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About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be.
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Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show.
Apparently yesterday and this week there were a couple of shakers in California.
Northern California got a few. I think Oakland got some shakers yesterday.
They apparently have been up and down this fault line. People are very concerned.
There's been a lot of talk about are these little shakers going to trigger the big one?
And we're next in line and we've seen the big one happen.
I mean, it was Columbia earlier this week and it was Japan last week.
And there's been a lot of these seven-pointers that have been hitting all over the place.
Vanessa is convinced it's our turn next, and we talked about, do you have a plan?
Are you prepared?
Do you have your go-bag ready or your bucket of supplies in case you have to survive without power?
Do you have your flashlight, your crank radio, all that crap?
This person on the GOAT line has a plan that's very different than any other plan, and I think we should think about this.
Hey, you freak me out even more about earthquakes than I've already been freaked out my whole life, but I have a plan.
What you want to do on each nightstand is put a professional football helmet on.
So this guy's plan is on both nightstands next to the bed,
you have two NFL helmets ready to go for you and your partner
so that if you wake up, I mean, the odds are it will probably happen
in the middle of the night just because, you know,
they've spent a lot of time in bed, so you're in bed.
Like the core.
So on my side, I have the Redskins.
My wife's side, the Broncos.
If you wake up in the middle of the night with an earthquake,
you reach over, grab the helmet, strap it on.
You're protected the head, the neck.
Now all you need is some shoes.
Anything else, Dave?
Nope, she has nothing to add.
Well, clearly that guy's single, but regardless, it's an interesting plan that he puts a football helmet next to the bed,
which looks like great decor, but if he needs to, he throws that on in case of an earthquake.
So why not go with, like, some sort of construction hard hat or something with a fucking flyslip?
Yeah, because it doesn't make as good a decor as clearly the fact that he's rocking an old school...
You know, we just put it under the bed, I guess.
Construction helmet will just look ridiculous.
Yeah, it's weak, man.
Yeah, so this guy's got two football helmets on both nightstands.
I have more problems with the teams he chose.
Yeah, that's a problem.
Which one will God kill first?
Right, right.
Also, I can imagine just trying to convince your wife to decorate with football helmets next to the bed would be very challenging.
Every girl is like, absolutely not.
I'd rather die.
I would need to put a helmet on just to announce that to my wife.
But I do think that the football helmet would be the best option because it covers your ears and everything, too.
The construction hat just goes right on top.
Right.
So you'd have more protection, I think.
I guess that is the biggest concern. I mean, I always think about the eating concept. What am I going to possibly eat and how long before we have to go full cannibalism?
I just assume that it's like all preparation where even though I have a go bag sitting somewhere, what are the chances that I am going to be in that location, that that go bag will be accessible to me?
Will I even be home when this is happening? When these big earthquakes happen, how many people are really using those emergency supplies?
Well.
Or are they just getting to a shelter, right?
I mean, most people, they would go to a shelter or they would wait to be rescued.
That's probably your two, if it gets bad enough, because that's the idea.
How often are these things being used in emergencies?
All I will say is that I did not realize that my go bag was my go bag.
And I thought it was a backpack that my wife had purchased for my kids back to school this year.
And because I hadn't seen it before and it was bright red.
So I took all the stuff out that was in it.
And it was a lot of that ready meal crap and everything.
And I said, because she didn't have a new backpack for school, which apparently is a big deal because her last backpack had lice or whatever.
So I gave her the go bag for the first day of school backpack.
So now my stuff is just loose in the closet, all my emergency kit stuff.
So your kid's going to school with an emergency backpack?
Only day one.
She's changed it out now.
Apparently it was a big, yeah, it was not cool, I guess.
But I kind of feel like most kid backpacks would be perfect for an emergency situation.
I have a bag full of snacks on the ready for most things when you have kids, right?
So that's pretty much a go bag.
Yeah, but you got to have the stuff that we don't think about.
Like, I don't know why the whistle is so important, but apparently the whistle is huge.
Well, if you're trapped under rubble, but then again, you have to be able to reach the whistle, put the whistle on, blow the whistle, blow it loud enough for somebody to hear.
Like think about the Titanic, how many people actually responded to a whistle?
Well, also at that point, it doesn't matter if you're sitting on a melting iceberg blowing a whistle, you're just going to blow on a whistle.
It's what an annoying noise.
But at the end of Titanic, she hadn't had that whistle.
She'd be dead.
Can't you just do that?
It's God's whistle right there.
Is that that old man that can blow a really loud whistle that you need that guy like that?
So anyway, if you're up, I don't know.
I guess people now I don't know why it feels I know they say we're overdue for the big one.
There's a lot of stories about it this week particularly, and then all the shakers yesterday, they're saying that there's some fault line that's like the hidden fault line, and everyone's all freaked out that California's going to break off and float into the ocean.
That'd be kind of nice, actually.
714 said, all these earthquakes have freaked me out so bad, I just spent $700 on a huge earthquake kit and supplies.
But then you also have to keep replacing the supplies because they have expiration dates.
Yeah, but you get 10 good years out of them, and I feel like I know you can.
Oh, you do?
I think you do.
So, yeah, a lot of it.
$700 sounds like so much.
Are you going to lug that stuff around?
Yeah, what's in that?
Yeah, I'm telling you right now, that thing's probably enough to keep.
Some of them will say things like, I got one of those buckets one time.
They said it could keep me alive for a week, but it was only for two people.
So sometimes you've got to get enough supplies to keep six people alive.
An earthquake bucket?
Yeah, it was an earthquake bucket.
Oh, buckets are very valuable.
I know.
In the apocalypse, that'll be big currency.
But, yeah, oh, yeah, you think you're not doing well now.
wait till after the big one you got a bucket you're living life so i found a 700 earthquake
kit it contains emergency water pouches a 3600 calorie emergency food bar wow that's not what
oh that's multiple bars sorry so just one of them with 3600 calories a water filter a personal
water filter so you should like pee and turn it into drinkable water that's not what that does
a personal water filter it's not to pee and drink your own urine if you need to that's not what
that's for, you idiot. Yes, it's to filter the water.
Not urine. It's not going to filter. Eventually,
if you have no other option.
No, Allie. Why don't you just buy bottles of water?
Well, there's emergency water pouches
too, but when you run out, you gotta
clean your pee. Then you got emergency
radio, of course. How long
are you surviving for? It's like
zombie apocalypse stuff. Yeah, exactly.
That's what I'm saying. This isn't for decades
of... Allie, you gotta read the instructions
on this kit, because you're on the second item
and you're already doing it wrong. I don't even use my fridge
filter anymore. I use my pee.
Okay, great.
Also, what happens if you drop $700 on this, and then the big one happens, and you're not even home with your emergency kit?
That's what I'm saying, is when are you available to use this and access it?
Right, so you've got to wear it around all the time.
Work gloves, a paracord, safety goggles, duct tape, emergency signage, an emergency signal mirror.
It's all easy for us to joke about this now, but if, you know, when the big one happens, we all go,
God damn, if only I had these emergency, if only I had work gloves now, I could move this wire off of me or whatever.
Right, and then half of this is useless.
A comb? Who needs a comb?
A washcloth? A toothbrush with a cap?
I mean, stop.
Half this stuff you don't need.
Well, that's true. Half of it you don't.
But they like to say it has 57 items in it or whatever, you know?
So anyway, if anyone would like to use this man's method,
he's got two football helmets next to his bed,
ready for the big one and ready for the NFL season,
which is almost here, which is very exciting.
We've got to take a quick break.
Caroline, quickly, though, go ahead.
You're on KROQ. Hi.
Hi. Nice to talk to you guys.
Nice to talk to you.
What's up?
So I have to go back online.
Right next to my door, I have a radio.
It has food for my cat.
It has emergency clothes for us.
And then I have a food container that is the stuff that you can buy on Amazon.
I have one in my storage, and I have one in the apartment.
When that stuff starts to expire, do you feel the need?
Like if you go, I've had this before, do you feast on the expired food before it goes bad,
before you reload it, or is this your first one?
Well, these are the first ones,
and actually these, when I bought it,
it was meant to...
It's those kind of stuff that is dried,
so it does last for about 25 years.
It has that kind of shelf storage.
Yeah, but I mean, let's be honest.
If it's not that great tasting,
or it feels like a little expired...
I'd rather eat my family first.
Who are you going to complain to, right?
How are you going to clean your pee?
At least it's fresh.
I'll let you go family at a table.
510 said, I work in San Leandro
where the earthquake just hit yesterday.
I was on the toilet, shook the hell out of me, and I just bought earthquake insurance
that costs almost as much as my entire homeowner's policy.
So that's the other thing.
We got all that to look forward to.
Preparedness is overrated.
Let's get through the big one because Vanessa claims we're in the middle of, quote, dark
days right now.
So let's get through it as quickly as humanly possible.
We'll be right back after this quick break with news and more after this.