Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Ally's Cancelled Camping trip

Episode Date: July 27, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. I was so excited to wake up and get in here today. Not so much because of the start of Park Week where we try to save all of the terrible parkers

or at least spotlight them and try to shame them publicly for all of their terrible parking jobs. And we'll officially kick that off later this morning and tell you what you'll be competing for. But in the meantime, if you do come across any terribly parked cars, which you will, the side of the street, taking up a few spots, someone who's clearly able-bodied, parking over a few handicapped spots, whatever the case may be, you can go ahead and get a picture and a tag us and we will tell you how to officially submit so you can win the grand prize this year but that is happening i was excited about that but i was more excited to hear about what took place in the wilderness this weekend because as part of funner

summer a forced funner summer ali was supposed to go camping and she was going to bring vanessa with her it was going to be her first official camping trip it was the only real camping that she ever did before that was car camping which i don't think really counts a lot of questions there were things purchased and sleeping bags and tents and you know she decided to let ali be her lesbian camping guru because Allie camps a couple times a year I've got all the gear for it and uh and then uh something happened well there was talk about it on Friday as we were leaving because we were looking at the weather report and it was supposed to be a high of 95 in the area where we were camping and so there was discussion about whether that was going to be too hot to really

enjoy ourselves because you don't know until you get there if you're going to get a shady camping spot or a center of the sun melting your face off kind of camping spot when they say high of 95 that just means at the worst time of the day it'll be 95 but other than that it should be nice and cool and comfortable like in the evening yeah at like 8 p.m it's gonna be cool and comfortable but when the fun starts it's also the tent baking in the sun all day long it's not exactly you know like breezy and cool in there when you get in it's like hours and hours of think about your car even when you get into it at 8 p.m it's still hot as hell because it's been baking in the sun all day and you have to sleep in that why don't you just not put the tent up until 8 p.m because then you'd

have to what are you going to take it down every day yeah it's only a couple of sticks you don't even barely know how to put up a tent you're going to take it take it down and put it up and you have to take all your stuff out yeah yeah yeah those little poles and they go into this pole goes in that hole this pole goes in that hole and boom tent i guarantee you've never properly put up a Not properly, but I put up a tent. I figured it out and put the poles through those little holes. Sometimes there's some extra poles and the tent falls over, but it's up enough. We decided at the last minute that we were not going to go.

And even I would have still gone, but there was other people that said it's not going to be even fun because we're not going to be able to enjoy ourselves. Even during the day, we're not going to be able to hike. We're not going to be able to enjoy the fun parts of camping during the day because it's just going to be too hot. So we canceled it. And I know, Vanessa, you were a little bit disappointed because you were getting excited about your camping excursion. And we will reschedule and do it at a later time when it's not so hot. Or maybe we'll do beach camping or something where it's a little more familiar for you anyway. I love beach camping.

That sounds fun. You've never been, but you love it. But I feel like, okay, we're going to be cool. It's the sand. It's not really like real camping. Just painting the picture, baby. so then at the last minute my other friends decided you know what eff it let's go i can't believe you're not taking this more personally because if if i was in a situation like you're in

it feels like they didn't want you there and they kind of said uh oh yeah let's not do it let's not do it then you said all right we're out and then they went anyway they weren't sure whether they were gonna go or not and my wife was the one who said we are not going i'm making an executive decision that we are not gonna go so they didn't say they didn't make it sound like it was a team thing where we're all not going and then they end up going without you. Because if that had happened, I would say then you should take that very personally. No, this is like one of

our best friends for like 20 years. I don't think that she would have done all that. Unless her boyfriend hates us. So nobody found out that Vanessa was going through some stuff and she could potentially attract bears? Well, that was another part of it. Why are we bringing that up? Wait, what happened? Hold on. Why are we bringing that up?

Vanessa also said if we don't go, it'd be kind of good because it's that time of the month. And that is annoying when you're camping. I will say. Oh, so Vanessa was... I needed a bathroom. So she thought that she was going to bring the wilderness. Totally.

So my friends decided to go. They said that they put up the tent at like 8 p.m. as everything was getting cool. It felt really good. Hold on. Back off from Vanessa. Hold on. Guys, we're telling a story now.

Back away, Vanessa. Sorry. Go ahead. Is that supposed to be a bear? I don't know. It's the best I could remember. This is news to me. I just said that.

That's all I got. I don't know anything. so then they said the the campsite was so hot in the morning that they had to leave and go into a nearby town and spend the day window shopping which is my worst nightmare this is terrible and then they got back in the evening you know the kid because they couldn't be at the campsite during the day it was way too hot by the time they got there at dinner time it was cool and then they said they proceeded to have the worst night camping that they've ever had before it was like a trifecta of bad they're like air mattress deflated in the middle of the night and

then it started pouring rain what and they were it was raining on them all night long and they didn't have the little rain thingy majig so they they were like screwed all night and they got zero sleep and it made me pretty happy that i didn't go yeah canceling plans sucks especially something you're looking forward to doing but when you find out the people that did the plans had a terrible time for whatever reason you feel like you got the win yeah i know and i that's why i was like let me know how it is and i i was kind of having fomo all weekend i even bought all the stuff for the s'mores and tried to get my wife and kid to make s'mores over the weekend

and like our little gas fire thing, but no one even really wanted to because I was kind of feeling sad all weekend that we didn't go. And then when I heard about it, I was like woohoo! Man, you dodged a bullet on that one. I can't imagine what Vanessa would have been going through if she had had that tent all night in the rain.

You wouldn't have gotten any sleep. It would have been horrible for you, Vanessa. Yeah, that sounds terrible. And then you would have still had to get up in the middle of the night in the rain. Back away from Vanessa, guys. Everyone is, because all these animals are over They're in the office now. Back away. Vanessa, well...

All these wolves are... I don't know what's... Was there a pig chasing her at one point? I think there was a cow. I heard at some point. But, Vanessa, are you glad you didn't go, in all seriousness? In all seriousness, this weekend, yes. I ended up doing other things.

Oh, my God. Get out of here. You have no house. We've got to take... She's got a pheromone thing, I think, is what it is. It's just so not how it works. Well, anyway, Vanessa, I'm glad that you did not have to go camping, but hopefully in the future. Yes.

Yeah, and if the reschedule doesn't work for you, Vanessa, you can always camp in Klein's backyard. I know. That's like plan C. It was like plan B, but now I'm thinking. C or Z? Z. Z. Oh, plan Z?

Okay, good. Nice to be included. We'll take ourselves a quick break. When we get back, we, believe it or not, have news to get to. Then a brand new hour of the show will begin. If you're waiting around for KROQ's summer ticket blowout, fear not. We have it for you and more.