Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Ally's Seat Exchange

Episode Date: September 15, 2026

We'll get into an episode of Klein Alley Show in just a moment, but in the meantime, let's tell you about our absolute favorite place on the planet. Yep, that would be San Bernardino International Airport, where you can go through the airport process without waiting in long lines and overpaying for parking. Quick connections to the Bay Area and the world, plus ski and snowboard in Provo from San Bernardino all winter long. Every other airport, you're going to be in long TSA lines, you're going to be miserable, you're going to say, oh, I got to get there two, three hours before my flight.

Not at San Bernardino International Airport. And now we send you on a direct flight into our podcast, which starts right now. Hey, Rob, we are Klein Alley Show. If you were listening yesterday, perhaps you were aware that Alley was not here because she was at a weird-ass wedding that happened on a Sunday. Very gay wedding. A gay wedding, so she had to attend, and she doesn't say no to invites, so there she was. Anyway, there's been a lot of thoughts on the goat line about what the show was like without you here.

Oh, I don't know if I want to hear this. Alley, please come back. Without you, this show just sucks. Please come back. So that person said the show sucked without you, but don't worry. I'm sure there's an equally... It's not true. There's one that's, hey, this is so refreshing.

No, no, no. I'm going to tell you something right now. Nothing counts on the goat line unless we hear about it in jingle form. So someone was nice enough to record a brand new jingle that lets everyone know that you were not here yesterday and what that show was like without you here. So without any further ado, Allie, this is, once again, you've inspired people to write music now. Climb with no alley is just really bad.

Do, do, do. Oh, that's not true. I'm not going to play any of the other messages that say it was the greatest show we've ever had, but we'll save that for another time. Well, you know, I'm lucky I'm here because on the way out on Friday, as you know, right after the show, I went over to the airport and I flew out of LAX on 9-11. And, of course, getting to the airport was a long process. It always sucks at LAX. But then you factor in the fact that I'm El Cheapo and I've paid for the farthest parking lot on the planet that has a shuttle once an hour. It took me a long time to get to the airport.

Finally, when we got to the gate, they said, hey, just want to let you know that the plane is here. The pilot's here, but the pilot has refused the aircraft. And now we're not sure where he is. so we're going to try and track him down and try and talk him into getting back on the plane but if we can't, we're going to have to delay it by five hours. I've heard that verbiage

before. What kind of crap is that? Refuse the plane? And I'm thinking on 9-11, I'm like, what is going on with this guy? Has he lost it? Is he superstitious? Why are we trying to quote, find this guy and talk him into getting back on the plane? I don't want this guy flying the plane. Maybe he didn't

think it was up to, maybe it was a cleanliness thing. Maybe he got on, the cockpit had a weird stank to it. He's like, I refuse. Refuse. If someone refuses the plane and then changes their mind, would you want to get back on that plane? Not really. Right. Exactly.

But I had a situation, too, where I remember they said very clearly the pilot is, I think it was the exact same wording. Like the pilot has refused the aircraft. It was not in it. We didn't know the reason. And then they said that they're going to do a bunch of whatever, double checks and move some things and put in some fuel or whatever. And then the pilot came, you know, they came back and they said the pilot has now accepted the aircraft. And we're like, all right, great. I don't know.

I don't know what. They all look the same to me. What do they walk on and say? I do not accept. I don't know how they do it, but I guess that's. That's so strange. They're up there checking everything. And if the guy felt like something was off, he's like, nope, I refuse.

I'd rather they have a little bit more. Time to, that they have higher standards. Yeah, I'd love them. I love that the airline's like, we don't care about all these mechanical issues. Oh, wait, the pilot does? Yeah, well, that's the thing. Like, whether they have like a rider or something. Like, if you don't have my M&Ms, I'm not coming on?

They wouldn't say anything more. And then eventually they said, all right, this flight's canceled. Anyway, we got on a different flight. We were delayed getting out. On the way back, I flew by myself. And I was again delayed and again cheaped out. Didn't do that thing where you can select your seat ahead of time. So I wasn't sure where I was going to sit.

I thought I was going to be the last row middle. I get such stress listening to the way you choose to travel. It is so stressful. You should like it. It's like a roulette. It's roulette. I've done that roulette before. and it usually doesn't work out well for me.

And when I'm talking about that roulette, I'm talking about actually roulette. You've already lost. I've lost. And I know I like there is... I'm rouletting with life. There's an excitement to the gamble of I will show up and they will put me on a seat.

But the odds are that you're going to be in a middle seat in the back of the plane and it's going to suck. And you're not going to have overhead space and everything else that goes with the worst parts of travel. Klein, you are wrong on all fronts. I got 18C, which is an aisle right behind the exit row. behind the exit right behind the exit yeah no extra leg room but still brags about the row behind the exit row what is that i'm the first one on that slide oh that's what you thought was

exciting but you didn't get to go on the slide so what's it matter if i did i'd be the first one just because you say things like they're a brag doesn't make them a brag i was the first not too far in the front right in the middle over the wing so you got are you getting an aisle i guess is okay i'm getting an aisle and also yes i was boarding group nine but once i got on i was the last person they allowed on with a carry-on before they forced everyone to check their bags feeling right there i was the last bag especially going into lax you know how much longer that can make your flight the worst i sit down in my 18c i'm so happy about it there's nobody sitting next to me yet then a family of three comes up a man a woman and a baby that's about two years old

and they look at my aisle and go oh that's where we're sitting but there's only two of us and the guy says hey i'm supposed to be sitting back there in 26e you know whatever the middle seat back there but i was wondering if you would move so that the three of us could sit together that is like we've all been asked this question before at some point and usually you need to come to the table with more than just look at me i've got a baby that's helpful i agree but it needs to be something more than just that it needs to be either there needs to be a bribe comparable option i mean look it doesn't hurt to ask why split the family apart dude listen that's their problem i got 18 c holy moly people you're traveling by yourself you're not with anybody you know what

they always give up my seat let me say let me say this as a i know you're gonna say clients being a pussy i as well if i was and i have been asked a similar question and i have always said yes, because I know that if situations were reversed, I would want someone to do the same for me. So I think it's a karma thing. Allie, you did not give up your seat? I... Cheat a bitch!

I said, is it a middle? And he said yes, and he pointed all the way back there into the middle, and I said, you know what? Normally I would. Oh boy, I'm pregnant. I agree with Allie. That's way too much of a difference. It's way too much of a difference, And I have to pee like every hour right now.

And I was like, dude, I have to get up so much to pee. And I'm. There's one in the back of the plane. Yeah, but I'm in the middle of the plane. So I said, I'm sorry. Under under other circumstances, I would be happy to do it. But I I'm I'm pregnant and I got to pee a lot. And then he said, OK, yeah, I mean, it would be nice if we could all sit together.

But I understand that you're pregnant. OK, so he goes and he sits down and then the baby starts crying. crying for his dad. Of course! This is what's going to happen. He's going, dad, papa, papa! Now you're ruining the flight for everyone. Now you could have stopped this from ruining everyone else's flight

too. Then I see the wife who's right next to me texting her husband. This bitch next to me. They're doing that thing where they longingly look back at each other. They're trying to pass each other the iPad. I'm like, just keep watching your

show. Look forward, Allie. You made the right You can pay to pick your own seats. They did this hoping that there's good people on the plane. Ali's pregnant. A middle seat? No, thank you.

On a five-hour flight. Please, Ali. It wouldn't have changed your life at all. Yes, it would have. The person that was next to him was sleeping the whole time. I would have had to wake her ass up three, four times throughout the flight. How many times did you go pee? Twice. I was trying to make it more.

one time i didn't even have to and i was like i better get up all right well there you go now at least if you're judging that's why when we decided most least uh who's the meanest on the show now we know we picked according we picked appropriately hey if you want to sit together pay for it wow that's unbelievable she's right she's right or you got it that's what people do they go i don't want to pay so i'm just going to choose whatever seats they're going to give me and hope there's decent people in this world that would understand your situation. Or you go up to the counter ahead of time and you say, hey, is there

any way we can sit together and the gate agent will make it so that they will put me in a seat. You, Allie, more than anybody should understand that they're probably trying to save a buck as well. Hey, you know, for my wedding, I didn't pay to sit with my wife and I asked the guy to switch with me and he said no. So I'm paying it forward.

Allie not giving up her seat. She's like a modern day, she's Rosa Porks. Someone said.