Klein/Ally Show: The Podcast - HOUR 1- Jake's Birthday, Klein's Leaf Blower and MORE

Episode Date: August 4, 2026

About to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show, but first let's tell you about our good friends at the finest airport that ever was and ever will be. The San Bernardino International Airport. Especially when there's summer travel plans, it can get expensive at these airports. That's why you gotta go to this airport where parking is just five bucks a day. Plus you got those easy trips, San Francisco or Provo, Utah. Maybe you didn't plan anything this summer. See how easy it is. Don't be one of those people who has to pack your patience. Go to San Bernardino International Airport. Okay, enough shilling. Now it's time to get into a brand new episode of Klein Alley Show. Hey, what's going on, Klein Alley?

Are you ready? I love Klein Alley, you little bitch. Klein Alley, it's just okay. Just don't let Frank's body into that. Good morning, everybody. Hey, what up, Klein Alley? Whoa, sweet divot snake, did you see that? Viva Klein Alley Show.

Let's get the show started. The show started. The show started. We are live in Los Angeles. Three, two, one. And here we go. It's Klein Alley Show. Low 6.7.

KROQ FM and HD Pasadena. Los Angeles. Orange County. The Sonic Pulse of Los Angeles. This is the world famous KROQ. Hey, good morning. Welcome to it. It's KROQ.

We're Klein Alley Show. Today is Tuesday, August 4th. My name's Klein. There's Allie. Morning. That is the birthday boy over there, Jake the Nerd. You got DJ Omar Khan, the audio sniper, although Jake claims he's the original audio sniper, but that's just one of those footnotes of the show that you probably don't care so much about.

And then, of course, you got producer Vanessa and Postmaster Johnny taking them calls at 800-520-1067. Ginger Justin in there making sure that we are streaming live on YouTube right now, so you can go ahead and watch us unfold the disaster before your very eyes. Today's a good day to watch the show. Allie's getting bigger by the day, so if you've been praying for the return of Fat Allie, all you've got to do is watch the stream, and you will see her. She's actually now in 4K. I'm wearing one of my large Costco bras today.

Costco bra day. Allie's getting bigger in all the right places. Do we have a number of weight gain, an actual number? I hit the 10 mark. Over 10 pounds? Mm-hmm, over 10 pounds. But I'm wondering, I would like to weigh each boob and see how much weight I've gained just in each boob.

We can make that happen, probably. We could borrow one of those produce scales from Ralph's or something and bring it in here. Or maybe Allie goes over to Ralph's and does it. Those really giant ones that are like a bucket? Yeah, for melons. That's what they're for. Why don't you go over to Ralph's during the show today? You can place them in the little basket.

No, but I don't think I can put a bare boob in there. I feel like I would get kicked out. Also, you need it to weigh it before. I can do that at a pack and save, but not at a Ralph's. Yeah, you go to a UPS store and do it. They got those scales. You can find a drug dealer. It's got a nice little digi there.

I can go to Yogurtland. Oh, yeah. What are we doing? Yeah, go to Yogurtland and, you know, do a way with a cup. Don't make it look conspicuous. Put the cup of ice, you know, the yogurt on there. Here's this cup and this cup. And then also put your breast on there.

And then be like, oh, I actually only need the yogurt. And then you can do some math and figure it out. Or I can go to the deli counter. So many options. So many great scales I can use. Why are you sitting here like a loser? Can I get a half pound of chicken breast and also weigh these breasts? Yeah, you think that's where Allie believes most of her weight gain is gone.

At least right now, which is one of those cruel tricks. Boobs, ass, and stomach sounds like a monster hit waiting to be written. So get to writing. Let's make that song happen. A couple of messages waiting for us on the GOAT line this morning. It is Jake's birthday, so today is only going to be positive calls about Jake. We don't want there to be any issues where Jake gets upset about things. Last week, he had a mantrum.

He did, but maybe it's just part of getting older. We don't want that to happen on Jake's big birthday, so let's go ahead and start with a positive phone call. Yeah, my name is Jeff Costellas. I'm actually the manager of the Violent Femmes, and I just wanted to call and say, please don't ever send Jake to introduce us ever again. Okay, hold on. That's not a nice call.

I'm not playing that call. It's not really the manager. Do you think he'd call the goat line? Is that the manager of the Violent Femmes, Jake? I mean, that's his name, but I sent you an actual screenshot of his actual message. I can't believe that. We worked hard for 45 years just to get an intro that crappy. You had one job, Jake, and you screwed it up.

I mean, how dumb are you? Nobody cares about your stupid band, bro. Are you serious, bro? Get out of here, man. I feel like that's not the real manager. That's not the real manager. That's not fair. Why don't we have some positive?

Are there any positive, Jake? Yeah, there is. I'll play a positive. You can also read the text that the real manager actually sent us. I'm going to. There we go. I got it. This is a.

That'd be nice. Here we go. This is a live, a new message from Jake about Jake Thunert on his birthday. Yeah, I'm just calling to say, Jake, you suck. Oh, come on. You suck. Oh, what's the matter, Jake? Are you going to cry?

Are you going to cry to your mommy? You suck, bro. No, you suck at everything. You suck at life. Is this the manager again? He is bored. He's a very busy manager. It's K-Rock, we are Klein Alley Show.

Happy birthday, Jake. We love you. You know that. K-Rock, we are Klein Alley Show. It is Jake's birthday. That's not the only thing we'll talk about today, though. I did find a positive message. I just want to play that to clear the air from all those mean messages we heard a moment ago.

Hey, goat line. I'm getting stoned at this time because it's 420 and I just wanted you to know. one of the greatest parts of your show fine, Ali, I love you both my man Jake this man is the greatest like, god damn I had better things to say

about him, or actually I had thoughts, but I got drunk bar buddy Bob says bye that's bar buddy Bob, that's Jake's good friend from the bar he goes to, calling to defend Jake saying he's a good man Jake's going to be celebrating his birthday today

at the DMV in Glendale. Yeah, it's going to be a big party. Please come by. We don't know if we'll be allowed in because we're not there for any official business, but Jake did lose a bet. He's officially the worst driver on the show, and as a result, he will be forced to spend

a good chunk of his birthday at the DMV doing nothing at all other than sitting at the DMV. Yeah, he kind of deserves it after driving barefoot and then kind of jutting into oncoming traffic and making the driving... There's nothing wrong with that turn, goddammit. So Jake lost the written test and then lost the road test,

and it just so happens that his birthday happened to be creeping up, so we will be... So we lost that, too. So Jake will be there today. And I know it's a weird place. I don't think in the history of the DMV anyone has ever chosen to have a birthday party or go there for any reason unless they had to, had to, had to be there. Yeah. And he's going to be there in the corner with this little, we got him a hat.

Yep. He's going to have a hat and a balloon. Look at that thing. Jake's going to be sitting wearing that at the DMV today. He's got a little hat. I think he has a sash, too. If you want to stop by after, well, after 1 p.m., I know you had to try to squeeze your nap in today. No, no, no.

I can't. I don't have time for a nap. Oh, man. That sucks. I have to nap at the DMV. All right, so Jake will be there at the DMV. I'm sure a lot of people will be right there with you. In Glendale today.

The DMV is not aware we're doing this. They would probably not allow it, but Jake will be there sitting in a chair. I wanted to kind of get there early and decorate, but I don't know if I'll be able to do that either. Yeah, and I also don't know if anything there that is festive or fun is even allowed. They like that place to be pretty drab. Right. Anything that distracts from the boring moths. What is that, a streamer?

Get that down immediately. Fun? Get it out of here. Anyway, today at the Glendale DMV, you can find Jake the Nerd sitting there. If you'd like to stop by and wish him well. I think Klein's going to bring him his pizza, too. I'm going to bring him his annual birthday pizza. Oh, awesome.

He's going to see a grown man eating a whole pizza. That's cooler. Other people said they wanted to figure out exactly where he would be so they could stop by and give Jake some birthday love. But this is not an official show appearance, nor is it a sponsored KROQ event. But it is happening today at the good old DMV in Glendale because it's the one that's most convenient to Jake. and he will be there today for his birthday. So there you go. You got that taken care of.

Other things on the show today you actually may care about include, but not limited to, Ali, your funner summer fails. We've been pushing this funner summer agenda. A lot of people, like me getting my nose shattered in the pool over the weekend or the jet ski guy that passed out or trying to have fun, but it's backfiring big time. Yeah, it results in almost dying for a lot of people. Didn't you meet somebody else who lost a finger?

Oh, man, lost an eye. Oh, yeah, lost an eye. Firework to the eye this year. So if you were attempting to have a funner summer, but it backfired on you, we'd love to hear your stories a little bit later as we talk about some of your funner summer fails. We will get to that. Of course, we've got another one of the exit interviews from a first date that took place. I'm excited about that. And, of course, the thing that I think we're all waiting for, Allie, I have brought in the leaf blower.

I don't know why you brought that in here. I do not want you to turn it on. Oh, it is going to bother you. Are you having nausea this morning or morning sickness? Yes. Okay. Well, I'll blow that right out of the studio because this thing is powerful. It's just going to give me so much congestion.

There's so much dust and grossness in here. There won't be. Let it lie. I'm going to blow it all away. No, you're not. You can't get it out of here. It's all going to be in this room. The leaf blower is now an indoor and an outdoor.

No, it's not. Every leaf blower is outdoor. I did so much with it inside my house yesterday after officially charging it up. It is going to replace. I will never bend over to pick up anything ever again. It is wild. If you blow it hard enough into the wall, it shoots up and I can catch it out of the air. All things.

Laundry. I did this with papers on the floor. Anything at all that was on the floor. I'd just take the leaf blower, blow it against a wall or a corner. Shoots up in the sky and I grab it out of the sky. At any moment that you have that is calm in your home, you feel the need to disrupt it. I mean, I'm sure there's just children screaming, dog barking, wife nagging. It was chaos, I imagine.

You would think that, Allie, but you'd be very wrong because I have audio to prove just how successful it's been inside of my house and how I'm a huge hit with my kids after getting the leaf blower. I don't want you to start a gardener business. Why? Okay, so she was not a big fan right away,

but I think she's turned around. So we'll get into a new round of Client's Kids Hate Him, the leaf blower edition. That's coming up later this morning as well. If you'd like Allie's money, call now and claim it. 800-520-1067. That's right, 800-520-1067. Someone said that everyone at the DMV for their birthday

is going to be 16, trying to get their license. That's true. I was there on my 16th birthday. And then it will be Jake, so that'll be interesting as well. Well, you have a child here? No, no, just me. Grown-ass man. So if you'd like to call and play and take some of Allie's cash, call now and claim it. 800-520-1067. Allie Knows the News

is next after this quick break on KROQ. $100 is not a lot these days, but it's better than nothing and it is Allie's money. And over the years, she's paid out thousands of dollars to people just like you for proving you know more about the news than she does. And all she All she does every day is sit back there and put together the ADD news. Retain about 10% of it and hope for the best.

No short-term memory, no ability to retain anything that is useful, which is why you're so easy to beat her. And sometimes people say, I don't understand. Allie didn't get any of these questions right. And then 25 minutes later, when she did the news, she reported on that exact same story. Her brain is broken, guys. What do you want us to say? But also, I am looking up the news throughout the show. So there might be something I just haven't read yet.

So my theory is you can gamble on anything, which I know is now a popular opinion. But at the time, it was revolutionary. And we say good morning to Charlotte right now in West Covina. A chance to take Allie's money this morning. Good morning, Charlotte. Good morning. Hopefully you are smart or at least smarter than Allie. Not too difficult these days.

And all you have to do is answer questions about the news. This is the last winner of the dumb-off, ladies and gentlemen. Allie has won the dumb-off a few years. And now she is leaving the K-Rock studios. So as soon as she's out of here and sequestered, you get to go first. Then she'll be back in here. We'll score together at the end. Here we go.

Allie knows the news. Charlotte, you are on the clock. Question number one. Traffic may suck a little more than usual in parts of Southern California today because who is coming to town? Oh, God. Trump? Question number two.

Starbucks has declared a big announcement, and they say that August 28th will officially be the day that what starts at Starbucks locations? The pumpkin spice latte. We've got a question number three. 95-cent sandwiches seems like a pretty good deal, and that's exactly what was happening to celebrate the 95th anniversary, 95th birthday of what local eatery, what local restaurant in Southern California? Carl's Jr.

Carl's Jr. We've got a question number four. L.A. City Hall was closed for what reason? Oh, infestation, rats. Oh, man, when in doubt, rats is a good guess. Speaking of animals, we go to your final question. We've been updating everyone on our favorite big bear, bald eagle, Jackie. What is the current health update from big bear, bald eagle, Jackie?

It's been changing by the day. Oh, yeah, she had like a setback. Setback. There's something going on with her. Something not good. The last report we had was that things were going in the right direction and that she was being moved out of the ICU. so you believe now that there's been a setback

in everyone's favorite Lady Bald Eagle. All right, bring Allie in. We'll score together, see how you did. Of course, $100 could be yours. You did answer all the questions. I give you credit for that. Did you answer them accurately? We will find out in a moment.

Allie's back in. Sun's out, gun's out. She's sleeveless today. This is like a Postmaster Johnny shirt. It is? Here we go. Question number one. Traffic may suck a little more than usual

in parts of Southern California today because who is coming to town? Uh-oh. Not the president. I guess that's my guess. Okay. Do you have a mouthful of food as you're answering these questions? I only had one more bite before I walked in.

Jesus Christ. I didn't realize you were going to be done so fast. Fat Allie is getting here faster than we thought. Guys, make space for Fat Allie. She could be here any moment now. That is the correct answer. She said Trump. You said Trump.

President Trump is coming to town today. What's he doing here? He's probably going to say some... He loves the governor. They're going to have lunch. They're going to have lunch together. Probably play a round of golf. Talk about how much they have in common.

I think he's speaking at his golf course in Rancho Palos Verdes. We'll go to question number two. Tied up 1-1. Question two. Starbucks says that August 28th will be the day that what happens? They've already declared August 28th should be a national holiday because of what? It's got to be the PSL. She also said the return of the pumpkin spice.

Guys, pumpkin spice season. We're not waiting until September or October. No, why not? I don't think we have for years. Late August. And that is the date that all you basic bitches can come out of hibernation. And Vanessa loves. Remember when Vanessa ordered that pumpkin spice?

They come out of their caves. They all come out. Pumpkin spice is so trash, man. It is. I know. Get out of my Uggs. I'm going out into the world on August 28th. That is the correct answer.

2-2. Tie as we go to question number three. 95 cent sandwiches. Pretty good deal these days. That's exactly what happened to celebrate the 95th birthday of what local eatery slash restaurant? I know Irv's was doing something for their anniversary, but I don't think it was 95. Is it Cantor's?

She said Carl's Jr., but Allie is absolutely correct. 95-cent pastrami sandwiches at Cantor's on Fairfax. You could use a pastrami sandwich. To celebrate 95 years. I love when these places have anniversaries, and we benefit because things go cheap. All right, Allie goes up one with two questions left. Come on, Charlotte. Question number four.

L.A. City Hall was closed for what reason? Hmm. Plumbing? Toilets? Exploding? Cloths? Exploding toilets. She said rats.

Both of you are dancing around the right answer, but technically the answer is that L.A. City Hall closed amid hazardous materials investigation. Could be both. So it could have been either, but it was actually that they had, you know, quote, things that fell under the category of hazardous materials that were not vermin, so I cannot accept rats and they were not because of the toilet

so Allie gets no point and we go to this final question it's the exciting daily health updates about everyone's favorite big bald eagle Jackie

what is the current update that we've received about the health of Jackie the bald eagle she's not doing so hot more specific she had a setback

I think is what they said specifically that is exactly how Charlotte answered the question that is the answer I was looking for a setback

she got some blood work back that was not so bueno You know, and now they're concerned that something they thought was going in the right direction is now going in the wrong direction. And thoughts and prayers with Jackie, the big bald eagle. And Charlotte gets another point. And with a final score, Allie, you still beat her by one. But, Charlotte, you played the game beautifully, and we have no money for you now, but we'd love to send you some limited edition Klein Allie Show merch, which is not as good as $100,

but it will be yours regardless, so hold on and claim whatever it is you want. In fact, you could be the proud owner of a I've-never-been-intimate-with-Jake shirt on his birthday. If you'd like to win that, it's yours. Oh, thank you. I'll take it. You don't need to. You don't have it. Just want to confirm you've never been intimate with Jake.

Not that I know of. Okay. Would you like to? I think you would know. Oh. Is he rich? No. The opposite.

He lives in a personality. No, you're not rich in that either. Hold on one second. but you win yourself. You're rich in ants and crickets. Yeah, that's right. That's something. This is Julia Wolf.

It's called In My Room, and it's on Tarot. Which is Jake's life. Tarot Q. Today is the day, even though it's Jake's birthday, that I emerge as a man, and I'm so thrilled

that I was able to come in here with my new leaf blower. I don't know what I've been waiting for my whole life. There's a couple things I've always said I was going to get. One of them is a deli-style meat slicer. I've always thought

that'd be a cool thing to have on my counter so that I could just slice meat like they do. That seems more like you than this. I know, and I probably should have gone with that. I've been talking about that meat slicer for, God, over a decade, and

I don't know why I've never done it. I love hearing about it every time. How much are those things? They're not too bad, right? $300 for them? I think it's less about the cost of it and more about the upkeep of it. I think there's a lot of cleaning, sharpening. You've got to sharpen those blades a lot, and then you've also got to buy,

you know, you no longer are buying slices of meat at the deli. You're now buying the giant round. Ham hocks. Dude, that's you though all the way i know they have them at costco they have those big giant turkey i put it in my i put it in my cart every time and say if only i had a slicer i would buy this and then i'd put it back and then i bought them and sliced them by hand but i loser talk that's loser talk you gotta get one of the real ones and i'm talking about like the ones you see at jersey mike's you know those nice looking ones that blade is constantly spinning so smooth

feels good i would just sit there and slice all day slice and eat but whatever i didn't i've wasted that moment and instead i went with leaf blower which i feel like i needed to do for three reasons primarily my yard looks pretty much every day now like it is a complete disaster zone why just because leaves falling well i think because of how hot it's been every leaf has just fallen but also the spider i feel like i'm already people i think people already think i've decorated for halloween because of the out the outside looks like it's dead leaves everywhere and just cobwebs Yeah, well, in my backyard, it's like, here's bird poop and dead bees and just, you know, leaves from other people's yards, fruit that's fallen down. Like, I think every plant is struggling to survive right now in this heat.

And I have two neighbors, and they both have blow-and-go services, and I feel like I'm just, I'm like, just constantly having their leaves blown back and forth across my, and they just, I have no weapon in this fight. I'm nothing. I'm just a man. I don't even have a rake. I got nothing. So I got the leaf blower, and I contemplated it. First, I made a mistake. I went with a Makita.

Wait, you don't have any other gardening tools, like a shovel, one of those little pansy gardening bags, you know, anything like that? You don't have a pansy gardening bag? I don't. Come on, pansy gardening bag. I have like a— So the only thing you own as like a tool tool is this leaf blower. I have a hammer. Oh, you have a hammer.

Do you have a toolbox? I do have a toolbox, but most of what's in the toolbox is like a bunch of random... It's just a QR code for TaskRabbit. It's a bunch of random nails and stuff and, you know, like lighter fluid. I'm sure it's well organized. Lighter fluid? It's chaos. Who said nails and lighter fluid?

Well, for a while I hid... That's how you hang a picture. I'm not very handy. But now that I've got the leaf blower, it's all going to change. And I'll turn it on right now. But yesterday, you know, it seems like you have to work your way up to a leaf blower as I borrowed one and I was pretty good at it. And I think there is a skill to it. The one I borrowed was a much better one than the one I ended up getting, because this one, even though it has six hundred and fifty horsepower or whatever it's got, I don't know how they rate it. It I've made a bit more of a mess than I've solved at this point because I didn't have a good plan going into it.

Now, are you getting the like, you know, like moths to a flame? the men in the neighborhood could be going over and being like, oh, it's a nice leaf blower. Would you get that? Is that a Makita? I was hoping they would. I did have a gardening service that kind of gave me a stink eye as they drove by me in their pickup truck yesterday.

Competition. I think they thought I was coming in on their turf, which is, by the way, turf. It's AstroTurf. So I did want you to know that part of the reason I got this was not just for outside upkeep, but for inside the house. I realized a lot of things I could do with the leaf blower. I spend most of my day picking up socks,

picking up kids' clothing that's left behind, And the dog still shreds toilet paper. It's like his favorite thing to do. And I'm constantly... So you're just blowing it around like confetti throughout the house? Yeah, and it's fun. But you're just blowing it around. You're not actually picking it up.

You're just doing what the gardeners do, but you're doing it inside. Blowing it from room to room. Yes, but I blow it all into one room, and then it's that room's problem. And you shut the door. And the other thing that I've done is if you blow enough of the stuff against the wall quick enough, you can catch it in the air like you're in one of those money machines where it's got the dollar bills. You can grab them. You don't have a lot of free time.

Yeah, but that's how I want to spend it. What are you doing with your time here? This is what you're choosing to do, blow socks around? I also just looked it up. Your leaf blower only has one horsepower. One? Hold on. It's got 650 CFMs on it.

Yeah, that's what it says here. And it's 0.73 horsepower. Please don't point that at me. Stop it. Allie. Stop it. No. How's that feel?

I don't want it. How's that feel? Not good. Is that cooling you off at all? No. No, it's not. Is that the low setting? That was the low.

Yeah. You want me to crank it a little bit? Yeah. I don't want to get blown by you. Leave me alone. The point of this is... I never asked for this. There's a lot more you can do with this than just, you know, as...

You know, it says on the thing, four leaves and gardening stuff. Inside the house. I'm going to tell you yesterday. I walked in. My wife was very upset about the noise. She hated it. This thing was described as pleasantly quiet. Haven't you said yourself this is one of the most annoying sounds a person can hear?

It's annoying because you're not doing it. This is my point. If you're the one doing it, it's not annoying. But if you're the one annoying everyone, it's fun. Yeah, if you hear it, it's annoying. If you're the one holding it, all of a sudden now, and I'm sick and tired. I hear leaf blower noise constantly. It's like the official soundtrack of Southern California.

It's sublime and leaf blowers. Then let me hold it. No. Because then it's annoying again. Then it's annoying again. No, no girls allowed. Yeah, but I will say that yesterday, as I was blowing socks around my house.

My wife was on the toilet, and she was mad at me. She goes, what is that noise? I said, it's my new leaf blower. And she goes, oh, God, are you serious? And I said, yeah. And she goes, that's so stupid. Return it. And then she was in the bathroom.

I walked in on her. She was standing up to wipe. And guess what I did? Wiped for her. What? Blew her dry. I don't know. Did it do the job?

Low setting. Yeah. Omar, you hear that? You hear that, Omar? Yeah, it's pretty impressive. 0.73 horsepower. Real job, you've got to blow dry this. It'll take a while down here.

I bet she's hardwood floors on the rainforest, baby. I'm throwing all the stuff off her. I don't think. Stop, stop. See what it's doing? It's getting all the stuff. I see. I know how a leaf blower works.

Why are you showing me this? I'm showing you it's getting all the stuff off. You're probably not even good at this. No, not yet. Does your backyard even look even better? Well, I'm glad you asked. I asked my wife that question yesterday. This is what she said after I started my leaf blowing yesterday.

Is this thing going to run out of battery soon? It's almost dead. Okay, thank God. I don't want you to show it off. Oh, that's my kid. She's not a fan. This is my wife's review. So you don't think I did a good job?

Looks like someone threw up on our porch now. Okay, no, I didn't plan it well. I don't think you realize how much dust is flying around this room already. That's asbestos, Allie. That's the good stuff. Why are you doing... I'm pregnant. I know, but this is going to help strengthen everything.

And it's going to help... It's going to help clear this place out. Does it say that on the box? I'm going to show you how strong this is. If Jake were to come in here and stand by me, I could blow him with this thing, and the smell, his smell, would waft over to you at 600 miles an hour.

Oh, that's good stuff. I don't want to do any of these experiments. This is 150 miles an hour. My wife said already I've made the front porch look like someone threw up all over it, and that was only with one day of use. Yeah, those leaves were up in the gutters. Yeah, you think you can be a gardener?

Yeah. Come on. Nobody's going to pay you. I did it backwards. I cleaned down here, then I went upstairs, and I made a mess down here. I did it differently tomorrow. But we'll be doing it every day. It was so satisfying blowing all those leaves out of the gutter, just so many leaves.

I don't think those gutters have ever been cleaned. And I blew them all out, and then they went all over my yard. And then you walked away? Yeah. Yeah, at that point, I felt like my job was done, and I got bored with this already. So I moved on. This was my kid not happy that I'm going to take up this new identity. I don't want you to start a gardener business.

Why? Because I don't. Why? Did you see my leaf blower? No, I don't want you to. Jack, turn it off. I can't hear you. What?

What? I don't want you to start one. Why? Jack, just don't. You already have a job. You don't need a gardener business. Don't start one. He has a job in radio.

He does need a gardener business. You don't understand the state of radio right now? This is called my backup plan, kid. Get ready. You'd think I already have a job. Why can't I garden, too? Because I don't want you to. Please.

Dad, you mean our house or other people? Everyone who wants me to do it. No, I don't want you to, Dad. She's very upset about it. I'm so traumatized. She just thinks it's so embarrassing and humiliating that I'm walking around just blowing everything. And by the way, this thing is, I don't know if it's not strong enough or cobwebs are too strong.

It doesn't work on cobwebs. You know what you should do, Klein? If you're really into this, you should go shirtless and do an OnlyFans, like a leaf blower OnlyFans, where you're like hot around the house blowing stuff. I'm not doing it for the glory, Allie. I'm doing it to... Annoy everyone? To annoy everyone.

I would think it'd be really funny if you drove your kids to school and like walked up to school with that thing with them. I would do it. Or get in there. Get in the steps. You know, the last few years I've gone to that clean up the school day, they don't give me any of these power tools. They don't give me the good stuff like this.

Yes, because they look at you and go, you can't handle this. You don't know how to use it properly. Last two years, I showed up to volunteer to help clean up, and they had things like this. I never got it. They gave me Windex and a sponge, like a lady. Did you bring your lighter fluid and nails last time? I got a box of lighter fluid and nails. I mean, you guys didn't even hang anything.

Why is she so upset? Do you think it's cool that I have a gardening business? Yeah. Do you like my leaf? Can I come with you? Sure. Do you like my leaf blower? I'm going somewhere tonight.

Yeah, anyone who wants me to come do their yard, I'll do it for free. Why for free? Because it's fun. And you could bring me? Yeah. And I'm on to doing it again, Allie. Now you're doing her photo shoot. So whenever you guys, anyone needs any of this, I'll be bored with this soon enough.

But for right now, consider me at your disposal. I want it gone. Oh, you want it gone too? I don't like it. And I don't want it in here. Hey, it's cute. Unless it's for a fun photo shoot. Vanessa, I'm going to clean the back office later.

I know there's a lot of trash back there. I'm going to take care of all of it. No, I feel like the dust would fly everywhere. Oh, you're right. That's what's still going on in this studio The dust is going to fly everywhere But then guess what happens We inhale it and it's gone

We both have horrible allergies Why are we doing this to ourselves Well you don't understand it But I couldn't expect that from you Because it's the man tool Thank you Jake You know I have a leaf blower too I can bring in We can do dueling leaf blowers

Mine has to be plugged in Oh no The audience will love that We will take a quick break. When we're back in a moment, the show will continue and be less stupid than this, believe it or not. I'm going to see if I can send us in a break with this thing. Stop! I'm going to blow the button.

No, you're not going to blow a button! This thing is going to break! What are you... It works! It works! All right, we'll do some news now on KROQ. Then we'll get into a brand new hour and an opportunity for you to share with us some of your fun or summer fails. The goal was to have more fun, to do fun things, and they somehow backfired. It's happened to all of us already this summer.

perhaps happened to you as well, we'll make it up to one of you by sending you to something happening at the Hollywood Bowl. And if you like the Bowl, we've got some Jimmy at World tickets coming up later this morning in about an hour, so you can go there and be a part of KROQ's Road Trip USA. See them once here and potentially again on the road at Shaky Knees in Atlanta, where they'll be joined by many other greats like Violet Grohl and Turnstile will be there, and others.

So hopefully you are listening and ready to win your tickets coming up later this morning. But first, there's this. Grab your Adderall. It's time for ADD News. All right, here is your latest Jackie the Bald Eagle update. Unfortunately, she has taken a turn for the worse. Her packed cell volume, or PCV, has dropped to 13%, which means her anemia has gotten worse since the last update. They said she's not getting better and they don't know why, and recovery could last weeks or months.

This is all because she got into a fight with those other eagles. No, she was sick before that. They think that that's why she was targeted, because they could smell a weaker eagle. So they're like, hey, this one's on the outs. Let's get her. This is like a bullying thing, kind of? Yeah, basically. They bullied her because she was weak.

More like a girl bitch fight, because I think that both of them were girls. Because one of the girls that bitch slapped her is now hanging out with Shadow in the tree. It's wild to think about the fact that this is like animal stuff at its core, But really, it is so reflective of what happens with humans. Yeah, we are all animals. And they also posted a couple of new photos of Jackie. And, girl, it's just she looks so haggard. That's Jackie?

That's Jackie. I thought it was you. I'm like, my God, can we not, like, run a comb through her hair and take a flattering picture of her? Like, this poor girl is being nationally broadcast looking the worst she's ever looked. And the Wonder Shadows now with that other eagle. Jolene, by the way. Jolene. That's not a hot name.

That's the other one. Jolene. I've never seen that song about her in everything. Yeah, exactly. She's the nest wrecker. Jolene, huh? Coming in there. Wow.

Not as many songs about Jackie. Dolly Parton was right. Crazy. She predicted. She's like the Simpsons. Yeah. Crazy. It's unbelievable.

When the national anthem goes well, it's not news. Nobody cares about a successful national anthem performance. But when it goes badly, we are all over it. And this is quite possibly one of the worst national anthems ever performed. Worse than Fergie. Worse than even that drunk country singer, I think. So let's gather around and honor America by tearing down this woman's biggest moment. This was at a women's national pro baseball game.

So not exactly the big times necessarily, but this is R&B singer Martha Reeves and her performance with the Vandellas. Eyes last gleaming, whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight. She sounds like Jackie Lux. I mean. It's not good. Is that the worst version? Oh, I think it's pretty bad. All the rappers we watched were so gay.

Now I wish you had the leaf blower to round this woman out. They've taken her away. It's been confiscated. And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air, gave proof through the night. These ladies just like join in sometimes, but then not other times. She's already spoken about this. Do you think that's worse than this woman's? Yeah!

For the land of the free. This is Ali singing the national anthem. That was at the Cocaine Bear premiere. Cocaine Bear, everybody. Yeah, Cocaine Bear. She said the field conditions were wet and windy, and without stage monitors, she was not able to hear herself. so it wasn't the performance

she had hoped for but she's but unfortunately we were all able to hear it and she said she's grateful to have been there in support of these

remarkable athletes regardless but I will say I did sing the national anthem at an LA Galaxy game and I could not hear myself and I don't think I really did that great either

because if you can't hear yourself it's really tough and if they don't have a good monitor there where you can hear yourself singing it because it's not an easy song to sing

it can go bad pretty quickly. I mean, this is... Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave It just keeps going. I remember when Allie was asked to sing the National Anthem at the L.A. Galaxy game, and the best part about that was when they brought you out to do that. Hello, L.A. Galaxy fans.

Please rise for your National Anthem. You may know tonight's performer from the concession stand where she filled her pockets with free ketchup and mustard packets. She also has a peeping Tom who will watch you in your own home. So close your curtains and open your ears for this random white lady. That was Allie's big introduction. That was great. Here's a story about a random white man.

This is an idea for a gender reveal. A naked man jumped off a bridge with a homemade parachute, and it didn't go well for him, though he is still alive, thankfully. This comes after that couple climbed to the top of the Empire State Building, those other guys that jumped off the Space Needle in Seattle. This guy did it a lot worse. He jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge. He climbed up to the top of it, then got naked,

and then jumped into the water. I think he had the parachute, but, again, it was homemade, And he just kind of plummeted into the water He's in the hospital now It was a 278 foot drop But apparently he had some flags with him Because he's an activist against Kazakhstan He just hates it

It's just such an interesting thing for him to hate so much And his roommate said that he had talked about doing this Saying I want to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge on my birthday So he did it on his birthday What a way to celebrate Jake, go ahead Your move, buddy I know

Your move That's what everybody wants Get into a brand new hour of the show right now.