Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - FULL SHOW 7-7!!!

Episode Date: July 7, 2026

In today's show Klein does bathroom interviews, we bet your feet, we have a lez off, play the smell game, Ally practices her Spanish and we have an AMA with a nurse

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Finally, someone far more qualified than us to be on these airwaves.

We say good morning to Kevin Ryder. Good morning, Kevin Ryder. Hey, what's up? Thank you so much, sarcastically, for making me spend so much of my time these past two weeks sitting in public bathrooms for what clearly— Isn't it shocking how long it takes to get an interviewer to? Dude, it is. I would come in here every day and I would say, Don't worry, tomorrow I'll have bathroom interviews done.

And then I would go and I would set up shop in a bathroom and sit and wait and wait and wait. And maybe no one would come or maybe someone would and they would say nothing to me. I would be ignored. And I said, no wonder Kevin Ryder forced me to try to do this one because he knew how miserable it would make me. It is the worst one, yes. It's the worst one. It's by far the worst one. Wait, in both you and Klein's cases, Kevin, did you talk to people and they just wouldn't respond?

What was the main problem you ran into? probably 50 wouldn't respond wow that's and then they would probably just leave and go tell the first person they saw and be like this weird dude was talking to me in the bathroom but i would but i was really aggressive i would knock on the wall next to me hey dude i'm talking to you how many successful bathroom interviews were you able to actually complete and this was something that you did you know i mean we're talking now going back oh i mean two decades i don't even know how long it was jimmy kimmel was involved so this was yeah it was 90s mid 90s mid 90s so it's been a long time since this bit has ever been on the airwaves of k-rock and i think the

reason you gave up doing it was because did you ever get reported and thrown out of a mall or did you was it because um it just was too hard to do we got reported and thrown out of a mall yes But, honestly, it took too much time sitting in a smelly bathroom. Yeah. I probably got a dozen total in three years or something like that. Wow. Yeah, but, Kevin, you would agree that the interviews that you got with Radio Gold, dude, they were super funny. They were great.

Yeah, I think they were great. I got a guy to invite me to Thanksgiving dinner. That's right. That's incredible. I didn't have that. We could be crapping in a house. I didn't have the same level of success. And I want to know how many of your days felt like this.

Because this was, I'm going to first play you the crop of fails, and here's what they sounded like. Excuse me. Excuse me. Yo, brown shoes. Brown shoes. Hello. How many of yours just sounded like that? You yelling at someone based on their shoes and them not responding.

Was that a normal thing? I wasn't that much of a pussy. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. What? I didn't want the guy. Excuse me, sir.

I was trying to be like. Proud to host everybody. Trying to be respectful. Don't worry. I toughened up for this one. What's up, dude? Nice Nikes. You guys got a sign for an interview?

Hello? So, there's a lot of ignores. That guy actually just got up and left the stall. So, like, once again, there was a lot of that that I encountered, too. It finally got someone to come in just to take a dump next to you, which in normal world is the worst possible scenario to happen. In this world, when you're waiting for the interview, you go, please come and pick the stall next to me. And then they come in and you go, please sit down because you don't know if they're going to stand and do a number one. And then when they finally sit down, you have this moment of, oh, thank God they're sitting.

Thank God they're taking a crap next to me, which is the opposite in normal life. So after many failed attempts, here is the only one I was able to successfully get. And let's get your official feedback. Kevin Ryder will give us his score on the bit reboot. Yo, Nikes. Yo, you calling me, man? Yeah, this is at Mendocino Farms, I want to point out. Shout out Mendocino Farms.

Wow, what a place to take a drive. Yo, Nikes. Yo, you calling me, man? Yeah, what's up, dude? What up, what up? You got a quick second? What up, what up? Yeah, hey.

Oh, crabbing. What are you doing? What's crabbing, dude? What I realized early on is when I let them sit for a while to get comfortable and then I jumped in, they never responded. But my plan on this guy- Oh, wow. Just right now.

The second a new guy wanted. He's in the world now. Yeah, I wanted to make him feel like they were coming into an already established situation. Like, hey, I'm here. Right. That was my plan. So I tried to add the confidence back to it. So I wasn't, yeah.

Yeah, what's up, dude? What up, what up? You got a quick second for a chat? I mean, I'm kind of busy right now, bro. I just want to get, I'm trying to get thoughts about James Van Der Beek. Obviously, recent passing. Any thoughts about that? I mean, you want me to do this here?

Taking care of some private moments, right? Yeah, well, I just, I do a thing. I don't know if you've heard about it. It's a pretty popular segment called Bathroom Interviews where I get people's uncandid responses to things while they're currently in the bathroom. Okay. I mean...

So any... The stupid... Did you just dump out? No, the auto flush. Because I didn't want to... Oh, they didn't have auto flush in the 90s. Yeah, the stupid auto flusher was going off on my toilet because I wasn't...

Because at one point, the toilet just goes, why are you still here? Right. I'm going to flush to remind you to get up. Right, when you sit there long enough, it's basically, it's like red lighting you at a comedy club. It's like, get the hell out of here. So it flushed on me. Any thoughts?

I mean, I'm sure he was a good guy. I don't know who he is, to be honest. But I'm sure he was a well-teamed person. So that was the tribute to James Van Der Beek from the bathroom. And, you know, not a great tribute, but, I mean, it was a tribute nonetheless. Any hopes and dreams for the rest? What's that, Kevin? It was a terrific tribute.

Oh, okay. He said, I'm sure he was a great guy. I didn't really know him. Here's the tribute. I mean, I'm sure he was a good guy. I don't know who that is, to be honest. But I'm sure he was a well-teamed person. Any hopes and dreams for the rest of the day

in the next couple minutes? That I'm able to finish this situation here. All right, that's beautiful. All right, thank you. You've been featured on bathroom interviews. All right, bye, Mom. all right hi mom yeah i gave a shout out to his mom when i told him well uh kevin rider is that a bit worth retiring once and for all yes yes it is thank you well done i don't know that i would

have gone with dead james vanderby but you gotta do what you gotta do i was trying to come up with a buzzy topic that people would have thoughts about and that was the buzzy topic of of the moment but uh those are not fun and uh kudos to you kevin don't you think klein could do a better job and a funnier job if he does at least one more. I think it does take some work. You've got to really put some time into it, Kevin. Don't you think Omar, who loves spending time in the bathroom

for all of his stupid pictures, don't you think he should deliver a bathroom interview? I'm not as funny as you. You could be. I'm not. Clearly, I'm not. You're funnier than me. No, no, no. You're the funny one. I have a new challenge for you guys. Okay. It's one that I failed.

And we would do a listener's job for them for the day. and we went to a morgue and I walked in and the smell was so bad I turned right around and walked back out and Dean

stayed in there for like an hour I don't know what he was doing but he loved it that checks out Kevin when you do this bit didn't you guys use aliases for some odd reason oh I think we did yeah

something in Honus or something I don't know why Just for some random ass reason Raheem and Honus That's right I remember you did the bit listeners job So you went to the morgue We met a listener one time

That works in a morgue That does the makeup for the dead body Family business Go there and do that with them Cool And who from the show gets to do that one That's you and Allie No

Raheem and Honus Yeah, you guys are Raheem and Honus now I don't want to be Honus You're definitely Raheem Honus is the bottom Kevin Ryder, that'll be the next challenge In Bit Reboot, we'll have to go do a listener's job If anyone works at a morgue and would like to have us

Come in and do the job with you, I guess we have to And I don't know why we've done this You will throw up In this situation, I will be the Kevin And you will be the Bean Now we'll stick around and bang the body for sure. All right. Well, Kevin Ryder, always a pleasure.

Thank you for joining us, and thank you for letting us disparage your great legacy here at KROQ. No worries. Thank you. All right. Back in a moment. Talking fetishes, because we haven't done Bet Your Fet in a while. Opportunity for us to go ahead and gamble on what your fetishes actually are, and no

judgment here. No, and I think there's actually a lot less stigma around people with fetishes these days. A lot less. Everyone can find their group. You may be one of those weirdos that likes to pop balloons or whatever, and there's other people that also want to do that with you so it's kind of cool if you're into some sort of a weird niche kink because there's other people that are like hey that's my that's my sweet spot as well yeah and thanks to the internet there are all kinds of places where you can access those kinks

and find other people that have them most people will celebrate that although not didn't go well for this uh person who was a police officer and their fetish i guess got them into trouble which can happen if you you know sometimes cross the blurry line between your work and your fetish and she made one big mistake that everyone knows you can't do. Well, a veteran sheriff's deputy has resigned after an internal affairs investigation found that she had a side job. Turns out she was posting pictures of her feet on a fetish site. The report concluded it was conduct that could have tarnished the reputation of the agency. Now, I think a lot of people are posting pictures of their feet. I didn't realize how many people are doing it, but apparently it's

a great way to make some money i've tried to make money doing that it my feet are not anything that anybody wants and i'm sad about that but if you have decent looking feet it seems like just taking a couple of weird pictures and putting them up online it's a great side hustle but also oh man i'd have those feet yeah not mine that guy'll pay but but even even if uh you have gangly feet i would still think there's a market for that too like i know you think it's all about having nice feet but i i'm not into feet at all but i would imagine that someone someone's in the ganglies Yeah, I would imagine. Let me see.

You have to get Jake to do it. Jesus, Allie's foot is growing. Look at this on YouTube right now. That'll cure your fetish. Hey, Duke, that's the kind of a trick I can do. Oh, my. What is that? That looks terrible.

Whoa. You have weird-ass toes and those giant cankles. I know. They're really long. Oh. I don't know why. I don't paint them anymore either because you can't put lipstick on a pig. That's a good point.

Enjoy your breakfast, everyone. Yeah. I hope you're looking at Allie's feet right there. I hope you're not eating ham. Slightly discolored. This woman that lost her job, part of the problem is that I think she was taking pictures of her feet with her uniform on. That's always what ends up biting you in the ass. Well, that's hotter, though.

Yeah, but that's when it becomes a problem, I guess. Men with a foot fetish can find things that interest them on a website called FeetFinder.com. This guy, I like it how this guy's saying that like he doesn't know. Well, I don't know about this story. Regularly, right. And content creators can sell photos and videos of their feet for paying customers. An internal affairs investigation reveals Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office Deputy Sheriff Brandy Tenlon published inappropriate and pornographic images and videos on that site, and she performed sexual acts in exchange for money. Sexual feed acts?

That's where I, they kind of explain it, it doesn't sound that sexual. Her handle was girl with dragon foot tattoo. So if you're a follower of girl with dragon foot tattoo, sadly she's lost her other gig. She earned about $6,000 over a 16-month period. That's a good side hustle. When not in the uniform, Tenlin wore lingerie, a martial arts uniform, or other clothes and performed erotic poses, but was not nude. Some of the photos and videos, quote, showed Deputy Sheriff Tenlin's feet only at the beach, riding a bike, crushing items such as fruit, toys, or several videos of her crushing live crickets with her bare feet. Jake, I'm sorry, dude.

Those are your biggest fans. I love this lady. No, we must live for Jake. She was taking... Go, Dragonfoot Lady. Dragonfoot Lady was crushing Jake's biggest comedy audience, his crickets. Toys or several videos of her crushing live crickets with her bare feet. You've got to use her at your comedy show.

Take care of those crickets. You know, it does start with just regular, like, she's just taking pictures of her feet. Then she's in a martial arts outfit. I know, it escalates. Then she's squishing fruit. Now you're squishing live crickets going, okay, what won't I do? Right. And I'm sure you have boundaries at the beginning.

But when someone's offering you $500 to kill a cricket with your foot, you're like, why not? Tenland admitted to calling out sick in July 2025 for two days when she was denied vacation time so she could meet a man from Canada at a hotel room in Palm Beach Gardens to produce videos for her Feet Finder account. Anyway, she lost her job. She was getting really up there on the food chain. Yeah, she was moving nicely. And it's been a while since we've done Bet Your Fet on KROQ. So we decided let's meet someone on the phone right now who has a fetish of some sort.

Pixie, is that your name? Yes, that's Pixie. And you are going to share with us in a moment what your actual fetish is. We're going to gamble on it first. But you have an actual fetish. Yes. Okay, and it would be something. I don't think you'll be able to guess it.

You don't think we'll be able to guess it? Is it smashing live crickets with your feet? Because we already had that one. No, but I used to burn them. Oh, wow. You got some stories. Uh, let's, uh, let's give you this one and then we will, uh, come back in a moment and we'll get into a round of Bet Your Fet on KROQ.

We gamble on the news every day. Might as well gamble on your fetishes. Nowadays, everyone's got a fetish. Try to keep things exciting. It's time for us to Bet Your Fet. Bet your fet. Oh yeah. We're gonna guess your fetish.

What do you like your sex with? Bet your fet. Your fet. We're gonna guess your fetish. I bet you like grannies. On our phone right now is someone who is going by the name of Pixie. Pixie, good morning and welcome to Bet Your Fed on KROQ. Allie's going to rapid fire some questions in your general direction.

And then we're all going to go ahead and try to bet your fed. And please don't give it away yet, but this is a fetish you've had for a while. Yes. Okay. And is it dangerous? No. Okay. Whenever you're ready, Allie's going to rapid fire these and answer these quickly,

and then we will lock in our predictions as to what your fetish is. Okay, Pixie, what did you have for breakfast this morning? String cheese. What type of underwear do you have on? Lace. What is the age where you lost your virginity? Ooh, 14. What is your drink of choice?

Coke. Best holiday. Halloween. Name one thing currently in your fridge. Milk. Where are you right now? On my way to school. When is the last time you had an orgasm?

Months ago. And who on the show would you most like to sleep with? Vanessa. Nice answer. All right. All right. Let's see here. We learned a lot about Pixie.

I only like boys. Sorry, Pixie. I know. She's actually sad about it. I think Vanessa wishes she could bat for both teams. Right, Vanessa? Truth. All right.

Let's see here. She's not into it. She's just not. She's one of the straightest people ever. I feel like this woman is one of those ticklers. She likes being tickled or tickling. She's got that nice laugh right there. Yeah.

I don't know if she's into tickling, likes being tickled, likes tickling others, but I'm sensing tickling. I'm going to lock in. Don't answer until we all lock in. I'm going to lock in on tickling. Allie? Let's see. If she is into Vanessa... Well, no. She's into Vanessa. She's into all of the terrible

options that you gave her, which are all the rest of us. Vanessa was the least terrible of the options. So this is not a terrible option? No, she's not a terrible option. The rest of us are terrible options. That's why. So it's like the obvious option. Right. I think we're all saying Vanessa. She's also the only one on the show that looks like a child. Right.

Well, that's a good point. That's problematic. Yep, that's an issue right there. That's not going to be my guess. I'm going to guess that you like pretending to be a baby. Oh, she's one of those people who gets swaddled and stuff? Yeah, yeah, or she wears a diapie, and then she puts a little pacifier in her mouth and stuff and gets a bottle.

Okay, adult baby, that's Allie's guess. Omar, you learned a lot about Pixie a moment ago. What is her fetish? I think, you know, she's giving off sadomasochist vibes. Yeah. I'm going to say that she likes to do it with this show on, like, a podcast. Oh, man. That is disgusting.

That is gross. It's so painful. Yeah. I'm going to put this show on. The guy's like, great, just cut my ears off first. More nipple clamps? No, turn the show up. Turn the show louder.

They're about to do ADD News. All right. Jake, what's her fetish? She's into sniffing or licking pits. Licking pits or sniffing pits? You're hoping for that, huh? You're getting into it, aren't you? Let's go.

Are any of us exactly right as to what your fetish is? No. Were any of us close, even a little bit? Not even close. Oh. Come on. Come on. What is your fetish?

I like degrading men. I like to make them bark for me. Whoa. Bark like doggies? Yeah. You put collars on them? yeah like um i make them get on their the knees and bark is that like something you spring on them or like in the middle of uh the foreplay or do you let them know up up front like that's

going on because i think that would be weird if like all of a sudden things are kind of normalish and you're like all right time for you to get on all fours now and bark um i just i give them like little heads up and they still do it and like here's the leash get ready yeah we're going for a walk so then and then there have all of them been okay with it or is anyone like that's not my thing they've all been okay with it yeah that's not surprising let's go make me a doodle what am i a gold retriever let's go degrade a man a man so uh no one has said no I'm not going to get on all fours and bark for you. They've all said absolutely.

Yeah. Uh-huh. All right. There's more people who would like to meet Pixie. Of course. A lot of dogs texting in all of a sudden. 818 said, woof, woof, woof. 415, bark, bark.

We're getting a lot of people responding on the text line and barks now. 562, bring back bark for me. I volunteer as tribute. You must have loved that segment. So, Pixie, let me ask you, what does that do for you? That gets you, you get turned on watching a man bark on all fours? It's more like a music that makes me laugh. Makes you laugh.

So it's kind of like I was right with the tickling. Do you guys kind of feel like you are conquering him a little bit before you give it up? Most of the time I don't even give it up and they bark. Really? They get a treat at least? That's a power trip there. They get a treat at the end? Not even a treat.

Sometimes I'd be like, all right, I got to go now. What does that do for you right there? I don't know. It just makes me laugh. Yeah, yeah. Oh, great. Wonderful. All right.

Well, listen. Listen, if you find a pixie out and about, be ready to start barking. And you may or may not get lucky. Maybe. That's what I like about it. It's like, you know, if you really get on all fours and try, then maybe. Or I'll just walk away. Can I ask you a follow-up, like, without getting too graphic?

Are the guys fully dressed when they're barking, or are they, like, naked barking? Both. Both. Wow. Meow, meow, meow, meow. What do you think of that? 10-10. But I prefer a meow from you.

Uh-huh. Meow. Yeah. All right. Well, there you have it. I don't know why we haven't done Bet Your Fet in such a long time. We learned about all these things. I didn't even know that was a real-world thing.

I know that I've seen that, like, before in, you know, like... Yeah, like a gimp? Sort of, yeah, and peaches. Yeah, sometimes it's like an ongoing thing. It's like, this is my gimp, and I'm going to have him around me for like a couple of weeks. But these seem like one-night things, right, Pixie? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. 623 said you would never get me to get on all fours, and I think that's, I think everyone thinks that. Right, that's how it starts, is I would never do that, and then you're barking like a golden retriever. How many guys have you gotten to bark for you? Well, four or five, because that's all I... Five. You're a perfect five for five on getting guys to bark? Yeah.

They all started with, like, I'm not going to bark. I'm not a dog. But next thing you know, they're on their fourth barking. Would you rate who has the best bark on the show? Definitely. Go ahead, Jake. Jake's kind of like an aggressive feisty dog Omar would you like to bark for Pixie

or would your wife be unhappy about that I'll bark I liked that one Johnny shut up Johnny go ahead put that dog down Vanessa's got to give it to us

Out of 10. Hey, Vanessa, she's into you. Why don't you give her a bark? A growl. Come on. A meow. A grr-woof. Go ahead.

Grr-woof. Yeah, I wasn't prepared for a bark. Vanessa, come on. What would it be like if you studied for a bark? Do you need some time to prepare for this? I thought she wanted that geist to bark. Well, yeah, but she's into you. Go ahead, Klein, bark.

You ever made a woman bark for you, Pixie, or no? Yes. You have? Really? Oh, so she's into women barking, too. I'm afraid if I bark, Vanessa's going to throw me into a wall. Oh, that's so scary. What do you think of that?

Who had the best bark on the show? Omar. Yeah. There you go. All right, well, this has been a very interesting round of... It's because Omar's eating that dog food by mistake. Someone forced it. What is happening right now?

I don't know. all right pixie thank you for uh joining us for bet your fat uh that is uh i know why we don't do this often yeah yeah let's uh let's forget about this game again for another six months so we'll bring it back please you know there are certain places where i should not be allowed in public and that's the place public you just said it everywhere in public just public in general in public you should not be allowed uh erwan would be one of the stores where i just don't feel comfortable i don't think i should be allowed in there i don't know why you would even how do you how'd you end up there well i don't choose to go there it's not a place that i'm like

i gotta get me some air one it's like uh the next grocery store is 10 miles away i gotta get something really quick because i'm starving it there's a air one that's kind of close to me and if there's any if i'm like pressed for time it's like okay i'll just run in and grab something at air one but i don't buy it i don't buy it yeah that sounds not like you at all it seems the You're the type of person that would eat at a gas station. You would go to a gas station snack shop. And get boiled eggs at a gas station. Yeah, that's you.

You're a boiled eggs at a gas station person. The situation was my wife was getting her hair done in that plaza or whatever. I was picking up my kid, and we had to go home for dinner. I needed one extra ingredient for dinner, and it was easier to just go into the Erewhon and get that ingredient rather than go to a totally different grocery store. I'm shocked. For you, I'm just shocked.

And my kid had gotten, he was allowed to pick out a treat, and he wanted lemonade, and they have lemonade there. So I was like, all right. At the Erewhon? Well, that's what I thought, Omar. And they're like $20 lemonade there? So I go in, and he wants a cart, and then, of course, he is automatically taken by this beautiful produce display. Forget about the produce. How about the people?

Well, I mean, we were both curving out on the girls. Yeah, of course. They should have a special cart just to walk around looking at the people. Curve cart? but naturally there's no there's no space in the cart for anything you're not even allowed to put things in the cart just to keep yourself wheels spending anything just wheels i'm just pushing i'm just looking here i'm just perving and looking i'm just perving and looking well it was wild because i was there around dinner time like 5 5 30 and the line of people at the ready hot and ready

station like that's where they get their dinner it was it's just insane to me that people are like here's my daily trip to arowan to pick up dinner for the night so immediately my kid is Like, I want these strawberries, and they're $11 for a small thing of strawberries. That's the place that had the $20 one strawberry, right? Yes. Remember that when we tried in here? So that's actually a good deal. That's actually a good deal.

You got a whole bunch of them for $11 compared to the one for $20 we paid. That's true. If you compare it, there's always something more expensive. Right. But he just thinks he's at a regular grocery store. He's like, let's get this. Let's get this. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

We're here for broccoli. That's all we're here for. And lemonade. Boy, that must suck to be that kid. to hear your mom say we're here for broccoli and that's it is like the worst that's like that kid's 9-11 that's so sad so i'm like okay we'll get some strawberry we get a few things and then i go over to the beverage section which is an overwhelming section because they've got kombucha they've got cold brew coffee they've got this whole wall of all these beverages that are so colorful and

there's so many different varieties that i'm just i think it's overwhelming for somebody like me also everything's to like a regular ass grocery store everything in there has to be functional too so like you won't just find like a diet coke but you'll find like uh you know i'm like this lemonade has mushrooms right exactly everything i said so it's annoying because you're like i just wanted a bottle of water because i've had to go in there like to just get like a bottle of water quickly because i like i run in like and it's like and like this water has lion's mane and you know teardrops from a fairy where's the water yeah is there just water water and they're like well there's glacier i'm like no i forget it i'll just go just drink out of that drink out of the

tap in the bathroom like a normal person exactly so i asked i'd have to ask for help to locate regular lemonade so i this woman stops by and i'm like hey there's all this lemonade here i would like to know which one's lemonade and she was like oh well there's so many different ones what kind of um experience are you looking for experience and i'm like what i'm looking to shut a kid up i know this is for him he's four right whatever tastes the most like regular lemonade and she's like huh okay like no one's ever asked for that before figure it out and she goes well this one is a honey lavender lemonade oh so this is probably the closest thing that we have but i assure you it's delicious and i'm like okay and that is eight dollars for a small bottle

of lemonade so i'm like okay wesley here's your lemonade let's go to the checkout and by now i've spent $75 on five items, so now I'm a little angry that I've even gone into the Erewhon in the first place, and I should have just left. I can see you have such a pout on your face, because they try to be all friendly there, because I think it's a bunch

of people that are like-minded, and I can just see Allie walking through with a big scowl on her face, going like, I'm not happy I'm here, I'm not one of you. And all the hot Bieber families of the world. Yeah, all the hot people are sipping their smoothies, and Allie's walking through with her big sack of stanky broccoli. There was a thing of rice noodles, Klein, just a little thing of, and they were kelp noodles.

Why would I eat those in the first place? No one. I just, this little container, I flip it over, $25 for a thing of kelp noodles. Yeah, it's gotten to a point now where I think people like the ridiculousness of it all. They're like, this is ridiculous. Yeah, we gotta buy this. I gotta buy this for a video. So then I get to the register, and you know at Trader Joe's or most grocery stores, they go, do you need bags?

and you say no i've brought my own and they do this whole like oh good for you or something they do the opposite at erwan i had five items like i said and she goes do you need a bag and i'm thinking i don't want to pay 10 cents for the bag because i've already spent 75 on five so that's where you draw the line so i said no i don't need a bag and she looked at me with the biggest scalp you're paying 75 for five items a lemonade some strawberries broccoli nothing exciting kelp noodles whatever the hell you bought and then she says would you like a bag to carry this all and it's gonna cost you 10 cents and you said no bag you like that's it no and she looked at me like i was disgusting right so then she rings me up i leave and i am left with the balancing

act yeah jenga food jenga so i do the noodles on the bottom i start and then i i stack right with the strawberries on the top now as i'm leaving i give wesley his lemonade he takes one sip and he says he doesn't like it why would he it's got stupid lavender in it i have to drink it i don't even like lemonade lemon sugar water it's easy don't mess with it he says i walk out and the balancing is already off and this is at the entrance so as soon as i walk out the strawberries topple over in my stack hit the ground of course they hit the ground on the exact part that pops open and all the strawberries roll all over the place scattering amongst the people who are going into erwan all the gym bros and people of the world that are just there to spend money all the

people with those extra 10 cents for the bags and then wesley says it's okay they're still good i'm like you're damn right they are start picking them up and him and i proceed to pick up the strawberries in front of all the people that are walking to the Erewhon and putting them back into the container. We're having floorberries, kid. You know you love floorberries. But hot damn, they were good. And that broccoli was the best broccoli I've ever had

in my life. And then you realize that it's so fun to hate on that place for so many reasons. It's so good. But then every once in a while, and my wife, she'll go out of her way to try to go to one. I've yelled at her about it. And she'll try to sneak food on to, like, she'll try to find unhealthy stuff

and then, like, give it to me from there and then when I eat it she'll be like what'd you think and I'll be like it was okay she'll be like

Erwan you ate it and I'm like but I didn't love it and she's like what a horrible prank it's like the worst expensive food how much did this

prank cost you because you could've just bought regular pizza K-Rock we are Klein and Ali's show text line already pouring through with a lot of people

saying congratulations Klein you finally made it already proving that you are more successful than Ali's acting career because your jacket was featured on Saturday Night Live

I know there's so many messages about it this morning I saw Klein's jacket on SNL. Yeah, a lot of messages also on the GOAT line. Hello, I'm just calling to let you know that Jamie 100% wore Klein's jacket on SNL tonight. So congratulations, Klein. You made it to Saturday Night Live.

I don't know why I'm being congratulated for this because I once again... It's a huge honor. I think this is a big brag for you. You think this is where my career has peaked? that my jacket that I gave that I was peer pressured into giving Jamie from the Gorillaz wore it on SNL and now... Well, first of all, I don't think you were peer pressured

at all. You peer pressured yourself. Yeah. He just said, that's a cool jacket. Nobody in their right mind goes, here! And then takes it off and gives it to the person. Yeah, well, then there he is trying on the jacket and he loved it and then he said that he

would give me his jacket, but he couldn't because it wasn't really his. He borrowed it. So I don't even know. He's a serial jacket taker. This guy just borrows jackets. Then next thing you know, on SNL, Gorillaz performs over the weekend. And there's a- It's their first time on SNL.

Where is it? I start getting all these DMs. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Klein, I think that's your jacket. Is that your jacket, Klein, on SNL? Well, the screenshot that people had sent me was when they were all saying goodbye at the end. Jamie's on stage with the jacket on. Wearing the jacket.

Wearing the jacket. Rubbing it in my face. And you can tell by those giant tassels that it's definitely Klein's jacket. And then someone said to me, did you even watch the episode? I did not watch the episode, but apparently it definitely was my jacket, because... Live from New York, it's Saturday Night Live, with Colin Jost, Kenan Thompson, Klein's Jacket, musical guest... I can't believe they mentioned it in the intro.

Unbelievable. Klein's Jacket. Gorilla. Yeah. And your host, Ryan Gosling. That's right. It's a shot of my jacket right next to Ryan Gosling. And even the jacket looked ugly next to Gosling.

Yeah, I know. It's hard to look hot next to him. So congratulations, Gorillas. The saga of the jacket continues. It made its way all the way to 30 Rock. And by the way, I don't know if he was going to send. How long ago were Gorillas in here? It's been a few weeks, right?

Yeah, about two. Yeah, so the guy said after he took my jacket, I didn't hear this conversation, but apparently there was a conversation in the hall where he said, I like this jacket. Send that man something. He kept saying we should send him something. We've got to send him something.

He didn't say that. I was there and I heard that. Has anything arrived here? I think he was just inviting you to his show at the Palladium. No, no, no. No, because that never came through, that invite. But this is something that people who never pay for dinner say all the time.

You know, it's like, oh, I should do something. I'll get you back. Or he's saying to his assistants and they're like, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, and then he's never do it. Yeah, exactly. He just says it like we should do something and then nobody really does anything. I just want to make sure nothing arrived here that I'm unaware of that someone else, because sometimes people like to open up our mail, you know, and then we don't never see it.

That was a new jacket, by the way. I know you ordered a replacement. I couldn't find the same color, but I did end up getting the same pretty much jacket in the wrong size. Would you want it back if that guy was able to give it back to you? Yes. If we had to roll us back in, would you give him your other new jacket? I would like to propose a trade for the one I have, the black one. But I think he liked the other one because it was green.

Yeah, that one has a better color. And now it's got a whole story behind it because of, you know, this is the jacket he wore on SNL. It's crazy. It's a traveling jacket. You go on SNL, it's a big deal in anyone's world. And you probably spend a lot of time thinking about it. I mean, I would imagine they're stylists. Their whole job is to figure out what you're going to wear on SNL.

Especially if you're the musical guest. You only go on twice the whole show, plus at the end when you wave to everyone. Well, Jamie, I don't know if he was even on during the performances. I don't think he was. I think he was just there at the end. So he had one outfit to pick, and he picked my, of all the things, of all the clothing in the world, he picked my jacket. Yeah, exactly.

Look at me. There he is. That's what he said. Look at you. On national TV. It's incredible. So, yes, you could go ahead and pitch. I didn't know anything about that episode other than the fact that Klein's jacket was

the star of SNL, supposedly. Well, you know, if you ever make an appearance on SNL, you know what you're wearing. You've got to wear the jacket, man. I don't have it anymore. Well, we weren't planning on doing this today, but Allie has got that super pregnancy smelling brain. And I guess you learned yesterday, and this is probably the big announcement we'll start with before you start smelling each other to figure out who you think brought stank into the workplace today. Allie found out yesterday during, I guess, her routine pregnancy blood work. Yeah, I got another blood test because they did an initial one, but it was still pretty early.

So this was kind of the follow-up blood test where they kind of determine how fast my levels are rising because they want them to double every 48 hours. And that's the sign of a healthy pregnancy. And what did you find out yesterday that could change everything? So they called me and they said, the good news is that your levels are rising. They're rising quickly, which is great, which is a great sign. They're supposed to double every 48 to 72 hours. Yours are doubling every day. Yes, JV.

And they said, so they're very high. And I was like, well, what does that mean? And they said, well, we won't know until you come in for a base ultrasound when you're a little farther along. But we wanted to let you know that something that could happen was when the embryo was implanted, there is still a possibility of the egg splitting. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Wow. And then that would be an identical twin situation. Now, you would give one away, right, at that point? Oh, my God. I'd cancel the whole thing. Start over. Wait a minute. That's a good old cheapo thing, though.

It's like you get two for the price of one. I mean, yeah, but it's twice as much for many kids. What are you talking about, Johnny? She got one, and now she's getting two. This is not a money saver situation. It is so much more expensive. More than double, I think. So much.

And so much less sleep. Yes. So you could have, you're saying the embryo split. They didn't say that that's what happened. But it can happen. Because they don't know. But when you have twins, or you have more than one kid in there, yeah your hcg levels get way higher could they be um i forget the proper term these days i know it's

not uh siamese uh hold on let me think of the right one uh conjoined oh no oh cool i mean i guess it's not out of the question yeah i would splitting but i wonder you know if i that would be an instagram sensation right oh my god The money you'd make on that. You'd probably sell the rights to- Probably barely balance out the medical bills. Probably, yeah. It'd still be net loss, sure.

But I'm just thinking- Sometimes when that happens, they are able to kind of cut them in half. It depends on where they're connected. Yeah. They're connected at the head. I think it's too risky. If you do have twins, man, you're going to gain so much more weight than the first time. It's so much funnier.

I'm really trying not to gain weight. Wait a minute. I'm even meeting with a personal trainer today. Allie, let me get this straight. They said based on your numbers, your blood numbers, They think that you're heading down a path of twins? Did they say it could be more than that? They just said that my numbers are high and that it's doubling at a faster rate.

Could you be the new Octomom? Because she did a similar thing like you. That would be so unlikely that it would split that many times. I mean, that's crazy. But it sounds like more than one. It could be. Could they say more than one, less than 20? Like, what's the range they gave you?

They didn't give me a range. This is incredible news for all of us. I don't know until, I mean, if I go in for my ultrasound at six weeks and they have a couple of heartbeats, then I would know then. To our baby. Omar asked a good question, but would you be open to keeping one, giving one away to call her 20? Yeah, actually.

Okay. I'd be fine with that. That's a bad sign. But give me a couple weeks with them so that I would know which one's like the meh. Right. You've got to figure out, right, which one. All right, here we go. We didn't think this was going to happen, but Allie,

because of her super pregnancy now, potentially with more than one growing inside of her. Her smell has gotten so intense that immediately this morning during our pre-show meeting, that's right, we actually meet and talk about this dumb show, Allie says someone smells and they smell bad. It might not be a person, I don't know. And she is trying to, she's blindfolded now. My boobs are tingling.

I can't wait until you pick that blindfold over mine. You can't? Jake, your blindfold was a sweaty old... No, it was not. Like loincloth or something. It was a nice bandana. It would have thrown off the entire experiment because I would have only smelled your handkerchief.

Understand, before anyone loses this, we've all agreed that no one will go to HR and rat out Allie for this problem. Once again, she's the pregnant one, so technically that's a disability or something. So here we go. Thanks. No problem.

The first person is going to come in here. Just stand where you are. Stand by the mic so we can... Well, they'll walk over to you. Why is the other person... Why are you blindfolded, you idiot? Send him out of here. I wonder who that is.

Johnny came in wearing a blindfold too. What an idiot. What the hell? What an idiot. Reverse the order. Reverse the order. Mix up everyone in the halls. What is he?

How slow is he? He gets the reject, baby. Why did he come in wearing the blindfold? He walked in like he was playing pin the tail on the donkey. And then he silently walks out. And then he leaves. We don't have to wear blindfolds. It's just Allie does.

First person's in here. Take a smell of the first person. Don't look at him. Just sniff. And hold your thoughts to the end, Allie. They're here? They're standing near you. This is the first person.

Hold on. Allie's smelling the first person. No, this is nice. It's a nice smell. All right, Allie. You may go. Allie's nice smell. She sends him out.

First person's gone. I smell something just so slightly fruity about that one. The second person is coming in here. Definitely fruity. Take it. We're all getting a fruit smell. It was Johnny again, wasn't it? Hold on.

The second person is in here. Allie is sniffing co-worker number two. They're spinning in front of her. You can watch this. It's happening live on YouTube right now. Show everything that we say we're doing, we're actually doing. Allie, that person's gone now. Stop sniffing the air.

It's weird. Hold on. Well, I need them to come back. Person two, just stand there until Allie says what they need from you. Person two. Hold on. Allie's giving some sniffs. Okay, well, Vanessa, you may go.

Can you not laugh, Vanessa? Jesus Christ. You're ruining the whole thing. I mean, the first person, the next person is going to go over and get a smell from Allie. Hold on. The next person, take your blindfold off, idiot. Stop sending blindfolded people in. Hold on.

The next person is going to come over. And Allie, I want you to just say into the microphone exactly what you're... Can you turn your head towards me so you can get the... Well, I need to smell the person. No, I smell like a deodorant. That's a normal deodorant smell. Yeah, it's strong, like, guy deodorant. You can go.

I don't like the deodorant smell, but you can go. Send in the next person, please, for Allie to sniff right now. Like a pheromone attractor for other men. The next person has entered the room. Allie is going to give some sniffs now to this next person. She says there is a smell that is offending her today. It's coming off of someone she works with. Oh, that's Jake.

You can go, Jake. Back on must. God, go. Wait, so that was not the smell? You know what? It actually, come back here, unfortunately. Oh, no. No, Jake is being called back for second sniffs.

Why the blindfold so long? Yeah, hold on. She's giving Jake, but don't just spin around. It may not be coming from your pits, dude. It could be coming from your down slits, dude. Because you've got all sorts of stuff going on this morning. Yeah, it's still, it's Jake. Jake, take off your hat and let her smell it.

I'm being serious. The hat holds in a bunch of stank. Let her smell the inside of your hat. Oh, God. Get out of here. Get out of here. But those smells wouldn't linger, man. They're not that powerful.

I mean, they're powerful, but, because I remember when I took home a bag of Jake's clothes for Coachella and I kept it outside of my house Because it really was strong It stayed in my trunk Jake has just officially left the K-Rock Studios I need a palate cleanser Jake's leaving the K-Rock Studios

Where's my candle The crowd is back from the bar last night cheering Alright and send in I think there's only one more person for you to smell here I gotta cancel out the Jake Send in the last person to cancel out the Jake Can they give me Another worker is now standing here being smelled by Allie

Spinning around in front of her This is all the people that were in the pre-show meeting. This is it, I think. That's the smell. Oh, hold on. She's got a lot of sniffs going on. Hold on. She's going deep on the smell.

She's really getting in there. Yeah, there's something not good about this one. Really? I think maybe there's like a shower that needs to happen. Wow. Hold on. That's it. That's it.

Who is this? That's the person? Take off your blindfold. It is. What? Hold on a minute. Johnny, Postmaster Johnny. Johnny Stank, dude.

Johnny, what's going on with you? I don't know. I showered last night. Did you buy that jacket? No, but what about those clothes? Did you buy it at a thrift shop or something? This is actually brand new. My first time wearing it.

Oh, maybe someone returned it. It's a jacket. Yeah, dude. I think someone else bought it, stank it up, and returned it. It happened to a buddy of mine. He still has the nickname Stinky 10 years later because he bought a new shirt, but someone else wore it. Hold on.

Allie's giving you the real one. Yeah, it's a weird smell on that jacket. Some of those workout clothes have a chemical-y smell when you don't wash them first. Did you wash them first? Oh, Allie looks like she's about to vomit. Yeah, yeah. I can tell. That's the smell?

that's the smell you're getting it's johnny i think so wow johnny uh now so johnny you are the wow well there you go johnny get rid of that outfit immediately burn it hold on just found something else no johnny ali's sniffing everything now well i mean i still smell like half that and half jake but i think that that's what it is smelling half jake's a win for us he just got that at a thrift shop and didn't wash it that's what it is yeah he says he bought it new but it doesn't mean someone didn't wear it and return it yeah i got it new from uh nike i just unbagged it last night well i don't think that i think vanessa i'm smelling him too it smells like thrift smells like what thrift thrift thank you daddy thank you all right it

smells like thrift that's what i was smelling yeah and you said that too vanessa didn't you say thrift store smell yeah maybe because it was packed i don't know and it helped the smell yep there it is off the air you guys were giving me a bit of a hard time i i was a little too honest with my kid a lot of my weekends now sadly are spent with baseball uh stuff why sadly dude i don't understand why you're so bummed out you have to go see your kid play in sports and kind of try to excel and it's a lot of uh it's a lot of time it's it's multiple practices two hours a day and it's a game you know what it is though omar it's a lot of small talk it's a lot of small talk with parents it's hard no but you got kettlebell klein you know he's out there

during the practice doing his own workout his kettlebell i don't bring the kettlebell kind of weirdo are you people looked at me but i did tell my daughter because she said that baseball wasn't so much fun because her team wasn't very good and and they don't keep score because i don't know if it's a california weird thing or it's just they're too young to keep score but they they everyone knows the score and her team loses every game badly badly and i said to when she said to me um i'm kind of i don't like baseball so much my team's not good i probably should have said that's okay you know and i said yeah your team sucks oh but i said that you just said your team sucks just like that i said you're right i said you're right your team sucks but you

are very because she is good and she gets on base every time and she's always hitting and a lot of her team she's clearly not good because at that age one superstar player can change the outcome of the games all right well she's not shohei good yet okay but she's but but most of the kids so you're you're lifting her up by putting the rest of the team down i just said you're right your team sucks and that was the end of it but i said you're good and and sometimes you just gotta be the best you sometimes you gotta be the caitlyn clark so i didn't realize this but my wife told me yesterday um she goes just so you know sienna told all the kids on her team that her daddy said their team sucks and then we had to go an hour later this is bruiser and then so she told all

the kids that i said the team sucks and then i had to sit in the bleacher the little sad little bleachers shoulder to shoulder with all these other parents that all these little kids went and their parents said hey sienna's dad said we suck and i gotta be honest the team every parent knows the team sucks we watch them every week play other teams the parents are all a kettlebell guy said that? Yeah. I knew that guy was a douche when I saw him with his kettlebell. I said, uh... Yeah, they sucks. Alright, anyway, I'm gonna

be going. These parents are so delusional out of them because you gotta root for your kid. Regardless, even though, like, there's a kid that's never come close to hitting a ball. Not gonna hit a ball, can't hit a ball, not gonna happen ever. Don't they give you, like, a pay hit? They will keep pitching to you

until you finally hit, and they've actually stopped that rule after about 25 pitches to this kid, And they go, all right, let's just let him walk to first base. And every time the parent goes, you'll get him next time. And everyone goes, he's not going to get him next time. No one's going, yeah, he sucks. But I didn't say you suck because I get it.

They're kids and they're trying. Well, obviously you don't get it. I do get it, Allie. Well, you said no because everyone is looking at you while you're sitting in the bleachers knowing that you said that about their team. Yeah, well, I felt the need to almost say something publicly and be like, just so you know, I did say the team sucks. That is true.

That's a quote. but i meant that as an inspirational quote to say even if your team my kid in particular yeah that my kid's good even though all yours i wanted to clarify that all your kids suck and now she feels better about herself no what i was trying to say is listen there's been years the lakers suck there's been years the dodgers suck uh so you think that she's a grown-ass man dude i'm saying your team has been riddled with injuries it's not your fault the point i'm saying is that teams, even good teams, can suck from time to time. Now, her team, she'll never see these kids again.

A lot of them are going to go to the theater, if you know what I'm saying. But they're definitely not great. They're just going to be swinging and missing a lot. A lot of wrist swinging. But I'm telling you, it's not going to be the future for them. So you're saying your daughter's on the gay team? Well, it makes sense.

She's the best hitter, right? I can't believe it's finally here. It's time for the less off. Allie Johnson, actual lesbian Kevin Kline, fan of most things lesbian If you look at my browsing history I would say I've spent more time studying your culture than even you have You're just focused on one very specific part of it

You don't care about my actual lifestyle Oh god no, boring You tend to find that very disgusting So here to take us in to the Les Off Is the world's favorite lesbian At least she was at one point uh please welcome the return of ellen degeneres welcome to the 2026 les off i'm your host and everyone's favorite lesbian from 2010 and everyone's least favorite lesbian from 2020

ellen degeneres nice today i have five questions to determine who is a better lesbian ally an actual lesbian or klein a man who loves looking at lesbians just not ones that look like us right Allie that's right all right that's right so we will get to the quiz questions now I have a feeling I'm gonna have a huge problem with this quiz why because I don't think the questions are going to be fair how do you know anything about the questions Ellen is asking the questions and our job is just to answer them are there any questions about Liz Fair what is that it's a festival shot are you saying that this game is not going to be liz fair because it is going to be liz fair is that that's the point you're making ellen degeneres is going to take us through and

she will score it as we go and if you are going to already you're already seems like you're arguing that you're not going to win the less off because i don't think this is going to be set up for real lesbians at all this is just going to be it's going to it's it's just going to be a problem in a lot of ways. It's going to be easy. Ellen, whenever you're ready, please give us the first question in the Lez Off,

and you can place your bets. I think a lot of straight guys are chiming in on the text line saying that they also think that they would beat Allie in the Lez Off, but Ellen, it's your quiz, so we're just here to participate.

Now, let's Lez out. Question one. How many fingers does it take to satisfy four lesbians? That's a mess. Four lesbians? They're from Lesbians. All right.

It's another popular lesbian fair. That's a math question. How many fingers does it take to satisfy four lesbians? Are you writing your answer down? Yeah, we both get a chance to answer. Ellen, can you ask the question again? I missed it. How many fingers does it take to satisfy four lesbians?

She mispronounced it again. All right. All right. I think I have the answer. You want to go first or no? Well, the answer is three. because you need two to three for for each lesbian but it's the same two or three fingers or one fist oh that's interesting i don't think so lesbo hey oh man insert your opinion you're

supposed to be neutral i i have my answer is simple it's three fingers one kayak two rescue pitbulls and a long conversation about why this isn't what i thought it would be oh i gotta give a decline on this one. Oh, stop it. Hey, all right. All right, here we go. I'm up 1-0 in the Lez Off. What do you mean, here we go? What does that mean? This is what it's going to be. It's not going to be fair. You're just joining us on KROQ. It's

Pride Month. Ellen DeGeneres was nice enough to put this quiz together. It's the Lez Off. The figure out of Allie, the actual lesbian, is the best lesbian on the show. Question two. What is the most popular lesbian porn subcategory? Oh. Oh, and finally, my sweet spot. Okay, yeah, I know this one, too.

What is the most popular lesbian sub porn category all right ally would you like to go first you can go first on this one klein um all right well it's it's obvious uh this is where uh the neighbor goes over to visit her mom's friend's house her mom's uh friend is not there but her stepdaughter is visiting from college and they decide to go swimming because it's hotter than expected and that's when they realize they're having boy problems so they play with each other in the pool for a while before moving to the bedroom and that's when the mom's friend comes back and you find out they're not blood related so it's not weird so then she gets into the bed with them and they have a really good time that's

a lot to click on yeah what's the name of the video that's just one category that is the category there's big breasts and then yeah it's a couple everything you just said a bunch of variations of what i just described that happens in the bed okay i i just put big giant boobs Klein gets the point Yeah baby Big boobed lesbians come on Man Ellen knows what I'm talking about No she doesn't

Neighbors friends house hot day pool boom But they're not related Who's a good boy Stop it Ellen You have clicked on big boobed lesbians As a subcategory Not really that's not Wouldn't even enter my

I also had threesome on my list Guy watching I'm up 2-0. I don't think so, Lesbo. Okay, shut up. There's a reason she got canceled. I'm up 2-0 now. We shouldn't call names.

The judges shouldn't be calling names. She's not a judge. She's the host. Okay, whatever. She's deciding who gets the point. If you're keeping track, client S2, Ali has none in the Les-Off. Question three, Ellen, whenever you're ready. Question three, name as many models of Subarus as you can.

Oh, great, finally. Jesus Christ. i don't you're gonna get this point uh so is the impreza still a subaru i'm not gonna help you impreza uh okay is that all you can think of impreza and nissan that's not a subaru a nissan is not a subaru that's all i got okay i've got the forester the outback the ascent the impreza and then there's also a new uh forester electron electric Are we going to do the hybrids and electric ones? Point goes to Allie.

Thank God. Hey, Allie's on the board. All right. It's so funny if you get the points, they'll claim. That would have been amazing. Allie, are you sure? I said Nissan. He had to ask about the only answer he had.

I said Impreza and Nissan. You sure I don't get this one? It seems crazy. Another point for Sally. Okay, thank you. It's not my name. You bitch. Allie is her name, Ellen.

Jesus. All right. Well, the score currently is 2-1, with two questions left. It is the Lez Off now, and we go to your next question, if you're just joining us. I know this seems ridiculous, but this is important, and I don't think there's a better way to celebrate Pride Month than with this Lez Off. Question four. What is the best thing about being a lesbian?

Oh, that's easy. All right. All right, I've got my answer. Allie, what is your answer? You want to go first? Sure. Sharing clothes and makeup. I wrote double the wardrobe, but probably no makeup.

Oh. There is a little- Paul gets the point. Hey! Hey, yeah! We had the same answer. Nice. You said makeup.

I said no makeup. I don't think so, Lesbo. Listen to her. She's saying you- All right. Maybe you don't wear makeup, but I do, Ellen. You do? Yes.

I don't think so, Lesbo. I said this yesterday. Again, I'm wearing makeup. It's unnoticeable. Anyway, so here we go to this final question. I have to cover up my splotches somehow. Give her the point for that, Ellen. Come on, she does have splotches.

Ellen, come on. Another point for Sally. Thank you. Are we tied up now? I think somehow we're tied. Final question. It's the last off on KROQ. Question five.

Final question. Oh, my God. How is this bit still going? Okay. This segment is longer than my fall from grace. Anyways, how many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? Okay, this is just a joke. All right.

Easy, easy. Okay, why don't you go first? Um, let's see here. I've got, um. What was it going to be? Uh, none and two guys to make it happen because women don't know what they're doing. Oh, you're going to get the point. Is that your guess?

Yes. No. Is that what you wrote down? Uh, no. I wrote down, um, they don't have the right tools because it's just scissors. Oh, got it. So they just try and scissor the light bulb? That's right.

Okay. You went with scissor joke. Mm-hmm. What's the right answer? Just one, because every lesbian knows how to change a light bulb because we're handy and have a tool belt. I got to give it to Klein on that one. No, that's not true.

Yeah! All right. For the second time in a row, Ellen. You're a better lesbian. I'm a better lesbian. Thank you, Ellen, for joining us. No thank you to Ellen. I don't think so, Lesbo.

Go back to England. Ali, you tell me, you're a parent, Omar's a parent, Vanessa has no kids, completely single, Johnny is in a relationship. I don't think she's old enough yet. She is a kid. So, Vanessa, you can answer this as a child. Omar is a parent.

Allie is a parent. Would you say I handled this situation good or bad? Because I rolled some audio yesterday. I'm going to lock in on bad now. All right. You want to lock in bad early? Omar, you want to lock in early? Or you want to hear it out?

I'm going to hear it out. All right. This was my daughter who decided that she now knows that everything we ever told her about how babies are made was a lie. Like you say. Yeah. I think we said we made her out of clay at some point. Are you kidding me?

Made her out of clay? The amount of times you have messed with your children's heads. Well, I think we said that like years ago. Were there like storks? Did you ever tell her that story? No, I never told her about the storks. It seemed ridiculous. Tried to get more creative.

She was making something out of- We made her out of clay. It had a ritual. Made her out of clay. Are you sure that scene from Ghost where like- Yeah. Yeah. And that dude are all molding the clay?

That's how you make babies. Anyway, she obviously made a note of it in her mind and then wanted to confront me yesterday and say, not the case, I learned. So here we go. Puberty is when you, like, grow up. So at first she started saying that you can't make a baby unless you have puberty. And then I said, what is that?

And that's when I started rolling. Puberty is when you, like, grow up, get fat boobies. Puberty is when you grow up and get fat boobies. Oh, well, she's right. So she said that that's what puberty is. Hey, shake it, shake it. Now, I never was given the talk by my parents ever. I think that's one of the things

Allie and I have in common. Neither of us were ever given the actual talk by our parents. We just figured it out. No, you kind of just learn from your friends. I remember my dad had said to me when I went for like beach,

whatever the beach week was, senior year, he said, don't get anyone pregnant or it'll ruin your life. That was the kind of only conversation I had. Yeah, my dad was real bad too.

And I was like, yeah, it was not, you had a talk, Jake? Yeah, my dad, when I had like my first girlfriend, he saw us holding hands, he's like, hey, I got,

you got two heads. One you think with I didn't want to get you in a lot of trouble. That was it. That's all I said. That's a good talk as well. And Omar, you didn't get a talk, obviously, because your dad left you when you were two. So there was no talk.

Yeah, my mom did not care about me. So you had no... Okay, so no one here got a talk. Did anyone get a talk? Vanessa, did you get a talk? No, I didn't get a talk. Your mom wants you to get pregnant, right? No.

Now she does. No, no. I mean, she wants it. Yes, right now. But she never said, you need to get pregnant. No, no, no, but now she wants you to get married and have babies. I mean, she would like that, but she feels like I'm a lost cause. But guys, remember we had that psychic tell us that Vanessa's going to get pregnant by the end of the year?

Yeah, and then she came up with a new solution. She's like, maybe your brother's going to have another baby with another woman. It's you, it's you. You're in the clay studio. Johnny, did you ever get the talk, Johnny? No, I'm just raw dog in life, man. Okay, great. That's good advice.

So anyway, I have not given the talk, so I'm not going to give the talk, and this is so- Were you planning to give the talk? No. Have you and your wife talked? No. No, she just brought it up. You're a no-talk family. We're sitting at dinner.

We're a no-talk family. We're not a no-talk family, but it was not the time to have- We passed notes. The talk. In my mind, they're still too young for any sort of a talk, but this stupid internet- Well, wait a minute. She's nine. Nine.

When did I have sex? Because I learned it in class, too. Oh, listen, Allie. She's learning from friends now, and this has gotten out of control. I don't know where you're learning this stuff, But some of it is not accurate. And the clay is. Yeah, the clay is right.

Why don't we go back to the truth, all right? You were made by clay. We made garden gnomes and babies. All right, you were made by clay. They just have a bunch of, like, Play-Doh at their house. They're like, come on, man. They said, make me a brother. I just know.

Dad, I know, but you didn't make me out of clay. What do we do? You take your clothes off. So she's explaining now. You take your clothes off. She's explaining now how it works, okay? Which is a terrifying moment for a child to realize how you were made, and then to look at your parents and go, they did that to make me.

I don't think she's put that together yet. You take your clothes off with the guy, and then you roll around on the couch, and then you make a baby. That's it. That's true. Take your clothes off with a guy, roll around on the couch, boom, make a baby. If it was that easy, I'd be straight. At least she didn't talk about this

Gay agenda Allie's pushing Do you think she saw you guys? No not on the couch Why is she saying the couch? Because some friend's parents do it I don't know this is how she heard it She must have heard it from a friend How do you meet the B dude?

It's called sex Oh man dude I think she's holding back dude I think she knows about The head that gets you in trouble The B word yeah sort of unless you want to tell me more oh damn she is spicy um wait wait and also in high school do they show you a video of people doing that yes

what do you guys what are you doing i'm trying to have dinner a pleasant dinner with my goddamn We can put the phone down so I can hear him. I was trying to eat food. I mean, you're obviously uncomfortable. Well, of course. You think this noise is the noise of comfort hour? You're like finding distracting things to do. I would love for the crickets to play right now.

Listen to that. I mean, it's like. I mean, that's the sound of a. I'm done. Sounds like you just made a baby. I just made a baby. You're right. Experts in their field agreeing to join us so that we can have questions answered.

Things we've always wanted to know. We're about to say hi to someone who has spent. a lot of their life as a surgical nurse, operating rooms for north of 15 years. Every type of surgery they've been a part of or watched happen, real deal what goes on when the patients are under. Some of it's salacious. I mean, you know, we always ask questions like, I've got a lot of theories about it. You don't want to be the last surgery before lunch because everyone's probably just hungry and probably just decides, sew them up or not. Let's go. We got food waiting.

Well, this woman, I believe, volunteered herself for an AMA because she has heard us talk about medical things and says we have never once got it right right never once and that's crazy because we say a lot of stuff about things that happen so to be we've learned from google to be wrong every single time is incredible and she wants that to come to an end immediately this is the real life nurse jackie on k-rock right now good morning nurse jackie hi guys hi clean alleys and thank you for agreeing to come on with us to bestow some of your knowledge on to us so let's start with the obvious first question how often do you guys take that's not the obvious first question that is a question though but how long uh how often do you guys take selfies

with the person passed out on the table and pull up their robe to show their junk uh never we are uh uh legally well we'd be fired if we did that But if you all agree to it, it's like, ha ha, funny, funny. Honestly, I've never done that. I mean, you see one, we see them all day long, every part of every person. So not that big of a deal. We don't need to take selfies or anything with your junk. Now, when it comes to the operating table, you always hear these horror stories about,

you know, this person had surgical scissors left in their body and they didn't see it until later. How often does that actually happen, where you leave something inside of a patient? So when you leave something inside of a patient, it is a major surgical breakdown. So it happens probably about maybe in my experience. Don't say once a week. Don't say once a week. No, I was going to say once a year, maybe. Still a lot.

Still a lot, yeah. But that's, I mean, across all hospitals, all in all states. Oh, okay. I would just say once a year that happens. How often do people wake up? I think a lot of people's biggest fear is that whatever they're on, whatever they've been given, whether it's Twilight or Local or they got the gas or the propofol,

that at some point their body's going to be like, time for me to wake up. And then people have told these horror stories of waking up in the middle of surgery and not being able to speak to say, like, I see what's happening, but seeing themselves being surgeried on or whatever. Does that happen? No, I'm not a doctor. Very professional.

Does that happen often, Nurse Jackie? So, yeah, it can happen. That's just because you had a terrible anesthesiologist who didn't calculate your body weight correctly and how much you needed to stay under. So that does happen, and I've seen it happen, and I hate to see it happen. And I actually kind of yell at the anesthesiologist because that's their job to keep the patient asleep. No one wants to wake up during surgery. No one wants to have that feeling.

But that happens a lot? I wouldn't say a lot. Probably about, it just depends. So you have really, really, really good anesthesiologists, and then you have not-so-great ones. I didn't know there were so many not-so-great ones. I thought they were all great. Yeah, I think the not-so-great ones are the ones that got into it because they like the propofol themselves. So I've got to get me some propofol

Yeah we've had some I've known some instances where The anesthesiologists have gotten High on their own supply Oh man Yeah they're no longer with us In the sense of a job So when

They usually say after the surgery Everything went great Yeah okay there we go How often did it not really go so great They're just saying it went great Everyone says that right so uh yeah we we do a lot of the times we do say everything went great well a lot of times everything does go great now when things don't go great um we don't want to

get the patient too um stressed out so they have a another complication um when they're off of the anesthesia when they're then then the surgeon will let them know what really happened so they'll say everything went great regardless they'll look calm and then when the meds kick off they go you have 24 hours you know the whole great speech i gave uh forget it but just disregard you were all loopy for that here's the real thing okay so that is the first thing they always say do you ever um because this is what i would do if i had your job so you're there when the people wake up out of the anesthesia do you ever pretend that it's a long time into the future and they've been sleeping for years and, like, the Jets are good at football or something?

Did you ever do that fun game? I have done some funny things, but, no, I've never told someone they've been asleep for longer than they have. I did have a lady wake up. She went to sleep reciting her favorite barbecue recipe, and then when she woke up, she was at the exact same spot in her recipe. It was wild. And brown sugar. I bet I know what that surgery was.

yeah totally bypass yeah yeah big time um now what about the rumor that nurses usually know more about what's going on than the doctors do you believe that to be true a hundred percent so most of the time the nurses have more knowledge than the doctors in terms of let's say you want a recommendation for a surgeon yes ask a nurse they know a hundred percent more uh of who's better than who in terms of the actual surgical process um the nurses don't know better than the surgeon unless you're actually there uh assisting all the time right we don't actually know we know which surgeon has better outcomes than others but um yeah that's about as far as the nurses on the floor the nurses definitely know i think more what's going on with the patients than the

doctors great question from 714 in the text line how often do doctors slash nurses check their own personal phones during a surgery so yeah this is a problem oh my god another problem sorry uh surgeons have been have the nurse check their phones if they get an important call or or what qualifies as an important call um if if they are on call okay so it's work-related from the emergency yes work-related um nurses being on their phone during the surgery uh that's what i think is is a problem i don't think they should be on their phones sometimes they are um phones are like the dirtiest things on the planet so you got this entire room it's been sterilized you wash your hands for like 45 minutes and that giant sink and i have

my phone that's caked and fecal no no no one in the surgical field would use their phone they yeah the surgeons ask the nurses to check their messages which is annoying and i don't know what percentage of the surgeries you're a part of our uh elective versus uh medically necessary but when you look at the the results of what i have done which i was told will look normal in three to six months do you think i stand the chance my guy said quote it went great clearly if you see any pictures or watching this on youtube it didn't go great so do i have a chance of ever looking normal again or will I have to join the circus?

No, Klein. You will look handsome soon. She's a good liar. Yeah, you guys are good with this story. I think your surgeon maybe just went a little bit too far with the nostrils.

A little bit too much shaved off. Sadly, I had no choice. That was the only way I was getting air. The nostrils, there was a non-negotiable. It had to be made bigger. They had to open them up. They had to pry those things open. Next time, call me.

Call me. I'll give you a better recommendation. Allie has been trying to learn Espanol. It is her forced resolution to learn a new language. We said she could pick any language she wanted. We were hoping, well, we thought she was going to go Mandarin, which would have been hilarious for her to try to figure out. But she decided that as the whitest person on the show, by far, she wanted to learn some

Espanol now more than ever. Yeah, I'm just generations of generations of white, too. Right, the worst type of white. My grandmother used to say tortilla when she went to a Mexican restaurant and ordered things. And not to be funny or ironic or anything like that. That's just how she thought it was. Tortilla and fajita. She ordered fajitas?

Fajitas. She really loved the fajitas at Mexico Lindo, which is the place she went to every Tuesday. Ironically, Allie grew up to love fajitas, too. So it does run in the family. Subliminal messaging. It really had an impact on you. I guess I have to like fajitas now. So I decided yesterday.

I had to make a phone call to Spectrum, you know, my annual, can you lower my bill phone call. Is that where you threaten them? I get a little, yeah, aggressive sometimes. Like, oh, I'll take my business elsewhere. And last time they were like, okay. Yeah, it's great. There was a while where that worked, where even if they'd be like, hey, listen, I can get you $5 off your monthly bill, but only if you sign up for another three years. You're like, all right, that seems like a good deal.

I'm in. But then sometimes you're like, I'm out. They're like, all right, they'll be deactivating it tomorrow. I think now they can see that you have no other options. Yeah, they can look at your area. Because in my area, Spanktrum's the only option, and they're like, yeah, okay, come back. Like, what are you going to do? Right, so you decided to try to see if you've learned enough Spanish since January 1st to be able to...

To numero dos. Numero dos. So this is, as soon as I press numero dos, this is the beginning of the interaction. Si llama acerca de la cuenta asociada con el numero 408-9, marque uno. Oh, my God. Oh, Jesus. Oh, no. I finally talked to somebody after a while

That was a process to even get to a person This was my fourth time calling too Because they would just keep sending me back To other menus because I wasn't pressing the right numbers Or maybe they heard you and they're like She needs an English speaker I like how they said no to accent No, no. That's how you say no in Spanish.

No, no. So finally I talked to somebody. Hola, buenas. Gracias por llamar al Spectrum. Mi nombre es Claver de Tampa, Florida. By the way, this is terrifying. Like the fact that someone just picks up and starts talking to you in Spanish. I'm like, ah! Right. All of a sudden now it's a real test. That's what they always say. You can take textbook. You can try to learn.

I know you've been doing all, I've watched you for the last few weeks yelling at your computer and repeating phrases. But this is a whole different, this is a real life thing. Conversation. Hola. Hola, buenas. Hola, me llamo Allison Johnson, y yo quiero lower my bill. Oh, my God.

This is not good. I'm trying to hear it. You're not where you need to be. It's like... I didn't know how to say lower my bill. Well, you should have learned that phrase before you called. I know boleto because it's ticket,

and that's what I learned in my last Duolingo session, but I don't know how to say bill. If that's the reason you're calling, though. And then, of course, this guy is bilingual, so he immediately switches. No, he didn't immediately switch. He was humoring me. I heard he said okay just there.

Okay. Como te gusto, te vamos a asistir el día de hoy, Allison. ¿Cuál es el número de teléfono asociado en tu cuenta, Allison? Cuatro, cero, ocho, cuatro, cuatro, cuatro. No me sale una cuenta bajo ese número, Allison. Now, I don't think I gave him enough numbers. No, you didn't. And they're not the right numbers.

Lo siento. Muy mal. ¿Tú sabes el código de seguridad de la cuenta? Yo practico español. Dos números más. Ajá. Sí. He's saying I need two more numbers.

Two more numbers. No, we got that part. Yeah, we got that. And we're not even taking Spanish. Allie, you're two numbers short. No comprende. That's a pretty code for the account. Now he's being an idiot.

You dumbass. Oh, man, what a fail. Oh, ocho, siete. Dice que no, no es correcto. No, no, no. No, no, no. No es correcto. Okay.

Yo necesito hablar con mi hermana. No, mi mujer por el numero correcto. Okay. ¿Yo puedo enviar un mensaje de texto? Oui. Sí. Oui. Ay, Jesus.

Texto. There goes the French. I will texto. No. No, he's saying no. No. Because he was like, I guess he was saying he wanted me to, he wanted to send me a text message to verify my identity.

I thought he told me to text my wife. No siento. Maybe he said he was going to text your wife. Yeah, maybe. Todo. Es la numero de mi esposa Okay El no receive

Or she's not getting back to me Nice, well said So eventually we ended up calling it quits We just kind of realized that we weren't going to get it Somehow Ali's bill has gone up now Yeah 20 dollars Yo, I'll call back

Alright Yo practizo mucho Okay okay okay all right that was a uh fail hey i made progress progress was made but uh thank you lost so much progress for all the white people yeah i think white people have just been set back generations now we're right back to your grandma's fajitas again jake has been squawing like crazy, which I thought was maybe an annoying thing among all

the Seahawks fans, but a lot of other Seahawks fans are texting and saying that they are fans, but do not squawk. Yeah, I didn't realize because Jake does it so much. I assumed that all Seahawks fans did that, but yeah, on the text line, I'm a Seahawks fan and I don't squawk at all. I find it annoying. Jake's been squawing so much Omar was able to pull like 25 different Jake squaws over the last few weeks on the show, and that was his way of celebrating the Seahawks wins, and we decided Let's call a pet shop and see if they can identify what's wrong with our bird. And pretty much here's how it sounds.

Hello, it's Petra. How can I help you? My bird has been acting very strange lately. And I wasn't sure if you had any thoughts about what this is going on here. Okay. What are you doing? I don't know if you hear this kind of these noises. Noises like that before.

Do you have any alarm system or anything in your house? Not that I Not that I know of Squawk No alarm system No Maybe she's just I don't know

Expressing herself Squawk Is she outside the cage? Is she in the cage? We leave her in the cage Mostly occasionally We'll let her kind of Flap around the living room

Okay Squawk Is she in the cage right now? In the cage Squawk Um, I don't know a lot about birds, but I don't know if that's strange or not. Does she usually talk to you, or is she quiet? Quiet most of the time, and then about the last few weeks, it's been a lot of this.

Huh. What's going on? Nothing different happen in your house, like sounds or anything like that? Not that I know of. Squaw! Do you go to work? Yes. Is there anybody home all day with them?

Uh, no. Squaw! Sounds really mad. Squaw! What you can do is give a call back. Squaw! At like 3 o'clock, Kyle will be here. Squaw!

He might know what's going on. Okay. Call back for Kyle? Is he right beside you? Far away. Other side of the room. Where? Other side of the room.

What's going on? On the other side of the room, it sounds like she's on the phone with you. That's why I was calling. It seems crazy, right? Squaw! Squaw! Sounds like something's freaked her out. Squaw!

Now, what is she doing when she makes that noise? Is she flapping her wings? Yeah, the wings are flapping a little bit and looking at me and all shifty eyes. Squaw! Huh? What's your general thought? Squaw! Squaw!

I mean, the big bird. What kind of bird is she? We're not a rescue. It's a rescue, but what kind of bird is it? Like, what kind of parrot is it? Is it a macaw? Yeah. Is it a macaw?

Yeah. I would... I don't know. Birds are loud. That's loud. Have you tried talking to the bird? Can you try? Because she's not responding to me.

Well, she's just only like women, like... I'll put you on speaker. Go ahead. Hello, birdie. What's the matter? Squaw? What's the matter? Squaw.

What's the matter? Squaw. Are you a good birdie? Squaw. Are you a good birdie? Squaw. I don't know. Or maybe try some music.

Okay, what type? Nothing outrageous, like no, um, mellow, kind of. What do you think about Tool? I think the bird likes Tool. Tool? Let's go! You can try, I mean, you can try anything you get. Okay, well, thank you for your help. I'll call back when Kyle's there. All right, thank you, hon.

Squaw! Bye-bye. K-Rock, we are Klein Alley Show. Cereal, I believe, is one of the greatest inventions in the history of our world. It's wasted on the children, I feel like not enough adults are eating cereal. I'm all about normalizing cereal consumption by adults. I also think cereal is a great dessert.

I don't know why it has been just put there in the old breakfast category, which was part of the inspiration for BF Thursday, is that you can eat breakfast anytime. And Big Bowl cereal, great way to wrap up a meal, I think. Should be offered in more restaurants. Yeah, it should bookend the day. I agree. Start the day and finish the day with some cereal.

But, you know, we talked about how Allie got the joy of feeding her kid Lucky Charms for the first time and it tore the house apart. And there is something about that cereal. It's magically delicious, but also that's the magic in it that it will tear your family apart. There's the ta-da. I do have a half-full Lucky Charm box that has no marshmallows in it. Yeah. And that'll just sit and get stale in my cabinet for a while.

But this conversation on the air, of course, inspired the Bud Light Bros. And at the very least, if we can't put on a great radio show every day, we hope to inspire other people to take some of the dumb things we say and run with it. And the Bud Light Bros, I guess, released another one of their YouTube videos. They've broken down the best chain restaurant bars They've broken Omar I don't even remember They've done like the top five grilling foods

Rom-coms Yeah top five wrestlers of all time They did rom-coms? Yeah Did they really? They did one on rom-coms Pretty woman Allie's a pretty woman

Top five off-brand sodas Oh yeah off-brand sodas There's like a bunch of stuff they do And they're pretty consistent They release a video probably i'm gonna say on average every week and a half right and i know that uh you know they're not necessarily at mr beast levels just yet but uh they don't get there they're heading in that general direction and uh it all started right here it's funny because they host a lot of these

videos shirtless in their kitchen all of them all you can see is there's a klein alley show tattoos that they probably regretfully put on their necks and and torsos but regardless uh or sorry neck and where do you put his other oh that she's on his chest yeah so uh it's time now omar went through this how much how long was this one because i know you watched this one was about uh close to around 27 minutes almost 30 minutes yeah yeah so it was a lot of stuff to go through and um what they also do is that they put down about maybe i'm gonna say 10 to 15 beers while they're recording whoa really you counted i didn't count but i mean that's the vibe i mean they're they're constantly just popping cans it's crazy yeah they don't really they don't like sip

a beer like whenever just for them to sip a beer is to finish a beer so they like normal people would sip conversation continues they just finish it and then they open another one yeah it's remarkable so you think you think in one video in 27 minutes between the two of them they're drinking 10 beers oh no no each yeah totally they finish off with those cubes i think that's how they know the episode's over they finished off their cube and one of the strange i mean we got to ask them one of the strangest things that i always uh am bewildered by is that one of them is a can guy and then one of them is a bottle guy it's really bizarre yeah i don't know that's I imagine they probably got in a lot of fistfights over who drank whose beer.

Yeah, you're right. Maybe that's how they keep track. And rather than one of them change brands because they're so brand loyal, they're like, okay, you go bottle. Well, one of them's going to win in a fight, that's for sure. And the recycling is kind of mixed, you know. If you have all bottles, too heavy, low cans. But yeah, so last week we were talking about Lucky Charms, and they took umbrage to you

guys saying that Lucky Charms was the best. Yeah, me too. So they decided to lock down, you know, go through their top 10, and Lucky Charms didn't even make their list, you know. So that was pretty insane. The list is flawed. If they're coming up with 10 cereals and Lucky Charms is even on the list, your list is, sorry, Bud Light Bros, flawed.

Don't give me it is what it is. I'm not going to run down the entire list, but I'm going to play some highlights from their video. And before they started their countdown, they wanted to let everybody know that they're kind of like let down with the new recipes because, you know, back in the day, red dyeing number 40 and, you know, corn fructose was all the rage. and they don't like the way the new flavors of the cereals are.

Y'all sissified everything. That's what made food good back in the day. Exactly. And they'd be like, oh, it caused cancer. It caused, guess, new flesh. Everything causes cancer. Everything causes disease. And back in the day, that's what made children strong.

That's what made children resistant. That's why we so big right now. Yeah, we're so freaking jacked. we're fat food i was like jacked is an interesting term so they're pretty self-aware pretty funny i mean i do find their videos very entertaining hey omar this is early in the video before they're even that drunk right yeah this is this is probably minute three or something like that yeah yeah this is like minute three and uh another clip before they get into a little

countdown they're kind of just you know uh being a little bit nostalgic about when they used to eat cereal as a kid all we did was read the box so they had little like games and stuff and uh you know like a little the little thing where you grab a pen and you like find a pathway out of the oh maze yeah the maze words guys words i don't know You found a little pen. Yeah. That's amazing. He couldn't come up with the word maze.

Little pathway. Confused hallways that go to nowhere. So as the video goes on, they go through their list. Number 10 was Corn Pops, 9 Cocoa Krispies, and number 8 was Crave. At number 7, they have Oreo O's. and throughout the entire list, they have problems with each kind of cereal. That they're nominating?

Exactly, right. But it's not... This is their list. What do you think are problems with it? They have problems like this. Like, it was super crunchy and, like, I didn't like them because they would hurt the roof of my mouth.

And, like, at the end of it, I'd be like, God damn, my gums are bleeding. And I would say, he got a soft mouth. He got soft gums. Got a soft mouth Everyone knows

You got a soft mouth How do the Bud Light Bros Not household names At this point I don't know man It's insane There are Listen I agree with their point

Cereal seems unnecessarily Rough on the roof of the mouth Well that's why You have to mix it with the milk And let it sit for a minute But crunch berries I think are made with glass I think shards of glass

Are the secret ingredients In crunch berries Those are so good It's so worth it But they really Will rip up your mouth Dude the apple jacks King of that

Oh they were the sharpest Yeah, for sure. At number six, they ranked Reese's Puffs, which is a great cereal. But here's their issue with Reese's Puffs. The only thing I didn't like was the stupid jingle and the commercial because they had like what this one was doing. Some little bootleg ass little Bow Wow wannabe rapping like this little jingle and stuff. I'm like, I don't need you to rap this to try to sell me these tracks. You didn't like the jingle? No, Reese's Puffs, Reese's Puffs.

I'm looking for another R word but of course you can't use it nowadays everything been sissified but I was just like man this kid's ridiculous so that was their issue with nothing wrong with the cereal they don't like the commercial

it's interesting that they included all things in the ranking the power ranking of the top cereals And so far, I have to say- These are all very off-brand to me. Every single one of these is like- Obviously, they're saving probably the big ones for the top five of their list, but it seems like in that bottom five, not that any of those are bad. Crave made their top ten?

That's crazy. I don't even know what is Crave. I don't even think I've ever- I think it's full of like there's a chocolate in the middle or something. Yeah, I think you're right. Yeah. At number five- I've never had it, but I've seen it.

And Corn Pops? Yeah, Corn Pops. That was on their list? That was a crappy one. Yeah. At number five, they came in with Trix. Oh, I like Trix. I love Trix, yeah.

But here's their issue with Trix. The only thing I hated about Trix was the commercials. Where, you know, the little silly rabbit. I don't even know if he had a name or anything. Trix over keys. Yeah, I always, you know, I'd watch the commercials and I'd eat my Trix and I'd be like, hey, rabbit, come on, man, I'll give you a little fix. You know, it's like, I can go with alcoholic uncles.

and they would tell me on Sunday mornings like, hey, nephew, go to the fridge and get me a beer. I need my little fix, you know. So I could relate to... Here's a little cereal fiend. Yeah, I could relate to the rabbits. I could relate to the rabbits.

So the one thing you're upset about is the thing you can relate to? Well, the rabbits got an addiction and no one wants to help them with this addiction. And these guys are sitting there burping while they're trying to... I mean, it's just disgusting. So they're just mad that no one will help out the rabbit and share the cereal.

Omar, was that, because I haven't seen this yet, is that both of them burping or are they taking turns? Oh, no, that's both of them, dude, yeah. And like I said, man, it is nonstop. They finish one, they crack open another one. It's crazy to see, yeah, for sure. At number two, they rated Cinnamon Toast Crunch as their number two, and this is one of the Bud Light Bros describing Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

It was just cinnamon, sugar, those little whatever. Squares? Squares, yeah, squares. Words, guys. Oh, my God. You don't know shapes? I don't know shapes. I don't know sizes.

What's going on? My crones and ryes are all messed up. Oh, my God. What did he say? My what's messed up? I'm not sure exactly what he said. He was drunk. I don't know what's going on.

You can tell me. Crones and ryes are all messed up. Oh, crones. I don't know what he's saying. So it's funny that he, cinnamon toast, the word is supposed to be toast. Those are supposed to be the toast pieces. He couldn't come up with that.

They're little squares, Klein. This is their issue with Cinnamon Toast Crunch. And then they got rid of the little fat chef and then they just got the little carnivore. They created little monsters of the Cinnamon Toast Crunch and created cannibalism. What the hell is going on?

I said carnivores. Goddamn words. What? Cannibals. They get cannibal squares and eat each other. Oh, it's so good. you'll eat each other's like we're promoting candy exactly what kind of mystery you're sending children what's going on this guy's so drunk at the beginning you can kind of follow them a little

bit by the time they're now at their uh number two cereal they're so drunk at this point that they're talking all over each other they should just start at number one and see how far they can get yeah no kidding they should not do the backwards counting ali i know you got pulled over i think it was two weeks ago on your way to work yeah i still gotta deal with that and i um I also realize I'm not eligible for traffic school. Right, because you were going too fast. 30 miles per hour. But she was going 30 over the speed limit.

But you can still fight it, right? I was going 29 over the speed limit. Yes, I just don't know if I'm going to fight it in person because I have a hateable face or if I should pay somebody. A bunch of people were sending me services that'll be like F your ticket and fix your ticket and all those places.

So I'm still deciding. Yesterday I was making a very abrupt exit off of the 101 and I had a very interesting encounter with CHP when I got pulled over. Well why did you get pulled over? There's a couple of reasons and I'll tell you how this

That's not a reason. Did you have to crap? What's the real reason? The real, I was Sir I'm pulling you over for an abrupt exit It's a stupid reason why I got pulled over. I'll tell you what the guy said why I got pulled over but the real

reason I got pulled over is because i realized as i was passing the exit i needed to be taking that i kind of missed my exit oh i see and then i did a very what i guess last minute last minute maneuver cut over four yeah it makes you feel like a nascar driver you're like whoa yeah four and um and then uh the guy not only put the sirens on but you know in in the moment of me like exiting to then realize i was the one getting pulled over which is a weird feeling and not great he also felt the need to pull out the megaphone of shame which is like i didn't even have a moment to even start the ball you you let's go get it all like it starts that that thing as well and i that's scary it's so loud but like if

you're gonna get pulled over you owe it to other people on the road to wait to wait till you can pull over to a place where you're going to be less of an inconvenience to everyone else i wasn't going to pull over right away and block the exit ramp so i wanted to do the full exit ramp and then drive so you got off you got off the freeway you were going to wait to make like a turn yes yeah that's just called being a decent human yeah you got to pull over wherever that dude tells you to pull over no he was wrong those are the rules he was wrong great start he was he's wrong i would have messed up that whole exit for uh hundreds of people you know this guy might have let you off with a warning or something if he had like another call to go to he was just gonna you

know make sure you're not under the influence or something well yeah but you decided to you know be oh i'm gonna pull over here i wait i went down the whole exit ramp he kept saying pull it over Turn it off And I kept going I kind of did a wave Out the window Like I hear ya But I'm gonna keep

Going till I get to a good And then I turn Like a beauty pageant We kind of crossed Four lanes of traffic Yeah well Then the guy Then I pull over

And he gives the whole He still yells on the thing You know Turn the car off Hands on the wheel Whoa I should point out In the back seat

I have my daughter Two Both my daughters And one of their friends Three girls in the back seat Nice On our way to a baseball Nice

Feeling good On our way to Tell him that One of my kids' baseball games that we're running late to already. Is everyone properly- Seat belted? Yes. Okay.

They're all seat belted. But yeah, I'm not an idiot. I mean- Well, I mean, sometimes like one of them is not in a car seat or whatever. You're not an idiot. You had children in the car and you just cut across four lanes on the highway. Yeah, but that's something I do regularly. I never-

Oh, man. Yeah, I'm good at that. It's funny when you get pulled over and you're like, what should I say? And then you're like, the things that you're saying to yourself, you're like, this just sounds- I turn back to the kids and I go, and they go, what's going on? They're kind of freaking out because for all of them, it's the first time ever being pulled over. And I said, just be cool.

That's what I said to the kids. That's good advice. That's good advice. Which is, I don't even, they're like, what does that mean? What does that mean? Just be cool. And I'm like, and I realized. I would say just don't speak.

Yeah. Don't speak at all. Yeah. So, of course, the guy comes up and he's like, you know. Because kids want to be right. And if you're going to lie to the cop, they're going to be the first to say, no, that's not what happened. And you have that one daughter who's kind of intimidating. Yeah, right.

I don't want her to get pulled out of the car, beaten by the cop. So I say, hey, just be cool. And they're like, what? And I'm like, just, I'll handle this. Daddy will handle this. So the guy comes up. Do you know why I pulled you over? First he goes, where are you headed?

And I said, I'm on a world tour. I thought it would be funny because of the Justin Timberlake video. Oh, man. He goes, excuse me, what? And I go, world tour. Oh, you doubled down? You didn't explain it? I said, I can't really explain what that is.

Don't be stealing my crickets, dude. You're betting on so many things. You're betting on that guy knowing the story, following the update of the story, and watching the video of the story to know that reference. Yeah, why would he not? If you're pulling people over all day and you get a big story like Justin Timberlake. You don't have 18 minutes to sit and watch Justin Timberlake's DUI video. So as I'm saying this, my kid in the back goes, Daddy, you're lying. We're going to my baseball game.

So already now. You're getting called out. Paints me as a liar to the guy. Guy says, pulled you over because you have expired plates, is what the guy supposedly said to me. Oh, that's easy to talk your way out of. And I said, yeah, I know. You have paper plates? No, I have my old plates from my old car that I put on the new car that don't really go with the new car.

Cool. What? That's like super illegal. Yeah, he told me this. Because you don't want to have to. How is he able to tell? he says he says can i get your license and i said i don't have oh no oh dude and he goes can i get your insurance and i go a registration paper registration or insurance and i go i don't have

any of those so you had nothing that he asked you for nothing wait don't you but most people have insurance on their phone i was able i was able to find at some point after he kind of did the whole thing where he's like let me why don't you sit here for a little bit i'm gonna walk back and figure out if this is even your car and i'm like it is my car and he goes well i can't find anything that shows this is your car and i have nothing to show him i have nothing you could have kidnapped all those three girls and stolen the car right i mean this is what the guy it went from being kind of a friendly interaction to like all of a sudden i realize as i'm talking everything i'm saying you're a suspect makes me more suspicious and maybe you saw the cop and you're

Like, ah, I better get off the freeway before he knows I kidnapped these girls. And I think he thought that I made like an aggressive move to evade him. And as a result, so he starts going back and doing the typing thing. And that's an annoying part because you're sitting in the car. By the way, very hot day in the valley. Car's got to be off, so there's no AC now. Car's off, so I'm starting to cook in there. And the guy, and I don't want to, you know, do that move where you go take the hands off the wheel.

And the guy comes up and he, you know, guns out. Meanwhile, kid's in the car and they're going, dad, we're going to be late to the baseball game. We're already late to the game. I didn't want to tell him this. I was like, we were already- That was never a thing. Yeah, we were going to be late already. If we had not gotten pulled over, we were still going to be late.

So don't worry. And then he comes back and he goes, couple of problems here. I don't show that this car even has active registration. What? You don't have your registration at all? He goes, I'm not showing anything about it. And I don't have a license from you. I said, I have a picture of a license.

You don't know. I mean, he can look up your driver's license. can't you explain like officer this is prehistoric why am i handing you pieces of paper right why am i handing you a physical id card i have everything in a digital form for you i i say these things he's annoyed by it because he goes you know the rules are you're supposed to drive with a license oh yeah i'm well aware sir well aware by the way the amount of times that i drive with a license are like one in a hundred i happened to get pulled over when i had it because we were going to the airport does anyone have their license on them right now if you're sitting around listening

this story driving me well jake you're always one thousand percent of the time carry it oh great you guys are better than me good for you yeah it must be nice okay so i say uh you're not above the law what's wrong with you guys i just figure if i get pulled over there that's it number one i don't get pulled over very often and number two i have evidence of my license somewhere yeah photoshop's not a thing guy claims to me that there's some issues with the car that i'm driving he's like is this your car i said yes did you buy it used uh no i leased it okay because i don't show any connection to you from you and this car i go what he goes there's no connection i go how is that possible huh he goes i don't know but it's coming up as no connection so here's what i should be

doing right now what i should be doing is towing this car right now amazing amazing and uh and then i hear the kids are like in the back going like are you serious are you serious so they're going nuts and he's like i should be towing the car right now and there's a pretty substantial fine because you're driving in a unregistered car and you don't have active registration and you don't have a license on you and then he didn't even go into a whole tinting and the world tour joke and the joke bad joke too the biggest violation so uh he goes let me go back and see if i can do anything comes back again and i see now he's got the printed out thing so i go man so so you have a ticket i'm not gonna get a warning i was thinking at some point maybe you can overlook

these six seven things i mean at one point did you think he was just gonna let you off by like the fifth or sixth thing he brought up i realized like this is not gonna be one of those it's a lot of warnings celebrity feuds people love them they're headline grabbing and uh but the problem is usually celebrity versus celebrity but what about regular people like us that had an encounter with a celebrity they didn't go according to plan and as a result we've held this feud omar's been go on his whole life carrying this baggage around with him this hate he had against howie mandel so we tracked down how we got him on the show and they hashed it out kind of we think they're going to do lunch at least they got to talk about it one of one of my celebrity feuds as you know

ali i keep a list of people that have done me wrong was a jay peterman uh from uh vanessa's favorite show seinfeld john o'hurley who i liked always liked the guy and then i actually paid for him to do a cameo message for my parents for their anniversary and spent it was like a couple hundred dollars and i wrote a whole bunch of information about my parents and thought he would do a whole thing and this is what he gave me hello all jay peterman here i wish you the happiest of anniversaries that's it hello and he cashed in like 300 and i spent a long time figuring out what yeah you only get to give so much information so i was you couldn't even say their names no no he just said hello all yeah i mean i got i got better money from that fake

spider-man guy is he also on your enemy list the fake spider-man no he was he did the best he could do hello all jay peterman here i wish you the happiest of anniversaries i mean that was cost me i think three hundred dollars or something like that yeah that's cool that's wild jake has a celebrity feud i didn't even know about this you know that jake's uh currently feuding he believes on his enemy list is uh kirsten dunst oh yeah she i met her at the burbeck airport when we're leaving for, like, a holiday vacation. What'd she say? Get away, sneaky?

Yeah, I was pissed off. I don't have any change. I'm sorry. I said, give me your change, lady. Now, listen to this. By the way, we're all going to be on her side, just in case you're wondering. No, we're on the same flight to Austin,

and so we're waiting in line to get on the plane. I asked her if she'd take a picture with my dog, and she said no. Wow! Good for her. She is my hero. Yeah, good for her. Did she say no in a nice way?

Sort of, I guess. She said, like, not now. He's like, no, no, I don't take pictures when I'm with my family. Right. I don't take pictures when I'm with my family. That's a great thing to say. Whatever, you're on Southwest. Take a picture.

No, Jake. You know, actually, Jake does have a point. Jake, you know what? I'm back on your side. This was the cameo Spider-Man I went with that was supposed to wish our family's friend's kid a speedy recovery from a surgery. And this is what we got instead. Hey, kid, it's me, Spider-Man. I hear you are sick.

Get better. I've got to go fly somewhere. That cost me money, too. Better than Peterman's. You just feud with your own idiotic brain. Let's find out who's feuding with who now on the phones. We've got to pick one of these and actually get to the bottom of it. We will connect you with your celebrity.

We'll figure it out. Juan, we'll start with you. Who is your celebrity feud against and why? Sweet Dibbits. Sweet Dibbits. My celebrity feud is with Lindsay Lohan. Oh, great. Okay.

Yeah, back when I was working mortuary pickup, we ended up at the L.A. coroner's office this when she was doing the community service i pull up i went through my routine next thing you know the sheriffs are taking my phone saying that i took a picture of her so they went through all my pictures called my boss i almost got fired and they told me for pictures on tmz that i was gonna get fired and arrested did you take a picture of her no i didn't even know where she was that's so funny when a celebrity a celebrity thinks like oh this person's taking a picture the guy probably just had his phone out doing whatever else you're probably texting your side piece or something yeah he's taking pictures of me i know it and because she's

all pain maybe she was still on drugs at that point she was all paranoid this was when she was doing community service it's funny uh do you still have connections to the morgue or the mortuary because ali and i have to do a day job at a mortuary coming up do you have any few any people you know there i can find out if he's still around all right hold on one second years ago so they so they accused you of trying to take pictures of lindsey lohan while she was doing community service then selling them to tmz they went through your phone you almost got fired and just and did you have any words or any face-to-face encounter with lindsey lohan no nothing she just smiled at my van and then that was it all they did pull out my phone we text my manager hey i'm here

I'm at the location, and that's it. You know, what's interesting is if we are able to get Lindsay Lohan to come in here and meet this guy, she'll have no idea this happened. No, absolutely not. And yet this guy probably spends every day. Yeah, and Lindsay Lohan's a person who's changed her life a lot in the last 10, 15 years. Juan, how much of your day do you spend yelling at the sky and going, damn you, Lindsay Lohan? Curse you.

Oh, every day my kids like The Parent Trap. I can't even watch that no more. Okay. I can't take pictures of either of them That's so funny that he's got this one-sided grudge against her But his kids happen to love the parent trap Alright, moving on That's one celebrity feud

We have to pick the one we want to really battle, Allie Because we're going to put all of our efforts and resources Into getting one of these celebrities I feel like Lindsay Lohan is doable uh yeah i would agree chris you're on k-rock who's your celebrity feud against hey uh my uh celebrity feud is against rick deez okay radio superstar rick deez what did he do to you when i was little me and my family had gone to magic mountain and they were promoting the new batman ride and they had the batmobile and k uh kiss fm was there and rick dees was handing out

free merch and it was like limited edition and he gave me this giant cup with a t-shirt in it and i was so so excited as a child and then this girl with daisy dukes and like a tight white t-shirt was next to me and she was like screaming and he rips it out of my hand and gives it to her Good call. Great call, Rick. I mean, come on. And that was back then when a great radio prize was a giant cup with a T-shirt in it. Yeah, Rick Double D's.

But he gave it to this kid, and the kid was excited. Greatest moment of his life. Then Rick D's, he's a much hotter person and takes it out of your hand. So you still remember the moment that Rick D's ripped your prize out of your hands and gave it to a beautiful woman? Yes. Wow. And now you've hated him ever since. From that day on

I stopped listening to Kiss And I started listening To different stations And I found K-Rock Wow You came to us Because Rick Dees Did you wrong

You know what's interesting About all this Is that if we're able to I don't think it would be hard To track down Rick Dees But Didn't you like run into him Not that long ago

I randomly had a run in With Rick Dees But I think it would be so funny If we were able to Recreate this And we actually give a Get a very hot person in here With an even bigger cup

Yeah Rick would do The same thing Yeah he would And Rick would rip it out of the hot persons and give it to this guy to bring it full circle. That's funny that this guy's been carrying that around with him, this hatred of Rick D's for this many years. Well, when you're a kid, that experience of getting something free like that, that you were chosen, that's something, you know, for this core memory. Hey, Omar, not our Omar, this Omar on the phone, who are you feuding with? What celebrity?

Hey, yeah, my celebrity feud is with Seth MacFarlane. Family guy, creator, Seth MacFarlane. What happened? yep all right so i used to work at the valet at the beverly center and they had opened the fancy restaurant and like he came in one day and it was already way past closing time i want to say maybe like an hour hour and a half and everybody had gone home and this guy was still in there making us wait for his car and stuff and then we finally came out he got in his car he didn't even talked to us he didn't even tip us he just left so seth mcfarland forced you to stay at your valet

job hours after it should have ended and did not even tip didn't even tip man i find that hard to believe yeah when was this it was like 2018 around there it was like a new restaurant i just thought yeah and he so you were working valet and even though the restaurant was closed everyone had gone home he made you got he made you wait well i don't think he even like knew that like people are waiting on him for his car to like you know be given to him he just like came out way later after the restaurant had closed with his people they're all pretty buzzed this is the best part about this it sounds like he's having a great night excuse me where's my car yeah you know because i was like all right that's worth it we do track down and then he does brian he does like

Which one of these celebrities so far would be the most shocked by this fact that there's a random person walking around with this grudge against them that they have no idea about? I mean, that's the part that's great about all of these. None of these. In this case, he really had no idea he did anything wrong. I mean, not tipping. I think he should know better, but he probably didn't know that it was too late. He knew none of it. He's in this bubble.