Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Do You Somely Swear To Have A Good Summer? (FULL SHOW 6/22)

Episode Date: June 22, 2026

Today we met a woman named Sugar Honey Iced Tea, and if you're not excited about summer yet she will change your tune in 5 seconds flat. Klein had an eventful Father's Day when he popped two gummies and then immediately had to deal with his dog getting sprayed by a skunk. He proceeded to do all the wrong things which ended in him and his dog being trapped in a shower covered in peanut butter. We heard all your Father's Day fail stories, which included a dad who was pooped on, a dad who had to take his drunk wife to the ER, and a dad who had to abandon his tri-tip mid-grill when his kid got bitten by a Pomeranian. One of those lucky guys got himself a brand new TCL TV to make up for the worst Father's Day ever! What's the gayest thing about you? We'll go first. Klein drinks coffee with a straw and follows shirtless men on Instagram. Johnny once was late to work because he had to 'change outfits.' Jake is obsessed with the color purple and buys women's shoes, and Vanessa spends her free time roller blading. Where do you fit in? One thing we know: Ally's the straightest person on the show.

New episode of Klein Alley Show is about to begin, but before that can happen, Alley, let's tell the people what they need to know. You mean about San Bernardino International Airport? Of course I'm talking about the San Bernardino International Airport. Easy, close, and not LAX. And parking is always just five bucks a day, which means it is El Cheapo approved. Fly nonstop to Provo, Utah for all the skiing, snowboarding, or wives you can handle. And of course you can fly into my hometown of San Francisco, San Bernardino International Airport, when airports smell great. thank you ladies and gentlemen hey what's going on crying alley are you ready i love crying alley you little bitch crying alley it's just okay just don't let things bother you too much

good morning everybody hey what up crying alley oh sweet damn it snake did you see that We are live in Los Angeles. Three, two, one. And here we go. Whoa, that is a giant dong. Yay. Because I need a good reason to get out of bed. Got sleep in my eyes, clouds in my head.

I need a shot of something to make my motor go. Yes, I do. So I turn on the flying at a show. Give me some flying at a show. Give me some flying at a show. Get your motor running with the Klein and Halle show I said get your motor running with the Klein and Halle show I like buffoon

It's Klein and Halle show 106.7 KROQFM in HD Pasadena, Los Angeles, Orange County The Sonic Pulse of Los Angeles This is the world-famous K-Rock. Oh, yeah, Thunder Summer's officially underway. Good morning, and welcome to your K-Rock. Welcome to your Klein Alley Show. Welcome to your brand-new week.

All the possibilities ahead, including stuff we have for you in the form of bribery, so that hopefully you make this your home for at least the next four hours plus. If you can't do that, give us 10, 15 minutes of listening. You'll either learn to love us or hate us, or take that three-day challenge that has turned many haters into tolerators. Yeah, I mean, of course we're probably going to say something that's going to offend you at some point or it's going to make you not like us, and that's fine because that happens to us too on a pretty much daily basis. I have perhaps one of the greatest stories to ever share.

Not great for me, by the way, one of the worst moments of my existence, but I think it will be one of the greatest stories that you guys will ever hear and more proof that I am a full-time idiot, and we will get to that coming up a little bit later this morning. But I really mushed myself hard last week. It was like, I think it was Thursday last week, I was making fun of all of the neighbors that were trying to chip in and buy this fox urine to keep the skunks away. Remember that whole thing?

Yes, because you have yet another infestation in your home. Not my home. At least I didn't think of my home. The whole neighborhood. And the neighborhood was complaining about a lot of skunks rolling around, and so people were starting to get in on the fox urine trade, and I was making fun of those losers. Well, I officially was the recipient of getting full-blown skunked.

You got skunked? I mean, it hit. My dog got skunked, but technically I was the one that had to help pry the skunk out of my dog's mouth. Oh, my God. Did he kill it? Didn't kill it, which I thought he did, but then the thing still had enough energy left to spray again. And it was a, just, it's a terrible experience that I still, I mean. So they're just hanging out in your backyard?

This one was in, yeah, this one was in my yard. Was it a baby? Like, how did Jerry get it in his mouth? I think this was a baby one. The tail is misleading because it's so bushy, like Allie's privates. These are huge. It's such a bush there. You don't know what you're dealing with.

Yeah, I know. There's a lot of different colors. When he turned around and I saw, oh, my God, he's got the skunk by the tail, at that point there had been a spray. I could smell spray in the area, but it was not a direct hit. It immediately became a direct hit. How many times can they juice out their ass? Once again, I thought it was like a guy.

I thought there was like a refractory period. You got to have a Gatorade, sit back for a little bit. Yeah, I thought it was like a bee sting where it's like it's a one and done. I think it's more like a woman where they can have multiples. Cool. Yeah, I don't know. Good for them. Good for the scums.

They're all squirters. They all are. So it turns out, great aim. I mean, it was a wild bit of nature to see. But I'll just tell you, Ali, before I go into the specifics, everything I did afterwards, everything was wrong. Like, the five steps I did immediately following that were, after the fact, looking back, I did all of the wrong things. I wouldn't even be able to tell you what you're supposed to do after you get sprayed by a skunk.

Not one of the things I did was the thing you're supposed to do. In fact, some of them were the last things you're supposed to do. And I blame some of you. I blame some of the listeners. I blame some of the internet. I blame pretty much— The only thing that I know from TV is that you're supposed to sauce it. Tomato sauce it.

Right, well— That's supposed to stink us. Didn't have tomato sauce, but I did have spicy Bloody Mary mix. Hot. Oh, my God. And that is apparently not the right thing to do. So we'll get into it. But outside of that, I mean, a Father's Day weekend for many, I'm sure, went great.

And we will make it up to you if you did not have a good Father's Day because we did hold on to one more giant TV. So we can give you the greatest gift that maybe you didn't receive yesterday. You were hoping for it. You didn't get your day of beers and golf and everything else. So we'll make it up to you today with a post-Father's Day giant TV from our friends at TCL, plus the giant mountain of mead as we continue to hook you up with one final gift card to Vons, Albertsons, and Pavilions. And Robertsons.

And Robertsons. What the hell? Let's throw that in the mix. We got lots to give you this morning, all for hanging out with us at KROQ, and we will get into it after Incubus if you need us, 800-520-1067. We are Kline Alley Show. Good morning. KROQ, we are Kline Alley Show. Lots of ways to get involved. 800-520-1067 to call to win and or to text.

507, interesting area code, said, new listener here from Minnesota. Whoa. Recently found your show and I cannot get enough.

I wake up every day excited to listen to the funny crap you guys do. Dozer. You, I don't judge our new listeners,

Vanessa. How dare you? That's just a new person that just discovered the show. Don't know how you discovered the show, but thank you. Once you find us,

please, it is your duty to spread the word, help us grow the show and be a part of this Ponzi scheme. And later this morning, we'll tell you where you're heading to next as part of KROQ's Road Trip USA. We've sent you on plane, and today we send you on bus.

Ha-ha. It only gets better. It gives you an idea of what the budget situation is like here at KROQ. You hear that, Minnesota? You'll be going somewhere pretty close. It's not a bus cross-country, at least. It's a bus, I believe, less than two hours away from where we are right now. It's not a Greyhound.

We don't know about that yet, Ellie. It could be. I think it's a charter bus, a fancy bus, and Postmaster John will be on there. Fancy bus. We'll give you all the details coming up around 8 o'clock, and we have to give that trip away to go see Evanescence in Canada. That will not involve a bus. I think we fly you there. But if you're on the standby list for that, hopefully you answer our call in less than an hour because we've got good news to deliver.

And if you are excited, you know, summer officially started, I think, yesterday. Yes, yesterday was summer. We made it our mission as a show to make this a funner summer. Even if it's forced fun, society is having less fun than ever before. We're saying not the case. Let's go ahead and turn it around this summer. And others in the streets are now pledging to be a part of Funner Summer 2026. what's your name sugar honey iced tea so i don't know if she thought jake was her waiter

or if that is her name but regardless sugar honey iced tea would like to pledge to have a funner summer this summer sugar honey iced tea got the tattoo and everything yeah sugar honey iced tea from where born and raised south central milligan what are you doing this summer to have a funner summer. Mommy trying to turn up this summer, you feel me? Nice. Would you pledge to have a funner summer? Most definitely.

Yeah. I? I. Sugar, honey, ice, tea, baby. Where are they putting their hands, Jake, as you ask them to take an oath, a pledge of funner summer? Oh, you know, hand to God, just right hand up in the air. They don't have to put their hand on you anywhere? No, no, no. Out of curiosity,

where was the sugar, honey, ice, tea tattoo on her body i was down her leg okay all the way down her right leg i would have guessed boob or thigh the whole leg yeah like almost down to like the past the knee yeah that is a long nickname i i sugar honey iced tea baby somaly swear somaly swear i don't think that makes it legally binding if she didn't say solemnly she says somaly somaly swear to have a funner summer To have a lit-ass, funner, tonked-up-ass summer. I love it. That's the energy we're looking for.

So that's the energy we're going to be going for all summer long here at KROQ. Funner music, that's the plan. She even sounded still excited after talking to Jake, which is tough. Never happened before. I mean, it's really remarkable. So giving you a funner summer, that's our guarantee every single morning. If you're not having more fun by listening to this show, let us know. We'll give you your money back on the spot.

In a moment, speaking of money, Ali's is up for grabs. $100. If you want it, call now. 800-520-1067. Five questions about things that happened in the news this weekend. She is very beatable. And if you have no problem beating and taking the money from a pregnant woman, now is a good time to call us at 800-520-1067.

We're back with that after this on KROQ. Next time you guys play Evanescence, bring me to life. Play this message. Miles, meet me down on Skid Row tonight at 7. I need to have a conversation with you. It's getting ridiculous at this point. Oh, my hibiscus. Claim it.

800-520-1067. Those are the numbers. If you're new to the show, listening perhaps for the very first time, and you're wondering what it is we're doing, it's the opportunity for you to gamble on news, actual stories, things that took place. I'm getting a very important phone call today. You're being called to service.

I saw someone trying to win Ali's money. You can't call my cell phone. You've got to call the actual number here at KROQ, and that's 800-520-1067 or 333-TIP-BOLI for all of you slaughters. That's an interesting ringtone. I didn't think anyone had ringtones anymore. I don't even know what that is, to be honest. I think that's whatever it was set up as, and I've kept it that way.

I don't feel like I went through the process of listening and being like, that sums up my personality. Let me go through all these ringtones and choose the one that best speaks to me. If I did, it would be Cardi B probably all the time. Ah, cool. So let's get into it now. Five questions all about the news. Do better than Ali, and instantly she will pay you some of her money. And let me just tell you, there is nothing better than making a little extra free money on a Monday morning for doing nothing at all.

And Ali's here to pay the people as we say hi to people that want your money from all over the place. And I don't blame you. It's hard to get a buck these days. Alberto? Alvaro. Alvaro. We'll go with that. Good morning, Alvaro.

Welcome to KROQ. Hey, thanks. Sweet divots. Sweet divots. Ali's going to leave the KROQ studios. You get to go first. Answer these questions quickly, confidently, and accurately. No cheating.

Let's see how you do. Everyone has had a chance. Ali has put thousands and thousands of dollars on the line. She's probably still paid out. Close to $10,000 for people that have won her money over the years. And it's Alvaro's chance to play and win. And here we go. Allie knows the news.

The U.S. World Cup team had a match over the weekend. Who did they play and what was the score? Who? Who played? Who did the U.S. play and what was the score? Oh, they won 2-0. 2-0 over who? Shoot. I can't remember.

All right. That's half a point only. We go to question number two. This band has announced that it will officially be releasing their own official podcast. It's called Speaking of Tongues. Which band is going to release their own official podcast called Speaking of Tongues? Let's go with Killswitch Engage. I don't know.

Killswitch. We go to question number three. Toy Story obviously won the box office, Toy Story 5. But how many millions of dollars did it make in the North American box office its opening weekend? Oh, man, I saw that movie this weekend, so I want to say $400 million. $400 million. I think that movie got everyone's money. Omar, did that movie get your money, too, this weekend or no?

It didn't. Unfortunately, my kids don't like going to the movies. They don't like the movies. That sucks. I think Allie was there. I think my kids were there. I think it got all of our money. All right, we go to question number four.

It is Allie Knows the News. One contestant wants Allie's cash. And here we go. The LAUSD superintendent has resigned after what happened? He probably had some sort of stuff on his record. I don't know. Stuff on the record? All right.

Shady stuff on the record. I'll write that down. And finally, question number five. Kraft has introduced what as their way of trying to deal with the issue that's been happening at the TSA. Kraft had an issue with one of their products at TSA, and now they have come up with a solution. So what has Kraft officially now released? A TSA safety product that they can put in their bag. I don't know.

Something that's not going to be flagged. Something that will not be flagged. All right. It's Monday morning. I don't expect much from anyone, including myself. So that's okay. You've met my expectations exactly where they were. Let's bring Allie back in.

We'll score it together. You got something right, I think. So let's see how you do. Once again, whoever gets more points gets the money. Allie's playing to hold on to her money. If she loses, she gives it to you. And tomorrow morning at this exact time, if you're feeling like dealing with fun or summer

with a little extra cash in your pocket, you're more than welcome to call and take Allie's money every morning right now on KROQ. All right, Allie, here we go. The U.S. had themselves a World Cup match over the weekend. Who did they play? What was the score? Oh, yikes.

They played a match of soccer. Oh, boy. On Friday against a team. And that team was... Are you speaking slow, hoping he comes to you? Or do you have no idea? I can't remember. Norway?

Great guess. And what was the score? They scored some points. Yep. They scored two points. So what do you think the final score was? Two to zero. All right, somehow Allie guessed the final score exactly right.

Two-zero was the score. They played Australia. Oh, that's right. And also, he got that as well, got the score, did not get the team. So both of you get the, we'll give you both a point on that, whatever. Two-zero to Australia. Well done, Team USA. As we go to question number two, question two.

This band is officially announced. they'll be releasing an official podcast that's called Speaking of Tongues. Which band is going to be releasing their own podcast called Speaking of Tongues? God, who is it? Is it Kiss? See, that's a great guess because that at least makes sense.

Yeah, I saw this too and I can't remember. When you think of bands and you think of tongues, especially as being part of the logo of the band, you'd probably think of the Rolling Stones, and that is the answer, the Rolling Stones. So no one gets the point there. And we go to question number three. But imagine the stories they have, if they can remember them all.

Just imagine the stories they could tell. Question three. Or one of his modern day stories. Toy Story. Toy Story took a lot of our money this weekend. It was the top movie in America by a long shot. But exactly how many millions did it bring in the North American box office? Oh, North American?

70 million. He said 400 million. The correct answer, 160 million dollars. So Allie's too low and you're too high. And I don't really know. I'm not going to do math at this point. So let's just say you both got it wrong. And we go to this next question.

Still tied up. I can't believe you're still in this one. Still has a chance to take Ali's money. Kraft has just introduced a new item to try to combat what has been happening with their products at TSA. So what is it that Kraft has introduced this past weekend? Isn't it like a TSA-approved ranch box or some crap? They have come up with their own TSA-approved ranch dressing for all of our foreigners that have discovered ranch while visiting for World Cup, that they can now bring these little nips of ranch on the plane and chug them down at their own leisure.

And now the story has become lame. Now the story is hilarious. A bunch of people that have, like, I have a ranch problem, and they're pulling these little nips out of their pockets and going to town. They just have hundreds of ranch nips. This guy, like, got them all taped to him, like those people that try to sneak canaries in, you know, all taped to their bodies. All right, final question. Allie just went up one. The LAUSD superintendent has resigned after what happened.

It's a big story as of today. Breaking news as we speak. Oh, yeah. You know, I know there was some kind of an FBI investigation, but I don't know what happened with it. I'm going to go with embezzlement. Okay. We don't know the reason. FBI investigation is what I was looking for.

Alfonso said something shady in the records, which may or may not be the reason for the investigation. We don't know. Regardless, you both get whatever on that one, so let's just call it. We get whatever. Allie wins by one. And what must you shamefully admit, Alfonso, after Allie puts her money back in her pocket right now? Oh, my God.

It's Alvaro. And my name's Alvaro. I'm out of here. I messed up my name. You said my name like three times. All right. I said it three times. Allen, thank you for playing.

That's the most important thing. Yeah, thank you. Klein lost. Allie knows the news worse than anybody today. I got more questions wrong, and I wasn't even playing. It's amazing. What's his name? Allen Wrench?

Allen Wrench. 262 on the text line wants to let us know, guys, I discovered your show a couple of months ago in a county jail in Wisconsin. What? I listen every day. You guys make it great, make my day better. Almost worth killing all those kids.

Oh. No, he didn't write that last part. Okay. I hope he's in there for a text. Probably wrongfully accused. I don't think we have that theme song anymore for his client, Dummy, and I'm glad we got rid of it

because you would have had plenty of chances to use it during this next story I'll share with you, which is more of a warning to anyone else who plans on being outside at any point this summer. And I know that summer is the season that everyone likes to go outside because things are nice. Summer is the summer. Summer is the summer is what they say, Allie.

It's a very well-known phrase. It's my favorite catchphrase of the year. I had a very, for the first time, I'd like to admit, and yes, I've smelled skunks many times and have had skunks in yards before and have had to have people help come and trap skunks before. I imagine you've also blamed pot smoke on a skunk many times. Oh, yeah.

That was the best. I mean, I remember when I... When they didn't know the difference? Yeah, and I remember when I was like a camp counselor, and kids would be like, what is that? And I'd be like, oh, I was out there wrestling a skunk. Don't worry, you're safe. But it was just weed, you know?

So skunks helped me get out of a bind every once in a while. You had to say you were wrestling it. Yeah, I don't know why. That was my go-to. I guess I didn't want to... Oh, just rolling around with a skunk. I didn't want to think the skunk kicked my ass, so I wanted to let these young, impressionable kids know.

Yeah, you had to look brave. And they probably, when they realized later... That man wrestled a skunk. But it's funny because there is a time in your life when you realize what weed is and you smell weed. And you're like, oh, I've been smelling that everywhere. Oh, I thought my uncle just lived with lots of skunks and I realized he just loves weed. Yeah. And then you have the unfortunate encounter and apparently now, I'm not the only one who's saying this,

there are skunks that are, they must have had some sort of a skunk orgy or something because they are popping up all over the place. Now, more than ever, and people are saying that they're coming out earlier. Like, they come out right around. Used to be they were more like a nocturnal. They would come out at night. Now, as soon as it gets like 435, as soon as the sun even starts to go down just a little bit, all the skunks just start cruising the streets like a gang.

I've never seen one in my life. What? Allie, they're everywhere now. I mean, I'm not even just saying my street, my neighborhood, my yard. It sounds like it. No, because even as I was driving this weekend, I saw more dead skunks on the road. I've seen them dead. Right.

Never seen an alive one. So for every dead one you see, there's probably a thousand more that you didn't see that were cruising around. They're like the kids on the e-bikes this time of year. They're just taking over neighborhoods. So now they probably all made it, and now this is like the baby boom, the skunk baby boom? I think it's skunk baby boom time is what's happening now. And I had a terrible, unfortunate encounter where everything was calm and I had a moment where I realized it's a long weekend, it's a Father's Day weekend, I'm going to do something for myself. And at a very unlikely time, I went into my gummy shoebox where I keep all my gummies and I said, I'm going to have two gummies now.

One for fun and one for even more fun. And I don't usually do that, but it was a moment where... Just weed or one of those magic-y ones? Both weed, different strengths, and I decided I'm going to really – now it's like the weekend can – it's a summer weekend. It just felt like the timing is right. Just now I'm going to take a gummy. You know, in 45 minutes, things are about to get fun. I know that nothing is going to alter the course of my night, so I am going to comfortably take these nummies, gummies.

Nummy gummies. Is Klein a dummy? You have to redo that to say, is Klein a nummy? You did find it. Great. Uh-huh. Uh, and as I, um, take the man, I have a moment where I, it's about three second moment where I go, this is about to be a nice relaxing night and I deserve it.

And then I hear my dog who's in the backyard, who was pawing to get out, pawing, pawing to get out. I finally opened the door so we can go out to gate as we can't run anywhere. And he's barking aggressively, which he does sometimes at dogs that walk by. And this time seems like it's a great neighbor. Thank you. It seems like a more aggressive bark than normal. So I say, usually I can just say, Jerry, treat.

That's all I got to say. Jerry, treat. And he'll come running for the treat. This particular time, Jerry, treat. Jerry, treat. Jerry, treat. He's not moving. He's still barking.

Jerry, treat. Jerry, treat. He's not doing anything. Jerry, treat. I sometimes got to go up with the voice. Treat. Didn't, nothing. Still barking.

You just had your treats. I just had my treats. Clyde, treat. Clyde, not me. So I go outside and I see that he is really fixated on something in a bush, like really fixated on it. And this has happened before occasionally with an old toy that he finds and he's trying to get out of there. Sometimes he hides his own bones there. He's trying to get them back.

So I don't really think much of it. Have your nummies kicked in at this point? No, I just took them. I had just taken them and they hadn't kicked in yet, but I was at that point where I was like, I'm past the point of no return. So I'm just waiting now for my night to get fun And so I say Hey Jerry stop being so dumb And get in there and have a treat or something like that

And then I go in and I sit down on the couch He's still kind of barking at this thing And then I smell The terrible skunk The undeniable smell of a skunk So you didn't investigate what he was looking at You just decided to yell at him differently Yeah I yelled at him differently

And then I decided I was getting tired from all the yelling So I wanted to go sit on the couch I deserve this And then I smell the skunk smell, and it's a pretty bad smell. Strong, but I, and I just, as an idiot, I go, oh, man. I think to myself, wow, some sucker's night just got worse. That's the thought I have. Like someone got sprayed, a jogger, a biker or something.

Is Klein a dummy? I'd hate to be that guy. And then I hear, I did say, like, I'd hate to be that guy. That's literally the thought I have. And then I hear Jerry, and his barks have gone to less of an aggressive bark and more of a bark slash kind of whimpery thing. Oh, no. So I go, oh, man, this guy, he must be smelling this, too. This must be terrible.

So I walk out, and he turns his head, and in his mouth, holding it by the tail, he's got this little skunk. A baby one? It looks like it's a baby skunk. And he's holding it, and I go. Is it dead? No. Well, hanging there looks lifeless almost, so I assume that the skunk is either dead or that he picked up a dead skunk, and that's where the smell came from, or maybe he dug up a skunk that, I don't know, got buried. So I go, Jerry, drop, drop, drop, and I'm yelling, Jerry's got a skunk, Jerry's got a skunk, and my wife's – people must think I'm just like a hulk.

Jerry's got a skunk. So he will not let go of the thing So I have to walk over to him And I go to pry His jaws open And when I pry the jaws open The thing drops And then immediately

Bolts And sprays him Right in the face The defense mechanism It probably just played dead Until it got dropped down So I kind of do this move Like in the Matrix

where, like, I see the skunk spray coming, and I kind of slow-mo, like, move out of the way of the bullet. But it hits Jerry right in the face and in the mouth. And does he react at all? Oh, yeah. He starts doing some weird thing where he's, like, trying to rub the smell off. Like, his whole body he's now rubbing, like, all over the ground.

Like, having, like, a weird... Like, he's doing, like, snow angels on PCP. Man, what an amazing defense mechanism for that animal just to be able to spray your ass into somebody's face. What a unique skill. And the smell, which I've smelled a million times before, I've never smelled at this level. So now I go.

That is insane. It's really intense. It is so intense that it almost gets past the point of bad. It never gets to good. But it gets past the, oh, God, that's a gross skunk smell because it's so powerful that it overpowers its own smell. Like it singes your nostrils. It singes you.

Yeah, you can't even smell what you're smelling. So my immediate move at this point is I realize now i've got a dog that's been sprayed in the face by a skunk in my backyard so i grab as soon as he rubs his body all over the ground i pick him up and i walk into the house with him which is not a great choice by the way the first thing that i did wrong that is the first thing you're not supposed to do is bring the animal inside i thought then your whole house smells right for a while yeah for oh still right now to this moment oh no so i i carry him inside thinking that i'm I'm sort of a hero.

Then I immediately put him into the shower and I start washing him with the skunk trying to use the water to get all the skunk off him. Oh, where's that dummy thing? By the way, is the second thing that you are not supposed to do. What, wash it off with water? Is Klein a dummy?

Because you can't do it. Because it's oil based. Thank you, Jake. Wish I had known that. Because apparently when you wash it, all it does is it spreads the smell much wider than it really was. Like when you eat hot peppers or something or you drink water, it just spreads. So I'm 0 for 2, and then I've got my wife yelling in the other room, and the kids are now up, and they're going, what happened?

She goes, Jerry got sprayed by a skunk, and now she's up, and then I'm starting to feel the gummies start to kind of have their way with me, and then she says, you need to get tomato juice. So now I've got, I run into the fridge. The closest thing I have is. Is she just yelling from the couch? She's all the way upstairs because the smell is so bad. You've got to get tomato juice, honey.

So I run into the fridge. I have Bloody Mary mix, hot Bloody Mary mix. That's all I've got. Don't have tomato juice. I'm not my grandmother. Yeah, who just has tomato juice sitting around? Alls are not supposed to do that either. So I get this hot Bloody Mary mix.

Are we just glossing over the fact that Jake knows way too much about skunks? Well, Jake is an outdoor smelly guy. He should know these things. Yeah, I have a competition with skunks all the time. Right. Who can spray the ass faster? I tell you, as a guy who's been jaked many times before, it's pretty bad too. Have I ever had a dog get skunked before?

I start to go back with this Bloody Mary mix, and I go, it's not tomato juice, but there's tomato in there. it'll probably work. And then I have a moment where I go, I don't know, it says hot jalapeno. It's going to probably burn them. I'm not doing it.

And then I had a moment of genius where I remembered, and I don't know where I heard this, but someone said you're supposed to put peanut butter on them. What? Who said that?

I don't remember where I heard it, but I remember... That's even worse than tomato juice. So I go... That just makes it a big mess. So I go back, and luckily I had plenty of peanut butter to pick from,

and I start spreading peanut butter on them because I heard someone said something about the oils. The peanut butter does something with the oils. Is that the kind that has oil on the top? Well, no, the oils of the skunk spray.

Oh, got it, got it, got it, okay. Then I realized, after I put peanut butter on him, that that's his favorite thing in the world. So now he is just trying to eat himself. He's got peanut butter on him, and he's just trying to lick himself. And he's still in the shower at this point? And rolling around, he's in the shower, and then peanut butter's on the wall of the shower, so he's licking that. So he's not sitting still. He's going crazy with the peanut butter.

Then I Google, are you supposed to put peanut butter on a skunk spray? And I can find no evidence that this exists anywhere. How are you just now Googling? Yeah, because I'm, Allie, the smell is getting so powerful by the moment that if I don't do things, I'm getting, I'm like at a point now where I'm gagging. Right. The smell of skunk is. And you're high. And I'm now getting high.

And I had some of the peanut butter. Oh, nice. And the Bloody Mary mix. Little for me, little for you. So then I realized that at some point I thought someone told me peanut butter and I don't know if they said that to mess with me or I made that up in my head. There's no evidence on the entire internet. Google literally wouldn't finish the phrase that you're not supposed to put peanut butter

on a skunk spray. ChatGPT's just like, I got nothing for you. So I go through all of it, and once again, the only thing I'm supposed to do at this point, other than the things I already did wrong, was stay outside. You're supposed to make some sort of a weird hydrogen peroxide mix.

Oh, that makes sense. With dish soap, and I have none of these items in my house. I don't have hydrogen peroxide. I had dish soap, but I don't have baking powder. I had the other baking thing, baking soda. You know, we never had the right one. It's always the wrong one.

It's always the wrong one. Why? I said, don't worry, we got that. It's soda, we need powder, damn it. And they're, like, vastly different. Right, so I didn't have that. Unbelievable. So I now have a task rabbit bringing over the stuff I need

because I'm covered in peanut butter and skunk spray and Bloody Mary mix. My wife's upstairs trying to calm the kids down. I'm starting to get very high, very, very high. And I realize at this moment, this is now, this is my weekend now. And I don't know what to do other than I'm sitting in this shower. So wait, the tasker is just making a solution and bringing it over? They're not making it. They're bringing it over.

The tasker is, I put in a tasker, not a tasker, an Instacart of those two items. Oh, I see, I see. Okay. And then I get the note, items are at the front door, and I have to now go and make this concoction like a science experiment to now rub all over my dog but apparently once you've done all the other things i did wrong cancels out the it doesn't work because you've already screwed the whole thing up you've already probably solidified it into his skin so now we are this happened on friday night now we are on whatever day this is and um the dog still stinks so is he

sleeping outside you can't let him in the house no i that night i tried after multiple shampoos and multiple treatments i said let's go to bed he slept with his face right by my face My wife threw us both out of the bed She goes you guys both have to be in the garage It stinks so now the two of us sleep On a couch downstairs Where you belong And I feel about right

And as a warning to all parties involved If you get skunked then you probably will this summer You probably will No we won't We're definitely not You're the only idiot Do the opposite of everything I just did But sleeping on the couch

Endless nummies Nicole? Hey. Hey, we got to take a break. What's up? I'm calling from Cleveland. I miss you guys like crazy. Douche.

Douche works so good for Scott. Are you just calling Klein a douche? Correct. That's correct. Absolutely. Are you saying I need to go buy douche now for my dog? He's got an endless supply. Already there.

All right. Well, thank you for that insult. All right. Let's do some news. Then officially, we will give away this trip to go see Evanescence in Canada the second we're done with the news. They'll tell you where we'll be heading to next. And if you remember, Allie, last time we chatted with Amy Lee of Evanescence, she said this to us. Thank you very much.

I am very happy to be here. There's nowhere I'd rather be. Clearly, she's a liar because she said all that to us. But anyway, you'll get to go see her band in Canada if you win this trip. And again, at the Forum in July right here in Los Angeles. Now, your news. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News.

Last Wednesday, a fire broke out at a cold storage facility in Boyle Heights, and it seemed like by the end of the day, they'd gotten the whole thing under control. They did some water drops on the roof, and then we didn't hear much about it. Then all of a sudden, it became a huge problem again. It was kind of an on-again, off-again fire. Now they've declared a state of emergency, and the biggest issue is the 85 million pounds of rotting meat that could turn into a biohazard. Because it is a cold storage facility, emphasis on the word cold,

Obviously, things are not getting cold anymore because the building's on fire. So all this meat is now rotting away inside of the building as the fridges get warmer and warmer. But the fire department said, don't worry about it. Quote, it would be a horrible odor. But what we're looking at is what those gases could produce or create. It's terrible on Father's Day to hear about all this meat going to waste. Yeah, we've been giving away mountains of meat, and we'll continue doing that today. Not from this mountain.

Not from this mountain. We're going to be a fresh mountain of meat. But you would think, just like, you know, when they did the big drug confiscations and they light up all those pounds of weed on fire. What a travesty to watch all that go to waste. Why would you do that? You've got to figure out which way the wind is blowing so you can stand there and catch yourself a nice little secondhand high. But why would they not? If they've got all this meat and the place on fire, a great opportunity to just turn it into like an unexpected summer barbecue.

Right. The fire's there. The meat's there. Bring a plate. Bring your favorite sauce. And this is what's going on low and slow, baby. That's right. It's how you do a good brisket.

Low and slow since Wednesday. Oh, man, that's probably so tender. Falls right off the bone. Oh, that's good stuff. They are handing out masks and air purifiers in the area to try and help people. And I know that the smell of rotting meat is very bad, but the smell of cooking meat is very, very good. There was a guy, our neighbor was smoking something yesterday for like 12 hours. I was like, I'm going to find another excuse to go outside.

When that headline first broke, I thought it said fire broke out at a Cold Stone Creamery. And I was so upset about that because I was like, oh, my God, the travesty. And then when I saw it was a cold storage facility, I kind of was like, all right, I've lost interest. But now that I know there's meat there, now I feel bad again. Summer has officially begun. Yesterday was summer solstice. And to celebrate, it's going to be hot as balls this week. This is another warning, a heat warning through Thursday.

Forecasters are, quote, warning Southern Californians to brace for the incoming heat wave. I don't know that anyone is going to brace and what that would look like. But the Grand Canyon has gotten so hot that three hikers have already died. All of them were in their golden years, I will say, 60s and 70s. And as we know, heat is kryptonite for old people. They don't like heat. Here's our weather for today. Time for your official Klein Alley Show weather check.

Today will be hot as balls. My balls are hot. And now, back to Klein Alley Show on KROQ. So as we have learned through this show that balls are not that hot. I believe they're at a 97 degrees. By the way, what are we considering heat wave nowadays? Because I show that it's not even going to hit 90. Well, I think they said 90s in most of the inland areas.

But I think they even said that the coasts are... I'm looking at my neighborhood. My neighborhood says that the hottest day is going to be like 88. Yeah, but I just heard on the radio it's going to be hottest balls. Well, it's also that it's much hotter this time of year than it normally is. I think that's why they're sensationalizing everything because... Listen, tell me when it's going to hit 100. Don't bother me with this 90s stuff.

I think in my area, it's probably going to be close to 100. Is it really? Yes, it gets so hot there. It feels like it's the center of the sun. When they get their first, you know, everyone's so starved for weather news around here. Yeah, they freak out. So they just look for anything to be like, all right, it's not going to be 75 and pleasant again. Well, and this is the number one break room small talk story.

It's all you can talk to people about. So, of course, this is what they have to share. It's so stupid because it's summer now, okay? So this is expected. Oh, it's hot. Is it not hot? Jesus Christ. Oh, he got a little break from it all.

Get into a brand new hour of the show right now, and the Weather Small Talk will continue. It's Clyde Alley Show. Low six points. This is the world famous K-Rock. Good morning. Welcome to Monday. You have found us either by accident or on purpose. Either way, thanks for being here.

I'm Clyde. There's Alley. Hello. That is DJ Omar Khan right there. Hey, hey. Audio Sniper, as he's known in these parts. Then you got Jake the Nerd back there. What's that?

Postmaster Johnny and Vanessa. Very excited about all things World Cup. taking your calls at 800-520-1067. Usually, we take your incoming calls and give you stuff. Every once in a while, we get to make an outgoing call. Company hates that

because they got a really crappy phone plan here, so they told us no more calling long distance, no more calling international, just nice local people right here in Southern California. And we've got a list that we've been putting together for the last week.

All people that have qualified to go see Evanescence as part of KROQ's Road Trip USA, even though you'll be going on a plane and leaving the USA, so don't fault us for naming it poorly. We just don't put a lot of thought into things around here. Well, you pointed that out to our boss, and he was kind of like, what?

Okay, so what? Yeah, I know. It's like, well, it's not a road trip, and it's not America. But other than that, I'm sure people will love it. So let's go ahead and give someone a call right now. A lot of names on this list. I don't know who's going to win. I hope it's you.

And if you don't answer right now, we'll just call someone else. And if you're not on this list and you want to win a trip, then you want to hang on because we have more news to give you in a moment as to where you'll be heading to next. with a blank piece of paper looking for your name. I really hope for this person's sake they answer because... Hello, thank you for...

Oh, no. Hello? Is this a robot? Hello? Hello? Hi, have we been screened? Client Alley Show. Thank you for calling Evolution.

Oh. Evolution. Oh, man. Let me make sure I dialed the... Hello, is there a person there? This can't be right. Did a robot win this trip? That would be amazing if we gave away our first trip to a robot.

Oh, my. I'm so excited. Canada, never been. I'm going to try the number one more time, and if not, we move on, Allie. This is what happens from time to time around here. I would hate if my big fat fingers cost someone this trip of a lifetime. That's how you know this is not planned. Yeah, that's right.

This is live radio. Good radio? No. Live radio? Yes. Very big difference right there. Non-human. And I know that they would say things to us like, guys, do this off the air.

No one wants to sit around and listen to the phone ring and wait to see if a person picks up. And I get it, but this is very important if we're giving stuff away. Hello? Hi, this is Kira. Are we live? Is this a person? Are you a robot? No, I'm definitely real.

Prove it. Hello, my name is Kira, and I am a real person. And robots can't fly, right? Yeah, they can't. Click all the crosswalks. Now click them again. Wait, what? Oh, see, I knew it.

Hey, Kira, good news. You are the right name that has been pulled off of this list, which means it's Klein Alley. We're live on KROQ with good news to deliver for you. You're heading to Canada to see Evanescence. That's so insane. That is so, so insane. I don't even know what to say right now.

That's so amazing. She's definitely human. Robots would know what to say. Yeah, they would. Yeah, they haven't figured out how to be speechless. I mean, that is just incredible. I'm going to cry. Evanescence means everything to me.

Like, Amy is my childhood savior. Like, this is so incredible. Well, here's the details, and I would love to let you ramble on, but I know you're going through all the emotions right now, and we almost moved on and called someone else. I'm glad we gave you another shot. You'll be seeing Evanescence in Montreal on June 30th, and again in July at the Kia Forum.

Congratulations for winning KROQ's Road Trip USA. Wow, thank you. KROQ, Klein Alley Show. Just gave away a trip to a very satisfied KROQ listener who will be heading to Montreal to see Evanescence, her childhood hero. And now we give you the chance to travel somewhere a little closer to home, and we're actually putting the road trip back on the road. You'll be getting onto a bus and heading to Santa Barbara with Postmaster Johnny.

We were going to call this the Batty Bus, and it was going to be all Batty's and Johnny, and then we decided maybe we'd make it a Banger Bus. Regardless, we don't know what type of bus. Everyone bangs Johnny. Everyone bangs Johnny. Regardless, it's going to be a bus. And then we talked about, did we ever get approval on doing the singles bus to Santa Barbara? because then we thought, oh, let's just fill the bus with single people.

I think we got silence, which I feel like is a good thing. So here's the important thing is that if you qualify throughout the day today at KROQ, and that will be at 9, noon, 3, and 6, you will get yourself tickets onto what they're calling the KROQ party bus. So they didn't go with our ideas. Because it's more legal friendly than banger bus. And you will be heading up to Santa Barbara for KROQ's Road Trip USA destination number 5 to see. you and royal otis and a bus full of k-rock partiers will be heading to santa barbara

Beautiful there this time of year, I was told. Not hottest balls. And if you'd like to win your way in, you'll have chances at 9, noon, 3, and 6 all week long to get on the bus. I think it's a win, you're in. On the bus and going to Santa Barbara to see them. Last year, Royal Otis played our endless summer barbecue. And they're a good time. We would love you to get a chance to go see them in Santa Barbara.

And we will be giving away bonus trips every day this week on our show. And today, I believe the question will be in honor of it still being Pride Month, Even though Allie is so upset because she believes that the World Cup has stolen all of her pride thunder. She says, get out of here, foreigners. It's my month. And I was like, whoa, Allie, crazy. So, but the point is, is that today, in honor of Johnny being the ringleader of this boss, we're going to ask you what is the gayest thing about you, regardless if you identify as straight. Everyone has something about them.

Oh, yeah, gay, straight, does not matter. Everybody has something gay about them. There are a lot of straight, very, very straight men out there who get regular pedicures. Right. So you tell us what it is, and that could score you a bonus spot on the bus. So we'll be giving away bonus spots on the bus to Santa Barbara with Royal Otis. And that's going to be happening all week. If you want to win the old-fashioned way and don't want to share any stories, you can just call the station at 9, noon, 3, and 6.

And then you can finally be one of those people in L.A. who says, I've got to get up to Santa Barbara, and then actually does. Got to get up to Santa Barbara. Everyone always says, God, I've got to get up there. It's so beautiful up there. I don't know. Let's do something this summer. I think I'm going to go to Santa Barbara. I never go up there.

We always talk about it. And then in September, how about Santa Barbara? Ah, we never did it. No, we never. We've got to get up to Santa Barbara. So we'll give you the chance to win that trip, and we'll take care of your travel, your show, and everything else coming up. Quick break.

Back in a moment with an opportunity for you to have a Father's Day redo. Did your Father's Day suck yesterday? Maybe you were sitting in a shower with a skunked dog and a jar of peanut butter. Or maybe it sucked for other reasons. We would like to give you the gift that you didn't get yesterday. You wanted something, maybe you asked for a golf club, and instead you got a homemade macaroni card. We have for you a giant TV.

It's the final of our giant TVs to give away. Plus, we'll give you that mountain of meat. And we're looking for all of the stories as to why you had a Father's Day fail yesterday so we can turn it around and make it a positive experience today. 800-520-1067. We're going to come back with those stories and give away this final TV next. And then, Allie, the grand prize winner. All these dads who qualified got themselves $100 worth of meat.

But today, someone's going to get $500. Oh, my gosh. We have so much to do today. Lots to give you. The bribery runs thick. And we will come back with that and more after this. All right. Let's give away a giant TV to a dad who is deserving of one.

Or maybe you're not a dad necessarily, but you identify as one. I always thought the Monday after Father's Day should be Other Father's Day, where we celebrate all of the stepdads and the absentee dads. Oh, I wished all my stepdads a happy Father's Day. I don't think they get, like, the real day. But, like, I think the Monday after is, like, the appropriate for, like, the, maybe you had some mouth babies or maybe you're, like, Jake. Or like a dad. People who are just like a dad to you.

Yeah, dad-like. Yeah. The other, all the kind of other dads get the Monday after. Like, Jake, you know, considers himself a dad because of his dog, Kibby. Not a dad. People say that. I don't say that. Yeah.

People don't say that. Anybody who wished you a happy Father's Day, Jake, is an idiot. There is numerous. Ridiculous. Who wished you a happy Father's Day? All sorts of, like, Instagram followers, all sorts of people. Did they preface the fact? Those aren't real people.

Yeah, yeah, those aren't real people. All sorts of digital bots. I got tons of messages. Like, hey, you're a great dog dad, blah, blah, blah. See, that's why. He needs the Monday after. We take all the rest, all the others. No, he doesn't even get that.

No, Jake gets the Tuesday after. I'll take it. Who's left? Dog dads. I was so inspired last week by us giving away these TVs and hearing just how happy it made the dads that won them. that I was sitting there and I thought to myself, you know what?

My dad's TV sucks. He had a 40-inch TV in his living room. In his living room? And the only reason he had a 40-inch TV is because I gave him that five years ago when he had a 27-inch TV. And I said, this is pathetic, dude. You got to step it up.

So he had this crappy 40-inch TV that I'd gotten and that I didn't think it would even last very long. It was definitely not a good brand. And I was so inspired by how happy people were giving away the 75-inch TVs that I sent my dad a TV. What size? 75 inches.

Nice. Not an inch less. I said that's the number. Everyone wants it. Everyone's excited. TC, I went with the one we're giving away, dude. I got so inspired by it. Oh, I thought you went with something else.

I went with, no, I went with the exact one that we're giving away, and I got no deal. I didn't steal one from a listener. I paid full price. Yeah, why didn't you call Uncle Scott, by the way? Yeah, he's a dumbass. I didn't think about that. He's got them coming out of his butt. The exact ones that we're giving out for free all week.

But he was so excited when the thing arrived, and he kept, he's a guy, I don't need anything guy, and he was so excited, and now I have become 24-7 tech support for him with every question. Oh, yes, that is true, because they're smart TVs. They need a lot of connecting. It's a disaster. There's a lot of account activation that needs to happen. I'm thinking about having them come back and pick it up today, because it's just nothing

but ever since it was questions about how to get it out of the box. What are you FaceTiming? Oh, a lot of FaceTiming. Him holding up cords, saying, what does this cord do? One of the cords he held up was the, was Allie, I'm not kidding you, was the curtain. He was holding up a cord, and the cord he thought he was holding up and asking where he needed to plug it into was part of the window curtain. I said, Dad, that's part of a curtain, man. It's not a cord.

You don't have to plug that in. So, if you do give this TV to a father in your life, and he's, you know, north of 70, just be on the, be on the, Be able to set it up for him. Be on the understanding that he may try to plug a window curtain into it to get it going. Let's say hi now to all these people that's father's days did not go according to plan. And let's go ahead and make someone's Father's Day instantly better, even if it is the day after. And we kick things off right now with Kelsey. Good morning, Kelsey.

What's up? Good morning. How are you guys? Doing fine. What was up with your Father's Day? Yeah, I mean, besides the Father's Day that my grandfather passed away, yesterday my dad accidentally stopped watching the grill and all of the meat burned. So we ended up having to order takeout.

Oh, that's such a shameful moment for a dad, too, because they have such pride in their barbecue skills. He just abandoned his task? He did, and I think where he went wrong, he didn't wear, you know how fathers, like, typically wear those sandals? They have, like, the grilling shoes. I think because he didn't have his grilling shoes on yesterday. He wasn't in grill mode. That was just the first of many mistakes, exactly. I think it's weird on Father's Day, because usually grilling, you know, that's when you step up.

But on Father's Day, you also go, like, I guess this is kind of the day that if I'm ever going to, like, let others relax. And then you go, oh, wait, that's right. No one else knows how to flip a burger. That's on me. And now you have to order takeout, which is expensive. And you lost all that meat. That's sad, by the way, all that meat burning. That's a bad one.

All right. Well, we may have to give him a giant TV. Let's say hi to Jared. Good morning, Jared. Why was your Father's Day absolutely ruined? Sorry. Good morning, guys. Good morning.

Uh, so, uh, yesterday for father's day, my family took me out to eat and my son, uh, pooped on me. Uh, was he wearing a diaper or he just flat out pooped? Was he 20 or? No, he's, he's two years old, but he's in this phase where he's taking off his diaper and, uh, at the restaurant, he took it off and it, uh, like dripped out of his pants and that's what I was wearing. That restaurant still have an A in the window or do they have to replace that with a B or

a C after that happened? uh well i didn't tell anyone at the restaurant i kind of just got up and went in the restaurant yeah that's hey you're replacing our a with a two what is that about uh baby baby crapped his dad at booth number four earlier all right uh that's uh that's a terrible also par for the course though with the two yeah but getting crapped on you think of all the days it's going to happen father's day that's kind of one of those things where it's poetic in some ways it's beautiful because you're like yep i'm a dad now it does depend on when that happens too before the meal or after the meal Before the meal, that's worse, I would think.

Celebrating your Father's Day fails, the nice thing is one of you will go ahead and turn that bad day into something great because you will be getting a giant TV and a bunch of meat. You can buy whatever the hell you want. We recommend nothing but meat at Vons Albertsons Pavilions with a giant gift card. And then Vanessa says all of the dads who won these TVs from us last week, including today, were all written down. One of them is going to get picked, and they're going to get an additional $500 to buy all the meat and or booze they need. Michael on KROQ, good morning. Hey, good morning. Sweet divots. What happened? Uh, yeah, I, my, I worked on father's day,

but before that I got woken up by my wife saying she drank too much. So she had to go to the hospital, took her to the hospital, stood there a while, dropped, uh, had a lead to go to work, then come back. My older daughter went to go pick her up from the hospital. She forgot it's father's day went to her boyfriend's house to spend his the day with him my younger daughter forgot that it was even father's day too and then i didn't get no text or nothing to say father's day then when i get back home my wife's all like oh i forgot my prescription i need to go back to the hospital go back to the hospital and that's how i spent my father's day and yeah never not one person in your entire family sent you a text a gave you a coffee nothing nothing nothing so

Annie worked, by the way, on top of everything else. Annie worked and had to go to the hospital multiple times, and then you had to pick up your wife's prescription just because she drank too much? She sounds fun. Hey, Art, good morning. Welcome to KROQ. Hey, how you doing?

How was your father's day? Spent it on the soccer field, took her kid to a game, you know, tournament on Father's Day, why not? They won, had to wait a few hours to see if we're going to play the next game. we did lost that game and then got home around six o'clock no breakfast no lunch just soccer fields all day you know i know people say that you should be i thought this was over isn't soccer over it's never over oh for club no it's never over just when you think oh i think i just got a weekend maybe or maybe i get this month no you don't there's some sort of an alert

about something in the face it's that sounds terrible so he was just at a soccer field all and then you have to wait around for hours just to find out if you're going to play again? Yep, yep. And I know people are saying, oh, that's what you do. That's part of being a dad. But, boy, it does seem if you want to live your life in Camarillo, that's something. It's always Camarillo, isn't it? Plenty of room out there.

Unless you live in Camarillo, in which case it's an hour away from there. It's just endless soccer fields. Don't make sure your tournament is always an hour away from where you are. Hugo, why did you have a terrible Father's Day? Hi. Hi, good morning. So yesterday was actually my father-in-law's birthday. So, we spent the day celebrating him.

Oh, he was a more important father? I guess so, yeah. That is so sucks when you got kind of overshadowed by a different dad. So, you were there, and you're also a dad, but there was no mention of you, no anything. Everything was about the father-in-law, because it was the birthday. So, he trumped you. Yeah, it was his birthday. So, we went out to where he wanted to, we took him out for breakfast, where he wanted to go for lunch.

And then, you know, still, we still ended up getting him a birthday cake later on in the day. Did anyone mention at any point, hey, Hugo is also a dad. Like, were your kids there as well? Even like a cheers. Yeah, my kids were there. But, you know, they're two and four. So, you know, they don't really have a good understanding of father's day just yet. Yeah, it sucks at that point.

You didn't even get a card? That's rough. Elise on KROQ. Women can have bad father's days too. Hi. Hi. So, we went bowling with my dad. And he was winning.

and then all of a sudden my brother beat him because he got four strikes in a row and then we ended up um we forgot to give him his card and then we didn't give it to him until like five o'clock so you beat him in bowling the one thing that he was probably going to live off of for a year of bragging rights and then at the end your little brother got four strikes in a row and your dad lost at his own bowling tournament yeah oh but i think my brother beat him twice yeah when you're on a hot streak you can't i can't you can't go back i mean you're a pretty good bowler client if you're getting four strikes in a row that's like the best you've ever done the best bowling story that ever happened was courtesy of the show and blind charlie accidentally threw a

ball into ali's lane and ruined her entire perfect game as she claimed i was doing amazing until that happened and mike on k rock last one we got to give away this tv there's a lot of dads here that claim their day was ruined yesterday what's up mike hey good morning guys we did it uh so yesterday It was my first Father's Day ever. My son's just about to turn one, so we had my in-laws come over. And, of course, they brought their two small Pomeranian dogs with them. One of them ended up biting my son on the head. Oh!

So I had to leave the truck. Where were you at, Dad? Yeah, well, that's your fault. Oh, okay. No, you were doing the other job. So you're on the grill, the Pomeranian bites your baby kid on the head, and then what? So we ended up going to the urgent care. Spent a few hours there, getting flushed out.

Once that's done, I still have to go to a 24-hour pharmacy, pick up some medication for him and everything. That was a fun day. Came home to a cold plate of tri-tip and went to bed. Cold plate of tri-tip that you'd made hours earlier for yourself. Yeah, you left. I'm sure they didn't help maintain the meat while you were gone. Out of curiosity, does your son have teeth marks in his head still?

Uh, he's got a good gash. He's kind of starting to scab over a little bit, but he's a trooper, though. Well, listen, Allie, we've heard some stories here. That sucks. That is a terrible day. I mean, that's also his first Father's Day, too. He finally earned a Father's Day, and he's got all the things. He doesn't get the food he made.

It's cold. He's got the urgent care trip, which sucks. That's going to be costly as well. And I've been there. My first Mother's Day, I was also in the ER because my kid had a head fall. That was rough, and I felt like a horrible parent, too. That's the other part of it, is you feel like a bad parent that you're there in the ER with your kid. Mike, you let your kid be eaten by Pomeranians, but still, we are going to say,

because you have tugged at our heartstrings in just the right way, and our short-term memory is fried. We don't remember any other caller. You have won yourself a giant 75-inch TCL QM7L TV plus a Q75H sound bar, so it'll sound as good as it looks. Congratulations. Also, we're going to give you, on top of that, $100 to spend at Vaughn's, Albertson's Pavilions. Reload that tri-tip and get yourself a nice hot tri-tip. You deserve it.

And some Band-Aids for your kid's head. Congratulations. Really appreciate it. Thank you, guys. Hey, there you go. See, now, it's just one for me and the worst Father's Day ever. To the best. Now you've got a great gift.

To the best. To the best, right? That's awesome. Thank you. And your kid is stronger for getting bit on the head by a Pomeranian. And shout out those dogs' names. Give those dogs' names a shout out on KROQ. Go ahead.

Louie and Teddy. Louie and Teddy. I was going to curse, but yeah. I feel like every Pomeranian's name is Teddy. Congratulations. Thank you for everyone. I'm sorry we couldn't get to all the stories. And for everyone who called, thanks for sharing.

All right, Vanessa, a lot of winners. Someone's going to get even more money as we go ahead and up that $100 to $500 for meat and booze and clearly first aid equipment. So Vanessa will come in with that name. We'll announce that on the airwaves next. And then we've got lots more show to get into after this on KROQ. Funner summer guaranteed all summer long. Thanks for spending your mornings with us here at KROQ.

And we are forcing fun upon each other. Now that summer is officially underway, we can start doing all the things that we've been forced to do. And we'll give one final spin to that wheel to figure out which one of us will indeed have the funnest summer ever. And Jake's out there in the streets trying to get people to take the oath that they will go against society and make sure that this is the funnest summer ever. It's about to be a lot funner for one of these dads here, Allie, because you've got all the names of the qualifiers. These are all people that won TVs from us this week. They're already going to have a better summer at least watching TV. And now they're about to get a bonus $500 to spend.

Thanks again to our friends, Vons, Albertsons, Pavilions. Appreciate you. You can buy everything you could possibly need for a funner summer there. Coolers, ice, booze, and lots and lots of meat. Allie is pulling it out of the Klein Allie Show mug. Yes, I've got five names inside of what is known as the worst Father's Day present ever. There it is. A mug.

The Klein Allie Show Do Better mug. Not available at the store But Allie says Of all of the fathers And women who qualified this week The winner of the additional $500 is The woman named Kim Kim, congratulations

Congratulations I forget how she won She won by her dad duct tape her pants Oh yeah Of course, that's right It was dad Lucians And her dad's solution was duct taping her pants And sending her to school

But he did it too tight And she went number one all over herself Because she couldn't get her pants off Think of all the duct tape you can buy with five hundred dollars so kim congratulations uh you and i believe she immediately gave that tv to her father as well so uh that's a beautiful story right there congratulations kim and now let's find out what people in the streets are going to do to have a funner summer 2026 what's your name uh lionel dalton lionel from where i'm near uh crenshaw area lionel what are you doing

to have a funner summer a funner summer uh just just walking away from this conversation immediately it's just high stepping in a way uh just just going to the beach a lot of beach man yeah yeah i love going to the beach that's a good vibe for me would you be willing to pledge and swear to do that this summer that make sure you have a funner summer i try to do that every day man i pledge to have that every try to do it every day man my name is lionel and i suddenly pledge i'm gonna have a fun summer by going to the beach and having a good time that's an official illegal bind that's legally binding right there ally let's hope that that man doesn't get swept away by a king tide right because that's been happening this summer to make the summer less

fun here's joe who wants to have a funner summer and has agreed to take the pledge uh what's your name joe joe from where joe from north hollywood california joe what are you doing to have a funner summer oh baby um i'm drinking i'm eating i'm having a great time i just wake up every day and i'm gonna let summer wash over me joe would you swear to do that to have a funner summer would would you swear yeah so my name is joe i solemnly swear my name is joe and i solemnly swear to have a badass mother summer by doing by eating bitch i'm gonna eat and have a good summer it's summertime it's time for eating it's time for eating it's time for loving it's time for Bro, bro, bro, Zembe, f**k that s**t.

You better, I want to see, I want to see bitches out there eating through the, oh, Zembe. Nice. One more guy who's got a pledge to have a funner summer. And that man is 600 pounds. So that's just some of the many, many people that are claiming that they're taking the pledge to have more fun all summer long. Take back fat again. That's right. And in case you need to have some more fun as we go into this break alley, hopefully this brings it to you.

And now it's time for a moment with Kevin. We can write your name down. I'm not going to do the writing because my handwriting is illegible, but illegibles. You're right. I don't know. It could be stroking on. And then we've got the first spot to hop on this bus that we just announced. We'll be traveling to Santa Barbara, California.

Lovely place. And you'll be seeing Royal Otis when you get there. And your camp counselor for this journey will be a man by the name of Postmaster Johnny. So it'll be a stimulating, insightful, intelligent conversation for two hours plus. You could probably do that drive in an hour 30 if you hit the right amount of traffic. I would say anywhere. You'd blow through the construction zones. Yeah, anywhere from 130 to six hours, depending on the construction.

Regardless, you'll be going there. You'll be seeing Royal Otis. It'll be great. And we have the first spot on that bus waiting for you in about five minutes right here on KROQ. Right now, though, there's this. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. It's very easy to believe in the public school system when your superintendent is being investigated by the FBI.

Alberto Cavallo has officially resigned because he's being investigated by the FBI. They raided his house a few months ago. They were looking into school district contracts and a failed AI chatbot project, just to name a few things. After the raid, he was put on paid administrative leave, which sounds great. But I guess he decided things were probably going to get worse, so he decided to step down so as not to be a distraction to the students and all their learning. And just if you're keeping track, while he was in charge, there was also a major cyber attack, a bunch of strikes,

and declining enrollment in addition to the failed chatbot, among other projects. So it seems overall he either sucked at his job or was horribly unlucky. And also you got these early dismissal days. I mean, come on with that noise. Get rid of that, right? Parents just sitting there doing their job. Oh, today's Tuesday.

I've got to get to school an hour early. This is my first. I just got my first schedule for my kids. Because he's now going into TK, which is going to be the first real school. And his preschool, we pay. He could be there until 6 p.m. if we want. That's what we pay for, right? That's the good old days.

And they're like, yeah, well, you know, the kids get this. School starts at 9 and ends at noon. I was like, what? That's not even a day. That's not even. So you have three hours? And then I'm supposed to, they're like, but we do have this very expensive after school program.

And I'm like, what is going on here? So I'm paying just as much for that as I was for him to just go to preschool. Free school is where it's at. And then you realize free school only goes for a certain amount of time. Then you got to figure it out. You get what you pay for. You sure do. But then I think they say it's because we don't want to stress the kids out or whatever.

And I'm like, but you got to build up the tolerance. Okay. I have to be able to leave my kids somewhere until five o'clock. Yeah. That's what we were all raised on. I thought school ended at 3. I thought every school ended at 3. No, wrong.

Well, that's when I was a kid. Everything ended at 3. On a long day, 2.20. On a short day, they get picked up at 1. There's a lot of minimum days, half days, teacher meeting days, teacher whatever, parent-teacher conference. Let's say that day off. Then the holidays. Everyone gets a holiday day, so they want to make sure everyone feels included.

But then still, every teacher is like, God, when is summer coming? Like, it must still be that exhausting. I think there's, like, one kid from, like, Zimbabwe. So they're like, we're doing Zimbabwe Heritage Day. That's the day off. I'm like, what? One kid? Doing the whole thing?

But then I thought that a lot of the other schools weren't doing holidays. Like, they don't celebrate the holidays because they're non-denominational, but then they still take the days off. So it's like, you don't celebrate it, but you still take the day off? What's going on here? They did get Cesar Chavez's day off, but then Chavez, all that bad stuff came out. Why are you a bad Mexican? Shut up, you. Why was he?

Good question. But that day is still off somehow. I don't know. Put that back in the calendar. And then, Allie, wait until the beginning of school because they don't start it. You know, you think, oh, school's here. Let's start on a Monday. They bring them back on like a Wednesday.

And then they give them like a half day to start. And then I think they like ease into it. But it's like you can't. You know how a kid learns to swim? You throw them in a pool. Throw them in the pool. Do the baby, the mommy bird thing. Drop them off the nest.

Yes, we don't have to, you know, baby these kids like they can't handle anything. We can handle school. It's been going on for years. If I don't know if Wesley can. Yeah, he can. He can. He has separation anxiety at the beginning. He'll get over it.

Guy's going to be in a locker after the first day. No, my kid's going to be cool. Yeah, right. Put that tutu kid in the locker. He's got two moms. It's a leotard, not a tutu. That's what he's going to say. Oh, man.

The last you're going to hear him say before he gets shoved in that locker. It's not a two-two. That TK is getting shoved in a locker. It's a leertar. He's four. The moment you get your first car is an exciting moment, whether your parents helped you out or you scraped enough money together to buy a used beater and call it your own.

But that iconic milestone is becoming harder and harder to accomplish because prices for new and used cars are getting unrealistic. You think buying a new car is getting out of your reach? Well, you're not imagining it. A new report finds the average new vehicle now costs about $50,000, while used cars are averaging nearly $27,000. Experts say automakers are dropping many of their lower-priced models and focusing on higher-profit trucks, SUVs, and luxury vehicles instead. Industry analysts say more vehicles priced under $25,000 are disappearing altogether. So they're just not offering the cheap car as an option.

So, usually, when you're buying a first car or a used car, it's like, okay, I'm going to not have any of the bells and whistles. I'll just crank the window up and down. I don't need that power door. And they tell you all the things the car doesn't have. And then when you actually look at the window sticker, you realize there's a lot of space. There's a lot of space on this sticker because the car does not have a lot of things. It's just the price. It's just the price.

But you're like, it's a $20,000 car. So, that's what I can afford. And they don't even have that as an option anymore. And also, the interest rates are now, they start, like, at 6%. Oh, my God. Like, the days of, like, 0% interest are gone. And a lot of times, the car companies would figure out a way, they would swallow it up, or they would figure out ways to move around the numbers so you felt better.

And I don't know how they did it, but it didn't seem to matter because it was like, I just want my payment to be under $400 a month. Can we figure that out? Oh, we can't do that anymore? Why can't we? We used to be able to. Well, you have to go and register the car in Vermont. Great.

Do that. Oh, that's illegal. Oh, wait, what? We can't do that? Hey, do what you got to do to get around because everyone needs a car, especially in Southern California. You can't not have a car, and gone are the days where you can spend $3,000 on an old-ass used car because people selling used cars are selling them for crazy prices, too. They should have taken all that money they spent building that D-line that no one's riding,

and they should have given everyone a car. It's so true because that place is like a ghost town. That D-town, the Ride the D, they spent years and billions of dollars, and there's no one on it. I would imagine you probably could have given 25,000 people a car. Because the best case scenario is, okay, now I'm in Westwood. Right. Now what? Right. I get it.

A restaurant is closing in Pasadena after 22 years. It's called Nicky C's Bar and Grill. It's on Rosemead. I guess it was very beloved by the community. And it originally closed at the end of last year when the roof failed. They said it was years of deterioration followed by a storm that they just couldn't come back from. The price of the repairs was going to be astronomical, so they closed down. But they said this week there is a final community sale being held where attendees are invited to stop by for a toast and take something home if they want.

Anything from a bar stool to a glass or any other item of significance to you. People have probably been doing that for years. I've been slowly taking silverware from this place for years. Finally, I can have a set. You can finish this set of stolen cutlery that I've been putting together. Amazing. If you've got some nice restaurant-quality plates, too, you don't feel bad about breaking them or anything like that? Yeah, that's right.

It doesn't matter if you have people over. Those are indestructible plates. I've been over the Fleming's plates tonight. Oh, did you guys buy these? We have guests. Not exactly. This is from Nikki C's Bar and Grill, you see. If you would like to hop on a bus and party your way up to Santa Barbara, we'd love you to call us right now.

800-520-1067. It's all part of our funner summer guarantee. A bus filled with K-Rock listeners, known as the K-Rock Party Bus to Santa Barbara. Postmaster Johnny will be on there. And when you arrive in Santa Barbara, you will be greeted by none other than Royal Otis. Call 20. Looking for you right now. 800-520-1067. Let's go. This is the world famous K-Rock.

Oh, hell yeah. Welcome to your summer. Funner Summer, guaranteed, all summer long here at KROQ, Klein Alley Show, in your ear holes. Also, you can find us. We are streaming live on YouTube right now. Look at us. If you want to watch, Alley's about to inject herself with some of that good, good baby-making drugs. Yep, not feeling great today, guys. She's got the morning sickness.

She may or may not have twins inside of her. We're not sure. I think we find out on Friday. We find out on Friday. How many lives are currently growing inside of Alley. Either it's one baby or it's more than one, in which case Allie will throw herself off of the bridge here and probably end it once and for all.

What? No, we're going to give it away. Oh, that's right. We're going to give away the second baby. Call it 20. So we may be the first station to do a baby giveaway, which will be very exciting. Call it 20 gets the girl.

And if you're disappointed because you didn't get a TV, don't worry. We'll be giving away a human life as soon as Friday. Just more reason to listen to K-Rock this morning. I'm going to go ahead and say this now. I think this week we might want to have a bucket or a garbage can nearby. You think you're going to start puking? Yeah, there was a couple moments today where I thought that it was a little touch and go.

Was it good when Jake was talking about himself, his smell? Yeah, yeah. Well, it was also the skunk stuff. There was a lot of things that were kind of upsetting my stomach, but it's just upset in general. We should do a call-in topic if we can make an alley puke. Oh, my God. People just call in and tell gross stories. And then Klein took out some kind of a weird smelling item.

Oh, yeah. I can tell. She doesn't like what I brought in. It's my boy killer this morning, my protein. Oh, man. You did a weird mix, dude. This week is the week I'm supposed to be. You described it.

I had old turkey and old beef, and I put them together into a nice bowl. That does not sound great. I'm like, oh. Last night, I was cleaning out the fridge, having myself an epic Father's Day, and I came across a couple of different expired meats, but my feeling was if I mix these expired meats together in a pan and put them on a really high heat, then I really won't know what I'm eating, and I'll just eat it and hope for the best. Glad you told me about it in detail.

Yeah, so anyway, that's what I got going on right now. Thank you. That's not a gig. Jake, you come in here and try my expired meatball. I love it. Hey, Cindy. Cindy in Long Beach, good morning. You are the 20th caller.

Hi. Woo, NetBanger, shout out. Thank you so much. Hey, shout out for everyone who's finding us or discovering the YouTubers who are streaming there as well. You are going to be on the bus with Postmaster Johnny heading to Santa Barbara for Royal Otis, all right? thank you if you did not get through right now or you don't care or you just want to win your way in

uh we will be taking your calls coming up later this hour with a very simple question in honor of it still being pride month what is the gayest thing about you currently anyone can have a gay thing about them even if you are 100 heterosexual straight as an arrow and ali and johnny will help because johnny is the gayest on the show even though ali is gay he's the gayest guy on the show By far. Belly shirts and all those noises he makes like a sea otter. Yes, though Omar does take care of his hibiscus. Omar does like his hibiscus.

And he's the only guy, I think, on the show that's kissed another man. Yeah. So Omar's a close contender right there as well. Oh, stop it! That's Allie right there. So we'll come up with that later this hour. And place your bets. If Allie throws up live on KROQ,

It wouldn't be the first time. It wouldn't be the first time. It's KROQ. Good morning. We are Klein Alley Show. If you need us, 800-520-1067. Just give away the first spot on the bus to go see Royal Otis Center. Barbara, we give you a chance again coming up in moments.

We will start taking your calls and texts. What is the gayest thing about you? As we are still technically in the month of pride. Although, as Alley said, it was taken over by those damn foreign soccer players. I never said any of that. Stole all her glory. So, anyway, we will get into those calls from you. And Allie has made the point, we can all agree that there are certain things you can do that would make you, quote, gay, even if you're not, quote, gay.

You know, I went and had a first-time experience as a parent where I took my kid to the movies. It was my first time taking my kid to a full-length movie at the movie theater. And it was a weird experience being in one of those situations where everyone is there with their kids. And after 20 minutes, every kid is rolling around in the aisles. They're screaming. They have to go potty. They're crying. Did you go to one of those special Mommy and Me movies that everyone's expecting to be like?

Like, you know you're going to be annoyed going in? No, but I mean, when you're going to Toy Story 5, I think that's kind of implied that everyone is there with their kids. I don't think there's just a lot of regular adults. There's a few Joyce Moises, probably. Yeah, I feel the same about Toy Story audiences that I do about, like, Disney adults, which is, like, if you're going to a movie like that, I know there were quite a few adults that went and saw that movie, mostly because they had nostalgia, because they remember seeing the first one when they were kids, I guess. But there were some adults there with no kids, and I found that to be—

Some dressed-up adults. Dressed-up like characters? Dressed-up like Jesse. Stop it. Yep. And then there were a few Taylor Swift weirdos as well because she does the song at the end. But I wanted to give my kid his first movie theater experience because not only does he enjoy screen time, as all of our kids do— Nothing better.

But he also enjoys popcorn. It is his favorite food. And I tried to explain to him, yes, you've had popcorn in your life, but you've never had movie theater popcorn. It is a completely different experience. And you also have to mix M&M's with the popcorn because that is the perfect combination, the sweet and the salty. See, I agree that other than maybe the kettle corn at the L.A. Zoo, which I think is a top tier corn, movie theater popcorn, especially good movie theater popcorn, is as good as anything. And it's crazy because even when it's sitting there, it doesn't even look good. It looks like it's been sitting in there for a while, and then they scoop it in, and then they add the butter.

And for some reason, it is the perfect amount of heat. It's the perfect amount of butter. They even say the butter contains soy. I don't know what the hell that's about, but it tastes delicious. More butter. Yeah, more butter. So we get in there, and of course, there is a row of different commemorative popcorn buckets that you can buy based on what movie you're seeing. There was a Toy Story popcorn bucket with a little cup.

There was also a Supergirl one. There was like 10 different commemorative popcorn buckets. And I tell you, those popcorn buckets are keeping the movie industry afloat. What are they charged for those? Some of them were like $35. What? $35 for like a popcorn bucket that also was a car or whatever it is. When are you going to ever use that again?

Like I know you think you're going to go home and you're going to use that as your home popcorn bucket. We're not eating popcorn out of buckets that often. It's going to be, Wesley is going to do everything in that bucket. Well, that could be your, you can maybe bring that bucket. It's his pee bucket, it's his puke bucket. That could be your pregnancy puke bucket. You can bring it in here tomorrow. It's a poop bucket.

Buckets are very versatile if you've got the right bucket. I mean, you can do a lot of things with a bucket. Well, you know, I found that out actually firsthand because we drove to the Bay Area and we saw the movie in the Bay Area, so we drove home with the bucket, and that bucket had many uses on the driveway. Oh, did you go to the bathroom in the bucket in the car? Oh, it was almost a puke bucket for me. There was also, we had some sunflower seeds.

It was a seed discard bucket. It was a trash bucket. Man, you're getting your money's worth on that. Yeah, there was a lot. I can't believe El Cheapo got bamboozled into buying the commemorative Toy Story bucket. I feel like you would have been the person. And this was just a bucket. It wasn't like a rodeo hat or anything like that.

It was just a bucket with a Toy Story emblem on it. But my kid wanted it, and it was his first movie theater experience. And that's the thing is every parent is going to get suckered into buying these things for their kids because they want to make the movie experience more fun. I assume the theater was packed because that movie made a billion dollars. There were three rows only that were filled up. Really? Yep.

And we thought we have to get tickets way ahead of time. This is a Friday night. It's going to be crazy. And we were the first people to buy tickets. And how long into the movie before you said he was up and already bored with the movie? Well, it was good, actually, that there weren't that many people there because every kid was just roaming the aisles. It was great because they could just, yeah, they could totally, you know, ram the seats in front of them. It wasn't a big deal, but probably a half an hour in was when everybody started losing their patience.

But it's ironic because the entire movie is pretty depressing, and it's about how every kid is just tied to a screen now, and nobody's playing anymore. And I'm like, wow, and we're all sitting here watching a screen that we paid money to have our kids sit here and watch this screen. And the whole movie is about how we are sticking screens in front of our kids and not letting them play. We tried to convince my kids to go see it, too, and they said, can't we just get it and watch it on our iPads? And I was like, that seems even more on the nose. Like, that seems like even more of a problem. I know. And all the toys are, like, looking into all the houses in America.

And it's just windows and windows of all these kids staring at iPads. And they're all chatting with each other through the iPads. And no one's making real friends anymore. And I was like, oh, my God. How is this supposed to be uplifting? So, at the end, and then you got What's-His-Face that comes on, Randy Newman, and sings some sad-ass song like, we don't like each other. Well, no. Actually, it was Taylor Swift at the end.

So, everyone was like, yay, this is worth it. Oh, okay. But I think the lesson there was that there's supposed to be some kind of a middle ground that we can all live with, but it doesn't seem like we've really found that as a society. No. So it just kind of left me feeling a little bit sad. No, we have not. But also grateful that I spent $97 on a movie.

Worth it. When we get back, what is the gayest thing about you? It could score you access to the bus with Postmaster Johnny, your gay counselor, as he takes you up to Santa Barbara for Royal Otis. And all we are asking for you as we continue to celebrate Pride Month is, what is the one thing? If you had to pick one thing. You go, all right, yeah, I consider myself straight, but there's this one thing about me that I could understand why people would think maybe I was gay or have accused me of being gay. What's the reason?

What's the story? We'll all share ours as well, and we'll come back with that next at 800-520-1067. We're going to find Allie's show. Allie said those damn foreigners came here with their soccer balls. Stop saying that. I never said any of this. Stole all of the glory from the month that was supposed to be for us gay people. No, not the case at all.

And I said, it's the World Cup. There's nothing gayer than that, Allie. She goes, you're right. It's a beautiful thing to say. And now, once again, homeostasis. None of this happened. Homostasis is back at KROQ. And the question we have for you right now, if you want to score a seat on this bus to go to Santa Barbara and see Royal Otis with Postmaster Johnny, gayest guy on the show, you have to let us know what is the gayest thing about you.

And Allie will determine. And she's been keeping a list here. I don't know if Johnny's the gayest on the show, by the way. I think it differs by the day. Yeah, what's up with this gay stuff all the time, man? Well, you got the belly shirt, and you accidentally sent us a video of you and your friend, Kai, sleeping naked with each other or something? We weren't naked. We were napping on the futon because we fell asleep.

Ain't nothing wrong with sleeping next to another dude. And you were, like, massaging? You said you were massaging him? Or his dad, his gay dad, cut your hair? Yeah, his dad just cuts my hair, and he happens to be a homosexual. Ain't nothing wrong with that. The more you talk, though, the gayer this gets. And Johnny has to pay somehow for those haircuts.

Right. Not paying with a wallet. I haven't paid since 2022. There you go. Oh, man. Four years of free haircuts? Come on. And still STD free.

That's amazing. But Klein, when he orders coffee, cold or hot, orders a straw because he needs to sip all of his coffee drinks through a straw, which is extremely gay. What am I going to sit, walk, hold around like a little sippy cup, like an adult baby? Why don't you just drink a cup of coffee? Why do you have to sip it through a straw? If I get hot coffee, I would drink it regular like a man, but usually I like iced coffee, so I get a straw.

And have you or have you not argued with somebody if they didn't have a straw? Yeah, sometimes, yeah. I have gotten upset with them. That's just me being frustrated. They can't give me a goddamn straw. They give me a look of shame like I'm trying to kill a turtle. I just want a goddamn straw. Have you or have you not started following a lot of hot guys on Instagram?

They're not hot. A lot of naked guys. I'm not following hot guys. They are hot. I was trying to get into better shape. And sadly, when you look at, like, a lot of these people that are giving you tips on, you know, lifting weights and stuff like that, they happen to be a lot of good-looking shirtless dudes, yeah. Yeah, gay.

So do I have more of them in my... You open your Instagram, and it's just a bunch of, like, half-naked guys doing lunges. It's not a bunch of that. It is. I'll show you what's in there now. It's probably still... It used to be just pizza and bikini girls. It's shifted a little bit, but let me see.

Sounds like a lot of it. Hold on. Let me see how much it's shifted. And then Omar, I don't even need to really go into. I mean, the guy loves gardening. You probably even have one of those little pillows that you put your knees on when you garden. A pad? A knee pad?

Yes, of course I have a knee pad. What's wrong with you? You can't garden without one of those. My knees would hurt. Hold on. Allie's got my Explorer page open right now. What do you see? Okay.

Ice cream cone cream pies. Okay. Well, yeah, those look delicious. Okay. There's a guy with a very weird but very naked body. Not naked. He's like a trainer guy. Cool cars.

Yep. Thank God. Yeah. Cool car. Man, I'm a man. Oh, yeah, brother. There's definitely a picture of, like, a Hummer here. What else?

What else? Go ahead. Jerry Seinfeld. All right. That's cool. Meat. Meat. That's right.

More naked guys. Not naked guys. You say naked guys. What are they? They're not naked. They're, uh... All right, that guy's naked. No, he's not naked.

He's doing, like, a workout guy. He's not doing a workout. Why is there, like, gay music in the back? I don't know. What's it like? What is that? This guy's doing some sort of training thing. He's not.

He's just showing you his body. You have to read the caption. The caption says, you want to do this? You got to cut your body fat down to 10% or something. No, the caption is worked a little too good. Okay. You got that special meat there. This guy's just talking about sunscreen.

I don't follow the guy. These are people I don't follow. They say I should follow these people. I don't know who these people are. This guy is just sunbathing. Yeah, okay. And then there's some comedians in there. There's some pizza in there.

This is every gay club, by the way. I love that. That guy, that's out of context. That guy's video is called 8,000 Push-Ups. I've seen enough. But then Johnny, aside from the fact that he has slept naked with another man, he also was late for work one day because he was changing outfits, which is pretty gay. Wow.

That is a... I had one shirt that was smelly, and I was like, yo, I can't be Allie today. I got to stay fresh. So I had to switch out my shirt. He has a trunk with different, in his trunk he's got different shirts and he's like, am I feeling this shirt or this shirt? You change multiple times before you come in here, do you not? That's because I'm a hobo and I stayed at a lot of friends' house, so I used to always

keep clothes in me in my trunk, so I would change all the time. Jake is obsessed with the color purple. He also has bought woman's shoes. Purple's the color of kings. Jake does love purple. It's the color of kings, goddammit. I think you mean planes. He also crushed it on a lesbian website.

Crushed it. I mean, he's definitely the most lesbian of all of us. And those knockers. And he's got the biggest breasts, of course. And Vanessa is probably the straightest of all of us, but she does rollerblade. Yeah, she rollerblades in Long Beach. That is like right there. That is gay.

I know who's not gay, but is actually gay. It's me. Yeah. That's the saddest part about the whole thing. But what about you? What about you is the question. 800-520-1067. Up for grabs.

Spot on the bus. Let me say hi to David. Good morning, David. Welcome to KROQ. Anything about you? It's Pride Month. What's up? Good morning, guys.

So instead of chapstick, I use lip gloss. You know, you like the way it feels better, right? Yeah. You know, I don't like the chapstick. I like the way the lip gloss makes my lips kind of puff out. And, you know, everybody says, you're gay. And I was like, no, I just like it. Do they have different flavors?

Like, what are some of the flavors and colors that you have? I got, like, a pink one. It's almost like a peach. And then, like, a red one for, like, strawberry and stuff like that. A peach one is definitely pushing them over the edge. Sometimes they have fun names like Strawberry Daiquiri, Razzmatazz. And do you do this in public or do you kind of hide quietly and do it in your car? Oh, no, I do it all the time.

I'm married. I got kids. I just like it. What's your wife thinking? I can't go out tonight without my lip gloss. Thank you, Clint. Can you say that? What is your...

Have you ever not gone out because you don't have a lip gloss? What does your wife think about it? It's funny because I have my own, and when she don't have it, she's like, can I borrow your lip gloss? I'm like, yeah, sure, here you go. And you buy it at, like, Sephora? Sephora, Walmart, wherever I go, you know. Yeah, Walmart, straight. Just go straight.

I buy my lip gloss at Walmart. I buy my lip gloss when I get my guns. Walmart. I have my fishing pole and my lip gloss at the same place. David, hold on one second. That's why David believes he is the gayest on the show. Jordan, why do you believe that you are gay? What is one gay thing about you?

So, I believe there should be more male nudity in films in general. What's your reasoning for this? Yeah, I think it's only fair. I think, you know, actresses got to face the whole deroging issue at one point in their career. Why not the man, too? And I think it would be good for men in general. Imagine finding out you're packing the same heat as, like, George Clooney. That'd make my whole week.

Client, what was that series that you would watch where all the dongs were there? Well, yeah, it was called The Minx, and there was a ton of dongs in the first episode. That was a warning. I didn't know that. But he's got a good point, which is, I like what his theory is, is that there should be more malnudity because, you know, what he's saying makes sense. So I can kiss the screen with my lip gloss. Whoa, that is a giant dong. You guys are missing his point, which was a good point.

If all of a sudden you realize, hey, wait a minute, I'm hung better than George Clooney. Wait, wait, is that what you're doing when you're seeing all these dongs on the screen? It's just to compare. You're comparing? I don't want to put words in your mouth, Jordan, but that's what you said, correct? Yeah, you want to put something different in there? It's not a comparison, you know, but if you see something that looks familiar, you know, I might pick you up a little bit.

Right. Hey, look at that. At least I got that on Clooney. Take that, Clooney. I don't know if the same is going to happen for men, but for women, every time we look at bodies on the screen, we go, oh, man, I am sad that my body doesn't look like that. And then we get complexes.

Right. Hey, Ashley, welcome to KROQ. What is the gayest thing about you? It's Pride Month. Happy Pride Month, everyone. Happy Pride. Good morning. I would say the gayest thing, I do take, like, two showers a day.

You know, I don't think that that's that gay. For a woman, I don't think that's gay. No. If a guy were calling to say he takes a bath, that'd be a different conversation. Which you've done. Yeah, I've done that. You're a bather. But that was out of laziness more than anything else.

You just like to sit in your own hot soup. Just like to sit in my own filth. Yeah. I mean, I've sat down in the floor. I sit down and shower sometimes on the floor. I don't have a bench in there. I just sit on the floor of a shower. What?

Yeah. What? Just to take a break. This whole segment has turned into what's the gayest thing about Klein. Part two. That's nuts. Ashley, but other than that, I mean, that's not really, you consider yourself straight, lady? I'm actually a mom, and it's surprising you guys don't think it's that gay,

because you just said Johnny was gay for changing, like, his outfit. Yeah, but Johnny changed being late to work because I have to change my outfit. That is something only a woman or a gay man would say. No straight man would ever do that, unless he spilled. Even if it was a little funky, you're like, ah, whatever, I'm here. Yeah, if you spilled barbecue sauce all over yourself, maybe I could be acceptable for, like, a man. Especially if it's the manliest fluid you can come up with. Yeah.

Just barbecue sauce. Happens to me all the time. Right. Carlos, what is the gayest thing about you? Welcome to KROQ. Hey, good morning, guys. How you doing? Good.

Oof. I would say probably I keep a really clean and tidy, unique house. Like, everything is organized from, like, the closets to the counters to the floors. Everything has got a place. Oh, I bet you love just a decluttering day. Can't say that word on the radio. You got really excited about it. You got really excited.

Oh, man. putting things and labeling them? I think that guy's just orgasm. Alex said decluttering. I think that guy's just climaxed. I think he did. Oh, that was wild. That guy may be the gayest guy.

He probably has so many different types of cleaning solutions, too, depending on the surface. Gabriella. Women can be gay, too. Ali tries to prove that on a regular basis. Gayest thing about you. Go ahead.

Gabriella. Yeah, hi, you're on. Yes. Hi. um so the gayest thing about me is that i know who divine is and i'm i'm actually straight but my friends got me into like knowing who the first like um drag woman there was like back in the you know back in those old times with female trouble so that's the gayest thing about me that I know who that is.

Who's Divine? What is Divine? A drag queen? Or RuPaul. Yeah, it's super famous. Yeah, but I feel like women knowing about drag queens is not gay.

That's not gay at all. No, it's just, it's like par for the course. I feel like every straight woman knows about every drag queen. If you saw a picture of Divine, you'd recognize her. You're saying I would recognize who?

Divine. It's a super famous drag queen. I assure you, for a billion dollars, I would have no idea what Divine drag queen is. Okay, only man on the show who's been to a musical

in the last month? Yeah, I was in a musical because my kid performed in the musical. I was in a musical by choice. No, no, no, the other musical. Oh, yeah,

I went to Sound of Music. You've been to multiple musicals. Yeah, I was at the Pantages this year once, so I guess that means I'm going to win this gay thing about me. And you got yelled at by a man in a vest.

Hey, you, no! No! That's what the guy said. All right, Allie, you've heard a lot. There's a lot more here and a lot on the text line, but you have to pick

one person who does something that's gay, even though they're not gay. They don't identify as gay, but they have a gay thing about them and they will get to hop on this bus to Santa Barbara to see some Royal Lotus with Postmaster Johnny. You know, my first instinct was the lip gloss guy

but then I really thought about it and I think the guy who's really vying for more male nudity on TV shows I would like that guy to be on a bus with Johnny. Alright, apologies to everyone else we couldn't get to. Allie's made her decision and she's the gay one on the show so for the man, the straight man

who says he would like to see more male nudity And you agreed. No, I didn't agree. I think there should be no male movie, but I understand his point, which I thought was an interesting take. You're, like, debating for him. This man has a good point. Just sign my petition. That's all I'm saying.

It's K-Rock. Klan out. K-Rock. Fine Alley Show. I think it's time for the final wheel spin, and then our funner summer is officially underway. You know, earlier today, we did hear some of the many people that Jake has approached in the streets that are guaranteeing to have a funner summer. Perhaps no one is more excited about summer than this person who went by the name of Sugar Honey Baby. What's your name?

Sugar Honey Ice Tea. Excuse me, Sugar Honey Iced Tea. I got her name wrong already. She's very excited about summer being here. Read the tattoo. Sugar Honey, look, look, look. Sugar Honey Iced Tea. Got the tattoo and everything.

Yeah. Sugar Honey Iced Tea from where? Born and raised, South Central, Middle Eastern. What are you doing this summer to have a funner summer? Mommy trying to turn up this summer, you feel me? Out there. Would you pledge to have a funner summer? Most definitely.

Yeah. I. I. Sugar honey iced tea, baby. Solomon. I only swear. I only swear. Solomon.

To have a funner summer. To have a lit-ass, funner, tonked-up-ass summer. Lit-ass, tonked-up, funner summer is the oath now that is legally. It's the whitest version of that sentence. Turned up. That is the legally binding terminology that we are using to make sure that we all have the funnest summer ever, which has now officially begun once again. Funner, tonked up-ass summer. That's right.

That's right. What that lady said right there, I rest my case. What's her name? Honey, Sweet Tea. Sugar Bear. Randy Newman. It's time now for us to figure out which is the final thing one of us will be forced to do. If we can't have fun organically, we must force fun upon each other.

and that is why today is the last of the wheel spins. And then we have between now and Labor Day to accomplish everything to make this the funnest summer ever. And listen, so far, there have been a lot of things that have been divvied out. We have a lot of work ahead of us, and hopefully you guys will be having fun as well. It's time for Funner Summer 4.

Summer, summer, summer, summer time. It's Funner Summer! the next item on the wheel ali where are we at now just for people that i've already lost count but i know that this summer what are the things that you have to do i know things have changed for you because you got all pregnant and by the way getting impregnated some would argue funner summer funner summer i wish that we could just count that for sure because you assigned me having a one-night stand which i did not even spin and you just took that from jake and gave it to me which i've never agreed to but i thought you said you're going to try the threesome with

your wife i just don't think it's going to happen especially with this pregnancy thing i don't see me being that much of a desirable thing on like a dating app i think you're wrong and i think you have a nice little window right now is where the window's good before you get all when i feel like crap and feel like throwing up on everybody that's the hot stuff definitely when i feel very sexy that's your time to shine baby you have to have a backyard keg party and have an all-nighter those are your two assignments would you guys like me to handle the skunk situation first or wait until after the kegger to do that i would like for you to handle the skunk situation preferably jake has to try a new drug omar has to get on a watercraft of some kind and have sex three times in one day

johnny has to rent out a bounce house and he has to spend the whole day at the beach and i believe sex on the beach is included in that and vanessa has to get drunk at a water park and go camping Both of which she is going to do with me. So I'm basically going to knock those off of the bucket list as well. So we have time to spin the wheel one final time. And listen, there's a lot of things, I think, because of all of the tragedy that have happened recently with bungee jumping and skydiving. I think we pulled that one off the wheel. But we do have a couple that we have not yet declared, including eating something deep fried, which, you know, deep fried food is the official food fair of summer, especially with all the fairs going on.

Can it be something not chicken? Like it has to be something weird. Like an Oreo or a lizard? Yeah, of course. I think deep-fried fun is the next one. You could also, could you deep-fry your own stuff and kind of get like your own little oil trough at your house and deep-fry some just for the hell of it? Deep-fry one of those skunks. Try it out.

Why not? Show who's boss. This person today will be forced to incorporate something deep-fried into their summer as well. And then officially the funner summer can continue. It's got drinks. It's got drugs. It's got sex. It's got travel.

It's got water parks. It's got deep-fried goodness. And that is the perfect recipe for a funner summer. And this is landing on who will be eating deep-fried goodness this summer. It is Jake. Ah, Jake. The nerd. Congrats, Jake.

Get ready for Jake the Quake as we bring back Fat Jake just in time for fall 2026. This is great. Everybody has two things that they have to accomplish, two very manageable things, I think. And if anybody wants to follow along at home, you're welcome to. Jake, what deep fry, what are you thinking off the top of your head? Or are you going to just see how the summer takes you? Hush puppies, dude. Oh, you're hush puppies.

You stupid hush puppies. Or a corn dog. A corn dog? You got to go to, Ali's right there. You should go to the O.C. Fair and do one of those weird ass deep fried something or others. Like frog legs or. Deep fried like trail mix or something.

Or Kool-Aid. Yeah. That's where you got to go, dude. And I would argue one deep fried thing doesn't seem like nearly enough. A day of deep fried. I think it's got to be a day of deep fried. I eat hush puppies all day. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Fried. Everything deep fried. Deep fried Fruity Petals? Yeah. I figured it out. I'd like to even see you try it. Deep fried mustard sandwich, Jake. Ooh.

Got to take a break. You can almost taste the fry. We got to take a break. We're back in a moment. We've got more show to get to. And a little round of Johnny Doesn't Know to get you tickets to see the very funny Matt Reif, who will be at the Greek Theater on July 13th. Tickets at Ticketmaster.com.

But you'll win them from us coming up next hour and more after this on KROQ. KROQ. We are a Klein Alley show. Let's find out what's going on in the world together. Then we can get into a brand new hour of the show. It is Monday morning. That has not changed. Let's make this officially the funner summer that you've ever experienced in your entire life.

Now that summer is officially here, get ready for the funnest summer ever. It all starts after this message. Yes. All right. Let's get it on. USA. USA. It's a lot of pride.

World Cup pride, understandably, at least for now. And then people will go back to forgetting that soccer even exists. But for right now, people are feeling very good in this country. Let's get into this now, your news. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. I don't know if you'd agree with this, Klein, but few things are funnier than when someone falls down. It's the best.

It's the best. Whether you know the person or not, it's usually hilarious. Unfortunately, we did have some not funny falls that happened at shows over the weekend. There are three different circumstances. So one guy fell from the 300 section at Madison Square Garden while the band Goose was performing. Unfortunately, that did not end well. The guy didn't make it. They didn't say how far he fell, but I imagine it all depends on how you land in a place like that.

And then you had Rod Stewart. You probably heard that goose noodling going on for a while and just said, I'm done. I'm over it. They aren't quite the jam band. They do like to jam. I know Jake's a big goose head. He loves the goose. And I got other friends that have really tried desperately to get me into goose.

I got them confused with geese. Different. I have a friend that did the same thing. And he actually went to the show, and he's just like, what is up with that hype with geese? I'm like, what? Yeah, well, are they talking about goose or geese? Which one is he? They went to go see goose, unfortunately.

And they were like, I love geese, but man, it was a totally different show. I'm like, dude, you're so dumb. And I also thought I was at a show, but I was just drinking a giant bottle of French vodka on my couch. And I realized that was Grey Goose, which is totally different. But by the way, I still think number one of the three. And still, you would probably fall if you had enough interactions with goose. Sadly, gravity is undefeated, and a lot of times we will do our things to try to compete against gravity, but gravity wins every time. So, Rod Stewart was also performing, and he nearly fainted during his show over the weekend, and crew came out and started giving him oxygen on stage during the show.

How old is he? A million. He's got to be a million, right? He then decided to still finish the show, but told everyone he had to sit in his chair while he was... Would you be at that show, and you're like, what am I doing? I don't know. And also, Rod, it's okay. Just, you can retire, man.

You don't have to keep performing. What are we? I don't think we'll get the same mentality as them because that's their whole life. And for that guy, he's been doing it for, I don't know, seven, eight decades or whatever. Maybe more. Somebody was like, I never saw Rod Stewart. I always wanted to see him. And then they're watching him be administered by medical professionals on stage.

And you're going, was this worth it? I think it is. Maybe I should have just seen him 50 years ago. I saw one of Tom Petty's final shows. Like his final five shows First time I ever saw Tom Petty And it was one of his final five shows And he looked like he was

Going through the motions But a little old But it didn't bother me Because I felt the same way When we went and saw The Rolling Stones in Vegas You know for some reason He looked a million

But he still kind of They could move like crazy Yes And they still sounded amazing Even though the vocals Didn't sound the same But you feel like It was the same enough

For you to really feel like You finally got to see them They must jack them up With all that cortisol What do they give the NFL players When they break their foot and then they send him back into the game. Bath salts? Spelling salts.

No, it's more than bath salts. It's not smelling bath salts. Definitely not bath salts. Oh, my God. Why is he eating Mick Jagger's face? Oh, he's on bath salts. It's like a slap a horse on the ass before they go on stage.

Get out of there! I think it's like cortisol or something. They just shoot you up with all these things and all of a sudden it just makes your pains go away for at least long enough to play the game more. I feel like that's mostly what they do with all these old performers. But, I mean, also, if you're Rod Stewart

and you have nothing to do all day than to perform for two and a half hours, whatever it is and you can't make it through it then maybe maybe let's not perform or maybe make it like a 10 a.m show that's possible you know just make it at his peak time and then you had kirk hammett of metallica who also fell another older man fall but this one he had stepped on a platform that ended up being kind of a squishy material instead of a hard material and he just ate s and fell onto his knees and he got back up that one was funny we have yet another waymo gone wild situation this one happened up in the bay area where i just was there was about a zillion

waymos up there and also tons of construction and waymo and construction do not always pair well together holy dude this was the moment san francisco resident elliot slade's waymo went haywire slade says he was about five minutes into a journey along highway 101 when his waymo came into a construction zone the car first tried merging into other lanes it eventually drove into the construction zone itself before taking off great to go through the construction and not have to go around it where all the other cars are sitting in traffic i think it's a great choice for a waymo there were signs there were lights there were cones and it went through the cones and then sped up straight away i mean getting to your destination much faster by

going through construction i think is a great choice for a waymo to make matters even worse slade tells us a nearby highway patrol car began chasing after them after seeing what was going on Shouting, stop Waymo, stop Waymo, stop Waymo. We're like, what the heck is going on? We don't know what's going on. Slate says the Waymo eventually left the construction zone and then took an exit off of the freeway into a residential neighborhood. Great choice if you're on the run.

Turn into a residential neighborhood and imagine the guy just going, stop Waymo, Waymo, stop, stop, stop. But it's not his fault. Waymo's kind of like the equivalent of the oops, I'm new here. Like, come with some slack so that everyone's like, all right, I guess Waymo doesn't really know what to do. It's new-ish. I mean, they've been around a bit and they've been tested.

But the idea that, right, if the digital map was not updated to let them know that there was a construction zone. It's just doing what it's supposed to keep going through. They don't know. They don't know how to read those signs and say, slow down. My daddy works here. So they just keep going. Those signs are supposed to appeal to the rest of us. Please, my dad works hard.

Some little kid wearing a hard hat is going like, please, my daddy. And, you know, as a driver, I'll just plow through that. They don't care about that sign or that kid's dad. A win for El Cheapos everywhere. Those pesky sell-by dates are going away. California has banned sell-by labels. This is an effort to fight food waste. And these are mandatory new rules for every grocery store.

You can now do a best-if-used-by date to indicate that that is the product's peak quality, period. But then you can also do a use-by date, which is kind of just like you need to use this before it goes bad. That's just so you don't get sick. Doesn't this have the potential for people getting sick? Yeah. No, but no, that's what the use-by dates are for. The sell-by dates are BS, and they know it, which is why they're getting rid of them. So, which products?

Switch the dates all together to a sick-by date. Put the date, because use-by, you're right, there's some vagueness to it. And best-by, okay, so it loses a little quality. But just put the date that says, anything after this date, you will get sick. A sick-by date. So that I can know if I get $5 off, I'm still going to buy it. Right. Still buy it.

And, by the way, great way to get into my bikini bod while I throw up this turkey that's expired four days ago. Well, you know what the problem is, is because they have the sell-by dates, people like you who really want the freshest thing, you're going to pick through all the milks until you find the one that has the latest sell-by date. So you're getting the newest thing, right? And then all of the things that are older are just left on the shelves, and eventually the grocery stores just get rid of them. so they think there'll be less food waste if people don't know when it was put on the shelf. Also, I think the dates,

even though they're supposed to be kind of what we go to to check for everything, if I'm looking at a thing of ground beef and the sell-by date is still not for a couple of days but the meat is turning a weird shade of gray, that to me is like, the date can say whatever it wants to. I'm going by that.

Meanwhile, I look at some other ones that it's a day past or it expires tomorrow. It looks good. It looks good, nice and pink and ready to go. I think the sight and smell test is way more powerful than what you're reading on the packaging. I always said that.

We should set Allie up like at a carny where the people will guess your weight and guess your age and she can just sit there like on a weird folding chair in a grocery store.

You just sniff things as people walk by. Don't worry about that. A little gray. Keep moving. Keep going. Eat it. We get until

right around the show and we do that next on KROQ. This is the world famous KROQ. Good morning. It's just after 10 o'clock. Funnel Summer

is officially underway here at KROQ. If you need us, 800-520-1067 to call and to text. And I know that you've been collecting soundbites all month long to see which one of us accidentally or out of context says the gayest phrase in the month of June, Pride Month.

And, Omar, I don't know if there's anything you have there near your fingertips just to give us a sense of kind of what some of the frontrunners are at this point. I know that you, on Friday, were nominated. Yes, JB. When you were talking about your... I got a jug of... Go ahead.

Sorry, sorry, my bad, my bad. Those were all on the air. I was trying to figure out which one is the frontrunner. All right, this is my frontrunner here. I got a jug of jizz. That's a frontrunner. Who wants it? Me only?

We still have a few days left of the month, so everything we say can and will be used against us. And if you hear us say something on the air that could win the gayest soundbite of the month, let us know on the Goat Moment. A good night. That's strange, for sure. I remember that. I don't even know what that was from.

That was talking about Tom Brady's new brand of coconut water and how Gronk was going to name it. Good night. I don't know. But it's out of context, a great gay clip. It is. Well, we'll get to all of those coming up later this month. And if you hear us say something, please don't be a stranger.

Leave the message on the GOAT line where you route us out, 844-956-GOAT. There's been a lot of drama here happening on the air and off the air. You've got the whole Allie pregnancy saga that's been taking place. You've got all the things happening behind the scenes. And then you've got Jake, stubborn Jake, that just won't let go. This one-sided argument that he's been stuck in about Buc-ee's not being a gas station. It's more of a store than anything else. This is why we felt important to share with you this story that came out over the weekend.

Well, Buc-ee's doesn't officially open until Monday, but today, a special treat for first responders and their families. They were kind of like looking around like, this is a gas station? It's just crazy to have all this on shelf. This is the biggest gas station I've ever seen. Just a couple of people just commenting on the local news about how great the gas station Buc-ee's was. Jake says it's not a gas station. It's a store that happens to sell gas, according to Jake. I just can't get over it.

For a gas station, this place is insanely clean. Another person saying that as well. Stupid kid. This is not AI, Jake. These are real people. Real people. Here we go. Here we go.

of the Press on the Board! Press on the Board! What is happening? They're chanting gas. That's what they're chanting. These will certainly be flying off the shelves Monday.

Now, if you are coming out, the parking lot's going to open at midnight. The store opens at 6 a.m., but they are expecting thousands of people, miles of lines, so be prepared and be patient. People are all excited about the store. Buc-ee's gas station. That's the opening of the one in Arizona.

People are making their way from Southern California over there so they can load up our gas. All of the people they interviewed said it was a gas station. They went out of their way to call it a gas station. They went out of their way to go there for what? The gas? No. The store. I'm just saying they're calling it a gas station. Mother idiots.

They said miles and miles of lines of people. You gotta be an idiot to go there anyway. At one point Jake, when are you going to admit you're the idiot? I'm not. I'm right. It's a storm or anything else. Remember this story from last week, Allie? To be able to meet Randy, the pit master, be able

to meet Mr. Bucky himself. To say that people are excited would be an understatement, but the one thing that we can all agree on is that Bucky's is and always has been a gas station. Reporting live from Bucky's, a gas station, Nicole Levy, ABC 15 News.

Get that AI slap out of here. All right. So that was just another story. But Jake is convinced, though, that we're all wrong and he's right. Yeah, even though we've given him countless examples. And nobody cared about Buc-ee's before today. And there are a ton of YouTube videos labeled, I went to the largest gas station, Buc-ee's. Yeah.

A ton of YouTube videos. It says on their website they're a gas station. People go there for, like, the barbecue and stuff for the store. They don't go there for gas. Okay. And why are there rows and rows and rows of pumps? Well, because there's gas there, but they go from one place to the other. Ken Rock, we're your Klein Alley Show.

There's a lot of talk about tipping these days. Understandably, you've got that screen of shame, and they want that smiley face, and they're demanding tips. There's more and more ways to tip than ever before. We've apparently reached the tipping point on tipping. And then we've got all of these now visitors from other lands that are here in America for World Cup. And in those lands, tipping ain't really a thing.

So now there's been all of this interesting feeling of what's great to have all this money that's coming in as people are celebrating world cup fever but a lot of the people coming from countries tipping is not on their radar all these scottish people drinking the bars dry and then leaving a two dollar tip on a two hundred dollar bill but that's kind of what they do there and i think this is a great opportunity for america to change their policy on tipping this is what it's like yes and i know it's going to be hard to get used to but i think this is a moment of opportunity to shift gears a little bit because we have reached the tipping point cheap alley is going to start dressing up and speaking an accent

like she's visiting from a foreign land just so that she can leave without tipping i could just see you going to some hello could i please have a burger i've seen you a million times leave it exact to the penny i'll round up oh it's my culture good day but that's you know in some other countries that's the beauty of when you were saying one of the best parts of when you went over to europe this past year is that it's not expected and as a result you don't feel guilt and they're doing it, so you just pay your bill and you move on. Yes, but the thing is, when you're an American visiting another country, they still expect you to tip because they think you're a dumb American

who thinks they have to tip. So that was also a weird adjustment. I thought a lot of the restaurants were going to adjust and inflate their prices. Well, yeah, that's part of it, too. They're spending lots of money still. They're just not necessarily tipping the wait staff, which I know that the servers, that's your livelihood is those tips. There's a few places you go to now.

There's no tip line, and you go, oh, wow, this is great, and then you read a little fine print and it says we jacked up your bill and we don't accept tips here, but a portion of whatever you spend is going to the server so they can have a livable wage. You go, okay, cool.

That's good. I'm totally happy with that. It's this discretionary thing, the feeling tipsy or you got a tip here. Oh, they have to do little cute things. I got asked to tip for housekeeping that wasn't even housekeeping

at a hotel this weekend. Three days. They only clean the hotel room every three days so they don't visit at all before the third day. So you weren't there for three days. I was there for exactly three days.

Right. So then it's like, I mean, yeah, it was like Friday night to, right. So yeah, it wasn't even a full three days. So then they came and maybe dropped off a couple of towels. But if you need any coffee pods refilled, you have to ask for all that stuff and go all the way downstairs and get it. And then there's still a little screen, a little card in your room that said, hey, feeling tipsy, scan this QR code.

And I'm like, tip who? For what? Yeah, you had to go down and do it. Yeah, but is this the Motel 6 you're staying at? Or what kind of hotel is this? It was? I mean, it was a Hilton Garden Inn, but it was a Hilton Inn. Oh, okay.

And I asked if the breakfast was included, and it used to be, and it is no longer. Yeah. But all that stuff. No continental? No continental nothing. But damn. Not even a Belgian waffle that I could make myself. There's a woman that's gone a bit viral this weekend in the world of tipping because she claims that she can pretty much tell when you go in there, I guess based on what you order, if you're going to tip at all.

That's her whole theory. Well, yeah, there's a couple of red flags. You're going to be a bad tipper. She can tell right away, immediately, almost before you even sit down. Yes. She said that one of the first things is people who try and make their own concoctions. Like, can I please just have a bunch of lemons and some sugar? I'm going to make my own lemonade.

Right. Or I'm going to order all these sides and create a burger out of the sides. Like people who are trying to Frankenstein their own meal or beverage. Those are red flag bad tippers. but people who are overly nice or they call them verbal tippers people who are like i'm so so overly nice to the server you look so beautiful thank you so much the service has been so great i tipped with compliments instead of money exactly they will leave a crappy tip and you think that they're going to give you a good tip because they're being so nice to you but it's actually the opposite

and then the other one is uh people who will try and fit into some kind of a happy hour window when they're not in the happy hour window, like, hey, I'm going to order all this stuff, but can you please not charge me? Don't ring any of it up until five o'clock, because that's when happy hour starts. Or you get there three minutes before it ends, and you go, can I put all this in now, but you can just go ahead and bring it up. Yeah, I'm going to order seven beers and five orders of pot wings. Yeah, but bring them every 20 minutes, but I'll pay right now and close the tab.

And those people, they say, are the red flag bad tippers as well. Well, that's pretty obvious right there. We take a break. When we get back, a gift for you to the tune of tickets. It's a lightning round edition of Giant Doesn't Know. up for grabs tickets for you to go see matt rife telling jokes at the greek uh that's on the 13th of july tickets ticketmaster.com but you can win them from us youngest man to ever sell out the hollywood bowl when he was here and did that for the first time youngest comedian to do that now

he'll be at the greek we'd love to get you into the show and all you have to do is uh predict will johnny know or not know the answer to a very easy question he's still all messed up about ipo which is what we asked him on friday or last week we said what does ipo stand for he we never told him the right answer. So he's still asking. I don't think he knows how to search for the answer to that. No, no, no. Because he tried to ask Siri and he didn't even know how to ask her. He said to me, what's this IPO thing you're yapping about? And I said, the IPO thing still? He goes, yeah, but why? It's IPO. I go, oh boy. He thought there was a T in it. We'll take a quick break. We're back in a moment. Your chance to play and win after

this. Matt Reif tickets will be yours if you're able to predict will Johnny know the answer or not to a very simple question. It's a one question lightning round of Johnny Doesn't Know. Making his way to the KROQ Studios right now and then he'll be boarding that bus to Santa Barbara. He'll have more chances to get on that bus again today at noon, 3 and 6, and a couple of chances every morning this week right here on KROQ.

The bus to Santa Barbara for some Royal Otis with your camp counselor Postmaster Johnny. Right now, though, it's time for Johnny Doesn't Know. Johnny doesn't know. Oh, Johnny doesn't know. I didn't know Vegas was like in VAT for like a while. Johnny doesn't know.

Johnny doesn't know Gelato sounds like Jell-O Johnny doesn't know It like goes Wiggles Alright Johnny How you feeling today? I'm feeling really great

But you're looking a little spent Tired That skunk spray really got you Tired Well it's funny I didn't realize on the wheel Of things I was supposed to do this weekend Or this summer

For fun or summer One of my things was pull an all-nighter The night of the skunk Technically I did not sleep But it was not a fun all-nighter So I'm not going to count that But I was between the shampoos every 15 minutes, the smell of the skunk, the moving out of the room, the sleeping on the couch. That was one of those nights where no sleep was had.

Yikes. Terrible. And I've been trying to grind it out because technically I did tell you guys once summer officially begins, I will show you all the progress I've made and shredded for summer. Oh, so you're working out too much? I've been trying to get in two a days. And Klein's pretty ripped. I'm not going to lie.

He's shown me a couple times. Bro is, sorry. It's been falling apart. Yeah. Did Vanessa just laugh at you? Yes. Yeah. I laughed at Johnny.

And this weekend, I fell apart big time because I feasted. Wait a minute. He's been showing you. That's why I laughed. We've been down in the gym putting in the work, and Klein's actually getting at it. And did he take his shirt off and show you? Yeah. We all, like, dude, gym guys do that.

I'm not a gym guy. You're a gym guy now, Klein? I'm not a gym guy. Did you voluntarily take your shirt off in front of Johnny? No, I take my shirt. There's a locker room there. Yeah, there's a locker room. Oh, okay.

This was already happening in the locker room? Yeah, there's a locker room. And then Johnny goes to the shower and sings to himself at the top of his lungs for an hour. Who doesn't sing in the shower? Full Radiohead albums. Yes, who doesn't sing in the shower? Steven in Pasadena, good morning. Welcome to Johnny Doesn't Know.

Hello, Steven. Yes. Got one question here for Johnny. You're in a helicopter. We're going to see whether or not Johnny's able to get this right or wrong. And all you have to do is predict, will he get it right or will he get it wrong? And the question for Johnny is as follows. Johnny, what part of the body is comprised of the carpus and the metacarpus?

Will Johnny know this, yes or no? Pretty easy question. Johnny's going to think about it for a moment. What do you think? You think Johnny knows this one? Up for grabs tickets for you to see Matt Reif. He does not know. Does not know.

Oh, this is not going to be good. he does not know but he does know that he's making a left hand turn on market street right now unbelievable

that's right thank you is everyone are you calling us from a chopper sir no my phone it works it's horrible

are you sure I hope so okay just making sure thanks that's uh Steven in Pasadena uh

Steven in Pasadena with the call from high above says Johnny will not know from 30,000 feet uh Johnny or part of the body

is comprised of the carpus and the metacarpus. Damn. I need a definition for comprised. Oh, man.

That's the word that's tripping you up? When you said comprised, I was like, well, he's good. Oh, really? What do you think comprised is?

Well, I got to mean like part of, like it comes from, it stems from, comprised. It's not made up of completely. It kind of comes from

or is adjacent to, you know, that's what I think it means. You're saying, like, three different things now. Yeah. I'm just waiting to see if that sticks. So which part of the body is comprised of the carpus, the metacarpus? Carpus sounds like carpal, like carpal tunnel. And I know that's something old people get in their, like, fingers and in their bones. Just in their fingers, you think?

Well, probably everywhere else, too, like their neck and, like, their arms and crap like that. But I think it comes from, like, cracking your knuckles, too. Because a lot of old people tell me, don't crack your knuckles. You're going to get carpal tunnel or get, like, arthritis and stuff like that, you know? So you said carpus? So where were we? Where were we? Ali eats carpus.

Carpus and metacarpus, which part of the body do those comprise to make up? Damn. Let's go with hand. I'm going to go with somewhere in the hand. Steven, you said Johnny wouldn't know. I felt really strong about your guess. I really did. And every once in a while, he does this, where he stumbles into the right answer.

Yes. The hand is comprised of a combination of the carpus. Carpus, carpal. And the metacarpus. So sorry, Stephen. Those tickets are not yours, which means good news for you, caller 20. You're going to go see Matt Reif right now at 800-520-1067 on KROQ. Jason from Ontario, congratulations.

Matt Reif, tickets are as good as yours. more chances to win your way on the bus to see Royal Otis, Santa Barbara and more Matt Rife tickets as well earlier today I got to give away another TV got to give away that trip to go see Evanescence in Montreal and I forget what else we did but I'm sure we were really generous

oh yeah and we gave away that $500 courtesy of Vons Albertsons Pavilion so thanks for that as well you know Jake occasionally it's been a while since we've done a round of do you know the band on your shirt where Jake approaches people wearing shirts with bands on them and then he assumes if you're wearing the band on the shirt you must be a fan of the band but you better believe

when he ran across a guy wearing a Tool shirt. He ran, sprinted over, because when two Tool fans meet in the wild... They got to spiral out. They have to spiral out, and this is how that uncomfortable exchange took place. What's your name? Elias. My name's Elias. Nice to meet you.

Where you from? I live in Burbank. Elias, you're wearing a Tool shirt. Absolutely. I actually got it from a shop up in San Jose when I lived up there, but... You know what's funny, though? You smell like the store that I bought it from,

which is really weird. So he's saying that Jake smells like the store that he bought the old sweaty tool shirt in. Yes, because all of those stores smell like incense and patchouli. Yeah. That's good smells. And that like unrecognizable funk. Yes, and it's like layers of it. It's thick.

The air is thick in those stores. I know those stores. There used to be a few of those stores on Melrose. I don't even know if they're still open, but that smell is an undeniable smell. And you feel like it sticks on you as you leave the store, no matter how short of a period you're in there. And it's weird, because I feel like the smell, when it's times a thousand powered, is kind of a good smell. But individually, when it's just the one of that, then it just smells off. Yeah, exactly.

So anyway, congratulations, Jake. Smells like that man's shirt. Did that guy know anything? Or we don't care? We could play the game. We don't have time to play it today, but maybe tomorrow we'll squeeze in a round of Do You Know The Band On Your Shirt tool. If anyone wants to stick around for that. Nope.

the text line's voting no let's give you somber it's called homewrecker then we'll get out of here with takeaways from today's show if you got them for us, text line's open for you right now 844-956-GOAT it's the GOAT line, 800-520-1067 to text the show

somber, it's called homewrecker it's KROQ, we're Klein Alley Show get the hell out of here, don't worry, Sluggo's coming in a moment Sluggo brings with him more spots for you to get on that bus to Santa Barbara, see some Royal Otis win your way on the bus it's the only way to get to the show And it'll be a K-Rock party bus

Maybe a banger bus, we're not exactly sure Maybe a baddie bus A lot of options Status of bus TBD TBD Takeaways from today's show What do we got? 949, my takeaway is if it's not gay

If it's not gay, if it's in the locker room 909, my takeaway is Summer is the summer Summer is the summer, baby That's what they say Very poignant Every time around this year, that's what they say Summer is the summer

213, my takeaway is Jerry's got a skunk. Jerry's got a skunk. Man. A lot of people have been tipping me off of all the other things I did wrong. It's nice to know that after the fact, isn't it? Yeah, I mean, a lot of people, they claim that their dogs have also been skunked this year, and they handled it a lot better than I did. 562, my takeaway, is the greatest defensive move is spray ass.

Spray ass works for humans and skunks. 310, heat is kryptonite for old people. And 650, my takeaway is Klein needs an intermission when he takes a shower. I like to sit down sometimes in the shower. Just take a little seat right there on the shower floor. Just your bare ass on the floor. I feel like I'm not relaxing enough standing here like a loser working overtime. I just want to sit.

If you need us in the meantime, there's a GOAT line for you. 844-956-GOAT. You can also get in the Instagram, Klein Alley Show. We're on TikTok as well. And our YouTube where you can see all of today's show in its entirety. Or clips, choice clips, all on KROQ's YouTube. Thank you for subscribing. Everyone says thank you for subscribing and you don't plan on doing it.

In this particular case, do it. spend a minute, and make our bosses love us for at least another 35 seconds. Your takeaway from today's show, Postmaster Johnny? An angry listener is on his way to Skid Row to meet Miles the DJ. That's right. He doesn't like any more Evanescence. Miles, you need to be at Skid Row at 7 p.m. tonight to meet this listener. Right in prime time.

Vanessa, takeaway? Can't throw them off the tree. Do you remember you said that, Klein? You guys. Klein, we talked about this for pre-K. And then Klein's like, oh, throw them off the tree. You see what happens. The tree?

I don't know what she's talking about. Is she talking about throwing them in the pool? Is she talking about this show? No, you said tree. She's different. This is a different show. Are you listening to that Pollo radio show guy? El Polito?

Pollo? I don't know that show. Who's that guy? El Piolín, maybe? Are you listening to El Piolín? Or El Cucuy? No, I was listening to Kevin Kline. She were?

And he said throw them off the tree. When we were talking about Ali's kids, he's going to TK or whatever. And then Klein said, nowadays, you can't just throw them off the tree. Throw them off the tree like a bird. Oh, like a baby bird thing. I remember that. Thank you, Jake. Now it's funny.

Now we need a translator. Jake, take away from today's show. Yeah, it's not a tutu. It's a leotard. That's right. It is. What else is going to sound like? It's for boys.

Through a locker. It's not a tutu. It's a leotard. It's a leotard. Shut up, Wesley. I thought it was the boys' section. He picked it out himself. It's in the boys' dance section.

All these kids are going straight to the lockers in TK. No lockers. They have cubbies. They'll build a locker for that. They're open cubbies. We have one locker for throwing this leertard kid in here. And it's your turn in the locker today again, Wesley. Omar, your takeaway from today's show.

My takeaway is that Klein wants a better-looking dong than George Clooney. That's right. That's all I want to say. This song's better than Clooney's. Have a great day. Do it tomorrow. Try to do it better. Here's a jingle so you don't forget us between now and then.

Bye. Clown and Allie, it's just okay. Clown and Allie, it's just okay. Clown and Allie, it's just okay. Just, just, just, just okay. Well, that's all we got for you. We know you were hoping it would be better. Trust me when I say we were too.

But for those of you with learning differences, this episode comes with a visual aid in the form of a live stream on YouTube. That's right. You can see the show you just listened to with a bunch of more weird, awkward moments where there's music and commercials playing and Allie and I are just sitting there

picking at our faces. Yeah, so if you go to KROQ's YouTube, you can watch it live or you can watch it after the fact. And as always, you can catch us on Instagram at KleinAllieShow and on TikTok as well.

And there's a live show, by the way, on the radio. Okay, volleyball!