Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Give Me Your John Hancock! (FULL SHOW 7/2)

Episode Date: July 2, 2026

Happy birthday, America! We celebrated the Fourth of July the only way we know how: by discovering just how little Johnny knows about the country. Today during Johnny Doesn't Know we asked basic questions about America, including what "give me your John Hancock" means. His answer was gayer than you could possibly imagine. If you're looking to celebrate America in all the wrong ways, this is the episode for you. We also played a patriotic edition of Generation Wars, with Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, and Boomers battling it out for ultimate bragging rights. Plus, Klein shares audio from his sad attempt to score a free Starbucks drink for his half-birthday. I held up the line and ended with a homeless man yelling at him. Meanwhile, Ally narrowly avoided getting sideswiped by a woman driving on the 405, only for the driver to make one of the weirdest getaway moves ever. Plus El Cheapo returns as Ally shares her favorite restaurant money-saving hacks that might just make your next meal a little cheaper.

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Hey, what's going on, Klein Alley?

Are you ready? I love Klein Alley, you little bitch. Klein Alley, it's just okay. Just don't let things bother you too much. Good morning, everybody. Hey, what up, Klein Alley? Whoa, sweet divot snake, did you see that? Meet the Klein Alley Show.

Let's get the show started. The show started. The show started. We are live in Los Angeles. Three, two, one. And here we go. It's Clyde Alley Show. 6.7 KROQ FM in HD Pasadena, Los Angeles, Orange County.

The Sonic Pulse of Los Angeles. This is the world famous KROQ. Hell yeah, USA, USA. Nice win yesterday in some World Cup action. Alley was screaming in her TV. She got all excited about it. I definitely notice I watch the games differently when I'm actually invested in the team. I've just been casually watching the soccer games and been like, oh, this is nice.

Oh, this is fun. They're crying. They're excited. When I was actually watching Team USA, I was like, go! What is going on? Why'd you miss it? What's with this red card? Get your ass together.

I'm like, man, I'm so mean when I actually care. I wish our jerseys weren't so ugly. I would wear one, but they're really hideous. Yeah, they're not good. No offense, but everyone looks like Blind Charlie walking around in his Where's Waldo shirt. Yeah, why did we just do red and white stripes, like wavy ones? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I look at some of these other countries.

They've got nice jerseys. I'm like, I guess maybe I am a fan of Bolivia. I don't know. Like some of the jerseys on the other countries. Our jersey's not cool, and I know a lot of people are wearing them. I see them all over the place. It's actually kind of confusing because, as you know, Blind Charlie, who stands on street corners promoting our show on a regular basis,

he wears the red and white striped shirt just so that he stands out so people don't accidentally hit him with their car because he's blind and he can't see. And that's his way of being like, hey, everyone, can you spot me? Because I can't spot you. And now, with all of the people walking around in the red and white striped USA jerseys. They're all going to think he's a soccer player. Blind Charlie is going to just blend right in.

You don't even notice him anymore, which is not good for us. Dangerous. Not good for him. But good morning and welcome to your Thursday. It's a pre-Quinn. We've got lots to get to this morning, including all that water park access that you could possibly hope for. And also Monster Jam plus whatever else we forgot to give you this week we'll do today. Allie, we've got to start, though, with this message that's been sitting on the GOAT line.

Apparently, you misspoke yesterday. Oh, I'm sure I did a million times. Things are not going well. Yeah, and you made a claim on the airwaves that is, I guess, technically blasphemy. I don't know if blasphemy is the right word. You didn't say alleged, so I guess potentially someone could sue you for saying something that is wrong. Was it defamatory? It may have been even defamatory.

That's maybe the word I was looking for. Defamatory. Hey, you're good at this. Thank you. Well, listen. I would love for you to go to court and say, this is blasphemy! It's not about God, sir.

You didn't say a legend. I rest my case. You tell me if this is defamatory or blasphemy. It could be either one. You decide after you hear it, but I can't believe that we are spreading lies over the airwaves of this fine radio station. What's up, Klein Al?

It's the Bullock Bros. Real quick, just wanted to check in and ask, where the hell are these outrageous and false allegations coming from that we're cousins and not brothers? Yeah, we are a product of my sober and Papa Highlight. We are bonded by Bud Light and our clients show tattoos.

That's right. So you claimed yesterday that you found out the Bud Light bros are not brothers, but they're cousins. I thought somebody told me that. They're claiming that they are 100% cousins. I mean, brothers. Oh, man. That they're bonded by.

You are checked out. Yeah, I'm checked out, guys. Today's going to be a struggle. We have so much time left. Please just fuck off. Is the show over yet? Jesus Christ. So anyway, that's a lie.

No, but I would not have said that if somebody hadn't told me that. Well, I think. Somebody told me that. That's racist on your part. You just assume that they're all just cousins, that they couldn't possibly be brothers. Somebody was like, did you know they're not brothers? I swear I didn't just come up with this. That may have been something we did to mess with you.

Probably. I feel like we said, anyway. They do look more like cousins than brothers. No, they look very similar. No, they do not. They both got the Klein Alley Show tattoos on them. That's similar. Only brothers do that.

They have the same taste in alcoholism. I mean, they could. I'm sorry. I stand corrected. Anyways, when's the next Hank? We miss you guys and our boys, Sammy and Sexy. We want to know whose office we can pass out in next. Maybe Justin the Engineer.

Wayne, sales lady Becky, or we didn't know this. You guys got a brand new couch in the office. It's mighty comfortable. Yeah, I can lay my head on that. We did get a new couch in the back office. How did they know we got a new couch? I don't know. How did they know that?

You can see it from Vanessa's camera on the YouTube, I guess. Oh, okay. And they watch our show on their giant 65-inch TV. It was part of the list of Vanessa's demands. Yeah, Vanessa's demand when the show is doing well, which it's not anymore. She got a new equally ugly couch. We got a couch in the back. This one's nice and comfortable.

A new couch in the back so the Bud Light Bros can pass out there. Oh, and Allie, you don't got none to worry about that Abovian character taking your job. Oh, that girl that Klein's always simping over. Hey, hold on. Let's not say I'm simping on her. All right, I like Abovian. She's great. Maybe one day she comes in here and fills in for Allie when Allie leaves on maternity leave.

Because of her skillset. Well, she doesn't have what you got. So you have nothing to worry about. Bud Light Bros say you have nothing to worry about because she's got nothing compared to you. Your cankles, your hooves that you call feet, your long-ass pretty neck, or your shiny five-head that illuminates the darkest skies. That's beautiful. Your shiny five-head that illuminates the darkest skies. So wait, we went from my cankles to my hooves to my long, beautiful neck.

Long-ass neck. And my five head that glistens in the sun. Yeah, all your imperfections is what makes you a 10, girl. There you have it. Your imperfections is what makes you a 10. I got plenty of them. It's a beautiful thing. Yeah, and by the time your pregnancy is done, you're going to be a 20.

You're a double wide. Oh, my. Hit me with that fork this time. Yeah, there she goes. Anyway, have a safe and happy Fourth of July. Have a monster month. Enjoy your summer break, guys. Love you guys.

Hashtag grow the show. Be the Clown Alley Show. Boy, la bro. It is what it is. All right, let's pay the people, shall we? The very least we can do is give you some money on a thrifty Thursday. Take the money from El Cheapo, please. She needs it, but it could be yours.

And, yeah, things are expensive. They're about to get a whole lot more expensive. Real flex in life is having more kids because kids are pricey. Just in life shampoo alone, I feel like I'm down thousands this year. And teeth, right? Every time I lose a tooth. Oh, my God. Another kid lost another tooth.

And I'm running out of, I don't have cash on hand. Last time I had to put a Visa gift card under a pillow. How much are you giving them? Well, if I had cash on hand, it'd be, you know, a couple, well, it used to be coins. I'd try to find, like, one of them shiny Sacagawea coins. Oh, that's cool. It was only worth a dollar, but it looked like it was fancy Tooth Fairy money, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So that's the best win for me. $2 bills occasionally would go under there because they're like, oh, man, Tooth Fairy's got access to the real currency. It's a special currency. Last time, Tooth came out at, like, 10.30 at night. I had no cash. I wasn't going to run out. reached in my wallet. I think she got like a Visa gift card for like $11.44.

She was pretty stoked about it. She was excited because she's like, Tooth Fairy left me a credit card. I can buy whatever I want. I'm like, well, within reason you can. So then last night, was she, like, is she going to wake up disappointed this morning? I don't know what she's got under there now.

I said, I think I told my wife, throw something in an envelope and get it under the pillow ASAP. Oh my God, you're leaving her up to, it's going to be like a... I don't know what it is. She's got no idea A Birkin bag? Tooth Fairy, wow. Tooth Fairy left me a Birkin.

Wow. That's amazing. So we'll find out. I don't know. But it's gotten, it feels like at this point, her mouth is so jacked up with all the teeth she's losing. And I feel like now I don't even see them come out anymore. She just comes up and shows me, here's a loose tooth in my hand. You think she's playing you?

She could be hustling me. Maybe she's giving you the same tooth. Because it feels like in the last, I don't know, month, there's been like four or five. I don't think. She's getting teeth off the playground? Yeah, look, I think she just presents me with... Listen, kid, I'm going to take your teeth and I'm going to get a piece of gift card, all right?

That's how this works. Yeah, she just comes up and shows me a tooth. I go, all right, throw it under the pillow. No, take my tooth. Let's see what happens. I don't know what's happening, but I feel like I'm getting cooked here. She's smart.

I don't know what's up, but... Isn't she the one that peed in the middle of the floor? Yeah, that's right, because I told her she had to go to her room. Yeah, she's got some good manipulation tactics. It's like too smart. She's outsmarted me already. She's going to prank you too, right?

No, the other one pranked me. So they're both smarter than you. They're both smarter than me. It's a sad day for me. If you'd like Allie's money, call now. 800-520-1067. Five questions about the news. We're going to come back.

We will give you Allie's money. And then we've got a big show in store for you today, believe it or not. And as much as you think that we are checked out because we're thinking about Fourth of July and summer break and all that other stuff, I want you to know that we couldn't possibly be more checked out than Allie was yesterday. And now, a moment with Allie. Are you a thrill-seeker ride? Do you like the water rides, or are you a lazy river person? All right.

Glad I asked. That was a moment with Allie. There you go. Call now, play next, win her money after this. K-Rock, Klein Allie's show. Allie will leave the K-Rock studios in moments. Your chance to battle her for her own money on a thrifty Thursday. A lot of times people leave custom theme songs on the goat line

to try to get Allie all psyched out so she's not feeling great about herself and has a better chance of losing her money to you, the fine people of Southern California that want to take Allie's cash. In this particular case, though, someone has already written a theme song for when Allie's out of here on maternity leave. Hey, I came up with your theme song

for when Allie's gone and Alina is going to be with you. How about this? Hi, Alina. It's way less gay. Oh. Great theme song. So there you go. Everyone is really looking forward to this, aren't they?

Not my wife. I mean, it's nine months away. Yeah, and who knows? And everyone's like, woohoo! Natalie could be one of these women that gives birth at 9 a.m. and is back here working by 10 a.m. Is that what you're hoping for now? Yeah, no time. For your wife's sake?

You don't need any time. I'm going to tell you something about maternity leave. I speak on behalf of women everywhere. Okay. You know, you've gone through, your body's gone through a lot. So you deserve to rest for, you know, an afternoon. Oh. But I think it's important you get back because what you'll realize is being here is way less demanding than being around a screaming newborn.

I actually would disagree with you. Really? Because when the babies are first born, all they do is just kind of sit there. They're just little... You're not going to breastfeed? I might give it an effort. I gave it an effort last time. It didn't really work that well.

I thought you said I could have some of your colostrum. You know, that's the most important... Got to feed the neck. Got to feed my neck. Come on. Give me some of that good stuff. What if I made my placenta into pills? Would you eat them?

Whoa. I would eat your placenta. Oh, that's nasty. All right. We're doing that. What are you doing, man? What if I do a smoothie? I would eat Ali's placenta if it was in pill form.

I would not eat it if it was grilled on hibachi. Well, hold on. I do like hibachi. You do like hibachi. What if I see some properly? I don't know. I'm trying to remember. I feel like I've eaten placenta before.

You ate your wife's placenta. Oh, I did. In San Francisco, yes. That was gross. Let's pitch it to Guy Fieri to come in and work his little magic on it. Here's the deal. That's Giada. I will make a deal, because I find it absolutely disgusting, and I'm nauseous even thinking about this.

If we find, like, a real-deal chef, like one of these, you know, Giada de la Renta or a barefoot... No, because then she'd call it placenta. Placenta. If we find one of these... You want the barefoot Contessa? Isn't she racist? No, no, no. That's Paula Deen.

Oh, let's get Paula Deen. But Paula Deen would probably cover your placenta in butter, and that would probably be delicious. Probably the only thing that can save it is butter and cheese. Vanessa, you have to find a A-list. I'm being serious right now, and I will make this claim, and it's going to be a while before we pay this off. If we find an A-list quality chef, A-list quality. This isn't like someone that works at Chipotle part-time that said they'll come in here and do that. A-list chef, you know, Michelin star.

Or placenta. And they want to cook out. Gordon Ramsay, Wolfgang Puck. Any of those, yeah. Bam. Who's the guy that yells that? Emeril Lagasse. Bam.

Placenta. Bam. I love it. If anyone who does Ali's Placenta, if they're A-list, I will eat it. What about like a famed sushi chef that could give you like a pure version of my placenta over rice with some mizu sauce? Like Nobu guy or, I think we just lost, I think we just had some big famous sushi chef that just died.

The guy who created Katsuya. Yes. He's gone. So he's out. He's out. That's the one guy. If you can get that guy, I'll do it. Say hi to Daniel right now.

Good morning, Daniel. Welcome to K-Rock. Hi. Good morning. Someone asking if I'd eat your placenta if it was covered in gravy. Klein did claim he'd eat anything covered in gravy. It would take more than just gravy, but that's a good start. Daniel, five questions about the news.

Allie will leave the KROQ studios. Your round will officially begin in moments. If you do better than Allie, she'll be forced to pay you $100. Do you want to raise that today, Allie, in honor of? $250. $250 in honor of America. Listen to this. Wow.

In honor of America's 250th birthday. We're going to throw $250 your way. if you beat Allie, okay? Okay. That's a lot better than what you thought you were calling for, so a lot of people are mad at themselves, kicking themselves. I want to call it for $250. Your round starts now.

Please answer these questions accurately. Do not cheat, and let's go. Allie knows the news. Someone pointing out on the text line that Vanessa definitely knows chefs, so that's the perfect person to go out and find a chef for this. Go to question number one. A daredevil couple was arrested for free climbing to the top of what yesterday? Daniel?

Empire State Building. Question two. This K-Rock artist has just officially crowned himself as the greatest frontman of all time. Mick Jagger. All right, Mick Jagger. We're going to question number three to celebrate just how fat this country truly is. Tombstone Pizza has dropped a new frozen pizza where the crust is made of what instead of actual pizza crust? Cheese.

Cheese. More cheese. We go to question number four. E. coli has been detected in the tap water in what L.A. neighborhood, which has forced a boil water warning for residents of that area? East L.A. East L.A. And we go to final question. Question number five.

Governor Newsom has officially declared May 17th a day to celebrate what action icon? It will officially be this person's day on May 17th. This was just announced yesterday, but who is getting their own day? The state of California. Superman. Superman. All right. Let's bring Allie in.

We'll score it together. See what's going on. There's a lot of stuff in the world. A lot of news. World Cup action, of course. The obvious stuff. And then there's the stories that may have slipped through the cracks. We make sure nothing slips through the cracks here.

There's Allie. She's growing a life inside of her as we speak. Sucking the life out of me. Beautiful to witness this happen. Question number one. A daredevil couple was arrested for free climbing to the top of what? The Empire State Building. Can't wait till we break this down a little bit later.

But truly incredible to look at for so many reasons. And the coverage of it was incredible as well. That is the right answer. He got that too. So both of you are on the board. 1-1 early. Playing for $250 to celebrate the 250th birthday of America. We go to question number two.

And it's tied up 1-1. This K-Rock artist has just officially crowned himself as the greatest frontman of all time. Oh, was it Liam Gallagher? He was one of the Gallagher brothers, I think. So Liam Gallagher has said, and it's funny because you guessed Mick Jagger. And he says he's better than Mick Jagger. He's better than any other frontman that's ever been and ever will be. And that is the correct answer.

It's Liam Gallagher of Oasis says that he is the best front man of all time, which may or may not be true. But to call yourself definitely not true. I mean, it would be 100 percent not true of all time. Absolutely. It's definitely a very Liam Gallagher thing to say, though. Yeah, sure. We got a question three. Ali goes up one.

But don't worry. There's still plenty of questions left. Just to prove cause another fight between the two of them. By the way, it by the way, very possibly could. And then they break up for 10 more years. I am. Then they come back for a big money grab again in 2035. Question number three.

Tombstone Pizza is helping us prove that America is by far the fattest country in the world because they have just released a new frozen pizza where the pizza crust is made of what instead of actual crust? Hmm. Donuts? Ah, man, that is American. That's a little ridiculous. He said cheese.

The crust is made of more cheese. I think they've done that before. But in this particular case, they've decided that the world is ready for the first ever garlic parmesan french fry pizza crust. Garlic parmesan french fries? So the crust is just garlic parmesan french fries. And then on top of that, they've mashed those fries together into some sort of a pizza crust looking thing and covered it with cheese and everything else. Thanks, America. That's why it's called Tombstone, because you eat enough of those, that's what you get.

America! We go to your next question. No one gets the point. Alley's still up one with two left. E. coli has been detected in the tap water in what L.A. neighborhood, forcing a boil water warning? Oh, I think that was K-Town, but I can't quite remember. So he said East L.A., and the correct answer is Koreatown. But let me just do some geographical math on this one.

Geographical math? Well, I mean, it is east of here, so I would argue that— It's not East L.A. It's east of where we're sitting right now. East is like east of downtown. Let's call it a push on that one. Okay, come on. I mean, I'd like to keep the guy in the money for a second.

Allie gets the point. Governor Newsom has officially declared May 17th to be named after this man, this action icon, getting his own day in the state of California. Which action icon is getting his own day finally? Is it Arnold Schwarzenegger? Schwarzenegger, no. He thought it was Superman. if you guys aren't thinking big enough. Is it Chuck Norris?

No, but I was thinking it was time. No, it's the great Bruce Lee. Welcome to May 17th, also now known as Bruce Lee Day, officially signed into action yesterday. It's kind of late after the fact, huh? A little bit late. A little bit late.

When did he die? Like 20 years ago? But I think that he is the first Chinese-born American that has a day named after him in the history of the state or something, so it's a big deal. And, you know, I just think that we need to we need to break more boards with our hands. So we celebrate Bruce Lee Day.

Well, sadly, Daniel, Ali did not does not have to give you two hundred fifty dollars. I wish she did. But what must you shamefully admit over the airwaves of K-Rock? Go ahead. Ali knows the news. That's right. So sorry. I was really let down right there.

Just when I thought we'd all get excited and be like, yeah, pay that man his money. Sorry, he didn't know anything. We didn't have to rub it in. Jesus Christ. And he didn't. I got half birthday shamed yesterday. We'll talk about it next. Yesterday, you guys gave me a hard time because I was disappointed that no one wished me a happy half birthday,

also known as a happy birthday. You, of all people, should hate the concept of a happy birthday. I think it's funny. Okay. I think it's better than a real birthday, and you guys challenged me. Off the air, your wife said she was going to get you some Randy Donuts. I don't think that made it onto the air. Was she serious about it, or did she forget?

No, no, there were donuts when I got home. Really? Yeah, the crondont. Whoa. A really good one I like now. Oh, those ones that you eat like five of? The half croissant, half donut. So she didn't forget.

She remembered. She didn't forget. Or she ordered them pretty quickly. Yeah, or, right. Yeah, I don't know what happened. By the time I got home, I said, where are those donuts you claimed you have? Expecting exactly what you expected, Omar, that you would say, oh, I was just kidding or whatever.

And she pulls out this bag of two donuts, crondonts. And I said, wow, that's so excessive. But I ate them both. So your happy birthday present was two crondons? You don't have to do a present for half birthdays. It's just nice to be acknowledged. And you guys said yesterday that why don't I go to a coffee place or why don't I go to a sandwich shop? Well, there were a few places that offer deals for half birthdays.

This is what somebody texted in. There's, I think, a Cheesecake Factory and Yogurtland. I think a few others. So I went in and attempted to drop the half-birthday card to see if it was valued in the real world. I know you guys don't care about it here, but why not? Let's go ahead and start bringing that back to popularity again. Well, if you can get money off, then hey, I'm a fan. Whatever you can do to get a couple of bucks.

This was me walking into a Starbucks to try to let them know it was my half-birthday. And it does sound pathetic. Well, they do give you a free coffee, a free beverage of your choice on your birthday. So I would imagine that on your half-birthday, they could give you 50% off. On my way in, I get accosted by a homeless man who is hoping that I can give him... Hey, it's my half-birthday! Can I get you a little small cup of coffee, please? Yeah, I'll get you a small cup of coffee.

You just want a black cup of coffee? I don't have that. You want a cup of coffee or no? Yeah, a little small cup. So first I'm walking in and the guy says... Why didn't you give him a job, dude? He says, can you get me a cup of coffee? And I said, sure.

And then he goes, actually, what I really need is a job. And I said, I don't have that. Dude, you work in radio. We could always use a homeless guy. You got Johnny here. Yeah, that's a good point. That's how I found Johnny, too. Same exact way.

So I said, listen, do you want the coffee or not? And he did want the coffee. Because a lot of times they said, can you help me get a cup of coffee? Really, what they want is the money. I wonder if he had offered him a job. He's like, you know what I really want? There's a horse. It just keeps going up.

If you give a homeless man a cup of coffee, he's going to want a job. I'm walking in, and now I'm already on the hook for this guy's cup of coffee. That was a homeless man beating me as I walked in. Oh, I thought he was shooting at you. Yeah, no, that's when I opened the door to the Starbucks. How you doing? Hi, how are you? Not too bad, how are you?

I'm good. Today's my half birthday. Hey, happy half birthday. Hey, do you celebrate that here at Starbucks? Just regular birthday. So right away I say Did he give you like a slap like a hey man It sounded like there was some kind of a handshake

Happening I reached my hand out He did not shake it And instead he kind of high fived the counter Oh I see He's like oh my man So I said it's my half birthday do you guys celebrate those And he says we only celebrate actual birthdays

Or something like that So already I was shocked Just regular birthday I'm going to get a large iced coffee with protein foam. Oh, my God. Protein foam. You got to add protein. Stupid.

You got to feed the neck, Allie. You got to feed the neck. It has plenty to eat. I thought you were off of it. When summer started, I thought you were off of it. I know. I need to wean off the protein. I can't go cold turkey off the protein.

Don't these fitness guys, they like bulk up and then they do some kind of a calorie cut? Yeah, not me. Okay. I'm not calorie cutting. The opposite. I'm not doing it. You're just going to keep going. We're going to keep going until I explode.

I'm going to buy that man out there a small cup of coffee. Does he want cream and sugar? So now I'm trying to do a nice thing, and this is the problem. I can't do nice things without it becoming a hassle. I say, I'd like to buy that man out there a cup of coffee. And then she says, does he want cream and sugar? Now I'm inside. This guy's standing outside pacing around.

I don't know what the guy's called. So you have to go out there. So now I have to walk back outside. You should have just get him some protein foam. That guy probably could have used it, to be honest. And now I've got to walk back outside just to go. And I'm holding up a line of people behind me, too, that have already heard me do the whole half-birthday thing. So they're not happy.

And they're like this guy. And now I've got to go out. And this homeless guy that's probably asked every single person that showed up there, hey, give me something, give me something. And I'm the sucker that decided to get him a coffee. Does he want to drink his sugar? He didn't say, but. This music is so loud. It's so loud in there.

I know. not a lot of half birthday celebrations here huh so i'm now trying to bring it back to the reason i'm there which is to see if i get any sort of a hookup for being in the half birthday they have yet to charge me yet so i'm thinking maybe before they ring it up did you also try and plant the fact that you're buying somebody else a coffee like to try and gain their sympathy or their good graces i didn't think about that i wasn't that calculated but it would have been a nice If I'm the barista and I go, this guy just bought a homeless guy a coffee and it's his half birthday, maybe you give him a little something something, you know? He's both a good saint and a man who celebrates.

Not a lot of half birthday celebrations here, huh? No one cares? Just regular birthdays. Regular birthdays only? I feel like the half birthday is very underrated, you know? Turn the music up louder. He decided to put the music up louder. He tried to drown you out.

He said to me, are you planning on celebrating all weekend long, is what he said. Oh, no. Not a whole weekend thing. Just the day. Just the day. I got charged full price, Allie. Full price for my coffee and full price for the homeless man's coffee as well. Now, yesterday was a special day in my house.

It was my cat's sweet 16th birthday. Now, should I go to Starbucks? Yes. Yes, you should. You should. Go right back to that same person and tell them that exact thing. same person in line just go

I don't know if you guys do anything for Kat's 16th birthday which I also made up because I don't know her real birthday right so once again just to show you

we do the stupid things on the show that we say we'll do a waste of everyone's time but apparently you guys are right did that guy enjoy his coffee no as soon as I gave him

the coffee he said what I really threw it in your face he said what I really want is something to eat and then I felt terrible because I thought well dude I'm not going

to get back in that line then why did he start with a cup of coffee Just say, I want some egg bites, or I want to... Yeah, I know, and I would have done all that, but whatever. We move on now. We come back in a moment. ADD News is next on KROQ.

KROQ, Klein Alley Show, live interactive. The number to join us on the text line or the phone is 800-520-1067. If you would like to participate, lots of actions, lots of opportunities to win stuff today, including Johnny Doesn't Know, a little round of gunshot or fireworks to get you ready for the fourth. Some Generation Wars coming up next hour to prove that you are the greatest of all the generations. as the war continues to rage on between Gen Z and Millennials and Boomers and Gen Xers, and we prove who is the best generation every single week right here on the show. Right now, though, let's get into this, your news on KROG. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News.

Well, a couple got engaged at the top of the Empire State Building yesterday. It was elaborate. It was illegal. In my opinion, the bigger you make the proposal, the more likely you are to end up divorced. But these two have a lot in common, which is mainly climbing tall buildings together and taking pictures. In fact, they did so in a Netflix documentary a couple years ago called Skywalkers, a love story. It's a fascinating show. Followed them around as they scaled these giant skyscrapers. This was the news covering this as it happened, and they are watching the proposal happen on live television.

If these people can get up to where they are, that raises a host of security questions. And they've seemingly done it, Kira, without any carabiner or belay ropes. This, oh dear God, Kira, this guy is getting down on a knee, perhaps proposing to this individual. He seems like he was... Oh God. Oh dear God, Kira. That was... the two things he did today this is the worst decision is getting engaged right now i'm not

climbing the empire state building with no safety gear exactly this is he's also proposing with no carabiner or ballet ropes oh my gosh aaron i think that's exactly what could be happening i wish wabc would just move a little bit more around so we could see what he's doing down on his knee show me the rain if it's a proposal it's an elaborate one and I hope she said yes but it is and in their arrest Aaron I hope this is not Taylor I hope this is not Taylor and and Travis but then again he already proposed nevermind throw her off the building the live jokes are just they choose to go off prompter it is never good oh my god when they're doing live coverage so they are being

charged with burglary reckless endangerment criminal mischief violation of local law possession of burglars tools criminal tampering criminal trespass and disorderly conduct and if you watch the sky skywalkers show or move i haven't seen it but they so cool they climbed to the top of this building i think in singapore in that one and they talk about all they because Because the laws are so strict there, they were terrified of getting caught. Because if they get arrested, I think it's like a locked up abroad. Like, you're done, dude. Yeah, it's pretty incredible what they are able to do.

And then once they get up there, they just, there's some, this girl's really good looking, too. It doesn't hurt. They're both good looking. I think the guy probably is, too, because he's all in shape and whatnot. And they're Russian, but they live in Jersey. Oh, is that true? All I know is they get on top of these buildings. And a lot of times they, like, pretty much do full makeout sessions on top of these buildings.

Well, wouldn't you if you got to the top? And they do this full well knowing that they're going to get arrested. Sometimes they know that, like, I'm sure they probably knew yesterday they were going to get arrested. They said we've been arrested before. But a lot of times, like the one that happened on the Netflix thing, they escaped. They got away. They got to the top. They took the pictures.

They did all the stuff. And then they got out. It's pretty incredible. Did they base jump off of it at any point? No, no, no. I think they have to hide. Maybe they just climbed to the top and take pics. In the one that I saw on Netflix, I'm not giving anything away.

At some point, they basically hid. I think they had to hide for days. No way. Yeah, in like one of the under construction floors of the building. Yeah, and they were like whispering in quiet and trying not to draw any attention. Right, they were like looking for them and they couldn't find them. And then they snuck out. It was kind of incredible, to be honest.

I'm into this people. This Catwoman lady, she's hot. I mean, I think this is pretty stupid. Put her on the list of possible replacements for Allie when she's out. Catwoman lady. Catwoman climber lady. That's a hot cat lady. Here's what I find amazing, that you were able to have such a specific hobby.

Right. And then find another person that loves that hobby to the point where you can do this together and live a happy life. Good for you. This was the moment that the cops called in to the chopper pilot and they were drawing attention to what was going on. Yeah, what's all the hoopla going on over there? Two geniuses climbed to the top of the Empire State Building, the top of the spire. Oh, that's awesome. It's a little hot for that, isn't it?

Just the beginning of this week. It's not some worker changing a light, is it? Nah, it's a male, female, dressed in black. They had some flag they were waving when they were up at the top. And he just proposed to her. Ah. Another day in New York. I was going to regret that.

Everyone that found out about the proposal part, they're like, oh. I don't know what their actual flag said, what the message was. I'll tell you. It said, when the power of love beats the power. uh wait when the power of love beats the love of power the world knows peace and i think i look i don't know what all that means because i'm not smart and it sounds like uh you gotta figure out like uh poetry what that means that when people are just trying power hungry a-holes that we're all miserable but i think love can triumph all of the with all of the messaging that's out there

now and this country sucks and that country sucks political this political that uh sending a going doing through all of that just to put a nice flag up there that's promoting love a little bit of love in the world that's good uh you know i don't know i was glad that it wasn't like pita right or some kind of agenda you know or i'm like oh annoying uh an in and out secret menu item is having a bit of a moment right now it's an item that's been around on the secret menu for a while it's been a favorite for a lot of people but now because of the protein craze because you have people like klein getting protein foam on their coffees it's become a go-to for fitness freaks and it is the three patty flying dutchman it's three patties three slices of cheese and the

sauteed onions for buns it's got 44 grams of protein it's got four grams of carbs it's 550 calories it's become this big go-to for gym rats other people are saying hey it's also just word to the wise got 42 grams of fat in it but if you're not worried about fat and you're more about the low carb high protein life it's a good option for you what's my next order gonna be because i have my internet order i've had three patty flying dutchman i gotta give that a shot all right i'll be getting those after the show. How many? That's good to go. How many of these do you think you could put down? Probably two or three of those.

No buns, right? No buns. That's what we're talking about. How many does your neck eat? Two for the neck. Get a puppy patty for the neck, too, on top of that. A puppy Dutchman for my neck. For my neck, please. Brand new hour of the show starts now. This is the world

famous K-Rock. Good morning. It is Thursday. It is the pre-Quend, and it is a BF Thursday for those of you that celebrate, so enjoy yourself some breakfast for dinner and tag us. You will thank us later, I'm sure. Lots to get into. Lots to get into on the show today. Quickly, though, Allie, as you know, the GOAT line usually calls us out when we do things that are incorrect or we say things that are wrong. And I feel bad because we've created, apparently, quite a problem because of our Showvertime episode yesterday. Oh, what did we say? I hate creating drama for the listeners.

Is this about Jake? It is about Jake indirectly. Jake explained to us in detail on the Showvertime podcast yesterday, uncensored, Klein Alley Showvertime. You can download that his on-again, off-again relationship with the succulent girlfriend, as he called her, has come to an end after she broke it off with him. Because he claimed she was too into him that she had to break it off. And I wasn't sure. We called shenanigans on that. Called shenanigans.

I'm too into you. But he did let us know that this girl that he was sleeping with on and off for a while now had a kid. Not Jake's kid, but had a kid. And I assumed, because I did meet a listener at one of our events that has a kid, and she leaves a lot of messages on the go-line. Her name is The Mom Tender. So I just asked, just casually, I said, Oh, Jake, is it The Mom Tender you're sleeping with?

And he said, No. Well, apparently, The Mom Tender said her husband is a big fan of our show and listened. And this has created quite a controversy in their marriage. I don't feel bad about this. Mom's over here. I was listening to the show the time today, and my husband overheard it. Yes, I have a husband. He's a mailman, by the way.

I had no idea she was married because I've seen her at a few of our events, and she's always just rolling around with that kid solo. So I've never seen a man ever. I just see her and that kid, the mom tender. She's brought us gifts before. She brought gifts for my kid. She's very nice. She's very nice, but I had no idea that she was married.

and when Jake said he was sleeping with some listener with a kid, I don't know why I assumed that, I guess we could have more. I just assumed it was her. Now he thinks I'm having an affair with Jake because of the Showvertime episode. I'm sorry. Even though Jake said he wasn't, and now it's a whole issue with us.

Oh. So it's really fun for me. I feel like the show, he thinks I'm too obsessed with the show, and he thinks our daughter is too obsessed with the show. So, yes, no, Jake and I are not in a succulent girlfriend relationship. No. And, yeah. I'm sorry.

I'm going to shout that out to my husband tomorrow on the show live. He's really appreciated to tell him that I've never been intimate with Jake. Yes, thank you. Bye. A lot of women can say that. That's nothing special. We should make those shirts. We should make those.

We don't need to make those shirts. You know what, Vanessa, make a note. Every person in the world can have one. I've never been intimate with Jake's shirts. Those will be available soon at our next hang. And we'll give a special one to Mom Tender as an apology. Yeah, sorry about that. I guess I was just asking questions.

I don't have any inside information, but Jake can confirm that he would take credit for any and all women he's ever been with, and this is not one of them. Right? Right. Right, okay. It's K-Rock for Klein Alley Show. Sorry. someone on the show almost died yesterday uh but they live to tell the tale and uh there's a lot

of close calls i would imagine you probably had a few of them and you go afterwards have a moment where you go whoa that was that was close sometimes it's close and then sometimes it's real close well you don't want to be one of those stories that's like fatal accident on the 405 traffic will be closed and backed up for hours and you're a part of that story my biggest fear is not that i die It's that you're the story. That I create, you know, hours and hours of backup for other people. Especially if it was your fault. My legacy is that I have now shut down the 405 in both directions.

That is, oh. Both directions. That would be. That's so many lanes. Some death. And then people would just, you know, because they wouldn't even know I was the reason, but they would be like, I don't know who caused this, but I hate that person. They would still hate you.

Hate that person. Exactly. I don't want to be that guy. And we all know that when you're on your way home from work, you are in autopilot mode. You're not really paying attention. you're paying attention but you're you could basically do it without really focusing on what you're doing because you do the drive every single day that was the case with me I was on the 405 I was in the left lane I was in the carpool lane I was listening to some podcasts zoning out and

there was a woman in front of me who decided to get over so she's in the left lane she's in front of me this little white car she gets over and since she gets over I start to accelerate so I can go a little faster get home a little sooner were you self-pleasuring or just driving regular just driving regular that day I was I was tired yesterday you know this and then all of a sudden she decides she wants to get back over right when I am passing her so we are right next to each other she decides without blinker i'm just going to go right back to where i was and starts to get over right up in my grill and you know i'm half paying attention but then i start realizing like whoa whoa whoa a car accident is about to happen she's about to side swipe me and then i'm going

to hit the center median and i'm going to flip around this is going to be bad because we're going fast and this is because you are you refuse to ever let anyone in right no no she got over she got into another lane but perhaps ali earlier on at some point which you didn't pay attention to because you don't know you you like to box out you're a big box you did it you did it with me the other day in elena bovian you boxed me right out of that seat next to her you do the same thing box anybody i was minding my business as a single woman in the carpool lane but you've boxed out many people before and when cars try to get in you like do that thing where you speed up a little bit you let them know hey you're not getting in here most of the time when people have their

blinker on they don't even know they have their blinker on they are not aggressive enough to get over when they have space i will give you a hot minute but if you're not going to get over i'm going past you you can then figure out how to get in behind me because i have time and time again let people in and regretted it so she got over i decided to speed up we are equidistant right next to each other starts veering into the lane and i immediately slam on my brakes i start going to the left i'm about to crash into the median next to me i'm thinking this woman is side swiping me and then she realizes what she does at the last second gets back over and looks at me and does this little wave like my bad sorry right and i'm thinking oh my god i i'm pretty sure that there

was impact i think we hit each other at least my mirror there's got to be some damage here because exactly there was some there was some rubbing going on i was thinking in my head i am getting into a bad accident right now this is going to ruin my day i it's going to total my car that's it for my car i was probably within an inch of hitting the the center median it was bad so i'm thinking okay whoa i don't know what happened here but we better pull over and see what's going on she starts pull over for that we need to what do you mean for that seems like there was a nothing there was a nothing thing it was not dude i was also in that left shoulder where there's like debris everywhere things flying around there's cars that are breaking behind me it was a mess

but to try to coordinate a let's pull over situation on the freeway you know that you're about to create a backup now well she starts getting over now she's putting her blinker on she starts getting over into the lane so i'm following her getting over into the lanes and i'm going okay she's just got one more little exit to make we're going to get off on the exit or we're going to pull over and just look make sure everything's okay and then boop she goes onto a connecting freeway and then boom, she's gone. She ghosted me. Completely

deserted me. Do you think that she was trying to give you the illusion that she was going to pull over with you? Yes. And then as soon as you... She bamboozled me and went on a different freeway. And then I was like whoa, whoa. And I tried to look at her, make the eye contact thing like hey, whoa, whoa, what happened here?

And she's just stone cold looking forward. And I mean that little... Couldn't you have followed her onto the other freeway and done a little chase situation? I mean, I wasn't going to go the wrong way on the 101 that would have elongated my day even more and then as we're going i was like did she hit me am i crazy did we really even need to pull over this was almost a very bad accident but maybe everything was fine well that's the that's the part that's wild is that and your heart's racing right when you think especially when you're like bracing for impact like here comes because there's

that moment before where things get real slow if you've ever been like a bad accident yeah and you kind of know here it's coming now we're about this and then boom then you're in it and then I was waiting for that. But then when you get on the other side of that, you're like, whoa, that was crazy. I've done full donuts before driving down. Hit like a wet spot. Car spins completely out of control. You don't know how it's going to end.

Then you end up going the right way again. You have that moment where you're like, are we just fine? We're just moving on from this? Because we're just moving on and no one knows. And I just kept on my commute home, checked my car when I got home. Everything was fine. Well, this should be a lesson to you that you should let more people in. Because you don't realize how many people that probably are cursing at you to themselves

because they're like, that bitch, that stupid Tesla bitch. I didn't, she was never trying to get, it wasn't my job to let her over. I could have let her in, but she would have gone into my car. 949 said I should have just let the person hit me. Yeah, but you probably, I mean, you don't know how that's going to end up though, right? Was she driving a nice car or no?

No. It wasn't like a nice car, no, but she was just some regular lady. And I mean, the fact that she put up the hand like, oopsie. Yeah, well, what do you want her to do? Just that woman thing where you're just like, sorry, oops, that was my bad. I mean, at least she acknowledged that it was her fault. But wouldn't you think you would make sure that if you almost ran somebody off the road,

you would make sure if they're okay? What would you have done? I would have kept going. You would have kept going? Yeah, because of just, as I said, because the worst thing you can do is mess up everyone else's commute. And at that point, if there was no contact and you said you weren't sure if there was contact or not, I would have just kept going. I would have probably thrown her the middle finger maybe or the thumbs up.

I think the thumbs-up we've decided makes people angrier than the middle finger because you're basically more passive-aggressive. We've got to take a break. We'll get back in a moment. When we return, your chance to get bragging rights for your entire generation, 800-520-1067. If you would like to call and play and you are a member of the Gen X, the Millennial, the Gen Z, or a boomer, you can call now and play next. Once again, the number is 800-520-1067. Generation Wars is after this on KROQ. For some reason, us generations just can't seem to get along.

It's KROQ, Klein Alley Show. Every generation thinks the one that came before them. sucks and the one that came after them sucks and they're the only good generation except for the few people that feel like, oh man, I missed my window. Could have been great if only I was born 20 years sooner, 10 years later. For me, it's 200 years sooner.

Allie would have been pasty and big and all very popular, lit by candlelight only. Yeah, when everyone was like fair and round. All doughy and whatnot. They would have burned you for being gay. Yeah, that's true. They would have burned you, Allie, for being a gay lady. A lot of kindling

to burn all of Allie, but anyway. Did you see the news that which generation is the healthiest now? Yeah, it's Gen Z, right? Yeah, Gen Z is the healthiest generation, and boomers are the unhealthiest generation. So it makes sense. Well, boomers are the oldest, but also in some ways, you know, you think about some of the boomers. I don't know if my parents, I guess. My parents, I think, are they boomers?

No, maybe they're a generation before boomers. No, they're probably boomers. Yeah, my parents are boomers. I feel like they didn't have good stuff. Like when they grew up, like the only candy they had was like licorice. So now they have access to all this good stuff. So they're making up for lost time because when they were a kid, they got like a piece of hard candy or a licorice. So now I feel like they're like, oh, Twix, Snickers, all the good stuff.

It's funny to see boomers or just old people in general navigate vegetables. Like my father-in-law is like, why would you? I made Thanksgiving dinner one night and he said, why would we ruin a perfectly good Thanksgiving with vegetables? He's not wrong. And then it's like they just think a few leaves of lettuce on a salad is like their vegetables for the day. And we heard that story from Al Michaels. Never had a vegetable in his life. Guy's never eaten a vegetable.

The great Al Michaels. Even on the GOAT line, there's an argument happening between boomers and kids. Listen. My 13-year-old just called me a boomer because I listened to your show on the radio. He said he wakes up early enough to listen to it on the radio, but he refuses to. He only listens to the podcast. So that's interesting. So this guy is the dad, and he listens to our show on the radio.

The kid also listens to our show, but listens to it only in podcast form. There's still things to fight about. Yeah. He is close, not the boomer. So, yeah, now I'm sad. I feel old. Yeah. I put my pants and I don't have any underwear.

That's a Vanessa quote right there. Thank you for sharing that. And a boomer quote. Let's get into it. It's time for a Generation Wars battle on KROQ. KROQ. All right. All the generations are representing today on KROQ.

Good morning. And we say good morning to our boomer from, wow, look at this, 1947. This is Bobby. Bobby claims that he plays guitar. The first guitar. Hey, what's up, Bobby? Welcome to K-Rock. Good morning.

Hey, good morning. How you doing? Doing fine. Thank you for listening to the show and representing boomers. Mostly boomers that call in are usually calling from the 50s or 60s to get someone from the 40s. Incredible. Well, let me tell you something, okay? First of all, that message you heard on the top of the Empire State Building, that was from Jimi Hendrix.

Right. Thank you. Thank you. You are a boomer. Story checks out. Thank you for that. Thank you. That's Boomer.

If you know the answer to Ali's questions or any of the questions, like if the question is what does POV stand for, I'm sure you know that, right, Boomer? Yep. Wouldn't you like to know? Okay, well, whenever you have the answer, you yell out Boomer. Wait for Ali to call on you, and let's go ahead and see if you can win this thing. You'll be battling, though, three other generations that also think they are the best. And we say good morning to our Gen Xer, born in 1977. This is Naomi.

She's a white lady with dreads. Good morning, Naomi. Good morning. Thank you for joining us on KROQ and representing all of Gen X today on this Generation Wars. What is the best part of being a Gen Xer? Knowing everything. Yeah, you know everything. You get to live a life, an analog life, a digital life.

And we say good morning now to our millennial. This person was born in 1983. They get a lot of tattoos, and their name is Frank. Hey, Frank, representing millennials, good morning and welcome to KROQ. Hi. Good morning. How's it going, guys? It's going fine with us.

If you know the answer to the question, you must lock in by saying, what are you, a millennial? And Allie will call on you, and then we say hi to our Gen Z representation, Allie. She's a big fan of SpongeBob. Of course, just like Johnny. As is most of Gen Z. She was born in 2003. So just in our contestant pool, we have someone born in 2003 and someone born, I've got to do some basic math here. Hold on, carry the wand.

That's 56 years before that. That's crazy. This is Summer, born in 2003. Good morning, Summer. Good morning, guys. What's up? What's up? What's up?

What's the best SpongeBob episode? Probably, I'd have to say the one where they're selling chocolate. That one's always a good classic. Yeah. Johnny, would you agree? Chocolate! Yeah, Johnny likes that one. They're selling chocolate!

Yeah, Johnny's excited. Oh, man. That's a conversation I would not want to hear. All right, let's get into it. That's it. I think we just heard it. I think we just heard all of it. That was it.

All right. Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate. Guys, here we go. Let's get through these questions together. It's time now for Generation Wars. Which shaving brand uses the famous tagline, the best a man can get? Millennial. I heard Millennial first, I think.

That was almost a tie, but by a second. Millennial, go ahead. Gillette. That is correct, on the board early. clark riswald wanted to drive his family across the country to visit what theme park gen z gen z go ahead uh wally world wow good job stealing the question that i never would have thought gen z would have gotten and we move on to your next question in generation wars which toy company had a massive commercial hit in early 2010 with its ads about plush squishy pets

that turned from square into cylinder? I know you'll know once I say it. Mom, remember you got this. Orthopedic pillow. No? All right, no one has an answer. Wait, Gen Z or no? Yes, Gen Z, go ahead.

Wait, you said it was in 2010? Yep. Oh, never mind. I thought it was a squishmall. Pillow pets. These were pillow pets. Pillow pets. If you remember, Allie, there was like a Velcro strip.

If you opened them up, they became pillows. But if you stripped them together, they were back to pets again. It was like an as-seen-on-TV product. Yes, we actually have one of those. We move on. Here we go. Guys, moving on. Which breakfast cereal featured a commercial where the phrase was,

Mikey likes it? Gen X. Gen X, go ahead. Life. Life is correct. Hey, Boomer, who are you talking to, Bobby? Hold on, we've got to get you somebody from plumbing. Come on, because I'm a cashier.

Bobby. Hello? Bobby the Boomer. Who are you talking to? Tax support? I'm talking to a customer. Oh, are you working right now? Yep.

Oh, all right. Boomers, they work until they die. They really do. This guy can't take a break. Where do you work? Stupid radio bit. Where are you working right now? I work at the depot.

The depot. Just the depot. Moving on. Next question. Guys, MC Hammer was too legit to what? Gen X. Gen X. To quit.

That is correct. Too legit to quit. It's Generation Wars on K-Rock. Bobby, I'm sorry to worry. Hang on, Bobby. No, I like Bobby doing his job while he's playing the game. I think this is great. It works for all parties involved.

Nothing confusing about it. Next question. Which brand of denim jeans featured... Oh, my God, Bobby. I got to do it. Bobby, I like you, dude. But we've got to move on. It's too much.

I mean, I can't believe someone's actually this helpful at Home Depot. It's remarkable. I feel like anytime I need anybody, there's nowhere to be, nobody, anywhere to be found. Yeah, because they're all playing Generation Wars with us. Which brand of denim jeans features an iconic horse logo on the back pocket? Gen X. Gen X. DoorDash.

You know, it's funny. The answer I have is Wrangler, but I actually think she's not wrong either. I'd have to look that up, but I do believe that there were multiple different genes that had horse logos. It is Wrangler. Wrangler was the answer I had, Allie, but did Jordache not also have a horse logo? Because if not, I cannot accept her answer. They do. Congratulations.

You're going to slide in with a point there, even though that was not the answer I was looking for. And we move on, Allie. What's the current score in Generation Wars? Okay, so Gen X got that point, correct? Yes. Okay, that would be three points for Gen X. One for Millennial, one for Gen Z. Everyone's still in it with only five questions left.

What noise did the Pillsbury Doughboy make when you pushed his tummy? Gen X. Gen X. Millennial. That is correct. I will accept that as a right answer. We move on to your next question now. It's Generation Worse.

How many minutes in heaven would you spend if you were making out in a closet? Gen Z. Millennial. Gen Z. I think it was Gen Z, yeah. Seven minutes. Seven Minutes in Heaven. Is that still a popular game?

I played it with a few friends in high school. You did play it. Still Seven Minutes in Heaven? Yep. What goes on in the closet? Still make-outs, or does it go better than that? I don't know. It's different between different people.

We just look at our phones. The saddest part is one time I remember in middle school, I got the Seven Minutes in Heaven thing with a girl, and I said, now it's go time, you know, and she says, we're just going to stand here and count. And I said, are you serious? Are you serious? Yeah, you're like, we're just going to tell them we made out, but we're not going to.

But we've got to kill seven minutes. Let's just go for it. What are we going to do? She goes, nope, just counting. Seven minutes of making out is so long. That's a lot of making out. All right, we go on to this next question. It's Generation Wars.

Currently, it's anyone's game. Who is the original face and voice behind the great Jell-O pudding pops? Gen X. Gen X. Millennial. Wasn't it Cosby? It was Bill Cosby. millennials got answers but it's getting in just millennial you're buzzing in but just a tad too

late and we go to this next question now in generation wars this is exciting this is exciting cuckoo princess wise owl and valentino are all what princess cuckoo wise owl and valentino are all what gen z go ahead gen z i thought it was i looked candy brand mascot no i didn't want to steal valentina wise owl princess and cuckoo are all what yes gen x under the wire what's up they're a doll but i can't remember which kind of Correct answer is Beanie Babies. Those are all Beanie Babies.

So sadly, no one gets the point on that one. I just did a value check, and apparently all the Beanie Babies I have are worthless. Oh, really? Yep. All that whole collection you took from your dead grandma are worthless? Well, I only took four or five, but apparently everyone thinks they're worth something, and they're all worth nothing. Oh, man, that sucks. Yep.

All right, we go to this next question now. It's Generation Wars, and there's only two left, Allie. And what is the score right now? Does it even matter? Well, I think Gen X has got it. One, two, three, five points for Gen X and two for Gen Z, one for Millennials. Which supernatural horror film was a master class and found footage after some hikers lost it while traveling in Maryland in the forest? Gen Z.

Yes, Gen Z. Is it like the witch trials? Oh, man. Millennials. Yes, Millennials. The Blair Witch Trials. That is correct on the board. props to Gen Z for knowing some of that

our boomer was around for the original witch trials in Salem that's how my mother died they thought she was a teacher so they burned her and we go to this next question and this is the final question and I don't even think it really matters at this point but let's go ahead and give it to you anyway

because we spent the time to write them so might as well Allie I don't think it matters because we think Gen X has won this thing Is that correct? Well, Gen X, yeah, really has one. But you can ask one more just for the fun of it.

Here's the question, guys. According to this commercial, what is Milk's favorite cookie? Gen X? Gen X? Chocolate chips? No. Dang it. Gen Z?

Yes, Gen Z. Oreo? Yeah, that is. According to Oreo, they are Milk's favorite cookie. millennial we say goodbye to you it now means that even though everyone got a few of those right and we got through a boomer that was working his shift at home depot we congratulate our winner in this round of generation wars a white lady with dreads is bringing all sorts of glory to gen x from 1977 naomi congratulations the winner of generation wars what message do you

have hope for your generation oh we got this oh this is so exciting thank you and of all of the songs we play on k-rock which one would you like us to play right now that best represents your generation oh back i'm a loser baby all right here we go up it's new sublime it's sublime k-rock we are klein alley show lots of ways to get involved with us if you'd like to go travel to all them water parks. Oh, we got a lot of them. Which is the one you went to, Allie? Because apparently you had a great time, you and Vanessa. Vanessa and I went to Wild Rivers, and we had a great time. That's

in Irvine, and I had never been to a water park in Southern California. I had a great time, and they took great care of us. It was cabana time at Wild Rivers. So we will get you into, listen to this, four packs of tickets for you to go to Wild Rivers. You could probably be in the exact same lazy river that Allie and Vanessa were in.

Yellow Cabana No. 7. Not Soak City and Six Flags Hurricane Harbor, los angeles tickets to all of those water parks will be yours in about 15 minutes we'll do that every hour all day long until everyone is nice and cool this summer on k-rock of course you can always let us know what you think of the show good bad or otherwise on the goat line here's someone with actually a compliment believe it or not i love the freaking baby bit bro that is honestly you know my favorite thing while she was pregnant last time and then when she left maternity leave and that bit was gone and i was like the only thing i missed like i just wanted

that bit back so bad does that make you sad that the only thing the guy missed when you were gone last time for maternity leave was the baby bit where we talked to your unborn baby it makes me sad and insulted and there was nothing else after you know when she went on the leaf that you know i thought i missed uh but no it was just a bit that's just keep this going i literally fall out laughing love you guys bye we don't really have time now because we're supposed to take a break but could you could you hold the microphone no down to your stomach i'm not gonna do this i'll just turn it up man yeah thank you omar wow we have the technology omar's gonna we do have the technology so i think it's the voice omar's gonna turn up the powerful microphones

here ali everyone can be quiet here we can listen to record stuff and pitch it up you can listen to what's happening inside of ali's stomach right now with her unborn baby hey baby what's going on in there hello i'm glad i'm not in your mommy's tummy or i would get tsunamied by steve oh god i didn't think about that you know what he's a funny kid he's glad he's not your mommy's tummy because if he was in the throat goats tummy it would be a uh it would be a real raging rivers there this weekend huh it's quite a leap you made yep a bit of a leap you know if i knew that we were going to bring this bit back i wouldn't have gotten pregnant well it's so funny birth control That's so stupid.

That's why we do this. Get in the jacuzzi. Yeah, Allie, you can still do it. You just got to get on a trampoline or a jacuzzi or something. Get that baby. You can take care of that. There are ways to do it. You want to take care of this bit for real?

If you really hate this bit, there's ways to do it. Do you promise that you would kill the bit if I kill the babe? No. No, we're going to keep the bit. We're just going to talk to the baby from heaven. This is what the bit will sound like instead. It's going to be a similar bit. It'll just be like.

Yeah, it'll sound. It'll sound scrambled. It'll sound like this. We'll say, yes, hello, up there in the skies. Is this Allie's unborn baby? Is there anything you'd like to say from the heavens? I'm glad I'm not in your mommy's tummy. This doesn't make any sense.

Or I would get tsunamied by Steve. Hi. Okay, thank you. Thank you. Enjoy the clouds. I'm glad up there it can still go. The bit still works. It works, Allie.

The bit's here. We've got to take a break. When we get back, we won't do that anymore. I promise you that. Get you into water parks. Make it worth your while. Of course, Monster Jam in your future as well. and your news after this.

There's some miles of Lazy River in your future, but first your news, then we get you into multiple water parks in Southern California. That'll happen just after 9 a.m., so coming up in moments here on KROQ. But first, there's this. Grab your Adderall.

It's time for ADD News. All right, so this couple who got engaged at the top of the Empire State Building are getting attention for many reasons. It's bringing up a lot of questions about the building security in the area. How were these people able to get to the top of the Empire State Building

without any security finding out or stopping them before they reached the top. They still don't even know how they got up there, which is wild because why wouldn't there be a thousand cameras covering the Empire State Building at any given time? It's also bringing up questions about proposals, mainly people shaming their husbands for proposing to them in a public bathroom rather than the top spire of the Empire State Building.

And I feel bad now because the pressure is on for anybody who is about to propose to their partner and just has a few rose petals sprinkled in the living room. This is the moment that the cops confronted the couple at the top of the Empire State Building to arrest them. How you doing? Well, you can't be up here. All right.

Yeah, I'm okay. Rob, come on up. Give me this. It's open over there. Just bring her over there so he can come down. What language do you guys speak? Russian. All right.

It was a very cordial arrest, I think, and they were all very cordial and expecting that they were going to be arrested. That cop seemed terrified because these guys... Well, he's at the very top. I know, of course. And he's out of breath. He's going to climb all the way to the top. I mean, that's one of those things.

And then arrest somebody. You don't want to be the cop that's on that call. Like, who wants to deal with the people on top of the Empire State Building? Like, oh, man, can we give that to the rookie? This guy went up there. He was a bike cop, too. Well, and how do you get to where they were at? Well, apparently that...

I don't know if this is true or not, but originally when they had built the Empire State Building, They had an area that was going to be a loading dock for blimp travel. Cool. People that were going to get, rich people that were going to travel by blimp were going to get picked up. You know a lot about blimps, man. I love blimps, dude. Yeah, I know you do.

My favorite mode of transport. Never been on one, but I love looking at it. And boy, you better believe I've almost crashed my car a million times when I see that Goodyear blimp fly by. See, I'm a shipper and you're a blimper. I love blimps, but originally they had a loading area at the top of that because that's how they were going to pick up and drop people off that were traveling by blimp. So there's a floor that you can't get to. It's 103rd, I believe. You can take a tour up to the 102nd floor, and then I think you can pay for a VVIP tour to go one floor higher.

But for them to get out, break free from the tour, and then get to where they got to, that's just ingenuity. Dedication. Well, think about all the people that have proposed on the Empire State Building, just where the general public is. Regular observation deck. And then now, if anybody proposes, it's going to be like, look up. Right. They did it better. They did it better.

They went to the very, very top. I'm such a pussy that I get even watching the video of what these guys did. Makes you sick. I can't even look at the video. I'm like, I'm too scared to watch the video. Well, even some of the other videos of them climbing other skyscrapers, and they're just like taking selfies, holding hands, walking on the roof, like very thin beams where if you lose your balance, you are done.

It's dead. One gust of wind up there, it's game over. What about a gust of wind? There are plenty of them down here on street level. They're not thinking about that, but it's funny that Allie was talking about it. She almost died yesterday just driving on the 405 because the car tried to get into her lane. And these guys were hanging out, making out, and proposing on the tippy top of the Empire State Building. I know.

We learned from the Bud Light Bros yesterday that diarrhea is the best work excuse you can use. And you're in luck because there's a new type of explosive diarrhea going around, which also means you have a fresh new batch of excuses. An intestinal illness that can cause explosive bowel movements is on the rise right now. Here's what to know about cyclosporiasis. It's caused by a parasite, usually from eating or drinking contaminated food or water. It can also happen from consuming water in a pond or lake or at a water park. All the fun places that you're going to be this summer.

So far, the CDC has received reports of 145 cases of cyclosporiasis, 17 states. In 17 different states. That does sound explosive. Sounds pretty explosive. But if you're saying the explosive diarrhea thing, you have a new reason to say, hey, more explosive diarrhea, different kind. What's the term for that one, though? Because it sounds, if you use the medical term, it sounds like more. An intestinal illness that can cause explosive bowel movements is on the rise right now.

Here's what to know about cyclosporiasis. Cyclosporiasis. Sporiasis. It's like I have cyclosporiasis. Yes, remember it now. I can't come in tomorrow. Let's all practice this. I can't make it in today.

I've got psychos... Psychosopiatist. You can't make it in. It's the worst game password. And then when they look it up, first of all, it sounds official because it sounds like that's what you were diagnosed as. It's way better than saying explosive diarrhea. Cyclosporiasis. Cyclosporiasis.

Definitely sounds cooler than... Psychosomatic. I've got to remember that. Don't mess my head up. We talked yesterday about what America's biggest contribution has been over its 250-year history. And there's another discussion going around, not about the biggest contributions, but about the most American animal of all time. Explosive diarrhea. That's right.

That's it. That's our greatest contribution. Thank you, Bud Lighthouse. So there's a lot of discussion about it because, yeah, you would think that the bald eagle is the most American animal. But then cases are being made for the American bison or just a horse. Good old fashioned American wild horse. The liger. The liger coyotes.

Even the raven, the turkey, which is a very big American celebration. We celebrate with a turkey every single year. Rats, just because those are just taking over every single part of America. So what is the most American animal? I mean, obviously, the one that fills me with the most pride is the bald eagle. But that's just because we were born to believe that that is. How about that groundhog that looks at its shadow every year? Pucks a Tommy Phil.

Yeah. Yeah, why is he not on the list? That's an American thing that we do, that only we do. It's pretty stupid. We all go to Gobbler's Knob. But coyotes are a big news story every single day, pretty much, and they're getting more and more confident. But are roaches only American, or are they worldwide? They've got to be worldwide, I would think.

They're everywhere on the planet. I think the American bison is actually classified as the official mammal of America. Oh, really? Yeah. You're full of facts today, huh? I am full of information. blimps and blimps and bison

noticing a theme here guys alright color 20 let's get you into one of them water parks so you can enjoy some of that psychosomatica that we talked about a moment ago I'm sure they don't have that at these fine water parks in Southern California we'd love to get you in right now

if you are color 2800 5201067 come back kick off a brand new hour of the show and give away these tickets next this is the world famous J-Rock what a day to be alive congratulations

U.S., World Cup, moving on. Mexico, World Cup, moving on. Round of 16. Mexico versus England will be an interesting match. That'll be good. Are we playing Belgium next? Why are you guys talking like you guys care all of a sudden? I kind of care now.

What the hell is happening here? What? All of a sudden, you guys are experts? If the U.S. gets to the round of four, I will start caring. Okay. Fair enough. I'm kind of into it now that the knockout stage is here. I thought the free kick was pretty exciting.

I thought the match sucked. At least I now understand what we're, at least now, all the other stuff I didn't really understand. It was too many numbers involved. Now we're in a place where I kind of get it because now we're back to like March Madness rules for the most part. I do have more notes, though. Why won't you ever do a close-up? It's always the far, it's like the entire field. And all the players are like these tiny little ants that can barely see the ball getting kicked around.

And I understand you want to have this bird's eye view, but like do a couple of jump cuts. Let me see the action a little bit closer every once in a while. Yeah, I mean... I can't tell who's who. People want to watch plays develop, and if you zoom in on anyone, you miss the action. All those brown folks look the same to you? Is that what you're saying, Allie? I can't even see the numbers.

I can't see anything. Allie's saying, quote, all those brown folks look the same to her. If you're just joining us this morning on KROQ. We say good morning to caller 20, which puts us on Samantha in Los Angeles, California. Samantha, good morning. Good morning. No way. You are going to go to not one, not two, but three water parks this summer.

Four tickets each water park, so get ready. to pack your summer with lazy rivers and water slides, wild rivers, not-soaked cities, Six Flags Hurricane Harbor, Los Angeles, and those are all yours. Congratulations. Yes, thank you so much. You're very welcome. I would say that's the most fun thing happening this summer, but we learned yesterday that Allie's mom and her husband Steve, husband number three Steve,

is going to have the most fun summer ever when they go away to Hawaii because they've already decided that they're going to have hotel sex. A whole video up on our Instagram about it. A lot of people are sharing it and saying it's the most awkward, uncomfortable, and funny thing they've ever seen. I also had to get a weird FaceTime from them yesterday with them both sitting on the couch and Steve's arm around my mom. So I really loved the segment today. Oh, boy. Really? Like laughing. That was pretty funny.

I was like, uh-huh. All right. Anyway, moving on. This guy's got an interesting theory about your stepdad and his sex life with your mom, Allie. And I think you, of all people, will appreciate that one of our listeners put this much thought into their theory. Good morning, Klein Allie. Hey, Sue Tibbets. um ally this is a call about your stepfather steve i'm calling bs on the entire scenario specifically i'm calling bs on your mom here's the deal your mom has an acquired talent that every man on earth absolutely craves they can very easily how does that make you feel

every man on earth craves your mom's talent and we assume that she's great at this because she's I had so many husbands. Guys, my nausea is not... Absolutely crazed. They can very easily get out of the airport, get in the rental car, 15, 20-minute drive to the Airbnb. She can take care of Steve. They can walk in with smiles on their faces and go about their business and never skip a beat. It's your mom that needs to have the quickie before unpacking, etc.

So she's saying it's not that... This guy's theory is Steve isn't the one who needs his medicine. It's your mom who needs it. What do you think about that, Allie? That's not... She doesn't need any medicine. She needs amazing. She sounds like she's the one who is sick and needs to be cured.

She's blaming it on Steve. She's trying to be the good wife. No, she's not. She's trying to be all nice and caring, but it's your mom who needs it. It's not Steve. Have a good day, guys. So why don't you go ahead and think about that for a moment to go with your morning sickness. No, Steve needs his medicine, and my mom just needs an American spirit.

Those are the needs. All right, well, now we got it. We get into this, and then a brand-new hour of the show starts now on KROQ. Good morning. KROQ, my alley show. I'm never usually happy when someone loses their job, especially in this industry, because it's not an easy industry to work in and to stay in. It's difficult, and, you know, it's the constant.

The only thing that's been constant, at least since we started doing the show, is that everyone's constantly getting laid off, fired, reassigned. We get a lot of emails around here that say it is with mixed emotions or bitter sweetness or whatever the hell they say, where we've shown so-and-so the door and they're out of here. And it's rough, and it sucks to lose a job because we've all been there before. Allie and I got fired before on Christmas Eve. We got fired again before our second show even started. Before our first show even started.

We got fired before on our first day of job when we were supposed to work in San Diego. And they told us on the first day, you're not going on the air today or probably ever. So that sucked as well. But in this particular case, I think we should take a moment and talk about someone that was recently just fired from this company, someone that tried to get us fired, someone who's made it their mission to not let us be the morning show on KROQ. I believe this was the person who said, you're not the guy. I'm not the guy. That was his quote. Klein is not the guy.

And he had lots of meetings behind our backs with lots of people, including. Well, I thought it was the other guy who said that. No. They agreed. Oh, man. I didn't know it stemmed from Steve. Yeah, Steve was the guy. Steve was the guy.

Who said he wasn't the guy? So Steve was forced upon us. This was years ago, and the show was just getting off the ground. He was our, quote, talent coach, and he gave us all of the tricks we had to do if we wanted to be a successful show, and his ideas pretty much all sucked, and we didn't do any of them. The one that Omar pissed off? Yes. Boy, Omar hated him right out of the gate.

Do you remember when he would make us do a little homework where we would have to journal about our weekends, and then we would have to present our journal to him and then he would use the first five minutes of the meeting to do his own weird bit where he's like, I was buying another collared shirt, okay? I went to the store to buy a collared shirt. This guy is an example of a lot of people

where he was a failed radio personality that his show sucked and then he decided, well, if I can't do it, I'll just try to teach other people how to do it. And I've talked to quite a few people he's worked with in the industry and they all say,

he's a snake oil salesman and he gives everyone the same playbook and if the shows do well, he takes credit and if the shows don't do well, he blames the people. He tried to get us fired many times. He tried to hire our replacements out from under us.

He even went so far as to post stupid things on his personal Facebook page looking for, I mean, there was some post he put up that said, K-Rock in L.A. needs a good morning show. And I'm sitting there reading this going, we are the morning, what the hell is this guy talking about? So the guy was a real P.O.S. He has just been apparently relieved of his duties at this company. And once again, I don't wish bad on anyone usually. And there's people on my enemy list. He was definitely on there.

But I will say that, you know, he sends out these lists, Al. We've talked about these before. These are Steve's pet peeves. Before you get to the list, I'm bringing up an old email where Steve boiled down some of our personality traits based on our meetings. Oh, really? Yes. So he said, as we search for stories to tell, here are some things that I learned from the meeting that are boiled down into a spreadsheet. Oh, God.

Klein, husband, no sex in a while. Bets on sports. Sarcastic. Male. Educated. Jewish. Educated? He put educated on my list?

And a big city guy. Are you a big city guy? Allie. Used to be fat. Pragmatic. Likes cats. Future fat again, by the way. Lesbian.

Played sports. Frugal. Likes to hike. Clumsy and forgetful. Where did these... Omar. DJs on the side. owns real estate

is an entrepreneur and a person of color. Person of colors on there? Are you for real? Yes. What? You got to check the boxes, man. I guess.

You got to check the boxes. You responded to this email and said, feel free to add future fatty to my chart. Oh. That's funny. Yeah, I do remember

that when he did force us to start journaling, the first, he asked me to send my first journal entry and I said, some idiot made me go out by a journal.

That was the first entry I put in the journal and he did not like that at all. He didn't like when we called him out on his BS. Yeah, he didn't. He was very sensitive which I didn't realize

because he was so like, hey, everyone just shares everything here and we're all just being honest. Let's get to the truth of your personality and radio and life. And I know this seems self-serving and everything we're doing now

would go against his rules of radio. We're definitely in Steve's pet peeves right now because we're making it about us instead of about the listener. But I will say that if you've ever worked for someone that had the power over your future and you knew that they were making terrible decisions that were going to affect you in a bad way

and you didn't have the power to do anything about it, it really sucks. It's a very helpless feeling that I'm sure you can relate with. And I do recall a few back and forths where we basically said, you've got to make a decision. We're not working with this guy anymore at all, so if that's the play, then we're out. And luckily, K-Dub, our boss, came back when he did

because it's the only thing that gave us any ability to keep doing the show that we wanted to do for you. All he wanted to do was make K-Rock like every other stupid morning show in the country. Right, and we were trying to make that point that, well, this is very different. K-Rock is different. It's always been different. It will always be different. It's why K-Rock is what K-Rock is. It's the one reason why K-Rock is universally known, loved, and or hated, but universally known.

It has its own clear identity. And for us to try to do some stupid bit that you're doing in Tuscaloosa because it's working there, we're not doing that in Los Angeles. I'm sorry. And it wasn't about helping us come up with our own ideas. It was about, hey, why don't you share your life? Okay, now here's a game that works really great in Idaho. And we had to listen to hours and hours of the world's worst radio.

And he would play it for us and then say, now you guys go do this. And we go, I don't want to do that. And then during one of the meetings, he said, you need to get into the game within five seconds, just like they do on Wheel of Fortune. And Omar said, hold on a minute. Are we trying to be Wheel of Fortune? And he got very upset about that. Steve, thank you for your continued support of this show from the very beginning. I know that we couldn't be where we are today if it was not for you

and all of your amazing insight into how radio works. And I greatly appreciate every moment you spent with us. And I feel bad for all of the other shows that you've probably bamboozled along the way as well. You can add us to your list of pet peeves. Yeah, it's funny. One time I remember he took a bit we did. I think we recalled your sister, your hot sister. and he put it on his website.

He's like, another one of my successful shows. And I think that was a bit he told us to stop doing. He's like, don't call Ali. And then he made it seem like it was his idea. Yeah, that was so cringe. And then he, didn't he put out an ad on Facebook? Yes, yes. For our jobs.

Yeah, looking for us. But anyway, there's a long list of things that he doesn't like in radio, and I think we've probably broken all of those in this conversation. But thank you for continuing to listen, to support, to put up with us, to get us to where we are today here on KROQ.

According to Steve, we're not supposed to make jokes about 69. Yeah, here's one of his pet peeves. Read this. Can I get Omar? I know Vanessa says we're now late. Can I get some dramatic music as I read you one of Steve's pet peeves? Yeah, hold on. This is what he doesn't like in radio.

Okay, hold on. And then I'll take a break, Vanessa, I promise. I know we've got Johnny's Johnny Doesn't Know coming up in a moment. Chance for you to win your way, Monster Jam coming up. If you want to play, you can call 800-520-1067. That's a tease, by the way. He doesn't like what we're doing right now either because we're stalling the giveaways.

Here we go. When something suggestive... This is the song you picked. When something suggestive is said, like, quote... I can change it. Let's see what this one is. Steve would have never let this happen. There we go.

This is Steve's pet peeve, number 6A. when something suggestive is said like it's 69 degrees right now outside don't let the show devolve into bad versions of beavis and butthead by laughing at the stupid 69 joke just say it and move on to whatever you have next or change the temperature to 70 or 68 so it doesn't allow your doesn't really say oh yeah oh yeah because it doesn't want it to be funny i'll read you another of Steve's Pet Peeves. Vanessa likes these. Don't use words like upchuck,

throwing up, poop, vomit, or what I call stop listening words. Instead, say things like, instead of saying I was up all night barfing, you can say I'm sick to my stomach. The audience knows what you're saying and you're not using cringy words that will make a portion of your audience turn away

because they're too graphic. That's another Steve's Pet Peeves. All right. I just feel like this waters down natural speech. It's the problem with radio. But guys like that are the problem. And thank you for putting up with us. We'll be right back with some of your tickets for you to go to Monster Jam.

Johnny doesn't know after this quick break. I'm down. I'm K-Rock. We are Klein Alley Show. We are together today. And we will continue to give you stuff right now. Nothing more America than Monster Jam tickets. That is happening on July 17th.

Great seats still available at AXS.com. Monster Jam at Crypto.com Arena. I believe, Allie, we were at Monster Jam. not too long ago and uh it's always a good time see them trucks flip over sparkle smash it is made me proud to be an american in a moment you'll be proud to be an american as we get into a little round of johnny doesn't know america although uh someone says johnny doesn't know it's time to retire this bit you know i think johnny doesn't know is way too played out of a segment and uh should be retired but i think it should be i i think it it should be changed out to therapy time

with Johnny with relationship counseling because his deciphering of the breakup text that Jake received on the show over time, that was freaking spot on and yeah, I think obviously he's

probably the best on the show as far as dating advice goes and I think that that should be a regular segment. That was pretty good and that was underrated. So in the show over time podcast that happened yesterday, you can download it wherever you get your podcast. Jake shared with us some breakup text messages that he received.

Although he didn't realize they were breakup messages, but they clearly were. And Johnny explained exactly what they meant, you know, what was really being said. He noticed three red flags

within the message. And yeah, he was very astute about his observations. We may have to add that to the list of things we do around here, dating advice with Johnny.

Right now, though, still not retired, it's time for Johnny Doesn't Know America. Here we go. Johnny doesn't know. And I was like, okay. Oh, Johnny doesn't know.

I didn't know Vegas was like in Nevada for like a while. Johnny doesn't know. Johnny doesn't know Gelato sounds like jello Johnny doesn't know It like goes

Wiggles Johnny, you spent all of your life in this country Most of your life in this state, as a matter of fact Damn right Only left the state one time And that's when you claim you went to San Diego And then you realized that was not out of state Yeah, I thought it was Legoland

And I thought we had left to go to Legoland But we were only in California still Right, so Which is still in California Then he actually was forced to leave the state When we went to Vegas and he immediately got in a car and drove back to California. Yep.

You don't think you'll have a desire when you get older to see America? I do. I do. I know exactly, like, when I have kids, I'm not going to want them to live like this, and I know something within me is going to, like, snap, and then I'm going to be, like, flying everywhere. Let me ask you, you have this girlfriend now.

You just moved in with her this past week. Don't you think she's going to want you to take her on a trip somewhere? Yeah, we've already had this conversation, and she wants me to go back to her family and see them in the state they're from, and I plan to do that. Is it a long flight? It's like a four-hour flight. Oh.

What, East Coast? No, it's like Tennessee. Oh, man. Which is a great music town. I love, I mean, state. Yeah, you would probably like it out there. I would kill it on Tennessee Boulevard. I'd love it over there, but like, not yet.

Not yet. Let's find out how much Johnny knows about this country of ours as we celebrate 250 years, 4th of July on Saturday. And today, it's an opportunity for you to lock in. Will Johnny know or not know? Answers to pretty easy questions about the country. And we start with a man named after a fine city of ours, Philly. This is Philly from Van Nuys.

Welcome to Johnny Doesn't Know Philly. Good morning. Grand Rising. Sweet divots. Sweet divots to you, good sir. If someone requests your John Hancock, what are they asking for? Will Johnny know the answer to this, yes or no? I always have faith in Johnny.

I say yes. Johnny, this guy has faith in you. He thinks he'll know if someone says, hey, Johnny, Let me see your John Hancock. What are they asking for? Now, this sounds like a little bit male prostitute, kind of. It's like if a gay guy goes up to you and he's like, you're straight. Okay, you're the straight guy.

The gay guy comes up to you and he's like, let me see your John Hancock. He's trying to discreetly say, show me your genitals. Show me your penis. You think this is a question about America? Queers, yeah. I got a jug of jizz. Exactly. Nothing more American than queers.

Johnny, is that a real answer? Someone says, let me get your John Hancock. I mean, I've never said that to you. And I've never heard you say it to Jake or anybody else who's straight here. Right. Is that disproving your own argument? So it must be queer, you're saying. It's got to be like a gay dude trying to see another man's penis.

Okay. Philly, you said Johnny wouldn't know you had faith in him. I'm so sorry. And maybe, Allie, I don't know, maybe in the gay community. There's nothing about that that I know of. Not in the industry. Johnny, once again, if someone says, let me see your John Hancock, or I need your John Hancock right here. Right here?

In my b-hole. They are referring to your signature, your autograph. My signature? But I would love to watch the interaction happen. Imagine if someone said that to Johnny. You whip your D out. Johnny's going to sign a new contract. We need your John Hancock, and Johnny just pulls his P again.

That's how I got the job to begin with. It's a signature. That's gross. It's a signature? Yeah. Never heard that. When I go to the bank, they don't say, let me get your John Hancock. It's, I mean, it's an old thing, right?

It's American because John Hancock is the guy who signed the Declaration of Independence. Yeah, I believe he was the first signature. He took the big signature. They took a ball, so that became like the most. That was like in Tommy Boy. Yeah. You ever heard of Herbie Hancock? He puts Herbie Hancock.

Herbie Hancock. Now you know. Herbie. Shout out Hancock. All right, so shout out Hancock. Hancock, baby. We go on to Peter in Long Beach. That was a journey.

Peter, does Johnny know America? That's the question in this edition of Johnny Doesn't Know. You ready to go? Ready to go. All right, Johnny, what's wrong with the Liberty Bell? Will Johnny know this, yes or no? You know what? I'm sure he read this to his kids at the school he taught, so yes.

Okay, so you think when Johnny was a teacher, he must have taught kids this. Johnny, what is currently wrong with the Liberty Bell? Yeah, Peter, I'm right. I mean, you're right. I actually did do that. Sorry. I got a little too excited. Peter, you're right.

I actually did read this to the kids when I was a preschool TA. There's a huge crack in the Liberty Bell. Nice job, Johnny. Look at that. Liberty Bell and Johnny Skull both have something in common. Hold on one second, Peter. We went from Hancock to crack. We move on now to Mario in Riverside.

So right there on that guy's name, he's got a shot at going to Monster Jam. What's up, Mario? Johnny, what popular toy, stuffed animal more specifically, was named after a U.S. president? Will Johnny know this, yes or no? Ooh. He's kind of childish sometimes. Yeah, he's going to know. All right.

Says you will know. What is a Teddy Ruxpin? Teddy Ruxpin. Oh, man. Damn, was that not the answer? That was a pretty good, like, deep cut. You're close, dude. It's the teddy bear.

Oh, teddy bear. Okay, teddy, yeah. Let's go teddy. Teddy Ruxpin is a teddy bear. Right. I knew that because of you guys. Do you think we had a president, Teddy Ruxpin? Well, yeah, Teddy Roosevelt.

Right. Theodore. He was the fat guy. He was the only guy that got stuck in the tub. Okay, hold on, Mario. We'll say Johnny got that right. I mean, he was such fun. I did get it right.

Teddy. He got a Teddy. Man, good work, Johnny. Hey, thank you, man. Thank you. I did not know what he... I thought he was going to say something like shoots and Obamas or something. I didn't know if Johnny had any...

Yeah, the old president problems we have is just the fat guy who got stuck in the tub. I almost said G.I. Joe's, but that's not right, though. We move on to Alexander in Long Beach now. It's Johnny Doesn't Know, America. Everyone who gets theirs right, Ali writes your name down. One of you is going to go to Monster Jam,

see some monster trucks. Nothing more American than that. Johnny, here's your next question. Good morning. Alexander on KROQ. Hi. Yo, what's up? Good morning.

Good morning. Johnny, this person helped Lewis and Clark. It was a woman. And she helped Lewis and Clark explore and make their way west. What was her name? Will Johnny know this, Alexander? I'm going to put my faith in Johnny.

I'm going to say he doesn't know it, and if he does, then just say you don't know it. Okay, this guy is saying throw it if you do know it, but he doesn't think you will because he wants to win. Who is the name of this woman, Johnny? That explanation he gave kind of like threw me through a loop. Yeah, that was confusing for me. Yeah, because I do know the answer. My cousin went to that college, Lewis and Clark College. and the answer is Sacagawea.

Whoa! Sorry, Johnny smoked your ass. Johnny knew that one. And she's on the gold coin, too. Yes, she is. Little girl on the coin. Yep, little girl on the coin. That's all I'm going to leave it at.

Status or legacy. This is the final one now, and a lot of people have predicted it correct. Actually, only two people have predicted it correctly today. Paul in Upland. We give you the final shot of Johnny. He doesn't know America now. And here we go.

Good morning, Paul. Hey, sweet dude. Shout out, nutbangers. Shout out to everyone watching along on YouTube right now. What did Bob Woodward and Bernstein expose? This is American history right now. What did Woodward and Bernstein expose? Will Johnny know this, yes or no?

Definitely not. All right, Johnny, he says definitely not. I don't know at all because I've heard those two names, but I only heard them in the movie Dazed and Confused. When he uses the names as an insult, he's like, Woodward, Bernstein, but that's it. I don't know what those guys did, though. You want to take a guess?

Was it World War II stuff? Or is it kind of like Vietnam stuff? They exposed World War II? All of it? World War II stuff. Or Vietnam stuff? That's what you think? I don't know.

Am I close in those eras of when they existed? Well, you've jumped around a bunch of eras there. You just went from the 40s to the 60s. Okay, let's go Cowboys then. Okay. They exposed Cowboys? They exposed... How did we get gayer?

I don't know. I said, hey, Cowboy, let me see your John Hancock. Anyway, back to business as usual No, Johnny, I'm sorry They were the people who exposed what happened at the Watergate Hotel with Nixon Oh, Forrest Gump was looking and he saw the lights and he was like, there's somebody over there That's right, you got it Is that what happened?

Paul also didn't think you would get it That's right, Forrest Gump was very much involved in U.S. history Allie, Mario, Paul, Peter all got theirs right Who's going to go see some monster trucks? Okay, that would be Mario, congratulations Hey, Mario, you're going to Monster Jam. Congratulations. Enjoy yourselves from trucks.

Quick break. I think I'll be good at Monster Jam. After Justice and Tame Impala, we'll come back. We'll do some ADD news. And then a whole other show of the hour to get into. Because we ain't getting out of here early. I mean, let's not talk about tomorrow, all right? But we're not getting out of here early today.

Still got a lot of show to get to. We will get to all of it after this. I'm K-Rock. Good morning. Okay, we're about to plan Allie's show, get into some ADD news in a moment, then a brand new hour of the show will begin with more tickets for you to go to the water park. Quickly, though, as part of our funner summer challenge, Allie, as you know, is still attempting to have some sort of a one-night stand or maybe even a threesome with her wife. And we have an update, very exciting update, waiting for you on the GOAT line, Allie. I heard Allie's wife say she would only be interested if the other, if the third person looks like Taylor Swift.

And that's crazy, because that eliminates a lot of the population. If your wife said she would only do it if the person maybe resembled Taylor Swift, that eliminates 99.999% of the world. Yes, but I think it also needs to either be Taylor Swift, or it needs to be somebody who looks like her and that she jives with. Right, so this woman heard that. And guess what? I look like Taylor Swift. We have a listener that claims that she looks just like Taylor Swift. Yeah, but even Taylor Swift is kind of like, well... Well, the wife wants her, though.

It's not about what you're into. You would happily have that. You're right. Your wife's going to, if you're the one proposing it, she gets to pick the person. All right. I'm interested in hearing more. And so this woman said she's interested. And I was thinking, and I am definitely not interested in giving a brief zone to Allie and her wife.

And I have a strong suspicion it's going to be really hard to find somebody who looks like Taylor Swift. Anyway, I love you, Allie. I just don't want to sleep with you. Bye. Oh, man. I thought we had one there. You and every other woman I know. I love you.

I just don't want to sleep with you. That's the hardest thing to have to hear. I like another one. We take a quick break. We'll let Allie soak in that for a moment. I can't believe she called the go line just to tell me that. I look exactly like the person you're looking for. I could make your dreams come true, but I don't want that.

But I'm not interested. Have a nice day. And I'll be right back. just to get the ups and downs the roller coaster that is this show uh your news is next grab your adderall it's time for add news t-minus two days until fourth of july fireworks begin so if you are thinking about buying some be careful because the cops swear there is a big crackdown this year your mic is sideways or backwards or something don't turn it around there you go there she is Who was in here?

There are counties that are issuing drones that will narc you out if you light illegal fireworks in your neighborhood. And they've already arrested dozens of people that are selling illegal fireworks by pretending to buy them. Deputies say that they have managed to arrest at least 48 people accused of illegally selling powerful fireworks that far exceed California's regulations. These fireworks, they say, could be dangerous to people, could explode in their hands, or could cause fires on rooftops. We followed deputies today here in Paramount as they posed as buyers for online illegal fireworks. They had the seller come here to Paramount, and then they just made an arrest here at a gas station. In the back of their car, you could see all of these boxes of illegal fireworks. Deputies say in the last two weeks, they've caught people selling more than 3,300 pounds of illegal fireworks worth $50,000 on the street.

Yeah, so it's interesting that they're just finding these buyers online, like, hey, looking for some illegal fireworks, and then some idiot's like, hey, I got them for you. Do you want to meet at this gas station? Like, I thought that it was a little more convoluted than that. No, well, Omar's guy had a whole plan, because you had to meet him somewhere and wait somewhere, and I think they wanted to make sure that you weren't a... Never size me up. You weren't the fuzz. Yeah, you got to make sure you're not going to knock him out, but yeah, you got to be careful when you buy. It's a game.

It's all part of a game. It's a fun game. It just seems like you should get caught if you're this stupid selling you little fireworks. Allie, remember how much fun we talked about how buying weed used to be? And now it's not as much fun anymore. Now it's great. You go into a million stores. You just buy whatever you want.

You give them a credit card. Yeah, but finding the parking lots, the back alleys, also coming up with the code words. We would call, hey, I want a Henry, which meant Henry VIII because you want an eighth of weed. Everybody had their own thing. All the fun of finding weed, getting it. Maybe it was really good because the guy got some northern lights that came in that morning. Yeah, you never knew what you were going to get. It was a great, fun experience.

And most people now don't get to experience that. Similar with fireworks. I've been to like a legal fireworks stand before when I was like, you know, on the East Coast and in the Deep South. And I went into one of those like firework warehouses. And it's pretty incredible in the sense of like you walk in there and they just have everything. It's so colorful, right? It's so colorful. And it's like a giant Costco full of all fireworks and everything explodes.

But also, there's something cool about what's happening now where you've got to go. You've got to know someone who knows someone to get the illegal ones. The effort is part of the fun. The effort is part of the fun. And then when you get them, people respect that. People respect it. People respect it when you eventually blow your finger off. California, they don't have a good sense of humor about fireworks here.

That's for sure. A sad diagnosis yesterday for Danny Glover, an actor who I would definitely say is universally loved by the public. I mean, Lethal Weapon movies, The Color Purple, and the highly underrated comedy with Martin Short, Pure Luck. Watch that if you haven't seen it yet. He shared that he has Alzheimer's, which is such a tough disease to live with and to spell. He'll be 80 later this month, and here is how he shared the news. Diagnosis for Alzheimer's. Well, I can live with it in a sense.

Do you fear losing your memories? What a sad question to ask. I mean, I guess you have to ask it, but it's like, of course, who wouldn't be sad or scared? Is that hard? i i'm sure as it advance and things are going to be different and changing so yeah i mean obviously he's like it's okay now i've learned to live with it but of course as it progresses it's going to get even more difficult and i imagine that if you work too much oh there it is that's not how dare you that's not me dude it's too soon i'm not doing an impression of

Danny Glover, I don't know where that clip is from or what it's about. It's both ageist and racist. Danny Glover, back me up on this, man. Hello? You there, Danny? No? You waiting for him? You know, it's funny.

People, as soon as this news broke yesterday, said that once again, the Klein Alley Show mush has come through. Don't you guys play some stupid song that mentions Danny Glover? What a random mention, and now he is the story of this Alzheimer's. Listen to this. Oh, my gosh, we haven't played that in forever. We can't be blamed for that. We have not played this in forever, but I think the last time we did play this on the air, it was when Ali's secret was that she was pregnant the first time.

And this is the song. Is your bush real big? Do you have seven kids? Is your cousin your lover? Do you know Danny Glover? Got a secret. That was the intro for Got a Secret. And we haven't played that in a while, but that was a shout out Danny Glover.

If you do know Danny Glover, it's probably a tough day for you. R.I.P. R.I.P. What? He's not dead. Oh, he's not? I only half listened to the story. Jesus, are you checked out already?

That's right. This is going to be fun. I got a text about some illegal fireworks I can buy, but I got to act quick. Okay, listen to this. When you are in Vegas, where are you least likely to win when you are gambling? Think about it. The unluckiest slot machines in the city. In the airport.

They are all sitting at Harry Reid International Airport. It is your last ditch effort to break even before that final walk of shame onto your plane. and now a man has won $3.3 million on the Wheel of Fortune slot machine near the Seagates at Las Vegas Airport. I played you Seagate slots in Vegas. And the stupid airport. I missed a flight one time

because I was playing those Seagate slots. The whole flight, board and left. I remember, I think we played these together. Yeah, love those Seagate slots. I mean, Harry Reid International Airport put out this whole post congratulating this person, this one lucky traveler who, And it says, now that's one way to spend a layover.

So I don't even know if they were in Vegas. If they were really there on a layover, how lucky is that? Oh, man, I have a layover in Vegas in about nine days. You got to, Omar, you got to play the slots. Although now this guy got the good money, so there's nothing left. It's all gone. I mean, when is this going to happen again? How often has Harry Reid International Airport been able to share these congratulatory...

I saw some story that talked about how the odds at the airport slots, slots. I mean, they're bad. They're always stacked against you as the player, but they are 10 times worse at the airport because they know they have no competition there and you're probably a real degenerate if you're playing at the airport. And it's either you have leftover money, like, hey, I've got this

leftover cash. Let's just see what happens. Or you're trying to dig yourself out of a hole. Chasing. Never good scenarios. I can't tell my wife what really happened. I've got to win it all back on one pull away. At the Seagate's. Oh, come on, baby. This is the world famous KROQ.

Call it 20, let's go. Get you into all them water parks. It'll be the wettest summer ever. Funnest summer guaranteed. What's more fun than floating in a lazy river? Or going down the water slide when the guy yells at you with a whistle? I said no. I said not face first.

No, horse play. No, horse play. They use the horse play word. Got thumbs ups at the bottom. You can go now. Pull that atomic wedgie out. That badgie. Happens when you do those water slides, Allie.

There's no stopping it. I know, but it's, you know, when I went to Wild Rivers with Vanessa, I saw the pure joy in people's faces as they ended the water slides, as they were getting covered with water, almost drowning in the best way possible. It's pure joy. We get you in right now to Wild Rivers, not Soak City, Six Flags, Hurricane Harbor, Los Angeles. Don't pick your park because you get to go to all of them, and four tickets for each happening again right now.

Call it 20-800-520-1067. If you can't get through the show live because people are calling to win stuff, then maybe the GOAT line is for you. And someone wants to say that they understand Allie for the first time ever. And listen to this person. Hey, guys. So I'm taking my late night walk. And I go up this, like, pretty high hill.

And at the bottom of the hill, there's a bunch of houses. And I'm walking by. And, you know, people have their lights on. And obviously, you look inside the windows, like Allie says. And bam. Look inside the windows, like Allie says. I'm just saying keep your head on a swivel. You like your legacy?

See if there's anything interesting. Allie's a big peeper. She said before that whenever she walks around and she sees open windows, she will stop and peek. And this woman was going on an evening hike, called us, because she sounds winded, by the way. Very out of breath. She does. She's going on a walk. She's peeping.

Hey, by looking in. Listen to what she saw. And bam, there's a couple in it. So obviously I stopped and I watched for a minute because I'm a normal human being. So she's walking on a hike and she sees a couple doing it. And she doesn't just keep walking. She stops and she takes in a show. Yeah.

Like Allie would. Like Allie's said before, she's a peeper of opportunity. This is why I like walking around neighborhoods, especially nice neighborhoods that I don't live in. Right, because you get to look inside and see rich people doing it. And the point is, I think that, number one, if you don't want people to watch, close your damn blinds. Yes. Number two, I think that next time there's a Lighting Friday, Omar needs to be on the hot seat because he was acting like Allie's such a pervert. and we need to ask him if he would stop and watch and or record

because maybe I'd consider that for a second. I didn't do it. I wouldn't do it. But I thought about it. Have a good day. Bye. I mean, that would definitely separate it to the next level. If you saw a couple, you're out on a walk, you're peeping on a couple.

It's human nature. If you're watching couples having sex, you're going to look for a second. Yeah, I admitted that. Yeah, Omar said he would do that too. But Allie actually sets up shop there. Yeah, she lingers. Yeah, they kind of walk on. She'll go home and get her chair, yeah.

If there's an even surface to put my tripod, I might sit there for a bit. Right. And most people, I think, would just keep the walk. I would watch while I walk, but once I got out of range... Yeah, but you slow down the walk. Yeah, you slow down a little bit. Yeah, you slow down a lot of it. I mean, it depends what the couple looks like, right?

I pretend to pick up my dog's poop, and I don't even have a dog. Just been in there for a while. Hey, Maria, you're on KROQ from Woodland Hills, California. Good morning. Good morning. You are the 20th caller at this exact moment, which means we have lots and lots of water in your future. Congratulations. Oh, thank you.

Summer, funner summer guarantee happening all summer long. It all starts with us in the morning, and we'll make it worth your while with tickets and access and trips around the country, etc., etc. Blink-182 now, and then more show on KROQ. We are Kline Alley Show. Good morning. We're at Kline Alley Show. You know, we just entered the month of July. And according to some people, mainly Postmaster Johnny, we've officially entered the most fun time of the year, not just because it's summer, but he believes that Jason, as it's affectionately known as, which stands for July, August, September, October, November, is the greatest stretch of months you get all year long because he said that's when everything happens.

That's when all the good stuff happens. It starts with Fourth of July festivities and barbecues, et cetera, wraps up with Thanksgiving dinner and all of the fun about that. But he claims that everything just happening between the shows, the events, the concerts, it is the greatest stretch of months that we have. And he's super excited that we have now officially reentered Jason. It's the best. And he claims that he's been working very hard on putting together something which none of us can find, Johnny. I don't know where you put it, but it's not in the system. It's not in there. It's there.

I don't see it. It's not here. But Johnny claims that he wanted to share with you all the greatest moments that you can look forward to. at least one thing that's happening in all of these months ahead. This is Johnny's first Jason report. It's a Jason report. They're supposedly going to have this great new theme song

and everything, but it's just not here. He said he worked on it, but I don't see it, Johnny. We're doing a live radio show. Log into my Voxpro really quick. Maybe it's in my profile. Log into your Voxpro. We're live on KROQ. I'm not logging into anything.

We should have prepped this, man. Prepped it. We had it prepped. We should have prepped it. You should have said, hey, make sure it's ready. We said that. We did make sure you said. And it was ready. It's in there.

It's just in my profile. It's not in there, Johnny. It's not in there. It's not in here. Oh, you're blowing it. We're blowing it. Oh, my God. I'm going to slap you across your stupid face.

We're in the system. We're with all the stuff. I can play anything we have. I'm in your folder, Johnny. There's nothing here. It's right there at the bottom. It should say Jason Helicopter. Jason Helicopter?

Jason. Well, that's clearly why we're not finding it. I see something called Jason Hella. Oh, yeah, that's it. Jesus Christ. I'm hella over this bit. And now we're checking in with Johnny, who's currently flying high above the KROQ studios now

to report on all things happening with his first official Jason report. All right, here we go. So we're kicking off Jason correctly with the 4th of July. It is the greatest American holiday where we celebrate barbecues, fireworks, and, of course, my favorite, freedom. Yeah, I don't know why of all of the helicopters that have crashed recently, this one can't be one of them. Oh, we're flying strong. And we're kicking it off the next week with 7-Eleven Day, which is, of course, free Slurpee Day.

You're out of music, Ben. That's it? That's what you're putting there? My helicopter must have flown away. But remember, it is free Slurpee Day on 7-Eleven. that's your only report only for the first two weeks I don't want to blow the whole load yet hell yeah Jason

trust me you blew the load already anything else Johnny four months ahead five months ahead of greatness and you've given us free slurpees on 7-11 day free slurpees and America's barbecue on 4th of July that's all we need for the first two weeks

Your events that you're sharing are the 4th of July and Slurpee Day? That sounds great to any kid and to anybody. Did we shoot down the chopper? Thank God. This is my Vietnam listening to this right now. Guys, this is our fault. It is our fault. We need to get it together.

Yeah, we played ourselves. Not going to lie, we played ourselves hard right now. Johnny. We played something. We played something, but it wasn't the right one. Johnny, you said, I'm working on a thing. It's done. It's obviously done and it's completed with the voiceover and everything.

It's just not in the right folder. Why is that our fault? That's nobody's fault. I'm not saying it's somebody's fault. I'm just saying it's in the wrong folder. You just said that we messed up here, Johnny. And we played ourselves. We played ourselves, man.

We all played ourselves. I thought you said you have five or six things to get Jason. I do, but I gave two because I didn't want to do the whole month right away. Come back for the next week and we'll do the second and third week. I'm not coming back to this ever again. Yeah, we're done. We also talked about this in advance. We spoke about this off the air.

We had a meeting about it. Yeah, it's done. It's completed. It's in there. Well, it's not in your folder, and it's not in our folder, man. It's in my folder. Johnny, if you were going to give us a third thing to look forward to in Jason, I don't want to blow your load for next week.

We're going to blow it right now, but The Fray is performing at the Bellwether, and it's going to be an amazing show, because they are the greatest department store music band ever, and I love The Fray. Okay. That's the third week. So that's a sneak peek? A little sneak peek, and that's also the only thing happening. Oh, I got to know what's the fourth.

All right, the fourth week is Spider-Man Brand New Day. It's coming out in theaters July 29th, and that is going to be the movie of the summer, Spider-Man Brand New Day. So you've got all that to look forward to in the month of July. You know what I'm not looking forward to is doing this ever again. We've got to take a break. Oh, come on. Let's see if we can get worse.

What's the next week? Do you have the next week planned? August? No, no, no. We only go up to the 30th or 31st in July, so that's it for July. All right. Well, there you have it, guys. Once again, point proven. Going to come back in a moment, believe it or not, with El Cheapo on a thrifty Thursday. She's going to be reporting from a helicopter.

I am. And we're going to find out ways that you can cheap out while still going out to eat and more after this. Hey, right on Ellie's show, El Cheapo's here to save you tons of money. She makes it her mission to usually make her life way more complicated just to save a couple of bucks. But these days, what used to be frowned upon, people would make fun of her behind her backs, call her things to her face. My backs? Yeah. Use my roll.

Multiple backs? I thought you knew that. I thought you knew that we said you had many backs. All my backs. You talked me behind all of them simultaneously. It's impressive. We can't all fit behind just one of your backs. It's all of them.

So Allie gets shamed a lot. She's backs it up. I'm backsing. Oh, I just ran into my other back. So she's here today. Back that back up. to help you save a little bit of money while you're going out to eat.

You know she loves that. Eating out is Allie's favorite thing to do. It's time to talk to the kingpin of cheap. Here she is, El Cheapo. Why don't you back it on up into an American Tire Depot for all of your car needs. You can go to americantiredepot.com. But, of course, to have a funner summer,

you do want to go out to eat every once in a while, and it has gotten insanely unaffordable. So, I have four tips on how to save money at a restaurant. And if you abide by these rules, I believe you will save hundreds, if not thousands of dollars this summer. Is this that thing where you put like a piece of glass in your food when you're done with it? No, there's nothing that's mean to the restaurant, I promise. Maybe a little annoying, but not mean. Yeah, because these places are just trying to stay afloat with their full 10% margins anyway.

It's very hard to succeed as a restaurant. These are just little things. So, for example, before you go out to eat, eat. Make sure you eat a little snack at home. If you're going to be drinking, have a little drink at home. All right? Just a little something, a little charcuterie board, a little appy, a little drink, just to get yourself going so that when you get to the restaurant, you're not starving and overordering.

I do like the, most of what you said is stupid right there, but the pre-drink drink, I like that part of it. I like the drink at home so that when you're going there, some people say. You're not desperate for a drink. Yeah, like a table's not ready. Yeah, you want to go to the bar and have a drink. It's a little scam restaurant's pull to try to get you to spend a little bit more money. But that's okay. You can still have that drink.

But now, at least, that's not your first drink. You've already had one. Exactly. By the time the second, third one goes down. Or you just wait for having a drink with dinner or whatever. Maybe you cut it from three drinks to two or one drink, whatever. That's probably $15 right there that you're going to save. And if you don't get any appetizers because you already had a little something at home,

that's probably $20 to even $50 that you could be saving. A little flask of vodka in the jacket. And you order a little club soda, a little sparkling water for the table. Split a bottle of wine that you got from Trader Joe's before you go there. OK, drive responsibly. Then the second tip is to explore and make your decision about the menu before you go, especially if this is a new restaurant. You don't want to be like, I don't know. And especially if you're talking to somebody that you're just catching up with, you're not paying attention to the menu.

And then you just make rash decisions. You're like, I don't know. I'm just going to get the tacos because it's the easy thing. not necessarily the cheapest thing. So you want to consider all this before you leave so you know in your mind what you're ordering. I don't like this at all. Everything you're saying, my wife does this thing.

We'll be driving to a restaurant. She'll have the Yelp up for the restaurant and be reading reviews from what people thought about specific dishes. And I like to go in there and be surprised. I don't do a lot of reading. So menus are pretty much the only book I get. And I like to be surprised when I open it up. And I like to look down and go, whoa, look at that.

Yeah, but then you have to spend time studying. You don't want to spend that time in the restaurant. You want to spend that time talking and enjoying. No, I don't. I don't want to talk. I want to read the menu. I look at the menu. I treat the menu like it's a great story.

Here's where your night begins. Yeah, this is where it all begins right here. And this is where potentially it ends. That's why some people don't even put the desserts on the menu. They have to bring a separate one for that. And I don't like that. I like to see it all up front. No, and don't fill up on bread because you don't want to then not have room for your meal.

But when your meal does come, say, thank you so much. And they say, can I get you anything else? And you say, yeah, give me a box right away. You take half that meal. You put it in a box. You save it for later. That's two meals in one. Yes, all these places give you giant meals.

You're not going to eat the entire burger. Just cut it in half. Put the other half in a box. Put it away. Don't think about it. You can clear off your plate. And then you can have a second meal tomorrow. When I'm gambling, I'll do something similar.

Like once I get back to where I started at, I'll take what I was. Okay, I started with, sat down with $200, I put that in my pocket, pretend I don't even have those chips. Exactly. Play with the profits. Trick yourself. So you fool yourself, because if it's on the plate, you'll probably eat it. Exactly. Or, God forbid, you look away for a second, they come and clear your plate and take it away.

You go, what happened there? There was still some food there. Yeah, put it away, half the meal, and just stick it under the table, wherever, so that you don't think about it. So when they come, when they first bring you your food, you say, and a box. Box. I'm going to need a box right away. My final tip is to create a family no-add-on policy. This is where they really upcharge you.

If you're getting a salad or whatever, it's $20.99 maybe at first. Then it's like an extra $8 if you had chicken. $9 for steak. $10 for salmon or shrimp. Shrimp's a treat. Yeah, don't do it. Have a no add-on policy. Even if you're gluten-free and you spend $3 or $4 extra on that gluten-free bun, just don't do the bun.

It's not worth it. I think most of the add-ons are both overrated and way, way overpriced. So you're saying if someone wants something, even if that's what they want, you say no. No add-ons. You cannot have that. If you skipped add-ons completely when you were going out to restaurants, I bet you would save hundreds of dollars. And then finally, my pickup tip is if you are ordering pickup and there are any sides that you can make at home, like something easy like rice, that will save you a lot of money over time. A lot of times when we get Asian food, I have rice at home.

I have plenty of rice at home. I don't charge that much for rice, though. Well, even $2. You're saving it. Usually rice is kind of thrown in. Yeah, but you add all these sides just because you're in your peak laziness mode. If there's anything like bread and rice that you have at home that you don't have to add on, great. There's El Cheapo sucking all the fun out of going out to eat for you.

I have lots of fun. Saved a couple of bucks. Would you like to add some steak to your salad? No, you cannot. No add-ons. Just lettuce. In a box. Feed me.

Oh, my God. This is how I fill out my bags. Your family's going to have a lot of fun with you in Hawaii, I'm sure. So at KROQ, we are Klein Alley Show. Do some takeaways. Wrap things up next on KROQ. KROQ, Klein Alley Show. Write that down on our mailing list of ideas.

By the way, Jake, we're looking at this prototype already. A shirt has been made. I have not had intercourse with Jake's shirt. I have not been intimate with Jake. Excuse me. I'm reading the shirt wrong. I have not been intimate with Jake. These shirts are potentially being made as we speak.

So get ready for the greatest limited edition drop we've had in our merch store in a while. You excited about this, Jake? Oh, I'm stoked. I want one. I'm a medium. Okay. This is very exciting. Actually, a large baby.

Thanks, Vanessa. I love you. You got to have one up in your back. Vanessa, the Vanessa is so mean. I was thinking about her belly. I was thinking about her baby. Allie just reserved a medium shirt, and Vanessa yelled, no, no, a large. That is the greatest.

God, Vanessa, you are cold. That's being nice. That was not being nice. I was thinking about your baby. Thinking about your fat stomach is what she's saying. All right, let's get into takeaways from today's show. Okay. Get out of here.

Let's get out of here. 213, my takeaways. Teddy Roxman is one of our greatest presidents. Yeah, he sure was. Should have been a two-timer for sure. Two terms, two terms. 818, Klein's neck gets the puppy patty flying Dutchman. 818 Bud Light Bros are not cousins.

That's blasphemy. 310, Klein loves blimps and bison. Yeah, sure do. 909, Allie was born 200 years too late. 310, K-Rock has the most powerful microphones now. Oh, so powerful. 818, the throat goat needs her meh. 714, shout out Hancocks.

And 909, my takeaway is Allie is a shipper and Klein is a blimper. That's right. If you don't know what we're talking about, and you probably don't at this point, You should check out The Complete Show, wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen, listen along. You know, people, I don't want to ever disparage or not give enough credit to the podcast listeners that don't ever have the opportunity to listen to our show because of their work hours or because they don't have a car.

And so thank you. And I know that sometimes, you know, you think of someone who sits around and just downloads podcasts as some weirdo. But I want to point out that this podcaster who left the message is definitely no weirdo. What up, guys? I'm catching up on the podcast right now, listening to you guys talk about the chores or whatever. It reminded me that I'm not allowed to do my girlfriend's laundry anymore because I sniff her underwear before I actually wash it.

Yeah. Sorry about that, guys. Anyways, 5.20 in the morning. Hope you guys have a great day. It's a podcast listener right there. Not allowed to do his girlfriend's laundry anymore because he smells them. Nothing wrong with that guy. I love that then he apologized to us about that.

Yeah, thanks for sharing. Goat line's there for you when we're not. Goat line doesn't take a day off for the 4th of July. Nope. so you can go ahead and leave messages on the GOAT line, 844-956-GOAT. What's your takeaway from today's show, Postmaster Johnny? You can still find boomers at the depot. The depot. Just the depot.

Try that again, Johnny. Johnny, what's your takeaway, buddy? You can still find boomers at the depot. Now I hear you, loud and clear. Now it makes sense. Vanessa, you have a takeaway from today's show? Yeah, Johnny was found in the streets of L.A. by Klein. That's right.

Oh, yeah. Takeaway, Jake the Nerd. Hey, I want a Henry. Yeah, Henry VIII. Gotta get yourself a Henry. Allie, takeaway? My takeaway is shout out to the little girl on the coin. Oh, little girl living life on a coin.

And DJ Omar Khan, final takeaway from today's show. No, no, a large baby. For the baby. It's nice. Have a decent day. We will try to do it again tomorrow. Or not. That's it for us.

Goodbye. okay it's just okay and that will just about do it i know what you're thinking how is that it time just flew god i would have loved a little bit more klein alley show well good news there is more klein alley show and it's for your eyeballs. Yep. You can check it all out on live stream

at KROQ's YouTube and you can watch along, you can like, you can subscribe. Get us to that 100K. Or if you're listening to this, maybe we're there already. No, we're not going

to edit that out so you got to hear Ali stumble over the word. Regardless, if you want to be even more involved in the Klein Ali Show universe, that's right,

it's a whole universe just like the Marvelverse only way less impressive. And way smaller. You can get involved on the Instagram Klein Ali Show, the socials,

Technically, I think we're still on Twitter, although I don't know if we've tweeted in a while or X'd in a while. But more importantly right now, they're really pushing this YouTube hard. So please do us a solid. Go over there, KROQ's YouTube, subscribe, follow, like, all that stuff. And I want to watch some of the content, stuff that we do on the show. You can also share with other people. YouTube Shorts, a great way to introduce people to the show that may not be listening. You're already putting up with us and listening to this weird announcement after the podcast.

So at the very least, you could force a friend to do it as well. And now listen to this entire thing in 2X. You can listen to us on the live stream. You can follow us on Instagram. Oh, I want to eat my breast.