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About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be.
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okay enough shilling and now it's time to get into a brand new episode of klein alley show
okay rock we are klein alley show i agree i think it's the most important decision you will make in
your entire life yeah and it should be treated as such well we have had the same couch for
oh god what is it probably over 10 years at this point maybe longer longer maybe you had it didn't
you have before you had it before you got married for sure it was the one thing that my wife bought
like we always said if we ever got divorced that would be her only asset is this couch it's a nice
way to talk about things if we ever get divorced this is the only thing you'll be taking with you
is this couch it's the only thing that she was like i will pay for it with all my money and she
was still in school at the time so she had no money and this was a big deal for her that she
bought this couch i think buying a couch feels like the first grown-up adulting purchase does
feel like that because there's a time when you decide i'm gonna grab a couch off the side of
the road i think jake is still in that phase oh hell yeah he loves road couches uh road couches
can you can score you can score but more often than not you have to think to yourself what
happened upon this couch that forced the person to say i'm gonna go ahead and make this the streets
problem now yeah i'm not gonna go through the effort to explain what's happened to this couch
to anybody i'm not even gonna go through the process of trying to clean it because what
happened here pictures of it every once in a while it's just a lucky situation of didn't fit
or bought a house that was furnished, didn't like the furniture because it didn't match.
Every once in a while, you probably score a decent catch.
More often than not, I would imagine you're getting a lot of evidence.
Well, I don't know about you, but my process was hand-me-downs from my family.
Then it went on to futons and beanbag chairs.
That was the decor in college and then even out of college for a while.
What about inflatable?
Did you ever go with the inflatable phase?
You know, I don't get it.
I feel like I can see Allie as an inflatable furniture person, big time.
I think I went with just pillows for a while.
Right.
Oh, yeah.
This is feng shui.
Are you too cheap to buy a couch?
I think I even had just the cushions of a couch on the floor with pillows.
Where's the frame here?
Ah, we don't need frames.
It's cool, grounded.
Yeah, that seems to be about the life cycle of furniture.
And then you finally decided.
And then I went to street couches for a while and then used couches from Craigslist and whatnot.
And now this was our first new couch.
There's one more phase you're missing out.
Tent sale.
This is where the first...
Oh, yeah.
The tent sale, like the slightly...
Like the floor model couches.
Yeah.
You know what?
And I think this was a floor model.
So technically, we've never purchased a brand, brand new couch.
Right.
Ever.
Look, it's important.
For so many reasons, it's important because I do think you spend more time on that than
probably anything else.
It's the most important piece of furniture in the whole house.
Yeah.
And it's a statement of how you live, how often you spend on the couch, what you do
on your couch.
do you eat your meals on the couch do you basically park up and watch a movie marathon
on your couch or do you want it to be more like presentational for guests and crap like that
new couch kind of sucks though because new couch you're kind of a little bit on edge with you're
on it now not even the fact that's not broken in yet but you're on edge with it and you can't
really get to your comfort zone of i'm gonna throw my feet on this i'm gonna eat on this because you
do like just like with new car new computer you make these rules to yourself but this is not no
one's gonna eat on this and then obviously you know you're gonna cave soon oh i i don't even
think we're going to be like we are we know we are going to be eating getting dirty this this
couch needs to be comfortable and good but durable we need to make sure we can take the couch cushions
off and wash them and all that crap and i even we don't even have a young kid baby on the way it
seems like a terrible time to buy a couch i know it seems like the worst time right but then this
one is getting so ratted that it just feels like we have to it just feels collectively like we've
outgrown the couch the couch is done it's and it's been done we've been talking about doing
this for at least six months and i'm sure people talk about buying a new couch for years for a
long yeah you've been talking about buying a new couch for a year but the problem is every time
someone comes over even though i think that i've had mine almost over a decade too like johnny will
sit down on it he was like dude this couch is so comfortable it's the greatest compliment i get it
is a good couch i people go man i really like this couch i go yeah i know i can't get rid of it and
And I don't want to get rid of it either.
And how did you come upon this?
I bought that one from a guy on, I think, Craigslist that bought it and claimed that it was too big.
He got it home and it didn't fit.
It was too big.
Too big means murder.
Well, it's funny because we brought it over.
I noticed there was like a bleach stain all over the side of one of the things.
And I was like, did you try to clean something off of this?
And he's like, I don't really know.
I'm here already.
Yeah.
He's like, you want me to take $100 off?
I go, all right, that'll explain that.
Cool.
So then you've had this couch for how long then?
10 years?
Yeah, 10 years.
Probably more.
And I would think this is a more important purchase than even a new bed.
It's up there.
Because once you sit on it, you have to know, like, it's hard to tell when you just sit in a couch if it's supposed to be your couch or not.
Yeah, and also you don't know what it's going to wear like.
It could be great for the first few months and then it could fall.
That's the problem with the cheapies is that they maybe feel good right out of the gate, but then all of a sudden you got some sag right in the middle.
You go, can't sit in that seat.
949 said Costco is the go-to for all furniture, including couches.
Well, look, the benefit of that is, Allie, is you know cheap,
but you could sit in that thing for the next 20 years and then bring it back
and say you didn't like it for some reason.
That's a great idea.
They have to give you money.
But I do see a lot of people, and I've sat down,
sometimes I take a break mid-shop at Costco,
and I'll sit down on the couches there.
They seem good, but I wouldn't.
You take a break?
Those are right at the front.
Yeah, well, I walk in, I look at some stuff.
And you're tired already?
I have to sit down.
Yeah, I have to rest.
I have to rest for a little bit.
5-6-2, I kind of want to hear more of these stories.
I recently bought a condo and bought a new couch,
and my friend puked all over it a week after I put it together.
What happened to your couch as soon as you bought it?
This is one of the downsides.
I finally did the thing where I was not ready to get the full new couch,
so I did the putting the new covers on it.
Within a day of that, my kid brought home slime from some birthday party,
and it got stuck all over, and it was that slime that just stained the whole thing.
Yeah, see, that's the problem. It's high risk.
because if you spend a lot of money on a couch a lot can go wrong on a couch and then you can
buy those couches where it's like you keep it forever and you just keep replacing the uh
the covers and you just keep getting new covers new covers so it's basically like a new couch
every few years 760 said i bought a 200 purple velvet couch it was too big to move during our
last move but it was so much more comfortable than the brand new custom 1500 couch that we bought
that's the the other thing too is i've gone to some people's houses and i know that they probably
got it like they're like oh this we had to get this custom made for the space and they they suck
they're not comfortable at all so i think that a good couch can just happen upon you but it's like
if you seek it out i feel like i'm setting myself up for failure my couch is so comfortable that i
fall asleep on it every time i sit down to watch a show and my wife is trying to get a she wants
to get a quote less comfortable couch so that you're not like keeps me awake and so it's more
of a punishment go sleep on the couch it's a punishment yeah right now we get a fight and i
about the couch, I'm thrilled.
I'm like, God, it's an upgrade.
She wants to get an uncomfortable couch.
Just so that you can be more fun.
Well, I know you're going to cheap out.
I don't know how you're going to cheap out,
but I'm sure you will.
I'm willing not to
if it's going to save me money long term.
If I don't have to buy another couch for 20 years,
I'll spend more money now.
This thing is going to get so destroyed.
I'm telling you,
no couch is designed to deal with three cats
and two young, a baby, two lesbians.
I mean, the amount of hair
Just between two women, two kids, and three cats?
That's the upholstery right there.
Just by the wood.
Yeah, just by the wood and the pillows.
You guys will upholster it yourself.
It'll be a couch before you know it.
Listen, but I do agree.
It is a very important decision.
Don't screw it up.
And then you have to have Jake come by and break it in.
That's what Jake does.
No, then every seat is just going to smell like farts.
Someone said as much as they make fun of rental furniture,
the best way to do it is rent something.
see if you like it. Whoa, that seems like a lot
to go through for a couch though. That's a lot.
But look, that's why it's a big decision. I think people put
a lot of pressure on this decision. Well, that's why
they say a lot of them, you have 30 or 60 days
to decide if you like it, but really that's
60 days to forget about it completely and move
on with your life. And sometimes those things,
they're like, oh, by the way, if you take
advantage of that bring back thing, they're like, oh,
you got to pay for that whole delivery. A hundred bucks to bring it back.
Yes, and then you're like, oh, is it worth it?
That, quote, white glove delivery.
We put a rug down, not like Omar bought a rug
compete on it and then try to return it we bought a rug uh put it down realize it's too small so we
said now we need to base this was six months ago we said we we need to roll this up and bring it
back and we still haven't still have still sitting right see they know now yeah they know they know
that they they know that they will win in the battle try and see how you feel yeah right we
gotta take a break we get back in a second when we return someone says ali's gotta go full leather
baby yeah i have you know my dad had a leather couch and he had it for 25 years and it kind of
looked the same as it did when he bought it uh we will be back after this quick break we have news
to get to and then we have some tickets to get you into the thrill capital of the world plus you
could get that 2027 gold pass i just saw everything that comes with that it's unbelievable we'll break
it all down next