Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Dadfessions

Episode Date: June 18, 2026

New episode of Klein Alley Show is about to begin, but before that can happen, Alley, let's tell the people what they need to know. You mean about San Bernardino International Airport? Of course I'm talking about the San Bernardino International Airport. Easy, close, and not LAX. And parking is always just five bucks a day, which means it is El Cheapo approved. Fly nonstop to Provo, Utah for all the skiing, snowboarding, or wives you can handle. And of course you can fly into my hometown of San Francisco, San Bernardino International Airport, when airports smell great. K-Rock, Klein Alley Show. Sunday is Father's Day, and we are giving you right now the father of all giveaways. The father of all giveaways.

Every day this week, TVs and mountains of meat. What dad out there doesn't want a bigger TV and a bigger mountain of meat? We're going to make that happen for you right now, and today the question we have on K-Rock is, what is something you'd like to confess? Maybe you don't even want to confess it, but you will, because the prize is just that good, and perhaps you've been holding it deep down inside. You got away with it. I dodged a bullet, and I believe that everyone,

even Omar, a good dad like Omar, probably had some oopsies, close-call moments, and they realized, ooh, I will never do that again, or whoopsies. Yeah, I will never tell my wife. That is something my wife will never find out about. How close my kid came to death. It's great all of the times I've almost killed my kids

before they could speak, because then I was like, all right, the victimless crime. They're alive, and they can't possibly say what happened. They can look at me with their eyes being judgmental, but they can't say anything. Once they learn words and they said things like, Daddy, let me drive the car, then we've got a real problem. So it's time now for Dad Fessions, Up for Grabs, Giant TV, and money for you to spend. Thanks to our friends who are hooking us up with gift cards all week to Vons Albertsons Pavilions. If you add up everything, it's thousands of dollars worth of meat and hundreds of inches worth of TVs.

And we say good morning now to Daniel on KROQ. welcome to the first dad fashion you can use fake names if it makes it easier to share the story what's up daniel hey what's up so my son was about 10 12 years old around that age 10 11 and he was out riding his skateboard he falls and he hits himself obviously and then he's like oh my real search my real search i'm like suck it up there's nothing wrong nothing wrong and then And after weeks of complaining, I finally took him to the doctor. And I was like, there's nothing wrong with you. I'm going to break your own arm.

Turns out it was broken. So he was complaining about his sore wrist. And you said, suck it up. There's nothing wrong. And it turns out after weeks of that, you finally brought him in. And they said it's been broken for weeks. Yeah, my wife actually didn't get away with it. You know, obviously had to get him on a cast.

Yeah. Did you still call him a pussy? This happened to me when I was a kid. Did it start healing wrong, and did they have to re-break it? Yeah, hold on one second. He's on line three. Yeah, did they have to break it again? No, no.

No, I did that. I did that. Yeah, Omar, that's because you, similar situation. You broke something, and your mom refused. Yeah, I broke something, and then it was swollen, and they're like, no, you're fine. And then about a week and a half later, they took me to the doctor, and from what I remember, there was no anesthesia or whatever. They placed my hand on top of the table, and the doctor just slammed his hand on my wrist

and rebroke it. Broke it again, yeah. And I was just screaming bloody murder. It turns out you're the pussy. Yep. Yep. Okay. Oh, my God.

That's the old school method? They just slam their hand on your wrist? That's what they did, yeah. Oh, my bad insurance. It's $3 more for the anesthesia. No, no, no. No, it's fine. No, that's fine.

Say good morning now to Alexander. Dad fessions time. You're in a safe space, technically. You can admit anything you'd like to admit, and we will not judge you, but we may reward you with a nice TV. What's up? Hey, how's it going? Good. All right, so my son was about four years old, and we were at the park.

He was on the apparatus, and he was up pretty high, and I told him to jump down that he would make it. You know, he was lying on his feet, so I assumed he was going to land on his feet. he goes for the jump and he like goes horizontal immediately and like face plant on the metal you know the base and i was like oh my and i wasn't close enough to catch him so he falls i run up there i grab him quickly he starts crying i had to take him to a to the doctor to make sure he didn't have a concussion or anything um unfortunately his mom did find out no no so So we're divorced now. Okay.

That's such a dad thing to do, though, to be like, dude, you can make it. Come on, you got this. You don't think you have to give all the details. Like, jump, and remember to land on your feet. Yeah, that's just a given. Jump, and the guy probably tries to fly like Superman and lands on his face. That's a bummer right there.

All right, well, there you go. It lives to tell the tale. And that's back in the good old days when the playgrounds used to not have that, you know, foam everywhere. It was just all of steel and metal. Oh, yeah. Those things.

and they'd, like, rust, too, and hurt your arm. Yeah, three options. It was either going to be, like, tetanus, a giant third-degree burn because the sun would hit it, or some sort of... Or, like, chafe so bad on your skin. All right, well, once again, can't be a good dad all the time. He was probably so mad at his kid, too.

Be like, why'd you jump like that, you idiot? Rick, dad fashions. Don't have to be times you almost killed your kid, but sadly, that is the stories we're getting, and that's okay. We're here for it. What's up, Rick? Yeah, we...

I unknowingly, I took my son on the most dangerous hike in the United States on the way home on a road trip. We stopped by Angels Landing in Utah and we're hiking it. And there's a section where it's a chain. You're just supposed to hold on to it because it's cliffs on both sides. If you fall, you die. If you fall, you die. and was this kid like did he hike at all or is this his first time out in the wilderness oh he's athletic okay but we're up there and he likes to tempt me and you know mess with me so

he's letting go of the chain joking around and i'm freaking out so he thinks he's hilarious you know i mean it is we get it it is now um so then we get to the top we come down and we're talking about it and we didn't know it was the most dangerous hike and we're talking about it and these ladies who were walking in front of us they're like you guys just took your 10 year old up there

I'm like yeah why that's the most dangerous hike in the United States and I didn't believe her then we had to look it up and we're like oh shoot yeah yeah what do they recommend age 18 plus yeah and that was the thing where it's like alright don't tell mom

yeah don't tell mom What are you going to say we did? I'd just say we went to Walmart. That's dangerous, too. Yeah. It's just any dad putting their kid in a dangerous situation, you can think of that as being a bad father. Or you could think of being like a great dad, right? Giving your kid these once-in-a-lifetime experiences.

Yeah, once again, happy ending, survival. So you've got the story now, but the reality that he very easily could have fallen to his cliffs on both sides. Hold on to the chain. Why does it even be a hike? Marcus, I'm K-Rock. Let's talk about dad fashions now. Now, these are things that you probably wouldn't necessarily want the mother of your child to know about. But, oh, well, you can share them over the airwaves at KROQ.

Someone's getting a big TV and a pile of meat. All right, this is my dad's session. You guys are trying to get me killed because she's sitting outside the car about to get in at any second. So my dad's session, it was a Halloween last year, and I got my two kids, 87. So I hear the kids get in, and I hear a door close. I'm assuming both kids are in. I'm pulling off and my daughter's screaming Telling me that I left my son

I look in the mirror and he's running down the street In his Flash costume Crying, with his hands flailing By himself And it's like a thousand kids out there in Ladera So it's like so many people out there And he's so late, seven, that's my youngest And he's running down the street crying after the car

And I stop and he gets in the car And he left me, I'm like, and I'm mad at him Because I left him Well at least he was dressed like the Flash Because it fits for the whole visual that we're seeing which is a little kid in a flash costume running after his... Please, no. What a superhero.

That's my dad driving off right there. I've done that. I've done a variation of that before. Leaving without one of the kids? Well, you just hear the door close and you assume... You don't check back there before you drive away? Don't you want to make sure they're properly in the car and seat belted? At some point, I hear click and I go,

all right, I think that was two clicks. I think it's enough clicks. That's enough clicks. Time to move on. So you're giving your kid the... I've never officially done the drive off, but I've definitely done the doors closed, car on, moved it into drive, and then realized, oh, wait, there's only one back there.

Two is tricky, Allie. Good luck with the triplets you got coming your way. That's going to be difficult. I don't have triplets. Joe, it's Dad Fession, Sanque Rock. What's up, Joe? Yes, my Dad Fession was, you know, my kids, they had just gotten a PlayStation for Christmas.

It was near New Year's, and they were just so much into it that they played so much, and I would tell them, you know, you guys need to get out. we need to get out more and play more in the yard and they were fussing and complaining well we don't know what to do dad and i gave them some bad advice not the best advice but i told me no you guys because they were they didn't know what to do so i said you guys can go out there and play ball or just butter up the dog and see who can catch them and yeah literally they got the crisco and the butter and they they got our yeah they got our german shepherd all buttered up and he

made a mess that was like blobs of, you know, just butter and Crisco and hair on the furniture on the couches. It was really bad. I bet you wish that they had just stuck with the video games. Yes. The best advice you could give your kids for

things to do outside was either play ball or butter up the dog and try to catch it? Correct. Yes. I got me in trouble with the wife. I mean, it's a great idea. So entertaining. Did they catch him? well yeah they were chasing them inside the house that was a bad thing they would have did it outside it would have been a different story but they did it indoors

dog is like look at himself dog i love that game yeah i mean yeah and we still talk about this it's a story we share very common you know and we're like together with family or friends you know sometimes the story just comes up you know what time it is time to crisco up the dog Water up the dog. It's Thanksgiving. That's amazing. That's a front runner right now. John, Dad Fessions, what's up?

Hey, guys. How's it going? Good. All right. So one time, my six, I think it was six, seven-year-old, he was wanting to go on Ghost Rider for the first time. So I took him, and then when we went, I ended up getting kicked off because I was too big, and I totally forgot that I left him on the ride, and I ended up leaving him on there by himself. Oh, my God.

They threw you off because it's also a shameful moment when you're too big to ride the roller coaster and you got tossed off, but your little boy was on there? Yeah. You probably freaked out when he got off as well. He's all laughing. Yeah, he was on there by himself. All right, well, Allie, there's no shortage of dad fashions here.

We have to discuss some of these. I know there's a bunch on the text line as well. 323 said that they doctored pictures of them with their son at Disneyland to trick the son into thinking I was there for all five of his birthdays. Oh, man. He just photoshopped himself in the background? Yes. There I am.

I was there. What are you talking about? I know you don't remember it, but look at these pictures. I must have been there. That's some good dad fashioning right there. I like that. We will play this one from 311. Have a conversation here.

Decide which one of these stories as if we need to discuss it. I mean, I feel like Butter Dog guy's getting a TV. 503, Butter Dog for the win. Butter Dog for the win. If you're bored or you've run out of things to do this summer already, Those kids have been out of school for a week. Just remember, tub of Crisco is still only about three bucks. Dogs, they're running all over the place.

The game rights itself. We'll come back, announce the winner, give away this TV next on K-Ride. On the K-Ride Fine Alley Show, 323 says everyone here is playing for second place. And I assumed he meant behind Butter Dog Guy. But he says, I didn't find out until I was older that my dad used to hide his crack pipe in my room growing up with my toys. That is some dad fashion right there. These are getting rather extreme. Great hiding place, though.

Great hiding place. Last place you think anyone else would look. Quickly, Conrad, I know a lot of dads want to just get some stuff off their chest, and maybe you leave here with a giant TV and a bunch of meat. Conrad, quickly, what's up? So I went to my union picnic with my son, and they had a Budweiser truck, and they had these horses.

I put my son on the horse, started drinking, and I forgot about him totally. It sounds like that would have happened to you. Wait, you left him on the Clydesdales outside the Budweiser truck? Well, I left him. They had, like, these horses that go around, you know, like a... Anyway, it was, like, for kids and stuff, so... You put him on the horse, and then you went back to drinking

and forgot that he was still on a horse. Yep. Hours later. Hours later. Still on the horse? Still on the horse. He was the only one crying. His tears dried up a couple of times.

Oh, my God. All right. A horse must have been exhausted. Can't wait to see that commercial during the Super Bowl this year. It sounds great. Let me say hi quickly to Charles. A lot of these dad fashions. We're making other dads that have not done this yet feel better about themselves.

What's up, Charles? Yeah, hey, two years ago, 4th of July, I got the kids, and I stopped to get gas. well there's a car after getting snacks and stuff there's a car that looks just like mine and somehow my boy gets in that car they don't notice i don't notice driving down the road my daughter says where's kyle i go he's in the back seat she goes uh-huh and i look he's not there and i'm thinking what the f and the only thing i knew to do was to call the chps and just luckily those people who had my kid in their car

ended up calling the CHPs too and was able to get my son back. That's an unbelievable story and a total fail on your part but a beautiful happy ending right there I'm so glad there wasn't some predator who was like wow what a happenstance turns out it's going to be my year

I don't even have to work for this Allie listen a lot of these thank you for everyone I'm sorry we couldn't get to all the stories a lot of dad fashions here someone's going to get the giant TV today and all that money to spend on meat. Do we need to discuss this? Do we have a clear front runner? I like those last batch of stories as well.

Yeah, those were great too, but I think buttering up the dog is... Hey, Joe. Yes, yes, Joe here. You had to come up with a game in your house called Butter Dog, which I don't think anyone has ever played before or since. It was where your kids got to Crisco up the dog

and chase it around the house. It ruined couches, it ruined dogs, but it brought you memories forever. And have you ever played Butterdog again since? No, not ever since. No, I've never recommended that to anybody. What is the current situation with your TV right now? I got a pretty old TV.

Well, congratulations. It is an honor to give you a brand new 75-inch TCL TV. You're very welcome. Hold on, and a bunch of money. You guys are awesome. I'm so appreciative. You're trampling all over our air check. I'm trying to get a goddamn air check for the sponsor.

So just hang on with your compliments for a second. We get it. We're the best. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 75-inch TCL TV will be yours.

And think of all the butter you could buy at Vons, Albertsons, and Pavilions. Oh, my God. $100 worth of Crisco. You could play that game all summer long. Hang on. Thanks for sharing that story. It made a lot of people laugh this morning. So thanks for sharing with us.

Thank you. Got to take a super quick break. We're back in a moment. That guy is about to get a massive TV upgrade. We'll be right back with more show and your final TV and chance to win will be coming up. We're thinking about either doing it tomorrow or maybe holding it until Monday, giving it away after Father's Day for anyone who gets royally screwed with all that homemade stuff and pairs of socks. Yeah, and doesn't get anything they really want. Because I think if I've learned anything from Father's Day shopping, it's that no one knows how to shop for dads.

Yeah. Whatsoever. Yeah. All right. We'll be right back. We've got your news to get to in another hour of the show and potentially a pop-in visit from the great Dr. Dre. Place your bets.

That'll all be coming up next on KRO.