Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Cheez-It Cinnamon Roll Shock Collar Review (FULL SHOW 9/8)

Episode Date: September 8, 2026

The Cheez-It Food Court Pop-up has multiple limited edition offerings, but the one we had in-studio today was the Cheez-It flavored cinnamon roll. Naturally we did a high voltage food review to taste it. Ally wanted to try it but figured she probably shouldn't get shocked with a shock collar while pregnant, so the consensus was for Ally to eat while Klein got shocked. It was just as glorious as you could have imagined. Since summer is (sort of) over we did a final tally of our Funner Summer Challenge. Who do you think won/lost? After going through the results we learned Jake has a 'cactus guy' when it comes to getting drugs, and that Vanessa spent way more time in a Bounce House this summer than we thought. Klein met his hero Magic Johnson this weekend after seeing a movie and immediately embarrassed himself. Hear the interaction and weigh in on what he should have done differently (including what his face did in their picture together). Plus we heard Klein have sex with a 100 year-old woman during Old People Secrets, and learned what phone habit could end your relationship during Clickbait

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Hey, what's going on, Klein Alley?

Are you ready? I love Klein Alley, you little bitch. Klein Alley, it's just okay. Just don't let things bother you too much. Good morning, everybody. Hey, what up, Klein Alley? Whoa, sweet divot steak, did you see that? Meet the Klein Alley Show.

Let's get this show started. The show started. show started. We are live in Los Angeles! 3, 2, 1! And here we go. Allie

is a F-word. Sometimes I need a good reason to get out of bed. Got sleep in my eyes, clouds in my head. I need a shot of something to make my motor go fast. Yes, I do. So I turn

on the Climbing Valley Show. John Cooke. Give me some flying in that show. Zuzan, Zuzan, Zuzan. Give me some flying in that show. Who's your daddy?

Get your motor running with the Climbing Valley Show. I said get your motor running with the Klein and Ellis Show. Woo, woo, woo, woo! It's the Klein and Ellis Show. Low 6.7, KROQFM in HD, Pasadena, Los Angeles, Orange County. The Sonic Pulse of Los Angeles.

This is the world famous K-Rock. Good morning and welcome to your K-Rock. It is Tuesday. Don't be fooled. It has a Monday feel to it, but apparently it was a long weekend, so here we are together again. On a Tuesday morning, if you need us, phone, text line, everything stays the same, 800-520-1067 or 323-TIBOLI. If you're nasty, you can hit us up on that local line, which apparently still works.

You never know when we'll stop paying our phone bill around here. Got to have a backup. Got to have that backup on the ready. That's our burner line. You can use it. Do you still have your second phone? Didn't you have a backup phone? Yeah, I did find out.

I am paying for my second phone. I did find out that I still have a second phone. But I don't know where the phone is currently. I've lost it, and now, sadly, it's running out of battery, clearly. So I think I left it in Florida. Oh. One of the last times I was down there visiting my in-laws. But I have not seen it since.

And because you had two, you kind of forgot. Because you had a phone with you, you weren't freaking out like you normally would if you lost a phone. Yeah. My whole second phone plan was pretty stupid. And it was just keep my, when I upgraded my phone to whatever, the iPhone 15, I was like, I'll just keep this 13 rolling. Why not? throw it at whenever my kids want to talk to me. I'll just give them the phone. Play with this, kids. Right, or if you

say, you know, you had met with your principal, and then you're showing them nudes accidentally, maybe you could have a separate phone just for those dirty pictures so that this doesn't happen. I had a plan. One phone was going to be for pleasure, and one was going to be for business, like a mullet. And I didn't stick to the

plan, and then I lost the phone. So no, I'm in a terrible spit. And by the way, my current phone now is hanging on by threads, and I keep waiting for them to announce this foldable flip phone, which is supposed to come out any day now, I thought. Well, they're going to announce it any day, I think. When is that big announcement coming? I'll tell you, I don't know who I hate

more, Apple with their teases, or Grand Theft Auto. They announce it Wednesday. I'm waiting for it, too. Wednesday. What a week. Usually, it's a Tuesday thing. So, yeah, tomorrow. What a week. Football's back this week. We've got flipping phones back this week, and we're here together. We have a new show, a hang to tell you all about. If you

missed our last thing that we did, which was last week, but feels like forever ago, we've got another thing that you can be in we'd love you to join us we'll give you all them details coming up a little bit later and uh and it was just uh it's one of those weekends where i don't know i know we all did different things and we'll get into it but um i feel like we all handled the long weekend very differently very differently and uh we have to officially as we say goodbye summer 2026 we have to go ahead and tally up all the things that we were supposed to do and figure out were we successful in our funner summer challenge and i think we can get points for conquering other

people's challenges, right? Because I was on a watercraft this weekend, so I can take one of Omar's points. Well, we don't know what Omar did this weekend. Maybe he was on a watercraft. I mean, technically, we were all on watercrafts at one point. There was a lot of rain. My whole street was flooded. That doesn't count as a watercraft.

Yeah, kind of. You drive through it, you can do it. There was a little bit of rain. We'll get into all of that this morning. Also, Allie, you'll like this because you're eating everything in sight these days, being all pregnant. We have the Cheez-It, The viral cheese at Cinnabon. Yes.

Coming by the KROQ studios for a high-voltage food review, which we have to figure out if you're allowed to do while pregnant. That'll all be coming up. The Vox of Ali's Money could be yours if you want to call and claim it now at 800-520-1067. We have some questions about things that happened this weekend. You may not know because if you were out or doing stuff or sitting in traffic or trying to avoid getting swept away by a tsunami or whatever, then understandably, you may not know what's happening in the world.

But there's actually news out there. And if you know more about it than Allie does, she will give you $100 cash money. I recommend you call and claim it now. The number is 800-520-1067. Because we do try to find ways to make your life better, even though a lot of people claim we've ruined their lives. God damn it, Vanessa. I was just having some boring-ass conversation with somebody who raises chickens and sells eggs and stuff. The entire goddamn conversation, I couldn't think of anything other than eggs.

The whole time, it took me every ounce of energy I had to not say that. You guys have ruined me It happens sometimes There's just certain words That for whatever reason Become something that we say Over and over again on the show And then you can never

Think of them again In the real world You know what I noticed Over the weekend was I was looking at a restaurant menu And it had an allergen list And it was fish and eggs And all these

I was like I need to get her to say All these other ones Can you say tree nuts? Because that would really help me Yeah, she I'll tell you There's something about the way

The way that Vanessa speaks, man. I don't know. I love all of it. Here's the fish one, Allie, I think that you were talking about. This is one of her newest ones. Fish, yeah. Something about it. It's great.

Can't wait. Nice allergen. Every day, she's the gift that keeps on giving that, Vanessa. I'm being harassed. Was that live, Vanessa, or was that recorded, Vanessa? That was recorded, but I thought that I agree. I don't know. Okay.

I can't keep track anymore. Anyway, we got lots to get into on the show. As we mentioned, the big announcement. What will be the next opportunity for us to all hang out together? This is going to be a good one. It's happening really soon, so we're not going to dangle this carrot too much in front of you. We'll give you those details coming up in less than an hour and then immediately get you in. It actually combines, I think, everyone's favorite things on the planet.

That's why I feel good about this thing that we're putting together. It is literally, it doesn't matter if you're the type of person that loves doing stuff or hates doing stuff. This is the perfect thing for both types of people. It's also the perfect thing for people who are procrastinators or don't like putting effort in to try and win tickets to Access and things like that. Well, we will talk all about that coming up at 8 a.m. sharp. We come back in a moment, though, with five questions all about the news. Allie will be answering on behalf of us. You get to answer on behalf of the listener.

And if you win, you get paid money. And we'll do that after this quick break at 800-520-1067. That is next. Call right now if you want $100 cash. The number is 800-520-1067. And perhaps you weren't going to call, but maybe Eminem inspired you just now on KROQ. You only got one shot. This is your shot to take Allie's money.

And I know some people are going, I've had multiple shots. have called and been selected many times to battle Allie and take her money, but this is your shot today. So if you have not yet called and you would like Allie's cash and you know a thing or two about the news and you're no lame-o, you can call us right now at 800-520-1067 and we'll get into the round

of Allie Knows the News on this Tuesday morning. A weekend recovery, obviously. The rain here was the big story. They called it a hurricane. I'm surprised, to be honest, that Vanessa didn't call any of us to see if she could sleep over at our houses. Well, because the worst part of it was right by her in Long Beach. She has a fear of tsunamis and hurricanes.

She's very short. A puddle could take her out. I used to live in Miami, and when it rained, it, like, actually rained hard, so that's why I was like, ah, this isn't real. Like, this hurricane doesn't seem legit. But parts of Long Beach got, uh, told people to leave. They said, get out. I'm a couple blocks away.

Yeah, I know, and you stayed put. I need tsunami warning over hurricane warning. Yeah, that didn't freak her out, because she says she's been battle-tested. This is like, if you live in Southern California for long enough, and then you go somewhere else, and they talk about earthquakes, you're like, dude, don't tell us about earthquakes. We know about earthquakes. The East Coast is like, yeah, we had a rumbler a few years ago. It was interesting.

I saw some restaurants I follow that are near that area were like, due to the hurricane, we will be closed for the day. And it's like, you mean just due to the rain? Do you really need to say due to the hurricane? People start paying attention. Rain, they don't pay much attention to. Hurricane, all of a sudden, the ears perk up. You go, wait a minute, what? But how different was it?

You know what I mean? Yes, the waves and stuff was the worst part of it. But other than that, it was just rain. If you were planning on going to the Malibu Chili Cook-Off this weekend, your plans probably got changed, sadly. Was that you? That was my plan. It got changed. Haven't you gone to that the last few years?

I've almost gone the last few years. There's always been some reason I haven't. And this year was because of that. The one day I think it got canceled was the day I was supposed to go, which was on Sunday. I forget when the rain was. God doesn't want you to eat chili. Apparently. I'm your best guy.

I'll go there. I'll eat all the chili. I think the other year you didn't go. There was a shooting there. Is that what happened? I think so. I got to stay away from that place. We say good morning to, wow, there's people all over the place, including Long Beach, that want your money this morning.

Los Angeles, Ontario, a lot of people on the phone that want in, and I get you. Allie's got money. It could be yours. Yeah, I've been on a losing streak. That's right. That's the best part about it. I think Allie's going to go into just a terrible depression leading into giving birth to this second child of hers. One can hope.

And you think it gets bad now. Just wait until you have to deal with two running around. Oh, my God. That's the worst. We say good morning now to Brandon. Brandon, hi. You are on KROQ, and we give you the opportunity from Whittier, California, to take Allie's money. Hey, Brandon, how goes it?

Hi, how are you? Doing fine. Allie will leave the KROQ studios. Your round will officially begin in moments. Five questions all about the news. No cheating. $100 up for grabs. Allie's out of here.

There she goes. Boy, she's moving slow these days. And your round officially begins right now. Allie knows the news. All right, Brandon, question number one. A drunk passenger on a flight had to be basically subdued by other passengers using what? Oh, tape. More specific, please.

Duct tape. Duct tape. Good answer. We got a question number two. Now that summer's over and we're past Labor Day weekend, we can officially declare that this summer did give us our biggest summer movie ever that brought in $4.76 billion. What movie will forever own the summer? Spider-Man. Question number three.

And you're off to a great start. Question number three right now. Over 1,500 pounds of what have now been recalled because of Listeria concerns? um i'm gonna say uh meat bad meat bad meat give me a more specific type of meat just in case this comes down to a tiebreaker uh shoot um i'm gonna say uh man poultry poultry all right we got a question number four right now According to some new Google trends and research of all 50 states, including the nation's capital,

this is America's most popular beer right now. What is it? I don't know what my popular beer is, but I'm going to say White Claw. White Claw, which I don't even know if I'd put in the beer category, but okay, I'll write that down. You know what? Let me switch it. Let me switch it. Go ahead. I'm going to say Michelob Ultra. Is that your beer of choice?

It is. Okay. And finally, we go to question number five. This reality star has just been released from the hospital after an ongoing emergency surgery for bypass. Guy had a heart attack, basically. Which reality star is now out of the hospital and alive after an emergency bypass surgery? oh that's a good one that's uh rick harrison rick harrison from uh the great pawn stars all

right let's bring ali in let me tell you uh don't say anything else ali's back in the k-rock studios right now you uh you struck me as a guy that was not going to do well but i will tell ali not to not to get inside your head ali this guy gave us quite a few right answers so i'm just going to warn you my mom always said i had a my mom always said i had a face for radio great hilarious very it's a funny joke i hear that a lot and that's a nice thing to hear from your own mother now i want you to win question number one drunk passenger had to be uh subdued on a flight by other passengers using what what they use to subdue this man well it's always good to have it on the ready duct tape ah he also said duct tape and uh fascinating fascinating picture that's been going quite

viral. And it's amazing that everyone banded together to do that. What a great group effort. Just by the way, I believe that there's always someone on every flight that probably should be duct taped to their seat. They're maybe not the same type of drunk, aggressive person as this, but there's always one person that's duct tapable, and I think that everyone

should vote in the middle of the flight, no matter what the flight is. Like on your screen? Yeah, who's the person that gets duct taped? And we just pick the person. There's good, trust me when I say, could be a loud chatter, could be someone who's jumping up and down, going constantly. Could be a flight attendant. Right? Right, they think it's comedy hour, they're trying out their fresh five minutes. They're getting real

possessive about the overhead space. Got a question number two and it is tied up 1-1 as we go to question two. Summer 2026 is officially over now. Labor Day weekend has come and gone, but we have an official biggest grossing movie ever for a summer

and it brought in over 4.76 billion dollars. What movie was that? I believe that would be Spider-Man. He also said Spider-Man and it wasn't even close. You think a movie that brought us Odyssey and brought us all these other films. But Spider-Man, that was the odds-on runaway, just monster.

Highest grossing of the year or ever? Summer. They said summer. Summer. Of the biggest summer movie in the history of summer movies. Even when they do that, you know, a lot of times they'll do the inflation and they'll say, gone with the wind. By today's standards, we'll have made this much. It's not even close. Go to question number three. It's tied up 2-2.

1,500 pounds of what have been recalled because of listeria? Oh, no. Concerns over listeria. What else can't I eat? I want to eat everything. I don't know I guess I'll go with meat I need more specific Probably deli meat

Okay He said meat And then I said more specific And he said poultry Allie I said meat You said I said more specific You said deli meat

I mean that is statistically The meat is technically pork And more specifically It is Allie's favorite Dry cured pork jowls Oh I love it Which is one of Allie's I can't eat me some jowls

One of many Allie's many nicknames Allie loves pork jowls I used to call me pork jowls In high school That name's coming back, baby. No one gets the point. We move on to your next question.

Who is bummed about this? A lot of people are upset. Did you eat pork jowls recently? I did. Why? They've been recalled. This is America's most popular beer. According to Google Trends and research looking at all 50 states, including the District of Columbia, this is America's most popular beer.

Well, I think it's Modelo. Ooh. He started by saying White Claw, but then when I made fun of what a stupid answer, he changed his answer and he gave us his beer of choice, which is the right answer. Oh, hold on a minute. Michelob Ultra. No, no, no, no, no. That doesn't count. Well, how do you say?

You made fun of his answer, so he changed it? Yeah, that's right. So, no, his original answer is White Claw. It was all kind of one thought, though. He said White Claw. I said that's not really a beer, and then he gave us a beer, and he's right. Why would you point that out? Why are you helping him?

You know what? We always try to help the player. So he ended up getting it right, and now he's going to win? Well, he's up one with one question left. Don't count yourself. For God's sake, this is getting ridiculous. The last guy I gave $100 to obviously was cheating. Everybody knew it.

Omar, you heard the conversation. The caller, he corrected himself. He kind of realized last minute after he spit it out how stupid of an answer it was. Yeah, he realized. Did you realize what a dummy you were, Brandon? I sure did. And most men on this earth are dummies, and I apologize, Allie. So he realized he was-

So if you really apologize, why don't you take away the point there, buddy? I don't think it'll matter, because this next question, there's no way you're going to get, and he got it. Okay, well, then let's just forget it. It's a moot point, and we go to this final question. This reality star is out of the hospital after an emergency bypass surgery almost took him down. Some dog. Some dog is your answer? I don't know anything about reality stars.

It's a guy? What about Clavicular? What? I don't know. Is he a reality star? He said the guy from Pawn Stars. He knew the story. Rick Harrison.

All right. All right. So what, he won by two points? Yes. Goddamn right he did. Hey, congratulations, Brandon. Make a little ultra and Pawn Stars. This is all boy news.

$100 richer. Courtesy of Allie. Allie, what must you shamefully admit over the airwaves of this guy that's got a radio face? Um, my name is Allie And I've also got a face for radio Alright, congratulations Brandon Just like that, you've won $100 You go tell your mom the good news, alright?

Thank you guys, I appreciate it Alright, hold on one sec Probably He's done a lot of things Apparently they've arrived now The viral cheese at Cinnabons Vanessa's very excited about this And Allie would like to be

I think you're the one who wants to do it But we're not sure if you're allowed to get the shot collar Because you're pregnant I think that's, I don't know if that's been studied enough. I'm sure there's a doctor. Women being electrocuted during pregnancy. Maybe they can give them superpowers. Yeah.

I feel like it's probably okay because if the shock collar is not anywhere down there, it's not going to like start contracting. Like I think if you put it by your neck where we usually put it. I think there's a problem with blood flow. They get really big on blood flow. Like if my heart rate gets too high, then it can compromise the baby. Or it could turn my baby into Magneto. Oh, that's cool.

All of a sudden all the metal stuff starts going towards Ali's stomach. If you're a doctor or a vet or something and you know about this, let us know. Because if not, Allie did want to be the person to try because she's all pregnant. And this is a perfect pregnancy craving thing. It's part Cheez-It, part Cinnabon. She's real excited about it. This is a great way to cap the fat Allie weekend that I had. And I don't know if you can keep up with me.

But it started off on Friday on my road trip. And it was our one stop that we made on the drive all the way up to Tahoe, which was seven and a half hours on the way there and nine on the way back. uh my one stop was at mcdonald's and i decided usually i just get some fries and move on but i decided to go with filet of fish because i haven't had that for years yeah the fish how many did you go with you know i just went with the one but i also got double fries for my kids so i ate one of his fries and ate my medium fries nice and then we also had the what i think is the best car snack for a road trip sunflower seeds i pounded down a whole pack of those that's nothing to brag about. Sunflower seeds?

I mean, that's like not pregnancy bragging. I mean, that's a lot of nuts. I was hoping you had like a jar of mayonnaise in your lap or something. Yeah, dipping seeds into mayonnaise. Oh, sorry, I forgot to mention I was dipping the seeds into mayonnaise. Well, that's worth mentioning then. I mean, just like with sunflower seeds, professional athletes use that. Full breakfast the next

morning, waffles with whipped cream. Yeah. And I not only ate my waffle with, I got like one of those combo breakfasts where they give you the sausage and the bacon. I got to pick, but I picked both. Right, smart. Then I did the eggs and the waffle with the whipped cream and the syrup and butter.

Did the waiter try to tell you, ma'am, you have to pick which one? And you're like, both. Don't tell me what to choose. Do you have any pork jowls also? Bring some pork jowls. I also ate the rest of my kid's waffle because he's not going to eat that.

So that's been great to order what I want, eat the whole thing, and then eat his thing. Then for lunch, I had a nice big vat of clam chowder. Oh, man. Which I actually sent back because it was cold when I got it. And then I polished down a wedge salad as well, probably one of the most unhealthy salads. I ate so much worse than you, and I'm not even pregnant.

I'm not done. I'm only in Saturday. But you're already in your roundup. I haven't even gotten to the fried artichokes and pizza, the two different kinds of pizza, plus a giant bowl of pasta that I ate. But it sounds so sad, because the fried thing you went with was an artichoke. That was the only fried thing they had on the menu. And the quote thing that you mentioned was sunflower seeds and a wedge of lettuce.

This is like the saddest. The wedge salad, which has. You sent back the chowder. No, I sent it back for them to heat it up again. For more. Because it was too cold. I need this bowl overflowing with chowder. Do you see me?

And I did it in the bread bowl. Oh, nice. You ate the bowl? Oh, yeah, of course I ate the bowl. Yeah, that's good. And I saved it for later. For the rest of the road trip. Take this bowl to go.

We also went to a German restaurant where I had bratwurst, sauerkraut, mashed potatoes, a Bavarian pretzel. I had my kids' french fries and the other french fries that was for the table. And then I ordered what I wanted and also made my wife order what I other wanted. Oh, nice. Who I other wanted. That's good. That's good.

All right, you're getting there. And then when I got through that, we switched. And I had some spaetzle, which is pounded meat that is also fried, by the way. Yeah, don't you... With Jägersauce. Don't you think that the people around you are, like, nervous if they don't eat their food quickly? Yeah, next morning I started with a sub sandwich. Okay, now we're getting somewhere.

All right, good to know. That's good to know. I'm proud of another thing of Sunflower Seeds. If you've been missing Fat Allie all these years, like we all have, she'll be back, baby, and she's doing her part. Bring back Fat Allie. Dude, I needed to eat on the way home because it was nine hours in the car. It was one of those situations where people were getting out of their cars, running into bushes to pee. People were cutting each other off.

I thought I was going to see my first stabbing, road rage stabbing on the way home. What was your longest complete standstill where no cars were moving? Like, was everything crawling always or were there just no cars moving at all? I did one of those things where there's a certain ETA, right, and you're on the main road, and then there's a cutaway that you could save 10 minutes by going basically on a dirt road. It was an unpaved dirt road where it was like farmland. So me and like four other cars decided to make that choice. And at first, we're blowing past everyone. We're going, this is the best decision ever.

Yeah, I know that feeling so well where you go, oh, my God, we are geniuses. They're all just sitting there not moving. It quickly backfires, though. I don't know what stupid town in the eastern Sierras decides to do all these road closures on Labor Day weekend, but it was not moving. We were blown past everybody for the two and a half miles, and then to get back on the freeway. We had to cross over one side of the freeway to get to the other, and I think we didn't move for 45 minutes. Yeah, that's about right. And then you start going the whole time, what a stupid idiot I am.

And you kind of look at the freeway, like, I think that was the car I was behind before I did this stupid move. Oh, we started looking at dirt patches going. I think we could go across that to get onto the fruit. People were breaking the law so badly. But we got there eventually. And then I ate when I got home. All right. Dino nuggets.

Found Allie, baby. She's back. She's growing by the moment. Enjoy her while you can. And if you don't believe us, you can watch us right now on YouTube. Do not adjust your monitor. That is what's actually happening right now before your very eyes. We'll take a quick break.

We're back in a moment. We have ADD news to get to. And then we'll get into a brand new hour of the show, complete with a high-voltage food review. If you're a medical professional, we need to know before Allie does it, is this something that would be frowned upon? to let a pregnant woman be part of a high-voltage food review, even though she is trying

the Cheez-It Cinnabon, which apparently smells great. I can smell it from the back office. If I can't be on the high-voltage food review part, could I please pay someone off to have their Cheez-It Cinnamon Roll? No, you'll have to watch us eat it, which is even funnier. No! So we'll come back with that and more after this.

Klein Alley Show. Klein Alley Show. Klein Alley Show. And did you hear the good news? Football is back this week. It's a great week one of the greatest weeks of the entire year because football action is back i believe the rams are on their flight all the way to australia right now and football is a lot more fun for you if you're on the prize picks of course now is the perfect time to download if you're not already

playing prize picks or maybe you download a few seasons ago and forgot about it get back into prize picks use the code kroq and you get 150 in lineups once you win your first five dollar lineup that's right 150 in lineups when you win your first five dollar lineup prize picks is fun and easy and all you got to do is pick more or less when they give you certain player stats and it could be simple stuff like yards touchdowns in a game where you can go very specific and detailed on certain players and go i think this player is going to run for over 73 yards uh more or less all you got to do is pick more or less you don't have to be a genius but you have hot takes on football might as well turn that into profit for you as we turn stats into stacks on

prize picks and now is the perfect time during stack september to download and use the code kroq Once again, it's PrizePix, available in all 50 states. PrizePix, run your game. We'll get into the ADD news in a moment. In a brand new hour, the show will begin with a big announcement as to what we'll be doing next and why we'd like you to join us there. First, though, we love inspiring people to listen to the show. People have been inspired by this show to do lots of things, mostly to change the station.

But this person was inspired, Allie, by shows that we did last week. I got this little song inspired from Thursday and Friday's show. Jake is a baby, baby, baby, bitch. bitch. Jake's a baby back, bitch. Jake is a bitch. Beautiful song. Thank you, sir. Glad we have inspired you to create original music.

Good morning to Reese. You're on the phone right now at KROQ. Hi. Hi. Good morning. I'm calling because I heard Allie talk about she was eating a sub sandwich. You have to be more specific. She's eaten quite a few sub

sandwiches. She had one for breakfast. You had one for breakfast this morning. did you make it at home or did you like was it from a restaurant no yesterday i had a sub sandwich for breakfast and don't worry i asked them to heat the meat okay because i i recently had horrible horrible bacterial diarrhea infection from a sandwich spot that i know that you have eaten that so i just wanted to warn you it was awful awful stop describing it you're making me more hungry this this was uh you you know this came from the meat you're convinced of it i'm convinced of it i had labs done and it was specific to turkey and chicken only and i don't have any

of that in my house so please be careful i there was blood coming out of my elbow okay you said turkey and chicken can you give us the full recipe we're going to recreate your pepperoncinis on you got any pepperoncinis and pickles well of course of course but please be careful ali don't eat that crap okay thank you that's uh heat your meat is what i like to say around the meat heat the meat uh let's get into this your your news uh well someone said i picked the wrong time to start eating breakfast today you sure did every day is the wrong time and now here's your news grab your adderall it's time for add news right when we start to forget about them they come back into the spotlight we cannot go too long without talking about the menendez brothers a couple

years back they were resentenced to 50 years to life which made them eligible for parole under california law their last parole hearing did not go their way i was disappointed in that i really thought they were going to be released you got incarcerated you had to sleep in your car for a week i had to sleep in my car yeah after a day or two i think you guys let me off the hook because it was really rough out there uh that was last year which meant that their next parole hearing would not be until 2028 but they have just been granted an early parole hearing oh you want double or nothing, I'll bet. Which would put their next chance early next year, March

2027. I'll stick with my original side, which is they will not be granted early Pearl. Do you want to take it again? Do you want to bet on the Menendez brothers again? What are the stakes this time? Same time. Do I have to give birth in my car? Yeah. Everything in the car, one week. Oh, I'm not doing it again. You won't do it? Can I have time to think about it?

Because the first time you were so confident and so convinced that they were going to get this early release. Yes, but that was when the other guy was the DA and he was like, I think they're reformed. I think they should get out, and then the new guy came in and he hated them, and so he made sure that they stayed in prison. Whatever stakes you want, I'm in, and I believe them. I want all the

stakes. I know you do. The stakes will be stakes. I want more stakes. And the Menendez brothers, I have a feeling, will be locked away for a long, long time. Well, when you think about it, they did murder their parents with shotguns. And then they went on a spending spree after, and I think they did feel

sort of guilty because they were talking to their therapist about it, and you know, kind of processing how guilty they felt and things like that but over the years their loved ones have said hey they're totally reformed they're totally new people we're proud of the men that they've become they're both in their 50s now but when you talk to them they still focus more on the you know the fact that they're victims the fact that they've been abused and they've had to endure all this horrible stuff and that's why they did what they did and they said they're like the da in them they said there's not really a whole lot of remorse it's more like hey this happened to me and it's

dad. If you're one of those people with a fear of needles, you probably get a lot of anxiety when you do things like get a vaccine or a simple blood test, but there may be an alternative for you coming soon. And this is something that honestly, I would rather have a needle put in my arm than do dental floss may replace needles when it comes to vaccines. Most vaccines today still come the same way, a needle in the arm, but researchers at North Carolina state are testing a new approach that could one day change that. They should be able to just go and floss. Yes, floss.

The small space between the teeth and gums may be a perfect doorway for delivering medicine. That permeable tissue could allow vaccines to enter the body without a needle and trigger stronger protection where many viruses first attack, like the nose, mouth, and lungs. So if you think about it,

when most of us floss, which is like once a year, even though we tell our dentists we do it every day. I got a dentist appointment at noon, until I got a floss right before I go. It's a dead giveaway because as soon as they put the floss in your teeth, you start bleeding uncontrollably. And you have to act surprised.

Right. So you think about the access to the blood and the bloodstream is pretty easy to access, right? More than putting a needle in your arm. So it kind of makes sense that putting a vaccine in that floss would put it right into the bloodstream pretty easily. The gums are the window to the soul or something like that. And I believe...

I think the gums are the... Aren't they connected to the gut or the heart or something? There's some connection there Because I know, like, with dogs, a lot of times dogs, bad gum health, that's game over for the dog. So I imagine it's similar for humans. It's got to be. It's got to be, right? And then finally, I know that it feels we live in a divided country.

But every once in a while, the people come together for something that truly matters. And in this case, it was to duct tape an annoying passenger on an airplane to his chair. It was a beautiful moment. It was an American Airlines flight that was going from Dallas to Newark. Already, you're going from Dallas to Newark. Not a great situation. but there was a guy in his 60s named Arthur. He started going into

a violent meltdown. He said we're all going to die. This plane is going to crash and a few passengers including this one guy who owns a gun shop in New Jersey. He said I don't love to fly and this guy is looking at me and telling me all these horrible things so I said you're going to meet a couple of new friends when we land

and he started subduing him. Then the flight attendant handed him some duct tape some zip ties. They were able to get this guy totally attached to his chair which i'm amazed that after the past few years because you know airline passenger behavior has gotten a lot worse over the past few years that we've had no other solution than duct tape when you have the greatest solution on the planet for solving all problems and we've seen them duct tape in the wings on the planes remember those those videos so duct tape is used to keep the planes together

keep the passengers together our luggage together that's it one roll of duct tape is enough to pretty much solve every problem you could encounter yeah airline etiquette it's getting worse that's what about half of people say in a news survey. The biggest annoyance for airline passengers, can you guess? Loud conversations and people watching movies or listening to music without headphones.

I don't like it. Is that even possible? People watch TV on their phones on the plane without headphones. Are you serious? Imagine being in a flight between those two people. And the most annoying are us. They're ducked at their mouths. Alright, we get into a brand new hour of the show right now with a

big announcement if you'd like to get together to hang out and do some drinking or not the choice is yours every bit of detail you need is now this is the world famous good morning just after eight o'clock on a tuesday long weekend recovery if you're hungover we get it uh or perhaps you are still drying off from the hurricane that we've all survived together drive through it you can do it good morning my name is klein that is ali morning she's still very pregnant right now you've got the postmaster johnny and vanessa in the back taking the calls at 805-201067. That is the audio sniper known as DJ Omar Khan.

Hello. And then, of course, you have Jake the Nerd, who's got his own theme song. And if you have your own theme song, that means you've officially made it. So, once again, that's Jake the Nerd. Jake is a baby back, baby back, baby back bitch. Jake's a baby back bitch.

Jake is a bitch. Beautiful song. Thank you. You can always interact with the show lots of ways, live at 805-201067 or the GOAT line, which is 844-956-GOAT. this hour on the show. It finally happened, Allie. The only person I ever wanted to meet in the flesh

I ran into over the weekend. It was random. It was organic. It was exactly how I wanted it to go down. And I got to meet my boyhood hero. You don't ever text me over the weekend and I got a text from you and I was so happy for you because I know you've dreamt of this moment.

I'm sure it wasn't a make-a-wish thing because that picture looks special. A lot of people said it. Maybe it was. And I didn't know. Well, because you were wearing a sweater wrong. I didn't know you could do that. There's a lot of problems I have. You just had the hood on.

It was that glazed over look on your face, too, by the way. It was the moment I had been waiting for since probably I was in fifth grade. And it finally happened, and I did so many things to ruin the moment. And we'll get into all of that coming up later this hour. But right now, let's tell you about something good that you can do with us. We had so much fun at that endless summer kegger, but we were annoyed because there was a limit to how many people that we could get there. And there was tickets.

You had to win. And that was kind of the rules of the hotel. So we decided let's do another thing immediately following so that we can actually get together with everyone who couldn't make it. And people, let's be honest, Orange County, not convenient for everyone. Took me three hours to get there. So we're doing it back at our old stomping grounds alley. We will be at Descanso on Wednesday. Tacos.

That is, I believe, Mexican Independence Day, September 16th from 11 to 1230 or later. Usually we stay around later than that, but it'll start 11 a.m. And this is, for the first time ever, the Klein Alley Show Fiesta Siesta. Because we couldn't decide if we wanted a party or nap. We wanted both. We wanted both. And Jake's a big napper. Some people like that middle-of-the-day nap.

Some people like that middle-of-the-day party. So we said, why decide? Let's just throw a Fiesta Siesta. And sometimes you can do a party followed by nap. Or you can do nap followed by party. It's your choice at the Fiesta Siesta. We're trying to figure out if we can get some cots set up there on one half at Descanso. So you can either go for the nap half, the siesta part, or the fiesta part.

The choice will be yours. You can just put some chairs together into little beds. There will be mariachi bands performing and live music and a bunch of other stuff happening. So it will be difficult to get the siesta. But if you want the siesta or you need the reason to, you know, we're all sleep deprived, you can go with the siesta part. So it's the Klein Alley Show Fiesta Siesta happening on September 16th back at Descanso, mid-Miracle Mile, Wilshire Boulevard, from 11 a.m. on. And this is the best part about it. music by the ear ringers we got live bands there mariachi bands as well but we have our best piece

of merch we've ever given out i don't know johnny we posting this or is this a surprise can people see what it looks like it's up this is our first ever official low slogger shirts and a if you're a slogger and you've been slogging along with us for the last four plus years you have earned yourself a shirt or if you're a new slogger and you've recently joined the slog and you listen to the show a lot of listeners that have been with us i mean it was an article that was written about our show a negative article that talked about how this year was this show was quote a four-year slog before we found anyone that decided to listen before kevin writer's stamp of approval right before we got his stamp of approval and then we went from slogger to whatever the hell

we are now but regardless that's right we're in fluke phase but if you're a slogger the very least we can do is give you a shirt to show the world you are a slogger and also if you can't afford actual dodgers merch because it's very expensive this will pass so check it out it's up on our instagram at klein alley show i think it's the best piece of merch we've ever had it'll be free for the first 107 people that show up plus the gourmet taco and that's all happening

all the details up on our Instagram right now at Klein Alley Show and if you don't want your free taco you can give it to me Allie will eat

every free taco that you don't eat which is going to be an amazing thing and we are going to attempt to see if Allie can set some sort of a pregnancy world record

at this event as well great so it's going to be a good one it's happening once again a week from Wednesday back at Descanso 11 a.m.

so come up with your excuse now so we can see you there all the details up on the Instagram right now at Klein Alley Show So here is your OutKast, and then your clickbait will be next.

Jay Rock, we're the Klein Alley Show. Let's solve the Internet's biggest riddles right now, and then we'll get into more of the show for you, including the high-voltage food review. We've got that very limited edition. I think they just launched this, what, last week? Was it Friday? Yeah, I believe it was the 3rd of September.

The new Cheez-It only food court options limited, the Cheez-It Cinnabon collab sort of thing situation that you're going to try, and someone's going to wear the shock collar to give it a full review over the airwaves. And it's been a while since we've done a high-voltage food review. That'll be coming up. Allie wants to do it because she really wants to eat the Cheez-It Cinnabon, but she's pregnant. We're not sure if we can actually do the electricity part of it.

Yeah, it does need doctor's clearance. If you're a doctor, you can just call and clear me. I'm good. Yeah, doctor, medical school. Vet. I'll take a vet. Maybe you're an honorary doctor. Maybe he's on WebMD.

Yeah, any of those things that make you even semi-qualified. Whoever is the closest to being an actual doctor vet will call us, 800-520-1067. If we get the clearance alley, we'll do the high-voltage food review. She is pregnant. We should point that out. It's time now to figure out what is going to kill your relationship currently involving your phone. It's clickbait. Here we go.

Bait. This is the question now. We all have very disastrous phone habits, and we all know what those are, and there's a ton of them. Sometimes you're just sitting in the bathroom far too long because you're on your phone scrolling. And then before you know it, you've got a hemorrhoid. wait what you do no not me in general that can happen this is the top phone behavior that is going to kill your marriage according to a relationship expert who has dealt with thousands of couples they have found that if this exists in your relationship there is a pretty good

chance that relationship is going to end so this is the phone behavior that is going to completely ruin your current relationship it's ending marriages it's ending relationships and if you're doing it or if it's happening in your relationship there's a good chance that that relationship will end this is uh gonna be the answer and i know it because when you are concealing your phone say if you have to go to the bathroom or something and you have to set your phone down you set it face down so that nobody can see what pops up on the screen why are you doing that when somebody's trying to text and somebody looks over your shoulder you're pulling it away for some reason you're afraid to show them what's on your phone that is going to be a number one indicator

that you're hiding something so you're saying face down or uh or just anything concealing your phone and yeah just trying to to hide your screen from your significant other in every way ally claims is a is a big indication that your relationship is doomed now when you found your wife's phone and you went through it and it was it face down yes it was i believe but it was charging i don't know if that makes sense that matters at all but that means it's free reign right i've got it it's in a common area it's tethered to the wall so i can clearly play with it uh jake what do you say i think the most egregious thing would be like if they answer their phone while you're having sex people that are taking phone calls while you're being into

Or like answering a text, yeah. Right, if that happens, then there's a good chance they're not that into the sex, they're not that into you, and perhaps, has that happened to you, Jake? Oh, no, man, not me. I don't even have sex. Right. No, but you do. Well, now you are. Yeah, I am, but no, it hasn't happened.

Have you ever done that, Klein? Answered a phone call? I've not answered a call, but like if my phone is face up. It's probably finished by the time it finishes ringing. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, dings. I will, yeah, the ding is me. A little more me than the phone.

It's me. It's a reminder. Finish. Done. I'm very good that way. Omar? Yeah. What is the answer?

All those are great answers. I'm going to say not having access to the phone at all. Like, you don't share your unlock code with your partner. Passcode. Yeah, because I have my wife's and she has mine, and we don't have anything to hide. I think that's healthy. You ever check the password just to see if it's been changed? No, I haven't checked it in a long time.

So, you don't know? I mean, you think you have the password. But also, I mean, I don't think I could find anything on her phone that would really take me off or, you know, I don't know. Just not that, that, um. You don't care enough? I don't, yeah. Just like, what am I going to do to Snoop? You know what I mean?

Right, right. I don't know. I don't want to waste my time doing that. Well, one of you is right. And most of the things that made this list, which are the red flag that will show you your relationship is doomed, do have to do with secrecy, turning your body away, phone down, face phone down. Totally overthinking. But then there are reasons, and we've talked about this, there are reasons that you wouldn't want your partner to have access to your phone

that have nothing to do with infidelity at all. There's tons of other things. Like what? Surprise planned. A surprise birthday planned. Oh, yeah. Planning a surprise party. That wasn't a lifetime plan.

Yeah, when does that happen? Around the birthday. But, I mean, think about all of them. Well, I know when it happens. When would that happen? Near a birthday? I mean, I am dumb. I thought you were having...

I'm just saying, how often have you done that? I thought that was a pregnancy brain thing. I didn't know this happened. I need clarification on when a birthday surprise party would happen. Well, a real surprise would be nowhere near the birthday. So, I mean, if you want to really surprise someone, do it six months away. Say, what other than a birthday surprise party? Well, if you're a man and you're planning an engagement, a proposal...

Okay. There's a lot, a lot... You remember all the lies you had to tell Katie when you were planning on proposing? Do you not want your wife to see your phone for any reason? That's not sexual? Well, that's the other. I'm glad you brought that up, too. There's other stuff in the browsing history that I wouldn't want her to see.

That's not sexual? Well, most of it is. Okay. So just all sexual, then? Yeah, a lot of it. Okay. Eighty-nine, 99%. And the other 1% is surprise party.

Could be a surprise party. Yeah. I don't want her to go through it. So is that the answer? Yes. Is hiding the phone? It's the passcode thing. Oh.

The answer is if you don't know the passcode, they won't give you the passcode, or they're constantly changing the passcode so you don't have access to it. That is the number one indicator, according to this therapist. Surprise! I'm cheating on you. Surprise! There's going to be some people at the surprise party you don't know yet because I'm banging them on the side. When we get back,

it's not every day you get to meet your hero. They always say never meet your hero. I had the opportunity to meet not only my hero, but I believe a hero for many people that have lived in Southern California. I'll tell you everything that happened when I finally got to meet my boyhood hero and how it backfired pretty quickly. That'll be next on California.

Now, good news, Allie. A guy who claims he dressed as a doctor one year for Halloween has given you the A-OK to take the high-voltage food review. Oh, thanks. So, that guy, if you are tied loosely to anyone in the medical field and would like to give Allie permission to put on the shock collar and be part of the tasting of the high-voltage food review, let us know. Right now, the most official word we have is from a guy who one time dressed like a doctor, a gynecologist, more specifically, for his Halloween costume. Yes, but 626 said they've watched Grey's Anatomy and can now say that I should not do the challenge based on what they've seen. If you're tired and you have any sort of a medical clearance, regardless of how loose it may be, let us know before we do the high-voltage food review coming up later this hour. On Saturday, this weekend, I had one of the most exciting, exhilarating things happen to me that I could have ever imagined.

Because after years and years and years of coming close but never actually making contact with my boyhood idol, I got a chance to meet Magic Johnson. And I grew up a huge Lakers fan, even though I was on the East Coast, but specifically a Magic Johnson fan. I thought, to me, there was no Michael Jordan, Larry Bird. I thought they were all losers. Oh, you thought Michael Jordan was a loser? Most of my friends liked Michael Jordan. And then a few of the racist ones were just big fans of Larry Bird. Was this like the equivalent of, for girls, Backstreet Boys or NSYNC?

It was like you had to pick? And they all hated each other? Most people, growing up, if you grew up in the 80s, 90s, like Jordan was obviously, you know, He was the great, and everyone loved Jordan, but all these people were walking around wearing Bulls starter jerseys, and it was all Jordan, Jordan, Jordan. I liked Magic. I thought the Showtime Lakers were exhilarating to watch. I thought they were more fun, and I liked Magic because he was not, in my opinion, he was not the ball hog. He wasn't a look-at-me guy.

He was just a good team player. He was a good team. He made the guys around him better. I always respected that. He wasn't a guy that was, I'm going to hog the ball, and I'm going to put up 50 points. It was, let me see if I can break the assist record by being the guy who makes everyone else on the team look better. Right. So it was kind of like a LeBron versus Curry modern day.

Similar-ish, I guess. I mean, Curry still shoots a lot. But, yeah, I just thought that I always liked Magic. I always loved him, grew up. Did you have pin-ups of him? Pin-ups. I wouldn't call him pin-ups, Allie, because he wasn't wearing a bathing suit. It was definitely not pin-ups.

But I did have posters, like a man would have, on his wall. Did you kiss it at night? I did have, no, I did not, but I did, mostly my walls were covered with Magic Johnson stuff, Magic Johnson jerseys, Magic Johnson, I think I went as him for Halloween too, maybe three years, didn't go full face. Oh, wow. Just went. You just wore a jersey? Just wore the jersey. Oh, no.

Just wore the jersey and I had a basketball. No afro? Didn't fully commit, no, no. You didn't even walk on stilts? No, none of those things. But, you know, so how many times have you heard me? Probably the only person I've heard you talk about on more than one occasion that you like. But over the years, how many times have I had a close call?

Like, oh, I heard that I was somewhere. Oh, like you went to an event that you were at. Yeah. There was a time I ran out of the locker room in a towel because I was told he was downstairs at this gym I was at. Because I was so excited and missed him again. Kept missing Magic Johnson. Kept missing him. And I wanted to be an organic.

I didn't want to be one of those things where I said, Vanessa, book Magic Johnson to come on the show. Because that would have felt really. You wanted it to happen organically. That makes sense. So on Saturdays, I'm at a movie theater. Just finished watching, and by watching, I mean sleeping, during the Acme vs. Roadrunner movie because I've run out of things to do with my kids.

And we're leaving the theater. And if you're wondering, Omar, why I look so special needs, it's because I was asleep, deep sleep, and nothing against the movie. I'm sure it was great, but I was in a reclining seat, and I fully fell asleep. Those reclining seats, they are great, but it is hard to stay awake,

even during a really good, exciting movie. So you're looking at a guy who was in a deep sleep about five minutes before that picture was taken, and you can tell. And I have my stupid hooded sweatshirt hanging over my head like an idiot, and I didn't realize what was going to happen. But as I leave the movie theater, I get in the elevator with my family, and I hit the button. And as the doors start to close, I see through the closing doors, not waiting for the elevator, but kind of walking through the lobby, a figure that for like a split second, I go, I think that's Magic Johnson. But I wasn't sure, but I go, I'm not going to miss this chance again. So I throw my hand out there, stop the doors from closing, and just run up. And I don't usually, you know me, I don't approach celebrities.

Wow, you ran right up. I ran right up to him, and I'm only seeing him from behind. So I said, this is either going to be an incredibly embarrassing moment for me, or it's going to be, it was literally a tenth of a second. You couldn't do the magic, something just to make him turn around? I just, and I left my family in the elevator. I didn't even tell them what I was doing. I didn't say anything.

I just ran out of the elevator, left my family in the elevator, ran up, see him from behind, tap his shoulder. Tap his shoulder. You touched him? Touched him. And I said, Omar, it's okay now. They're okay. I know what you're thinking.

It's okay. And he turns around, and I see him, and it was like I'd never been more starstruck, horny. So you're the guy from my pinups. He gets you at night. I said, Magic, I'm sorry to bug you. And he's got that big Infectious smile He's one of these guys

That always seems like He's in a good mood Always Wouldn't you be? Turns around Yeah He's got that big smile And I say

I'm so sorry to bug you Because now I realize Now it's hit me I'm not a fifth grade boy now Now I realize I'm a grown ass man Tapping him on the shoulder But acting like a child

Still as tall as you probably were In fifth grade Same height But he's very tall And I say Was he going to Do you think he was going to the same movie as you or anything, or this was at a mall? I think he was going, no, it was at a movie theater, but I think he was going up to validate,

you had to like put your parking in to prepay the parking. You always got to get validation, even if you're Magic Johnson. So I say, I'm sorry to bug you. I just, you were, you were my boyhood idol or some, some stupid thing like that. I said that I didn't think it through and I shut up because I, for 20 years, I wanted to meet this guy, you know, 30 years. I said, yeah, but in the moment you can't think straight. And he goes, oh, he goes, I was?

I go, yeah. I go, I moved to L.A., you know, whatever, 20 years ago. Always thought one day I'd run into you, and here we are. And he's like, here we are. And I had nothing. And you're like, I always dreaded that this day would come, that I would meet Kevin Kline. And at that time, luckily, my family, you know, came after me out of the elevator. And then he sees my kid.

He ditched your family? Yeah, I ditched him in the elevator. Oh, yeah, I ditched him. They brought that up later. So they went all the way down and had to go all the way back to get you. Yeah, had to come back up to me, yeah. And then, luckily, thank God, because they found me. And my kid is there.

She's got a cast on her arm because she broke her wrist. And Magic, of course, gets real. Wait, was your wife with you, or they were alone in the elevator? No, my wife was there, too. I didn't leave just my kids in the elevator. And they come up to me now, and Magic lights up even bigger because now there's kids there. And he says to my daughter, he goes, oh, how'd you break your arm? And she actually broke it playing basketball.

So my wife's like, oh, she broke it playing basketball. He's like, oh, man. He's like, you got to stick with it. You got to get on the sparks, the whole thing. And she goes, who's this? This is what Bruiser says to me. And I said, this is daddy's favorite basketball player of all time, Magic Johnson. And she looks at him and she looks at me and she goes, no, it's not.

What? And I said, yes, Sienna, this is Magic Johnson. And I've shown her. I've got Magic Johnson cards. She goes, no, it's not. Magic Johnson is dead. What the hell? This is what she says.

No, no, no. He almost died. She says to me and to him, it's not Magic Johnson. Magic Johnson's dead. And what was his reaction? One of the greatest reactions ever. He laughs and smiles. And he goes, I'm not.

Let's take a picture, all of us, to prove it. Oh, what a good line. Which is a great line. And so they all get in. We take the picture. I didn't realize how ridiculously stupid I looked in this picture because I was half asleep, but also I was, you know. Were you high? I think I took a gummy before the movie.

Okay, because you kind of had a glazed look on your eye. And then I keep saying, Sienna won't let it go. So now we're kind of taking the picture. You're dead, I tell you, you're dead. And she keeps going, she keeps saying he's dead because she couldn't fathom how a guy that was an adult when I was a kid, and now that I'm an adult, she couldn't figure that out, the math. But also, I think Magic looks, to be honest, the guy's 67 now.

He looks almost the exact same as he does in every, I mean, not all the cards, but a lot of the cards I have of him playing basketball, he looks kind of the same. He's a similar looking guy. Is this a situation where you had to find a bypass, a person to take the picture for you? So, so then there was... Because that can be awkward. Yeah, so he actually said, I'll give Magic credit, he did the whole thing.

By the way, his wife, Cookie, was there, too, with him. And he said, she didn't take the picture, though, but some other guy was kind of hovering. You could tell wanting to get in there, too. That kind of opens the floodgates when one person goes in the flood. Yeah, and I felt bad doing that. But he took the picture. Couldn't have been nicer. And then we pull out of the parking garage.

He ended up pulling out after us. And then he drove next to our car and did the roll the window down thing. And he just gave the family another wave. And I almost crashed my car into the car in front of me. But it was, minus the fact that I looked ridiculous. And then I couldn't wait to see the pictures. And then I realized in every picture, my wife and kids go, why do you look like that? Yeah, you should just AI a different face on you.

And now I finally get the picture with the only person I've ever wanted to take a picture with in my entire life. And I could not look dumber or more weird. Yeah, you need to do something about the way you look in photos. It's just not working out. I don't know if there's, like, a smile coach or someone you can, like, talk to. We need, like, an influencer who can tell you exactly what to do or not do in order to take a normal photo. Because it's not even that you're smiling. It's just to look normal.

I just want to look normal. You just got to relax your face. You and Allie both get mad at me when I take photos of you guys. And you're like, ugh, not this one. I don't look good. But it's like, that's just what you look like. You just got to relax your face. But I said to myself, and I'm standing there with Magic Johnson.

I said, don't screw. I literally gave myself the pep talk. Don't screw this up, man. This is the only one you cared about. And then I get the pictures back. And there's about four of them. And they're all. It starts bad.

And I go, well, the next one will be better. Worse, worse, even worse. Did you tell him that it was my uncle? And I said, I know your niece, Allie Johnson. That was a lie that I used to tell him. And so anyway, it was, everything was great up until the fact that my kid looked at him and said, you're dead. It was great up until the moment where you talked to him and took a picture of him. I should have just watched him walk through the elevator.

I should have just let the elevator close. Let him get his parking validated and move on with his life. So when they say never meet your heroes, I stand by that statement. You never should. High Voltage Food Review next on KROQ. KROQ, Klein Alley Show. We spend most of our day talking about food or thinking about food or eating food. And Alley's pregnant now, so she gets to eat everything.

And she really wanted to eat this cheesy Cinnabon, which is the cheesy bun, Alley. It's the sweet and savory Cinnabon, featured limited-time Cheez-It pop-up happening at the Westfield Topanga in Los Angeles. You were excited about it. Yeah, we wanted to get our hands on this, yeah, because they have a few different items. I think one of them is a Cheez-It-flavored corn dog, which sounded amazing. I want that. Yeah, I want it.

And there was a cheese steak, a Philly cheese steak, I think, that has Cheez Whiz on it. And then there's this one, which is this. It's like a cinnamon roll, but the icing on top is Cheez-It flavor. Whoa, look at this. I'm going to show the YouTube viewers right now that are watching along. This is what, wow, it is intense. The smell, powerful smell. Maybe even less cheesy, more cinnamony, but you see the Cheez-Its all over it.

This thing looks, anyway, Allie was really excited to try it. It looks. It's a lot. I remember at the beginning of your pregnancy, you were going to do the, quote, healthy pregnancy. Is that just thrown out the window now? No, I'm healthy. No, definitely you're not.

We heard about your weekend alone. And then you were all excited about this thing. This was like, get it for me, I'm pregnant. I'm healthy and unhealthy. I'm all-encompassing. We were trying to get them to bring it to us in the studio, and they wanted us to go and pick it up at the food court. And then Allie's like, tell them I'm pregnant.

Yeah, because I'm eating vegetables, guys. Yeah, right. Yeah, they're fried, though. It was an artichoke. It was delicious. Deep-fried artichoke. We have some medical professionals on the phone now. They're going to either give you the seal of approval to put on the shot collar and try this,

or are going to say it's probably a bad idea for someone who's pregnant. I've been trying to do some research on my own, and there are a couple of chat forums on what to expect. Pregnant people just talk about things that have happened to them that they're worried about, and there is a woman who accidentally grabbed an electric fence while she was 35 weeks pregnant. How did that work out for her? She said it turned out totally fine. Great.

This is way less voltage than that. Way less. Some of the people saying, without thinking, I tested my dog's shock collar on my hand. It was level 15 for probably 10 seconds, and now I'm freaked out about the baby. But people are saying that it's generally okay if it's a one and done. It's the repeated shocking that I'm worried about. Hey, Michael, you're a doctor? Yeah.

What is your official title? I am a board-certified orthopedic surgeon. Okay, great. So you've gone to medical school and everything? Yep. What is your professional medical opinion about whether or not Allie should be able to wear the shock collar and try this Cinnabon Cheez-It thing? Professionally, probably not a good idea, but for the sake of comedy, probably worth it. And which one's more important?

Definitely comedy. Okay, great. So there's a doctor. How do I know this guy's an orthopedic surgeon? You can't. He sounds smart. Who would make that up? No one's going to be that.

You're just saying he sounds smart because he's a board certified. He said board certified orthopedic surgeon. No one's going to be a fake doctor. No one can say that. They can't. They can't. No one's making that up. Where'd you go to medical school, Michael?

In St. Louis. Great. See, he can't even name the school. He's just saying the city. St. Louis. Good schools there. Washington University. What's the last operation you did?

He's done a bunch of them, I bet. I did my residency at Cedars-Sinai. Oh, yeah, whatever. Heard of that one? First one you mentioned. That's what everyone thinks of, Cedars-Sinai. Oh, stop it. I believe him.

He's a doctor. Tony, are you a doctor? Hello? Good morning. Yeah, good morning, party people. Well, I'm calling to suggest that Klein be the one to wear the shock collar. I mean, Allie's pregnant. It's just not a good idea.

Be a man, Klein. Step up. You wear it. Oh, Allie does a review, but you wear the collar. Well, hold on. Yeah, that's a great idea. Let's do it. What's the benefit to that at all?

Allie gets to try it and gets all the glory, and I just get shocked when she says the words. These are my wishes. What does that mean, these are my wishes? Tony, are you even a... I'm a board-certified goofball. Okay, that was a board-certified goofball. Studied in St. Louis, this guy. Not even real.

Well, we need four out of five doctors to sign off on this. That's all we need. I don't think we need any to sign off on this arrangement where I eat it and you get shocked. You don't even want to eat it. I do. How is that a benefit for the listeners? You're taking one for the team, the team being me and my unborn child, and he wants you to do it. He doesn't want anything.

Yeah, he does. Omar, put the microphone down to my baby's tummy. Here we go. Oh, boy. Okay, this is the one time I'm okay with it, because he will say he wants you to wear the shot collar. Oh, God. I can't believe it. Now you want us to talk to your baby, Allie?

Yeah, because now he has something to say. I know he does. Wear it, you little bitch. Oh, thank God. I'm a boy. Take that, Gloria Steinem. Yeah, we heard that last week. We've done this before.

Hey, Mom. What's it feel like to finally have a penis inside of you? Okay, we're talking about the high-voltage food review. Do you want me to be the person to wear the shock collar so your mommy can try this cheese at Cinnabon thing, kid? That's right. Hey, Mom, I know you don't find this bit funny, but now that we've learned that I'm not a girl, it is funny. We've heard all that before. Do it, do it.

All right, so fine. When we get back, we can't do it. We've got to take a break now. We're behind. Fine, that's fine. I'll do it. I don't care. Yay!

God, I hate that thing. No one else here wants to try it? I don't even get to eat anything. It's going to be great. This sucks. And I get to know what the buzzwords are. No, no, no, you don't. No, Ali doesn't get to know the buzzwords.

Cheesy, cheesy, cheesy, cheesy, and cheesy. No, I'm not going to say any of those things when I try it. So Ali will be trying it, reviewing it. If she says a buzzword, I get shocked. Great. If you're not watching on YouTube. Why did I? This sucks.

We're going to do split screen. We'll come back. We'll do the ADD news, and we'll do that next hour on the show. Plus, we have tickets for you to go to Not Scary Farm. Those will be coming up in a moment here on KROQ. This morning, I have Altage Food Review for a buzzy food item. And I guess that means I'll be wearing the shock collar. Text line seems to agree.

Allie will try the food. I'll wear the shock collar. Everybody wins except me, I guess, in this particular case. Also, in less than five minutes, we get you into Not Scary Farm. That's right. All them scary. I was looking at some of the stuff they've got going on there. You know, I think every year, everyone ups their games around Halloween.

But it appears to be scarier than ever before. So if you're not easily scared, oh, just wait until you get your four-pack of tickets starting at 9 and every hour thereafter for Not Scary Farm. Right now, though, we have your news to get to. Here we go. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. Well, it seems that Rob Reiner is able to win awards even after his death. Here or not, the guy knew how to make good movies and entertain the public. And this was the weekend for the Creative Arts Emmys. This is where they hand out a bunch of other Emmys on the side before they do the real Emmy Awards.

The real Emmys are happening next weekend, and they are hosted by Mariska Hargitay, which is an interesting choice. But this weekend, Rob Reiner won a posthumous Emmy for his role in The Bear. He won Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy, and he won over Michael J. Fox, who was one of the other nominees. One of the other winners from the weekend was Kimmel. He won for Best Game Show Host for Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, which I forget he also hosts that. Bad Bunny, the halftime show, won for Best Choreography. And Outstanding Casting in a Reality Show went to Love on the Spectrum, which seems like one of the easier shows to cast.

Right. You're on the spectrum? Yep. You're single? Yep. Great. Get in here. Right, exactly.

How can you win an award for Best Casting for that one? It kind of writes itself, right? Right. And that's been Jake's storyline for the last six months on the show as well. Jake will be the big star of Love on the Spectrum. You know, actually, it is good that they won an award for not casting Jake in that show. I also have never casted Jake. Now they're on a date.

Sexy sex. Okay. Thanks so much, Jake. That'd be a great line for that show. That would be great, yeah. Grand Theft Auto still has not come out yet. Never will. But it is already causing relationships to end or at least have large arguments about whether or not the boyfriends should be allowed to play it.

Because apparently there's a storyline in the new Grand Theft Auto where you can choose to have an affair with, I think her name's Lucia. She's very hot. She's very realistic looking. And in the storyline, you can choose to have an affair with her when you get out of prison. And apparently some girlfriends and fiancés and wives are upset about this. and they are now vowing to ban their partners from playing the game. Oh, that's ridiculous. Saying that if this happens in the game, it might inspire them to actually cheat,

just like committing crimes in Grand Theft Auto does inspire people to commit real crimes. So you're okay with someone hijacking a helicopter and bashing someone's stranger's car with a baseball bat in the game? You can beat up this pregnant woman and take her purse. Right, that's fine. But don't have sex with Lucia. How dare you have an affair with Lucia? I mean, it's a character.

It's not even you. I know they're getting more realistic, and I understand that people are saying, well, maybe if they get so into the game, then they'll bring this into real life. I think people are going to be more annoyed with football back this week, and then this game coming out. There's going to be a lot of people that are just not talking to relatives and friends for a while. Yeah, exactly. I mean, it really is diabolical that they do all this around the holidays. But it is kind of – they're doing it to us as a favor if we hate our families or just want to get out of conversation. It's great to take a break.

And then, Klein, there is a silver lining to the cockroach problem in your house. Why don't you not think of it as a roach infestation and instead think of it as an infestation of soldiers? A few workers of the future include cockroaches. Searchers in Australia are developing paraborgs, giant cockroaches equipped with microchips, cameras, and medical injectors. These remote-controlled insects could navigate tight spaces, locate trapped earthquake survivors, and even deliver emergency treatments. They've been working on this for a while now, but they claim that these roaches are now about five to ten years away from being deployed. And as you know, some of you might not, roaches are some of the most trainable insects. And people will train them in prison to bring things back and forth to one another.

Cigarettes, notes, drugs. Yeah, so if you can put these little cameras on them and have them go into, you know, like they said, earthquake rubble to try and locate people. And then they come back out and they say, hey, by the way, Joe's trapped in there. You got to get him out. Pretty incredible. So you think about that before you start killing all the roaches in your house. Train those rats? I mean, train those roaches, man.

I should train the roaches in my house. They don't seem very trainable because they're always on their back with their legs kicking in the air. They flipped over. It's because you're trying to kill them. Stop that. Think about how cool Ant-Man is and how not cool he would be if he was like, Ew, get away from me, Ant. Like the roach man.

Yeah, like he embraced them and they're all working for him as an army. I would love to send a note on one of the roaches up to my wife and say, We're still here. Just because it would be so funny. We're good, I promise. Here's a cigarette. All right, we get into a brand new hour of the show in moments. The very first thing we do is give you four tickets to Not Scary Farm.

If you want them, call. Claim them now. 800-520-1067. Those are yours after this, hon. This is the world famous K-Rock. Good morning. Welcome to your K-Rock on a Tuesday. It feels a bit like a weird Monday.

Apparently hot, humid. That's going to stick around. And now that everything's nice and wet. Keep it wet. You should be super uncomfortable for the next few days, so let's go ahead and make it all worth your while by giving you stuff. Allie from Anaheim, good morning. Oh, my God.

Hello. Hi. Hi. Save that yelling. You're going to need it when you have the S scared out of you at Not Scary Farm because you are going with three friends. You got yourself the first four pack of tickets of the day. Congratulations.

Thank you, guys. Love you. Love you, too, and enjoy your Halloween fun and festivities. Opening night. Oh, not only that. Excuse me. I buried the lead here. I'm not even good at my job.

Hold on. Let me try this again. Hey, Allie, I didn't realize this because there was a lot of words for me to read. You will be going to opening night of Not Scary Farm. Yay. Thank you so much. That means you will get to experience the scares before anyone else. The first scares.

And it's always important when you go with a group to have one person that is an over-screamer. Always. Because it just makes the whole experience more fun. This fall, Not Scary Farm, escape horrifying mazes, traverse wicked scare zones, and come face-to-face with the terrifying creatures lurking in the fog. And if you've watched our show on YouTube, you know what terrifying creatures look like. Select nights, September 17th through October 31st. Tickets every hour, all day long, straight up through 6 p.m. on KROQ.

Golly, would you like to hear a critique, a criticism, or a compliment? Hmm. Let's go with critique. I love notes. All right. Give me some notes. Here's a critique, and then I will play you the compliment, because you're going to get both anyway.

This is someone that was not thrilled about your gender reveal. Oh, yeah. Sure. A critique. It can always be better. A critique as to how we could have slash done this better, and this is what they had to say. Do more better.

All right, so I just heard you guys talking about the gender reveal by bong, and I watched it on Instagram yesterday. That was not a gender reveal by bong. That was a man taking a really big bong hit and then Allie spraying something. Right. Like, it would have been way cooler if you guys could have figured out a way to make the bong smoke, the bong-a-gong, sorry. I have a mouthful of pancakes.

So that's our listeners right there. She called to critique the way we did a gender reveal via bong while she was eating pancakes. She's critiquing us, and she's leaving a message with a mouthful of pancakes. I have a mouthful of pancakes. Oh, sorry. I'm eating breakfast and listening to you guys. But, yeah, you should have definitely figured out a way to make the bong a color. Anyways, love you.

Bye. Don't you think we tried? We tried. We're not good at science. We did try to do that. And also, there was a limit to what the Miles from Dirty, Slightly Stupid was going to actually put into his lungs before he went up on stage to perform because he had to actually sing for the next hour. Yeah, because our original idea was to have the smoke colored, you know, blue or pink. And then when that wasn't possible, we were like, well, maybe we could just inhale the smoke from the canister.

But that apparently is toxic to ingest, and he didn't really want to ingest that, which makes sense. So this was our plan C. Here's a compliment for a change on the GOAT line as well. Hey, what's up, guys? Bay Area listener here, long-time listener. Just wanted to call in to say I've been listening to radio a long time since Howard Stern, Art Bell, and you guys, man, you guys are the new thing on the radio,

and I just wanted to call in to say thank you for everything you do. I kind of hope you don't play this one on the air, honestly, but whatever. Yeah, thanks for everything you do. you guys. I'm excited to watch where you guys are headed. It's been a lot of fun watching you guys. Keep it up and love the show. Love you guys. Take care.

So there you go. Some critiques, some compliments on the goat line. We'll see how you feel after this hour of live radio on KROQ. KROQ Line Alley Show. I'm holding my hand right now, the shot collar, which will go on my neck in moments and then you can watch along on YouTube. Alley's going to try the new viral Cheez-It by chain

Cinnabon Cheez-It, Cheesy Bun I guess. You call it something different every time. Because I can't quite figure out what it is. It's a monstrosity. Allie's going to get the cheese-ed bun. It's a cinnamon roll with cheese-ed on top. Yeah, it's available limited time only at Topanga Westfield Mall. Anyway, it looks, I don't know, heavy.

It's pretty heavy. I've been waiting, and I've been smelling it all morning. So Allie's going to taste it. We're going to maybe warm it up in the microwave so you kind of get a more authentic flavor. And then I'll wear the shock collar, and you give us the buzzwords. And if Allie says any of the words during the review, normally she'd get shocked a bit because she's pregnant. I'm going to get shocked. Pregnant.

I don't understand why, but that's what's going to happen. I don't think we need to understand why. So get those buzzwords in. I'll take a look at them. We'll decide what they are. As stupid as everything we just said sounded, I have an even dumber sentence to drop upon you right now, Allie, and that is that I am currently feuding with a puppy yoga studio.

The most L.A. sentence ever. And if you want a reason to judge me, I need to get... Oh, I don't need more. I need to get a real opinion from you more than Omar, but I'll take all opinions over the week. This is, what do you mean by puppy yoga? Is this, you're doing yoga with puppies or you're doing? The puppies do yoga.

The puppies do yoga. No, no, here's the situation. It was, we had no plans for this Labor Day weekend. When you have young kids, you hit the movies, boom. You do the Dave and Buster's, boom. You start running out of stuff. Then it's a rainy day. As you know, most of Saturday was a wash.

Sunday, I can't keep track of the days. And my wife goes, I found a place that does puppy yoga. And I said, that sounds like a great thing for you to go do with the girls. And I'll sit here and masturbate. That's what I called her. Is that what you told her? That's not what I said out loud. That's my yoga.

It was implied, I think. And she goes, I think it'd be fun for us all to go. And I said, not for me. I mean, it'd be fun to watch you do it. So I don't know. I don't do yoga. I do like dogs. Puppy breath.

One of the best smells ever. So she sends me the link. Is it like cute puppies or is it like those like sickly adoptable puppies? They're all adoptable. That's the part about it that I liked is that they were trying, even though they were exploiting them for yoga, the dogs, I think eventually the deal is you connect with the dogs and then maybe you take one home. And you don't take your own dog. You don't bring your own dog, which I also was confused about. No dogs allowed.

It says that on the website. No dogs allowed at puppy yoga. Only our puppies. Right. So I buy the tickets. How much are the tickets? Not cheap. I want to point that out.

I was kind of, to be honest, surprised and not thrilled when I saw the total for four tickets to puppy yoga. I mean, any price is too much, in my opinion, for this, but what did you pay? It was $65 a ticket. Whoa! For an hour? An hour. And do you get anything, like munches or bunches or whatever? Do they have some kind of clever... You get to kill an hour, which is all we were trying to do was kill hours.

So we show up to puppy yoga. I book it on the website. It says 3.15. We show up at 3.10. Walk in the door. early, and I see that they're wrapping up a class, which is great. That means they're about to start our class, and look at

all the other sad dads that got dragged to puppy yoga. They're leaving, and they say, what are you guys doing here? That was our last class of the day. I said, that's impossible. I just booked on your website. 3.15. I'm right here. It's 3.10. I got five... I showed up to this. I'm five minutes early.

I put on different pants for this, okay? I'm doing puppy yoga. And they said, I don't know. That's weird. We don't have a 3.15 today. And then they go, maybe you booked at a different location. Apparently, this is a nationwide epidemic. They have puppy yoga not just in LA. They got it in New York and they got it in other places as well.

Because goat yoga was a big thing. And then they must have expanded it to all animals. They have other puppy yoga options. I said, well, I have been known to get the locations wrong before. I checked. Didn't get it wrong. I'm at Puppy Yoga Burbank where I'm supposed to be. I'm very excited about this.

And I said, aha. Puppy Yoga, the Burbank chapter. And the woman looks at my phone and she goes, yeah, no, you are? okay you did book here yeah it does say 3 15 she goes yeah you booked it for saturday and today is sunday so you booked the day before no no i said that's impossible i said i just i came up this stupid idea came together in the last two hours so there's no way i didn't book this yesterday i booked this today right you wouldn't have been able to how would i even be able to book a previous day she goes that's weird that must be a website glitch or something anyway uh you you guys are

more than welcome to pet the dogs and then you got to get out of here because we're not doing any more classes, and then take it up with the website. Take it up with the website? So I sent them an email, and I said, hey, I showed up for my puppy yoga class. There was, the puppies were done doing yoga for the day. I can't believe I had to write this goddamn email.

I'd like the money back. And I get this response from Puppy Yoga Club. Hi, we're sorry for the confusion and inconvenience. After reviewing the reservation, it appears the booking was made for a session that had already taken place. Unfortunately, we're unable to issue a refund for the past session.

However, we'd be happy to provide vouchers for the full value of the four tickets so you can rebook for another date that works for you. Please let us know how you'd like us to issue the vouchers. And I said, I wrote back, I said, I don't understand. I booked a thing that had already happened supposedly. Yeah, but it hadn't because you hadn't started. You hadn't gone to the class yet. It makes no sense. What they're saying makes no sense.

So now I realize I'm in a back and forth feuding. Which is the opposite of a yoga class. Right. I'm very not namaste right now, Allie. Yeah, yeah. I'm very angry. And so then I started wondering, my wife goes, don't you think this is some sort of like the money's going to like for the dogs?

Like these are rescue dogs. Hell no. So then I start feeling bad. This is a for-profit operation, I'm sure. You think so? Yes, dude. So I write back. I booked for three.

They probably whip those puppies when they're done. You're not doing Downward Dog? Yeah. I said, I booked for 315 in Burbank, paid for four people. When I arrived, they said the 315 class doesn't happen. I think this would be the exact example of a refundable situation. And now I'm in a stalemate with the puppy yoga people. By stalemate, you mean they're ghosting you?

Yeah, they haven't responded again. This is the exact reason why a refund should be issued. Yeah, right. No, I'm actually, for once, I agree with you. That is ridiculous. They should issue you a full refund. You know what you can do now is call your credit card company. I don't want to be that guy.

I don't want to be that guy. Yes, the credit card company is where you go to complain about things. The last time I called the credit card was to complain about all the love tokens I was being charged for. And they definitely know now that I'm a weirdo. And I don't want them to then add this to my file. And then he calls back three months later with an issue with puppy yoga. I'm done with that. I mean, you don't want that on your record.

I don't want that on record. The guy had love tokens he accidentally purchased for a sex robot. You know what you should do is take the vouchers and then you should try and sell them online. That's not going to work. I'll go. I'll buy them from you. You want to go? I'll go for a fraction of the price.

No. You're such a bitch. When we get back. Ten bucks a ticket. I'll go. High Voltage Food Review will be after this quick break on KROQ. High Voltage Review. Not excited about this one, for sure.

I am. Because usually the benefit of the High Voltage Review for the person that has to get shocked wearing the shock collar is they at least get to try the viral food item before anyone else. This is buzz-worthy food. And when we found out that they were going to have a pop-up Cheez-It little situation going on at the Westfield Topanga in Los Angeles...

A pop-up Cheez-It situation. I don't know. I don't really want to wear this. This thing is... By the way, this is at the... I've got the shock collar on my neck right now, and it is at the absolute fattest it could be. The client needs a seatbelt extender for the shock collar. It is choking me right now.

Because your neck has gotten so massive. The prongs are digging in deep on the side, so I'm going to get shocked, of course, if you say words, buzzwords. You guys have to give us the buzzwords. If Allie, during her one-minute review of this thing, says these buzzwords, every time she says a word, I will get shocked. Usually, the person reviewing it gets shocked. That makes sense. This doesn't make sense, but we're doing it anyway because Allie's pregnant, and she's afraid that this could be bad for her unborn baby. Yeah, I don't think I should get electroshocked while pregnant.

Probably not a great idea, but a great idea for you. And people said this is the best of both worlds because they love seeing you get shocked and they love seeing me eat. Someone pointed out that Allie's so concerned about her unborn baby, but not too concerned to not eat an entire Cheez-It Cinnabon, which is interesting. That has all the nutrients that he needs. Right, got it. Go for it. So, Vanessa, I'm going to hand you the shock. I'm wearing the collar.

Let me do it. No, Jake, you can't be trusted with this. Klein said he doesn't want Jake to do it. Just like Jake's jokes, the timing will be off. That's great, though. Send it to Vanessa. Vanessa's the only one who will do it honestly. And Vanessa also, I know it'll pain her as much as it pains me because she feels bad.

Yeah, but you want Vanessa to do it because you think she's going to be too nice. Inflicting pain. Vanessa, don't be too nice. You need to be accurate. Crank it up, Vanessa. Vanessa, it's fine. Vanessa, don't hit it. Crank it up.

Crank it up. Please do not hit the button. Crank it up. Do not hit the button. Do not crank it up. Stop cranking it up. Let me see where it's at. Stop cranking it up.

No, do not give it to Allie. That's not what it is. Do not give it to Allie. Do not give it to Allie. Oh, my God. Allie. You turned this down. Allie, put it away.

You are such a puss. Put it away. Put it away. Look at him smiling. Put it away. You did. You turned it down, and it was on so low. Put it away.

I'm turning this up. Put it away. Do not turn it up. What number is it at? What number is it at, Vanessa? Tell me the number. Tell me the number. That's such a crazy number.

Vanessa, lower the number. Lower the number. The number. Don't lower it. Allie's not going to be happy. This is so hard for me. I don't know who to listen to. Give it to Jay.

He'll turn it up. Vanessa, do not give it to Jay. Can I turn it down two dials? No, it seems crazy. Turn it down ten dials. One, one, okay. She just hit the button so many times. Ah!

Ah! How you turned it? You hit the thing! You hit the thing! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! How do I lower it? Oh, my gosh!

No, leave it there. Leave it there. Do not leave it there. Vanessa, what did you just hit? I'm sorry. I thought that's how I lowered it. No, that's the shock. Oh, that was the double shock button.

Ah, the double shock. Stop it! Ah, damn it. I hate this so much. All right, let's come up with the words. Cheesy. You need to leave the studio for this part. All right.

Vanessa, don't hit any more buttons. Don't worry about it. Just don't hit any more buttons. I don't get any more buttons. Don't hit my buttons. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Oh, man.

I don't... Johnny, no. No. Johnny. Johnny, Johnny. I'm showing her how to actually work it. Okay, thank you. You let a child use it.

I just hit the... Whatever button she hit, that one was... It made sense, but now I see it and I... I don't want to test it again. The button that you thought was lower it was the one with the double lightning bolts on it? I know. She had a double lightning bolt one. I don't think we've ever hit that one before.

Alright, let's choose these words. I'm so sorry, Klein. That was not on purpose. Oh, yeah, right. No, I promise. I wasn't thinking. Here's the words that people are sending us. Klein is a bitch. That's not a word we can use. Okay, sweet came through a lot.

So if Ali says sweet during her review, I get buzzed. Gooey came through from quite a few people. So write down gooey. That's a good one. Cheesy. Yep. Or cheese.

Yep. So which one? Cheesy or cheesy? Either. Fine. Either. Oh, man. Salty from 818.

And we'll go with our final buzzword is warm or melty. Warm. Hold on. These are better words. Crunchy is coming through as well. Let's say crunchy. Yeah, crunchy is good. How about sticky?

But it's got crunchy stuff all over it. She's definitely going to say crunchy. Yeah, that's why we're going to use it. Okay, sticky? So it's crunchy. Sticky? She's going to say sticky. No, we're going with gooey, crunchy, cheesy.

I'll have cheesy. Sweet. Sweet. Salt. Salty. Those are all the words to describe this. I'm literally reading the description of the item that we're about to try, and it literally says in the description.

Yeah. A warm gooey cinnamon roll. Swirled cream cheese frosting seasoned with cheese and extra cheesy flavor. topped with shortbread crumble. I stopped stalling, dude. Come on. Let's go. Oh, man.

I kind of feel bad. I feel like my position... Give it another test, Vanessa. Do not... No, I won't. Ali's back in. I choose... Ali's back in.

Ali's back in. I feel bad. Hi, Voltage Review! Hey, remember who gave you M&Ms when you were having your woman issues? Oh, my God. Remember that. Okay, Ali, whenever you're ready.

Give him a shock, Vanessa. No, do not... No, I won't do it again. I don't know. I truly feel bad. All right, Allie's going to try this now. Oh, this has gotten so melty already. The clock.

Okay. Picking it up. All right, I can already see. No, don't see. Just try. All right, bye. Ow. Oh, blah.

Allison. Big pig. Well, right away, you taste really sweet. Stop! Stop! Not that way. She knows the words. I know it.

No, I can taste the cinnamon for sure. You know, I'm not getting so much cheese right away. but let me oh um let me take another bite on this side joey it's gooey it's um um and then it's not like you know it's definitely got the consistency of like a cinnabon or then you got the crunch of the cheese kind of at the end there oh did i mention it's gooey

You can't say the word twice 10 seconds Alright, I'm just going to get some of this cheese in my mouth Oh my god I think it could be cheesier I was honestly a little disappointed in that Time's up That was scary

Do you want some? No, is it actually good? It tastes like a cinnamon bun You heard all the words out there? Yeah, you did You came in saying the words before you even tried it What do you mean? You said sticky right off the bat

Yeah, yeah, come on. What, did you read the text line? A stick was one of the words? No. There's not even one here. Oh, Ali. You look like such a mess. Oh, you do too.

Oh, great. Thank you. All right, I'll come to the right place. We've done our job yet again. All right, well, thank you, Cheez-Its. This was, looked great. Available limited time only at the... Westfield.

Westfield, Topanga, Los Angeles. Cheez-Its pop-up. The Cheezy Bun. Ali gives it two very gooey thumbs up. K-Rock, we are Klein Alley Show. Thank you, 310. Klein's neck is all swollen now. Oh, wait a minute.

It's always looked like that. Okay, great. Thank you for the... No, no, it didn't always. Thanks for the kind words and apologies for the people that claim they spilled coffee and shot coffee out their nose. It's always fun. Our pain brings you such pleasure on a daily basis.

Do you want to try it while Jake gets shocked? We could just keep this train rolling. No, that's okay. But, Jake, you can eat it, though, if you want. We got extra ones. I want the corndog. Oh, no. Yeah, the corndog.

I don't think we have that. We did complete our Funner Summer Challenges this weekend. Jake tried a drug. What drug did you try? I know you were petting your dog and getting all weird on Instagram. Yeah, it's cool. Mescaline. For the first time ever?

Yeah, it's a super hard drug to find, actually. And where did you even track down mescaline? I tracked it down from a cactus guy. It comes from the peyote cactus. It's the drug that Aldous Huxley wrote the book, Doors of Perception. Did you already have a cactus guy? I had a certain cactus guy. I found a new cactus guy that makes his own mescaline.

You had multiple. Is this the thing that you have to drink in like a tea or whatever, and then once it's going to take effect, you have to throw up or you vomit? No, you're thinking about ayahuasca. That's DMT. What is it supposed to make you feel like? Is it similar to acid or what? Yeah, it's similar to acid or mushroom trip.

It's supposed to be more manageable, and it definitely was. I want to go back to something you said a moment ago. You had a different cactus guy. And you said, I've got to get rid of this cactus guy. I need a new one. And you found a new, so you found a secondary cactus guy. Yeah, I got a secondary cactus guy. Well, actually, this is my third cactus cacti.

Is it? How many are there? I feel like there's got to be just the three. How many? I have no cactus guys. I've never had a cactus guy. Wait, so, and the cactus guy usually would get you cactuses for what, display purposes? He does both, yeah.

Oh, and then... He does display cactuses and special cactuses? Yeah. And you say, I need mescaline, and he said, I'm your guy. Yeah, he says, yeah, I grow the cactus, and then I actually make the mescaline from the cactus. Oh, okay, so he makes it himself at home. Yes, I have farm-to-table mescaline. And how is it presented to you, in what way?

It's in a powder, and you mix it in a juice or something, and you drink it. And what is mescaline supposed to make you do? It is like a light mushroom or acid trip. Again, it's the drug that Aldous Huxley wrote, Doors of Perception. I heard the boring story the first time you told that reel. Which is where the Doors get their name, the band. Right. It's like a big...

Boring. Fortunately, we're sober for this. I need mescaline to get through the story. I need a cactus guy to poke my eyes out. So you took the mescaline. Uh-huh. And then you... Did you do it by yourself?

I did it by myself. And you were just petting your dog? For that little bit of the video, yeah. Do you think that the dog is like, oh, my God, he's taking something. He's going to be petting me so hard for like four hours. She likes it. I doubt it.

So what was your big plan when you got the mescaline? because this was your fun or summer challenge. My plan was to plan for a heavy trip because I've never done it before. I didn't know how hard it was going to hit me. But it was pretty mild. So I was able to get through it and manage it really easy

and then go to the Guns N' Roses show that night. Oh, so you were on mescaline when you went to that show? A little bit, yeah. But for the most part, it was, like I said, very mild. That's kind of boring. The only thing that was more mild was your lame magic pills that you fell out of the chair with.

Those things were super weak. Clarify, because Klein falls out of his chair most days. You have to take more of the magic pills. You didn't take enough of the magic pills. And the magic pills have actual mushrooms in them. Cipocibel blend or whatever it's called. Cipocibel. Whatever. They're in there, dude. Who wrote what song about that? That's actually written

from the book. Some stupid stupid... You can't even make anything up. Your stupid bookie book. So I think that means then if we go over all of our goals for this funner summer 2026... Well, I do have a question about a couple of them. Okay. Because Johnny

was assigned going to a bounce house and spending the whole day at the beach and having sex on the beach, and I don't know, I haven't heard anything about Johnny's Funner Summer Challenge. Did you knock any of those off the list? Yeah, real answer, Sean. You don't say something because you think it's what we want to hear. Well, we didn't get

a bounce house for your party thingy. Well, that wasn't on me to do. The bounce house was there's bounce houses everywhere. You can also get one. You even said you had a cousin that has bounce houses. Didn't you say that? Well, he used to do that. He doesn't do that anymore.

He got a real job afterwards. So you did none of them? So you didn't get into a bounce house this summer? Didn't get in a bounce house, no. What was my other one? Did you have sex on the beach? No. I only went to the beach like three times this summer.

Great effort, Johnny. Thanks. All right, Johnny. That's Johnny right there. So you didn't do either of your things. Jake's got to find a third cactus guy to get his mescaline. That's effort right there. I know.

I really tried to do my one-night stand. I wasn't able to achieve it, but at least I made a valiant effort to try and make this happen and climb through that crappy party all for us. I didn't throw crap. I threw a great party. What are you talking about? Ice cream cake didn't have ice cream in it, but other than that, it was a backyard kegger

followed by the backup backyard kegger that we did last week that was great. Yeah, that was great. So the backyard kegger we did. Did I pull an all-nighter? Yes, I did in Vegas. Went to that. So done and done. There's proof. Johnny, post all the footage I sent you from Vegas. They don't believe I've shown proof of the Vegas thing.

Jake did try a new drug, mescaline. Congratulations, Jake. Did you eat something fried this summer, Jake? Hell yeah. I'll just fry stuff. Me too. Like what? Corn dogs fried.

Just as all you eat, corn dogs? Mustard sandwiches and corn dogs. You're the only grown up that I know that eats corn dogs. Omar, your assignment was to have sex three times in one day. I did that too. Yeah. That did not happen. Jake did that.

I did that too, Jake. We both did that. Not with each other. And then watercraft. Did you do anything on a watercraft this summer? I was on one of those floaty things in a pool. No, that's not a watercraft. What did you do?

Allie tried to pick up that one for you this weekend. I did kayaking this weekend in my inflatable kayak that I brought from home. Oh, then my tube works. So we didn't really do that one. Johnny didn't do his bounce house at all. I kind of did that, but I don't want you to make fun of me. What, Vanessa? Or was it a friend's birthday?

They brought a bounce house. I don't know. Was your friend six? No, she's older, but it's for the kids. It's for the children. Older she's eight. And I'm just like, oh, I did this. So, Johnny, I got you.

Were you the only adult in the bounce house? Some parents were in there. Chasing their toddlers. But the parents were in there trying to get their kids out to go home. Were you the only one in there by choice? i was i just i sometimes i take care of the kids too right okay so you were in the bounce house all right we got a point on that one good job vanessa saving the show as always and then uh no one had sex on the beach this summer no i mean i went to the beach but i didn't have sex on the

beach they were too packed every beach was so overcrowded this summer um and then you got drunk at a water park vanessa did that vanessa did yeah i organized that camping got canceled because of heat wave but then i even rescheduled it and then it got it was like another every time i scheduled a new camping trip it got another heat wave so and then the one night stand which is what ali was supposed to do did anyone have a one night stand vanessa now will be the time if you're holding back on us i know i know but i didn't unfortunately well jake's kind of counts we've been sorry we kept seeing each other though yeah that's he ruined it yeah but what about the other dates that you had.

They weren't full sex. He didn't have sex. He didn't have sex. So we didn't do the one night stand. All right. We did half, I guess. I think we did pretty good.

We made an effort except for Johnny. Yeah. I did stuff. Yeah. We all made the effort except Johnny. I ate fried chicken.

Right. Okay. Take it back. I ate fried chicken sandwich. It was dank, bro. I take it back. I take it back. All right.

We all made effort. It was dank, bro. We got to take a break. We get back in a second. We got your ADD news to get through. And more importantly for you, more tickets for you to go to Not Scary Farm. We'll do that after this quick break.

I'm K-Rock. Funner Summer is moving right into an even funner fall. We announced earlier this morning all the details of our next show hang, which is called the Klein Alley Show Fiesta Siesta. If you can't decide if you like to party or nap, we'll have both options available at our next event. Details up on our Instagram at Klein Alley Show. More show next.

K-Rock, we are Klein Alley Show. We'll find out what's happening in the world with a look at the ADD News. And a brand new hour of the show will officially begin. And as always, your messages are welcome on that go line, 844-956-GOAT. Comments, critiques, criticisms, and this. Hey, quiet in the alley. This is Phillip, which is irrelevant. It's early in the morning.

I'm just getting up, doing my thing. But, you know, I just appreciate you guys so much, and thank you, you know. Anyways, didn't even need free tickets. I don't believe that. We have tickets for you, and we'll be hooking you up all week long. Right now, though, let's get into this. It is your news. Grab your Adderall.

It's time for ADD News. It was cool or it was terrifying, depending on who you are. The high surf from Hurricane Marie, it damaged the boardwalk. The seawalls in Long Beach were getting pounded all weekend. People were boarding up their houses. There were even some evacuations, too, though I think those were just kind of precautionary. I don't think a lot of people listened to that. But a lot of other people were being storm chasers about it.

They were going right up to the edge of the boardwalk to get video of the 15-plus foot waves crashing up against the wall there, and then you have other people that were racing to surf, and then people getting rescued, of course. The lifeguards had another big rescue weekend, almost 200 rescues over the weekend, and it was nice to get a little rain, but it is supposed to be hot as hell again this week,

and I'm wearing a sweatshirt in protest of that. Yeah, well, your hormones are all over the place, right? So you don't know how you're feeling. You just know you're hungry. I'm hungry always, yes. Sweatshirts are a good thing to hide your hunger. It's also a good thing to hide everything else. Right, that's why.

I think I always down to sweatshirts. It's either muumuu's or sweatshirts. You know what I'm noticing now is that my sweatshirts are getting tight. Yeah, I was going to say, that used to be so baggy on you. Now it seems like it's shrunk. It's funny when I don't wear something for a while. Like it's been a couple of months since I've worn a shirt. And I'm like, I remember this being big.

And then I put it on and I'm like, nope, can't put that on anymore. If I get you a muumuu, will you wear it? Yes. Oh, okay. Oh, man. I'm going to get used to like so many muumuu's. Are there muumuu's like 10 for like $1? I think you can get 10 muumus for a buck.

Yeah. And it's crazy they're so cheap because it's just so much fabric. Totally. Yeah, but I want to know if there are any pant muumus because I'm not a big dress person. Oh, got it. I think the whole idea of the muumu is just kind of one giant, like, tarp you just put over yourself. You can use it to, like, cover your car. Yeah, but I wanted to have pants, too, like a circus performer.

Oh, okay, well, Omar, look into that if you could. I'll have to check. You talked about storm chasing. Can we make it uglier? Our very own storm chaser was out and about this weekend. Good morning, Klein and Allie. This is Blind Charlie, and I'm reporting live from Hurricane Marie. Ah! Oh, my God, it's raining!

That is all for now. That's right. That was the big report we got from our very own Storm Chaser, who's out in the elements this weekend. I missed all of it. The NFL season kicks off tomorrow. More balls, more bets, and, of course, more concussions. Should be exciting. Take it from a man who has had more than a thousand concussions in his career, Mr. Brett Favre. Here he is to get you excited about the Packers season. Hello, everyone. It's Brett Favre, former Packer. Speaking of Packers, I want to congratulate and thank the Colectivo Packers Mexico for bringing Packer fans together nationwide.

And I want to invite everyone to the official photo shoot on September 13th at 12 p.m. at Palacio del Balas Artes in Mexico City. By the way, Mexico City is a beautiful city. And then after that, you can go to the kickoff watch parties. There you go. That's the end. I know it's sad because it's probably CTE creeping in, but the reality is. Well, also, I think he got diagnosed with Parkinson's a couple of years ago.

But I also remember him reading stuff while he was still an active quarterback, and it was pretty similar. Well, I mean, think about the fact that the man has been hit in the head more than Johnny has ever as a baby. Right, right. And, you know, it's a huge factor. The guy's only 56. He sounds like he's 80 years old. He's also like the whitest dude trying to speak Spanish. Right.

We can't give a white guy like that anything about Mexico City. And by the way, I love Mexico City. I love it. Beautiful city. There's no way that guy's ever been to Mexico City, right? We can all agree. And just Mexicans in general. I love them. Beautiful people.

Are vegans hotter than meat eaters? This is a question. People are studying cancer, and then there are people that study this. They're all scientists, by the way. They have determined that, yes, vegans are hotter, both by perception and they actually can be physically more attractive because of their diet. So they basically showed a bunch of people, other hot people. And then they said, you know, there were some people that were vegan and some people that weren't. And they decided that the people who were vegan, most people thought were hotter.

But it also depends on what they're eating. So you ever seen a woman eat a rib? It's so hot. Well, did you then look at Raina, the competitive eater that we've had on the show? So many people were perving out on just watching this woman eat and eat really fast and eat large amounts of it. I mean, I watched her eat, I think it was a 16-pound burger or something the other day, and I was even turned on by it, and I don't really care about stuff like that. It's funny because wings is one of those foods I would never order on an early date

because I know I look like an absolute just a disgusting cannibal slob eating wings. But watching a woman eat a wing is like very arousing to me. Especially if they have a system. Yeah, they do the twist and they suck the meat off it. And then all of a sudden it's just bone there. And then they lick all their fingertips. Oh, my God. Apparently, the orange and red pigments that are found in fruits and vegetables like cantaloupes and mangoes and bell peppers and carrots can promote a healthier and more attractive coloring.

And also garlic can help optimize the attractiveness of body odor, which I can't believe is true. People who eat a lot of garlic. So good on you vegans. And the good news is vegans love talking about being vegan, so you'll all know who they are. And all the attractiveness is canceled out by telling us about their veganism. Oh, it's raining. You want my chili recipe? It's vegan chili.

No, I'm good. Thank you very much. I'll just drown in these waves. We'll get into a brand new hour of the show in moments. This is the world famous K-Rock. Let's go color 20 right now as we get into a brand new hour of Fine Alley Show. Send you to Not Scary Farm opening night. You will be there to get all them scares.

All the good Instagram videos. Get them good early because everyone else will start telling you, you know, oh, hey, remember, just when you think you're out, there's one more scare. But when you go first, you don't have any indication. You're the guinea pigs. Yeah, I know. You don't know what to expect. I think the first scares are the best scares, and you get to be a part of that.

Let's get you in right now. Call 2-800-520-1067. Opening night, Not Scary Farm. This Halloween season is finally upon us, And the number to call us, once again, is 800-520-1067. We will grab call at 20 in a moment. You'll have chances to win those tickets, four of them, every hour, all day long, straight up through 6 p.m. If you're a new listener, new to the show, or just moved here from another land, nice to see you.

I'm Clyne. That's Allie. Good morning. There's DJ Omar Khan right there. Hello. That is Jake Zunard. Zach. He's recovering from being high on mescaline. Do you need any? He's got a cactus guy.

I have three. He's got three cactus men. In the back, you've got Postmaster Johnny and producer Vanessa. She's not on bounce houses or boarding up her place in Long Beach to avoid the giant waves. She's here keeping us on the tracks. At least that's the goal at 800-520-1067. This is Klein Alley Show. And we say good morning right now to...

Oh, man, Alley. I see a lot of people on the phone that want in. And it's going to put us, I believe, in Monterey. Monterey? Hold on. Is this Cameron? Carmen? Carmen, hi.

Good morning. Good morning from Monterey Park. You are the 20th caller. All right. Thank you so much. Enjoy all them scares. You will be going to some Not Scary Farm for opening night, all right? Thank you.

Available to the general public from September 17th through October 31st. That's Halloween night, and you will be there before anyone else. Hold on one second, and more of those tickets coming up again next hour with Sluggo right here on KROQ. I like to think that people who are decorating for Halloween early are like modern-day protesters against the weather. They're just anti-summer protesters. Well, I think some people, especially with the heat wave we had, followed by like a slight cool-down only to get to where we're at now, which is going to be all that post-rain hot humidity crap. Dude, I was so pissed.

It's supposed to be 98 tomorrow. People believe that they can start acting like winter. Just pretend that fall is here. And then it'll happen. Yes, you have to manifest it and will it because the sun obviously isn't listening. No. Well, I forget what that groundhog said this year, but... Did anyone even listen to any more of that thing or no?

What did they say this year? I think they said there was more winter. Yeah. Well, anyway, here we are. We've got a brand new hour of the show to get into in moments. If you need us, the number is 800-520-1067. We'll get to some Lifetime Achievement Award nominees later this hour. and give you some stuff as well

because I know we just gave away tickets, but we still get you into the Sandsport Super Show in the OC Fair and Events Center. That'll be coming up this hour right here. But first, Amy Lee and Evanescence to get you into a new hour on KROQ. So that'd be our Klein Alley Show. Hey guys, sweet dogs.

This is your most dedicated slogger in the high desert. Someone claims that they are our most dedicated slogger. You can prove it by getting your very own Los Sloggers t-shirts. We'll give them away to the first 106 people that show up to our just announced Fiesta Siesta happening a week from Wednesday at Descanso, just after the show, 11 a.m.

start time. First 106.7 people that arrive will get themselves the shirt. I think we're rounding it up to 107, but yeah. Rounding up or down, depending on body weight of that last person. But regardless, you get in there, you get yourself a Los Slagos shirt. It's pretty cool. It's our first ever Los Slagos shirt celebrating

Mexican Independence Day. And you will get yourself the gourmet taco from Descanso, plus some other things we have in store for you, including live music. This woman, though, claims she is the most dedicated slog i just wanted to let you guys know that my therapist actually pretty much prescribed you guys for my medicine to get myself out of my anxious moments and my depression well that's definitely not qualified therapist then right that's like ali's wife it's just somebody who's a listener who happens to have some kind of a a degree or doesn't even have a degree

I mean, because... But, I mean, great. Take that, Lexapro. Ha! We make people happy. Happier than you, you dumb pill. I love Lexapro. How dare you talk that about me?

Yeah, Lexapro's great. In our therapy, she asked me in the beginning, like, what do you like to do, you know, when you have some alone time? I'm like, I sit and listen to the Klein and Allie show. And she's like, Klein and Allie show. I'm like... What the hell? You said, what the hell is that?

She sussed down her notebook. What the what? At times, she's up. you're gonna commit her i'm like if you don't know it you should know it you ain't cool if you don't know it but i told her how much i love you guys and she basically like told me uh just recently she's like that's your medicine that makes you a happier person keep up with the klein alley show don't play we are medically prescribed show now this is this is exactly what happened to weed at one point weed became legal because at one point they found some little

medical loophole for and everyone was like get on in us so now the therapists are recommending this show helped grow the show a little bit but i just want to let you guys know that you really put a smile on my face every day and you've really helped me get through some super tough times please keep doing what you guys are doing love you guys well there you go and that's um that's a very nice message from a woman who's clearly mentally deranged but regardless thank you for the call we'll take the drink and uh thank you for uh your therapist suggesting that this show brings you happiness i hope that we don't go the way of the cigarette where at the beginning Everyone was like, oh, my God, this is amazing.

Everyone should do it. Oh, you're not cool if you're not smoking a cigarette. And everybody was just lighting up. And every single section of the restaurant was a smoking section. And then someone realized they're bad for you. Yeah, but now they're cool again. Yeah, I know. But then the, like, everyone, like, smoking is at an all-time low because everyone's like, oh, like, cancer.

No, it's not now. It's back. Ali reversed most smoking because when you officially quit smoking is when all these things came out. And they said smoking is now back in a big way. I know. It's cool again, it's socially acceptable again, and it's all because you stopped doing it. You were the one thing that was holding down smoking. Smoking was like, finally, she's gone.

They're like, Surgeon General's like, thank God for this Allie Johnson. She put it out, and now we all can pick it up again. And there's other things that now are universally cool that were medically prescribed at one point. I think vibrators for a while, that was like a medical thing. Really? Yeah, I think the first... That was something they prescribed? I don't know exactly how it worked, but I remember something like where doctors would use them

to try to, like, get the crazy out of women. When women got the vapas? Yeah, when women would, like, act all crazy, they'd be like, they'd go to the doctor, and the doctor's like, here we go. They would just call it hysteria. Right, and they would go, here's a rabbit. Here, just pleasure yourself.

You'll feel better. You get the crazy out. But then it's, yeah, people usually feel pretty good after they have an orgasm, so. Or, like, vibrators, cigarettes, and weed. There you go. Now you know what you've been missing. We'll take a quick break.

We're back in a moment. We have more show, an old people's secret to get to, help you live forever, and much more next on KROQ. Okay, Rock, we are the Klein Alley Show. We'd love to give you the gift of eternal life. And it's way better than winning tickets. Sure, we have tickets for you and access and everything else. And yes, a lot of people are asking, how can I win tickets to the next show hang?

You don't need tickets. You just show up there. So once again, that is open to the general public. And that's the Klein Alley Show Fiesta Siesta. Go ahead and set a reminder. Happening a week from Wednesday, September 16th, 11 o'clock sharp at Descanso. First 106, though, will get themselves a low-slugger shirt and the gourmet taco. Yeah, we're very general public.

General public. So it makes sense that we host something that's just for the regular people of the world. So if you'd like to come, we'd love to see you there. We have an old person that's going to share with us their secret. If you'd like to live forever, you must start doing this immediately. And if you're not, then you could die by the end of today. So listen closely to this. From chicken brain to drinking rain.

Not getting laid. They call me the barmaid. They call me the barmaid. That's right. Let's live forever with Sweet Dibbets. Sweet Dibbets. Time for some old people secrets. Now, this woman is triple digits, which is impressive.

But, I mean, we've had some high triple digits. We've had 111-year-olds. So this one's a little less impressive, but still worthy of making it into the old people's secrets. Well, this is when they start writing about you. Right. So you've got to hit triples. And I was explaining to my daughter. I can't believe I'm saying this, but my daughter turned 10 today, which is crazy.

And I was trying to explain to her the significance of that is the next time that she will add another digit to her age is when she turns 100. It's when she's dead. And then she said to me, are you going to be here for that? I go, oh, no. I will be long, long gone. Yeah. I mean, going double digits is probably the most exciting birthday. It's the first big milestone birthday.

Double digits is a big one, but triple digits is where it's at. No one asks you what your life secret is when you're 10. They don't care. But when you're 100, all of a sudden, that's when they start asking. Some people retire into a rocking chair. Okay, these go here. Margaret Lines. Now, she does not want that stereotype of just an old lady in a rocking chair.

And by the way. I would love that. That sounds amazing. Amazing. Especially in one of those digital rocking chairs, so you don't really have to do the work to rock yourself. Oh, my God. She just kind of does it for you. That's just someone with a stick poking you back and forth.

Yep, that's the only other option. That sounds true. I'd love that. You don't have to do anything. We don't have the technology. It has to be someone with a stick. It has to be someone. That's old school.

I'll keep it traditional. Okay, these go here. Margaret Lines found a volunteer shift. You have to keep going. You can't sit down. One more. And just how long has she been going? I never think about that.

Oh, it's 100. So this is every volunteer now pretty much is like almost 100 years old. Because they are so bored. They're like, I have to keep busy with something, so I guess I'll just do charity work. Yeah, and it's a great, technically, in theory, it's great. The reality is, and this sucks, but I was someone that recently had to deal with an elderly volunteer at the sheriff's station. And it was painfully. Well, and like the voting booths, they're everywhere.

Right. And they make everything. And they have nowhere to be, so they're not in a hurry. No. And you are? I'm trying to get some past sins. I'm trying to get into heaven. Oh, is that what's going on?

Oh, good theory, Jay. They're trying to clear their scorecard before they meet their maker. So they're like, oh, I just got to put in some volunteer hours now, and I'll go from hell to heaven. Yeah, right before you check out. Well, if you want to get to heaven, why don't you help a little faster? Because this, I mean, very slow, and this woman was trying to explain to me I was in the wrong place for my fix-it ticket,

and then she said, I can tell you the right place if you show me your phone. And that's where I messed up, because I gave her my phone, and then she was completely perplexed by it. Just couldn't figure out what it was. What is this? Yeah. This isn't a stick. I thought you had a poking stick.

So, I mean, I appreciate the old people for volunteering. Of course. But it is. But it's just such a long process. It feels like it takes three volunteers to help the one volunteer volunteer. Yeah, and I feel like some of the other volunteers, the ones that aren't 100, have to work overtime to make up for the 100-year-old person. But you can't say that because then you're a dick if you're like, this volunteer sucks and is really slowing things down. You're like, she's packing, Gladys is packing the backpacks.

We're going to have to unpack all of them. Right. We're going to have to repack them. She's got her own system of dirt. Margaret celebrated her 100th birthday right here at the center. That's her hips. I won't point that out. The hips are shattering.

But she plows through. She's tough. Right here at the center. Surrounded by the people, she spends so much of her time helping. And finding something to do has never been a problem for Margaret. I've always bowled all my life. Another activity where the average age is like 85. Right.

Which is weird because you would think that would be a tough one on the body. I mean, it's not really, it's not that much physical activity, but I mean, that ball is taking three steps, nine pounds or 12 pounds or something. My grandma had a pretty heavy ball even when she was bowling at 90. Yeah, I started bowling when I was in high school. These days, she's still stepping up to the lane every Tuesday, lining up her shot and sending that ball toward the pins. After 82 years on the lanes, you're in the parking lot. You're not in the lane. Yeah, you're not in the bowling alleys over there, man.

You're in a wall. 82 years on the lanes. Oh, that was so good. Oh, man. Is she still bowling? Or is she bowling? I don't know. Oh, that was so good.

Oh, wow. That sounds like a secret to me. Margaret has learned that a good game takes more than just a good role. Oh, she got a good game. You can't have your mind wandering this way or that way. Maybe that's the secret. Now, this is the woman now is doing what the news people do. They try to guess what the secret is before they ask the secret.

So we'll get to the actual secret in a moment and place your bets. But this is what the woman thinks her secret's going to be. Maybe that's the secret. Stay focused, keep moving, and find something that brings you joy. Now, that's the news anchor's theory as to what the secret is. In a moment, this woman is about to give us what her actual secret is. The real secret. So what do you think she's going to say?

She's 100, she bowls, she volunteers, she is not much for rocking chairs. What do you think her secret is going to be for how she's able to live this long and healthy life? I think it's going to be tapping that. Tapping that. I think she's going to make a sex show. Sexually active. She sounds like it. She's breaking all those bones.

Yeah. I mean, when she made that noise, that's not a bowling ball. You made a similar noise at one point. No, I don't think I have. I've never made noises like that, at least not sexually. Yeah, no, I think it was a reaction to food, but it sounded like. Oh. No.

That's not it. Oh. No. No. Oh. Oh, that's a good one. I don't like having sex with this woman. Oh, that was so good.

Thank you. Catchy. Oh, thank you. I don't like having sex with this woman at all. There it is. Oh, that was so good. You're so horny. Stop it, Chris.

Oh, that was so good. You want to hide the finger? No. You'll never find it again. This poor woman is 100 years old. We're celebrating her. I don't like what's happening. She knocked down those pins, baby.

I am turned on right now. All right, what's her secret, Allie? It's clearly not that. I said tap in that. All right, Allie said tap in that. Jake? I think she's going to say beer. She's a beer drinker.

Omar, what's her secret? I don't want to say Omar. He's going to start playing this again. Oh, that was so good. I'm going to eat it all. Yummy, yummy, yummy. Oh, man. You're eating it

That's great Now you're speaking her language Alright, so anyway Vanessa, you want to guess? Yes, hot girl walk Oh, a hot girl walk Alright, let's find out what her actual She's got to walk it off after this

I'm just happy she complimented me Even though I know it's all nonsense I still feel... You're just glad you looked good in the situation. I feel good that she said it was good, regardless. I know I was trying to make her say it was terrible. Old people are honest. Here's her actual secret.

Eat well, sleep well, and help others. There you go. Oh, that's basically what... That's her secret. That's what I was doing. You're going to eat it all yummy, yummy. Oh, man. Oh.

Thank you. Oh, that was so good. I like the way you kiss me. You're so respectful. Oh, you're so romantic. Yeah, it's really sweet that you guys still kiss. It's a beautiful long story. Such a dry kiss.

You guys are ridiculous. K-Rock. Let's do some takeaways, then we'll officially get out of here. The number to text them to us is 800-520-1067. And then Sluggo will be in here, get you some more of that K-Rock and more of those tickets for Not Scary Farm opening night. We'll win them every hour, continuing all day long straight up through 6 p.m. All right, takeaways from today's show, and then we'll do it again tomorrow

and try to figure out a way to do it better. What do we got? All right, 818, my takeaway is Magic Johnson gets his parking validated. Yeah, just like us, guys. I will say this, he was driving a Bentley. A lot of people are asking me, what type of car was Magic Johnson driving

when he pulled up next to you? It was a Bentley, as he should. Similarly, Klein gets dressed as white Magic Johnson for Halloween. Only a couple of times. Three times, I believe, I wore that as a child. Let's see. 213, Allie loves those pork jowls.

It's her favorite cut of meat is pork jowls. 818, white guys love Mexico City. According to Brett Favre, it's the best. Oh, another one. Wow, 310, Klein had pinups of Magic Johnson. They were posters. Allie called them pinups. She's a gay lady.

She doesn't know what posters are. 909, Klein and Jake had sex three times in one night. Not with each other. And let's see. Here we go. 310, another Magic Johnson one. Magic Johnson is alive. And 626, I have a mouthful of pancakes.

You can go ahead and see all those pictures and much of the stuff we just chatted about up on our Instagram at Klein Alley Show. While you're there, you can see the details for our next show hang, which is called the Klein Alley Show's Fiesta Siesta. Your decision. You want to party? You want to nap? We'll have both happening. It's going to be a great time. Jake will be in charge of Team Siesta because he loves that daily nap.

Yeah, we have a hotel over there, French. It's going to be a great hang regardless of what it is that you're in for, live music and everything else. So what's your takeaway from today's show, Postmaster Johnny? Magic Johnson's dead. He's not dead. He's very much alive, and I got to tell him that to his face, and he was thrilled to know it. What's your takeaway?

What's your name? Vanessa. Klein Alley Show is like cigarettes. And weed. And dildos. And weed. That's right, all of them. We're medicinal now.

Remember that. That means we're a tax write-off, I think. Alley, takeaway? My takeaway is everyone needs at least one cactus guy. Jake, the nerd, takeaway. Yeah, get you a moo-moo so you can hide your hunger. Got to hide the hunger behind the muumuu. Allie's trying with sweatshirts, but these sweatshirts are getting tight on her.

Order me some muumuu's all the way home. Those bodybuilders at Gold's Gym in Venice or whatever. Ripping through that shirt. Omar, do you have a takeaway? Yeah, this is my takeaway. Nope, me. Oh, that was so good. I've got dementia.

Thank you. It's a beautiful thing right there. There's so much in common. I feel like I got lucky this morning already, which is great. I think so. All right, we'll do it tomorrow and try to do it better. If you need us in the meantime, hit us up on the GOAT line, 844-956-GOAT, and that'll pretty much do it for us.

All right, that's it. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Hit it. Bye. Clown and Allie, it's just okay. Do-do-do.

Clown and Allie, it's just okay. Wow. Clown and Allie, it's just okay. Just, just, just, just okay. Do-do-do. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. All right, this episode of Clown and Allie Show, The podcast has come to an end.

But if you haven't heard the big news, we are now on YouTube. That's right. Mr. Beast and us. The two most important things on YouTube. We're YouTube sluts now. And we're proud of it. You can watch the show. We recommend you do.

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