Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - FULL SHOW 9-14!!!

Episode Date: September 14, 2026

In today's show Klein gets hustled at a Honey Baked Ham, we see when the last time a Magic: The Gathering nerd got laid, hear about your biggest relationship gaps, review our forced fandom and do a round of Johnny Doesn't Know

We'll get into an episode of Klein Alley Show in just a moment, but in the meantime, let's tell you about our absolute favorite place on the planet. Yep, that would be San Bernardino International Airport, where you can go through the airport process without waiting in long lines and overpaying for parking. Quick connections to the Bay Area and the world, plus ski and snowboard in Provo from San Bernardino all winter long. Every other airport, you're going to be in long TSA lines, you're going to be miserable, you're going to say, oh, I got to get there two, three hours before my flight.

Not at San Bernardino International Airport. And now we send you on a direct flight into our podcast, which starts right now. Hey, what's going on, Clown and Allie? Are you ready? I love Clown and Allie, you little bitch. Clown and Allie, it's just okay. Just don't let Frank's body into that. Good morning, everybody.

Hey, what up, Clown and Allie? Whoa, sweet deviled steak, did you see that? We have a Clown and Allie show. Let's get the show started. The show started. The show started. We are live in Los Angeles. Three, two, one.

And here we go. I have diarrhea. I need a good reason to get out of bed. Got sleep in my eyes, clouds in my head. I need a shot of something to make my motor go. Excuse me, I'm racist. I'm a sexist. I just feel sad and a little bit horny.

You gotta get Moe Drangles. I had sex with lots of guys. It's Klein Alley Show. Low 6.7. KROQ FM and HD Pasadena. Los Angeles. Orange County. The Sonic Pulse of Los Angeles.

This is the world famous K-Rock. Hell yeah. Welcome to Monday morning here on K-Rock. We are Klein Alley Show. Klein is here. Alley is not because apparently her friends are just as cheap as she is. and she got invited to a Sunday afternoon wedding in Chicago. And I believe this was the exact wedding that they asked her

if she was cool with her kid sitting on her lap so they wouldn't have to buy an extra chair at the wedding. And I get it. Weddings are expensive and pricey. But start doing things to cut corners. Next thing you know, you've got friends having to attend a Sunday afternoon or Sunday evening wedding, excuse me, on a football Sunday. First football Sunday, you get hit with that.

I'm going to tell you right now, any husband that was invited to that thing Thought he had the day to sit on the couch and watch football, and all of a sudden they're like, a wedding on Sunday afternoon? You've got to be kidding me. Well, anyway, she's there, but she's traveling back today, so she'll be here again tomorrow. And we've got a decent show planned for you without Allie. But you won't even notice she's not here because throughout the show today,

if you're missing Allie or having some withdrawals, I'm sure Omar, he has 5,000 Allie drops. Most of them are racist or sexist, but he can play them whenever he damn well pleases. The woman's true hopes and dreams are staying in the kitchen and making babies. You said it, girl. Right? I'm not going to fight that.

Put that on a T-shirt. We're here today for you, and if you need us, phones are 800-520-1067. There's a GOAT line. People leave messages over the weekend, 844-956-GOAT. Yo, long time slogger, but I just got one thing to say. That's right, sir. You said it well, and you can always use the GOAT line to vent about anything that's going on. I will give Allie her flowers, though, because as mentioned in the week one of NFL action,

a lot of people didn't think this would happen. And, of course, when you get a reverse mush as powerful as the one that she brings, then the Cardinals obviously are going to win a game against the Chargers here. And I had a feeling just because it's felt like ever since Justin Herbert got engaged to that Madison Beer girl, It's very attractive, but it seems like she was dominating all headlines for the past few weeks, every training camp. Rightfully so. Rightfully so.

You're right. The camera guys and everybody, the directors, they're doing the Lord's work over there. There's a few plays of the game yesterday that weren't even on TV because they just zoomed in on whatever dress she was wearing. It was remarkable, but I was thinking to myself, there's no way that's not a giant distraction for him and for the team, and she seems like a real look-at-me girl anyway.

So it was kind of, it was a real look at me. So as a result of that, I thought to myself, it would be the craziest thing if that happened. But also I could understand why, because all focus has been on this girl that he's engaged to as opposed to what's happening on the field. I don't think I saw one training camp that she wasn't running around gallivanting on the sidelines.

Meanwhile, he should have been focused on winning games. But of course, when Allie randomly out of the 32 teams picked the Arizona Cardinals to be her team this season, and we knew this would happen. Hey, guys, I haven't watched football in a long time, but I started watching football just because you guys picked your teams. I'm watching the Cardinals' Chargers game. Allie, the Allinator, Allie-licious, Allerino.

That's what I'm talking about, girl. You're going to win the whole thing, Super Bowl. Hey, the girl, Allie. It's a strong-ass reverse mush, man, incredible stuff. So we'll get into all things that happened. Jake's supporting his Green Bay Packers at a Packers bar. I had a strange interaction with some Baltimore Ravens fans. Omar went out and watched football for the first time ever, I think.

We'll get to all of it later this morning on KROQ. K-Rock, we are a Klein Alley show. If you want some of Alley's money, don't worry. She's not here. We still have her money. And you wouldn't even notice she's not here because we have her all propped up sitting in her chair, as you would expect if you're watching along on YouTube right now. Ah, the best picture ever, yeah.

Best picture ever taken. So you're watching right now. You're probably fooled. You think that there she is, live and in the flesh. But we still have her money to give you, and it would be nothing. Nothing would make us happier than to put a little IOU post-it note. Who's going to play in her place? So it's a pick your poison Monday, which means you get through at 800-520-1067.

You can decide who on the show you would like to battle. Keep in mind, if you beat that person, Allie will be forced to give you 100 bucks of her money. You could take on Vanessa or Johnny or Jake the Nerd. He calls himself the Ace. He says he's never lost. But once again, even when he does lose, he doesn't admit defeat. So in his mind, he's never lost. You could take on Omar.

Anyway, the choice will be yours if you call us now at 800-520-1067. Five questions about the news and do better than any of us and win Ali's money. We've got that to get to today. Also, not bad, but we have access for you to go to not the next one, not the next two, not the next three, but the next four shows happening right here at the In-N-Out Burger Sound Space in K-Rock, which means multiple times this morning we will get you in to not one, not two, not three, but four shows. You will be here for the Dexter and the Moon Rock show happening on September 22nd. Fontaines, D.C. on September

28th, The Beaches on October 19th, and The Paradox on October 23rd. So understand, when you win today, you'll be getting access to the next four shows, plus that means you'll be eating In-N-Out hamburgers at the next four shows as well. So we are giving away quite a prize

pack later on this morning, multiple times your chance to win, and if you're interested in eating, Tenderfest is coming back this weekend to Los Angeles on Saturday, and I know that you guys made fun of me for that whole tendy situation conversation at the airport where I tried to turn a three-tendy into a four-tendy situation.

Well, lo and behold, we have tickets to get you in VIP to Tenderfest. We'll be giving those away this week as well, so you'll be eating plenty. And even though the festival at the beach was canceled with the killers, I have a feeling that Tenderfest will not be, so you have that to look forward to. And you'll be hosting this event? Something got changed about it because apparently I got urkeled.

I don't want to get into it. I got urkeled? That's not even me. I was supposed to do something that I've done previously for them, and then I found out that my job has been replaced by the guy who played Steve Urkel. Are you sure it's not Stefan that replaced him? Oh, Stefan Urkel? Because he's much cooler, yeah.

Yeah, the cool guy. Yeah. Now, Jaleel White, who was the actor who played Steve Urkel, was listed as the guy who's going to host the contender competition, which I've done previously. I don't know. The guy's going to come on. Vanessa, try to get the guy on who put on Tenderfest.

I don't want to deal with Urkel directly right now I don't even think we could if we wanted to he's got a lot of people but if we could get the guy on I want to figure out if I got Urkel'd or not because it feels like I got Urkel'd and then I got moved further down now so I think I'm still doing something

but I don't know what I'm doing because the only thing there is to do there is to host the thing that Urkel's doing so I got Urkel'd so it sucks well you get to eat all the tendies no I don't think I get that either Urkel's going to do that now too

Oh, man. So, anyway, it's unbelievable. I mean, if you think about it, Urkel also, that show Family Matters was supposed to be about the family on Family Matters. And then Steve Urkel came in and became the star of the show. He Urkeled that whole family. Carl Winslow, hardworking police officer, he got Urkeled as well. They all got Urkeled. I love that show, by the way.

I used to watch that all the time. I've been Urkeled, man. We'll get back in a moment. We've got Ali's money if you want it. Call and claim at 800-520-1067. Whose house? Rob's house. And your chance to win.

It's just testing. It's just making sure. It's just paying attention. Are you devastated, Vanessa? Are you devastated that your team lost? She's heartbroken. Yeah. He was, you know, he was our chance to win, but he has to get the surgery, so I don't

know. Miles, sending you vibes, bro. We will be back in a moment with Ali's money and you on the phones at 800-520-1067. That is the name. Five questions, $100. Usually, you'd be battling that pregnant lesbian over there, but that pregnant lesbian over there is all the way at a wedding in Chicago, so she'll be back

tomorrow. In the meantime, you get to battle anyone else on the show you'd like to take on, and the goal is you beat the person, so I assume whichever person you bring to the table is the person you think is the most beatable. So we say to Kevin in Covina, who do you believe is the most beatable on the show? Vanessa.

Ah, Vanessa. All right. Well, in that case, you'll be going toe-to-toe against Vanessa. Make sure she is sequestered and does not hear these questions. You get to go first. We'll score together at the end if you're listening along. Let's see how you would have done, and you're more than welcome to call back and play tomorrow around this very time

as we like to give away money. It's Allie's money, so it doesn't really bother us at all, but we'd love you to take her money. Thousands of dollars have been paid out to people just like you at this time every morning here on KROQ. And now it's Kevin's turn to shine. Here we go. Allie knows the news.

Move over. Spider-Man, we have a new king of the box office, or should I say queens of the box office, brought in $30 million on their debut weekend. Which movie is it? It is... Need an answer. Three.

Two. Spider-Man 4. Another Spider-Man. That's a good idea. Smart guess. Got a question for two. 70% of what type of specific advice that is given out on TikTok and Instagram

is misleading at best? Quick cheat meals. Quick cheat meals. We go to question number three. Dozens of people riding what were detained on the Sixth Street Bridge, which is the official bridge of all things mayhem. What were they riding? Those fools were on minibikes, man.

Minibikes. Fools love minibikes. We go to question number four. The owner of what NBA team has finally accepted the NBA's punishment and said that he has sincere regrets which NBA team owner is finally accepting the punishment that has been handed to him? Shoot.

I don't know. Mickey Mouse. Mickey Mouse. And finally, we go to question number five. Reports this morning that the cause of death have officially been declared in the death of Hayden Panettiere. What is the cause of death that is making the news this morning? 24 hour Viagra

24 hour Viagra alright let's hope not let's bring in Vanessa she has not been listening to anything that just happened when you know the answers you sound smart but when you don't you go for a guess things fall apart quickly

Ali's money's up for grabs Vanessa is the only one on the show that probably wouldn't throw this I think the rest of us would have thrown the game so Ali would have been forced to pay you when she returned but Vanessa you're going to play this game honestly right Yes. All right. She's in the K-Rock studios now.

Who's house? Rob's house. Here we go. Question number one. Move over, Spider-Man. There's a new king of the box office, or should I say queens of the box office, bringing in $30 million on their debut weekend. Practical Magic 2. Ah, that is the correct answer.

Did you go see that? I know you were excited. No, but I am going to see it on Tuesday, and I have an outfit. Practical Magic 2. You have an outfit? Well, Practical Magic came out, I want to say, I don't know, 30 years ago, 25 years ago. It was a long time ago, but they got all the, you know, Sandra Bullock and what's-her-face, the woman who's trapped in the movie theater.

Yeah, they're all in it together. So, Ali, Vanessa gets the point, goes up 1-0 early as we go to question number two. 70% of what type of specific advice that is given out on TikTok and Instagram is misleading at best, according to new research? What type of advice? Probably medical. Medical advice. I think the number could be higher.

I'm going to give the point actually to Kevin on this one because he said cheat meals, but specifically it's diet advice. 70% of all diet advice that is given out, according to experts, is misleading at best and sometimes far worse. Kevin, you get the point. Tie things up, one-one, as we go to question number three. Dozens of people riding what were detained on the 6th Street Bridge? Mini bikes. He said mini bikes as well. That is the correct answer.

The minibike gangs are somehow hilarious, but also... Annoying. Annoying, yes, but there's something intimidating about them, but not really if you were to look at them side by side against like a... A little small bike. Yeah, they're on these tiny little bikes. But if you remember, they kicked Ian Ziering's ass on those little bikes. And there was something about that that was funny.

But then they get on their little bikes and ride off. It's like swarms. We go to question number four, and Vanessa is tied up right now. Wow, I didn't realize you even have a shot, Kevin, but you do. With two questions left, the owner of what NBA team has a fish? Oh, Vanessa's already tapped out on this one. NBA? This is big news.

Has finally accepted the punishment that was given to him by the NBA, and he said that he has sincere regrets about it. But the owner of what team? Okay, say a team name, Clippers? Was that a guess? Yeah. Unbelievable. Yes.

Steve Ballmer has finally accepted the punishment of the NBA, and that is the correct answer. the L.A. Clippers. So now, with a guess, Vanessa goes to this final question. Up one. Cause of death reports this morning for Hayden Penetieri

are starting to hit the news. What do they believe the cause of death was? Fentanyl. Sad. One pill that they say that was potentially laced with fentanyl is what they believe was what happened. And, Vanessa, you have won this round of Allie Knows the News.

That's right. And what must you shamefully admit, Kevin, over K-Rock? Go ahead. Vanessa knows the news. Sorry, buddy. That goes your $100. Unbelievable.

Well, tomorrow morning, you'll have a better chance of winning against Allie because she'll be back and she'll be all sleep-deprived and jet-lagged and everything else, I'm sure. So tomorrow morning, back at it again around the same time. We'll get into it. Much more to get to after your somber. If you need us, phones, text line, everything open right now, 800-520-1067.

Monday morning on KROQ. We don't do celebrity birthdays on this radio show. I know a lot of shows do that, but today is a bit of a show celebrity birthday. Bruiser, my little Bruiser, has now become eight years old today, and she's given us so many wonderful quotes on the show. You f***ing bitch. It is it. She's like a f***ing bitch.

Thank you. Talking about you. That's bedtime in my house. Say, big day tomorrow, go to sleep. And she tells me, shut the F up. But my favorite of all of hers is when she called Allie the F word. I love that. Allie is the F word.

Because we're all thinking it, so thank you for saying it, Bruiser. This weekend, I was out, and I rarely listen to the news on this show because even though I believe it is authentically accurate, I still don't believe that it would happen in real life. And when Allie reported a few weeks back that Stanley from the show The Office was opening up a honey-baked ham store in Sherman Oaks, I kind of, like most things that she says, I instantly forget about it. And then this weekend, I was driving, and I was sitting at some traffic.

There was some terrible accident in Encino. Like, they were shut down. Ventura Boulevard was, like, shut down, a giant chunk of it this weekend. So I was moving around and making moves, and I ended up at an intersection killing time in Sherman Oaks. And I look up, and I see a sign that says Honey Baked Ham. And all of a sudden, they hit me. I go, oh, yeah, it's the one that Stanley from The Office opened.

And I haven't been into a Honey Baked Ham in forever because I used to think all they had there was ham. That's what I thought, too. It's rare that I would ever be a... What else do they have? They have honey baked. I mean, the ability for me, not that I couldn't sit down and eat an entire ham. If I really tried, I think I could.

But the times of the year... Do you think you could eat an entire ham by yourself in one sitting? In your words. I think I could eat a honey baked ham because you can use that honey baked drip sauce to like lube up your throat. Sure. But they're still pretty... I mean, what are they, three pounds? I think you can decide how big they are.

They have different size hams. But I know that if I've ever gone to a place that hasn't, I'll park myself over by the honey-baked hams and go to town on it. But I didn't realize, you know, the amount of times in a year that I would ever, I mean, you're talking like Thanksgiving, maybe Christmas. I mean, you're talking major holidays. It's not like a typical Tuesday where you're like, today's a honey-baked ham day. But I drove by, I looked up, I see the sign, and I said, let's see what's going on in there. so I parked and I walked in and lo and behold, sitting right there

at the table, on his laptop crunching numbers, trying to figure out how to make the business profitable, is Stanley from The Office. He's just sitting right there I don't even know his real name he's got a real name, I know it's not Stanley but he's sitting there and I was kind of surprised

to be honest. His name is Stanley Oh it is in real life too? Stanley Hudson Oh good, no that's his character's name. Oh wait wait Oh, sorry, my bad, my bad, Leslie. Yeah, Leslie Baker. Leslie. So I figured, though, he doesn't want to be called Stanley,

but I don't know anything else to call him. So I walk in, and there he is, and he just kind of says, hey, welcome to Honey Baked Ham. And I'm like, oh, Stanley, what's up, dude? And he seemed annoyed by that, but he goes, hey. Was he a character? No, no. That would be great.

No, he's actually quite the opposite in real life. He's very pleasant, very smiley, and very happy. But at that point, I realized what I had done where I just went in there not to buy anything. I was just going to look and see what was going on in there. And then you went in there to just check out like what do you think was going to be going on? I didn't know the honey baked ham store. I know, but I have dude, I don't know if I've ever been into a actual honey baked ham store ever in my life. And I figured when Ali mentioned on the news, I can tell you right now off the top of my head, they're going to have hams.

Yeah, but, well, listen, this is what I thought as well. And I walk in. I go, he's there. And then he starts saying to me, hey, you ever been into one of these stores before? And I said, no. And he goes, well, you got to see, man. We got, you know, this was on Saturday, so football was on Sunday. He goes, we got all the things you could possibly want for football here.

We got ribs and we have. Ribs? Dude, they had, like, little sandwiches, mac and cheese, all this stuff. So, anyway, I wasn't going to buy anything. The point is I went in there to look. Then I realized. I was just going to hear to browse hams, which is a normal thing to say. Browse, smell some hams, shake them.

And like anyone else, you go into a store that's got no one else in there except the owner, you do feel instantly, at least I do, a little bit of pressure to make a purchase because I was not going to buy anything. My plan was buy nothing, and yet he kind of started doing the... Well, he has those puppy dog eyes. He's got the puppy dog eyes, and you start looking around, and the place is empty

and he's sitting there at his laptop. He's got some sort of a chart. You can tell he's doing what like a business owner would do where they're sitting there trying to crunch numbers and feel like, all right, man, if we sell this many hams, we can stay afloat another month. But like, it wasn't like

there was a lot of foot traffic in there. So all of a sudden I start going, I feel like I got to buy something here. And originally I said, I'm just going to take a menu and I'll bring it home and show the wife. Now my wife wants no part of honey baked ham. I knew this going in, but I said, I'll bring the menu home

and we'll see. And then he's like, yo, you can't leave empty-handed, man. You got to get something. So then I go... He said it too? Yeah.

He kind of started laying it on like, you don't want to leave here with nothing. So I said, all right, my kid likes mac and cheese. I'll buy one of the frozen mac and cheeses,

which is like a low, you know, it's like $10. Okay. And he goes, that's it? Oh, no. And I'm like, oh, God damn it. So then I go, all right.

He's like, you know, it's really good. Have you tried our ribs? And I'm like, I have not tried your ribs Because all I've ever had from you is ham And he goes, man, you've got to try the ribs So I'm like

Alright I'll take the mac and cheese and one rack of ribs Just one? Well So it's funny you say that So then I go to the register And there's a person at the register And she goes

You know we're running a current promotion Buy a rack, get a rack for half price A second rack It's a deal man You're losing money If you don't buy it So I say to her Very loudly

I'm good I'm good And then he goes Stanley goes Oh man No one's passed that up And so No one's bought ribs

In the first place So I go Alright Throw in the second rack So now I'm in Now I'm in for The mac and cheese And two racks of ribs

How much is that? Once again I have There's no prices on anything So I don't know The mac and cheese I knew That's the first thing

She scanned Ten dollars So I felt Okay, leaving there going, I supported a local business. I supported Stanley from the office. And then I start to pay, and he goes, have you seen our dessert selection? Oh, my God, he's a salesman. And I go, oh, man.

I go, yeah, I'm not really a pie guy. He goes, oh, man, pie? We got chocolate tortes, and we got lemon this, and we got a whole freezer full of desserts. And I said, dude, I think I'm tapped now. I got the two racks of ribs and, and, you know, and he goes, and we got these little sandwiches, uh, you know, you don't want to wait for these ribs to thaw. You're going to have to eat something. Then he almost like knew he's speaking my language.

Cause he's like, you don't want to eat anything while you're driving back. And I'm like, God, he knows I love driving and eating. So then they had these little sandwiches there too. Like little finger sandwiches in like a, like on the Hawaiian bread, the good look Hawaiian bread. So I was like, all right, well, what's, what's the best ones of these? He's like, I can't play my favorites. You should probably try them all.

Great. And I'm like, God damn it. You get a variety pack of finger sandwiches? I'm getting hustled by Stanley from the office now. And I think to myself, this guy played a paper salesman for years. And he must have picked up some of that ability because he's selling me. If you can sell paper, even as an actor, you better believe you can sell ham and ham-related products. So I end up leaving this place now.

And then they start ringing me up, ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching. And now I'm into the ham place. I was going to go in there just to look and get the menu. I'm in there for $96. before I get out of there. And then I say, and I wasn't going to ask for a picture because I feel like, you know, I'm not going to bother him. But at this point, I'm in for $96.

Yeah, you're going to go to a picture. So I say, hey, man, good luck. I'm happy you opened up a honey-baked ham store. You know, big fan of the office and everyone I work with at K-Rock is, you know. And I go, you mind if I get a quick picture? And he goes, all right. He's like, let's hold up some of the stuff you bought in the picture. And I go, oh, God damn it.

So now I just want to take a picture with him. Next thing I know, I'm like holding up, you know. You're like doing marketing for him. Yeah, I'm like holding two racks of ribs. But congratulations to Stanley for the off. Nice guy. Leslie is his name. Nice guy.

And now, so I'm going to bring, anyway, the good news is, Jake, tomorrow. Yeah. I thought it out overnight. I got, so tomorrow I'm going to bring it all in here. and we'll eat the ribs. Can I have a sandwich, too? Yeah, I got a lot of leftovers. I mean, I haven't tapped any of it yet,

so I've got it all. So that's exciting stuff. And I know that Johnny, I think... Johnny, are you the big fan of The Office? Is that you? Yeah, man, I can't believe Stanley's not selling pretzels. That's what he loved in the show.

Yeah, I think... I want to say he had... Listen, I didn't want to ask because there was a lot of stuff that I didn't buy, but I feel like anything I would have asked a question on, I would have gotten sold.

He would have tried to sell to me. But I don't know. You think... If you go to my back-to-back weekends, Magic Johnson randomly in the wild and Stanley from the office. I don't know if there's been a better back-to-back weekend of celebrity run-ins ever. I feel like it's all coming up Klein these days, which is incredible. And I got multiple racks of ribs in the freezer now, so we'll be bringing those in tomorrow. So, Jake, get ready for that.

We've got to take a quick break. Someone says the honey-baked ham sandwiches are amazing. Hold on. I didn't realize. I ran for a treat. All right. Well, I got suckered into all that stuff. Someone says they'll give me $100 if I can actually finish an entire honey-baked glazed ham bone-in.

How much does that weigh? Because they're different sizes. Give me an idea before I take on this challenge. An entire honey-baked ham bone-in. I can't eat the bone, but I can eat the spiral ham around it, I'm sure. And would I have an entire show to finish it, or would I have to do it? Yeah, an whole show. Give me an idea what that would weigh, Jake.

Any idea? I'm looking at it right now. It says here 10 pounds. No, not 10 pounds. That's the lightest one? Yeah. 10 pounds, but the bone has got to weigh 2 pounds of that. Okay, there's a bone in, there's a half.

Yeah, 3 to 10 pounds. 3 to 10 pounds? Yeah, you get a 3-1. You get a 3-pounder. There's no way you can do it. You don't think I could eat 3 pounds of ham? 3 pounds of ham, man? Is that with bone weight, or is bone separate?

Small, boneless ham, 3 pounds. I feel like I could do it. I feel like it's doable, too. You could do it, man. But I think a lot of people have probably said it's doable and haven't been able to do it. But it all comes down to that little sauce they put in. That's everything, that glaze stuff. You're going to get sick of it after half of it, for sure.

I don't know, man. I think if I wait just a little bit until the seasons start to feel like Thanksgiving, I can go ham on that ham. I can see that. All right, well, Vanessa, make a note of it. We're going to take a quick break. We're back in a second. We have ADD News to get to after this.

Then we have tickets if you want to go to not one, not two, not three, but all four shows upcoming in the In-N-Out Burger Sound Space at KROQ. We'll get you in after this. KROQ, Klein Alley Show. We will get into your ADD news. Then a brand-new hour of the show will officially begin. That's the hour we'll start giving you stuff. If you want to go to Tender Fest happening on Saturday,

unlimited tenders from all these places all over Southern California. We will get you in next hour and much more. But first, there's this, your news. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. The NFL season is here. The bars were packed, and that might be the best place to watch the game because a new study is saying that the cost of attending a game

rose over 72% over the last decade. Now the average cost to attend a game is $196 per person, which included a 16-ounce beer, a hot dog, and half a parking pass, which sounds cheap, especially for L.A., because I think it costs like $80 to park at SoFi. Listen to this. I didn't realize this was an option for yesterday. Too little, too late, but you talk about how expensive it's gotten to watch football.

Hey, I just noticed Allie's team, the Cardinals, are playing the Chargers today, Sunday, and she should be there. Tickets are as low as I found some tickets for $10, $25. I mean, that is so disrespectful. You could have gotten into that game for $10 yesterday to watch the Chargers, and I know the Chargers don't sell really well in this town, and obviously no one wanted to see Arizona. Who knew that the reverse motion would be so strong?

But if you think about that, a $12, a $10 ticket, good luck finding that most stadiums, I mean, I guess if the stadiums are the really crappy teams, I couldn't imagine you can get a Vegas Raiders ticket for cheap because everyone still wants to go to those games and go to Vegas. Yeah, I think the Vegas team is like, people from out of town just want to

go. They want to see who they're playing. Right, exactly. Oh, it's a good excuse to go to Vegas. Everyone's looking for an excuse to go to Vegas. Oh, it's great. We'll go there and watch my team play the Raiders. But I mean, it's remarkable. You talk about how expensive everything has gotten. It's not just going to the games, all the stuff around. I think

But the parking is probably, if you're going to look at how much inflation has hit, I think it's hit parking more than anything else. Yeah, I think it's so far, I think it's at least 80. I think parking, they've just gotten, they've lost their money. Those people with those flashy landing the airplane cones have just started making up prices at this point. It doesn't matter. And I've watched them do it, too. They just change the number whenever they damn well please. They go up, there's not a lot of spots left.

Go ahead and add another one there. It's just like, it makes no sense. It's crazy. Next story. All right. My dog goes with me everywhere because she's a special angel princess, bestest baby girl. But a new survey is showing where Americans draw the line on pets in public. The biggest no-goes were restaurants with 48% of people saying they'd be irritated to see a dog.

And grocery stores with 45% saying they don't want to see pets there either. The least were hotels and beaches at 18%. People that I know, because I have some friends that are not dog people, and they absolutely hate it when I have my dog with me anywhere. But you don't take it to a restaurant, do you? Unless there's, if there's outdoor seating, if it's like a restaurant that's got outdoor, you know, and it's like, and there's certain places that are dog friendly. Like they'll sit outside, they bring a bowl of water. Sometimes they even like bring a little treat to the dog.

It's a different thing. But a restaurant that's not a dog, that doesn't have outdoor. My wife brings our dog sometimes and she puts in a little doggy stroller that she has. What? You allow that? Super annoying. Do I allow it? I mean, I'm not, I don't control that woman.

You've, Omar, you've gone to a meal with her? and the dog in the stroller? Yeah, and most of the time they don't even notice. They think there's like a sleeping baby in the stroller. I thought your dog was bigger than that. No, no, no, no.

She's like, I don't know, she's like maybe 10 pounds or something. Oh, the way you talk about it, I thought it was like 50 pounds of hay. No, I thought the same thing. Really? Yeah, it's like you had a big dog that you hate. It's a small dog that I despise.

It's hard to hate a small dog in the same way. Yeah, you have like a big dog hate for a small dog, which is funny. I can't believe you're a stroller dog guy. I'm not, dude. Don't know. That's my wife, man. Should have saved that for Box of Shame.

That's unbelievable. Me and you are the same, Omar. Oh, no, I don't think so, man. Final story. You and Jake, little dog bros. Dog bros. All right, final story. Some food packaging secrets are better known than others.

Like a lot of people know, you can turn the tab of a soda can at 180 degrees to hold a straw in place. Or there's a sweet spot on Heinz bottles where you're supposed to hit it to get the ketchup out easier. There's a new hidden feature that's going viral. There's a cap lock on French's mustard bottles that helps keep the lid out of the way of the mustard stream. And mustard fans were shocked when they learned this. And I'm just a fan of anything that makes making a mustard sandwich easier. It's funny that Jake's doing the news today. He decided to bring us a bring your dog anywhere story followed by a mustard story.

This is important stuff. Yeah. So there's a lock you're saying if you're trying to shoot the mustard and you're so sick and tired of the stream of mustard being interfered with. If you've made a mustard sandwich, you know. Okay. For everyone out there that's enjoyed Jake's favorite food, which is the mustard sandwich, the sandwich where you can almost taste the meat, you want to make sure that you've got your cap locked. And that's news, Jake, or that's just a hobby?

This is most important news. The biggest news story of the weekend? Oh, yeah, huge. All right. Well, it's clearly a big story for the mustard community. We get into a brand-new hour of the show next. Forget everything you just heard. Things get good after this on KROQ.

This is the world-famous KROQ. Good morning. Welcome to your Monday. It is K-Rock, Klein Alley's show. Alley is at a cheap El Cheapo wedding situation, a Sunday afternoon or Sunday evening wedding, so she's not here today, but she'll be back tomorrow. At least we think.

She's greyhounding it from Chicago. We'll see if she makes it here. Want to save a couple of bucks on those pricey airline tickets, so she's going to do travel by bus. Sounds about right. It's very on brand for her. In the meantime, you've got me, Klein. You've got DJ Omar Khan there, the audio sniper.

You've got Jake Znerd in the back room taking them calls. Producer Vanessa, Postmaster Johnny And there he is, Ginger Justin Avoiding the sun and keeping us Streaming right now on YouTube Where you can watch the show or listen to it The choice is yours This hour, we've got some clickbait to get into

Also going to find out once and for all If I've been replaced by Urkel at Tenderfest We'll get you tickets to go there Eat all them chicken tenders This weekend, happening in Los Angeles You'll win your way in We also have access for you to go to the next four shows Happening right here at KROQ's In-N-Out Burger Soundspace

So be ready to win your way into those shows as well. As we mentioned, a very eventful weekend at my house. I had Bruiser's birthday. Today's her official birthday. So happy birthday to Bruiser. Bruiser is my young daughter. Happy birthday wheelchair. Thank you.

She will appreciate that, I'm sure. In honor of it being her eighth birthday, Omar has put together what he believes to be her eight biggest, most biggest contributions to the show. Yeah, they're great. They're incredibly insensitive and offensive, and I don't stand by any of these things, but these are eight things she has said, and so let's go ahead. Without any further ado, here is number eight.

Fat boy, because I have a fat stomach. Thank you for clarifying. Fat boy, which she called me, and the reason she called me fat boy, in case you're wondering, is because... Because I have a fat stomach. Because I have a fat stomach. Is that when you started working out? Did you get some sort of complex and you started working out your neck? Yeah, I think when a kid pushes you in the stomach like the Pillsbury Doughboy and says, fat boy, because you have a fat stomach, that's enough to motivate you. That was number eight.

And number seven. Allie is the F word. I don't know how that didn't make it higher on the list. She's just speaking the truth there, right? Allie is the F word is what we all say. And that should be her signature on her email, but it's not. It still says shenanigans, but it should be that. I don't know why she called Allie the F word, and I don't know which F word she was referring to.

Yeah, right. But regardless, she's right on all levels. We go to your next quote from Bruiser, who's eight today. Her top eight quotes. You f***ing bitch, idiot. Shut the f***ing bitch up. I don't know what she said that to me about. She sounds so scary when she's, like, threatening.

You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. She's just terrifying. I think that's when I said something like, it's time to do your homework. And I think that's what I got. So she's very aggressive. That was number six, I believe.

Number five. I like to smell you guys' penis. Technically that was her quoting our new dolls That I shouldn't have brought home So that one was not an original But it's funny to me that she, the younger one Was able to make a penis And the older one said peanuts

She still calls it peanuts She wanted to make it very clear That it was how I said it on the air I like to smell you guys' penis Thank you for that, that's a real problem Number four on the top eight quotes From the bruiser to celebrate her eighth birthday You stupid assholes.

Once again, quoting our dolls again. That's an Allie quote originally, but now she's figured out a way to use that a lot. And hold on, Green Day. We're so close to the end of the list. I guess we'll have to give you her top three quotes after this one from Green Day. And your clickbait will be next on KROQ. Let's wrap up this list. Everyone loves a good list.

Bruiser's eighth birthday. So everyone's celebrating some of the memorable quotes that Bruiser has given the show. She is officially the show bully, and sadly, she's my young daughter. She's supposed to be a little princess, but apparently that's not the case. So here we go, the top three bruiser quotes that we've been given the show. Move over, fat man, stupid man. You have the time. I was trying to teach her a valuable lesson about not doing drugs, and she said this.

I did. Every single day, and I said yes, and I had one today. That's when I told her not to have drugs, and she says she already had one today. And she likes drugs, and she's going to do them every day. You had a drug today? What drug? It was to smoke. To smoke.

To smoke. She had a drug to smoke. So it's really hard for me to try to give her lessons. She's also going to be in therapy soon. I would imagine, yeah. And by soon, if you mean Thursday this week, you're right, Homo. At number two, there is this quote. F*** it, f*** it, f*** it.

Hey. F*** it, shut up. do not curse it's not okay i'm kissed bro and uh clearly i have the power of this relationship that was uh the number two greatest quote ever and uh number one is really what started it all and it was a song that she delivered a few years ago when i was celebrating her graduation from kindergarten and i wanted her to sing the uh version called one tiny voice or something and And instead, she sang this to me. Penis Pasta, Penis Pasta, Penis Pasta, Penis Pasta.

There you have it. Penis Pasta, where it all began. That's when she got that taste of fame using that working blue. She's one of them comedians that only works blue, and she knows it pays off. Take a quick break. In a moment, we have clickbait to get to. What is the first thing you're supposed to do if you assume that the person that you are currently dating and or married to is having an affair? There is something you are supposed to do before anything else.

And it's very important you do this thing first or else you're going to mess up the whole catching them in the accent thing. And we got that information for you after this quick break on KROQ Clickbait and your tickets to Tenderfest next. Internet design, two reasons and two reasons only. Clickbait, Masterbait. We can only do one of them on the air. So here we go. Bait is a juicy one today. What is the answer?

Bait. Let's start with this. So what is the first thing that you are supposed to do if you think that your spouse is cheating on you, according to a therapist? This is very important now because if you suspect there is something going on, something afoot, maybe you have evidence or maybe it's just that feeling in your gut that something's going on. It is very important, according to this therapist, who has dealt with thousands of couples that have gone through something like this, that you do this first before anything else. Now, I would imagine you've got to key the car. That's the first thing you've got to do. That's a good one.

I'm not the therapist here. There is one right answer. So what is it? We will start with a man that his relationship plagued in many ways, Jake the Nerd. Oh, great. Yeah. I'm going to say maybe be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you want to even continue this relationship if it is true. Be honest with yourself.

Ask yourself a question like, if it's true, do I still want to be with this person? Or try to work it out? Being honest with yourself is terrible advice. That's very therapy-sty, though. I actually really like his answer. It does sound like some of that Jedi therapist stuff that they would say. Like, I just want a real answer. You're telling me to be honest with myself?

Give me something easier than that. All right, so Jake says be honest with yourself. Vanessa? Okay, I think you start saving their money. Save, save, save money so you can get out. You could be like, go ahead, cheat, but then you're going to turn into, like, indifferent and just live your life, save a bunch of money, and get out. So you're saying, like, create a secondary account, and you start...

Start preparing yourself to get out. Stockpiling. So you're not stuck in a relationship where you're financially dependent on the other person. Exactly. You don't say anything, and then once you're ready to leave, be like, all right, I know you've been shitting. It's okay. We don't have to talk.

I'm leaving. So how long are you... But based on your answer, you're saying that you'd have to save money for how long while this goes on? Three months. So you're going to be with somebody for three months while they're cheating on you? During that time, you're going to turn yourself into a daddy. You're going to be like, do your thing. I'm going to go to the gym.

I'm going to work on myself. I don't want to. But you're just going to be indifferent and super, like, fun. And they're going to be like, wait, what's happening? And you're like, nothing, buddy. Just start day trading in the living room. I'm doing my day trade. I'm in crypto now.

I've got all these screens up there, graphs. Don't worry about me. You keep doing what you're doing. All right, Vanessa says, stockpile. Save money so you can get out. That's interesting. All right, Omar, what do you think the answer is? Only one answer is right.

No one has gotten it yet, or perhaps they have. I think you have to call Joey Greco from Cheaters. Oh, that guy. Them and the crew are going to go down there, surveillance everything. He's dead, I think. Isn't he dead? Oh, he got stabbed in one episode when they were approaching somebody on a boat, but I think he lived through that.

I'm not sure if he's dead or not, but they still have new episodes of Cheaters. I'm not sure who the new host is, but Joey Greco is definitely the best. But I think that's how you encounter the other person, and then you kind of confront them at the end. So get them on to some sort of a show, a trail. Oh, yeah. I used to love that show. I used to watch it religiously.

All right, three possible answers. Only one of these answers. And he's still alive. He is, right. The first, 619 said the first thing you need to start doing is cheating back. That way, yeah. Cheating back. Oh, you're cheating.

I'm cheating back. And then you find out they weren't cheating. You're like, oh, man, I read this all wrong. You know, I'm cheating. No one's right here. I'm surprised about this. But according to this exciting edition of Clickbait, according to the therapist, the first thing you're supposed to do which seems such an aggressive step but they say you're supposed

to contact a lawyer before confronting your spouse you don't want to confront them before speaking to an attorney because they may destroy evidence or do something that you're not prepared for so you're the first call you make is to an attorney now i know in california it's a no-fault state i guess in certain places that would matter more where you go all right this person was the one that was unfaithful, so I'm entitled to a certain amount of money, or I don't know how it really works in other states, but here, I believe you can't really put fault on anyone. It doesn't matter. It's like the cheat and wild west here or something. Most people want answers directly from the person that they're with, but a lawyer is thinking about different sets of questions,

whether adultery has legal significance where you live, what evidence could be used, and whether So your attempts could be, you know, your attempts to cause trouble would be backfire on you. So according to this, you're supposed to contact an attorney. And I don't even know what type of attorney you would call for. Is that just like a sweet James guy or are there certain people? Is there a divorce attorney? A divorce lawyer. You call and you say, I think something's going on.

They give you a checklist of things to do next. Yeah, this sounds right to me. They're going to probably tell you, like, you know, check your bank accounts, make sure, you know, you account for, you know, all of your assets and stuff like that before the other person. maybe catches on to you that you suspect the other person and they start moving things around? I would imagine what happens is the person that thinks they're getting away with it is feeling like, oh, man, I've got this thing going on. No one knows what's up.

I've got this side piece. And then if you're behind the scenes now getting all your ducks in a row, getting your paperwork, getting receipts, everything, then you get to be the one that hits them with the ba-boom. And it's all about who gets to hit the other person with the ba-boom But what if they're not cheating? Well, that would be, then you could pretend it was a joke, I think. Like, ha, just kidding.

Happy anniversary. But I think it really comes down to if the relationship is going to end, who gets the last ha-boom? Right. Or what the surfers say, ka-pow. Wa-pah. Who gets the last wa-pah? That's how you win this thing.

Jake the Nerd, surprisingly, was at a Magic the Gathering tournament over the weekend. And he said that this went on all day. It was much more than just a tournament. We have one question and one question only. It is a game called When is the Last Time You Got Laid? And if you'd like to play it with us, you call now. We'll do that next at 800-520-1067.

That is happening after this on KROQ. KROQ, we are a Klein Alley show. In a moment, a chance to play a game. The prize up for grabs is tickets for you to head to Tenderfest, which is happening this weekend. If you like chicken tenders, you're going to want to go to Tenderfest. I got into a situation, about a 410D slash 310D situation. We will talk to the man who's putting on Tenderfest in a bit as well

and figure out if what I did was okay or unacceptable. Everyone around the show thought it was unacceptable. I think he would stand by what I did. And we'll figure out if I was replaced by Urkel on the main stage at Tenderfest. All that coming up in moments. But first, Jake, what the hell were you at this weekend? Because people want to play the game. When is the last time you got laid with someone that you met at a Magic the Gathering tournament?

It was a Magic the Gathering tournament in the daytime. It was also like an art fair. It was at, like, an art studio in, like, the art district of L.A., and then it was, like, a wrestling match later on that night with even Techno Destructo from GWAR was there wrestling. So it was a big, like, nerd fest. It was great. I made the mistake of clicking through his stories, and it was, like, a weird dream. It was bizarre, man. It was so bizarre just clicking through all this stuff.

Yeah, one of those, like, fever dreams where you can't quite figure out if you're hallucinating or reality sets in. It was nuts. And that's just a normal weekend. Did you see the part where he ran into Moist Joyce and she ate his leg or something? Yeah, that was bizarre. That was just directly to you guys. So how many people, Jake, are at this Magic the Gathering tournament? In the morning, I'm not sure because that started at 10 a.m.

I didn't get there until like 7 o'clock at night, but it was an all-day thing. And when I got there, there's hundreds of people there for the wrestling and the art show. Right, so Jake went up to one of these people and he asked him a few questions, but the real question that we care about is when is the last time you got laid. So that's what the game is called, and we say good morning to our first contestant, Mark in Encino. Good morning, Mark, and welcome to KROQ. Hi. Hey, guys. We're good. Listen closely to this man that Jake is going to introduce us to, and then we need your answer,

but we'll get a few different answers, and whoever's closest will win their way into Tenderfest. So here we go. It's a game called When Is The Last Time That You Got Laid from someone that Jake talked to at the Magic the Gathering tournament. Here we go. All right. What's your name? Eric. Eric from where? Pasadena. Eric, how long have you been playing Magic the Gathering?

About a year recently, but I got into it when I was a kid back in the 90s. Sure. What format do you play? Mostly commander, but I like to draft as well. I don't know what anything he said was. A commander is a format where you play with like four people at a table, and then draft is like when you open packs and make a deck out of the cards you open. And this guy says he used to play as a kid, which makes sense.

It's a kid's game, and then he's now playing again as an adult. And this is why when Jake gets all excited about the tournaments he wins, we ask him how old the kids were he beat. and a lot of them are, you know, teenagers. That's not true. Most of them are adults. So here is a little bit more about this guy before we ask him the question that matters.

When was the last time he got laid? What's your favorite color? Oh, that's a tough question. I'm going to get a lot of hate for this, but I like blue. Now, Jake, you're not asking what his favorite color in life is. Right, the favorite color of magic that he plays. So there's, like, you know, there's colors as blue, there's islands, there's black, there's a swamp,

there's green and forest. Why is blue frowned upon? I'm sorry? Why is blue frowned upon? Just because a lot of times people just hate playing, like, you have your spells countered, and this, you know, blue plays counter spells and counter magic, and it's just kind of a, I don't know.

I like to play like my balls, blue. Oh, okay, yeah, that's the right color. If you had to pick a second color, what would it be? What a terribly boring follow-up question. The guy just gave us, the first question was already boring enough, and then you felt the need to follow it up with, what is your second favorite color? No, please be clear.

To play with blue. Right. Black or... Honestly, I kind of like green as well. F***ing Demir all day. What? Demir what? Demir is when you play black and blue together. That's what it's called.

I'm starting to black and blue your face with these questions. Black and frog. My favorite card. Oh, what is your favorite card? I kind of like Displacer Kitten. Sorry? Displacer Kitten. Displacer Kitten? What is that?

Uh, it's a card that, like, flickers when you play a new creature, like, it bounces stuff. Does that make sense? Yes, of course. Everything you just said makes perfect sense to me. I have no... It flickers what when you do what? Like, sometimes when a creature enters the battlefield, like, it has certain effects, and then that creature lets you bounce those things and, you know, stack effects.

The force field for my genitals. That's the effect of this. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, uh... Okay. Yeah, that's a spell that it bounces. Sure. How much have you spent on Magic the Gathering?

undetermined, most likely over a couple thousand. How often do you play? Multiple times a week. Alright, he plays multiple times a week, he's spent a lot of money, he's been playing a lot, and now the question that matters most. When is the last time you got laid?

Mark, what is your guess? It's so difficult to hear through all the nerdery in the background there. There's a lot of nerdery. I'm going to guess about 15 months. 15 months. I'm going to lock you in on 15 months. Isaac, when is the last time that this guy got laid?

Jake is about to get the answer. I don't know, man. I'd say some people would be surprised. I'd say two weeks ago. All right, he says two weeks. And Chris, we give you the final guess here. When is the last time this guy got laid? I got to guess about eight months or so.

All right, so we've got 15 months, eight months, and a few weeks. It's the only question that matters, and this is the answer. When is the last time you got laid? a couple days ago yeah no way that's right man couple couple the way he even said it he sounded he was yeah listen yeah listen he's even convinced a couple days ago yeah a couple days that's what people say they get laid a couple days yeah all right well we got to give it to isaac then in anaheim he was the closest technically tenderfest we'll talk about next K-Rock, we are the Klein Alley Show.

Alley, no está aquí hoy, but I am here for you. And I'm always excited when we get new announcements, festival announcements. But I don't really care so much about the big ones like Coachella, etc. I know some people are excited about that. I get excited when there is food festivals and they announce the lineups. And boy, was I thrilled to see that Tenderfest was back. Big fan of a food festival all celebrating one of the finest food categories that ever was and ever will be, the chicken tender.

And now we have Tenderfest returning this weekend on Saturday. Tickets at tenderfest.com. But as I was looking over the list of all of the places that will be there, it's some of the greats like Dave's Hot Chicken and Pizzeria Mozza and Le Coop. And there's a bunch of opportunities to go there and eat pretty much unlimited chicken tenders. And if you're a child, you know chicken tenders are probably the greatest thing ever. But as a drunk adult, you realize that they're even better. It's one of the few foods that I think holds up when you like it as a kid

and then still figure out a way to like it even more as an adult. On to talk about it is the brains behind the operation, Lawrence Longo, food aficionado, the man responsible for the massive growth of other things like Prince Street Pizza and Irv's Burgers, et cetera. And I believe this was your brainchild, correct? Tenderfest a few years ago was like your field of dreams? Yeah, I co-created with John Terzian,

you know, the godfather of nightlife in L.A. Thanks for having me on, Kevin. Yeah, a couple questions, first of all. and let's start with the most important one. I got made fun of by everyone on the show because we were at a restaurant at LAX Airport, and they only offered three chicken tenders in the order. There was four of us at the table,

and I had suggested, I said to the waiter, is there any way we could turn this, my quote was, can we turn this into a four-tendee situation? And the waiter looked at me like I was crazy and said, no, I could order only two orders of the three. They couldn't just add another tender and charge us accordingly. Do you think that my question was that outlandish?

outlandish. Everyone here has made fun of me now for eight months about it. No, you should be able to order a tender a la carte. That's terrible hospitality. Thank you. Come to Tender Fest. All you can eat chicken tenders. Nobody will ever judge you on how many tenders you put in your basket. Also, I wanted to ask this question because originally and in the past, you know, this was the same event where Ali sang the national anthem a few years ago, flanked by chickens on both sides and you've asked me uh i think previously i got an opportunity to host the

contender battle which was a bunch of people competing to see who has the best chicken tender maybe the most important competition in the world and i thought i was doing that this year and then it appears that i've been replaced by steve urkel is that true uh yes yes you have jaleel white is taking over as the uh host of the contender cup but how did that how did that happen though But I'm being serious. Like, I understand he's a bigger name, I guess. But for me and my own ego to know that I lost out on my hosting job to Steve Urkel, it kind of – I understand why that would be a big get, like, in 96.

But I feel like now we're doing decent at K-Rock, and I got replaced by Urkel. It kind of hurt. Well, you know, he's got more followers than you. It's become more of a family-friendly event. So – but we still were able to make you – we have you all day long now. as the master of ceremonies, starting from 3 p.m. all the way till you'll be introducing Urkel. Yeah, but it feels like you created a fake position to help my ego. Not at all, not at all.

You were so good that we wanted to have you the whole day. So now I get to introduce Urkel instead of do the job Urkel got to do. Oh, yeah, and you get to lead every, we're going to have so many experiences and entertainment happening at Tenderfest all day long, and you get to introduce them all. Oh, great. I'm good with names on stage. I was looking at Nancy Silverton, Cat Cora. I'll practice these now.

But you have some of the greats will be there participating. It's much more than just chicken tenders. If you're trying to get your hands on that Henry's Secret ice cream, which is impossible to get because it sells out in 20 seconds, they're going to be there as well. And what else can people expect if they get the tickets before they sell out for Tenderfest? oh we've got all about the cinnamon we've got gone bananas bread company and wwe sensation

kathy kelly's bringing her cupcakes you know you get a lot of we've got ludo from petite in the contender competition um we'll be honoring honoring kim hollingsworth in the Chicken Tender Hall of Fame. Oh, hell yeah. We got Chameleon, Box Chicken, Lake Coop, Raising Cane, and all the way from New York City, Tender Crush. So if you're a fan of chicken tenders, and I know Johnny's so excited, he thinks this is the best event of the entire year because he's a guy that's his old,

he's never, a lot of people, they go chicken tenders when they're a kid, they kind of go into like normal foods again in the middle, and then they go back to tenders when they're drunk at a hotel late night. But Johnny has stayed the course on chicken tenders It is the cornerstone of his entire diet And I don't know if there's another food Lawrence, that you think is universally loved By children and adults as much as chicken tenders

My kids eat chicken tenders Seven days a week Yeah, I believe it I believe it Well, we're thrilled this is coming back And I appreciate you letting us give out some tickets And I know that And maybe we could

Could you help us book Urkel on our show as well? Is that possible? I think we should make it happen at Tenderfest. Tickets are selling out really quickly. Get Tenderfest.com. This is going to be the best food event in the century. All right, that's a big, bold claim right there. We will give away tickets all week, and I'll be there on Saturday to help introduce Oracle.

So I'm real thrilled about that. Yeah. It's all I ever wanted. It's the only reason I got into this job. All right, Lawrence, thank you for joining us. Thanks for letting us give out tickets, and we'll see you at Tenderfest. See you there. Tenderfest.com for details.

Back in a moment with your ADD news next on KROQ. Do some ADD news and we'll get into a brand new hour of the show. That's when we start giving you tickets and access four different times to four different bands and four different In-N-Out Burgers here at the In-N-Out Burger Sound Space at KROQ. So be ready to win your way into not one, not two, not three, but all four shows upcoming here at KROQ. This hour as we get into that after this on KROQ. Hold on. Nope.

Nope. Nope. Nope. GFM and HD Pasadena, Los Angeles, Orange County. The Sonic Pulse of Los Angeles. This is the world famous K-Rock. It's not supposed to play there. We're supposed to give Jake his intro for the news.

I think Vanessa wanted to keep us on time. Honestly, this works. This works for me. This doesn't work for me at all. All right, in that case, we'll get into a brand new hour of the show right now. And then we'll get to your ADD news in just a moment. Find out what's going on in the world. There is stuff you should probably know about as delivered by Jake the Nerd.

And we got some breaking mustard news last time he did this. So who knows what he'll have in store for you now. Of course, there's all sorts of messages waiting on the GOAT line over the weekend. A lot of people watching football along with us. Omar Khan. Hey, how are you? Hey, how are you? Hey, how are you?

Hey, how are you? A lot of those chants that we can't play on the air because they're incredibly offensive. But it's just team camaraderie now that Omar's a big fan. And I get it. I get it. There's also people that are calling in for a variety of other issues, including, I don't know if I should play it. More of these are chants involving Omar.

More chants here. A lot of chants here. And then there's this. It has nothing to do with football at all, but I think it's interesting. Hey, Clyde and Ali. Sorry, I was singing a little bit there. Hey, so I was singing, you know, producer Vanessa, I've been listening to you guys for like a year now.

it's like i'm very familiar with all of you guys and i just put you out in the morning while i'm like kind of waking up a little bit but it's just been going on for you know months and weeks so i'm all familiar with you guys and it's no big deal whatever hey but i was thinking that vanessa could take me out on a date somewhere no and then later she could rate it on the air like yeah it was terrible or i was all right or we had some fun or whatever you know anyways call me back let me I mean, that guy, he sounds like a nice, normal guy, Vanessa. You're wild. No, thank you for the offer.

No, thank you. Does that happen a lot? I'm being serious. How many times do you get approached for a date from a listener of the show, like either on DMs or on the GOAT line? A couple of times, but I feel like I've been very clear, like, hey, it's not going to happen. But let me ask you a question.

Whenever a listener meets another listener and they form a relationship and they start dating, we always look at that like it's a big win. Like, we had something to do with that. People that met at our event or people that happened to randomly meet in the wild and they both listened to the show. We all get excited about that. How is it different with you? I just, I don't want to date a listener.

It's just that plain. If I ever divorce my wife, the first place I'm going is to Alina Bovier. But the second place I'm going is to, no, the first place I'm going is to a listener. First place. No questions asked. Because you're a boy. What does that mean? No, I just, I want to meet the person myself.

I don't want them to come to me and be like, I'm a listener. I already know a lot about you. We should date. What if the guy is absurdly good looking and charismatic? It's okay, I'll meet them by myself. Do you think it's impossible that we have a good looking, successful, charismatic person listening to the show? I'm sure that we do, but I'd just rather meet them on my own. Right, no, I know.

without the help of you guys. But let's be honest. How long has it been since you've met anyone... I'm not desperate, Klein. I didn't say you're desperate, but how long has it been since you've met someone of substance?

I don't know. I can't... I don't know. Now, Jake was... What a meek, cute idea. Like, you know, that is... Like, you know, I heard this girl on the radio

and I approached her and then at first she was like, you know, saying no, but he was persistent and she said yes. I mean, that'd be a great story. Yeah, if this was on some stupid Hulu show

that you watch, Vanessa, So you would say, oh, my God, the show is so great. The girl was on the radio talking, and then a guy called and said, I think I love you, and then they went out. If this was a story that you were not in the middle of, you would see this, and you would get all excited. You would be so pumped about it. And now you're in the middle of it. You could be in the middle of, like Omar said, a great little meet-cute. I'm not interested in this meet-cute.

You guys, I would have nothing in common with the listener. You don't know that? You're both Rams fans. Who's house? Ram's house. See? That's excitement right there. And you like chicken.

Oh, maybe it happens at Tenderfest. That's the meat-cute story we're waiting for. Come here, chickens. We'll get to your ADD news next on KROQ. All right, we'll get into some ADD news now, better late than never. And then a chance for you to win your way into the next four shows happening here at KROQ. That's right. You don't have to decide.

You get all the shows and all the In-N-Out burgers that go with those shows. And that'll be happening in moments. But first, it's Jake the Nerd again with the snooze. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. One of the biggest stories of the weekend was a sting that happened on the 6th Street Bridge. It actually had to be closed when the LAPD busted a group of minibike riders known for street takeovers. The cops were set up around the city, and the deputy police chief said, we were following this group until we got them into a position where we could safely stop them all,

take them into custody, and impound the minibikes. They estimated that they stopped around 80 minibikes. And that's a lot of minibikes. The equivalent of three regular-sized bikes. You know, the 6th Street Bridge, it feels like no one's on that thing unless they're causing trouble. Is there anyone on there just for regular commuting purposes? Or is everything a part of some sort of a street takeover? They're climbing it.

They're tagging it. They're having parties in it. It's crazy. Like, is there one person that's just legally just going over the bridge? I think I did it once. Arrest everyone who goes on the bridge. If you've made that decision to take the 6th Street Bridge, you're probably up to no good. But the minibike gang, which I'm interested in, I'd love to see if they would come out to our next event on Wednesday.

It's our Siesta Fiesta. I think they'd be there more for the Fiesta side. I'd love to see outside of there, 80 minibikes parked. Are they decent people, or are they just a bunch of hooligans? Well, I don't know, but maybe we could get their minibikes at a hawk and then have them there. So they were all taken from them, the minibikes were taken? Yeah, they got impounded, yeah. Wow.

Well, you'd have to pay to get that back. I would think about less than a normal bike, right? Is it possible that one person, are they all going to say the same story? Is that I was just, I was just happened to not be with them. I was just a regular person on my mini bike. Oh, I was just a regular mini biker. I didn't know any of those guys. That's a wild situation.

And it does seem like, I don't know if it's the same. Are there rival mini bike gangs in the same way there used to be rival bike gangs? Or is it all, if you get a mini bike, do you just all join the same gang? Someone's got to know the answer to this question. Like the Hells Angels versus the Mongols and mini bikes? Right. Like, there's got to be, right, my question is, are they rival? Or is it just, I also want to get a minibike, you just join up?

Now, are they being called gangs by the cops, or are they more of a minibike club? Do you know what I mean? These are all good questions, Jake, and if you're giving the news, you should have these answers. Oh, you're right, but I don't. Sucks to suck, I guess, huh? Yep. All right, next story. All right, new study is revealing a physical sign that you're scrolling too much.

First was a thing being called technic From being hunched over for hours There's a condition in the tendon of your finger From unlocking your phone constantly Your eyes blink far less than they should Drawing out your eyes And your sleep is suffering Because sleep is getting pushed further and further

Because evening blue light suppresses a hormone That signals it's time for bed So the next stage of human evolution Should be very interesting Yeah, they did show us what we're all going to look like I think in a hundred years And that's if we don't get killed in ten years by AI Yeah, but we all have a giant, the neck, I don't want to say I'm a trendsetter, I don't want to say I'm a trendsetter here with my neck, but we're all going to have massive necks that are hunched over to support our heads because all we're doing is looking down, and I believe our hands are down to just two fingers.

It's like a thumb for scrolling, and I think a middle finger for telling people you don't like them, but we all look very monstrous. monstrous. I actually look we all kind of look a little bit like I look now, so I'm just warning you, this is your future but it's this is all because of the tech neck and the way that we're using our hands for constant scrolling, although I would imagine

probably not the next phase of phones, but like I know those we're all going to eventually go to some sort of you know, version of the meta glasses anyway all the time, so I think that would free up our hands for less scrolling because everyone's going to be doing that thing where we're randomly just moving our fingers. Now people hate the meta glasses

I know they do now, but I think eventually that's what's going to... I don't think we're just going to constantly be holding the phone in our hands. I know that's what they believe we will look like if we do, but I think tech neck is real. And the idea that we forget how to blink now because we don't want to miss a thing while we're scrolling is crazy. But I also feel like I don't blink very often, and maybe that's why. Maybe. People always accuse me of being on meth. That's not the case.

Next story, Jake. California high school students are scoring more street A's than ever before, But according to new data, that doesn't mean they're getting any smarter. The number of college applicants reporting flawless GPAs of 4.0 or higher has doubled over the past decade, even as state testing shows a post-pandemic plunge in reading and math comprehension, revealing a great inflation crisis that's sending students who can't even do fractions into top universities. So what is this? Is everybody using AI for homework? I don't know. Yeah, if you're getting A's and you have a lot of A's, but you can't figure out just the most basic stuff,

then it's once again the theory that you may be good at testing, but it doesn't mean you know anything. And the reality is that I think that a lot of people, we are way dumber as a society now than we were years ago. We'll prove that to you next hour when we get Johnny in here for some Johnny Doesn't Know. Right now, though, the question for you, as we are looking at relationship gaps, there is new research out that shows that the relationship gaps, especially as it pertains to eating,

are an indication if your relationship will stay together or if you're doomed. And that is when you sit down to eat with your boyfriend or girlfriend, husband, wife, whatever, and one of you finishes your meal within five seconds and the other one takes an hour to eat. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it is one of the many gaps you could have in your relationship. So the question we have for you right now, we'll take your calls next at 800-520-1067. What is the biggest gap currently in your relationship? It could be age related. It could be eating related like this. Maybe it's height.

Maybe it's weight related. There are significant gaps in relationships that are not necessarily total deal-breakers, but I'm curious for a real-world study right now, what is the biggest gap that is in your current relationship? Call us now, 800-520-1067, and we will get you and that partner of yours into the next four shows here at KROQ. We'll do that after this on KROQ. KROQ, finally show relationship gaps. I think in L.A., Southern California, we started this concept of relationship gaps, and that was usually when some old rich guy would start dating some really young girl. and that still happens now and it's flipped around

and now they've got old women dating young guys as well and no one cares but there's a new type of relationship gap that's getting a lot of attention and it has to do with when you sit down

to eat with the person that you are dating or married to and one of you eats your entire meal in about 30 seconds, inhales the meal. That's what I'm guilty of doing

and then the person that you're eating with is one of those slow eaters and at the end of it all, you could be done with your meal in under a minute and they could take

like closer to an hour and I think it's a weird thing and maybe the argument would be guys like to eat quickly and women like to take their time. That's probably the stereotype. But the reality is that some therapist has looked at this and said that's not necessarily a deal breaker. In fact, there's quite a few opportunities in relationships

where you guys could have these relationship gaps and that could be good for the relationship. Now, I don't know when it comes to eating. I would imagine, Omar, you probably inhale the food, right? Oh, my God, dude. I'm done. I'm just like waiting around for everybody to finish. That's how I feel, too.

It's so annoying. It is. And sometimes I've finished everything before people have all even sat down. If there's going to be one of those things where we all sit down together, which doesn't happen as often as it should, but if it's one of those nights, and I've oftentimes either made the food or been a part of it, I will make it. I'll put it down. I'll sit down. I'll be like, all right, guys, it's dinner. Then I'll start eating.

And I've realized that before even the last ass has hit the seat, I've already finished my dinner. I'm done. And now it's just me sitting around waiting for everyone to, you know, take their sweet ass time. down sometimes well yeah i mean if you're if you're just dating why even sit just eat but if you're a restaurant and you both order food and it arrives at the exact same time more often than not i mean i am i've always been of the mindset especially maybe since having kids but you got to eat quickly you never know when something could happen tantrum could take loose you're out of the food hits the table i just my job is to eat as quickly as possible and i also i

I enjoy my food at the temperature that it's supposed to be at. You know, it's like, like women, they just don't care, I guess. You know, it's just there. It's getting on cold. The slowly nibbling. Sometimes it's like a nibble. I don't think it's all women. Well, I'll tell you one thing.

If I ever am at dinner with my mom, I have to allow, I feel bad if they ever say, like if a restaurant ever says to me, we're going to need that table back in an hour and a half. I always tell them, you'll have it back in a half an hour. I will be done. I'll be out of here so quickly. You'll be able to do another turn. If I go out with my mom somewhere and they say, we're going to need that table back in an hour and a half, I say, that's not going to happen. There's no mathematical way that could happen.

It is the slowest eating process ever, the slowest eating process. And it's always been that way since I was a kid and to the point where I really hated going to restaurants because the waiters would start hovering. I'd be like, is there anything else? And she's like, still working on it, still working on it. I'm like, oh, my God. And then they would start coming by. You still working on that? Yep.

Like, oh, Jesus Christ. Someone help. so the question is it may not be food it may not be age but what is the biggest gap in your current relationship we've got tickets up for grabs and we say hi to george george what's going on buddy hey i'm with you on the food thing but me and my wife uh are polar opposites on sleep like i have a normal you know day job but she sleeps during the day and stays up all night watching tv for the longest time we resisted having a tv in the bedroom but i finally gave into that so so you guys have zero you there's zero set your your sleep gap is the biggest chain

in the relationship you rarely ever overlap on sleep ever yeah like she's a night owl and i'm an early bird when do you guys you have time to bang ever or no oh yeah yeah that's it's a good for you sounds believable let me say hi to karina karina what is the biggest gap in your relationship hi um the party gap he likes to party he has fomo he has to go he's go do something now i'm lazy i like to hang out i already did that in my early days i don't want to keep partying every weekend but the moment you give him an event he's there so he's one of those guys he'll go to anything if If anyone's having anything, he will go to it.

Engagement party, birthday party, even a co-worker is like, hey, it's my friends. You're like, you're not even that close. Yeah, but it's a party. I don't want to miss it. And you will stay home almost always. About 70% of the time, I will tag along depending on what it is. But other than that, I'm just going to do your thing, dude. Bye.

Or we argue about it. We can just bye. That's interesting because that's almost a social gap where you have someone that loves going out and someone that loves staying in. And that I feel like you need to be a little bit more compatible about or else when do you ever really actually get to spend time together? The sleep thing is interesting too. There's all sorts of different relationship gaps. One of you will go ahead and try to figure out if In-N-Out

and the sound space here at K-Rock can go ahead and solve that gap. Jasmine, what is the gap in your relationship? Hi. Hi. So the gap in my relationship is that my husband is 5'10", and I am 4'7". So you're both short. yeah well he's um he's 5'10 and 102 like i know sorry 250 around there and then um like i said 47 and weigh 100 pounds oh so you have a height slash weight gap pretty big gap yeah yeah like

we look like that couple from king of queens if you're sitting on his lap it looks like a ventriloquist act or something it's pretty much yeah all right hold on one second that's interesting that's a classic one old school uh kevin on k-rock what is the big gap in your relationship hey client i have a degree in business systems and she has a gb going to school education gap so you have a master's you have a master's degree i have a bs bs i was i got a degree in business systems, which is finance and consumer information systems. Right, right. And she is a GED.

She is a GED. Do you bring that up a lot? Like, are you guys going to do an argument? I think the argument stems from daily operations where say, I have things to do, I kind of go two birds, one shot. Whereas,

she kind of singles things out. It's almost like the average person does. But, it's inefficient. Like, you burn time unnecessary time doing things that don't really have importance sometimes and then maybe you give it that importance but sometimes it's not that you hang your diploma in the bedroom to rub it in her face or i don't rub it in her face i really try to try to find the angle to be funny if kevin just walked around the house in a cap and gown all the time just really sticking it to her uh sorry your

opinion doesn't count here all right that's an education gap it's another one uh what is the biggest gap in your relationship apparently there's gaps doesn't necessarily mean bad things anymore what's up jessica hi um so i am late to everything um i've been late to work like hundreds of times i'm late to the doctor's appointment you've been late to your job hundreds of times yeah i mean luckily i had a really cool manager um at the time but um like my husband's like um he likes to be on time for everything he's strictly he needs to have everything on schedule and i'm just completely not on that yeah that's uh that's an interesting one as well because i think you that i mean that at least checks out in a lot of relationships where

someone is the on-time person and the other person is late and then you have to figure out a way to it keeps it interesting because you always have somebody yell at each other about how you're not possibly ready there's nothing worse than me sitting downstairs waiting to go somewhere and omar i know you pulled this move as well where you'll just say you'll lie you'll lie about whatever time the reservation is because you have to do the math and you have to figure out if you're going to say

we need to be there at 8, in her mind that means she'll be trying on her third outfit at 8 and you want to be out of the house. Yep, so I always say it's like at 6.30. We got to be there at 6.30.

Yeah, and then when you roll in at 8, it's all good because that was the time. Russell, what is the biggest gap in your relationship? Talking about relationship gaps, up for grabs, you get tickets to not one,

not two, not three, but the next four shows happening here at the In-N-Out Burger Sound Space at K-Rock, which includes Dexter and the Moon Rocks, Fontaine's D.C., The Beaches, and The Paradox. All those shows will be in your future, and you can come there with your mismatched relationship. What happened to you, Russell?

Sweet divots. So, me and my lady have a social media, I would say, gap. So, she has a great presence, great following. Me and the other end, I'm more down to person. I'm kind of a ghost, you know, just low-key. But I guess that gap is just, I feel like sometimes it comes from two different worlds because, you know,

so I'll be scrolling through social media, have a fun time laughing. And then I know where it's kind of stopping me and she's like, what? I'm working. Yeah, that's an interesting gap right there too, where you go like, I've got seven followers and the person I'm dating has millions of followers.

And then what could you possibly communicate about at that point? Mark? Hey, sweet dibs, what's going on? What's up, bud? Yeah, me and my wife, I will drink the bar dry when she's sipping her martini to begin with. Ah, so it's similar to the eating one where you'll be on your fifth or sixth drink and she's still working on that first one? Oh, yeah, sipping it.

Oh, it drives me nuts. Yeah, it's really annoying, too, because you're like, are you drunk enough to find me attractive? And she's like, I'm just sipping this martini. Yeah, it's a tough one right there. Hey, Chewy, welcome to KROQ. Hi. hi mr kevin what's up buddy that's a good call back what's up uh my biggest chore gap well my biggest uh relationship gap is the chore gap well that seems to be a number one thing

people fight about where you feel like you do more or not i assume if you're calling you're going to say you do all of them and she does nothing no no i do almost nothing i take out the trash. She does the cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, everything. Is she a stay-at-home mom or does she work as well? No, she works as well. She makes more money than I do. Oh my God, man!

What the hell? She's a saint, brother. So she does the cooking, the cleaning, the kids, the laundry, and she works more and earns more than you do? Yeah. And you do the trash? Yeah.

And that's it? I mean, I take care of her, you know what I mean? Yeah, well, now that you made that noise, I know what you mean. Man, you should give that guy's wife the ticket. She earned them. All right, we'll think about it. One of you is going to get access to all four of these shows. We will go ahead and talk about this behind the scenes here at KROQ during Oasis.

Come back and announce the winner. Give them tickets away. And then more after this on KROQ. Good morning. Let's wrap this up. Give away some tickets. You can go to the next four shows at KROQ. We're talking about the biggest gap in your relationship.

There's obviously the age one is the OG gap that used to be the thing. And then now there's this thing about food and eating time and those that eat quickly versus those that eat slowly. But as this therapist was studying this, looking over these relationships, she realized not necessarily any sort of a sign that you're not compatible just because one of you likes to scarf down your food, the other one likes to take forever. In fact, the old adage used to be that opposites attract. You can't be exactly the same because if you are, you'll get sick of each other. So usually you tend to find people that are not like you at all, but it's led to this conversation about what is the biggest gap in your relationship.

Elsa, hi. Hi. What's up? So if we have a huge... Is there a personality gap in this relationship? Your turn. No, financial. Okay.

Let me say hi to Ashley. Hi, Ashley. Welcome to KROQ. Hi. My relationship with my boyfriend, I guess, would be our family. I have a really big family, and he has his grandmother. Wow, that's wild. It's so crazy during, like, the holidays, because my family loves going out on the holidays

and, like, big things and all. And he's just, like, so tripped out during the whole thing, because this is how family is. I always am blown away, too, because there are people that have tons of cousins, great relationships with all their cousins, their cousins' kids, and it's just like that's – it seems almost exhausting to keep up with all of those people. I have a pretty small family, but I understand – but also my wife has a small family, so the idea that – I don't understand the gap there. But, yes, if you have – he's got one relative and you've got hundreds, that's crazy. And finally, we say hi to Josie. Josie, we'll give you the last word here in this Gap conversation before we give away these tickets.

What's up? Hi. Okay, so my relationship gap is loyalty. I don't have a tough time keeping my legs closed, but apparently the guys I like to date have a tough time keeping it in their pants. Everyone cheats on you? Yeah, man.

I don't know what it is. I'm sorry to hear that. That sucks. But I can't give you the tickets just for that alone. Of all of the Gaps we heard from, I mean, there's been some strong ones here, but that woman, that poor, that woman who's 4'7", I mean, just going through life at 4'7", that's got to be rough. And I think there's something very funny about sending her to the next four shows at K-Rock where she won't be able to see anything. So not that your boyfriend is much taller than you at 5'10", but because you're 100 pounds and he's 250 pounds, there's something very funny about that.

So you guys are invited to the next four shows at K-Rock, and he'll probably get all your In-N-Out burgers as well, but enjoy those. Vanessa, make sure she gets those tickets. You know, this weekend we watched a lot of football, more than probably ever before, because we were forced to support teams that we didn't even care about a week ago. Vanessa's forced to support the Rams. Whose house? Rams' house. Omar is right there on the warpath, fighting along with the Washington Commanders,

but he's only going to support the old school team, the Redskins. And Omar went to a bar to watch football for the first time this year in, I want to say, ever. Ever, yes. I've never gone to a bar specifically to watch football, and I did this past Sunday. And it was cool, man. There was a lot of people in there, everybody getting all rowdy and stuff. It was cool. I was forced to support the team that I don't like just down the beltway

from the Commanders, the Baltimore Ravens. But I will say that as I did go watch the game and plan on going to the Ravens bar for the next one, I was excited to actually be supporting a team that's winning because I'm so used to supporting teams that lose that it was so exciting to actually see them get the win over the Colts. and as I was seeing other people in Baltimore jerseys, I forgot that they don't know I'm a part of this stupid thing,

so I was just going up to them being like, I don't know what the raven yell is. What was that? Well, Jake's got the squaw, and then I know that the eagle is listening. So I just kind of was throwing out like bird noises. Like a slow bird? I don't think the ravens have, I don't think they do that. I don't think they, based on the way the fans look to me,

I don't think they have a sound effect they make. Oh, they don't do that, okay. No, they don't make a raven sound. And so I learned that lesson the hard way. Johnny, did the Broncos get a win or not? Yeah, they're going to win today. They're the Super Bowl contenders, man. I didn't know if Johnny was going to even know they didn't play yesterday.

I thought, are you really going to go support your team or are you going to? Yeah, I was actually watching a lot of football over the weekend. Like, I was glued to that Bills and Texans game. No, but it doesn't matter. That's not the question. You're supposed to be a Broncos fan. Yeah. Are you going to watch a game tonight?

Yeah. Are you going to go to a Broncos bar? I just set up my new living room with my sound bar and everything. I want to enjoy it. You have to invite Broncos fans over, though. You have to do it the right way. Jake went through an entire— Listen, Jake was surrounded by cheeseheads all weekend.

Here he is talking to— It was nuts. This is like— He went full— I will say, as of this point in the season, and I will say Jake probably has the most free time and the least amount of responsibilities outside of here, so it makes sense,

but this guy already MVP for the man that is supporting the team. I agree. I mean, listen to this. This was Jake surrounded by cheeseheads this weekend at a Green Bay Packers bar. My big brother was a Packer fan until he decided to become a Chargers fan, so that sucked for him. All right. But he didn't like winning football, so that's on him. This is day one of me being a Packers fan.

What should I know about being a real cheeser? The fan base is absolutely amazing. We exemplify coming out, supporting. When they say we get cheesy, we get cheesy. We're cheesers, right? Yes, sir. Cheeseheads till we die. Cheeseheads?

Cheeseheads. Not cheesers? No, no, no. So, you know, a lot of the fans were correcting Jake on his verbiage because he wants to be taken seriously, and he did wear – I saw you had a couple of different cheese hats you were wearing. Yeah, I had, like, a big full cheese hat, and then someone else gave me, like, a cheese visor,

and then I got, like – a friend brought a jersey, and then I got two jerseys given to me and a shirt. I got all sorts of gear. It's kind of crazy. I've noticed, at least from so far in this process, the Green Bay Packers fans may be the nicest fan base just based on how they've accepted Jake. Jake is so not accepted in most places he goes.

And even at the DMV, the guy got thrown out. Yeah, in like 28 minutes. And it seems like every Packers fan that you were talking to was thrilled to chat with you about being a Packers fan. They were just happy to have you on board. Yeah, man, I'm a cheeser. This was Paula. How often does it get paid? I don't know that.

Jake was saying that he's part owner of the team because that's the thing is that the Packers are owned by the fans. So Jake was saying that he's now a fan, so he's a part owner of the team. and you were asking how often you get paid. Yeah, yeah, because I have a share of the team, too. Right. Do you get paid from the share? I don't know. So this is day one of me being a cheeser, right?

That's what they call it. Cheese head. Oh, cheese head. So as a cheeser, what should I know about the team? That they are good people, they have good fans, and they have good sponsorship from them. How do you think Jackson Love's going to do this season? i'm hoping for the best i just know that we have a newer setup yeah yeah you know but we do have

clay yeah yeah so you're you're a fan of jackson love yes sure is the lambo jump the best celebration in football yeah yeah yeah she's not even correcting you you've been wrong on everything she can't be a real packers fan if she's the lambo gear and stuff she's selling like packers necklaces so she's in there for the she's there for the profit she's not there for the fan she She sounds like a fake fan. You even sound like a real fan more than she is. I think the biggest shock of all of this, by the way, is that the team Allie was forced to support,

which was the Arizona Cardinals, one of the worst teams in all of football this season, ended up getting that crazy win yesterday against the Chargers. Hey, guys, I haven't watched football in a long time, but I started watching football just because you guys picked your teams. I'm watching the Cardinals' Chargers game. Allie, the Allinator, Allie-licious. People were just shocked by it.

I mean, the reverse mush was in full effect yesterday. And it was so crazy that not one analyst, not one expert got that right. And Allie, you know, couldn't go to the game, even though tickets were as low as $10 because she was actually in Chicago for a wedding. But I think she is going to go to the Bay Area when the Cardinals play her actual favorite team, the 49ers, and she's going to have to go there decked out in Cardinals gear, which will be hilarious for all parties involved. So we'll continue to keep you updated as the season goes on.

Johnny, you're being invited to a Broncos bar in Hollywood, not far from where we have our picture on the wall where we replaced Diddy. There's apparently a big Broncos bar there that you can go to tonight for that game. So we've got to take ourselves a quick break. We're back in a second. We have news to get to, and then we have more tickets. That's right, another four-pack of tickets for you to go to the next four shows at KROQ, In-N-Out Burger Soundspace.

You want to win your way in, keep listening. We'll give you a chance as we get into the next hour right here on KROQ. All right, it's Monday morning. It's K-Rock with your Klein Alley Show. Half of us are here today. That's what we always say about Alley. Never comes in on a Monday. So typical.

But don't worry about it. We're going to hold the fort down without her. You won't even notice she's gone because here with your ADD News is everyone's favorite slash least favorite person on the planet, Jake the Nerd. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. Thank you. Thank you.

The big news at the start of the weekend was the cancellation of the inaugural Ocean Wave Festival that was going to feature the killers, Jack White and Sublime. Thank you. Festival organizers announced in a statement that storm surf runoff has caused significant beach erosion and the festival can no longer be safely held as planned. They did, however, note that they've already planned a festival for next year. So, fingers crossed we don't get hit by the most minor of hurricanes again. You know, a lot of people are very suspicious as to this cancellation. And I can't quite figure it out.

Now, I look at the lineup, of course, the Killers Day was sublime and Jack White, great day. Great day. They got all the big font bands. Then you move to day two. I don't know anyone. Now, maybe Johnny's. The first thing that I said, I was like, wow, these are very different days. Very different days.

Very different people. To stack a festival and to move around the right amount of bands and so you're going to balance it out so you have enough things that people care about. Ideally, you want to spread that around all the days. I feel like this was very lopsided, at least in the bands that I cared about. And I was very excited. I was going to go, believe it or not. And I rarely leave my house, but I was going to go to see the killer's day of the Oceanway Festival in Santa Monica. That's the day I was going to go, too.

But day one was just severely O.P., very overpowered. And then the second day just left a lot like to be desired. I mean, even if they had just shifted, moved Jack White to Sunday and kept the kill, there's a bunch of things that I feel like could have happened. And listen, they're saying it's weather related. I'm sure I did see, obviously, a lot of the coastline to get hit badly. I couldn't imagine it got hit badly enough to cancel a festival. No, it's still got the good infrastructure to hold a festival. If they thought that was an easy out for them to go ahead and pull the plug on this,

then maybe that's what it is. But, you know, we don't contribute to rumors here on KROG. I feel bad. I know we gave away a lot of tickets, and I feel bad for anyone who won from us and then found out that that show got canceled. We will be honoring all Ocean Way tickets this Wednesday at our Siesta Fiesta thing at Descanso. Oh, it's just like the festival. Same thing.

It's just like seeing Jack White in The Killers. We got a band. We got mariachi. We got tacos. We got T-shirts. We got Vanessa. Oh, yeah, great. Literally almost the exact same thing.

Wait, why did they get Vanessa? That's weird. We got Vanessa. So, Johnny, stop chiming in so much. It's okay. We'll be fine with that. Jesus Christ. What's going on?

He's helping. He's not helping. Johnny was running late today because he forgot his lunch at home. I'm going to be a little late today, guys. I left my lunch at home. I did forget my lunch. Are you in elementary school? Yeah, it's like we're working with a child.

Vanessa comes in. She's like, I got some bad news. Johnny is running late. He left his lunch. He has to turn around. I'm like, he doesn't have to turn around. It was a good lunch, man. Do you know how many times I come in here and I forget the thing I was planning on bringing in here?

Most days. Most days I do that. I go, ah, damn, I had pizza. Should have brought it in. I left it at home. And then I get home, it's on the counter, and I eat room temperature pizza for lunch at home afterwards. Oh, man, this delicacy needed to be eaten this morning. It's that good.

Vanessa, block Johnny from the mic. Go ahead, Jay. Question, story two. Week one of NFL is almost in the books. Not the best week for L.A. teams. Not only did none of them win, the Rams' new defensive end star, Miles Garrett, is getting knee surgery. He's getting placed on injured reserve. That, plus a week one loss to a division rivals, makes it seem like they're not quite the favorite to win the Super Bowl anymore.

The best football news of the week was a reporter from Australia that came up with a great new name for the 49ers. We're watching some footy game in America, the Rams and the San Francisco 69ers. That's so good. 40! 49ers! That sounds much more interesting. Yes. A lot of people might pay to see them.

That's what we were doing. The 49ers. That's much harder to explain to your wife. So it's always nice when we try to make this a more global sport. We invite these other countries to get involved. And I think that was a total disaster for the Rams. Everything had a plan to go down there. I think the players are going to be all jet lagged now for a week leading up.

And it's really remarkable if you think about some of the stuff that took place week one in the NFL. I think the biggest shocker in addition to the fact that Omar actually went to a bar to watch football was that the team that Allie drafted in our forced fandom, the Arizona Cardinals, which were the biggest underdogs of week one, somehow figured out a way to not only beat the Chargers, but beat them good. And the reality is that Allie's reverse mush power is as strong as her actual mush power, which is really unbelievable. I mean, there is not a bigger underdog in the NFL this week on a worst team to best team comparison

and somehow that's what happened. What was the final score? They ended up winning by over, I don't know, soundly. They beat them by over a score. They were up, I don't know, what was the final score? But they won by more than... 26-14. Yeah, it was like more than a score.

So it was incredible. It's incredible. That's crazy. Allie's reverse mush powers. She probably doesn't even understand this because I think she's at some lesbian wedding right now in Chicago. But regardless, unbelievable. All right, Jake, final story.

Oh, you're going to love this. More than 80 earthquakes have hit L.A. County over the weekend, giving us a reminder that the big one might be coming soon. According to a recent study, the San Andreas Fault is at the highest stress level it's been in over 1,000 years. It's because Omar did that rain dance on Friday, and I think he got it wrong. He went left instead of right. If he'd gone left, right, left, we would have had rain. Instead, he gave us all them quakes.

I don't know why a lot of people were hitting me up from out of state going, what's going on in L.A.? I heard you guys were having a ton of earthquakes. And I said, I haven't felt any of them. Neither did I. They said we had swarms all over the place in Southern California. Did anyone feel that on the show? I didn't feel anything.

Nope. So is this like one of those things where it's like a big news story because they know it gets clicks, but like it's not real? We live in all different parts. You didn't feel anything along the way? Omar, usually they're by you and San Bernardino, but you didn't feel anything. I didn't feel anything. And I usually feel something, you know, something that's over like a 3.5. I'm able to feel.

What was the rating on these earthquakes? There's a lot of them like around the mid twos. Oh, that's why, dude. Mid twos is like a car driving by. That's nothing. Mid twos. This means nothing. All right, so the big one's going to hit any day now.

So let's go ahead and make today the greatest day of your life. And we will make memories together, some good, some bad, and some very regrettable. But that is what we have in store for you. It is Klein Alley Show on KROQ. Good morning. This is the world famous KROQ. All right, just after 10 o'clock on a Monday, Recovery Monday, if you spent most of the weekend watching football, drinking heavily, down in wings.

You know, it's weird. I don't remember what day it was that it officially happened, but, you know, I'm officially a flats guy now with wings. And I was a little drumstick guy for most of my life, and I would not even mess with the flats. It seemed like it was too much work. Nah, flats is where it's at, 100%. Flats is where it's at. Dude, you put those things in there, they poof, get all the meat out. Now I'm at a point where I got to be honest, those little, if I got like, there's some places I'll let you pick.

You know, you can go all flats or all drummies. And I used to go, like, God's choice. You decide, you know, let it be how the pieces fall, and I will eat accordingly. And now, I'm, like, bummed out when I can't just go flats. And I don't know anyone that would not pick flats now. Is anyone here a drumstick person over flats? I think I'm still a drumstick guy. You are, Jake?

Really? I think so. Man, I made that shift. I like them both, but I think I like drumsticks more. What I find from the drumsticks, Winks, is that they're more savvy. Preach, Vanessa. Preach. Whose house?

Fran's house. Preach, girl. As a chicken lover, as you may say, the drums are too fatty in the middle. I don't know. There's, like, not enough chicken. Am I right? I feel more like I am in my caveman. I'm in, like, my essence when I'm ripping into a flat.

I feel like I've dominated that bird more, almost like I earned it more. And I actually think it's better flavor. I'm telling you, a proper, if you're going best wing to best wing, I'm team flats now. I've completely made the shift in my life. I never thought I would have been that way. Just crazy. You're flats Omar too? Yeah, but I also, I will have a drumstick.

I mean, you know, definitely flats better, but I will occasionally like a drumstick for sure. Yeah, I used to be all drums. Now it's all flats. Every once in a while, I'll use like a drum as like a palate cleanser before I go back to the flats. But, man, what a weekend. It's the best time of the year for wings, best time of the year for chicken. That's why we're going to be hooking you up all week with tickets to go to Tenderfest. And later this hour, we will get you into the In-N-Out Burger sound space at K-Rock for the next four shows,

which means you'll be seeing Dexter of the Moon Rocks, Fontaine's D.C., The Beaches, and The Paradox. All those shows will be in your future here. And, of course, you know, it's a big weekend for sports. Obviously, there's only one thing people are talking about, and here it is. Let's go. So, Team USA Women's Basketball, we just won the gold for the World Cup. That's what we're all talking about. Everyone's talking about women's basketball.

No, they're not. They're talking about NFL football. Let us bask in the glory. You don't get your gay sports highlights today because Allie's not here. But you would never know she's not here because Omar can make her here just by hitting this button. Hey, Allie. Saw a couple of cute boys and a hot little girl. It was a real all-you-can-eat boyfay.

Yeah, that's so typical. So Allie to say that. Nice to talk to you. We will get into this one from Sublime, and then we have more show in store for you, plus some Johnny Doesn't Know coming up this hour on KROQ. Back-to-school time is officially underway, and perhaps you have a back-to-school night to get to this week or next week,

or maybe you just went to one. It's really hard to stay awake in class, especially when it's the teacher up at the front blabbing about the important things they're going to teach your kid this year, and you have to stay focused, and you have to pretend that you are not the reason that your kid is having a hard time in school, even though it's pretty clear.

I'm sure the teachers can tell pretty quickly that the apple didn't fall too far from the tree. But we like to spotlight stories that are feel-good stories because, as you know, Klein Alley Show is a feel-good show. You maybe woke up feeling cranky or angry, your back was hurting, hungover, whatever, and you listen to the show and you feel better. So we've brought you many of these feel-good back-to-school stories over the years, around this time of the year. In fact, we were just talking about chicken wings.

You may remember this feel-good back-to-school story we brought you last year. A, B, C, easy as 1, 2, 3. Well, new at 10, a former Harvey School District Director pleaded guilty to stealing $1.5 million worth of chicken wings. ABC, easy as 1, 2, 3. Then we brought you this story also that happened. Orwick Custodian is being charged for allegedly stealing 10 Chromebook laptops from the Robertson Elementary School. Officials say 53-year-old Luis Calcano Acevedo could be seen hiding the laptops in surveillance videos. And then, you know, we talked about all of these different stories, including bus drivers that get drunk on hand sanitizer, etc.

But we have the first feel-good back-to-school story of the 2026 back-to-school year. And I think it's worth us sharing with you right now because, you know, if you've got kids in school or perhaps you work in the school, you work, you know, I don't know, work as a teacher or work as a janitor or maybe you're a lunch lady like Allie's aunt was. I think it's important that we focus on some of the feel-good stories. So here we go. Without any further ado, it is the feel-good back-to-school story of the 2026 back-to-school season. A school prank involving what police called fart spray sent at least three elementary students to the hospital and prompted a hazmat response. Officials say a student at a Fort Lauderdale elementary school brought the spray to campus and discharged it in a hallway. I'll give the kid credit because if you're a child, I don't think there's probably a funnier prank to pull than fart spray. A classic.

Yeah. It's a classic. I used to do the stink bombs. Yeah, well, the stink bombs were like the slippery slope gateway drug into the fart spray. And I believe that the smells have gotten far more intense over the years. I think science has figured out a way to make these from smelling bad. Because stink bombs used to just have a rotten egg smell. They did a great job of making that rotten egg smell.

And it was terrible and it was nauseating. And I think they've gotten to the point now where fart spray has gotten so powerful. in this particular case you'll hear people had to get medical treatment and discharge it in a hallway restroom and classroom what may have been intended as a joke quickly escalated 10 students had to be evaluated for respiratory symptoms i mean that's a strong ass fart spray 10 kids had to get looked at for respiratory symptoms because of fart spray but also this has to do with the fact that the prank is a good concept but there was no nuance to it because the guy probably just unloaded the entire if he had just done a little spray here a little spray there where people go

around and then you get to watch people as they kind of make that oh god what is that that that's the subtlety of a good prank this guy probably you know got all excited because he came across some fart spray and it sounds like he unloaded the whole uh you know bottle of it which is way too much three were taken to a local hospital as a precaution oh just imagine that you're in the hospital now you got to put an insurance form in what's the reason my kid sucked in some fart spray in school the school was put on lockdown while police firefighters and hazmat crews responded to investigate yes a hazmat truck showed up over fart spray so there you go it's your feel good back to school story of the 2026 back to school season uh if you think you can top that

please get them to us by sliding in the dm's client alley show or you can email us hey did we get that email address uh set up for the show vanessa i know we were talking about that last week i know wayne's working on it but i don't know if it's ready right all right we're gonna have a a lot of people always try to get us stuff and they say it's annoying to send it to us or Instagram, so we're going to have a show email. I don't know why it's taking this long. I could set up a Gmail in 15 minutes.

This is official official. This is Odyssey, man. It takes forever. Alright, well next year around this time, remind me that we have an email address to tell you about. We're back in a moment when we return. You battling Johnny. Tickets to not one, not two, not three, but the next four shows happening here at KROQ.

Back to school time. Never hit Johnny. He was hit in the head by quite a few things over his lifetime, but we'll get into one round if Johnny doesn't know for you to win your way in and that is next on KROQ. KROQ, we're a Klein Alley show. We got four bands in your future,

four burgers in your future, so we give Johnny four different questions today and that means everyone who gets theirs right will have a chance to win their way in to the next four shows

here at KROQ. Johnny's very excited because he's a new Broncos fan, which means he will be... Johnny, you are a Chargers fan in real life though, aren't you? No, I'm undecided on a football team.

Oh, I thought your dad has like season tickets to Chargers. He's got season tickets, but because it's the Chargers, it's the cheapest. Oh, they were cheap season tickets. Is that why he got them?

Cheap season tickets, yeah. What do they cost for season tickets to the Chargers? Like $6? Yeah, $20 maybe. So he's a season ticket holder with good seats or bad seats? They're pretty good, actually. I'm not going to lie. Yeah, they got their own concession stand and everything.

So anyway, I would go there just to sit by a... Madison Beer? Yeah, exactly. That's exactly why. I wonder if they could do certain seats facing her where she's sitting, not even facing the field. I'd actually start going to the games then. All right, well, we got some questions here, Johnny, and these are all famous quotes. you just have to finish the famous quotes

these are things you quotes is like what really trips me up because like anybody could say these and it's like I've heard them too but like you guys like the niche little references these are not niche at all have you heard of a man by the name of Buddha yeah okay well he's given us one of these quotes

the Asian dude right pretty well known quotable guy yeah Buddha is the Asian dude if you're writing down your takeaways for today's show let's get into it once again you don't need to know the answers you just need to predict if Johnny will know up for grabs Everyone who gets theirs right, write your name down. One of you will get access to the next four shows here at KROQ.

Here we go. Johnny doesn't know. And I was like, okay. Oh, Johnny doesn't know. I didn't know Vegas was like in Vada for like a while. Johnny doesn't know. Johnny doesn't know. Gelato sounds like Jell-O.

Johnny doesn't know. It like goes wiggle, wiggle, wiggle. Very quotable quotes. Most people probably know these, but well, Johnny, he's had trouble in the past with quotes, specifically ones from movies. This one, these are quotes that will take you throughout history. And we will start with the man I just mentioned a moment ago, Buddha. Priscilla, good morning.

You're on KROQ. Hi. Hi. Good morning, Sweet Dibbets. Sweet Dibbets. I will give Johnny the first part of this quote, and let's see if he can finish it. From a man by the name of Buddha. What we think.

Will Johnny be able to finish this quote, yes or no? I'm going to go with no. What we think. I have two, but I think it's the exact same thing. What we think is what we are or what we think is what we become. So I'm going to go with what we are because I think that's like present tense and that's like a better answer, I think. What we think is what we are, Buddha, 1586. All of what you just said is way off.

What we think we become. I was close. You were in the right wheelhouse, but sadly, you went with the opposite of what you should have said. And she said you would not know, so congratulations. Hold on one second. She is right, which means she's a step away. Once again, we said four bands, four burgers, four quotes. In this round of Johnny Doesn't Know, we say hi to Jesse in Burbank now.

Good morning to Jesse. Hi, welcome to KROQ. Knowledge is what? Knowledge is what? This is not from Buddha. But will Johnny know this? Francis Bacon. It's a very famous quote from Francis Bacon.

Knowledge is what? Francis Bacon. Will Johnny know this, Jesse? No. I don't think he's going to know. All right. Johnny? Johnny?

Knowledge is? Is it going to be knowledge is key? Knowledge is power? Knowledge is key? I'm going to say knowledge is key. I think I've seen that written on a wall somewhere at like a restaurant or like a... You've seen that on the wall of a restaurant? Knowledge is key?

Like in school, you know, when your third grade teacher puts up the little like signs that say like... It's not a restaurant. That's a school. Oh, a school. Yeah. But like at a restaurant, they might have... You would tag a wall at Applebee's and write knowledge is key. Have you seen the walls of Applebee's?

Yeah, I have. I've seen crazier stuff there on those walls. He said you wouldn't know. You've once again somehow said the right answer, but then you locked in on the wrong one. Oh, knowledge is key. Knowledge is power. Oh, power.

I said that. Knowledge is power. Hold on, Jesse. You got yours right as well. So, Johnny, it's funny because you kind of like know these, but you don't know them, which is interesting as well. Well, Francis Bacon threw me through a loop. I thought you were trying to trick me out right there.

You thought I made that name up? Yeah, because Bacon. Who the hell is named Bacon? Right. Who would be named that? Yeah. We say hi to Matthew now in Santa Ana. Matthew, a chance for you to also score these tickets

for the next four shows happening here at KROQ at the Internet Burger Sound Space. You'll be seeing so many amazing bands here, like the Paradox and Fontaines DC, Dexter and the Moonrocks, and the Beaches. You'll be at all the shows. You'll be eating all the burgers. You'll have four people that will owe you favors.

And welcome to Johnny Doesn't Know, four quotes, four bands, four burgers. You ready? Yeah, thank you. You're very welcome. Johnny? Yeah. According to Oscar Wilde, be yourself because, will Johnny know this, yes or no, Matthew?

He looks stunned when I said that. Be yourself. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Be yourself because nobody else could be you. No. You figured out a way to kind of take these quotes and make them unquotable, which is interesting. Be yourself, because everybody...

Oh, everybody else is taken. Everybody else is taken, yeah. All right, Matthew, good job. You did not get his right as well. So that's three now, and we go to Alex North Hollywood for the final quote. Johnny's 0 for 3. Damn. I'm going to go really easy this time, Johnny.

Thank you. Thank you so much. Good morning, Alex. Hey, Tibbs. Shout out, NetBangers. All right. Here we go. Johnny?

Yeah, let's hit it. This is from a Japanese proverb. Fall seven times. Stand up. Will Johnny know this, yes or no, Alex? I mean, I love Johnny, but I don't think he's going to know this one. He's gotten none right so far. But he does do great with Japanese proverbs.

We've always said that about him. How many times did you fall again? Fall seven times. stand up eight times. Why do you come up with that number? Well, because you fall seven, it's like stand up again. You're going to stand up

and it's going to be the eighth time. So it's like if you fall seven times, get back up because the eighth time you might win. Alex, I'm so sorry. You had no faith in Johnny as you should have played the game, but sadly Johnny got that right. Fall seven times, stand up eight. Really? Stop.

Johnny is a Japanese. Jake, I know you're a big fan of all things Japanese culture. Find another Japanese proverb, and let's see if Johnny's able to solve this. Oh, jeez. Because, Johnny, I know you probably have a bunch of them on the top of your dome. Oh, of course I do, yes. Because you love anime and all things Japanese culture. You know I hate anime.

But, Johnny, it's incredible that of all of the quotes, Johnny couldn't get anything right about Buddha, nothing right about Francis Bacon. What if I'm like a modern-day Confucius? I think you're modern-day Confucius as hell, is what I think. Listen to this. Jake is going to give you another part of a famous Japanese proverb right now. All right, let's go. Let's see, maybe, what if Johnny is so smart that he's able to solve all of these now without any knowledge?

I'd love that. All right, ready? Yeah. Go ahead. Even monkeys fall. Go ahead. Even monkeys fall, but they still are happy, and they still... Take back everything I said about Johnny.

They fall, and they're happy, but what do they do? They live another day? They keep swinging. They keep swinging. Even monkeys fall, but they keep swinging. Even monkeys fall from trees. What? Do you understand that, Johnny?

I'm not Japanese. Which means even experts make mistakes. Oh, yeah. See? Just like I did right now. Yeah. Well, I take back. I thought Johnny may have been a genius, but we were wrong.

All right. Priscilla, Jesse, Matthew, all got theirs right. Johnny, I need a number from you, one through eight. Give me a number. Six. That puts us on Matthew in Santa Ana. Matthew, congratulations. All right.

Thank you. We will see you at the next four shows happening here at KROQ and Come Hungry, because we'll be getting in and out of all of them. Congratulations. Takeaways from today's show after this one from Green Day. Here's some takeaways from today's show. Get out of here. Sluggo will be in in moments.

And if you've been trying to get into the next four shows happening here at KROQ's In-N-Out Burger Sound Space, fear not because you'll have chances to win those tickets, I think, every... Is that every hour? Straight up through 6 p.m.? Every hour. Wow, look at that. Every hour. So just keep on winning.

I would have said that earlier, but then I would have assumed you would have tuned us out and come back with Sluggo. But now you have a chance to win them with Sluggo and then again with Kevin. So just keep listening to KROQ and win your way into all them shows coming up. A reminder, if you were planning on going to the Ocean Way Festival and you found out that that show was canceled, so you're not going to be able to see Killers and Sublime and Jack White and all that with that Ferris wheel behind you, don't worry. We will accept all those tickets at the Klein Alley Show Fiesta Siesta happening on Wednesday. This Wednesday.

Who's going to be there? We don't have the same band booked. Jack White? No. No, not yet. Do we have calls out to their people, Vanessa? I made the calls. Oh.

So we've got a call. I don't know. What's it called? She goes, Caw-caw. Descanso, Los Angeles, mid-Miracle Mile will be there

from 11 till 1230 or 1 or something. We do have live music from Ear Ringers. Mariachi will be there. First 106 people get gourmet tacos. Limited edition

Los Slugger shirts as well. So we'd love to see you out there on Wednesday this week for a middle-of-the-week lunchtime hang. And you can either fiesta or siesta

depending on how you're feeling middle of the week. You never know. Some people are ready to go. They're already ready for the next weekend. Others are like, I'm dragging ass.

Choice is yours. It's our first ever Fiesta Siesta and we'd love you to be there on Wednesday. All right, takeaways from today's show on the text line.

714, I'm just browsing for hams is a totally reasonable thing to say. And I did say that to Stanley from the office and he agreed. Well,

I didn't leave that empty handed. 818 said, Elsa has a speaking gap in her relationship. Another 818 takeaway, you got to hit him first with the whoop-ah.

That's how you know you've won the relationship. 650, Bo Urkel gets all the tendies, 2-1-3. 80 minibikes equals one regular bike. Learned that on today's show. And 626 said Buddha is that Asian dude. And someone said my favorite football team now, 909, is the San Francisco 69ers.

What's your takeaway from today's show, Johnny? Happy birthday, Bruiser. Hey, happy birthday, little Bruiser. She's given us some great lines over the years. I like to smell you guys' penis. That's not my favorite thing she said, but I hope she doesn't do that ever again. What's your takeaway from today's show, Vanessa? Client got hassled by Stanley from The Office.

Man, that guy's good at selling. Good at selling. Sell paper, you can sell ham. That's a great takeaway. You can sell paper, you can definitely sell ham. That's easy if you sold paper for years. What's your takeaway, Jake? This was real quick.

You might have missed it, but Vanessa has a practical magic outfit. Yeah, the girls are going to be dressed like witches, and I've got an outfit. She's wearing a special outfit to the movie theater. So this is very exciting. What day is this, tomorrow? Yeah, I'm going tomorrow. And you want to tell us which location so we can... No, definitely not, you weirdos.

All right. I like it that she's the one dressing like a witch to go to the movies. We're weirdos. We're the weirdos? You got to put on your... Are you going to eat popcorn out of a cauldron or out of a regular bag? Maybe. Okay.

Maybe I will. That's why she got all them spells she's been dropping on us the last few weeks. Wooshy-pooshy and all that stuff. Omar, you have a takeaway? Send vibes out to Miles, please. Yeah, send all them vibes over to Miles. We'll do it tomorrow. We'll try to do it better.

If you need us in the meantime, you can find us on the GOAT line, 844-956-GOAT. And Allie will be back tomorrow, at least we think. All right, that's it. Goodbye. Goodbye. Glad and Allie, it's just okay. Do-do-do. Glad and Allie, it's just okay.

Wow. Glad and Allie, it's just okay. Do-do-do-do-do-do. Just okay. Do-do-do. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Well, that's all we got for you. we know you were hoping it would be better trust me when i say we were too but for those of you

with learning differences this episode comes with a visual aid in the form of a live stream on youtube that's right you can see the show you just listened to with a bunch of more weird awkward moments where there's music and commercials playing and ali and i are just sitting there picking at our faces yeah so if you go to k-rock's youtube you can watch it live or you can watch it after the fact and as always you can catch us on instagram at klein ali show and on tiktok as well And there's a live show, by the way, on the radio. Okay, volleyball.