Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Ally's Cat Problem

Episode Date: July 28, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you got to go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. K-Rock, we are Klein Alley Show.

On the way in this morning as I was perusing the parking lot alley to see if there was any terribly parked cars for Park Week, there's another woman who works in this building, and she is definitely giving you a run for your money. She has a license plate frame that says Cat Mom. She drives a Subaru, and she has a bumper sticker that also wants to let you know that she is a Cat Mom. So she's doubling down on letting the world know she's a Cat Mom. She's trying to out-annoying me. She is trying to out-annoy. She doesn't park on our floor, so she must not work at the radio stations, but she must work at one of the more successful businesses.

There must be an REI downstairs that I don't know about. There must be some sort of an outdoor sporting goods store. But as I saw, I was behind this person pulling into the lot today, and I was thinking to myself, I wish Allie would move it along already. And then I realized, wait a minute, there's another person that is trying to steal your thunder. I bet she has a sick vest collection. Oh, she probably does. I wish I could go. 100% lesbian.

You know, there's some, oh, yeah. 100%. Yeah. But then there are weird ones like that are rogue into D's. And I'm like, what's going on? Blows my mind sometimes. I'm like, you're into cats and Subarus and the outdoors. And you're like, men?

What is happening in the world? But you know how you make some decisions in life and then you think, I think years later that was a bad choice. And I wish I could go back in time and unmake that choice. This is about your son? This is about my kids. It's a terrible thing to realize when you're pregnant again. About the pregnancy?

which what are you currently regretting right now well when our cat died and then we were left with only one cat it was like ah now this cat's old and lonely and she needs company we should get another cat and then we go over to this hoarder cat lady's house and she convinces us to adopt two cats because when the old one dies you don't want to have another solo cat that's just lonely now so then you've got two of them so now we're a three cat household and i never wanted to be a three cat household really but in the long run it seemed like the right choice no it didn't and we told you that and we have audio there's so much audio this one they needed a home if you're a woman if you're a woman and you are surrounded by 40 cats like this woman was your job is to

convince everyone that comes to take as many cats as they'll ever take and you were a sucker you're a mark and cats are fine by themselves they love being loners the thing that cats hate more than anything is company well and they love they love being outside they love being outside and wandering around and just finding food you know that's all indoor cats want to do is be outside you tried to normalize this woman whatever her name was sheila or something she's very nice and she does do a lot of good work you tried to normalize that what she was up to was on the up and up and we said to you this woman is insane and her house is insanity and she's trying to get out of the chaos that her house didn't her husband didn't you play some audio of her husband in the other room

guy couldn't even i think he was sitting there dead inside with a laser pointer yeah he was I was trying to watch a TV show and you couldn't even hear the TV over all the cats meowing. Well, and the last time I went there, the cats had all had gotten some kind of disease where they crapped on the trolley. Oh, my God. But my... And you're starting... Like, you're seeing you in the future.

You see what I'm saying? No, I'm not going to get any more cats, okay? Because now we've run into a situation... Pull this tape, please. Yeah, pull... Make a note. Make a note on July whatever today. We're not getting any more cats now.

Allie claims this, yes. Do you remember when we talked to Future Allie and she sounded so, we had a whole conversation with you from the future. She sounded very tired. Yeah. I'm looking at her. I'm looking at her now. That didn't take long. I thought that was going to take 10 years.

Well, there's a reason, too, that I'm very tired. Because, and I don't know if, I think pet owners in general deal with this. It's not just cats. But your animals, when you have them for a while, they develop a schedule, a clock that they're very, very married to. You know, if a dog eats at a certain time or they get walked at a certain time, that is what they have this internal clock and it goes off. It's usually 10 minutes before the thing, but they are ready, right? And our cats are now accustomed to waking up at like 4 in the morning because most days I get up at 4 in the morning. So they go downstairs with me.

They all together, all three of them, traipse down the stairs with me. I open the screen door for them so they can peer outside and hope that they can go outside one day. We have this little routine. The problem is that on the weekends, they also still get up at 4 in the morning. But we would like to sleep in. So this is the issue that we're running into now. But you're about to have a newborn baby, so you know what? You're sleeping in days you're done again anyway.

Well, that's the other thing I'm worried about because these are new cats that have never been around an infant before. So when the baby is born, I'm worried that they're going to be those crazy suffocating cats that jump in the crib and suffocate the baby. Well, there's that to worry about. That's scary. They can get into stuff, too, because they're all young and spry. They got that cat scratch fever crap, the cat feline AIDS, all that stuff. Right, exactly. By the way, I don't have toxoplasmosis, which I'm super bummed about,

because that means I'm not able to eat sushi. At least that was the one bonus. In a cage? Like overnight or whatever? Because I put my mud in the cage, and it's fine. That's what we've been trying to figure out for the last six months, Omar, is what to do about these cats in the morning because they start a chain reaction.

One of them's up. They're scratching at the food. They're using the litter box. They're playing with each other. They get the zoomies, all that stuff, right? So if we close the door, they're meowing at the door. I used to put them in the closet downstairs, but that felt eventually cruel,

especially if we do it at five and we don't get up until seven or eight. They're just sitting there in a closet for hours, which seems like animal cruelty. Do you like these cats? I mean, would you be okay getting rid of two of them? See, that's the thing is now I've developed a really, you know, now I'm, they're cute and they're ours and they have their little home.

You really do feel that way? I do. Like if Omar got rid of his dog tomorrow, I don't think he would think about it ever again. No feeling. You couldn't stop me from dancing all the time. He'd be the greatest day of his life. He would have no idea.

Well, it's not just me, it's my kid also is very close to one of them. They like sleep together every night. You do a draft. You all vote, which will do survivor style. Well, I wish the old one would just. I thought the old one was about to be. Yeah, but now she's fine. She's just living.

Get Vanessa over. She can speed things along. Stop it. You know how long? And then the other option we were considering is a spray bottle, so that I would sleep with a spray bottle, and any time they got up and meowed, I would spray them in the face with water.

Right. But that seems like an issue as well. And I've heard it doesn't even work. So then Katie was researching, and by researching I mean talking to ChatGPT about what to do, And she said, ChachiBT said that we just need to ignore their existence. That's the only solution. And I said, well, I mean, it sounds like chaos over there.

She's like, we can't pet them. We can't acknowledge them. We can't talk to them. We just pretend like they don't exist. Yeah, they're going to turn on you. I'm just saying. Well, then what is the point of having animals then? I'm paying for their food.

Well, cats suck. We told you this. Everyone knows cats suck. That's the solution for every pet is just ignore them and pretend like they're not there. No, no, no. This is a solution for cats. Yeah. Because cats suck.

you can train a dog and by the way Al you understand that they don't really care about you like they're not having these thoughts about you at all

they're not thinking oh she's sleeping my master is sleeping I better respect that yes they do they want me to be up because they're comforted by me

I'm the only one who does give them attention and now because I'm supposed to ignore them I'm like petting them in secret

and they probably know oh no I can't love you you men sneaking off it's like on my lap and Katie's like

what is that under the stairs like you're not nothing we're not doing anything Close the door, I'm masturbating. 818 wanted to know, did they make shock collars for cats? I mean, I'm sure that if you're concerned about being cruel to animals, I would say that's probably near the top of the list of things to do.

But maybe it's those ones where, you know, it doesn't actually shock them. It just gives them like a, you know, a gentle vibration, which they'll probably enjoy and then do it more. Yeah, but does anybody have this problem and has found a real solution? We can solve this right now. Call it 20 gets a cat. I mean, it's like a solvable problem. Besides elimination. I wouldn't be able to tell you.

Your dog probably gets up at a certain time every day, right? No, he's cool because he knows. Actually, your dog's not cool. Why would you say that my dog's not cool? When you called me last Friday, you were getting home and all he was doing was barking his head off. Yeah, because that was my mistake. I shouldn't have called Jake. But right when I walked through the door, he was barking because he was excited to see me.

Okay, so he barked for three minutes. Wow, he barks for that long? Well, until I give him some attention. Yeah, he barks. So if you ignored him, he would probably stop that behavior. Yeah. But he also is probably telling me, get off the phone. It's Jake.

It's probably saying, it's probably giving me good advice. There's a lot of, a lot of advice coming through on the text line, Allie, but most people are just saying that I'll take one of them cats off Allie's hands. So you got that look to look forward to as well. Someone said I had to get rid of, remember my parents had to get rid of their cats when I was born because the cat came up and scratched me when I walked, got home from the hospital. Yeah. But some people have to get, yeah, because the pet is like, no, I'm not doing this baby

crap. I didn't sign up for this. We will take a quick break. We'll get back in a second. When we return, we have ADD news to get to. More importantly, we have tickets for you. It's part of KROQ's summer ticket blowout, and we get to all that after this on KROQ.