing to fight to organize and fight against the shia government didn't matter who
they were as long as just so happened to be isis and they were suny affiliated if they were willing
to fight against and represent the suny people in iraq against the government everybody was going
to support wholesale regardless of whether they were good bad ugly or indifferent and we talk about
that gray area and so the rare fact that somebody showed up willing to fight back willing to to
get some guns organized and fight back against the shia dominated government of iraq and the
community was going to do it and that's why they managed to push from i mean we'd we'd kind of seen
them on the outside over in syria on the borders and there were some actions that were up there
but when they swept into iraq and pushed them all the way down to bagdad i was like i saw it
saw it coming the only way they got the only reason they got stopped in bagdad is because
both iran and shia and everybody else ran in there and stopped them before they took over bagdad
because they were coming yeah and they they chased them so fast they were dropping their vehicles
they'd left everything behind and you're you were speaking to the people that's what the people
actually you know were longing for it's like they were getting beat and i watch that and it's it sits
in my mind you know how you know a you can only push people so far before they they long for the
freedom to free to think on their own and not be judged for how for what they do and not to live
in fear and i'm why you know i watch that and i you watch what's going on in the united states and
there's a there's a group of people that have a lot of money and a lot of influence and a lot of
everything right now and they're persecuting people now and it's making it hard to even speak
your mind here in america and you're pushing people into corners to where they're gonna start
coming out and it only man we are it could go south in a heartbeat if it just something very
similar to ices showed up and but i i could have told you ices was coming i could i could
we begged borrowed and eat it with all of the senior leadership we showed those numbers
to leadership in iraq saying guys if we don't start going after you know if we don't if we
back off of this suni if we don't address this whole shia suni dynamic and we keep pushing this
you're gonna have an uprising you're going to and it just came in the form of ices yeah and
i mean we've talked about it a lot like a lot of people don't remember like the arab revolution
like when they got that the arab world got connection to the internet now like wait a
minute like if again hold up and then like we had to say at the ua e we had to go oh we'd like to
do by uh and so it it that was a really weird time and it makes sense that if you take the the
arab revolution timeline and then you beat the shit out of the suni like you're saying oh the suni
awakening and so yeah yeah it's like oh nobody's so could us all this coming in like um so yeah
we got about like 10 10 minutes before we reach like the two okay mark but i'll just yep speed
balsam uh first question um one of the books that i recommend everybody is tribe um
by session younger talks about how you know sense of belonging whatever um you and i have
talked about this where it's like or i've told other people like america isn't a warrior culture
but we have warrior families and you'll meet people who they there's the west point lineage
family but that's not what i'm talking about i'm talking about like there's a lot of families
that have the dad was enlisted the sun's enlisted when i was at airborne school there were green
berets pinning their wings on like there were like five green berets at my airborne school
uh graduation along with yourself due to we're going to be 11 bravos rangers myself and and so
what i'm what i'm getting at is like you me uncle mail grandpa cj um it doesn't really
the weights were used to the weight i would say you know like family members have passed
not family members but uh friends have died to suicide to combat uh josh walley dam can't
all those guys yep yep how and your words describe it like that whole dynamic the um
so one of the things i want to have to go to is actually so all three of us both you me uh cj
we're all getting therapy for some of the things that have happened that we've seen
overseas um and i'm going to go to something that one of my my therapist said and that that is um
that what you whatever you experience becomes yours whether or not you wanted to experience it
it's your experience it's your baggage now for life your whatever you thought was going to be in
your bag has changed it because somebody took something and put it into your bag and you can
never ever take it out of that bag it's in your bag for the rest of your life now carry it deal
with it okay and so one of the things that we have within our family is we've got the uh the
experience of carrying that extra stuff in our bag which other families don't you know they
they're like my dad was carrying it in his bag whether or not he talked about it um it was an
experience which he carried with them and became you're you're born again like a phoenix once you
come out of war your your whole everything you thought you knew has changed and you've got to
deal you you are what you what you thought was happening is no longer happening you're now on
this other thing and you can become whoever you want but this is in your bag too and so my dad
took all of his experiences from war too and it became it's a common conversation within our
families like we talk about war like if to to a level that no other i mean families don't talk
about this stuff you know we tj is what he does and and and we we talked between you and i any time
we talked is like we don't even have to say too much we know what's going on it's like okay i'm
working on this okay i've got all this experience to go on you don't have to explain it to me and
it's not odd and when you get that kind of support from your family where you know it's not odd to
have that conversation it's like you know i'm having trouble this is what i'm going to go do
tomorrow you know we use word like one of the words that that we use is like uh you know
yeah i'm ventilating you know we you know for for somebody or and we're like no i don't i don't
have to explain no exactly you know um you know you talk about a city and you're for a bomb or
you know or the size of a bomb yeah yeah or yeah it's like you know we're going to move around
and we're going to relocate some geography here anything yeah um but it's just it's such a common
it's like a when you got that common dialogue that common conversation you become you become any
community of people who speak that language and it's almost like a completely separate language
and you you gel to the people that you speak the language of so it's it's not a common to sit there
and have military families breed more military people just like firemen breed more firemen
or police bring breed more policemen it's because the common language and the thought process is so
it's so comfortable for us yeah and and then the the the ability to carry around that luggage
is also supported by us okay it's like if you know cj's having a hard day as an nco it's like
we're both sitting there going yeah i got you brother yeah you can't share that with anybody else
yeah who's he going to share with you know the people of his community which are you know his
family and us and everything else it's just it's it's it is it's like you talk about it as a tribe
it's like we are we have our own language our own thought process our own reflections our own
everything that that other people just don't know and it's such an easy comfortable feeling
we're like no this this is as natural as anything this is like breathing to me is to be in the
military yeah i mean i it's funny because like my my wife is from portland oregon she'd never
seen a military base in her life and like when she went to aerosol school it was like really the
first time she had done a hard obstacle course i've been climbing ropes since i was like eight
right right yeah right yeah yeah and if we don't and if anything and i like we talked about it's
like it's almost like a far significant other isn't military they don't even have an idea of what to
deal yeah how do you you can't even talk to him and so um the other thing and uh i think that's
kind of solved by like our the team room thing is like we have guys in here and we talk about this
uh most men live lives of quiet desperation and so they end up paying 500 to a thousand dollars for
a weekend with some goober and it's it's it's sad because like there are there's tons of guys just
like yourself out there who would gladly hang out like go to a bjj gym go to a weightlifting gym
or a gun range but i i guess it's like so those guys who are stuck in the office cubicle i mean
i think the what you need in your life is you need that team room time you need the the guys you
need to go lift weights and stuff but what do you what do you recommend to the guy in the cubicle
oh to the so this is i think this is it's not even it's a calling almost it's a longing for um
like one of the things that we've lost as a society is the interaction among people and uh
the cubicle farms the isolation of living off your computer um the the fact that guys that you know
you're like even that the whole dating services where you don't go out and interact and and go
through the the the back and forth of of failing asking when you ask a girl out or any of those
things all those experiences are gone and only you know it's it's you see the same thing within
brazilian jujitsu it's just connections you know and the the nice thing about any type of military
training is it automatically produces a connection between people and they long for whether we long
for the challenge and when only when in goggles talks only when you get challenged do you become
your real self does your real self start to show and when you have that shared experiences of
challenges with other people and they're experiencing their own humanness alongside you it's an immediate
bond it's like hey i want to quit i want to quit too hi let's talk you know one of those things
and all of a sudden you're like no we can get through this bra you know you and me it's like
this is cool and it's it's a shared bonding experience brought on by a challenge and people
long for it they do um and and you know as you brought up one thing and i wanted to talk about
this when i had this chance with you uh because we're seeing this now uh within the military
community the post-military community especially among the special ops military community is where
the everybody's out to you know we all while we're in the special ops community we talked
about being the brotherhood the brotherhood of the special ops community and now when everybody
gets out it's like oh you know i'm gonna run this this thing and then and they start talking
bad about each other and they start bashing each other on the backside of of this it's like guys
guys guys the brotherhood you know it's it and but it's like i can't believe the amount of backstabbing
which would goes on outside the the the military community once we leave or retire or get out
especially in the spec ops community like what they're doing at Goggins is absolutely insane
um you know they you see it in in some of the other ones too it's like it's like if you guys
always like this in special ops were you guys assholes then that you guys just decided to become
an asshole even more so now that you're out and it's about me and what i want to do and it's it's
like no man it's like we can't do this it's like you know i'm going if you're in the military and
you you came out and i don't care what Goggins did overseas what he the the language he's putting
out the the knowledge he's putting out the the experience he's challenging or challenging to
people and uh it needs to get out there there's other there's other guys that are out there
from the spec ops community and they bring a lot to the humans to the the civilian sector now
that needs to be listened to and and challenging them in front of the this you know the civilians
it's that helpful not not not in the slightest it doesn't it doesn't hurt help anybody to
based on the messages that Goggins put out yeah he's making money off it let's not cut try to
cut into him just because we want to make more money let's let the message resonate if you
get a different message you know put it out there but let's support each other you know stop bashing
each other i think uh because i'm in i'm in a weird i mean i've got my s identifier technically i'm
a special operations intel alpha right but uh i was gonna say i watching that and kind of talking
to other veterans it's kind of weird because there are like we have infantry guys and regular dudes
in our our patreon and discord who didn't like they did stuff but they didn't do anything special
but then on the other end of the spectrum we have the soft community which did a ton of stuff and
then there are guys who i'm not gonna name names but there are guys who literally just became soft
and never deployed never did anything overseas and they're out there teaching courses and doing
gun stuff and making millions of dollars just off the back of soft and i think that um and and this
one more thing i'll mention is like a piece of evidence it's like a ranger up uh for those of
you who do not remember it it was a clothing company it was like the only veteran own clothing
company but nick paul machano the owners like you can't all these guys come out of the military
and they're like i'm gonna start a sf ranger uh clothing line and it's like okay no i'm not
listen to me for a second how many actual ranger scrolled rangers and sf tab guys are there in
the military and it's like less than one percent and then it's like how much does the military
make up of all us personnel less than five less than five percent of the the u.s population so you
you've taken it and you've gone down to this little group and i think the thing is is the
like the the conventional army guys are sitting off to the side watching the soft guys eat each
other up and they're they're usually and it's funny because like when you talk to other soft
guys in the community they're like that guy was kind of a dick anyways or like whatever but the
conventional guys are sitting off to the side going jesus christ look at them eat each other the
soft guys are eating each other there are guys like you who have just been quiet and you know
they want to live their life but they'll come on a talk show and talk but i i think the answer is
you need somebody needs to find a way to bring the soft guys who aren't talking and hanging out
and they need to take the conventional military and you need to take normal people and you need to
sit down and have a discussion and whoever whoever can bring everybody to the same table without
judgment like who cares if at the end of the day who cares if you've got a long tab who cares if
you have four tabs who cares if you were a navy seal who cares if you were a medic on a fucking
logistics boat in the marine the merchant marine and that's that's where the answer is because that
tribe will be too big you can't you can't one navy seal on the outside going you guys are fucking
losers to 800 firefighters police officers people who like to do things going i don't care what you
think like like i've seen what makes you cheer it your booze be nothing go write a book like it's
and yeah it's i i would say the majority of those guys are just squeaky wheels who are toxic and at
the end of the day i think more veterans are going to come out and tell the soft community that the
toxic soft guys the toxic navy seals shut up who cares what david did i you know whether or not
you know how i how i i look at like i i talk a lot about david godin because what he said
resonated with me there may be other you know there's a lot of other books and stuff that
everybody his his really resonated it it it hit me in a place that um especially what i like a
little bit of shame when he sat there and said you know you get your green bird you get your tab
and you that's it and you kind of rest on that laurel and you it's a it's a it's a i fuck i did
that you know and i think it it's provocative and i think you know a lot of a lot of seals
probably also feel the same way too it's like yeah i got my seal tab and i seal tab well go go be
more seal go be go go the bar you know you don't just because you you could you jumped six feet
doesn't everything you did all the training you did to finally jump that six foot can you jump six
foot one now can you put do more training and achieve six foot one go try you know you you've
already shown the capability and for the rest of your life you should be trying to jump six foot
one you know and try to push that raise the bar of your not not just raise the bar green berets
but raise your own bar that's that's just achievement unlocked like in the game achievement
unlocked but the game doesn't end because you unlock that achievement you keep going on and
try and unlock other achievements and so where Dave went out and it's like he was a seal cool
okay try for delta didn't work uh past ranger school cool uh ran up did 50 mile run okay that
worked so now he went on did 100 miles and he's gonna do 200 miles or you know if you don't if
you don't you're not trying to raise the bar in your life then you know that's you got to do it
you've got to got to create those challenges for yourself and it's it's provocative and it
irritates people and people want to stop it and and you know jockel wilnick and some of the other
great you know there's there's some really great knowledge that's out there and let it provoke
you let it let it move you don't don't try to knock it down because we got so many people
who'd knocking down good messages now because they it's like it's a good message you know yeah
let's let's let's run with it and then somebody comes on it's like oh it's trash because he's
trash it's like let's let's not do that let's let's let's let's push each other on like we do in
spec ops you know it's like well i don't we one of the things that we learned in a15 in order to be
as good as we were we had to hurt each other's feelings in the team room it's like look you
missed that shot you could have taken this current turn faster and that's like all throughout my sf
career you know we challenged each other while we were there it's like we can do this better the
only reason we got out of those holes a out of the scud hunt holes and actually be started going
linear and chasing scuds across the rack was because we challenged ourselves we challenged the
thought process at the time it's like we can do this better we there's a better way to do it we
can go higher we can do better and and i think is the one thing the military community does
bring into the table is that that thought process of we can do better we can do better we can be
better do you know the uh the theodore roosevelt quote the man in the arena it is not the critic
account well there's a park before that actually um okay go if you go on youtube type in the man in
the arena full speech um theodore roosevelt literally says the poorest way to face life
is in the form of a critic who does nothing yeah and he literally tells that like the first part
is hey motherfucker you on the couch sitting there doing nothing and just going hey david gag it's
try hard hey jacko sucks it like okay who do you like let me see who your heroes are and it's like
eventually you start to see like most of those people don't don't have any they can't point to
one thing that they're willing to be like no i back this and it's yes because most of the naysayers
yeah they're they're just critics it's so easy to say no it's so easy to say no or to or to sit
there and say no he's wrong okay well what's right what is it yeah i don't want to i don't want to
take a step they're horrible they're horrible they're horrible so the last one is uh and we we talked
about this before but it got cut uh what what what what are you doing now what are you doing now
okay so what do you what do you do now after after all you know all that stuff in your life well first
off um so i i i when we talked about this previously i didn't i didn't cut to it but um
there there's an actor and they were talking to their kid they're they're i think they were
what is it 60 years old they're talking to their kid and they started they started to talk to their
kid in a way that sounded like they were preparing for death and the kid goes okay you know he goes
the kid told him to think back 20 years so think about everything that if you go back to a point
20 years ago think of all the things that you accomplished over that 20 years and it's like
that's a lot it wasn't it it's like all right so you're only 60 let's say you live to 80 you've got
that same 20 year span that you did all this other stuff in front of you and you could go do
a whole bunch of stuff and so when i look at i could sit there and come out of the military and go
okay you know i did 34 years 34 years in the military and i've done all this stuff and now
i'm done you know and no no no no that's the complete let's let's take everything i did over
those 34 years flip it to the other side and go okay 34 years from now i've got the opportunity to do
that many things over the next 34 years and that's a lot of shit you know that's a ton of shit and we
have a you know in our family we have a longevity gene okay we live you know ungodly years like
your grandma lived to be 97 live beyond 100 it's like all my brothers and sisters are still alive
you know knock on wood and they're all you know 10 years older than me or above okay i will say this
you do have a sister who has had a double hip replacement and she's already getting ready to
hike up a mountain yeah like motherfucker and she's in her late 70s like so right right right right
ahead of you yeah it's like you got no don't don't don't start talking about dying don't start
sitting it's like no i've got everything i've done before just alludes to the fact of all the
possibilities which are in front of me all all that many significant events that i could i still
got to the front side so what am i doing um you know first off i uh one of the things that we see
in the militaries and once you get out of the military that first year is the roughest year i
have post retirement because you have to redefine who you are basically 34 years you had a routine
you you knew what was coming you knew what to expect tomorrow you knew what to expect next month
it whether it was a shitty day or anything else you knew what to expect but that's gone now
what you what to expect is on you now so you know i had to go through that first year of
shrugging off the military and luckily i you know as a sf guy and as a warrant officer
and my experiences for the last year in the military all gave me the opportunity to kind
of throw that stuff off my bag and get it off my backpack and and start to become more civilianized
and mental and thinking and everything else and really uh to to do things and so you know
you know what am i looking to do everything you know i'm looking um to everything as you know
though it's just so exciting to have the whole world open to me and i'm not i'm not you know i
have a a martial arts school in uh tennessee uh which i'm going to maintain for it like i'm it's
i actually own it run it uh that's going to be going for about another year and then i'm going
to be reopening another mark uh the the bjj judo school here um in georgia um i got a family
i'm starting up here um i've got you know as far as work and stuff like that i don't need to work
i've got them by military retirement but um and and my uh at the disability and that makes up all
that um so you know the world is open to me and i'm staying involved i'm staying active because
we see you know within the first five years of getting out of the military for sf guys when they
take that pressure off their back and they don't do anything they're dead five years you know post
sf they the pressure comes off they're their lifestyle changes from you know you got a ton
of things to do today tomorrow the next day and stuff like that and if you take that pressure off
it's just like anything it just explodes you see heart attacks they go brain dead they sleep apnea
kicks in and they die and it's like the like what the hell man he was you know a great shape no you
took the pressure off we're we're used to a certain amount of pressure on our body and we live because
of that pressure if we take that pressure off we're done yeah you know if we don't have a reason
to get up tomorrow if i you know well you know like we guys like i'm i'm i'm trying to jump six foot
one my goal you know i'm trying to lift more tomorrow than i did today i've got um the other
thing i'm doing is i'm house husbanding we talked about that so being a house husband i'm an sf guy
of house husband uh you know like you come home place is clean you know so please fucking house
right right at sf level it's like i'm the pressure is on i'm gonna i'm gonna make this place look good
you know um but the other thing because we've got some older guys how old were you when you
assessed into a one five oh okay let me give you this so let's let's like because like we got 34
year olds we got 36 year olds and i'm like my dad was on a one five when i what'd you get in there
like 36 uh so i got there i was 35 okay five when i got assessed in a one five and did that until i was
um 40 and then you went back if you're running if you're think if you're thinking you're you're
you're you're you know you're out of your fighting years if you if even remotely if you think
no it's a go back to the David Gogg and saying go jump six foot one all right you look
how old were you when you did your last combat mission like 45 44 no hang on so last combat mission
was i was 50 Jesus yeah so they're they're you're not out you're not out you're not even
happy you're not you're you you if you are if you are a military person and what i thought
about talking to you about this too is like because i knew this question was going to come up look we
we have a responsibility to to be a to remain a military the man the military age male that
yes military if you are military you have a responsibility to maintain them the military
age male because the people that if whenever we went after somebody on it we went into a target
or something like that we we who did we arrest all the military anybody who even 60 right right
anybody who even remotely looked like a threat we captured rolled up and put in there you the what
if i was another country if i was a country that wanted to suppress america number one i've got
to sit there and make all the military age males weak scared and unwilling to respond and if regardless
of the fact as a as a male in the united states or even if you know and keeping with the whole women
too it's like you have a responsibility if you're this is our kingdom this is our team this is you
know when we sit there and you know just like the football team so when you sit there and you slap
the top of that thing and you go not in my not in my house america is our house okay and and we
have to every day we owe it to ourselves and even if even you owe yourself at your own house
to sit there and touch that ceiling that that doorway at the top of the doorway every day
and go not in my house and maintain that physical and mental ability to protect your house not in
my house and that's and you like i'm i'm right now rebuilding my body because i got out of that you
know i didn't doggins had to and you you know we talked about pressure you know that i felt from
after hearing what the things you were doing with eric you are not who you used to be you are not
you are not being the guy that you are capably capable of being and it's like you have to go
back into that mindset of not in my house and maintain that if you have the capability to do
that you need to go do that you know if you're okay after something like that you know be as hard
you know as hard-ass as you can be but become you know produce that body produce that mindset
that you can do it into your thirties your forties your fifties don't listen to a number don't
everybody says they're gonna say oh you're 50 years old you can't do that anymore bullshit
bullshit okay that's you know go back if you go back a hundred years yeah bullshit 50-year-old
because that was you were you were probably on your death bed at 50 but nobody knows nobody knows
what why who who says at 50 you can't be the guy that kicks in that door and be the the number one
man in i you know given right now in the shape that i'm getting into right now it's like shit
i could go do it again you know it's like and i should you know i don't know i just i find it
absolutely hilarious i didn't even think about that when you said that that is a really good
point that you said military age male because in the intel world we were looking for anybody between
the ages of like 14 15 to 60 like if you're a 60 year old 59 60 year old afghan male we were looking
at you with a gun in our hand going that is a plausible threat like yes you or not or completely
not because he didn't he didn't maintain his status as a military exactly like you could be
exactly and so i think that is absolutely hilarious that if the ball like the flare were to go up
the ball like you know hey we're going it's happening yeah well i encourage every every
military guy i encourage every military guy listening to this if you're not go become a
military age male again go you you did it before you're capable of doing it you know what it took
if you became special forces you know what it's like to become special force you can do that you
you remember being that and becoming that strong guy you you have it in you go get it for you for
yourself for your family for everybody mostly if anything for you go be that military go become
that warrior that you are be the be warrior if you're you know you be a military age male don't
be the somebody that when somebody walks in the house they push they look you outside like nah
i'm not where i have be a threat be you you're you can't be there's there's it's like they say it's
like you know if you're if you have no fighting capability you're not a peaceful man you're a
wussy you're weak nothing the only person who's a peaceful man is a person who's capable of fighting
in war all right and they can they can choose to be peaceful but if you're your only opportunity
is to be peaceful you're not peaceful you are what you are you choose to be peaceful you have no
choice you're not a you're that guy on the target that we completely dismiss is not
hey that that's the Jordan Peterson quote or whatever but it yeah yeah i mean you just made
it sound a hundred times better by being like you're not a you're you're not a peaceful man
you can't decide between peace and war you're you're a pussy like you don't have you don't you
sorry if you're not you're well i get on target and i look at you i'm like no he's out of
threat if you take one of your support guys and go cover him you know the the guy who the guy you
brought along and you know who's the s1 who is assigned to your team and you decided to take
him out on target one time and he's out and he's like the number 27th guy coming through the door
you say watch that guy because you know he's ass yeah he's like even though even the paper guy
but hey that that's that's it man that's like a two and a half hour podcast for you the listeners
out there um and it's it's out there to the world um usually what we like to do is we like to like
take good podcasts like this and go if you want the rest of it subscribe to the page around and
pay up mother right but this one's free get the word out that uh you know you're back out there
and uh you're doing your thing and people can root for you uh you're in the discord too so
if you want um so i've got competitions coming up this fall um they'll be in the text channels
training camp so if you join the patreon uh i'll probably have chief in here posting his stuff if
he's not posting i will post it to make you feel like shit so if you join the patreon get in the
discord um his stuff's gonna be in here to make you get out there and do something so that uh you
know you don't be a pussy you become a threat go be a military hmail so that's it guys uh cheers