Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Funner Summer Fails

Episode Date: August 4, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Hey, Ron.

We are Klein Alley Show. If you'd like to join us in the conversation about fun or summer fails or fun or fails, you can go ahead and do that now on the phones with the text line. The number is 800-520-1067. Up for grabs. We hear your stories. We pick one and we say, yes, you're going to go see Smart List Live at the Hollywood Bowl on October 17th. Or if you'd rather, you can have yourself some limited edition Klein Alley Show merch.

Yesterday we talked about this was a fun or summer fail. Dylan! Dylan! A jet skier is enjoying a day on a lake. He turns around to ride backwards when, without warning, he blacks out. Ended up crashing that jet ski into a pier of some sort. And he lived. That was my funner summer fail. I was trying to just have a good old-fashioned pool day

and launched my child off my knees up into the sky because she wanted to go higher, daddy, higher. And instead, she launched her head directly into my nose. Hey, Klein and Allie. Love you guys. Hey, Klein, I hope your nose isn't too bad. I hope it gets better soon. I've broken my nose, and it's not a good feeling or deal. But we'll get through it.

K-Rock. Woo! Thank you for the uplifting message, sir. It's still in pain, and it feels like it has gotten crooked, but I guess I'm used to that. Did you get it to the doctor? No, he couldn't see me yesterday. He was too busy with more important things. So I'm going to try to go in today and get a proper x-ray.

But at some point, you just go, what can you do? Either he's going to take it and snap it back into place, or this is just me again. People say I'm back to what I used to look like again, so people are thrilled. And actually, it's kind of comforting for me. Yeah, it's kind of like the old Klein. I guess all of that ridiculous six months of pig nose was for nothing. I know. Now you've undone everything in one weekend.

I had to just smash my kid's head into my nose, and I'm back to normal. But it was fun or summer, fail. And think about it. I think the number one injury every summer is pool injuries. A lot of pool injuries. People crack their heads open, break arms, they stub their... I mean, it's just... Even the bad third-degree burns people get for falling asleep in the sun.

It's bad news. Any fun or summer fails, we'll take them now at 800-520-1067 because misery loves company. We say good morning to Kenan on KROQ. Good morning, Kenan. How's it going? Sweet divots, guys. Sweet divots.

Tell us about your fun or summer fail. So we took the boat to the lake, you know, and we blow a tire on the way to the lake. not really such a big deal right we have a spare uh the fun fail is on the way home we blow the other tire and so we we ended up having to leave the boat on the side of the road drive home it's like 10 p.m you know we had to get tools take it back and then we had to try to find somewhere that could uh fix the tire at 10 p.m luckily luckily we ended up finding a place that was only a few miles away so it ended up working but it took a couple extra hours and everything you're lucky

you even got your boat back because i feel like that's a sweet payday right there for one-armed gary who seems to be acquiring all sorts of boats he finds random places right if you unhitch the boat and leave it there some person with the truck's like and uh just to hitch a hitch and move along just won myself a free boat it's like going on price is right or something uh that is a that is a fail indeed uh crippled cody you've had a life full of fails what was your fun or summer fail yeah so mine's not super exciting but i booked a bunch of uh non-refundable trips because i'm cheap and didn't want to buy insurance and then uh promptly got fired from my job oh no i feel you because i don't do the insurance either so you had the opportunity to you bought the trip

they said for an extra 11 a person you can insure this entire trip you're like not doing it and then you ended up getting fired yep so i gotta go on these trips as a super broke person going to like Hawaii and stuff where everything is crazy expensive. Yeah, dude, it's like 12 bucks for a coffee there. It's insane. I know that you lost your job as a water scientist or something like that, but have you had any

bites about getting a new job or no? Trying to, but it's really slow working in the government field, as you can imagine. Sucks, too. You're going to a place surrounded by water. Triggering for you. Very triggering for a cripple because you can't do much of anything. All right, well, that's definitely a fun or summer fail. I'm sorry

about that jess uh fun of summer fail what happened to you hi um i peed on a trampoline cool hold on one second i don't know if we said this is necessarily a fail well did you just lose bodily control how did this happen yeah um so i recently had a baby and um our friends so i have an older child and um he's friends with like the kid who has the cool parents at school and we got invited how are they the cool parents they have a trampoline in their backyard that's a good start I guess

they're always just cool they're like rockabilly they're always like going to concerts and stuff I don't know they're just cool so for you to get an invite over to the cool parents house was a big deal because you're like wait a minute I'm getting invited to the cool parents house

and they think I'm a cool parent too right yeah I proved I wasn't cool so all the kids were on the trampoline and they were like oh you should come you should come and I was like okay yeah I'm fun too

and so yeah I'm jumping jumping and like I didn't even realize that maybe it was the gravity or something but like the gravity and all the kids are screaming and running off the

trampoline and they're like oh my god you know mom just peed and i was like oh no like i just embarrassed my son and uh it was awful it was horrible and the parents were like it's okay it's okay you just had a baby it's like and i'm like no and then we left yeah and i understand the parents understand those circumstances but those boys don't you're just the mom who peed on the trampoline it's not a better situation to be in than if you're going to have an accident than being around children because you should have just pushed a kid in it and blamed it on that other kid it was him mason damn you mason you peed on the trampoline all right well that's uh jess you're a you're a front runner in this one for sure fun or summer fail trying to have good

good old-fashioned fun on a trampoline didn't realize she would urinate all over the place 626 said i made it my mission this summer to have the sluttiest summer ever and sleep as many people as i could three weeks in i started getting a massive itching burning sensation on my balls man long story short i've been on an inflatable donut on the couch waiting for my gonorrhea to go away that sucks i would say fun or summer fail for sure laura and k-rock good morning hey good morning sweet dibs fun or summer fails what happened yeah so we um we have a girls group and we haven't been able to get away for the last three years so we finally go away we go to palm desert we've got a house we're so excited to go out you know dancing karaoke but for some reason

before that we decide to do um a split competition or we really call it a clam slam competition a clam slam i've never heard of a clam slam that's omar's favorite omar is that not the best competition in the history of competitions omar's always a big advocate of the clam slam dude that's our next event every time we talk about doing a show event omar's been going we got to do more clam slam and a summer clam slam well i thought you guys might like that so we we did our clam slam competition after we did a little wine tasting right and we weren't did i tell you we're almost 50 like we tore up our leg muscles and like could barely dance we went out and just sat there and like ruined the whole night because we were all so sore from clam slamming

all right well that's uh that's a good fail as well in theory like i don't understand we were great at this clam slam thing in our 30s yeah we're not good at slamming clam anymore 929 said i was in a mosh pit this summer got shoved to the ground and my hand landed on a broken beer bottle i severed four nerves and three tendons in my left hand listen i i will applaud all of the attempts for you to have a funner summer i mean we were on trampolines we were on boats we were doing clam slams we were moshing what's a summer more than a collapse nothing it's it's like literally should be the event of the summer i in fact ali we should i don't know if it's too late we should plan some sort of an end of summer clam slam clam slam on the beach and we'll get a

band to play it or something what band i don't know we should find a band that will play i bet there's a band somewhere called the clam slammers uh i uh i think vanessa make a note and put it on my desk end of summer end of client alley show end of summer clam slam alley seems like a lawsuit waiting to happen we're gonna do all the stories we've heard uh which one of them do you feel had the biggest fun or summer fail. You know, I know there are a lot of fail stories we've heard, but the woman who peed on the trampoline, I just feel so bad for her and her kid

that he's going to get teased for that forever. Congratulations. You've brought your son... Endless years of humiliation and probably a lot of years of therapy. But you've got yourself some tickets to go to a show at the Hollywood Bowl, so it was all worth it, I guess. Toilet Bowl, not good for you.

Hollywood Bowl, you'll be there, Smart List Live, October 17th. Congratulations. Her name was Jess, and she's the winner on KROQ.