Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 1- A Kidney for Blind Charlie, Klein Goes to Old Navy and MORE

Episode Date: August 12, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you got to go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. What's going on, Klein Alley?

Are you ready? Hello, Klein Alley, you little bitch. Klein Alley, it's just okay. Just don't let things bother you too much. Good morning, everybody. Hey, what up, Klein Alley? Whoa, sweet divot steak, did you see that? Meet the Klein Alley Show.

Let's get the show started. The show started. The show started. We are live in Los Angeles. Three, two, one. And here we go. It's Klein Alley Show. Low 6.7.

KROQFM and HD Pasadena. Los Angeles. Orange County. The Sonic Pulse of Los Angeles. This is the world famous KROQFM. Welcome to your Wednesday. And for those of you that go to the LAUSD, D, welcome back to school.

First day. People freaking the F out. I get it. Was it chaos at your house? The chaos began yesterday. I had a terrible experience that took place at a store because I was apparently tasked with trying to help get my daughter's, quote, back to school outfits, which...

Why were you in charge of that? Your wife is the one who knows about fashion. I mean, it makes no sense. From the very beginning, I said, I'm being set up for failure here. She's literally a stylist. That's what she does. And she sends me, the guy that wears the same white t-shirt every goddamn day here, to go find the kids an outfit to wear to school.

But I think because she knew it was going to be chaos and didn't want to be a part of it. Oh, so she just wants you to be a part of the craziness. Yeah, I'll tell you one thing. There's probably one store in the mall that I am never allowed back into. I'll put it that way. Get into that a little bit later this morning. So hopefully you're having a great start to the brand new school year. We will celebrate with you today by giving you all sorts of things like tickets, tickets, tickets.

We've got four packs to the thrill capital of the world. We're talking about Six Flags Magic Mountain. And once again, I said Six Flags. Very different than what Ali said yesterday. So because my personal schedule changed, I haven't been able to listen to the show for about three months. And today I finally get to listen to the show again. And one of the first things I hear is Ali yelling the F-sword really loudly

during the tribute to Jackie the bald eagle. So it's nice to know that you guys haven't changed a bit. Thank you. Same mediocre show that you heard three months ago, sir. Just with Allie getting a little edgier, throwing out the F word. Nothing's changed. Nothing's changed. So you never know what's going to happen.

It's a live and unpredictable show. We have a plan. At least we think we do. And that will probably change multiple times during the show today. Especially because Jake overslept this morning. Something that he claims he's never done. Yeah, I still beat you. Because he, quote, accidentally.

Jake, I don't want to get into this because I'm here hours after you on a daily basis. Hours. What are you talking about? Most days I'm here hours after you leave. Actually, I think half the time I'm here later than you. Oh, my God. Do you clock your hours, Jake? Even today, I've got plenty of times I get done.

I get out of the nerd hole and everybody's gone. No one says bye or anything. On Fridays, yes, we do like to scurry out of here. We're actually still here in a different part of the building. Yeah, we probably are in a different part of the building. I mean, today I got like three meetings I have to go to after the show. You're not in any of those meetings. Three of them.

Oh, man, sucks to suck. So Jake overslept today and then Omar is not feeling well. He's got a tummy ache. No, I actually don't know what's wrong with him. But he said yesterday he started, either he's slow. He said Monday he was feeling bad. He started feeling bad. So we got no audio sniper today.

So today is the day the arbiter of audio will be stepping up in the role of audio sniper. So it's like when you go to one of those Broadway shows, Allie, and they go, the person you actually wanted to see is not here today. So here's the understudy that's going to step in. And you're like, oh, man. I can say that I'm upset when that happens. However, I have lived my life as the understudy. So I have to be happy for that person.

So get ready for some JV Squad action today right here on KROQ. We'll try to make it worth your while. And if you need to interact with us or you want to join us for whatever the hell it is we got going on, you can use the phones, the text line 800-520-1067 to call and to interact with the show today. We have for you the Wheel of Reveal coming up a little bit later as we will help Allie figure out how she will reveal the gender of the baby that is currently growing inside of her. There's just too many options out there. Too many, and a lot of them end up with tragic stories on the evening news.

Wildfire started because some family wanted to do a gender reveal. Yeah, we talked to the woman who created the gender reveal, said, I wish I could go back and not invent this. Yeah, she feels like it was one of those Baby Hiller situations where she wishes someone had killed her as a baby, so she never popularized the gender reveal. It's gotten out of control, she said. I don't know if she said that. She was implying it, Allie. She was implying it.

She was Baby Hiller. We'll get into that coming up a little bit later today and so much more. Thank you for starting your school year with us and or your Wednesday morning on KROQ. Hey, Rob. We are Klein Alley Show. We love to give you stuff. It's the only reason we're really here, Alley. We're just kind of like drug dealers with prizes and tickets to give you a little taste

and then dangle that carrot in front of you and hope we keep you along and maybe you get addicted over the course of a few hours, a few days, then you're sitting here listening to the show three years later going, what the hell happened in my life? I know. We're just supposed to give you stuff and look good doing it, and we can't even do that. No, but we do have Alley's money, and yesterday she did pay the people, so I'd love this to turn into a giant losing streak. I've been on a bad streak, though.

Last week I lost. This week I lost. Yeah, but it hasn't been one of those ones where you've lost consecutive days in a while. And that always makes me super happy because you get mad and grumpy and it's all fun for us. So if you'd like to take Allie's money and you know a little bit about what's happening in the world or you want to learn about the news, you can go ahead and give us a call at 800-520-1067. I did promise that every time Vanessa and Johnny found a contestant that beat Allie, I would sweeten the deal for them as well.

So now I owe Johnny and Vanessa breakfast today as well. So, you guys. Is that real? Are you really going to get us breakfast? You cannot promise me this because I'm starving. Yeah, man. I would like a bagel. Can we get smoothies from Earth Bar?

Oh, my God. Everyone just relax for a second. Wait, I would like one as well. I want a corn dog. You can have. She wants a corn dog. It's not breakfast, Jake. Bagel sandwich.

You guys can have your breakfast because I did say if you find a contestant that is strong enough to take Allie's money, then it makes it a much more interesting segment for the listener. So, rather than find these brain-dead idiots that call and you put them through and I say, hey, who's the president of the United States? And they go, ah, ah, ah, ah. I mean, that's kind of right. Well, you know what? Give them the point.

If you would like to play and win Allie's money, you can call now, 800-520-1067. And if you continue to beat Allie, it's good news for you, of course, you get her money, but it's good news for Johnny and Vanessa because they're going to get double breakfast. Is this good incentive for you guys, knowing that this is happening now?

If this actually happens, yeah. Yeah, I'm telling you, it's happening. Find your breakfast. I just, like, I won't believe it until I say it in my head. Come in during the break now. We'll order the breakfast. You earned it yesterday because the person beat Allie. And they beat her good.

Yeah, everybody that's smart, like, please call. Like, please don't be, like, dead or half asleep. Like, and we get in trouble when we put them on the air. All right, we got it. We got it. Yeah, only smarties call, dude. All right, all right. Okay.

Suddenly you care. Does everybody get breakfast? No, no, no. You get nothing. Hey, I just wanted to, before we get into that, Allie, I just wanted to play this because I think this is a great way for everyone to feel good about themselves and about the world. This is something that we've been trying to make happen for a while now, and I think that we have finally done something for society that is a good thing.

So you can say all the bad things we've done, and there's plenty of complaint calls here. Listen to this. Hi, hello. I was trying to get a hold of Vanessa. I've been interactive on the show for many years. So summing up, basically, I know you guys don't like long messages. Too late. It's getting a little long here.

Jesus, get to it. I want to contribute to help Blind Charlie to, like, donate a kidney. This woman. I think she's on the verge of death already. I don't think you got it. This woman has a kidney, she claims, and she would like to give it to Blind Charlie. Now, Blind Charlie is in desperate need of a kidney. He's been on that list for a while.

Guy's all messed up. He did it to himself because of video games, Mountain Dew, and Taco Bell. But he's changed his life since then. He deserves it. He's changed his life, and he's dedicated a lot of his time to spreading the word about our show. And now he needs a kidney. And he says as soon as he gets a working kidney, he's going to walk across the country, a blind man, going coast to coast, promoting our show the entire way, which would be an amazing thing to have happen. And the one thing standing between him and this journey is a working kidney.

I mean, he would go viral because there was a guy who finished a marathon, a blind guy, that he was able to see through metaglasses. They were able to help direct him to the end of the marathon. National news story. Oh, he talked about that. Blind Charlie walking coast to coast would be a massive story. and I think it was one of those ones like a real-life Forrest Gump situation where everyone would get excited about it, get behind him. So if it's possible, my name is Natasha.

Natasha.e is on Instagram. Jake knows me. Sorry. Okay, I love you guys. Sorry. All right, we'll take the kidney. We'll not take the personality, but the kidney, please. Charlie could use it.

Please. Ow. Oh, I have this note here that says, tell Jake to shut up. Wow. Okay. I like her again. She's got a good message and a good kidney.

So, Vanessa, get in touch with Natasha. Her information is apparently on the GOAT line so that we can try to get Charlie a working kidney. If it's not enough that we're giving out body parts, we're giving away Allie's money. And we'll do that after this quick break right here on KROQ. All right, we've got five questions here. Technically, all of the answers are things in the news, so it's easy to figure this out. Of course, if you've been paying attention, you can go ahead and try to wing it and guess, and maybe you take Allie's money.

To be completely fair and brutally honest, which is what we always try to be around here, Allie does spend most of the morning looking at the news as she's putting together the ADD news that she'll be sharing throughout the morning. So you'll be aware of what's going on in the world. And every once in a while, we get to break good news on the show. Sadly, more often than not, it's tragic news we have to share as the show progresses. We don't control the news. We just deliver it. Don't kill the messenger.

But in this particular case, we give you a chance to prove you know more than Allie, which makes you a professional. And we say good morning to Steve listening in Woodland Hills. Hey, Steve. Hey, good morning, Klein. I'd love you to get Allie's money right now. bragging rights for life and an invitation back to the Allie Knows the News Tournament of Champions. And there's a lot of young, impressionable years perhaps listening to the radio right now heading off to school for the very first time of this brand-new school year.

So it all matters, and everyone's hopes and dreams are resting on you. No pressure as Allie leaves the KROQ studios. You get to go first. Five questions about things going on in the world. Do better than Allie and instantly get paid her money. Here we go. Allie Knows the News. All right, this soda is going through its first makeover in over 15 years.

They're going to do a whole refresh of what soda? A&W. A&W. I don't think that thing's ever gone through a refresh. Those cans look like they did when my dad used to drink it. We go to question number two. He says A&W, question two. You think Lakers tickets are expensive?

Well, how about buying the entire team? Apparently, the team is about to sell for what price tag? $600 million. $600 million. We go to question number three. Oreo is back with two new flavors to celebrate the fall season. Name one of those new flavors that has been announced by Oreo. Midnight Love.

Midnight Love? Yes. Did you just make that up? Yes. What do you think midnight love tastes like, out of curiosity? Dark chocolate and marshmallow. That's a good idea. Question number four.

Over 30,000 pounds of beef is being recalled right now for what reason? Mad cow disease. Mad cow. Man, that one scares me the most. Because apparently you can eat a hamburger and then like six years later your brain just starts melting. I don't know how it works exactly. I don't know how you would tell with us. Yeah, you wouldn't tell.

We may all have it already. We could all be positive for Mad Cow. And finally, this is your last question. Big news in the world of entertainment. This comedian apparently has completely fired her agency and switched to rival agency in Hollywood with no warning. All of a sudden, just made a switch, decided I'm going to go with a whole new agency.

Which comedian is getting a lot of headlines today? Ellen DeGeneres. Ellen DeGeneres. All right, let's bring Allie in. We'll score it together. Once again, if you're right and if you do better than Allie, it's breakfast for people on the show and, more importantly, $100 for you. If you're wrong, we will ban your calls from ever coming through to KROQ ever again.

Send Allie back into the KROQ studios so she has a chance. Someone send Allie in. Anyone? Anyone paying attention out there? There she is. Taking your sweet-ass time today. Did they not send you in? You just told me to go in.

Oh, my God. This guy's been stalling for half an hour. Oh, sorry. What are you eating? Toast with avocado. Man. I'm hungry. Pregnant Allie.

Make Allie fat again. You care for what you wish for. I'm just working with them on what we're ordering for breakfast. Oh, you're in on that too now? Hell yeah. What about me? Jake, you're out. Jake's not.

No. I'm a corndog. Question number one, Allie. This soda brand is going through its first major makeover in over 15 years. I believe I saw this and it is everyone's favorite when they're hungover. Seven up? He said A and W, but the correct answer is 7-up. They decided never since we had that talking dot with the sunglasses,

no one's cared about us. I was going to say, is it just the dot they're making over? So let's go ahead and do something new, and Allie gets the point. She's up one early, 7-up. You won't recognize it soon enough because it's got to compete now. It's going to be a slightly different color red dot. Yeah, we've gone with maroon. Different sunglasses.

Question number two, the Lakers. You think those tickets to the games are expensive. How much is the team? Apparently, the team's about to be sold for this price tag. Oh, yes. Oh, God. One billion? One billion.

He said $600 million, which I thought sounded low. Ali says $1 billion, which is currently what Powerball jackpot is if you're playing tonight. You guys are not anywhere. You guys clearly must not own any NBA teams. No, I do not. $12 billion is what they believe the Los Angeles Lakers are worth. And that is what they are paying. $12 billion.

I know the guy who owned the team has a bunch of problems. Yes. And now there's another team, another ownership group that's going to get involved as well. So it must be nice. I mean, if you're at that level where you're just asking friends, hey, I'm going to pass the hat around. We've got to come up with $12 billion.

Put me down for $2 billion. Or if you're hurting that bad that you need to make a cool $12 billion really quickly. Question number three. Ali is still up only by one. Oreo back with two new flavors to celebrate the fall season. Everyone knows the greatest Oreo flavor is the OG Oreo flavor. They're playing for second place,

but it doesn't stop them from coming out with new flavors all the time. What is one of the new flavors coming out just in time for fall? Fall. Orange cream. I think I saw that. All right. He said Midnight Madness or something like that. What?

I think he said Midnight Love. Midnight Love, excuse me, which is a flavor he made up involving marshmallow and dark chocolate. That sounds kind of good. I'm interested in that. I should make that immediately. But the correct answer is much worse. Apple pie a la mode.

And, Allie is right, orange cream is bad. Okay, I thought I saw that. And I don't know where they get off thinking orange cream is a fall flavor. Yeah, because even when you just said fall, I'm like, I don't think it was fall. Orange cream is a summer flavor, if anything. Yeah, because of creamsicle. And orange is like, I don't consider that a fall color. It's a fall color, but it's not a fall flavor.

Oreo, you guys dropped the ball on this one. Make this man's midnight love immediately. Maybe they thought pumpkin spice was too on the nose, but they wanted something orange. We go to question number four. Allie's up two now. Over 30,000 pounds of beef have been recalled. Why? Let's go with salmonella.

It's a good guess. He said because of mad cow. But this was an oopsies where the beef was imported, and apparently it completely skipped being inspected by U.S. Customs. or U.S. agri, whoever checks the food shipments missed this one and it got out

and got into the stores and they're like, whoa, we never even checked that to see if it was on the level. God, I wish I could get skipped sometimes when that happens. 30,000 pounds is being recalled right now.

Check your beef accordingly. And finally, Allie's still up too with one final question. This comedian making news after apparently firing her agent and going to a whole new agency,

rival agency across town. Unannounced. It's a big story in the world of entertainment. God, maybe it's Nikki Glaser? Allie, was that a guess? Yeah. Nikki Glaser.

Ah! Nikki Glaser just decided. Allie, you're right. Jake said, well, listen, Steve, you put in a decent effort, but sadly, you got not a lot right. What must you shamefully admit over the airwaves of K-Rock? Go ahead. My name is Steve, and Allie knows the news.

And that means no breakfast. Breakfast is now off the table. I don't know if you heard, but there's two different places that they want to go to. Well, it's not happening. He had to win today. Steve, mad at you. Steve blew it. I think I've been banned from a store probably for the rest of my life

because of something that happened yesterday, and we'll get into it next. Hey, Rob here at the Klein Alley Show. Consider this a cautionary tale. And I don't know, Allie, if you remember when you would go to school, did you get a new outfit for the first day of school before you were covered in lice and pinworms and paint and everything else? Never did that. I had to have a uniform. You had to wear a uniform. Oh, bougie.

And I always wanted to wear the boy version. which was the khaki shorts. Right, and I said, put on this plaid skirt. And you're like, not for me. No, I put on the khaki shorts underneath my skirt. Any of you guys wear a first day of school, like, new outfit? Like, hey, new year, new me sort of thing? I don't remember getting that at all.

I remember I always wanted to wear the same, like, shirt. I was a big Lakers fan growing up. I just always wanted to wear a Lakers T-shirt. Isn't that what your daughter wants to do now? That's all she wants to do. Just like you. Terrible. But my wife convinced me yesterday

because today is the first day of school that I needed to go get my girls back-to-school outfits. I can't believe you waited until the day before. What a rookie move. The whole thing was... Well, I didn't know what was going to fall on me to do. I just assumed it was done already. And you're right to assume that,

because, again, your wife is the one who knows everything about clothes. And she'll say to me all the time, like, you don't even know what shoe size they are. And I'm like, yeah, you're right. That's our department, baby. I don't know, but I could give you a range somewhere between...

I know they're snacks. Somewhere between toddler and, you know, 12-year-old. And shag, yeah. Somewhere between there. I don't know what the number is, but it's somewhere there. But you know what? I don't even know if you know what section you'd be shopping in. No.

But by the way, it doesn't matter. Just keep putting them on until they fit. Cinderella style, right? Eventually one of them is going to fit. You just pick every size. Yeah, you just bring them all out. One of them will fit. Just feel for the toe.

How can we possibly measure? I don't think you're able to put outfits together, though, is the other part. Okay, so this is why. So you have to. I'm not good at that. And I also, you're right, I don't know what goes together. I also don't take into account the weather because it's going to be a warm one today. So I don't know any of that stuff.

So I was the wrong guy for the job. Needless to say, fast forward, there I am at the mall. And we're walking by and my kids see Old Navy and they go, oh, oh, dad, can we go to Old Navy? And I go, great. This is the back to school store. You can get a whole outfit there for $4. So I'm on board with this one big time. And then when you walk out, they're like, you want to throw in a pair of flip-flops?

A dollar. Great. It's got the American flag all over it. Don't care. We're getting rid of our 4th of July stuff still, so you can load up. So they walk, and I don't know what I'm looking at. I just kind of stand there, and they go around, and they grab some things that they think look good, but they don't know. Sizes, I don't know sizes.

And with your wife, I don't know if she lets them choose or if she chooses for them. No, she's realized, and I didn't know this. She didn't give me this inside information. Don't let them choose because they're going to pick stuff that, A, is wrong, either doesn't fit. Or it's pajamas. Right, exactly. So she goes, I will pick out what they get, and then I'll just – they'll try it on. Usually she'll get it, buy it, bring it home.

They'll try it on there, and then she'll just return all the stuff that they don't like or whatever. I didn't even know what kind of – I have no – I never even asked a question. My kids put clothes on in the morning. I don't know where the clothes come from. I don't know where they got them from. I assume – I don't even – I never even thought about it really, to be honest. They just have clothes. I didn't even notice that they have clothes on.

Yeah, sometimes they don't have them on. I don't know. They've always had clothes on when they need to have clothes on, and that's, I just, I guess I took that for granted. Yeah, I know. And I never have to dress my kid in the morning because I'm never there either, so I get it. This took a turn pretty badly because Bruiser really was not a fan of anything and was getting really mad and angry and just wanted to be out of the trying on clothes.

She wanted to go over to Foot Locker and look at sneakers because why wouldn't she? She's cool. I don't know how she feels. Right. Rainbow flag. Right. Thanks. Loud and clear, Allie.

Picking that up. Well, if that's the case, it's because you're contagious. So stay away. The other one is a little fashionista. She wants to try on everything. She finds this little skirt she likes, but the thing is too big. So she needs a smaller size. Now, Old Navy's like chaos.

That's why the people that work there have to wear those earpieces like they're landing airplanes. Stuff's all over the place. I know they've got some shelves and whatnot, but it feels like everything's just kind of like... There's no respect at Old Navy. You know, especially because it's parents that are rummaging. Just rummaging through things. They throw it on the ground. Then when they're done, it's like they just leave it all over the dressing room.

And then they leave the workers to pick up the shrapnel. So I go back and I try to find this little skirt she's wearing and her size. And I can't find it. And then I get struck with a little genius, Allie. I see the mannequin. This little girl mannequin is wearing the skirt. And I say, let me go ahead and check the tag on the skirt. Maybe that's a small.

So now I look at the mannequin skirt. And lo and behold, even though the store tells me we don't have any smalls, I see it right there on the girl mannequin. So my kids are next to me. I start taking the skirt off of the little girl mannequin. And my daughter says, what are you doing? You're making her naked. And I said, it's okay. This is the size we need.

And I basically undo the skirt off this kid mannequin. You undress the girl? Yeah, it's a mannequin. It's not a real girl. It's a mannequin girl. I know, but you're in a kid's store. Well, it's not. You got to at least.

You're making her naked. Yeah, you got to put new clothes on her at least. I pull the skirt down and then I can't. Did you do it with your teeth? No, I didn't. I did it with my hands. Do you live slow? I pull the skirt down off the mannequin.

Done. And then I can't because the way they have it propped up with the stupid boots on the mannequin and the legs, I can't pull. The skirt will not come out over the legs. So now I have to take the shoes off the mannequin too. I'm undressing this female mannequin because I basically need to re-bend a knee to get the skirt off. You're now manhandling the mannequin. Yeah. And is it one of those things where you have to lift her off in order to get her shoes off?

Right. Well, that's what I'm trying to figure out because I couldn't go up with the skirt. That was my first thought. But the arms are also propped like this because she's holding some back to skirt. It's a whole setup. Can I ask for help? There's not a lot of help. There's people running around there, but they're not very helpful.

Yeah, usually you would say, I want this one off the mannequin. Can you help me out? I'm now talking to my daughters Explaining why what I'm doing is okay And my kids have gotten bored with it Apparently because I don't see this But they've left me Well yeah because you're an embarrassment

I'm now sitting there talking to I think my children But they're gone so now I'm just talking to a mannequin As I'm undressing her A child mannequin by the way Pulling the skirt down saying this is going to be your size This is going to look good Yeah this is going to look good Yeah this is your size because you are small

And I pull the whole skirt off, and now I'm taking one of the shoes off. I get down on hands and knees. I'm on my knees now because I have to get the mannequin high because I'm trying to prop the foot off the mannequin so I can pull the skirt off. How long is this taking? I'm there for a good, at this point, five to seven minutes undressing the mannequin. And I'm talking to my kids behind me, but they're gone. I don't realize this.

Meanwhile, another family has entered the equation, and they're just apparently standing behind watching me undress and talk to this mannequin. Yeah, well, and if this had been a mom, I feel like no one would have batted an eye. I would say my mom has probably done this before. Yeah, I'm a guy. I look like this, and now I have no kids even near me. Right, so you just look like a perv in the Old Navy. Yeah, just a weird guy undressing a mannequin.

So all of a sudden, I guess the family gets freaked out by me, and they call an Old Navy person that comes over, and they send two over because I guess apparently now I'm a problem. A gay guy and another gay guy? No, it was like a burly woman and another burly woman. And they come by and they say, excuse me, can we help you? And I said, I'm just trying to take the clothes off this mannequin. And they said, we don't do that here.

And I said, well, listen, my daughters, and of course I look around, they're gone now. I'm pointing, waving to where my kids were. I don't know where they are now in this store. Apparently they sell snacks now at Old Navy. They do? Yeah, they're over there in the snack section. And I say, my daughter needed a small. They didn't have any small.

I noticed this mannequin lady's wearing a small, so I'm ripping it off. And they said, we can't sell you the skirt off the mannequin. What? Why? They just don't do it. They said it was made for the mannequin. Made for the mannequin? Yeah, and they said, can you please dress her and then step away, pretty much, is what they said.

Step away? I had to slowly pull the skirt back up, put the shoe back on. Walk of shame. button her and then walk back as a family and these two employees were looking at me you got rejected by a man and i go let's go kids we're out of here i've been dishonorably discharged from the old man so you couldn't get in the end you couldn't even get the skirt no i couldn't get the skirt and i don't think i'm a weirdo that undresses uh girl mannequins at the mall for my own pleasure well you are but i had a purpose there so i came back with your kids ever show up

again yeah they were at the snack thing they said can we get some of these right but when you were You're saying this is for my daughter. No, I said that, but when I left, and the woman kind of walked, they did that thing where they kind of escorted me out of the store, like they wanted to make sure they walked out with me, you know? So you bought nothing? No, why would I? No, I wouldn't buy anything.

I couldn't find the thing I needed. I said I would have bought this skirt for $4, but sadly, I couldn't get off your mannequin. And then, you know, that's it. So they walked me out, and then when I finally showed them that I had daughters, I was like, aha, see? They're there with me. There they are. They're with me.

I told you I'm not a perv. And then that's it. so I don't think I'll be going back there ever again. Man. So back to school, big success. You know, five, six, twos at Klein, don't worry, I've done the same, but I actually took the legs off of the mannequin

and it was a mess. I would have taken the legs off of it. I mean, I almost laid her down and started ripping parts off, but luckily they came and they stopped me in the process. So I'm just warning. Did it look childlike? Yes.

What are you talking about, did it look childlike? Yes, it's a child mannequin. Well, sometimes they have those mannequins that just have like a spike for a head. No, no, no, this was definitely a child. This is a really... mannequins were in a backpack. Those are child mannequins, okay, Allie? Look good on her.

Okay, I didn't say that. Try to not get suspended or expelled today. It is first day of school for LAUSD, and other people enjoy summer just a little bit longer, or perhaps you've already been back in school, or you don't go to school, in which case, here's some news so you can learn something. Grab your

Adderall. It's time for ADD News. Yeah, so today is the first day of school for LAUSD. A lot of frantic kids and parents trying to make it all happen this morning, and And on top of it, today there are going to be some changes, particularly with screen time. In addition to the cell phone. More screen time, right?

More of it. We're doubling it. We've got substitute teachers, so we're just going to put on a movie for the next eight hours, then we'll send you home. They went on strike again, so here's an iPad. So in addition to the cell phone ban that started last year, this year there will be no screen time for kindergarten and first grade at all. Second and third grade is limited to 20 minutes a day. Fourth and fifth, 30 minutes a day. Grade six through eight is 60 minutes a day. High school, 90 minutes a day.

But don't worry. I'm sure all the students will make up for that as soon as they get home from school when their parents immediately hand them that iPad until dinner is ready. I can't believe they're saying that they're dropping it to 30 minutes a day. It's not even a show, barely. Kids crank that out before 6 a.m. They're way ahead of schedule. This is great.

My kids are screen timing at a college level already. Do you keep track at all? I try to. Sometimes we did, and then it was like, how many shows have been on? I think it's the second one. So he's probably at like 40 minutes. Something like that. I should stop.

You know, like girl math. I'm great at screen time math where I'm like, well, that was technically kind of educational, so that doesn't count. And that was a FaceTime with their friend, so that doesn't count. I know. I keep track, but then my wife does not. And then it's a total discrepancy. I'll get home and I'm like, how long has this been going on for?

Are we just not caring about this at all? I also feel like, let's be honest, guys, screens are great, and we have them, and let's just use them. Well, and they said parents are actually introducing tech to their kids earlier, like at three or four, because they think that tech proficiency is important. And so it's that kind of balance, right, where you want the kid to be a kid and you don't want them just be locked into a screen, but you also want them to know how to navigate a screen and to be tech savvy. But I feel like that's going to happen anyway. I mean, we live in a world that screens are our life. Everyone's favorite insanely rich celebrity, Dwayne The Rock Johnson, is expanding his career even further. Of course, he was famous as a wrestler, then famous as a bad movie star.

Not that he's bad, but the movies that he is in. Well, the wig he wore in Moana was bad. That was bad. And now, Moana, the live-action version, has inspired him to start a music career. He said that he has reached a point in his life when he wakes up in the morning, swings his legs out of bed, and whatever the first thing is I'm doing, I want to feel like I'm running towards it. And I think that when he reaches a certain point where he feels like he's got this, he wants to move on to something new. So that for him is going to be music.

And this is one of the songs that he did on the Moana soundtrack. Wouldn't you want to listen to a whole album of this? Dwayne The Rock Johnson? I wish that wave would come and take me under. please move a mountain over him jesus look i get it he's probably better than a lot of yeah i don't know he said he wants to sing from the heart and in keys that don't exist vanessa knows about that and explore the old school soul genre with some country flavor so it will be soul mixed with country that's my idea hell this is the thing is when you get

too famous no one tells you that it's a bad idea too many assistants and too many yes men And then they're like, great, you want to do that? So country soul. Country soul, let's go ahead. If you're famous and you're an A-lister, have us as a friend. We are happy to tell you that that's a bad idea or that you suck at something. The problem is that when you have enough of your own money, you can just keep putting your own money into that. Usually, if you need to go to outside investors, they look at it and go, this is a terrible idea.

We're not going to give you any money, and that's the end of the dream. But it's what happened with me and Paiwai. If you have endless money. If you have endless money, then you can just keep churning it into your stupid idea because you just keep funding it. Right, and then your wife is just going, is that what we're doing? Yeah, well, anyway, I look forward to that big tour that will be happening soon enough. We get into a brand new hour of the show right now. I think it will be the greatest hour of your life, and here we go.