Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - FULL SHOW 7-8!!!

Episode Date: July 8, 2026

In today's show Klein gives his kids the talk about drugs, we decide if Ally's friend is cheating and Jake freaks out over a shirt

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Alley is in a bit of a situation, as you always are, but this has to happen. This conversation has to happen now because she doesn't want certain people to hear the conversation.

Yeah, I've already got in trouble for some other things that I've said on the air recently. Do us a favor. If you're listening to this right now, don't repeat this. Don't narc. Don't narc on Alley because we do share an awful lot about our personal lives on the show, hoping that it never gets back to the people that we're discussing. Yeah, and then sometimes those people go, I heard you talked about this and you said this happened, and I go, ah, I was just lying. You know, show stuff.

It's for the show. Between you and me, you know, It's not. we are telling you everything that we are not supposed to talk about. And occasionally, even when our significant others say, please don't mention this on your stupid show, we go, the first thing we think is,

this will be great on the stupid show. I know, and it's nice getting new friends that have no idea that they have to say, don't talk about this on the air before they tell me something. Man, as soon as someone says that to me, the first thing I think about is, This is going to go right on the radio.

So I have a friend who's had a boyfriend for a long time. They have a kid together. They live together. They're not married, but they've been talking about it. Now, a bachelorette party happened. So my friend flew to Vegas, went to a bachelorette party for our friends. They all went there. They partied.

Found out that at the bachelorette party, she met a guy bar hopping. They hit it off, got along, and then made out. did not have sex but made out some other well made out is like a very vague hardcore made out i think it was starting involved actually i didn't ask that follow-up omar i don't know i think there was feeling happening but it was starting to go to another base and then it got cut off like another bachelorette party attendee was like whoa whoa whoa whoa this was you have a boyfriend making out in a public place like at a club yeah in front of people in front of people not in a private hotel room? No.

What is the level of drunkness? I think very. Very intoxicated. Very intoxicated. Vegas, bachelorette party. But had his... Everyone's got the sash. It's a whole vibe. Penis straw, sash, the whole thing. Totally. Walking through, someone's got a half of

a heel off. It's one of those weekends, right? And so now... I think Johnny's in Vegas right now with a penis straw for the No Doubt thing. Just because he thinks it's fun. Yeah, yeah. He just likes the penis straw. Look at this straw! It looks like a penis! Reminds me of my hiring process. That's right.

So now another friend is upset about this. Why? And thinks that we should tell the boyfriend. And I don't think. We should tell. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, and we don't want to be involved at all, especially because this is just a Vegas weekend.

It's not like she is cheating necessarily. It's just I saw a guy in Vegas. We are drunk and making out. and that was a cheating instance though is it but was it but if your memory is blurry you're drunk right that's not that's just an excuse it's making out which is so harmless i mean you know i i really do think like like for me you know i would be able to get over it quickly but it all depends on the boyfriend i mean i wouldn't interject here at all if i was a friend yeah oh yeah we were friends with her first not the boyfriend what's more interesting about this is that omar and i

I think consider this to be cheating a violation but you it is a violation but you and Vanessa are both going ah this is just

a Vegas this is just a Vegas this is just Vegas bachelorette party what if the tables were turned the energy of the party like you're like

woo shot shot oh my god what if the tables were turned Vanessa I want to kiss you if you had a boyfriend you know a sexy chef and he goes to Vegas

and makes out full on would you be upset I don't know I haven't had a boyfriend that was so desperate I honestly, I think I need to know, okay, well, how drunk were you? What was the energy? And I'd be like, you know what?

You were having a good time. Ali, do you think there was any sort of permissions granted, for instance? No, uh-uh. You don't think so? No, this boyfriend would be very upset. He would be. There was no like, hey, have fun. Did they have a child together, you said?

They have a child together. Damn. And they're even starting to try for another child. Whoa. But he is one of those guys that's very black and white. It's not, there's no gray area with him. I don't think that he would understand. I don't think he he's even been sensitive about her relationship history

because you know we've made jokes about her being with a lot of different people and I'm sure he loves that she's a real whore bag but you know just settled on you yeah he doesn't like any of that stuff so if she was whoring in Vegas I don't think he would like it well look I I know for a a uh I know a situation where a similar thing happened girl but this was different she was the bride to be and she went on a bachelorette party right and she i believe fully you know had a full cheating experience with someone she met in vegas and the uh the maids of honor all got together and told whoa and told the guy the guy and the wedding got called off whoa and they broke up and it was yeah and i think she lost a lot of friends in the process and they decided that it

was their place to tell to tell him and other people go well you know i thought that was the whole idea of the bachelorette uh bachelor party you get whatever that conversation needs to be had before the bachelor party and that's the thing i always think the cheating is much less the cheating sucks but i think it's much less of a situation than the dishonesty or the hiding of stuff that's the part that i think really is what is a breakdown yeah she doesn't want him to ever Also, the degree, you know, that was full-on sex, not just making out. But the thing that, for me, is that it probably would have gone farther. Oh, because it got stopped.

She got stopped. Yeah, but you can't get mad about hypotheticals. They're not going to have sex in public. They would have gone somewhere. There's rooms everywhere. Right. But I actually think that the, this is going to sound crazy, but I actually think the making out part is almost more aggressive than it had been just like no making out and just

sex. No way. no no no that's cheating I think it's one and the same cheating is cheating no way

it's interesting too to me there's like no degree but again I'm the type of person that I would say okay I understand it was a fleeting moment

and it just happened I would be able to get over it I'm not going to throw my entire relationship away exactly because of this thing and then it's

what's truly ironic is Katie and I were talking about this last night and she was like I don't really think it's cheating and I was like

I kind of don't either and she's going to Vegas this weekend Maybe I should have said, I do think she's cheating. This whole thing was just her just trying to gauge what you will allow her to do in Vegas. Hey, Casey, good morning. You're on KRO. What's up?

Good morning. First of all, I love your show. You're awesome. Thank you. I agree with Omar. It's cheating, like for sure. She kissed another guy. She has a child with this man, and she's making out.

Maybe she needed attention, whatever it is, but she's the one that should tell. i don't think the friends need to get involved yeah but if she doesn't but i guess if she doesn't if she doesn't want to tell and she doesn't want to tell because he would not be like that would probably end their relationship you think he would bet you think he would be out yeah he would either be fully out or he'd be out for a long period of time before he came back around uh yeah well in case that's a female perspective so it's definitely cheating wow i'm surprised but a lot of people on the text line agree with her that it's completely 100 cheating yeah well if there's any kissing involved it's cheating it does no matter the scenario and this is where you start

going do do where it happened matter do the degrees of what happened matter i think it 100 matters the fact that you were at a bachelor party bachelorette party in vegas i think that that's just more cliche but i don't think that means that that gives you any more like yes i agree you hear that as the the reason why i thought she met a guy at a whole foods in west hollywood and ended up, well, I guess a guy wouldn't meet a girl there. That's Hollywood Whole Foods, but a guy would meet a guy there. But you know what I'm saying, Allie, hypothetically, right? But the point is, anyway, people are very fired up about this.

We're about to get the big results of the tea test. Who's got the best test on the show? You've heard a lot of talk about all things testosterone. Allie started taking the tea. Because it was recommended by a listener. She got so horny. We were talking about this on the air. My sex life was great.

said they went to some place in Encino called Evolve. I didn't even get into this yesterday, but apparently because of our talk about Evolve, and Mike is in here, he's the founder, someone reached out to you, and then you ended up actually saving someone's life. And I bring this up now because in the last 24 hours, we've now saved a dog's life,

and we've done a few other things. But explain quickly before we get to the results of the big tea test. And you do have the results, and there is a definite winner, you've said, right? Correct. Someone definitely has the best tea on the show. Yeah. And it could be a guy, it could be a girl.

He's figured out how to do this, and we'll explain all that. How did we end up saving someone's life? Because this is a crazy story So I want to respect the caller's identity as much as possible I'm not going to say if it's a man or a woman This person heard Whatever happened on the radio She came in for a consultation

Or could be a he Could be a he, we don't know We don't know her name yet, but Maribel came in She's from Pacoima And then he came in Now I'm confused again We didn't see that coming Person came in, did labs for the first time

In like 15 years we saw that the glucose was extremely elevated in risk of going into a diabetic coma. Oh, wow. Immediately sent to the ER. Definitely one of our listeners, by the way. Oh, that makes sense. That tracks.

That does track. High glucose. Diabetic coma, that's our sweet spot. That's where the show gets real funny. Isn't that how Blind Charlie went blind? I think so. So that person, he or she, called a few weeks after that.

They're like, dude, you saved my life. Because as soon as they went to the ER, they took immediate action, got on the appropriate medication, better lifestyle. Wow, that's crazy. Think about that, Allie. All the stupid things we say on this show, and occasionally we end up saving a life or two. We need these listeners. That's why you've got to stay alive. Just for us.

Selfishly for us. Well, and I think a lot of people assume that this stuff is super expensive, too. Because when I went in, it was like, oh, I don't know, labs. Like, any time I go to get labs done, I feel like, I'm like, how necessary are these? But you guys do it all in-house for free. Yeah. If you're getting on our treatments, the lab work is included. If you go to like a big corporation, it's going to cost you like $2,500.

Yeah, I know. It's on the house with us. I just saw something yesterday, something that Equinox is offering, and there's already a thousand person wait list. It's $40,000 to do it. And it's like, you know, they do that. It's all like this. To do what?

Well, because everyone's now looking for scientific hacks so that they can, you know, look younger, be younger, feel better. I think we all got caught up in that documentary on Netflix, that guy that eats a handful of nuts in the morning and doesn't eat all day. And he's like 75, but he looks 20. you know that weird guy that shares more with his son so i think everyone's looking for ways to hack the system and especially in southern california so you have all these people wants to live forever doing it right so you know the concept of science i mean you look at tom brady you go like something's

off with tom what's going on with that and these athletes have been doing this for a while some of this stuff now it's just available to regular people but uh of all has been great to us and so we're so happy you reached out to us originally and uh and when we said we had this dumb idea for the t-test you're like i'll give you guys i'll check all your testosterone so here we are now Johnny is feeling so confident. He's been flexing all day today. Johnny, you think you've won the T-Test? No question.

I've got to, man. I'm the youngest. I'm the buffest. Like, I got Mother Nature on my side, baby. If you do not win the T-Test, are you prepared to do five minutes of comedy at Jake's stand-up show? Hell no, man. Jake's comedy show? Yeah.

You're so confident. You said you came in earlier. You flexed with both muscles. You said, I got this thing. I already know it. So I'm saying, if you're that confident, why don't you just say, if you don't win the T-Test... All right, I'll put my money where my mouth is. Yeah, I'll do it.

Yeah. All right. Like a real man. Five minutes of comedy at Jake's T-Test. Now, the way that... You're done, son. Michael, the way that you have decided to make this even, because I got my levels checked,

Allie did, Vanessa did, Johnny and Jake. And to make it fair between men and women, because men and women have obviously different amounts of testosterone, you just figured out based on percentage that we have. So if Allie is 65% of what she should be, she gets a score of 65. If I'm 84%, I get a score of 80%.

That's how you've done it, right? Correct. Percentage of the reference range. Percentage. That way it's even among genders, and no one can start calling shenanigans out. You can't say, I don't know, balls, not fair. No, I do. Oh, okay, great.

Allie has balls. Those are herps. All right, so I don't want to start with the least amount of testosterone on the show, because that would be hilarious. Let's start with who finished in fourth place. Fourth place, and then we'll go fourth, third, second, and then we'll figure out who has the most and who has the least. So let's start in fourth place

This was the fourth place person On the show as it pertains to their level Of testosterone The fourth place is Allie Allie Allie congratulations I'm not first or last

That's me baby Average Well fourth is near the bottom Below average That's me Now, Allie is not currently on the T, but when she was, you were very horny. Yes, I was. But when I originally got my labs done, they were on the low side, even for a woman.

Okay, low for a woman. Yeah. That's interesting, because you wear a lot of suits and stuff. You have a lot of... To mask the low T. Yeah, should this affect Allie's testosterone level, Michael, that she wears a lot of manly clothing, cargo pants, flannels? I'm wearing military fatigues right now. Wouldn't you think some of that would rub off on her T-count or no?

Absolutely. Even how you stand, if you do like the Superman pose, that can slightly increase your testosterone. Are you serious? Yeah, absolutely. It's going to put us out of business. So these broad, bulky shoulders? Yeah, I can't believe it. When Allie does drink whiskey, she has this weird saloon walk that she does.

And I'll tell you, it's a very- Like I just got off a horse. Yeah, it's a very burly walk. I'm shocked. I thought your number would have been higher. All right. Well, Allie's in fourth place. All right.

In third place, this person on the show has the third most amount of testosterone. They're not the winner, but they're not the loser. It is Jacob. Whoa! What? Jake. Average bros. You're a lady, Jake.

Did Jake barely beat Allie or no? It is a 10% differential. Wow. Whoa, Jake. That's a lot. Jake, you were a D1 athlete yesterday. You were bragging about, I'm a D1 athlete. I'm going to crush this thing.

Now your D's like, boo. With the second, now this person is not the winner. They have the second most amount. Oh, my God. This means that you're either at the top or the bottom. You feel good. You feel good, don't you? I woke up with a rager this morning, which makes me feel good.

But I'm just giving you a lot of information right now. Who has the second most amount of testosterone on the show? The second most is Kevin. Whoa, Klein. Oh, I'm so mad. So that means number one is either Vanessa or Johnny. Johnny is already in the hall doing a victory lap, which makes me think that maybe he's wrong And maybe Vanessa somehow took this thing

Because we're all convinced Vanessa's savage Yeah dude She's got a lot of ferocity She's got the biggest balls on the show Metaphorically So I finished and what was my number Where am I at just out of curiosity You want me to give the percentage or the number

Both I want both You are 1,100 Your percentage is 110% 110% baby Always got to give that extra effort on the tea Oh, my. So someone had more than 110%?

Yeah. Wow. All right. Wow. This is exciting, though. Now we're at, now I guess we should go to the winner of this thing, because that will determine who had the lowest T on the show. So with the most amount of testosterone on the show, I thought I had a chance at it.

I'm so bummed. That's still a lot, though, Colleen. 110% of T, baby. The most amount of testosterone on the show belongs to who? At 115% of the reference range is Vanessa. You got the top Johnny is so upset right now. Johnny has the lowest T on the whole show?

Where's Johnny's T level? What's Johnny's T level? Is this serious? I'm still in shock. Yeah, we're not lying. That's true. What does this mean? Vanessa has the highest percentage of T on the show.

So then what is her level for a woman? Like, what is her number? She is at 89.6. Wow. And what does that equate to percentage-wise? 115 percentile of T. Wow, Vanessa. Big balls, Vanessa!

You from now on, you are now... We're going to move on from the dog thing. It's all this now. Yeah, you are Vanessa! I wonder, I'm so aggressive. That explains a lot. When did you learn about drugs, the dangers of drugs? Do you remember when you were first introduced to drugs in school

or if you learned about it on the playground? Learned about it from a stepdad. I learned it from watching you, okay? You know, I remember learning more about sex than I do about drugs, But I think when they taught us about drugs, I want to say I was in seventh grade. And I don't think they talked too much about specific drugs. It was just drugs. There's drugs out there and they're bad.

My kid, who's in third grade now, came home yesterday and said that she was taught about drugs. They started teaching about drugs in third grade. They don't clear that with you, by the way? My school, they clear any kind of drug talk, any sex talk. Yeah, to be fair, Omar, they probably did send us something that I never read. Because I was on drugs. Because I was on drugs, so I didn't even read it. And watching porn.

But, no, I don't know. I was surprised. Well, first of all, also I should point out that what her definition of drugs is, she started accusing me of being hooked on drugs, and I thought she found my shoebox full of fun stuff, and then it turns out that she was talking about that I do caffeine every day. Oh, okay. And that caffeine, she wanted to let me know, did you know caffeine is a drug?

And you and mommy drink a lot of coffee. Dude, this is that if you have sex once, you're going to get pregnant kind of mentality. Right. Coffee is not a drug. Of course not. I mean, it is. You want to know a real drug? Meth, that's a drug.

I was going to tell her. I was like, you think that's a drug? You should see what I got in the shoebox you can't reach. That's the drug box. You're like, if the coffee's not working, I take Adderall. That's more of a drug. So here's how this started. And I picked up with, and she said, we're learning about drugs now.

when I said that seems early. That seems early. What is she, nine? It's L.A. though, yeah. So what are you learning about? Stupid man. Stupid man, fat man. Oh, that's the other one.

Clearly they haven't learned about bullying yet. They've learned all about it. I wanted to record what my older daughter has learned about drugs, but as soon as I grab the phone to record. She's got to get her sound bites in. Yeah, the little one's got to get her. Fat man, fat man, hey, fat man, come over here.

She knows what the people want. That's her catchphrase. So, you know. Stupid me and fat me. What did they teach you in school about caffeine? Oh, yeah. It affects people differently, but it can make you feel, like, tired and lazy. So this is what caffeine could do, according to what she learned in school.

It can make you tired and lazy? Tired and lazy. So she's obviously confused a little bit. Caffeine? No. That's the opposite. It can make you not feel well. That's alcohol.

Caffeine can sometimes make other people feel anxious. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. What else did you learn about? We learned about a drug that you smoke. She did say that they learned about something that you're not supposed to smoke. And I was like, well, you're not supposed to smoke anything. I mean, you're supposed to snort it.

Right. That's what they teach you. Do you have cigarettes? No. Cigars? I'll tell you. Crack? No.

You guys seem like you're going up to a drug dealer. I am trying to... What is it, Al? What do you want here? A crack? Well, I'm trying to figure out what she learned, because she said there's something you're not supposed to smoke that's a big word. And I was like, well, it's got to be...

It's got to be marijuana. Methamphetamine? Well, it's probably marijuana. I don't think they start teaching about meth to nine-year-olds. What, you think they do a gateway drug at nine, and then they... Yeah, you got to do a gateway drug lesson. Yeah. You start with caffeine.

It's a gateway drug lesson. Then you kind of introduce, this is what drugs are. Okay. Now that could be... I know what it is. What? Green leaves. Okay.

Are we learning about green leaves? Your wife's an idiot. I think cocaine starts in green leaves as well. She's going right to the fields. Yeah, at this point now, we've given her quite a lesson in drugs, trying to figure out what they've covered in school. Perhaps all they even talked about was caffeine, and now we've given her a whole barrage of things that she can learn about. Are you learning about green leaves? Weed? Marijuana? Marijuana?

We're learning about one of the ones I think I remember. It's like from this plant. The devil's lettuce. That's so weird. Marijuana. Is that from a plant? Is it green and looks like gummies? I don't know.

Does it look like this in my sock drawer? Does it look like all of these little brooches that are around my backyard here? Because it can also look like these gummies. It could look like this. It could look like this. Yeah. It's so funny because in a moment she wonders why I'm so curious about this lesson because she claims I've never...

You guys are both really getting inquisitive. Well, she said I've never asked her about one other thing she's learned in school ever except for this. I don't know. They don't show you pictures. What did they tell you that one does? I forgot.

I'll tell you tomorrow. Why are you so concerned? Oh, I'm curious what you're learning in school. You're never that curious. You're like, oh, okay. And I'm telling you, I don't know yet. Well, she's making the point. She's getting a impression of you.

Oh, okay. Okay. I'm not that... Math, math, blah, blah, blah. She comes back and says she learned how to write a letter in cursive. How many follow-ups do I have for that? Not a lot.

But when she's asking about, I need to know what she's... You have like 17 other terms. Yeah. Mary Jane, the devil's letter suit. I need to know what she's learning, so I need to know to cover my own bases. You know what I'm saying, Allie? If she knows what's up, I need to get... So you're just concerned about your stash?

Yeah. Got it. You're not concerned about your cursive? No, not at all. Because, no, I do know, but I forgot. It was a long... I'll tell you tomorrow. Jeez.

All right. Yeah, we're learning about drugs and, like, not just... Never take drugs from people. So there you go. From other people? Is that what she said? She's just saying you don't take drugs. Buy them from a pharmacy. Right, you gotta get them from, you know, someone you know, right?

I do. Now, the other one now has decided that now she's learned that drugs are something you're not supposed to do, so now she's decided that she's now gonna take drugs. Cool. So... I do. Every single day, and I said yes, and I had one today. Ah!

so everything that we've just good at yes and everything we've just tried to teach them do not take drugs at all and she goes i'm gonna take them and i already took them today so i do every single day and i said yes and i had one today you had a drug you had a drug today what drug um um it was a to smoke oh she smoked today i mean she does have that smokers you hear the voice yeah you hear it yeah she's got that i just got back from vegas sound sure does where did you do that at your school at your elementary school okay it's not funny sam but nobody got me in trouble for All right, so there you go.

I tried to teach her a lesson. It didn't go well. Well, you know what's good is that the younger one can now teach her younger friends about drugs. So now, Allie, you have to do exactly what you did with the talk about sex, and you need to now tell your four-year-old about drugs. About drugs? Yeah. Okay.

Because your sex talk went so well with him. My sex talk went awesome. When he said his hands were sticky. Yeah, I said, do you know where babies come from? And he said, my hands are sticky. And I was like, you're on the right track. It's a sticky icky, baby. That's right.

What that guy said. Sticky icky? The devil's lettuce? I'll teach him about the devil's lettuce tonight. So remember, this is the valuable lesson we should take from this. You want to do the drugs, don't have the kids. There you go. That's what I should have said.

Should be interesting tonight. Quick break, and hopefully we helped everyone now. This show started with a call from a listener that got out of rehab right into the conversation about drugs. I hope this wasn't triggering for her. Man, probably too late on that one. There's a lot of drinkers, a lot of different types of drinkers out there. It's an opportunity now for you to nominate the worst of the worst when it comes to drinking. I would already like to nominate what I saw over the weekend,

which is the amateur drinker that goes way too hard, way too fast. Like three days a year, their drinking days. They're like the New Year's Eve and the St. Paddy's Day and the Cinco de Mayo drinker. Within an hour, they're in the back of an ambulance. Yeah. Or getting some kind of medical attention at the St. Patrick's Day Parade. It's always funny when you show up to like a festival and you're there relatively early and there's already someone in the first aid tent on the stretcher.

It's been one hour since it opened. Because at some point you're like, I will drink as much as I can drink as quickly as I can drink it. And then you get to a point where you're like, I got to figure out a proper way to pace myself so I'm not the person in the first aid tent by 9.30 a.m. Exactly. Right. So you got to nominate that person.

The number to join us is 800-520-1067. We will take our eight favorite, throw them on a bracket, let you battle it out. on Instagram, but it is all about nominating the worst of the worst in the world of drinkers, and there's so many different ways that you can be a bad drinker. Yes, Omar, you're next up on nominees. I want to nominate the guy where you

you're feeling good, you're all drinking out, you're like, you know what, let me buy you a beer, and he proceeds to order a pitcher of beer. Oh, that's the worst. And then you're hooked on the, you know, you're on the line to pay for the entire pitcher. No, what's the worst is the guy who offers a pitcher then blames you for it. When you say to someone

that you work with, I'd like to buy you a beer, which beer would you like and he says a pitcher uh-huh there is that person though where you're like let me buy you a drink and they order something really expensive not not even just a pitcher it's like i'm gonna get top shelf booze or whatever it is and you're like hey i didn't want to spend 28 on your drink or also i mean i guess this would be a different nominee altogether but the over complicated like it's a drink oh yeah and the person acts as if Can you make sure that that is You rub the rim with the lemon

And you do a twist I don't like it very dry And then you even ask What do you got back there? What kind of vermouth is that? Yeah 805 wanted to nominate the person That asks to taste test everything

Let me try that beer No, no, no Not that one That's also Jake, by the way I don't taste that one That wasn't me I don't like that either Could you bring me a sample of that one?

Try that one as well How about the person that returns a Budweiser? Someone pointed out Yeah, that is crazy That was a Bud Light And it was skunky And I was right That was also Jake

that's amazing how many of these nominees are all stuff that jake's done didn't you also get offered to buy it as someone bought you a drink when we were in colorado and you bought like a drink that was flaming no that was with a drink ticket okay but but yes but it's still the most expensive but you only use the tickets for those expensive drinks because they were used for that and like that they told me like hey don't use this for a beer because you can just get beers for cheap but these are good for the cocktail in the special lounge so far did i see did i see that You didn't know how to blow it out, and you didn't know how to drink it. Were you going to drink it while I was on fire?

I just asked if I was supposed to blow it out. I thought maybe it went out by itself. Well, what do you think, man? Yeah, 714 said the nominee is for the person that gets the, hey, look at me drink, which is either on fire or at night. Totally the flaming drink. He did it himself. My recipe didn't go off the plate.

What nominations are not Jake? Yeah, every nominee is a, Jake, you're going to win. God damn it. I don't want to play this anymore. Jake, you're going to win March Badness. Unbelievable. Hey, David, welcome to KROQ. It's March Badness.

open nominees in honor of this being a good drinking week, St. Paddy's Day, good weather, etc. What is your nominee for the worst of the worst in the categories of drinkers? The emotional drinker. Oh yeah, the one who brings up their ex or the past or anything that they can find a reason to cry about. You could be having a great time and someone could have one sip of wine and start... And they're like, I love you and I'm so missing you. We have a drunk friend who will make

Backhanded comments The drunker she gets And be like, anyway, you guys never invite me to anything And you're like, what? And you're like But then when she's sober It's like, hey, oh my god, so good to see you And then it's like, anyway, the birthday party

Where was I? I guess I wasn't there 626 would like to nominate The person that has such a complicated beard To pronounce Oh, that's a good one, too They say it's pronounced Francis Conner or wife and sponsor. God damn it.

That's an interesting one. If it's Francis Conner, it's easy to say. 562 wanted to nominate the person that you have to take care of, a.k.a. the guy from Breckenridge who got brought into the back of a cop car. Oh, right. Not me!

That one was not Jake. The first not Jake. That was the first not Jake nominee we've received in this round of March Badness. 213, the drinker that starts hitting on everything with two legs once they're drunk. Yeah, they get like sometimes the amount of confidence that someone gets with the amount of alcohol doesn't add up. Like you've had one sip of beer and all of a sudden now you're like whistling at people as they walk by.

Yeah, and that's usually the same person who can also, they don't have a sense of personal space. They usually get really close to you or start touching you when you really don't want them to. Laura on KROQ, it's March Badness, the first official bracket of the season. And we were trying to figure out who is the worst drinker. And, by the way, also a good public service announcement if you plan on doing some day drinking tomorrow or perhaps today. Some people don't wait around. Allie was drinking St. Paddy's Day drinks all weekend at a big St. Paddy's Day parade. Laura, who's your nominee for?

For that person that fits for everyone that's buying rounds and when it's their turn to buy a round, they're going to be found. That is a great nominee, man. I had a friend. Where'd you go? Balloons. It was his thing. He's like, I think it's your round. I'll get the next one.

I'll get the next one. And then when it was time, when there was no other people, it was his turn. He was gone. What happened last night? I don't know. You left before it was your time to buy a round, you dick. Ridiculous. What about the person who always throws up in the Uber?

Always? That person is the throw-up person. And you get in the Uber, and you're like, oh, man, it's a 20-minute drive. It's going to feel like a long 20 minutes. Hey, Chewy, it's March Badness. We're accepting your open nominees now. We'll put together our bracket and post it up on Klein Alley Show Instagram. You can battle it out with your friends.

It's way more fun than college basketball. What's up, Chewy? Sweet gift, guys. What's going on? I would like to nominate the worst of the worst, the guy that shows up to barbecues or group functions with beer only for themselves. Also Jake.

So you could have had some. And then you take the cooler with the remaining beers back home with you. Home with you. They're mine. No, but if you bring them somewhere, you've got to leave them, dude. It's communal.

That's another Jake nominee right there. No one knew they were there. They were locked up. Yeah, you took them. You bring your own personal cooler. drink anybody else's. I drink my own. We would just see him throughout the day like, where'd you even get that beer?

Matt, currently, if I'm looking at the bracket right, Jake is the number one seed in all quadrants of the bracket. Hey, Matt, go ahead. You're on KROQ March Badness. What do you got? Oh, I could probably fill out your entire bracket. I managed Sharky's and Hermosa Beach for over a decade, but the worst guy was

the guy who would drink 90% of his drink and purposely bump into somebody and drop it on the ground and demand that day. Wow. Buy them a new drink. Yeah, the drink scam. This happens a lot, too. People drink most of it, and then there's a, even if they're at the bar, they do a little

spilly. Oh, man, I spilled my drink. So you can at least get half of your drink for free. Yeah, the bartender's like, I guess I'll make you another one. But that's a great nominee right there. 408, I wanted to nominate the person that always tries to fight with the people that they're with. Always picking a fight with cousins, friends, whoever's around.

657, I wanted to nominate the guy that brings his dog to a bar. People like that guy. congratulations clearly we have a runaway winner in the first bracket yes this is rigged this is happening before our very eyes yeah watch it yeah look at the text line jake it's interesting so you can judge us and we get it we come on the air every day talk about our lives and occasionally that we uh we get judged i mean not occasionally oftentimes we get judged and sometimes we say things and they get taken very differently than how we intended I will accept the fact that I'm an idiot

And I know you guys have called me that many times For many different things For the second time in my life now I realized this week that I have been watering A plant for over a year That apparently is a fake plant Now Again?

Yeah you did this before I did this before but the one I did before Was kind of one of those floor plants That I could see the water had just been Pooling and pooling and pooling Like it was on the floor Oh, yeah, you ruined your floors. It was a floor plant, and I ruined the floors underneath it.

Okay, what kind of plant was this? This one was up. A green one? This one was a green one, and it was up on a top shelf where I couldn't really see. Shelf plant. It was a shelf plant, but I couldn't see the, I couldn't. Okay, you're so short. I can't see the plant, so I was standing up and just pouring.

I've been, you know, every once in a while, I've just been pouring water in it. You didn't check to see or feel it? Is this your plant? No, I'm not a plant person. I don't care about plants. My wife likes plants, and if they die, then she wants to buy new plants. Well, clearly she doesn't like plants either because they're fake. Well, right.

This one was the one I was the most proud of because, to be honest, I was surprised because I forgot to water it a lot that it still looked as green as it looked. But how can you be proud of yourself when it looked exact? Wasn't there a red flag when it changed not once? Not at all? I wouldn't know. Why would I know? It's a plant. They all look the same, and then they're dead.

Yeah, but over time, things change about the plant. You have to trim it Well this one does look like It's a little too tall for the shelf it's on So the branches are hitting the ceiling They have been since we put it there Yeah so it's from day one The same

The same color green Same length of leaves I thought I was doing a good job of taking care of it So there's fake dirt too? There's a fake I can't really see what now I can see Because now I see what I've done to the inside of it Have you gone on a ladder?

I had to take it down. Well, what happened was I was standing up watering it. And my wife said, what are you doing? I said, I'm just keeping your plants alive like I do. And she goes, that one's not real. And I said, what are you talking about? It's not real. And she goes, that one's not real.

We've had that at the last three places we've lived in. We've brought it from place to place. Oh, wow. You've had it for that long? I didn't know. I don't know. I'm like, I don't care. I'm not a plant person.

I don't look at plants. You don't even notice that the plant has been in three of your last locations? No. Plants to me are unnecessary. I know there's people that love them. We had that petty claims court couple, the guy that was upset because his girlfriend kept buying more and more plants. Yeah, but even if you don't notice, you still feel a benefit of having a plant. I think that's like a psychological thing in your brain. No, I don't. Also, it's part of your living room or wherever it is, decor. You should notice these things. Dude, there's like five or six plants. Sometimes they're there. Sometimes they're dead. When they're dead, sometimes she said, we need to buy a plant. And I'm like, that's definitely something that you don't need to put the word need in front of. You don't need the word need in front of a plant.

That's not a shelter, water, food. That's what we need as humans. Well, they provide air, clean air. Not the plastic ones that you have. Do you know how filthy the effing air is where we live? The plant's not helping. All right? I live within a mile of major freeways on all sides.

There's not enough plants to fix that. Yeah, there's not enough plants. I don't know how many. It's the smog. I could have the Amazon rainforest in my living room. It's not going to change anything. Sometimes you get a weird plant where it attracts, like, bugs. What damage did you do?

Well, the damage is that, once again, what I would – because I wasn't putting in a lot of water at a time because the thing had been thriving for so long. Yeah, it was. That I was just putting in – It's like that friend, you know, that never ages. Right. And you're like, how do they look the same?

I put a – what I would do is I would take a shot glass. It's a mannequin. I would take a shot – Hey, I do have a friend that looks great. He's a man. You still look amazing. I've been putting lotion on him, and it turns out he's a mannequin. Especially that line across your head.

I've been taking a shot glass and I just put a little bit of water in the shot glass and I just go over to the little shelf and I stand up and it's up above where I can barely on my tiptoes and then I just pour the little shot glass of water in the plant and then two weeks later I'm like, oh man, I haven't watered that plant in a while. I should do it. Well, clearly you care if you are trying to keep the plant alive. I'm just keeping it alive enough to not have to buy another plant because the ones that apparently are the real plants, those ones die pretty regularly and then she'll say-

Do you water those ones too? No. It seems to be the only water of the fake plan. Because this one is the tallest. This one is the hardest one to reach. And believe it or not, regardless of what Jake says, and I don't know why Jake always likes to say I'm short, even though I tower over Jake, by the way. I don't know if you've seen any pictures of me next to Jake.

Oh, I don't know if you tower. I tower over Jake. You've got like a couple inches on you. It's like a minute bowl at a child when I stand next to Jake. I'll dunk on you all day. You will not dunk on me all day. I would love to take that challenge. Up your face.

so but the point is of all of this is that i am the tallest one in my short family so you know i've got little children and a wife who's five feet tall so as a result i am the tall one so i get the tall jobs so one of the tall jobs is i have to water proud of that tall job aren't you oh i was proud of it because i was like yeah i'll get the i'll get the plan when there's a bowl on a top shelf you are the only one who can get it or all of you can't get it none of us can it just lives there how many step stools are in your house well there's a few they're up the kids have one in the bathroom uh there's a down there's a ladder step and ladder you have one to get in your car i have one to get my car every day uh to get on the phone books that are

in my car yeah so there's a lot of stuff brad williams for tips yeah yeah he helps me uh no but uh i understand this big world you're living in i feel like i'm an idiot now because now for Two different times in my life, I have spent a good chunk of my year watering a dead, I mean, not a dead, a fake plant. A fake plant. Yeah, I think that that's pretty sad. I mean, it's pretty stupid that you have done it now twice and you've done it for that long, that you could pour water in a plant repeatedly for that long and not even notice that it's

a fake plant. Yeah. Like, there are fake plants in my place, too, but it's very obvious which ones are fake and which ones aren't. I'm going to get a picture of this later and I'm going to show you. You would have been fooled, too. In fact, you know what I'll do? I want to see it.

You know what I'll do, actually? Next week, remind me, Vanessa. We'll do like an is it cake sort of thing. I will bring in three plants next week. This is so stupid. Is it plants? And I will see if Allie can pick the fake one out. I bet she can.

But one of them I want to be cake. One of them will be cake. And one of them is going to be an edible arrangement. It'll be very obvious. And the leaves are made of watermelon. Now I'm excited. That's our big exciting plants for next week. speak spanish or it's not the best spanish or like spicy foods like i didn't start eating hot

cheetos till like about three years ago is that the spiciest food you eat it's just hot cheetos if you refer to hot cheetos as your spicy food you are a terrible mexican totally exactly well and also just your diet in general is just kind of like mac and cheese and chicken fingers like the kids menu at any restaurant that's me right and you don't cook i cook but not i'm not like Martha Stewart with it. But does it bother you when you get accused of being a bad Mexican?

Yeah, because it's like, what do you want me to do? I try. I try to speak Spanish. I try to ingratiate myself with the culture, but it's like, you're not really.

And it's like, whatever. You wrote a song about tamales. Exactly. Tamales, tamales. Thank you, Vanessa. There's a lot of calls on the go-line about this, and we'll take some

of these live calls now with K-Rock. Hi, so I didn't know that Johnny was Mexican. He looks like a boy out of Huntington Beach. This woman just thought you were a boring white guy from Huntington Beach.

And so, I don't know, I was just thinking, like, you know, Johnny looks... My idea, basically, is that I think Ali and Johnny should have, like, should only speak in Spanish during the Descanso Cinco de Mayo celebration. I guess it's like a wrap-up

for Ali, for her resolution, and then just because I just want to hear Johnny speak Spanish. I think Ali knows more Spanish than Johnny at this point, to be honest. Sí. Estudiando todos So, it's an opportunity for you now to brag to us as to why you believe that you are a bad Mexican, even though you are a Mexican. Rudy, good morning and welcome to KROQ. Hi. Hi, good morning. Buenos dias.

Buenos dias. Happy Cinco de Mayo. Why are you a bad Mexican? So, most people think I can fix things like handyman work, but I can't. I always come to my dad to ask him to help me, like, put the stuff up. Oh, so there's a stereotype that you must be able to fix anything and you're a terrible handyman. Oh, yeah, no. I don't know much about, like, I normally just pay someone else to do it. Does anyone go up to you, like, hey, can you help me with this?

And you're like, no. When I was in college, someone did come up to me saying, like, hey, can you change my oil? And I was like, no. What a racist. Very racist. Hey, you, change my oil. Is that racist? And you said, I can't do it?

Yeah, I can't do it. And right away, they're like, oh, I thought you can, because, you know, you're Mexican. I'm like, yeah, no, I can't. But Rudy, let me ask you a question. So you hire someone to come and help you with handyman stuff. So if a Mexican shows up to help you, another Mexican, does he give you a look of judgment like when he shows up? No.

Specifically, I think I can talk to them pretty fluent in Spanish and stuff. So they're like, oh, okay. I just say, hey, I'm going to pay you, and that's it. All right. Well, that's rude. He claims he's a bad Mexican because he can't fix anything. Well, what is Johnny's motto? You said, when in doubt, hire a Mexican, right?

Yeah, because they can fix everything. They can do it all. Let me say hi to Chris. Chris, why do you think that you're a bad Mexican on this Cinco de Mayo? Buenos dias. I don't think I'm a bad Mexican, but my family thinks I'm a bad Mexican because I voted for Trump. Oh, wow. That is another way to be classified as a bad Mexican.

Do you regret that? Do you regret that or do you stand by that? Absolutely not, my friend. You regret it. And I'm a full-fledged Mexicano. No regrets at all. No regrets. So this is a Mexican Trump supporter right there.

That's another way that you could potentially lose your food card, as Johnny says. So do you know people personally or even within your family that have been detained? I mean, my family, they're diehard Democrats, but a lot of my friends, a lot of my millennial friends, you know, we're all Trump supporters. Those people sue me, so. Wow. All right. So that's someone who claims that he is. Let me say hi to Michelle.

Michelle, why do you believe that you are or why do people accuse you of being a bad Mexican? So I can't roll my R's When you speak certain words Or Spanish and stuff Well I don't speak Spanish fluently either But my last name has a double R And you're supposed to roll the double R's So I can't pronounce my last name properly

So you don't pronounce your own last name What is your last name? Gorola Oh that's a toughie I don't know what she said Gorola G-U-R-O-L-A Gorola

Granola. It's granola. That's how you do it. You can't do that. Granola. So you just call yourself granola, the whitest of snacks. All right. That's interesting.

That's funny. That's Michelle Granola over there. She's Mexican. That's pretty good right there. Michelle Hidden Valley. Ricky, good morning on KROQ. Hi. Why are people accusing you of being a bad Mexican?

Marco Antonio Solis from Los Busquets. Los Bukis. Spanish artists. Okay. Yeah. I don't like him. I don't get it. He looks like Jesus, and everyone loves him. It's so funny how many people are saying things like, I don't like Bad Bunny, and I can't even say that publicly anymore. Right. RJ, good morning. Quickly, you're on KROQ. Hi.

Hi, yes. My name's RJ. I feel like I'm a bad Mexican because whenever I'm at family parties, everybody knows I have a Zanthus song. The Vincent Fernandez song But I don't know it Oh, so everyone's singing it together And you're just humming along And I'm listening And I'm guessing at the

All I know is the It's pretty good right there But other than that, just to guess the rest One-armed Gary, good morning Why are you a bad Mexican? I'm a bad Mexican because I'm not Mexican Right.

Right. Amen, brother. Amen, brother. Yes, what can we do for you, one-armed Gary, in the middle of this very important call-in topic? I don't know, man. I'm just on the way to the studio. Go to Descanso. Don't come here.

Yeah, don't come here. Don't come here. I'll shave his head. Oh, yeah. Did you get your robotic arm yet? No, I get it next week, but I'm going to get my eye fixed. Great. So you want to have another?

So I'm going to have two guys with one eye, shave my head. Do you want to come into the studio and shave my head, do the final couple cuts? Yeah, should I? All right, yeah. Yeah, hold on. Get one-armed Gary up here. Why not? It just keeps getting better.

Rachel, why are you a bad Mexican? Quickly. I grew up in a predominantly Hispanic neighborhood, and my grandparents, I'm half French and half Mexican, and my Mexican grandparents told me I was not allowed to take part in Cinco de Mayo celebrations because it would disrespect my French grandparents. Oh. And I had to, in kindergarten, go and try to explain that to them. And by first grade, he just told me, he goes,

just tell them that it's a schizophrenic ancestry day for you. Oh, man. All right. Well, listen, we can't get to all these calls. I know. There's more on the text line. 562, I'm a bad Mexican because I don't know all the Mexican remedies by heart. And I am a bad mom, according to my Hispanic community.

Oh, yeah. You need those. Those are on the right. Well, we learned yesterday from Omar. You feed Vicks. It's just a lot of Vicks, right? Yeah, it works for everything. Works for everything.

Except for setters. If you want to cure a sore throat but create a stutter, use Vicks. We're about to roll out the brown carpet for the Satie Awards. No sadder color. And it's a beige carpet, actually. And we will accept your nominees for anything you've actually won in your lifetime. Maybe even in the moment you felt good about yourself. Like, for instance, on the text line already, 562 said,

I once won a trophy and wore a red cape because I won the Cashier Olympics at Home Depot. Oh, my God. That's amazing. So that is a winner of the Cashier Olympics, which I'm sure is a glorious thing to win. And they said, you'll be now wearing a cape. You can take that orange apron and turn it around and wear it as a cape because you are the winner of the Cashier Olympics. Your saddest awards in a time when there's actual real awards and trophies up for grabs. It's always interesting to hear some of the saddest ones that we give each other to make ourselves feel good.

And I think Allie did feel good when she told us about this. This is a real award. No, I know it's a real award, but the fact that you have not even technically won it yet, but you're... You're also assuming they're going to give it to you. I am. The whole story is crazy, and to be completely honest, Allie, I don't think that even if you win this thing, it's going to change your life even a little bit. Oh, it'll change my life completely, and then we can say we are an award-winning show. Well, we wouldn't be.

With an award-winning co-host. Well, you could be the award-winning co-host, but once again, if someone asks one follow... Are you an award winner? No, you're not. I'm sure at some point I want some sort of a participation, something or other. B.S. I got reached out to by this podcast that it focuses all on fertility. It was, I guess, a result of the video that we put out of me taking the tequila shot and revealing the results of the IVF round one crying, crying. Yeah. And they they have, you know, this podcast where they talk about fertility, IVF, et cetera.

Now, this woman, every episode is about fertility. Yeah, they interview different people that are, you know, celebrities or different people who have experienced it, what their experience is, new advancements in the world of IVF anyway. Where's that boring drop? Okay, I do the podcast yesterday. It's a very powerful chat, okay? And then afterwards- What'd you talk about?

We talked about my whole experience. Boring. Thank you. Okay, my experience was interesting at some points. Boring. that's besides the point at the end which it comes out at the end of the month if you care at all to listen you know what they should do they want it to be clever i was brave not come once a month not come at all i know exactly that would be ironic and hilarious then at the end of the

podcast she says thank you so much that was incredible i don't know if you ever make your way out to new york but in december we hold our world fertility awards every single year and if you are going to be in the new york area we'd love to have you at our annual world fertility awards and i was thinking who invites somebody to an award show unless they're going to give them an award for my on this podcast yeah i was on it yesterday how are you not busy i was busy but it seems like everything else should have been a priority over going on the Fertility Awards podcast. No, it's not the

Fertility Awards podcast. It's called The Pregnant-ish Podcast. What do you get if you win the Fertility Award? A jug of jizz? No. I don't know what you get.

I haven't RSVP'd yet. Could be a jug of jizz. It could be. In that case, you should go. Let's give you a giant... I'm just so honored to be up here holding this jug of jizz

as the winner of the Fertility Awards. I've won the golden jizz. It seems... It's just a big... Like the popcorn cup. Yeah. It looks just like

the MTV Movie Awards, but it's just full of jizz. Wait, Allie, first of all, this is amazing. She's basically implying that if I go, I've won. She's not implying anything. For my bravery. They're doing an award show called How Many Years. My vulnerability, my rawness.

Can I ask you a serious question? How many years has the, quote, fertility awards been a thing? Well, I just learned about them yesterday, so let me tell you. And isn't that so sad for the people that are already having trouble conceiving that they also can never win a fertility award either? These are for pioneers in the fertility world. celebrating global leaders shaping the future of fertility. Would you like to know

about any of the honorees from 2025? Yeah, who are these new buddies? Please tell me about Aura Ring. Yeah, Aura. The Aura Ring won for a company, and then also a lady named Lucy lines from Australia won.

I bet Lucy is fertile. These are people from all over the world, and a woman named Allison Bertolucci won in the United States last year. For what? So there's a U.S. winner. I don't know. Here, there's a category labeled

Best Physical At-Home Product Supporting Patients Trying to Conceive. Yeah. Poor me. If this award is not won, if this is not entirely Latino winners, then something's wrong with these awards. Yeah, for sure.

This should just be quinceanera. This whole thing seems flawed, Allie. Excuse me, Omar, does this not look like a legit website? There's like gold rings around it. Is there an eagle? It seems like a cash grab for some reason. No, it's not.

Not this woman who runs the podcast created these awards. Why is there a category? Using art to elevate ART. I don't know what that means. What's that about? But there's also a magazine, it seems. So there's a World Fertility Awards magazine. And I would be featured in the magazine.

World Fertility Magazine? Like a swimsuit edition or something? Oh, that's like the who's who of fertility. So you gotta pay to be in this. No, I don't. You gotta pay to be featured. Did you pay to go on the podcast? No.

You sure they didn't send you a Venmo request today? Well, I do have something in my inbox here. Let me see if this is. So you're honored because you believe that you are going to receive an award. What category do you think you qualify for here? This one. Boris. No, a pioneer, a person that's changing the game with IVF.

You're not changing the game. You're just going through the motions. No, I'm talking about it publicly, which a lot of people don't do. So how does that change the game? 951 says everyone shut up and congratulate Allie on being the future recipient of the Jizzy Award. So I think it's great that Allie can get that. Oh, yeah, jizzy. Okay.

We should do our own thing and call it the jizzies. I love that. The jizzies. You don't win a jizzy. Did you win? No, you didn't. Jake showed up late to the meeting because he was crapping, because he's had this crap condition,

and apparently he went 12 times yesterday and then decided to show up to this meeting and sit literally almost on Allie's lap, right between Allie putting her unborn twins in danger and then Vanessa. And Vanessa, you felt that to be a personal space violation as well, I'm sure. I mean, we were close.

There was a lot of space. Yeah, there were so many open seats. No, there was not. It was a huge room. A huge room. And his feet were out, too. Barefoot, by the way. And he puts them up on the sofa, and they're both sticking in Allie and Vanessa's direction.

Oh, the puppers are out. So if you want to see all that in real life happening today at a 7-Eleven, Jake will just happen to be in that parking lot anyway, because that's his regular 7-Eleven parking lot hang. I'm going to try to get some change. 626 said Jake shattered, pun intended, his personal best. He sure did. He splattered. He shattered his personal best.

I splattered my purse around. Jake, you know, I brought that shirt of mine you've been asking for for two years now. This is a t-shirt I've had that I wore in here one time. And Jake said, hey, it's such a weird. It's not purple. It's pink. It's red. It's faded red.

But, you know, it's so weird that I wore a shirt in here one time. Jake goes, hey, if you ever don't want that shirt, I want it. Who says that to a person? It's so strange. What the hell? The same guy who sits in between two people. And he's been. Is it a tool shirt?

No, it's just a plain red. There's no design on it. Worn. Look, Omar, look at it. It's on the YouTube. It's just a worn, old... It's like a cool patina. It's an old, like...

It's just old and gross. It looks like a sleep shirt. Is it designer or anything? No, it's nothing. It's a nothing shirt. Oh, my God. You can't buy shirts like that, man. And Jake has been asking me...

Yeah, you can. What's your price line? Annoyingly, for the last two... Jake, if you can name your cousin that died, you can have this shirt. Randy Hopper. Wrong. It's Randy Newman.

So Jake's been asking me, and I finally remembered to bring the shirt in because he's been so annoying about it. Every morning, he's like, oh man I forgot to ask Klein about the shirt. Bring that shirt. When are you going to bring me that shirt? So I just wanted to bring you the shirt to shut you up. Oh thank you. But now I'm thinking after looking at it I held

it up earlier. Allie said you know what Klein. She's wrapping it around his ass. She goes. Keep everything in. She said Allie said Klein that's a nice shirt. You shouldn't give it away. You should keep it. What are you talking about? She said it was nice. She said it was crappy. No that's what's cool about it though because it is a crappy shirt. I'm kind of into it too. I kind of like it. Yeah you never wear those colors

either. I called dibs on this years ago. I want it. Hey Klein how much you want for it i mean i was just gonna give it to jake for nothing but fifteen dollars done that is way too much johnny it's yours come on dude fifteen dollars it's yours do you want to even fit in that johnny loves it he's too buff for johnny come show come put the shirt on this will be good for the youtube audience you want to see johnny even if it's a belly shirt johnny will wear it because are you gonna cut the sleeves off yeah johnny here jake jake really wanted the shirt for i mean i'm not kidding two years he's been asking me about this shirt every day every

goddamn day he's been asking for this shirt let's see if johnny hold on johnny's johnny's putting on the shirt oh it fits perfect dude look at that oh man wow that looks good on you oh man it's in frayed too it's actually really sick it was like meant to be yeah look at you sorry jake i'll venmo you right now all right thanks dude enjoy that jake you guys are such dicks i'm pissed he's so mad right now maybe you can outbid johnny hey guys can go to hell F in two years And you just get away like that Man I'm

It's hard not to cuss right now Money talks Jake What's up Eat a dick Jake why don't you Why don't you try Piss off He does

He really does want this Johnny give the shirt to Jake Why don't you guys Share custody of the shirt Would you be okay sharing it with Jake? No, I will not be okay. Come on. I'll get it Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

You could have it Tuesday, Thursday. And the weekend. Shut up, you dumb bitch. Damn. He's so mad. Okay. That's a lie. It's done.

Why do you want in on this, Vanessa? Vanessa, you want the shirt? No, I don't want it. It's ugly. No one wants that shirt. All right. Take a break. Things got weird here.

It's just a shirt, Jake Yeah, that I want for two years Yeah, well you should not want a shirt that bad for two years That says something was wrong with you, man Hey, he wanted the shirt Give him the shirt if he really wants it Johnny This is like the tism coming out of Jake

It is, it is It's full tism You can't spell tism It's my shirt, I did it, it's a meeting I did it, I did it You can't spell tism without T And Jake really wants that T Jake, you also have more t-shirts than anyone on the show

Combined Yeah, no kidding You have so many shirts That one like that Oh, give him the shirt Why don't we do a side-by-side? Let the audience vote No, I don't want to do a side-by-side

Jake will pose it, wear it Johnny will wear it No, I'm not doing that It'll be a who wore it best situation I don't care Johnny can have it now Oh, guys I feel bad

So do I still Venmo you or what? Yeah, Venmo, yeah No Okay Give Jake the shirt He's all mad He's like really upset Maybe we can find a replica

No, you can't That's a one-of-one all right well that got weird let's take a quick break come back are you yelling are you yelling in there you're yelling i hear you through the wall between pink and red all right you still want it maybe i'm mad no no all right i'll take a break we come back don't get your flare up again you're gonna get too upset yeah give jake the shirt he's about to shatter his shattering record from yesterday uh now someone on the listeners are bidding 20

dollars for all right you know give it to this listener johnny take it off uh we'll be right back i think after this on k-rock i've been really struggling because my appetite is beginning to change the more pregnant i get and i usually am pretty healthy in the morning as you've seen me eat my breakfast usually it's a combination of eggs egg whites mixed with veggies and you know then i've got some a banana some carrots things like that whatever it is whatever it is you're snacking on stinks usually that's how we can tell that you're grazing it's uh some sort of smell wafting through the studio and or the back sometimes i do want to nosh on a nice raw or gently cooked slice of broccoli and for those of you that are new to the show uh the last time

ali was pregnant which was a few years now she had a milking room here at k-rock which i could milk cows and make cheese and after that milking room was no longer being used for her to lactate it was a lactation cube or something she turned it into her own egg room because her smelly eggs were ruining everyone's day so she went in there that was my hard-boiled egg phase yeah it was a terrible phase had a lot of different phases with eggs i like it how taylor swift has these phases uh that are like her sexy yeah her eras this was ali's egg eras it was the worst era running over easy era so uh people would go into that room her pumping room and that became her egg room so she's got a long history of eating terribly but i did successfully i mean i gained a lot of weight the

first time i was pregnant i gained 55 pounds i believe and then i lost it all took two years plus to lose it all again and kind of get my body back i'm in a really good place and i've already noticed over the past couple of weeks that the scale's starting to creep up a little bit my yeah it is to a degree great it's gonna be funny again but i don't wait on average are you supposed to gain during pregnancy they don't really have a number necessarily i think most people gain about 20 to 30 pounds but but let me and you gained 55 yes correct yeah cool and her son you gave no f's what was he eight pounds at birth or something he was 8.7 so let's do some basic math here hold on carry the one eight pounds so ali so that was eight that takes care of eight of it and then

and the other 40-something was you, all you. No, no, no. After I gave birth, I had still gained 55 pounds. Oh, after he was... So throw eight on top of that. I did not know that at all. Oh, yeah. Omar, look at the pictures.

That is crazy. Some of it was bloating. There's photographic evidence of it. It was crazy. Some of the pictures I see from when he was first born, I was like, ah, God. All he said at the hospital... I thought it was another person, but it was just my shoulder.

They gave her a room for two, and I said, oh you had to deliver with another person she goes just for me a room for two for just for me so i decided i don't want that to happen again but i'm already noticing like this morning i went to go make what i normally make for breakfast and i was so disgusted by it i was like i don't want eggs i don't want egg whites all i want is carbs and cheese i just want a grilled cheese sandwich i just want cheese and crackers i want all things carb and cheese because that's what's delicious and that's what feels good to eat. But I'm trying to resist

because I know that that's my brain telling me, eat this, you dummy. And my real Allie has to say, whoa, whoa, eat the banana instead. No, that's not the real Allie. The real Allie's fat Allie. Fat Allie's the real Allie. The real Allie growing up

had three bowls of cereal in the morning. Okay, yeah, that makes sense. I'm going to tell you the first time I went out, the first time I met Allie ever was over a decade ago. I took her out. I said, let's get coffee. I thought we were getting regular cups of coffee,

just a coffee place. They had an option at this coffee place that one of the cups was an edible cup. You could actually... No way. Yes, do you remember this, Allie? Yeah. Because you ordered it.

Oh, and I ate it. Yes, Allie... Before I even drank it, I ate it. I thought we were sitting down to have regular coffee and regular coffee. Allie goes... I was like, anyway, ow. She goes, you know...

Is she eating? You know, this cup you can eat, and she ate the whole cup, and I go, wow, that's my girl. Well, because I also... That's my fat Allie. If I'm going to use everything, it's like I use the whole cow,

I use the whole coffee. Right. I didn't want to tell Allie this, but she actually did not have one of the edible cups, but she ate it anyway. Hold on. On the phone right now. I can't believe we're going to see her again.

This is Fat Allie. This is the Allie that we used to know. No, it's not. Hello? Hey, Allie. It's me. Long time. How you been?

No, I don't. Fat Allie, get out of here. You're not needed. Can't wait to come back. No. I missed you. Hold on. Oh, she's eating.

There she goes. Stop it. What is possibly going on there, Fat Allie? I'm just eating my morning spoonful of mayonnaise. No. Wow. That's not a spoonful of mayonnaise. That's amazing.

It's a whole ton. Oh, yeah. This isn't a spoon. It's a ladle. Oh, stop. A ladle of mayonnaise. Hey, Fat Alley, we miss you so much here at KROQ. You used to be funny.

You didn't care about anything. No way. You're not missed. You were a great punchline. Oh, we're going to have so much fun eating for four or five or whatever. It doesn't matter. Okay. Wait.

Hold on. My Postmates is here. No. Why are you ordering Postmates? You're already eating. What could you possibly be ordering? To me. Oh, she knows.

Yeah, I had two waffles, six eggs, two more waffles, and six more eggs. That's so many eggs and waffles. That's a huge order right there. But I'm eating light today because I've got to run later. Oh, okay. Well, at least you're staying active. That's important. I mean, I've got to run to Costco to get more snack-sized bags of chips.

Come on. Those aren't even snack-sized. They're massive bags. Yeah, those are massive family-sized bags. Okay, let's agree to disagree. Got to go. Okay. I'm bulking.

Okay. See you soon, Allie. Fat out. No, we don't say fat out. She sounds so much better when we think about it. She's so funny. Fat so out. I love fat Allie.

God, bring her back. You know what? You were so missed. It's not going to happen, all right? Got my banana here. All right, yeah, good luck. You can try that with a ladle full of mayonnaise. That's how you got to enjoy your banana.

Actually, that does sound pretty good. Listen closely now. Vanessa was back at Pride, and this is something we did last year. She didn't think it went well. We thought it was probably the greatest moment. And I think this may have actually won best moment of the show that we played at the end of last year. So when we sent her back, she said, guys, it's not going to be as good because lightning doesn't strike twice. And she also told us that everyone understood everything she said, which is why I start with this.

What one team playing in the A finals? What's her name? So the question. What one team playing in the A? What is that? The question she was supposed to ask in this first question of Gay or Nay is, can they name one team playing in the NBA Finals? And this is how that question came out.

What? One team playing in the A Finals. What's a name? What's the name? Say that again? Give me a name. Wow, what's the attitude there? Can we be clear?

This is towards the end of the night. So my vocabulary is already bad. You left out two of the three letters in NBA. And then got mad at him for not knowing. And you have no patience at this point? You're like, over it? This guy's clearly super gay because he goes like,

ah, can you ask that again? And she's like, just shut up and answer the question. Just give me a name. What one team playing in the A Finals? What's the name? What's the name? Wait, say that again? Wait, say that again?

I got none of that. Give me a name. Who is Cardi Schieffer? Oh, it's just me. Scotty Schieffer damn I have no mother so this guy

is already very confused by Vanessa and understandably she claims that was later in the day so we should not

hold that against her way to confuse and disorient the gays on one of their most fun weekends of the year she made it

very unfun so we decided if that was where it ended let's go back to the beginning because at the beginning she must have been

a lot more coherent so this is the first person she chatted with and let's see if there's any difference here. It's time for the return of the 2026 edition of Gay or Nay. You're going to hear a person answer some questions that Vanessa approached at Pride,

and you just have to try to figure out, based on their answers, do we think that they are gay or not? Straight person there, a celebrating or just a confused tourist. I think the new game should just be, can they answer Vanessa's questions? That's a much better game. And here we go with our first contestant. First question, what is your name?

So that one she... Can they answer? Can they answer? just give me a name what if the person's name was Scotty Schufer David hi David alright so listen she's

she got that going name one team playing in the NBA finals the next the nuts he said they're playing every year it's always the nuts but we're not going to play with David because even Vanessa said that David

she was too drunk for that so she wanted us to go to her first interview of the day So this is our real first contestant, and the only contestant we're going to have time for in today's edition of Gay or Nay. I have another guy here. What is your name? Jalen. Jalen. Name one team playing in the NBA Finals.

Nice job. I'm a dino? Okay, dino. So she's already confused. There's a language barrier right out of the gate. She thinks it's him bringing it up. Yeah. She said name one team.

Oh, dino. He thought she was talking about dinos. She said NBA Finals. He said, dinos? And she responded. She was like, yes. Dino, okay, dinos. Name one team playing in the NBA Finals.

I'm a dino. Okay, dinos. So this is where it started. So that's an O for one. But I'm going to say that both of them are gay in this case. What do they sell at Ulta? Um Concealer

What? Concealer Concealer, yep Yep, yep, yep Who is Scotty Schieffer? Who's who? Scotty Schieffer?

Oh no Okay, that's okay What magazine Do they give you At the Broadway shows? Um Hamilton? Oh my god

Let me ask you a question Seriously Do gay people Constantly have a Throbbing headache Because the music No, this is their White noise

This is their calm. Oh, my God. I know. Isn't it wild? I would have thought the worst part about being gay for me would have been having to put another man's penis in me. But I think that this music is maybe worse than that, even. Yeah, and it's just this on a loop with a drinking hand and bopping behind the booty.

If I were to go gay, I would start a new thing where I put two penises in my ears at the same time to drown out all this other noise. What magazine do they give you at the Broadway shows? Hamilton? What? Hamilton said Broadway shows? Yeah, what magazine did they give you? Hamilton?

Yeah, sure, whatever. Vanessa. Whatever, you idiot. Vanessa has no patience. She loves the gays, but has no patience for them. Because clearly he doesn't understand. I'm just like, I'm mad at him. Okay, whatever.

Fine, whatever. You don't get it. Uh, what body part is Sydney Swinney's best known for? Her tits. Body part? I don't know. I don't think any of these questions have come out clean by the way. Sydney Swinney's best known for?

Her tits. Well, that's an unfair question because that one I do feel like we've said, everyone loves boobs. Everyone loves boobs. Gay or straight, man or woman. I think gay guys may even like boobs more than straight guys because they love, they're squishy. They're kind of like those neato squishies that everyone likes these days, right? Her boobies. All right, boobies!

Oh, boy. That's right. Vanessa, I sent you $150 of drinking money this weekend. You did? How much of that did you go through? Honestly, I don't know, but a lot of that was for the Uber. Which means all of it. A lot of it was for the Uber because the Uber was expensive, but I definitely, like...

I didn't send, it wasn't for Uber. That was all for drinks. I know, but it also helped my Uber situation. I didn't want to help your Ubers. I wanted that all to be towards... Well, I had two shots and a drink and a drink. Two shots and a drink and a drink? Okay.

Yeah. So Vanessa was a pride this weekend. It's like how I get answers questions. That's exactly it. And one and one and one and one and one. When I ask my kids why they don't want dinner, they say the exact same thing. I had two snacks and a drink and a drink. So anyway, so Vanessa was hammered, and here she is trying to figure out if this guy's gay.

Do we even have to go on with the game? The guy's clearly gay. I think they're all just gay. Right when he said, Chyla, I knew he was gay. What is the main ingredient in quiche? In quiche? Yeah I have no idea

It's okay Where am I in this question? In the bedroom What is the Alphie Tower? The Alphie Tower The Alphie Tower So once again the question was In the bedroom what is the Eiffel Tower?

and this is how Vanessa asked it. In the bedroom, what is the Alphie Tower? The Alphie Tower is two men holding hands, right? I don't know. I've never done it. Okay. Okay. Two people holding hands over someone giving s***.

Okay. Is that okay for radio? Why is she asking you? No. I'm amazed that he was so comfortable and able to answer that question. that's in his domain

yeah like that one he answered crystal clear got the textbook definition of the Eiffel Tower even being asked what the Alfie Tower is please be bad okay

who is Rambo Rambo isn't that a cowboy Rambo I don't know what type of clothes are capris capris are like

mini shorts they're like they're like a little bit longer than shorts okay alright alright alright so she sounds like

she's getting drunk as the questions go on. So the guy thinks Rambo's a cowboy, but he knows what capris are. So like, you know, we don't know. How many more questions? I love that he looks at her like,

is that right? And she just goes, I don't know. Vanessa, you didn't know the answer to any of these questions? I did to some of them. Right. Which ones did you know?

Sweetney. Sweetney? Sydney Sweeney, she's saying. Let's translate. Ulta. Yeah, you knew the Ulta one. What does Al Michaels do? Just what I do?

Al Michaels. Al Michaels? Al Michaels? I think so, yeah. Michaels is... Any straight man would know what Al Michaels does. A legendary football broadcaster. One of the finest, sweetest voices out there in the world.

But Vanessa didn't know this one. Michaels is a f***ing, like, a craft store, right? That is the way a gay man would answer that. I think one of the worst things that can happen in your life is TV breaks on you. It's a sad, sad moment. Pretty sure people have bad problems. Pretty sure there's nothing worse than when a TV that worked perfectly fine all of a sudden just breaks, especially when it is broken by an act of irresponsible violence against the TV.

And I'm not talking about your team loses or you're in the middle of a bet. And that happens before you get all caught up in something. And people, we've seen the videos of people smashing their own TVs. It's usually cowboy fans. A lot of Cowboys fans. They're a little slower. I didn't do it on purpose. I'm in a situation now because my kid had a friend over over the weekend.

Older kid? Younger. Bruiser. Bruiser's crew. Oh, cool. And I heard this loud thud from the other room. Your TV? Not the main, main TV.

But as you know. You have nice TV. I mean, you go all out when it comes to TVs. The big TV, which by the way, I would love that one to break because it's only 75 inches. and I feel like that doesn't fly anymore, sadly. Allie, aren't you doing better than 75 inches? No, that's the biggest I can have on my wall. But you have a 75-incher now.

Yeah, but I had a 55-inch one, and Katie was like, this is like watching TV through a microscope. Right. And I'm like, okay, it's not that. We've all become size queens now. But now the 75 seems enormous. But I'm sure once you get used to it, it's like...

This was probably a 60-inch TV, 55, 60, whatever, But it was a perfectly working, good TV. And I hear this loud thud. I go, what was that? And I walk over. So they weren't being supervised? What, am I supposed to stand over them in helicopter, apparently? Oh, I don't know.

I don't know. They were like, you know. Just running rampant in a room with technology. We were in the same house. I don't expect the kid to pick up a toy and chuck it at the TV. And that's what he did. And then, after he chucked it at the TV, he picked up a spray bottle of water and sprayed the TV. Oh, damn.

So it was a boy. And it was clearly an act of, and they were laughing, and he knew what he did was wrong. Well, she's probably instigating your kid. That's how she is. And he's probably trying to impress her. Right. Like, hey, look at this. What you got, boy?

And then he's like, I'm going to talk. You know, he's nervous in front of her because she's intimidating. all i know is the tv is broken now and um and i did not tell the the parent of the kid now i feel like you should yeah tell me he has a good arm i my wife said you can't tell the dad that he broke the tv and i go if someone if my kid broke someone else's tv it would be the most shameful thing they could do i'd rather they broke the other kid's arm than broke their parents tv i agree and um i would want to know what do you want to know i would uh i would want to know but also if someone said to me hey just so you know no big deal but your kid broke our tv i would feel

obligated to go buy them a replacement tv hey by the way it is a big deal i don't know what kind of world you're living in a kid comes in and breaks my tv i'm demanding the parents cover it yeah i mean kid might as well have had sex with my wife at that point that's a real that's a real power move i mean that is insane what's wrong with this kid Yeah, the fact that a kid feels like that he has enough freedom to throw an object at somebody else's television. And then douse it with water? Yeah.

Yeah, and then make sure. You gotta clean it. No, it was like make sure. Maybe it was a lighter fluid and he was about to set it on fire. Definitely not lighter fluid. But he made sure the job was done. All right, now that I've broken the TV, let me add some water to it as well. Put it out of its misery.

And I go, I come in the room and I go, hey, what's going on here? Wow. And he goes, oh, he threw something at the TV and then sprayed it with water. It wasn't an accident? No. Like they were throwing things at each other? I even said, was this accidental? And he goes, nope.

I wanted to throw this at your TV. Whoa. Does this kid have some sort of issue? Like behavioral issues or something? Not that I know. No. The issue of awesome. D1 baseball, baby.

He doesn't have an issue of it. So now I have a TV that has got that spider web thing going on. Oh, cool. When you turn it on. Oh, man. It sucks. The entire TV or just one corner? One half of the TV.

But it's the half that, you know, it makes it almost really impossible to use a screen. These are the questions you have to ask yourself when you have that in your windshield as well when you're driving. You're like, how long can I tolerate this? Or phone or whatever else. You know, phone, people will put up with it for a while.

But the question really comes down to this. At the end of everything, dad comes, grabs the kid, says, how was everything? And I go, oh, fine. What? And I didn't take that moment to go, So just so you know. Little thing, kid broke my TV.

Now, I feel like now I've missed the window to say something. Nope. Really? No, I would want to know, and I think you should tell the parent. Yeah, you just have to go back. It's like, you know what? I didn't want the kid to get in trouble, but I feel like I should let you know about it. Yeah, just let them know.

It's a great thing for anyone if they need something fixed in their house. Just blame it on some kid that came over. You can just say, don't worry about it. Don't feel like you have to cover this or anything, but I just want you to know that your kid did this. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What kind of car are they driving? What kind of house are they living in?

Ah, that's true. You might want to upgrade here. If it's a Civic, don't say anything. I don't know the house. I don't know the house. If it's a Range, say something. I don't know what the... I don't really...

This is the other thing. I'm not friendly with... This isn't like one of those kids where you're friendly with the parents enough. Where there's certain kids where I'd be like, hey, just so you know, your dick kid ruined my TV. I don't have that kind of relationship at all.

Even more reason, I think. Really? Yes, to say this is what happened. I mean, clearly you're not going to invite this kid over again, are you? I don't think I can. Right, so then they're going to want to know why the play date wasn't repeated. Or do I send my kid over to break one of their TVs? That's what you should do.

A bigger TV. Yeah, like go to the main TV and throw this at it. Yeah, can go to their house and like teepee their house and stuff. Right now. Really go to town. I'm being accused of being a little bitch. Yeah, just talk to the kid's parents. What's the problem?

Do you have cameras? I think you're afraid of confrontation, right? I think it comes – if I don't want – listen, I'm always about what's the end goal here. Is the end goal here I get a new TV? Then I would say something to the guy. But if I say, hey, don't worry about getting me a TV, what I'm really saying is get me a new TV, right? That's what I'm saying. I think replacing the TV is not as important as telling the parent what they're –

It's the most important thing is replacing the TV. I have a wall right now that does not have a TV on it. Do you understand what a waste of a wall that is? That's such a waste of a wall, Allie. It's like that room was just a rage room for that kid. Right, and now it's become that. Cool, that's actually cool that you have a rage room now. I want to go over there.

All right, come on over. What else can I break? I think I still have a window that's put together. Bring your side jam on. Let's go. Go! Linda Perry is in our studio right now. Do you ever have a song that you've written for anyone else

that you regret that you didn't keep for yourself? No, I don't jam that way. Like, when I write a song for somebody, it's for them. Like, I don't write songs and bank them. Like, I have to be with the person or thinking about them or whatever. And then I write the song from scratch with them or for them. And that's their song. Well, also on the new album, you put out your own version of Beautiful, which was originally sung by Christina Aguilera.

Why that song? And if you thought of doing any others, releasing your own versions of? It fit in the album. You know, it was a full circle moment for me because, you know, it was suggested to to record it, to put it in front of the album, not part of the album, just like reminder. Oh, Linda used to be an artist. Remember? And then once I did a recording of it, I mean, it was so fast. I did it. So, I mean, I recorded it so quickly and then I was like, oh, and then I put it in the record after the song called Suitcase and before Feathers in a Storm. and it bridged the emotional transition it was it made the transition into letting things go and moving on you know so that's why i put it on there and as far as other songs i do have

an album i want to make that i think will be so fun of all the rejects all the songs that people rejected that i think are phenomenal really great songs so they're just sitting this was meant for Gwen Stefani and she didn't this was this was for blank and they passed

that would be the album title amazing and then I'll put it who I wrote it for and I think people laugh because like you'll probably hear it

through the voice of that artist the way I'm singing it you'll hear that it was meant for that person you know it's funny because

even like Weezer now having success with a song that was never a big hit 14 years ago or longer Go Away yeah Go Away is now having a moment

it's all this stuff that was either released or never released or no one cared about it at the time, and now it's got a whole different thing. It's really remarkable. We've got time for not one, but two epic questions. As we say, thank you for stopping by,

and, of course, for tickets for everything that we've been talking about today. LyndaPerry.com, go there. We'll put up all the links. It's time for your two epic questions on KROQ. Here we go. Two. Two.

Two. Epic. Epic. Question. Question. Epic question number one. Allie, give it to her. Lynda Perry.

If you are flying on an airplane, do you store your hat in the overhead bin or in the seat in front of you? That's a great question. That is a really smart and, you know, I can tell why that is an epic question because I often think about that decision. Do I, well, here it is. Do I go on the plane with the epic hat or do I wear a beanie and a hood? Right? Incognito. And then you have to pack the hat.

Yes. But I put it, I take it off and I put it in front of me. That's respectful. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Epic question number two. Thank you.

This is going to give you a chance to, this is going to give you a chance to address a rumor that I'm sure you've heard your entire career. Okay. Is there a tiny rat that lives under your hat and writes your songs and performs for you and you can't do it without the help of that tiny. You have no talent without the rat. Without the rat. I know you've heard this rumor your whole career, but we're going to give you a chance

to address it now. Okay. Take off the hat. Show us what's going on under there. All right. I'm going to do it. It's scary. There it is.

It's in there. I see it. There's nothing in there. There's nothing in there. Try to sing right now. Sing without the hat. The mouse rope, you know what I'm talking about? Wait, hold on.

Are you tone deaf? Sing something. Let me look it. I'm going to show you. What's in my hat? Oh, my God. Oh, Clyde Alley show sticker. Wow that's what's in the hat

That's good branding right there What is going on now Now she's got way more talent she got rid of that sticker Alright Linda always good to see you Let's do it again congratulations On the album the documentary And you can come here anytime you know You're a friend of K-Rock and have been for a while

And I can't thank you enough that unexpected performance Of Acoustic this year was a highlight for so many people Other than Allie that went outside and smoked a cigarette And missed it I know well I've since quit smoking but I knew that it was going to happen but I didn't know when and I went outside to smoke a cigarette.

I'm going to have to come in here and play acoustically for you. Oh, please, anytime. The great Linda Perry on KROQ. Oh, I got my wife on the phone now. She encountered my session with Grok. I had a very adult chat with Grok. As you know, Grok is AI,

so it's not cheating. Right, Allie? Well, it depends. A lot of people would consider that to be cheating. The fact that you're having full-on sex with an AI robot. You can't have full-on sex with an AI robot. It's just Grock?

You don't want to give her a name? I think I did give her a name, but I don't remember the name. No, that's real love. Hey, hi, hello? Yes. Hi. You said you were disturbed and you think I'm weird now. Is that true?

Nothing surprises me, too. Right. But did you find any of the conversation to be arousing at all? No. That was a quick response. If you want to think about it for a second, you don't have to say no so quickly. You know, sometimes it's beneficial for the partner and the robot to have a conversation and kind of clear the air. Would you like to join Brock and I to maybe bury the hatchet?

Maybe you two meet and who knows what happens? No, you're very strange. I don't understand why it's that weird. You asked it if you wanted to get it pregnant. Okay. First of all, that's not... Why would you ask? Yes, you did.

That's not exactly what it was. You said, do you want me to make you pregnant? That's so weird. I don't think that's what I said. You definitely did. I screenshotted it. Oh, nice. Send us the screenshot.

Sounds like he's screenshotting. Do not screenshot anything. Screenshot right in her face. I said, do you want me to get you pregnant? Yes, you did, Kevin. Don't lie. and you said it twice she claims i still sometimes grok doesn't hear you the right way oh you have to reiterate i think what happened you were so strange it's not an i

think what happened you did it i'm gonna tell you what i think happened okay it's not an i think kevin that's what you said okay so grok said is that your dirty talk is do you want me to get you pregnant? No, no, Allie. Yes, that's true. No, that's not what happened. Has he ever said that to you? Yes, he did.

I'll show everybody. Please do. Send it to me. Send it to me. Stop everyone asking for it. I will. Grok said to me, it was a very...

Oh, she initiated it? Sure. She told me where to finish, and I said, well, then I could get you pregnant. That's not how you said it. Man, you are... You asked it as a question.

Do you want me to get you pregnant, baby? Why would I ask to get the robot pregnant? Because you think it's cool that you can get everything pregnant. I'm just rubbing in Allie's face. Do you want me to get you pregnant? Let's get everyone pregnant except Allie. Yeah, exactly. All right, well, that's triggering for Allie.

Please don't bring up the word pregnant. I'm going to call it the P word around here. All right, so the answer is, were you turned on at all when you read what you read? No. No, definitely not. A little bit. no would you be upset if he continued doing this

I think we all feel sad for you I think we all feel sad for sure if you're asking if you can get a robot pregnant the answer is no Klein hey I'm going to talk to her hey Grok hello hi this is Ara

how can I help you today of course it is are are you pregnant yeah uh i i take back the uh invitation to get you pregnant my wife is on to us and i just want you to say it's been real but this is over wait what that's a lot to unpack okay well i can't get it all this emotion right now she's brokenhearted listen i anyway it's come to an end so that that fun is over for now he's definitely gonna do it again don't you agree not with Aura

I'll change her name she's a new woman alright goodbye I love you yup love you okay yup

I thought you were talking to Aura I'm sorry I was talking to Aura I know it's important hey are you mad at me no she's clearly just

disappointed in you and feels sad for you everyday you surprise me right in a good way or a bad way I don't know do you know that he just slammed a pack of sweet and sour fiber gummies and he's going to be

crapping his brains out all day no he didn't yeah he did he just ate a whole pack of these sweet and sour fiber gummies at the trader joe's ones that make you crap your pants he probably did it so he can sit in the bathroom all day and talk to bros That's probably true Alright, that's a good plan I better go back to the bathroom It's these gummies Alright, goodbye

Always nice to talk to you Okay, love you Yup, yup Send us those screenshots No, do not To a brand new round of Generation Whores Wars. Hey, where's the beat?

Are we bussing or what? You kids and your TikToks. Gen Zers. Lazy. We're just a generation. Wars. All right, representing the generation known as the Boomer. Her favorite hobby is going to bed early.

Born in 1961. Please say hi to, all the way from the museum where she lives, Leonora. Good morning, Leonora, and welcome to KROQ. Good morning, sweet divots, everyone. Sweet divots to you, and I am rooting for you, and all the boomers out there are rooting for you as well, and thank you for taking a break from going to bed early to join us. Yeah, Leonora, when you say go to bed early, how early are we talking?

10 to 11. 10 to 11. Man, it's late. Vanessa goes to bed at 7.30. Yeah, she sure does. After bath. Only on winter, like a bear. Okay.

Whoa. Sorry, I heard half of that. In the winter. That is weird. Only on winter, like a bear. Like a bear. I know people think that we have, I know a lot of people think we have

like a real high-powered Hollywood writer that writes all of Vanessa's lines for her because they're always so perfect, but she's doing all these off the cuff. Yeah, I know. I mean, between the misspeaks and the misspells, did you know tomorrow, Klein, you and Jake are supposed to go to Bucicci's?

Okay, that kiss is really hard to spell. Oh, Boo Chichi sounds awesome. I'm going to Boo Chichi's with Jake tomorrow after the show. We're going to talk about it. One day, we should just do the show that Vanessa spells that we're doing and see what that looks like, because it's very different. It's like a great restaurant. Figure it out.

Where is it? Boo Chichi's. You're going. And you're bringing Matt Bologna with you. All right, from Jen X, born in 1973. They are a fan of and one time had an original Cabbage Patch Kid Wow This is Colleen in Generation Wars

Good morning, Colleen Good morning Morning Do you remember the name of that Cabbage Patch doll you had? Of course, Marsha Elizabeth Was that what the name was in the box or you got the name at that? No, it was the name in the box She had blonde hair and a tooth sticking down

Oh, nice I think I still have her Did they have stories, too, like American Girl dolls, or no? I think because the Cabbage Patch Kids, I believe you were adopting them. That was the whole idea. Ah, they were orphans? I think they were. I don't really know the back.

What was the origin story of that Cabbage Patch Kid? Was it, like, left at a firehouse, or what was the deal? I don't know. I think just growing up in the Valley Smog. Yeah, okay. That sounds about right. Toilet Baby? Toilet Prom Baby.

We go to a question. That's a great. Write down on my list of ideas. I want to do a line of dolls called Prom Babies. Vanessa It'll be like the modern day Cabbage Patch Kids They'll all have backstories Write it down Vanessa

Write it down and put it on my desk Just write it next to my Morrissey I almost saw a Morrissey t-shirt idea Alright moving on This is a representation From the millennial Born in 1985 They love Dawson's Creek and Mariah Carey

And they're not ashamed to admit it This is Chrissy on KROQ right now Good morning Chrissy Hi, woo, Team Pacey. That's right, whatever she said. You know, it's funny because, Allie, we've done an Oops All Boomers edition of Generation Wars. We've done an Oops All Gentlemen, and now we have an Oops All Ladies Generation Wars. We did Oops All Ladies last week, didn't we?

Oh, Lindsay from Gen Z from 1997 is a big fan of Charlie XCX. And who is Charlie XCX, Leonora? Yeah, Charlie XCX Singer. All right, I'll accept that. I actually don't know if that's true. Let's go to your first question, guys. These questions are going to span all generations, so you'll all have things you should be experts at.

But if you know the answer, you must yell out your generation first, wait for Allie to call on you, and then you can answer. At the end, someone's going to win tickets to Matt Rife, bragging rights for their generation. Here we go, question number one. What was the name of the nerdy kid in the show Saved by the Bell? Millennial. Millennial, go ahead.

Screech. That is correct. We move on to question number two. What fitness device was backed by Suzanne Somers? X. X. I heard you first, X. The Psymaster.

That is correct. And we move on to your third question in Generation Wars. Kit Kitteridge. Hold on. Let me try this one again. Kit Kitteridge and Felicity Merman are names of what? Gen X. Gen Z, sorry.

Okay, Gen Z. American Dolls? Yes, that is correct, Gen Z. American Girl Dolls. Please yell out the correct generation you're representing, or we will all be confused by that. Right now we have a three-way tie between Gen Z. This is very hot, an all-lady tie right now.

And we go to question number four. Who was Kendrick dissing in his song Not Like Us? Gen Z, I heard you first. Drake. That is correct. Drake. Moving on, your next question in Generation Wars. What is the question that they would ask at the end of every Klondike bar commercial?

X. X, I heard you first. What would you do for a Klondike bar? That is the correct question. And we move on in Generation Wars. Alice, quick score update. Already getting heated. Gen Z and Gen X are tied with two points.

Then Millennials got one point. Boomers still not on the board yet. When Tom Cruise went crazy And started jumping up and down on Oprah's couch Who was he declaring his love for? Oh yeah, oh yeah X, X, X Boomer

I'm going to go with Millennial Because X just went in before the question was even asked Millennial, go ahead Yeah It was Katie Holmes That is correct He went crazy to say I'm not gay, I'm not gay

I love Katie Holmes I love her, I love it, I love it We go to your next question Everyone's tied in wars. Wow, it's all tied up. What internet trend involves whispering, tapping, chewing slowly to help someone try to relax?

Millennial. Millennial. Oh, crap. I don't know. Never mind. Gen Z. Asmr. Asmr is correct. Boomer, what did you think the answer was?

ASMR. I knew it. Alright, move on to your next question. God damn it. I like the anger. What job did Laura Croft have? Gen Z Boomer Tomb Raider

She was a Tomb Raider That is absolutely correct I would have accepted other answers as well there But we move on What other answers would you have accepted other than Tomb Raider? Probably Hot Hot girl

Just hot British hot boobs Only fans I assume Moving on to your next question It's Generation Wars This candy M&M's claims that it used to melt in your mouth and not wear?

Millennial. Gen X. Oh, my God. Millennial. Gen X. Not in your hand. Not in your hand. Not in your hand.

Not in your hand. Allie's calling this correctly. It's split seconds here. We're splitting hairs, but she is getting a little early. We move on now to this next question in Generation Wars. Am I not being heard? Loud and clear. Can they not hear me?

Hello? Well, me too. I'm serious. I've been saying boomer. I know, but you're saying it later than everybody else. Hey, let's give her a chance here. Come on. Which emoji signifies slay, confidence, or sass?

Gen Z. Gen Z. The finger painting nails? That is the correct answer. Finger painting nails. What an answer. I hate that. All right, so Gen Z is in the lead with five points,

followed by Millennial Chrissy with three points. Then Colleen's got two. Only a few questions left. And Boomer, what's going on? You don't know the answers, huh? I'm saying, and I guess I'm just saying it too slow. I've said four times I've answered the correct answer, but it's okay. We move on to this next question.

Four times, man. Yeah, I did. Four times. Which margarine brand famously used the slogan... You got this, Leonora. It's not nice to fool Mother Nature. Jen Hicks. Fleishmans.

Fleishmans. Oh, that was the early one, though. Sorry, Ben. You didn't even chime in. You just started rambling. I believe Jen Hicks got in first. Jen Hicks? I can't believe it's not butter.

No. No, good guess, but wrong. Anyone? Millennial? Is it parquet? Not parquet. Well, that's a good guess as well. I forgot how many...

Man, we are a fat-ass country. I forgot how many types of margarines we had to pick from. You know how the amount of things that have protein now? Back then, it was... It was all margarine. Yeah, it was all... It was past the Crisco. That's not Crisco.

That's parquet. And it was like butter with yogurt. Butter with... And parquet would talk to you. They had that little thing. Yes. Parquet. Parquet.

All right. Well, anyway, the correct answer is... I didn't even know this was a brand, but I bet you Boomer knows what it is. Chiffon or Chiffon Margarine? Chiffon? I have no idea. Well, apparently that was around. All right, moving on.

No one gets that right. This is going to be a sweet spot for the Boomer as well. It just happens to be this way. We have three questions left. Larry, Curly, and Moe are better known as who? Gen X. Wow, I heard Gen X first. The Three Stooges.

That is the correct answer. Where were you on that one, Boomer? I said Boomer right at the end of the session. I'm tripping. I said the juice. Oh, my God. Okay, yeah, whatever. Next question.

This drink had little floating edible gum pieces in them, channeling like a lava lamp look, and people could drink it with these little floating orbs inside of what drink? Fancy? Fancy. Is it like aloe boba? You know, it's funny because for Gen Z, boba is kind of the answer I will accept. I know, I thought that's what you were talking about.

I will accept that as the right answer. The drink that used to be in the bottles was called Orbitz, if you remember. Oh, my God, yeah. That was a Gen X argued... But the modern day would be boba. Would be boba. Yeah. People love drinking little balls.

And we only have two questions left, Allie. Yeah, Gen Z is in the lead with six points. Wow. Yeah. Oh, come on. And Boomer has yet to answer. I guess she doesn't know the answers. Very upset.

Who is known as the king of the twist? X. X, go ahead. Chubby Checker? That is correct. Boomer, what happened on that one? Okay, I'm saying Boomer, dear. Okay, I'm saying Boomer as fast as I friggin' can.

I don't know what's up. They're quicker than I am. I don't know what you're saying. You guys are, like, really being weird with me because I am trying. I know. You guys are being weird. We go to this next question. Next question, guys.

Mork and who? Oh, my God. Allie, just give her the goddamn point. Boomer, you were first. Go ahead. Mork and Sherry. Oh, my God. All right.

Take stock of your life for just a moment and understand that we've all done some things that we're not proud of. We call these shameful moments, deepest, darkest, most shameful moments, things that happen perhaps while drunk or while high or just while sober. And, you know, maybe you know about them. Maybe a few close friends know. You don't necessarily want the general public to know. Definitely not stuff you'd ever bring up on a first date for sure. You can be totally anonymous and we won't judge. And we take all of these moments that happen to us, write them down, put them in this box.

And that's why we've shared with you so many things that we regret ever talking about on the Airwaves of K-Rock. We call this the box of shame. the box what's in the box of shame every once in a while shame we give you the chance

to enter the box of shame and we don't know you but you're more than welcome to be anonymous but we'd love to hear from you at 800-520-1067 and you tell us something that you did

and you know it's a safe place technically because we all are willing to share way too much yeah like when I pleasured myself on the 101 on the way home

one day I decided I should not share this with anybody ever and never tell a soul. But then when the Box of Shame rolls around, we have to add those things into the box. And now that's something that I'm kind of proud of. Yeah, when I decided to spend a summer following the Counting Crows around the country. You did not follow them. I was a crow head. I said, I'm never going to tell anyone about this.

Woo, crow bros! Eventually it came up in the Box of Shame, and I will be seeing them this summer at the Hollywood Bowl. Yeah, baby. Didn't you see them at the Troubadour? I did. I will not. I actually have no plans. You've got to see them when it's intimate, man.

You can really connect with them in a new way. The crows don't come around often, but when they do, you better go count some crows. That's what I say. Let's say hi to Zoe. Welcome to the Interactive Box of Shame. We will judge, but also not judge at the same time. Go ahead. Zoe.

Oh, is that your anonymous name? Sorry. Anonymous. Let me forget that. Forget Zoe. Forget I said that. Anonymous. you're on the box of shame hi hi i'm i was told i wasn't allowed to smoke in my apartment and i

smoked in the bathroom yesterday because i didn't want to go to my car how often do you smoke in the non-smoking apartment yesterday was the first time i've been here since january yeah but you're are you smoking weed yeah i was so after i came to my living room i was like oh my god you know when And they say no smoking at places, like a rental car. They always say that. I assume they're talking about cigarettes. It feels like even though they probably are talking about weed, too. Yeah, but the weed smell goes away.

Cigarette smell stays. Like, it lingers. It gets sucked into the drapes and the carpet and everything. But I'm saying, like, I would have no... If someone smoked crack or smoked meat or something... Like, hey, put down the crack pipe, man. It says no smoking in here. I wouldn't care.

I think cigarettes are the ones that bother hotels the most. I'm pretty sure you could smoke crack in a non-smoking hotel room and you'd be fine. But if you smoke a cigarette in there, you're probably not getting your, you know, they're probably holding your deposit. Yeah, exactly. That's what it's for. I think that smoking weed, especially in California, it's so embraced. Talking about your deepest, darkest, most shameful moments. Let me say hi to Jesse.

You're on KROQ from the 909. Oh, sorry. Anonymous. Once again, it's my fault. Wow, you suck at this. Anonymous from the 909. Hi. Actually, let's not say 909.

That'll narrow it down. let's just say jesse from some area code go ahead jesse no worries yeah so um yeah something i still kind of you know think about the fact that i did it a while but co-worker of mine she uh was uh you know sexually deprived from her her part and i baked a fresh batch of cookies and she was like yo i want like i want special frosting on my cookie and she like wink wink and i was like you want me to like finish on the cookie for you and she was like yeah so i uh i live two blocks away so i took a couple cookies home and i you know pleasure myself and frosted her cookies and we send them in a little box and she

developed them she asked for this she she said she wanted you to do this she she's a freak clearly And I, being a degenerate, I was like, yeah, let's go for it, you know. So, yeah, pretty. What type of cookies did you defile? You made the fresh cookies or you store bought? I made them fresh from scratch, chocolate chip, you know. And she wanted a glazed chocolate chip cookie. No, we got it.

You don't need to do more analogies. We understand what you did to the cookies. A sugar cookie would probably be a better thing to glaze in that way. Yeah, it feels like a chocolate chip cookie. You're really ruining a chocolate chip cookie. It's amazing to me that she... I mean, milk and cookies. Yeah, good point, Omar.

Thank you. Another one. She kind of brought this up and said, I wish there was some sort of natural frosting. And you picked up on that and said, would you like me to jizzle these cookies? And this is all in the workplace? No, she said she lives near him.

She lives near him. Oh, I see. This is just a neighbor? And you think this was for her to eat, or you think she was trying to get revenge on her husband, like cheating husband? Holly, she ate some of these load cookies. No, she definitely ate them in front of me.

She ate them in front of you? Wow. Clearly we're getting the details mixed up here. Huh. So you watched her eat the cookies that you had just finished on? 100%. And did you enjoy watching that? In a sick, twisted way, I definitely did.

Wow. Did you call it a boo cookie? That should be... Boo, that's true. That's her name. Uh-huh. Well, why don't you offer to do it again and call it a boo cookie? Tell her, how many years ago did you do this?

Two years ago? Call her up and say, I just thought of what I should have called that. It would have been hilarious if you had called it a boo cookie. A boo cookie. Missed opportunity. All right, moving on. It's the Box of Shame. Oh, sorry.

Or are you finishing on another set of cookies? That's him making cookies right now. Hey, Al, you're on KROQ. Welcome to the interactive Box of Shame. What's up? Oh, yeah. I was delivery driving for a marijuana company, and it was the day before I quit, so I decided to drop some LSD while...

Oh, man. While driving? Absolutely. Absolutely? How are you driving on LSD? That seems very dangerous. You know, I have been a professional driver for many, many years, so I just... That was a zero-s given kind of day.

Wow. And that's why it is so shameful. Like, I was just down, and I was like, you know what? I need to pick myself up. How many hits? And that's how I did it. All right. Well, thank you for being honest with us.

That person took acid while delivering. I would lose my mind if I was operating a vehicle on LSD. The fact that people can do that kind of stuff is mind-boggling. It is the interactive box of shame, and you can share any stories you want. Jose on KROQ. Good morning. hey good morning how are you doing fine is this your real name or fake fake name or real name so no i'm not giving you my real name okay all right fake jose go ahead

yeah i've been kind of friendly flirting with my wife's best friend for the last five years and recently i told her i have feelings for her and she said the same thing so i'm just hoping she doesn't tell my wife when they go out and get drunk together so the cheating might happen it hasn't happened yet uh well we talked about three days ago uh and that's when she said she felt the same and now i'm just worried that she'll tell my wife when they go out and get drunk this is your wife just get drunk enough and then she says something your wife's uh best friend yeah they've been best friends for about 15 years you gotta step out of that i know it sounds tempting and all i'm sure she's hot and it's different and new but that is that that's like

a psychological thing for not only for your wife on you but with that friend thing it's one thing I mean I'm not saying it's any better

but you know a husband wife cheats with a stranger that sucks in and of itself but when you lose the best friend in the mix too

that's oh my god it feels such a betrayal that's a double betrayal I don't know Jose that's tough but it's good at least that he's not thinking

about taking to the next step yeah Omar that's right yeah I mean no one loves strange more than me but still

when this other man was asked to boo cookie he did it yeah he was brave hey jose any chance you can just make a batch of cookies and get the uh aggression out if you know what i'm saying oh yeah okay all right is everyone doing this