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About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be.
The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports.
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Okay, enough shilling.
Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show.
You know, we live in a part of the country where we're lucky in the sense of we get access to pretty much every natural disaster out there.
Even tornadoes.
I mean, if you think about it, we had a tornado here about a year ago that happened.
Well, that was like a half second of something.
It was technically a tornado.
And then we get, there was rumors this week that there was going to be a hurricane that was going to hit us.
Yeah, but then now it's not.
You know, that hurricane's name is the same name as the stutterer that we had on the air yesterday, Marie.
Oh, yeah, Tropical Storm Marie.
Tropical Storm Marie, which is exactly what will happen if you're in the front row of the Sublime Show.
Slightly stupid.
If you're in the front row of that show, it's going to be another tropical storm.
So I recommend you go to Poncho if you're going to be there early for the Endless Summer of Kegel.
She's going to be introducing the band.
But I did want to figure out, because there's always good to have updates on how to survive these things that happen.
I mean, think about it.
Today, there was an earthquake.
Not a big one.
Three, four happened in the Ontario area.
But there are natural disasters.
As you know, we get mudslides.
We get earthquakes, obviously.
This week, now it's down to a tropical storm.
But at one point, they said a hurricane could be hitting us from the Pacific.
It's hurricane season right now.
Something that we didn't usually get.
We did get a tornado last year.
There's a lot of scary news articles about El Nino this year and about how it's going to be crazy.
That's the big one they're saying.
This El Nino thing is going to mess us up big time.
We've experienced the extreme heat.
There was some weird-ass heat-slash-humidity situation we had going on last week that felt very...
Anything's possible here.
But I think you hear about big earthquakes, and then you hear about the flash floods, whether it's in the Grand Canyon or Nepal, and you think, is that going to happen here?
Because you're right.
In a way, anything is possible.
Let's see who on the show would be able to survive the longest.
And I'm going to give you some actual scenarios that you could find yourself in
and how would you handle these and listen closely because as much as this may seem like a stupid show
with stupid people, what you're about to hear could actually save your life.
And you may remember five years from now, wait a minute, I think they talked about that on KROQ
and I'm not supposed to do this.
So let's just say for a moment, Allie, you're in your bed when an earthquake strikes.
Sleeping, middle of the night because I don't know why it feels like that's when
it always is going to happen.
That's like a massage.
What is the most evidence-based action you should take?
What the hell is evidence-based action?
They looked at scenarios of this exact thing happening
and they found that your best chance for survival
is if you do the following when an earthquake hits.
And I'm talking big one because they keep saying
we're at the gates of hell or whatever the experts keep saying
about the big one that's going to hit because of all the rumblings
and we're long overdue for it and the plates and everything else.
They say everything's lining up.
The big one could happen any moment now.
Could be a thousand years, but could be any moment now, too.
So if it was that scenario, if I'm laying in bed and there is an earthquake.
That's a very likely scenario.
I would pull the covers over my head and sit there.
Like a Dutch oven.
Yeah, a Dutch oven myself.
Like you just want to ride it out?
Yeah.
Just pull the cover.
I'm going to wait for it to finish before I start running.
I don't want to run around when there's the ground shaking.
So you believe.
I mean, I'm pretty clear of things hitting me when I'm in my bed.
It's not like there's chandeliers.
He'll be in his bed.
Everyone just stop.
Just chill.
You're not concerned that all those white lady dream catchers you have above you are going to fall on you?
Finally catch me back.
I got tangled up in a net from one of her dream catchers.
I was thinking I would maybe military style roll off the bed and then under the bed.
But then if the bed crushes me, that's probably not good.
Right.
So I think it's better to just stay in one place.
So you say stay in bed under the covers.
Omar, what do you say?
Same situation.
You're in bed.
Big rumbler happens.
Middle of the night.
What do you do?
So I'm the type of person that when I am awoken by something like that, I'm like 100% awake.
There's no like drowsiness.
So I would wake up, get my children, and we're outside in the backyard instantly.
How about you're running through a house when it's shaking?
I am very agile.
I don't believe that for a second.
Didn't you finish a 3.1 miles in 30 minutes barely?
That's agile right there.
That's agile.
That's more of a stamina thing.
All right, all right, all right.
So, Omar, you grab your kids, and then you move.
Are you on a second floor in this situation?
Yeah, I'm on the second floor.
So you're moving to a first floor and then running outside and standing in the yard.
The second floor can crush you?
All right, that's what Omar said.
Jake, what do you do?
I know the shack is not probably where you want to be when a big one hits, but what is it?
It's probably where everyone wants to be.
It's probably like a bomb shelter.
I mean, we're talking the big one, right?
Everything is rattling.
Yeah, but you don't know.
When the rattling starts, you don't know if it's a big one or not
because you don't know, once again, is this going to be the big one?
Is this going to be?
Yeah, if it keeps going longer than 10 seconds of grabbing my kids,
going to the backyard.
All right, Jake, what do you do?
I think what they've said is to get in the doorway or get into a bathtub,
but since I live in a shack and it's right next to my front door,
I can just roll right out of bed right into the front yard.
I have heard the doorway thing.
That's convenient.
It's going to be the safest for sure.
And roll out of bed into my yard.
I don't know if science looked into that.
I don't know if that was part of their both evidence-based action.
I mean, yeah, he has less house to move through.
Right.
So it's probably safer.
Look, I feel like Jake's place is a good place to be for an earthquake.
Terrible place to be for a hurricane because it's a shack.
It gets picked up in a second.
Yeah, but I don't know.
I mean, it's just one floor.
Vanessa, what do you do?
I'm going underneath a frame.
Like a door frame.
Because isn't that what you're supposed to do?
I think that's what you're supposed to do.
That's what they've said for years, but now they've looked into the evidence.
And this is, once again, you're in bed when it strikes.
But you're risking running and walking, being on your feet in a totally unstable environment.
No one survived this scenario.
How klutzy are you?
Well, the ground's shaking.
You can fall over easily.
Whatever, not me.
You are supposed to stay in bed.
Cover your head and neck with pillows.
That was going to be my answer.
That's what I was going to say.
And Dutch oven.
There you go.
Safe put.
And that is the Dutch oven part you don't have to do.
But the first part about stay in the bed and then you create as much.
I thought you were supposed to go under the bed.
No, I think you're going to get trapped.
Things are going to get crushed, you know, and then you're going to be stuck there for a while.
I don't, I'm not going to risk that.
You don't want to put yourself in a situation where you're getting stuck.
But if the ceiling starts collapsing on you and you've got your pillow, you know, fort.
I mean, we learned as a kid, there's nothing more safe than a pillow fort.
Of course.
Moving on.
And that's why I sleep in a pillow fort.
You woke up.
Yeah, but Vanessa, you're in a pillow fort.
You just said the wrong answer.
You were going to get out of your pillow fort.
I know, but I was going into a hard surface.
But now I know.
I'm OSC.
So I was right.
Yeah, Allie was the most right.
Let's talk about this scenario.
You are driving in your car, and you encounter a flooded roadway.
This happens a lot.
We've got a lot of flash floods here.
Water appears to be moving slowly, but it's about six inches deep.
What is the effective rule of thumb that you are supposed to apply to this scenario?
Six inches?
You're coming across.
It's not standing water.
It is moving water, but moving slowly, and it is six inches, but it is getting deeper.
What do you do?
God, if it's only six inches, I feel like it's drive through it, you can do it.
I'm moving slowly?
Drive through it, you can do it, which is something that we say on this show.
Does it say how wide it is?
No.
Okay.
It's a flooded roadway, so I assume it's the width of the roadway.
I'm just going to turn around.
You're going to turn around?
Yeah, I'm just going to turn around.
I probably shouldn't drive through it if I don't know how wide it's going to be.
Omar?
Yeah, man, we all saw that footage from Nepal, and that is scary.
Flash floods could fill something up within seconds.
So I agree with Allie.
You do not drive through it.
You cannot do it.
You will possibly drown.
You got to do that cool thing where you just reverse in really fast motion.
That's so cool.
You have to go backwards on the freeway.
It feels so cool.
Like Vin Diesel.
Jake, what do you do?
Yeah, you can't drive through it.
There's flooding all the time where my parents live in Texas.
And they'll have markers for the roads so you can actually tell how deep the water is.
But usually you can't pass at all.
Wasn't this an Oregon Trail thing?
Cock the wagon and float it across.
Cock the what?
What?
You can't say that on the radio.
I can't say any of those things.
No, no, no.
It's called cock the wagon.
You can basically turn it into a little boat.
I think lesbians can say it because they don't get turned on by it.
So, Allie, you have the right.
I can make it into a little boat and go across.
That's your plan?
In Oregon Trail.
Johnny, you come across a flooded roadway.
What do you do?
Well, I'm going to drive right through it because I got a Ford Bronco,
and my car is made for that, so I'm going to just go right through it.
You want to plug a Star Mazda?
Yeah, I got a Ford Bronco.
Thanks to my friends over at Star, Ford, Lincoln, and Glendale.
All right, great.
Tell them Johnny sent you.
So, Johnny's right.
You're supposed to plug your car dealership.
No.
You're supposed to, once again, this is the safe way.
Turn around, don't drown is what they say.
Even six inches of moving water can reach the bottom of most passengers' cars, cause loss of control, stall the engine out, making your car pretty much useless.
Right.
And then you're the person stuck on top of your car trying to get rescued.
Get out.
And that's the other thing is you supposedly can't gauge exactly how strong or fast the water's moving, they claim.
Even if it's slow moving, there could be a big undercurrent or something.
Let's talk about this scenario.
So everyone did the right thing there.
You survived.
But a hurricane, we're supposed to get a hurricane potentially.
And this hurricane was going to be a big one.
It sounded like this.
And it's...
Slightly stupid.
You're in your kitchen.
You're in your kitchen.
and the hurricane you just you did not listen to the evacuation orders you were told to evacuate
but you decided i'm going to stay put and then you realize the hurricane is now hitting and it
is much stronger than you anticipated what do you do i don't know crap about hurricanes um let's see
i don't think there's anything you can do i feel like in these situations everyone just dies
i guess i would get that's a good uh philosophy to have well i mean in a hurricane i feel like
just devastating. I mean, if you're in your house
and you're not in
a hurricane for California,
nobody has those, like, basements
that you run into. No one
has those little, like, hideaways that they
have on the East Coast. So, I guess
I would just go bathtub.
Now, he says bathtub, if you have it.
Omar, hurricane. You were told to evacuate.
You said, ah, it's not going to be that bad. You stay put.
Then it hits, and it's a lot stronger than you thought.
What do you do?
I run outside, hop in my car, and I outrun the
hurricane. Oh, cool. Okay, storm chaser,
but you let the storm chase you.
He's agile.
I'm a storm chase-ee.
Jake, you're in the shack now.
What do you do?
Oh, man.
The hurricane, I think you just brace and ride it out.
You float away with the shack.
Okay, that applies to only you.
It's like a captain dying with the boat.
It's like the Wizard of Oz.
He goes down with the shack.
I'm going off to meet the munchkins.
They claim that if you are in a hurricane
and you've decided to stay put
and you avoided the evacuation orders,
you need to go to the most internal,
hopefully windowless room of your structure
that you can go to.
Bathroom.
They say you must keep your shoes on.
That's a big one.
Okay.
Like Trump said,
gotta get my shoes.
Because you don't know what to do.
Because of all the Debris.
And that's one of those things
you don't think about afterwards.
Shoes on.
And then you want to basically
get to the lowest possible level
of wherever you're living
that doesn't have the risk of flooding.
So whatever that means.
Whatever that means.
They're saying that is your best chance
for survival of a hurricane.
But it must be that room,
whatever internal space you have,
preferably no windows.
Yeah, but what if there's a,
if there's a whole bunch of water building up,
why would you go down to the water
and not go up?
They're saying lowest possible,
because up, I think,
is the wind is going to be stronger.
Oh, I see.
So that's why they say
you want to be the lowest level
without the risk of flooding.
That's where all the cars and cows
are floating around.
That's right.
so now we hope
you stay alive
for another day
we have more show
after this
on KROQ
and those tickets
if you'd like to go
to Ohana Fest
we have them for you
coming up in about
15 minutes right here
on KROQ