Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Ally Gets IVF Shot From Gary's Robot Arm (FULL SHOW 7/17)

Episode Date: July 17, 2026

This show goes down as one of the top 5 weirdest of all time. Longtime listener one-arm Gary, who's had one arm for 40 years, received a new robot arm from the doctor today and debuted it on our show. It was janky, broken, and apparently cost him $40,000. Regardless, he celebrated by using it to help Ally administer her final IVF shot (she can finally stop her meds this weekend!) It was risky, awkward, and you can get it with the visual on the YouTube live stream We also officially remade Jake's Bumble and Tinder profiles. One was made by Johnny and one made by Ally & Vanessa. They will both be live soon and we'll see which profile gets more matches. Klein uncovered a strange new fashion trend while out to dinner with his wife. She was wearing a 'draping sweater,' aka a sweater that isn't worn, only draped. We also debuted a new game called Odyssey or Audacy? Is it a review for our company, or Christopher Nolan's new epic film The Odyssey? It might just be the easiest game we've ever done...

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you got to go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Hey, what's going on, Klein Alley?

Are you ready? I love Klein Alley, you little bitch. Klein Alley, it's just okay. Just don't let things bother you too much. Good morning, everybody. Hey, what up, Klein Alley? Whoa, sweet divot snake, did you see that? Beautiful Klein Alley Show.

Let's get the show started. The show started. show started we are live in los angeles three two one and here we go the panties you ruined my hole this is aria jay eggs okay dino it's not about that monday tuesday no one cares about wednesday moment I'm a nender. Forget that. Are you ready for the weekend?

Are you ready for the rear end? Yeah. Are you ready for the weekend? Are you ready for the rear end? Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, trash. Thursday, Friday, forget about that. Friday, Sunday, Wednesday. Sunday, sleeping in.

Eating brunch. Boobies. A good night. Four years, Rambo. Tom's Hawk? Tom's Hawk? It's the beach or it's the mall Well, friends do nothing at all

Sleep in, watch movies, read books Anything goes, just take a look Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah! Are you ready for the rear end? Go! Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah!

Are you ready for the rear end? Go! Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah! Are you ready for the rear end? Go! Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah!

Are you ready for the rear end? Fine Alley Show, some things aren't worth it. It's Klein Alley Show. 106.7, KROQ FM in HD Pasadena, Los Angeles, Orange County. The Sonic Pulse of Los Angeles. This is the world famous KROQ. Thank God it's Friday. Oh yeah, welcome to your weekend.

Good morning, Klein Alley Show. I'm KROQ. How the hell goes it? My name's Klein, there's Alley. Morning. That is Jake the Nerd over there, DJ Omar Khan. You've got Postmaster Johnny and Producer Vanessa. If you're watching us right now as we are streaming live on YouTube,

you'll see some of the new merch that will be not only debuting today, but we'll be giving it to you. And thank you to our friends at the Print Guru for hooking us up with all of these amazing new Klein Alley Show limited edition pieces, including the alleys rocking the 323 tip Boli hat. I will say, Print Gurus, you have outdone yourselves this time. They made us some great merch in the past. I believe they're the ones who also made us the tiny towels,

the Vanessa Tiny Load Towels, her favorite thing. And the plushies. I'm going to show you what my hat says. My hat, Allie, was inspired by you. I think it's maybe the greatest of the new collection. But take a peek at this. Hold on. I took my headphones off.

Maffa. Make Allie fat again. There's the Maffa hat for you. There it is. Looking at the camera. I'm maxing for the camera right now in my Make Allie fat again hat. These only come in three sizes. Torta, X-Torta, and XXX-Torta.

So you decide which size you want. Yeah, you can decide, but these are the official Make Alley Fat Again hats, and she's doing her part. She said she is eating a lot. I'm already up a pound just this week. A pound? Oh, I wanted to finish the M&M's. Hop on the scale, I would say. We've got pizza coming today for you also, as we're fattening you up and Jake up at the same time.

But the 323 tip bully hats come in all sizes. Jake, Johnny, can you come in here and model the shirt you're wearing? Look at this. Johnny's going to come in. This is Johnny. Look at Johnny right here. Jesus, man. You're like over the moon on how good Johnny looks.

You're so cool, man. Look at the straight shirt. This is the official I have never been intimate with Jake shirt. Available in two colors. We got it in yellow and we got it in white with black font. I'm going to break his behind. It's a great shirt. Look at that thing.

Everyone who's never been intimate with Jake is eligible to wear this shirt. You'll wear it proudly. It's a beautiful day today at K-Rock. We've got some new merch for you. We'll be giving it to you throughout the show. If you're not here for the merch, don't worry. We'll get you Disneyland tickets coming up later this morning as well. I love the yellow.

It's great. Oh, it's black shirt. We did, once again, I'd love to take credit, but knocked it out of the park. This is the other hat, Allie, we haven't shown yet. The Sweet Divots, the old school. A classic. The original Sweet Divots hat. First ever hat line we've done.

And this is, by the way, nothing for sale. A lot of people are asking, how much? Where's my money? No, no, not for sale. We will give this all to you, and we'll be doing it throughout the show today because we are a show that likes to give more than we like to receive because this company will not let us receive anything. So here we go.

Let's start with this message on the go line. Hi, Klein. Hi, Allie. Friday is my birthday. and nothing would make me happier than hearing the OG Weekend song. If that could please be played on the radio, nothing would make my day better. I'm not talking the remixed one. I'm talking the one with the guitar and Klein singing.

It is excellent. If you could please play it. Thank you. Sadly, I don't think we have that original one anymore because ever since it got remixed by Crystal Method for the one that you just heard a few moments ago, The one that we start and end the show with on Fridays We got rid of the original

Because the original one was so terrible I have it here, I just found it You don't have it And we don't do birthday song requests Let's see how much we can suffer through this thing It's a minute and ten I know It's a minute and nine seconds too long

It's not about that Monday or Tuesday No one cares about Wednesday Thursday Get that noise are you ready for the weekend are you ready for the rear end are you ready for the weekend yeah are you ready for the rear end you want me to keep going yes feels okay Tuesday Wednesday trash Thursday Friday forget about that Friday, Saturday, it's where it's at

And Sunday, sleeping in, eating brunch Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah Are you ready for the re-rent? No Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah Are you ready for the re-rent?

No Hit the beach or hit the mall? Oh yeah Grow up with friends, do nothing at all Sleep in, watch movies, read books Anything goes, just take a look Are you ready for the weekend? Yeah

Are you ready for the re-rent? No All right, well, that was the original one. I haven't heard that in its entirety, maybe ever. I kind of forgot that, like, the lyrics even took you by surprise in some of those verses. If you don't give Crystal Method, Crystal Method doesn't win every Grammy ever this year for what they were able to do with that. It would be truly remarkable. The fact that he could even take it and put it on the beat is incredible.

I know that. Kind of like autotune it, too. Yes. Hopefully that made that woman's birthday better, because it definitely did not make anyone else's day better, including this person who claims the weekend song has potentially ruined their professional career. Okay, so I took my manager out for lunch today, and she got in my car, and my car started automatically playing the last podcast I was listening to, and it was at the very end of last Friday's show, and all of a sudden the weekend song comes on,

and you hear Vanessa go eggs and then Allie goes we have to hurt and then Klein goes would not all back to back and I just looked at her and she looked at me and kind of raised eyebrows and I said that's a weird commercial

and I just kind of kept playing and giggled and just put something else on like a serious XM just the first button I could push so you're doing great you're growing your audience slowly but surely she doesn't know it yet, but she's going to love you. I doubt it.

Love you guys. Just wanted to share. Thanks. Thank you for that. Don't ever listen to this show with your boss. We have the hurt. Oh, there it is. And good night.

That's for you. Wow. Almost on it today. That is the audio sniper. Can't believe that created an awkward situation. No kidding. That's weird. That's K-Rock.

Happy Friday. Welcome to your $5 million Friday. It's K-Rock. We are Klein Alley Show. Allie's got some money, but that is about to become your money, and it's Friday, so it's $500. So get ready to call in and claim it. All you've got to do is answer some questions about the news and do better than Allie, and she will instantly give you $500 of her money.

She's not happy about it. I don't know how the $500 Fridays began, but I remember she was not here the day we started it. I think I was. You just weren't listening to me saying, I don't want to do this. I'm sorry. Are you talking? Yeah. But the thing is, I have been on a winning streak, and I know that that's frustrating,

especially with Lionel Messi. Everyone's like, oh, this guy can't lose, and he makes you so mad. Then study up and beat me. So, once again, the answers are all out there. It's all stuff happening in the news. Perhaps I say, which farm is responsible for everyone having that exploding ass? And you'd say, Taylor Farms. That could have been one of the questions, but it won't be.

If you know the answers to these questions, which we will ask you in a moment, you will get $500 of Allie's money. And keep in mind, Allie's got a lot of flaws. There's a lot of things about her that people don't like. And I want you to understand that she is not your friend here, even though it's easy to root for the pregnant woman. She is the enemy, and this guy has proven this. Listen closely.

I can tolerate a lot of Allie's disgusting, urinating, chump-loving, long neck, peeing in the pool, you know, hating Mexicans, putting down women. I could tolerate all that. But her disliking naps? Wow. I can't. You're a monster, Allie.

You're a monster. Egg! Time to slay the monster. I mean, Allie, all of those things that guy has accused you of are 100% true and accurate. No, none of that is true. The only thing that is true. I love Trump, ba-da-ba-da-ba. That's, all right.

That was an out of context. I was talking about somebody else. But I do not like naps. That is correct. So, I want to. Everything else was false. Allie has said a lot of things derogatory towards women. Women should not be coaching because they are less physically strong and unable to judge what athletes should be doing.

I was talking about a coach saying that. What did you agree with? No, I didn't say I agree. I was just talking about it. She said this, and offending most of our audience. By the way, I hate Hispanic people. Oh, my God. Burn.

That was a hypothetical. She's a loose cannon, this one. So I'm warning you right now. All of these quotes are 100% in context. And if you need a reason to take... They're not in context. If you need a reason to take her money, call now and claim her money. Because she is a monster, as this guy pointed out a moment ago.

If you want $100, excuse me, $500, it's a $500 Friday. Call now. Five questions about the news. Do better than Allie and get paid after this. The $500 Friday is finally here. Chance for you to get $500 richer if you're not through on the phones now or do not win the money. Fear not. We have Disneyland tickets for you coming up later this morning.

A four-pack. Also, Evanescence. We get you into that as well. And if we have time, we'll try to squeeze in around and beat your boss. A chance for you to go toe-to-toe with your actual boss to win an extra day off of work, which would mean you don't have to go in today. and tickets to something fun to do this weekend. So lots of opportunities to win.

And I know a lot of people on the YouTube right now that are watching us are asking about this limited edition Klein Alley Show merch that they're seeing. We are modeling it. Alley's got the 3-2-3 tip Bowley hat. I'm wearing the Make Alley Fat Again hat. You've got Johnny in the I've Never Been Intimate with Jake shirt. So many stupid things that have been actually made and will be yours, and we'll start giving those away in moments.

In fact, let's go ahead and give something away to whoever wins this round of Alley Knows the News. $500 for the winner, but if they lose, they'll at least leave here with some limited edition merch. Decent consolation prize. Great consolation prize. Some would argue worth more. I mean, there's people offering more than $500 for this crap, and trust me when I say it is definitely not worth it.

Here's just a message, Allie, to get inside your head before we start the round. Hey, Klein, when Ellie's masturbating down the freeway, it's not the 101. It's the 101. Oh, oh, oh. Allie, you're looking hot anyways. Love the show. Bye. Weird-ass call, man. Wasn't pervy at all.

You have to deal with that while you try to battle John in Anaheim. Good morning, John. Hey, what's up, guys? $500 with your name on it. However, if you lose, don't worry. You will not leave empty-handed. We will send you off with some limited edition brand-new Klein Alley Show merch. What is the item you'd like?

Would you like a I've-never-been-intimate-with-Jake T-shirt, a 323-tip-bully hat, a Sweet Divots hat, or the Make Alley Fat Again hat? Let's do the Sweet Divots. Sweet Divots. Oh, classic. Keeping it classic. All right, so once again, a prize for you regardless, just for being on the air with us.

We'll be giving away a lot of stuff today. Let's get into it. Allie, we'll leave the KROQ Studios five questions. Once again, $500 definitely worth more than this hat. I hope you win, and here we go. Allie knows the news. How is Krispy Kreme celebrating their 89th birthday? Ooh.

Shoot. Buy one, get one, dozen. Buy one, get one, dozen? Sure. For what price? A cent. A penny. One penny.

All right. We've got a question number two. System of a Down has blamed England's loss in the World Cup on which band? They shoot. U2. U2. We've got a question number three. This iconic movie prop

that's just sold at auction for $3.75 million, which iconic movie prop just brought in close to $4 million? Jesus. We'll say a lightsaber. Oh. That's a good guess.

Go to question number four. Local man from Thousand Oaks, who also happens to be a Harvard law student, is on a bit of a winning streak currently on Jeopardy. He's made over $300,000. And how many rounds of Jeopardy has he won in a row?

He's still alive, by the way. How many in a row has he already won? Nine. Nine. And we go to your final question. Who is favored currently to win the World Cup on Sunday? England.

England. All right. Let's score it together. We will bring Ali in and hopefully you win. But if not, you leave with a hat and you'll be the first official person to have a Sweet Dibbets ad. And don't worry if you're jealous.

We'll give more of those away throughout the day today. Send Allie in, and let's go ahead and have her battle out this guy. Everyone wanted Allie's money. Everyone said they were up for the challenge. But John was selected in Anaheim, representing the people. Question one, Allie. Yeah. How is Krispy Kreme celebrating their 89th birthday?

They are selling 89-cent dozens, I believe, because they can't do 89-cent donuts. They're already free. Right, that would be a rip-off. $0.89, you're giving these things for free. You're increasing the price? So here's the answer, and I feel bad here, because John said buy a dozen, get a dozen, and Allie said they're giving $0.89 dozens.

But you're kind of both right, because you do have to buy a dozen at full price, and then you get the $0.89 dozen. Oh, really? He said a cent. I'm going to go ahead and say that's a tie after one, because I like John, and I hope he gets your money. But let's go ahead and move to question number two, and congratulations. For everyone who got question number one kind of right,

But that's the way they're promoting it, is the 89-cent dozen. Also, 89 years is not something. That's something. Yeah, I know, but wait for 90. But Krispy Kreme, you know, they're always looking for a reason to give away stuff. Oh, my God. System of a Down is blaming England's loss in the World Cup on what band? Oh, I think they said blame Oasis, right?

That is the correct answer. He said you must blame Oasis. Every time after winning a game, they would all join forces and belt out some Oasis. And as a result, System of a Down said to a pretty, the audience turned on him pretty quickly. Because I think it was England. Yeah, you're not happy about it. Allie's right. He guessed U2.

Allie goes up one. John, you got to turn this around. Allie's up 2-1 right now as we go to question three. This iconic movie prop has just sold an auction for $3.75 million. It's probably a lightsaber or some crap. So funny. He said probably a lightsaber or some crap too. It's so funny that you guys think that is the most iconic of the movie props

and someone's going to pay close to $4 billion. The correct answer. What is it, Indiana Jones' whip? A Luke Skywalker lightsaber. Oh, no way. Both of you got the point. There you go. Used on screen.

Congratulations. Allie's still up one with two questions left. Here we go. Nerds got money. Local man from Thousand Oaks. He's on a bit of a heater right now on Jeopardy. He's made over $300,000. He's a Harvard Law student.

And how many games of Jeopardy in a row has he won? He's still alive. God, no idea. Ten? Wow, is that a guess? Yeah. He guessed nine. The correct answer is ten.

Whoa. Ten. Look at me. Ali is on one today. Look at me. Rob, that makes me angry every time I hear that phrase now. Look at me. No, shut up, you.

Enjoy your coat. And this final question. Who is favored to win the World Cup on Sunday? Oh, probably Argentina. It's closer than you'd think, but currently the odds on favorites are Argentina to win again. So Ali gets the point. He guessed England. England is playing the loser game on Saturday where they'll be playing France.

That's so funny that they're doing that. Yeah, but anyway, John, you put in a decent effort. Sadly, you don't get $500, but you are leaving here not empty-handed. So congratulations. I'm holding it up and showing the YouTube audience now, but this is the brand-new still vacuum seal. That's a Sweet Divots original Klein Alley Show hat. It's coming to you in Anaheim.

So hold on one second and congratulations. What else must you shamefully admit over the airwaves of K-Rock? Go ahead. My name's John, and Allie knows the news. Honk, honk. Honk, honk. Well said. This is Julia Wolf.

Maybe you've never heard it before. Maybe you heard it first on KROQ. It's called In My Room. For those of you that say all we do is play Chili Peppers and Linkin Park, you are wrong. Every once in a while, we play something else. So here we go. Julia Wolf, In My Room on KROQ. Wolf on KROQ.

We are Klein Allie Show. You know, I talked about something a few years ago, and it was perhaps the dumbest concept I'd ever heard of before and every woman on the planet knew about it and it was completely new to me and it was a concept called standing pants and women apparently have pants

that they can only stand in. They can't sit in them. They're too tight. They're too tight. And they go up too high. They wear them for standing purposes and if they need to sit, I guess they either have to take them off

or unbutton them or something. How did you discover this? I forget. You were going to go to a restaurant? Yeah, we went to a restaurant and then they said, your table's ready and it was a restaurant bar

and my wife said, we have to eat at the bar standing. And I said, why is that? That's crazy. And she goes, because I'm only wearing my standing pants. And I said, you're what? I can't.

I got to go change into my sitting pants. I said, I've got pants that stand and sit. They look similar. But she said, no, trust me, women know about standing pants. And I talked about it. I said, no way anyone's ever heard of these. And a lot of people called it

and said, yeah, that's a true thing. Yeah, there's certain things that when you wear them, you just can't sit down. I don't wear things like that, but I've heard tell of this. There's a new, dumber thing that I just found out about, and this is as of yesterday, and boy, if this is real, please, someone else call and claim that this is real. I think it sounds made up, frankly, because the last time when I heard about standing pants, I said, this is made up, and then enough other people said that's a real thing that I go, wow, that's crazy.

It doesn't mean it should exist, but it does exist. How did she fit in the car, then, with standing pants? Great question, Omar. Apparently, the pants were— She laid on the hood. I put her in the trunk like a rolled up rug. Like a Christmas tree. I put the seat down in the back and rolled her down.

I think that the pants were unbuttoned at that time. Oh. Yeah, there's an unbuttonness. But if the shirt is not long enough to cover the unbuttoning, then the unbuttoning can only happen in a public place. Yeah, I know from experience because I've done that with sitting pants. Right. I mean, it's the stupidest thing I've ever heard, but apparently it's real. This one, I want to say, is ten times dumber.

Really? So it's been very hot the last few days. I live in the Valley. Even hotter there. Very hot. And we were kidless this week because my kids are away, which should have been amazing. It's not been amazing so far, but that may be changed just when I go to Vegas later. But I said, let's just sit around the house, even though I love sitting around the house.

We should get out and do something. So we went out to a restaurant, and it was hot. And the restaurant was hot. And you could see people in there, and everyone was hot. But the table they sat us at was right beneath a fan, a big blowing fan, ceiling fan, moving the heat around the restaurant. Felt like they didn't have AC, but the fan was definitely making it a little bit more comfortable. Everyone in there was hot. My wife was cold.

Oh, no. We sat down, and she goes, I am cold. There's no other tables. Do you think I can ask them to turn the fan down? I said, zero chance we can ask them to turn the fan down. Everybody else in the restaurant would be pissed. Everyone will hate us, and the reality is the fan is actually making this pleasant. Without the fan, this would be a terrible experience.

And I said, but good news, you have a sweater. Because she was wearing a tank top, and she had a sweater draped around her neck. Oh, decorative sweater? Okay, now hold on before you get there. I said, great news, you're cold. You got a sweater. You got a sweater. You've got a solution.

And she said, oh, no, this is not a wearing sweater. This is a draping sweater. Uh-huh. I said, you've got to be kidding me. What the hell is that? She goes, I couldn't put this on. I go, what are you talking about? It's got working.

Why can't you put it on? That doesn't fit? Is it like a baby size? She said, it's not for wearing. It's for draping. I said, what the hell is that? A draping sweater? It's like a throw.

Oh, like you put a blanket on a couch, but you can't use the blanket? It's just a decorative blanket? What the hell is that? It's just a presentational blanket. So I said, let me get this straight. Did anyone buy that sweater to wear it? Or is anyone who bought that sweater just wearing it around like a cape? And she said, some people may wear it, but it's not meant for that.

It's meant for draping. So it is a real sweater. It's not like closed. Like it has buttons and holes and everything? No, I said, let me see that sweater. I took off her draping sweater. I put my hands right through it. It's like a magician.

You see what's up? I put my hands through all the sleeves. I go, everything here works. What's going on? What's the issue here? You're cold. We've got a solution. And she goes, it would ruin the outfit, and it would look weird if I wore it because it's only meant to be draped.

I said, this is the stupidest. Now it's the new stupidest thing I ever heard. So people still do that. I thought that was like an old, you know, a preppy thing to wear, like the little sweater around your shoulders. Vanessa, you know better. Allie's obviously not a fashionista like you are, but is that back, the whole draped sweater thing? I feel like that's back.

Is Vanessa gone? To me. Oh, what's up, Vanessa? Sorry, your mic was off. What's up? Oh, I said, I haven't heard it, but this totally makes sense to me. Why should this make sense to anyone?

Because it makes the outfit. And if you put on the sweater, it's going to be simple, and then her outfit is ruined. It's the same goddamn outfit. It's the same outfit. What are you talking about? No, no, no, it's different. I'm seeing the sweater.

The draped sweater is giving her swag. with it on. It's just a regular outfit and your wife has fashion. I will never understand the world that we live in because I'm saying to her, I'm looking at the sweater. I'm seeing it. The only difference is instead of it being

around your back, you would be in it and comfortable. Like it's covering part of her arm so that part's warm. The sleeves are like crisscross applesauce. Oh my god, so she doesn't do the one little tie? Yeah, like that. Like a letterman sweater? No, not like tie. Like it's draped. It's draping. It's a draping sweater.

I said this is this is so she said and then does she ever wash it if it's just draping I don't think you have to wash it you just hang it back up and I said

I said that thing's amazing because when the food comes you could turn it around and it could be a bib but she said she could be a bullfighter she doesn't like any of these jokes and I said

so she sat there and her option was she just sat there cold what with the fan above us and by the way not cold still probably 85 degrees in there

and she just kept her draping sweater on because she didn't want to ruin it that's how much she loves fashion she's like i'm gonna sacrifice it suffer for it i just i don't understand stuff uh sacrificing comfort for style i will never understand that just just walking around uncomfortable all day and all night because you think it looks good but i think most uh not most but i think a lot of women that wear those shoes i mean they wear these shoes cannot be comfortable i see shoes constantly that look incredibly uncomfortable and women are choosing

to wear them because i would imagine it's a style over comfort thing right i think some people they brainwash themselves into thinking it's comfortable because if you do something uncomfortable enough you've brainwashed yourself into thinking like this is what's normal. I bet you this weekend I'll be able to disprove that because there's no place on the planet where you see more people the second they get out of a club

ripping their shoes off and holding them in their hands than in Vegas. Right. And everyone just seems miserably uncomfortable. Oh, I went to Vegas with a woman who sprained her ankle in her heels and still went to the club. In the sprained ankle with the heels.

It's crazy. I'll never get it. But then how do you, if you're in a store, I don't understand how you determine which one is the draping sweater and which one is a real sweater. Is there a draping sweater section? Like is it petite, athletic, drape? She said she bought it in a regular sweater section, but she knows it's meant for draping. And I said, that's the part that's crazy. So I literally saw a woman three tables away.

It looked like she was wearing a similar thing, but wearing it. And I was like, you could be like that person. Look how comfortable she looks. You could be like her in a sweater. All you've got to do is push. So once again, I'll never figure it out, but would you agree that draping sweater is dumber than standing pants? I think what we need to do is create a Klein Alley Show, I've never been intimate with Jake, draping sweater. That's our next bit of merch.

It's very on trend, so get ready for that. We've got to take a quick break. We're back in a second. We have news to get to, and then we have Disneyland tickets to get to, and much more, and it all starts after this. Jay Rock Klein Alley Show. First thing we do when we kick off a brand new hour is give away a piece of limited edition Klein Alley Show merch. so you can decide if you want one of our new hats, including the 323-tip-bully hat,

which was our limited-edition phone number for a 24-hour period when this company forgot to pay its phone bill. It's a very, very inside joke. Or we could get you a Sweet Divots hat or the Make Allie Fat Again Moffa hat as Allie gets pregnant. In fact, today, Allie's going to take her final jab, the final shot of progesterone in her butt. I finally get to stop because I got to stop when I was at 10 weeks,

and I'll be 10 weeks on Sunday, so this is the last on-air shot. And are you opposed to letting Jake... You know, Jake did your first shot, and he did such a terrible job at your first progesterone shot. It was painful. I believe that it set a bad precedent. And blood. And a lot of blood. And a lot of blood.

And swelling. That was when you were not successful in getting pregnant. We believe it all started with Jake, and he was the reason. Would you be opposed to letting Jake wrap things up with your final shot? Would that be poetic, or should we? Do you think you could do a better job, Jake? I'm scared. Great.

Let's do it. Jake, you just have to be gentle. You want to see if Blind Charlie wants to stop by and do your final shot? That'd be cool. Yeah, if Blind Charlie would stop by. Track down Charlie. See if he's in the streets holding a sign for the show today. If he wants to come by and give Allie the final jab.

Or if One-Armed Gary has his new arm. Oh, yeah. Is he coming by today with the new arm? I forgot. Today's the day. I'd accept any. Two-Armed Gary is going to be entering the K-Rock studios, we believe, at some point. And he can use his brand new arm to give me my final shot.

Allie and he are going to play a game of rock, paper, scissors for $1,000. I think my ass has no feeling anymore anyway, so have at it. Yeah, Vanessa, get on that behind the scenes and see if we can get one of our friends to come by and give Allie her final shot of progesterone in the butt as she is finally... I'm entering the next milestone, thank God. That's a big day. And will it be given to her by a one-armed Gary with a new arm or a blind Charlie or the worst option, Jake? We'll get into this now, your news. Grab your Adderall.

It's time for ADD News. The people of West Hollywood have been figuring out what to do after that giant pipe burst yesterday. The flooding, the sinkhole, all of it is a complete mess that will take months to clean up. And people are now figuring out how to file their damage claims for their cars, their apartments, their work equipment, etc. But let me highlight just a couple of truly tragic stories that took place yesterday. Like all of these people who got in line for the Supreme drop, only to find that it was delayed because of the flood. I don't know if we could show them, Howard, the Supreme Clothing Store right here. They actually have a major drop on Thursdays.

So there's actually two people. Right, come on over, guys. These two guys were waiting in front of the store. You guys came for that drop at the Supreme Clothing Store, but you don't even know if they're going to open right now. It's a tragic day on Sunset Boulevard. Unfortunately, we had to park around like a mile, half a mile away, and we walked here. Unfortunately, we came from the IE, the Inland Empire, for the Supreme job, and we don't know what's happening. This is like a big event in Supreme history, summer, spring 2026.

And, like, we don't know what's going on. Man, tragic day upon the walk of your life. We will rebuild. Especially, like, the Supreme summer scale. All the items are on sale, discounts. It's crazy that they allowed this to happen. Did you hear that, city of L.A.? You allowed this to happen.

It's going to be a class action lawsuit against LADWP from all the people that were waiting for Supreme Drop. Do you also feel bad for this woman who bought a brand new car? You shared with me you had just purchased a brand new car. Yeah. My dream car is in there submerged in water. Oh, my. That I feel bad about because that sucks. And then do you feel bad for this man who was trying to save his leather shoes and then he fell down?

As I'm coming down to save my leather shoes, I slipped and I fell. and um take us through your morning i know this has been so the street and there was geysers and geysers and geysers the whole street was a river there geysers and geysers and geysers i want to hear what his girlfriend has to say about this about his leather shoes i'm coming down to save my leather shoes uh i slipped so i'll take a moment of silence here on k-rock for this guy's leather shoes one of the many victims of the west hollywood floods of yesterday he tried to save them but then he slipped It's shocking because he seems so athletic

I would say the guy saving the leather shoes And the guys waiting for the supreme drop Are different in every way Yeah, yeah, very different We haven't had a good betting scandal in a while And this one is a political betting scandal Let's go As you know, you can bet on absolutely everything these days

If you have any kind of inside intel You could make real money And Trump's teleprompt operator Has been betting on his speeches For years Oh, that's so shady. And making a ton of money because he is one of the few people who knew what he was going to say. Of course, I'm sure he's still lost a lot of times because Trump goes off prompter probably 80% of the time.

Yeah, but if it's over, under, on length of speech, if he knows he's going to bring up certain countries, he's going to mention this tax thing. Like last night, will he bring up voter fraud? He knew that he would because he's the one doing his speeches. Damn, that's good. Often the final eyes looking at the teleprompter and even doing last-minute edits just from him and Trump. So him and Trump are the only people who know exactly what's going to be said right in those final minutes. So he made over $100,000 over the course of 10 years. He's been his teleprompter guy since 2016.

And now, because I was curious if this guy's going to face jail time, but he's, I guess, trying to settle the allegations with the CFTC. So it's like federal regulators. I don't know if that means you're, like, going to go to prison. You would maybe have to pay back the money, which, you know, is probably long spent by now. Right. But, I mean, that, you think about, like, for instance, I know that one of the bets I lost recently was on the weather. And you can bet on the over-under of weather. Just think about that statement.

I've thought about it. But it's only the weather as it is delivered from LAX. It has to be the LAX weather. And there was an over-under one day. It was, like, 89. And I knew it was going to get higher than that in the Valley. And then I put in the bet, and then it was, you have to look at the fine print, but it basically is the official weather as reported by one specific weather station at LAX.

That's the one you have to go with. But you're betting on the weather in a certain, like in your city, or what? It was LA. I was betting on the weather in LA. Yes, but that was the one specifically that they needed. So I thought I crushed it because I was like, 89, it's already 89. And then it came down to like an 88.5, just under. I mean, it was just a terrible loss for me.

Good thing you're going to Vegas, where you can make up for all of it. That's right. Good point. Savannah Bananas have gained a cult following over the years. They've converted a few fans on this show, even. We attended a game earlier this year. They lost a fan. Omar was a huge fan before he went to the game.

Now he's not a fan. He's out. There's no fire. So every year, their tours, I guess you'd call them tours, get bigger and bigger. But there's this weird turn happening, because they continue to blow up. Savannah Banana players are now on Dancing with the Stars. A lot of them are making their TV debuts, and they just performed the opening ceremony at the ESPYs. Some of the reviews for this performance are, quote,

This is absolutely unbearable. Literally couldn't watch it for more than four seconds without wanting to rip my eyes out. They are such a played-out group that has no business being anywhere near national television. And this was their choreographed performance of their first original song. So they're not doing, you know, the hits, which is really, if you go to a game, It's just them playing, like, kind of 90s and 2000s throwbacks and doing backflips. But this is their original song. Now, imagine this with the guy with stilts.

They're going to get sued by Imagine Dragons. Yeah, I know. And I guess it's, like, from a Broadway producer, and it's a whole, it's very theatrical, obviously. It sounds like it's from The Greatest Showman is what it sounds like. Yes, and it's also the guy who did Greatest Showman. But then they're also doing backflips, and they've got the stilts guy, and then they've got the guy with the red cape, and then there's another guy with farmer overalls,

and it just all looks so weirdly cringey, gimmicky. And in a baseball field, it's like fun gimmicky. The highlight of the ESPYs was when Mike Tyson did not know that Shohei Otani was a guy. Oh, yeah. That's one of the greatest clips. He won the award, and he's like, that's a man? That was the best. We get into a brand new hour of the show right now,

and we are less than an hour away from getting you and three of your friends and or relatives into Disneyland. Welcome to your weekend. Here we go. This is the world famous K-Rock. Hell yeah, just after 8 o'clock on a Friday morning, lots to get to this hour, including a brand new game that Allie has been working on

called Odyssey or Odyssey. Is it a review? Reviews of the amazing Odyssey movie that everyone says is the greatest thing that's ever been put on the big screen or this company that we work for spelled differently but pronounced the same, Odyssey.

And Allie, why don't you give us a tease right now so people can start to get ready for the big game. Do you think this was written about our company or about the new movie, Odyssey? It is a hot mess express. That could be either, but I'm going to assume because this movie seems to be universally loved

by everyone who's seen it. I don't even know what it's about. I just know that it's apparently a masterpiece. You don't know the story of the Odyssey? I mean, I know the story of the original Odyssey. Yeah, that's what it is. Oh. Well, in that case, the Hot Mess Express has to be about this company.

That's correct. Okay, I believe it. So, we'll get to that game a little bit later this hour. And also, we said Disneyland tickets in your future as well. We have that to get to yesterday. What about they have achieved something I admittedly thought was near impossible and has changed the entertainment industry forever? Definitely not this company.

Oh, I was going to say us for sure. That's got to be the movie Odyssey, I would think. That's correct. All right, well, anyway, we've got that game coming up later this hour, a chance for you to win some of this limited edition Klein Alley Show merch that you're currently looking at right now on YouTube. Welcome, if you're listening and streaming, or maybe you're listening to this after the fact on a podcast.

Thank you regardless. This person wanted to leave a message about something that happened on yesterday's show. Hey, what's up, guys? Just finished today's episode. I just had a call in for the first time, specifically for that part today where Klein was talking about his imposter dentist or doctor, whoever that guy was, trying to show him his penis. And, yeah, it was probably the hardest I've ever laughed.

I don't know, it's just me. No one tried to show me their penis. Allie was joking that this dentist I'm going to that may select me for this very exclusive opportunity That's your next appointment. to have my mouth pried open. Allie assumed that this was, it was not a sexual thing. Maybe it's just me, but that was so funny.

Allie just poking jokes, and then when Jake said the bald guy thing, I just screamed it over the top. Yeah, how to let you guys know that was hilarious. Keep it up. And, Klein, yeah, let us know if you get, quote, unquote, selected for this scam. Yeah, I love you guys. Before you all have a laugh, Allie, I will let you know that the actual dentist left a message on the GOAT line as well.

Oh, good. You heard from him. I've been going to. He sees me before the show to see if I'm qualified for this limited edition special snore treatment. Hey, Klein, it's me, your new dentist. Just wanted to go over your results. They might be hard to swallow over the phone, and you might not want to go down that road. But, again, it's a mouthful, but I'm willing to go slow,

and I really want to finish this conversation face-to-face, I guess. So let me know. Again, it's something we can go down and review. But anyways, I want to see you soon. And Felicia Salad. Felicia Salad. That's not a real dentist. Every legitimate doctor or dentist calls the goat line.

That's the only way we get our medical advice on the show. So anyway. That guy's real. I have not been selected yet for this mouth-opening procedure. Well, you have to wait three days, right? That's the rule. I got to get my chi right. We got lots to get into.

So thanks for starting your day with us. You can watch. You can listen. or you can change the station and regret it forever because we've got tons of merch to give you this hour and Evanescence tickets all coming up on KROQ. KROQ, we are a client of Ali's show. In a moment, we're going to break down Jake's dating profile,

which we already did and found out it's in terrible shape. So Ali took a shot. Ali and Vanessa worked together to put a female touch on it and give him a brand-new dating profile, which Jake will attempt to use. Meanwhile, Johnny also said, listen, I'm more in touch with what's going on in the dating world, even though I'm committed.

You know, Johnny's got a girlfriend now, but he said, I'm going to help Jake put a riz-tastic. I think he said, what did you say, Johnny? He said something. I don't even understand. You were going to riz up his profile or something? Jizz, a jug of jizz. No, riz.

I'm going to help share the riz with Jake. You're going to share Jake's riz or something. So anyway. Is that why you put hashtag GLP1 gang in his profile? Stop blowing the load early. Wait. Yeah, wait till he. Wait.

I'm saying blowed, Johnny. Wait till he premieres this. This will be happening in a moment. So if you're single or perhaps you are thinking about your own dating profile now and thinking maybe it's not working the way you want it to, in a moment you're going to hear some pretty insightful information from Vanessa and Allie. By the way, did you and Vanessa get along when doing this or did you guys fight about it? Oh, no. You all agreed on everything? I think we're good, right, Vanessa?

Yeah, we are good. Vanessa, you think Jake has a better shot now than he did with his previous profile? Yes, but one of the photos, I know it was for comedy's sake. If I saw that photo, I'd be like, next. But I understand what we're doing here. Some girls like that. I don't. There's a few options here.

It's a great tease. We'll come back with that in just a moment. And if you want to get yourself some of this limited merch, I did say we'd kick off the hour by giving you some. So right now, if you are looking at this or listening, driving around, and you say to yourself, I could use a new hat and or shirt, the rule on the shirt is that you must prove that you've never been intimate with Jake the Nerd. And if you can prove that, we will give you one right now. 800-520-1067. And you can prove it by just telling us.

And we've got two different colors. It's yellow and white. Jake, do you have a preference as to which one you like better? I've never been intimate with... I hate them both equally. Right. Well, I think they're great. They're awesome.

And we'll come back, give one of those away, and then your chance to win all sorts of stuff, including these hats, when we get into the game, which will be later this hour. So stick around. More show after this quick break on KROQ. I'm going to play your song in a moment. I know you want the music.

Jennifer? Yes? What can we do for you? I have never been intimate with Jake the Nerd. Okay, great. We don't know that. I believe we do. Play the odds on this one.

Anything you'd like to say to prove that before we give you this shirt? I'm a gay butch chick. That should prove it enough. I'm a big butch chick. Yeah, that doesn't mean Jake wouldn't have his way with you if he had the chance. None of these are off the table. No, I can take them. All right.

Hold on one second. Even if he had a twin sister, I probably wouldn't hit it. Okay. Well, Jake's got a thing for his own sister, so hold on one second. That's not true either. I'm going to give you one of those shirts. Hey, Grace, quickly as well. A lot of women are calling demanding what is the new must-have shirt of the summer.

What's up, Grace? Hey. Yeah, I have not been intimate with Jake because I've been in rehab the entire time I've lived in California. That sounds hot. So, Jake, shut up, you weirdo. Are you still in rehab now, or are you out? I'm out now. Congrats.

All right, good for you. I want to relapse. Jake, shut up. We're going to send you a shirt, okay? All right. All right. You can wear this shirt proudly that you've never been intimate with Jake. Very excited about all of the people.

Look at all these people. Wow, there's no shortage. Every line, there's people that want to wear a shirt. And I get it. We can't give them all away. We can't blow our load just like Jake and give them all away right now. But we'll have more of them coming up in moments. And if you haven't won anything from us yet today,

Disneyland tickets in about 30 minutes. And all of this new Klein Alley Show merch will be given away coming up later this hour as well. Right here on KROQ. So I've never been intimate with Jake. What a beautiful, beautiful message. That was the first time we heard that phrase. It was from the mom tender.

It was on the GOAT line. And she wanted to make sure everyone knew loudly and proudly after a terrible rumor got started that maybe that was Jake's succulent girlfriend, that she's just a regular listener of the show. and now her husband thinks that maybe she was having some sort of illicit affair with Jake, but that's not the case, and so we got these shirts made. In fact, please call the mom tender and make sure she gets one of these shirts

because she was the inspiration for the I've-never-been-intimate-with-Jake shirts, and Jake is sick and tired of being the laughingstock of the world of sex, and as a result... And the world at large. He's decided to give control of his dating profile to Allie and Vanessa because the one he was currently using, which was on Facebook Dating, was not going well for him, and he got banned because he was the most aggressive swiper in the history of Facebook.

I got banned for a day. I had to calm down. And then it did result, I mean, even after looking at his profile, I can't believe he matched with anybody, but he did even match with somebody, and then the date didn't go well. So we definitely need to throw out the original profile and start over. And she was hot, too, supposedly. According to Jake, she was hot.

But he forced her to go to one of his hard rock shows, and she wanted no part of it. And she probably even said that to him, but he doesn't listen because he's so stubborn. Yeah, and he just wants to take any girl to do what he already planned on doing. There's no thought into... What she might like. Right, there's zero thought. Or finding something a little more neutral and then leaning into the things that you like doing.

Who was the girl you left in the hospital when you went to that Tool concert? It wasn't Tool. It was Nightish Nails. And she wasn't in the hospital. She just got out of the hospital. That was my ex. So we picked a few new pictures. and mainly all of the pictures on your Instagram are of you with your dog.

We need like one with your dog, maybe two. But if you have every single picture with your dog, it looks like you're a weird dog freak. That's what I am. But, Allie, don't you think, though, that when he shows up on the date and he is going to have the dog with him because he – Jake, you bring the dog out on first dates, obviously. I take it everywhere.

Right. So don't you think that that already is going to be – Yeah, but at least try and cover it up a little bit with your charm and let them figure it out for themselves that he's a weird dog freak. They're not even going to give... Have you met Jake? Yeah, but they're not even...

There's no ounces of charm there. There's so much charm. There's no charm. There's no charm. I know, but at least if you're having a conversation with somebody already, you got them in person. Like, if you put it all in your profile, no one's even going to go on a date with you.

Right, Vanessa? If someone... Correct! Sorry, I was going through the door. Vanessa jumped out a window of the building. I mean, it was too many pictures with the dog, right? Yeah, like, girls like dogs, trust me. But just give me two.

No, not you. Am I yelling? Yes. Sorry, not all the photos. Like, come on, buddy. Give me... But I'm just... Give me just a glimpse of your other life.

But here's the thing. Everyone is experienced at this point. You meet someone... You look at someone's dating profile, and the actual version of that person who shows up is nothing. Either doesn't look like them, or everything that you thought,

because they put a profile together just to get you, and then that's not them. The fact that Jake has every picture with his dog, I think, is at least honest because he is going to show up on the first date wearing a dog, and I think a lot of women are going to be like, oh, my God. Yeah, but... What is that about? I'm interested in what you think, Vanessa, because I know you've been catfished before, and a lot of people present something different online than they are in real life.

But in Jake's case, I feel like he should bend the truth a little. Yeah, just to help you out, buddy. Just to help... To get you some matches. Just a few matches. Jake, before Allie breaks down what they've done to your profile, and then Johnny's going to give you his input as well. Vanessa, true or false, when you banged the chef in the car, in the parking lot. That didn't happen.

Do you remember I shared that on a vacation? He was not wearing a dog, correct? Well, allegedly, no. Right. Just saying, the proof is in the pudding right there. Vanessa's date showed up no dog, and she had sex with him right there in the car parking lot. That's not true. He wasn't right there.

Jake, if it meant that you were going to have a long-term girlfriend and regular sex, would you leave the dog home every once in a while? I don't know. I didn't think about it. I mean, you have to broaden your horizons a little bit. I think that there aren't as many people who are okay with somebody having their dog with them at all times, 100% of the time. I don't know. Well, then you're not okay with me. So, some of the pictures I chose...

We're going to have to get a lot more of these shirts made. The one I chose of him with the dog, he's just... The dog's on his lap. It's not in a backpack or anything. Whoa, how fat is he in that picture? No, I actually asked A.I. to make him a little more muscular and attractive. What? Oh, A.I. did that? Yeah.

It made me fat. Well, no, it's muscle. No, he looks like one sandwich away from being overweight. Okay, well, he looks skinny in this other one that I picked, which is him, I think, maybe 20 years ago. Yeah, that's a good picture. What is this picture from? You're holding a license plate? He's holding a license plate at Washington State Alumni. Is that when you were in college, Jake, this picture?

No, that was during the Apple Cup, maybe 2020, 2021. See, he looks good in this picture. That's only five years ago? Look how put together he looks. He looks like just a cool guy, right? Well, he's got sleeves on his shirt, which is nice. And he's not wearing flip-flops. Yeah.

This third one is him in his work environment, but I asked AI again to make him more muscular and shirtless. Oh, wow. And he is rather sweaty, but this is the one that Vanessa and I don't agree on. There are some people that are going to like this photo, and some people wouldn't like it. I think that women will be mostly turned off by that. I mean, I think they would say, wow, he's got a good body. But also, why would he be sitting shirtless in the workplace? So I think that's a good question to ask.

It does look fake. It's a conversation starter. That's exactly what it is. Why are you such a weirdo? No, it's a conversation starter for sure. Because if a girl sees some naked guy sitting behind a radio mic. They're like, what's the story? Yeah, she's going to be like, first of all, what's radio?

And then she's going to be like, what the hell? Why is he sweaty and just sitting behind the desk? Yeah, so I also think you should change your work description to just a podcast producer. I think we should take radio out of it completely. Isn't that worse? Podcast producer? Jake's right. But it's more normal, though, in L.A. in 2026.

I think so, too. People have made up jobs like that all the time. The best thing Jake has going for him is that he has K-Rock on his profile. Yeah, podcast producer. It's like saying you have herpes. Podcast producer is the model. Everyone has herpes, too. But that really is like, you know, you come to L.A. and someone's like, oh, I'm a producer.

Oh, what have you produced? Well, we're working on an entrepreneur. Podcast producer is like in that same category now. It means nothing. Vanessa listed his hobbies as going to concerts, bars, and reading, which I think is a good one because he read a book once, and women find reading hot. So I think that's a good thing to put on his profile

other than like his other hobbies, which are just asking for butter at restaurants. Now, there's also prompts on your Bumble profile that you can finish the prompt. Like, if I had a superpower, it would be blah. You know, you can pick different things. We'll get along if, you know, we can add his thing. Like, if you think Bucky's is a gas station.

Oh, right. You know, you can put, like, a funny response. What do you think your superpower would be, Jake? Freeze time. Oh, Jesus Christ. It's dope, man. You can rob any bank. Get away from anybody.

You'd be sick. You'd never be late again. It'd be awesome. I mean, I think he's got to talk about your... All right, we'll skip that one. ...explosive ass is probably the better superpower. No, I already have that superpower. I quote too much from?

Himself. When he tries to say things. Yeah, like movies. Like, isn't there a movie that you quote a lot? Yeah, there's a lot of movies I quote. Disneyland. He says Disneyland a lot. Oh, yeah.

He quotes Bulletproof. I quote too much from Jake Shack Baines. And I quote too much from Star Wars. Well, here's one that I thought would be good. My personal hell is, and I thought you could put, like, the airport, LAX. This bit. Because it's kind of true, you know, that he doesn't like the airport, but who does? Right.

You know, so it's like bending the truth a little. Yeah, you want to be relatable with women. So they go, I also hate the airport. This guy's for me. Yeah, I'm a real nerd about, I thought you could put music, just because he is a bit of a music nerd, and some girls might find that hot, even though they don't know what kind of music. How about the fact he plays Magic the Gathering with children?

Yeah, I was going to say, and in quotation marks, and Magic the Gathering. But I guess that's the kind of stuff you hide from the dating profile. I rarely play with children. Well, guys, we can't be on... Like, if we were to say my summer in three words and we put tubes, breakups, and diarrhea, no one's going to swipe on that. No, you're right.

Let's find out. But that's fine, though, because it's relatable because a lot of girls nowadays, they have IBS, too. So if Jake says he's got IBS, they're bonding over having poop problems. Yeah, so, I mean, Johnny's profile upgrade is very short and sweet. It just says, cool job, drug-friendly,

700 credit score, 8 inches and thick. You have a 700 credit score, Jake? I have no idea. He does now. I don't even have $700. Never mind. Delete that. Loyal, cool job.

If date goes well, then Del Taco on me. Hashtag GLP1 gang. Dog stays on during sex. I got to say. I got to say, Johnny's is a better profile. Looking for something casual but not opposed to the next step. I think that's good. Johnny, I think you slayed this profile.

Interests are baddies, especially when their names end with a. Kendrick Lamar, drugs, beer, and my dog. Jake, do you know anything from Kendrick Lamar? Yeah, I do a karaoke song of his sometimes. Don't say that. And he says, which one? Count me out. The one with tons of N-words in it?

No, it actually has no N-words. Yeah. And then he had Jake take a shirtless photo of himself in the production office. It's getting angry. It's sexy, bro. I mean, honestly, thank you for the compliments. I feel like I did a really great job with Jake right here. Jake, I think you guys got to post both profiles and see what gets more likes.

I agree. Yeah, we'll just see. I mean, there's no way. That your current profile could be better than either of these. Yeah, your current profile is the worst one. So I think that at least let's go ahead and give this a shot. Can I take these and make slight changes? No.

What would you want to change? Well, just lots of stuff, actually. But I'll only change a couple things. Why don't you try it out like this? You obviously are not having any success doing it your way. You let us take it over. Try it Johnny's way and try it Vanessa and Ali's way. You guys are making it some just, like, mean and bad.

Like, that AI photo, I just look like an idiot. Does it mean to say, Jake, you're 8 inches and thick? Bro, I don't want to lie. That's not a lie. Oh, my God. Hey, Amanda on KROQ, let's get an actual female's perspective here. Go ahead, Amanda. Sorry, Allie.

No, don't do that person. That's fine. Sweet Tibbits. Hi, Sweet Tibbits. What's up? I just wanted to come on and say that Jake with his dog 24-7, And some people would find that cool. I think that's cool.

Like, I love dogs. Yeah, but even if you love dogs, if the person you were dating had the dog on his person in a backpack almost all the time, wouldn't that eventually, that would be okay with you? That'd be okay with me. I mean, I wouldn't have a dog like that. So then I guess, but the percentage has got to be low, right? I mean, it's got to be like 1% to 2%. The percentage is definitely low. And the percentage is definitely low for Jake.

Right, that's a good point. Add that to the dating profile. All right, so let's post them both. We'll see if you get any bites this weekend. If you'd like to play a little game with us right now, inspired by the new blockbuster Odyssey, a name that is very similar to our company's name, which is Odyssey,

you can play a game and win some of this limited edition merch. Call now, play next. K-Rock Line LA Show. We'd like to believe that we are a successful program, but apparently nothing is more successful than the movie that has just come out called Odyssey. So much so that some of the theaters are showing no seats available for a 6 a.m. showing of this film.

It is that good, supposedly, that everyone is saying it is the greatest Odyssey ever. Meanwhile, we work at a company that owns K-Rock. We've talked about the app before. It is called Odyssey, spelled with an A. A-U-D-A-C-Y, just in case you weren't sure how to spell it. Because it's audio. Oh, that's why? I didn't even know that until just now. And they explained it when they talked about the many business names

they came up with. So we are going to read you reviews right now. Here's how the game works. And we are either going to read you a review that is about Odyssey, the film that is out now in theaters and everyone loves it, or it's about this company or our app, the Odyssey app. And if you can figure out which Odyssey it's about,

just like that, you win. And you get your pick of these brand new Klein Alley Show hats. You can pick which one you want. I don't know how many we have of each, but you can get a Make Alley Fat Again Maffa hat. You can get a Sweet Divots hat, or you can go with a 3-2-3 tip

bowling hat. The choice is yours. It's time now for the game Odyssey or Odyssey. Could be the most difficult or easiest game you've ever played. We start with Claudia in Anaheim. Good morning to Claudia. Welcome to KROQ. Hi, Claudia.

Good morning, Sweet Dibs. Sweet Dibs to you. Allie, why don't you go ahead and read her the first review. Shout out to my fingers. Nice. That's right. Shout out to everyone watching along on YouTube right now. Here we go, Allie. Read the first review. I do not get it. seems like they care less and less about quality and more and more about making money.

Okay. Is that about Odyssey, our parent company, or is that about the new film, Odyssey, in theaters now? It's definitely the new film. She thinks that's about the new film. That review is about Odyssey, the company. Oh, no. Not about the movie. I'm sorry.

I didn't know our company cared about making money. It doesn't seem like it. According to this reviewer, they're also forcing loyal fans to drink from an endless cup of mediocrity. Oh, man. That really does sum up this company. All right. Well, 0 for 1. I thought this game would be easy, but we move on.

It's a game called Odyssey or Odyssey. Who's the guy who directed this? Christopher Nolan. Christopher Nolan. That guy only does good stuff, apparently, and they say this is his masterpiece. They say it's his best work, and Oppenheimer was the last movie he did, which also won a ton of awards. We say hi now to Michael and Costa Mesa. Couldn't get through it.

Michael and Costa Mesa, good morning and welcome to Odyssey or Odyssey, a review about the new movie in theaters now or this company we work for on a daily basis. Go ahead. Once again, Allie, we'll read you the review. A master class in excellence, awe-inducing, breathtaking, and impeccably executed, filled with soul-shattering talent and standout craftsmanship. That's got to be this company, right? I want to say it's the terrible Odyssey app.

You think that was a review written about the Odyssey app? Is that the movie Odyssey or the company Odyssey? The choice is yours now, Michael. Yeah, I think this is going to... This game is not difficult. Do you have an answer? I think he's using the app to call us right now, which is why it keeps cutting out, sadly. We can't even hear his answer.

This game is so hard. I'd say that's sadly an 0 for 2 for us as we move on now to Christina. I can't believe it. A master class in excellence? Do you think anyone ever said that about the Odyssey app? No way. Christina, Riverside, we've had no winners in the game Odyssey or Odyssey, which seems impossible, but yet here we are. So here we go.

Ali's going to read you another review. Is it the Christopher Nolan movie that's going to bring in a billion dollars and everyone says it's one of the finest things everyone put on the big screen? Or the company we work for and the app that they put on that is glitchy on a regular basis? Okay, here's your next review. A hot mess express. They just don't care anymore. Using manipulative tactics to get you to buy in.

But then there's no substance. Only relentless focus on getting more dollars. Is that Odyssey or Odyssey? What do you think? I think it's Odyssey. The movie or the company? No, the company. Company.

Yeah, I know those Nolans like to make money, but I feel like she's probably right. She is right. Yeah. That was actually a review of somebody who worked here. Oh, wow. And called it the hot mess express. Oh, really? Yeah.

They used to work here and they wrote a review after they left? Yes. That's hilarious. All right, congratulations. You've won a limited edition Klein Alley Show hat. Would you like the Make Ali Fat Again Mafa, the Sweet Dibbets, or the 3-2-3 Tip Bowley hat? Sweet Dibbets. Sweet Dibbets is yours.

She's getting her very own Sweet Dibbets hat. Congratulations. Wear it proudly. Let me say hi to Julio right now. Odyssey or Odyssey. Hey, Julio. Here we go. Listen closely.

A crowning achievement from one of the greatest living artists of our time. That's easy. It's a movie. Thank God. I was really... You guys are getting it. Finally figuring out the game. It's the movie.

Only took us a few. Congrats. You're getting your own hat. You want a Moffa Make Ali Fat Again, a 323 Tip Bully, or a Sweet Divots hat? Make Ali Fat Again. That's the one I'm wearing right now. It's a good choice. Moffa hat.

Enjoy it. Wear it proudly. All right. We go to one final contestant now. In the game Odyssey or Odyssey. And we say hi to Will in Los Angeles, California. Ali's reading a real-life review that's been written online somewhere. Is it about Odyssey, our company, or our terrible app?

Or is it about the film, the master class, the achievement known as Odyssey? I will say this one is a little bit difficult. Okay, here we go, Will. I was left weeping in my seat. We leave it feeling that we've been to hell and back, exhilaratingly so. That is the feeling I get with the app, for sure. Will, is that Odyssey or the movie? He says the movie.

That's correct. Congratulations. You have figured it out. Which one of these hats would you like? The Klein Alley Show hat. Would you want a 323 tip bully, a Make Alley Fat Again, or a Sweet Divot? I mean, I want the Make Alley Fat Again, but I've got to go with Sweet Divot. All right.

You've got a Sweet Divot hat coming up your way. I wonder if that will be the most popular. Hold on one second. Klein, overbearing and rushed with no leadership. Oh, man. I think that's the motto, isn't it? The motto of our company. Isn't that our company crest right there?

Other than a rare triumph that respects its audience and challenges them emotionally. That would be the film. I'm in complete awe of what entertainment is capable of. It's definitely not this company. We've got to take a break. We'll be back in a moment. Also, just a reminder, download the Odyssey app. It's available for free at the Odyssey store.

Excuse me, at any of your apps. The Odyssey store. They do have a stupid company store called the Odyssey store. We can buy crap that no one wants. But anyway, regardless, hold on one second. Hey, we're back in a second. If you didn't win and you're feeling jealous, don't worry, because we have a four-pack of Disneyland tickets for you in about ten minutes.

So be ready to call and claim those after this. K-Rock, Klein Alley Show. The song was for Team England. It will be playing in the loser game, which is happening tomorrow, and then, of course, your World Cup finals on Sunday. Alley, we'll get into some news. Then we've got Disneyland tickets for you. I just made a bit of a wardrobe change.

I'm feeling pretty good in my new shirt of the summer. You're an I-have-never-been-intimate-with-Jake shirt. I'm wearing the white one. Johnny's got the yellow one on. It looks great on you. It feels great. I'm proud to tell the world I've never been intimate with Jake. A lot of people are walking through the halls wearing these shirts now.

So they are catching fire. We'll give you a chance to win them coming up from us. But first, your news. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. It'll all be over soon. The World Cup final is on Sunday at noon. It takes place in our proudest state, New Jersey.

But if you don't care about soccer and you can't wait for this global nightmare to end, there might be a halftime performer that you care about because this halftime show was carefully curated by one Chris Martin of Coldplay, and he's got a few talented people in his contacts by now. You'll see Shakira, Justin Biebs, BTS, Madonna, and for all the fancy folks out there, Gustavo.

I'm from New York. Oh, no. We from the home of the Derwish. Yes, I'm from New York. New York. Let the world hear that. I'm from New York. New York.

Got Joe for you, folks. He can't even. It's not like the lyrics are hard. No, no, no, no. He can't do them. He can't keep up. You know, that's a guy whose tongue got too fat, I think. Yeah.

That's where you're headed if you're not careful. I'm ready. Gustavo Dudamel will also be performing. He's the music director of the L.A. Philharmonic. So all of the fancy Europeans out there can also enjoy some good music. Jennifer Hudson will also be singing the national anthem, which seems ridiculous because neither team is American. Yeah, but it's happening in America, so he's probably going to do all three anthems. By the way, you mentioned Chris Martin.

Happy anniversary today to the Coldplay cheating couple. Oh, yeah, the Coldplay couple. One year ago today, that dominated our feeds. And one year ago, they got caught cheating at that Coldplay show. I wonder how their lives are going. I think one of them did a sit-down with Oprah recently, and she said, not great. The other guy's probably plowing. I think that's definitely plowing, a different assistant at this point.

Tom Cruise is also slated to make a special appearance at the World Cup. So we'll see if he repels in or what happens there. So a lot of thoughts about the World Cup and a lot of people that are saying that, you know, Vanessa's taking too much heat for being a bandwagoner during this. My message is for Vanessa, you can be a fan of football, but to claim that Conn and Allie are bandwagoning and everything when you can't even name a couple of the players on the Columbia national team says a lot. I did.

If you want to know more about the game, just look it up. Just Google it. But don't think that people are bandwagoners. That's all I got. Yeah, well, I'm going to be watching the finals of the sportsbook in Vegas because I'm a gambler. I'm going to love soccer when I'm gambling on it. Yeah, it's going to be good.

You still think you're going to be there? Nope. Okay. You're letting go of that dream. No, I have, I would say, a 30% chance. Yeah. So Amazon has proved that we have no problem dropping our loyalty to any store or brand just to save four bucks on a plunger. But would you change your habits if you knew that they were going to charge you more during the holidays?

They've announced increases to their, quote, holiday fulfillment. So they're going to do holiday fulfillment fees. You'll be charged more during the months of October through January. So if for something small, it's not a big difference. Like, for, say, a phone case, it's normally $249, but it would go up to $268. But if you buy something big, like a TV, it's many dollars more. So it will start influencing the decisions that you make during the holidays. Will it be kind of the new Santa Claus this year, or will that start to change?

And this is also on top of the new 3.5% fuel and logistics surcharge that they're putting on. So if you start adding up these little lines that they're putting in there, You start going, wait a minute, how much am I really saving? Why don't I just go to Best Buy and get a TV? Yeah, because we're lazy. Or Walmart delivers, and I think Target does too now. Yeah, a lot of other websites are now doing same-day delivery, so there's more competition as they continue to raise their prices.

Amazon will sometimes say to me, would you like to be a better citizen of Earth and wait another 11 minutes, and I'll put this in the same box as the other thing that's coming? I said, nope, I'll take it now. Thank you very much. It's terrible we get the choice to wait, even if I'm not around. I'm like, I want it there ASAP. Now, right now.

And then R.I.P. to the pigeon lady from Home Alone 2. She died. No, she did? Yes, Brenda Fricker. I think that's her name. Brenda Fricker, I'm sorry. She was so hot. She was a hottie.

She died at 81 years old. She is an Oscar-winning actress. She won an Oscar for her role in My Left Foot alongside Daniel Day-Lewis. But, of course, everyone knows her as the Pigeon Lady from Home Alone 2. And there was an interview that she did a few years ago where she talked about Christmas and that she doesn't like it and said, I would be lying if I said it would be a nice and happy Christmas. I'm old and I live alone and it can be very dark. I know that you're wondering why is Allie picking this story to report on in the ADD News.

But, as you know, this is Allie's celebrity doppelganger. So, the Pigeon Lady from Home Alone 2. You mean the Goonies Lady? No. That's another one for Celebrity Doppelganger. Thank you so much. Anytime a doppelganger of mine dies, you'll hear about it. Yeah, so you better believe we'll cover that.

Pour one out for Brenda. How would you like to go to Disneyland? I know the answer. Call right now and be the 20th caller. The number you need to call is 800-520-1067. And we have four tickets for you to go to Disneyland. And that is if you call us right now on KROQ. This is the world famous KROQ.

All right, welcome to your weekend. Good morning. It's Friday. It's just after 9 o'clock. Busy hour to get into. This is the hour. Allie, we just got confirmation. One-armed Gary is going to be coming into the K-Rock studios this hour with not one,

but two arms. He has his new arm. And the first thing he's going to do with that new arm is give you your final shot in your butt of progesterone so that you can have a healthy pregnancy. Okay. So if he is on his way, we've heard this before. Oh, God. He's not going to get here until noon.

Exactly. So I need to take this shot by 9.40 at the latest. He's in the Baker's Field. He's got to light a boat on fire first. I mean, the fact this guy's been on his way for every event, I think he's showed up after the events are over. Vanessa, when is he supposed to be here, does he believe, one-armed Gary? I was told 9.18. 9.18. Okay, so add how much Gary time?

Four and a half hours. That's tomorrow sometime. I think that's the date. It's September 18th, 9-18. He'll be here. Well, anyway. We'll see what happens. If he gets here.

If he gets here on time, I will let him do it. What a great way to break in a brand new arm. I mean, this guy's been living life with one arm for a while. What a great way to break an ass. Yeah, Allie's going to let him give her that final shot. So this is going to be a real miracle of life moment here with one-armed Gary, who will now officially have a new nickname. So if he doesn't make it, am I on the bench?

Yeah, you're going to come in. This is such a sad bench. It really is sad. And starter. We've got lots of messages sitting here on the GOAT line, and we'll say hi to one of you in a moment, give you some Disneyland tickets. But this was waiting around today. The number to join us is 844-956-GOAT.

Allie, what do you think of this idea? Hey, guys. So I listen to your podcast all the time, and I thought of a really good game that you guys could play that I thought would be hilarious. You guys should have Allie's wife and Klein's wife play a game of do they know you guys better, or do you guys know each other better? Because I would bet that Allie knows Klein better than Klein's wife, and vice versa.

I think that would be a really fun game to play on the radio. I think that would be fun, because I think it's very obvious. I mean, my wife doesn't know my cell phone number. She doesn't know... I know your area code. Yeah, okay, that's probably better than she does, to be honest. Yeah, I think, yeah. I don't think she knows any part of it.

Do you think if we were both challenged with bringing you your favorite meal, who do you think would be better at that? You would do better than that. Really? Because she would probably get you a stupid salad. She got me a sandwich with sprouts in it. I was like, what are you doing? But she doesn't think that's her favorite, right? She's trying to keep you alive, Klein.

Yeah, but I don't think she... Well, what would you get me, Allie? I'd probably get you pizza and wings. That's pretty good. And Allie's trying to kill you. Yeah, all right. No, I'm just going to give you what you want. Yeah, that's probably right.

I would say, all right, you know what? Write down on our list of ideas, listener ideas, that maybe we do that one. That's a much better idea than this one, by the way, that came through as well. This idea I hate, but I'll play it. Allie, next time Klein loses a bet, you should get access to his phone for 20 minutes, unfettered. Have him leave the studio or the room or whatever, and just get all the ammo you can. Because you know there's some really damning stuff in there, like his grok chat and whatever else, and all the shady stuff he does. So, that should be the next bet.

And also, turn off this freaking 11 a.m. alarm. It's off. Thank you. Yeah, we officially killed that during the show over time this week. I can confirm yesterday it did not go off. But I don't want to do that because I assume if I go through your photos and videos, I will see a lot of weird gym selfies. No, no, I don't do that. No way.

I will also see rejected social media videos that you decided not to post. You will see a lot of stuff I've shot sitting in traffic that I never post because it's terrible. Hey, let me say hi to, is this Jose? Well, I got that wrong somehow. Hi, what's your name? Hi, this is Josie. Great. That's kind of like Jose.

Just a letter off, an important letter. Sir, you got to read that again because it clearly said Josie. All right, Jose from Fullerton, congratulations. You are the 20th caller. You'll be going to Disneyland. Nice. Thank you, guys. You're very welcome.

No way, Jose. Hold on one second. Get you those tickets to Disneyland, and we'll have more of them coming up at noon today for Sluggo. Then again at 3, and then again at 6. And then we've got tickets to give you all weekend long to that festival that was just announced in Santa Monica. Oh, yeah.

The White Stripes Carol. Oh, Nellie's changing her shirt right now. Look at this. You can see some nudity if you're on YouTube right now. Look at that. She's putting on, there it is, the I've Never Been Intimate With Jake shirt. God damn it!

Looks great on everyone on the show who's wearing them now. These are cool. Looks good. Yeah, we'll be giving more of these away later today. That's a good-looking shirt right there. I've never been intimate with Jake. It's something kind of cool about, I would imagine this is what a professional athlete feels when they put on a jersey before they go out on the court or the field.

Do you each have numbers in the back? Yeah, you put on this shirt, you're like proud. You're like, I am proudly wearing an I've never been intimate with Jake shirt. And that feeling when you put it on, oh, goosebumps up and down your whole body. Like you did something. Actually, you didn't do something. You may feel differently about that when you hear this theme song that Jake put together for our new segment. Allie and I both had spider encounters yesterday, and apparently spiders are dominating.

I don't know what it is about this time of the year, man, But if you have not walked into a spider web today, I bet you will before bedtime. And the one that Allie has, which we're going to post a video up on our socials, this thing is not a local spider. This thing is one of those ones you usually only see in the rainforest. I don't know how it got to— Yeah, it's like the Amazon Australia-style weirdness. This thing was crawling up Allie's leg. Put this up right now on our Instagram.

You can put up both of the spiders that we've encountered in the last 24 hours at Klein Allie Show. If you don't like spiders, you may want to avoid the socials for a while. You also may want to avoid going out in public, because apparently it's time for Spider Stuff. Spider Stuff, Spider Stuff, now it's time for the Spider Stuff. Ali screams, Klein's a bitch, giving us the real big kick. Look out, look out, look out, here comes Spider Stuff. So glad I'm wearing this shirt. I like it.

Never been intimate with Jake, who put together that theme song. Omar wants no credit in that. That's called Spider Stuff. Ali, what happened? I actually like that video. Thank you. Okay, so I was at the park yesterday, and I was doing this event that I was forced to go to for my kid is going into like real school, real kid school. And they did this event where all the parents and all the kids can all meet each other, and it's like a big introduction at a local park.

And there's popsicles, and there's games, and it was like a first impression kind of moment. I don't know why I had to do this as opposed to my wife, who's much better at these things. But I show up with my kid and it's a bunch of new people. You're making a first impression. I'm very awkward in those situations. I'm kind of starting to talk to some people. And then I decide I have to go to the bathroom in the parks, which is never a good thing. I walk over to the bathroom and I begin to open the door and I look down because I feel something weird on my leg.

I feel like there's like maybe a piece of like I didn't know what it was shorts what are you wearing I was wearing shorts yeah okay

because it was hot as hell yesterday I never wear shorts and you know the reason I never sleep naked is because your biggest fear is a spider's going to

crawl inside of you and lay eggs yes I don't like more opportunities for things to be crawling on me I'm usually always in long pants

I'm always usually in long sleeves if I can help it to be honest I need to cover my body do you think because of how you are groomed down there

you've created the perfect natural environment for these spiders from the Amazon rainforest? I don't think that it's a breeding ground necessarily. It might be a thriving climate. But I just don't, I just want to eliminate the risk. So one of the few occasions I am in shorts and I feel something on me

and I look down and there is a massive spider crawling up my leg. I mean, I'm talking inches across. Yeah, I saw the video. Usually I would say women always think every spider is a quote master spider even if it's a tiny daddy long legs it's still a quote master spider this particular case spider i would just brush it off i'm not like this looks like one of the ones you would see at the zoo behind the glass and they would say this is only uh found in

belize or something like how did that thing even get into this country let alone on my leg you maybe smuggled it back into your privates from hawaii so then i scream like a freak because as anybody would in that situation, to which point all of the new parents look at me and I start going, spider, spider, spider. I'm sorry. Are you for real? Oh, man.

Are you in the bathroom or just outside the door? I'm just outside the door. So then I turn around and go, guys, that was a really big spider. And then everyone just kind of casually turns around and continues eating their popsicles. and now i've embarrassed myself and my child we won't be playing with that family and then i go into the bathroom because the the spider ran into the bathroom right and because it's waiting for me to go and i still have to go but i go in there and then i go in and i start filming it because

i'm like i at least have to film what this thing was i want to find out what kind of spider it was also people please take notice to ali's uh method of filming it looks like it's terrible because if you're ever questioning about his mom or not why don't you go ahead and check out the way she Okay, I know it was a bad video. It's the worst. But it's also bad because another mom came into the bathroom and just saw me filming the wall. So now I look even dumber. You're in the women's bathroom with your camera, which I think is a big violation of privacy.

Yes, exactly, at a park bathroom. And she comes in and she's like, oh. And I'm like, sorry, there was a big spider on my leg. And now the spider's over here. You have to look at it. And she proceeds to pass me right by and go into the bathroom. and so I left making no friends

but I did but the video is shaky because I was talking to her as I was filming it and trying not to look like a complete idiot

which obviously I failed to do well it's up there right now no I didn't when their bodies are too big I don't want to

the butt is too bulbous this thing was like a post puberty spider it's red and brown like reddish brown it's gonna be like a girthy ass

like squish too that's so gross Johnny too bad but it's not still June. You would have won for that comedy. I tried to put this video into AI and it couldn't give me an answer. It doesn't know what type of spider that is?

No. That's why I really want to find out what it is. I feel like any kind of weird spider expert has got to look at this thing and tell me. Well, it's up right now, Klein Alley Show. Take a peek at it. It is, she encountered this thing in the, what area were you in?

So people can be on the lookout for this. This was in Agora Hills. Agora Hills, California. You can find this thing. You can find this thing in the park bathroom. Crawled out of Allie's genitals, and now she's probably going to not be allowed within 200 yards of that park ever again. Oh, she had her baby already. And then, of course, you get that weird, there's always a spider on me feeling.

Yeah, I know that. Which I've had that for the last 12 hours. I've been picking fake cobwebs off my face for the last four days because I keep walking into them, and now I feel like they're always on me. Why are they everywhere all of a sudden? It must be breeding season or something. We've got to get a spider expert on. Why are they here? But anyway, that has been an exciting round of Spider Stuff.

Spider stuff, spider stuff, now it's time for the spider stuff. Allie screams, Klein's a bitch, giving us the real big kick. Look out, look out, look out, here comes the spider stuff. Oh man, what a fun surprise on a Friday morning. It's K-Rock, we are Klein Allie's show. We're going to stop everything we had planned for you right now because a special guest has made his way to the K-Rock studios. Which means I'm prepping.

This is exciting, guys. This man used to be known as One-Armed Gary. but because of technology and insurance. She now is about to enter the KROQ studios, and I recommend you check out the YouTube if you want to see what it looks like. One-armed Gary has had one arm for a long-ass time. Ever since we've known him.

Entering the KROQ studios, please say hi for the very first time to two-armed Gary. Look at this. Oh, my God. Look at that thing. Wow. What up, one-armed Gary? Or should we say just Gary?

Wow, Gary! That thing is incredible. Look at that. Hop over to the microphone so we can hear you. That thing is so lifelike. I went into this place and they put this on you. And it's supposed to be, like, fixed, right? Like, all ready to go?

Yeah. And then he's pulling on this cord and it snaps out and it busts me in the mouth. You punch yourself in the face with your new arm? I punched myself really fast in the face. And then when it did that, it swung and hit him. You hit the doctor. Now he has one arm. In the balls.

With this thing. Oh, you hit him with the hook? Yeah. I've got to describe this because it's not at all what Ali thought it was going to look like. It's not what any of us thought. Is it even attached to you? Dude, I have to get this thing totally. I've got to bring it back.

It broke. It's broken. Oh, yes, I can see that the wire is completely off. And it hit the guy in the... Nuts. Did you get this from a legitimate medical office? No way. I did.

No way. I did. That's not where technology's at. Back alley medical office. Let me see. How would you pick something up with that? I wouldn't. Then what's the point?

I need to go get a new one. So it doesn't even... This is my whole trick. Ready? Yeah. But that's pretty incredible because you were able... That's currently attached to what? Your nub?

No, it looks like there's a strap that's around your... The rubber thing that goes in and sucks into this. It looks like your shoulder is detached. Is that thing properly... I don't think so. Omar, are you looking at this or am I... I'm kind of dumbfounded here because... There was a lot of build-up to this, by the way.

Like, you got this at a swap meet, Gary. No, no, swap meet. No. Yeah. No. Gary, that was... Is this a piece of one of your boats? No.

Please pick Marketplace. So this is... It looks skin-colored, so it's basically just... Skin-colored? Ali. I mean, it's like the color of his skin, right? I mean, it's not, like, robotic. It is...

It's made to look like an actual arm, but then the end is just two hooks that kind of clamp together. Gary, I don't mean to insult you by saying this, because I know it's a big day for you. You've had one... How long have you had only one arm for? Since I was, let's see.

I don't really need the exact date, but I mean, we're talking like over. Like years, 10 years, 20 years? 40 years. Yeah. You've only had one arm for 40 years. Right. So this is a big day for you. Yeah, it's a big deal, but this thing ain't going to do nothing.

It appears that you. Oh, we know that. We're telling you that, man. I think even if it worked, it wouldn't do anything. Gary, did you pull that off of another person and just put it on yourself? Because it doesn't look like it was made to fit you at all. Listen, after I hit him, the guy said he had to fix it, and I said, no, I'm taking that arm with me because I've got to go to K-Rock tomorrow. So he said this is not ready for you, and you said I'm leaving with it anyway?

Yeah, I said I have to take it. I don't know if we can let you give Allie the shot in her ass with that thing. I just want to see if you can hold this needle. That's Allie's syringe. It's the final progesterone shot she's taking, Gary. Okay. Can you hold it in your other arm? You want him to wash his hands or sanitize?

I guess too late for that. She's going to put it in the claw. I'm afraid it's going to crush it. So hold on. Allie, if he holds it like that, can you back your ass into it and get the final shot done that way? I mean, if I also hold it, we might be able to. Yeah, you got to back that ass up. I mean, listen, I'm all about funny, but I fear for everyone involved here.

I mean, watching Gary with that needle. I think I'll get tetanus. Oh, yeah. Oh. Yeah. Gary, do you feel comfortable with Allie getting? With what's happening? You're down.

You're down. Yeah, I'll do anything with Allie. I mean, I will play her pool in anything. Yeah, you want a rematch because the time she took the $1,000 from you. I've been in two different clubs trying to get better. Right. Well, I've got to be honest. This arm looks, it's comical.

Is this the one that's supposed to have a pool cue attached to it? It's straight comical because this thing unlocks it, and it goes like this, and then... It gets too tight, and then it snaps up. It looks like it's technology from the 40s. Right. I mean, they couldn't even give you five fingers? No. They just gave you two hooks?

They didn't give me too much. Oh, careful with that. That's Alec Madison. She needs it. All right. Well, first of all, what a great... People are thrilled to see you in the studio, right? I can't believe this man is real.

Did he get that arm made from... I can believe this arm isn't real. Yeah, that's... Does anyone think you have two real arms? What are you trying to show us on your phone? This is what I've been doing. What are you... Are you playing something?

Yes. What is it? Really easy. In a sec. That's me singing. These guys are cool. Is this Razor? No, it's his new band.

And it's all about you, Clint. It's about me? How do you figure? How long is this guitar riff going to be that we have to set the record? I like it. Oh, shit. What does this have to do with Klein?

I think he just wants us to hear his new song. But it's a great song. It's all about K-Rock. It's about K-Rock. How is this a connection to K-Rock in any way? We're not in Cyprus. We're not living it. What are you talking about?

Can you explain? This is the wrong track. It's about roosters, I hear. That's what I'm talking about? Okay, good explanation. All right. That's a new anthem for K-Rock. Well, it's a good song, Gary.

I think you're very talented musically. I'd love you to play a show once you get the right arm on. I don't know what that thing is, but it's preposterous looking. I know. You have to see on the live stream what this thing looks like. If you haven't been to our YouTube ever before, now would be a great day to check it out. 951 said, I think Gary went to Klein's dentist. I know the guy that made that.

Did he check your chi first? Go-go gadget arm. Okay, well, there's a lot of comments coming through about your arm. But regardless, Allie's got to do her final shot of progesterone. So we're going to figure out a way to let you do that to her. It's a big moment, I think, for you, Gary. And we call you Dr. Gary now when you do this? Sure.

Wait, so we're really doing this? I think if he holds it... No. I don't know about this, guys. Oh, you don't? Allie, your body, your choice. What is the issue you have with this, out of curiosity? Well, the issue is I just don't feel very secure

with the needle being held between two metal prongs that are on a broken arm of a one-armed man. Right. But you know what? Let's get over that. Yeah. Get over that. But you know, we've done dumber stuff.

Listen, if this had been 1943, you'd be impressed by what you're looking at right now. That's true. I would have been like, I have great coverage. This is the Odyssey health insurance policy right here. So I'm going to put a Sublime song on because we have to. And then in a moment, Gary, you're going to give Allie her final shot. And then I think she's officially pregnant. You're a part of this process.

Isn't that great? That's great. All right. I'm excited about this. Gary, people say you look younger than last time they saw you. Oh, can't believe that. Yeah, your arm really brings out your eyes. Yeah.

Look at that. Hey, could you wave to Allie with that thing? Yeah. That's good. That's nice. I'm going to... Allie looks so worthless. Allie looks so worthless.

Allie, you just gave me the middle finger, you jerk. He's waving. Did it creak? I think I heard it creak. Hey, Allie, you were scared. Hey, some WD-40 on that thing. Allie, you were scared. Let me wave high.

Eat your, eat your... Allie, you were scared. I'm ready. Rock, paper, scissors. Okay, ready? Here we go. Ro, sham, bow, get ready. No, no, new arm.

New arm. Ro, sham, bow. Oh, scissors. How come it's always scissors? Club, it's rock. All right, we gotta take a break. Whistle blind. When we get back, the final shot in Allie's house.

What an exciting day to be here at K-Rock. Like, one-armed Gary is in the studio right now. He no longer has one arm. He's got two arms. He just told us during that song that that arm that he's wearing now, he cost him $40,000. Well, he said $40,000, and I was like, that seems fair. $40?

Still seems like about $35 too much, but okay. I was like, that's a copay. But this is a big day for you. You guys had one arm most of his life, and now here he is with two arms, and it's a pleasure to have you here. That's the breaking news is that our very own one-armed Gary now has a hook for an arm and is going to help

put the final shot into Allie's butt. Yeah, I gotta get going here. Okay. So why don't you come over here, Gary. Whatever you want, however you want to do this, he's making his way over

to Allie right now and you tell him what to do. Okay, Gary, I want you to take this, put it in your little hand, your little arm. Oh, yeah. This is one-armed Gary.

He's sanitizing Ali's ass right now where the final shot of progesterone is going to go into. Already he's doing better than Jake and it's preposterous what he has on. I mean, Omar, you've seen some things in this studio over the years, but this is one of them.

This is insanity here. It really is. Open it, open it, release. Release, release the hook. Release the hook. Ali, if this goes bad... It's actually a pretty firm grip, you guys. Really?

Yeah, I couldn't get that swab out. You couldn't? Well, he's still learning how it works, by the way. Are we sure about this? Oh, man. Vanessa thinks this is a bad idea. All right, Dr. Gary, stay still, please. Allie's going to go ahead.

Hold on. Is it in? Is the needle in her butt? It's in. The needle's in her butt. This is the final shot of progesterone going into Allie. And then she's officially impregnated by one-armed Gary. I don't think that's how it works.

This is crazy. No, that's how it works. Allie, your baby could come out half coat hanger as a result of this. There you go. And now he's out. Allie, it's in. The shot's in. The shot's in.

Wow. What up, Gary? Oh, my God. Dr. Gary. Careful with that. Whoa. Jesus Christ. You should not shake it around.

Do not shake the needle around, man. That's full of oil. Careful with that. Oh, my God. All right. All right. Well, this has been absolutely ridiculous for so many reasons. I'm so glad I don't have to do this again.

This is the... Thank you. Gary, in all seriousness, and it's hard to be serious with that thing draping from you, but congratulations. To him. Allie, congratulations to you for, that's it, you went through this whole process on the air, and you're very brave for that. Thank you. And Gary, look at you, man. I feel so much better.

You do? For what, how? Huh? How? It was just really, really kind of... Special? Special. To put that inside of Allie?

Yeah. Did you feel like you had sex with her, kind of? It was special. What does your girlfriend Tina think about your new arm? We are staying on the same hand, I don't think. Does that mean you broke up?

She wouldn't even come in here. She won't come in today. Is there anything you'd like to say to her? She says, I don't feel right. And I said, okay. Is it possible she doesn't love you anymore? She never loved me. But it's okay.

I don't believe that to be true. She loves you and shows up with you and brings you places all the time. She's always calling. I know. She does so much for me, and she really don't love me. What happened? Did something happen? No.

She just never loved me. She did drive you here today, didn't she? Yeah, she did. She drove me here. She's outside right now. She is outside. Listening to this. Listening to this, yeah.

And my phone's ringing right now. Is it her? Yeah. Tell her you love her. Do you love her? we aren't even on the same page well that happens in relationships sometimes

I was in couples therapy last night as a matter of fact yeah and we've been just working on this K-Rock thing trying to get the K-Rock thing that's why I was telling you the Cypress song the Cypress 106.7 K-Rock I didn't hear that

in the song at all it's there well listen I should have ended this five minutes ago You have to put your efforts on something else. But anyway, I really appreciate all you guys do for me. We appreciate you. Gary, thank you. You came in here with your new arm.

It's a beautiful thing to do with that new arm. The first thing you did was help Allie create life inside of her, so you're a part of the journey now. The life has already been created. Well, give Gary some credit. He could use it. Thank you for helping me with the shot. And whoever made Gary's arm, they should lose their job immediately. Hey, you know what?

Seriously. I need a K-Rock sticker. I don't think we should do anything to that. I think you should try to return it, to be honest. But for the new one... Yeah, for the new one, we'll give you all kinds of stickers. Gary, wave to Miles. There's the music to you. There he is.

Don't wave with your real hand. Yeah, no one wants to do it. We got to take a break. This has been preposterous. Hey, look at that. That's Derek Fisher from the Lakers. Give him a wave. Why don't you wave?

Run after Derek Fisher. See if he'll sign your arm. Yes! All right, we got to take... That's why I wanted you guys to sign. All right, well, we're going to go. We'll be back in a moment. This has been strange.

Oh, there he goes. He's leaving. He's just walked out. That was so weird. That was one of the weirdest things I've ever experienced Oh my god it was the best It's like I want to take a break But I don't want to actually deal with the reality

Of now having to have a conversation So we'll just go ahead and See you guys again in about three minutes With your ADD news after this On KROQ It's very strange Hell yeah we are Klein Alley Show Let's find out what's happening in the world together

First let's see if there's anything good waiting on the goat line You guys are so stupid Okay I guess not It's just more of the same, huh? More of the same. Facts. Facts. Yeah, no, we don't disagree with you.

Yeah, what you're saying is accurate, and I don't even need to hear more. That message goes on for another 38 seconds. But there's so many reasons why she'd be calling us stupid, and I'm sure she's right, no matter what the reasons are. So let's just get into your news right now that a brand new hour of the show can officially begin. And hopefully you've got a good mood, good energy, good vibes on a Friday morning. And here we go. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News.

It's official. The diarrhea parasite is from Taco Bell lettuce. Are any of us shocked about this? Well, and what's funny to me is that they already removed those ingredients. They didn't even say what ingredients they were removing. They just said certain ingredients. But guys, there's been no link to our ingredients. We're just doing this for safety.

And then two days later, it's like, okay, yes, it was us. The irony of the whole situation and the funny part about it is if you're eating a Taco Bell, you are trying to avoid most lettuce products as much as possible. Lettuce is, if they had said to you at Taco Bell, hey, we can make everything you ordered, but there's just not going to be any lettuce, you would go, great, even better. If they took out lettuce, I don't even think most people would notice. Right, I think some people defend their Taco Bell addiction by going, I think there's some lettuce in there, so it kind of counts as a salad.

I mean, it does have a little bit of a crunch. Add something. Add texture. But it's not, it's the least necessary ingredient. It's the least important thing there. If they were out of a bunch of other things, that would be a problem. If they're out of lettuce, fine, no problem. Keep on going.

This is the thing with any kind of parasite, bacterial disease, This is what it's called, Allie. Cyclosporosias. There you go. A.K.A. exploding ass. Thank you, doctor. That's the CDC. That's right.

That sounds like you need a sinus infection. All the stuff they tell me to avoid when you're pregnant is like deli meats and things that can be linked to listeria and all this stuff. And it's always produce, lettuce, like healthy stuff. So if we're going to be safe, let's just eat fast food, right? I mean, the most highly processed food and just stay away from all roughage because that's what's given us the diarrhea. The one, quote, healthiest thing on the menu there probably is their produce. But that Taylor Farms is somewhere not too far from us. Yeah, it's a California based company and they're called Taylor Farms and they supplied the lettuce to Taco Bell.

So it's not just Taco Bell. I think they supplied it to a few different places. I'm sure that Taco Bell is not their only client. Right, but if they're getting a bunch of different lettuce crops, and they're going like, this is the weakest of the lettuce crop, let's go ahead and send that to Taco Bell, those people don't care, I would imagine. And it's not mainly in California, it's Taco Bell's in more of the middle of the country. And how does, and I know you're not going to know the answer to this, so I should never ask you follow-ups, but how does that lettuce get the cyclosporias? Yeah, I don't know how the parasite got in there. I mean, how does any bacteria, like, this is a parasite. And went to the bathroom on it, or was it grown that way, or was it handled by a guy that had dirty poo fingers like you?

All I know is that people on TikTok are trying to get it on purpose. Oh, really? As like a cleanse. Yeah, lose 15 pounds like in a week. Yeah. Woo, good bros. Generally, people don't need help getting diarrhea, but TikTok is trying to get cleaned out for five days straight with this. We are done.

Cliasparias-ass parasite. You burn a couple calories just saying the word. That's true. You use your mouth so much. AI is changing the game in every industry. They say now the movie industry, with Netflix in particular, 300 of their shows and movies have used AI in some way just this year. Of course, people are losing their jobs over it, too, but there is a new in-demand job as a result. People are moving over to some of these other booming industries that are proving to be big money makers. This one is coming through as a nice way to make money.

It's a niche industry. Elevator and escalator installation and repair is now a high-demand, high-salary career path that people are taking. Elevator and escalator installers and repairers are now among the highest-paid blue-collar workers in California. And you can easily make six figures, up to $130,000 a year just fixing escalators. The best part of that job is that you have that joke on the ready when people say, how's work? And you go, it has its ups and downs. Which is a joke you can only make when you work in elevator repair. And then you push that person down the elevator shaft.

Push them right down the elevator shaft for making that joke. What's going to end on a down? I do know that every elevator you're in has some sort of like a fake certificate, like it went to college. Sometimes they don't even have it and they say, see the front desk for our certificate. And I'm like, that means they don't have one. I have one that literally said elevator. I was like, what? It was just like a printout and it just like somebody like it needed to be filled or something.

And it literally just said elevator and the address of the place. The reason they need people to work in that industry is because the rules are these things have to be inspected, whatever it is, annually or biannually. And buildings are getting older and elevators are getting older. I've been to a lot of buildings lately where if they have three, two of them are out of service. So I don't know if there's a non-appeal fixing them. When it needs to be fixed, it seems like a dire situation, but they show up whenever they feel like it. There's someone inside of it. That's why.

That AMC in Burbank always has the escalator broken, year-round, all the time. Yeah, and then they just put that little caution thing up, and they're like, who knows when this will get fixed, whenever the person shows up. I've been to places before where the escalator has just turned into a staircase, and I refuse to go upstairs. I just go, I guess I'll be on the first floor of this mall. I won't do it. I don't know what it is, but there's something about it.

If it had always been a staircase, I'd be not opposed to walking up it, but when I was like, those stairs are supposed to move me. Now I got to move? Forget it. Even when that little people mover thing doesn't work at LAX, I'm like, oh, now I can't walk like the bionic woman. I'll be going to my gate. There are a lot of important things going on in the world at any given point. There are wars, devastating earthquakes.

But it's nice to know that this made the news. Of all the things that were going on in the world, the news felt the need to cover this. The Oakland firefighters helping a pigeon by giving it oxygen. You can see the oxygen mask on the bird in this video. It happened yesterday. Firefighters think the bird had smoke inhalation after a car fire. and they say it came to them seemingly looking for help. After getting oxygen, the bird flew away.

I mean, that is such a waste of time and energy and resources. Yeah. I mean, if you think about natural selection, right, the animals that are sick, you know, they just die, and then the animal kingdom moves on. I don't know why humans feel the need to step in all the time to save these animals. You know, like there was even a story about a fish that needed, Like, a person created a flotation device for this weird, sinky fish.

And it's like, it's a fish, dude. Just move on. There's plenty of other fish. After hearing that roundup of the news, I now understand this message. You guys are so stupid. Now it makes sense. Thank you for that. We've got a brand new hour of the show to get into in a moment.

This is the world famous K-Rock. Oh, yeah. Welcome to your weekend. It's Friday. If you need us, you can use the phones. 800-520-1067. Call this hour. Chance to win tickets to go see Evanescence tomorrow at KF1.

I don't know what your plans are for the weekend ahead, but if you don't have any or if they suck, let's go ahead and upgrade your weekend by getting you into that show. And once again, that is 24 hours from right now. And then all weekend long on KROQ, they just announced this festival from the guys that brought you Coachella. They're now dominating the Santa Monica Beach, and that is a decent lineup they're putting together there as well

that includes Jack White and Sublime and The Killers and many others. And we will get you into that festival all weekend long. And then again next week, we'll have some additional tickets for you so you can go be a part of the first ever festival on the beach in Santa Monica. We have so many festivals, but it seems like this is one worth adding to the calendar. Ocean Way Festival. And just when you thought there was not going to be anything else to look forward to in Jason, the July, August, September, October, November span of the calendar year,

we've got something for you to look forward to that's happening in the September portion of that on Saturday, September 26th. So we'll do that for you next week. You know, earlier, Ali, we talked about the concept of going out to eat with people that are super annoying, and both of us had experiences with relatives that were

quote, gluten-free, or soy-sensitive, or no egg, or vegan, pescatarian, and the waiter just brings you an empty tray and goes, that's all we got left. Pair down the menu. But someone wanted to let us know on the goat line that their mom wins, and I think they're right. So if you're annoyed because you have an annoying eater, a picky eater in your life, at least you're not related to this person.

Take a listen, because this will make you feel better about your situation. Good morning, you guys. We did it. Podcast listener. I'm catching up on Tuesday's show where you guys are talking about the worst people to eat with or have modifications to their stuff. um not necessarily an eating out story but growing up uh my mom had a very specific starbucks order uh had to be 120 degrees she'd send me or my brother inside to go get her drink when it was ready and if she took a sip and it wasn't 120 degrees hot coffee by the way uh she would send

us back and have the barista remake it no ifs ands or buts about it didn't matter if we were late to school now that she had to have her coffee and it had to be ready to drink so that's my story love you guys bye 120 degree coffee this tastes more like 118 make it again how do you tell and also how do you drink a cup that's that hot well that's what she that's how she likes it that's a different level of annoying because now you're not just complaining about you know some of the many things we heard from people earlier this week like you know this table's too drafty or this that now you're starting to talk about temperature of stuff and you're not even doing it yourself you're making your grandkids do it for you my mom is constantly changing my mom was a

big soup sender backer she's never temperature she's a temperature person she's never ever in the history and i mean ever never once ever received a bowl of soup that was at the right temperature for her liking and i just tell her every time you order if you're gonna order soup which is a lot just tell them make it hot because she goes through this whole charade every time where they bring it. She puts the fork in it or the spoon in it. She puts it up to her mouth.

She goes, that's just not going to do it. And then she has to call the person over and send it back and have it heated up. And it is. And then how long

it takes like an extra five. And then do you feel like you can't eat until she's got her food back? She wouldn't want to do it though. She'd make my dad do it. He would just be miserable every time

because he'd have to be the guy to be like, can you heat up this woman's soup? It was just the worst. The fact that you make other people do your dirty work is the saddest thing. That you feel embarrassed

so you're going to make another person feel embarrassed. So we get it. Don't worry. Thank you for the interaction on the live show and, of course, also on the GOAT line. We'll get into everything we have in store for you this hour and more, including your box of shame, which is next on KROQ.

KROQ, we are calling Allie's show. Another chance for you to get some of this limited edition merch that we've been debuting today. If you haven't been checking out YouTube or Instagram, you can see what it looks like. Allie and I are wearing the brand new I've Never Been Intimate with Jake shirts, which are flying like hotcakes.

The exact opposite of Jake's penis. These shirts are in demand. What? Co-workers asking for them. People are stopping by. It's wild. But we will promise to give as many away as we can to you. And then we've got the new Klein Alley Show hats as well.

Thanks again to Print Gurus, fans of the show, that put these together for us. Thank you so much for that. All right. We'll get into the box of shame, and then we'll do some Johnny Doesn't Know. Chance for you to win tickets to go see Evanescence. Right now, though, one of us will have to be judged accordingly. It's time for our deepest, darkest, most shameful secrets. Please bring in the box of shame.

the box of shame. Shame. Shame. I think there were some new things added by me over the break. I added a few more. I hope they don't come out today. Give it a good shake.

Just give it a better shake. Yeah. Lots of shame. Shake, shake, shake. Come on, Omar. Come on One more story Vanessa

Vanessa pooped her pants Come on Vanessa pooped her pants Come on That was big It already happened Vanessa pooped her pants Shelby pooped her pants

Oh crap Again Oh this one Jesus Forgot I put this one in Someone Called I pooped my pants

And I don't have underwear Great Thank you Vanessa Alright we're done We can go to break now What Don't have to do another one Hey Vanessa

She's so shocked. Every single time. Like, Dad? She's like, where does that come from? This person called a boy a girl many times until they cried. Oh, no. Klein. Let me just say a couple things.

You can't make assumptions anymore. This happened on the 4th of July. After I said I was not going to be the DJ of the block party that they put on for 4th of July, my wife talked to another mom and basically volunteered me to do it. after I had not, I had already said no to a few people, and they said we needed a DJ. I said, I'm not that kind of DJ. I'm not like a DJ at OmarCon.com.

You know how to push buttons, though. That's a lot of DJing. What kind of tunes did you play? They said, don't worry. We have someone that will play the music. All you have to do is host the family fun festivities that included a hula hoop contest and a water balloon toss. Oh, that's

your wheelhouse. I still didn't want to do it, but I said I would do it. You're the hula hoop host guy. And this is where I wanted to be in my career, and they said, here's the microphone, and the whole neighborhood, it's a lot of people, a couple hundred people gathered around, and, you know, it's a... This is the neighborhood that you recently got kicked out of the group chat of? Yes, for a different reason. Got it.

Do you want to talk about that, or should I save that for a future box of shame? You can save that, I guess. Because apparently there's been more break-ins happening, and they were trying to figure out whose home got broken into in the middle of the night while the family was home, and the children were inside and they responded and they someone wrote whose house and i wrote back ram's house oh man with exclamation points and then he was removed and then it says i've been now removed from the neighborhood chat was that before after this happened that was after this got it so you were on your last legs now this i will just say what what i did anyone would have

done this but i there was i don't know 50 people hula hooping at the same time all competing for who could go the longest and I'm on the microphone trying to make it exhilarating. Was that the longest thing to host? It felt long because most people that quote would even agree

to be in a hula hoop contest are probably good at it, right? Are good at it. Were your kids competing? I told them they couldn't. It wouldn't be fair. So I didn't let my kids compete. Good for you.

But they would have been out anyway because these were all goddamn expert hula hoopers and I thought it would go on for like one song. Oh, dude. My kid, my oldest one, can go forever.

It's insane. In my head, I said maybe 20 seconds, 30 seconds, but I didn't realize that the people that do it, they'll just keep doing it. And are you doing tricks? Like you're putting your arms up? Some people are doing stuff, but I said, hey, I'll put a song on now

and whoever's still hula hooping at the end, you're going to win the hula hoop contest, some BS, whatever. And I'm trying to be all family friendly. Yeah, I posted one of these at Bar Mitzvah and they go so long that you have to intentionally start like hitting the hula hoops

and making kids lose. So I didn't think about that. I should have done that, Omar. You should just let it go on. I just let it go on, and then I had to play another song, and it was still going. And then I started telling the people they have to move. Like, all right, now you have to, because some of them got stuck. They stand in a rhythm, and they just hula hoop, and it doesn't end.

So I'm like, now you have to take two steps to the left, and people are still good at that. It finally gets down to one man, a grown-ass man, and one girl. In my mind, one girl. And I'm now saying, it's down to the man and the girl. How old was the kid, do you think? Oh, I'm really bad at that. Anywhere between 6 and 14. Okay.

Somewhere in that range. Okay. And I'm going, I'm saying to the crowd, who wants the man? And then I'm like, who wants the girl? And they're not, and everyone's kind of looking at me like, why is this guy, I don't know what they're saying, because in my head, it's a man and a girl. It's definitely a man and a girl. So you didn't have like a list of the contestants or anything?

No, there's 50 of them. I didn't know. I didn't want to do this even. I'd been drinking. and um this is the reason why you were suggested because you're such a wonderful host who wants the man who wants the girl well yeah i was trying to get the crowd excited and i could see that the girl was looking at me kind of making not like a sad face at me and i'm so i'm thinking i should i'm like turn around girl and i'm so i'm saying i'm thinking she wants me to like get the crowd

more on her side so i'm going like come on girl girl i started i started chanting my god Was it someone with long hair? Yeah, it was longer. Yeah. Did the outfit look a certain? It was like a tie-dye red, white, and blue shirt and shorts that looked feminine to me and longish hair. A lot of boys have long hair now. I know.

And also... At that age, too, they haven't developed features that would represent a man. They don't have any manly features. No. Should have said that all in the mic. But I just decided that once... And the kid with no manly features. And then who wants the man?

So now there's a dad and a girl, and I'm going to get the girl, and she's looking mad at me, sad at me, like no one's cheering for her, so I'm really trying to go, girl, girl, girl, girl. And nobody is there. And people, I can now sense

some people are kind of coming up to me, and they're trying to tell me something, but I'm like, let's just get this contest over. You're like, let me work, God. Come on, I'm getting the crowd. And some of the people, they're not really chanting girl girl and i'm like why is no one chanting girl uh and then uh the thing comes to an end who wins the man finally just he didn't even he just stopped he just let

the man man just let his hula hoop fall to the ground oh because he was like i can't let and then everyone cheers and i go what's your name girl you know what's your name girl What neighborhood do you live in? And she says to me, first of all, I'm a boy. And had like tears in his eyes, which I said is kind of girly. What was their name? I don't remember. Was it like a gender neutral name?

No, it was a boy. It was like John. It was a boy name. Peter, I think. Pete. Pete's a bitch. So then I said, oh, hey. I said, oh, you know, now I got the neighborhood kind of all looking at me.

Did the parents ever approach to you? I don't know who were the parents of this girl boy, but they were mad. They could tell they were mad at me. And this wasn't a they situation. I just want to make this clear. Yeah, it wasn't. I don't think this was a they. Maybe down the line it could be.

I didn't appear this was. No, and I will say in my kids' school and stuff, there's a lot of boys that have longer hair and there's a lot of kids who just don't, you just look like everything. But I'm going to tell you what threw me off. and I think people will defend me. Baseball players have now popularized this look of, like, guys wearing pearl necklaces. And he had these red, white, and blue pearl necklaces.

And boys were painting their nails, too. I don't know what happened. But this is why I can't be out in public doing anything into a microphone. No, you shouldn't speak. So I apologized, and then I said to the boy, oh, well, hey, you know. Hey, at least you can check both boxes when you get to the DMV. I said, you won.

All that matters is you won. So let's give it up for this boy. Oh, that's good to negate his feelings. And then I said, let's get up for this boy. And then I started a boy chant. Boy, boy. And no one jumped in on that either. You started a boy chant after you tried to start a girl chant?

This boy who won the most girly competition ever. Did you start a boy girl chant? I just said, just they, they. I didn't start it. I just said, boy, boy. And I had like two guys that thought what I was doing was funny. And most people did not like me. And I don't think I'll be asked to do that again.

I would have loved to see your boy, boy chant. There's probably video of it somewhere. Oh, man. I've got to get my hands on it. A break. When we get back, Johnny doesn't know or does he? That will get you tickets to go see Evanescence tomorrow. If you're a boy, if you're a girl, if you're undecided, it doesn't matter.

Call and play. We'll do that next on KROQ. That is truly a wolf. It's called In My Room. It's on KROQ. We are Klein Alley Show. Johnny's in the studio right now. We'll get into a round of Johnny Doesn't Know in just a moment.

Up for grabs. Tickets for you to go see Evanescence tomorrow at the Kia Forum. And just for playing the game, if you get yours right, Because I know usually everyone who gets this right writes your name down. Only one of you wins the prize. Everyone who gets this right today will have their pick of some of the brand new Klein Alley Show merch that we have been wearing all show long. So if you want a I've never been intimate with Jake shirt, that could be yours.

We got them in yellow, got them in white. Or if you'd rather have a Tip Bowley hat or a Sweet Dibbets hat. Tip Bowley with an I. Or a Moffa Make Alley Fat Again hat. We have those for you as well. So call now and play the game in a moment. Johnny, this is a practice question. It doesn't count.

A lot of people talking about Argentina. Understandably World Cup action this weekend. What is the official language of Argentina? Will Johnny know that, Allie, yes or no? This is a practice question. I think he will know that. You do? I think I know what he's going to say, but I don't think he'll know it.

But, Johnny, this is just to give people a sense of where you're at now mentally. What is the official language of Argentina? Well, they speak Spanish over there. Oh, whoa. Hold on. Don't give me that face. You're looking at me like I said something terrible. They speak Spanish.

They speak some sort of, like, Spanish over there. Some sort of Spanish? Yeah, some dialect, yeah. Argentina? Argentinians? They don't speak... Yeah, Spanish. Vanessa, don't help them with the answers. I'm just saying, some sort of dialect?

Dialect. You know what dialect is? No, man. That's a dialect. That is a dialect. That's a dialect. So you're going to lock in on Spanish. Oh, yeah, they speak...

Well, yeah, Spanish. Argentina? Spanish? It's like the battle of, like, Spanishes. Spain versus Argentina. It's the battle of Spanishes. So that just gives you an idea of where we're starting at for this round of Johnny Doesn't Know. We'll come back and play the game in a moment once we give you your Linkin Park.

Once again, if you get your questions right, you'll get your access immediately to this limited edition Klein Alley Show merch. And then one of you will get the tickets to go see Evanescence tomorrow at the Kia Forum. So we'll play the game after this one from Linkin Park. 800-520-1067. Johnny Doesn't Know is next on KROQ. All right, let's get into it. It's time for Johnny Doesn't Know on KROQ. Johnny doesn't know.

And I was like, okay. Oh, Johnny doesn't know. I didn't know Vegas was like in Vada for like a while. Johnny doesn't know. Johnny doesn't know. Gelato sounds like Jell-O. Johnny doesn't know. It like goes,

wiggles. Got a very exciting weekend ahead. All things World Cup related. So we got some questions for Johnny about the World Cup and about Spain and about Argentina. And we'll see how he does. And let's go ahead and say good morning right now to Alex in Almonte. First person that gets a chance to play the game, El Monte.

Alex, if you get your question right, all you have to do, you don't need the answer to the question. Johnny will know the answer. You will get yourself a limited edition piece of Klein Alley Show merch. And then also your name will be written down. And one of you is going to get tickets to go see Evanescence tomorrow. Could be you, Alex. All right? Yeah, awesome.

Cool. All right. First question for Johnny. Johnny. Yeah. What is the name of the person that fights the bull in Spain? Oh. This is a Spanish tradition.

It's been in Spain for a long time. Will Johnny know the answer to the name of the person that fights the bull? Yes or no? You've got to know this. Come on, Johnny. Say yes. All right. He says yes.

If you're right, you instantly get yourself a Klein Alley Show piece of merch. I'm trying to think if this was ever something in a Pixar movie, but I don't think so. No, none of them yet. It was in SpongeBob, actually. Really? But that's not how I know it, though. Yeah. That's not how I know it, though.

Oh, hold on. Don't get too confident. He's done this before and then says something ridiculous. So I know what this is because it was my college mascot. Oh, really? Cal State Northridge, CSUN. The CSUN Matadors. Wow.

We're all shocked Johnny went to college. Yeah, let's go. Bet on Johnny. Which piece of merch would you like to get yourself, sir? I'll take the hat you have. Fine. The hat I'm wearing right now, which one am I wearing now? Maffa.

Oh, I am? I'm wearing a Make Ali Fat Again hat? You got a Maffa. All right, great. Hold on one second. You get yourself a Make Ali Fat Again hat, and if Ali calls your name, you're going to get to go see. Great, congrats.

You can wear that hat maybe to the Evanescence show tomorrow if you win. All right, let's say hi to Chris now in Burbank. Hey, Chris in Burbank. Oh, sorry, that's not Chris. Chris is on line six. Hey, Chris in Burbank. What's up? How you doing?

Hey, how are you? What does FIFA stand for? There's been a lot of talk of FIFA. Will Johnny know this, yes or no? Oh, jeez. I love Johnny, but I barely learned it. I don't think he'll know it. All right.

He says he has no confidence. Johnny will know what FIFA stands for. We've said it a lot. Definitely a crooked organization, that's for sure. But what does it stand for? Johnny, he says you will not know. Well, to be fair, I didn't know FIFA was an acronym. I didn't know it stood for something.

I thought it was just a good word. Just FIFA. Yeah, they were like, let's just name it FIFA. Um, but there's like a lot of F's in there. So I'm going to have to say like F stands for football in like Spanish or Mexico. So Spanish or Mexico in one of those. So like the first F is like football in, it can't be football again. Cause that's dumb.

Oh, that's where it gets dumb. That's where it gets dumb. It has to be like football in football. It has to be like football in federation. That's what the last A stands for? I'm going to say the last A is for... Federation. The last A is for agency.

Agency. The football in federation agency. Yes. Listen, it didn't sound smart coming out, but it's not as dumb as you would think. That is not right. So congratulations. since Chris got his correct as well. The Federation International

Day Football Association. International's a good eyewear, too. Hold on, Chris. Chris, which piece of merch would you like to get yourself? A Sweet Divots hat, a Make Ali Fat Again hat, a 333 Tip Boldy hat,

or a I've-never-been-intimate-with-Jake shirt? I have too much clothes. I was going for Evanescence. All right, well, that's... Hold on. And you'll be running for those as well. So hang tight one second. He passed up on a good shirt.

Did I miss out? I have too many clothes. Wow. We move on to your next question. I can't possibly have another I've been intimate with Jake T-shirt. All right. Once again, we're focused on all things Spain, all things Argentina, World Cup. We say hi now to Alex.

Good morning. Oh, no. Hold on one second. This is you are next in line. I got the lines all screwed up because everyone's calling to take Johnny's pride away. This is Nadia in Montebello. Good morning, Nadia. I'm K-Rock.

Hi. Hi. Sir Devitz, here we go. Listen closely. Will Johnny know Don Quixote's sidekick's name? We talk about all things Spain. Don Quixote is a well-known sidekick. Will Johnny know Don Quixote's sidekick's name?

Yes or no? Nadia? Hello, Nadia. What's up? Her phone, I can tell, is breaking. She's breaking there. Damn, Allie's ready to throw hands at this one. I mean, what is going on, guys?

Nadia. Going once. Yeah, you're barely, barely hanging on. I'm rooting for you, Nadia. Will Johnny know Don Quixote's... There you are. Will Johnny know Don Quixote's sidekick's name? Can you hear me?

Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, my God, Nadia. That was a good book. He's good. Is that our intern screen that call? That's good. Hey, Randy in Chatsworth, will Johnny know Don Quixote's sidekick's name? I am going to say no, he will not know that.

Look at that clear phone connection. Nice and crystal clear. Johnny, Don Quixote's got a sidekick. He says you will not know. So you said sidekick. That's like a little, like, sidekick, you know? Yes. Well aware of what I said.

I mean, you're thinking it out. That's what I said. So, in Spanish, little, I think, is like chiquita. That's how you say, like, little person. So, I'm going to say chiquita. You're just making up a word? No, chiquita is like little girl. Okay.

That is incorrect. Hold on, Randy. Don Quixote and chiquita? Chiquita. Sancho Panza. Oh, what the hell? How was I supposed to guess that? From A Man of La Mancha, which is a classic.

Classic musical. It's a classic musical, but it's got all Spain coursing through its veins. Oh, Sound of Music. Sancho Panso. That's so wrong. That's wrong, too. Never mind. We still have Alan in Huntington Beach.

One final person gets a shot at this. What's up, Alan? How's it going? What's up? What's up? What is the official, this is another Spanish question, because I think everyone's rooting for Spain to win this game, so we've stuck with Spain.

What is the official dance of Spain called? Will Johnny know this? Um, absolutely not. Johnny, the official dance of Spain. Well, there's two Spanish dances I know. It's either the hat dance or it's the salsa. Or the bailando. There's only like three dances I know.

Which one do you think? The Spanish hat dance. You know the, when they put the hat down and then they like dance around the hat and they're like, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, that song? That's the one you're going? No, that seems more Mexican, I think. So I'm going to go with... It's because it is.

Yeah, it is Mexican, huh? It's because it's called the Mexican hat dance. That's what, okay, yeah. Big dummy. I didn't want to put a label on it because I didn't want to get racist or anything. I didn't know if it was correct. You are Mexican, correct?

And Spanish, actually, yeah. Right, right. So I don't know this one, actually. You don't have a guess. I'm going to go with salsa. Flamenco. Oh, I was close, bro. Alan, which piece of merch would you like?

Limited edition Klein Alley Show merch. Could be yours. Sweet Divots. A Sweet Divots hat. All right, that's coming your way. Allie, a lot of people got this right today. Will it be Allen? Will it be Alex?

Will it be Chris? Or will it be Randy that will be going to see Evanescence tomorrow? Congratulations, Randy. You have won. Hey, Randy and Chatsworth. You're going to go see some Evanescence. Congratulations. Thank you for calling.

Oh, man, that's awesome. Thank you for playing. What was your plans tomorrow night before you just won these tickets? Nothing, actually. We have kids out of the house, so we had a free night. So this is perfect. Oh, man. Nothing better than that.

Hold on one second. Enjoy your show and enjoy your new piece of Klein Alley Show merch as well. Come back with takeaways, your weekend song, and we wrap things up next. Let's wrap up the show with some takeaways. Then we'll get your weekend anthem on. Get the hell out of here. Sluggo will be in. More of those Disneyland tickets coming up in about an hour at noon.

Then three, then six. And all weekend long, you start winning yourself into that just announced big festival that's going on in Santa Monica. It is called the Ocean Way Festival. And if you win your tickets, you'll see the Killers. You'll see Jack White. You'll see Sablan. And you'll see many others. If you can't win those tickets this weekend, don't feel too dejected.

We'll have them for you next week on the show. And we will also get you into Universal Studios next week. So be ready to win your way into that. All right. Let's do some takeaways. And then we will get out of here. Allie, what do we have on the text line? Okay, let's see.

818, my takeaway is Allie's new baby is going to be part robot. That's crazy. Thanks to one-armed Gary. That was one of the weirdest moments I've ever experienced. 213, be sure to pack your wearing sweater and your draping sweater on your next vacation. I mean, that is just one of the dumbest things I've ever witnessed. Wow. 213, what's your name, girl?

310, my takeaway is, according to Johnny, FIFA Soccer's Battle of the Spanish's and 6-5-0 my takeaway is Rams House got broken into 5-6-2

my takeaway is the K-Rock Studios isn't in Cyprus that's a good takeaway we learned that during the studio in-studio appearance

from a one-armed now two-armed Gary I think he's back in a one-arm I saw him leave in here holding his one-arm

in his other hand it was very strange and then we were like how long is it going to take to get fixed and he's like I don't know a couple months

I'm like Why does this take so long? It's a real process. Can we get a follow-up on Monday? Because I want to find out when love died between him and Tina. Yeah, well, they have to try back together. I think they have one of those passionate relationships where they break up and then they make up. She said they break up a lot.

Oh, it happens all the time. Yeah, yeah. Because when he stayed with Jake in his Vegas hotel room, Jake was hearing a lot about his marital problems. Not even marital. Right, that's right. They're just dating. There was a lot of problems. Wait, when Gary stayed in your hotel room in Vegas, he brought a friend with him, too?

Yeah. And it was weird. I mean, I'm very impressed that you did that, Jake. Thanks for taking one for the team. What a weirdo. What is your takeaway, speaking of Jake, from today's show? Jake? The only thing I had that's eight and a half and thick is my dog.

Yeah. What is your takeaway from today's show, Vanessa? Gary got both parts for an arm. That's right, he did. Johnny, got a takeaway? Jake rarely plays with children. Rarely plays with children. Add it to the profile.

He did admit that publicly. Omar, you got a takeaway? We're the Hot Mess Express. Hot Mess Express, baby. Coming right through. Choo-choo. And Allie, what do you got? Claw beats rock.

Claw beats rock in a brutal on-air match of rock, paper, scissors that happened earlier today. Thanks again for putting up with us. If you need us in the meantime, you can find the Instagram. That's at the Klein Allie Show. Anything else we need to promote before we get out of here? No. How likely is it that we're going to get a call from our boss today? You don't think you like today's show?

I think today was a weird one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think he liked it. But I liked it. I mean, we liked it, which means... Can we call him? I think a lot of people didn't like it.

I don't think he's listening. Yeah, I don't think he's listening either. He sounds like he has, like, Fridays off. Yeah, but sometimes he'll listen to a Friday show, guys, and he'll get real mad about it. Yeah, because usually... If he does listen, sometimes it is off the rails, and then it's like a, Hey, guys, let's stay focused. What was going on on Friday?

And we're like, I don't know. It was Friday. Also this is live radio He's got to understand that this is going to happen from time to time And it's going to get replayed Monday morning Let's see if he thought today's show Was up to snuff We can just not

We can just not I bet he won't answer right now Let's not have a meeting after today's show Hello hello Hey we're live on the air Did you think today's show was up to snuff It was perfect It was fantastic

I love it Is that sarcasm I'm hearing? No, not at all. No, it was great. Ask him about one-armed Gary. Did you hear any of one-armed Gary? I did. And you were cool with that?

Yeah. Cool. Before we called you, were you planning on calling us after the show? Perhaps. Oh, man. All right. Won't happen again.

Guess we'll talk to you soon. very soon oh great oh man alright here's your weekend song goodbye

have a good one that's the problem sweet rock those panty lines am I right it's not about that Monday Tuesday

no one cares about Wednesday Thursday forget that noise wait what The percentage is definitely low And the percentage is definitely low for Jake Sucked it dry right away

Who? Get it on Spider! Spider! Spider! Wow, I really regret that last show. But it's too late to take it back now. It will live forever on the interwebs and potentially in your memories. That was the good thing about radio when we started this show. It would live in the air and disappear in the moment. But now you can hold all these clips against us forever.

The best thing about radio is that you can picture what we look like without having to see it for reals. Unfortunately, now that has changed. Yes. You can watch us on livestream on KROQ. And you can click like, subscribe. It really helps us out. and it's a benefit for you because you'll probably feel better about your own appearance. That's what it's all about.

Expensive plastic surgery or just watching us and looking in the mirror and feeling better. That's what you can do right now as we are on KROQ YouTube live streaming every morning. If you want to check out

part of the show while you're getting ready then put us on the radio, drive and work then get to work and avoid your co-workers by listening to us while streaming. There are so many ways

for you to embrace the show and every one of those ways helps us. So even if you're leaving for the day please put the YouTube on leave it on for your cat, your dog, your hamster, It all helps us on KROQ's YouTube. And anytime you want to see a blind taste test, a beer, or a lie day Friday in person,

you can see it all on the live stream. Really dumb radio bits are best with a visual aid. Unk! Unk! Unk!