Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - Hall Passes & Ass Water (FULL SHOW 7/15)

Episode Date: July 15, 2026

The $12 cup of Erewhon 'Sacred Water' was in-studio today for a taste test. Since she has heightened senses from pregnancy, Ally was the one to test various cups of water, including one from the bathroom toilet, to see if she could identify the Sacred Water correctly. Klein and Ally both had serious conversations with their wives about hall passes: would they allow them? Who would they be? Both conversations went very differently, and now our number one priority is booking Steve Buscemi on the show. Jake is on the rebound and back on the dating apps, but needs massive help with his dating profile. We broke it down today, pic by pic, and Vaness managed to shoot down each and every photo he had on his profile. It was determined that we must burn the foundation to the ground and completely start over. Can Vanessa and Ally turn Jake into an eligible bachelor? We also heard a new heated argument in Petty Claims Court where a guy accused his sister of constantly posting ugly photos of him online without his consent.

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. This is the world famous K-Rock. Oh yeah, good morning. Klein Alley Show. Nice to see you. Nice to meet you. Thanks for coming back for more.

It's going to be a hot one today. We showed up this morning and the AC was broken at work. Seems to always be the way when it's the hottest day of the year. Well, I think the building manager is retiring today, so I think he's out. He's done. Great. Seems like a good time for that guy to step down. I was one of the guys you brought in here to test my knowledge of names. You've been working here 35 years. Happy final day to the great whatever his face was. There's a retirement party for him today.

Do you want to go and say a little something about his legacy? I was not asked to speak at it. Oh, yeah, you are. Right now, I'm asking you to speak at it. That's not, it would not be appropriate, I don't think. I think someone who knows him better should speak at his party. But anyway, congratulations. Does anyone know him better than you?

That's his name, Kevin G. Don't know what the G stands for. No one does, but regardless. Will you be attending just for, you know, to see him off? I have a thing I have to do after the show. Could he move the retirement party to earlier, or is that possible? To exactly 11 a.m. to 11.10. There's going to be tacos there, though.

I know. Does that change your mind? I mean, the tacos are, that does make me want to stay for the retirement party, But, listen, who is going to the retirement party? Is anyone going? Me, I am. That's my boy. You're going for the tacos, though, Johnny.

No, Kevin Graham is actually one of my closest friends. Oh, Graham, I knew that. Oh, sorry, damn it. He's one of your closest friends? Yeah, he's the homie, man. He's like 80, dude. He's not 80. He's only like 60.

No, you're wrong. I'm dead ass. He's only like 60, 63 tops. Black don't crack, Johnny. Black don't crack. Yeah, he's 60. Why would you retire at 60? Because he can.

He's a G like that. He set up his funds really well, and now he gets to go retire and play tennis and go metal detect on the beach all day long. Oh, that's right. He's a beach metal detector guy, which is crazy because I always have wanted to talk to these beach metal detector guys. He's definitely 100, then. And ask, right, if they've ever found anything to make it worth it because usually it's like every day, beep, beep, beep, up. It's another part of a soda can. I think he does it every weekend.

I think he found a gold ring once, right? Yeah, he just found a ring. That's like the craziest thing he's found, though. Well, anyway, that guy's decided that there's a more lucrative future in looking for stuff on the beach than working in radio. So he's out and we wish him nothing but the best and happy final day working here. Please, if you can fix the AC today of all days for the love of Christ that is hot in here. Allie and I may go topless for the remainder of the show. Or maybe it's like I'm going to stick it to him and boil him all alive on the way out.

That's a great FU. It is. Maybe he's the only one who knows where the controls are. Not my problem, bitches. I'm out. Yeah. We've got lots to get to today. Someone in here will be taste testing the very expensive cup of water from Erewhon that we have.

We all pooled our money together to buy one cup of this water, and someone's going to go ahead and try to figure out if they can tell the difference between that and good old-fashioned K-Rock tap water. So that will be coming up a little bit later today on the show as well. And hall passes are all the rage these days, celebrity hall passes. It's actually the inspiration for a new movie that's coming up. So Allie and I had conversations with our wives to figure out if we would be able to get hall passes, And I don't know how your conversation went.

I know we'll listen to the audio a little bit later. Mine was very surprising. Mine went pretty much according to plan. She got very mad. I'm currently in a fight. So thanks again, this show, making my personal life way worse. You're in a fight, and I've got a list. Oh, man.

We'll get into all that coming up a little bit later this morning. Right now, though, let's go ahead and kick things off with, I didn't see this coming, did you? All right, fun alley show. We've got lots to get into. If you want to go to see Evanescence at the Kia Forum on Saturday, we'll get you into that show a little bit later. And then, of course, your Disneyland tickets. Shouldn't have buried the lead there.

Four packs of tickets coming up in less than two hours. And then all day long here at KROQ. As you know, the heat is the big story. Perhaps the only thing that could possibly take headlines away from all World Cup action is what is happening in Southern California for the next few days. It's going to be very hot. There was a woman last night. This video is wild because she's reporting on how hot it is even at nighttime. She's standing in Sherman Oaks doing a live report saying it's still 85 degrees and it's going to get hotter or something like that.

Is she hot? She's also hot because they have to do that. I mean, that's what they do on purpose, right? And in the middle of her report, she has a cockroach crawling across her body. Whoa! Now, most people, especially, I mean, I'm going to say most people, and there's been some viral videos over the years of news people doing live reports. and all of a sudden bugs fly in their mouths or crawl up them, and they usually completely freak out.

This woman should win whatever award, the Newsies or whatever award they get, because she was able to— It was crawling across her chest, too, right? A giant cockroach crawling across her cleavage. It was like a cleavage. It almost seems planted. Well, the video, I'm sure, is getting a ton of views now because the fact that she—I'm going to play her report,

but she doesn't—you can tell she kind of speeds through it Because at the end, I think she realizes what's happening. So she does a quick kind of, all right, now back to you in the studio. Doesn't do that, like, you know, you would think people would do in that situation. Which you would do. Of course. Who wouldn't? Who wouldn't?

It's socially acceptable. Cockroach? Cockroaches are universally hated by everyone. Everybody. They are the most hate. They are the most disgusting insects on the planet. The way they move. The way they don't die.

The way you instantly feel just gross. Like you come across one in your place. And we all have them in our place, I'm sure. And they're slow and really, really fast. Yeah, right. You come across one and you just go, I got to get out of here. It's my living filth.

And this woman, she held it together. And it's a lot more comfortable at this hour, but we're still in the 80s here in the valley. So overnight temperature is not necessarily dropping and this leads to less recovery. So I can hear right here. This is where she, I think, realizes. Do you think she really knows, though?

Oh, she knows. Because I don't see her look down in the video. You can hear it in the voice. I think she knows there's something on her. I don't think she realizes it's cockroach. If she knew that and was still able to keep it together... Then you're done. Done with the report.

Done, done. If you hear her wrap it up quickly, we'll put the video up on our Instagram, the Klein Alley Show, you can check it out. But it is... I mean, this thing is massive. It's one of the biggest cockroaches I've seen. Dropping, and this leads to less recovery time

from the daytime heat. We're live in Sherman Oaks. I'm Rachel Manitow. I'll send it back to you in the studio. Now, at this point, she's wrapping up quick and definitely earlier than she's supposed to. Now, they do keep the camera rolling on her, and then you can see her try to shake the bug off her.

Rachel, thank you, and it's... the cameraman's laughing at her yeah i think so yeah because i mean it is but i'll tell you that's professionalism right also how does it get that high up on her it's unbelievable like did it crawl that far from the ground or did it drop from a tree like how did that roach was like i gotta get on that i think it's one of them flying cockroaches which yeah that's what they said but but i but i believe in general like cockroaches don't like people they try to avoid us usually that's the seems like they love people it seems like they are wherever we are they like our stuff but i don't think they like us that's the that's the one benefit at least i always tell

myself is yeah sure there's some cockroaches that whenever i don't even care about anything whenever i go deep like looking for one of the good snacks that i hide in my kitchen so i tried it for myself so i'm not a big fat pig every day and i like hide stuff in top top shelves whenever i'm like today i'm gonna go be a big fat pig and i go to the top shelf there's always some I'm like, scurry thing. And then I go, ah, like that. I can't keep it cool like she was. It's incredible.

If there was a cockroach on your cleave, that would be a great video. Well, anyway, you got to see this because I'll tell you, once again, finest reporter. I know that there's reporters that have been in war zones before and they get awards for that. Just give this woman some sort of an award. Here's the audio of the cameraman afterwards. How did you not move? I bumped that audio. How did you not move?

How did you not move? How did you not move? Man, he's freaking out. And that thing was on her cleave. I feel like he should have thrown the camera and run. Oh, man. Next time we find a cockroach, I'll put it on you. We have them here in the building.

You know, this is the home of Papa Roach and Lionel Roachie. Especially with the AC out, I feel like it's a good day for them, active. We've named a few of the ones, and they'll definitely be coming out here. This place has got tons of cockroaches. No, thanks. It's probably one by you, Allie, right now. No, no, no, we're not doing it. If you find one today, we will see if it will sit longer on Allie's cleave or my cleave.

That'll jump right off my cleave. Yeah, I don't blame it either. I wonder how long it would take for it to do a lap around your neck. Oh, days. Days. We'll come back in a second. I like things that kills it. If you want Allie's money, you can call now and claim it.

800-520-1067. We've got the $100 with your name on it. All you've got to do is answer some questions about the news. We'll come back and do that after this. Hey, Rock. We are Clown Allie's Show. Bit of a hype song for you to get you ready for a little round of Allie Knows the News and victory. It's all about the victory these days.

Oh, I just wanted to chime in. Let's go Spain. I hope they win today. That's all I got for a few puddings. Let's go. That guy should be in a better mood today than he was when he left that message yesterday at this exact time. Congratulations to all fans of Spain. And I think that some people whose country is out, a lot of people have shifted now.

You've got to find something to root for. Yeah, you've got to pick. You've got to find some loyalty. I know Vanessa, who was a diehard Columbia, is now... She's now a Spaniard. She's now decided to just go all España, and I think she's trying to fool people into thinking that she's Spanish. She wants to feel like they've got something to root for. Yeah, I mean, it's like watching the Super Bowl.

At the end, you're like, who do I care? It's usually who do I like, who do I hate the least, and that's what it comes down to. And so then I start thinking about, of all the countries that are remaining, have any of them done me wrong? Well, and then I was like, you know, today is Argentina and England, and I was like, well, you know, Argentina's got messy. But then I found out they won last time. Of course. And I'm like, all right, well, then now I'm not as... It's been like 60 years for England, I think.

Yeah, for England it's been since 66. They're like the, you know, the patriots of the NFL a few years back or the, you know, more recently the Chiefs or something. So now I'm like, whatever, F that guy. So then you start thinking, yeah, it's been a while for England, but once again, we hated England, which is why we had to start our own country. So now I feel like I've got bones there. I lived in Spain for a bit, so I feel like I have some feeling towards Spain. But the reality is at the end of it all, I just realized I just don't care. Yeah, I know.

And that's what I've come down to. And that's what you always come back to. That's why all I do is root for you guys to beat Allie and take her money every morning around this time. And right now, I'll be rooting for Eric in Arancho Cucamonga. Good morning, Eric. Good morning, Allie Klein. Five questions about things in the news. Allie will leave the K-Rock Studios, which means she'll probably get to experience some sweet air conditioning out in the halls because there's a boiler in here.

And we suffer for your amusement. So, Allie's out. Your round will officially begin. And here we go. Allie knows the news. This is the first question. And you should get it easy because it's a Rancho Cucamonga question where you're calling from. An elderly couple in Rancho Cucamonga is being terrorized by what that is currently living under their home?

Let's call it raccoons. Raccoons. It's a big story. You should know this. It's happening right in your neighborhood. We've got a question number two. The house has passed a bill to make what a permanent thing? What is potentially going to become permanent now based on a bill that was just passed by the house?

Ah, that's right. That's a fight that they were on for a while. And finally, finally, maybe there's going to be a change. If you're annoyed about changing your clocks around, you go to question number three. Cyclosporosis, a.k.a. exploding ass, has been linked to what fast food restaurant? i mean several but uh let's call it chipotle chipotle we got a question number four now

uh what do a lighthouse a pickle a butterfly and a cracked smiley face all have in common and when i ask you the question understand it is something newsworthy wow um i have no idea so i'll just plug sweet james go ahead he'll appreciate that sweet james my man and finally question number five this rocker who is currently on the cover of men's health explains why he chooses to work out in leather pants leather pants uh lenny kravitz all right you did decent and i think you did enough to probably take ali's money but we'll find out in a moment when we send her back in here uh here she comes she is pregnant getting more pregnant by the day if you are just joining us ali went through many rounds of ivf etc etc

and now here she is eating for three yeah question number one ali an elderly couple in rancho cucamonga being terrorized by what it is currently living under their home oh i think it's a coyote all right he said raccoons it's not just a coyote it's a pack oh it's a whole den oh it's a whole pack of coyotes living under there i still give you the point because coyote i will accept but uh they say that uh living there has become almost impossible now because they are they can't even leave they're afraid they're gonna get eaten i think they need coyote that's what they gotta yell but i think at some point especially if there's more than three that's their house now that's theirs we go to question number two alley's up one nothing uh the house

has passed a bill to make what permanent? Oh, I think daylight saving time. Alright, he got that as well. He's on the board. It is the correct answer now. I don't know what this means. It feels like this vote happens a lot and everyone says let's make it permanent, but it still doesn't mean it's permanent yet. It doesn't have to go to the Senate. There's more stuff that has

to happen. So Eric got that right. He's on the board with a point, which means that current score is 2-1. Allie in a slight lead as we go to question number three. Cyclos So, Soporiasis, a.k.a. Exploding Ass, has been linked to what fast food restaurant? I believe this was a Taco Bell situation.

All right. Because I know they've removed some items from their menu. So, he said Chipotle, but he was thinking close, but no cigar. It is Taco Bell that is now no longer going to be offering certain veggies at their restaurants. Good guess, though, for Chipotle, because they had a lot of outbreaks. They had some leaky ass issues as well years ago. Yes, they did. Which they fixed.

And we all came back. We all recovered, and then that place did great again, and we all lost a bunch of weight. I have diarrhea. That's right. You sure do. That's what the whole world is saying. So we've got a question number four now. Allie is up two.

Question four. What does a lighthouse, a pickle, a butterfly, and a cracked smiley face have in common? And when I ask the question, understand that it is newsworthy. A cracked smiley face? Cracked smiley face, lighthouse, pickle, and butterfly. New round of sex emojis? Okay. I don't know if you knew this, but July 17th, we are approaching World Emojies.

Day, and this is the new crop of emojis that will be coming soon to a phone near you. He did not get that one, and we go to this final question, and sorry, your round is looking like it's not going well. This rocker currently on the cover of Men's Health magazine claims that he likes to work out in leather pants.

Oh. Slash? That's an interesting guess. I guess you got that right. Eric, who said Lenny Kravitz. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. He's in good shape. All right, Eric, you've got a few right, but sadly, at the end when we add up all the numbers, Ali still beat you and what must you shamefully admit over the airwaves of K-Rock?

Go ahead. All right, my name's Derek, and Allie knows the news. That is a fact. In a moment, we will explain which one of us is about to conquer our funner summer list. And that will be coming up after Offspring on K-Rock. All right, we did make it our mission to make 2026 a funner summer. Oh, yeah.

Ripping the bong. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Summertime. Summertime. It's funner summer. Fun is at an all-time low. We've talked about reasons why over and over again. People are not having fun anymore.

Fun is too expensive. People just like to sit at home and scroll, et cetera, et cetera. So we decided let's turn things around. We promise if you tune into KROQ every morning, we will force you to have a funner summer like we're forcing each other. And on the list of things that we must do, we have been talking about certain things we must accomplish this summer. I know that next weekend I was going to do the Backyard Kegger,

but apparently that's the day that Allie's going camping with Vanessa. Vanessa's coming camping with us. We're going to go down to the San Diego area and do some tent camping. And Vanessa, you don't have to worry about bringing a thing. I have a tent for you. We have stuff to make coffee. We've got a little cooktop. We've got everything you need.

Is this your first camping experience, Vanessa? This is my second. The first one I camped in the car, so I don't feel like it counts. But I was at a campsite. Were you homeless? No, that was after she banged the chef in the car, probably. Oh, okay. Be quiet.

anyway that will be checked off so i will have helped vanessa achieve both of her fun or summer challenges which were getting drunk in a water park and going camping right well camping by the beach or the forest what kind of camping uh you know we're going with friends i don't even know i i think i don't think it's by the beach okay it's a little lesbian camping so it'll be deep it'll be rough oh yeah i'm gonna poop in a hole um i uh decided because i need to do an all-nighter and accomplish some other things on the list before I throw the backyard kegger for everyone, which I have to now move

because you guys can't do it on Friday. I had said next Friday was going to be the date. No one knew that you said that. Who did you say that to? I said earlier this summer because I said I have a small window where I don't have my kids this summer and I'm going to do...

Yeah, I thought you said the 18th is what I recall. Yeah, there's no way that you confirmed a date. I swear I gave a few possible Fridays. I knew I did. But whatever, we'll figure it out and we'll do the backyard. We have to do that. In fact, I just talked to the keg guy.

yesterday, the guy who's going to be giving us the keg. Nice. Oh, you're getting a hookup? I'm getting an ice luge. I'm doing a bunch of things. I've already been doing a lot of stuff behind the scenes. I'm so mad I can't drink. I just don't have the date yet. Oh, we're going to pour stuff that you can drink in there. Don't worry. But on this

Friday, because I need to pull an all-nighter, it's very hard for me to stay up all night, unless I'm in Vegas. But that's the one place I can stay up all night, no problem. Still. Because I think they pump the air into the casinos, and I got the gambling thing. You got the adrenaline there's so many reasons to stay and i've been hearing i've been starting to get the itch lately because you know you guys went you went recently for no doubt and then someone else

went recently for some i've been hearing a lot of and even though it's i know it's gonna be hot really hot in vegas north of 100 obviously because it's the summer i i finally pulled the trigger so i'm going to vegas on friday are you driving have not figured that part of it out yet um apparently i don't know if there's construction or something i used to think in my head it took three hours to to Vegas. I think that number is doubled now. Going back on Sunday sucks. I think it always could be three hours.

I know I did it one time, I feel like in three hours, so I always assume that's the number and that's a very, I can stomach that number easily. Three hour drive, nothing, no problem. But six hours, it starts to get real annoying. Yeah, and I think it's minimum four. Yeah, especially from where you are. Yeah, especially from where

you're at. But do you have a plan? Are you just going to be gambling online? Are you going to see a show? What are you going to do? I'm not going to see a show, Allie. Clue Man Group, man. You got to see a magic show. I'm not seeing a stupid show. You have to see David Blaine levitate.

Yeah, or Copperfield. This is the last year. I'm proud to say that I've been to Vegas a billion times, and I've never once been to it. Actually, I saw a show I went to, Carrot Top, one time. No, we saw that Absinthe show together. Oh, yeah. That's right.

That didn't really count as a show, though. That was good. It was a circus show. You saw the Rolling Stones over there, didn't you? Yeah. Rolling Stones we saw there, but also wouldn't count that a show. I'll tell you what. It was definitely a show.

Absinthe's not a show, dude. It's a freak show. It's totally a show. It's a freak show. Do you have a ticket? Yes. It's a show. Did we sit in a theater?

Yes, we did. It was a tent outside of Caesars. There are folding chairs, and there's a start time and an end time, and there's clapping. I didn't clap. Yeah. I refused. It was a show. You saw a circus show.

Listen, here's the important thing. I will be crossing off this weekend all-nighter. I just called a guy. Are you going to be taking some substances? I just called a guy yesterday that I used to be my guy to get extracurriculars from. And I have not spoken to this guy in a while. Make sure you test it for fentanyl. You know what he said to me?

He goes, I don't do that anymore. I have children now. Now, this was, that made me very sad for a few reasons. This is a guy that I have not probably texted in, I don't know, 10 years plus. But he was my go-to guy for everything. What's everything? Every drug? He could get anything.

Then draw whatever you needed. Whatever you needed, he could take care of it. He was like a fixer. This was a guy. And he's out of that business altogether. And now he said he's in HVAC repair. I was so disappointed. You can make a good career that way.

K-Rock needs him. He's a fixer. I know I asked you about drugs yesterday, but you went from fixing situations to now fixing heating and air conditioning. Yeah, I mean, he could do great business here with AC repair and cocaine. Isn't it disappointing when you have a person that you know that's like your irresponsible guy and all of a sudden they like, quote, get it together. And then they're like, they figured it out.

And I'm like. Well, and it makes you probably feel bad because you're like, well, I have kids. Right. I know. I'm hitting you up for drugs. But I said to the guy, I'm like, so you're like out, out? He's like, yeah. He's like, I've been out for six years now.

I'm fixing people's air conditioning. But he still knows somebody. That's what I said. I'm like, so who's your, who's the guy? You had to give your business to somebody, right? And he's like, wish you all the best. Have a blessed day. I'm like, oh, man.

Blessed day? Yeah, he got blessed day. Rubbing salt in that wound. I know. He blessed dayed me, dude. So that used to be the- Have a good old-fashioned day. That guy used to say, like, I'll meet you in the parking lot in 30 minutes with an 8-ball.

Correct. Now he's saying, have a blessed day. Oh, man. So now you got nothing? What about Jake? Jake's got a hookup, I'm sure. I have a backup hookup that's fine. I just am not through.

But anyway, so I'm trying to figure out how the 24 hours will go because I'm not going to sleep. And you have that Adderall. You've got Adderall. I'm actually contemplating not even getting a hotel room because my feeling is if I get a hotel room, I'm going to sleep. Are you going with your wife? So there's the thing. So you're just doing a turnaround trip. Well, there's two things.

My wife got wind of it. She's not thrilled about the idea of me just going to Vegas for 24 hours just to let loose. Well, and it's expensive. So she goes, oh, that sounds fun, but I know that her idea of what fun in Vegas would be is very different than my idea of what fun in Vegas would be. Is her night done at 1130? Well, she would want to go to a spa, which I don't want to do, and she would want to go shopping, which I don't want to do. Uh-oh.

Those are my least favorite parts of Vegas. Those are the two things that I would least want to do. So I said, well, maybe we could go to, like, travel together, but then we could completely go part ways and then meet each other at the time to leave and drive back. Like a vacation divorce. Yeah, vacation divorce. Maybe that's the next one, maybe.

Maybe just land and then separate, see each other at the airport. But I will do the 24-hour. I got to figure out how to document it so you guys... I just want to know, what do I need to do so that you guys know that I've accomplished the all-nighter? We have to document. We need pictures and video of the whole night. So it's got to be updates like every...

Hey, now it's 3 in the morning. Now it's 6 in the morning. Oh, take an intern to videotape the entire thing. Do we have that intern still, or is he gone? On Friday? Well, it would have to be Friday. I feel like that guy would be totally down. Yeah.

Yeah, see if he could come. But I don't... Yeah, see if that guy wants to come and document it. I feel like he would just end up naked in your hotel room. Yeah, that'd be great. He's got to stay up all night, though, to do it. Yeah, great. And by the way, I just want to point out, I did accomplish one of the things on Omar's list already.

Oh, did you do sex three times in a day? Three times in a day. With your wife? Yeah. What? What's that? So you got to do it with someone when I stand? No, no, no.

That wasn't Omar's list. Omar's was three times in a day. Three times in a day is not easy, dude. That's crazy. Three times in a day, 24-hour period. I thought you said your wife would be completely horrified and disgusted if you tried to do that. I know. Is it the neck, dude?

She has PTSD now. I think, no, it was first thing in the morning when we woke up. Then we went away for the night. We pulled the night. I went to Palm Springs for one night. This was during the week we were off. Chris in the room when we got there, because that's where I'm at my best, in a new hotel room. And then the next morning, before it had been full 24 hours, I knew that I was one away from hitting Omar's three.

hit that and then i threw my hat in the air afterwards so proud of myself she said why did you do that why i don't want to look at this haircut yeah put that hat back on cover your face so congratulations that's a big accomplishment summer i think if you accomplish somebody else's fun or summer challenge you get bonus points for that i agree the more that you can accomplish so we still have about five things we have to get done before this before labor day i guess whenever this thing comes to an end but yeah i still have to do a one night stand i don't know how that's gonna work out you know what after this conversation i have with katie it might be if I can find an A or B lister.

Yeah, who's the lowest level celebrity you have to find that she gave you a celebrity hall pass for? Well, we talked about what level of celebrity it had to be. Okay, that'll be coming up by next hour on the show, so get ready for that.

That's apparently all the rage again. It's back. Everything that was once cool is now back again, and apparently celebrity hall passes are in again, so we'll get to that coming up later. Back in a moment, we do news,

and then we get you into Disneyland and Evanescence this weekend, and that's all coming up with more Klein Alley Show next. Then we get into a brand new hour of the show, plus your four packs of tickets to Disneyland is coming up this morning. It's a Klein Alley show, and here we go.

Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. It's one of the hottest days of the year, and there's a diarrhea outbreak. How's that for a funner summer? Cyclospora is a stomach virus that continues to make its way throughout America, giving as many people explosive diarrhea

as it can in the process, and they say it's not getting worse in California. However, it is now potentially linked to Taco Bell, to the point where Taco Bell is now removing some of the ingredients on their menu, though they say this is still not their fault and doesn't necessarily have anything to do with them. Tonight, Taco Bell saying they have voluntarily removed some ingredients at select locations as the food-borne parasite cyclosporiasis rapidly spreads across the U.S. The company stating public health officials have not confirmed a link to Taco Bell or any specific ingredients, supplier, restaurant or retailer. Health officials now pointing to lettuce as a possible source of the outbreak. It was really bad. There were there were moments where I was literally just camped out in the bathroom. I don't care. I'm just going to lay on this floor.

So they have also announced how many people refuse to be interviewed by the news for this story. I'll talk to you. Sure. Sure. Here's another. I would get massive amounts of diarrhea. Oh, man, she sounds terrible. You know, it can also come back, they said. Yeah. So you can get it, and you probably wouldn't get symptoms until a week after you were infected. Oh, man. So you would think you were in the clear, and then all of a sudden it would start.

And it's just one of those things that spreads easily through pools and stuff, too. Yeah, well, they also, it's very vague. They said produce and water. I'm like, okay, well, that's almost everything. And then they say wash your produce to try and combat this. But then what if the water you're washing it with is contaminated with this stuff? It's kind of weird when the punchline, like the obvious joke is always like, oh, Taco Bell, enjoy your diarrhea. And then when it just becomes the reality.

And I know that they claim there's been no direct link or there's been no official link yet. But apparently they interviewed a bunch of the people that have this thing. And the one thing that they all claim, they're like, well, I was a Taco Bell. Hey, I was also a Taco Bell. Like just happened to be multiple people that ate a Taco Bell. Right. And Taco Bell saying it's not necessarily proven. Right.

But I mean, if you're like on a jury here, you're going like, stop with Taco Bell, right? Yeah, but who has gone to Taco Bell that hasn't gotten diet? Or like, how can you even tell if it's from that? Right, but it's also different types. There's like the Jake type that he gets every day. Then there's the like, oh man, I had Taco Bell. I probably shouldn't go out tonight. And then this is like the big one.

This is like the big one. The mother load. So congratulations. Living with your parents in adulthood used to be a sign of failure. It was a mark of shame. And, you know, people would say, I can't date this guy. He still lives with his mom in his mom's basement. What a loser.

But over the last decade, that mentality has changed a lot. And not only has the stigma changed, one in three adults is now living with their parents. Most of them are people in their 30s. The number jumped during COVID, yes, but then it went back down. Now it has steadily crept up again. And you wonder, with everything getting more expensive, I would wonder, like, how are people still affording vacations or clothes or, like, you know, the little things in life? But it seems like a lot of them just aren't paying rent anymore because they went back to live with their parents. And in many cases, it's people who did move out, then they struggled for 10 or 15 years and said, hey, I want to be in my 40s and not have a dime saved.

I need to start planning ahead in life. Why don't I move back in with mom for a little bit and get things figured out? Well, one of the many great ideas we had over the years was this concept of living with parents is cool, but living with your own parents is terrible because they'll put a bunch of guilt on you. So living with other people's parents where they can help do your laundry and do all the parent things, and they're probably lonely anyway. so you just don't want to move in with your own parents. Move with others and be called air M&D. Yeah, but remember Johnny moved in with some old ladies and he said, didn't it get like weird and sexual?

Yeah, they threw him out for some reason. But they would like watch him shower. Right, he was renting like a room with like a bunch of old ladies or something. It was a back room and they were like both 50-year-olds, yeah. Yeah, it was a weird situation. He was like in the Golden Girls. I don't know what happened there,

but they tossed him right out. You got evicted, right, Johnny? Well, me and all my friends at the same time did. Like we all woke up to one text in a group chat. And we were like, damn. So they got out of there. But, I mean, look, people need, it seems like it would make sense. Just move one house to the left.

That way you're not dealing with your own parents. Yeah, but I also know people who have lived, well, I actually have a friend who lives with her mom. And she pays rent. Pays her mom rent. Like cheap? I think it's comparable. I don't think it's, like, expensive. I don't think she's being gouged by her mom.

But I think it's, like, I think at this point, because she's got a husband and kids now. I think they split the rent. They're all living there? Mm-hmm. Oh, man. But at this point, her mom's getting older, and it's like, now whose house are you living in now? Now it kind of seems like the mom is a guest in her own house. If I called my parents and told them I was moving back home, I wonder who would be more upset.

Like, them or me. Like, if that was a reality of a situation. Wouldn't your mom love it? No, I don't think so. She always talks about how you never called. I know, but if I'm there for more than, like, two days, it's already like, all right, when do you think you should leave for the airport? Oh, really? Wow, you must be a drag to live with, huh?

Uh-huh, uh-huh. That's about right. Shark Week is just around the corner, and to get ready for it, a famously large great white shark has been spotted off the coast of the Atlantic Ocean. He is the biggest ever recorded in the Atlantic Ocean. He's 1,700 pounds. He's 14 feet long. His name is Contender.

He is tracked. He's got a tracker on his fin, so it's been a long time since he popped up, and yet they haven't seen him in a while. But now they know, because of this sighting, that he is headed to the popular tourist destination of Cape Cod. So what a great summer vacation for him. Man. He's going to feast.

They think this is the biggest great white shark on recorded record? In the Atlantic. I think they're bigger in the Pacific. You don't think this is product placement for Shark Week? They got to get everyone buzzing about it just to sort of get the word out? I think everyone wants to get excited about sharks in the summertime because everyone's in the water and they want to be scared of sharks. And then sharks are like, hey, I got to make sure I'm still the most feared animal in the ocean. Right?

They want to make sure they've got a good scared reputation. You got to get into a brand new hour of the show right now. and one of us is going to try to figure out exactly how a $12... Is it $12 or $16? I thought it was $12. The world's most expensive cup of ice water, courtesy of Erewhon.

What it tastes like and can they figure that out versus good old-fashioned K-Rock tap water. That's all coming up this hour. This is the world famous K-Rock. Oh, yeah. Good morning. How the hell goes it? Klein Alley Show. Back to your ear holes

and also for your viewing pleasures. We are streaming live right now on YouTube. You can head over to KROQ's YouTube and see what's happening in the studio. My name's Clyne. There's Allie. Hello. DJ Omar Khan over there. Hey, hey.

We've got the Jake Z Nerd. What's up? Postmaster Johnny and producer Vanessa in the chicken coop in the back taking the calls. 800-520-1067. This hour, a lot of things I'm excited about this hour. The hall pass conversation we had with our wives. That will go well for at least one of us and terrible for one of us. You can place your bets on that.

And we will also go ahead and give, I think, Allie, you get to be the person to do the water taste test. I do have heightened senses right now. Yeah, because you're pregnant, so you got that extra smell, extra taste. And you're also super cheap, so the idea of you drinking a $12 cup of ice water is hilarious for everyone, including yourself. And I know, yes, I do have the heightened senses, but I am also not very experienced in high-end water. You know I hate paying for water. Hate it. I would never, I barely have ever bought a bottle of water at a grocery store, let alone high-end iced water in a cup.

I've been at a restaurant before with Allie, and as the waiter comes over and says, can I get you a bottle? Allie goes, tap! Yeah. The guy just starts. Or they'll say water, and I'm like, whoa, whoa, what kind? How are we talking? I mean, I've watched them. They do their little, I let them get through their little spiel.

They always do it. Like, may I bring you a bottle of flat or sparkling? And then you go, I'll have the house. That's like the nice way to say I want tap. Allie cuts them right off. They don't even get a word out. Yes, sir, I'd like to offer you a tap. You go in the bathroom.

Turn on the faucet. Is that what you say when Katie dances too? That's what she says. That was worth it, Jake. Jesus, God. Trampled over your own stupid joke. That guy's single, ladies. We're going to break down Jake's dating profile in just a moment.

And boy, he needs some help. That's next on KROQ. What a fitting song to listen to as we get into Jake's dating profile. uh jake is single right now he's been single for a while but he did have this quote succulent girlfriend before she recently dumped him officially to get back with her ex before that he had a girl that he had moved in with and she pretty much immediately upon him moving in decided she didn't want any part of that and then evicted him so it's been a rough ride for jake and um he has given Ali and Vanessa

permission to do whatever edits that they think they need to do to his current dating profiles to try to make him more dateable. Eventually, I don't think you should be in control. If this is how things are going, then you need some kind of a coach or you need some guidance

because maybe there are mistakes that you're making on your dating profile that you don't even know you're making, Jake. Sure, yeah. That's why I told you guys to have at it. And Jake, because I'm looking now at a printout of your profiles, both your Bumble profile and your Facebook dating profile? Well, the Bumble thing is made up by

Allie and Vanessa. Well, we're going to revamp his, yeah, we're going to make him a new profile on Bumble. A new one. Right now, all he has is Facebook dating. So this is the real one, the one I'm looking at now. Correct. It's the picture of him with the sunglasses and the dog on his lap. Correct. Right. Yeah, it's cool. Vanessa, what do you think? Because

she has a different perspective as a person who's on dating apps and as a single straight girl. I'm not on dating apps right now. FYI. But anyways. You still check them out, though? No, because I don't have them. So I can't check them out. I thought you were on Raya and you were going to go out with that race car driver. No, I deleted that. That never happened.

Like, I saw him there. Yeah, but you do delete and reinstall. No, I deleted that one. It's done. Like, I can't go back. But you do... I deleted all the apps, guys. It's not working for me. I'm not going to do that. When did you delete them? Ooh, a while back. They're not on your phone? You couldn't just do

an update and there they are back? No, everything's deleted. Profiles, everything's deleted. When's the last time you've looked at a dating app? Be honest. Honestly, Like, maybe December. The summer? That's now. December. Oh, okay.

December of 2025. Okay, that's a while ago. Okay. All right, so you're done. You've given up. Yes. She's too picky. Vanessa's too picky.

Very picky. She had, like, a race car driver. There's nothing wrong with being picky. She had, like, a Formula One race car driver that hit her up on Raya, and she's like, I don't like his shoe. His eyes are too small. Yeah. Right.

It was, like, crazy. It's crazy picky. So what do you think of his main dating profile picture? Well, first of all, his main photo, he's wearing sunglasses. That's telling me he's hiding something. Also, are his eyes bitty? What do his eyes look like? I can't tell.

Because dating apps are so terrible, a girl's going to see that. She's not even going to give you a chance to go through because she's like, sunglasses next. Because it's that quick of a decision to take time to look at your profile. He claims that he was on a flight and he used up too many, I guess he got banned from swiping anymore on Facebook. For a day. Too many swipes. He's the least picky. I didn't know you could do that.

Yeah. Maybe there's only a limit for him. It's wild. He said they like said to him. You're bothering too many people. That's enough. And no one responded. And so Ali and Vanessa have spent a lot of time.

I mean, they spent, I want to say, a few hours going through your current situation to give you some pointers. And maybe you're in a similar situation now. Maybe this advice could be good for you as well. Vanessa says don't lead with a sunglass picture because already the thought is you're hiding something. Yeah, it's the same with hats, which you're wearing in a lot of the other pictures. But even the second picture, Vanessa, you think he should get rid of that one too. Why? Now I'm looking at the bamboo one.

Because he's got, no, he's got a tool shirt on, and he's got his dog in his shirt. Oh, yeah. Hold on. I'm looking at the ones that... I think your laughter says it all. I don't think we need you to break down. If you look at her notes... I just want to talk about one...

Oh, you know why I don't like that one? I know which one you're talking about. It's because he's doing a smoldering face. Like, come on, dude. Don't make a silly face. A smolder? Like, are you trying to be sexy? Because it's not working.

And then... Yeah, you're wearing a tool t-shirt, Jake. You can't do a tool shirt and a smoldering face. I was making a funny face. It was for a thing. Yeah, but nobody knows that you're making a funny face because they don't know you yet. And then you go through all the other pictures and Vanessa's comments are, no, I don't like it. No, not good.

I would delete this one. No one likes this photo. So she's deleted every photo that he's put on. So not one of his current photos is serviceable for dating? All the ones that have sunglasses for me are deleted. Well, you've also axed all the other ones. The other ones, I was just like, I don't like it. But if he likes it, and then the one that he's like holding a crotch of a man.

Well, one, he's wearing sunglasses, but I was like, nah. He's holding the crotch of a man? There is one that he's holding the crotch of a mannequin. Well, why would you do it? Jake, is the goal here to be funny or to try to get laid? It was funny. The mannequin has a sign on it that says, touch my fabric or feel my fabric or something. It was funny.

But you think a woman is going to be scrolling through and see you wearing a tulle shirt, making a Zoolander face, grabbing a mannequin, sexually assaulting a mannequin and go, that's my guy for dinner tonight? Yeah. Not going to lie,

that one's going to work. That's a really good photo because it displays his personality and it's humorous and it doesn't take himself too seriously like his other photos.

But I would also, would you agree, Vanessa, that that's boy humor? It's not boy humor. It's like actual good humor like anybody could pick up on. So then you get to... Says the boy.

Right. Says the boy. This is why it's important to have women. My point is, we don't know what the hell we're doing. Jake clearly doesn't know

what he's doing we're having a female perspective breaking down and saying this is the way a woman would look at your dating profile and you uh groping a mannequin apparently both of the women in here are completely disgusted by yeah it's just not it's yeah i get the joke but it's like so let's move on to your actual profile because it says under describe yourself you just say not an asshole it's true i go to more concerts than god and play a card game for nerds way more than I should. My wardrobe is 90% band shirts and used jeans I bought off eBay.

Hold on, let's take a moment to let all the vaginas dry up in the listening audience. I mean... Honesty is key, right? It's a little, like, too honest, though. It's too honest, dude. It's kind of like,

I'm me and I don't care about you and I'm going to smell like old pants and old shirts. Absolutely. This is it. Should I put that, then? I mean, I think that's how women are going to read that.

Currently trying to make my office look like peak Spencer's Gifts circa 1998. Now I can smell you. Event Horizon is the scariest movie ever made. I hope it's okay if I bring my dog. Let me take you to a concert that you'll probably hate. Oh, my God.

How would anybody want to swipe on this? Even if you got past the pictures, which we went over, this profile would turn me away even if I was mildly interested in you. And then if you go to your work and education, you list your job title as Sayer of Slightly Amusing Things. That's what I do. I don't think it's slightly amusing at all. Slightly.

That little tap dance joke you tried a moment ago was a complete fail. Exactly. You go back to the tap joke, and then he says you're looking for either something casual or something long-term, which shows me that you don't know what you want. I'm all about it. He's trying to cast the net wide, as wide as possible. Yeah, but then it just seems like thirsty. Of course.

That's what it is, though. It's just the whole concept you're on here. I think we need to throw this entire thing out and start from scratch. There's nothing salvageable from Jake's current dating profile? Not one picture. Not one picture and not one comment. What about the photo of him shirtless looking buff behind the mic? Ali made that.

It's AI. Oh, man. You really got me for a second. I'm brainstorming ways to make over his profile. Ali's working on ways. Ali's trying to build Jake a new profile. That's just something I'm brainstorming. I didn't show up.

I look nothing like that guy. Yeah, well, people are used to that. Hey, at least they're already out on the date. But Vanessa, you agree we need to throw everything out, right? Yeah, we got to start over. Like, actually be vulnerable. Like, you're allowed to say your hobbies, because obviously that's who you are. You're, like, 90% hobbies, but, like, you just have to be a little bit, just...

More gentle. Yes, because you're talking to girls. You're not talking to dudes. Unless you want that kind of girl that's, like, kind of like a dude. Yeah, maybe this would probably crush it on Grindr, Jake. It would crush. Darren, what's up? Hey, I just was wondering if Vanessa would check out my profile.

Hold on. A lot of people calling for us to do this to theirs. So, Jake, round one was them basically saying what you have currently is unusable. Great. The only thing I think you can keep on there is that you live in Burbank, California. Okay. That's probably... That's even questionable.

Yeah, maybe we should change that and just say California. I think you should even... It says gender, man. I'm not even sure about that. Delete his height, too. Don't say he's 5'8". Yeah, that's... And by the way, that's also a stretch.

Whatever. Yeah, I mean, that's a bit of a stretch. So you would just say, prefer not to say? Yeah. Leave it blank. Jake, I would just say leave it behind. Jake, I think the one thing that we can keep in all of this is that your language preference is English. See.

See that? And where you went to school. That's a sayer of slightly amusing things. Right there. All right. Well, anyway, round two will be tomorrow when Ali and Vanessa debut the new dating profile they're going to work on for you. Great. I think they'll get you laden within a week.

Come back in a moment. Come back in a moment when we return. Why are you fighting this? They're helping you. I'm not fighting. This is my idea. But, Jake, you're being so defensive as to what you currently have. I'm all about it.

But you know what you currently have stinks, right? I think it's funny. Vanessa, how quickly would you swipe the wrong direction on this if you came across it? Second. So quick. She's not even on here. That's only based because the first impression is the photo. So you've got to delete your sunglasses.

We want to see your beautiful eyes, Jake. You want to grow? Vanessa, will you download Facebook just so you can swipe the other direction on Jake and then unsubscribe? I will, too. Okay. We've got to take a break. We'll get back in a second. When we return, can Allie figure out what is the most expensive cup of ice water currently for sale at Air One?

It's $12 for a cup of ice water. The same ice water that I think would be free at a Starbucks. They're charging $12 for it. They claim they've infused it with some whatever crap. Can't say that word. But we will come back and figure that out after this on KMU. All the experts are saying you've got to stay hydrated today. It's a heat wave in Southern California.

It's going to get super hot, temperatures in triple digits, and the air conditioning has decided to not work at KROX. So Allie is pregnant. It's our responsibility to make sure that this baby grows inside of her healthy, so we've got to make sure she's hydrated. And there's no better way to hydrate her than with the most expensive cup of water that you can currently purchase, which she would never buy herself because she's so effing cheap.

I have never paid more than, I think, $1.50 for water, Even at the airport, I would rather go waterless and wait for the little lady to come around with a bottle of water in the cup than actually purchase a $5 bottle of water. Never would buy a bottle of water at the airport. Nope, nope, nope. I don't think I ever have. This is the water everyone's yapping about now. It's available at Air One. It's $12 for a cup of ice water.

People are, you know, can't believe it, of course. Sign of the times. Anyway, here's the news covering it. Looks like Big Daddy Erewhon might have heard tell of a gourmet gas station in Beverly Hills that's opening up and said, Introducing the $12 cup of water from Erewhon. Yeah, sort of. So anyway, that's an annoying news crew. I don't know what's happening there at all.

It's pretty terrible. But anyway, they're delivering the news about a $12 cup of water, and you can buy it at Erewhon. I know you've talked about it. I'm not going to describe what it is. It's infused with a lot of things. Yeah, I can't remember the ingredients. My short-term memory loss is pretty bad. I have the list here of all the stuff in it, but I'm going to wait until the end because we have in front of you right now five different cups of water.

All of them have been infused with different things. Okay, hold on. Most of them cost us absolutely nothing to make. So everything on this table is free. Some of them have a sugar packet inside. It's a K-Rock tap water with a sugar packet, which was pretty much free. Others are slight variations. I think one of them is filtered water from the coffee maker at K-Rock, also free, that we infuse with a sip of someone else's half-drunk Celsius.

But the point is, these are all, quote, infused waters. Only one of them is $12. The other's all completely free. Why are these all so many different colors? And please can you at least confirm that one of them is not pee? I cannot. I can't drink pee, guys. Hey, Ken, it's sterile.

And I cannot confirm that at this point. So somebody peed in a cup. No, I didn't say that. I didn't say that. We're doing a drug test after this. Did anybody poo in a cup? Am I drinking pee or poo? No, no, no.

No one did that, Allie. Well, we wouldn't do that to you. And also, I believe, I'm not sure. That one is suspicious looking. This looks like pee. Vanessa, you help put this together. Allie, you're pregnant. We wouldn't do anything to harm you.

Yeah. Like he says. Vanessa's such a bad liar. I know, right? You know I'm a bad liar, so you know that was the truth. Yeah, do you think, Vanessa, there's nothing in here that is not fit for human consumption, correct? Correct. Okay.

That does not say much. What does that say? Does one of them have that diarrhea parasite? It does. They're all tap water from Taco Bell. There's a little bit of lettuce in there. It's lettuce water from Taco Bell. So here's the question.

Ken Alley, she said, you can watch this right now on YouTube if you want to see what these look like. Each one of them, because they're all in the Air One cups, so they all look fancy. I'll put it that way. Just these cups alone, these plastic cups, I think, are valued at five bucks. And what is this one with a lollipop inside? Is that... I don't know. Let me see that one.

What is that? That's a lemon slice. What are you calling a lollipop for? I can't... This is... You think that Erewhon would... I don't know. That looks like expensive water to me.

It looks like a lollipop. It is a lollipop. It looks like a lemon on a stick. That's a dream. Look, I don't... Once again, I would never spend $12 on a cup of ice water. Not going to do it. Well, you did, didn't you?

Yes, for this segment, I did. Yes, for this bit, I did spend it. How much did the people laugh at you when you bought this? I hated going in to get it. I hated that the people behind me said, are you really getting it? And I hated the fact that the guy that seemed cool that was selling it to me goes, are you sure you want that? And I said, I do, but it's not for me. And that was it.

And he looked at me. He's like, whatever. And then, because I didn't want to come across like a total loser, I said, and let me get some chicken tenders. Because they had chicken tenders. And I spent $7 on two chicken tenders, which, by the way, half the price. Half the price of this cup of water. Uh-huh. So think about that for just a second.

And they taste good? Yeah, they're chicken tenders. Not as good as, you know, Raising Cane's or whatever, but they're fine. Okay. So Allie's got the five cups. You want to go ahead and make this interesting? Sure. One of them is a $12 cup of water.

The others all cost less than two cents to make. So what is the bet? Because I am going to say that you will not be able to do it. I think I'll be able to do it, and if I can do it, I want you to buy me this water every day. No. Every day for what? It's $12. Definitely.

No. This water, I'm going to tell you right now that the Erewhon water is infused one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, nine different things, including some sort of special ice cubes that I think came from a glacier or something. Okay, if I do this right, I want you to stop working out. No more protein. You're off it. You're off it for at least a month. And creatine. I'll stop.

I'll happily stop working out. I wasn't going to work out anyway. It's too hot. You can't stop. Yeah, I can stop. I'll stop. Hey, that's what addicts say. I'll stop right now.

I can stop. I can do it. I can stop. I just choose to continue. I can stop right now. Do 50 push-ups and think about it. Go ahead. Is that the bet you want to do?

I'm going to let you bet whatever you want, but you have to put up something as well if you're not able to do it. Five cups of water in Front Valley. one of them is the most expensive cup of ice water ever on a day, then it's very important that you stay hydrated. I want...

Two of the things Vanessa just told me in my ear would be harmful to an unborn fetus. What? I don't know which cup it's in, though. Well, I have to drink out of all the cups. What does it matter what cup it's in? A little sip shouldn't matter, though, Vanessa, right? Little sips? Little sips. Where are you getting

this information? The scientists. The scientists. The scientists. That's right, we contacted scientists, as you know. All right, whenever you're ready. All right. No, no, okay, you'll be fine.

Everyone says you'll be fine. I'm going to start with the clear one. All right, this is a clear, looks like a clear cup of water. Oh, Allie's making a weird face. Okay, that's water with some kind of a flavoring in it. It's very strong. That cannot be Erewhon. Why do you say that?

Because it's way too sweet. It seems like it was thrown together, like it's got a flavor packet or electrolytes or some kind of a weird powder that's now dissolved. So you don't think that could possibly be a $12 cup of water? Way too sweet. That was the pee.

No, I'm just kidding. That person has a UTI. Alright, this is the second cup of water. Allie's now holding up and drinking it. This is the one that kind of looks like pee but tastes like tea. So it looks, it's got a tea infused thing

going on which could be an marijuana contender because I do remember that I think there is some jasmine tea or some kind of tea infused in the water. Once again, it's being marketed as a $12 cup of ice water. I think they have a name for it too. It's called sacred water. That's right. This next one Allie's picking up is pink looking in color. She's also making a weird face. That's some other powder that someone found in a drawer. That's a drawer powder you're saying. Once again, Allie doesn't know water because she's cheap and doesn't pay. Now she's drinking the fourth one now. The fourth one also looks kind of like

What in the God's name is that taste? That is feet. I think it's water and feet. One of the cups was filled after someone got a pedicure on the show. If that is the Erewhon water, I don't know what we're doing

here. This one? Okay. That's the fourth one you're trying. Let me just double check. I know which one is which you've eliminated you've eliminated number one already you think it's not one okay i was eliminated one she said the pink one tastes like drawer powder the second one tastes good it tastes like a really yummy like water infused with tea so that is my number one contender if it's this last one that i had that is the most disgusting water i've ever tasted and if anyone's paying any money for that they need to be institutionalized yeah you have one more cup

there. This is the one that has the lemon on a stick in it. And she's sipping this one now. She made fun of the fact that it looks like a lollipop is floating in the water, but now she is having a sip. And that one also has a slight tinge of yellowness to it, but she's sipping this one.

That's the fifth water. I at least tried five waters to stay hydrated. It's very important. Pregnant people, old people stay hydrated on days like today. This one has the most flavor to it. I taste a few different things. I can taste a little bit of lemon. I can taste a little bit like botanicals, you know?

I think this might be it. Allie is, just so you know, people on the text line saying that you look beautiful. Watching Allie sip water and do that thing with her lips, I find very sexy. I may be into preggos now, someone says. So look at this. Allie is drinking her fifth cup now. Yeah, I think you may have put this in

here to try and throw me off, whatever this lemon sucker thing is. Why do you think I have lemons on sticks floating around at my place? Well, what is this? I don't know. Once again, all I do... There's no way it came with this. Listen, you've now tried all the waters. I feel like some people are able to guess successfully just on appearance alone. Which one would you like to eliminate immediately?

I'm immediately eliminating the clear water and the pink water. All right, pink and clear out. Am I at least right about those? You have eliminated two. The first one you eliminated was K-Rock tap water with a Splenda packet in it. That's what it was. You eliminated that. The second one you eliminated, the pink one, had one of those electrolyte packets that was found at the drawer here at K-Rock in it.

And that was also water. So you are successful so far. Now you're down to three options. One of them is the $12 cup of water. I'm eliminating this one that I think is just water with a little tea in it. Allie's eliminating the one that she believes to be just water with a tea bag soaking in it. That one is also not Air One. That was made here with a bag of Lipton tea seeping in a cup of tap water from the bathroom.

On grossest of the taps. But it's been sitting in the fridge and chilling for the last hour. Was any of this from a toilet? One of them was, yes. Not bad. Down to two now. She's trying one. One is giving her a very bad gag reflex.

And she doesn't like it. Oh, my God. I think this is it. You think the gross one that's making you gag is the $12 cup of water? Yes, I do. Really? Yes, because it's got like a coconut-y taste. It also has, like there's too many tastes happening at once.

It's not a good commercial for it if that's it. It's just terrible. And then the last one you claim has got a nice lemon taste to it. Like this I like. This has a really nice taste, actually. And I'm just wondering if Erewhon would overdo it with this horrible, overpriced, bad-tasting $12 water or if they would actually make something that's decent. I'm still going to go with the gross one. You think the gross one is the $12 cup of water?

I think the gross one is the $12 cup of water. All right. The one that you couldn't decide between, the one that you liked was actually, once again, from the tap at K-Rot, flavored with a lollipop soaking in it for 12 hours. That's a 12-hour lollipop soak. It's a lollipop. Where'd you get this lollipop? I don't know. Everything was found here at K-Rock and free.

The cup that you found to be the grossest, you are correct. That is the organic coconut water, organic jasmine tea, organic raw honey, organic holy basil, organic AC hot pop pop, organic green cardamom, organic white grape juice, and organic coconut milk. Too much. Which all makes it what it is, a $12 cup of sacred water. So, Allie, you are successful. You have picked it, and you look disgusted by it. And that is the $12 cup you poured out.

I mean, this is, do you want to taste this? It tastes horrible. Not really. Not after you drank out of it. Oh, come on. Now it's got herpes in it. Now it's herpy water. Do the other side of the cup.

So you don't like it. Jake, you want to come in and try it? No, I don't, but you should. No way. I'm going to try the herp water. Forget that. Come on, that's what I want as my present. No, no, I'll do whatever you, I'm going to actually, you know what, I'm going to go with

your original, I'm going to buy you a cup of that every day, and you're going to drink No. That's what you wanted. That's what you wanted. I don't want this anymore. Congratulations. You get what you want. Every day, you'll start your day with that.

They rock. We are playing Ellie's show. We'll get into some ADD news in just a moment and then be ready to call. I'll remind you of the numbers. Perhaps you're a brand-new listener, never called before, figured what's the point. I won't win. I've never won a thing in my life. I love talking to first-time winners, and that could be you coming up for Disneyland tickets,

800-520-1067. Not now, but in about five minutes or the second we're done with this. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. We talk about this every year and it never seems to happen, but another move has been made to eliminate daylight saving time. This time it was passed in the House. The Sunshine Protection Act was passed in a 308 to 117 vote. Now, what does that mean? Right now, it means nothing.

Next, it needs to go to the Senate and it's unclear whether it's going to pass there or not. If you're keeping track, about four years ago, the Senate passed something similar, but then the House never voted on it. So it's essentially ping-ponged back and forth for years, just like the clocks, but this time they insist that it be voted on as soon as possible. And if that passes, it would have to go to Trump's desk. And he has called for both daylight saving time to be eliminated and for it to be made permanent. So clearly, just like us, he has no idea how it works. So the idea would be, and maybe Omar's the only guy that could speak to this with any level of intelligence, but if they were to vote this, then things stay the way they are now or the way they are right now.

Because we're in spring forward. Right, exactly. And you would stay in the spring forward. Yes. But people who oppose it say you're forgetting about all the darkness that would happen in the winter. Yeah. But people insist that it would be better for our health. It would be better for the economy, better all around.

And for us Uggos, darkness is our friend. Oh, yeah. I would like to figure out a way to make more darkness. And it's weird because I've gotten used to driving to work in the dark. And driving to work when there's any daylight, I'm like, whoa, whoa, what's going on here? I don't like it. I don't like the sun coming up. I know it's better for our circadian rhythm or whatever.

Circadian. What is it? Circadian rhythm. Cicadas, a giant disgusting thing. Yeah, but that's part of it, right? I think it is. Only once every seven years I feel normal. That's my circadian rhythm.

It's a circadian rhythm. But the point is, I think that there is some issue where, I know everyone says it was for the farmers, and the farmers say, don't blame us, we don't need it. So now, what are we doing it for? And that's why it's constantly being talked about. If every time they switch the clocks, they claim that's when people have more heart attacks, and that's when people get in more car accidents. It seems like every day it's like the purge whenever there's daylight standards.

So just get rid of it. I know. It seems like a no-brainer, but then it continuously just... The reason I'm going to tell you why they're going to get rid of it is because it's going to be one of those stories that we all tell, you know... Like the day it finally happened. First of all, that'll be like a raging event. I hope it's like a big party.

But I think that it's going to be one of those things like when my parents will tell me about things that used to happen in their day and I'm like, shut up, Grandpa. That's going to be us being like, we used to change the clocks twice a year. And they're like, you loser. Yeah, I mean, it sounds like such an old-timey thing. We had to accommodate the roosters, mating season. Don't you feel, though, if we did keep it, that we never got that hour back?

Like, we sprung forward, and the fall back is like, oh, I got the hour back, and we never got it back. That hour of our lives is just gone. So give us the hour, and then we'll switch, and then we'll keep that one. That's what I think we should do. I don't care. It doesn't matter to me, because I don't even know the difference. I never know what time it is ever anymore. Well, and with our iPhones, it really, like, you just wake up, and it feels like, you just feel more grumpy, and you don't know why.

Yeah, that's it. Summer always feels a little extra fun when you can find yourself on a boat. And as far as boats go, I believe the pontoon boat to be the tamest, chillest boat experience that you can get. If a buddy ever says, hey, I got a boat, and you're like, yeah, and then you show up and it's a pontoon, it's like a little yes of a yeah. I mean, it's still fun, though. You're like pitter-pattering around. It's way better, dude. Pontoon boat?

Partying with all your buddies? You want a speed boat? Some of those things have grills on them and stuff. Yeah, it's a grill. Well, it's got to be a good pontoon, then. I've been on a real crappy pontoon before And it's not like nearly as much fun The speedboats, what are you going to do?

Drive 80 on the water? I do agree that the speedboat is overrated It's like wow this one goes so fast Remember we went fast on a speedboat And I was like We were like holding on for dear life This is not enjoyable That's fun

It's exhilarating That was a fun ride That was the best boat ride ever Oh my god my hair was like Yeah, all right. Well, you're not fun then. So you should get a canoe or a kayak like in the herpes commercial. I do love a good kayak, and I have an inflatable one.

So this morning, there is actually a tragic pontoon boat situation. Now I feel bad that I made fun of pontoons. You should have started with that. Yeah. Well, this was a pontoon boat. It was actually a multi-level pontoon boat. It had three levels. Did it have a slide, too?

I don't know if it had a slide. There's a couple of different reports. So this thing capsized. It was in the Bay Area. It was going from, it was between the bridge and Alcatraz. So right in that main sweet spot area. And it capsized. It was taking on water.

There was some report that there was a fire on the boat. So in that case, there would have been a grill or something. But I guess when they arrived, they couldn't tell that there was any kind of fire. But there were 20 people on the boat. They were able to rescue most of them. But one person died, and they're still looking for three people. They have, like, you know, submarine crews down there trying to find them right now. How much do you guys think a pontoon boat costs?

I just looked up pontoon boats for sale. They start, like, at $18,000, but, I mean, I'm sure they go up to, like, 100 Gs or something. I didn't realize this, guys, but we could be boat people for the low, low cost. Oh, wait a minute. I thought that was $1,200. Never mind. It's $12,000. But still, that's not that much.

I mean... Hold on. Let me see what this one looks like for under $4,000. They come with crappy-ass motors. You need one with a good motor. This one, Allie. A pontoon, though, do you? We could buy this fishing pontoon for $539.99.

It has one seat. Fishing pontoon? There it is. Is that where one of the seats is elevated on one of those poles? No, that's just one of those. Is that like an inflatable? Anytime you see a guy on a lake on one of those, you're like, that's just a creepy old fisherman. Yeah, but that's a pontoon.

We could be pontoon lovers. That's technically called a pontoon boat? It's got, it looks like... So what makes a pontoon a pontoon? That thing doesn't even have a deck. I think it's got to have the inflatable. I think what makes it a pontoon is the... Is that it floats?

That's every boat. No, the inflatable parts. Yeah, the long cylinder things or whatever underneath it. Right, that's the difference between like a boat. We're not boat people, so we don't know the answer to this. All I know is my uncle spent $200 on a boat thinking that he was going to turn it into this incredible experience and he just got rid of it

because he spent thousands of dollars trying to fix it and regretted every minute of it. I would love someone to play this conversation to a bunch of rich people that all own their own yachts and be like, here's how the other 99% of people talk about boats. So we've talked about rave culture making a weird change. It's not just at nightclubs anymore. There are raves happening at coffee shops. There are kids' raves happening. And now Dave & Buster's is throwing their own rave series called Rave & Buster's.

It is a new rave series tour that they're embarking on. It is kicking off at the end of July, July 30th, in Honolulu, and then it's going to go across a bunch of different cities. Towards the end of the tour is going to be in Irvine on Halloween. So you can go to a rave at Dave & Buster's on Halloween in Irvine, and they say it includes surprise guest headliners, multi-genre lineups, and featuring the sounds of bass, house, trap, dubstep, UKG, and everything else in between. And skeeble.

Wow. Rave & Buster's, congratulations. They say it's a big turnaround as people are flocking now to the old Raven Busters for Molly and tickets. Call 20 right now. Let's get you to Disneyland, as promised. 800-520-1067. Give us a call. We'll pick up the 20th caller after MGMT and give you the good news.

A brand new hour starts next on KROQ. This is the world famous KROQ. USA! USA! USA! I'm not in it. USA! USA! Change that crowd to say Argentina or something. It's Jay Rock with Klein Alley Show. Good morning. How the hell goes it?

If you need us, phones are open. Actually, no, they're not. They're not open now, but they will be again in a moment because we've got to go ahead and clear out some of these lines. Everyone wants to go to Disneyland, and I don't blame you. Four tickets will be yours if I pick up your call right now, and then we send you to one of the happiest places on planet Earth, and that is Disneyland,

and we say good morning to Caller 20, which puts us in Ontario, California. Is this Marco? Yes, it is. Marco, you are a caller 20. Awesome. Thank you very much. Congratulations.

Sweet divots to you and enjoy your time in Disneyland. Who are you bringing with you? I'm bringing the family. They finally need a trip out. Do you have just two kids and a significant other or do you have to leave

one of your least favorite kids at home or something? No, it turns out we got two in one, so it looks all perfect. Thank you. Yeah, when you're planning how many kids you're going to make, you should think about if I win a four-pack of tickets to Disneyland. It's always a four-pack.

And when you go on rides, a lot of times four is the perfect number. Yeah. My advice to you would be if you go to Disneyland during the summer, don't bitch out and be the poncho people. It's hot outside. You get wet. There's a lot of great water rides. Just get wet and enjoy yourself.

You'll dry up again. Oh, that's the plan. Thank you. You're very welcome. Hold on one second. Enjoy those tickets. We'll have more for you coming up at noon today, and then we'll do it again tomorrow

until we get every single one of you into Disneyland. Let's make that happen. This hour on the show, Allie and I both confronted our wives with a conversation about hall passes. They went very differently, I guess. Yeah, I haven't heard your audio yet. I know how mine went and have not even... You haven't heard anything this morning? Haven't heard anything since the...

Haven't heard a beep? It led to a disagreement last night. Went to bed quiet, silently, and have woken up and there's been no exchange this morning. So once again, thanks to the show for ruining my personal life. So we will get to that coming up this hour on the show. Also, a little man versus machine. Do humans stand a chance against the robot overlords that are taking over? We are in the middle of a heat wave, so a lot of people turning to AI to save their lives.

And we'll figure out if us humans have better ideas than the robots as to ways to, quote, beat the heat. We'll officially ask AI, how can you beat the heat? Is it even beatable? And we will see if humans or robots reign supreme for another week. That will all be coming up this hour on the show. Plus Evanescence tickets if you want to go on Saturday to the Kia Forum for that show. We'll make that happen for you. Lots of reasons to keep it locked on KROQ this morning.

And then we're here as well. And that will all continue after Incubus on KROQ. Serious question because there's, I guess, a movie coming out about celebrity hall passes. So people are discussing this whole concept again. I know it's an old thing and there was a movie years ago. I think it was called Hall Pass. It was a funny movie, I think. And it was the whole idea about can a marriage stand up or survive?

the whole concept of yeah what the hell you're going to vegas you can have a hall pass and then there's the celebrity hall pass concept which is even more preposterous because the reality is most people in the world are never going to encounter or be anywhere near these quote celebrities we live in a place where maybe that's a possibility i mean it is possible if you think about if you lived in southern california for any amount of time maybe at some point you did encounter a famous person somewhere and then you're like if they happen to be oh my god what are the odds i I ran into Mario Lopez. That's my celebrity hall pass.

He's also in the clearance section at Target. Hey, Mario Lopez, you're my hall pass. So the question really is if that is a real thing and if you've agreed to that or if that can even happen. Who is the hall pass? Is it a specific person or a genre? Oh, genre? That's a thing you can do? What does that mean, genre?

You can do a genre pass? Female. That's my hall pass. The genre of ladies. I have the genre. I thought we agreed to this. Lady pass. Or like the cast of...

Oh, you could take a show pass. Right. A show. If I run into anyone from the... Or anyone I had a crush on growing up. Like any celebrities that I had a celebrity crush on. You probably couldn't have gotten them when they were in their heyday, but now it's been a while. But now Jonathan Taylor Thomas, I think, just hangs out at a bar in Silver Lake.

I could probably knock that out. Right. Yeah, that girl from Small Wonder is probably like 60 now. I'll probably have my way with her. Probably hit it. Yeah. So some of these are not that out of reach. That's the thing, though, is that if you finally got to the point where it was possible, because I did have a, I had a one-time encounter with Pam Anderson, and it was a more of a modern-day Pam Anderson as opposed to a, you know, more of a mayday than a heyday, you know?

The modern-day no eyebrows one? Not that modern-day, but less. Before she started not wearing makeup? Not prime Pam Anderson, but I felt like, man, that would have been such a, you know, bucket list thing. Not that it would have ever happened, but then I thought to myself, but it's not nearly as... When you say encounter, do you mean you were just in the same room with her or was there a possibility? We were, it was just the two of us together somewhere. Doing what?

Waiting for our cars at the... At the valet. At the valet. Okay. Did you say anything? I did, yeah. We had a nice chat. What did you say?

I'm not going to go into what I said. I don't remember what I said. It's pretty simple. Did you make a car joke? No. You totally did. I said, are you going to get in it or just roll around on the front of it and pose? I didn't say that.

I thought about saying that. No, but the question is. Did a nice car pull up and you're like, that's me. Just kidding. No, I didn't. Luckily, her car pulled up first. I didn't have to get into that. And she tried to back it all over me on the way out.

But the real question is, has it happened? Where do you have, maybe you have an agreement with your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, whatever. What is the agreement? That's question one. Question two is. Has it ever played out? Has it ever played out? Has anyone ever, I was curious, in real life scenario, because we talked to a lot of people.

You can be anonymous if you need to be. You're not going to out freak the person we talked to yesterday about the gummy worms, so don't worry. You're playing for second place on this one. But has it ever happened, and what was the fallout of it? Was the fallout good, bad? Is the whole idea of the hall pass situation that you don't have to ever speak of it, so it's kind of like this was agreed to ahead of time. They probably agreed to it because they never thought it would happen,

but now I'm going to make it happen. A lot of questions. And then Allie and I both confronted our wives yesterday with some damning audio where we discussed the concept. And we'll play that for you after we get back from this quick break, and we'll hear your stories next at 800-520-1067. This is a cautionary tale. I'm reading some of the texts coming through and people on the phones at 800-520-1067

as we discuss this concept of the Hall Pass, which is nothing new, but it's coming back now because I guess there's some movie that's coming out called So-and-So Something Celebrity Hall Pass. But anyway. It's called So-and-So Something Celebrity Hall Pass. I don't know. We're not promoting the movie. I don't even know what it's called, but there's been a lot of conversation.

Until you interview them on the golf course, I don't care. 657 says, I got a Hall Pass for my wife to go out with the boys and drink as much as I want. Only if I got with any girls, she would find out and she said she would burn all my stuff. So I was scared and I didn't even drink that night.

So that's once again, not a real hall pass, but someone claims that they did have a friend that had a celebrity hall pass with the rapper Genuine. Oh, wow. The singer, Genuine.

I thought that could happen. He came to a club one day to perform and they ended up sleeping together. Whoa. And then she was all excited to tell her man that it happened And when he found out, he divorced her. Oh, damn.

And she's going, whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought this was, he was the good, he was. Oh, you can plead that in court. Hall pass. He was the approved genuine. You said I could sleep with genuine. I love that she was excited to tell him. I can't wait to tell him.

I slept with genuine. I cheated on you with genuine. But I guess that's, once again, not cheating because that was a conversation that was had. And we're learning the pros and the cons of the hall pass. In a moment, you're going to hear Allie and I have a very difficult conversation with our wives. Hi, Josh on KROQ. Good morning. Hey, how's it going, Klein?

What can we do for you? So, my kitchen pass, because I'm so old, that's what it was called back in the day, not the hall pass. My kitchen pass is Chloe Sevigny. And, like, 2015, I was driving for Uber, and I told my girlfriend at the time, I was so out of my mind that I thought I was going to go to L.A. and give rights to all the stars. and I was going to remake this scene from this movie, Kids, and pick up Chloe Sevigny.

Isn't it the movie where everyone got AIDS? Yes, it is. You want to recreate the movie where everyone got AIDS? Hey, it's me, Casper. I'm going to recreate the scene where she got into the cab after she finds out that she got AIDS.

But what ends what happens? What a weird fantasy scene to recreate. And this is all in your kitchen, Cas? You told this to her? Yeah. How else are you going to introduce Chloe Sweeney to your girlfriend at the time?

I kid you not. My first night driving Uber, this is what I told my girlfriend before I went out there. I kid you not. I picked up Chloe Sweeney. Did she tell you that she had AIDS? I was trying to play it cool, but she was with her boyfriend at the time.

Ah, I really ruined your plan. Yeah. That is interesting, though. Even just to encounter the person that you have the hall pass with. I mean, there's no chance anyone's ever gone up to a celebrity and said,

I'm sure it actually probably does happen. You're my hall pass. They probably hear that. Some of, you know, the blur out bits. Probably happens to some comedian and they're like, I'll sleep with you.

Right. Like, that's the thing. I mean, if anyone ever said to me, you're my hall pass, I guess it's got to work for both parties because the hall pass has to go, all right. I mean, the odds of it all lining up

and working out are so rare. Right. The other person has to either be single or they have to have you as a hall pass. So, Allie, I don't know how your conversation went with your wife well in my scenario we didn't really have an issue because we do think that it's so unrealistic that it's easy to say it's totally fine if there were a couple celebrities or people

that we had hall passes for who would they be for you we already know isn't just taylor swift i don't know garbage i know it really smells sorry we were having an issue with our garbage The middle of that was conversation? You're having a conversation by a stanky garbage can? Whenever you think things are going to get less and less... I know. It's unbelievable. It's just such a letdown every single time.

Every single time. I get so excited. I'm available to add. I try to forget what Alec looks like. I'm like, here we go now. It's getting somewhere. The garbage can really stinks. I know.

It really smells. There. Okay, so one shot. Now she's changing the garbage as we... Oh, God, that house is gross. Just gross. And it has three cats. Okay, so when Jack, this whole thing with Jack Antonoff and Margaret Folley,

it's like all those whatever's going around. I was like, maybe I can have an affair with Jack Antonoff. Oh, so you go with a guy. Oh, there's just, I don't know, I'd be a little curious. If you got Jack, could I have Margaret? Sure. Well, if I had a list, would you be opposed to checking off the list? Celebrities are on limits.

On limits? Off. Yeah. Wait. They're not off limits. They're on. Jedi mind trick. Whoa.

Once again, what she is doing is genius because I don't know what the rule is, but she's obviously said something. Right. Celebrities are on limits. On limits. Not off, off limits. Exactly. Anyone's game is what she's saying.

Until you did it, in which case she's like, I said they're not on limits. Right. And you're like, what? I don't know about the limits. Do you have AIDS? what is happening here so i can have sex with any celebrity if i can any celebrity is fine yeah why wouldn't it be fine what that's crazy any celebrity that means like what is a celebrity someone who's on the bachelor they're walking around the streets thank you this is what i asked

what level celebrity like any list d no it has to be like a b a b celebrities any and your b lister yeah and man or woman yeah right no i like that do you have someone in mind i mean really it's just any a lister right i mean anybody that was an a lister that i could sleep with you'd rather have sex with an ugly a lister than a super attractive d lister i don't yeah probably really i mean god who's an unattractive a lister like al pacino yeah there's some old a listers out Yeah, there's a ton. Steve Buscemi's a great unattractive A-lister. I'd probably have sex with him.

Just because you know the story? Why would they be off limits? So what if it's people we know? I don't want you cheating on me. Yeah, but if there's a hall pass. Why is there a hall pass? It's like someone you've always wanted to sleep with. Like, is there someone in your past that you've always wanted to sleep with?

No, I slept with everybody. Oh, my God. Jesus, for the win. Huh? Yeah, glad to be sloppy 500s. If you have the opportunity to sleep with Taylor Swift, then you should take it. Well, you're not me. I know.

And I will forget about you. With who? Anybody. So there it is. There's the end of it. So she's got one very unattainable, massive A-lister on her list. And you can have anyone who's, quote, classified as a celebrity on the A or B list? Yeah.

And that opens up a lot. Pretty good conversation. For you, yeah. But it seems like people we know are off limits. But you don't know any celebrities. No, but I don't think a hall pass has to just be a celebrity. Why don't you tell Vanessa just to start booking people on our show that are A's or B-listers you want to have sex with

because then you'll have a chance to meet them because that's the whole thing too. Book Steve Buscemi for next week, Vanessa. He's got some new project coming out, I'm sure. He's going to be in that weird, stupid hall pass movie. Yeah, let's get in here. So how did your conversation go? Not good.

No. This is how it started. Did you figure out all that? Would you ever let me have sex with Sydney Sweeney if I met her? You're recording me. So what's the point of this? You're recording me, so what's the point of this? She's game for anything.

I'm just asking. What is that? That you're recording. Do you believe in hall passes? Yes, for me. Oh. What would you want? Sidney Sweeney?

No. You can have Sidney Sweeney. I've now given her the hall pass of Sidney Sweeney. Yeah, but she doesn't want that. Why wouldn't you let her tell you what she wants? I don't want Sidney Sweeney. Right. Let's make that a fair deal.

We can both have Sidney Sweeney. No. What's the point of this bit that you're doing? She's not a fan. Are you, just out of curiosity, when they immediately say you're recording, are you holding up a phone to her face? No. How obvious are you?

Try to be discreet, man. I'm trying to be discreet. The phone is on mic. You feel like a mic flag on her face in bed? Do you have one of those on-air lights in the room that turns on? I mean, she's just, you can't be incognito in any way. I said, I had her come on Meet Me at the Podium, and that's where this conversation happened. You had to do that collapsing?

Yeah, I had to wait until I was... Back to one? I had my phone resting on my chest. I thought it was incognito And we're sitting there watching TV And I said great I'll just mention Casually this conversation What's the point of this bit that you're doing

It's not a bit we're doing We're having a conversation What's the topic Based on the hall passes That's not even who you'd want Your hall pass to be So she says that's not who I would want My hall pass to be

She thinks she knows It's not who I would want Me. Who would you want? You would want me. That's not a whole pass. That's a whole way. He would want you to be her whole...

No. She thinks I would want her to be my whole pass. And I said, that's not a whole pass. That's a whole way. That's just you having sex with your wife. Right. That's no pass. It's not a joke.

Right. So... Wait, so does she think that you would prefer, like, Emily Radjaskowski or something? Oh, that's a good one. I should have mentioned her. I know. When they ask, like, who, you're like, oh, my God, who wouldn't it be? Right, right.

But, you know, and the odds, once again, I think that the odds, everyone just plays the fact that it'll never happen. So it's one of those, quote, harmless fantasies. Totally. And we're just trying to figure out if it's ever happened. Well, the same way that you masturbate to me, why would you masturbate to me? She thinks that you think of her when you masturbate? Yeah, because one time she caught me, and she said, what are you looking at?

And I said, you, your Instagram. What? You clearly were not, right? No, I wasn't. Yeah. It was a different person. Who is thinking about their own significant other when they're pleasuring themselves? That's your chance to think about anything but that person.

Right, exactly. We'll get recorded tonight and tell her that. All right, and how do you have a question? Meet me back in the recording studio for some more hidden audio. So, anyway, Hall Pass is looking sharp in our future. Wow, a lot of warnings of things that went backwards on the text line. It's K-Rock. We are Klein Alley Show.

Man vs. Machine next. Consider this a warning. It is going to get super hot in all parts of Southern California today. Temperatures in triple digits, I believe, a little bit after the show today. Jake will be roaming the streets with Moist Joyce, doing some pit stops to make sure people have the right amount of deodorant on on a day like today. It's a PSA, a little B-O-P-S-A. So to make sure that you're not stanking up all of SoCal because you're not dressed appropriately and you're not wearing the right amount. Sometimes you've got a double layer, triple layer of a deodorant.

Sometimes people even bring it with you. I think Jake's going to be handing out sticks of deodorant today to people that stank. I think that's a good next level thing to do. Help people. And then I think if the people, do we have the stickers ready to go? I believe anyone who's been pit approved gets to wear a sticker all day, like a smog check sticker that says that their BOs were checked and approved. Pass the test. So that's exciting.

That'll be happening through the streets later today. So be on the lookout for that. And a reminder, if you're getting ready for the day, put on enough deodorant. But meanwhile, a lot of people are turning to AI to help them beat the heat. And we will get into a round of man versus machine in a moment to see if us humans stand a chance against the robot overlords. When it comes to all things heat wave, here we go. Questions that were asked to the AI overlords that will eventually rule us all. And then we as humans will try to see if we even stand a chance anymore with just regular human intelligence.

First question is for DJ Omar Khan, who is a human, last I checked, although he does seem to be the most, usually he's like step for step with the robot in most of his answers. So the question is, a lot of people are saying, how to beat the heat, beat the heat, got to beat the heat. We asked AI, what is the best way, what is one way that you could quote and should beat the heat? And what do you think, as a human, is the most important way to beat the heat, Omar? Well, the best way is going to be to visit your local Costco. Because not only are you going to get free snacks, free samples, but they have that excellent freezer where they keep all the, you know, like eggs and strawberries and all that. You just cruise around there and then, yeah. And you cruise, go to the Costco because you can eat.

Yeah, you can eat and then go into the little freezer section, you know, where they keep the eggs. And then just chill out there. And then you can go get some more snacks and then go back and cruise around. And you can stay cool for a very long time inside the Costco. All right. Omar says go to Costco. That's the best way to beat the heat. If you're not a member, I don't know how you're going to figure that out.

You go in and say you're going to have a prescription filled. Oh, is that what you said? Or you can buy alcohol there if you don't have a membership. And then you just go hang out in the freezer? Yeah. Cool. No, that won't raise any alarms. Nothing sad about that.

When is he going to pick up his prescription? Oh, I'm lost. It's just sitting on the cucumber. All right, here's what the robot said. What's the best way to beat the heat? If you're trying to stay cool during a hot day, the most effective strategy are to keep your core body temperature down and stay hydrated, so drink plenty of water throughout the day. If you're sweating heavily, include an electrolyte drink or eat foods rich in potassium and sodium. Well, the robot says it has nothing to do with location.

It has to do with what you're putting in your body to keep your core temperature down. That is the only way to, quote, actually beat the heat. So I like Omar's answer better for so many reasons. Yeah, me too, because even drinking water, I feel like, does nothing when you're this hot. Then you're going to just pee all day. Yeah, I think point human on that one, so good job, Omar. Thank you. Forget about that lame-ass robot with his electrolyte potassium jibber-jabber.

Allie, next question. Omar mentioned going to Costco, but we did ask AI, where is the best place if you want free AC? You don't want to pay for air conditioning. feels great but it sucks when you're paying for it at your place so where according to the ai technology should you go if you are looking for basking in the glory of free ac yeah i mean i i hesitate to say costco again but you're right you do have to have a membership so you do have to pay for that if it was just today museums are free on wednesdays and they have great ac and a lot of Museums are free on Wednesdays?

Yeah. Is that like a known thing? Well, maybe. Did you make that up or is that a real thing? I think it's true. You really are El Cheapo. Every Wednesday? I think so.

Like LACMA and MOCA and all those? Every museum is free. LACMA, MOCA, Frappe, all of them. All on Wednesdays. All the museums? I'm pretty sure. No, LACMA is not free on Wednesdays. All right.

It's probably free on Wednesdays. Jake just said it's not. You don't know what you're talking about. museums are free on wednesdays with a valid idea you can visit weekdays after 3 p.m no that's not true ali where did you come up with this i feel like i see it all the time you see it all the time where all right outside the museum this is what the robot said if you're just looking to cool off without spending much go to a public library quiet comfortable free wi-fi restrooms and reliable air conditioning plus you can meet a bum showering in the water fountain

yeah win-win see that's why i didn't say library because the library itself is musty it smells like books yeah and you know the wi-fi yeah but it's old and then you've got anytime you go in the bathroom it's gross in there yeah but clearly the robot gets the point because what you said doesn't even make sense the museums are free on wednesday museums have a similar smell to the i know but it smells but there's bigger spaces and there's not a lot of people in there so you You have a lot of ventilation, and you can walk around in there for hours, and no one would ask any questions. A ton of people rushing there now for the, quote, free museum day that Allie mentioned. The final question goes to Jake.

I believe Robot gets a point on that one. Human's got a point. So, Jake, this comes down to you, man. The future of humanity comes down to this. Everyone likes to talk about how it's so hot you can cook an egg in the street. And today's one of those days that I think you could cook an egg in the street. But other than the boring... Eggs!

Other than... Other than... Other than the boring eggs, but it's something else that you could cook in the street and it would be delicious. We asked the AI technology, but you get to go first. Easy. Grilled mustard sandwich.

You can almost taste the street. So you're saying take your recipe for mustard sandwich. And make it a grilled mustard sandwich? Or any grilled sandwich. Like you just put it on the street is how you do it? Yeah, you use like a flattener and make it like a panini. Yeah, yeah. All right, this is what the robot said.

Cookie dough bakes into a soft cookie over several hours. Street cookies for the win. Yeah, I think you're right. I think the robot got that one. Damn it. Damn it, Jake. Mustard sandwich. Let us down again.

There's a lot of museums that are free on Wednesdays. Name one. The Autry Museum. The Autry Museum? The Natural History Museum of L.A. County. The Plaza Cultura de Artes. I'm just looking it up. There's a lot.

Okay. Just saying. Jake will be posting his recipe for the street mustard sandwich on Instagram if you're interested in making that today. The less stupid thing. Autry Museum is not free. It's the first Wednesday. Okay, shut up! They're free on Wednesday!

Go take a break. If you show up today, you're going to get in. We have news next, and then your Evanescence tickets coming up on KROQ. Hey, Rock. We are Klein Alley Show. We'll get into some ADD news in just a moment, and then we'll make it all worth your while throughout the morning with a variety of gifts, a cavalcade of presents and bribery. But first, Alley, go ahead and accept this.

Do you think this will be a compliment or a complaint about the show? Oh, gosh. It's a real toss-up. I would say let's go with compliments. All right. It is definitely the odds-on not favorite, but Alley says this could be a compliment. Let's find out together. Hey, good morning, guys. Just wanted to give you a quick shout out, say thank you guys for so much for the laughs.

I'm actually kind of been going through some tough times lately, going into my first couples therapy session with my spouse this week. And welcome to our world. Yeah, that happens on a regular basis over here. Slippery slope. We could possibly be heading for a divorce soon. But I just wanted to let you guys know that you guys really have been giving so many laughs towards not just me, but I'm sure so many people. So just thank you guys, all y'all on the show. You guys really know how to, you know, make somebody's day. If they're not having a good day, you guys know how to make their day right. So sweet dips.

Keep doing what you're doing. Love y'all so much. If your life is currently falling apart, then we do seem like a better option than what you are dealing with. And we're happy to be that other option. I can't believe I was right. It was a compliment. I'm still waiting for him to pivot and give us an insult. Oh, I stopped the message 20 seconds short.

But I think he goes on to say Jake's annoying. Oh, wow. Anyway, let's get into this, your news, and then a brand new hour of the show can officially begin. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. One of the coolest people to ever live is Sully Sullenberger. You don't need to do anything the rest of your life because you're the guy that landed a plane on the Hudson River. And I think he did so drunk, did he not?

No, you're getting confused with that movie. What are you talking about? Oh, that was the upside down guy. Allie gets so confused. Oh, my God. Allie, I'm telling you right now, guys, I know that she's about to say that Sully has dementia or whatever. But I think Allie's got it first. No, I just get mixed up.

And she is confusing the Denzel Washington movie with what happened in real life. But that also happened in real life, right? No, that was a movie. I know it was a movie, but wasn't it based on a true story? I don't think so. About a pilot that got drunk and landed a plane upside down? I think so. I don't know about it.

Yeah, Allie is out of her mind. Oh, apparently Sully Sullenberger is as well because he just shared that he has been... It must be contagious and you caught it because Jesus Christ. ...with Alzheimer's disease. He's 75 years old. Alzheimer's, not dementia.

Yeah. I don't know the difference. You got mixed up. What are the two of those? What's the difference between Alzheimer's and dementia? Dementia is basically where you kind of forget where you are. You're confused about your surroundings. Alzheimer's is more forgetting who you are,

stories about your life, people, your family members. They are similar, but Alzheimer's is more memory related. Which one's worse? Look if you had to pick which one you don't want. I've heard dementia is worse just because it affects more things. Sometimes you forget how to

take care of yourself. Going to the bathroom and stuff, you just forget. You just don't know how. Yeah, you just kind of forget everything and Alzheimer's is more like specific memories of your life, the people you know. Like I would look at you and call you maybe my son one day, because I would get

you mixed up with other men in my life. It's like that Men in Black thing, where they zap your memory. Yeah, basically. And then sometimes it comes back. Was that based on a real movie? That was a real movie. With Denzel Washington, as I recall. No, it's not. It's Will Smith. You racist. So he said, for

now, this means, so he's in the early stages, and he said this means a name might come easily to me. Might not come easily to me. I might forget a story I recently told, or I don't sleep as well. Basically, things that happen to everybody. But he said he's still at the beginning of this

long journey, and I just think when it does get bad, there needs to be somebody telling him every day, this is what you did. Like memento. Tattoo it on your chest and say, this is what happened. It's cool when you're a guy like that that did something that's so well-known and heroic because

no one else is going to forget it, so they'll just constantly be like, hey, you're the man. And he'll be like, why is everyone saying I'm the man today? Which is much better than being a person that is a total asshole that has dementia and everyone's like, I hate you. Why does everyone hate me? Or if you get it, I can always tell you every day, like, you landed a plane on the Hudson upside down

drunk. I'm going to make the same announcement that he made because now you guys won't give me such a hard time. I don't remember co-workers' names that work here. You guys made me feel like I'm a total ass because I can't remember. He has early onset Alzheimer's. Yeah, I got it too. He's in the early stages. Which one of us wouldn't like to publicly announce that just so that we don't feel bad every time

we run into someone out in the public and we're like, By the way, it might have a touch of Alzheimer's. We all probably got it. We're getting it. We got it. There are plenty of license plates that are banned every year for being too sexually explicit or inappropriate or suggestive. And rarely does the DMV issue their own inappropriate license plates. But this did just happen to a senior citizen, and she didn't even have to pay extra for it.

This is a pretty great story because it was all natural, and she does want to get rid of it, though I don't think she should. When Nancy D'Alistretto went to collect her mail, she got quite the surprise, a new license plate with her vehicle registration renewal. And I looked at it, and I said, I don't think so. The plate reads SQZ A55, but from a distance, those five fives can be read as S's. Well, you get the picture. Now, hold on, let me do some math here. I gotta solve this. Is it squeeze ass? It's squeeze ass. Squeeze ass?

Oh, man. Squeeze blank. Awesome. Okay. I don't think a woman that lives in a senior community that's going to be 77 years old next month will be driving around with what this plate has to say. The plates become the talk around her retirement community, especially the men. Watch out, squeeze ass. Get over here, sweet James.

It's going to be great. She can't send it back, right? No, you got to keep it. You got to keep it. It's the greatest license plate since Ass Man on Seinfeld. And this is the DMV issuing it. I know. How great is that?

Had you requested that, like when Jake got his OK list, they would have rejected it. Because they reject anything that even looks a little bit offensive. Yeah, exactly. Squeeze ass. That's awesome. Are they still made by prisoners, license plates? Yeah. That's not happening.

That's a prisoner with a funny sense of humor. Wait, so they don't make it up, though. They just give them the letters and numbers, right? I think they get to make them up. They don't just make it up. Yeah, they do. I'm going to do squeeze ass, and I'll give it to this woman in a senior system. Let me tell you something.

You know how I said you always got to have a prison skill on the ready in case you get locked up? Funny license plates. That would be mine. I would be that guy. Come over here. I got a bunch of funny ways. We can't shank that guy. He's the squeeze ass guy.

That's okay. Give him the squeeze ass. The World Cup has affected our wallets. It's affected our productivity, but how has it affected our dating lives? Apparently a lot. Not only do they predict a World Cup baby boom nine months from now, But also, and it's because of all the international hookups, it's also happening during those three-minute hydration breaks. That is the main motivator for people.

They have noticed that the Tinder and Hinge activity during those three-minute hydration breaks skyrockets as much as 55%. So, yes, it's good for the players to get a little juice, but it's also nice for people who have three minutes to just take a little swipey-swipe. And apparently that's causing more hookups. Yeah, and imagine now that Spain has made it to the finals. I mean, there's going to be a lot of them Spanish babies running around. The French ones, not so much. I feel like that didn't go so well yesterday. And a lot of people I know, especially people that were rooting hard, are very depressed right now.

Seeing French people sad and crying really hit me more than I'd like. There was a little French girl crying, and I was like, oh, it's like Les Mis. Yeah, there's something about it. I don't know why. There's other countries. It's like, zap, le bleu. But, oh, well, we move on, and we'll forget about this whole thing in a couple of days anyway, right? Oh, yeah, we won't care.

Get into a brand-new hour of the show. We do it next. It's Klein Alley Show. Good morning. This is the world-famous K-Rock. Oh, yeah, good morning. It is just after 10 o'clock. It is still summer, and we are Klein Alley Show.

We will get into a petty claims court battle happening this hour. Relationship. I'm not even sure if they're dating or married or related, but it has something to do with, listen to this, It's a very relatable concept, and they've turned to Petty Claims Court. They take pictures, and one of them will post the pictures regardless of how bad the other one looks because if they like the way they look, there's no clearance of what's approved for posting. Johnny does this. Well, Johnny does it all.

Johnny takes pictures where we all look bad, and he just goes— No, I just take photos like you guys ask, and you guys just happen to look like that. Right. He says that's how we look, and I said, dude, there's other angles. But also, Johnny's not a miracle worker, man. He's just working with what he got. Yeah, just a boy. I understand.

I know he can't. Certain things he could do, though, to improve. And everyone knows this. If you're not good looking, you know there are little tricks you can do to try to be better looking. I've oftentimes said you take enough pictures of a pile of dog crap, one of them will look like a brownie. Yeah, but I mean, even just saying, hey, by the way, you're pretending to put your hand in your pocket, but your hand's really over your pocket. It looks really awkward. Where it looks weird.

But, like, there's... Like, he can tell us that, and then we can fix it. And also, there are filters. There are certain things. I know it's not going to fix a lot, but you could... There's just angles and filters could do a little bit. No filter, dude. No filter.

Yeah, nobody uses filters anymore. Yeah, but... Bro. Filters are cringe, bro. Dude, isn't there that filter where you can make your camera look like it's, like, a three megapixel? There's, like, one where you scroll a little bit to the left on Instagram. Yeah, that little VHS camcorder filter. Yeah.

Yeah, that's the one for us. Okay, I can use that. Yeah, remove all the... There's too many pixels. Just draw stick figures. So this couple's battling it out because one of them looks good in the pictures. They post it. The other one's not happy about it.

Anyway, they're going to turn to Petty Claims Court to solve this once and for all. And you'll get to go ahead and be a jury of their peers. So for whatever reason you need the day off of work today, just claim that you have unexpected jury duty. That'll be coming up later this hour on the show. And we've got these Evanescence tickets, which we must give you. We've been dangling them in front of you all show long. But that show's on Saturday, the Kia Forum. So be ready to claim those tickets from us coming up this hour.

Your Klein Alley Show, some controversy happening in Southern California, which we will get into in just a moment. But first, hello, K-Rock. Good morning. I'm going to make a bet for the World Cup game today. It's Argentina versus England. I was wondering who you think is going to win. Well, I've been wrong on every prediction I've made so far. So I would go with the exact opposite of what I tell you right now. Okay.

I believe, based on some inside information that I've received, that England will win the game today. Okay. And it will be an England-Spain World Cup Finals. Okay. I don't believe that Messi is going to get any, and it's hard for me to say that because I look like the guy, but... Any goals? I don't think he's getting any goals today. Zero.

He's going to be shut out. Okay. So take... Do you think Argentina's going to get any goals? Argentina will score. Our final score will be 2-1. Okay. All right.

Thank you. You're welcome. Enjoy. Bye. Anytime we can play this Vuvuzela, it's worth it, I think. This sounds like a swarm of bees. That's right. Footballers love this thing.

Get out of here. That's how I see the game going today. But once again, I think I've been wrong on every single thing. I think we both said that France was going to win yesterday. I was pretty sure about that. Pretty confident about that. So there you have it. Listen to this.

This may be affecting you if you live in parts of Southern California. The neighborhood is up in arms for this reason. This trailer advertising what it calls adult fun and adult hookups is now parked at Cherry and Del Amo Boulevard. We're blurring the website address. So this is a hookup trailer that has shown up in Long Beach, and they keep towing it away, but it keeps coming back. And this is just another way to have a funner summer,

and people are up in arms about it. I'm upset about it because at first it appears that you could, I thought it was a hookup trailer as in... Go in here and hook up. You could go in the trailer and hook up if you needed a place. That's what I thought too. You don't have hotel or motel money, but you've got side of the road trailer money. Maybe that's a good place for you to hook up. Apparently, they're just using the trailer to advertise a site for hookups.

But that's not the only place we saw these ads in Long Beach. We also found these two vans parked a mile away. People are calling, people are placing things on social media, and just making it clear that, you know, they do not want this in their neighborhood. She says it's already been towed on several occasions, but it keeps coming back. I love that there's dedication there. I lived on a street. This is the right area for us. A few years ago, I lived on a street that had, at the end of the street, one of those topless maids vans.

You can tell what neighborhood you're living in by the type of vans you see. Yeah, and I remember there was a neighbor that was very upset about it and wanted everyone to sign up for some sort of something or other to get the van moved. And I said, I don't have a problem with that at all. So the topless maid people lived there, and that's just where they used to be all over? No, I don't think they lived there. I think they just parked the van there, and then you could have someone come and clean your place. I think I had a buddy one time who his punishment for fantasy football

is that he had to hire three of the topless maids to come but then had to leave the home while they cleaned. Oh. Which I thought was hilarious. Yeah, that's great. Because they probably weren't going to do a good job cleaning and he missed the toplessness. And he had to pay for it.

So he just had to know that topless girls cleaned his place. Yeah, he had to have that weird conversation to be like, I need three topless maids, but then he immediately left. God, that is such a weird service. There's just going to be some creep in the house watching you clean their house while you're topless? Is that even a business anymore? I haven't seen those vans in forever.

Yeah, I remember there used to be one on this. I feel like this is the evolution of the topless maid van. Yeah, they're all by my grandma's house in Pacoima. They're like pink vans on the side of the road. They're still there? They're still active, too. Topless grandmas I would do because I know they would be able to clean properly. What is the cost of a topless maid?

Is it more than an actual maid? The van by my grandma's house said $60. $60? It's got to be $60 an hour. That's an amazing price for a mate. Are they any good at actual cleaning or no? I only think my cousins prank called them one time, but I don't know. We should have them come clean the studio.

Oh, dude, that one studio that Muggs used to work out of needs a thorough cleaning. Thorough cleaning. That one is disgusting. But I don't even care if they can leave their tops on for $60. No, no, no, no. No, no, no. What are you doing? Yeah, tops off, man.

No, it seems like $6,000. I want bottoms only. Okay. All right, Allie, you can make the call. Find the number. Allie will negotiate this for us. I want Donald Duck Maids. That's a good one.

That's what I'm going to start with. Put that on a ban. Put that on a ban. I want like a parka and just nothing underneath it. Nothing down below? Well, this website, they blurred it out in the news report, but it's called Pinky's Girls. And it's just, you say where you're from, what city you're from, and then you just say who you are, and then you get a hookup. I bet, Jake, you could have some success on this website.

So I don't understand. Is this prostitution? What do you mean? It just says adult fun, adult hookups. I think it's just basically like glorified Craigslist. You just say where you are, say who you want to sleep with. Here, I get to pick. Male looking for female, male looking for male.

So I guess the advertising is working because now it obviously made the news and then the neighbors are all upset about it. But I'm sure most people just drove by and didn't pay much attention to it. And now it's probably getting a lot of buzz. Yeah. Pigs Hot Dogs is called? I know that place. So I picked an L.A. area, female looking for female,

and it said there's no one available in your area. Oh, man. You got jaked. You got jaked hard. I hit the maximum amount of swipes already. Already. You got jaked. But it said there are no entertainers available in this area today,

which makes me feel like it is a page. Like you actually have to buy some kind of experience. To me, the truck looked like they were advertising for strippers. Oh, is that what it is? To me, that's what it looked like. But if it's a hookup, it's not a stripper. Jason, hi. Good morning, Jason.

Yeah. Good morning, guys. Allie, how are you today? I'm good. We got you. This guy's going to come and clean bottomers for you, Allie. All right. Ready?

Yeah, what's up, Jason? I live right off of Cherry and Delamo. That truck, those vans, that trailer have been there for probably three and a half years, four years total. They come and go on a regular basis because Long Beach has a 72-hour parking limit, and the cops chalk the tires and if they don't move they get towed so what is it that is actually promoting or you don't know you just know because you've seen the truck no no i went to the website to preview for a friend oh no no i am a customer all right yeah why they keep moving the van back

yeah jason and uh what did you find uh it's uh escort services of all shapes sizes desires durations, and price points. And does your friend partake in this? Not yet. Is he planning on doing this later today? And is his name Jason? High probability. Okay.

Thank you, Jason. Thank you for that. That sounds like a good friend of yours. All right. Well, we got to the bottom of that. It's great that it's not parked on Cherry Street. Another mystery solved here at the Klein Alley Show. So I wonder, I guess, I mean, I know that our company doesn't want to spend a dollar

to promote our show, which would be very helpful and great, but couldn't we just go park a van somewhere? Can't we just be an annoying van? Promote ourselves as like a topless morning show? I feel like you put the word topless, all of a sudden it gets buzzy and the neighbors hate it. Right. Or we could just put up naked images of ourselves.

Oh, God. We used to do that on my car. Yeah, we did that on Jake's car. And he got broken up with immediately. Yeah, he got kicked out of the house. His girlfriend left him, yes. His life fell apart after that. When we get back, we have a couple that needs our help.

Petty Claims Court, you're a jury. We need your input on a case about people that are posting ugly photos of other people where they look good. There's a real problem with that. It should be illegal, and we'll get to the bottom of that next. Man, every time in a relationship, at some point, you will get into a discussion about something, a disagreement perhaps. It could be something small. It could be something petty. but if not resolved at this stage it will evolve over time and become the very thing that could

tear apart the foundation of your relationship and maybe it started because of uh you know the cap on the toothpaste or leaving your shoes out and then slowly the person just decided to start hating you years became decades of hate resentment and then you're in therapy so let's avoid all that by getting to the bottom of it during petty claims court yeah we are in the middle of one of our um common arguments that happens at the end of every vacation which is how long it takes katie to get through her suitcase oh yeah still on the ground open and on the ground and it always changes location but it's always in a high traffic area it's always right in a doorway right in a hallway right in an area where i'm going to trip over it but never fully unpacked maybe she's trying to

take care of the pregnancy you know what i'm saying why is this giant suitcase at the base of the stairs hey alan come here quick with your eyes closed i've got a secret you don't think that's it? No, I don't think so. What is the time frame that she's given you before she will fully unpack? You know, I think that by the end of the week she's got to have it done. That's a full week

of being back. I was in Newport for that hawk thing and I brought three days worth of stuff, even though I was only there for two days. And I have yet to unpack. Really? Yeah. Don't you need stuff in there? That's what I don't understand. I live out of the bag. I immediately get

everything. I live out of the bag. Oh, I hate rummaging through a bag. I love living out of a bag. Are you one of those weirdos that gets into a hotel and puts stuff in the drawers? Yep, I don't like rummaging through my suitcase. The only time I've ever opened a dresser at a hotel, ever, is if I needed to rip a page out of the Bible to smoke

a joint. It's the only time I've ever opened a drawer. I put my underwear and my socks in the front. You do all of that? Oh, yeah. You are. I hang out my things because I don't want my stuff wrinkled. If you are currently with someone that does what Allie does, you are dating a sociopath. I'm just saying.

They've got that little folding thing. You put your luggage on top of the folding thing, you'll live out of the luggage for a couple of days. I don't like rummaging. No, no, but it's over three days. Like four days plus, you do what Allie does. Less than four days, you do what Klein does, in my opinion. Four days is the cutoff before you move into the dressers? I think so, yeah.

If you're only going to stay there three days, there's no reason to put your stuff away. If it's over three days, you've got to put your stuff away. One to two days. Like one, maybe two. But if it's anything more than that, yeah, just take it out. It takes five minutes. You only wear, like, one thing. It's one day.

It seems like such an unnecessary step. There's something fun about living out of a suitcase. You're like a... No, everything's wrinkled. And then I'm like, where's that shirt that I brought? What did I bring? Like a hobo. You have to live life like a hobo.

I don't want to live the hobo life. Yeah, all right. I want to pretend like it's my little house. I paid for it. It's time for Petty Claims Court. In the legal system, cases are tried from Supreme Courts to Small Claims Court. But what about stuff that's too small for small claims court? This is Petty Claims Court.

The gavel of justice has been brought into the KROQ studios. Let's meet this couple. Apparently they're not dating. They are related. Interesting. Hot. Hot. Says Hallie.

Let's say hi to Neil, who's putting in the claim against his older sister. Good morning to Neil and welcome to KROQ. Hi, Neil. Hey, good morning. guys, what's up? What's going on? What is the deal with your sister that you've needed to turn to Petty Claims Court? So, my sister,

she's been posting several photos of me on her very, very public social media, and she's not asking me for any kind of approval beforehand. And, yeah, I got issues with it. What are the pictures of? Like, pictures where you're

like, group pictures where you just look bad, because, well, like, you're a family pictures and she looks good and you look bad that's exactly it they're usually group pictures family pictures at an event or something and she looks great you look fantastic but you know i look horrible and i don't want people to be seeing this uh this version of me does she tag you in them she does sometimes um i do remove them if i don't like them but uh but yeah she will tag me what would happen neil if you were to post a picture where you look good but she did not look good Would that be, would she be like, that's an immediate takedown?

Would she be mad at you? Because I feel like for the people that do this a lot, they're usually the ones that are the most sensitive to when they don't look good and someone else posts them. They hate that. Yeah, I mean, I respect people's privacy. I would ask her before, but I do think she would have a problem. She would have a problem if I were to post it without her consent. And I guess the reality here is no one's probably looking at you anyway, no offense, but that's just the reality, right? Like, I always think about that when my wife posts a picture and she looks good and I look like a monster.

And then I think to myself, what's it matter? No one's looking. I'm completely, I might as well not even be in the picture. Yeah, but you also do weird stuff in pictures, so you are kind of a distraction sometimes. Thank you, Allie, for saying that. How'd that monster get that woman? Makes me feel great. That's the final scene from King Kong.

Hey, Nicole, you're on K-Rock. Good morning. Good morning. Your brother is accusing you of putting no thought, effort, or asking for any permission before you publicly post pictures where he says he looks, quote, terrible. I mean, like, I feel like that's so, like, I don't know, up to interpretation. Anybody looks particularly bad, I wouldn't post a photo where I look bad in, but I think, like, I try and pick the photos where people look decent. Although I do think, like, there are some times where maybe, like, there's some situations where it's not the best, but then again, it's like, are you Brad Pitt? Like, why do I have to ask?

So, in your opinion, these are pictures where he looks good? Or, like, maybe not, like, he doesn't look like a supermodel, but, like, he doesn't look horrible. And, Neil, are you concerned about this because your sister has, like, hot friends, and you want her hot friends to think that you are attractive, or is that playing to this at all, or not really? For sure. For sure. You know, I'm worried about her hot friends seeing it. You know, people that I haven't seen in years, maybe they come across the social media posts, and they think, wow, you know, Nicole looks great, but the brother really let himself go or, you know, that kind of thing.

How would you rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10? Do you think you're an attractive guy? No, I would give myself like a 5, but if the angle's right, maybe like a 6. See, this is the thing guys like me and Neil understand, is that you can get a few points in your column with, if things go, you could, if you're a 5, you could buy a photo, go down to a 3, which is not a fun place to be, but you could go up to like as high as a six and a half maybe even a seven which makes you

presentable to human consumption yeah but you also have to be a little bit honored that she doesn't just crop you out of the photo you know i mean at least she thinks you're worthy of being in the photo yeah i mean i guess i guess would you and nicole would you say in the pictures you're posting this are these are ones where you feel great about yourself and though i mean that's the when you're looking at a group picture you look everyone looks at themselves first right you look at yourself first for sure yeah no i definitely i'm not going to be posting a photo where I look like a three. I mean, I'll tell you that much.

But I feel like I try and, like, make a consensus where it's like, okay, maybe there's one that I look better in, but someone else looks, like, really, really bad. But there was one, actually, that I'm thinking about, and now there was actually one where, like, my brother's eyes were closed, and I posted it anyway. So that, like, probably was not the best move. Yeah, and I will say it is tough in a group photo

to find one where everyone looks good. There's always one person with their eyes closed, and you just have to pick. I guess everyone else looks better. We did family pictures a few years ago, never going to do it again, and I think the only one we agreed on, they had to Photoshop a bunch of our faces from other pictures into one picture, where they could even make all four of us look presentable in one picture. I've never seen any of those pictures. I don't think any of them have been shared with the public, because they were so weird, but I'm just saying, and we took, probably we took 100, 200 pictures, and of the 200 pictures of four people, they could not find one where all of us looked decent in the same one, so they had to take heads and chop them and put them in other pictures. Same with the show pictures.

Oh, yeah. Around here. I mean, forget it. Yeah, they're weird looking. So, but the issue is, he says he would always ask for permission. He will text you pictures. Is that true? That he will, your brother will text you pictures and say, hey, are you cool if I post this? Well, like, he never posts photos of me, so I can't, like, confirm or deny, because he doesn't really use social media, so he never really, like, uploads them of me. It's usually, like, something else.

If you don't use social media, then why do you care? because you know i know a lot of people do use it and and really i'm worried about about like people that i know that i haven't seen in a long time you know family friends that's what i'm worried about and they're like wow he really let himself go a18 says uh a18 says neil just shouldn't pose for pictures i've um i've cut it off i just don't want to be i i was in a similar situation i didn't want to be in people's pictures that they posted so i just i decided to be the person taking the pictures instead of being on the picture yeah that's a decision you could make Some people are takers and some people are pleasers.

As a couple of takers here, Allie and I are pushing a lot of buttons. And you could be, maybe that's, you've got to move to the other side of the lens, my friend. Yeah. I think so. I think that sounds like an idea right there, yeah. But I also think that in general, I know in this particular case it's a brother-sister, but you think about any group of friends, a group of girls goes on a bachelorette party to Vegas or whatever, or Austin, wherever they go now, and they all take pictures together.

And inevitably someone's going to think they look great in that picture and be like, We've got to post it. And other people are going to be like, this is the worst angle. My arm looks fat or whatever. Oh, I've heard girls get into screaming matches over this kind of thing. Yeah, it's a real thing. And I think there needs to be some sort of an anonymous voting system and a group picture. An app where a picture can get posted, the group can vote anonymously.

And if more than, you know, if there's seven people in the picture, four wins. Nobody would ever get approved. Probably not. No photo would ever go up. Probably not. It would be great. Everyone would hate every photo. All right, 10 seconds, closing arguments, and the jury will vote.

Neil, if you're just joining us, is accusing his sister of posing pictures where she looks good and he looks bad, saying that he has no chance with her friends. Do you think, before you get to the final 10 seconds, Nicole, do you think your brother has any chance with your friends anyway? My friends are a little bit older, so if he's into that, maybe, sure. I'm into it. Okay. Let me answer that for you. Yes.

All right, 10 seconds, closing arguments. Nicole, you get to go first. Go ahead. So for me, it's just like they're all photos are like moments. Right. So I want to keep track of these beautiful moments. And I feel like my brother is not like a super famous person that lives off his image. So, like, why should I really care too much whether or not he looks amazing or not? Time well spent. Neil, go ahead. Ten seconds to try to get the jury on your side.

I mean, I know you're very public with your life on social media. That's fine. You do you. But if you're going to post a picture of me, I'm much more private. just ask for consent ask for permission before and and yeah that's all i'm asking time's up vote now 800-520-1067 are you voting for neil you're voting for nicole the verdict will be read next and then we still have those evanescence tickets to give you before we get out of here and that'll be in about 20 minutes or less on k-rock k-rock karen alley show let's get into it time for the verdict alley's adding up votes as we speak on the text line 800-520-1067 well over 100 usually determines who wins and who loses also a lot of thoughts coming through on the chat on youtube

right now if you're just joining us in case between neil nicole they are related brother siblings she's the older sister he's the younger brother she posts whatever picture she looks good in no matter if his eyes are closed or he looks terrible um let's get some thoughts from the people voting right now before ali reads the verdict and neil and nicole will accept the final ruling adam what are your thoughts on this one yeah hey my i'm with neil like i think it's rude that she post pictures of him uh that he doesn't approve of but he should be looking at the picture right after it's taken i see what you're saying look immediately don't wait till then let's look at it delete or take another one must approve all photos at the site of the photos

not after the fact some people hand your phone they go i took a bunch of them they go sideways they go up and down they give you three or four they gave you some options and people will inspect the photos right away to make sure and if you've been given 20 options and none of them are good You just must accept the fact you're ugly. Ruben, your thoughts on this? Yeah, I think that the brother is maybe in the right, you know? I think that, like, if he has a wish or, like, a... I don't think guys should care as much as women.

I know it should sound sexist. I'm going to finish this guy's thought because he couldn't. At least he's passionate. That's all that matters. Thank you for calling. You know, you didn't have to call. You chose to. If you didn't care, then just don't call us.

There's plenty of people that are not calling right now, and that's fine. That are just indifferent about this whole argument. I do think that, and this is what always ends up happening, at least with my wife and I, but if there's a picture and I go, ugh, I don't look great. She goes, do you really care? And I go, you're right. What do I care? Oh, really?

What do I care? What am I going to do? This is the face I got. That's her manipulation tactic, though, because she likes how she looks. Right, but I don't care and she does. So if she cares and I don't, and it should be the person that cares more. In this case, I would think the sister would care more than the brother. Usually it sounds sexist, but let's be honest, Allie, that's the reality of the situation for the most part.

Yeah, A18 said, I vote for Neil because social media posts are not your memories there for the public. Your memories are for you and your phone, and it's not necessarily Neil's opinion, you know, to use those and share those with everybody. Somebody else said they're going to vote with Neil just because he's trying to bang Nicole's friends, and he should be able to. Meanwhile, 626 said, I vote for Nicole because with Neal, you get what you get and you don't get upset. If you weren't dealt the right cards, then that's your problem. Always a good argument right there. We give Zeke the final word, as we always do during these petty claims courts. Zeke, go ahead.

You are an expert on all relationships, but how about the brother-sister battle over which pictures get uploaded? Check this out, man. All I got to say is, he tripping. He's not my boy. You know, it's not his sister's fault that the man probably looks ugly. He isn't secure with the way he looks. That's crazy. Like, you know, I'll be happy if I had all this picture and she's posting me on her Instagram.

You already know I'm getting all her homegirls. You know what I'm saying? Because I already know I got it like that. But he must not have it like that. So I'm sorry to tell you, buddy, you should not even be around when the pictures are being taken. Go around the corner or something. All right. I don't know what he said at all.

You shouldn't even be there. He said go around the corner. There's been a lot of conversation about pictures and memories. And in case Zeke was too urban for you, we will white up the show right now with some Maroon 5 singing about memories, Sally. I think that's important. Okay. What? What are we doing?

And that's enough of that. We say hi now to Neal and Nicole for the final verdict. The final reading of Petty Claims Court is going to come to an end. Thank you for all of the input. Go ahead. Allie's going to read the verdict. Neal, Nicole, you understand verdict's here final, right? Yes, sir.

Okay. Well, it did start very heavily in Neal's court with 85% of the vote. Now, there have been a lot of votes that just came in in the last few minutes, and it did sway things a bit. With 67% of the vote, Neal still wins this edition of Petty Claims Court. I know there are a lot of opinions about this, but I think people are rooting for you to sleep with one of Nicole's friends. We do have someone who texted who claims that I hear this case happening right now. I'm one of Nicole's friends, and Neil does not have a chance with any of us. Oh.

What about me? Nope. Are you single, Nicole? I am single, yeah. Would you like to be one of the first person to receive a I've never had intercourse with Jake T-shirt? Intimate. Excuse me, I've never been intimate with Jake T-shirt. I'll take it.

I'll take it. Great, you get one. You get one of those shirts. Amazing. And then post a photo in it. Yeah, post a photo. I would love to. And Neil can take that picture.

That's memories. Another problem solved. Get permission before you post. All right, let's do takeaways from today's show. And if you'd like to go see Evanescence and you put up with us this morning, it's the very least we can do is get you to the forum on Saturday for some Evanescence. So thank you for letting us dangle these tickets in front of you for the entire last four and a half hours. Plus, call right now and claim them at 800-520-1067.

If you are free on Saturday or would like better plans than the ones you currently have, you can go see Evanescence at the Kia Forum. Allie, what do we got for takeaways? Okay, let's see. 213, my takeaway is Klein's circadian rhythm is off. It's all messed up, man. 650, libraries smell like books. Ugh, the worst.

818, Klein's got an HVAC guy. I used to have a drug guy. The drug guy apparently evolved his life, and now he told me to stay blessed, and now he works in HVAC repair. Somebody else on the text line said we must have had the same guy because my drug dealer also went into HVAC. It's so annoying. What a career, Pivot. There's so many more drug needs I have than HVAC needs. 510, my takeaway is museums are free on Wednesdays.

Thanks, Allie. Yep. 323, a roach racing is coming to Klein's neck. 818, according to Scientents, Allie's water is not going to kill her baby. 310, Allie's wife has had sex with everybody. And 562, Mario Lopez is Klein's hall pass. That was my hall pass. Johnny, are you taking these calls?

Oh, you are? Okay, good. Just making sure. Someone's answering the calls for the winner. We've got to get Caller 20 on the air in a second. Was someone answering? I don't know, because Vanessa had to run down the hall for something. So I need to make sure Johnny's counting to 20.

I don't know if Johnny can count to 20. Someone help Johnny back there. 626, so my takeaway is tap. Tap. That's a good takeaway. Not a great joke, though, Jake, but good takeaway. What's your takeaway from today's show, Allie? My takeaway is Jake's best thing going for him is that he's from Burbank.

That's got that going. You can leave that right on your dating profile. And he's speaking. Speak English, kind of. Omar, takeaway? Hey, Mario Lopez, you're my hall pass. Nice. Great.

I'm glad we have that. Why is that so clear? Why did no one over talk that? It's so annoying. I missed a genuine one. Jake, you have a takeaway? Yeah, don't drink the lettuce water. Don't drink the lettuce water.

That'll give you the runs. What's his name? Johnny, you got a takeaway? I know you're busy taking the calls right now. No. All right. He's too busy. He can't do two things at once.

No, it's great. His head looks like he's exploding right now. I do have a takeaway. Oh, go ahead. cool all right great i'm glad we went to you wait let me say where'd you go dude take away part of your brain my list because i wrote down like five of them and that was my best one we already said that all right uh hey congratulations call it 20 uh roy you're the 20th caller good for you all right you're gonna go you're gonna go see uh evanescence

all right all right all right great this really fizzled out man we should have ended the show about three minutes ago wasn't a decent show uh apologies for everything that happened between then and now uh hold on roy uh we'll give you the tickets apparently we're not good at do a show and vanessa's not here we're not good at do a show no we're not goodbye let's go no need to clap but i will for us this episode of klein alley show has officially come to an end and now it's a good opportunity for us to shill all of our things for the next 30 seconds so you realize that this really is a business and we're not actually friends if you've ever wanted to see what we look like i question your decisions but we are available for your viewing pleasure at k-rocks

youtube and we even hired a guy to run the youtube live stream so for the sake of justin's job you should watch it yeah if justin gets fired and by the way he's a ginger so i think it's racist if you fire him regardless check out our show it's on youtube every single morning you can watch us live of course we love it when you listen on the radio like the good lord intended but also watch the youtube after the fact you can also follow along on the socials klein alley show there's so many ways for you to get involved and do your little part to help us to hashtag grow the show if you've ever wanted to see what jake's nerd hole looks like or the way johnny thinks during johnny doesn't know or simply the way that klein looks disgusted when i tell him a sexy story about

myself it's all available on the live stream see you can see what that looks like all right you Can stop. Don't die. Open them to dies.