Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Got Milf? (FULL SHOW 9/1)

Episode Date: September 1, 2026

Welcome to a new month. Go pay your rent! We got an incredible gift delivered by the one and only Print Gurus...Klein & Ally Plushies!! They're everything we dreamed they would be. They even talk and come with accessories! See them on our IG @kleinallyshow or watch us simulate sex with them on today's YouTube livestream. Today we met a lot more new degenerates in a new round of Human Bingo. We heard from people who were permanently banned, people who just got dumped, and we met a wonderful woman named Marie who has a speech impediment. After t-t-t-talking to her for a few minutes, we decided she will be introducing Slightly Stoopid at the Endless Summer Kegger this Thursday. We celebrated a new month by bringing back Netflix/NOTflix, and Klein wrote some truly ridiculous fake shows this time around. Is "Cold As Balls" a real Netflix show? Plus a conversation about the many different parking choices we all made when seeing Muse at the bowl last night, a new relationship milestone for Jake, and voted on whether or not we should ban texting while walking during Import/Export.

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Hey, what's going on, Klein Alley?

Are you ready? I love Klein Alley, you little bitch. Klein Alley, it's just okay. There's no such thing as balling into that. Good morning, everybody. Hey, what up, Klein Alley? Whoa, sweet divot steak, did you see that? Viva Klein Alley Show.

Let's get this show started. The show started. The show started. We are live in Los Angeles. Three, two, one. And here we go. It's the Klein Alley Show. Low 6.7, KROQFM and HD Pasadena.

Los Angeles, Orange County. The Sonic Pulse of Los Angeles. This is the world famous KROQ. Oh, hell yeah. Good morning. Welcome to September. It is the first of a brand new month, which means perhaps you got rent due. That sucks. That does suck.

Here's your friendly reminder. Rent is due. Sucks on a Tuesday. Sucks. Sucks to suck, Jake. Well said. Sucks to suck. I bet landlords are like, oh, this is the best day ever.

Omar, as a landlord, is the first of the month like the best day for you? I don't even notice it. Everything's just automatic. You don't check? You're not constantly checking, rolling around in your stacks of cash? I have pretty good tenants. I have one tenant that always pays me, like, three to four days before it's due. And then I have a tenant that, you know, I do a five-day grace period because I'm nice like that.

So they always pay me within that window. Must be nice. I was a landlord. I'd come to them and break their legs. What? It's 12.01 a.m. Where's the check? September 2nd.

Kick it to the curb. It's going to Tanya Harding you right now if you don't give my money. But it's not even the first yet. It's 31 days in this month. Leave me alone. Well, that's why we don't have that job, and we're just sitting here talking for the next four hours. Plus, if you need us, phone's text line, 800-520-1067.

What's in it for you today? Great question. OhanaFest tickets, yes. Ocean Way Festival tickets, yes. We'll get you into Universal Studios. Halloween Horror Nights as well. We got that for you. And, of course, Endless Summer Kegger.

In fact, let's start the show by inviting you to the Endless Summer Kegger. If you'd like to join us on Thursday, looking for you right now at 800-520-1067 right now. Kegs. No games needed. Just looking for good people that want to hang out on Thursday. And the answer is you may need an excuse because I think we're starting this thing in the... It's going to be one of them sunset shows.

So we're going to be starting this thing around 4 or 5 in the afternoon. It's going to roll straight up through the wee hours of 8 p.m. And if you would like to get in on that, then you can go ahead and give us a call immediately so we can go ahead and get your spots locked in. For the rest of you, I recommend you just listen to everything that happens on the show today Because at some point later this morning, there will be a quiz. It's a pop quiz, and it will test your knowledge of everything that takes place over the next four hours. So any stupid thing that's said, any goat line message we play, any guest that pops in here,

any time Allie accidentally says something racist or Vanessa misspeaks, it all could be answers to questions that happen later this morning. It could get you into the kegger, all right? And when we thought of those hours, we thought of you and traffic. Yeah. Because these other shows, they'll start at like 7. No, they're not thinking about traffic. And they know that you're going to be sitting there in traffic forever.

This is kind of before rush hour and after rush hour. You're going to be leaving when it's all done. That was our big plan. And we've got plans. You know, our plan originally was just give everyone a funner summer. That was the thought. And now we're running, you know, summer's technically over, I guess. I mean, I don't know when the official last day of summer is, but as far as we're concerned, it all ends after Labor Day.

Labor Day weekend, yeah. And so we had a bunch of stuff we were trying to do. One of those things was a kegger. It was going to be in my backyard. Too many people wanted to go, so we said, let's throw a proper kegger. And then there's someone on the show who I don't think we've heard from on their Funner Summer updates. Hey, so you guys are all talking about Funner Summer. What is Omar doing?

Because I thought he was supposed to be out on a boat. He actually, like, kind of talked about going on, oh, yeah, I'm just going to rent some jet skis and go to Catalina. I've always wanted to do that. And keep in mind, that didn't turn out very well for a few people that got lost out in the ocean. so what are you being a little bitch not getting on the on the water by the way i do have a boat so you know i don't think we can do it before son or farmer ends but hey she's calling you a little bitch omar uh yeah i'm a little bitch because uh i did a little bit of the research and uh it's about an hour and a half in the middle of the ocean and i was like i don't know about that how

long did you think it would take to get to catalina on a jet i don't know man a half hour something like that? No, I know someone who did it and I think it's quite a journey. We went on a speedboat. That thing went, I think, an illegal we were going 100 miles an hour and it still took us an hour to get there. That was horrible. That was probably my worst boat experience ever.

So looking into it, it was going to turn out to be a bad experience, so I decided to pass on that. You could jet ski or go in the water and do something else. You don't have to go to Catalina. No, I agree. And also, I've been busy working on the weekends. You know how I do. Blah, blah, blah.

It doesn't sound like fun or summer. What about you, Jake? You were supposed to do a drug you've never done. I'm doing it this weekend. Oh, you are? Okay. I got it in a little jar. I'm ready.

Why don't you do it at the fun or summer in Kegger when we put you in the dunk tank and we bathe you? That's going to be too much. I won't be able to make it home. All right. He's going to do a brand new drug while sitting in a dunk tank. He's going to freak the F out. Matt in Moreno Valley, good morning.

Oh, hell yeah. What's up, Klein? You are the 20th caller, so you're going to be with us on Thursday. Congratulations. Woo! Yeah, I got my shucker ready. All right. I don't know what that's about.

What does that mean? I don't know if we can say that. For the clam slam. Oh, for the clam slam. Oh. That's right. Yeah, I don't know if there's... That's good.

I forgot what we're calling it then. That's right. Thank you. The greatest jokes are the ones you got to really think about. Gorillas Now, the show continues in moments on KROQ. Hold on. Here we go. Hit it.

Look at me. It's K-Rock. We are Klein Ali's show. Thank you, Gorillas, if you were recovering from Muse last night, or perhaps you were K-Rock for almost Monday performing at the In-N-Out Sound Space. Well, I get it. You are in full recovery mode today, and that's okay, because we are in the middle of Jason,

which means it's the greatest stretch of months of the year, and that means fun upon fun upon fun. We've got keggers, we've got festivals, we'll get you into everything today. But I did not know, and I'm thrilled in a moment, if you're not watching on YouTube now, it would be a good time to check us out, because we're streaming live there, that we would come in today to a surprise, a good surprise. Usually the surprises when you come into K-Rock involve the following.

The AC's broken. Phones are down. Roaches. Roaches is no longer a surprise because it's commonplace. Phone bill hasn't been paid. Tip bowling. Clogged toilets situation where we're down to zero toilets. It happens.

I don't think it happens in the ladies' room as much as the guys' room here. Oh, no, it's great in there. But the guys' room, best case scenario, you're at one of two. There's only two. One is, at a best case, is functioning. Usually zero. In fact, yesterday after the show, I was trying to go in there, and Johnny came out. He goes, dude, I'm warning you, do not go in there.

Don't even, don't, do not. You do not even enter. Do they clog every day? He said it's a bad situation in there. You don't even want to go in. It was a ridiculous smell. It was not a clog. It was terrible.

Well, I'm sure it was a clog because it always usually starts with a clog. But Johnny said to me, he said, don't go in. I thought Johnny was responsible, and he blamed it on some guy from the news station. Is that why you guys go to other bathrooms? You have to. You have no choice. Because there's more odds. Thank God there's an orthodontist up on the 16th floor.

Everyone's dumping out on the orthodontist. These dudes blow it up down here, man. It's not good, man. Hey, when you get a lot of fiber, take reliable craps. Is it that Mike Simpson guy? Probably. Oh, dude. Well, it's not point fingers.

Today, though, we got a good surprise that we came into the studio to find. And, Allie, I don't know if you're aware. I didn't know this was actually happening. You remember we got these. I'm showing you guys right now. But this was the Vanessa plushie that we received. One of two. This is very rare.

I think we gave one of these away. And Vanessa asked, please do not defile this thing. but this was the Vanessa Chicken Lady plushie. They made a toy out of her. This is what it looks like. In all the years that we've been doing this, this is the most impressed I have been. With anything that was made.

With anything that has ever been made for the show. Right, so this is Vanessa, and I think you squeeze it, and it says things like, come here, chicken. I don't know if this one's turned on, but anyway, it's incredible. And we've got one hanging behind Allie. This is the other one, which I think we're going to give away at some point soon. This is a very exciting piece of merch right here. But Allie, oh, there it is.

I hear it in the background. Come here, chicken, chicken. That's what it says. This is a Vanessa plushie, one of one. Think of like a Tickle Me Elmo, but it's inspired by Vanessa. That's it. It's a beautiful toy. What a great sex doll, huh?

Imagine what you could do with it. Why? Why? Well, you can feel her little boobies right there. Yeah, yeah. She's got, for some reason, she's got huge cleavage. I don't know why. You could undress her.

He made this doll to be so sexual. But there's Allie's now removing the... Do you like this, Vanessa? That's so weird. You guys are so weird. You creep me out. Yeah, Allie, that's strange. That is very strange.

I'm sorry. I thought we were all doing this. But Lo and By, I talked about a good surprise. That was not the surprise because we got that a few months ago. Here is the surprise. Vanessa, congratulations. You now have friends in the world of dolls. Introducing.

Oh, no. Grab your... Mine just fell all over the floor. All right. Introducing. This is very exciting. Look at this. This is the first ever.

That's supposed to be Allie and me. Plushie doll. to go with the Vanessa now. It's a full and complete set. Klein and Allie Talking Collectors plush set comes with accessories too. You want to talk about the Christmas gift that no one wants this year,

you're looking at it right now. And that is, it's two of them. Hold on one second. Wow, what do they say? It says there are six different sound bites from the show, Omar, and the back even, I mean, what I love about the print gurus

is that they're so detailed and everything, and there's a whole spread on the back saying Klein and Allie came together to reinvent morning radio by building a passionate audience through genuine conversation and unique staples. Listeners can expect a brilliantly dumb, unpredictably funny, and authentic show every time. You're wearing your yellow flannel.

AI slop. It's back. The best is that Allie Stahl... I can't get away from it. Allie Stahl is back in the lesbian flannel that she had on. That I got rid of and burned years ago. And then she's holding coupons because she's El Cheapo, and she's got the funniest Rachel haircut she's ever had before.

She couldn't look like more of a Midwestern mom than in this doll. What's weird is that I'm flattered by this. Oh, hold on. Hold on. This is one of the sounds. Hold on. She's saying all of her most famous racist quotes, which is, hold on, squeeze her alley again. Kids will love this, I think, right?

Yeah, it's like Build-A-Dike. Yeah, it really is. Hold on. Is it saying anything else? Bojangles. Bojangles. She's, of course, repeating the same jokes again. So typical, Allie.

That's it. Hold on. A shoe shine? A shoe shine? You could use a bit of a shot. Why are so many of them shoe shines? You've wasted half of the sound box on shoe shines. I think that's all.

Let me see the other. You guys are stupid assholes. That's good. That sums you up. Let's see it. That's all you got. That's it. She's back to nothing again.

Why do I have no boobs, by the way? Allie is completely flat chested. Nothing sexual. He's like, I need to take every... You and Vanessa are like the same skin color, too, with these dolls. Yeah, this is like an anti-sex doll right here. No, no, I'm pasty. And that's Allie.

And then this one is obviously a dead ringer for me. Built actual size, they pointed out. Of course, you got the leather jacket. That's what you wear to every event. Gotta look cool, you know. Let's see what I say. Great guy like Diddy. Super.

I don't... Who picked the sound bites for the dolls? Great guy like Diddy? I'd like to smell this guy's penis. Oh, that's great. It's not great, Omar. I think Vanessa picked those out, by the way. She's trying to get back at us.

Oh, Cabana Klein. I like it. Stop talking about Diddy. I don't like it. So anyway, here you go. Add it to the collection. Yours kind of looks like a Backstreet Boy. Yeah, but like one that's relapsed.

Yeah. You definitely look like you are divorced. What a great... Collins looks like he owns a kebab shop. Yeah. Thank you. Or you're going to pick me up in the Uber. All right, there you have it.

So these are the new, add these to the Vanessa one now, Allie. We've got a complete set, almost. Next round will be the Jake and Omar ones, I'm sure. Thank you for that, Print Gurus. You knocked it out of the park. That's beautiful. That's good stuff right there. Aw, I'm very happy with these.

I'm not happy with how I look, but I'm happy that they exist. Let's give you something now. $100 of Allie's money if you want it. Call and claim it. 800-520-1067. We've got a little Allie Knows the News action in a moment. And then listen to this, because you'll win this later this morning. On the show.

Hit it. Around this time, except on Friday when you have a chance to win $500 of Allie's money. Right now, though, people on the phone that want to make Allie poor and you get rich and prove you know more about the news than she does. We say hi to Aaron in Arcadia. Good morning, Aaron. Good morning, Klein and Allie. Nice to meet you. Allie will leave the KROQ studios.

And the second she's out of here, your round of questions will begin. We ask that you answer these questions quickly, confidently, and accurately so that we can pay the people. And we are rooting for you. As always, your round begins. right now. Allie knows the news. What was found inside of a shipment of Tic Tacs

as they entered the port of Los Angeles? They found something inside of it. Cocaine. When in doubt, just say cocaine. Question number two. Six Flags is officially closing what roller coaster

after multiple allegations of injuries from riders of that coaster? That too. tattoo tattoo or whatever tattoo got it you got a question number three burgers from this fast food chain will now be popping up in vending machines at hundreds of gas stations after a new partnership has been announced burgers from where will be popping up in vending machines at gas stations that sounds delicious burger king burger king all right this animated duo is finally going back

to their creator after he got the rights back from Paramount. Animated duo. The rights now finally going back to the person who created this animated duo.

Walt Disney. Walt Disney and final question. This is now the best city to retire in according to a new poll out today. If you want to retire,

This is the place you should be retiring. Miami. Miami. All right. Let's bring Allie and we'll score it together. All questions about things in the news? That hurricane that was going to hit us, not apparently a threat anymore, but it's going to get humid here. That's not good for your hair.

It's just as bad. Just as maybe worse. Question number one, Allie. Yes. What was found inside of a shipment of Tic Tacs as they arrived at the Port of Los Angeles making the news? Other than terrible flavor. I would say, I think it was bugs.

He said cocaine. They always say don't smuggle something good inside of something great. But what they found was, especially inside of those orange Tic Tacs, was little bugs, ants from another land. Ants that are not that big. Meth ants or just ants? I think regular ants, but not the type of ants we have here in L.A. They were international ants sneaking in.

Bugs. Allie gets the point. We go to question number two. So no one put them there. They were just there. I think they were there, and they're trying to figure out how. But it's a big problem, obviously, as they try to keep, you know. Who knows?

Those ants start eating our coyotes. We've got a real problem. Probably coming to your house. Question number two. Allie's up 1-0. Six Flags has officially closed what roller coaster after multiple reports of alleged injuries that happened on that ride? I believe it is X2. He said, which one did you say?

X-2. That's right. The correct answer is X-2. He was almost there, but not quite. X-2 now is going to be close. Head injuries, right? That was that one. There's been a few, but now they are just saying, no one can ride this ride anymore.

That ride is terrifying, man. Don't you think, though, that this is the equivalent of a new dealer in town and then there's overdoses where you're like, whoa, that's got to be really good stuff? Where, like you say, you want to get on the ride now? Right. But, I mean, it's been around. Whoa, head injuries. I got to try that ride. X2's not new.

It's been open for years. No, but, I mean, meth's been around for years. Right. Sometimes there's just really good meth every once in a while. We've got a question number three. Allie is up 2-0 now. So we've got a question three. Burgers from this fast food chain will now be available at vending machines at gas stations,

hundreds of gas stations, after a new partnership was announced. Huh. Seems like a Burger King thing. He said that as well. Burger King. You guys aren't thinking small enough. White Castle. Oh, I did know this.

White Castle. You can still, I think you can actually find White Castle burgers in the vending machine. Yeah, wasn't that already a thing? I think at the Children's Hospital in LA, where I've spent many a times at the ER, I think they have White Castles. But I think now it's about to blow up because they're going to all these gas stations, including perhaps everyone's favorite gas station known as Buc-ee's, Jake. Shut up. Question four. Ali's up two right now.

And we head to the fourth question. This animated duo is about to go back to the creator of the animated duo after no longer being under the control of Paramount. He's getting control of the characters he created many years ago. Which animated duo is finally now going back to their creator? Animated duo? The Mario Brothers? I have no idea. He guessed Walt Disney, but you're not thinking, Allie, of the greatest fans of GWAR that ever were and ever will be, Beavis and Butthead.

Oh, yes. Beavis and Butthead. Mike Judge has not been able to own these characters in forever. Paramount's out of control, and now he's finally getting control back of his two characters, Beavis and Butthead. Do you think they'll come back again? I'm sure they will. Will they already come back? I'm sure he could probably strike another deal with them now.

Cool. And we go to this final question. this is now the new best city to retire in according to a new poll out today if you want to retire

this is the city you should do it in God is it like Boca Raton Florida oh man you guys both

went Florida interesting he said Miami Allie went Boca you guys gotta go to the other side of the state Orlando

oh but it is Florida it is Florida of course because that's where you get all the tax breaks and all that humidity is good for your

rusty hips or whatever sadly at the end of it all You put in a decent effort. Allie wins. Aaron, what must you shamefully admit over the airwaves with K-Rock? Go ahead. This is Aaron from Arcadia, and Allie knows the news. There you have it.

Appreciate your playing. Sorry, playing. That's okay. Why is he apologizing to you? Because I wanted you to pay him, and everyone has a good laugh at your expense. Ah. K-Rock, we are Klein Allie's show. If you were at the bowl last night for Muse, and perhaps you were because it was sold out,

and I know we sent a lot of people there, then you had to make a tough decision, and that is, what do I do with my car? because the parking situation, I mean, parking situations at all places, SoFi has got its issues, Forum has its issues. Yes, but I think the Hollywood Bowl has the most complex parking situation of any venue in L.A. Yeah, I was explaining it to someone that was visiting from out of town when I went to the show that I was at recently, and they couldn't understand this concept of the stacked.

No one can. I don't know why it exists. Yeah, I was in a stacked situation, not just there. one other time in my entire life and it was not well documented it was stacked i just went back to the car like i like to do leave early and i was sitting there in bumper to bumper to bumper other cars and waiting for anyone to and no one else wanted to leave early so it's just me sitting in my car and especially missing the concert i tell you when you leave like this is a no re-entry thing that's okay i'll be driving out of here and then you get your car you're not going anywhere and the bowl is a weird spot because we all realize this but we all have very different

ways we try to handle the parking situation there well because i was i went last night johnny went last night jake went last night and all three of us had completely different approaches to how to get there and how to get back and then i talked to you this morning and you had a completely fourth option that was different than the previous three that we had years of trial and error it's years of being yeah but this is years of trial and error for like jake goes to a ton of shows he trammed it well jake uber there then i trammed out but jake is a he's a shuttle guy Jake loves a shuttle. I am not dependent on a shuttle.

I don't want to deal with a shuttle. Anytime Jake can be within close proximity to other people, he'll take that. I should be more public. Yeah, I want to be in a really tight bus, small bus with lots of people forced to smell me. I want to spread my smell out to an Uber, a tram, and my own car. It's like spraying little C's, like Johnny Appleseed. Is that your standard approach there? You will Uber in and shuttle out?

No, a lot of times I'll shuttle there, too, because there's a tram station really close to my house. So Jake's a shuttle guy. That's his way of handling it. So that's not me. Right. And that's fine. The shuttles are always full of people. There's a lot of people that are shuttle people.

I just don't like depending on the shuttle. And Jake, what does that cost you? It's like nothing. It's like five bucks or something. All right. And it costs? But then usually don't you have to pay for parking at the shuttle pickup? No.

There's a free parking lot there. And then a lot of times I'll just Uber to the shuttle thing. And it's like another $3 because it's so close. And the shuttle's, what, every 10 minutes? How often is that? Yeah, on the way there, yeah, like every 15 or so. And then on the way out, I mean, you walk right on. As soon as it gets filled up, you're out of there.

Too many steps. It's a lot. Totally. It's a lot of steps. Totally agree. Not worth it. What are you talking about? You don't even have to walk all the way down.

But it's like you got to get in the lot and then Uber to the parking lot and then get on the bus. And then what if you're the first person on the bus? You're like, how long do I have to wait here before this is full enough? On the way there, yeah, sometimes that does happen. No. See, it's not worth it. I'm not waiting around.

And then, Johnny, did you do residential? Yeah. Well, I always park. I always drive to any venue I go to. And at the Hollywood Bowl, I got a spot. It's totally cracked. It's the best. I don't even want to say it because it's so great.

It's a secret residential. We'll post the pin to the location. I'll post it on our Instagram so you can see. You got a GPS on me? I have a pin. But, yes, this is why I think this place is such a cluster F because there are people that have figured out a good way to do it and they don't want to share it.

Oh, yeah. There are good solutions to the problem, but people don't want to share the solution. When you see people walking up that big-ass hill, those are the people who don't know the hack. And that was me. And then your approach is, every approach is so specific to their personality. Before we get to mine, because mine is the best approach, you got scammed last night, which is hilarious. Well, I chose the let's find the cheapest parking possible approach, which is my approach to most things. And you can buy a spot at one of a million lots that are, quote, within a few miles of the venue, which at some point you go, why did I even drive?

Because I'm walking now forever. Well, the lot that a lot of people go to if the Hollywood Bowl parking lot is full is there's one that's just down the hill. I believe it's a shopping center or something. That was going to be $150. And I was like, well, I'm not doing that. Then you start fanning out and you go, okay, if I walk. So already that's like a 20-minute walk to that parking lot. Then I go, oh, if I walk another 5, 10 minutes, it goes down to $46.

But if I go one more block, it's $21. And then that's where my mind goes. I just keep fanning further and further. Oh, another three minutes. Okay, now we're at $7. I just said Pedro for $5. Exactly. So I purchase a $21 parking lot that says it is a 22-minute walk.

And we show up. And, you know, the directions on Spot Hero or whatever I use say, just show up. You have your license plate already, you know, in the system. There's no attendant. There's going to be a spot for you. You just park and leave. I show up, and there is no spot there whatsoever. The whole parking lot is full.

And it's clear that it's just a regular pay-to-park. Like, anybody can drive up there and pay to park. Of course it's full. So then my wife looks at me like, what have you done? Now we're going to be late. You prepaid $21 for a spot that claimed you'd have a spot in the lot, and it was full. And it's already far away. So now everything else is even more full and more sold out than it was hours ago and more expensive.

And more expensive. Exactly. Because they also know they're not dummies, the parking people. They got those flashing landing airplane lights to try to fool you, but they'll just keep jacking. As they get closer and closer and they know people are more desperate and more desperate, they just keep changing that price. Especially if they see somebody like me circling, they're like, this sucker. The third time she comes around, she's coming in to go $60, $70, $80 every single time. So I was able to finagle my way to another lot that was even farther away.

And this was after speaking to customer service. What is wrong with you? You're so rock and roll. Going out with you sounds just terrible. It really does. I was given a new reservation at a farther lot. I'm going to a muse show. Hello, I'm cool.

So, by the time we finally parked, it took an extra 20, 30 minutes just to find a new parking lot. And then we still had to walk. I believe it ended up being close to 30 minutes to get into the ball. What kind of mood are you even in by the time you get in? At that point, I feel like I would feel so defeated and angry. I wouldn't even want to be. I just want to go home. This is why you guys give me a hard time.

I never want to leave my house. Hey, we got there right as Portugal the Man was taking the stage. Okay, but still, you end up parking a 30-minute walk? I mean, downhill on the way back, it was closer to 25. What crossroads were you on? Las Palmas. Damn, dude, that's a hike. Jesus, Allie.

I was pretty close to work, actually. I mean, it was, but you know what? I like to tell myself I enjoy the walk. I enjoy the walking. It's a nice night. You know, there's feces on the ground. There's people that are living their lives. Katie was a little afraid at some of the side streets we took to get to the bowl, but we got there.

And in the end, not only did I only pay $21, I got refunded the $21. So I got free parking. Look, the best move you can pull there is you pull in as close as you can possibly pull in. And every time they try to stop you and say, show me a pass that says you can get in this lot, you just keep driving, like you pretend, you just wave and keep driving, wave and keep driving. And then eventually you get to a place where you can't go any further. And they say, you're not supposed to be here. You don't have a pass for this.

and then you take 20, 40, 60 cash whatever you have still worth it whatever you have I have no cash you bring cash and you say

hey can you find a place for the car 60 bucks oh you do that oh yeah make that sound 60 bucks look at that douche bag like that

it's very plushy of you this guy definitely makes that sound and then lo and behold come on my friend and then the guy goes and then the guy goes

and the guy's like no I'm your friend No, you're my friend. He goes, you got any more money in there? I go, that's it. That's all I got. They'll say, do you have any more? Because they know the game.

Really? So that you found this to be true over the years. I got 60. Take it or leave it. The guy looks around, takes a 60, and you find a spot. And you're right by the bowl, and you can pull in, pull out. You're not blocked in. That's the secret.

But you also leave the show early every single time. Yeah, of course. Every time. And I had to leave extra early because I do account for the walking. Right. That sounds so fun. Well, Muse, thanks for putting out a show last night. It was thoroughly enjoyed by everyone.

We will take a super quick break, and when we return, we have tickets for you to the Endless Summer Kegger, your ADD news, and a brand-new hour of the show, including a brand-new round of human bingo, which means we're probably looking for you. Listen closely and be ready to call if you fit the categories of the people we're looking for coming up after this.

From KROQ, Saul from Southgate, what can we do for you? What's up? Hey, I'm looking to get to the Endless Summer Kegger, man I'm ready to party Alright, you must have heard Vanessa yell this So you are as good as in And we will see you on Thursday

Get ready to drink with us And some other things we can talk about on the radio But it will be a good time And we will see you on Thursday Hold on, alright? That's a very excited winner right there Can't wait to meet everyone And that's going to be a good time

Jake's going to do a 45 second keg stand he claims. I bet I could do that, for sure. He says, not a problem. You bet you could do it. You claimed yesterday it wasn't an issue. 45 seconds? I remember saying that. That's what you said was a reasonable time. We said a minute. You said that was probably too long. 45, you said

no problem. I bet I could do it, yeah. Alright, well, we'll find out, and then Vanessa will do her first ever keg stand, and other fun stuff that will be happening as well. Right now, though, we get into your news, and more tickets coming up for the Endless Summer Kegger next hour. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News.

It only took 30 years, and I think a lot of people thought this day would never come. Finally, a conviction for the murder of Tupac. Keefie D. Davis was found guilty after a trial that seemed like it went by real fast. The jury only deliberated for a few hours, less than three to be exact. And I guess all the prosecutors had to do was read passages from his book admitting to all of this. He said repeatedly that he was in the Cadillac the night of the murder, And he said he gave the gun to somebody in the back seat and that this was all retaliation after Tupac's entourage beat up his nephew a few hours earlier, which seems like a very lopsided retaliation. My nephew gets beat up by Tupac's people, so I'm going to kill Tupac.

I mean, there's all these conspiracy theories about Diddy and, you know, the reason and the motivation for his death, for Tupac's death. Just seems like such a letdown, like just for beating up one kid. Yeah, but that's the thing. You mess with my crew, we go over the top, and then it's just, I'll tell you, learn. You know, but isn't it like eye for an eye? Like, beat him up. Right. Well, you don't know if he was trying to kill him, just shoot him, scare him.

I don't think, I think they wanted to kill him. The fact this took 30 years is crazy. And the fact that after 30 years, he was like, I guess I'm just going to start talking about this. Because, I mean, I think he had been talking about it here and there over the years, and they said his story kept changing over the years. But it's kind of crazy to think that somebody is finally going to go to prison for this and he could get life in prison. He probably will. I mean, the guy's 63, so I feel like he kind of got a pretty good run being like a gang leader and lasting that long free. Today is a big transition day for Apple. It is the first day of work for the new CEO, John Ternes.

Yesterday was Tim Cook's last day. I mean, this guy turned a 350 billion dollar company into a four trillion dollar company in 15 years. So he accomplished a lot, and that's a lot of pressure for the new guy. But Tim Cook, he said leading Apple has been the privilege of his life and that the handoff will be perfectly smooth. I hope he comes up with a flip phone because Apple needs something. No, they're doing a foldable phone. And they did announce that they have another Apple event coming up. And this guy, the new CEO, is like the hardware guy.

So he's the one who is like the brains behind all the iPhones and iPads, in which is their bread and butter. But if you're starting and you're taking over for somebody who is that successful, would you rather start at the top, like when the company is doing its best, or would you rather start when it is completely in the S-hole and you have to bring it back to...

Well, it's always better when it's down, as low as it could possibly be, and then you get to build it up and then you get to look like a hero, but... If it's successful... Like us. Cook, by the way, he had to take over for Jobs. Everyone said, no one can take over for Jobs,

But Jobs was dead. He didn't have a choice. Yeah, but also Jobs, you know, yes, he did grow Apple as well, but he made a lot of mistakes, too. He was also, like, not a nice person, that Jobs. He was, like, apparently universally, he was, like, not a good, like, he didn't have good bedside manner. Yeah, and from what I understand, Tim Cook was a very universally loved CEO. Sweet guy. Very sweet.

Right, because he likes that D. Oh, yeah. He loved it. Anyway, I don't know. Still loves it. I'm sure Apple would love to hear your thoughts. Apple needs something. Yes, because I know we're, at least I'm tired of this regular iPhone.

You just come up with iPhone 16, 17, 18, and it's the freaking same. Yeah, every year the glass is stronger. You hear that, John Turner? And the camera's better, and that's what they, and they add a new color. Yeah, the camera's better for like six months, and then it sucks. Like, how does that happen? Yeah, she's right. I'd love her to be a part of the Apple announcements.

I'd like Vanessa to speak at all of those announcements. You just pander her and like the Apple campus. They announce their biggest thing, and then Vanessa just goes, this sucks. This sex is terrible. When a criminal earns a nickname, it's a proud moment for a criminal, I believe, in a weird way. You've done enough damage to earn a nickname. And in this guy's case, he has been named the Burbank Butt Sniffer. And he's been sniffing butts since 2021, but in various public places.

And he's been arrested for it a lot. He was out on parole, but now he has been arrested again because he just can't stop sniffing butts. The Butt Sniffer has been arrested again. Two stores reported him acting suspiciously and bending down around people. Police tell NBC4 they reviewed security camera video from two locations and were able to identify him. They say he was booked on a parole violation. I know this is not a popular opinion, but let's just let the guy sniff butts. You wouldn't feel violated?

He loves it. Why don't we get a group of people that are okay with this or say, hey, this guy will give you 50 bucks to just bend down and smell your butt. I bet someone will be like, all right, I'd be one of those people. I don't think he's, the thing is about him paying for it. I think he likes feeling like he's violating. I feel that's the part of that that's all weird. Really? Are you sure?

Maybe he just really enjoys the butt. I mean, I don't know. Maybe he needs, he hasn't sniffed. I got the butt sniffer on the phone, please. Yeah, if you could book him. We have a lot of calls about it. My friend, you see they caught the butt sniffer. Yeah, he's smelling people's butts and stuff.

He kind of looked like Shrek. What? But anyway, they caught the guy and glad because he shouldn't be smelling people's butts. I mean, it's like Jake's smelling people's armpits. I don't think it's a good idea. That's our in-depth report right there from a pantyhose Greg. He should sniff Jake's butt. He'd be cured.

That's what I'm saying. Maybe he just needs to smell the wrong butt. I could change him. He needs to cure his addiction. Get into a brand new hour of the show right now, and it will be the greatest hour of your life because we've got lots to give you, including tickets and tickets and more tickets. This is the world famous K-Rock. Listen to this.

In less than an hour, we get you some passes to Ohana Fest. Those are three-day passes. You'll be seeing Pearl Jam and Bad Religion, Billy Idol, and many more. We have that coming up at 9 a.m. sharp. This hour, though, to look forward to, more access, Klein Alley Show, Endless Summer of Kegger, also known as the Klam Slam, the Back Bay Amphitheater, Hyatt Regency, Newport Beach, happening this Thursday featuring

Slightly Stupid, and we think we're going to do the big gender reveal, so we will all know exactly what Allie's got cooking inside of her tummy. Finally. Finally. I've been waiting and waiting. We've got some pyrotechnics and other things being planned, and it's going to be a great time,

so hopefully you'll be a part of that. We also have for you this hour on the show four tickets. One day, general admission tickets to Universal Studios Hollywood. That's a tough one to say. God damn it. Wow.

Say that again. Say that to the client. Yeah, Vanessa needs the air check. Keep going. Universal Studios Hollywood Halloween Horror Nights. It's a lot of H's, guys. There's a lot more you have to read. Go ahead.

That's all I'm going to say. And you'll get into that this hour on the show. You don't have to know how to say it to go and have a good time. Halloween Horror Nights. The only thing scarier than what you'll see there is trying to say it all in one sentence. Where am I? It's quite difficult. So we got all that to look forward to this hour on the show.

If you need us, 800-520-1067. We are Klein Alley Show, and this is KROQ Still. We're getting to a brand new round of human bingo in moments. And if you're able to be one of the people that we are looking for, you will have instant access to the Endless Summer Kegger happening on Thursday. So be ready to listen and call. Did some human bingo last week. We got to meet people that accidentally hooked up with relatives.

We got to meet people that lost body parts. Yeah, I have a problem with the post that went up on Instagram for that, by the way. it's a picture of me reacting with the giant title card saying she made out with her brother and it's me kind of being like it's only been viewed by half a million people but it looks like Allie is now the official face of incest

which is fitting I don't mind because Allie has made out with her second step cousin well I had sex with my second step cousin but I've never made out with my brother but it does look like you're the one because it goes she made out with her brother I'm the only one in the shot

Your face looks all disgusted. So, anyway, we'll tell you what we're looking for coming up in a moment. And if it is you, please call us immediately. But first, let's get into the Internet's riddles and clickbait. Here we go. Bait. All right. This is a tough one right now.

It's a numbers one. I don't do well with numbers. But science has now finally cracked the number. and this is how long you have to actually spend with someone before you can consider them or be a friend. Real friend. This is the amount of time it takes. Can't meet someone on Tuesday and then by Thursday be like,

we're best friends because it's just not possible. So what is the amount of time? Now, yes, there are people you instantly click with. That's true. And there's people you go, I think it's very easy to tell. It's easier to tell if you don't have anything in common with someone pretty quickly. You're like, I don't know, something's wrong with that person's energy. I don't get it.

I've decided I don't like that person. I don't like that person. But to be a friend, I actually call it a friend. But there's a different level of friend. You're right. And there's also, I think, it depends on age. That's also true. Right.

Two kids, five-year-olds, they could be making me some fun first day of school. Oh, my God, their best friend. My kid has a new best friend every single day. So this is adults. We're talking about adults here. And we're talking about, Omar, I'm glad you brought that up. I do have different numbers depending on if this is a, quote, close friend or just when you go. Basically, this is when you cross the line from acquaintance to friend.

That's the number we're looking for. How long, how many hours must you spend with someone before you can officially go from where it's an acquaintance to a friend? Must be longer than a romantic relationship because I think those move faster than friendships. So I'm going to say six months. Six months? Yeah, I think it's a long time to actually hang out in the same social circles and get to the point where you're making your own plans with that person and texting them and having an actual ongoing friendship. I think it takes quite a while. I also think it's different for ladies than guys.

I think it's easier for guys to become friends than ladies. It's true. You like football? I like football. We're friends. Yeah, exactly. Let's go get a beer. Right.

Do you think farts are funny? Me too. We're friends. And women, there's a lot more to it. There's a lot more layers, yes. And then as you peel back the layers, you become different type of friends. Closer, less close. Over the years, it all morphs.

I think all the women go, like, I like her, but I think she could be crazy. But also, I could be crazy. But I love her, but I'm going to talk crap about her behind her back. but then I'm still going to make plans with her because I love her. Anyway, let's go to happy hour. We're friends. So, Allie, you believe it's six months. Omar, what is the number?

That seems really long. I'm going to say you probably hang out a couple of weekends in a row, I'm guessing, a month. One month. A month. You know the person a month, you could get a pretty good gauge of if you want to be friends.

And I think, especially if you're a male, you just Just, yeah, you just become friends. It's all good. All right. Men are simple. Jake, you're a man of many friends. Yep.

They include bar buddy Bob. Yep. And bar buddy Bob. And the flight suit guy you always talk about. Oh, yeah, flight suit. He came with me to the muse last night. Uh-huh, uh-huh. But what is the time frame between stranger to acquaintance to friend?

Easy. Three hangs. First hang you meet, second hang you're like, oh, are you cool or not? Third hang, solidifies it. Man, Jake moves fast. This is why he already asked that girl he's sleeping with to be his girlfriend. Right. He doesn't have time for that.

It's exclusive. It's the same thing. Yeah, you're saying the same words, Jake. You are. The correct answer is, and they went by hours, so it's confusing because you guys are... Hours? The amount of hours you must spend with someone. It's not about amount of hangs.

It's a time thing. If you spend 50 hours with someone, you can go from acquaintance to casual friend. That's a 50-hour commitment of time. Yeah, so then my estimate is probably pretty accurate. You chat when you see each other, but you're not necessarily making plans outside of shared spaces yet. So it's someone you know from work or a friend of a friend or you just go to the same class or whatever you talk. 50 hours of kind of interaction with that person is when you go. I think we're now past the point of being complete.

And if you think about 50 hours, what, each hang is an hour or two? That's 25 to 30 hangouts. Right. No way. They say from casual friend to real friend, that's 90 hours. 90 hours of time with someone before you go, hey, I think that we're actually friends now. Start hanging out on purpose.

Start sharing actual personal thoughts, whatever, with each other. But to have a, quote, real friend or a close friend, it is over 200 hours. Oh, my God. Of time together. And then after 5 to 10 years, you start going, why is this person still my friend? Right.

I've spent way too many hours with this person. I don't think I like them. I don't like her anymore. They owe me money. But that's, you know, close friend, obviously, someone that you can call when you need to bury a body or you know hard times or whatever and that is there's a lot of times i think you uh in your head go like i want to invite someone to this or i do want to call someone with this but like i've gotten calls from people that i was shocked they

called me to tell me you know i'm getting married or i'm getting i was like why are you calling me about it we're still at the acquaintance level why are you calling me to tell me we're in the group text phase yeah we're not even an individual text so then i get the call and i'm like this must be an emergency i never get a call from this person and he's like hey we found out we're pregnant i'm like oh all right yay for you well i'm picking up a kid you do your thing so anyway that's the numbers 50 hours 90 hours 200 hours that gives you a sense of how much so if you meet someone today you got to put in that time if you want an actual so how many how close should we be then by now i think it resets oh so we're back to the beginning oh hey stranger

we get back in a moment looking with human bingo and we are looking for you if you fit into one of the following categories so be ready to call us if you fit into the following categories which we'll get into in a moment human bingo but here's your tease if you um have been banned from a place for any reason you're not allowed back we'd love to hear from you 800-520-1067 if you have currently a speech impediment we are looking for you as well at 800-520-1067 and finally if you have recently been dumped recently been broken up with i know it's a hard week for you probably 800-520-1067 we'll come back with our official human bingo card after this song for human bingo ladies and gentlemen welcome to a game of bingo unlike any other where you are the star this

is human. Bingo! Up the grabs. Tickets to the Endless Summer Kegger on Thursday. Slightly stupid. It's going to be a great hang. We will all be there. We hope you're there as well. And we're looking for you right now. Bingo! If you are one of the

following, and listen closely because this could be like, wait a minute, that's me they're talking about. Recently dumped. Very recently dumped. You're single right now. You were broken up with. That's a bummer, but you know it'll be even better when you're posting photos of you at the Endless Summer Kegger and then your ex is going,

God, why? Why did I break up with this person? What a catch. I wonder if those dumpings happen as regularly as they used to. I feel like now people

kind of know that it's mutual or that you're about to be dumped. Like, you can see it coming. How often are you, like, blindsided? We'll go with that as well

as if you have a speech impediment. It doesn't matter what that speech impediment is. There's a bunch of different ones you could have. I feel like our show's got most of them covered, actually.

But if you'd like to join us for that, 800-520-1067. Klein's had a few of them this morning. Oh, man, that's rough. Those stutters become super contagious pretty quickly. And since Omar's probably not going to be at the kegger, we need someone to replace him with a speech impediment.

Someone needs to stutter. Stutter, stutter. And finally, we're looking for you if you've ever been banned from a place. Banned for life would be preferable, but there's different reasons you've been banned. And sometimes it's a temporary ban, and sometimes, like one of my buddies

I went to Vegas with one time, where he is never allowed back in a wind property ever again for the remainder of his life, which is a crazy ban to get. And I think they actually follow through on that. We say good morning now to our first person on Human Bingo, and this is Jenny. Jenny, why are you calling us? Which category fits you?

Hi, good morning, Sweet Divots. Sweet Divots. So, I am banned from every Target in Orange County. Damn, amazing. How did that happen? So, shoplifting? Yep, yeah. Yep, I knew.

Like one time or multiple? Multiple. supply would go to like every target every day basically and then they tracked you down finally and they said now you are banned from every target just in orange county though just in orange county oh yeah they built a big case oh what were you stealing just stuff for you or stuff to sell um stuff to sell and was this uh the was this the only store that you would rob from or Or were you going to other stores, too? The only store on, like, that scale.

And did you have to do time for this? Like, when they eventually caught up to you, what happened? Yeah, I had to do a couple months in jail. Oh, that's not bad. What was your method of stealing? Was it the thing where you'd get the expensive stuff but then scan the little piece of produce and so it looked like you weren't...

It was a self-checkout stealing? Or was it putting stuff... Was it alley stealing? No, you tried to drop a... No, it wasn't alley stealing. It would be like I would go fill up, like, a suitcase. I would leave and, like, my boyfriend at the time would come in and, like, leave with it.

So you would fill up a suitcase. Was it a suitcase you brought or you'd go grab a suitcase from Target, then fill it up with stuff and then wheel it out? I got one of theirs, yeah. Yeah, smart. I kind of did that recently, actually. All right.

You did what? All right, hold on one second. So now you're not allowed back into it. And have you tested the system, by the way? Have you tried to go into a Target in Orange County to see if they throw you out? I haven't. Well, out of curiosity, what's the biggest item

you sold? Like, I know you stole stuff and then sold it online or whatever. It was only, like, one thing, and I'm not proud because I'm a mom now, but I would do a baby formula. Oh. I would probably buy that from somebody secondhand for cheaper. That's why they lock that stuff up, though.

It's hard to get that baby formula. You need two key, that's a two-key system a lot of places. Not even one key, two keys. Like, they're launching a nuclear weapon just to get some formula. Alright, we say hi now to someone else who fits one of the categories. Alvin, excuse me, Al V is how your name is written here.

Good morning, Al V. Hey, good morning. What happened to you? I don't know. The girlfriend I was dating dumped me like over text last night. She, I don't know. I think she took things personally. She liked that I joked around, but took some of my jokes seriously.

Then I stopped joking around and asked me why I stopped joking around. I honestly think she was a space cadet, which I was fine kind of working through. But last night, she just said she had enough. So I found myself newly single this morning. And how long were you together? We were together for six months. What did the text say exactly? Yeah, she just said, well, then she goes, hey, you want to talk tonight?

And I said, hey, I'm kind of spent. Can we talk tomorrow instead? And then she said, this is ridiculous. I'm done. And then she said, yeah. She said, you left a water bottle and a jacket here. So I just sent her back a buy Felicia gift and said to throw it in the trash. That was it.

Damn. I mean, she was looking for a reason. It's like, I'm kind of tired. Ugh, it's always tired with you. We're done. All right, hold on one second. That's Albie. Recently dumped via text last night.

Six months relationship. Down the tubes. That must be kind of, I mean, it sounds like he's kind of heartbroken, but also it'd be nice to be on the rebound at an event like the Kegger. Noah, you have been banned, you've been broken up with, or you have a speech impediment? i have been banned from where i got banned from a hotel just outside of whitefish montana because it's a great place to be banned from just because i don't think it's going to affect your life too much yeah when are you going to go there again well i guess if i wanted to go skiing i i

would go there but just i wouldn't say at the best western why did you get banned um i used to work in the conservation corps and we would go camping for 10 days at a time for work and then we would come back from work but we wouldn't have anywhere to stay other than more camping so we would go to this hotel because it was cheap and you know one or two of us would buy the room and then everyone else would sneak through the window but we weren't being very sneaky apparently yeah so is that a lifetime ban or is that a did they put a time frame on it um i feel like at one point they definitely knew who we were um but i could probably go back now all right well then uh hold Hold on one second.

I mean, technically, you're not banned if you can go back. What's the problem here? Well, you can't sneak people. There's a rule how many people you can have in a room. And then if you're obviously got people climbing through the window, the hotel doesn't like that at all. So then, you know, they toss you out. I feel like that's one of the tamest things to go on at a Best Western.

You've never been thrown out of a hotel before? Me? No. Never. Have you? Yeah, oh, yeah. Why? A different thing, different reasons. But, I mean, there was times when security would come up,

and they would say, you get a warning, and then if you don't. Because it's, like, too loud or something? Too loud or something going on. in the room. What was this, in Vegas? Once in Vegas, once in Syracuse, New York. You have to do a lot to get thrown out of a Vegas hotel. Once in Canada, I was thrown out of a hotel in Canada, Marriott, the Chateau

Champlain Marriott in Canada, in Montreal. Because of noise? Yeah, party situation thing. Yeah, I mean, I just... Everyone get out of here. Get your stuff. Get out of here. The security stands there, watches you pack your luggage, you pull it down the hallway. Well, you know that just means somebody below you complained enough times.

Penny, how's Greg? Why are you calling? Well, because one thing, you know, Klein, I like you a lot. You're one of my best friends. You know that. Come on. I just call them because I've been banned like 25 places. I don't know why they don't like me. I asked the other day, I don't think you ever left this message on the go line, which is crazy because most of the other messages there are you.

But what are some of the places you've been banned from? I know Starbucks has banned you. Oh, hell yeah. That's the one I got arrested at. Okay, so everyone from, like, let's see, Denny's, I got banned from the Stater Brothers, I got banned from every frickin' dispensary I've been in, you know, and it just goes on, it just goes on. How you doing today, Allie? How's the baby doing? Hold on, hold on, hold on. You're a great sidestepper.

Patios, Greg, you've only given us, so you've been banned from a Stater Brothers, Starbucks, all of the weed stores because you go in there and you ask them for free nugs and then you harass the patrons. But that's only the tip of the iceberg. Do you think there's other places you've been banned from as well, like restaurants as well? That is the truth. That is the truth. Like Chipotle, they don't like me there. Why'd you get kicked out of Chipotle? It's always the same, I'm sure.

No, I'm in appropriation in little ways. In little ways, I'm appropriated. You know, I was told a story about Pantyhose Greg that he was at the Megan Holiday donut fundraiser over the weekend, Allie. Oh, yeah, I was there. And I was told that he was going up to people, like strangers there, and saying to them, Hey, do you listen to K-Rock in the mornings? I'm Pantyhose Greg. Is that true?

Yeah, I was there. I got to let them know that it's me, because then they get, like, all excited. They're like, can we do a selfie? Has that ever happened? Oh, yeah, all the time. When I come to your events, people are like, can I get a selfie, Pantyhose Greg? Like that, you know? So you pulled a do you know who I am at Trejo's Donuts at an event with Megan Holiday?

I think he was hitting on Ginger Justin's wife. I heard that he approached Ginger Justin's wife and was, like, smitten by her and was, like, trying to play the whole, like, I'm a star. Have you ever heard of the name Pantyhose Greg? You're talking to him. I'd like to take you out to Chipotle later, but I can't. I can't take you anywhere. All right, Pantyhose Greg, hold on one second.

That guy's been banned by a lot of places. We say hi now to Sarah. Sarah, what's going on? Hi. Good morning. Oh, good morning. Hey. Why are you calling?

I was broken up after 14 years on a Post-it note. On a Post-it note? Wow. That's cool. That's cool. So what did the Post-it note say? Yeah, he just didn't commit, man-child. Well, after 14 years, he kind of committed, right?

Well, he didn't go to your next... No, we didn't live together or anything. So, it was... But still... What did the post-it note say? What did it say? It just said he didn't have the bandwidth to be in a relationship at this moment

because he was overwhelmed with life. That's a big post-it note. I know, you can fit that much on a post-it? I feel like there's like four words max on those things. All right. He wrote small. Hold on one second. You wrote it really small.

Hey, Rudy, speech impediment? Rudy? Yes. Hi. You have a speech impediment? No. I got banned from casinos. Banned from a casino?

Yeah, a lot of banned people. What happened there? For counting cards. Oh, that's cool. Counting blackjack? Yeah, but that's all Harris casinos. How much money did you make before they shut you down? You know, it was funny because I made, well, it was $20,000.

But when they cut me off, I wasn't winning. I was actually, I wasn't winning at all. I had like about $800 in my hand. Yeah, but maybe they had enough footage of you. They can tell the way you were gambling, raising your bets when the shoe was favorable. It sucks because, you know, you take the time to develop a skill, like counting cards, and that is not an easy skill to develop, and then you really don't have that many places to utilize it.

What was the game, Blackjack? I would imagine. It's the only place you can really count cards. Right, Rudy? What's that? That's okay. You're not that much fun. You know, if we invited him to the event, we do have Blackjack tables.

We do have our own Jack Black tables. He would just clean us all out. Let's see him get banned from our event. Yeah, maybe we should have a card counter there. Yeah. All right, listen. It's been an interesting round so far of human bingo. When we get back, I'll take the last few calls.

But if you have a speech impediment and you'd like to come to the Endless Summer of Kegger, we're going to pick our favorites from each category and give you those tickets after some Temper City self-aware on Karo Q. Thursday this week, Endless Summer of Kegger. Even though summer's technically coming to an end, Labor Day, we're going to make sure it lives on at least through Thursday at 8 p.m. Yay! It's going to be a good time. Slightly Stupid will be there. Allie's big gender reveal a lot of other things that we have in store for you if you make it out

and some limited edition Klein Allie show Slogger merch which will be debuting at the event it's going to be uh once again a good time and hopefully you can win your way in uh people starting to get desperate now and um and I get it maybe you don't care about us you want to go see Slightly Stupid that's cool maybe you just want an excuse to cut out of work early that day that's fine maybe you look back at this summer and go I haven't done anything fun this summer yet everything's expensive I want to go to a free event yeah we got you covered there as well 562 said, life is a lot better today because I won Kager tickets yesterday. No more being on the edge of my seat with speed dial in my hand.

I can now relax. Maybe enjoy the show a little more. Well, also, you could win your way in by answering some questions at the end to prove you've been paying attention. That's another way to get your way in. But right now, we're in the middle of a round of human bingo. Marie, quickly, we have to go ahead and pick our favorites from each category. Hi. Hi.

So, I have a really bad... Let me guess. You've been banned? No. You're banned from speaking. I have a really bad speech impediment where I stutter when I get really nervous and I get put on the spot. And has that been your whole life? Yeah.

I've actually taken a couple of speech impediment classes to speak correctly. Right. Why would you get such a great gift? Why would you try to correct it? because sometimes I just get in the way of trying to get something out no you can't tell

at all when I called I had to tell my name about like five times well I think that's normal regardless it takes her five times as well so it's a long screening process you guys have been on the phone

for a while yeah she's she's she's super patient with uh me trying to get my name out and is it true she needs to announce a slightly stupid on stage oh absolutely would that make you really nervous if you brought up slightly stupid in front of the thousands of people in attendance uh yes lovely you're in and is it true if you hear if you is it true you probably wouldn't do much better than us, to be honest. If you hear a stutter, does that trigger a stutter? Like if I were to play you Omar stuttering?

So then, yeah, I went outside and I took number one on the rug. She's laughing while stuttering. That's amazing. So Omar's stutter triggers your stutter. Yeah, just a little bit.

What did you say? How hot? This is the best blind date ever. Yeah, I would imagine so. So where are you from? What do you want to... Marie, talk to Omar directly. I don't want to get involved here.

Go ahead, Marie. Yeah. What, do you want to go to the Slightly Stupid Show? Are you a huge fan? Yeah. There's chemistry here. I can feel it. So, Marie, you would go to the...

You're free on Thursday? Yes, I would. And we bring you up on stage and you would intro Slightly Stupid before they go out and play. You're okay with that? Yeah. Can we get a sample of what that would sound like?

The, uh... The what? Sorry? The band Slightly Stupid that'll be playing there? If we were going to bring you up on stage to intro them to the crowd, what would that sound like? We say, and now our listener, Marie, and you get to go ahead and introduce the band. How would that sound? God, they're like in the wings going, do we come out? What is she going to do?

She's a half an hour of them being like that. It'll take a while. It'll take me a while. The man just leaves. I don't think they would come out. This is why I want to practice now, so that we're ready to do this. It's on Thursday. I think the more you practice, the more nervous she's going to get.

I'll say it now. You're going to say it. Ladies and gentlemen, get ready for Slightly Stupid. You know, whatever you want to say. Make it your own. Make it your own. Let's all say hi to our listener. Let me go ahead and make some sound.

Thank you guys, everyone, for coming out. Yeah, we love you. To Newport, we love you. Thanks for coming to the Back Bay Amphitheater. It's been an incredible night. Thanks for coming out. This was The Baby's Gender. And now let's bring out...

And now let's bring out listener Marie, who's going to introduce our band. Marie, make some noise. She's on stage. Everyone's looking at her. The mic is yours. Slightly stupid. Goddamn great.

You're coming. And one more time. They didn't hear her. The mic was not on. And it's slightly stupid. It sure is. Congratulations. We'll see you on Thursday, okay?

Okay. Okay, great. Thank you. She's exhausted. Okay. I don't think she wants to go anymore. That's good. All right, Allie, we have to take a break.

We have winners from other categories as well. Let her take us a break. Marie. Put Marie back on hold. Vanessa, put Marie back on hold. Marie, we got to go to break now because we're way, way, way, way, way behind. I'm catching it, Allie. Were you doing that on purpose?

No, I wasn't. I was like, God, he's funny today. Can you throw us to break? and and we're gonna go on break perfect we have more you want to do it better no i'm gonna be right back after uh this i'm k rock you want to win something from us and i don't see why you wouldn't you put up with us long enough we have your add news to get to and then 9 a.m hits and we have three day passes for ohana fest get a load of this pearl jam bad religion Billy Idol and many more

and really I had you at Pearl Jam but it'll be three day passes for you you'll be going to Doheny State Beach and it's happening September 25th through the 27th and we have your tickets at 9 again at noon and at 5 p.m. today every other hour all day long you'll be winning either tickets to Ohana Fest

or tickets to Ocean Way where you'll be seeing the Killers, Sublime, Jack White and more so just keep listening and be ready to call us the second we're done with this your ADD News Grab your Adderall It's time for ADD News. Well, it was breaking news yesterday.

First, there was the breaking news about Lionel Richie being in the hospital. And then there was the news that Lionel Messi is retiring from Argentina football. That's why so many people have been approaching me. The last 24 hours. Because they think you're him. Because I get confused. People think that I'm him. Are you just saying, lo siento, lo siento?

Sorry, I quit. No more, no mas. Now, this is one of those I'm retiring, but not really retiring announcements, which I think happen more and more. Now, when somebody announces a retirement, they could announce they're unretiring or pausing their retirement a year later. Or they could kind of half retire to leave the door open for millions more dollars. Aaron Donald, I mean, there's no shortage. Yeah, so he's retiring from Argentina football, the national team. And he put out a Instagram post saying, after the time that passed since the final, thinking about it a lot,

I want to communicate to everyone that I'm retiring from the national team. It was a decision that hurt and hurts my soul. But I understand that this is the moment. I swear to you, I have always gave everything, not only the last few years where everything was won, but also before. And I always fought and left everything for this shirt to give them joy and make them feel proud to be Argentines through football. He also said that he wrote these words on July 21st, two days after the final. But today and after my dad, I am more convinced than ever because, as you know, his father died recently. So he will continue to play for the Major League Soccer Club Inter-Miami.

He's 39 years old, so he's still got plenty of, I mean, I guess a few more years of soccer and a lot of more millions of dollars to make. Oh, yeah. And his face is on a lot of products these days. I feel like half the stuff I saw at Vons, his face was on. Yeah, that's a good point, J. Hold up the Messi doll we just got today. This is the Lionel Messi doll. It's a very popular doll.

Look at that, huh? Look how cool he is. This is part of his statement. That's a nice statement right there. Wow. Very edgy. Very edgy. That's weird.

You know what? We do in the locker room, but it stays in the locker room, okay? You're not watching along on YouTube right now. We have some new dolls that have been brought into the K-Rock studios now to complete the Vanessa set, where you now have an Allie doll and a Klein doll. And yes, the Allie one is in her patent-pending yellow flannel. Make the Klein doll make out with Vanessa. Why, Omar?

Why are you like this? Why can't I make out with Vanessa? All right, whatever. Vanessa, who do you want your doll? Do you want to ify tower her, Ali? I don't want anyone to kiss my doll. You freaking creeps. We're family.

Ify tower here. Let's ify tower her. Ali's doing this now. And don't bring this up to HR later, Vanessa. Oh, there's proof. HR, just look at the YouTube stream. I am being harassed. First of all, it's your doll.

And your doll has giant... I think this is how they demonstrate sexual harassment. It is. Touch the doll. Go ahead. Allie's going to demonstrate now. Oh, boy. Oh, I'm uncomfortable with this now.

Oh, my God. Is that how you do that? I never knew how to do that. Vanessa, look at you, huh? Oh, man. Make Vanessa make the sounds while that's going on, Allie. She's... Oh, we're switching positions now.

Now I'm in the middle. I don't like that at all. I don't like that. Oh, it's like finger cuffs. All right. Well, there you have it. Oh, man. Vanessa, what do you think?

I know you like puppet shows, so is that cool? Alfie Tower. Alfie Tower, that's right. She's drafting an email to Honeycutt right now. Oh, no. She doesn't work here anymore. I should have drafted this yesterday during the funny draft, and that would be parents that embarrass themselves at their kids' game.

It's always so great because they just get so invested. They get heated, maybe they get a little drunk, and then they do something embarrassing and get cited or arrested. This afternoon, a police department in Wisconsin is investigating after a father was caught on video tripping a child in the middle of a football game you can see the man stick his leg out tripping a nine-year-old player police say the man was a parent on the opposing team mvp that's mvp right there that's like anything to win incredible and then i know we recently talked to a couple people who've been dumped and that sucks

it's a bad feeling but you should be happy to know that as a newly single person you are primed for self-expansion they've done some research and they looked at more than 700 single adults and they determined that being single can lend itself to a lot of self-expansion a chance to try new things build skills widen your social world and they say that being single is a way to grow much better than you would if you were in a couple and i totally agree that is so true It is one, the one downside right now. And yeah, sure, my wife's okay and the kids and everything. But if I had a year of being single, and I'm not even just talking about trying to get out there and get some strange.

I'm talking about all of... Do you want some more strange? No, I don't want more strange with the dolls. Excuse me, sir. What I'm talking about is all of the things I would do with my additional time. That would be great for a variety of things. Probably make this a much better radio show. My friend was, I mean, she's now newly in a relationship, but her path to self-discovery over the last, like, five years.

I wouldn't call it that because that sounds real gay, Allie, but I mean, I would definitely. But it's like, I'm going to go to Bali. I'm going to go, like, she just went through so many incredible life experiences, and she got really comfortable with being by herself and figuring out who she is and what she likes. I mean, a lot of people don't get that opportunity. I just wanted to watch a few seasons of Full Swing on Netflix. Oh. But that's cool, too. Is that your self-expansion?

I just wanted to catch up. Let's get into a brand new hour of the show right now and get you to a festival on the beach to cool off. Here we go. This is the world famous K-Rock. You for three days on the beach, Doheny State Beach to be exact, at Ohana Fest.

Call it 20 right now, 800-520-1067. You will see some Pearl Jam, some Bad Religion, some Fontaine's DC, some Billy Idol and more and that complete lineup and all the details I'm sure is at krock.com. But you don't have to worry about any of that

as long as you win your tickets right now by being the 20th caller. at 800-520-1067. Nice to meet you if you're a new listener to the show. You're using us for tickets so you're tuned in right now

for that. My name's Klein. There's Allie. Morning. That is DJ Omar Khan over there. Hello. Jake Znerd.

What's up? In the back room taking your calls. Postmaster Johnny and producer Vanessa who is currently smoking a cigarette based on what just took place

here in the studio. Oh. That was aggressive. Yeah, I'm exhausted. I'm sore. We all are cramped up. Gotta get some electrolytes. This hour on the show,

brand new month. Welcome to September means a new round of shows coming to Netflix. We'll get into a round of Netflix or Netflix. And we also have for you something that is happening in another country that we need to decide should we import to America immediately or keep it where it is.

We've had, if you look over all the import exports we've had on the show, a lot of these great ideas from other countries we still don't have here, even though we pretty much unanimously voted to bring them to America. These are fantastic ideas. Why is only Germany getting this?

Or why is only North Korea? Why does only Japan have panty vending machines? Right. We want some panty vending machines, too. We can be creeps. But we have something happening, I think, this time in Italy, I believe, that we need to have a serious conversation about bringing to America. I think people are going to be on board with this, so we will get into that this hour as well and much more. If you need us, phones, text line are the same as yesterday, 800-520-1067 or 323-TIBOLI if you're nasty.

and we say good morning to our 20th caller. There have been 19 disappointed people and it's all led us to meet Karina on KROQ. Hi, Karina. Hello, Karina. Hello. You are the 20th caller. Oh, my God, yes!

You know what that means, right? Yes, I do. I guess we go to the beach fest. You're going to Ohana. The beach fest. Ohana best. I love the beach. That's okay.

It's a lot of names to keep track of. So many things going on. This is a good one, though. Pearl Jam, Bad Religion, Billy Idol, and more. And you will be there. Hold on one second. And thank you for waking up with K-Rock. Really appreciate it.

Hold on. No problem. Thank you. Yeah, you're very welcome. Right there is Corina, a winner. You'll have another chance in an hour. And the next festival up for grabs, we'll send you to Santa Monica for some killers.

Sublime and Jack White. And that's happening in less than an hour on K-Rock. K-Rock, we're your client alley show. People starting to get desperate for the endless summer kegger happening on Thursday. Thursday. And don't worry, you'll have multiple more chances today to win your way in, including that end-of-show Klein Alley Show quiz

if you've been paying attention. Not a lot of people have the ability to listen for four hours of this nonsense and call in and answer questions. Yesterday, a guy went three in a row right out of the gate, so there was only one contestant. Usually, it takes us three, four contestants to find a winner, and that could be you coming up later this morning. Plus another chance when you hear Vanessa yell

out, Kegs, to call us and win your way in. Right now, though, there is something happening in another country. And if you think about the greatest things we have in America, meatballs and menage a trois. They all started elsewhere. Did you say menage a trois? Oh, there she goes.

Mer, mer, mer, mer, mer, mer. Demonstrating with the dolls. That's right. Vanessa loves it. What's hanging off Vanessa in that? A little boo-boo. Oh, she's got a little boo-boo hanging off her. Let's force him now.

She gets freaky. Damn, Vanessa. You nasty girl. So anyway, we like to find things happening in other countries and decide once and for all, is this worthy of an import Or do we keep it exactly where it is? And now we turn to the fine people of Italy. Yeah, which have more class than we Americans do, I like to think.

And in America, it is technically illegal to be on your phone while driving, though most people do text and drive. I know there's a lot of billboards saying that we shouldn't do it, but a lot of people do. And if you get pulled over, you could get a pretty hefty ticket for that. If I look into another car and a person is not texting while driving. I'm like, what are you doing, just thinking? I assume that they're probably so drunk. Or they have a body in their trunk. Right.

They're doing something very suspicious. They don't want to be the person that gets pulled over for texting. And then they find out that they've got a brick of black tar heroin in their trunk. I don't know what makes me more mad when someone's a horrible driver and I drive by them and they're on their phone or when they're not. Yeah. And I'm like, you're this bad when you're paying attention? Right. Like you're not even distracted and you're this bad of a driver.

But in Italy, they are proposing a ban for pedestrians as well. So even if you are walking across the street and you're distracted by your phone, whether you're texting, messaging, using apps, anything that is, quote, distracted walking can also be fine worthy. So you would get fined. It would be like a regular, you know, kind of a low, be like a jaywalking ticket, like 86 bucks to start. But I'm sure if you get multiple offenses, it could be worse and worse. But they said that drivers often have to overcompensate for pedestrians who are staring at their phones, not paying attention to traffic. And pedestrians can be just as dangerous as distracted drivers. But that's Darwinism.

I mean, if you're so stupid that you walk into a busy street with cars zooming by because you can't get off Instagram, you deserve to be run down. And if we get rid of this, we will also get rid of that person who's tripping because they weren't looking where they were going. Which is so funny. It's so funny. Person that walks into the manhole, person that, you know, falls over the curb. I mean, I've been that before. I've accidentally stepped in things and on things and dog crap and other things because I was in my phone. And you learn, you're like, note to self, don't do that again.

I do support this, but also they've made us so dependent on our phones. Like when I'm trying to get around, say, a country like Italy that I'm unfamiliar with, I am staring at my phone because that's the only way I know where I'm going. Do you have to stare at it every second? Like step, okay, another step. I mean, I try to do the glance and be like, okay, I have to turn on blah, blah, blah street, but I don't really, I mean, it's a different language. There are streets I'm unfamiliar with,

so I'm always trying to make sure I'm walking in the right direction and that those little blue dots are moving along. Listen, I know we are, all of us are pretty much locked in to our phones constantly. And the nice thing about where I was over the weekend is that there was a big chunk of that area I had no service at all. And at that point, I just put the thing away, which was hard. That's part of the reason I used to love going to Mexico is that I had no service. I would check into the hotel, put my phone in the safe,

and I didn't even look at it again until we left. And then they switched it. Now you have service everywhere. But that's the only way I would ever put it down is if I was forced, if I didn't have any reason to use it. Yeah, the disconnected feeling is nice. And even then, now I basically just keep looking, going, all right, eventually I'll just keep looking

to see where the service is at. I guess I'll just switch to roaming and continue scrolling. I think this is a thing that would never work in America because they would give out so many tickets and they couldn't ban using your phone while walking. But I do think it should be like a three strikes your eye policy with people in general. Well, you know, I really think they should enforce it as at Disneyland.

I was just thinking that's one of the worst places because everyone's trying to... Everyone's trying to get the fast passes and do everything. Everything is on the phone. Mobile ordering. Everything is on the phone and you're trying to do it as you're walking somewhere. So it becomes so difficult to get around people because they're constantly walking while, you know, typing things and getting passes and ordering food. And that's why I think that everyone thinks the smart glasses, goggles, whatever, are going to be the future because it won't be looking down so much. We can do all that while we look straight ahead.

Right, exactly. And in this, if you are on Bluetooth or you have earpods or something like that, then you would be fine. 626 says, I see kids texting while riding bikes now. Yeah, I see them doing that for sure. I saw actually there was a kid who almost ran into me on his e-bike because he was on his phone while he was... There's a bunch of videos now where you see them glancing at their phone and they're running into windows or cars. Yeah. It's great.

It's great. Literally that e-bike that hit me, I'm sure that's what was happening because his phone was on the ground. You got hit by an e-bike? Remember? You're talking about when you ran into the guy and ran him over? No, when he ran into me. That's not what insurance or the court said. Yeah, because my car is bigger than an e-bike.

But his phone was on the ground and so was his vape. And I was like, this motherfucker was on his phone and he was vaping. Do you think that's how they determined the quote winner is which car, which I think is bigger? Literally, that's what insurance told me. And I was like, lame. Right. Your car is bigger. You lose.

But you were also on your phone, correct? I was parking. Right. I need both of my hands for that. So, anyway, to me, that's an import. Me too. I think that we can't control ourselves. We need the government to control it for us.

We have no self-discipline when it comes to phones. Even if they can do this in America, we won't follow it. Just like we don't follow the phone while driving one. When we get back, Netflix or Netflix, a brand new month means new shows are coming that you could be streaming. Some are real. Some are made up. If you can tell the difference between the real and the fake, you can win your way into either our endless summer kegger, or if you'd rather, we have tickets for you to go to Monster Energy SMX World Championship playoffs

at Dignity Health Sports Park on September 19th. That choice will be yours after this quick break on KROQ. KROQ, we are a Klein Alley show. It is September. There's a warning that a new month has officially begun, which is good news if you've run out of things to watch because it feels like at the end of every month you go, that's it, I've seen everything. There's nothing left. and then all of a sudden new shows pop up

and you have an opportunity to catch up on a bunch of new things you didn't necessarily care about and that's why we do Netflix or NotFlix to let you know some of the stuff coming to Netflix and other things that we've completely made up that should be shows. I'm fully back on Netflix and happily paying $20 a month. Allie gave up and she said she was out and she was going to save her money

and it only lasted one month before she came crawling back. It actually lasted two weeks and then I had two weeks of being on my friend's plan before I got kicked off of that and then eventually I caved and I've never looked back. It appears when you hear about shows like Is It Cake? You go, how is that a show?

But yet it is a show, and it's one of the greatest shows that ever was and ever will be. That's real. That's Netflix. So you'd hear this. And then we give you the idea for a show where a bunch of vegans bite into things

that look like meat and have to figure out which one is real and which one is not, and called Is It Steak? And that one is not made up. It's made up. Not real, Alan. It should be real.

That's what I'm trying to say. Man, we're kicking your ass today. It's a tough one today. We say hi to Raquel, the first one who would like to play Netflix. Hi, Raquel. Raquel, good morning. I've been drinking this morning. Hi, what's up?

Welcome to KROQ. Sweet dips. What's up? Sweet dips. All right, everyone who gets theirs right, Allie, write your name down. One of you will win either access to the endless summer kegger if you want. I'm going to write down your name if you get it right. All right, write down my name.

That's even better. This first show is either Netflix or not flicks, and it involves celebrities being interviewed inside of ice baths. and it is called Cold as Balls. This is celebrity interviews inside of ice baths or cold plunges. Is that Netflix or is that notflix? You know what? That sounds like a show, but I don't know what the name is. You think because of the name?

Cold as Balls. Is that Netflix? Is that notflix? I'm going to go with not. She says not. Show me not. What? That's a real show?

No way. That is a show that is being hosted by Kevin Hart, where he interviews the biggest names in sports while in ice baths, and it premieres on September 20th. That is a real show. Damn it. What are we doing? Sorry about that, Raquel. I'm sorry.

I was hoping it was made up, too. You know what screwed us up is the hot ones? Yeah. It's like, let's interview people while eating wings. Right. Now everyone's just like, let's pull an activity out of a hat and interview a celebrity while they're doing it. Yeah, but the name was kind of... I saw some actor recently, and he said it sucks because it used to be like you could just promote your project by going on a talk show or going on a radio show, and you'd talk about it.

And now they're like... You have to play soap bingo with Jimmy Fallon, okay? And then you're going to go eat some hot wings until your mouth falls off. You're going to go ahead and rappel off the side of a building while you're interviewed by a window washer, and you're also going to be slapped in the face by a kangaroo jerky. That's amazing that anyone survived. We don't have a name for it, but it's not enough anymore to just say, I'm in a movie, go see it. You've got to do these things.

Yeah, come into KROQ. We won't ask you to do anything. Yeah, just come in here. We won't put you on the lie detector test or force you to do a high-voltage food review. We say hi now to Eddie in Long Beach. Good morning, Eddie. Welcome to Netflix or Notflix. How goes it?

It's going well. We did. An 18-year-old who has never met his birth father is now placed in a house with 10 men, and they spend the weeks fishing and playing catch and talking, and at the end, he will have one chance to try to figure out who his actual father is in a show called Who's Your Daddy? Oh, man, not flicks.

You say not flicks. Sounds like something Netflix would do. Show me not flicks. Not! Not a real show, but a great idea for a show, Netflix. I would much rather watch that than cold as balls. Yeah, I mean, think about that for a second because you're trying to figure out

even as the viewer who's the dad. You don't know who the daddy is. And then at the end... Because it's called Who's Your Daddy? Right, no one knows who the daddy is. So you don't know. Even the dads don't know because they've all donated sperm.

That's the catch, Allie. I can't believe you didn't do an Is It Cake, you know, changeover with that title. Oh, well, I could have done that as well. I couldn't say that on the radio, sadly. We say hi to Nicole right now, listening to K-Rock. That is one person who was predicted correctly

in this round of Netflix or NotFlix. What's up, Nicole? How goes it? Hi, Ted. How are you? You know how the game goes, so let's get to it. It's time for your Netflix or Netflix. Here we go.

Part man, part dog, all cop. After a life-saving surgery fuses an injured police officer and his canine partner into a single crime-fighting hero, he now must protect the city while constantly fighting the urge to chase squirrels. This is called Dog Man. Oh, I know it's a book, I think. I'm going to say Netflix.

She says Netflix. You know it's a book, and you're guessing Netflix? Show me Netflix. Oh, Nicole. Sorry, Nicole. That is coming to Netflix on the 13th of September, and that is The Sound of Dog Man. I have to wait 12 more days for Dog Man?

Is it based on the book? Yeah, I think they made a movie. I think the movie was actually in theaters. I feel like they got my money. I think I went to Dog Man in theaters. I feel like I've seen this before. I read that book. I used to love that book.

Right. It seems like something Johnny would be into. It's Dog and Man. It's Dog Man because they got fused together, and they didn't really ask a lot of questions. But anyway, I'm so sorry that you thought that was me. I know it sounds stupid enough that I would have made it up, but that is real. Not stupid. And that is on Netflix starting September 13th.

All right. Well, Allie, only one person has predicted correctly. We say hi to Mike now in Westlake Village. Good morning, Mike, and welcome to KROQ Netflix or Notflix. How goes it? Good, I got it, Jim. A bunch of recently divorced women move into a college dorm to meet their next rebound relationship. The catch is that all of these guys are half their age.

This is called Got Milf? With a question mark. This is recently divorced women in their 40s moving into a college dorm to meet potential suitors that are half their age. is that Netflix, is that NotFlix? It's called Got Nelf? Yes, that's right. That's correct. Terrible joke.

Vanessa, don't judge the comedy. You say NotFlix? NotFlix. What if it was called NotFunnyFlix. What if it was called Cougar University? Does that change? That's not your alternate name. Let's say it's called

Cougar University. I'm going to say Not flicks. Okay, you're still going with the same guess. Not! Unbelievable. Funny. Well, these shows aren't easy to make up, Allie.

So you got that one right. Allie, two people have predicted correctly in this round of Netflix or not flicks. You know what? Let me see what they want. If they want different things, we can... Eddie, what did you want out of curiosity? I want to go to the Clam Slam. I got the day off.

As soon as these guys set the date. Oh, that's what I'm... Hold on. You already got the day off? Hey, Mike, what did you want to go to? Endless Summer. Oh. Oh, Vanessa, what do we do now?

Vanessa, can we get them both in? Okay, let's do it. All right, Mike, hold on. You're coming to the Clamslam. Eddie, we'll see you at the Endless Summer Clamslam, all right? Yes, sir. Thank you. You're welcome.

Hold on one second. That was fun. Allie, I don't have time to tell you about my lesbian theme show, but we'll save it for next time. Please tell me. It's a carpet store. Uh-huh. And lesbians work there.

Got it. And they're running out of money, so they have to turn it into a brothel. And what's the title? Munchin' Rugs. So on the nose. They're off. Fine alley shot. You don't want to miss a moment of the show, because you could miss a moment like this.

And now, it's time for a moment with Kevin. This is a phase that psychologists are warning you to avoid if you want your relationship to stay together or at least be somewhat happy. Phase. Toxic phase. Psychologists warning couples to avoid this toxic phase. I'm not reading it right.

Phase. Toxic phrase. It is a toxic phrase. That was a moment with Kevin. Something about this place makes you dumber. Every phrase is toxic at six in the morning. Jake's entering a phrase, excuse me, a phase in his relationship now. He's moving

to the next level, and I believe today, tonight, Jake, I believe, is the first time you've been invited to her place? No, first time I've been invited to her place for dinner. Clearly we listen. He's going to make me dinner. And that's a big step.

Cooking for someone? With no standards for meals? Right, but you'll be happy with anything she serves, right? Yeah. But this is what's interesting, is that Jake said to us, The good news is I don't have to bring anything because she said don't bring anything. Right, but does it really mean don't bring anything?

And there are different scenarios here where if you're, like, hosting a group, you know, and having a party and they say don't bring anything, a lot of people still bring something. But if you're one person, do you still not bring anything? I imagine Jake's still going to bring his cooler beer, right, over for himself? For himself. Yeah. And she tries to have one. That's my cooler beer.

Yeah, exactly. Because usually. I'll give her one. You said don't bring anything. I brought it. It's mine. Right. If Jake comes to things, usually he does always bring something.

He just brings something for himself. Singles. I remember that time I drove Jake all the way up to Big Bear. He showed up with one can of soda for the car ride for himself. Didn't he also bring a sandwich? And a bagel for himself. Yeah, one bagel. Don't worry.

I got a bagel. Oh, can I get the bagel? I'm hungry. Oh, that was my bagel. Oh, okay. It was my bagel. Right. No, I know.

But, I mean, if I'm going to drive you to Big Bear, you would think, and you said, I'm going to bring a bagel and drinks. I didn't realize you were just telling me what you were bringing for yourself. Well, you sure made it more clear. When Rip Nasty was a thing, Jake wouldn't share his beer with the guy whose house we were rehearsing at. Yeah, but that, dude, I didn't drink his beer. I drank my beer. Yeah, but he came up to your little ice chest, and he's like, oh, can I get one?

And Jake's like, nah. Jake said no? He said no. I was like, damn, bro, we're at his house rehearsing. You can't give him one beer. No wonder the band broke up. Someone says you don't have to bring anything, but they're making you dinner, even if it is just one person. You're not thinking about bringing anything, Jake?

Flowers, a bottle of wine, nothing? Vanessa told me I should bring flowers. Yeah, he should definitely bring flowers. Are you going to listen or no? Yeah, I think so. So does that mean you're stopping by the Hollywood Forever Cemetery and picking up a... I didn't even think about that. I know just the grave, Jake.

I do this all the time. Flowers could be sus, though. You got to be careful, though. You got to get the right flowers, not the two... Not the roses. Why? Is that too romantic? Oh, yeah, not roses. Yeah but if Jake

If Jake shows up With the carnations That's like a real That's like a cheap out flower too That's when I roll up With whatever's on The Ramones craze right now Great

They've got a lot of flowers This week You know with the Dolly star And the Ramones I mean there's a lot of flowers Just around You can give her a bouquet There are a bunch of free ones

On Hollywood Boulevard Dude some of those are in vases And they look nice Yeah See I got this from Dolly Parton's star On the Hollywood Walk of Fame I bet she'd actually like that

This is courtesy of Joey Ramone Yeah Jake, are you going to bring flowers? Because that is also, interestingly enough, I think that's another. You haven't done anything romantic in this relationship. This relationship has been strictly sexual so far. Yeah, pretty much. Well, I mean, we hang out and we do other stuff besides just baying.

What else have you done? We've gone to some shows. We've gone to numerous concerts together. Right. The shows you would go to regardless, you just bring her along. Yes. Right. And you're in a concert scenario where there's really not much talking happening.

You're kind of just watching a show. Sure. I could imagine her being like, hey, let me ask you. Not during the song. This is the sixth musical guitar solo. He's noodling. Let him noodle. He's noodling.

Jake, does she try to talk to you during the show? Sometimes. Less talking, more noodling. Does that bother you? Honestly, no, not really. Yeah. Right. But you haven't done a, have you done one activity yet that was an activity that was like.

Purely social. Or something that you know that she would like more than you. I think she actually really enjoys the shows. She's a big, like, music fan, too, and that's, I think, why we get along so well. Yeah, you guys like just going to shows and banging. You don't think there's... You have those things in common. You don't have any sort of weird feeling that maybe you're being used for your access to tickets to shows because of this place?

I don't think so, no. There's been numerous times I invite her out, and she'd be like, I can get my own ticket, and I already have tickets for us, so... So, what kind... Do you think you really will go to a store to get flowers? Yeah, I haven't bought flowers for a girl in a long time. And I think, yeah, I think she's flower worthy. Are you going grocery store flowers then? Well, where else do you get flowers? Side of road flowers are good.

I like side of road flowers. Go to Trader Joe's. They're really good and cheap. Trader Joe's has good, cheap options. Also, I would maybe not shun away from pick your own. Where? There's all sorts of weird stuff growing out of the streets here. Yeah, totally.

What kind of dinner is she making you tonight? Or is it a surprise? No idea. She's asked if I was allergic to anything. dietary restrictions, I said, hell no. But are you afraid if you eat something it's going to light up your ass? No, I wasn't until just now.

Did you give her a light up your ass list of things to avoid? I did not do that, no. I don't think that'd be nice. Please avoid the following food groups because they light up my ass. All food groups. I'm just going to eat it and cross my fingers and hold

whatever I have inside me until I leave her house. Are you nervous? Well, you said last time you spent the night You just held in, like, 12 hours worth of farts, right? Oh, yeah. I got out of the house, and, man, I, like, propelled myself down the street. Are you nervous that you're going to have a real conversation without any distraction? No.

I think we talk real easy. Yeah, like, the reality is, if you're going on a first few dates, and you're at a movie, or you're at a show, Ali's right. You only need a minute here, a minute there. To be tolerable. Right. You can just go, right, just kind of turn your head and go back to what's going on. Once you're sitting around at a table.

You got nothing to do but talk. Nothing but talky time. Hey, can I ask if you eat this meal and you don't really enjoy the meal, are you the type of guy that lies or would you tell her the truth? Good question. Man, it depends on how bad it would have to be. It would have to be like terrible. Really?

For me to say it was terrible. I feel like Jake loves good food and just okay food. When she brought in that trough of week old pasta, he ate all of it. That's good stuff. That is true. He ate every single bite, and there was cigarette ash in there and stuff. I liked it. Yeah, Jake will eat it.

I mean, that's the thing. I couldn't imagine it would be something that would be beneath his standard. And if you're someone who's going to invite someone over to cook for them, I think you know. You have to have a little confidence you know how to make one. I always tell you, you know how to make one thing. The amount of women I made gnocchi for on a – Oh, that's a romantic thing.

Because I thought it was going to be like gnocchi. I just learned – there's one thing I knew how to make. I said one thing. Yeah, but you know how to make a lot of things. Now I learn to make other things. Good enough first dates. Yeah, after you get to the second date, like gnocchi again. You're like, that's right.

It's my one thing. I'm the gnocchi guy. That's what I did. No means gnocchi. That's what we say on the date. So, Jake, I think it's going to be big for you tonight. I think this is a new step. And I will say my other piece of advice, I don't think you're much of a compliment guy.

You're not ready to hand out compliments, but compliment her on something, you know, whether it's her outfit or the dinner she made, something, just say it's good. usually if you're like hey how do you like it you'd be like fine it's fine yeah i hear you did you pull down your uh dating app stuff now are you still uh live on the apps uh i'm not like um active on them at all no but you're up that you're on there i think so but it's not like i'm not getting messages or i'm not messaging other people or anything like that i'm not even checking it and has has she brought up or have you brought up the conversation about exclusivity again as since you asked awkwardly after sex nope i'm gonna wait for a while because i don't want that

to happen again um but i think her i think her invited me over for dinner is a good sign did you say um when she invited you like absolutely i can be there wide open or did you do that thing we talked about where you're like let me check i'm not maybe i can move some things around i did think about doing what you said and i just i couldn't lie i said i would love that that's what i said i just i think being honest is as nice i think jake's in love yeah i think jake is definitely yeah i think he really likes it's kind of weird actually to be honest it's like i I feel bad because it's so much funnier when... When you get stumped?

Yeah, yeah. It's the best. When you're miserable, it's so much better for us. Can you please just not be happy? Yeah, all those women you went out with that would give you those terrible scores on the exit interview was so funny. 951 said we should stop giving you relationship advice, period,

and just let you do your thing. 562, though, has more advice for you. If you're going to get flowers, put them in a vase. Do not bring loose flowers and make the person trim the stems, find a vase, do all the water themselves. Jake's not doing that. Would you let Johnny sit outside the window

of the kitchen and feed you lines tonight? Like one of those old sitcoms where he gets to tell you what to say? I'm sure that would be terrible. Well, come on, I'd be down to do that. Give me a line, Johnny. Okay, let's say you walk in, compliment her on her hair

and say, oh, wow, I see you took a lot of time on your hair today. It looks great. That's creepy. That's a weird line. Well, what the hell? You put me on the spot. I'm not supposed to come up with a line on the spot. But that's how you're going to have to be in real life.

But, Jake, in all seriousness, I think what this is, and the text line agrees, especially women, they're chiming in. This is her, like, final, this is almost like the final interview. Yeah, 424 said an invite to dinner is a great sign. Yeah, because, oh, actually, it was last Friday. I took her and her friend out to a show, and we hung out afterwards. I got to, like, meet her friends and, like, converse and, like, hang out, and I thought that went well. But, Jake, I'm saying this is, like, this one is the, if this goes well, like, I think you're, it's couple times. Yeah, you did meet the friends already.

That's interesting. Met a friend, and then she's like, all right, bring him over. That's a huge step. So, I don't know. I mean, if this goes well, no pressure on you, because I know that makes your bowels explode and stuff. Well, now I'm starting to sweat already right now. Well, sorry we ruined it for you. It was nice while it lasted.

I think you're going to be great, Jake. 909 said take some Imodium. Plug yourself up before you go in there. Yeah, take a Gas-X, too, man. That'll help you. You can do that thing where you just shove a bunch of TP in your butt and just stop it up like a cork. Oh, I'm going to cork it?

Yeah. Yeah. And then if... And you'll be like, your hair looks great. That's how you worked on it. Yeah, Jake, I think it's going to go great. I'll just explode like a party favor. Tomorrow will be a great day to find out...

Uncorking of Jake. Let me show you this trick I got. How this went tomorrow. There goes Jake. All right, thanks. K-Rock, we are Klein Alley Show. It is September. Welcome to that month.

If this is the first time you're hearing about that, you should figure out how calendars work. We'll get into your news in a moment. But, of course, as always, there's a lot of requests on the GOAT line, and we try to make all of these requests become realities. Hey, Connie and Ali Show. This is Vincent. I'm calling because my 21st anniversary with my wife is September 3rd, and your guys' kegger is September 3rd. So we're going to see if we can go and hang out with you guys for our anniversary. No.

Thanks so much. But thank you. There's been a lot of stories, a lot of sob stories, a lot of reasons why. Hopefully, no, I think it would be great to have you guys there as well. In fact, we'll have many, many, many chances all morning long to win your way in. Give us a call back if you're interested. If not, we're going to go to Disneyland, I guess. Sweet divots, have a good one.

I think that's a better choice that day. But hopefully, I hope that we can make it happen for you. We have, Vanessa says, we still have many more opportunities to win your way into the endless summer kegger happening on Thursday in Newport Beach. So just keep listening for the sweet sounds of Vanessa saying CAGS and be ready to call us when we tell you to. Right now, though, your news. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. I don't know if I'll somehow be blamed for this one, but Lionel Richie is in the hospital. They say bad news comes in threes, especially when it comes to dying celebrities, though I think we've had way more than that by now.

Lionel Richie is currently in the ICU. He checked himself into the hospital after he performed in St. Louis, and apparently he appeared to be struggling towards the end of his show and asked for a chair while he performed his final song, All Night Long. All night. I know. I don't think that works from a chair.

That song, if you're saying that you're going to party all night long and you're sitting in a chair. I'm sitting in a chair all night long. Yeah. This chair. I don't think that's going to work. All night long. This chair.

Apparently, he was making comments about needing electrolytes, and maybe he was dehydrated, and it's hot in St. Louis, and things like that. So, hopefully, that's all that's going on. But he's been in the hospital for, you know, a few days. How old is he? You see, like, it seems like 80 seems to be the cutoff now. So, how old is Lionel Richie? Because it's hard to tell.

He's carrying one of those, like... I think he's... 77. Yeah, and his face is about 20. His face is 20, yeah. I was going to say, he's made of clay. So, I think he lasts longer when you're made of clay. I feel like even if he dies, his mustache will live.

Live forever. It'll live forever. So I was thinking, the first thought I had was, who's on the other side of us at Pink's? Oh, yeah. Well, that's right. Because anyone whose picture is touching our picture at Pink's, apparently their days are numbered. Dolly Parton, Ali, took her out real quick. Lionel Richie seems like a photo you would see at Pink's.

Yeah, he may be near us. We should check. We should send a warning out to all the publicists of any of the celebrities whose pictures are touching ours. Okay, my fellow Cheugy basic bitches, our time has ended. Leggings are done. They were always coming for us. When skinny jeans went out of style, we knew that our days were numbered for leggings. And this is slowly ending the athleisure trend, which is horrible because that was the greatest trend in all of women's fashion.

Just being comfortable and pretending like you were about to work out. Kind of started COVID-y times when everyone just went into the full-blown sweatpants lockdown mode. And then out of that, people just stopped really getting dressed for the day anymore. It was great. Yeah, it was a great thing for a long time. Why are we saying goodbye to this? And then they started making sweatpants, fancy pants, fancy sweats. So they were like, they were acceptable sweatpants.

You could wear them out. Yeah, and then it was like, aloe, I look sleek and like I'm about to go to the gym. I'm not going to because I would never ruin these aloe sweats by going to the gym in them. I think most people walking around in, quote, athleisure wear were not doing anything ath. They were just doing the leisure. Well, this news lady is not happy that the leggings trend is ending. The reign of the legging is over. Data from retail analysts shows that leggings dropped nearly 50% of the retail assortments in 2022 to roughly 39% today.

That guy's not interested in this story at all. As fashion shifts toward looser, relaxed silhouettes, that's true people wearing more baggier clothes and pants. Gotcha. People on social media claim skin-tight leggings are now for boomers. Oh, no. What is that guy going to do about it? We will never know. and in one of the most cringe announcements ever tom cruise and anne hathaway are confirming that

they will star in days of thunder 2 there was uh already some talk about a sequel and tom cruise was confirmed for that but this video that they put out on instagram kind of shows that they already don't have much chemistry they did this whole like oh is this thing on let's let's show them anne let's show them this car and it says days of thunder 2 and it's coming in 2028 now what now what let's make the movie now what i'm gonna have this baby and then we're gonna make this that's a good idea you have the baby then we'll go make the movie we're coming out summer of 2028. don't be late are you sure you want to go with that i don't know i'm trying whatever happened you know who's not happy about this announcement is randy quaid and he wrote we need nicole back

Don't be a pussy, Tom Cruise. You need the original girl. It's not personal. It's filmmaking. Anne isn't sexy because, and if you haven't noticed, she's pregnant. So, well, that's true, that part. As a pregnant woman, you should understand. Of course I do.

He met Nicole Kidman, I think, shooting the first Days of Thunder. And then, of course, they had that romance. That contract marriage. Contract marriage, the whole thing. And now he's not. Just because it's his ex-wife. I mean, Randy Queen's saying, like, don't be a pussy. just have it be the original people.

I think it would be so cool if he... I mean, I think more people would watch it to see what their chemistry's like, but maybe she wouldn't want to do it. I think everyone would be so interested in what that would look like, sound like. Drive his race car into the movie theater and rescue her. She's been trapped in there for 20 years.

Please help me. Get her out of that AMC theater. This is where magic is made. Where I make my poops now. Cole Trickle, get in there and save her ass. All right, well, there you have it. Stuff happened in the world that you probably didn't know about,

or maybe you did, or maybe you don't care. It doesn't matter because we're getting into a brand new hour of the show in moments. And if you need us, phones are open right now. 800-520-1067. You can call, you can text, you can win, or you can just call and hang up on us. This is the world famous K-Rock. But if you do call to win, right now we have for you your tickets to Ocean Way, the inaugural festival happening this year with the Killers, Jack White, Sublime, and more.

The Beach, Santa Monica, September 26th. And we're looking for you right now. Caller 20 at 800-520-1067. Later this hour, another chance to win your way into the endless summer character with Austin's Slightly Stupid. And you'll be forced to answer some questions about things that have happened this morning on the show. Also, there's a goat line for you if you don't want to call live. You just want to leave messages afterwards. You don't want to be all shady like that.

You can use that goat line 24-7-365. That number is 844-956-GOAT. I want to start off by saying that Ally, Vanessa, you guys did a good job on Friday. You don't really need twine. And twine, now that you're back, I kind of realized how peaceful it is when you're not there, you know? I like it, you're funny, but I feel like you're the agitator of the group. So anytime you're there, you just try to get everyone mad, which I get, you know, but still peaceful. I really enjoyed it, you not being there.

Thank you, sir. So that's why I got this jingle for Ally and Vanessa. Here we go. That's a great jingle right there Add it to the system You know, it's funny that you say it's calm Omar is the agitator And Omar wasn't here on Friday either

There were two agitators that were not present Omar agitates more because he will Play the clips to make us look bad And then hold stuff against us Yeah, without him there for the weekend song We did live versions of every drop Oh, really? Yeah, which was actually a great, glorious train wreck.

And people were asking for us to do it again. That was the highlight for me because it was so funny. It was the end of the show. But please don't do it again because Vanessa has a panic attack almost every single time. She had smelling oils to try and keep her from having a complete breakdown during the show. Guys, I'm thinking of Betta Blockers. But Vanessa, you have your own jingle. Allie and Vanessa, it's better without clang.

It's a catchy ass song Well the next Friday I'm not here Which is not until This Friday Not until the end of October I will be doing the show I'm just going to have to be in a studio in New York Which sucks, but I will be doing it

So you guys don't have another panic attack And I don't want it, trust me If I had my way I'd move into this building and never leave Well I mean a lot of people just go This isn't the same, of course it's not the same It's never the same Believe me there were plenty of text messages that said quite the opposite hey uh amaya yes uh-huh from pasadena is this you

yes yeah that's me hi uh my name is over there you are the 20th caller so good luck good news thank you so much you just made my day you're gonna go to ocean way see some killers and some sublime and many others jack white will be there it's gonna be a great time santa monica first time they've ever done it you will be in the first official crowd at that festival so hang tight all All right? Okay. Thank you so much. Thank you.

Klein, aren't you going to agitate her? This bitch. Oh, okay, both of you. That wasn't me. Sorry, I don't feel that way about you, Amaya. I'm sorry that Vanessa said that. Not me. No, that didn't mean that.

Do I still have to say this? She was happy up until that last possible second, and then it all changed. I'm glad we're all back. All right, we give you the gift of living forever. Eternal Life will be yours if you just listen for another three minutes because we have a brand-new Old People's Secret, and it will help keep you alive, at least for today. We'll do it next.

K-Rock, Klein Alley Show. Let's get into an Old People's Secret so that you can live at least through the day. But perhaps, I don't know, you're one of these people like 125 years old, and you're going, what's your secret? And you go, well, I listen to the stupid radio show, and they told me to do the following things. I did those things, and now I'm here still living. I feel like when you get past 80, you're like, all right, I got long enough.

If I die at 80, at least I made it to 80. It's weird because Dolly was 80, and then what's-his-face was 82, right? The next guy that won, Tim Curry, was 80. They both went 80, 80, like that. And I think that the expectancy, life expectancy, has been going down a little bit. And it was always high 70s. I think it's 75 for men and 77 for women. Is that right?

I thought women were getting up to 79. But then, you know, you do meet enough people that seem like they're together and they have it. And you got to assume that all of the other things that happen in life, car accidents, unexpected stuff, that brings down the average life expectancy. If you're just talking about regular living, no crazy stuff happens, you don't fall into an elevator shaft. I would think our bodies at least should be able to make us last till around 100. Well, didn't they say there are some, you know, the people who are born now, technically their bodies can, nothing goes wrong. right we have enough juice in us to get us to 150 if we don't screw it up the uh u.s life expectancy is uh 81.4 for females and 76.5 for males whoa it's 81 for women women are getting that much

more they're still lying about their age too so we're all killing our husbands it's probably what it is it's time for a brand new old people secret so you can live forever listen closely From chicken brain to drinking rain, not getting laid, they call me the barmaid. They call me the barmaid. That's right. Let's live forever with sweet dibbits. A sweet dibbit. Time for some old people secrets.

Not every day we get a man. In this particular case, we got ourselves a man, a 106-year-old man, by the way, who's going to give you a secret. Listen closely. June, July 4th, 1922. I think he's, I don't know if you can tell what he's saying right now. I don't know why it sounds so bad, but I think he's whistling through his remaining teeth. But I think he talks about his birthday was July 4th of 1622 or something.

Listen. June, July 4th, 1922. 1922. Okay. So he's made it through the 4th of July. Was that the first one? That was the first one. This is Francis Scott Key here.

104 today. He's 104. So this guy celebrated his 104th birthday on the 4th of July, so of course the news has to immediately trample down his door and ask him. They celebrated by giving him a microphone from that year. This was the first microphone. Hammond says he has more life to live, continuing the legacy which has lasted over a century.

I'm going to celebrate two more years. I've always said I'm going to shoot for 106. that's when he's going to tap out that's it that's all we got I'm blowing myself up on my birthday he wants to be like a firework 106 is his goal and he's 104 now

so he's two years away from his goal and I don't know when he made that goal but I guess you just got to keep on keep adding numbers right because if you hit 106 then you're like I guess I have no reason left to live so you just got to say to yourself you just got to make it through this he's tapping out at 106 I've always said I'm going to shoot for 106.

Oh, there's some... But so far, I think I'm going to make it. There's a real clicking noise going on over there. I'm going to take the under on that because he says... I feel like a lot of the old people just say, I'm just grateful to live this long. If you have a goal or you say a certain number, I feel like you're setting yourself up for failure.

Or perhaps that may be one of those secrets where he doesn't realize that's the secret, but you've got to always have that thing to look forward to. We've talked about this in life. Right, you have a purpose. Things sound bad now or they feel bad now. You just got to find the thing that you're excited about or plan something that's like six months down the road.

Just got to make it to bingo on Thursday. Right, just get something else. I'm excited about that. That's the thing I want to be excited about. And then you have that kind of guiding light to get you there. Hammond was in Germany until the war ended, but did not make it home right away. We don't know what side he was on.

They didn't tell us, so... It's not important anymore. It's in the past. There's that to think about, but he didn't make it home. The 4th of July in Germany is so irrelevant. There's hundreds of thousands of soldiers scattered through Germany and France. Not enough boats to bring us home. So he had to spend some time there.

And now we're about to find out why he believes he is alive at the age of 104. If you ask Edwin Hammond's daughters, they'll say the key to a long life is having a purpose to get up every day. But if you ask Hammond... Why would we ask the daughters? Who cares about them? Who cares? They're in their... Are they 70s? 80s, I think. But regardless, it doesn't matter. What's his secret? That's the question.

He's going to give it to us in a moment. He's 104. A shotgun and a smile. A shotgun and a smile. Ali says, Omar Khan, what's this man's secret? He's going to say you need goals. You've got to have goals in life. You've got to have goals. Get them goals. Jake the Nerd.

Hot dog and hamburgers. Hot dogs and hamburgers. Fourth of your life. Foods. That's whatever he could see. Giving us the usual suspects trick right there. He's looking around saying stuff.

Kai from Frozen? Shoe dog grass lamp. Monster. All right. That's a good guess. Vanessa,

what's your name? What is his secret? Spending time with family. Family. You said that one a lot. That's your go-to. I feel like every other

guess is that one for Vanessa. Is it? Yeah. Remember my which one? I'm going to ask Omar. You're getting senile, my friend. I'm going to ask Omar to answer for you.

Vanessa, Omar, what is Vanessa's guess for his secret for a long life? Wishy potions. Cooking some wishy potions. All right, that's a good guess right there. Let's find out if she's right. What is it he says wishy potions? I will die. Happily.

This is what he says. Stop smoking. Keep those exercises good for you. Sometimes a little fireball don't hurt. Fireball? Fireball? What? He's got some shots of fireball.

Man. Is he talking about actual fireballs, or he's talking about the whiskey? Yeah, he was in the war. Yeah. Is he like a flamethrower? I think he's talking about actual napalm fireball. No, I think he's talking about actual shots of fireball. Huh.

That guy is cool, man. I feel like everyone had a fireball phase. Yeah. I don't feel like that's a consistent drink. It's like a freshman year of college phase. Yeah, that's not like, hey, I'm 104. Let's enjoy some Fireball. In and out of it quickly.

But that guy's still in it. So there you have it. Old people's secrets live forever. Quick break. Come back in a moment. A little more show to get into. And then if you've been paying attention today, and hopefully you have some notes, we will get you into the endless summer kegger one final time today.

And then we're getting closer and closer to the actual clam slam on the beach. So be ready to win your way in after this. You know when they say you're addicted to something officially when it interferes with your life and even though you know it's going to have a negative consequence on your life, you don't stop doing it? Even if you know going into it, this is going to impact me badly. It's going to affect my relationships, my lifestyle. It's going to make it so I can't be at a place I need to be at on time, but I'm going to do it anyway. You're making sacrifices. I believe that I have now officially entered that status of my relationship with In-N-Out, but primarily the one at LAX where you get to watch the planes land and take off.

Such a specific addiction. Well, the problem is that yesterday after the show, my dad was in town, and I decided to take him to the airport, and he did not have a lot of time. He came, watched the last hour of the show. We got to meet Roger again. Right. Last time I saw him was in Vegas. Ricky in the building went up to him and said, Hey, where's your Nirvana shirt?

And my dad was very embarrassed. Confused and embarrassed by the whole thing. But props to your dad for showing up and staying in L.A. for, what was it, three or four days, and all he brought with him to pack was a briefcase. He carries a briefcase like he's a traveling salesman. I don't know how he fit three or four days' worth of stuff into a small briefcase. It's incredible. It's wild that he's still rocking the briefcase.

I feel like that is a dated, dated, dated piece of whatever. I mean, I remember growing up, he'd put a briefcase. So what a stupid thing. Old man briefcases, though. They belong together. And I feel like hipsters are trying to bring them back. I feel like you probably see them in Silver Lake or something. But for the most part, yeah, the guy came out here, no luggage, just a briefcase.

And then he showed up at the studio with a collared shirt on and a briefcase. But for sure, everyone in the building thought he was here to do our taxes. That's what I thought. I was like, ah, this guy. Oh, it's my dad. Okay. So afterwards, we only have an hour to get from the station to he's got a flight to catch just after noon at LAX.

And I decide because by the time we got down closer to LAX, it was 1140. And I said, you know what? I think we have enough time to do In-N-Out by the airport. And his flight was just after noon and you got there at 1140? Boarding at noon, I think leaving at 1230. But they closed the, you know, the way, you can't even tell anymore because they closed the doors 15 minutes early. And you thought that there was time for In-N-Out?

Well, the line for the drive-thru is long, like it always is, but I said, don't worry, I have a plan, and the plan was parking and going in. Nope. And I think I've realized now, no matter which In-N-Out— It's the same amount of time. I think it's quicker at the drive—I think they have more people dedicated to the drive-thru. And I think that the drive-through, and I know there's people that have tried to test this theory, but I do feel like the drive-through seems like it moves faster.

Oh, I think they're the same. I think the time moves more. You think they're the same? I think they're the same, but I think the time moves differently when you're sitting in your car versus sitting on that little bench. But let me ask you a question. If the time moves the same. I got in yesterday, and they said to me, my number was 98.

Or 96, 96. My number was 96. They called out, so they give me my order, they go, you're number 96, I go, cool, and then they go, and I didn't know where they were, so I'm waiting for the next call, they go, all right, number seven. Oh, no. So then I started realizing, I do math. Sometimes they skip ahead, though.

Yeah, sometimes they're like, one register is, you know, on this number, and the other register is, you know, way ahead. Right. This was not the case, because I was hearing them go seven, then they go eight, occasionally they jumped to ten, then back to nine, whatever, but I was looking at it going, there's no way there'd be 90 or 80 people in front of me at the drive-thru right now the drive-thru was busy but it's maybe 20 cars 25 cars i just think it's so risky to think you have time for that when it's so unpredictable it could be 10 minutes you could be there 30 minutes so uh i said to him don't

worry i know he goes he goes i think i'm gonna i think i'm not gonna make the flight and i said you'll be fine cold cheese yeah i did do my order oh my god you did all your customizations that's what takes forever cold cheese takes less time it's cold yeah but they have to toast the bun extra and all your other weird things the well-done fries is what kind of screwed me i think so 10 minutes were waiting did you and this was his first time right first time and he was pretty excited about the whole in and out thing and i said did you tell him to do the same thing you're doing i he yeah i said to him i said i'm gonna order for you he goes big mistake dude you gotta just let him enjoy the og way well that's what he was gonna do and i talked him out of it and

then i said no no no this will take longer we'll have him do two i said don't worry i got it i got I'm going to order for you. And I ordered him. I got him a milkshake. Got him the, we do fries well done, cheese fries, the pickles, grilled onions, whole, the whole thing. Cold cheese. He goes, cold cheese.

Not in my house. Yeah, he called me the F word. You know, a little gay kid. I go, no, Dad, it's cold cheese. And 10 minutes turns into 20 minutes. And then he says to me, we need to leave now. Yeah, because people get nervous. And he's not a fast walker.

Not a fast walker. That parking lot is a bunch to maneuver. He didn't even have, and this is the sad part about having older parents, he didn't even have his ticket on his phone. My mom took a picture of his ticket from her computer screen at home and then texted him the picture of his ticket on the computer screen of his phone, which all you saw was the glare of the computer and my mom's face trying to do it. You could hardly see the bark. I said, there's no way this ticket is a scannable ticket. Yeah, the boomers don't know what to do in a paperless world. So, they're calling out number 84, and he's like, we got to go.

I'm like, Dad, 84, we're 96. It's any moment now. He goes, it's 1155. Yeah. I want to be there. I got to go through security, the whole thing. And is this a situation where the next flight is not for many hours? Next flight's not even an option.

He doesn't want to be next flight. This is flight. He's going to get on this flight. So I say, all right, and I start slowly walking out. We get to the car, and then I hear on the loud, and I'm so mad now. Now I'm mad because now I paid for In-N-Out. I'm excited for In-N-Out. And you're just walking away.

And we're about to leave with no In-N-Out. And my plan was drop them off at the airport and come back and grab my order. And eat a stew. So I was okay either way. But as we're about to get into the car, I hear them go, 96. And I'm like, I got to go get it. So I run in, got the food, brought it out to the car, and I said, Let's just eat this as we drive to the next five minutes to LAX.

Wow, you thought you were going to be able to sit there and eat it, too? Yeah, I had it in the red container. Your time management is something else. So he goes, maybe I'll just wrap it up and bring it on the plane. I said, no, it's not going to be as good. You've got to have it fresh. So he picks it up. He takes a bite of it.

And all of the juice and cheese, even though it's cold cheese, and some of the animal style, falls into his lap. His shirt, his lap, it is a complete mess. And I go, oh, man, this is. You can't eat it like that. You're like, my whole dad's animal style now. So he's like, now he's like covered in the in and out. And I go, hey, look, that's a badge on him, my friend.

Like that lets people know you were. You're trying to convince him all this is good. Did he have some sort of like dad saying or something? Oh, bull feathers. Something like that. Oh, that's right. He's a bull feathers guy. Bull feathers guy.

And he's like, and I said, don't worry. I said, I've got a hoodie in the back of my car. I'll give you a hoodie I had like a almost acoustic Christmas hoodie in my trunk I was like we get there I'll give you a hoodie

you wear that instead cover up your mess he goes I'm not wearing no hoodie I'd rather it look like a slobbering mess so he but he said the internet

was delicious he said it was great did he say it was worth it he said it was worth it I saw him he walked off he covered it in and out all over his lap and shirt

I took a picture of it it's hilarious and he was sipping his milkshake and he walked off and he said he made it he couldn't take that for TSA either he had to throw it

right in the garbage he was the last they probably didn't to come chuck it. He was the last person to make it through before they closed the doors. Oh my God.

Big Ben made the flight and he said that the person next to him commented that he smelled like In-N-Out. I was going to say that that smell does not go away. That's the worst part. Yeah, if that spills on you,

you smell like it. Yeah, that's a great flight but also a terrible flight because if you're smelling In-N-Out, it's a great smell but also you don't get to eat it. You don't get to eat it which is terrible.

Anyway, that was the first and last In-N-Out experience. We've got your tickets if you'd like to join us at the Endless Summer Kega right now. able to answer some questions about today's show and these will not be easy so it'll prove that

you've been paying attention all morning the number to call is 800-520-1067 we'll see who is the first person that can get three in a row right next on k-rock all right you put in a lot of time this morning listening to the show and yes it was free but was it worth it that is the question it will be worth it right now if we pick you up and you're able to answer some questions right it's a klein alley show quiz the prize up for grabs access to the endless summer kegger This time was slightly stupid. Last year, it was an endless summer barbecue we did here at K-Rock. That was with Royal Otis.

So we decided let's keep the party going. Endless Summer Kegger, also known as the Clam Slam. And the only way to get in is to win your way in. People started to get desperate because the show's on Thursday. And we've got lots of other stuff. The band, that's enough to get you there. But then we've got all these other yard games. I think we're going over the whole meeting today after the show about it.

About the cornhole, the mean cornhole. There's a lot of things happening there. including Babe the Nerd where you'll have a chance to try to dunk Jake into a soapy bath I don't want a bath it's going to be great for everyone Jake doesn't like swimming because it's for kids

but he's going to be forced to do it Jake you're going to do the dunk tank though right I thought that's the same thing yeah yeah it is but you're not refusing it I didn't know I had a choice yeah we didn't ask alright that was your choice

and now it's over It's time now for the Klein Alley Show Quiz. Here we go. The Klein Alley Show Quiz. That's funny. Tee-tee, caca. I don't have fleas. I have ants.

Chris Greger likes Walmart. You never call. Ozzy. I'm with you, Hitler. Bitch, I call. Voila. All right. Full phones.

All people that claim they've been listening all morning. Some taking notes. Others just going to try to wing it. Start with Kyle. And if Kyle's not successful in going three in a row, we will make our way up and down these phones until Chris, Camilla, Jill, Stephanie, Mike, Roman, everyone gets shot to win their way in. So it could

go three, four people deep. We start with you, Kyle, though, so you control your own destiny at this point. Good morning. Good morning, 3Divots. How long have you been listening today? Since about 6.30, 7 this morning. Did you take any notes or you just got that you're going to try to trust your memory on this?

I'm just going to trust my memory. I had Odyssey 1 for a little bit, but then I switched over to the tablet to YouTube Live. Ah, okay, so you were listening and watching. What a journey. All right, question number one. There was a threesome that took place on the airwaves of K-Rock today.

Who was involved in the threesome that took place over the airwaves of K-Rock and on YouTube? What was it? Allie and her sister. What? Oh, man. I'm so sorry. That is incorrect, Kyle. I wish.

I can't get my sister. Allie and her sister. Allie wishes. That is an incorrect answer. We pick up with that question as we make our way to Chris right now. And then we'll make our way to Stephanie next and Jill and everyone will have a chance. But just to show you, don't hang up because people sometimes have a hard time. Chris, we start with you.

There was a threesome that took place on the show today. Who was involved in the threesome? It was the doll with the Klein and Allie doll, Eiffel Towering Vanessa's chicken doll. So that is a correct answer. Thank you for that graphic description. Alfie Tower. That's right. She got the Alfie Tower.

And Allie is re-demonstrating now. Vanessa loves it. Vanessa wants us to do more of that. So very excited about these new plushies. If you haven't seen them yet, go to our Instagram, Klein Allie Show. Sums it up right there. That's Vanessa afterwards. So it's Vanessa and Klein and Allie.

And you are off to a great start. You got your first one right. Congratulations. Two more in a row, and you're going to the show. You ready? I hope they don't make a Jake one. You don't want to have a tower of me? It's going to get added to the mix.

Chris, question number two. We made a decision on the air today of who is going to introduce Slightly Stupid at the Endless Summer Kegger. Who is going to do that introduction? I don't know her name, but it was the stutterer lady. She was just stuttering on the call. I don't know her name, though. Stuttering lady will be an acceptable answer if that's right. Let's find out if that's right.

Slightly stupid. That is a correct answer. The stuttering lady, and I believe her name was... Marie. Marie. No, stutter lady. And it's slightly stupid. No, it's Marie.

Your name's Marie. Marie. Do you know where you are, Marie? Chris, that is correct. You've gotten two in a row right now. They have just started. They're now moving our endless summer keg to start at noon to make accommodations

for the announcement for start of the school year. Still ends at eight. They're stepping in. They're stepping out. They're going to be in. They're stepping out. They're in. The band is going to be a great intro.

Start the introduction now. All right. You've gotten two right, Chris. Do you know what this means? Yep. One more. It all comes down to this. If you're wrong, we move on.

So people are rooting against you. But you claim that you've been paying attention. You took notes and everything, or you're just all doing this on memory? No, just memory. Wow. Question number three. Question three. Three, here we go.

Allie crapped her pants on today's show. What? At what hour? The first hour? That didn't happen. That didn't happen. That's a trick question. I was like, is this my mommy brain?

Did this happen? The fact that you couldn't deny that quickly is a real problem. I'm like, all right. I don't know what's coming out of where. Allie just looked. Allie just looked. Allie just checked herself in the middle of that question. This is the third question.

If it's right, you win. What is Jake going to bring to his date tonight? Well, he said flowers, maybe, but I think it was just a beer, a chest of beer. Well, that's interesting. You've given us two answers. A chest of beer. What a beautiful way to describe it. We all accused Jake of probably showing up with his own chest of beer.

But he did claim that he is going to, per the advice of Vanessa, bring flowers. And that is a correct answer, which means, Chris, you've been listening to the entire show today, or at least the parts that mattered most. And you did it raw dog style. Nice job. You will see you on Thursday at the Endless Summer Kegler. You can bring someone, no lamos, and a pleasure to meet you. We can't wait to see you in person on Thursday. All right?

Thank you. Shout out, NetBangers. All right. For everyone watching along on YouTube, shout out. And I had this song queued up in case you lost. It's called Loser from Tame Impala. But you won, so we're going to play it anyway, and then we'll come back and do takeaways from today's show

and wrap up everything else, turn it over to Sluggo next on KROQ. Thank you, Tame Impala. That's called Loser. It's KROQ. We're Klein Alley Show. We're going to get the hell out of here. Sluggo's in in a moment. Got more of those tickets for you.

Every hour, cool you off by sending you to the best festivals happening on the beach here in Southern California. So all day, you'll win your way into Ohana Fest and Ocean Way. Be ready for that. Tomorrow, we're back with more stuff to give you. So I'm sure we still have more access to the Endless Summer Kegger. We held on to a grip of tickets until the last possible moment. So we're here, but don't feel bummed out just yet.

I know there's a lot of desperation calls on the GOAT line. We're going to get as many of you in as possible so we can all hang out together. And that'll be on Thursday this week. All right. I'll be up Thursday. Are we going to have breakfast together for dinner? If by breakfast, you mean Wahoo's tacos. That's right.

That's well planned on our part. Let's do some takeaways from today's show, and then we'll get out of here. What do we got? All right. 424, my takeaway is no means gnocchi. No means gnocchi. Man, I stuttered there. 818, never interrupt the noodling.

Let's see. 213, my takeaway is Slightly Stupid's intro may be longer than they're set. 909, you can always get free parking if you park far enough. 626, Jake is corking it. 925, this chair all night long. All night. And 661, my takeaway is damn, Vanessa, you nasty girl. That was wild

That was wild See this crazy thing Crazy stuff You still listening mom? I know real I know real Vanessa Is like Placed by the rules

But doll Vanessa That's all the things Real Vanessa wound Fire state Takeaways From today's show We go over to Oh no

Her ass is out Oh boy Post Oh no Postmaster Oh my god Hey nice ass Postmaster Johnny

You have a takeaway From today's show Nice Nice ass. It always comes back to ass. How is it always about ass? That's right. You said it, Johnny.

There's a lot of ass going on right now. What's your takeaway, buddy? I just said it like five times. Oh, I thought that was Homer playing a clip of you. All right, Vanessa, you have a takeaway? Yeah. Jake's getting cemetery flowers. Jake's getting cemetery flowers.

Jake's getting cemetery flowers. Jake, takeaway? Yeah. A briefcase is an example of a piece of whatever. Yeah, sure is. Big piece of whatever. Allie, takeaway? My takeaway is if you're going to break the rules at a Best Western, do it in Whitefish, Montana.

It's the best place to be banned. We learned that during a round of human bingo. If you don't know what we're talking about, there's a complete show. You can download it wherever you get your podcasts. Please subscribe and even share it with someone so they can help us to hashtag grow the show. Omar? I'm going to get your dad to do my taxes. That's why he's here.

Walk in the halls. We'll do it tomorrow. Try to do it better. If you need us in the meantime, you can use the coatline. 844-956-GOAT. Oh, my God. What is she doing now? Whoa, Vanessa.

That's Vanessa Doll. It's getting wild. Take a quick break, and then we're back again tomorrow. Stick around for Slugger. All right, goodbye. All right, this episode of Klein Alley Show, the podcast has come to an end. But if you haven't heard the big news, we are now on YouTube. That's right.

Mr. Beast and us, the two most important things on YouTube. We're YouTube sluts now, and we're proud of it. You can watch the show. We recommend you do. In fact, it makes us look good to the bosses and the people who make decisions around here. So please, even if you don't want to see what we look like, and I don't blame you, if you could, go to KROQ's YouTube, subscribe, maybe even leave a comment or two under some of our videos, and you can watch us live every single morning on YouTube and watch the show after the fact when they upload it as a real big afterthought.

And, of course, you can always follow us on Instagram at Klein Alley Show and listen to the live show on the radio at KROQ 106.7 on the Odyssey app or probably a better app. God, what have you done?