Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Diahhraria, Dairrheea, Diyarhea? (FULL SHOW 8/19)

Episode Date: August 19, 2026

It was Klein and Vanessa going head to head in the dumb-off today, but somehow Ally still won. She was the one coming up with the questions, which started with a spelling question about Diarrhea, but there was a lot of debate about answers, question numbers, and an inevitable tie breaker that had Ally forgetting the questions she even asked in the first place. We got into a new Petty Claims today centering around two sisters who now live as roommates, only one of them eats all the food in the house without replenishing. Klein's fight with Ralphs over a mislabeled ice cream cake has reached a new level and later today he will be confronting the manager in person. Will he do so in his new weird purple shirt? There was a massive debate today about whether or not Klein bought a purple shirt. Check out the livestream on KROQ's YouTube channel to see for yourself!

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Hey, what's going on, Klein Alley?

Are you ready? I love Klein Alley, you little bitch. Klein Alley, it's just okay. Just don't let things bother you too much. Good morning, everybody. Hey, what up, Klein Alley? Whoa, sweet divot snake, did you see that? Meet the Klein Alley Show.

Let's get this show started. The show started. The show started. We are live in Los Angeles. Three, two, one. And here we go. It's Cloud Hellish. Low 6.7.

KROQ FM and HD Pasadena. Los Angeles. Orange County. The Sonic Pulse of Los Angeles. This is the world famous KROQ. Good morning. Welcome to Whimsical Women's Wednesday here at KROQ. Klein Alley Show.

My name's Klein. There's Alley over there. Morning. Wearing her official lesbian uniform of flannel. Oh, yeah. In the flannel phase. She's in her flannel phase, so get ready for that. This is actually one of the only flannels I have left.

That is. Well, you don't wear that yellow one that's in every picture you've ever taken? No, I burned it. It's funny because. That was in every picture always, and it still comes back to haunt me. Yeah. If you see any pictures of Alley in her. I mean, that's pretty much your lumberjack bumblebee phase.

you were in, which was your black and yellow flannel that was in every picture that we took, every picture about the show that went anywhere. You're like, God damn, I'm in that same shirt again. I know. I wore it for a photo shoot, and then I wore it to one event, and it's just every picture now of me online is in that shirt. It's your uniform. That's DJ Omar Khan right there.

He's the audio sniper. He'll do everything under his powers to make us look as bad as he possibly can during the show today, which won't be that hard, because we'll do it to ourselves. There's Jake the Nerd, and then you've got Postmaster Johnny and Vanessa taking the calls. 800-520-1067 today. Vanessa and I go

toe-to-toe and brain-to-brain in a round of the Dumb Off. It is day number three. Currently, if you're keeping track, moving on into the Dumb Off is, of course, Allie lost yesterday to Omar pretty badly, and Johnny lost day one, so Johnny... She was still going on this morning about

the sock question. I know, I know. She thought about it all night. She thought about it all night. She came in, and she goes, it's seven socks you need to take. And we're like, Allie, it's three socks. It was very clear yesterday, but it's been rattling around in her brain. Meanwhile, Vanessa is very concerned. I think she lost sleep over this

because she claims that to this point she has gotten zero questions right when she's playing along with the last couple. Because you guys have been going so fast, it doesn't even give you... It doesn't even give you a chance to think. Yeah, but over...

I will ask the questions. I'm asking the questions today. I will ask them a little bit more slowly, and we will give you time to answer. So, it's okay. It's okay. You're concerned about the dumb-off? Yeah, like, so far nothing. I have gotten not

one single question. Was there anything you thought you got until you heard the answers? You were pretty confident your answer was right? No, I was too slow. I don't know what happened this year. Well, anyway. I'm not thinking. I'm usually good at the math ones. Could be a five-way tie for the winners of the dumb-off this year. We'll find out. So that'll be happening later this morning. We will keep

hooking you up with tickets to go to Just Like Heaven. You'll win those from us at 9am sharp today, and then throughout the day, noon, 3 and 6, and of course, more tickets to join us at the Endless Summer Kegger, unofficially known as the Clam Slam. That'll all be happening this morning right here on KROQ. Of course, for legal reasons,

we must give you something from this band, I believe, right out of the gate every morning around this time. Any guesses? Anyone? Red Hot Chili Peppers. Guess, Allie, got a guess? Nirvana, Smells Like Teen Spirit. Good guess. Omar, got a guess? Sublime? Jake? I was going to guess Chili Peppers.

Johnny? You guys are all wrong. It's going to be Linkin Park lost. Okay. All you are wrong. Dominic Pike? I bet you one of our listeners has it. It is the sweet sounds of the newest movie stars on the planet, the boys from Green Day.

I'm K.O. Q. K.O. Rockline Alley Show. We start giving you stuff in moments. If you want Alley's money or at least a shot at it, you can call us. The number is 800-520-1067. We've oftentimes talked about the first text of the day

will sometimes set up your entire day for success or failure. I've received two texts from my wife this morning. Both of them have been pictures of cockroaches. Both of them. Foreplay? That's her hitting. Well, you can't spell cockroach without, you know. So it is, she's very tweaked right now because we've been dealing with this, quote, cockroach problem in her mind, an infestation.

In my mind, and according to the professional bug guy that's come out and looked at the situation, he said this is just the time of the year that cockroaches get hot outside, so they try to sneak inside to get some cool air conditioning. Which, what the hell? Cockroaches get hot? Right. Like they're out there going, whew, so hot out here. I better go to this person's house.

This may be the time we move, guys. I'm not kidding. Because now this has been going on for like on and off for a few weeks. And she's just shot two this morning. Just sprayed yesterday. And the guy said. Yeah, but are they alive? They're like clinging on for dear life.

Oh, great. They're having like seizures on the ground. Perfect. But she's. Yeah, this to her, as much as she hates spiders. This is her 9-11. Oh, my God. Much worse.

Hey, what's up? We're on the air. Good morning. Good morning. You have the girls there, too. Okay. So, you understand that you're going to see some dead cockroaches. That's the nature of what happens in this process.

A cunamatado. That's not even where he's sprayed. Well, I understand. They go through the poison and then they... Don't they feed it to their young or something? Yeah, they feed the poison around. Hey, everyone, we got some food. And then they don't realize...

Well, I'm not faking them that. Well, then the dog's going to eat them then. And then the dog's going to eat poison. Yeah, you got to... Wait, how did you know that? I put red cups over them. I was going to say, just put cups and walk away. Like a little cemetery for cockroaches?

How'd Bruiser do it, man? Yeah, Bruiser. They're still moving. Dad? Yes? I went to the bathroom and I saw a dead cockroach. Cool. Great.

It's good stuff in my place right now. Aren't you glad you're there? This is what I get to skip every morning by coming here. Oh, man. Okay, well, listen. This is all part of the process. This is good. They're all dying, and then two weeks from now, there's not going to be any cockroach sightings.

Well, where are the ones that are in the kitchen? Maybe they went back to their little home to spread their poison around to the family. Word got out, probably. You know, word spreads fast. I don't think there's problems. I showed Allie the picture of the one that's having a seizure on the floor by the bathroom. Which is probably one of the biggest cockroaches I've ever seen. That thing is a big cockroach.

But according to the bug guy And he knows a lot more about this than we do These are the right kind of cockroaches He's not wrong, he's the expert His whole life His whole life is bugs And he said that these are the right kind of cockroaches You want to have in your house, not the other kind

Daddy, there is one in my room There's not one in your room There's not one in your room You're just saying stuff now I saw it in my room I took a picture on my iPad Danielle, is she telling the truth? I didn't tell mom yet.

Okay, this is lies now. You guys are making it sound worse than it is. Put a cup. Move on. Yeah, just put cups everywhere. We'll create a little cemetery. I mean, it's so gross. Yeah.

You want it in your bed? No, I don't want them in my bed. But you know what? This is, we live in a... Well, you seem to not have a problem with them. No, I'm making a point. We live in a major city, and everyone probably has cockroaches. We have them in this building.

I've asked a lot of people, and they don't seem to... They don't want to admit it. It's like Allie with her herpes. She doesn't want to tell people about it. She's ashamed. I've never confirmed that I have herpes, but I do not have cockroaches. But Allie makes the point. Allie, what's the difference to have your baby?

Oh, that will be revealed probably in a helicopter later this week. Yeah, it's going to be a cockroach. I'm going to put a cockroach with one girl, one boy. All right. All right, I got to go. It's going to be a cup trick. I'm glad I'm not home for this. Have a great day at school.

Bye. I'm going to school, but thank you. Not you. I'm talking to my kids Jesus Christ Never a better time to go back to school Oh my god I'm sure

So your wife works from home She has to sit in this all day How do you even work You're so distracted by am I going to see another cockroach Can I go to the bathroom We're at a point now Allie She will not even go into the cabinet to get a snack She will tell me to go in

If she needs me to get a snack for her She's so terrified that things are going to lunge at her Yeah well they will They're not going to lunge at her. No, they want to eat her. She knows it. They're out to get her, and they look so big because they're feeding off of all of your stuff.

Feeding off that leftover cake. Yeah, they're going to your house. This has happened for many years. No matter where you are, you have skunks, you have... Text line is saying Klein's house historically has had spiders, fleas, lice, skunks, roaches. Yeah, why am I the gross one? It really is you.

Yeah, making fun of my shack and stuff. The German cockroaches will eat each other and then die off as soon as the poison stays in their system. Cool. But the guy said, we have American cockroaches. Hell yeah, USA, baby. They're racist. He said, these are good old-fashioned American cockroaches,

and they don't want anything. They just want our food, and they just want our AC. And a good beer. If you would like Ali's money, call now and claim it. The number is 800-520-1067. Call now. Claim that money after this quick break. That is happening after this on KROQ.

If you're new to the show, we do this every morning around this time. Chance for you to take some of Allie's money. She hates parting with her money. That's why we call her El Cheapo. But she will give it to you if you know more about the news than she does. Five questions to prove that you know more than Allie is able to come up with the answer. She's got that pregnancy brain. She's got that early morning brain and everything else that's going on.

Plus the lady brain. Plus the herp. Plus the herp. You just admitted it. No, no, no. Just theoretically. No, she's got herpes as well. So she's got to think about that.

It's the rumor mill. It's the rumor mill you've confirmed and started by oversharing. No, no. So anyway, if you'd like to take Allie's money and not her herpes, I hope you... Is that supposed to convince us that you don't have it? No, no, no. Allie's got full-blown herpes, guys. That's the real deal.

I'm good. My wife already texted me after that conversation to say that the seven-year-old asked her, what are herpes and why does Allie have them? So that was a great back and forth with my family. Myra, good morning. Welcome to KROQ. Hi, good morning. How are you?

We'd love to give you $100 of Allie's money. She would hate to give it to you, but we'd love to give it to you. and all you have to do is answer some questions about things happening in the world and do better than Allie, and we will pay the people. And in this particular case, you are the people. Are you ready to win some money? I am ready. All right, everyone's rooting for you, so Allie's going to get the hell out of here.

And your round will officially begin in 3, 2, 1. Here we go. Allie knows the news. This membership club that has been around since 1955 and at one point had as many as 16 million members, you were probably one of them, is officially shutting down on September 15th. Which membership club is saying goodbye forever?

Sam's Club. Say it again. Sam's Club. Sam's Club. We go to question number two. Congratulations, we have a new world's ugliest dog. It's always a great competition. And which breed is the brand-new ugliest dog in America?

In the world, excuse me, in the world. What's that bald one called? What's the bald one called? A couple of different bald types of dogs. A greyhound? Greyhound. We've got a question number three right now. McDonald's has been putting together a pretty exciting collab happy meal

involving the Hello Kitty and what unlikely partnership? Hello Kitty and who is a collab for a new McDonald's Happy Meal? Ninja Turtles. Ninja Turtles. We go to question number four, and we will give you all of these answers. Apparently, there was an earthquake felt in Riverside County that registered at what number on that earthquake scale? What was the number of the shaker?

4.2. 4.2. Write that down. And final question right now. New footage being released of the crater that was left on the moon by what? Of course, this was a story that was developing for the last week, but now new footage is out there of the crater that was left on the moon caused by what? SpaceX.

SpaceX. All right. Let's bring Allie back in. You did decent. And I like it that you have no problem taking the money from a herpes victim slash pregnant lady. And that's cool because it means that you just won your $100. And I don't blame you for that. If you don't win the $100, don't worry.

We've got more stuff to give you today, like access to our endless summer kegger and passes to Just Like Heaven. All right, here we go. Allie is on the clock. Question one. Yep. This club that has been around since 1955 and at one point had as many as 16 million members is officially shutting down on September 15th. 15th. That would be Columbia House. Columbia House,

the CD club, where you used to be able to get something like 20 CDs for a penny. I had no idea they were still in business. I don't think anyone did. They do have a few DVDs still on their website. Oh, they do? Wow. We should get whatever we can get before they officially shut down. That is the correct answer. This woman guessed Sam's Club, so

not off to a good start. Allie is up 1-0 early, and I'm sure we will pay our proper respects to Columbia House later on today in the show, because it was something that I think many of us were a member of and i know that they tried to get you to buy that cds for the penny and then you were locked in to buy them at like the full retail price so if you didn't say if you would get the catalog you had to let them know that you don't want anything otherwise they would

automatically charge you for a cd every month right and then all of a sudden something would show up and then they'd be like thirty dollars full price and then all of a sudden you got one or two things and you didn't cancel and they were already in the profit i was right it was the one of the first set it and forget it kind of subscriptions that just raked in the money because people forgot. Question number two. Allie's up 1-0. We have a new world's ugliest dog.

Congratulations. What breed has given us the world's ugliest dog? I think it is a pug. She said greyhound, but the correct answer is a pug. An ug pug. It's whatever animal has a weird tongue that's always sticking out.

Sticking out. It looks like it's mid-stroke. That is the correct answer. It is a pug. And I think pugs usually, or some version of pugs. Or those Chinese crested, the one that don't have hair. Right, that's the one I think she was looking for. She was asking for the bald dog, but they usually switch back and forth.

But congratulations. And I know pug owners think that they're adorable and they're cute, but they're also very ugly. Well, they're usually pretty smelly and have breathing problems, too. We've got a question number three. Allie's up 2-0. McDonald's just announced a collab happy meal between Hello Kitty friends and who? What unlikely partnership with Hello Kitty? Yes, I did see this.

I think it's Godzilla. Wow, Allie is on one today. A tear. So much for that pregnancy brain, that herpes brain. She's gotten three in a row right. Looks like they canceled each other out. Godzilla and Hello Kitty joining forces in a place where only they could, which is a happy meal at McDonald's.

We go to question number four now. There was a shaker felt in Riverside County. Earthquake registered at what number? Oh, I have no idea. 3.4. Oh, damn. You are on it. Really?

She guessed 4.2. The correct answer is a three-fiver. Oh, nice. Off by a tenth of a point, so still pretty goddamn good. And we go to this final question. There is new footage now being released of the crater that was created on the moon. Oh, cool. As a result of what?

The rocket that crashed into it. More specific? The SpaceX rocket. Ah, that's what she said, SpaceX. Myra on the board, but it doesn't matter. Allie with a perfect. That doesn't happen very often. Almost a perfect five for five.

Woo-hoo, shaken. Oh, she's now grabbing her breast. That was weird. What a weird celebration. Sorry. Myra, thanks for playing. Sadly, what must you shamefully admit over the airways of K-Rock? Go ahead.

My name is Myra, and Allie knows the news. Tomorrow morning around this exact same time. Tomorrow morning at this time. Did you just turn your mic off on yourself? Yes, I did. You did. I tried to turn my own mic off. Subconscious.

I was, to be honest, Allie, after grabbing her boobs, I started gagging and retching, and I wanted them not to hear that on the radio. Just turn off all sound. So anyway, tomorrow morning around this time, another chance to take Allie's money. More show after Sombra on KROQ. KROQ, Klein Alley Show. If you're currently feuding with siblings, we need your stories later this morning

to get you into our endless summer kegger. Obviously, there's a big sibling feud happening with the Buss family about the Lakers, and that's been going on for a while, I would argue, the Lakers, which brought that family together. It's now tearing them apart at the very seams, and we realize that not all of us own NBA basketball teams, but that doesn't mean that we have not gotten

into massive fights with our siblings. A lot of people don't speak to them anymore. I have a couple friends. I didn't even know they had siblings, And then they'll be like, yeah, we don't talk anymore. And sometimes it is because of so-and-so's uncle died, left something to someone, said split it up among your siblings. I feel like it's the most common cutoff relationship. If someone dies and then people get in a fight over the will or the house or something like that.

But we'll get to your stories a little bit later and invite some of you to come hang out with us at the Endless Summer Kegger slash the Clamslam happening on September 3rd in Newport Beach. It's interesting you mentioned siblings because I received an email yesterday that brought up a very interesting question that I now, and I have to make an important decision. And I would like your advice. I don't know why I want your advice, but here's the email I received. Now, when we decided to have kids, we bought sperm. We picked a donor. Which was so stupid. I'll be honest, Allie.

We all offered you. I'm producing so much. I don't want sperm, I know. Producing so much. Dripping out my ears. The sperm you know beats the sperm you don't. And let's be honest, you've got a really potent show here. Omar was able to make kids, no problem.

Me, two of them. You would not be able to handle it if I had a child in my belly that was from you. Sure I would. But you would not be emotionally connected to that child? You wouldn't feel a need to maybe attend a birthday party or send a present? No, because it would be like, here you go. I'd sign something that says I've got a... So you can totally separate.

Oh, yeah. Interesting. so i and other couples will pick somebody they know or get it for free we chose we want complete anonymity we don't want to know the person we don't want to know what what other sperm they've donated anything like that i thought you had to pay extra if you wanted to know the person like they could give you more information about the more information but not the identity of the person but we did the person we chose when my kid is 18 he can contact that person if he wants to Sucks for that guy.

You want to make sure he was white, blue-eyed, and blonde, right? That is what Allie said. No. Allie said, give me the old Hitler special. I want the Aryan sperm. Yeah. No. We chose somebody who had the same background as Katie.

That's how we chose. Okay. It was somebody who had similar. Alcoholism. Was that? Irish, yeah. That's too important. Irish and French.

So we used the sperm to have our kid, and then we have this one, right? So we have one leftover. One sperm left? We have one vial left over. And the vial's full of them, right? It's got millions in there. Yeah, there's millions. There has to be a minimum of 10 million, I think, in order for, otherwise I get my money back.

Those all sit in a freezer somewhere. Yeah, they're being frozen, and I pay for the freezer storage. So I got the email yesterday, hey, it's time for renewal for your storage. What's that cost? Oh, it's like $300 or $600 a year, I can't remember. But it's like, I don't want to pay for it anymore because we're done. I don't want to use the sperm anymore. We're done making babies.

But you're not done, though. Yeah, I mean, technically, we're not done. We're in the process of being done. So if I sell it, I can sell it back to the sperm bank for half of what I paid. That's option one. So I spent a certain amount of money on the sperm. I can sell it back to them for 50%. And what will they try to do, resell it?

They'll try to resell it to the highest bidder, and they'll probably increase the price. So I'm wondering, what are the other options, right? Can I go on Craigslist? Yeah, you can definitely sell black market sperm. Do you put sperm on offer up? I'm sure Johnny would drink it. I'm sure bodybuilders want it. There's got to be something.

Yeah. Some other use, right? When you say you'd get half back for it, this is, give me an idea of what that really, what's the retail value for sperm? So when I bought the initial sperm, which is just the insemination sperm, I believe it was $1,200 per vial. And is it like racehorses where certain ones are worth more than others if they've won races or if they've done things in their life? No, but the other ones we bought. So we bought two additional ones that were IVF vials. Those were $2,200 each.

So that's the one that I have. You have an IVF vial. That was $2,200 when I paid for it. So I would get a check for $1,100 back. You've got to take that. I don't think you're going to do better than that. I couldn't imagine. You don't think I could get more for it if I sold it on OfferUp?

I mean, I'm giving this stuff away daily. Giving it away. I'm literally putting it in the trash. Yeah, and they're raising their prices. It's insane. So then when I called, I said, are there any other options? Can I sell it to somebody else or transfer the ownership of this vial to another person? They said you can, but it has to be somebody who has already bought that sperm and had a kid with that sperm donor.

How do you know how many times this guy's even donated? Like, are you able to, is this one of those guys? They know. Oh, they do? So I go, well, if I were to sell, so if I were to give it to somebody else or send it to somebody else, It would have to be somebody who already has a kid with that same sperm. So I say, how do you find those people? And she goes, well, you can put your kid on a sibling registry.

Oh, right, right, right. And I can put his name's Wesley. This is the donor number. I could have 57 half brothers. And then it can connect me with all of the people that have had a kid with that sperm donor. So I would see all these half Wesleys with pictures. And I can connect with the people who have that kid. We can all do meet-up groups if we want.

A couple things, though. You don't know if this was a one-off guy that was just hard up for some cash, needed to go ahead and finish into a little petri dish just to make some money. Just to make $100, right. Or if this was a guy that was like, hey. Because I believe once guys realize they're good at this and the money's good, they'll just keep churning. Well, I think that it's also a pride thing. Like, hey, look, I'm providing life to other people. But this guy, when he donated, I know he was in his 20s.

which is when most people want side cash for weed money sure of course but this guy also had clean bit like they're they did they test you and all this stuff but the question is should i give it to somebody else that probably needs it so you could donate it i could donate it donor donor right i could just donate it to somebody who's like hey we have a kid with this sperm donor but we need more sperm you want to give it to us and but it opens up this whole world of should i know how many other Wesleys there are out there? Should I know what all of his siblings are?

Are there one? Are there five? Are there five million? Do I want to be friends with the other half siblings? No, you don't. But once you get in that world, I feel like you've got to be careful because once you start down that path, you don't know where it leads. Exactly. And then you start finding out there's six others that were made from the same

sperm and they're all in jail for different things right now. Or do they all live in the same area? Are they spread out throughout the United States? You're opening up a whole can of worms. Or do I just take the money and rub. You got to take the $1,100 and call it a day. That's the right answer. I mean, the other thing you could do is, and someone pointed this out on the text line

as well, you could water that down, turn that one vial into about four vials. Right. Try to then, you know, just keep cutting it like a good drug deal. Just cut cocaine with baby aspirin. Just keep cutting it. And then I'll get people a taste before they buy it. Try this. Just a little taste.

But I think that if you've got guaranteed money and they're saying, we'll buy it back for half and you don't need it i would wait though listen here's the thing i know you have to make the decision now when you're so cheap you don't want to pay for an extra day yeah i have till september 14th to decide is this like i wonder if it's like storage wars where if you don't pay on time someone's just go in there and bid a dollar and leave with it i got the source a lot got a bunch of old baseball cards and this jug of jizz right but here's the thing they don't get they can sell it to whoever they want but i can't i think you're gonna mush yourself if you sell it too soon i know you're pregnant now i know everything's going well but don't you think you should hold it as

an insurance policy. Just until I'm holding it. Even if you have to move it to your own freezer? Well, and then how long do I wait for, right? Do I wait until both of them are 18?

No, wait. You don't pay that storage. Because what if one of them... Right. Oh, yeah, because can't you... Couldn't you use that to grow another one just to have spare body parts?

Sure. Who knows? That's a great idea. Body farming. Where's the Facebook group for that? We have to take... There's a lot of good suggestions

on the text line. 208, do all the other Wesleys wear tutus as well? I don't know. You should find that out. I would have to go to the Sibling Registry to find out.

I think they should cut you back a little bit of refund just for what you got in the first batch. That's all I'm saying. I got the best. All right, we've got to take a break. We'll get back in a moment

with your actual news and a fitting tribute for a club that we were all a member of that's now officially going away. We say RIP to Columbia House as a collective unit after this. Hey, Rock.

We are Klein Alley Show. We're going to check out what's happening in the world with the ADT News. Then a brand new hour of the show will officially begin. We've got tickets for you to hang out with us

at our endless summer kegger, also known as the Clam Slam, although no one around here will refer to it as that. But we all know what's up, and we've got your tickets coming up as we talk about sibling feuds happening in honor of what is happening with the Buss family and the Lakers. That to get to, plus another round of the dumb-off. But first, this message on the GOAT line before we get into your round of ADD news. Oh, and I'm fine in Ali's show.

Hey, I had an idea. You know, everybody wants to hear more from Ali's baby. She loves it. We all love it. What if we did like a crotch watch, 2026, where every maybe two or three weeks We check with the baby, see how it's doing, and, you know, you put a microphone down there for the quach quach, and, you know, we get updates from time to time. I think, you know, the audience wants it. Nope.

The show loves it. Nope. I know it's Allie's favorite thing to hear from her unborn child. It's not. Anyway, sweet. Allie has asked us to stop talking to her unborn baby inside of her womb, and I understand why that she would not want us to keep doing that. But I do think because you just asked a very interesting question, which is what should you do with all this extra jizz you have that you need to either decide if you should return it or pour it in the toilet or sell it in the dark web. Don't you think we should ask your child who's growing inside of you what he or she believes?

I think we're good. Crash watch. Whoever this baby is, I don't have meant them yet. They probably have a better sense of humor than you guys. Do you want to put the mic down there or should Omar just turn off the light? Sure, let me derp or derp. There it is. Hey, you're not doing it.

Do it. No. Come on, crotch, crotch. It's time for ADD News. Why are we wasting our time at this time? There you go. I'm just turning it up. Thank you, Omar.

Turn up the levels. Hey, Mommy. Don't sell my power juice. Give it to Grammy. She loves that stuff. Steve needs his medicine. Throat coat. All right.

Thank you. That's a beautiful message. He already knows his grandma's the throat coat. That's exciting. Let's put it all together. Awesome. Steve needs his medicine. Medicine.

And now here's your news. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. You probably didn't know it was still in business, but be sad that it's going away. Columbia House is shutting down after 70 years, 71 to be exact, in operation. It once dominated the music industry,

and at one point it had 16 million subscribers. They promised you a dozen CDs for a penny. You sent them a penny. They sent you all the CDs, and then a month later you're being charged 30 bucks for one CD, and you don't know why, It's because you've been roped into a monthly CD commitment, and then you have to go through archaic measures to undo all of that, most of which people just never did. So they made a lot of money.

But then they went, they started with tapes, then they went to vinyls, then CDs, then they got rid of the CDs and just did DVDs. I think I got into it twice in my life. I think I got into it for CDs and then again into DVDs, early DVDs. Well, now, even if you go to their website right now, and this is ending, I think they're stopping all new orders on September 15th. Shutting it down. But they ensured people that if you have a current subscription, you can still order. But there's only like 10 DVDs to choose from, one of which is the movie Paint, starring Owen Wilson, who plays a loose Bob Ross knockoff. Oh, really?

Did you even know this movie existed? I didn't, but the reality is anyone who is currently a subscriber or a member of Columbia House is unaware that they're currently a member. So this will be news to everyone. Yeah, but there's probably a few people that are like a hundred. There's not. There can't be. No? There just can't be. I find that impossible to believe.

Even my parents that are so technologically unsavvy, this is something that would be so far from the reality. Because I also think that that generation, they're actually the ones that are on top of everything. They're the ones that actually look at their... They balance their checkbook every month and check out their credit card statement and realize this is... No, but I mean somebody who's intentionally using it. No way.

Zero people. This is the best part of the day. You put all your cares away. Get ready for a smile on your face. It's just the right time and just the right place. The music you love, the movies you share, The things that make you care Keep your value high, we'll serve you so

Our relationship will grow and grow Columbia House Big enough to bring you all the best And it's your change at Columbia House Look for special Columbia House offers this month at wanted magazines, newspapers, and your mail. Columbia House Commercials for so long.

Yeah, that's... They had all the money in the world to buy this airtime. One person, man at a time Jingles used to be so long, too. This is a full minute of jingle. Jesus Christ. And it even has an ending. Was this one of those things where they were being subsidized by some sort of a cult?

Is it possible that this was Scientology or something was behind this? I never saw anything about that, but hey, you never know. I mean, at some point, how were they making money, to be honest? They were giving you that many CDs for a penny. Well, eventually, they weren't doing that well. I mean, I think everybody, they pledged that you, if you subscribe to this, you could develop a CD library bigger than the Library of Congress. Man, incredible.

I can't wait no one else signing their dogs up. I used to do that all the time. Yeah, I signed up my parents because I thought I was too young to get it. So I remember signing up and my dad. How old did you have to be? 18? I don't know, but I remember I was not of age. And my dad got a package and he's like, why do I have all these Pearl Jam CDs?

because they're cool dad give me those even the commercials it's so over dramatic because there's like couples that are crying and watching TV and just knowing that their life is made better because they have access to these incredible DVDs and

it just looked like it changed everyone's life and they're calling on their big ass phones to the call center and the lady's got a gigantic headset on and she's got that little bob haircut and she's smiling and it's just so nostalgic Columbia House R.I.P Now, we've heard about a lot of summer injuries, and I think this is the summer injury to end all summer injuries because this woman can't even do her job anymore.

Her hands are completely mangled and blistered for a reason that you wouldn't expect. This jewelry designer hasn't been able to work with her hands after they were severely burned. She tells Allison Hall it was all from making margaritas for a pool party. And we have to warn you, some of the images are graphic. So, did you know about margarita burn? She put them in the blender? That would be really stupid. No, it was from the limes.

This woman learned the hard way that making the popular cocktail, the margarita, can sometimes take a terrible toll. Not because she ended up with a bad hangover, but because her hands ended up like this. All of a sudden I had these big, huge blisters on my hands. It's called margarita burn. She squeezed 30 limes to make a batch of the cocktail. She says she rinsed her hands thoroughly, then went out in the sun at a pool party in New York. The next morning when I woke up, my hands were red and swollen. Then over a five-day period, her hands went from redness to this, to this, to this.

Oh, so this. And this news lady is very surprised. Hold on one second. How many people is margarita hand affecting? I know there was a big thing where avocado hand was taken over because no one knew how to properly take a pit out of an avocado, and they kept stabbing their hand trying to get that out. Apparently, this happens.

They covered it in an episode of The Pit, apparently. Margarita hand? Where somebody came in with margarita burn. Because, what, the lime makes the sun more powerful? I think it's the combination of all the raw citrus all over your hands, and then the sun, yeah, it can make your hands blister, and, I mean, it looks disgusting. Did you hear her?

It went from this to this to this. I heard the progression. It sounded pretty drastic. I mean, this is dramatic. To this, to this, to this. That could happen to you. Jesus Christ. TikTok is adding another feature, and I'm sure it's a new way to get scammed on TikTok.

It is a new money feature. They are exploring a way to send friends money via DM. So it's essentially like a Venmo or a Zelle that is built into TikTok. So if you're going to buy crap on TikTok shop or if you're going to DM friends and pay them, you can now do so within the app. And what could go wrong there? All right. Well, there's your news roundup. Things happening that you probably care about or maybe you don't.

The ADD news. You can go ahead and put away that Adderall for at least another hour. And then we get into a brand new hour of the show in mere moments after some Royal Otis. This hour, we invite you to come and get some margarita hands with us at our endless summer kegger. And much more. It all starts next right here on KROQ. This is the world famous KROQ. Good morning.

Welcome to your KROQ. It is just after 8 o'clock. It is Wednesday. We're still in the month of August, I believe. And we have tickets for you to come hang out with us as we say goodbye summer slash hello more summer. It's an endless summer kegger, unofficially known as the Clan Alley Show inaugural clam slam.

And it's happening at the Hyatt Newport. And the only way to get in is to win your way in. And a lot of people have been DMing us saying, hey, do I have to really try to call and win tickets on the radio or can I just go? and we're saying you have to sadly win tickets on the radio, which is, that's the rub right there. That's the rub, but that's how we have to do it.

Go to school. Deal with it. That's how we have to do it, but don't worry. You'll have lots of chances between now and the actual event to win your way in. It's going to be a good time. A lot of stuff we can't talk about on the air. Hey, you wouldn't want to go if everyone could go. That's right. It's very exclusive, but we'll invite as many of you as possible.

This hour, we're going to ask you why you are currently feuding with siblings and or what tore your entire siblings apart because it's happening with the Buss family right now. We'll hear your stories coming up later this hour. But in a moment, though, we will get into some clickbait as we solve the Internet's biggest riddles and mysteries once and for all. And we've learned a lot in clickbait. And some people say that clickbait actually does help them navigate their daily lives. It is stuff that sticks with you.

And it already changed Jake's life. That's right. I don't know which answer we're going to tackle today. Is it that the world has decided what their new favorite sexual position is? That is one of the possible ones we could answer. The Internet has come up with finally a conclusion, an answer, that I think that it was tearing the world apart. After all these years. But I don't know if we're going to get to that one today because there's also stuff that is annoying people that stay at hotels.

And you don't want to do this thing because it is now the new number one annoying thing that you are doing at hotels that is ruining everyone else's stay. I know what it is. We have that to get to and other things as well. So go nowhere. We'll do some clickbait after Franz Ferdinand on Carol Q. Internet designed for riddles and mysteries and two reasons and two reasons only. Clickbait and masturbate.

We can only do one of them on the radio. So it's time for Clickbait. Here we go. Give me this one for that. I know we teased a few different things, but let's go with this because if you do find yourself in a happy relationship, you are known as a, quote, happy couple,

there is still something that is happening in your relationship that is a telltale sign that you will end up divorced. So this is not a couple that is going through stuff, not a couple that's dealing with all of the obvious things that would be indications you're heading to divorce, but they have looked at a lot of, quote, happy couples. These are couples that appear happy

even when they fill out surveys about their own satisfaction in the relationship. They do pretty well, but there is something that is an indicator that the couple will still end up divorced if they have one thing in common with these other couples. What is it, Allie? One thing in common?

Well, there's something that they found that couples that were, quote, happy, but still ended up still ended up divorcing. And there was something that was an indicator that you could realize that you're in a, quote, happy relationship now, but you're still going to end up divorced. What is it? That is the question in clickbait today. God, I was going to say couples that were coordinating shirts or outfits, but I'm going to go with overposting couples. so couples that post too much on social media it's a dead giveaway that even if they're happy or they seem happy there's some reason why they feel the need to post all the time about their relationship and it's because there's something deep in the back of their mind going i don't

think it's gonna work i'm pretending a little bit and it catches up with you so the couples that are over posting about how happy they truly are and boy they look happy i mean you see them they're Always in some sort of turquoise water together. They're always getting photos taken of themselves. Or they're always, yeah, this is us having fun. This is us on our vacation. Love. One year, two year, three year.

Beautiful soliloquy. Totally. Love notes. Making up for something. You made me the man I am. Blah, blah, blah, blah. All right. Allie says they overpost.

That is the indication that they are heading to divorce. These are happy couples. But sadly, there is something that will determine whether or not they are heading to divorce. Of course, I guess breakup if you're not unmarried, but they specifically looked at happy married couples in this particular survey. Jake, what's the answer? I'm going to say they have opposite schedules. You know, you're happy at first and then you have time to yourself, but then you slowly drift apart. Okay.

Jake's schedules do not overlap, but you would think that would be the key to a happy relationship. I know, that'd be great because once you see each other, you're so happy. Bang time. Bang, bang, bang time. I remember when you were long distance with Katie for a while. Yeah, we would meet halfway to have sex in hotel rooms. It was great. It was fun, exciting.

You could go part, do your own thing. And then I could, yeah, have my own life and then be like, ooh, I miss you. Aw. Yeah, but then after a while, it just kind of drifted apart. I think when I talk to people that are divorced and they have like, oh, I have my kids on every other weekend or whatever, I think to myself, I mean, cool if there was some sort of a system for that for the relationship. Where you could only be with each other half the week? I'm married every other weekend, and then the rest of the time I'm not.

I think a lot of people do that, even though it's unofficial. Okay, well, I'm saying they should make it official. Every other weekend I'm not married when I take this ring off. Omar, what is the answer? Repeat the question again. Happy couples, people in happy marriages. Think about that for a second. Okay.

There is one thing that is an indicator that they will not stay married. stay married they will happy couples one indicator not stay married one indicator that's right all right one indicator is gonna be poor communication yeah i think communication is a key i think or feeling like you have to hide things yeah and also i think everybody during like the honeymoon period you don't really need to speak or anything i mean you might be you know really happy because you know you're getting your life together so there is a honeymoon period when you're married for you know hey what do they say the first seven years until you get that itch i don't think you really need a lot of communication because you already when you got married had

certain goals in mind but they kind of change and you don't communicate your uh that to your partner boom divorce town or you don't really talk much because you're having sex all the time and then years in you start really running out of things to talk about and you're like oh by the way i'm a flat earther you're like what where did that come from well omar was kind of dancing in the right land but um and that land is called divorce land but he didn't quite get there but they say that once you stop having conversations about the future omar's at the beginning it's a lot of oh it'll be great we'll have a family we'll get out there's a lot of talk about the future but when the future becomes the present and then you kind of go i don't really have another chapter figured

out you stop having those conversations and talking about oh we should go here on a trip one time oh it'd be fun to move here you start doing the day-to-day grind just to get through the day right the farthest you can plan ahead is like let's go to trader joe's right you're like can we do that on saturday i don't know what's gonna happen saturday but uh they say that couples that truly stop having any sort of conversation or discussion about the future whatever that looks like because the future is constantly shifting are the ones that are most likely heading to divorce so think about that for a second and when's the last time you've actually had that conversation about like what are we do we have any plans for this summer oh my god we're already

planning spring break of next year that's a good indication then you're probably going to stay together which is good because you're pregnant right now but i mean for other people think about that for a moment because that's what they found was a common link between all these couples that seemed happy on the outside but ended up hitting the splitsville and there was no conversation about like and i think part of it is not the conversation i think it's the deposit I think once you put a deposit down on a trip, you're committed. So you're like, I know we should probably end this thing, but we're not going to get our money back. That's why we should be like you and just plan fake trips.

Plan fake trips. Because then the planning solidifies it. Keep on going, baby. Or just go to Mexico all the time. There's your answer. We take a quick break. We're back in a moment with more show after this. In fact, if you are currently in a feud with your siblings, the buses are in a huge feud right now over ownership of the Lakers.

It has torn that entire family apart. And we are asking right now, why are you no longer talking to your siblings? What are you currently feuding about? Or what was the thing that completely ruined your relationship with your brothers and sisters? We'll get to your stories next. Reward one of you with some tickets to come hang out with us. At least a few of you, actually. Vanessa said we have a few tickets to give away.

So we'll give away multiple tickets to come hang out at the Endless Summer Kegger. And that will be after this on KROQ. I always find it weird when people will say things like, this is my sister and my best friend. I always find that very strange. I know Jake's got a sister that he's into romantically. but it's interesting how people sometimes have these very like i think intimate right i think the relationship i have with my sisters is mediocre at best i think the one you have with your sister is pretty normal you're jealous of everything she does because she does it better

than you and she's hotter than you and everything else she's had it easier than me had it easier than right and every in you think she's your mom's favorite and uh everything everyone goes out of their way to accommodate her right there's all that squeaky wheel gets the grease right got it So that's kind of a more normal situation. Then you've got the siblings in the Buss family right now. And they think about that. You're born into a pretty good life. Your dad owns the Lakers.

You pretty much know you're set for life with cushy jobs. I was looking over some of the many titles that some of the people in the Buss family held over the years. Thought they made up. Yeah. Like vice president of basketball inflation operations or something. Oh, Jesus. Like the guy's job was to inflate the basketballs. And it just didn't matter.

They were set. They were good. But then when it comes time to sell the team, there's a lot of fighting going on. And Jeannie wants to hold on to the ownership, the siblings want to sell, and I'm sure this happens in families all the time with things that are much less important than the Lakers. I mean, I guess take a regular sibling relationship that usually always has some rough patches, right? And then add millions or billions of dollars to that. It really, really amplifies any little problem into a massive problem. So as we are going to go ahead and talk about the Lakers situation, let's figure out what's going on with your siblings right now.

because I'm sure that in some ways you can relate and let's go ahead and give away some tickets to our endless summer kegger. Hello, Michelle, what's going on? Hey, I got a call from my younger sister. She was crying one time and she hadn't heard from my older sister all weekend after my older sister went on a blind date.

Like she went radio silent all weekend. So obviously we thought like she was killed or something happened, right? I go to her apartment. I show up to make sure she's okay. Knock on the door, the door is unlocked. i walk in and no she's just getting banged oh so you you were concerned you were concerned that uh that she was dead because it was a blind date and then never heard back from her it turns out it

just went so well that she had just been held up having sex for the last three days yeah yeah and it was a long weekend it was a holiday weekend so it was like four days and you walked in on that yeah unfortunately so you're upset because she didn't return any of your calls and just let you know that she's not dead yeah and like i don't mess with her anyway but i do anything for my little sister and when she calls me crying i just jump into action right yeah well that's interesting she jumped into action too apparently so it turns out they were everyone was in action that weekend sounds like it was a busy weekend in your family uh christine on k rock we're talking about sibling rivalries and or sibling feuds how did they start where are they at now and does

anyone hate them hate each other more than the bus family siblings seem to hate each other at What's going on, Christine? Hey, good morning. Good morning. Yes, my brother took my dad's inheritance and purchased a bunch of guns and fentanyl and then started selling them out of his apartment. Oh, my God. And now he's in prison.

Oh, okay. So let me ask you, so the inheritance was left just to this brother. This is the thing you hear about a lot with siblings. They will figure out a way to either forge documents or get them at the end, sign it over to me. Let's cut this sister out. So he got all the money in the inheritance, right? No, he only got his share, but he lost his daughter. He gave up custody of his daughter, bought all the guns and fentanyl,

and then just created a makeshift pawn shop out of his apartment to sell everything illegally, and then went on the run, and the SWAT caught him in Washington. So you don't talk to him because you feel that he spent his inheritance money in a bad way? Well, yes, of course. How'd you spend your hair? How'd you spend your hair? Did you invest it in a bond or something? I used it towards my online business.

I used it towards my house, my truck, my kids. I own my own house now. All right, all right. And it's funny because the way my dad died, I actually called you guys. And when he died, he was the one that was eaten by his cats. Oh, he was eaten by his cats? Yes, I remember talking to you. Damn, that's right.

We're trying to prove the point that cats are evil. This is my dysfunctional life. So your dad was eaten by his own cats. After he died. Well, we don't know. We don't know. It was after he died. He wasn't eaten alive.

That doesn't happen. Once again, they could have started a moose bush in the foot while he was still living. They do like to torture their kills. Yeah, and then came back. It was kind of Carmen. Because my dad, when I grew up, he used to play video games on the computer running over cats with the lawnmower. Oh, it's karma, bitch. They knew.

Yeah, they knew. Yeah, you start torturing cats on your little video game system. They'll come back and get you. I know it's upsetting, but at least it came back to bite him in the ass, and now he's in prison, you know? Well, yeah, I'm sorry that you're feuding with here. That's a rough run of things right there. I mean, I don't know how we don't invite this woman to our endless summer keg

or stories like that. Hey, we all spend our lottery winnings differently, right? You say hi to Nicole. We're talking to people that are now currently feuding with or no longer speak to siblings. The Buss family, probably not going to speak to each other again after this whole Lakers ordeal. What's going on with you, Nicole?

Well, you guys should have had me go first because now my story's going to pale in comparison. I don't know. Unless your dad was eaten by an animal, we don't care. Basically, eight years ago at Easter, my two younger sisters, my youngest sister, her baby daddy showed up drunk and roid raging to Easter and assaulted my husband.

Oh, so you had a physical fight at your Easter celebration. Yeah, and, you know, and I found out I was autistic a year ago, so it makes sense now why, like, why I was just so, like, deer in the headlights, like, this is supposed to be a safe space. Like, what's going on? Yeah. Oh, how do you know he was roid raging as opposed to just regular raging? Well, first of all, he was unusually buff.

unusually buff which you're like yeah he didn't do that naturally um and basically after he left um basically after my husband called the cops and he left he my husband had to call the cops so he could just leave i was like he was acting like he was more than just drunk because he i mean it was obvious he was drunk and i was like dude he was he's acted more like he was unroyed and she goes well he was it's no big deal okay well i'd like to know a better way to celebrate jesus's resurrection i think that's how he would have wanted it yeah he died for our roids everyone knows maybe he was road raging that's how he came back to life uh david i'm k rock we're talking about uh siblings you're no longer speaking to them something happened a big rift you were getting

along and now you're not and this is happening with the bus family right now as a result of the lakers and ownership and everything else what's going on with you yeah this season going on for about a year and a half now so my brother and sister they live in a trailer park with their wives and their husbands and their four alien kids. So what it is, they're trying to kick my dad out of this house because he's old. They want to put him in a home so they can take over

his house so they can be free. They don't help me out taking care of him. They just want to get rid of him and put him in a home so they can take his house, do whatever they want to it. And the fuse has gone off for a year and a half. And you're the only guy

stepping up, standing up for your dad going The guy's got a house. Let him live in his house, right? Because that's usually what ends up happening. It's a very... Old people want to stay in their damn house. I'll stay in my house. I built this goddamn house.

And then you got some sibling that's hard up for cash. They're like, let's go ahead and throw him in the home and sell this thing. Get some quick money. So I can get out of the trailer park. Right. I get it. I mean, but David, you're right on this one. And that sucks because it's two against one.

The bus family is probably dealing with this exact situation. Same thing. Mary the Ninja. Ah, Mary. Hey, good morning, Sweet Divots. Sweet Divots, Mary the Ninja. What's going on with you? My brother won't talk to me anymore

because I told him that his girlfriend at the time wasn't the one. And he won't talk to me anymore. That ended the relationship? Is she still with that girlfriend? Yes, they actually got married. Oh, okay. So you were wrong on that one. Mary, you were wrong.

It's one of your ninja instincts is not predicting the future. Yeah. Well, that's why I never give anyone my honest feedback if they're in a relationship. Because if I'm like, look, you've got to go ahead and cut ties. This person sucks, and then they end up getting married. They'll always remember I said they suck. Yeah, but what if they genuinely suck, and then maybe later they get divorced, and you're like, what if you had told them 10 years ago? People don't want to hear it.

That's a bad situation. I know people want honest feedback, and I know that they want to hear what do you really think, but you're in a bad spot. It's not what I really think. What do you really think? And then you just go, keep your eyes open. And there's something going on right now with a friend and someone. I know it's not going to end well, but they're happy, and I'm just not going to say anything. Is it me?

It's you. Well, I appreciate your honesty. All right. Well, there's a lot to talk about. Not with siblings, because apparently no one's talking to their siblings. So we'll come back and invite one of you, at least, to our endless summer kegger after Dominic Fyke on camera. All right. We've got to wrap up this conversation, because we have more stuff to get to.

And we have your passes for Just Like Heaven coming up in less than 20 minutes here on KROQ. but we have an endless summer kegger to get to. Andy, you've been patiently hanging out on hold, and you wanted to share with us why you no longer speak to your siblings. Go ahead. Yeah, so for my 21st birthday, she slipped a pill into mine and my brother's drinks,

and then while I was passed out on the toilet throwing up, she tried to sleep with my friends that were at the party, and then when I woke up, I found out that she had taken my money and all my gifts, and yeah. This was your sister, your blood sister? yeah well half sister half sister ah it's a bad half i thought i was being nice inviting her to the party you invite your half sister to your birthday party she decides to drug you then

steal the presents and try to sleep with everyone yeah and then we get her can we get her at the kegger by chance is she available it's truly an endless summer for this lady he's reformed oh she's reformed so then are you reconnected i mean it's like if they change their ways then And, you know, she said, sorry, I drugged you that one time, but I'm doing fine now. I hope she is. No, you don't speak anymore. Oh, okay, you don't speak anymore. All right, Allie, we heard from a lot of people that are in a similar bus situation.

This is just that the buses are always arguing about things like this, too, drugs and trailer parks, I'm sure. Which one was your favorite? I don't know. I feel, I mean, obviously a big fan of Mary the Ninja just because she's a semi-regular to the show. But of all of the situations we heard about right there, any of the siblings that try to cut out the other siblings from the will, that's always the big one. The guy, David, who's siblings. The trailer park guy. Trailer park situation.

I do feel bad about that. That guy's a nice guy. He's trying to stand up, let his dad stay in his house. I mean, I feel like. He's the only one contributing. Vanessa, reach out to some of those fine people we just chatted with off the air and see who can make it to our endless summer kegger. We'd love to have those people out there. And that sister that was doing all the banging.

Yeah, get that sister that was doing the banging. We want the banging, sister. Can you blame us for that? Seems like a good call, right? Yeah. Back in a moment, we have ADD news to get to, and then we have your passes. So you can go to Just Like Heaven, which is this Saturday. The Strokes, LCD Sound System, and many others.

And we have those tickets coming up after this quick break on KROQ. It's too bad our conversation about sibling rivalries has already ended, because a little bit late on the text line, someone said they just found out this morning that their parents and siblings have a separate group chat that they are not involved in, and they're planning a trip without them. Oh! That is a rough way to figure that out. 208, thanks for sharing.

Sadly, you've also... That person probably sucks. Also missed out on our... You also got in too late to get in on this, so you're missing out all over the place. You're out of this chat, too. I'm sorry. Meanwhile, 562 on the text line wants to tell the Odo queen

that they're bummed out this morning because they missed their odometer milestone of 100,069,420. They were going for the... They missed it, and they were so mad because they couldn't wait to take a picture and share it with you, but now you'll never, ever get that again.

It's tough because in your mind you go, that's going to happen in five miles. I've got to look. I've got to get my camera ready. I've got to do it. And then it passes by. You just go back and autopilot. It happens to everybody.

It does. Everyone's sad about it. No one has ever looked at their Odo and said, damn, I missed it, except Ali. We will get into a brand new hour of the show in moments after this ADD News. The first thing we do is get you passes to Just Like Heaven this weekend,

Brookside at the Rose Bowl. You'll be seeing many bands there, including this one. So, The Strokes and many others in your future if you are the 20th caller just after 9 o'clock and again at noon, 3 and 6 on KROQ. Right now, though, your news. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News.

The VMA Award nominees were released, and of course there are a bunch of pop stars that lead the nominations, like Madonna and Taylor Swift and Sabrina Carpenter, etc. But there is an interesting twist this year. After 35 years, they are getting rid of the rock category at the VMAs. Best Rock is no longer a category. Columbia House, and now this! Man, what a double punch to wake up to this morning. I know, it's rough.

But rock music, they say, doesn't have enough artists anymore to fill the category. What is considered a rock artist? So just so you know, Omar, last year, the nominees for Best Rock included Coldplay and Evanescence and Twenty One Pilots and Coldplay won. So I think they were like, if Coldplay is winning the Rock Awards, maybe we just need to end it. I don't even think Chris Martin would be. I mean, he even says like, we're kind of, we're barely, he's like, he says we're like yacht rock. But here's the thing, though. They are continuing the category Best Alternative.

Yes, they are. So everything's just going to be grouped into that. Right, so every band you just mentioned that was in the nominees for best rock... Would be in the alternative category. Right, you move 21 Pilots and Evanescence over there. It's the same thing. But there are a lot of great rock bands still out there. I don't know what they're thinking.

Queens of the Stone Age? Well, I couldn't argue that's alternative, too. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, we play them on K-Rock. I think because of that guy from ZZ Top that died, they just decided, let's just get rid of the whole category. Greta Van Fleet is probably the only modern-day rock band I can think of at the top of my head. Even there, they're alternative. That's a rock band.

That is a rock band. If you ask Dave Grohl or Rage Against the Machine anything Tom Morello's done, what kind of band are you in, they're going to say a rock band. You're going to say K-pop. Like Mastodon, right? K-pop. They're all saying K-pop. That's where the money is.

The nominees for Best Alternative this year are Geese, MGK and Fred Durst, Noah Khan, Olivia Rodrigo Somber Tame Impala and Twenty One Pilots So even those nominees are confusing And that's for which category?

That's for Best Alternative Alternative This year Olivia Rodrigo is in that category Huh Which a lot of people would argue

she's a pop artist No, no, no You gotta listen to the album I agree with this But when Olivia Rodrigo first came out and I listened to her music I was like

Oh, this is more alternative or rock based But because she's pop culture-y and because she's got this kind of like certain vibe to her, it became so mainstream that it became pop. You get to this

weird world where, you know, it's the typical I can't believe we're giving Beyonce country awards. Everyone gets all caught up. If the person was this genre, known for the genre, can they genre jump? Yeah, and people have. I mean, Taylor Swift's genre jumped and so did Beyonce.

And, I mean, didn't MGK used to rap or some crap? He rapped and he was a rock star. But no wonder they're getting rid of categories. Because all these artists are in different categories, for real. Well, I think the artists want to bend the genres, right? They don't even want to be put into a genre. They just want to be artists.

They all say the same thing. I don't want to be defined by something. I just want the award. I just want the award and the checks. So sell some merch. The new Air Force fitness test has just been implemented. Let's see if any of us could pass some of the new requirements. We couldn't even pass the physical fitness test for elementary school last year.

Didn't we try that and not do well? That's true. We did try that. That was like a year ago. I think Johnny was the only one that killed me. Johnny did it, and we all had trouble. And then push-ups, sorry. I carried because Jake cheated on the running thing, and he delayed all of us, so I had

to make up for what he lacked. Yeah, we all were able to run fine. Yeah, Jake had that problem. Because we had to run a mile, I think, in eight minutes and 20 seconds or something like that, and we were all doing great with it. I think we all ran at like seven miles an hour, and then Jake was just kind of flopping around. Right.

When you're flapping. Yeah, because you have those giant jugs you have to lug around. It's hard to ratio in the boobies. Yeah, they didn't do that. Most of those young kids don't have giant boobs like Jake does. So in this, you have a choice. You can either do a two-mile run or you can do a 20-meter high aerobic multi-shuttle run. That's where you go back and forth between two different points.

And there's beeps at each point. And then the beeps get faster. You have to run faster and faster. That sounds terrible. Yeah, we had that option in school where we could either run the mile or we could do that. It was called the pacer. My daughter's going to do both. Really?

Well, good. The pacer was the worst. Kids are getting too fat these days. That's a good idea. It's rough. But the requirements kind of vary based on your age. So, like, the slowest that, say, a 35- to 39-year-old man could do to pass would be 21 minutes and 16 seconds for two miles. 21 minutes, two miles.

That's just under an 11-minute mile. That's to make which, what branch of the military is this? This is the Air Force. But that's, you only get certain points. It's a run, it's in a plane. But you also get a point total. So, like, if that's your least strong category, but you can do a ton of push-ups, you'll get more points there. Like, in order to get 50 points, which is the max, for men in that age range, you would have to do it in 14 minutes.

So, that's a 7-minute mile. Yeah. So, you can get more points and score better and be elite status if you can do it better. Is skee-ball on the list here or no? No, skee-ball's not on there. You also could complete a full minute of standard push-ups or two minutes of hand-release push-ups. And then for core, there's 60 seconds of sit-ups or two minutes of cross-leg reverse crunches or a third option of a timed forearm plank.

So of these new goals, I guess, how many of us could make the Air Force? Zero. You know, I went to an air show over the weekend, and they had all of these. They had an army set up. They had the Navy set up. They had the Air Force. And they all had examples of the fitness test. Is that the one in Camarillo?

Yes. You went to that? I did go to that, yeah. You are wide enough. Yeah, it was very MAGA of me to go there. There was a lot of Steve Hilton for Governor shirts there. It was a great time. There were a lot of planes to look at.

And there was a lot of fun stuff. There was good funnel cake. But yeah, there was a setup for the Army, the Marines, the Navy. and they all had like, this is how much you should be able to bench press. This is how,

they had like a deadlift thing with like 245 pounds on it and you can try and lift it. I thought they were lowering the standards because not enough people were signing up. Yeah.

So they had to make it easier to get in. Yeah, well, they also had a pull-up bar and then they were helping people. Oh, really? Up the pull-up bar.

You know, the air show I go to is the In-N-Out by LAX. That's my air show. Well, they don't do cool tricks like they did at this one. But I can tell you one thing, they're not trying to see

how many push-ups or pull-ups you can do. If you're wondering, my wife did leave with an army pamphlet. Oh, she's interested in signing up? She's interested in joining

the army. Is she going to be all she can be? I think she will until she realizes that it's hard. Yeah. But she did leave saying,

you know, I also could do administrative work. And I was like, you won't do that either. Right. Klein, I know you're dealing with a roach issue

in your place, which is different than your lice issue and your skunk issue, but there's a new problem that could plague your home. I don't have a skunk issue with an...

Oh, that's not true. I do. Now you can potentially deal with beetles, fig beetles. If you are seeing those big, shiny, green beetles buzzing all over L.A., it's not just your imagination. Those ones are crazy because those ones have no flight path. The big, shiny ones, the green ones. And they fly right into you, and they're loud as hell, too. And they are, they're all like, we always say like.

They seem drunk. Yes, it's different than the cracked out. I thought they were blind. I think that may be it. Those are June bugs I thought were blind. These things, I know what they look like. They look like. They're like greenish, shiny beetles.

Those are the kind of thing that Jake would collect and put in a jar in his office. Have you seen The Mummy? Yeah, in the movie The Mummy, those ones. These things fly all over, and they will fly right into your face. Thank you, Vanessa, for giving us some context there. I think they're in a special in The Mummy. There's a whole Beatles scene. She loves The Mummy. She's a big fan of The Mummy.

With Brendan Fraser. These are called fig-eater beetles, and they're becoming more common in Southern California. The beetles are about an inch long, and August is their peak season. experts say their large bodies and relatively small wings make them clumsy in the air often crashing into people good news is they don't bite and they're not considered pests the beetles mostly eat decaying fruit and their larvae help break down compost if one wanders inside your house experts recommend gently moving it back outdoors it's not gonna happen to my place i don't know how you guys feel about this but they're pretty common in rancho during the summer

and uh i had a friend over who was not afraid of bugs or any kind of animals so he trapped two of We tied strings to them And we flew them like kites Why don't you film that dude Give us some content I should have I'll get them down here And see if we can do that again

Wait so you tied a little tiny string around their bodies To his leg To one of his legs It's pretty exciting to see Those things are fun It didn't just rip its leg off I don't know what he did Get into a brand new hour of the show right now

And the choice is yours You want passes to Just Like Heaven or a kite made out of a bug that Omar will send you? A bug kite. I want a bug kite. Call 20-800-520-1067. Call now, win next. This is the world famous K-Rock. Good morning.

It's Wednesday. It's Klein Alley Show. In your ear holes where we belong or perhaps you are deciding to watch the monstrosity before your very eyes on YouTube. We are streaming live there right now. Don't believe us? Go ahead. Check it out. K-Rock's YouTube every morning.

You can see Klein's purple shirt. It's not a goddamn purple shirt. It's a blue shirt. Everyone knows it's blue. If it's not purple, it's definitely mauve. It's nothing other than blue. It's not mauve at all. It's blue.

It's puce. It's a goddamn blue shirt, and Allie tried to gay it up. I walked in today. She goes, oh, you got a purple shirt. That's nice. And then, of course, Jake. It's definitely not blue. Also, there's nothing gay about purple.

It's the color of kings. It's super gay, Jake. Gay kings. A lot of sex with other men. Yeah, so anyway, it's a goddamn blue shirt. If you don't believe me, you can go to YouTube and check it out right now. And what we're learning is Allie's colorblind because she's getting into an entire fight with her wife over a couch that they've had for 10 years. The couch is green.

And the wife said, I don't like this gray couch. And Allie said, it's a green couch. And then the wife said, no, no, I would never agree to live with a green couch. And Allie said, well, you have been for the last decade. Yes, it's been an ongoing fight to the point where we are showing pictures of the couch to everyone we know. We're uploading pictures of the couch to AI to confirm the color of the couch. What did AI tell you? Well, Katie is the one that put it.

What did AI tell you it is? What did AI tell you? It said it was gray with taupe undertones, which is not true. Right. It's a green couch. You know it's a green couch. I've been to Allie's house before. Out of context, I asked you this morning, I said, what color is my couch?

And what did you say? Ugly green. You said green. I said ugly green. And I was, when we were talking shopping couches, I was like, well, the couch we have now is like a forest green. And Katie was like, excuse me? and we got in a fight about the color of our couch in front of a total stranger.

Allie thinks her couch is green, my shirt is purple. But listen, YouTube, you know what's going on. You can check it out now. I would never wear a purple shirt here. That's Jake's move. Everybody's saying more of a plum. It is. Everybody's not saying that.

It's purple. It's like a blue-purple combo. It's goddamn blue. It's about periwinkle, whatever that color is. It's not periwinkle. It's the color of the mummy beetles. Just regular eggplant. It's not eggplant.

Eggplant. Lavender. I agree with lavender. Yeah, it's a bit of a lavender. Five, six, two said lilac. And no one knows colors. I'm taking the shirt off. No, it's a nice shirt.

I don't want you to not wear it anymore. No, I'll take it. I wear a black t-shirt every day here, a white t-shirt. One day I put on a goddamn blue shirt and it's become a whole thing now. No, if Jake says he wants it, that should be a dead giveaway that it's purple. Jake, it's yours. I'm done with it. Hey, Janelle?

It's Janelle. Purple? Is that what you said? God damn it. You are the 20th caller. We will see you at Just Like Heaven. You got passes this weekend. Brookside Rose Bowl.

Congratulations. Oh, my God. That's so amazing. Have a great time there. And if you would like to, you know, bring someone because we got two passes for you. All right. Thank you so much. Enjoy.

Thanks for starting your day with us at KROQ. Greatly appreciate you. Oh, thank you. Okay. Goodbye. Allie, this hour on the show, another round of the dumb off. Yep. I've got some questions ready.

I'm still working out the kinks, but should all be ready to go. don't be nervous vanessa you got this i don't know if i do against me in this round of the dumb it's not born i don't look like barney you mother effer it is barney purple okay rock we recline alley show getting to another round of the dumb off in moments so today it's vanessa versus me place your bets in case you are keeping track or you don't care ali lost her round yesterday against omar which means she's moving on the dumb off and of course johnny the odds on vegas favorite for a three-peat in the dumb off is moving on as well so we'll figure out who is the third person to be competing

against the other two dumbest on the show. This is all our way of saying, welcome back to school. Let's figure out who's the dumbest in here. Although people say that we don't necessarily need the dumb-off to decide who's the dumbest after a week of Klan putting olive oil in his ears to try to remove wax and arguing

over ice cream cakes. This person says that I may have done something even dumber. Well, listen, this message is going to make me, I'm infuriated even listening to this because apparently there's more to the ice cream cake saga than we even thought, Allie. Sweet divs, uh, Klein, I got bad news for you, um, this whole frozen cake debacle, ice cream cake thing might be worse than, uh, you think it is. Um, all the grocery stores in my area, they have, like, a separate freezer where they keep, uh, like, all their gluten-free stuff.

And I don't know why they keep it frozen, maybe because it's not purchased as often, but, um, yeah, there's a high possibility you bought a gluten-free cake. I mean, frozen, you know, freezer-burnt cake is bad enough, but I mean, the possibility that she also had a gluten-free cake, like, that's what I guess people would like celiac or anything, but gluten-free is trash. Like, give me all the gluten, please. Yeah, I love gluten. I am a candy cow. Thank you, sir.

I'm hands down. That's my favorite, my favorite food category is gluten, and sadly, there's a chance. They need to make that, you know how it's tough with, like, the non-alcoholic stuff? Right. They don't make the labels clear enough. This is with gluten-free stuff. So I need to make it crystal clear. This is why today we've got the metaglasses charged up.

I will be going back to the scene of the crime, and I will be demanding answers because they hung up on me when I called to speak to the people and let them know. I'm convinced that a lot of this alcohol-free stuff is being sold accidentally. We keep seeing near-beer sales are at an all-time high, and alcohol-free vodka is dominating. And all of it is because people are being confused. They're intentionally confusing us. and that's what happened with this ice cream cake situation. I bought a goddamn ice cream cake out of a freezer.

Now that he mentions the gluten-free thing, I think it was because it really tasted weird. It sucked. It sucked hard and there was no indication. Everything about that would have said ice cream cake. When I put it out, all you guys thought it was ice cream cake. Because you told us.

That's why we thought that. Because it looked like it, Allie. But you also get confused really easily. You do. Yeah, you can't read. You got five-hour energy that was for sleep, according to you, because it was purple, like your shirt. People-eater to me.

It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people-eater. One-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people-eater. A one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people-eater. Sure looks strange to me. The shirt is blue. The goddamn shirt is blue. You've got to change your shirt before you go argue about the ice cream cake. No one's going to take you seriously.

The tag said blue. I said, do you have any blue shirts? There's no color tags on shirts. It does not say it's blue. What kind of special store are you shopping at? It says the size and then the color. Yeah. No, it doesn't.

I'll bring the tag in tomorrow. Okay. It's blue. Why don't you just stop fighting? I said to the guy. Just admit it. I said, hey, you got that shirt in other colors? He goes, we just have blue.

No, he said, we actually just have blue. Because you were in West Hollywood. It was not West Hollywood. I bought this in the Valley where people buy blue, Allie. We're going to take a quick break. When we get back, Vanessa, who claims she's gotten zero questions right so far in the dumb-off, will be battling me. I don't know the questions. Allie, you want to give us a teaser before the break or no?

I'm not giving you any hints or teasers. No. You didn't give us any teasers. The dumb-off. Hey, 310, thanks, Clyde, for repping the Dodgers blue today. You're absolutely welcome. Pleasure. It's more like the Colorado Rockies.

All right, relax. I want your purple shirt. When we get back, the dumb-off. I know you thought this last thing was the dumb-off. This was just the prelude to the dumb-off. That will officially start next. Teachers, we need you after this. Everybody find Allie's show.

Vanessa's in the studio. Allie's been pondering these questions. She will be delivering in a moment for another round of the dumb-off. The dumb-off. The dumb-off. All right, get your pencils out, I guess. Vanessa, do you have a pencil? I got a pen.

All right. Because no mistakes. Just kidding. Vanessa's very concerned about the dumb-off. I think that's Vanessa's biggest fear in life is being considered dumb. Because she's not dumb. I'm just bad at spelling. Bad at spelling and speaking.

Both of you kind of are. Right. Doesn't mean we're dumb. Just means we're different. Apparently, Klein doesn't know his colors, according to the text line. All right, well, we all have our problems. I will tell you there are no color questions. Thank God.

I could have asked, what is the shirt's color? It would have been a really tough thing to answer. It looks like a gray-blue. Well, as someone pointed out, I love your Lakers shirt, Klein, but where's the logo? It's not a Lakers shirt. It's a goddamn Blue Dodgers shirt. Regardless, it doesn't matter. Ali's got seven questions here.

Rules of the dumb-off remain the same. We'll write down our answers, get through the question portion of it, play a song, come back with answers. Let's see if you're smarter than we are. whenever you're ready to kick off this round of the Dumball. All right, you ready? Yes. Okay, question one. Two brothers are on a road trip.

Brothers or brothers? Brothers. One of them gets diarrhea. Spell diarrhea. Oh, my gosh. Great question, Allie. I was waiting for a spelling one. This is great.

Okay. Question number two. If you have... Is that my way to move on? Yeah. If you have three, you have three. If you have two, you have two. But if you have one, you have none.

What am I? What? Stupid crap. One more time, please. If you have three, you have three. If you have two, you have two. But if you have one, you have none. What is it?

Or what am I? I'm going to change the question now. Either one works. What am I? A burly lesbian asking dumb questions. That's what you are. Fine. What is it?

Stupid crap. Question number three. Assholes. This traditional Colombian dish often contains a mix of beans, rice, arepa, chorizo, plantain, chicharron, avocado, and beef. Hold on. Hold on. I know this one. This is not dumb off stuff.

That was question three. This is common knowledge about culture, which is part of intelligence. Say the question one more time, please. This traditional Colombian dish oven contains a mix of beans, rice, arepa, chorizo, plantain, chicharron, avocado, and beef. Same answer as question one, diarrhea. Oh, my man. You're not wrong. I know.

It is salad. I know. I'm writing that again, giving that answer twice. This is BS, and you're giving Vanessa questions that she knows. I would never do this with a dumb all. All right, question four. A box is five inches long, two inches wide, and three inches high. Ah!

What is the volume of the box? Three, two, what? This box is five inches long, two inches wide, and three inches high. What is the volume of the box? Question number five. Four girls are in line to buy smoothies. Lacey is behind Stacey, but not last. Casey is in front of Macy.

Stacey is directly behind Casey. Who is at the end of the line? I need to see this visually. I'll repeat the question. That's an easy one. Four girls are in line to buy smoothies. That's not about Colombian beans. I got that one.

Lacey is behind Stacey, but not last. Casey is in front of Macy. Stacey is directly behind Casey. Who is at the end of the line? There is no line. That line is going to get snorted up by Vanessa. That's the answer. And then finally

Mark, shelf, end, and worm Can all be added to the end Of which word to make four Different compound words Sorry, one more time That's an easy one Hold on, you're only giving us six questions? Is that six questions?

Where am I? Oh my god Oh yeah, yeah, I'm sorry I skipped over one You're gonna win again Mark, shelf, end, and worm can all be added to the end of which word to make four different compound words?

Easy. Okay? What? Easy. Just write it down, Vanessa. Moving on. Mark, shell, and not worm? Yeah.

Mark, shell. Yeah, you got it. Mark, shelf, end, and worm can all be added to the end of which word to make four different compound words? Your final question. No, I had many options here. I skipped one.

Thank you. Jesus Christ. Your final question. Jesus. In which play does the following line appear? Oh, it doesn't matter. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. A rose by any other thorn.

Oh, really? Are you correcting me? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. In which play does that line appear? Jesus. Those are your questions. You're not still trying to figure out how to spill diarrhea. Okay.

Well, we're going to play the song. We'll come back with the answers. How do you feel you did? Well, there's a couple I have blank still. Okay. Two and three primarily. but I think I did alright. Vanessa seems... How do you feel

Vanessa? I definitely got three wrong. But you gave her some softballs so we'll come back with the answers in a moment it's the dumb off, testing intelligence we think and we come back with the answers next. How do you think you did results after this

on KROQ Man, there's a lot of stuff going on behind the scenes here at KROQ as we try to get to the conclusion of round three of the dumb off I mean I know I didn't do great but I hope I did better than Vanessa so I don't have to move on and deal with this again but um Vanessa's got wow you got so much stuff written down on your page man oh man all right uh Ali whenever you're ready to take us through the question answer round

question answer round uh it's the dumb off who is Vanessa versus me today to figure out who on The show's The Dumbest, and who will be moving forward to battle Ali and Johnny in another round of Dumb. Yeah, I mean, day one, it was a close battle between Johnny and Jake. Yesterday was a not-so-close battle between me and Omar. A lot of people wondering why a finalist in the Dumb Off is coming up with the questions for the Dumb Off. But that's besides the point. Can't even count to seven, we learned. So, whenever you're ready, let's go ahead and break down these answers.

Question number one. Two brothers are on a road trip. One of them gets diarrhea. Spell diarrhea. Climb what you like to go first. It's a trick question because no one knows how to spell diarrhea. And that's kind of the standard thing. But, I mean, I have a D-I-A-H.

There's an H in there somewhere. Yeah. D-I-A-H-A-R-E-E-E-E. There's no way you think that's how it's spelled. Come on, give me a real answer. That's what I wrote down. You think there's seven E's in diarrhea? D-I-A-H-R-A-E-E-A-H.

Okay. I'm not even going to write the rest of that down. Vanessa, what did you write? D-I-A-H-E-R-I-A. Diarrhea. Okay. Neither of you correct. No one knows how to spell it.

That's the right answer. So many possibilities. Vanessa spelled diharia. Okay. And you spelled diahari. Yeah. Well, whoever knows what it is. It is D-I-A-R-R-H-E-A.

Diahria. Question number two. I have a bunch of R's. If you have three, you have three. If you have two, you have two. If you have one, you have one. What is it? This is question two.

We'll start with you, Vanessa. What did you write down? A circle? Why did you come up with that? I don't know. You got three, you got three. If you got two, you got two. If you have one, you have none.

Oh, I see what you're doing because it's a zero. Yeah, so instead of saying zero, I put a circle. Yeah, not correct, but an interesting answer. What did you write down, Klein? I said an X. An X? Like an ex-wife or an ex-girlfriend. Oh, you're trying to be funny?

No, I'm not trying to be funny. I was thinking to myself, if you have one, you have none. If you have one X, then you have no Xs? Well, then you have no one. Then you have one X. Then you're hoping to go by yourself. You have nothing there. I know this is like a stupid thing.

Doesn't it make you mad? Yeah, it's annoying. Yeah, it's annoying, isn't it? More than anything else, it's annoying. All right, the answer was choice. Wow. If you have three choices, you have three choices. If you have two choices, you have two choices.

But you have one choice. You really don't have any. You have no choice. Okay, I see it now. That is such a stat. Isn't it so stupid? Boo! Like, that's not even...

All right, no one's gotten anything right so far. This is where I'm going to write. Question three, this traditional Colombian dish often contains a mix of beans, rice, arepa, chorizo, plantain, chicharron, avocado, and beef. D-I-A-H-R-E-E-A. I wrote that as well. That's still spelled wrong again. Bandeja stew or something like that. Oh, my God.

You got it half right. It's bandeja paisa. Okay. I'm going to give both of you the points. Thank you. The fact that you got bandeja. That's crazy, bro. That is crazy.

Because Vanessa's talked about it a lot. It's delicious. It's annoying how much she talks about it. Okay. I'm impressed. And also, doesn't that sound like a word we're not allowed to say? Yeah, paisa I thought was a bad word. Not everything in America is that.

No, no. Bandeja sounds very similar to a word we're not allowed to say. Bandeja? Yeah, a word that we can't say with an O at the end. We can't say that. That one we can say. It's just stupid. Okay.

That me. Okay. Question number four. What is the volume of a box that is five inches long, two inches wide, and three inches high? Oh, two. Oops. What's your point, Vanessa? Wait.

Five, two, and three? That messes up. This is different. My answer is different. Hold on. 30. Okay. I have 30 as well.

You both got that right. Yeah. Great job. What did you have originally? I didn't think you were allowed to change answers. No, sorry. It's because I thought I heard three twice, but it was because I had a lot of writing, so if it was a three, it would have been four times.

Yeah, you multiply the length by the width by the height, and that is how you get the volume. Good job. All right, question five. Four girls are in line to buy smoothies. Lacey's behind Stacey, but not last. Casey is in front of Macy, and Stacey is directly behind Casey, who is at the end of the line. I have Macy written down as the last question.

Oh, my gosh. Macy, question mark? Is that right? Yeah. You both got it right. Geniuses. You guys are doing great. See, this is what happens when you apply yourself.

The next one. This one is where I fail. Question number six. Mark, shelf, end, and worm can all be added to the end of which word to make four different compound words? Klein, what did you write down? Book. Vanessa, what did you write down?

Well, I have letters. M-S-N-W, which I think you can write message. What? You think you can write message? I know you can, but I don't know. What the hell does that mean? What are you saying? M-S-N-W.

This is like Da Vinci Code stuff over here. MSNW. You said, not a curse. Oh, no. You said, man, shelf, and... She said, add a word to all those other words. I didn't say man, shelf. You didn't say man?

No. What'd you say? Mark. Mark. Okay, Mark, M. Yeah, bookmark. Oh. Bookshelf.

Bookshelf. Bookend. Bookworm. Okay. Oh, Vanessa. You could be squeezing into the finals of the dumb-off. Okay, so now Klein, yes, one ahead with the final question. In which play does the following line appear?

A rose by any other name would smell as sweets. We'll start with you, Vanessa. I don't know, but I'm thinking Romeo and Juliet. Okay, Klein. That's what I put, too. Did you? Or did you look at my paper? Oh, I didn't see you wrote that down.

Klein, are you cheating? First of all, I think Vanessa's cheating because she did not spell Romeo right. Check her paper, please. This is not a spelling test. I put Rome, but I know what I meant. She put Rome and Juliet. Shakespeare. Rome isn't everything now, isn't it?

So flying with Juliet, I have Shakespeare, and then I wrote down Death of a Salesman. But that was my first thing, and then I changed it to Shakespeare, but Romeo and Juliet was the stupid play. Is that not right? It is right, but I'm now questioning whether or not you got... Shakespeare. Yeah. Where's Romeo? And you wrote Death of...

See, now I can't even... I can't read what you wrote. So give her the point on that one. Fine, I won't take that one then. Rome and Juliet. That's even dumber than... Rome is way off, bro. I forgot the O, but I know what I meant.

When you said play, I started writing Death of a Cell, and then I realized you were going to do that stupid Shakespeare talk, and I put Shakespeare. If you both get this right, then Vanessa is moving on to the next round. Well, let's say I got this wrong. Then it's a tie? Then it would be a tie.

Yeah. Tiebreaker. You wrote down Macy? Yes, dude. She wrote down Macy. Vendetta, stew, ghost, diarrhea, no one got the point on that. So do you have a tiebreaker question, Alec? I do.

It should be spelling. I do. It should be spelling since that's not our forte. Passengers usually start to board their flights one hour before the scheduled takeoff time. The gate will be closed 15 minutes before takeoff time. Jack's plane is scheduled to take off at 12.05. If he arrives at the gate at 12.10, can he board the flight? one two three is it yes or no huh is this a yes or no yes one two three

well i mean look the obvious is no but i'm wondering if we shouldn't say am or pm so this could be one of those i'm gonna say yes what do you say vanessa no he missed a fly you're not getting in buddy the answer is wait what did I say oh Jesus Christ Allie

god damn it it's unbelievable hold on a minute I think everything you said is wrong about this question I may have paraphrased the question oh my god Allie congratulations you're moving on somehow you've lost this round of the drum roll The people have spoken, and we can't argue with the people

because the people are usually right. After listening to all of that, it is without a doubt that the loser of the dumb-off today is once again Allie. Give her the sash already, God damn it, and retire her jersey to the rafters. She has earned it. Not being able to answer questions is one thing. Not being able to ask questions is a whole other thing.

Truly, I didn't have a bonus question on the ready. Allie was confused by the amount of questions to ask and even the questions she was asking. That's why I'm not the one who asks the questions around here. If a guy shows up at 1210 for a flight that left at 1205, can he board? It's the new dumbest thing I've ever actually heard. I can't remember it. So that is, I mean, it's just all over the place.

It wasn't supposed to be a tie. Vanessa and I are going to battle this out after the show the old-fashioned way. We're going to fight in the parking lot. You know, somebody said that you should lose because Bandeja Paisa is not a stew at all. And you wrote Bandeja Stew. Well, that question was rigged to go against me. So you just wait. No, but you technically got that one wrong.

Why do we do the dumb-off? But then a lot of people just want to hear Vanessa answer more questions, so they just want her to move on. Look, let's be honest. We're all just waiting for a Vanessa-Johnny Alley finals here. That's all we're waiting for. I mean, yeah. It's really, if you want me to continue asking questions. No, no.

I've never once battled Klein in the semifinals and stuff. That's right. Never made it this far. I knew my questions were bad because right after, Johnny came in and was like, no, those questions are what I'm talking about. And I was like, oh, no. Who's going to answer most of those? Especially the diarrhea one. Come on, y'all.

It's diarrhea. So we will get into another round of the dumb off the finals, I believe. That'll be next. And the reason we're doing this is to welcome everyone back to school and a reminder that you should stay in school. Because if not, this could happen to you in the future. All of this. Just all of it. Quick break.

We're back in a moment. We have ADD news to get to, a brand-new hour of the show, a petty claims court battle, and much more. Oh, yeah, more tickets if you want to come hang out with us. Endless Summer Kegger details on our Instagram at Klein Alley Show. We'd love to see you there. on September 3rd as we say goodbye summer and also hello more summer and that'll be happening all after this look at the ADD news Ali will deliver that news in just a moment but first an apology that's been delivered to Ali I just want to start off by apologizing to Ali for

calling her a gross monster and all those gross things because except the apology Ali this man is apologizing I believe he is the man responsible oh hold on there you are I feel like he's about to say more he's about to go on as to why he's apologizing to you but if you uh remember this is uh one of omar's favorite things to play one of his favorite clips is this guy calling going oh you're a gross monster i don't know where it is because there's so many alias gross clips that we have over the years i know it's tough to get them all mixed up even the uh just under the category gross monster there's still hundreds of clips here that people have said over the years but this man is uh apologizing once and for all once again here's the apology i just want to start

off by apologizing to Allie for calling her a gross monster and all those gross things because this guy feels bad and he knows the error of his ways. So do you accept his apology? No, I need to hear what he's going to say next. Do you really want to?

Yes. He could double down on your grossness. He will. I bet he will. Klein is by far just a humanoid. Just a beast in the making. If not prevailing All right, see, this now guy is arguing I'm grosser than you because of the...

Because of the earwax, though? Because of all the fluids I've been leaking this week. I'll make up for it. Don't worry. Allie's coming back, guys. Never count Allie out. I've got wax, too. She's got fluids.

Yeah, she's got all sorts of problems. She's got way more holes than me, so get ready. I mean, she will get grosser than me probably during the show today. I am the fluid queen. And she's pregnant, so that's, you know, I know it's a more acceptable grossness, but let's be honest. There's a lot of grossness coming all of our ways, so get ready for that. Yeah, there's a lot of weird stuff in my underwear these days. Oh, God.

Oh, man. Uh-uh. Apology accepted. This guy is taking back that apology immediately. Ugh. That was like weird update slash weather. And now here's your news. Shall we?

Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. Ugh. So we heard about some new Oasis tour dates happening next year. And now, just like Taylor Swift, they are releasing a documentary about that big reunion tour so that they can make even more money than they made on the tour. And this is the reunion tour that broke records. It was among the highest ticket sales of any tour.

Record online traffic spikes when tickets went on sale. And now they're going to tell us about how it all came together. The documentary is called Don't Look Back in Anger. It's a Hulu and Disney Plus original. And it will come out September 11th. And now they have released their first official trailer. How it came together. Oh, we want money.

Yeah. Come on now. No, but they go through all the drama in the documentary. I looked at my ATM balance, and then I said to my brother, look at your ATM balance. How would you like to make these balances bigger? How did it come together? Ultimately, that's what it is. I got a phone call from my manager saying, we'll pay you a billion dollars to go on stage with your brother.

Do you still hate him? But this is exciting. They have confirmed they are reuniting for a series of concerts. Most thought it would never happen, and some still aren't convinced. Is that a helicopter? Yes it is They should have just had The whole hour documentary should just be Brinks trucks

Driving and dropping off more bags Totally That's how it happened It didn't sit right with me man I just don't see myself On stage with Liam I don't really want to be going back with the tension Will it fall apart again

Forgiveness Is hard It costs us something It's kind of like an exercising demon What? And it's going to cost you a lot too It's going to cost you a lot To put up this big giant stage

It's getting it all out The rage It's just pure anger I need to calm the f*** down I mean I'm excited I didn't go to the concert I don't know what it's like I want to hear from them

Just because they're entertaining To listen to and watch That's when they're like Swimming through all their money Slow motion raining Constant money Good for you Oasis You played it well

I wonder if they had stayed Touring all those years But like you know Didn't become Because obviously This was the must go to Tour event And the reunion

No one thought would happen And then they sold out All these massive venues And merch and everything Do you think if they had Just stayed the course And done what bands do They would have made

More money Just performing over The last whatever it's been Decade plus Or Was the way they played it beautiful where like they ended up getting 10 years off pretty much and then

made all that money back and then some. I think it's better this way because I mean it's probably an even split but this way they got a lot of time to just drink and do drugs and kind of do their own thing. I know that. And also they didn't go through that period where their albums started sucking a little bit. Right. Because I don't know who did the

High Flying Birds but that wasn't that great. You know what I mean? Right. These albums were killer. They got all the best. We should repost that video of the top 10 insults that the brothers gave to each other, that's a good documentary. When they were attacking each other publicly for a while. Man, they should have put that in there.

Yeah, putting potatoes and throw them at my brother. Yeah, that was a great phase. I mean, that got people way more invested. And if all that hadn't happened, the reunion tour would have been really not that important. That High Flying Birds album is good, actually. Congratulations.

Again, Johnny's taste. And the Minions and Monsters. Legends, legends only. They have done the study of the worst commute in California, they posted the new list of the worst freeways and the worst commutes in all of California, and you would think that Southern California would always win

the top prize, and usually it does, but the MacArthur Maze near the Bay Bridge in the Bay Area has been ranked the worst commute in California. The number two was the 101 connecting LA to the Valley, which is...

That's the one you masturbated on, right? That's the one I masturbated on, yeah, because why not? That's why I made the list. And then third place was the 405 through the Sepulveda Pass. So literally two and three are my commute. 405 through the Sepulveda Pass they think is worse than anything on the five ever? They're crazy. Or the 210.

There's plenty of freeways that get way worse. I know that it's worse the most. Like on any given day it's always going to be traffic. I could imagine more cars go through there. But I'm just telling you, as someone who's lived in this part of the country for, I don't know, two decades, I feel like I spend more time sitting on the five than I sit on the 101, 405 combined. You think so?

Yes. I always sit on the goddamn five. And the 405. I mean, it's really all bad. They're all bad. They're just all bad. And the two. Stupid two.

Nobody ever talks about the two. The two sucks. Dude, the two's rad. There's never any traffic there. Apparently, people would pay $3,100 to avoid going on the 101 freeway. If you could pay that much money to just avoid that freeway they would.

Aren't we getting flying taxis before the Olympics are here? Aren't we getting those in like the next year? I think we're supposed to be getting a lot of stuff before. I think we're supposed to get that people mover at some point in the next 10 years. But did you also know that when new albums come out, distracted driving and accidents have a 15% increase? New albums in general? Yeah, just when a big new album comes out

because people are searching on whatever platform they use for downloading or listening to music and then they're trying to add it to a playlist and just distracted driving in general increases by 15% when there's like a big album release. Dropping on Friday, is that still a thing? Or is it now like whenever? I don't pay attention anymore.

I feel like it's whenever. I feel like Taylor Swift kind of screwed that up. It was like now it's, and Beyonce too, it was like now it's just midnight on this day and I've made no announcement. And so everybody just kind of, I think all that kind of went out the window. LeBron James has hit another milestone.

He is already the most followed NBA superstar on social media. He has 231 million followers, but now he is one of the most subscribed to YouTubers with just one video posted on his new YouTube golf channel. Wow, it's hole-in-one? It is a, yeah, 500,000 subscribers, and there's only one 96-minute long video, and it's just him going golfing with his friends. I will say I watched a good amount of it. There's a lot of swearing in it, so I can't play it for you now,

but it's just a lot of like, what do you think? Want to use the seven? Want to use the nine? Oh, you got out of that. You got out of that pretty good. But I think a lot of people just wonder what is it like to golf with celebrities and you want to feel cool and feel like you're a part of their little... It's the same as golfing with anybody else. A lot of swearing and sexist jokes.

You know who he didn't bring golfing with him was Ronnie James. Not invited in that foursome. Yeah, you got it. You got it. Stay in the car. Get into a brand new hour of the show next. The greatest hour of your life on KROQ after this. This is the world famous KROQ. Welcome to Just After 10 O'Clock. It is Klein Alley Show.

Back in your ear holes, or if you're watching, we are streaming live on YouTube right now. Thanks to Ginger Justin, who is keeping the show rolling there. This hour, we got more access for you to come to the Endless Summer Kegger with the Slightly Stupid happening in Newport Beach. It's been a while since we've taken this cast of characters over to the OC, and people said it's long overdue, so we can't wait to go over there and hang out, drink together, eat together, enjoy some live music

and other shenanigans that we cannot get into on the radio. That'll be happening September 3rd, and you must win your way in. So tickets coming up later this hour, plus a petty claims court battle. Two people battling it out. I think they are roommates slash maybe related roommates that are dealing with something. They'll be dealing with it over the radio. You'll determine who's right, who's wrong. So you've got jury duty to look forward to coming up this hour on the show.

If you're a new listener or you have no short-term memory, I'm Klein. There's Allie. Good morning. That is DJ Omar Khan over there. Jay Z Nerd back there. at Postmaster Johnny and producer Vanessa taking the calls at 800-520-1067. And then the goat line

is there when we're not. And that number is 844-956-GOAT. Hi, Clown and Ollie. Pantyhose Greg here, 126 in the morning. So he's moving at the normal speed for Pantyhose Greg. He thought he had a real problem he was dealing with, but luckily

problem averted. Tuesday morning, I'm watching Funny you should ask I listen to the radio So anyways I go oh damn I'm out of weed right And then I kind of move over In my bed and move the blanket

And a big old nugget rolls out Oh it's my lucky night I'm so happy So he thought he had no weed And then all of a sudden he moved his blanket And he found a little spare nugget in there Which is for him that's about the greatest thing that happens Yeah usually it's the carcass of a rat

that he finds when he gets his blanket. Immediately, though, his mood changed because, you know, he is our on-beat entertainment reporter unofficially, and he had to call back with this breaking entertainment news. Hi, Climbing Alley listeners. We're live with the entertainment report. I'm Danny O. Gregg,

and I'm here with some sad news to report. Hayden Pantiera has passed away. Oh, no. We don't know what happened. It's tragic. Okay. It's sad. I mean, her name alone was so cool.

So that was a nice tribute right there from pantyhose Greg. And that's why he is our unofficial entertainment reporter. What I love is that he starts off with this is live when it's not live in any way. Live for him. And it's like four days old at this point. So now you're all caught up on what's going on with that man, pantyhose Greg. Somber for you now. Show continues next.

And then your petty claims court battle over the airwaves of KROQ. KROQ. I know that you will argue that I'm the type of person that would complain about a picture that is then misleading to what it is you're actually getting, because I'm in the middle of fighting about this ice cream cake situation. You're in many fights right now. Not that many.

You're in a fight about the cake, you're in a fight about the color of the shirt. I'm not in that many fights. Things that are misleading. This guy who works at Jersey Mike's, you know, Allie and I love Jersey Mike's, but he's asking people to stop harassing him because they've got a, apparently they're promoting some sort of a sandwich there,

which they do, and the picture that they have up there is a giant picture of the sandwich with chips and a drink because that's a better picture than just a sandwich. And it's saying try the sandwich for $8, okay? And people are demanding when they go in there, apparently, that it's false advertising saying, in the picture, you're showing chips and a drink and a sandwich.

And that's what you're advertising, and that's what I want for $8. Oh, I didn't realize. So chips and a drink are in the picture of the sub? Oh, yeah, yeah, because that's, in general, when a place, especially like a place promoting food, they're actually going to show you... The only food.

They're going to show you the whole thing. And then if you try to recreate it, apparently the price is almost double that because you're adding a drink and chips. And people are going, and this guy said, hey, I'm just working at a Jersey Mike's. But he turned to social media to post a video to say, everyone stop yelling at me. First of all, customers, look, what do you see here? Try a regular sub for $8.95 plus tax, right? That chicken salad? You don't get a chip and a drink.

It's not a combo. Could the next one of you yell at me again? Look, listen, listen, I don't know what type of attitude you're on. All that hooting and hollering ain't going to get you it. So he says, people keep harassing him. He said, I want that exact picture for $8, as promised in the picture. He said they're hooting and hollering. And the guy's going, I can't take it anymore.

Okay. All you have to do is talk about some false advertisement. False advertisement. Ain't nothing but no false advertisement. When it's right here in red, it says, try a regular stuff for $8.95 plus tax. When you talk about some false advertisement. Because it doesn't say combo. It doesn't say subcombo.

They show you the combo. A lot of times I'm convinced. I think Jersey Mike's, sadly, is a Pepsi-operated. Are they Pepsi? They're not Coke, that's for sure. I can't remember. I never get the soda. But regardless, I assume a lot of times that the soda brands are the ones that will oftentimes pay.

Oh, for the combo things? To do the big printings because they want to include their products in there. Because why not, right? I assume that that's what it's all about. Of course, you know, you go in, you see it, you go, I'll take that, you point to the picture. They do purposely make it confused. I'm not saying it's, it is misleading intentionally. I think all deals are.

Right. Right. Even just taxes and fees and all that kind of underlying crap, you know, you think you're saving money, and really you're saving, like, what, two bucks, three bucks? I mean, I don't want to go back to the whole $5 footlong fiasco from many years ago, but even that started with catchy jingle $5 footlong, certain days, only certain things were $5. They changed the rules. And this is only one sub. Right, one sub. And I would argue their least popular sub, chicken salad.

But I think what they try to do, and I get the same thing every time at Jersey Mike's. You got turkey provolone, do you not? Turkey provolone. That's the sandwich. Every time. Mike's way, no tomato, whatever. I think what they're doing over there, because they try to cycle stuff through. Do you do cold cheese there, too?

Cold cheese, baby. The only option is cold cheese. Actually, there I say hot cheese, just to mess up the system. Because all you was thinking about was that chip in the drink. That's what you was thinking about. Got me over here talking about something, hooting and hollering. Hey, I need to get it. No, you don't.

No, you don't. You're not going to get it. This guy's making minimum wage, working Jersey Mike's. See, you don't want to deal with people harassing them for the free soda. Well, people harass enough. They try and take advantage of the system there. First of all, he has to deal with bread scoopers. They're really annoying.

Then you have people that try and customize things. And then you go, I want a giant. But I actually want you to dress the giant in four different ways. And they try and get four different sandwiches out of it. I mean, they deal with some crap there. If you want a free soda, do what everyone else has done for years. You ask for a water cup. And you fill it a thousand times.

Right. You stand there with little shots of Pepsi until you're satisfied. Yeah. And you do that thing where you look around and make sure no one's looking at you. I just need a few chugs. Or that move I watch a lot of people do where they do the, clearly they steal the soda and kind of do the oops, oops. Like, oh, I thought they kind of do that thing. Oh, I thought it was water.

Oh, whoopsie. This is Mountain Dew again. And by the way, everyone knows if you're going to go with the stealing of the soda, which is kind of a socially acceptable crime that gets committed a lot, at least don't steal the obvious. There used to be an art form to the stealing of the soda. And the art form was, I will steal Sprite, or I will steal something else that at least resembles like it could be water. Now, there's no shame anymore. People are full-blown neon blue. I stole a whole cup of Powerade.

Look at it. Oh, I had a whole—well, last time I was in Jersey Mike's, there was a family of five that went up and said, can we please have five water cups? And then they went one by one to the soda fountain, and they filled up whatever the hell they wanted. And the person that worked there didn't care. Now, what's next? Are you going to go back behind the counter and just start putting meat in your water cup? Just filling it with meat?

That's water cup. Or you can maybe ask for extra meat. See if they do it. I've got a free cookie there a few times. This poor guy's going to have a mental health breakdown because people are looking at the picture and demanding they get their chips and drink. Would you like a chip and a drink for an upcharge? I can do that. You know, Jersey Mike's will give you a free chocolate chip cookie if you're with a child.

Yes, I get a free cookie a lot when I'm with them. And if you're not with a child, and I've said this before, I said, hey, and I'm not trying to pull an over on them. I'm like, hey, I'm picking up this sub for my child. And they say, no child, no cookie. Really? They have to. Pick one off the street. A child?

Yeah, grab one. A street cookie. I can do that. Shoot. Over here, cutting up the day. Two customers like that. What? This guy is having a rough one.

Yeah, but it is unfair that they put the chips and the drink in the picture. They should just do the sub. It is misleading on purpose. It's misleading, but maybe that's what makes you end up going, I'm going to order that. Now that looks like a complete thing. And I feel like that happens a lot around. Because most people don't look at the price at the end. They assume they're getting a deal.

It's like when you go to the grocery store and you buy something because it's on sale, there's a coupon, and then you don't even know if the coupon really took because they're just doot, doot, doot, dootin'. We've got a petty claims court to get to in a moment. I see already on the phone right now we have some roommates that are unhappy with each other about something that you could be dealing with at your house and or apartment. So we get into that after this, which means you have jury duty. Stick around, help us decide, and get yourself some access to our endless summer kegger all after this.

The Gavel of Justice has been brought into the KROQ studios, which means it's time to meet some people that are battling over something that may seem small. So small that no one else would waste their time hearing it. But that's where we come in. We've got tons of time to waste every single day. And we appreciate you letting us waste your time as well. But we need your help because you will be a jury in a moment. You're going to meet Kelly and Tiana.

Ooh, it's sisters. Nice. These are sisters that live together, I guess. They've been roommates for six months. That's always weird when you live together growing up, then you separate, you go on, you do your things, and then you're somehow back together again. Yeah, and I know that this is something, hey, you live together. So you live together at one point when you were in the same house, so kind of it's easy, like it's something you know, but it can really tear a family apart. Something going on, and as a result, one of them has brought their other sister here for Petty Claims Court.

So without any further ado. In the legal system, cases are tried from Supreme Courts to Small Claims Court. But what about stuff that's too small for Small Claims Court? This is Petty Claims Court. All right. Let's get to it. The sister that is bringing her other sister to us is Chakra, the older sister. The older sister likes to lay down the law.

The younger sister's job is to fall in line. What's the unofficial caretaker of the oldest? Let me say hi to Kelly. Hey, Kelly, good morning. Welcome to KROQ and welcome to Petty Claims Court. What's up, guys? She did. She did.

So your sister has moved in with you, your younger sister, or you guys moved in together? I think that matters a lot before we get into the issue. Was it someone of your places first, or you moved into a brand new neutral place? So it's my place, and she's kind of staying with me until she can get herself together. And do you think that that's going to be temporary, or she's going to outstay her welcome? It's going to take a while. Yeah. And you, just so I get this quite clear, you listen to our show, which is why you reached out to us for Petty Claims Court.

Your sister has no idea who we are or what this is. That's right. I'm a loyal listener, and she's just out there in space, Bill. Okay. Sounds like you guys have a nice relationship. Let's bring your sister on board. Once again, the jury of your peers will vote and determine who's right and who's wrong. Is this Tania?

Yes, it's Tania. That's some way to spell it. All right, Tania. Welcome to K-Rock and welcome to Petty Claims Court. Your sister has accused you of something. We don't know what it is just yet, but how do you think the living with her is gone? You know, I feel bad because I shouldn't be there right now in my life. But I'm thankful that I have a sister that'll let me crash there for a few months until I get back on my feet.

It's funny, someone's buttering her. She's trying to butter her up early with a compliment. I'm just so thankful for my beautiful sister. Smart move, also. Subtractive and intelligent. Are you paying rent during this time period? Yes. You are paying rent.

Fair share rent or, like, family rent? Which is like, eh, throw in 20. Yeah, yeah. Fair share. It's not much. Okay. Oh, got it. All right.

Kelly, what is it that you're accusing your sister of? Once again, if you're just joining us, Kelly and Tanya are sisters, but now they are also roommates, and Kelly has brought her sister to Petty Claims Court for an issue that's unfolded over the last six months of living together. What's up? so like it's not enough that i'm letting her like hang out at the house uh this bee eats uh all my food drinks my beer she's one of these people that leaves like crumbs in the chip bag like half a bowl of cereal in the box and still calls that good and never replaces it you know

she says oh i'll give you money for it never happens i'll go by the store on my way never happens. Well, I think that's the bigger issue of all of this is the person that doesn't want to be the quote finisher of the item because then they're responsible for throwing it out and also you go who finished the chips and clearly it was Tanya. So they leave a spoonful of something. So they leave enough but the issue

of what is enough, what is a serving versus what is just leavings and she's leaving leavings. Bingo. And it doesn't seem like she's contributing financially to the groceries at all, correct? Um, not, yeah correct Allie I'm gonna go ahead and put her on blast that's correct okay and then did she do

this when you guys were kids too was she the finisher and the lever yeah pretty much trying to break old habits Tanya do you care to defend yourself at all because I know it feels like you're on the defensive now and you're being attacked by your sister but do you believe that you are leaving what would be considered a edible portion of this stuff or do you think that you are purposely leaving nothing but crumbs you know i don't think i do it on purpose you know sometimes i just you know can't get up and get myself to the store i hate going to the store literally hate going to the store is the worst thing for me and kelly is just she's a better shopper and she buys the best snacks so um i i she loves to say that i make more money she loves she loves to say that i

make more money that's what this is yeah and she makes a little bit more so she can you know she can take that that well there are certain people that are better shoppers i'll be honest like they just know they come back from the store with good snacks they they know how to get the good snacks they get the good stuff and there's other people that suck at it i know my and i'm the better shopper in our marriage my wife never goes to the store and if she does last time she went to the store she came home with a giant costco-sized box of baking soda oh that's right we're terrible like what is that about came up with that whole bucket of baking so like what why do we need a lifetime supply of baking soda why would you buy this purchase uh so so tanya you're not you're

not doing this to you're not doing this in a passive-aggressive way to get back at your sister at all you just you think that you're leaving like what would be an example specifically kelly of the last you went to eat you go oh good there's x there's this left and then you open and there was nothing there so i love i love a good good cold coke right and the rule like the courtesy rule is you never take the last thing of somebody's right you never take the last one about three nights ago i came home from work went for that ice cold coke and guess what wasn't there And, Tanya, how do you explain that? Oh, my gosh.

I just was thirsty, you know? Oh, my gosh. You know, it was in there. I was going to go to the store and replace it, and I never did. But it sounds like that's more of a, that's not like a once in a while thing. She says you never go to the store. Has there ever been a time that you've replaced anything that you can think of in the last six months? No.

it sounds like your only argument is that kelly makes more money and should pay for you yeah and she's a better shopper and she likes to go to the store i don't that's exactly what my wife says to me you like it right don't you know that you like it it's that jedi mind trip stuff but you're good at this you're better at this and i'm we people like me are fishing for a compliment at every turn i know thank you so much my wife told me for a while i was better at picking up the kids at school than she was. And I was like, you're goddamn right I am. And then I thought, what am I doing every day like a sucker?

How do you have to be good at it? You just pull up your car. Anyone can do it. You are good at sitting in your car, though. I am great at sitting in my car, so she's got a point there. All right, well, let's get to the final 10 seconds closing arguments that a jury of your peers will vote. If you're just joining us, it's a case between two sisters.

They live together. Kelly is the older sister, but she opened up her house and her heart to Tanya, her younger sister, who's going through something. Did you just get divorced or break up recently, Tanya, is what it sounds like to me? Yeah, had a nasty breakup. Okay, fair enough. So sister did what sisters do, and she opened up her house. Nothing wrong with that, but now she says you are taking full advantage of fridge-slash-snack privileges

by finishing everything, including the last drinks, not replacing. But even worse than that, giving that whole false illusion that something does exist by putting the packaging back when there's nothing left in there. Yeah, that's egregious. You know when you pull that Oreo thing out, and you're like, this feels weirdly light, but it's an Oreo. and you just keep pulling and keep pulling and pulling and pulling. Nothing's like a half of one half with no cream on it. Oh, it's the worst feeling you can have in the world.

All right, 10 seconds closing arguments. Kelly, you get to go first. Go ahead. I mean, I love to have her. She's my sister. This is super annoying, but it would be really awesome if she could like once in a while Instacart maybe some groceries to the house or DoorDash or something like that.

Even order it, I'll pick it up, something like that. But I think the bottom line is she's just chasing the shot. Tanya, 10 seconds to try to get the jury on your side. They will vote. The first 100 texts, 800-520-1067, will determine if Tanya wins or if Kelly wins. My sister, Kel, is the best shopper. She likes to go to the store and get the best snacks. She's better at it.

So I just let her do it. I don't understand the big deal about sharing snacks. We're sisters. We literally share everything. Sex toys? And she does make more money, so she can afford it. A kiss occasionally? Yeah, many, many.

All right. Time, time will use. This song is called Loser, and in a moment, we will find out who is the loser in this relationship. Your votes will determine that at 800-520-1067. Tame Impala on KROQ. Yes, that is in the new Spider-Man movie. It's called Loser. It's Tame Impala on KROQ.

We are Klein Alley Show. And in a moment, we're going to have the verdict to share with you from this petty claims court battle between Kelly and her sister, Tanya. Tanya went through a breakup. Kelly said, I'm your big sister. You can move in. And I guess for six months now, Tanya has been finishing snacks and not replacing, not refilling, not offering to do the shopping. She claims the argument, I would do it, but I hate going to the store. And let's be honest, Kelly is a better shopper and makes more money.

yeah there's a whole argument now that is a brewing in the jury between free loading versus making the good point that if that's something you're good at you know spread your wings and fly you shopper i know there are a lot of us for kelly but also 323 wanted to vote for tanya because everyone knows that feeling when you go visit your parents and you raid their fridge it's a comforting feeling right now you have this window where you can eat and drink whatever you want for free and tanya's just taking advantage of that for her sister i don't want to put words in your mouth, Tanya, but I mean, let's be honest, you go through a breakup, how much of Kelly's ice cream do you

eat? How many pints of Ben and Jerry's, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, a couple pints of Ben and Jerry's for sure. And the beers, I think is egregious too, the fact that it's alcohol. Josh, you have a vote. We'll read the verdict in a moment, but final thoughts here quickly before we wrap it up and

move on. Josh, go ahead. Okay, so I'm on the side of Kelly here because Tanya, let's be real here, no one likes a mooch, okay? I know that you're going through a really crappy situation, and we've all been there before. But if you're going to eat the rest of something, it's no more than just a text away to say, hey, I finished this. Can you stop by the store and get it?

Okay, so finish, eat away, but just as a courtesy. If you want that cold soda when you get home, that's gone. Just to let you know. Maybe update, constant updates. Just let them know, yeah. I always like the idea of, I think people are very concerned about putting cameras around their house to monitor the ins and outs. I don't know why there's not more people that have live fridge cams, so you can see what's going on in there all the time. That's a great idea.

You're right. Maybe you're on to something. Vanessa, note on the desk. Prototype, live fridge cams to monitor what's happening. Nothing worse than getting home thinking you have a leftover waiting for you, only to realize it's not there. You should take it a step further and make it like a hotel fridge where it's all waited. Oh, it's waited. I like that. So that it can notify you if something was moved or taken.

Someone has taken my last drink. Zeke? Yo. Are you doing woodworking right now, or what's happening over there? Oh, yeah, man. I'm at the job right now, but you know I ain't tripping in nothing. They can wait. But check this out.

This is all I got to say like this. I know I'm really going to say Kelly in the right, but it's a real, real, real situation. I'm really going to vote for Tanya because I was in a similar situation when I paroled from prison. I didn't have a place to parole. So my brother let me stay at his house, and, you know, my brother is kind of like telling me this, you know, serious, oh, I need the money and stuff. It's always going to be like that. You know, the youngest sibling is always going to be, you know, the fun, kind of get into something similar, you know, something bad, stuff like that. But, you know, you're going to need the help.

But at the same time, she's wrong because you've got to get up and go find out what the groceries, you better clean the pad, you know what I'm saying? You better provide some smoke, provide something. You've got to do something. You can't just sit there at the pad and expect your sister just because she makes more money than you for her to provide for you. You're a grown-ass woman. You've got to be out there and be able to go make your money. And not only that, but make sure you've got to keep your sister happy because, remember, she's the one who's letting you stay at her house. It's not the other way around.

Yeah, really good points. I understand you felt like you were a Tanya at one point in your life, but you also do have to contribute in some way, even if you can't contribute financially. Yeah, you've got to do something. You know, like if you can't, if you can't, like if you can't provide the rent, but you can provide some smoke, you can provide some drink. Hey, something, something, something got to give. You know, you just can't be there for free because eventually it could be your sister. As much as she loves you, she's going to have to cut that cord. And, you know, then you skip it.

I don't know what most of what he said, but it sounds good. Tanya, are you providing any smoke? You know, I clean more and I do smoke her out sometimes. OK. All right. So there you have it, Zeke. Richard, we'll give you the final word, and then Allie will read the verdict. We've got to wrap up the show today, sadly. Go ahead.

Just put some phony expiration dates on there. Get a stamp and staples and put like a ridiculous phony date on there, you know, outdated maybe a year ago. This expired in 83. That's a good idea. Yes, I better read it. That's good. To be a good sister. That's a great tip.

If you're living with a roommate that's eating your stuff, just go ahead and stamp some phony expiration dates on stuff. All right, Allie. We've tabulated the votes now. Only one winner, one loser. You guys understand that the verdict's final here, petty claims court. Tanya, Kelly, thank you for bringing your dispute to our show. And, Tanya, maybe now that you are done freeloading off of all of Kelly's snacks, you'll freeload off some free radio and start listening to Klein Alley Show Mornings.

What do you think about that, huh? I'm definitely going to tune in. Yeah, I don't believe that. Just like you're definitely going to buy groceries? Definitely going to replace those Oreos. All right. All right, Allie, let's go ahead. Well, I tabulated the votes from text and from the YouTube live stream, and with 93% of the vote, Kelly, you have won, and you're a very good sister.

Kelly, I think you knew that was going to happen because you brought us an open-shut case, and there was a few votes, very few votes for Kelly. I mean for Tanya, but congratulations. Hey, moving forward, Tanya, here's the deal. If you finish anything, you will leave a $5 bill by the thing you finished. Like a tip for the housekeeper. I like that. I like it. And then Kelly can put that towards the fund.

Or, you know, she's right. Every once in a while, just keep one of them open. Download some DoorDash or something like that. All right. Thank you for bringing the case to us. We have to wrap up the show. We're way behind. And who's in today?

Is it Sluggo or is it Johnny? I can't keep track. Sluggo. Sluggo's back. Oh, thank God. Sluggo's back. So there you go. Stick around.

Listen to more KROQ after us. All right. Takeaways from today's show. Allie, what do we got? You know, before I get to takeaways, 562 said we need to invite Zeke to the kegger. We've never met Zeke before. Oh, yeah. Zeke should come.

816, my takeaway is when you have diarrhea, what comes out is a lot of E's. Well, if I'm spelling it, that's true. 424, my takeaway is if something dies in your house, just put a cup over it. Man, I'm going to go. How many cups do you think I'm going to go home to today? I think it's going to look like beer pong when you get home. This is all dead cockroaches under cups that I've got to deal with. You've got to figure it out.

310, purple is the new blue. Thanks, Klein. 213, my takeaway is the answer is... Wait, what did I say? 650, pregnancy brain cancels out hurt brain. I think I proved that that is not true. 818, one of Shakespeare's most famous plays was Juliet with Rome. And 818, my takeaway, have you seen The Mummy?

And let's see, 909, my takeaway is Jesus died for our roid rage. If you don't know what we're talking about, you should listen to more of the show. Thank you for all of the contributions on the text line for Calling Tomorrow. We have many more. We haven't been doing enough of this. Vanessa says we've got a lot of these kegger opportunities tomorrow. So tomorrow we're going to start blowing out chances to come to our endless summer kegger, also known as the Clam Slam. Johnny, takeaway?

Is it brothers or brothers? You have a takeaway there, Vanessa. Don't trust the cake at Ralph's. Well, I'm just saying something's going on. There's a cake-spiracy. I'm going to get to the bottom of it today. I will have a full investigative report to deliver to you guys tomorrow. This isn't over.

It's not over. It's far from open. Actually, just the layers are just getting deeper. Like one of those layer cakes. Gluten-free layers. Just keep more and more layers to plot thickets. And there's still no ice cream. No, there's no layer of ice cream.

Ali, takeaway? My takeaway is M-S-E-W. Oh, no. Vanessa cursed us three days in a row. Jake, you have a takeaway? Yeah, we want the banging, sister. That's right. And finally, DJ Omar Khan.

Yeah. Klein's wife is not in elementary school. She wanted to let us know. I don't go to school. that she does not go to school. So there. Well, we learned something today on the show. She told us.

She did. Have a great day. We'll do it tomorrow. Try to do it better. If you need us in the meantime, there's a GOAT line for you. 844-956-GOAT for your comments, critiques, and criticisms.

Or if you'd rather, you can just find us on the Instagram, YouTube, and everywhere else. All right, goodbye. Planet Alley, it's just okay. Do-do-do. Planet Alley, it's just okay. Oh.

Planet Alley, it's just okay. No need to clap, but I will for us. This episode of Klein Alley Show has officially come to an end. And now it's a good opportunity for us to shill all of our things for the next 30 seconds so you realize that this really is a business and we're not actually friends. If you've ever wanted to see what we look like, I question your decisions, but we are available for your viewing pleasure at KROQ's YouTube. And we even hired a guy to run the YouTube live stream,

so for the sake of Justin's job, you should watch it. Yeah, if Justin gets fired, and by the way, he's a ginger, so I think it's racist if you fire him. Regardless, check out our show. It's on YouTube. Every single morning you can watch us live. Of course, we love it when you listen on the radio, like the good Lord intended, but also watch the YouTube after the fact. You can also follow along on the socials, Klein Alley Show. There's so many ways for you to get involved and do your little part to help us to hashtag grow the show.

If you've ever wanted to see what Jake's nerd hole looks like, or the way Johnny thinks during Johnny Doesn't Know, or simply the way that Klein looks disgusted when I tell him a sexy story about myself, it's all available on the live stream. See, you can see what that looks like. All right, you can stop. Don't die. Open them two eyes.