Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 1- ADD News, Proof of Fat and MORE

Episode Date: August 27, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Hey, what's going on, Klein Alley?

Good morning, everybody, and welcome to Dollywood. Are you ready? I love Klein Alley, you little bitch. Klein Alley, it's just okay. Just don't let things bother you too much. Good morning, everybody. Hey, what up, Klein Alley? Whoa, sweet divot steak, did you see that?

Meet me at the Klein Alley Show. Let's get the show started. The show started. The show started. We are live in Los Angeles. Three, two, one. And here we go. It's the Klein Alley Show. Low 6.7. KROQFM in HD Pasadena, Los Angeles, Orange County. The Sonic Pulse of Los Angeles. This is the world famous KROQFM.

All right, the very first thing we're going to do out of the gate this morning is invite you to call us and give you some access to our endless summer kegger, also known as the inaugural Clam Slam, looking for you right now at 800-520-1067. If you're up with us right out of the gate, I know some of you claim you listen to the complete show, some of you watch the whole show on YouTube as it unfolds live before your very ears and eyes every morning. But the very least we can do is say thank you for those of you that have started your day with us. And if you'd like to win your way in, now is a good time to call 800-520-1067. Good morning, I'm Klein. There's Allie. Morning. That is DJ Omar Khan there.

He is the audio sniper, the one and only. Then there's the arbiter of audio. What's up? Also known as the local nerd, Jake the Nerd. That's me. The pride of Burbank. Lives in a shack. And then in the back, taking the calls, producer Vanessa and postmaster Johnny at 800-520-1067.

I think most people say, I'm going to get up earlier tomorrow. I'm going to get up earlier tomorrow. And then they never, ever do. But I just wanted to shout out 747, who said, for the first time, they finally woke up at the time they wanted and are finally able to listen to the beginning of our show after all these years. I mean, I know. Like you said, I give myself that same pep talk every night, too. Just a little earlier tomorrow, you can do it. And then it's snooze, snooze, snooze city.

Snooze city, yeah. And I know that we've gotten those stupid reports over and over again. The number one thing they say to do is no snooze. And get out of bed within eight seconds of waking up. That's all you got. If you convince yourself to stay in bed longer than eight seconds, you could be in there for another three, four hours. I do wonder what they have to say about you getting up early, though, as far as, like, most of the time, I will wake up an hour to 30 minutes before my alarm. And is it better if I just get up?

Yes. Because if not, you just do that stupid thing where you sit there and you go in your head, how long has it been? That's what I did this morning. And then it becomes a beat the alarm. Can I turn off the alarm before it goes off? And the only time, and I think for me it was only one time that I actually overslept, slept, and didn't make it here. There's been a few different times we've all had issues where the alarm screwed us. It was one of those times when I was up a half an hour before the alarm, and I was like, I'm up.

I'm just going to go ahead and turn these five alarms off. Turned them all off, and then just, so I kind of just closed my eyes. It feels so nice and warm. I just want to rest. And then, yeah, I'm just going to rest for another minute. And then your body goes shutdown mode. And then it was like a panic from Vanessa. Where are you?

Which I don't think Vanessa has ever done that. She likes to send us the pre-messages before and say, I may get murdered if I'm not there tomorrow. Yeah, I mean, she gives us so many precursors, but I don't think she's ever been late or even later than she normally gets here. We have a big break in the Dolly Parton case, which we'll get to in a moment. But let me say hi to our 20th caller, which puts us on someone by the name of Cameroon. Good morning, Cameroon, and welcome to KROQ. Hello, Cameron. Excuse me, what?

My name's Cameron. My name is not Cameroon. Cameron, good news. You are coming to the Endless Summer Kegger September 3rd. We will be in Newport Beach with Slightly Stupid, and you will be there as well, and it's going to be a great time, and congratulations. Hold on so we can get your actual name written down so we can let you in. And if there's trouble at the door, just tell them it may be under Cameroon.

Allie, did you see? you know everyone's trying to figure out how you were connected to the death of Dolly Parton because they said there must be a way and we couldn't figure it out because you claimed you didn't say anything on the air about her and you've got this history of mushing celebrities and usually it's moments or days before they die you've said something about how good they look or how healthy they seem or you mentioned their name as like oh you know who I always loved was so-and-so and then like a day later it's just like game over it's gotten to the point where if i mention any celebrity that a person loves they text or call or dm me and say how could you

right and you've said a lot of times it's the uh it's the so-and-so will be with us forever or i'm so excited for what they have next and then it's like dolly parton's just getting started right so i couldn't figure it out because dolly parton died and it did seem sudden even though she was 80 but for a lot of us we were like that's weird it came seemed to come out of nowhere and then yesterday the break in the case happened because and this is going to sound crazy guys but stay with me for just a second and even Allie will stand I found a loose link not a loose link at all we had we had we had Richard Pink on from Pink's Hot Dogs last week we talked to Richard Pink about the Hamdog are officially making its international debut and they open up a Pink's in Japan that was the

conversation at some point during the chat you said to Richard Pink hey Richard rumor on the street is our photo that you used to have on the wall of Pink's is no longer there and he's like It is there somewhere, but maybe I'll move it to a better location. Some version of that is what he said. I don't think he said he was going to move it. He said it's always been there. It's there. It's been there, but Johnny claims he went to Pink's and it was nowhere to be seen.

We got some bad placement up, you know, blocked by something. You couldn't even see us. Yep, it was moved. So Richard Pink, the next day, which puts us on, I think, Friday of last week, moves our picture to a, quote, more prominent location. and lo and behold He did send us the picture and it looked like our neighbors were different. Of course we got moved and wouldn't you know it

he moved us right next to Dolly Parton. This by the way was on us but there's only one person who's touching Dolly and you are the person that is exactly next to Dolly yesterday Pink's posted a tribute

to everyone who's posting their Dolly Parton tributes and they posted the photo of Dolly Parton at Pink's who signed something hey Pink's love your hot dogs whatever whatever

and they put a flower on it and everything and all you see is this picture of Dolly Parton except it's so close up right next to it

you see Allie Johnson and it's just me just you because your frame is touching her and all of a sudden people started hitting us up

going guys we found the link here it is so congratulations I can't believe that my powers have gotten that strong where I don't even

need to say anything I just need to be within proximity not even physically If Ali Parton's living fine, 80 years, she's fine. Then Richard Pink moves your picture, touching her, you touching her, and two days later, she's dead? 323 said, how is Joshua Jackson still alive? That's the part.

Ali's been talking about him for almost a year now. That's the part we can't figure out. So he must have something terrible going on deep down. Or he's just beating Final Destination. Like every day, he almost dies. Whoa, Joshua Jackson fell in a pothole. There he goes, survives. He's okay.

So once again, the tributes continue to pour in. I don't accept this, by the way. You can see it up on her Instagram. The proof is right there, and it is just wild. And by the way, she's there. It's such a sad post. Now you've got your real ham it up picture. You're all happy and whatnot.

It's very funny. It's K-Rock. She's a mush, guys. Let's talk about the bribery we have in store for you on a Thursday morning. That includes tickets for you to go see Weezer and perhaps a trip to go see them again in Boston, plus an autographed guitar. From that band, you'll have chances to win 9, noon, 3, and 6, which means in less than two hours, we'll have your chance to hop on that standby boarding list and be a part of K-Rock's Road Trip USA. But I'm sure you already know about that.

So let's tell you about the other stuff we have for you. Lots and lots of access to our Endless Summer Kegger. We'll be bringing back some human bingo, looking for very specific types of people. And just keep listening because if we're calling out someone and it happens to be you, you've got to call us back immediately and claim your tickets to the Endless Summer Kegger. We have that to look forward to as well. Plus, we've got some limited edition Klein Alley Show merch. And I believe, I thought we were all out of the I've never been intimate with Jake shirts.

Oh, no, I think we have a few left. Because there are so many people who have not been intimate. Right. Every single person was qualified to get a I've never been intimate with Jake shirt. But what is the, Vanessa, we have, we found another box of them, I guess, right? Yeah, we have some. What size, though? They're all like a weird size.

Large? Oh, there's no one small enough for that. There's not a lot of smalls. Yeah. All right. Well, I'm shocked that we usually all were just down to like the quadruple extra at largest. But lately, it feels like those are the ones that go first. Those are the ones that when you make a regular T-shirt order, you're like, and I'll just

get a couple XLs or two XLs. xls we just get a couple smalls and then we get like 700 xls and double xls speaking of xl we don't have time to get into this now but vanessa does say that she's received proof of fat from rob the blob proof of fat has been sent and we need to figure out if there's now a way to get a 762 pound man to our endless summer kegger well we have to talk about the proof of fat well we'll get into that all later this morning right now though it's ali's money if you want it call and claim it. 800-520-1067. Five questions, all about the news.

The answers are out there. Study up, give us a call, win some money. We'll do it after this on KROQ. KROQ, we are Klein Allie's show. Allie is out there. Oh, here she comes, back into the studio. No need to come in. You're just going to have to leave again. We got someone who is going to be on the phone right now to take some of her money. She wants it, and Allie hates paying

the people, but she'll do it even on a thrifty Thursday, her favorite day of the week, to celebrate her cheap ways. And this morning, it seems like, man, there's people that want your money from all over the place. We could go to Super Coima or Huntington Beach. I'll take them all at once. Southgate.

You want to battle all these people together? That's a big mistake. We say hi to Maria listening in Burbank this morning. Everyone, good. Allie will pay out $400 if everyone, wow. Hey, Maria. Listen, we could use a main person and then have everybody else be kind of like a lifeline. Oh, man.

Allie, are you prepared to pay this many different people? I said what I said. Okay. Maria, you're going to be the main person, but you're playing for everyone else. Okay, let's do it. You're playing for everyone else on the phone right now, which means if you beat it, it's a lot of pressure. Can you take it? If you beat Allie, everyone's getting paid today, according to Allie.

She's feeling very generous and or drunk. I'm trying to recall everything I've seen on the news for the last 24 hours. Okay, it's been a lot, I know. Allie is going to go ahead and... I'm going to go keep drinking. And keep drinking, because I know that some doctors would say not to do that while pregnant, but Allie, she marches to a beat of her own drum or something like that. So whenever she's out of here, your round will begin.

Maria, let's go. A lot of people counting on you. Allie knows the news. This former NBA player is now getting his own late-night talk show because apparently we learned nothing from Magic Johnson's late-night talk show. Who's getting one next? Let's say, gosh, former. Need an answer.

Three, two. Allen Iverson. One, Allen Iverson. I'd watch that. Question number two. What is happening up in the sky today that's of interest, newsworthy, happening up in the sky? We're going to say solar storm. Solar storm.

All right. We've got a question number three. 65 Americans are still missing in Nepal slash Tibet. For what reason? What happened there? A chunk of an iceberg. came off. A chunk of an iceberg. Question number

four. Oh, I think I misunderstood the question. They had a flood. They had a flood. I've already written chunk of the iceberg in pen, but okay, I'm going to change it. It's just a one-time do-over for you. Question four. That's what caused the flood. I thought that was a question.

There was a giant delicious spill all over the 105 freeway. What was spilled? What delicious treat was spilled all over the 105 freeway? Pop-Tarts. Pop-Tarts. God, I would love to be.

I hate traffic, but if I'm stuck behind Pop-Tart traffic, I'll take it. I'll write it down and we'll see if you're right in a moment. And finally, question number five. God, I'm really rooting for you because everyone else on the phone

wants to get in on this as well. Question number five. What has officially passed the nicotine patch now as people's favorite way to work on quitting smoking. There's a new thing that has now just passed the nicotine patch. What is it? Chewing gum.

Gum. All right. Let's bring Allie in. We'll score it together. This is all technically news, hard-to-find news. It doesn't involve Dolly Parton these days, but we did somehow find five questions, and you can gamble on anything these days. And Allie puts her money up, and once again, Maria's playing for herself.

She's playing for Eddie. She's playing for Carla, Kayla, Tom. A lot of people want Allie's money. Some of the people I don't think thought you did very well because they've already hung up. But the ones that are there have a chance to get paid. Here we go. Question one. Allie, question number one.

Okay. Which former NBA player is getting his own late night talk show? Because we learned nothing, apparently, from watching Magic Johnson do it. Shaq? It's a great guess. A lot of personality in that Shaquille. That's the only one I can think of. I would have accepted Barkley.

Would have been a good guess as well. Any of those guys on the inside of the NBA. But no, it is Blake Griffin. Weird. Blake Griffin. It's a funny guy. Is he? Former Clipper.

Yeah, I think he's pretty funny. Did he try stand-up? I know he was in a couple of movies and shows. Yes, he has. He has done some stand-up too. I don't know how it went, but he is now getting his own late night talk show. No one gets the point. Like on a real network?

I think it's going to be on Amazon Prime, I want to say. It's real-ish. Cool. Go to question number two. No one gets the point. What is happening up in the sky today that's newsworthy? Oh, there's like, it's like almost an eclipse. It's like the shadow of Earth is going to be covering up the moon or something.

Ah, you said the right word, which is moon. Lunar eclipse. That is what I was looking for. She said a solar storm. I cannot accept that as the right answer. Oh, that sounds cool. But a lunar eclipse is what's going to be happening up in the sky tonight. Allie gets the point.

Of course, she knows that because she makes moon water. Oh, yeah. Do you make special eclipse moon water? I make shadow of the moon water, too. Double the price. Good for you. Question number three. Allie is up 1-0 as we go to question three now.

65 Americans are missing in Nepal or Tibet, that area. For what reason? What took place there? There is a big flash flood that was caused by a glacier. Okay. I was going to give you the point when you said your first answer because you did say part of a glacier fell off, and that is correct, Maria.

It led to a flood. Both of you get the point on this one. And Allie remains up by one still with two questions left. Maria, let's turn this around right now. Question number four. A delicious traffic spill took place on the 105 freeway. It created quite a backup. But what was the delicious treat that was spilled all over the freeway?

This had your name written all over it. Definitely a story for Klein. It was a truckload of cheese balls spilled all over the freeway. She said Pop-Tarts, but the correct answer, Allie, is exactly right. Cheese balls. I bet that crunch was so satisfying. Oh, man, driving over those cheese balls. I love that crunch.

I got a keg of those right now in my kitchen. I know, you served them at the party. I can't go into a Bethmo without leaving with a keg of cheese balls. I mean, talk about endless summer. There's so many in there. There's so many. It's unbelievable. But you still eat them.

I don't know. I know the prices of everything have gone out of control. A keg of cheese balls is still $5. I think it's still, I don't think it's ever gone up in price, like Arizona tea. It's the greatest value on the planet, is a giant keg of cheese balls. Thank you, Utz. Maybe it'll finally go up now that all these cheese balls were lost. Probably. Sad, sad state of affairs.

Final question, and Allie's up two now as we go to this last question. This has now just passed the nicotine patch as the number one way people are trying to quit smoking. Something that's just jumped ahead of the nicotine patch. What is it? God, I don't feel like there's really that much else out there. Is it the gum? She said gum, too. Good guess, guys, but you're wrong because people are replacing smoking with vaping.

and vaping is now replaced as people kind of use that as a way to get away because they like that feeling. I mean, that's not really quitting. Well, they say that that is now leading to more people quitting is what they have found. I tried that, by the way. It didn't work. Yeah, Ali's now hooked on Fruity Pebble Vape. So, anyway, listen, Maria, a lot of people disappointed, myself included, but what must you shamefully admit over the airwaves of K-Rock?

Go ahead. My name's Maria, and Ali knows the news. Yeah, but the good news for you is that tomorrow is a $500 Friday. So, if you didn't win today, you didn't win yesterday, don't worry, because it's all coming down to tomorrow where you have a chance to win $500 of Allie's money on KROQ. This is Hozier, but I'm sure you knew that already. Hey, Roger, we are Klein Allie Show. We understand some of you are listening for the very first time right now,

and others have decided to not listen to the show anymore for a variety of reasons. It seems like every week we get someone that says, I'm out, or I'm moving, or I can't afford California, or whatever the case may be. The Odyssey app sucks, so I deleted it. There's a lot of ways you could listen, but that's fine. You can make up your mind for yourself. This person, however, has gone the other direction, Allie, and we will also welcome any new sloggers into the fold. Hey, Klein, Allie. How y'all doing?

So, I decided to finally cave in. After fighting with you guys for the past five years, I've been having this love-hate relationship, and I decided to finally fully dedicate myself to all four hours of your program. It's not an easy life decision to make, and a lot of people don't have a schedule that can accommodate that. And sure, you could listen after the fact in podcast form, whatever, but we understand realistically, at least they tell us in all of our boring meetings, you only want to get people to listen for five to ten minutes.

Just get them for five to ten minutes. That's all you need. Well, yeah, but then think about the little thing, like a show that you liked, and you're like, eh, season one was okay. i don't know if i should invest in this though i get it and then when you make the choice to invest it really is a calculated choice because it's going to take up your time that's the same way that vanessa has invested in her giggly squad she's in the giggly squad she's a giggler whatever she's very happy she always talks about how she wishes our show could be as good as the

giggly squad show i don't see and before that you were a fan of that other terrible show the worst show that i've ever heard in my life was that stupid show yeah but just likes playful, girly banter. I just want to listen to people talk. When Vanessa says that she thinks our show is good, I start to question and go, oh, God, no. I was the happiest when Vanessa said that we're not

funny. What did she say? We don't do comedy well? No, we don't. You guys cannot let that one go. Well, I forget what your quote was, but you said something along the lines of you guys don't know funny. And you know what? Now that I know what you're into, what you think is funny, I think that's a compliment. So thank you. Yeah, we have completely different senses of humor. Yeah, because I listen to

Some of the other trash that she's into, and that is bore fest. I wonder if we both listened to a full episode of Giggly Squad, if we would giggle at all. I would say zero. That'd be Suicide Squad. And to be fair, I also listen to other things. Right, now I get it. But I'm just saying, this guy has decided four hours to our show. So thank you, sir.

I don't know what it is. I don't know what happened. I think I'm going through a little bit of that Stockholm Syndrome. Um, but, uh, all the other radio stations now suck. I mean, they're boring, and you guys are... That was our goal. We realized everyone else would just, uh, start phoning it in and stop caring and stop putting in any effort, and that was our goal, is that if everyone else just sucked a little

more, we would seem better by comparison. We just want to be the least sucky of the group. We're not trying to revolutionize anything here. We just realized if everyone else can get sucky, the same way that Omar left his kids at that 5K, he didn't have to be the fastest guy there. He just had to beat his sick kids that were thrown up on the sideline. And then he almost got a medal out of it. Right, and he felt good.

Pretty damn entertaining. So consider myself a slogger, netbanger, whatever else you guys call it. So a slogger now. This guy's a full-on slogger. Welcome. You're a slogger. Vanessa's a giggler. You're a slogger.

You're a slogger. Congratulations. You may not be an OG slogger if you weren't listening from the very beginning, but we will accept new sloggers on a daily basis. And if you'd like to join what was once described by Variety Magazine, Our show is a four-year slog. They call it a slog fest or a slog? I think they just said slog.

A four-year slog. I think slog fest would have been pretty aggressive. Their way of insulting us, but we now celebrate that, and we welcome you sloggers, and hopefully we have more of you to hang out with at our endless summer kegger. We're all just slogging along. Including maybe the greatest slogger of them all, a man who calls himself Rob the Blob. Now, Rob the Blob, we met him through the goat line. He claims he is 762 pounds.

He's left quite a few messages on the GOAT line over the past few days. He can't leave his house. I'm not going to go over everything again. But we did say you have 24 hours to provide us proof of fat. Well, and Vanessa has said she called him. She calls him, and he doesn't pick up, but then he leaves messages on the GOAT line. So she's suspicious of that. But he probably can't get to his phone.

I mean, if the phone— No, Klein's convinced he's super fat because of the way he breathes and the way he sounds on the messages, right? On the messages. He has to be. He's got fat breath. He's got fat breath. He gets through it. You can fake fat breath.

No, no, no. This is the way he does it, though. He gets through. Allie, let's hear some fat breath. I am fat breath. I'm a fat breath. Allie's great at it. This is actually his name.

She knows from experience. Yeah, yeah. Fat Allie had fat breath. When I first met Allie, that's why I knew it. People, before we played the new message and we look at the proof of fat, and, Omar, you have to look at this as well to get your honest opinion, but people were such a fan of Rob the Blob. I mean, the amount of messages that came through for this guy.

Rob the Blob! What's up? It's Blind Waldo. Oh, hey, man, that was freaking cool. I got a shout out from you. If they can't get you to the clam slam, I think they should do a live remote at your house. So that's one suggestion. We don't even know where his house is.

We bring the whole thing to him. If we can't get him to us, we go to him, change everything. But if we can get him to our summer, endless summer kegger, then we can have a lot of fun. We can roll him like that boulder from Indiana Jones. There's so much fun things we could do with him that I'm sure he would hate. I think the possibilities are endless. Yeah, hey, what's going on, you guys? I'm a few days back, but this Rob the Blob guy got trying to, you know, move to your party somehow.

I'm sitting there and I'm pondering, I'm listening to this guy. No one knows. The mechanics that it takes to use. This is why everyone's confused. Is this guy just... And move him, the full party. He said four guys, but I call Bolshevik. Oh, well, he said...

That's not possible, okay? You need, like, six. He says there's no way this guy... What does he know? He said you can't move a 700-pounder with four guys. I've tried this. Four ain't enough. You need six guys to move him. And even at that, that's...

You got six black guys. He needs six buff guys to move him. He said four guys wouldn't be enough, so clearly he's lying. We did get a new message from Rob the Blob. I think you also need some kind of a pulley system. Like, you can have people lift you up all you want, but you have to be able to, like, grab onto those pulleys, and it has to, like, kind of lift you out of your seat.

This is from Rob the Blob himself, Allie, and he would agree that you do need a pulley system. Horse wiggins, guys. Rob kicking it again. See that breath right there? This is not a fake breath. This is him struggling to get through the next word. Yes, your caller ID does not lie. I am an East Coaster rolling quite literally cross-country to slam that clam. Although, by way of an update, there has been a bit of a hiccup en route.

Since never having traveled before, I didn't know what famishing work it is. Had to stop every ten minutes to reload my feed bag with Krispy Kreme and Taco Bell. Okay, this is not true. Now I don't think it's real. Now I feel like it's not. And consequently, we weren't even to New York when the flatbed started dragging and the axles just grenaded. I paid my girlfriend a little extra to roll me the rest of the way, but most were crushed and some refused. Why does this sound like a great American novel?

We tried the train, but the engine overheated, and the C-47 just couldn't get airborne. But worry not, Allie, my dear, I won't make it to L.A. this time. I will yet engulf you in my voluminous love. Someday, I shall eat it. So he did threaten Allie. It was the Fats of Times. It was the Fats of Times. He sent us a picture.

Vanessa claims. I don't even see where it is now. Vanessa, have you shown it to Omar? Yeah, Omar's in the princess head. Yeah, no, I haven't. I haven't looked at it. Omar, take a pic. This is according to, this is the letter we received.

He wrote, dear Vancey. Vanny. Vancey? Vanny. Vanny. He said, on behalf of my friend, I am in receipt of your kind voicemail. Thank you for reaching out. I know that you don't believe that I am the weight I claim, blah, blah, blah.

I have attached a photo of myself per your request. It was a pleasure having you sign a photo. We signed a photo for this guy at some point? Apparently, Vanessa signed a photo of herself for a listener, and it was given to Rob. I didn't know that. Because this was for Rob. If I saw Rob, I would have remembered him. So maybe he had a person go there for him in his place.

Signed Rob the Blob. And then there's a picture here, which I'll show on the YouTube so you guys can see what he sent us. Did Vanessa actually think this could have been real, this picture? No, I think the opposite. And let me tell you why. Well, Vanessa did say we got a picture. We know why. There's so many reasons why.

If you were that big, you would not wear jeans. That's the reason? Are you kidding me? You would not wear jeans. I've never seen a bell that big. And I'm just like This is clearly so fake I need seven more reasons why you think this is fake

Vanessa told us She says I've received a picture From the guy who claims he's robbed the blob And she goes I'm not 100% sure He's real And I think by this picture It's clearly evident He is real

Because you know how you can tell Vanessa If you look at the little doggy food dish next to him There's no food in there Where do you think that went? The two ratio? Do you think that's how he eats? That's right. Out of this tiny dog bowl?

Also, okay, let's say he did have a dog. How is he putting the food in the bowl? I don't know, Vanessa. Vanessa, he doesn't have a dog. Maybe he has people. He's eating the food. He's the dog. This is my point.

He has little food bowls around his place for himself. Why would they be so low to the ground? Yeah. Anyway, this is the picture that was sent to us. I just didn't think we had a Sweet Divots shirt this big. The fact that he's wearing a Sweet Divots shirt is incredible. We do. I shipped it out already.

But we do have shirts that fit. All right, so anyway, we all could accept Omar. It had to go freight. What's your take, Omar? He's not real? Yeah, he's not real, but he's hella entertaining, so keep on calling Rob. Yeah, I know.

Regardless, we don't care anymore. Maybe he'll show up. I'm bummed out because I was hoping this was a real man, but based on this photographic evidence, I'm now convinced that Rob the Blob is not 762 pounds. I mean, he is in this AI-generated photo. Yeah, in this picture, he looks to be about 762. He should have made himself, like, laying down, you know?

I know, like the whale. Yeah, like a beach whale. You guys, people like this can't stand up. Totally. The fact that he's just alone standing up in his bathroom. He's got like the devil horns. Yeah, yeah, this is me. I got up.

Anyway, Rob, it was nice knowing you. R.I.P., brother. To lose a Dolly Parton and a Rob the Blob in the same week, it's tough. But anyway, we'll try to party without you, and we'll have more access to our endless summer kegger coming up in moments. Your ADD News after this quick break and more show next. Let's get into your ADD news, and then a brand new hour of the show can officially begin. But first...

Hey, sweet dibs, everybody. Today's my 50th birthday, and... Happy birthday, wheelchair. The only thing I want for my birthday is to hear the dulcet tones of Moist Choice singing happy birthday. Thanks. I don't know if we have a version of that. She did a happy birthday, Mr. President. I believe we have that somewhere.

She did, yeah. We'd have to track that down. So, anyway, happy birthday, wheelchair, to you, good sir. News now, then a brand new hour of the show complete with your tickets to the endless summer kegger. So we've got lots to give you today, and we'll kick off our first round of human bingo in a while. If you're a human, you're eligible to play, so just keep listening for that after this. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. So yesterday, obviously, there was a horrible tragedy in Nepal that continues,

and it was a giant flood that was triggered by a glacier. Last I checked, there were 359 people that have died from this. 1,300 people are still missing, and they estimate around 65 among them are from the U.S. Many adventurers, I'm sure, trying to have a trip of a lifetime. The flood had the same power as a 5.2 earthquake, and the water was going 40 miles an hour at one point. This does not look real at all. It doesn't. It looked like a movie.

I was like, oh, are you kidding me? This is real life? I know. It's scary. The videos are terrifying. Terrifying. And you also have AI renderings of the beginning, right? The glacier breaking all the way going through the river, passing through a lake, melting down, mixing up with debris, and then eventually hitting the cities, the towns.

And a lot of these towns are very small, and they don't really have the best infrastructure, so it could do a lot of damage really quickly. And then on top of it, because you're in these little mountain towns, this was basically their warning system. They didn't really have any kind of warning system, and this was going on hours, if not days, before it struck the town. But as the flood is coming through the city, this is the warning system. Just people yelling, there's a flood. Let's send out some whistles. Whistle a lot. Get out of the way.

Once again, we always talk about the whistles in time of emergency. Nothing more powerful than the whistle. I mean, these are great whistles. I've got it! I've got it! And you see people running like... Ali would have thought she was getting catcalled. She would have said, oh, God.

Hi, stop. I'm just trying to visit. I'm just trying to be an adventurer. Leave me be. And she wouldn't have understood that they were trying to warn everyone. It's very sad, obviously. And for so many reasons, you know, I'm sure this is global warming related. It has to be, right? Yeah, well, they're talking about that and saying that the three countries that are, you know, within the Himalayan mountains need to come together and figure out a better system because this is going to start happening more and more.

These glaciers are going to continue to break off, continue to melt, and then they're going to travel through the mountains and they're going to get to all these cities. And they don't have necessarily that good of a system to warn people or also to prevent it. The scary part. There he goes. That's a warning. If they want to use me whistling, they can have it. Nobody would have heard that. Send that.

That sounds like a different emergency right there. That's so bad. Send that over to them for the next one. I mean, let's hear Klein's whistle. Mine's good, Omar. That wasn't the final version either. Okay. You got nothing on their whistles, man.

No. You have more of a blow than a whistle. Thank you. It blows all right, that's for sure. These are like Everest-level whistles. They can travel miles, those whistles. Pretty incredible. I'm getting better, I think.

Getting better. You've worked on it not at all since last time. I've been working on it a lot, actually, as a matter of fact. So after Dolly Parton and Tim Curry died, there have been a lot of people wondering what 80-year-old person is next on the list. We need to take Harrison Ford, Goldie Hawn, and Cher, and we need to put them all in witness protection

because we can't lose another. Unfortunately, we already know who is next. It is a voice actor. He was 85 years old, and he was the voice of Optimus Prime. Peter Cullen has died. He was also King Kong at one point. He played the Predator at one point. And he was Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh and a lot of different renditions of that.

This was him talking about how he came up with the Optimus Prime voice when he was on his way to the audition. And I read the copy, and Larry is just coming out. But his voice, the way he talked to me, and it said, you know, I'm Optimus Prime. No, it was, my name is Optimus Prime. Oh. I know. Doesn't it give you chills? It sure does.

And everyone's like, yeah! He's no James Earl Jones, man. He's pretty good, though. He's got big balls. He's got that grovel. Guy's got big-ass balls, I bet. I like the OG. Oh, the OG was great, but everyone's trying to, everyone's playing for second place for,

you know, what's-his-face, Omar. James Earl Jones. That's right. Yep. What a beautiful tribute. Thank you. Speaking of tributes. You're so good at these.

Allie, I want to say something, because you got a call yesterday after your tribute to Dolly Parton, and I think you should hear this, because this- I got a call. This call came from Dolly Parton in heaven. Hi, this is Dolly Parton. I'm calling from heaven. Oh. And I just heard Allie Johnson's tribute to me on the radio, and it's just absolute garbage.

I couldn't figure out why she couldn't find the actual clips of me saying my favorite Just quit. Just come. Do your damn job and find some goddang things that I say. Can you not do that? I don't want to hear it come out of your disgusting, muff-munching mouth. Hey! Why is she being so anti-gay? I thought she liked the gays. I thought she liked the gays. She doesn't want to hear her quotes come out of your disgusting, muff-munching mouth. Unbelievable she had no comment about Klein's tribute, which was, she was a music.

I thought that was beautiful. So that required no preparation. If you're going to go to a football game at SoFi this season, it will highly depend, the price will highly depend on which team that you like. It costs more to be a fan of a winning team, and now that week one of the NFL is just around the corner, we're getting a closer look at the prices of the games at SoFi. And the difference between the Rams games and the Charger games are significant.

I think they pay you to go see the Chargers, right? Don't they give you money? You know, I was looking at the preseason Niner-Chargers game, and I think one of the more expensive tickets was about $40. The more expensive ticket. Yeah. Remember when Jake used to get paid to sit in the Judge Judy courtroom? Yeah.

I think they do the same thing at the Chargers game. Yeah, I was at that game last week. Oh, you were? They suck, man. The Chargers? You didn't pay for that ticket, did you? No, my dad had season tickets, and he's like, Jay, you want to go? And I was like, man, this team's sorry as hell.

You know it's bad when the parking is way more than the ticket. Well, that's a lot of places now. Yeah, I know. But the average a family of four is going to spend at a Rams game is $1,627. Oh! And if you go to a Charger game, it's going to be $1,200. So over $400 more to go to a Rams game. A family is going to cost $422 more average for a family of four.

Wow. I can't believe they're getting that kind of money for those games. I mean, $1,000 to go sit and watch. These are probably for the first games before people start giving up on their team. Well, I guess if Justin Herbert's fiance is there, it's maybe worth going. You should just prop her up on the Jumbotron or something. All right, well, there you have it. We get into a brand new hour of the show right now.

It will be the greatest hour of your life. We can guarantee that. Here we go.